nowe o Lord Iesu thine accustomed mercies Wilt thou be displeased with me alwaies Be appeased I beseeche thee and take pittie of me and turne not away thy louinge face from me who to redeeme me hast not turned away thy face from those that did â—â—ocke and spit vpon thee I confesse that I haue sinned and my conscience doth adiudge me worthy of damnation neither is my pennance sufficient to make satisfaction neuerthelesse it is a thinge infallible that thy mercie doth surmount all offence whatsoeuer be it neuer soe abominable Wherefore o most mercifull Lord I beseeche thee doe not write any malitious bitternes against me neither enter into iudgment with thy seruant but according to the multitude of thy mercies blot out mine iniquities Woe be to me at the day of iudgment when the bookes of our consciences shal be opened wherein our actions are registred when of me it shall openly be proclaimed See heere the man and his deedes committed What shall I doe o Lord my God at that dreadfull day when the heauens shall reueale mine iniquitie and the earthe shall beare witnes against me Verilie I shall be mute and able to say nothinge but holding downe mine head through shame and confusion I shall stande before thee shaking and blushing Alas what shall I say I will call and crie vnto thee o Lord my God Why am I consumed being silent Neuerthelesse if I speake my greife will not cease and if I holde my peace I shall inwardlie be tormented with vnspeakeable bitternes Weepe o my soule and make lamentation as a younge married woman for the deathe of her newe married husbande weepe and bewaile thy miserie for that thy bridegroome which is Christ hath forsaken thee O anger of the almightie rushe not vpon me because thou canst not be contained in me verily there is nothing in me that is able to sustaine thee Take pittie of me loast I despaire of thy mercie that by despairing of my selfe I may finde comforte in thee And albeit I haue donne that for which thou maiest iustly condemne me yet thou hast not lost thy accustomed propertie of shewing mercie and pittie Thou o Lord dost not desire the death of sinners neither dost thou take pleasure in the perdition of those that die nay rather that those that were deade might 〈◊〉 thou thy selfe hast died and thy death hath beene the death of that death that was due to sinners And if thou dying they haue â—iued graâ—nt o Lord I beseeche thee that thou living I may not die Let thy heauenly hande help me and deliuer me from the handes of those that hate me lâ—ast they insult reioyce ouer me saying we haue deuouted him Howe is it possible o good Iesu that euer any one can despaiâ—e of thy mercie who when we were thine enimies hast redeemed vs with thy pretious blood and hast reconciled vs to God Beholde o Lord protected with the shadowe of thy mercie I runne crauing pardon to the throne of thy glorie calling and knocking vntill thou take pittie of me For if thou hast called vs to pardon euen when we did not seeke it by how much more shall we obtaine pardon if we aske it Remember not thy iustice o most sweete Iesu towardes me a sinner but be mindeful of thy meeknes towards me thy creature Remember not thine anger towardes me guilty but be mindefull of thy mercie towardes me in miserie Forgett my pride prouoking thee to displeasure and weigh my wretchednes imploring thy fauoure For what doth thy sacred name Iesu signifie sauing onely a Sauiour Wherfore o Sauioure Iesu be thou my succoure and protection say vnto my soule I am thy saluation I doe presume very muche of thy diuine bountie because thou thy selfe dost teache vs to aske seeke and knocke at the dore of thy mercie Wherfore I doe aske seeke and knocke at thy dore as by thy wordes thou hast admonished me to doe Thou therfore o Lord that willest me to aske graunt that I may receiue Thou that dost couÌ„sell me to seeke graunt me likewise to finde Thou that dost teach me to knock open vnto me knockinge at the dore of thy mercie Recouer me being diseased repaire me being crased raise me being deade Vouchsafe likewise soe to direct and gouerne all my senses thoughtes and actions in that which is pleasing vnto thee that from hence forth I may faithfullie serue thee I may liue and giue my selfe wholy vnto thee I knowe o Lord that by reason thou hast made me I doe owe my selfe vnto thee and by reason thou hast redeemed me and hast been made man for me I doe owe if I had it to giue thee much more then my self vnto thee by how much greater then me thou art who hast giuen thy selfe for me Beholde I hau nothing els to giue thee neither can I giue thee this without thee take me therefore and drawe me vnto thee that I may be thine by imitation and affection like as I am by condition and creation Who liuest and raignest world without end Amen A profitable Prayer CHAPT XL. O Lord God almightie who art Trinitie in vnitie who art alwaies in al thinges and wert before all thinges and wilt be in all thinges euerlastingly one blessed God during all eternitie To thee this day and all the dayes of my life I coÌ„mende my soule my bodie my seeing hearing taste smelling and touchinge all my cogitations affections wordes and actions all thinges that I haue without within me my sense and vnderstanding my memorie faith and beleife and my constancie in well doinge all these I commende into the handes of thy powerfull protection to the end that all the nightes and daies howers and moments of my life thou wilt vouchsafe to preserue them Heare me o sacred Trinitie and preserue me from all euill from all scandall from all offence mortall from all the deceiptes and vexations of the diuell and of mine ennimies visible and inuisible by the prayers of the Patriarchs by the meritts of the Prophets by the suffrages of the Apostles by the constancie of Martyrs by the faith of CoÌ„fessors by the chastity of Virgins and by the intercession of al those Saints and holy men that haue pleased and faithfullie serued thee since the worlde began roote out of my hart all vaine glorious ostentation and increase in me the spiritt of compunction appease my pride and make perfect my humilitie Stirre me vp to teares and contrition and mollifie my hart being as harde as a stone Deliuer me o Lord and my soule from all the snares of my ghostlie enimie and preserue me in the performance of that which is most pleasing vnto thee Teache me to doe thy will o Lord because thou art my God Giue me o Lord a perfect sense and intelligence wherâ—by I may be able to knowe and acknowledge thy maruailous greate kindenesse Graunt that my petitions may be such as that they may be pleasing to thee and profitable to my selfe â—raunt
where our forefathers did sit in darknes and hast returned from thence on the third day as a glorious conquerour resuming againe thy sacred bodie which for our sinnes had remained deade in the sepulcher and reuiuing it the third day accordinge to the scripture that thou mightest place it in glorie at the right hande of God the father For hauinge deliuered those from captiuitie whom the ancient foe and ennimie of mankind hath detained as prisoners in â—imbo Patrum thou the true sonne of God hast ascended aboue all the heauens with the substance of our flesh that is with a soule and humaine flesh taken of the glorious Virgin mounting aboue all the orders of Angells where thou sittest at the right hande of God the Father where there is the fountaine of life and that light vnto which noe creature can attaine where there is the peace of God which passeth all vnderstanding We adore thee Iesus Christ belieuing thee to be there confessinge God to be thy Father from whence we expect thee to come at the end of the worlde to iudge both the quicke and the deade and to render to all men whether good or euill a rewarde or punishment accordinge to theire actions donne in this life like as euery one shal be deemed worthy either of perpetuall peace or paine For all men that haue receiued a humaine soule shall arise at that day in the same fleshe which they had heere being by the voice of thy diuine power summoned to appeare to the end that euerie man his soule and body being reunited in one may according to his meritts receiue ether glorie or damnation Thou o Lord Iesus Christ art our life and our resurrection whom we expect as our Sauiour to come and saue vs who wilt reforme the bodie of our basenes making it conformable to the bodie of thy brightnes I haue knowen thee true God and one holy Spirit of the Father and the Sonne proceeding equallie from both of them consubstantiall and coeternall to the Father and the Sonne being our comforter and aduocate who in likenes of a doue hast descended vppon the same God our Lord Iesus Christ appearing likewise in tongues of fire vppon the Apostles Who alsoe by the guift of thy grace hast taught all the Saints and elect of God from the beginning openning in like manner the mouthes of the Prophetes to the end they might declare the wonderfull thinges of thy heauenly kingdome who together with the Father and the Sonne art adored and glorified of all the Saints of God Amongst whome I likewise the sonne of thy hande-maide doe with my whole hart glorify thy name because thou hast enlightned me For thou art the true light the light that telleth the truth the truth the fire of God and the maister and directour of our soules who by thy sacred vnction dost teache vs all truth Thou art the Spirit of truth without whose ayde it is impossible to please God because thou thy selfe art God of God light of light proceeding after an vnspeakable manner from the Father of lightes and from his sonne Iesus Christ our Lord with whom thou art glorified and dost raigne together with them superessentiallie being consubstantiall coequall and coeternal with them in the essence of one Trinitie I haue knowen thee one liuing and true God the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost three indeede in personnes but one in essence whom I confesse adore and glorifie with my whole harte as the tâ—ue and onely God holy immortall inuisible immutable inaccessible vnsearcheable one light one sunne one breade one life one good one beginning and one end one creator of heauen and earthe by whom all thinges doe liue are preserued guided gouerned and reuiued in heauen in earthe and vnder the earth besides whom there is noe God either is heauen or earthe Thus o Lord God I haue knowen thee who knowest me thus I haue knowen thee I haue knowen thee o my light by thy faithe which thou hast inspired into me o Lord my God the light of â—â—ineeies the hope of the vniuersall worlde the ioy that maketh glad my young and tender yeares and the good that sustaineth my old age All my bones reioyce in thee o Lord saying O Lord who is like vnto thee Who is like vnto thee o Lord amongst the Gods For that the handes of men haue not made thee but contrariwise it is thou that hast made the handes of men The idolls of the Gentills are siluer and golde the workemanship of the handes of men but the maker of men is not such an one All the Gods of the Gentiles are diuells but our Lord hath made the heauens he therefore is the true God Let those Gods which haue not made heauen and earthe perishe and be cast forth of heauen and earthe and let heauen and earthe prayse that God which hath created heauen and earthe The acknowledging of our owne basenes CHAPT XXXIII WHo is like vnto thee o Lord euen amonge the Gods Who I say is like vnto thee Thou art greate in sanctiâ—ie terrible and worthy to be praised doing things that deserue to be admired Too too late haue I knowen thee o true light too too late haue I knowen thee And the cause was for that there was a great and darke cloude before mine eies that delighted in vanitie which hindred me from beholding the sunne of iustice and the light of all veritie I was wrapt in darknes being the child of darknes because I knewe not the light I was blindâ— and loued blindnes and walked through one darknes into an other Who hath deliuered me from thence where I remained as a blinde man sitting in darknes and in the shadowe of death Who hath taken me by the hande and lead me forthe of the same Who is he that hath thus enlightned me I sought him not and he sought me I called him not and he called me But who is he Thou art he o Lord my God being most mercifull and pittifull yea the Father of mercies and God of all comforte Thou o Lord my God most holy art he that hast donne the same whom I confesse with my whole harte rendring thanks to thy holy name I did not seeke thee thou hast sought me I did not call vpon thee thou hast called me yea thou hast called me by thine owne name Thou hast thundered from heauen with a greate voice into the internall eare of my harte saying Let light be made and light was made whereupon that greate and darke cloude which had couered mine eies departed and was dissolued whereby I haue seene thy light and knowen thy voice And I saied Trulieo Lord thou art my God who hast deliuered me out of darknes and from the shadowe of deathe calling me into thy admirable light soe that now I see Thanks be to thee o Lord who hast enlightned me And I looked backe and beheld the darknes wherein I had liued and the deepe darke dongeon wherein I had remained
comforte during the time of this my banishment Let my minde flie vnder the shadow of thy winges from the heate of worldly cogitations Let my harte pause and repose in thee my harte I say which is like vnto a spatious and tempestuous sea O God the most riche and bountifull giuer of the diuine daintie dishes of heauenlie plentie refreshe it being wearie recall it being gone astray deliuer it being in captiuitie and being by sinne as it were broken in peeces restore it to the estate of its former innocencie Beholde it standeth at thy dore knocking and calling vnto thee I beseech thee o Lord by the bowells of thy mercy in which thou hast visited vs comminge downe from heauen commaund thy gate to be opened vnto my poore wretched soule knocking at the same to the end it may freelie enter in and repose in thee and be fed by thee the breade of heauen for thou art the breade and fountaine of life thou art the light of euerlasting felicitie thou art all thinges by which the righteous doe liue that loue thee Of the desire of the soule CHAPT V. O God the light of those harts that see thee the life of those soules that loue thee the strength of those thoughtes that seeke thee graunt me grace that by loue I may alwaies adhere vnto thee Come I beseech thee into my harte and make it drunke with the plentie of thy pleasure to the end I may forget all temporall thinges whatsoeuer Verilie I am ashamed and grieued to endure such thinges as are donne in the worlde Whatsoeuer I see in this vale of miserie is displeasing vnto me whatsoeuer I heare of thinges transitorie is burdensome vnto me Helpe me o Lord my God and make my harte glad come vnto me that I may see thee But alas the house of my soule is ouer little to entertaine thee vntill thou enter into it and enlarge it It is ruinous and ready to fall wherfore I beseech thee to repaire it It hath many thinges I confesse and knowe contained in it which are displeasing in thy sight but who will cleanse it or to whom besides thee shall I crie to doe it Cleanse me o Lord from my secret sinnes and be mercifull vnto thy seruaunt in respect of other mens sinnes committed by my meanes Graunt me grace o sweete Christ o good Iesu graunt me grace I beseech thee to lay aside the burden of all carnall loue and worldly desires through the loue and desire of thee Let my soule haue dominion ouer my body reason ouer my soule thy grace ouer reason and make me in all thinges subiect to thy most holy will both without and within Afforde me this fauoure I beseech thee that my harte and tongue and all my bones may praise and magnifie thee Dilate my mind and lift vp the eies of my harte that albeit for neuer soe shorte a time my soule may attaine vnto thee the eternall wisedome abiding aboue all thinges Free me I beseech thee from the bandes with which I am bounde that forsaking all thinges transitorie I may adhere and attende vnto thee onely Of the soules felicitie being deliuered out of the prison of this earthly body CHAPT VI. HAppy is that soule which beinge freed from this earthlie prison doth freely mounte vp into heauen which beholdeth thee o sweete Lord apparantlie face to face being now noe more affraied of deathe or of any worldlie miserie but reioycinge throughe the immortalitie of euerlasting glory It liueth in repose and securitie fearing now neither deathe noâ— ennimie It enioyeth thee being a mercifull Lord whom it hath long sought and alwaies loued and being ioyned in felowship with the quires of Angells it singeth for euer mellifluous sonnets of perpetuall gladnes in praise and commendation of thy glory o Christ our King o good Iesu Verilie it becommeth as it were drunke throughe the aboundance of thy heauenlie habitation because thou dost cause it to drinke of the riuer of thy vnspeakeable delectation O howe happy is the heauenlie company of celestiall cittizens how glorious is the solemniâ—ie of all those that returne vnto thee o Lord from the toiles and trauailes of this our pilgrimage to the pleasantnes of all beauty to the beauty of all brightnes and to the dignitie of all excellencie where thy cittizens o Lord doe continuallie see thee Nothing at all is there hearde that may molest the minde What sacred Canticles what diuersitie of instruments what delightfull ditties what sweete sounds of heauenlie harmonie are there hearde incessantlie There the mellifluous organ there the most sweete melodie of Angels doe sounde forth Hymnes and admirable Canticles of Canticles euelastingly which are songe by the celestiall cittizens to thy praise and glory Noe spitefulnes or bitternes of affection is founde in that heauenly region for that neither malice nor malitious men haue there any abiding Noe aduersarie is there to impugne vs nor occasion of sinne to entice vs. There is noe want or pouertie in that place noe shame or disgrace noe brawling noe vp braiding noe blaming noe fearefullnes noe disquietnes noe paine noe doubtfullnes noe violence noe variance but contrariwise surpassing greate peace perfect charitie singing and praising of God euerlastinglie perpetuall repose ioined with securitie and ioy in the holy Ghost during all eternitie O how fortunate shall I be if after this life I shal be admitted to heare the most pleasant and sweete songes of those heauenlie cittizens if I shal be admitted I say to heare those mellifluous meeters of poetrie made to expresse the praises and honoure due to the most sacred Trinitie O how much more happy shall I be then I can imagine if I my selfe likewise shal be thought worthy to sing a songe to our Lord Iesus Christ euen one of the sweete songes of Syon Of the ioy of Paradise CHAPT VII O Liuing life o euerlasting life and euerlastinglie happie Where there is ioy without griefe rest without laboure dignitie without feare riches without sicknes plentie without want life without deathe eternitie without corruption felicitie without affliction where all good thinges are comprehended in perfect charitie where the Sainctes see God and one an other apparantlie where where there is perfect knowledge in all thinges and of all thinges where the supreame goodnes of God is behelde and the light that enlightneth all thinges is by the Saincts glorified where Gods maiestie is seene present and with this foode of life the minde of the beholders doth remaine satisfied and content They alwaies see God and by seeing long to see him they desire it without loathsomnes where the true sunne of iustice doth refreshe them all by the wonderfull light of his vnspeakeable beautie and doth in that manner enlighten all the câ—ttizens of that celestiall countrie as that they beinge but a light enlightned by God who is the light that enlightneth them doe shine more bright then the sunne and all the stars of heauen Who adhering vnto God who is
vniuerâ—allie knowen which he knoweth He oftentimes meditateth of God and by meditating of him is sweetely refrâ—shed gatheringe by soe much the more profit by it by how the more often he doth it For that which is alwaies sweete to be loued and praised is likewise sweete to be considered Of true quietnes of harte CHAPT XXIX THis without doubt is true quietnes of harte when by desire it is wholy fixt on the loue of God Neither doth it couet any thinge els but is delighted throughe a certaine sweetnes which it findeth in that which it doth possesse and by being delighted doth exceedingly reioyce But if it chaÌ„ce to be neuer soe little distracted from thence throughe some vaine cogitation or worldly occasion it forthwith hastneth with all the speede it can to returne thither againe esteeming the stay which it maketh els where to be worse then any banishment whatsoeuer For as there is noe moment in which man doth not enioy the benefit of Gods mercie soe there ought to be noe moment in which he hath not God present in his memorie And therfore he is guiltie of noe small sinne who talking with God in prayer is sodainely distracted from his sight as it were from the eies of one that doth neither see nor heare him Which hapneth when any one followeth his euill and importunate cogitations and preferreth some base and abâ—ect creature that occurreth to his imagination â— before him that created him that is to say by musinge and thinking more thereof then of God whom he ought coÌ„tinuallie to remember as his Creator to adore as his redeemer to expect as his Sauiour and to dreade as his iudge full of feare and terroure How euery thing that hindereth the soule from the sight of God ought to be auoided and detested CHAPT XXX O Thou that louest the worlde looke whâ—ther thou art going This way in which thou walkst is naught and leades to ruine Ely therfore o man fly a little from all earthly occupations and hide thy selfe a while from thy tumultuous cogitations Cast away now all care and solliâ—itude lay aside all dissension and discorde attende a while vnto God and repose in him at least for some short time Enter into the closet of thy soule exclude from thence all thinges besides God and such thinges as ayde thee to seeke him which donne shut the dore against them that thou maiest the better seeke him Then with thy whole harte say vnto God Thy face o Lord is that which I desire thy face is that which I seeke for Now therfore o Lord my God teach my harte where and how it may seeke thee where and how it may finde thee If thou o Lord art not heere present where shall I seeke thee absent But if thou be euery where why doe I not seeke thee heere Certainely this is the reason for that thou dwellest in that light vnto which noe man can attaine how then shall I attaine to that light vnto which noe man can attaine Or who shall conduct me and bring me into the same that I may see thee therin Moreouer by what signes or semblance shall I seeke thee I haue neuer seene thee o Lord my God I haue neuer knowen thy face What shall he doe o Lord most highe what shall he doe that liueth in exile soe farre distant from thee What shall thy seruaÌ„t doe that laÌ„guisheth throughe thy loue being cast a farre of as one foâ—lorne out of thy sight Beholde he exceedinglie desireth to see thee and thy face iâ— very farre distant from him He desireth to come vnto thee and the place of thy abode is of that surpassing heighâ— as that noe man is able to mounte vp vnto it He longeth to finde thee but knoweth not thy residence he coueteth to seeke thee but knoweth not thy countenance How the sight of God hath been lost by meanes of our sinne and misery hath succeeded in place of the same CHAPT XXXI THou o Lord art my God and my Lord and yeâ— I haue neuer beheld thee thou hast created and redeemed me and bestowed almost infinite benefits vpoÌ„ me and yeâ— I haue not hitherto either sene or knowen thee Finally I was made to beholde thee yet I haue not hitherto permed that for which I was created O how much is mans misfortune to be lameÌ„ted seing he hath lost that for which he was created O cruell and harde happe Alas what hath he lost and what hath he founde What hath departed and what hath remained He hath lost felicity vnto which he was created and founde misâ—ry vnto which he was not ordained That hath departed without which nothing is happy and that hath remained which of itselfe is nothing but meere misery Man heerefore did eare the breade of Angells which now he would gladly eate if he coulde get it but now he eateth the breade of anguishe being then ignorant of it How longe o Lord wilt thou forget vs how longe wilt thou turne away thy face from vs when wilt thou vouchsafe to looke vpon vs and heare vs When wilt thou illuminate our eies and shewe vs thy countenance When wilt thou shewe thy selfe fauourable vnto vs Looke vpon vs o Lord and heare vs enlighten vs and shewe thy selfe fauourable vnto vs. Returne vnto vs that it may goe well with vs because without thee it â—areth amisse with vs. Call vs vnto thee o Lord I beseech thee and helpe vs to come vnto thee My harte is growen bitter throughe oâ—ermuch desolation sweeten it therfore with thy consolation I haue bâ—gunne to seeke thee as one hungry permit me not to depart away empty I approache vnto thee as one huÌ„ger-starued let me not goe away vnfedd Being poore and needy I present my selfe before thee who art wealthie being in miserie I cast my selfe at the feete of thy mercy humbly crauing that I may not be sent away as an abiect without receiuing something I am become crooked o Lord soe that I am not able to see any other thinges but those that are heere beneathe in this vale of miserie raise me and holde me vpright that I may looke vpwarde and atteÌ„de vnto thinges that are heauenlie Mine iniquities haue gone ouer mine heade they haue ouer whelmed me and as a heauie burden doe oppresse me Deliuer me vnloade me least the infernal pit of hel shut his mouthe vpon me Teache me to seeke thee shewe thy selfe vnto me when I seeke thee for that I cannot seeke thee vnlesse thou teache me neither caÌ„ I finde thee vnlesse thou vouchsafe to shew thy selfe vnto me Graunt me grace therefore that I may seeke thee by desiring thee and desire thee by seeking thee GrauÌ„t that I may finde thee by louing thee and loue thee by finding thee Of the goodnes of God CHAPT XXXII I Confesse o Lord and giue thee hartie thanks for that it hath pleased thee to create me according to thine owne image to the end that being mindfull of thee I might coÌ„tinuallie
of my vitious inclinations set open this pious place of refuge to which I may flie from the tumults of mine inordinate affections Graunt o Lord thou strength of my saluatioÌ„ that I be not of the number of those whoe for a â—ime beleiue and in time of temptation doe departe and leaue thee couer my heade in the day of battaile my hope in the day of affliction and my safegarde in time of tribulation Beholde o Lord my light and my life I haue asked those thinges which I want I haue made knowen those thinges which I feare neuerthelesse my conscience tormeÌ„teth me the secrets of my hart doe reprehende me and what loue affordeth feare disperseth zeale encourageth me dreade daunteth me mine actions cause me to feare but thy pittie giueth me cause of hope thy mercie emboldeneth me but my malice with-holdeth me And to speake the truth there occure to my memory many sinfull imaginations which reprehende the boldnes of my presuminge affections Mans complainte who for his disobedience is not heard of God CHAPT III. HE therefore which deserueth anger with what face can he demaunde fauoure he which meriteth to be punished howe can he be soe foole-hardie as to aske to be rewarded he incenseth the iudge whoe neglectinge to make satisfaction for his offence maketh meane to obtaine a recompence that malefactor mocketh and derideth his kinge and Lord that carnestly requiteth that price and honouâ—e which he nouer deserued That foolishe sonne likewise preuoketh to anger the sweete affection of his father whoe after reproaches offered bâ—fore repentance doth vsurpe and lay title to his inheritance What is this o Father thaâ— I recompt of myselfe I haue desâ—rued deathe yet begge for life I haue moued my kinge to anger whose aide not withstanding I impudentlie implore I hauâ— dâ—spiâ—ed my judge whome rashely I demaunde to be my helper I haue insolentlie refusâ—d to heaâ—e himâ—a a father whome nowe I presume to choose for my dâ— fender Woe is me for not comminge soe soone as I ought Alas alas howe little haâ—â— doe I make Woe is me for that I runne nowe after woundes be receiued disdatning to take heede of the dartes before I was wounded I neglected to beware of the weapons before hande yet nowe I am troubled throughe the apprehension of deathe at hande I haue inflâ—cted woundâ— vppon wounde for that I haue not feared to adde sinne vppon sinne I haue made my former scarrs to fester with newe sores for that I haue renewed my former faultes by newe iniquities and those whome the diuine salue had made sounde my phreneticall itching hath againe vnbound The skin which being growen ouer my woundes had hidden my maladie by reason of the corruption breakinge forthe hath growen to putrifie because mine iniquitie beinge reâ—â—eraâ—ed hath euacuated and bereaued me of mercie which before was graunted for that I knowe it is written In what hower soeuer a iust man shall sinne all his good deedes shal be forgotten If the righteousnesse of a good man is abolished when hâ—â—â—lleth into sinne by how much more is the pennance of a sinner defaced if he returne to the same O howe often haue I as a dogge returned to that which I had vomitted vpp before and as a sowe haue wallowed agains in the mire I confesse that it is impossible for me to remember howe manie simple and ignorant personnes by my meanes haue sinned howe manye that were desirous to cease from sinne I haue persuaded howe many that haue with-stoode me I haue constrained to howe many that were willing I haue consented to howe many that walked in the right way I haue prepared a ginne to how many that sought the right way I haue vncouered the pit that they might fall in and that I might not be deteried from committing still the like I easily put those past out of my minde But thou in the interim being a â—ust iudge markinge and sealinge vpp mine offenses as it were in a bagge hast considered all my waies and hast numbred all my foote stepps Thou hast all this while helde thy peace thou hast bene silent thou hast beene patient Woe is me for that thou wilt speake at length as a woman in her trauaile The dreade of the iudge comming to iudgement CHAPT IV. O God of Gods o Lord in mercy surmountinge the malice of men I knowe thou wilt not be alwaies silent then I meane when a flaminge fire shall burne before thee and a terrible tempest shall shoure downe rounde about thee when thou shalt call both heauen and earthe to iudge and discerne thy people And loe in the presence of soe many millions of people al mine iniquities shal be reuealed before soe many troupes of Angels al myne abominations shal be desplaied not onely of mine actions but likewise of my wordes and cogitations Ther shall I poore wretche stande to be iudged by so many as haue gone before me in doing good I shall by soe many accusers be thought worthy of hell as haue giuen me example of liuing well I shal be conuinced by soe many witnesses as haue admonished me by theire wholesome speeches and by their godly and pious conuersation haue caried themselues worthy of imitation O my Lord I knowe not what to say I knowe not what to answere And albeit I am as yet free from that terrible danger neuerthelesse my conscience doth afflict me the hidden secrets of my harte doe torment me couetousnes doth presse me pride doth accuse me enuie doth consume me concupiscence doth enflame me luste doth moleste me gluttonie doth disgrace me dronkennes doth conuince me detraction doth rent me ambition doth supplante me extorsion doth check me discorde doth distract me anger doth disturbe me leuitie doth vndoe me drousines doth oppresse me hyprocrisie doth deceiue me flattery doth subdue me fauoure doth eâ—toll me backbitinge doth disquiet me Beholde o my deliuerer whoe hast deliuered me out of the hands of cruell people Beholde with whome I haue liued from the day of my birthe with whome I haue studied and with whome I haue kept promise Those veâ—ie studies which here â—ofore I affâ—cted doe condemne me which in imeâ— paâ—t I praysed doe dispraise me These are the friends to whome I haue assenâ—ed the teachers whom I haue obeyed the maâ—sters whome I haue serued the consellers with whome I haue beleiued the cittizens with whome I haue inhabited the famâ—har acquaintance to whome I haue consented Woe is me o my kinge and my God for that my abode heare is prolonged Woe is me o my light for that I haue liued with those that liue in darknes And seeing holy Dauid saied soe muche howe muche more may I be able to say My soule hath dwelt too longe in a strange lande O my God my force and my fortresse noe man shal be iustified in thy sight My hope is not in the sonnes of men Whom wouldest thou find iustified if thou shouldest iudge seuerely setting mercie aside Neither is there any thinge
whereof a iust man may vaunt or which can bringe him to glorie vnlesse thou preuent him afore hande being of him selfe vniust with thy mercy and pittie I therfore o my Saujour belieue what I haue hearde that it is thy goodnes that doth drawe me to repentance thy hony-sweete lipps haue toulde it me Noeman can come to me vnlesse my Father who hath sent me drawe him Seeinge therefore it hath pleased thee to instruct me and by instruction hast vouchsafed mercifully to enforme me I beseech thee with all the forces of my harte and minde o almightie father togeather with thy most beloued sonne I beseeche thee likewise o most sweete sonne together with the most gratious hohe Ghost vouchsafe to draw me that I may runne after thee by vertue of the sweete smel of thy preâ—ious ointmeÌ„ts The helpe of God the father is desired by the merits of God the sonne CHAPT V. VNto thee I crie o my God vnto thee I call for that thou art nighe to all those that crie and call vpon thee in the truth Thou art the truth reach me I beseech thee for thy mercies sake teache me o sacred truthe to call vpon thee in the truthe and for that I knowe not how this ought to be donne I humbly desire thee o blessed truth that thou wilt vouchsafe to teache me because wisedome without thee is meere ignorance but the knowledge of thee is an absolute science Instruct me o diuine wisedome teache me thy lawe because I assure my selfe that man shal be happie whome thou shalt vouchsafe to instruct and â—each in thy law I desire to implore thy assistance which I beseeche thee let be donne in the truth What is it to implore the assistance of the truthe in the truthe sauinge onely the assistance of the father in the sonne Thy worde therfore o holy Father is the truthe the truthe being likewise the beginninge of thy wordes For this is the beginninge of thy wordes that in the beginninge was the Worde In that beginning I adore thee whoe art the best beginninge In that worde of truthe I craue thy ayde o most absolute truthe In which worde of truthe may it please thee whoe art the selfe same truthe to direct and instruct me in the truthe for what is more sweete then to call vppon the father in the name of his onely begotten sonne to moue the father to mercie by remembrance of his childe to appease the kings sury by naminge his dearest progenie By these meanes are fellons deliuered out of prison thus they that lie fettered are freed from theire irons thus they that are condemned obtaine not onely to be quit and absolued but likewise with unexpected fauoures to he rewarded to wit by making knowen to the Princes thus incensed the loue of theire childe soe muche beloued in this manner likewise doe seruants escape the punishment of theire maisters when they haue offended whilst the sweetnes of theire children doth make intercession for them that they may be pardonned After the same manner I beseeche thee o father omnipotent by the loue of thy omnipotent sonne deliuer my soule out of prison to the end it may more freely confesse thy name I beseeche thee by thy coeternall and onely sonne deliuer me from the irons and fetters of sinne and by the intercession of thy most deare childe sittinge at thy right hande vouchsafe to restore me to life beinge by him appeased albeit my meritts doe adiudge me to be condemned Certainely I knowe noe other mediatour whome I may sende vnto thee but him onely whoe is the sacrifice offered for the reconciliation of our sinnes whoe sitteth at thy right hande makinge intercession for vs. Loe this is my aduocate with thee o God the father Loe this is that high Priest whoe needeth not to be purged with an others bloude for that he shineth beinge sprinkled with his owne Loe this is that sacred hoste soe pleasinge and ful of perfection offered and accepted so aâ—sauoure of sweetnes Loe this is that lambe without blemish who before those that sheared him heaâ—d his peace for that beinge buffeted spit vpon and reuiled he did not soe muche as open his mouth Thus he that was free from sinne tooke vpon him the burden of our sinnes and by his owne woundes cured out soares Heere man doth represent to God the Father the passion of his sonne CHAPT VI BEholde o pittifull father thy most pittifull sonne suffring such pittifull thinges for me See o most mercifull kinge whoe it is that suffereth Is not this o my Lord thy most innocent sonne whom thou dâ—dstgiue therby to deliuer thy seruant Is not this he o author of life whoe was led as a sheepe to the slaughter and being made obedient vnto thee even unto deathe feared not to vndergo that kinde of deathe which of all others is most cruell and painefull May it please thee who art the only dispenser and disposer of our safety and saluation to remember that this is he whome albe â—it thou hast begotten by thine owne vertue and diuinitie thou wouldest have notwithstandinge to be pertaker of mine infumitie This verily is thy diuiniâ—e whoe tooke vppon it my humaniâ—ie ascended the tree of the crosse and in the fleshe which it had assumed sustained greate torments O my Lord God vouch safe to ast the eies of thy maiestie vppon the worke of thine unspeakeable mercie Beholde thy sweete sonne stretched forth at lenght on the crosse Looke vppon his innocent handes gushing for the streames of innocent bloude and being pacified remit the misdeedes which my handeâ— haue committed Consider his naked side pierced throughe with a cruell lance and cleanse me in that sacred fontaine which I do belieue to haue flowed from thence See his vndefiled feete whoe neuer stoode in the way of sinners but alwaies walked in thy lawe fastned with longe and boysterous nayles and gratiously make perfect my paces in thy paths makinge me to hate and abhor all the waies of iniquitie Remoue from me the way of iniquitte and mercifullie make me to chose the way of veritie I beseeche thee o kinge of Sainctes by thy faincte of Sainctes by this my redeemer make me to runne the way of thy commaÌ„dements that I may be vnited to him in spirit who disdained not to be cloathed with my fleshe Dost thou not marke o merciful father the heade of this thy younge and dearest sonne being bowed downe on his snowe-white shoulder resolued into a deathe of vnestimable value Looke vppon the humanitie of thy beloued child most meeke creator and take compassion of the weakenes of thy weake creature His naked breast groweth white his bloudie side loketh redde his out-stretched bowells become drie his comely eies growe dimme his kingly countenance waxeth pale his longe armes growe colde and stiffe his thighes in whitenes like vnto Alablaster hange downe the water of his blessed bloude doth bathe his pierced feete Beholde o glorious father the mangled members of thy most gratious
my cause from vniust people teache me to fulfill thy will for thou art my God Because I beleiue that in whom soeuer thou doost vouchsafe to make thine habitation in him thou doost builde a house for God the Father and the Sonne That man doubtles is blest who shal be thought worthy to haue thee for his guest for that by thee the Father and the sonne will with him make their mansion Come now come most kinde comforter of a sorrowefull soule come most ready helper in tribulation and time of trouble Come o cleanser of sinnes o healer of woundes Come o strength of such as are fraile o releife of suche as fall Come o instructer of the simple and lowly destroyer of the proude and hautie Come o pittifull Father of the fatherlesse milde iudge of widowes Come o hope of the needy refresher of the fainte and sickly Come o bright starre of those that saile o hauen of those that by shipwrack faile on the sea Come o singular commendation of all men liuing the onely saluation of the faithfull departing Come o most holie Spirit come and take pittie vpon me Vnite me vnto thee and gratiously graunt me that according to the multitude of thy mercies my smalnes may be pleasing to thy greatnes and my weakenes to thy force through our Sauiour Iesus Christ who together with the Father in thy vnity liueth and raigneth for euer and euer Amen A Prayer for one seruing God and thinkinge humbly of himselfe CHAPT X. I knowe o Lord I knowe and confesse that I am not worthy to be beloued of thee yet certainely thou art not vnworthy to be beloued of me I am vnworthy I coÌ„fesse to serue thee but thou art not vnworthy worthy of my seruice seinge thou hast created me Graunt me therefore o Lord to doe that whereof thou art worthy and I shal be worthy of that whereof I am now vnworthy Make me by what meanes thou wilt to cease from iniquitie that accordinge as I am bounde I may be able to serue thee Graunt me soe to keepe gouerne and end my life that I may sleepe in peace and rest in thee Giue me grace at my dyinge day to sleepe with repose to repose with securitie to be secure for all eternitie Amen A Prayer to the Holy Trinitie CHAPT XI WIth my whole harte and mouthe I confesse thee God the Father vnbegotten thee the Sonne onely begotten thee the Holy Ghost giuer of comforte and consolation the holy and vndeuided Trinitie to thee be glorie for all eternitie The acknowledginge of God almightie and of his maiestie CHAPT XII O Holy Trinitie one virtue and vnseparable maiestie one God and God almighty I confesse vnto thee I that am the last and least of thy seruants and a poore member of thy church I confesse vnto thee and honour thee with a sacrifice of praise as is my duty according to the small knowledge and abilitie which thou hast giuen me And for that I haue noe exteriour guifts to offer vnto thee I therfore from an vnfained faith and vndefiled conscience doe willingâ—ly and ioyfully offer vnto thee those vowes of praise which by the guift of thy grace are fouÌ„de within me I therefore with my whole harte beleiue and call vpon thee I confesse the Father the Sonne and the Holy Ghost three in persons and one in substance to be the true God omnipotent of one nature or essence simple spirituall inuisible incompreâ—ensible hauing nothing higher or lower or greater then thy selfe but beinge perfect without deformity great without quantity good without quality eternall without time life without death strong without infirmity true without falshood euery where present without situation wholy euery where without location filling all thinges without extension occurring euery where without contradiction going beyond all thinges without motion stayinge in all thinges without station creatinge all thinges hauing want of nothing gouerning all thinges without trauaile or perturbation giuing beginning to all thinges thy selfe being without beginning making all thinges mutable thy selfe being without mutation In greatnes infinite in vertue omnipotent in goodnes superexcellent in wisedome inestimable in thy counsells terrible iust in thy iudgements most secrett in thy cogitations true in thy wordes holy in thy workes aboundant in mercies Most patient towardes offenders most pittifull towardes penitent sinners beinge still the same eternall and euerlastinge immortall immutable whom the largenes of places doth not enlarge nor the litlenes make lesse nor any places of receipt whatsoeuer doe any way straighten and presse together Neither doth thy will alter thee nor freindshipp corrupt thee or dolefull thinges trouble thee or ioyfull thinges moue thee Whom neither forgettfullnes doth make to forgett nor remembrance to remember any thinge To whom thinges past and thinges to come are alwaies present To whom beginning neuer gaue beginning nor time augmentation neither shall any hap or chaunce euer giue ending but thou art he who liuest for euer and euer before all ages and in all ages and through out all ages To thee therefore is due perpetuall prayse and eternall glorie most soueraigne power and singular dignitie and euerlastinge kingdome and dominion worlde without end duringe all eternitie Amen After what manner it pleased God the Father to succoure mankinde Of the incarnation of the diuine Worde and thankes for the same CHAPT XIII HItherto o God almighty the beholder and searcher of my hart I haue confessed the omnipotency of thy maiestie the maiesty of thy omnipotency but now after what manner thou hast vouchsafed to helpe mankind towardes the end of the world as I beleiue with the hart for my iustification soe I confesse with my mouth before thee therby to attaine saluation Certaine it is we cannot any where finde it written of thee that thou o God the Father hast at any time beene sent alone but of thy sonne thus writteth thy Apostle But when the fulnes of time was come God sent his soâ—re When he saieth he sent he sufficiently declareth that he came at that time sent into this worlde when being borne of blessed Marie euer a Virgin he appeared in our flesh true and perfect man But what is that which the cheife euaÌ„gelist affirmeth of him He was in the world and the world was made by him Doutlesse he was sent thither by taking vpoÌ„ him our humanitie where he alwaies hath beene and is remaining by his diuinity Which Mission I verily beleiue with my whole hart and confesse with my mouth to haue bene the work of the whole holy Trinity Now how greately hast thou loued vs o holy and louing Father how greately hast thou loued vs o pitâ—ifull Creator who hast not spared euen thine onely son but hast giuen him for vs sinners He hath beene obedient vnto thee vnto death euen the death of the crosse and takinge our hand writing or obligation wherin we stoode bounde aâ— slaues to the diuell by sinne and fastninge the same to the crosse he
be wanting if the wife be conioyned to her husband with that feruoure of minde as that through the greatnes of her loue shee can take noe repose being not able without greate greife to sustaine the absence of her beloued husbande with what affection desire and feruoure of minde ought that soule whoÌ„ thou hast espoused and linked vnto thee by faith and thy manifold mercies to loue thee the true God the most beautifull spouse who hast after that wonderfull manner loued and saued vs who hast donne soe many soe greate and such vnspeakeable thinges for vs. But althoughe the transitorie thinges of this worldâ— haue theire particular loues and delightes yet is the delight and content which they yeilde farre inferiour to that which proceedeth from thee o Lord our God In thee the iust man is dâ—lighted because thy loue is sweete and peaceable thou being accustomed to replenishe those hartes which thou dost possesse with vnspeakeable delight sweetnesse and quietnes Contrariwise the loue of the worlde and of the fleshe causeth a thousande woes not permittinge the soules into which it entreth to be at any repose but continually vexeth them with suspitions with diuers doubtes and perturbations Thou therfore o Lord art the delight of good and iust men and truly not without reason for that in thee is true repose and a life free from molestation He that entreth into thee o good God entreth into the ioy of his Lord and shall not be any more afraied but shall finde himselfe happily placed in a most happie habitation saying This is my rest for euermore heere I will dwell because I haue chosen the same And Againe Our Lord guideth me and I shall want nothinge he hath placed me in a place of pasture O sweete Christ o good lesu fill my harte perpetually with thy vnquenchable charitie with the continuall remembrance of thee soe that beinge become as a fierie flame I may wholy burne through the sweetnes of thy loue which loue in me let be soe greate as that whole fountaines flouddes of water may neuer be able to quenche it Make me most sweete Lord to loue thee and for thy loue to lay a side the heauie and vnsuportable burden of all earthly and carnall conscupiscences which doe molest and presse downe my wretched soule to the end that being freed from them and runninge after thee in the sweete smell of thy odoriferous ointments I may at length hauinge thee for my guide be able to attaine to the vision and fruition of thy beauâ—ie and by the same to remaine truly satisfied eternally For two seuerall loues the one good the other â—uill the one sweete the other bitter cannot in one harte possibly dwell together And therefore if any one doth loue any thinge besides thee thy charitie in him o God is not the loue of sweetnes and the sweetnes of loue for thou art that loue that afflicteth not but delighteth that loue that for euer remaineth chast and sincere that loue alwaies burneth and neuer consumeth O sweete Christ o good Iesu my loue my loue and my God inflme me wholy with thy fire with the loue of thee with thy sweetnes and delectaâ—ion with thy mirth and exultation with thy pleasure and desire which is holy and good chast cleane quiet and secure to the end that being wholy replenished with the sweetnes of thy loue being wholy inflamed with the fire of thy charity I may loue thee my God with all my harte force and strength hauinge thee at all times and in al places in my harte in my mouth and before mine cees soe that noe receptacle may be founde in me to receiue the counterfayted loue of thinges transitorie Heare o my God heare o light of mine eies heare and graunt what I demaunde of thee to the end thou maiest heare me O most meeke and mercifull Lord refuse not to heare me by reason of my sinnes but for thy goodnes sake receiue the prayers of me thy vnworthy seruant and graunt me the effect of my peticion and desire by the intercession prayer and request of the glorious virgin Marie thy mother and my Ladie and of all the Saintes of thy heauenly Cittie Amen A most deuoute Prayer demaunding Grace of God to praise him as wee ought CHAPT XXXVI O Christ our Lord the diuine worde of the Father whose comming into the worlde was to saue sinners I beseech thee by the bowels of thine infinite mercie amende my life make better mine actions compose my manners take from me whatsoeuer is hurtfull to me displeasinge to thee and giue me that which thou knowest is pleasinge to thee and profitable for me Who is there that can cleanse man from sinne conceiued in the same sauinge thou alone Thou arâ— God almighty of infinite mercy who iustifiest the wicked and raysest to life those that through sinne were deade who changest sinners from that which they were before vpholdinge them that they fall not any more Remoue from me therfore I beseeche thee whatsoeuer in me is displeasinge vnto thee Thy eies I knowe doe plainely see mine imperfections to be very manie Wherefore may it please thee to stretche forth towards me the hande of thy mercie and with the same remoue from me whatsoeuer is offensiue in me to the eies of thy diuine Maiestie My health o Lord and my sicknesse doe depende of thy power preserue I beseech thee the one and cure the other Cure me o Lord and I shal be cured saue me and I shal be saued thou art he that dost cure those thinges that are diseased keepinge them in health after they are healed thou art he that with the very becke and nod of thy heade dost repaire those thinges that are ruined and decayed For if it be thy pleasure to sowe in my hart the good seedâ— of vertues it is necessarie that first with the hande of thy pittie thou pluck vp the thornes of mine iniquities Most sweete benigne louinge deare desired beloued and most beautifull Lord powre into my harte I most hartlie beseeche thee the aboundance of thy sweetnes and charitie that I may neither desire nor as much as thinke vppon any worldly or carnall delectation but may loue thee alone hauinge thee onely in my mouthe and in my affection Write in my breaste with thy finger the sweete remeÌ„brance of thy hony sweete name by noe forgetfulnes euer to be blotted out of the same Write in the tables of my harte thy most holy will and thy iustifications that alwaies and in all places I may haue thee and thy preceptes before mine eieâ— who art a Lord of infinite sweetnes Inflame my minde with that sacred fire of thine which thou haâ—t sent into the world and dost greatlye desire that it should be kindled to the end that with teares I may daylie offer vnto thee the sacrifice of a humble and contrite harte O sweete Christ and louinge Iesu giue me as I desire as I desire with my whole hart giue
that seeing there thy glorious admirable and most fâ—ire face replenished with all sweetnes I may together with that elected companie fall prostrate and adore thy Maiestie and being at length filled with the celestiall and vnspeakeable ioy of that eternall delectation I may with those that loue thee cry out saying Beholde I nowe see what I coueted I nowe enioy that for which I hoped I nowe haue that which I desired because I am nowe ioyned to him in heauen whom whilst I liued on earth with my whole strength I loued with my whole loue I affected and to whom with my whole affection I was vnited him doe I praise blesse and adore who liueth and raigneth God both nowe and euer more Amen A Prayer to be saied in time of tribulation CHAPT XXXVIII TAke pittieâ—o Lord take pittie o mercifull Sauiour of me a most miserable sinner doing thinges worthie of blame and worthilie suffering for the same being by thee dailie afflicted for that continuallie I am founde to haue offended If I ponder the euill which I daylie commit that which I endure is nothing in comparison of it that which I haue donne being much more greiuous then mine affliction Thou art iust o Lord and right is thy iudgmentâ— all thy iudgementâ— are iuste and true Thou o Lord our God arâ— iust and full of goodnes neither is there in thee anie wickednesâ— because when we offende thou dost not vniustlie and cruellie afflict vs who when we were not hast powerfullie made vs and when for our sinne we were guiltie of damnation thou hast by thy wonderfull mercie and goodnesse set vs in state of saluation I knowe o Lord God and am assured that our life is not gouerned by the vnaduised influence and concurrence of secondarie causes but is wholie disposed and ordered by thy almightie prouidence Thou therfore takest care of all thinges but especiallie of such as serue thee who putt theire whole confidence in thy onelie mercie Wherefore I humblie pray and beseeche thee that thou wilt not deale with me according to mine iniquities by which I haue deserued thine anger but according to thy manifold mercies which surmounte the sinnes of the whole world together Thou o Lord who dost punishe me outwardlie giue me alwaies an inuincible patience inwardlie to the end I may neuer cease to praise thee Take pittie of me o Lord take pittie of me and helpe me like as thou knowest to be expedient for me both in soulâ— and bodie thou I say who knowest all thinges and art able to doe all thinges whatsoeuer who liueth and raigneth for euer and euer Amen A verie deuoute Prayer to God the Sonne CHAPT XXXIX O Lord Iesu Christ the sonne of the living God who with thy handes stretched forth on the Crosse hast drunke the cupp of thy passion for the redemption of all mankinde succouâ—e me this day I beseeche thee Beholde o Lord I that am needie doe come to thee that art wealthie I that am full of miserie doe approache to thee replenished with mercie suffer mâ— not therfore to departe voide or as one worthie to be despised I beginne hungrie let me not end emptie I approache as one hunger-starued let me not departe vnfed And if I sighe before I eate graunt that I may eate at least after I haue sighed First therforâ— most sweete Iesu before the magnificence of thy sweetnes I confesse against me myne iniustice Beholde o Lord for that I was conceiued and borne in sinne and thou hast washed and sanctified me from the same and 〈◊〉 this haue defiled my selfe with greater offences because those sinnes wherin I was borne were of necessitie but those in which I afterwardes lay wallowing were voluntarie This notwithstanding thou being not vnmindfull of thy mercie and goodnes hast drawne me from my fathers house and from the tabernacles of sinner inspiring me with thy grace to followe thee in the companie of those that seeke thy face who walk the direct way that leadeth to felicâ—tie liuinge amiddst the 〈◊〉 of chaâ—itie and sitting at table with thee in the parloure of most profounde pouertie But I ingratefull and forgetfull of soe many benefits receiued haue after my entrance into Religion committed many sinnes and abominations and where I ought to haue corrected my faultes by doing satisfaction there haue I added sinne vpon sinne These therfore o Lord are the faultes by which I haue dishonoured thee and defiled my selfe who thou hast created according to thine owne image similitude to wit pride vaine glorie and many other sinnes almost infinite by which my vnhappy soule is troubled and afflicted rent and destroyed Beholde o Lord mine iniquities haue ouerwhelmed mine heade being vnto me as a greiuous burden vnsupportable to be endured in soe much that if thou whose propertie is to pardonne and to shewe mercie doe not lift me vp with the right hande of thy maiestie I shall woefullie sinke downe into the gulfe of eternall miserie Beholde o Lord God see because thou art holy beholde I say how my ghostlie ennimie doth insulte ouer me saying God hath forsaken him I will pursue and take him because there is none that can deliuer him Howe longe o Lord wilt thou thus leaue me Tuâ—ne backe and deliuer my soule o sauâ— me for thy mercies sake Take pittie of me thy sonne whom thou hast begotten in the greate greife of thy passion and doe not soe attende to my wickednes that thou forgett thy goodnes What Father is there who seeing his sonne in danger doth not endeuoure to sett him free or what sonne is there whom his Father doth refuse to correct with the staffe of his pittie Wherefore o Lord and Father albeit I am a sinner yet I doe not cease to be thy sonne because thou hast made me and newe made me againe like as I haue sinned soe correct and amend me and being by the staffe of thy fatherlie pittie corrected and amended commit me to the care and custodie of thy onely begotten sonne Iesus Christ our Lord. Is it possible for a woman to forget the childe of her owne wombe And albeit shee shoulde forget it yet thou o most louinge Father hast promised not to forget the same Beholde I cry and thou dost not heare me I am afflicted with greife and thou dost not comfort me What shall I say or doe being in this extreame miserie Alas I am altogether comfortles and which is worse am chased forth of thy presence Wretche that I am from howe greate good into howe greate euill am I fallen Whither did I attempt to goe and whither am I come Where am I and where am I not howe is it that I that did sighe after heauen doe nowe sighe through soe great tribulation I haue sought comforte and haue founde affliction And truly it is better for me not to be then to be without thee o sweete Iesu It is better not to liue then to liue without thee the onely true life Where are
thy selfe in that thou hast vouchsafed to die for me Thou hast therfore in this maruailous manner and with soe deare a price recalled me from banishement redeemed me froÌ„ seruitude deliuered me from punishment named me after thine owne name signed me with thine owne blood to the end I might alwaies carrie about me a memoriall of thee neuer suffering it to departe from my harte who to redeeme me didst not departe from the crosse With the same sacred oyle with which thou wert annointed thou hast annointed me in baptisme to the end that from thy name Christ I might be called a Christian Beholde thou hast written me in thy handes that thou maiest still be mindfull of me yet with this prouiso that I be likewise still mindfull of thee Thus therefore and after an vnspeakeable manner hath thy grace and mercy alwaies preuented me Thou hast likewise o my deliuerer deliuered me many times from many and maruelous mighty dangers When I haue gone out of the way thou hast directed me when I haue been ignorant thou hast instructed me when I haue sinned thou hast corrected me when I haue been sorrowfull thou hast gladded me when I haue been in despaire thou hast coÌ„forted me when I haue fallen thou hast raysed me when I haue stoode thou hast vpheld me when I haue trauailed thou hast conducted me when I haue arriued thou hast entertained me when I haue slept thou hast guarded me when I haue called thou hast hearde me How God doth continuallie looke into the actions and intentions of men CHAPT XIV THese and many other benefits thou hast bestowed vpon me o God the life of my soule of which to speake thinke thanke thee it ought at all times to be a thinge sweete and pleasing vnto me to the end that with all my harte and with all my soule and with all my minde and with all my strength and with all the powers of my soule and bodie I might alwaieâ— raise and loue thee for all the benefitâ— which I haue receiued from thee o Lord my God who art the blessed sweetnes of those that delight in thee How be it thy eies doe see the manyfolde imperfections that are in me Thy eies I say are more shining theÌ„ the sunne seeing on euerie side all the wayes of men yea penetratinge the bottome of the bottomelesse depthe soe that in all places and perpetuallie they doe beholde those that liue well those that liue wickedly For fithence thou dost gouerne all thinges filling eache one of them being at all times and in all places wholie present taking care likewise of all thinges which thou hast created because thou dost hate none of those thinges which thou hast framed thou dost consider all my footestepps and paths soe narrowelie watching night and day ouer my custodie marking all my waies soe diligently and looking vppon me perpetuallie euen as if thou were forgetfull of all other creatures contained in heauen or earth and hadst care of noe other sauing of me onely Thy eie sight likewise is neither augmented by looking vppon one thinge onely it being immutable neither is it diminished by beholding diuerse thinges and innumerable Because thou dost see many thinges at once albeit differâ—â—â— one from an other as plainely and peâ—â—ectly as if thou didst looke but vppon one onelie Thou therfore dost beholde all thinges at once after the same manner as if thou didst beholde but one onely and all thinges seuerallie as if they were but one onely that is without diuision variation or diminishing Whence it followeth that thou being alwaies one at all times dost without time beholde me wholy at once and continuallie euen as if thou hadst no other thing to thinke vppon guarding and protecting me in that manner as if thou were mindfull of me onely and forgetfull of al others Because thou art alwaies present and ready to come vnto me as often as I am ready to entertaine thee Whither soeuer I goe thou o Lord dost not forsake me vnlesse I first forsake thee and whersoeuer I am thou art there with me because thou art euery where to the end that whither soeuer I goe I might finde thee by whom I am preserued in my being least I should perishe without thee for that without â—hee I should presently returne to nothing Veriâ—ie I confesse that what thinge or thinges soeuer I vndertake to doe I am to doe it in thy sight and that which I vndertake to doe whatsoeuer it be thou dost beholde more plainelie then I which am to doe it because thou art present with me at the doing of euerie thinge continuallie marking all my thoughtes intentions delightes and actions The desires and imaginations of my minde whatsoeuer they be are at al times knowen and apparant vnto thee Thou o Lord knowest from whence the spirit or soule of man proceedeth where it abideth and whither it goeth for that thou art he that doth searche into the soules of all men who knowest best being the internall iudge whether the roote that bringeth for the faire leaues be sweete or or sower looking likewise narrowlie into the verie pithe or harte of the roote neither dost thou looke into the intention onely but goest further and by the infallible truth of thy light dost gather nomber see and seeke out the innermost pithe of the roote thereof to the end thou maiest render to euerie man not onely according to his workes and intention but alsoe according to the internall harte of the roote which is hidden from wheÌ„ce the intention of him that worketh hath his beginninge Thou o Lord dost beholde thy eares doe heare and thy eies doe see and consider what mine intention is when I vndertake any thinge whatsoeuer I haue in my imagination and in whatsoeuer I doe take delectation thou I say dost marke consider note write the same in thy booke be it good or euill that at the day of iudgement when these thy bookes shal be opened and men are to be iudged according to the thinges in them conâ—ained that which is good may by thee be rewarded and that which is euill punished This is that peraduenture whereof thou hast forewarned vs saying I will coÌ„sider the thinges that lastly wil happen vnto them And that likewise o Lord which is written of thee He considereth the end of euerie man for that in all our doinges thou dost more narrowely marke the end and scope of the intention for which they are donne then the meere act of him that doth them Now when I ponder this diligently in my minde o Lord my God who art terrible to beholde and of inuincible fortitude I cannot but be maruailouslie affraied and ashamed considering the great necessitie we haue to liue iustly and vp rightly we being to doe all our actions in the sight of him that is to be our iudge who seeth all thinges apparentlie That man without the asistance of Gods grace is able to doe nothing of himselfe CHAPT XV. O God most
immortall are by this meanes made immortal and incorruptible accordinge as our Lord and Sauiour hath promised saying O Father my will and desire is that those which thou hast giuen me may be present with me where I am to the end they may see my glorie that all may be one that as thou o Father art in me and I in thee euen soe they may be one in vs. Of the kingdome of heauen CHAPT VIII THe kingedome of heauen is a most happy kingdome free from death voide of end where time without succession of ages is still the same where one continuall day without interchaunge of night knoweth neither time past nor to come where the valiant souldier after many trauailes sustained and victorie obtained is with vnspeakeable guifts rewarded a crowne of endles blisse being set vpon his heade O would to God the multitude of my sinnes being forgiuen me it might please his diuine bounty to bidd me of al Christs seruants the most vnworthie to lay aside the burden of this my incorruptible body to the end I might enter into the endles ioyes of his heauenly citty there to finde rest for all eternitie that I might be placed to singe amongst the most sacred quires of those celestiall citizens that with those most blessed spirits I might helpe to sound forthe the praises of my maker and might in presence beholde the face of my God and Sauiour that I might be exemp◠from all feare of deathe and worldly miserie and might securelie reioyce through the incorruption of perpetuall immortalitie that I might be free from all blindnes of ignorance being vnited vnto him that knoweth all thinges I should little esteeme all thinges transitorie and shoulde scarce vouchsafe to cast mine eie or to thinke vpon this vale of teares any more where our life is subiect to affliction subiect to corruption where our life is replenished with al manner of bitternes being the mistres of miscreants and handmaide vnto hell it selfe whom humors puffe vp whom paines pull downe whom heates doe pearche whom the ayre maketh sicke whom feasting maketh fatt and fastinge maketh leane whom delightes make dissolute whom sorrowes doe consume whom pensiuenes doth oppresse whom security maketh dull whom riches lift vp and make stately whom pouertie doth abase and make lowly whom youth maketh to be magnified olde age to be crooked whom sicknes weakeneth and sadnes afflicteth Where the diuell lieth in waite to deceiue vs the worlde flattereth vs where the fleshe is delighted the soule is blinded and man on euery side is troubled and disquieted And close as it were at the heeles of all these euills doth furious deathe come after closinge vp the end of the delightes of this miserable life in that fashion as that being ended they are as if they had neuer beene begunne How God visiteth and comforteth that soule which with sighes and teares lamenteth his absence CHAP. IX Bvt what praises or thanks-giuing are we able o God to rendre vnto thee who ceasest not to comfort vs with the wonderfull visitation of thy grace euen amidst the manifold miseries of this our mortalitie For beholde whiles I feare what my end will be whiles I enter into consideration of my sinnes and iniquities whiles I am affrayed of thy iudgements whiles I thinke of the hower of my death whiles I shiuer and shake throughe the horrour of hell being ignorant how strictlie and seuerely my actions wil be examined by thee as alsoe not knowing what the end of them wil be Whiles with my selfe I say I consider secretly in my harte these and many other such like thinges thou o Lord my God accordinge to thy wonted goodnes dost come and comforte me poore wretche beinge wholy ouerwhelmed with heauines lifting vp my sad and sorrowfull soule amidst my manifolde wailinges and weepinges and profound sighes and lamentations aboue the highe toppes of the hilles euen vnto the bedds of sweete and fiagrant spices placing me in a place of pasture neere vnto the little brookes of sweete and pleasant waters preparing there in my presence a sumptuous banquet abounding with all varieties which may refresh my wearied spirit and make glad my sorrowfull harte At length being made stronge againe by these dainties and delicacies I growe to forget my manifold miseries for that I repose in thee the true peace being eleuated aboue all earthlie highnes Of the sweetnes of diuine loue CHAPT X. I Doe loue thee o my God I doe loue thee and doe desire to loue thee more and more Graunt me grace o Lord my God who in beauty dost surpasse the children of men that I may desire and loue thee according to the greatnes of mine affection and according to the greatnes of mine obligatiō Thou art infinite o Lord and therfore art infinitely to be loued especiallie of vs whom thou hast soe wonderfullie respected and saued for whom thou hast donne soe great thinges and such as are worthie to be admired O loue which dost alwaies burne and art neuer extinguished o sweete Christ o good Iesu my charitie and my God enflame me wholy with thy fire with the loue of thee with thy sweetnes with the delight and desire of thee with thy charitie with thy mirthe and gladnes with thy mercy and gentlenes with thy pleasure and affection which is holy good chast and cleane to the end that beinge wholy replenished with the sweetnes of thy loue being wholy made hotte with the flame of thy charitie I may loue the◠my Lord of surpassing great sweetnes and beauty with all my harte with all my soule with all my strength and with all mine intention with much cordiall contrition with many teares of deuotion with much reuerence and trembling hauing thee in my harte and in my mouth and before mine eies alwaies and euery where soe that noe place may be founde in me for the false loue of any creature Of the preparation of our Redemption CHAPT XI I Beseech thee most faire Iesu by that most sacred sheddinge of thy pretious bloude with which we are redeemed giue me contrition of harte and a fountaine of teares especiallie whiles I offer vnto thee praiers and petitions whiles I sing Psalmes of praise and thanks-giuing as often as I call to minde or speake of the mistery of our redemption being an euident token of thy infinite mercy and compassion As often as I stande at thy holie altar albeit vnworthy of soe greate an honoure desiring to offer vnto thee that wonderfull and celestiall sacrifice and oblation worthy of all reuerence and deuotion which thou o Lord my God the immaculate Priest hast instituted and appointed to be offered in remembrance of thy charitie that is of the deathe and passion which thou hast suffered for our deliuerie and for the dayly reparation of ou◠fragilitie Confirme my minde with the sweetnes of thy presence during the time of soe greate mysteries let it feele thy assistance and be filled with gladnes O fire which dost alwaies