and saw the Animal that was provided for him he concluded with himself that it had in earnest been Compounded of his Black Mare and Denis's White Nagg Noow be shaint Bartelemew's Butcharing Knife deare Joy Says Mac Clan to the Farrier let mee shinke up to de Earesh in de necksht boog be Creesht but dee art shartainly de mann of de mosht Confounded Shiensh in de Vorld in fait for dere ish de shame Colloursh be Creesht de very shame Coomplackshion ash me maure vash and de same vite bairsh ash vas upon Dennish's Horshe be de Mass it ish like boat one of de too But Y vill mauke a leetle shpeaking upon dee deare Joy What ish de reashon daat dish horshe ish shoe leetle aund be me should indede dee hasht put too Horshes into hish body Y should mauke Expectashionsh dat de too Horshes should mauke one tall Shtrong and lushty Gualding indede You must consider this is but a Colt yet being not three weeks since it was made but when it is full growne it will be a mighty Beash indeed D sht dee beare daat Dennish quoth Mac to his Man be Creesht it ish a Colt he shay aund it vill be a veery grate Horshe van he be grown op to Mansh Eshtate Be Chreesht dish be the verey Larned Man in fait Deevil tauke me deare Joy Y will mauke publicaashion of dy great shkill in every plaush indede In fine they came to agreement what the Farrier was to have for making up the two lame Horses into one Mac pay'd him his demands put one of the Sadles upon Pye and Mac gat upon the outside of him the other Sadle was girt on upon Dennis who followed his Master on foot They parted from the Farrier not without great suspicion of his being a Conjurer Dennis was once under some fear when the Saddle was fastned to his back Least the Man of Art should have converted him to a Horse too They had not travail'd farr before Dennis perceived his Masters Horse to be lame of all four and upon that Ocasion address'd himself to him after this sort Noow de Deevill tauke dee deare Joy de two Horshes daat was maake up into dish Cattle vash laume but upon too shidesh indede but in fait dish Gualding ish lame upon all de forwre footsh La shee shee vat a damn fool dou art replayed Mac aund be Creesht did not de Larned man Shay it wash a Colt and deevill tauke me hish footsh vill be tandar dish great vile till hish nailesht be grow hard and strong indede Many more Observations were made upon their Miraculous Beast and some say Mac was upon mauking Petishion to mauke show of his Twin-Barb at the Bell Shavage 10 Pautrick had been in the Warrs in Germany and after his return sitting in Company with some of his brother Brogues he was vanting what dangers he had gon through what exploits he had don and amongst the rest that he had cut off one of the Enemies Legs Be Creesht Pautrick says one of them dee shoudsht have dishcharged dee Paike at him annd hauve Cutt hish heed off from hish body Noow de Deevill tauke me replyed be daat ish veery true indede but be de Maush deare Joy Y caume too laute for daat indede for be me shalwashion hish heed vash tauken avay before indede now 11. One of deare-Joy-Land had a Son that served a Gentleman here in quality of his Foot-man after he had been in England for some time his Friends upon some Occasion writ over for a Testimonial whether he was alive or not upon Consulting his Acquaintance about the matter they advised him to get a Scrivener to draw it and get it signed by the hands of the most Credible Countrey men that were known to his Relations This being all done accordingly he was told he might send it by Post to Chester and after the Pacquet Boat would take Care of it One night his Master sent him to the Post house with Letters and he had some Inclination to have put in his Certificate but fearing the Pacquet Boat might miscarry he resolved to carry it himself His Master saw him no more in six weeks at length he appears again and being asked what had occasion'd him to absent himself so long he made answer to this purpose Be Creesht me Relaushionsh deed mauke shand a Leetre daat Y musht shend dem a Shartificate daat Y wash alive Y haad geet a skrivishner to mauke vrite upon de Pauper for me aund it vash shined be me Friendsh here indede but upon feare daat de Pacquat Boat should miscary be Creesht Y did mauke goe and carry eet me shelfe indede daat van day shee de Shartificatsh dey maight tinke it vash meen awn shelfe daat vash alive indede 12 Teague having been Obliged to wait upon his Master to Edingbourgh where he continued for some time at his returne to London fell in Company of some of his old Aquaintance how doest thou like that Country Teague sayes one of them Y will tall dee be Creesht replyed he Y vash Sheeke all de time Y vash dare indede And be shaint Pautrick if Y haud Leeved daure 'till dish time be de Maush de Deevill tauke me indede but Y shou'ed hauve been deed noow for Sheaven Yearsh agoe deare Joy upon me fait it ish true indede 13 A certain Lord having a Nimble Bog-Trotter to his servant which use to travell with him when he rode and wou'd make as quick speed as his Horse let him ride never so hard This Nobleman having occasion to send his servant to a Gentleman of his acquaintance who lived about a dozen Miles from him he call'd his Man to him over Night and said Teague for so the fellow was named I must send you to morrow very early in the morning to Mr .... pray remember to which Teague reply'd au my shaul Joy I saul remember very well In the morning Teague rose very Early and away he trots to this Gentlemans house leaving his Master as supposed a sleep and being come Teague knosked at the Door and was let in Who presently ask'd for the Gentleman he Master of the House to which the Servant answered he was not stirring Teague said be Chreesht I must speake with him I did come from the Lord ... my Master The Servant went acquainted his Master thereof thinking it had been some Urgent affair that Teague should come 12. miles so soon in the morning Whereupon his Mr. having a great respect for the Lord and believing it business of Moment ordered Teague to come up to his Chamber And the Gentleman said how now Teague what news doe you bring from My Lord your Mr. that you are here to Early to which Teague answered be Chrest I cano tell how does my Lord quoth the Gent. Indeed very well said Teague what is your Errant or
O me shoul does mauke me very shick quoth the Master how can that make you sick Yesh indede quoth Mac for be Chreest de stink of de Fart dos get into me Noshe shomtime into me Moutsh and it goes doon into me Bally and dos mauke me full of de Gripe of de Gut on me shalwashion it ish true and Y tauke me Snush and be Chreest it all shmel of Fart so his Master promised to remedy the matter for him 20. another Son of Teagueland drinking Braudy with his Comrade said to the other Dear Joy we musht not drink too mush Braundy it vill mauke ush sleep and den we shall be deed ash me Friend wash de oder day says the other to him How dead I prethee how dost thou mean the other replies be Chreest Y bad a dear Friand did drink so mush Brandy he did fall a sleep and be Chreest when he awaked be was deed yesh indede 21. A certain Nobleman having a Servant of Teagueland whom he loved very well and woud intrust him with his Plate and made him his Butler this Fellow continued honest a while and having occasion to drink with one of his Country men wanted Money to entertain him abroad having thought on several ways to get some those did not please him at last he took one of his Masters Dishes which was Silver as his Lord us'd nothing else and did find out a way to cut out his Master's Coat of Arms from the Plate and threw the rest down the Vault because it should not be seen to accuse him of his Theft when he had so done he and his Friend went to the Ale-house and having plentifully liquor'd themselves The aforesaid Butler call'd to the people to change his money and gave this piece to them which was about the bigness of half a Crown the people resns'd it and said it was none of the Kings Coyn Be me Shoul said Mac. it ish a vary guod haulf Croon and Y vill go and chaunge it so being near his Lords house he went home and showed it to one of my Lords Gentlemen and said Dear Joy pradee geeve me two shallings aund sixe pance for thish haulf Croown the Gentleman answered how Sirrah this is my Lord Dukes Coat of Arms Po po po po joy O me Shoul dere ish de King on horsheback It ish a very good haulf Croon but the Lord Duke being acquainted of the passage examined Mac where he had ht be me Shoul said his Servant Thou didsht put haulf Croons upon dy Plate and Y had occashion for to mauke use of one with me Countryman and Y did tauke it from dy Plate The Lord said you Rogue where is the rest of the Plate Po po Joy be Chreest dere ish no more baulf Croons upon it it ish good for noting O me shoul Y did fling de resht in de house of Office O Villain said the Nobleman do you use these rogueries I thought you very honest O me shoul dear Joy be not aungry says the Teaguelander here ish dy hauf Croon and Y vill fetch dee de resht of dy Plate if dou cansht mauke more baulf Croons upon it 22. A certain Nobleman having one of these Macks to his Servant sent him to his Drugster for some Sarsaparilla for his Lord did boil it with some other Ingredients and drink it and as some drink Tea The Servant went to the Drugsters and said my Master must have some saucy Fellow from this Shop the Master of the Shop examined his Men who of them had affronted my Lord that he should send in this manner but his Servants denied that they ever gave occasion to my Lord to be angry Whereupon the master going along with the Lords Servant to beg parpon or excuse if any thing had disliked his Lordship and as soon as his Man returned the Lord asked him for the Sarsaparilla the Servant replyed here is de Master of the Shop Y have brought him wid me You Rogue quoth the Gentleman I bid you bring some Sarsaparilla be Chreest says the Servant dere is no saucy Fellow dere At which both Lord and the Drugster laughed heartily at the Ignorance of the Fellow the Master returned home and sent the Sarsaparilla by his Man 23. Another Virtuoso of Teagueland being invited to a Venison Pasty after he had fed very well and satisfied himself he came among his Friends and Country-men in the Evening and as they were drinking one begun to talk what a rare Dinner he had this day and another told his Entertainment At last the Virtuoso that had din'd with the Pasty said Be Chreest Y did dine with a Venison Pasty it is true but O my shoul when it was first cut up dere did come such an Echo from it was ready to strike me down some Moderns call it a Hogo 24. Two certain Teaguelanders consulted together how they might raise their Fortunes and to get Money one of them had observed some body burning of Gold and Silver Lace and did intend to make a trial of them upon Guilded Leather so he imparted this to his Comrade Dear Joy says he you must assist me dere is in such a plauce a room with Guilt Leather we vill cut away the Guilt Leather and burn it and in faith we vill be marry with de Money we mauke of it They both put their resolution in practise and did spoil a whole Room of that Furniture and went away with it to have it burn'd so they us'd an Alehouse near their Masters house where they call'd for a Faggot and burnt it and did put the Guilt Leather in the fire having drunk a Pot or two by that time the Fire and Leather was consumed so they got a Broom and swept up Ashes and all together and then searched for the Gold that should come from the Leather at last both of them being impatient having raked a pretty while and could find nothing the one said to the other be Chreest Y cano find de Gold thou hast stole the Gold Says the other O me shoul dou art a lying Rogue dou hasht rob'd me of me part and shtole it away At these words they were hot at it that at last with the Noise and fury of these Teaguelanders the Master came to part them and enquire into the matter and found they had been burning of Guilded Leather to get the Gold from it so he discovered from whence they stole it and the poor Teaguelanders had the gentle Lash for it 25 A certain Teaguelander being upon his Journey in his way chanced to light upon a small Pig sayes he to the Pig little Pig will you come and stay with me a Moneth the Pig did say a week a week a week a week four times then be Chrest sayes Mac that is a Moneth for four Weekes mauke a month but poor Teague was taken for stealing the Pig and carryed before a justice and Mac did say Mr. Justice o my shalvation the Pig did
business with me Teague quoth the Gent. Quoth Teague be Chrest St. Patrick I cannot tell My Lord did call me to him over night and said I must come to thee this morning yes indeed he did charge me to remember it and be Chrest thou canst witness I have not forgat it for thou seest I am here with thee quoth the Gent. is this all quoth Teague au my shaul I doe not know any more and so I will goe home Dear Joy to my Master and tell him I did remember to come to thee quoth the Gentleman now I think on 't Teague you must stay a little while I have something to send to your Master which you come for be Chreesh quoth Teague I cano tell Then the Gentleman began to think how he should be reveng'd of this Rogue that had thus disturb'd him to no purpose at length he Considered he had an ugly stone Morter which he did not value which Mortar he gave Teague and told him he came for that Mortar and that his Master had sent him purposely for it The Mortar weighed about 80 l. which Teague gott upon his Back and took his leave of the Gentleman many a face and many a Curse he did make at the Mortar for it did hurt his back and shoulders and almost grippled poor Teague but he was bound to endure it with Patience having brought it home he had some help to get it off his back And the rest of his Servants asked him where he had been for his Lord miss'd him To which he was Dumb and would not answer any thing for a long while at last My Lord being at a Bouling Green near sent to see for Teague and to command him to come to him who came to the Green to My Lord said the Lord to Teague ye plaguy Rogue where have you been all this day Teague made ugly faces and points to his back an shoulders being sore and gauld by the stone ortar andas often as My Lord ask'd him where he had been My Lord received no other answer but wretched wry faces and pointing to his Shoulders back till at length my Lord grew a little angry Sirra said he tell me where you have been the meaning of your Pointings and wry Mouth or else I will Cudgell your bones Then Teague answered didst thou not say I must goe to Mr .... this morning and be Chrest I have been with him you dam'd Rogue said My Lord I told you over night you should goe to him in the morning but you should have come to me and taken my Errant along with you A plague take thee and they Errant to I did bring they Errant upon my back be Chreest till I did bruise my shoulders and au my shoul I shal goe no more of thy Errants nay Teague quoth my Lord doe not say so what is it you brought from the Gentleman be Chrest thou may'st see it if thou wilt goe home no Teague said the Lord being willing that some Gentlemen shoud share in the mirth that this fellow was like to make among them goe you home and fetch this Errant that has so mortifyed your shoulder and let me see it Teague goes home and takes up the Morter and brings it to his Master upon the Green and throwes it down there at which they all laughed heartily that this fellow should be so sordid as to goe to the Gentleman without his Errant and commended the Gentlemans Ingenuity to punish the fool with such a burthen To be short his Master and the Company having had sport enough with his sowr faces his pointings and his Errant his Master bid him carry the Mortar home but withall to goe to the Gentleman again and fetch the Pestell to the Morter he having forgot it 14. Among the Serwants of a Certain Nobleman were a Teaguelander and a French man and these two did sometimes jarr sometimes were mighty loving It hapned at a certain time that these two Sparks were in a hott dispute about their Country and their Saints And de French man did sputter much in Praise of his Country and of St. Dennis who was Saint for France saying that no Saint in all the World could compare to St. Dennis po po po po po po Jay war what St. Dennis says Teague quoth the French man St. Dennis was Saint for France and St. Dennis was murdered at Paris and his Head was cutt off and begar me tell you no lye when his Head have been Cutt off St. Dennis did ketch up his Head in his hands and he did carry it two leagues after it was cut off in his hands and there he did faint and fall down so he was buryed in that Place and there is a Chappell built and called by the Name of St. Dennis to this day and all the Kings of France will be Crown'd there the Teaguelander did burst into laughter and did say be Chreest my Joy thou doest make a great Prate of thy St. Dennis but upon my Shalvation St. Patrick was far beyond him St. Patrick auoth the French man What was St Patrick Po po po be Christ says the Irish man doest thou not know St. Patrick no begar said the French man me did never hear of an Irish Saint no quoth Teague be Chrest I shau break thy Pate for thee what dost thou say there be no Teagueland Saint these words caused some blows but they were quickly parted and the French man was judged to be in the wrong because he gave affront to the Teague lander in Contradicting him so he did ask the Bog Trotter pardon and desired him to goe on upon his story Then said the Bog Trotter St. Patrick was Saint for Ireland and be was murdered at Dublin in Ireland and his Flead was Curt off But the Holy Saint did take his Head up and did make to the Sea side resolving not to stay in that Country where they had so serv'd him and coming to the sea side he did fling himself into the Sea and be did swin indeed threescore Leagues and then he did come on shoat and was o faint that be dyed and be was buryed and the Place is called Holy Head to this day Quoth the French man how did he swim upon his back quoth the Irish man no be Chrest he did swim upon his Belly and did strike out his hands as I doe now he striking out his hands in imitation where says the French man did he carry his head then Po po po po Joy why be Chrest he did carry it in his Mouth betwixt his Teeth and indeed and upon my Shalvation it is true 15 A certain Teague call'd Comines begging of some Gentleman some Charity one of the Gentleman said to him Comines why dost not thou get some preferment amongst thy Country-men you see the King is very kind to your Country-men and gives them Places and makes some Officers in he Army why dont you put forward and
promise to live with me a Moneth but if the Man will have him sooner here is the Pig for him 26 Another of the same Country hapned to the service of a very honest Gentleman who was much pleas'd with his Servants tallk but his Master one time sent him to receive forty pounds and to bring it to him to such a place if he should not be at home Now Mac had been very just and faithfull in severall Services his Master had employ'd him in many times before and his Master did not doubt him in this affair however Mac goes according to his Masters order and receives the forty pounds poor Mac never saw the like before and having the money resolv'd to run away with it to his own Country But withall he went home first to take some of his linen and other things with him which he was not willing to leave behind little thinking to meet his Master there when poor Mac came in to the house the first he met with was his Master says his Master how now Mac hast thou received the Mony I sent thee for At which being surprized Mac could not presently answer sayes his Master why dont you tell me Sirra whether you have received the mony Quoth Mac the Devill tauke thee and thy money too quoth the Master why so angry Mac quoth Mac A Plague tauke dee aund they money too Y say and there is they money and the Devill tauke it prethee why so angry says the Master sayes Mac. be Chreest when Y had received they money the Decvill did tempt me to run away with it yesh indeed but my Conscience came behind me and fetch'd me back again and so the Devill tanke thee and thy money to Why Mac where would you have run with it quoth Mac O my shoul into mine own Country in Mackland then quoth the Master I should have fallow'd you thither and put you in Prison Po po po po Joy be Chreest if thou hadst come there thou shouldst have been my Man there 27. One Barnewell of Dunbrough in Teagueland being a young Man and his Father having a very handsom Maid Servant in his House the Son had a great mind to lye with her and upon a certain time when he went to the Priest to Confession amongst the rest of his Sins did Confess to his Father Fryer that he longed to lye with the Maid but he never did attempt it The Priest told him it was a great Sin nevertheless for said the Priest thou hast committed fornication in they heart because thou didst lust after her and therefore thou must doe Pennance for this for it is an Abomination so the Priest enjoyn'd young Barnewell to go 30 miles to a certain Church and there to Pray and that he must goe and come back barefoot to Expiate his Crime To which poor Barnewell was forced to doe because he would not disoblige his own Father but he was so gall'd and lam'd and his feet so soar in the persormance thereof that he vow'd revenge upon the Priest And it fell out that upon a certain day a litle after his Penance as Barnwell was looking about and Plowing some Ground which his Father had gave him he spy'd the Priest Mare looking into an Oat feild of his but could not get to it so Barnewell called his Man and said to him doest thou not seerthe Priest Mare yonder looking into my Feild of Oats be Chreest the Maure does lust after my Oates and Y will mauke the Maure doe Pennance for it So Barnewell and his Man caught the Priests Mare and opened an old stinking Pidgeon-house door and put the Mare in The Priest the next day having occasion for his Mare could not find her and sent all about to enquire after his Mare but could hear no tidings this continued about 5 days the Priest then meeting with a Smith who as a Neighbour to Barnwell ask'd him concerning his Mare the Smith told him he did belive Barnewell had play'd a strick with the Mare because he vow'd said the Smith to be revenged upon you for making him doe Pennance Quoth the Priest I have search'd all about Barnewells House and Ground but I cannot find her quoth the Smith to the Priest Father have you searched the Pidgeon-house no be me shoul said the Priest then the Smith and the Priest searched the Pidgeon-house and there found the Mare almost starved and Chop-fall'n The Priest complained to Barnewells Father of his roguery at which the old Man began to reprove his Son and said thou great Rogue why doest thou doe such things to the Holy man his Son answered him on my shoul Father he did mauke me doe Pennance because Y did Confess to him I had a mind to lye with thy Maid and he did tell me I did lust after her tho I did not lye with her and by Chreest did mauke me go 30 miles harefoot and my feet are soar to this day and his Mare did lust after my Oates tho' he did not eat any therefore I thought the Mare should doe Pennance because be did look and lust aftn emy Corne 28. A great debate happened between a French Footman and an Irish Footman which of their Countries was most Fertill Quoth the Monsieur to the other we have such rich Grass in Brittany dat begar it vill grow over de Horse Legs in won Night begar And be Shaint Holly-Head replyed the other vee have shuch fruitful Groundsh in Yrelandt daat if dee mauke put in dy Horshe into de Field at Neet de caunst not mauke find dy Horshe in de Morning in fait 29. Will who was Footman to Sr. Henry meeting with Mac who was in the same quality with Esq F. Says Will how the pox didst thou come by that broken Face Mac hast thou been in the Wars or hath some Female scratcht thee No be Shaint Antonie replyed Mac Y vill tall dee indede I did go and mauke dehauch wid shum of me Countrymans aund whan Y did shee Y vash sho dronke daat Y cou'd not go nor shtand Y did run home ash fasht as Y cou'd drive indede and be de Mash Y did faul ashleep in de Shtreet by de vay aund did mauke great Breake upon me Faush wid de fall and de Vaatchmans did tauke me up and caury me home indede What in the Devil's name is all this says Will thou cou'dst not go nor stand and yet didst run home and yet fell dead drunk in the way and were carried home why faith Mac this is very astonishing 30. A Dear Joy that had waited on a Gentleman into Holland told some of his Comrades that the P. of O. lived at a very great and splendid rate for that Y hauve seen quoth he be Chreest tree or four shecond Courshes carried up to hish Tauble at vone Dinner in fait noow la. 31. Bryan having been sent in an Errant to a Gentlemans house in the Country fell deeply in Love with a