and impudent as to scoffe at those that solemnly prayse God at meales and pray for a blessing especially if their Grace bee a little longer than ordinary Doubtlesse this is an evident token of gracelesse men Neither is it any marvell though many use Gods creatures to surfetting and drunkennesse when they make no conscience to have them sanctified by prayer With ordinarie prayer in the familie wee must sometimes joyne singing of Psalmes The chiefe exercise of the Saints in heaven is said to be giving of thankes and singing praise unto God why then should this exercise on earth seeme tedious to any man that hopes to see God as he is in the heaven and beare a part in that celcstiall Queere Moreover besides ordinarie prayer everie day perhaps sometimes it shall be found requisite for the Master of the familie to call to extraordinarie prayer which is commonly joyned with fasting This may be done in a common or private calamity or when some extraordinarie blessing is requested as Nehem. 1. 4. Acts 10 30. Ester 4. 16. Now concerning this blessed service of prayer to be used dailie in everie familie me thinkes I should not neede to use motives considering that God doth so greatlie delight in it and the whole world is not worth this one prerogative of beleevers that they may at all times and in all places make their requests knowne unto the Almightie and aske anie thing of him in the name of Christ and have a promise to be heard If the Lord had commanded us everie day with great cost to offer unto him sacrifices morning and evening would we not doe it How much more when hee saith unto us onelie Aske and have The third part of holie service to be used in private families is wholesome Discipline This must not exceede the bounds A Master of a familie may proceede neither to excommunication nor execution of any of his familie never so wicked The course that Governours of severall houses may take is this First if their children or servants be unrulie they must tell them of their faults in the spirit of meeknesse Secondlie if they doe not amend they must rebuke them sharplie Thirdlie if that will not prevaile they must correct them Fourthlie if private admonition and correction will not bring them into order the Master must require the aide of the publike Magistrate As it is Deut. 21. 18. If a man have a stubborne and rebellious sonne which will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother and that when they have chastened him will not hearken unto them Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him and bring him out unto the Elders of his City and they shall say unto the Elders of his Citty This our sonne is stubborne and rebellious he will not obey our voice hee is a glutton and a drunkard And all the men of the City shall stone him with stones that he dye So shalt thou put evill away from among you and all Israell shall heare and feare Thus it should be But alas how hath foolish pittie thrust out wholesome housholde Discipline Fathers and Mothers are so farre from correcting and rebuking their unrulie children that they are angrie if anie neighbour speake unto them by way of admonition Therefore have we just cause to feare lest the Lord deale with us as he did with olde Ely because hee was too favourable to his lewd sonnes So also for evill servants what Master now adayes will take any paines by wholesome admonition and due correction to bring them into order Some Masters indeede behave themselves like lyons in their houses towards those that will not doe their worke according to their minde but if they will follow their businesse they regard not how lewd and wicked they be otherwise If they will not presenttly serve their turne they will not labour to make them better but turne them away And so it comes to passe that they which are filthie or lazie or ignorant remaine so still and the Land swarmes with a generation of deboshed servants so that t is hard to finde a faithfull servant and all for want of execution of wholesome Discipline in private families Thus much for the former dutie concerning God The second concernes ourselves For the better performing of this dutie note that there are three combinations or couplements in the familie First there are the husband and the wife Secondlie Parents and children Thirdlie Master and servants That a familie may be well-ordered it is requisite that these three couplements which stand in relation each to other doe keepe their ranke The dutie of the husband is that hee dwell with his wife as a man of understanding giving honour unto her as the weaker vessell and loving her as his owne flesh and be not bitter unto her The Wifes dutie is to submit her selfe unto her husband and to doe him good and not evill all the dayes of her life The dutie of Parents is to bring up their children in the knowledge of Gods will and in some lawfull calling wherein they may further the Common-weale The dutie of Children is to obey their Parents The dutie of Masters is to provide for their servants foode and raiment and sufficient imployment they must also take order that they may be instructed and if neede be corrected The dutie of Servants is to honour their Masters though they be but meane men and to obey them with feare and trembling not answering againe but doing service to them in singlenesse of heart as unto Christ. All these points are so plainly set down in the holy Scriptures that they need not explanation but execution And where any of these couplements keepe not their ranke or neglect the forenamed duties the familie cannot be well ordered Wherefore as we love order and reverence the God of order let us set our selves from this day forward every one of us to keepe his owne order that so every severall familie being well ordered the whole Common-wealth may come into good order and consequently that God may be moved to remove from us his judgements of plague famine and unseasonable weather which our manifold disorders have brought upon us There is none of us but now and then cries out upon the disorder in the Land and prayes for reformation But assuredly in vaine doe wee looke for publike reformation unlesse wee will every one reforme our owne families As long then as we live disorderly our selves or keepe any disordered person in our houses whether sonne or daughter man-servant or maid-servant yea or any kinseman or stranger wee are enemies to our owne desires and which is more adversaries to the Common-weale Which imputation if wee doe justly abhorre then let us with all our might endeavour every one of us from the highest to the lowest according to the holie commandement of the Lord of Lords to set our houses in order Deo Patri Filio et Spiritui sancto sit omnis laus honor gloria in aeternum AMEN FINIS
Hee knew and acknowledged it was his dutie to looke to the well ordering of his whole family though they were many in number From Joshua I descend to David whose behaviour touching the well ordering of his house ye may see Psal. 101. 2. There he professeth to God that he will behave himselfe wisely I will walke within my house with a perfect heart saith he Mine eyes shall be upon the faithfull of the Land that they may dwell with me He that walketh in a perfect way shall serve mee Hee that worketh deceit shall not dwell in my house Hee that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight I will destroy all the wicked of the Land that I may cast off all wicked doers from the City of the Lord. Here it is remarkeable that David the King intending the reformation of his Kingdome begins first with his owne family because hee well knew except order be kept in private families there can be no good order in the Common-wealth To Joshua and David wee may adde Cornelius who as ye may see Acts 10. was very carefull to keepe his servants in order Now behold that which Abraham Joshua David and Cornelius did is recorded for our instruction Every commended ensample in Scripture is propounded for the instruction of all that heare the same Take wee therefore from hence speciall notice that it is our duty to set our severall houses in order Will you say unto me these foure were great Commanders and had authoritie in their hands to compell the refractary but we which are private men for want of authority can never hope to compasse this main businesse I answer The Scripture affords examples of private men and women which have well ordered their families Among these I give preheminence to Ionadab the sonne of Recab who so well ordered his family that after his death a long time it remained an excellent order And therefore the Lord himselfe propounds that family as a patterne to all the people of Israel and gives a blessing to the same Ierem. 35. In the second place I note Aquila and Priscilla his wife whom being but craftsmen S. Paul commends very highly not onely for instructing their owne families but also for directing their neighbours Rom. 16. In the third place come Timothies Grandmother Lois and his Mother Eunice who as S. Paul records 2 Tim. 1. 5. were so carefull in ordering young Timothie that when he was a very young man he was admitted to be the great Apostles Companion Act. 16. 1. Neither may we thinke that these godly womē bestowed all their pains upon one Timothy but upon the rest of their familie In the fourth place I name the Elect Lady to whom S. John dedicates his second Epistle and the beloved Gains to whom he writes his third Epistle Together with Nymphas Col 4 15. Philemon v. 2. who had as it were Churches in their private families as the Scripture saith The meaning is they so well ordered their families that they might rightly be called little Churches or holy Congregations It is the Note of learned Zanchius upon Col. 4. concerning Nymphas his house There is said to be a Church in his house saith he because Erat tota familia benê et Christianè instituta sicut solent esse Ecclesiae Quia ibi legebatur verbum Dei coarguebantur peccata ad paenitentiam excitabantur singuli fiducia in Christum afflictis conscientiis inculcabatur adhibebantur consolationes ad studium sanctae vitae incitabantur preces habebantur canebantur Psalmi c. That is the whole family was well and Christianly ordered as Churches use to be Because there the word of God was read sinne was reproved all were exhorted to repent they which were afflicted in mind were counselled to be confident of Gods mercy in Christ all were stirred up to holinesse of life prayers were used and Psalmes were sung c. By these examples which I have propounded out of Gods word ye may easily see that heretofore all beleevers were carefull to order their owne families though they were never so meane and hereupon it came to passe that the Church of God the number of beleevers did so mightily increase in those primative times And verily the reason why iniquity doth so abound in these dayes is because Governours of families doe as it were cast the reignes in the necke of those that are committed to their charge and even suffer them to doe what they will in regard of religion without controlment For who can bring a wel-governed Common-wealth out of a rabble of disordered families Wherefore if the examples of the Patriarks and men after Gods owne heart be able to prevaile with us any thing let the same minde be in every one of us which was in them Let us all with one accord bend our selves to set our severall families in order Thus much for the second reason inforcing the well ordering of private families namely the example of holy men from the beginning The third reason is the commandement of God not onely in my Text but also in other places If there were but this one commandement in all the Scripture were it not sufficient But beholde divers others tending to the same purpose Deut. 6. 6. c. This commandement is given to every Master of a family The words that I command thee this day shall be in thy heart and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shalt talke of them when thou sittest in thy house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest downe and when thou risest up What is here enjoyned but the well ordering of all families according to Gods word First the Master of the familie must hide Gods words in his heart but not as the sloathfull servant that hid his talent in a napkin but he must lay them up there that hee may have them in a readinesse to teach and instruct his wife children servants and neighbours and hee must so whet Gods words upon them that they may understand them and keepe them and doe them The practise of Abraham mentioned by God himselfe Gen. 18. 19. may serve to explaine this place And doth not Salomon tell us Prov. 4. 4. that when hee was tender his father taught him and said unto him Let thine heart retaine my words keepe my commandements and live c. And that it was an usuall custome among Gods people to instruct their families according to the forenamed commandement appeares Prov. 31. where King Lemuel sets downe the Prophecie that his mother taught him that is the holie and wholesome Doctrine which she instilled into him concerning the well-ordering of his conversation Let these therefore bee examples and motives to all Christians by godly instruction to order their families yea seeing S. Paul which was the Apostle of the Gentiles and spake by inspiration saies Rom. 15. 4. Whatsoever things are written aforetime are written for our instruction Let us beleeve that the Lord
saith unto every one of us as well as he did to King Ezechiah Set thine house in order This being so what can be more necessarie than to inquire in the next place how and after what manner a familie may be well ordered Now without all question the best Rule whereby to order a familie is the word of the onely wise God which is conteined in the holy Scriptures of the Olde and New Testament Hereby have holy men in all ages ordered their houses Wherefore let us also take direction from the word of God how wee may well order our severall families Now if yee search the Scriptures yee shall finde that to the well-ordering of a familie two duties are required The first concernes God The second our selves which are members The dutie which wee owe to God even in our private houses in plaine termes is holy worship and godly service 1 Tim. 2. 8. S. Paul who was sent by Christ to bee the Apostle of the Gentiles saith I will that men pray every where lifting up holy hands If every where then in the familie as well as in the Church And under invocation is comprehended all holie worship and service Againe Joshua saith when hee doubted what the rest of the Israelites would doe I and my house will serve the Lord Josh. 24. 15. Here is intimated not onely publike but also private worship and service Besides wee all desire the blessing of the Lord as well in our private families as abroad and therefore 't is requisite that wee serve God as well at home as abroad For the blessing of the Lord is promised onely to those that serve him Godlinesse saith S. Paul 1 Tim. 4. 8. hath the promise of the life that now is and the life to come Now that is true godlinesse when a man is addicted to serve God at all times in all places as well privately as publikely But what is this holy service which wee are commanded to performe in our families Answ. It stands in Institution Invocation and Discipline 1. Houshold Institution is a plaine and familiar kinde of instruction which the Governour of the familie useth for the building up of all the members of the familie in the truth which is according to godlinesse The meanes hereof are either daily or such as concerne the publike Ministery The daily meanes are either the continuall use of Gods word or the observation and application of the works of God The continuall use of Gods word requisite in private houses is this That the Master of the familie daily reade or cause to be read some part of Gods word for those things which are plaine or which he hath learned by the publike Ministery or Orthodox Expositours that hee whet them upon his familie and urge them by way of catechising to meditation and practise This is plaine by that forecited text Deut. 6. 6 7 c. The application of Gods workes is when the Master calls his house to the daily observation of all Gods works whether of mercy or judgement that thereby hee may beget in their hearts godlie feare humility patience thankefulnesse contentment confidence for the time to come and all such other graces as the due consideration of Gods workes will bring forth The meanes of Institution which concerne the publike Ministerie are 1. That the Master prepare his family by prayer and admonition and take such order that they may all resort unto the publike assembly in due time and there behave themselves as becommeth Christians 2. That when they returne hee examine them concerning the points delivered and helpe them forward in the meditation of the Word and Sacraments Neither is it sufficient cursorily or superficially to doe all this but it must be done by way of authoritie and with great reverence and conscience And therefore they are in a wretched estate that take upon them to be Governours of families and yet never offer to speake one word of instruction to their houshold nor take order that others may Ignorance in this case will not excuse Besides if every Master would daily use in his family the Church Catechisme wherein are contained all the fundamentall points of religion hee would greatly profit both himselfe and his family and hinder much idlenesse and wickednesse The second thing wherein houshold service stands is daily invocation of the name of God in prayer and thanksgiving The Scripture calls us to pray continually and in all things to give thanks 1 Thes. 5. 17 18. And if we looke into the practise of holy men we shall finde that it was usuall with them to pray in their houses two or three times a day David saith Psal. 55. 18. Evening and morning and at noone will I pray And of Daniel 't is said That hee prayed and gave thankes three times a day before his God Dan. 6. And of Job 't is recorded that hee offered up burnt offerings continually for his children Job 1. 5. Now what better patternes can Masters of families propound unto themselves than David Job and Daniel Wherefore as they have done and have beene praised throughout all generations so let every Master of an house take order that it may be done in his familie In the morning when wee have beene kept in the darke and dangerous night And when we are to goe forth to our labour what more fit than to goe forth in the name of the Lord Thou desirest that the Lord would blesse thy businesse in the hands of thy servants therefore let them joyne with thee in prayer This family-prayer ought to be made early in the morning when all the familie which are in health ought to arise after the example of Christ Iesus I have often thought of that saying of S. Augustine Indecens est Christiano ut eum radius solis inveniat in lecto that is It is unbeseeming a Christian that the Sunne rising should finde him in bed This long lying in bed is that which hinders many Masters that they cannot pray with their families Another set time of prayer ought to be the evening when the familie returne from their labour and are going to sleep which is the elder sister of death then is a fit time to praise God for all the benefits of the day and to pray for protection in the night Many have gone well to their beds and beene found dead in the morning therefore me thinkes none should be so presumptuous as to goe to sleepe without calling upon the Lord and pouring out his soule before him Besides morning and evening there be other times for prayer and praise every day namely as often as we betake our selves to eate and drinke 1 Tim. 4. 4. Every creature of God is good if it be received with thanksgiving for it is sanctified by the word and prayer Whosoever therefore shall enter upon any of Gods creatures without prayer and thanksgiving hath not the creatures sanctified unto him I wonder then that some should be so profane