Yet Fortune fauours fooles Nurse By that conclusion you should not be wife Lelia Foule Fortune sometime smiles on vertue faire Sophos T is then to shew her mutabilitie But since amidst ten thousand frowning threats Of fickle fortunes thrice vnconstant wheele She daines to show one little pleasing smile Le ts do our best false Fortune to beguile And take aduantage of her euer changing moodes See see how Tellus spangled mantle smiles And birds do chant their rurall sugred notes As rauisht with our meetings sweet delights Since then ther fits for loue both time and place Let loue and liking hand in hand embrace Nurse Sir the next way to win her loue is to linger her leysure I measure my mistresse by my louely selfe make a promise to a man and keep it I haue but one fault I neere made promise in my life but I sticke to it tooth and naile I le pay it home yfaith If I promise my loue a kisse I le giue him two marrie at first I will make nice and crie fie fie and that will make him come againe and againe I le make him breake his winde with come againes Sophos But what saies Lelia to her Sophos loue Lelia Ah Sophos that fond blind boy That wrings these passions from my Sophos hart Hath likewise wounded Lelia with his dart And force perforce I yeeld the fortresse vp Here Sophos take thy Lelias hand And with this hand receiue a loyall hart High Ioue that ruleth heauens bright Canopie Grant to our loue a wisht felicitie Sophos As ioyes the wearie Pilgrim by the way When Phebus waues vnto the westerne deepe To sommon him to his desired rest Or as the poore distressed Mariner Long tost by shipwracke on the foming waues At length beholds the long wisht hauen Although from farre his heart doth dance for ioy So Loues consent at length my mind hath eas'd My troubled thoughts by sweet content are pleas'd Lelia My father recks not vertue But vowes to wed me to a man of wealth And sweares his gold shall counterpoyse his worth But Lelia scorn's proud Mammon's golden mines And better likes of learnings sacred lore Then of fond Fortunes glistering mockeries But Sophos trie thy wits and vse thy vtmost skill To please my father and compasse his good will Sophos To what faire Lelia wills doth Sophos yeeld content Yet that 's the troublous gulfe my silly ship must passe But were that venture harder to atchieue Then that of Iason for the golden fleece I would effect it for sweet Lelias sake Or leaue my selfe as witnesse of my thoughts Nurse How say you by that mistresse hee l doe any thing for your sake Lelia Thankes gentle loue But least my father should suspect Whose iealous head with more than Argus eyes Doth measure euery gesture that I vse I le in and leaue you here alone Adieu sweet friend vntill we meet againe Come Nurse follow me Exeunt Lelia and Nurse Sophos Farewell my loue faire fortune be thy guide Now Sophos now bethinke thy selfe How thou maist win her fathers will to knit this happie knot Alas thy state is poore thy friends are few And feare forbids to tell my fates to friend Well I le trie my Fortunes And finde out some conuenient time When as her fathers leysure best shal serue To conferre with him about faire Lelias loue Exit Sophos Enter Gripe olde Ploddall Churms and Will Cricket Gripe Neighbour Ploddall and Master Churms y are welcome to my house What newes in the Countrie neighbour you are a good husband you ha done sowing barley I am sure Ploddall Yes sir an t please you a fornight since Gripe Master Churms what saies my debters can you get any money of them yet Churms Not yet sir I doubt they are scarce able to pay You must eene forbeare them a while they le exclaime on you else Gripe Let them exclaime and hang and starue and beg let me ha my monie Ploddall Here 's this good fellow too Master Churms I must eene put him and his father ouer into your hands they le pay me no Rent Will Cric. This good fellow quotha I scorne that base broking brabbling brauling bastardly bottlenos'd beetlebrow'd bean-bellied name Why Robin Goodfellow is this same cogging pettifogging crackeropes Calue-skin companion Put me and my father ouer to him olde Siluer top and you had not put me before my father I would ha Ploddall What woulst ha done Will I would haue had a snatch at you that I would Churms What art a dogge Will No if I had beene a dog I would ha snapt of your nose ere this and so I should haue cosend the D◠of a Marriebone Gripe Come come let me end this controuersie Prithee go thy waies in bid the boy bring a cup of Sacke here for my friends Will Would you haue a sacke Sir Gripe A way foole a cup of Sacke to drinke Will O I had thought you would haue had a sacke to haue put this lawcracking cogfoystin in stead of a paire of stockes Gripe Away foole get thee in I say Will Into the buttrie you meane Gripe I prithee doe Will I le make your hogshead of Sack rue that word Exit Will Cricket Gripe Neighbour Ploddall I sent a Letter to you by Master Churms how like you of the motion Ploddall Marrie I like wel of the motion my sonne I tel you is eene all the stay I haue and all my care is to haue him take one that hath something for as the world goes now if they haue nothing they may begge But I doubt hee s too simple for your daughter For I haue brought him vp hardly with brown bread fat bacon puddinges and souce and barlady wee thinke it good fare too Gripe Tush man I care not for that you ha no more children you le make him your heire and giue him your lands will you not Ploddall Yes hee s eene all I haue I haue no body else to bestow it vpon Gripe You say well Enter Wil. Cricket and a Boy with Wine and a napkin Wil. Nay here you drinke afore you bargaine Gr. Mas an t is a good motion oy fill some wine He fills thē wine giues them the napkin Here Neighbour and M. Churms I drink to you Both We thanke you Sir Wil. Lawer wipe cleane do you remember Churms Remember why Wil. Why since you know when Churms Since when Wil. Why since you were bumbasted that your lubberly legges would not carrie your lob cocke bodie When you made an infusion of your stinking excrements in your stalking implements O you were plaguy frayd and fowly raide Gripe Prithee peace Will Neighbour Ploddall what say you to this match shall it go forward Ploddall Sir that must be as our children like For my sonne I thinke I can rule him Marrie I doubt your daughter will hardly like of him for God wot hee s very simple Gripe My daughters mine to command haue I not brought her vp to
how now Mistresse what is it loue that makes you weepe and tosse and tourne so a nights when you are in bed Saint Leonard grant you fall not loue sicke Lelia I that 's the point that pearceth to the quicke Would Atropos would cut my vitall threed And so make lauish of my loathed life Or gentle heauens would smile with faire aspect And so giue better fortunes to my loue Why i st not a plague to be a prisoner to mine own father Nurse Yes ants a shame for him to vse you so too But be of good cheare Mistresse I le go to Sophos euery day I le bring you tidings and tokens too from him I le warrant yee and if he wil send you a kisse or two I le bring it let me alone I am good at a dead lift Marry I cannot blame you for louing of Sophos Why hee s a man as one should picture him in waxe But Mistresse out vpo ns wipe your eyes For here comes another wooer Enter Peter Ploddall Peter Mistresse Lelia God speed you Lelia That 's more then we neede at this time for we are doing nothing Peter I were as good say a good word as a bad Lelia But it s more wisedome to say nothing at all then speake to no purpose Peter My purpose is to wiue you Lelia And mine is neuer to wed you Peter Belike y are in loue with some body else Nurse No but shee s lustily promis'd Heare you you with long rifle by your side do you lacke a wife Peter Call you this a rifle it s a good backe sword Nurse Why then you with backe sword le ts see your backe Peter Nay I must speake with Mistresse Lelia before I goe Lelia What would you with me Peter Marry I haue heard verie wel of you and so has my father too And he has sent me to you a woeing And if you haue any minde of marriage I hope I shal maintaine you as wel as any husbandmans wife in the Countrie Nurse Maintaine her with what Peter Marrie with my Lands and liuings my father has promis'd me Lelia I haue heard much of your wealth but I neuer knew your manners before now Peter Faith I haue no Mannors but a prittie homestall and we haue great store of Oxen and Horses and Carts and Plowes and houshold stuffe bomination And great flocks of sheepe and flocks of Geese and Capons and Hens and Duckes O we haue a fine yarde of Pullen And thanke God here 's a fine weather for my fathers Lambes Lelia I cannot liue content in discontent For as no musicke can delight the eares Where all the parts of Discords are composed So wedlocke bands will still consist in iarres Where in condition there 's no sympathie Then rest your selfe contented with this answere I cannot loue Peter It s no matter what you say For my father tolde me thus much before I came that you would be something nice at first but he bad me like you nere the worse for that for I were the liker to speede Lelia Then you were best leaue of your suit till some other time and when my leasure serues me to loue you I le send you word Peter Will you wel then I le take my leaue of you and if I may heare from you I le pay the messenger well for his paines But stay Gods death I had almost forgot my selfe Prayee let me kisse your hand ere I goe Nurse Faith Mistresse his mouth runs a water for a kisse a little would serue his turne belike Let him kisse your hand Lelia I le not sticke for that He kisses her hand Peter Mistresse Lelia God be with you Lelia Farewell Peter Exit Peter Thus Lucre set in golden Chaire of state When learning 's bid Stand by and keepes a loofe This greedie humor fits my fathers vaine Who gapes for nothing but for golden gaine Enter Chur. Nurse Mistresse take heede you speake nothing that will beare action for here comes Master Churms the Pettifogger Churms Mistresse Lelia rest you merrie What 's the reason you and your Nurse walke here all alone Lelia Because Sir wee desire no other companie but our owne Churms Would I were then your owne That I might keepe you companie Nurse O Sir you and hee that is her owne are farre asunder Churms But if shee please we may be neerer Lelia That cannot bee mine owne is neerer then my selfe And yet my selfe alas am not mine owne Thoughts feares despaires tenne thousand dreadfull dreames Those are mine owne and these do keepe me companie Churms Before God I must confesse your father is too cruell To keepe you thus sequestred from the world To spend your prime of youth thus in obscuritie And seeke to wed you to an Idiot foole That knowes not how to vse himselfe Could my deserts but answere my desires I sweare by Sol faire Phoebus siluer eye My heart would wish no higher to aspire Then to be grac't with Lelias loue By Iesus I cannot play the dissembler And wooe my loue with courting ambages Like one whose loue hangs on his smooth tongues ende But in a word I tell the summe of my desires I loue faire Lelia By her my passions daily are increas'd And I must die vnlesse by Lelias loue they be releas'd Lelia Why Master Churms I had thought you had been my fathers great Counsellor in all these actions Churms Nay Damne me if I be By heauens sweet Nymph I am not Nurse Master Churms you are one can doe much with her father and if you loue her as you say perswade him to vse her more kindly and giue her libertie to take her choise for these made mariages prooue not well Churms I protest I will Lelia So Lelia shal accept thee as her friend Meane while Nurse le ts in My long absence I know will make my father muse Exeunt Lelia and Nurse Churms So Lelia shal accept thee as her friend Who can but ruminate vpon these words Would she had said her loue But t is no matter first creepe and then goe Now her friend the next degree is Lelias loue Well I le perswade her father to let her haue a little more libertie But soft I le none of that neither So the Scholler may chance cosen me Perswade him to keepe her in still And before shee le haue Peter Ploddall shee le haue any bodie and so I shal be sure that Sophos shal neuer come at her Why I le warrant ye shee le be glad to run away with me at length Hang him that has no shifts I promis'd Sophos to further him in his suite But if I do I le be peckt to death with hens I swore to Gripe I would perswade Lelia to loue Peter Ploddall But God forgiue me t was the furthest ende of my thought Tut what 's an othe euerie man for himselfe I le shift for one I warrant ye Exit Enter Fortunatus Solus Fortu. Thus haue I past the beating billows of the sea By Ithacs
Lelia walks as stately as the great Baboone Sounds he lookes as though his mother were a midwife Sophos Now gentle Ioue great Monarke of the world Grant good successe vnto my wandring hopes Churms Now Phoebus siluer eye is drencht in westerne deepe And Luna gins to show her splendant raies And al the harmlesse quiresters of wood Do take reprose saue onely Philomele Whose heauie tunes do euermore record With mornefull aies the losses of her loue Thus farre faire loue we passe in secret sort Beyond the compasse of thy fathers bounds Whilst he on down-soft bed securely sleepes And not so much as dreames of our depart The dangers past now thinke on nought but loue I le be thy deare be thou my hearts delight Sophos Nay first I le send thy soule to cole blacke night Churms Thou promis'd loue now seale it with a kisse Fort. Nay soft Sir your mark 's at the fairest For weare her loue and seale it with a kisse Vpon the burnisht splendor of this blade Or it shal rip the intrailes of thy pesant hart Sophos Nay let me do it that 's my part Churms You wrong me much to rob me of my loue Sophos Auant base braggard Lelias mine Churms She lately promis'd loue to me Fortunatus Peace Night-Rauen peace I le ende this controuersie Come Lelia stand betweene them both As equall Iudge to ende this strife Say which of these shal haue thee to his wife I can deuise no better way then this Now choose thy loue and greete him with a kisse Lelia My choice is made and here it is she kisses Sophos Sophos See here the mirrour of true constancie Whose stedfast loue deserues a Princes worth Lelia Master Churms are you not well I must confesse I would haue chosen you But that I nere beheld your legs till now Trust me I neuer lookt so low before Churms I know you vse to looke aloft Lelia Yet not so high as your crowne Churms What if you had Lelia Faith I should ha spied but a Calues head Churms Sounds cosend of the wench and scoft at too T is intolerable and shal I loose her thus Ho wt mads me that I brought not my sworde and buckles with me Fort. What are you in your sword buckler tearms I le put you out of that humor There Lelia sends you that by me Beates him And that to recompence your loues desire And that as payment for your wel earn'd hire Go get thee gon and boast of Lelias loue Churms Where ere I goe I le leaue with her my curse And raile on you with speeches vilde Fortunatus A craftie knaue was neuer so beguil'd Now Sophos hopes haue had their luckie haps And he enioyes the presence of his loue My vow 's perform'd and I am full reueng'd Vpon this Hell-bred brace of cursed Imps Now rests nought but my fathers free consent To knit the knot that time can nere vntwist And that as this I likewise wil performe No sooner shal Auroraes pearled deaw Orespread the mantled earth with siluer drops And Phoebus blesse the Orient with a blush To chace blacke night to her deformed Cell But I le repaire vnto my fathers house And neuer cease with my inticing words To worke his wil to knit this Gordian knot Till when I le leaue you to your amorous chatte Deare friend a dieu faire sister too farewel Betake your selues vnto some secret place Vntil you heare from me how things fall out Exit Fortunatus Sophos We both do wish a fortunate goodnight Lelia And pray the Gods to guide thy steps aright Sophos Now come faire Lelia le ts betake our selues Vnto a little Hermitage hereby And there to liue obscured from the world Till fates and Fortune call vs thence away To see the sunshine of our Nuptiall day See how the twinkling Starres do hide their borrowed shin As halfe asham'd their luster so is stain'd By Lelias beautious eyes that shine more bright Then twinkling Starres do in a winters night In such a night did Paris win his loue Lelia In such a night Aenaeas prou'd vnkind Sophos In such a night did Troilus court his deare Lelia In such a night faire Phyllis was betraid Sophos I le proue as true as euer Troylus was Lelia And I as constant as Penelope Sophos Then let vs solace and in loues delight And sweet imbracings spend the liue-long night And whilst loue mounts her on her wanton wings Let Descant run on Musicks siluer strings Exeunt A SONG 1 OLde Tithon must forsake his deare The Larke doth chante her chearefull lay Aurora smiles with merry cheere To welcome in a happy day 2 The beasts do skippe The sweete birds sing The wood Nymphs dance The Ecchoes ring 3 The hollow caues with ioy resounds And pleasure euery where abounds The Graces linking hand in hand In loue haue knit a glorious band Enter Robin Goodfellow olde Ploddall and his sonne Peter Ploddall Heare you Master Goodfellow how haue you sped Peter Ha you plaid the Diuel brauely and scard the scholler out on s wits Robin A pox of the Scholler Ploddall Nay harke you I sent you vortie shillings and you shal haue the cheese I promis'd you too Robin A plague of the vortie shillings and the Cheese too Peter Heare you wil you giue me the powder you told me of Robin How you vex me powder quotha Sounds I ha been powderd Ploddall Son I doubt thee wil proue a craftie knaue and cosen vs of our money Wee le go to Master Iustice and complaine on him and get him whipt out o th Countrie for a Connicatcher Peter I or haue his eares naild to the Pillorie Comes le ts goe Exeunt Ploddall and his sonne Enter Churms Churms Fellow Robin what newes howe goes the world Robin Faith the world goes I cannot tell how How speed you with your wench Churms I would the wench were at the Diuel A plague vpon t I neuer say my prayers and that makes me haue such ill lucke Robin I think the scholler be haunted with some Demidiuel Churms Why didst thou fray him Robin Fray him a vengeance on t all our shifting knauerie 's knowne We are counted very vagrants Sounds I am afraid of euerie officer for whipping Churms We are horribly haunted our behauiour is so beastly that we are growen loathsome our craft gets vs nought but knocks Robin What course shal we take now Churms Faith I cannot tell le ts eene run our Countrie for here 's no staying for vs Robin Faith agreed le ts go into some place where wee are not knowne and there set vp the art of knauerie with the second edition Exeunt Enter Gripe Solus Gripe Euery one tels me I looke better then I was wont My hearts lightened my spirits are reuiued Why me thinkes I am eene young againe It ioyes my heart that this same peeuish girle my daughter wil be rul'd at the last yet But I shall neuer be able to make Mr. Churmes amends for the great
paines he has taken Enter Nurse Nur. Master now out vpo ns well aday we are al vndone Gripe Vndone what sodaine accident hath chanc't Speake what 's the matter Nurse Alas that euer I was borne My Mistresse and Mr. Churms are run away together Gripe T is not possible nere tell me I dare trust Master Churms with a greater matter then that Nurse Faith you must trust him whether you will or no for hee s gone Enter Will Cricket VVill M. Gripe I was comming to desire that I might haue your absence at my wedding for I heare say you are very liberall growen alate For I spake with three or foure of your debters this morning that ought you hundred pounds a piece And they tolde me that you sent M. Churmes to them and tooke of some ten pounds And of some twentie and deliuered them their bondes And bad them pay the rest when they were able Gripe I am vndon I am robd my daughter my mony Which way are they gone VVill Faith Sir it s all to nothing but your daughter and M. Churms are gone both one way Marrie your mony flies some one waies and some another And therefore t is but a folly to make hue and crie after it Gripe Follow them make hue and cry after them My daughter my mony all 's gone what shall I doe Will Faith if you will be rul'd by me I le tell you what you shall doe Marke what I say for I le teach you the way to come to heauen if you stumble not Giue all you haue to the poore But one single penny and with that penny buy you a good strong halter And when you ha done so come to mee and I le tell you what you shall do with it Gripe Bring me my daughter that Churms that villane I le teare him with my teeth Nurse Master nay pray you do not run mad I le tell you good newes My young Master Fortunatus is come home and see where he comes Enter Fortunatus Gripe If thou hadst sayd Lelia it had beene something Fort. Thus Fortunatus greetes his Father And craues his blessing on his bended knee Gripe I heer 's my sonne but Lelia shee le not come Good Fortunatus rise wilt thou shed teares And help thy father mone If so say I if not good sonne be gone Fort. What moues my father to these strange fits Will Faith Sir hee s almost mad I thinke he cannot tell you And therefore I presuming Sir that my wit is something better than his at this time do you marke Sir Out of the profound circumambulation of my supernaturall wit Sir do you vnderstand Will tel you the whole superfluity of the matter Sir Your sister Lelia Sir you know is a woman As another woman is Sir Fort. Well and what of that Will Nay nothing Sir but shee fell in loue with one Sophos a very proper wise young man Sir Now Sir your Father would not let hir haue him Sir But would haue married hir to one Sir That would haue fed hir with nothing but barly bag puddings and fat bacon Now Sir to tell you the truth The foole ye know has fortune to land But M. Lelias mouth doth not hang for that kind of dyet Fort. And how then VVill Marrie then there was a certaine craking cogging pettifogging buttermilke slaue Sir one Churms Sir that is the very quintessence of all the knaues in the bunch And if the best man of all his kin had been but so good as a yeoman mans sonne He should haue been a markt knaue by letters patents And hee Sir comes me sneaking and cosens them both of their wench and is run away with hir And Sir belike hee has cosend your father heere of a great deale of his mony too Nurse Sir your father did trust him but too much But I alwaies thought he would prooue a crafty knaue Gripe My trusts betrai'd my ioyes exil'd Griefe kils his heart my hopes beguil'd Fort. Where golden gaine doth bleare a fathers eyes That pretious pearle fetcht from Pernassus mount Is counted refuse worse then Bullen brasse Both ioyes and hope hang of a silly twine That still is subiect vnto flitting time That tournes ioy into griefe and hope to sad despaire And ends his dayes in wretched worldly care Were I the richest Monarch vnder heauen And had one daughter thrice as faire As was the Grecian Menelaus wife Ere I would match hir to an vntaught swaine Though one whose wealth exceeded Croesus store Hir selfe should choose and I applaud hir choise Of one more poore then euer Sophos was Were his deserts but equall vnto his If I might speake without offence You were to blame to hinder Lelias choice As she in Natures graces doth excell So doth Minerua grace him full as well Nurse Now by cocke and pie you neuer spoke a truer word in your life hee s a very kind gentleman For last time he was at our house he gaue me three pence Will O nobly spoken God send Pegge to prooue as wise a woman as hir Mother and then we shall be sure to haue wise children Nay if he be so liberall olde Gransire you shall giue him the good-will of your daughter Gripe She is not mine I haue no daughter now That I should say I had thence comes my griefe My care of Lelia past a fathers loue My loue of Lelia makes my losse the more My losse of Lelia drowns my heart in woe My hearts woe makes this life a liuing death Care Loue Losse Hearts-woe liuing death Ioyne all in one to stop this vitall breath Curst be the time I gap't for golden gaine I curse the time I crost hir in hir choice Hir choyce was virtuous but my wil was base I sought to grace hir from the Indian Mines But she sought honour from the starrie Mount What franticke fit possest my foolish braine What furious fancie fired so my heart To hate faire Virtue and to scorne desert Fortunatus Then father giue desert his due Let Natures graces and faire virtues giftes One sympathie and happy consort make Twixt Sophos and my sister Lelias loue Conioyne their hands whose hearts haue long beene one And so conclude a happy vnion Gripe Now t is too late What Fates decree can neuer be recall'd Hir lucklesse loue is fall'n to Churms his lot And he vsurps faire Lelias nuptiall bed Fortunatus That cannot be feare of pursuit must needes prolong his nuptiall rights But if you giue your full consent That Sophos may enioy his long wisht loue And haue faire Lelia to his louely bride I le follow Churmes what ere betide I le be as swifte as is the light foote Roe And ouertake him ere his iournies end And bring faire Lelia backe vnto my friend Gripe I heer 's my hand I do consent And thinke hir happie in hir happie choice Yet halfe foreiudge my hopes will be deceiu'd But Fortunatus I must needes commend Thy constant mind thou bear'st vnto thy friend The after