according to thy owne hart but proceeded from the holy Ghost the Spirit of all truth who speaketh by the Prophets and Apostles for the comfort instruction and illumination of such as are true members of our holy Mother the Church how weak and contemptible soeuer they be In the beleif of which Church and in hope of thy mercies which I haue always experienced to be great towards me thy poore seruant I fly to thee in all my doubts and obscurities which sinne ignorance and imperfection cause to my soul in her way â—owards thee her only desired Beloued â—he by whom thou speak this had â—â—cepted any I should not haue daâ—d to haue applyed it to my selfe â—ut as it is I should do thee wrong â—o fly from thee when thou bidst me â—â—me and be illuminated Though my â—â—nnes be great yet thy mercies exâ—eed all the sinnes in the world I â—ill therefor come to thee that my â—â—ce be not confounded I will approach â—o thee the only true light that my souâ—â— may Loue thee being guided by â—his thy light In this light the glorious 〈◊〉 Augustin walked in an extraordiâ—ary maner when he cried out with â— most amorous hart Lord lett me know â—hee and lett me know my-selfe These â—wo knowledges are inseparable â—ompanions and increase the one â—y the other For who can know theeâ—nlesse â—nlesse he know himself vnlesse he â—e taught by thee Those that would â—now some thing of thee and would be fauoured by thee for any end but to loue thee and to learn to dispise themselues be in perill of a most dangerous ruine For those that walk the true way of the Crosse desire nâ— fauour but to be able without aâ— comfort to be faithfull to thee mâ— Lord God Those that haue done thâ— contrary of which alas there hauâ— not been a few are they which hauâ— brought a Spirituall life into such contempt that they shall haue in â— maner all the world about their eareâ— to censure them who enter into it one obiecting it will put one out oâ— his wits as they haue found by experience in many that ventureâ— vpon such a course Others say Those that affect singular waies of Spirit are in eminent perill of being deluded by the diuell Others pretend that those poore soules pretend such perfection that they slight and contemne the courses of others though their Superiors and betters which is an euident signe that they are for all their pretence in a great errour Others obiect that they abstract their affections from all the world and indeed would seeme to be dead to all creatures but that this they do that they may the better loue themselues and while they seek themselues in a Spirituall maner in the gifts and graces of God they say they are in more danger then those that liue in sinne and wickednes Others alleadg that the quietnes they seeme to enioy in occurring accidents of difficulty is either natural or els becaus they pretending to lead forsooth a Spirituall life are bound in honour to endure them patiently least otherwise they be prooued to their disgrace to be but in an imaginary course which a Spiritual life in these dayes is generally held to be Thus and in infinit other maners as it is known to thee I haue in some sort experienced euen from them whom I could haue expected by the place they â—ear to haue been hartned in my desyre of tending to thee to the vttermost ability of my soul but well might they do it seeing they were also in place where they were bound to reform in me what was and is amis in my life which I must confesse is very much but yet I confide in thy help But in fine the obiections against an internall life are so many that much help is necessary for a soul that shall be able to hold and go through with all obiections and difficulties in that kind For one saies for want of this circumstance all their life is in perill and another saith that the said circumstance may stand with a true Spirituall life but yet that there is another matter or circumstance which were necessary to be reformed in their course and thus in their exceptions there be so many mindes as men and yet none of them can say there is any sinne in that which they alleadg for such a mayn impediment the fault being indeed only that it is not sutable to their apprehension and experience in spiritual matters Thus therefor it stands with soules that in these days would lead a Spirituall life But those who place all their hope in thee my God shall remain stable as a rock and in thee who art their strength and refuge they liue peaceable and content hauing the testimony of their conscience to bâ— their comfort amidst all oppositions and contradictions But aboue all obiections which I haue heard that goes neerest my hart is when I read or hear that it is perillous to walk the way of Loue and that as some would seeme to proue no soul in any other course or state is in such perill as is a soul who giueth herself to thiâ— study But lett them affirm that who will For my part I will shutt my eares from harkning to such men becaus nothing is more plaine more easy more secure more pleasant then the way of Loue. For that way of Loue it cannot be called if the soul seek in it any thing but thee alone which these men would make it allmost impossible for one to do But thou knowst my God that in this thou hast wrong For it being thy own desire that soules should loue thee and thou hauing made them only for that end that they might wholy attend euen in this life to the Loue and Praise of thee alone how can this way be dangerous where the only endeauour of the soul is that thy will be in al fullfilled who can doubt of thy assistance and help therein though we be able to do nothing of our selues Verily it cannot be doubted any more then it can be feared that thou willt cease to be good to thy creatures which thou hast redeemed with thy pretious bloud Lett not soules therefor I beseech thee by any such frights be brought into fear of walking this noble and amiable way but lett vs sing in hope Dominus illuminatio mea salus mea quem timebo Si Deus pro nobis quis contra nos My Lord is my light and my Saluation whom shall I feare If God be with vs what matter is it who is against vs. Lett vs proceed humbly till we be admitted to enioy thee the God of Gods in Sion where thy praise shall be perfected in vs. These things therefor remembring and recounting before thee do strengthen my soul that it fall not from the stedfastnes which is grounded and founded vpon thee To harten and inconradg my soul by speaking and writing thus to thee was the caus why these things haue been
thee but if she presume any thing of herself what perillsâ— and danger she is subiect vnto and she apt to fall into none can conceaue much lesse expresse And to this effect of shewing a soul how to walk securely writeth thy great seruant the Author of the following of Christ in his 21. Chapter of his third book whose words with great ioy I read and before thee speaking too I will heere bring them in beseeching thee to instruct me in the true practise of them For they contayn the way in which a foole cannot erre and without the practise of this our soules lye open to all the snares of the Diuell thine and our enemy No instruction did she so much regard so frequently reflectâ—on or more volue and â—â—â—olve in her mind nor more delighted in â—hen this that followeth being meerly of â—er own finding and obsâ—ruing in the said â—ook which she was familiar in and no â—aruaile considering the excellency and â—ecessity of it for the purpose which she hath mentioned being the securing of one in a Spirituall course thus therefor doth he say â—peaking to her soule Super omnia in omnibus requiesces â—â—ima mea in Domino semper quia ipse est â—anctorum aeterna requies Da mihi dulâ—sâ—me amantissime Iesu in Te super â—mnem Salutem Pulchritudinem super omnem Gloriam honorem super omnem â—â—tentiam DignitateÌ„ super omnem ScieÌ„tiam Subtilitatem super omnes Diuitias Artes super omnem LaetitiaÌ„ Exultationem superomnem famam Laudem super omnem Suauitatem ConsolationeÌ„ super omnem Spem Promissionem super omne Meritum Desiderium super omnia dona munera quae potes dare infundere super omne Gaudium iubilationem quam potest mens capere â—â—ntire Denique super Angelos Archangelos super omnem Exercitum Coeli super omnia visibilia inuisibilia super omne quod Tu Dâ—us meus non esâ— Quia Tu Domine Deus meus super omnia optimus es Tu solus Altissimus Tu solus Potentissimus Tu solus Sufficientissimus Plenissimus Tu solus Suauissimus Solatiosissimus Tu solus Pulcherrimus Amantissimus Tu solus Nobilissimus Gloriosissimus super omnia in quo cunctâ—â— bona simul perfecte sunt semper fuâ—runt erunt Atque ideo minus est insâ—fficiâ—ns quiâ—quid prâ—ter Teipsum mihi donas aut de teipso reuelas vel promittâ—â— Te non viso nec plene adepto Quoniam quidem non potest cor meum veraciter requiescere nec totaliter contentari nisiin Te requiesâ—at omnia dona omnemque Creaturam transcendat Aboue all things in all things my soule thou shalt euer rest in God for hee is the eternall rest of the Saints Grante Mee most sweet and louing Iesus to Rest in Thee aboue all Creatures aboue all Health and Beauty aboue all Glory and Honour aboue all I owre and Dignity aboue all Knowledge and Subtility aboue all riches and Arts Aboue all ioy and â—ladnesse aboue all fame and Praise â—boue all sweetnesse and Comfort aboue â—ll Hope and Promâ—se aboue all meritt â—nd Desyre aboue all Guifts and prefents â—hat Thou canst giue and impart aboue all ioy and Iubilee that the Mind can reâ—eiue feele lastly aboue Angells and Archangells aboue all the heauenly Host aboue all things visible and inuisible and aboue All that Thou art not my God For Thou my Lord God art good aboue all goods Thou alone most high Thou alone â—ost powrefull Thou alone most full and sufficient Thou alone most sweet and comfortable thou alone most beautifull and louing Thou alone most noble and Glorious aboue all Things in whom all â—oods together are most perfectly haue beene and euer shall be And therefore it 〈◊〉 too little and not sufficient whatsoeuer Thou bestowest on Mee besides thy selfe or reuealest of tâ—y selfe or promisest whilst Thou art not seene nor fully obtayned For surely my Hart cannot rest nor be fully contented vnlesse itt rest in Thee and transcend all guifts and Creatures whatsoeuer All things desires and loues are vainâ— But only that which tends To God alone our cheifest good And all things ells transcends My soul therefor by this sweet Loue shall day and night aspire And rest in God all things aboue My Loue and lifes desire And while I liue I le neuer cease To languish for his Loue Breathing and sighing after him Till he my life remoue For since â— am not where I loue How can I comfort find But only in the song of Loue By Loue to me assign'd And where so ere â—his word is 〈◊〉 loue It yeilds a siluer sound But if that word I misse in it Me thinks I want my ground Nothing so simple can be pennd If it but treat of Loue But that it serueth in some sort My sadnes to remoue And shall my soul by senselesse loue Which yet is neuer true Bestow more loue where it is lost Then where 't is only due â— no my God but rather lett Such folly be to me A meanes to vrge my sinnefull soul To Loue more fernently And henceforth lett me draw no breath But to aspire by Loue To thee my God and all my good By whom I liue and moue No Stagge in chace so thirsty is Or greedy of sweet spring As is my soul of thee my God While I heere sighing sing My soul where is thy Loue and Lord Since him thou canst not find O cheere vp hart be comforted For he is in thy mind To him relation thou maist haue As often as thou goes Unto the closett of thy hart Thy griefs for to disclose As silly Lambes from rauening Woolues For help to Sheapheards fly So shall my soul in euery case For help and councell hye To thee my God by humble Prayer In hope and confidence That thou my Lord willt succour me And be my soules defence And seeing that my God is rich How can I say I 'm poore And hee more myne then I myne owne What can I wish for I more And in his Maiesty and power Much more I will reioice Thâ—n if of all in heauen and earth I had commaund and choice My God one thing alone thou know'st I feare and apprehend Which is my Lord for to displease Whose mercies haue no end From all that doth displease thyne eyeâ—â— Be pleas'd to sett me free For nothing ells in heauen or earth Do I dâ—sire but thee And lett me rather death embrace Then thee my God offend Or in my hart to giue thy place To any other freind Nothing would greiue my soul so much As in me to perceaue Any affection in the world That thine would me bereaue I know thou must possesse alone Or els we are not thine In such good plight as we should be If light to vs did shine As thou desirest it should do By grace our soules within For which
through their pride and forgettfullnes of their own nothing and of the greatnes of thy Maiesty which pride aboue all things deliuer me from I beseech thee becaus it makes soules so odious before thy self and all that loue thee Lett me giue all Glory to thee who without any desert of myne hast thus sweetly with Grace preuented me for which be thou euer by all Praised and Adored Amen THE XIII CONFESSION O Lord whose Power Maiesty and Wisedome haue no end haue mercy on me sinner and giue me leaue to speak vnto thee my God and aske thee whither men are pleasing to thee becaus they abound with human knowledg And behold thou affirmest no but vnhappy are they who can pearce into all things if they be ignorant of thee Lett me therefor loue and then I shall not be ignorant of that knowledg which maketh soules so pleasing in thyne eyes to wit knowledge of thee and my self O Loue which in lightnest soules and inflamest harts wâ—th chast loue flow into my soul This loue is honourable wisedome and though the enioyers thereof be accounted fooles by the wise of this world yet thou hast another opinion of them and their humble soules find much fauour in thy pure eyes my God! With this Loue did those abound of whom S. Paul speaketh that they went vp and down in goats skinnes needy despised hidden in dennes and caues of whom the world was not worthy yet some of thy Saints became very honourable and glorious euen in the eyes of the world the which was forced to acknowledge thee great in and by them and there was no resisting of thy wisedome speaking by them amongst which of these thy seruants was the great S. Augustin Doctor and light of thy Church a most ardent louer of thee my God Hee in those books of his that I haue seene turneth his speaches so to thy Maiesty that his words thereby become sweeter then ordinary and while he declareth his own misery he giueth to vnderstand to vs thy most aboundant mercy that all that desire to loue thee my Godâ— may being inuited by him praise thee with him and for the fauour shewed by thee to him O that all to whom thou offrest the fauour of bestowing on them thy diuine Loue if they would after sinning by true Humility dispose themselues for it would become by his example gratefull to thee and loue thee as thou wouldst by them be beloued O how soon dost thou by thy Grace wipe out the sinnâ—â— of such who now detesting their former il liues do striue by humble loue to become grateâ—ull to thee for thy preuenting Mercy O Lord my God though thou hast forgiuen me much yet I am farr from louing thee much Those who now enioy thee that haue heertofor beene sinners as I be they Intercessors to thee for meâ— and be thou euer praised for thy infinit mercy by all thy Maiesties creatures for euer anâ— euer Amen THE XIV CONFESSIONâ— O Lord my God who sweetly disposest all things giue thy poore contemptible creature leaue to speake vnto thee who art the only desire of my soul and my hope from my youth and entierly beloued of my hart To thee I will speak and write not as to one a far of but to stirr vp my soul to Loue thee alone and to draw occasions out of all things to praise and exalt thee whose mercies are aboue all thy works To whom should I make my moane in all my miseries but to thy self who art my God and All and who art neerer to me then I am to my self To whom should I go to be instructed but to the fountain of all wisedome Behold men change their mindes and almost euery man differeth in opinion from another in matters that are indifferent and so great is my ignoranâ—e and blindnes naturally that vnâ—esse thou instruct me I shall all waies â—auer and neuer come to any true â—erfection of knowledg They stand at â—oo great a hazard who confide in â—hemselues and cast not their hope â—holy vpon thee All creatures are vnstable and those that seeke not â—hee aboue all creatures but putt their trust more in men then in thee will find no true peace in their soules O that I did truly Loue for by Loue only my soul shall becom capable of vnderstanding truth Loue is humble â—eaceable subiect to thee in all things The soul that loueth thee is more conuersant in heauen then on earth and what heere she of necessity must admit of serues to her rather as a cessation then any consolation The soul that Loues findeth occasion in all and by all things to praise thee my God and to humble it self Such are willingly subiect for thee and do see how odious it is to thee to see that subiects should contemn contradict or withstand thâ— power in Superiors and make theiâ— imperfection a colour for our sinneâ— If it be right between our soules anâ— thee we shall gladly obey thee speaâ—ke thou or ordain thou by whom thoâ—â— pleasest Teach me therefor to obey for thou only canst instruct me whâ— true humble Obedience is If thou dâ— not teach me I may perhaps giue to Caesar what is tâ—yne and deny to giue Caesar what is due to him by thy will Let me obey therefor for theeâ— and in order to thy will and with an internall regard of thee whose due is all the subiection and loue that can be giuen by my poor soul. Open the eyes of my soul that I may see what thou exactest in all things Instruct me by whom and in what maner thoâ— pleasest So I may but know what thy will and pleasure is it suffizeth thy poore seruant Giue me grace to obey thee my God with all that Loue thee for euer Amen THE XV. CONFESSION O Lord my God what soul that truly loues thee can complain what difficulties soeuer she endures or how great a desolation soeuer obscures her soul or how great paines soeuer she sustaines seeing thou whom she loueth more then her life and self art always the same beholding with an amorous and louing eye the louing soul afflicted by thee or by thy permission rather to try her fidelity then to oppresse her with such a burthen that might separate her from her only beloued for seeing nothing is dreaded by her but to be seperated from her God she holding humility and confidence thou O Lord wilt neuer permit her to be ouercome For thou makest the quarrel thyne own thus fought by vs and the victory ours though indeed gained by thee not by our own selues O how happy am I in thy Power and Glory Verily though I were to return to my own nothing yet I could not account my self void of an infinit happines seeing my God who is more mine then â— am my own would remain and be the same in all Wisedome and Maiesty Thâ—s is the repose of my labour and the crown of my glory in which I will exult in my greatest
sake as also thine owne who art Blessed for euer Amen THE XXVIII CONFESSION INCINA cor meum Deus in testimonia tua Ecce concupui mandata tua in aequitate tua viuifica me-Incline my God my hart to thy testimonies and in thy truth quicken my soul. For behold my soul doth exceedingly couet to performe thy law For thy law is truth and the effect thereof is Iustice and Peace and Ioy in the holy Ghost When I remember how I haue strayed from thee by sin I become ashamed before thâ—e But when I consider thy Mercy I hope stil notwithstanding what is past to become through thy grace which so sweetly preuented me pleasing to thy Diuine Maiesty O Lord inlighten my soul obscuredâ— by sin and ill customes inlighten it that I may walk the way of Iustice and Truth which is the way wherof thou speakest by Esaie the Prophet in which a foole cannot err as he affirmethâ— O let me by true Humility become a fool according to his meaning let me become as a bittle child that I may be capable of entring into the Kingdom of Heauen Certeinly we ought to liue so subiect to thee that we haue no election of any thing as pretending our selues for time or eternity And also we ought to haue in our soul such a relation to thee that in thy ligâ—t in thy truth and wholy according to thy will we perform all we do and out of that respect omit what we omit O my God let me I say walk this way of Loue which knoweth not how to seck it-self in any tâ—ing whatsoeuer Let this Loue wholy posses my soul and hart which I beseech thee may liue and moue only in and out of a pure and sincere loue to thee who aboue all ought to be loued and desired Let this fire which thou camst into this world to send and willedst it should burn consume me wholy into it self that forgetful of my self and al created things I may be mindfull of thee my Lord and my God It is thy pâ—omise that where sin â—ath abounded graâ—e shall superbound that the riches of thy Merâ—y may appear and shew it-self to the Glory of thy holy Name which Mercy I beseech thee extend itself â—o me that I may praise thee for euer and euer O that thy pure loue were â—o grounded and established in my hart that I might sigh and pant â—ithout ceasing after thee and be â—ble in the strength of this thy Loue â—o live without alâ— comfort and conâ—olation human or diuine therby â—o become the more conformable to â—hee the beloued of my soul O how â—appy are they that truly loue tâ—ee â—ertainly whatsoeuer they suffer it â—â— very tolerable to them beâ—aus he or whose loue they suffer is thâ—ir helâ—er Indeed my Lord thou art a hiden God but yet not so hidden from â—ur soul but that in some sort we â—aue therin according to our poor â—apacities not only a tast but also sight of thee for as euen thou thy self hast said Blessed are the cleane of hart for they shall see God O sight to be wished desired and longed forâ— becaus once to haue seen thee is to haue learnt al things Nothing can bring vs to this sight but loue But what loue must it be Not a sensible loue only a childish loue a loue which seeketh it-self more then the beloued No but it must bâ— an ardent loue a pure loue a couradgious loue a loue of Charity anâ— humble loue and a constant loue not worn out with labours noâ— daunted with any difficulties O Lord giue this loue vnto my soul that â— may neuer more liue nor breath buâ— out of a most pure loue of thee my All and only Good let me loue thee foâ— thy self and nothing els but in anâ— for thee Let me loue nothing in steeâ— of thee For to giue al for loue is â—â— most sweet bargain for Loue is as stronâ— as death O that this thy loue might floâ— in such aboundance into the harâ— of al capable therof that the sonâ— of thy loue and Praise might contiâ—nually be heard through out al the earth O what do we do louing vanity and seeking a lye What do â—â—e abusing the most noble capacity of our souls by desiring that which passeth away like smoak What do â—â—e louing that which is more changeable then the Moon Can any â—hing satiate our harts but our God Can we find true repose out of him â—s any thing worthy of our loue but â—hat Goodnes which is loue it-self and â—hom the more we loue the more we â—re able to loue becaus for loue he made vs capable of loue But alas my God my soul was in honour â—nd I knew not it I was compared â—o beasts and by sin became like to â—hem or worse then they Is this my equital for al thy loue Is this exâ—usable that my soul made by theeâ—o â—o be delighted with the food of â—ngels which is loue should delight â—â—-self with the bread of swine O is â—y hart able to rehears this before â—â—ee and not through excessiue grief â—reak in sunder Could I in my nature not abide to be diâ—loyall to one whom I found to be a faithful friend to me and can I endure to remember my disloyalty to my God Could I with ioy vndergo for my friend disgrace and difficulty and can I endure nothing for my God Was the absence of a deare friend intolerable to me and can I abide to see my self cease at any time to sigh and long after my God O no my God let that be far from me I heere renounce before heauen and earth al inordinate affections to creâ—tures Place with thy own hands tâ—â— loue in their roomâ— that it expelling thence al â—hat now is therein dâ—â—pleasing to tâ—ine eyes thou maâ—â— thy selâ— wholy posses me giuing and distributing my affections and disposing the passions of my haâ—â— according to thy sweet will which only is iust only holy and true iâ— it-self C how sinceare then are oâ— affections when we loue our neigâ—â—bour only in and for thee Theâ—â— we pitty not one and are hard harted to another according to the inclination of our peruerse nature but behold thee in al and consequently willingly serue and assist al for thy loue then we do not shew our seues meek only to our friends but also to those by whom we suffer most contradiction and gladly vpon all occasions extend our charity For there is no true friendship but that which is founded vpon thee and which is maintained without impediment to thy loue This is only the loue of Charity which Charity knoweth not how to repine to be angry to be exceptious to be inconstant to be troublesom to be suspicious or iealous for it regardeth thee in al and desireth thee aboue al It taketh al in good part it wondreth not to see men exceed in words finding it-self so often to offend in
this was not the practise of Saints who yet sound often great opposition and mortification by meanes of Supeâ—iors which they bearing patiently and obeying stil out of an internalâ—egard â—egard of thee in their souls al turned to their greater aduancement in â—hy loue and their Superiors at last â—y thy help concurred to that which â—hey desired so far as it was thy wil who hast disposed of al things in order and iustice and nothing can be wel done but that we do out of an internal light from thee and out of obedience to thee to whom obedience is due in al things whatsoeuer Thou hast set an order in al things and euery thing as it is ordained by thee wil concur to a most heauenly harmony but corrupting thy meaning al things are out of order and peace on al sides is disturbed O how happy are they whose souls are in a right way to hear and follow thy wil and who do nothing without consulting with thee in their soul giuing that to God which is only Gods own and to Caesar that which is due to Caesar for God for both these obediences are necessary to make a true spiritual life For in vaine do we giue to thee if we deny Obedience to them who are set ouer vs by thee and also in vaine is it to please and haue the fauour of our Superiors if we internally neglecâ— to haue in al things relation to thee from both these errors deliuer me I beseech thee that my soul may be a peaceful habitation for thee Let me humbly behaue my-self towards al and let me not measure my case before thee by the opinion my Superiors and Sisters haue of me for they may applaud me and yet it may stand il with me before thee and they may take al in another worser sense then thou knowst I meant it and that iustly and yet it may go wel between thy goodnes and me through thy abound Mercy THE XLIV CONFESSION O How happy are those souls who loue nothing but thee Verily there is so little stability in al things but in thee that it is a strange thing that we should liue so miserable liues thou offering vs a most peaceful and quiet life if we would but seek thee alone who art more present to vs then we are to our selues and by thee our soul doth liue more then our body doth by our soul Those that posses thee haue al things and those who want thee if they had al the world can afford do yet indeed posses nothing If we desire to loue where our loue may not be lost what shall we loue but thee whâ— hast said Sicut dilexit me Pater ego dilexi vos As my Father loued me so haue I loued you Do we not therefor wel deserue to liue in al perplexity and misery if we do not leaue to loue al other things to set our whole loues vpon thee â—ho hast made vs such sweet promises yea let vs hear what thou dost further add Qui maneâ— in me ego in eo hic fert fructum multum Who remaineth in me and I in him bringeth forth much frâ—ict O let me be remain in thee and then let al the world be against me I desir not my God by any particular fauours in this life to be more certain of thee But I do beg of thee that by true Humility Obedience and Patience I may be more confirmed in thee by true loue only in simple faith in al desolations crosses pains disgraces miseries adhering to thee the only desire of my soul and not resting in any gift or grace of thine whatsoeuer that I may at last for thy oâ—n sake find fauour in the eyes of thy Diuine Maiesty notwirhstanding my sins and ignorances in which I haue hetherto liued for whieh thy mercy oâ— forgiuing them me be thou for euer blessed and praised by al thy creatures Amen Amen THE XLV CONFESSION O Lord my God to whom vpon al occasions I most vnworthy with thy leaue presume to speak and ask questions in my simple maner Open the eyes of my soul that I may know and vnderstand thy Wil and Law and Grace to perform them to thine honour Thou my God who art more mine then I am mine own do not reiect me speaking and writing to thee For what do I desir or wish but thee Or what are al things to me without thee Surely nothing For thou hast shewed me through thy sweet mercyâ— and grace without any desert of mine own that al things are vanity but to loue and please thee which I beseech thee that I may do with al the forces of my hart and soul. For truly there is no true peace or comfort out of thee Let me therefor know my-self and know thee that in al I may praise and please thee Amen THE XLVI CONFESSION LORD it is read to day of thee that Saint Mary Magdalen approaching to kis thy feet it would not be admitted her by thee If it may please thee I wil humbly aske of thee the meaning of this For I am somewhat amazed at it For when she came to thy feet loaden with many and greiuous sins thou admittedâ—â— her most easily and when she had a long time been trained vp in thy happy school of Perfection and had accompanied thee in thy Passion and mourned for thee at thy tomb taking no rest til thou her beloued returned to her again and besids she offered to haue taken thee away from al the world if they would haue but told her where they had laid thee and yet dost thou now deny her to touch and kis thy blessed feet What shal we think she loued thee less now then when she first desired to loue thee Or shal we think that as her loue grew more and more to thee thine grew less and less to her No God forbid I should euer admit of such a thought But O my Lord thou being â—isedom it-self intendedst to bring this great and ardent louer to a loue more spiritual then that with which she loued thee when tâ—ou conuersedst with her before thy death and Passion For it is thy custom with great mildnes to receaue sinners and when they grow more strong in loue thou seemest to treat them with more seuerity that they at first may hope in thee and go forward in thy loue and seruice and that after being a litle strengthned with light and comfort from thee thou mayst try them many ways least they should attribut that which they haue done to their own forces and that fauour which they haue receaed to their own labours and deserts which thou knowst we are very apt to do if thou didst not through permitting vs to fal into temptation shew vs our own frailty But this blessed Saint whose intercession I most humbly implore for thy sake whom now none can depriue her of did not think that by denying her to touch tâ—y feet she receaued wrong
For her humble soul thought it-self too vnworthy of such a fauour when thou didst put her in mind that she was to conuers with thee in a more spiritual maner then before neither did she reflect on the labour pain and grief she had sustained For as thou knowst loue feeleth no labour nor complaineth of any burthen For only to haue seen thee aliue again was sufficient to make her forget al former afflictions For her sake and for al their sakes that loue thee be merciful to my sins and bring me by true loue to be vnited to thee with them where for euer without ceasing I may praise thee my only beloued Amen THE XLVII CONFESSION O LORD my God I wil speak to thee again and again I wil cal vpon thee the entierly beloued of my hart I wil melt away in thy praises and I wil inuite al thy spouses to to seek thee alone aboue al thy giâ—ts and aboue al creatures For in thee alone is true peaee and comfort to be found and enjoyed O how happy should I esteem my self if I were able to praise thee without ceasing or be any cause that any should more and more languish with thy loue What should I do being born down with the weight of mortal flesh and diuers internal afflictions so that I can many times scarsly think on thee What should I do I sayâ— but liâ—t vp my hart with my hands as it were by main force sometimes by words and sometimes by writing vnto thee which I do not do as to one that is farr of from me but as to one who is more neere to me then I am to my-self and of whose Goodnes whose Wisedom whâ—se Beawty whose Mercy and most absolut and incomparable greatnes I am more assured of then I am of any thing I see with my corporal eyes O who would not loue this Goâ—nes this Maiesty and submit them-selues â—o this most amiable beloued oâ— our souls If any comfort or happines were to be found out of him we were somthing excusable in negâ—ecting and forgetting our chief good â—ut seeing we cannot euen in this mortal liâ—e find any content but by louing praising and truly seeking and seruing him we are too miserable and too blame for loosing our-selues by resting with loue and inordinat affection in transitory and visible things O far be it from thy spouses to set their affection vpon any thing bâ—â— thee or to bereaue thee of the affection which from al is to thee only due Al that we are and haue is too little for thee Let vs not therefor of that little we haue take from thee O let vs loue thee aboue al and al others in and â—or thee I do bemoan this misery aboue al miseries that those who haue dedicated themselues to thee should seek the loue and fauour of others to their own and the others impediment in thy loue and seruice Oâ—tentimes we comply and correspond vnder pretence to get temporal means the while neglecting thee who feedest the birds and clothest the beasts of the earth who neither sow not reap neither are they solicitous of any thing but depend of thy meere prouidence and yet thou prouidest for them Can we think thou wilt haue less care of vs that haue left al the world for thee then of the vnreasonnable creatues made only for our seruices Hast not thou said by the Spirit of al truth that first seek for the Kingdom of God and his iustice al things els sâ—al be added to you O let vs therefor leaue al things truly that we may confide in thee casting our care vpon thee who wilt nourisâ— our souls and bodies if we wil but faithfully and constantly adhere vnto thee our supreame and only Good Let vs leaue pretending any thing but thee For often euen vnder the pretence of getting praiers of others we poure out our-selues in the meane time neglecting to haue relation to thee who wouldst more willingly giue then we could ask if we would but truly and faithfully adhere to thee and not stray out of our selues hindering both our selues and others from adhering to thee to whom we owe al we are and can do and and therefor are greatly to blame when we do not endeauour to loue thee with al our soul with al our mind and al our strength which grant for thy own sake we may endeauour to do to thy honour and glory who be praised loued and adored for al eternity Amen THE XLVIII CONFESSION SHAL not my soul be subiect to God O my Lord far be it from me to wil or desire any thing but according to thy diuine wil which is only holy Let me neuer resist thy wil signified to me by any means whatsoeuer Let my soul be wholy turned into a flame of diuine loue that I may aspire and tend to nothing els but thy-self alone Blot out my sins that my soul may return to thee by loue from whom by sin it hath strayed O let nothing but this desir of thee my God posses my hart Let that be my solace in labours pains temptations desolations and al afflictions of body or mind Let not my hart drawn by thee to seek after nothing but loue be so base as to couet desir and rest in any thing but thee Thou art my life my choice and my only beloued When I hear theâ— but named my Lord God it forcible draweth me into my-self that I may attend vnto thee forgetting my-self and whatsoeuer els besids thee for which benefit be thou inâ—initly praisâ—d Amen THE XLIX CONFESSION OMNIS â—piritus lâ—udet Dominum Bonedicite omnia opera Domini Domino laudate super exaltate eum in saeoula Let euery spirit praise our Lordâ— Blesse our Lord al the works of oâ—â— Lord praise and exalt him for euer O my God that I were able with a pure soul and louing hart to extol thy praise But alas thy praise is not seemly in the mouth of a sinner But shal I for this hold my peace If I do yet permit me this comfort for thine own sake that I may inuite others more worthy to sing and set forth the praise of thy diuine Maiesty with whom yet as the last and least my soul shal ioin in the praise of thee our deare Creator and in that which is so worthily possessed by thy sweet Goodnesâ— I wil rejoice with al the forces of my hart and soul O my holy and deare delight what a most harmonious melody would refound ouer al the earth if thy wil and iust disposition took place in al things Behold al thy works praise thee euery one in their kind only man for whose help and comfort al other things on â—arth were created â— peruerteth the order of thy Iustice by miâ—uâ—ing that noble free wil which thou gauest him to choose and loue thee with O what couldst thou haue done more then with such a noble gift to haue endued vs Certeinly
or obtain they are farther from being satisfyed then they were before It is true the more we loue thee the more we desire to loue thee And the more we loue the more able we are to loue and the more easy it is to loue and loue making al pains confusions difficulties and afflictions sweet what is there left to suffer Only indeed the hiding of thy face and denying vs fully to enioy thee this only remains to pearce our harts with if we truly loue and yet thy iust wil is a consolation euen in the greatest extremity of this difficulty Who would therefor not loue thee wholy forgetting themselues and their own profit and commodity either for time or eternity Certainly the Prophets Martyrs Confessors and Virgins that loued thee more then their liues found torments bannishments imprisonments and persecutions sweeter by reason of their loue to thee and of their desiring to be faithful to thy amiable Maiesty then al the pleasures contentments riches honours and glory of the world did euer yet yeald to those that haue most abounded therewith since the beginning of the world O if we could ask Salomon for al the aboundance he liued in and S. Francis in his pouerty or S. Laurence vpon his Gridiron and certainly both by his acknowledgment and theirs their pouerty and pain through loue were sweeter then al his delights euen in this world yea euen Iob sitting vpon the Dunghil and saying God gaue and God hath taken away as it pleaseth our Lord so let it be his name be blessed for euer enioyed more comfort and true peace in soul then al the comforts and pleasures of this world could giue or haue caused to him For only submission to thee my deare God bringeth true comfort to our souls O if we did truly humble ouâ— selues how greatly would thy goodnes be exalted in our souls If we did seek thee not thy gifts graces and comforts how then should we go out of our selues and therby enter into thee O if we were rruly humble how much wouldst thou be pleased to be serued by vs and how many do fare the better for thy humble ones though they be hidden and vnknown for such to the worldâ— Certeinly the humble are so deare to thee that thou seemest not willing or able to do any thing without them For while vnmindful of al but thee they forget themselues thou in â— the meane time enrichest them with thine own works that they may merit more grace glory and fauour before tâ—ee in al things thou dost or permittest to which to the vttermost of their power they concurre by humble resignation if they can do no more which is sufficient to satisfy thee who needest not our works or labours but it is our harts souls and loues that thou requirest and by which thou wilt do good to vs or by vs. What thou thinkest meet for vs to do or to be able to do ought to be indifferent to vs who should haue no wil but thine nor any election but of thee Wel may it be said that where Humility is there is also Wisedom For the truly humble being guided by thy interior Truth and Iustice more then by human wisedom surpasse the weaknes of their own folly for so al wisedom may be esteemed that is not from thee and in thy light by which light only we can discern the glorious truth and not by the natural light of our weak vnderstanding that is not able without a beame of thy Grace to discouer such truth so blind is our soul of it-self without tâ—ee and it is only true humility that maketh vs capable of this thy light And yet if a soul had been with S. Paul in the third Heauen if she should leaue the way of Humility she would return to her former blindnes and the more she by vsurping thy gifts and graces to herself did puff vp her self the more al true light and discretion would depart from her soul and the more het folly would appeare to heauen and earth to her great confusion both in this life and in the next if she did not return and come to know her own nothing For as it is truly said The corruption of the best is the worst O Lord deliuer al from this accursed sin of pride which turned Angels into most vgly diuels and hath been the caâ—se of the separation of so many souls created by thee to enioy eternal felicity from thee my God But especially deliuer those from this most odious vice who haue had the means by the mercy of thy sweet Goodnes to come to some true knowledg of thee and themselues For if we knew al and could discourse with al the wit and eloquence of the Philosophers Orators and Diuines of the causes and effects of al natural and supernatural things yet if we did not know thee by endeauouring truly to loue thee we might truly be said to know nothing For only by louing thee and knowing our selues is true Wisedom obtained And how can it but peruert al true Iustice that thou art by so few in comparison of the whole world sought with a pure intention If we being almost to death benumed with cold should for remedy go forth into the blustering and far colder wind or in the scortching heat of sommer should for mitigation therof to our body go to an hot flaming fire who would not iudg vs euen out of our witts for our so doing Euen so we when wanting supernatural light that is true light and necessary for the guidance of vs in the way towards thee we in lieu of seeking after that light and of taking the means to come by it do betake vs onâ—y to our natural light the which as to the said supernatural end is but meere blindnes and darknes and thus proceeding in assuming for our means the contrary oâ— that wâ— should we prosper both in our practice and in our end accordingly The things which we practise as vertues being indeed no true vertues for want of the discretion that it necessary for the perfection of themâ— and the which discretion is but the self same as the light had from thee wherby often-times our pretended vertues come to haue more of vices then of true vertues in them such defect proceeding out of this that indeed in our inâ—ard and secret consciences we think that we are able to do that which is right and proâ—itable of our own selues and without light and ability for it from thee And when harm falleth to vs or to others by such our blind proceedings we lay the fault of it vpon thee where it is notâ— and not vpon our selues where indeed it is O ler this folly also be far from vs for thou art iust O my Lord and thy iudgments are equity how hidden soeuer thy meaning in them be to our souls I for my part desire to adore thee in al thou disposest and do most gladly acknowledg that al
wil and pleasure may be perfectly accomplished in al creatures and last of al though not with the least affection I offer to thee this thy Conuent wherof though very vnworthy of such a fauour as to liue in such a happy company I am a poor imperfect member beseeching thee for thy owâ—e sake and by the loue thou bearest to al such as truly seek to please thee alone that thou wilâ— mercifully enrich their souls with the most aboundant gifts of thy grace so that their whole study may be to please praise and worship thee in spirit and truth and especially I offer thee thoâ—e therein that haue done do or shal heerafter by their patience in supporting the defects of their Sisters and helping them by that meanes to beare their burthen and by their giuing good example in Humility Obedience and other vertues be a meane or helpe to the maintaining of Peace in this thy house towards which thou hast shewed so much Prouidence that if we cast not our whole care both for body and soul vpon thee we shal not deserue the fauâ—urs thou hast shewed to vs. We are thy little flock keepe thou euer possession of vs let vs be of one mind and of one hart and let vs al and euery one with one consent according to thy grace giuen vs simply intend and regard â—hee in al we do tâ—ink speak or desire thou hast called vs and gathered vs together send vs a good life and a happy death to thy Praise Honour and Glory who art God of al things and to whom now and for euer be giuen al Laud and Praise by al creatures Amen Amen Delicta iuuentutis meae ignorantias meas ne memineris Domine Ab oâ—cultis meis munda me Domine ab alienis parce seruo tuo O Domine Spes mea delicta quis entelligit O my God my deare delight and al my hâ—ppines Thou knowst I groan in spirit against my-self to think that I made no more hast to couclude an euerlasting league and peace with thee my God! O teach me to loue or let me not liue thou only canst do al things and I as tâ—ou wel knowst can do nothing Behold I desiâ—e to leaue al to find thee and to dy to al created things to the end I may liue only in and to thee I desire only thee and to reâ—urn to thee the beginning of al creatures and the supreame beloued of al chast souls O how powerful is thy true loue in a pure soul O purify my hart and soul so that nothing but thy loue may liue in me O when shal I see my soul vnited to thee O when by true loue shal my soul languish for thee O when shal I be wholy turned into the loue of thee O that I might do in al things that which is pleasing to thee O when shal my soul by transcending al created things become capable by Charity of embracing thee in the bottom of my poor soul O loue loue loâ—e what wonderful effects dost tâ—ou work in a soul Thy loue my God doth sweeten al miâ—eriâ—s aâ—d maketh light al burthens and labours Verily nothing in the wâ—rld is so delightâ—ful to them that loue it and haue as much of it as they can desire and enioy al the pleasures and contents thereof as it is to a louing soul that sincerely seeketh thee to suffer for thy loue O my God what do we loose euen in this life when we wish for loue or desire any thing besids thee It is only loue that draweth thee down to vs and eleuateth vs vp to thee O who would not suffer any thing to obâ—ain this loue Nothing can comfort or satisfy my soul but to loue thee When wilt thou replenish my hart with thy pure loue that resteth in thee aboue thy gifts that my soul may truly adore thee in spirit and truth Thou knowst that no grasse doth so wither for want of water as doth my poor sinful soul for want of â—hy loue O that without ceasing I could praise thee As the sâ—ag or hart beiug tired with pursuit doth thirst and pant after a sweet Spring so doth my soul after thee it hauing been much more tired with streying from thee then the poor hart can be by being chaced by his enemâ—es by as much more as it is more greiuous to be hurt by ones self then to haue it done by others O wâ—en shal I in al things do thy wil that my actions may be iust and plâ—asing to thee O when shal I so humble my-self â—hat I may be worthy in some sort to praise thee whom now for my pride I am not fit to name Iesu Son of Dauid haue mercy on me and of thy great pitty and Charity remember me among the Whelps that expect and beg vnder thy table for one crum of grace from thee Where but vnder the shaddow of thy wings shal I repose from the heat of al inordinate paâ—â—ions and desires and from that mid-day Sun that parcheth and withereth away the new spriggs or leaues of my new sowen desir of louing praising and pleasing thee alone my Lord and my God Who but thy self by thy swâ—et grace can preserue mâ— from fâ—lling into my old sins and sorrowes Thou therefor art my only Refâ—ge in this day of my tribulation and amidst the storms of this world to thee I reueale my cause be thou my strength and my Glory that I may at last laying down the burthen of this mortal flesh be admitted into that place where I may Praise thee for euer and euer Amen O my God when shal that time come that I shal neuer more offend thee This is the mâ—sery wherein I languish and which maketh this world tedious to me This only is truly to be tearmed an affliction and misery and nothing is truly to be accounted misery but to displease thy diuine Maiesty Iesu Son of Dauid haue mercy on my sinful soul. O how happy are those that loue thee O loue loue loue of my God how far is my sinful soul from the happines of enioying thee as my soul desireth Nothing is sweet to a hart that desireth to loue her God but to sigh long and pant after him O who wil giue me the wings of a Doue that I may fly into the open wounds of my beloued O my God my oâ—ly desire how long shal I thus be estranged from thee the God of my hart and my portion for euer O the most dearly beloued of my soul how long shal I by inordinatly adhering to created things bâ— so far from louing thee as I ought to do O thou who only deserueth our loue my God and my al Lord my God who alone art good and iust shal I any longer loue uanity and seek after a lye How long shal thy dispositions and most righteous ordinances be dâ—spleasing to thy poore seruant How long shal I resist thy diuine wil Verily my God in this my misery I sigh
THE SPIRITVAL EXERCISES OF THE MOST VERTVOVS and Religious D. GERTRVDE MORE of the holy Order of S. Bennet and English Congregation of our Ladies of Comfort in Cambray she called them Amor ordinem nescit And Ideots Deuotions Her only Spiritual Father and Directour the Ven. Fa. Baker stiled them Confessiones Amantis A Louers Confessions Amans Deum anima sub Deo despicit vniuersa A soul that loueth God despiseth al things that be inferiour vnto God Imit l. 2. c. 5. Printed at Paris by LEWIS DE LA FOSSE in the Carme street at the signe of the Looking Glasse M. DC L VIII VVith Approbation REnowned More whose bloody Fate England neer yet could expiate Such was thy constant Faith so much Thy Hope thy Charity was such As made thee twise a Martyr proue Of Faith in Death in Life of Loue View heer thy Grandchilds broken Harâ— Wounded with a Seraphick Dart. Who while she liu'd mortals among Thus to her Spouse Diuine she sung Mirrour of Beauty in whose Face The essence liues of euery Grace True lustre dwels in thy sole spheare Those glimmerings that sometimes appearâ— In this dark vayl this gloomy night Are shadows tipt with glow worm lightâ— Shew me thy radiant parts aboue VVbere Angels vnconsumed moue VVhere amourous fire maintaines their liâ—â— As man by breathing Air suruiâ—es But if perâ—hance the mortal eye That views thy dazling looks mnst dye VVith blind faith heer I le kis them desiâ— To feele the heat before I see the fire D. GERTRVDE MORE MAGNES AMORIS AMOR. R. Lochâ—m sculpâ—it TO THE R. MOTHER The R. Mother Bridgit More of Saint Peter and Saint Paul most vvorthy Prioresse of the English Benedictin Nunns of our Lady of Hope in Paris REVEREND MOTHER This deuout Book comes to you of right being your natural sisters excellent Goods and there is no other heire left to it but your desâ—ruing self besids I know few or none do any way â—retend to it but you and your Religious â—â—ock who exactly trace by true practice â—ô Practice diuine practice the only â—eans the same holy paths this booke â—reats of Take and acccept of it therfore R. MOTHER I guesse I need not much inuite you for I dare say it wil be most deare to you and most highly esteemed by you and yours If it chance to fal into the hands of any such as may reiect or cry it down as some few did the Ideots Deuotions of the same Spirit lately set forth it wil as that did but receiue the greater luster thereby and be more highly prised by how much it may be misprised by such sensual persons as relish not the Spirit of God or whose vain and flashing wits as it were spurn at the Diuine and true heauenly Vvisedom That it hath some hands set in thâ— margin and diuers characters in many places to point out certain matter and make them more remarakable is noâ— but that in a maner euery line and syllable is most remarkable and worthy tâ— be obserued And that some places oâ— Scripture are quoted in the margin anâ— not al is becaus those be the more cleaâ— plain and vnmingled texts though thâ— whole Book hath nothing in it almost buâ— Scripture And if there be somewhat in the latter end the very same with what is said in the preface it wil not much annoy since good aduise cannot be too often rtpeated I will say nothing of the admirable graces and guifts of the Authour let the Book speak them becaus I should seeme thereby to praise and extol you her natural Sister and imbued with the same natural and supernatural guifts then which nothing would be more vngrateful and distastful vnto you Howsoeuer R. MOTHER giue me leaue to inuite and incite you and your Holy Company to go on cheerefully and couradgiously in these sacred and secret Paths of Diuine Loue. VVith your Beauty and Fairnes intend proceed prosperiously and reign Let the wisemen or rather wits of the world laugh at you They senseless think your life Madnes and your vvaies dishonourable Be not I say dismayed For your Truth Mildnes Iustice and your Right hand which is is your Spiritual Praier vvil marueillously conduct you So desirous to be partaker of yeur holy Prayers and committing you to the Diuine Protection I rest euer R. MOTHER Your most humble seruant and faithful friend in our Lord. F. G. THIS DEVOVT SOVLS ADVERTISEMENT to the Reader VVith an Apology for herself and her spiritual Guide and Director the V. F. Augustin Baker VVherein is excellently described a true interne contemplatiue Spiritual life and the maner how to liue happily in it with right and true Obedience to God an man IT may seeme very strange and that very iustly that I should write what heere I haue written But when I haue heer declared my reason for it I may perhaps pas with thâ— censure only of being a little presumptuous Yet God who is my witnes in al and my â—esire aboue al knoweth vpon what grounds I haue done it And that it is but for mine own priuate comfort and helpe and to be seene by no other but against my wil my superiors only excepted from whom as they shal require I wil not conceale the very secrets of my hart much lesse this which I haue written to lye by me wherein there may be what they may mislike and correct to which I shal most willingly submit my-self Yea and though it seeme to me to be a great help to me to haue that which I haue writ in more light to read when I am either in obscurity of temptation or other bodily indisposition to which I may be often incident Yet I wil suppresse it at their command and good pleasure and put the want thereof willingly to the hazard out of confidence in the assistance of God who is a louer and rewarder of Obedience VVhich vertue howsoeuer it may be otherwise thought I honour from my hart and beleeue verily that notâ—â—ng that I do which doth not pertake of that is of any regard at al with God This I haue thus affirmed becaus he who hath been my Maister and Father in a spiritual life and hath brought me into a course which much satisfieth my soul and conscience between me and God It tending to nothing but to loue God by seeking him aboue al Graces and Guifts And by withdrawing all inordinate affection from al created things to become fâ—ee to loue and praise God in as pure and perfect a manet as this life wil admit And also to true submission and subiection of myself for God to whomsoeuer he puts ouer me in this life with as great a contempt of my-self as my frailty can reach vnto Is notwithstanding taxed now by the same words in a manner which were alleaged against our blessed Sauiour VVe haue found this man subuerting the people and forbidding to giue tribute to Caesar. VVhich though none can iustly
to make this or that soul humble but to bring them into such feare that they neither dare speak think or do any thing without their approbation At least so far they must haue relation to them as it may serue this turn to informe them of what is for their purpose and then that soul is happy in their eyes and they wil declare that they are so to others that they may follow their example Then the perplexity the soul suffereth they tearme a profitable pil to cure their disease with al. And the confusion they suffer to see themsâ—lues disloyal to God and man to serue their Confessors turn he tearmeth a suffering for Iustice and warranteth them what harme disquiet or confusion soeuer cometh by this their doings to others or themselues out of Obedience to him he wil answere for it and therin they haue done God and their Congregation great and faithful seruice O misery that al this should be fathered vpon holy Obedience the most noble of al vertues who sees not that this is a turnâ—ng of religious Obedience in those that simply desire to performe it to a policy abominable to be thought or named O my Gâ—d was this thy meaning when we vowed our selues to thee Or rather didst not Thou say be as wise as Serpents and simple as Doues Thou didst not say be so foolish vnder pretence of blinde Obedience that thou shalt not know thy right hand from the left Thou bidst vs giue to Caesar what is Caesars and to Thee what is Thine By truly obeying thy wil Law and Euangelical counsels we grow wiser But by pretending to practise Obedience Charity Humility Patience c. in perfection before we be ripe for itâ— through perseuerant prayer and concurrence of thy grace which doâ—h not such things suddenly we loose al and liue in blindnes and the highest we come to is sâ—ruile feare and meere folly O happy are they to whom God giueth an aptnes for an internal Contemplatiue life and withal some one who may instruct them in it Verily the mosâ— part of souls in this howseâ— who haue been fit for it haue been sâ—tisfied with so few instructions that in a manner they might be expressed in fiue liues As for example thaâ— they Transcend Feare and Tend to God bâ— the exercise of the wil by which in timâ— as pleaseth God al impediments shal bâ— remoued between God and their soulâ— VVhich Blosius warranteth a perseueriâ— soul in his â—nstitutions very confidently But alas those that are not in this simpâ— way haue such an apprehension of a spirâ—â—tual internal life and make it seeme so perillous and dangerous that souls would be frighted exceedingly to read their books and hear their Sermons which cannot be auoided possibly if they were not armed with armour of proof by God and those who liue in and walke this happy way of simplicity Which whosoeuer truly walketh wil not coÌ„demn much lesse contemne those who speake against it but humble themselues in al things knowing that others who liue extrouerted liues may be more pleasing to God then they that for many reasons which they may easily conceiue And yet it doth not hinder these at least it ought not from prosecuting their ways to which they are called and in which by God Almighties infinit mercy they haue so many books of Fa. Bakers own writing and transcribing to encourage and comfort them in al the opposition which Gâ—d doth permit only for our exercise and not by it that we should be put out of our way through our defect in patience which the very exercisers of vs would for the most pâ—rt be very sorry for if it should so happen how soeuer the publick instrument and other speechs do sound to vs. For who can doubt that is a wise man that a soul that hath a good and found natural iudgment solid Contemplatiue instructions many in the house that practise the same doctrine aright and a quiet nature seconded with concurrence of God Almighties Grace and goeth in al the way of Abnegation and Resignation should passe many years without cause of questions about her interior For who doubteth but the soul may loue God more and more euery day and extend her wil as infinitly towards God as she can and beare al occurring difficulties with as much patience as she can and performe her ordinary obediences by the orders of the house and particular ordinances of Superiors with as much relation to God and out of Obedience to him as she can and al this without any great questions Yea the forsaid course of spirit in a manner taketh away al occasion of questions at least of intricate questions which draweth the soul our of her interior more then into it And by the way I say this that those souls who are apt to aske questions though they be neuer so quiet deuout innocent natures or haue neuer so much wit and iudgement they wil neuer prospâ—r in a contemplatiue course and in those instructions And therefor wil do wel and much better to take the ordinary instructions of these days and it were wel if such souls neuer heard nor read â—ontemplatiue books and instructions becaus they mis-vnderstanding them wil make both them-selues and others also with them to lay the defect which was only in them vpon the vnfitnes of the instructions for woman for it wil seeme to them that they cannot possibly be practised by women without perils and dangers vnspeakable which wrong done to souls put out of their way by this means who would haue happily prospered therin redoundteh to the dishonor of Almighty God But yet as it seemes to them that they caÌ„not be practised without great danger So those on the contrary who are fit and capable for these ways see and experience how little peril there is in them for can a soul be too humble and loue God too wel No certainly And this is al the course of this internal life and to this only it tends to loue God and to humble our selues Let vs therefor make that benefit God willeth we should by these oppositions and contradictions we find and feel from ouâ— Order to wit To humble our-selues in al and behaue our selues with al respect and Obedience to them as if they had done nothing Let vs encouradge one another to this and let vs not think God cannot be wel serued by any other course then this For certainly the Iesuits who haue the perfection in their institute of the Actiue life are in a very proper course for their kind of life for that spiritual exercise which they yearly take doth them much good and maketh them deale with the more pure intention in their actionâ— and affairs being also strenthned with a daily recollection wâ—â— maketh them foresee many inconueniences and thereby preuent them better then they who do giue them-selues to no such thing for who can think but it helpeth a man much to proceed with the more prudence
do if they haue not in al things relation to thee the only true wisedom and in whose light is true light only to be seen By louing thee and dying to them-selues in al things they would become maisters of themselues and al the world Then nothing would moue them nothing would affright them becaus thou wouldst be their coÌ„fort and stay in al things Certainly there is a wonderful difference between the Obedience which a soul that liueth an internal life giueth to a Superior and that which we giue out of custom The fomer is slow at first and seemeth very defectiue therin the other so violent many times at first that it coÌ„tinueth not longt he former groweth more strong and firme euery day then other and the later groweth oftentimes a greather burthen euery day then other Certainly a soul that pretendeth to liue an internal spiritual life and yet hath not a great esteeme of Obedience is much to be feared and in great peril of errors yet that which in these days is tearmed Obedience I do not mean for I knew one who hauing a Confessor that had much difficulty with her though he aâ—â—irmed that it was a great breach of Obedience to haue relation while he bore that place to any other yet she made vse in cases of difficulâ—y with leaue of an higher Superior of another whom she thought more able to iudge in that which concerned her and yet she hopeth this was no breach of Obedience for if she had thought that God in this case had exacted of her not â—o haue gon to another she would what difficulty soeuer she had endured haue made vse of no other But this she thought was not his pleaâ—ure becaus she was in a probability to fal into great inconueniences if she treated with him in an inward maner VVho professed by his deeds and words to take aduantage of any thing she could that might serue his turn as far as he could in conscience beside the dâ—fficulty he had with her in his nature made him incapable of iudging aright in that which belonged to her for that difficulâ—y of his made him misapprehend al she did or said If she held her peace she neglected him if she spoke she did it to sound him â—o serue her own turn if she was compassionate towards him in his infirmities she flattered him if she offered him not that which he stood need of she was auerted from him And thus it passed between them which made her haue as little to do with him as Obedience to higher powrs would permit her for by their ordeâ— she was to confesse weekly to him which was no smal difficulty â—o her but she knowing it to be Gods wil did it out of Obedience to him to whom if we do as we ought we must be subiect in al things without exceptions And this is the benefit of an internal life that makes one capable of seeing and knowing of Gods wil and also most ready to performe it which way soeuer he signifies it to them and makes them obey as readily and willingly a simple impertinent Superâ—or as they would an Angel or the wisest creaâ—ure in the World Yea if a worm or any creature weâ—e ordaâ—ned by God to rule ouer them they would see and embrace with al their harts his wil by them for without this total subiection to God it is impossible to become truly spiritual for if we resist his wil in our Superiors in vain do we pretend to please him We must learn therefor this vertue of him that true Humility and Obedience may be out stay in al vvhich tvvo vertues together vvith the diuine vertue of Discâ—eâ—ion he vvil teach vs if vve labour to become more and more humble for seeing that it is his wil vve should obey and become truly humble Hovv can vve doubâ— but he vvil giue vs the Gracé if vve â—umbly and peâ—seuerantly beg it of him and practise them vpon occasion as vvel as vve can for he him-self saith VVhen we aske our father bread he doth not giue vs a stone nor if we asko him a fiâ—h he doth not giue vs a serpent much les wil he deny vs vvhat is necessary to make vs pleasing to him if we seekâ— or desire nothing but by true loue to be faithful to him O Prayer Prayer able to obtain al things O hovv cometh it to passe my Lord that this Omnipotent prayer as some of thy deare seruants stile it should be so vnknovvn yea euen by them vvhom thâ—â— tearmest the salt of the earth contemned at least as to the practise of poore simple vvomen for vvom they hold it aboue al things most dangerous euen to mine ovvn knovvledg as I hauâ— knovvn affirmed by Superiors of seueral Orders O misery to be lamented most hartily by those that haue a tast in Praier and by the effect therof knovv how sweet a thing it is to attend only and wholy to the prayse and loue of God Surely the vvant of the wisedom vvhich by praier the Saints did gain is the teason vvhy custome in al things doth take place for the most part in the world of true reason The vvorld surely vvas neuer râ—formed of sins and errors but by the wisedom vvhich cometh from God and is far different from that vvhich is accounted vvisedom by the vvorld vvhich is as S. Paul saith foolishnes with God for the vvisedom of God proceedeth out of humility and perfect Charity This vvisedom did Saint Fâ—ancis enioy vvhen yet by the vvorld he vvas desirous to be accounted a foole vvhich opinion thongh many had of him yer the effâ—ct of his vvisedom vvas euidently seen by the great reformation he made in the vvorld It vvil neuer go vvel and peaceably in the vvorld as long as they are only imployed and haue the spiritual gouâ—rnment of souls vvho take policy for their cheif ground next to Faith vvhich in the order and maner of their vvritings in these days me thinks they seeme in al to pretend for they prize that most which may serue their turn and suppres al orders but their ovvn though not in plain tearmes as far inferior to them in al things And that indeed it is not so to me seems euident for I know none but may be compared to them in aâ— things but policy This is my simple opinion If the soul hath not so much vvit or discretion vvhen she knoweth for certainty or els doubteth of the certainty of a thing that cocerns her or knovving the certainty vvil go and aske it as a doubt or taking it as a doubt seâ—ing need to aske vvil not puâ— her-self to aske I may vvarrant her from euer coming to contemplation VVhosoeuer are lead by the spirit of God they are the children of God As S. Paul said If vve vvere the perfect children of God his spirit vvould liue and reigne in vs. But for as much as yet vve are not vve are seriously to labouâ— to be and that
â—s so wholy to be attributed to God that I cannot presume to be able to endure the â—east cros in the world and should think â—t an extreame presumption to expose my-self to hazard by wilfully putting my-self of mine own accord to the suffering of any thing but what Obedience and necessity prouideth for me which I find to be enough Thus vpon occasion I haue foolishly strayed from my purpose and now I return to me matter of applying blindly the practise of Saints to our imperfect case for God wil prosper vs by those exercises that hâ— thinketh good and not by those of our own inuentions If the soul simply regard God in the best maner she can it wil be as easy for her to see what he would haue her to do or omit I mean in things that are not sin when to ask when to hold her peace when to pray and how to pray c as it is easy to discerne her right hand from the left or the Sun from the Moon but this wâ—l be if she go the way of abnegation and not els and if sâ—â— rest in God aboue al creatures and haue relation to him as wel as she can according tâ— her imperfect state in al things whatsoeâ—er either in a general or particular maner 〈◊〉 the case requireth for we cannoâ— prospeâ— any other way in a spiritual course or bâ— any other means then the diuine conductâ— And this not prospering any other wayâ— or by any other means then God pleaseth may be very wel applyed in some sort tâ— the case where the director out of his owâ— head and out of his own customs would haue the soul pray in that maner he hath good by And if God lead her by anotheâ— way thâ—n he hath gone she is wrong howsoeuer it be indeed And if the soul be fuâ—â— of perceptible imperfections in her outward carriadge and if in occasions she be apt to ouershoot her-self sometimes in ieast sometimes in earnest then he wil determin she is not fit for internal exercises vnles they be very grose and sensible ones And if she wil not beleeue him in this so far as presently to relinquish her former directions she goes astray Iâ—to which directions notwithstanding she hath been put by the aduâ—se of her chief Superior and found by prosecuting what she had begun that her soul was reformed by little and little and that she was willing â—nd enabled by Gods grace to amend any â—articular defects that the Confessor found 〈◊〉 her and reprehended her for only â—hen he misliked her course and would â—ot tel her why nor wherefor but in a â—onfused maner she stood vpon her gard â—nd held her peace hauing before endeaâ—oured by al informations she could and â—s vvel as she could to expres her-self that â—he might do things vvith his good leaue â—nd liking I say she held her peace and â—vas confident that her cours vvas neuer â—he vvors for his fearing and meant not â—y the grace of God to alter it til Supeâ—iors by diligent examination of her which â—he most willingly wil accept and giue â—hem al the informations she can as she â—â—th done him should iudge thereof to â—hose determination she finally meant to â—and For my part I say I shal folâ—ow her â—xample the best I can But if besids her â—mperfections he by some invvard disâ—ourse perceiued by her when she was in â—ome darknes and much obscured for that â—ime vvith the passion of feare that she â—ad some scruples of her former life which â—roubled her though indeed she had been â—duised by tvvo vvho knevv her conscienâ—e as vvel as she could make them and vvho vvere men of as much respect as any â—n the Congregation and one of them her cheif Superior and the other her directoâ— for many years Notvvithstanding I saâ— she had both their vvarrants for vvhat shâ— did vnder their hands and indeed findâ— her-self checked in conscience by Gâ—â— him-self in an extraordinary maner vvheâ— she doth in this point yeld to follovv heâ— ovvn sense desire and feare rather theâ— vvhat they haue aduised her Yet I say â— this Ghostly Father of hers should think iâ— not only fit but altogether necessary tâ— bring her into al feare he could pretending that the liuelines of her nature and thâ— great couradg she had could not be abatâ—ed vvith any thing els then vvith lettinâ— her and aduising her to diue into her conâ—sâ—ience and case as much as she vvould and that she could neuer come to profit buâ— by laying a good foundation by this meanâ— which he pretended was so necessary for some things which he discouered in her that it was hard if possible for her to be saued vnles she did proceed in this maner vvhat would you aduise the poor soul to do I wil tel you what I do and vpon what reasons I do it as wel as â— can 1. First for the il ground which he said I laid he grounded it vpon these reasons â— first was vpon the vnsetlednes he thought was in my conscience which indeed waâ— â—s it is at sometimes in which humour he once lighted vpon me And as to this I comforted my-self that I needed not to â—eare seeing I had done what I had been aduised to by the said two vpon whom I relyed in it Nay also when he was better able to iudge in my case he aduised me the very same him-self As also when I am in prayer and most cleer I see I cannot please God by any other means then by standing to the aduise that hath been giuen me by the said two in this kind 2. Secondly he grounded himself vppon a conceit that I held so constantly to the cours I had been put into before he came out of Pollicy becaus I would not be taxed with inconstancy and also because I might loose the interest in those who had the same instructions and that partly because they were many of them the most eminent persons in the howse for natural talents But to this I answerâ—ed my-self that as for Policy I did not wel vnderstand it and so far as I did vnderstand it I did abhorre it euen out of â—his respect that those who practised it in â—he nature I vnderstood him he meant â—ead miserable liues and must oblige themâ—elues more to the humors of many to â—ring their ends about then the loue of liberty would haue permitted me if â— had had no better intention and lyeâ—â— for the most part mis of their ends in thaâ— which they most desired and perhaps vndergoe great disgraces in hauing theiâ— plots discouered this I say if I had had no other inteÌ„â—ion would haue made me abhoriâ—â— But I also comforted my-self with this thaâ— since I first entred into this cours I neueâ— desired the friendship or fauour of any creature liuing nor so much asâ— durst wisâ— deliberatly that any thing should happeâ—â— otherwise then it did And when I thoughâ— it for the honour
intend Yet what is ill reforme in thee And this will all amend As farre as he doth thinke it good Who is most iust and wise He will thee by afflictions purge From what displease his eyes Willt thou of all that loue thy God From suffring be exempt O no but blisse as others do thy God and liue content Amidst the various accidents That do to thee befall Committ thy selfe and all to God Who seekes our good in all Thy selfe art blind and cannot iudge What is the best for thee But he doth pearce into all things How hâ—dd so ere thâ—y be My hart shall only this desire That thou my Lord dispose Euen as thou pleasest in all things Till these myne eys thou close By death which I so much desire Because it will procure Me to enioy my God my all Where I shall be secure That none from me can take my Lord But for eternity I shall enioy my only good And to him euer be Vnited by a knott of Loue Which nothing shall vnity But will remayne as permanent As his Diuinity O happy houre when willt thou come And set my Spirit free That I may loue and prayse my God For perpetuity Contemplating his glorious face With all that him adore Singing with them his sweetest prayse For eâ—er and euer more In this is such and so great comfort and peace that well may the soule be tearmed to receaue a hundred folde in this life who despiseth it-selfe and all other things that it may finde thee O how free is such a soule to fly with the wings of Loue to the throne of thy Diuine Maiesty Neuer was there or can be imagined such a Loue as is betweene an humble soule and thee Who can expresse what passeth between such a soule and thee Verily neither man nor Angell is able to do it sufficiently and the more such a soule knowes of thee the more sound becometh her humility the which thy selfe only can teach one perfectly and it is impossible to gett it in verity and perfection but by conuersing with thee O my God bestow this heauenly gift on me which only findeth fauour before thee Those that possesse it are able in and by thee to beare all things to vnderstand all things as farre as it is necessary for them For one learneth more in Prayer of thee in one hower then all creatures in the world could teach one in fifty yeares for that which thou teachest is sound solid and secure because it tends to nothing but to loue thee neglect it selfe Thy words bring force strength in themselues thy words are words of peace to the soule thy words are not like the words of men which passe as a sound through the ayr buâ— thyne pearse the very bottome of our soules Lett me hearken therefore to thee who speaketh loue and most certaine truth The wisedome of the world is foolishnes before thee But thy wisedome is much to be desired and for it willingly ought we to giue all our substance to it we ought to be espowsed and by it if we will be happy all our actions ought to be gouerned Allthough thou didst say that vnlesse we become as litle children we could not enter into the kingdome of heauen yet withall thou hast said that we ought to be wise as serpents and simple as doues where thou puttest that we should be wise before we be simple and not simplicity before wisedome whereof I aske thee the reason O my Lord with all the humility I am possibly able For it seems to meâ— that thereinâ— as in all thy words there is a hidden Mystery tell me I say my God of whom in all cases and doubts I aske solution and many times by it thou dost make many things manifest to my simplicity tell me â— say what was the reason Verily it seemeth to me that thou biddest vs be wise before we become simple becaus that is only true Simplicity which followeth true Wisedome For we cannot become truly simplified in our soule but by thy heauenly gift of true wisedome For there is a simplicity which is without wisedome and discretion which litle auayleth to perfection This vertue of Simplicity becometh more and more perfect in the soule as she increaseth in humility and charity yet at the very first of our conuersion this is in some sort practised by vs if we do as we ought to do As for example to become pleasing to thee it is absolutly necessary that a soule walke simply and sincerly before thy selfe and all men and read and heare obey and perâ—forme all in a simple and humble maner not searching into that which belongeth not vnto her this I say thou dost exact for nothing is more odious to thee then the contrary practise But yet this doth not diminish our naturall reason but maketh it more cleere and able to comprehend what is necessary for vs. This vertue also therefor bestow vpon me who euen in my nature as thou well knowest did euer aboue all things hate dissembling and dissimulation O Lord poore as I am and most sinnefull thus thou â—eest how I presume to speake vnto â—hâ—e but easily shall I obtayn pardon of thee becaus thou ouerflowest with â—he aboundance of thy mercy for whâ—ch Glory Prayse Adoration be to thee who art my Lord and my God and only desired by me I haue no friend to speake or treat with but thee and some of thy Saints to whom thou hast giuen charge of me and to whom I fly when my sinnes affright me amongst whom next after thy Deare Mother the Queene of mercy is my beloued S. Augustine O Glorious Saint whose hart did burne And flame with Loue Diuine Remember me most sinnefull wretch Who hunger staru'd doth pine For want of that which thou enioyest In such aboundant measure It is my God that I doe meane My ioy and all my treasure Thy words O Saint are truly sweet Becaus thou dost addresse Them vnto him who 's only meet Our mis'ries to redresse At whose intorcession much hast thou done for me Honour them my Lord for me who am so poore thatâ— haue nothing to present them or thee only a desire of being gratefull to thee who be by all eternally prayâ—sed Amen It was S. Augustine the Doctor and amorous seruant of God that she heere meant THE SECOND CONFESSION Omnis ex vobis qui non renunti at omnibus quae possident non potest meus esse discipulus Qui habet aures audiendi audiat All you who renounce not all you possesse cannot be my disciple who hath eares of hearing let him heare THESE are thy words my Lord which though they seeme hard at first yet being explicated to our soules by thee they become most easy and sweet to performe Teach me therefor my God I beseech thee for thy mercies sake teach me I say how I â—hall perform this to the glory of thyâ—oly â—oly name Thou hast inflamed my â—art as thou
are thy Lawes The more perfectly we performe them the more delightfull is thy yoke They were made by thee out of thy loue to vs and if we loue they will be most easy and pleasant to vs. For indeed where thou biddest vs leaue and forskae all that we may find rest in our soules thou speakest to vs as being sensuall For when we leaue our freinds riches honours pleasures yea and euen which is most of all our very selues whaâ— haue we left or forsaken Some thinâ— indeed as it seemes to vs these thing are when through blindnes and ignoâ—rance we esteeme them as benefit and comforts but doing it vpon 〈◊〉 word we find we haue left nothing â—â— find thee who art all things We haue left our friends who are incident to leaue vs when we stand in most need of them We haue left honour which being had proueth nothing ells butâ— meere burthen to vs. And so in fine nothing is there to be left which if 〈◊〉 did but loue our owne peace and quiâ—â— without all further respect we would choose as the very best what thou doâ—â— exact For vertue is amiable in it selfâ— and those that had but a very shew of it as to what it is indeed euen among the HeatheÌ„s were honoured for Godâ— Who therefor would not follow the my God in whom alone is to be founâ— true good Thou teachest the milde and humble thy wayes and thou restâ— willingly in a peacefull hart What caâ— bring true peace to our soule but tâ—â— â—oue Giue this Loue therefor to me â—ho wisheth and deâ—ireth only that â—n all I may be true to thee THE FOVRTH CONFESSION O My Lord and my God to whom I dust and ashes am not worthy to speak Yet heare me my Lord recounting heere before thee thy owne â—ords spoaken by thy seruant in thy name who art truth it selfe Venife filij â—â—â—ite me timorem Domini docebo vos Proâ—ibe lingâ—am tuam è malo labia tua ne â—juantur dolum Diuerte à malo fac â—nam inquire pacem persequere eam Conte ô Sonns Hearâ— mee I will â—each you the â—eare of our Lord. Forbid thy tongue from euil â— thy lips that they speake not guile turne â—rom euil and do good seeke peace proâ—ecute itt Heere thou biddest me as thy child come to thee and thou willt teach â—e thy feare as that thou art my Lord. â—eere thou biddest me refrain my tonâ—ue from guile and my lippes that they speaâ—k not guile and also hate euill and do good inquire afteâ— peace and follow it these last words inâ—deed comprehending all But of whoâ— shall I inquire peace my Lord my Goâ— of whom I say shall I inquire to leaâ— it Truely of thy selfe who in teachinâ— me the way of peaoe canst giue me graâ—ce to follow it Of thee therefor I desiâ—re to learn whose words are workâ— Speak to my hart speak so that I may heare and follow it Giue me the Humility which knoweth no guile Giue me the Loue that accompanieth it Lâ—â— thou knowest that there was neuer more necessity of begging in this kind thy helpe because humble Loue is now of the world allmost vnknown yea euen of them who should teach it the resâ—â— the wisedome of thy truth is sett a sideâ— and that which is the wisedome of the world beareth sway ouer all out of which it groweth that euen Humility Obedience and Charity the most noble vertues that are or can be are exacted and practised euen by way of humaine policy which maketh so litle vnion in the world beâ—weene them â—hose whole study ought to bâ— how they might loue and draw most forciâ—ly all the harts and soules in the â—orld to the pure loue of thee O Lord how farr haue our sinns cast vs from â—hee In lighten my soule O Lord I â—umbly beseech thee while heere to my greif I do in the bitternes of my soule rehearse these things befor â—hee whom I most contemptible and â—nworthy find in all so willing to â—ear and help me If we would loue we should aboundantly partake of â—hee For nothing is held by thee too deare for them who alone aboue all creatures and comforts seek the pure â—oue of thee Out of this true loue betâ—een a soul and thee there ariseth such a knowledg in the soul that it â—oatheth all that is an impediment to â—er further proceeding in the Loue of thee O Loue Loue euen by naming â—hee my soul looseth it self in â—hee Nothing can satiat my soul my Lord as it is well known to thee but â—o be swallowed vp in thee for all eternity No knowledg which heer we can haue of thee can satisfy my soul seeking and longing without ceasing after thee By faith we are certain of thee and by Loue we in some sort experience in our soules thy greatnes and goodnes thy beawty and sweetnes which more confirmeth vs in the hope of thee O what knowledg is to be compared to that which is taught the humble by thee which tendeth yet only to thy making her vnderstand her owne nothing and meer dependance of thee Thy words as my deare S. Augustin sayth speaking in his wonted maner to thee do-â—â—eâ— smile vpon those that neither seek oâ— desire any thing but thee What cansâ— thou deny to such as thus loue thee Verily thou seemest so enamoured of them as if thou wert forgettfull of the infinitnes of thy Maiesty The more they become humble the more they are regarded by thee and the more in thy light do they perceaue their vnworthines to be thus aduanced to loue thee which the more short it is of that which in will they desir by more and more humility to become before thee the more they endeaâ—our to become gratefull to thy infinit mercy O who can expresse the ioy that an humble soule takes in being despised for thee Verily nothing doth she esteeme so great a burthen as to be fauoured honoured esteemed or applauded by men whose opinion she feareth may deceaue her through her great frailty O how little is the opinion of men to be esteemed seeing they are so â—â—ekle inconstant and easily deceaued but thy iudgments my Lord God are true and iustified in themselues be thou my witnes and defender who â—â—nst not be deceaued and then lett all the world censure me as they please a good conscience is better then a thousand wittnesses giue me this then and I shall easily passe through all things Speak my Lord peace to my hart that I may attend to thee alone my only beloued Shall I after all thy benefits desir any thing beside thee O no my Godâ— farr farr farr be this misery from me after my soul hath been thus vrged by thee to sigh long and thirst without ceasing after being vnited with thee THE FIFT CONFESSION TELL me my Lord I beseech thee what can my soul pretend if it seek any thing with thee which is an impediment
but only her own soul and that â—ere as all soules are capable of thee she should by possessing thee alone and without them be infinitly happy for thus it is for nothing can â—atiat a reasonable soul but only thou And hauing of thee who art indeed all nothing could be said to be â—anting to her Thus my God it stands with me for which all glory and praise be giuen to thee eternally For if it had not stood thus with our soules that our happynes had only depended on thee some defect there would haue beene that might haue been an impediment between a soul and thee O that some who liue wholy to thee and experience the infinit desire thou hast to impart thy selfâ— to all reasonable soules would come out of their solitud their liuing wholy â—or the good of themselues declare the way of Loue to hungry and euen starued soules O how many would then be as tractable Lambes who now rebell as stiffe-necked soules Verily thou knowest that before I mett with such a seruant of thâ—e my hart seemed â—o me and also to others to be growne liuing yet in Religion more hard as to any good then euer was a stone but heating thy law made by him so easy plaine it was great ioy to my soul and little did it seeme to suffer all the paine and misery in the world so I might please and serue thee my only beloued I had indeed inquired about thee of many before and those such as were most likely to haue known they all agreed in points necessary to saluation neither should I haue erred as I did if I had followed them but what was the meane and way to a perfect Vnion with thee in my soul I could not at all hear or learn For they had as some of them humbly profest been for twenty yeares imployed in hearing Confessions and in studies thereby endeauouring to thy great honour to work the saluation of streying soules which was a happy course for them so that they had little experience in directing Contemplatiue soules But as one of them profest who was our cheife Superior if we had not found one of our owne Order who could in this haue giuen satisfaction to our soules he would haue sought ouer all the world most willingly to haue found and procured one for vs for which Humility and Charity of his I beseech thee my Lord God to reward him as beseemeth thy infinit Goodnes And grant that we who haue or shall find benefit by these most happy Instructions may be as faithfull to thee as it is possible for soules loaden with flesh and bloud and lett our harts study nothing ells but how to loue thâ—e and by perfect subiection lett our soules liue quietly vnder whomsoeuer is sett ouer vs by thee For in vain do we pretend to obey thee if we be not pliable to those that are set ouer vs by thy Diuine Maiesty For those who truly endeauour to please thee would obey a worm if it could commaund in the name and power of thee For so much is an action pleasing to thee as it is done in that maner it is exacted of vs by thee which good will and pleasure of thine we cannot learn but by conuersing with thee which if we do and liue withall as well as our frailty will permit wholy to thee and seek our own abiection it will easily appeare to vs how and which way in all things we shall behaue our selues to become truly obedient to thee For either by the Rule custome or order of the howse or by the speciall ordinance of the Superior God sheweth vs what to do they being infallible declarations of his will and the most certain of all Or ells for things for â—hich they referre vs to thee as for the maner of our Prayer and such like things thou teachest an humble soul what therein to do and when to ask of others and when to seek the solutions from thee But indeed as I haue confessed to thee before speaking ordinarily few are the questions that occurre in the way that is of humble Resignation Only thou requirest that how cleerly or securely soeuer a soul walk she be ready in all that is required of her by Superiors to giue them a faithfull accompt and to amend and correct whatsoeuer they iudge amisse This lesson they learn who in all haue relation to thee and thou giuest them grace to obey in all for thee if we dispose our soules to hear and follow thee For thou giuest one grace to one and an other to an other and some may do that with profit which would to another be a mayn preiudice Thou giuest wisedom to all thy little ones but not to all in one maner but to a Superior in one kind and to a subiect in another In all therefor if we will truly obey we ought to obserue ourselues what doth hinder and what doth help towards the obtaining of thy diuine Loue for which all things are and haue been ordained by thy diuine Goodnes and yet to do this as we ought passeth so between thee and vs that none can discern it by vs vnlesse perhaps they hold the same course For this proceeding doth not make a soul singular in her actions and cariadge for singularity is a vice which thou extreamly hatest but rather makes one exceedingly loue the common obediences and externall exercises all of them putting ones soul in mind of her duty towards thee in all things and so hast thou ordained and disposed the orders of this howse that they are a sufficient book â—o teach vs our duty and do shew vs when to Praise thee and when to cease from actually doing it When to speak and when to be silent and for my part following them as well as I can quietly and out of Obedience to thee I find them all most necessary and proper to aduance a soul in the true Loue of thee and particularly the Diuine Offâ—ce is such a heauenly thing that in it we find whatsoeuer we can desire For sometimes in it we addresse vs to thee for help and pardon for our sinnes and some-times thou speakest to vs so that it pearceth and woundeth with desire of thee the very bottome of our soules and sometimes thou teachest a soul to vnderstand more in it of the knowledg of thee and of themselues then euer could haue been by all the teaching in the world shewed to a soul in fiue hundred yeares and as I haue often allready said thy words are works and therefor happy are the humble and peacefull of hart for these find such free accesse to thee that thou be commest indeed all in all and aboue all to them while they seelâ— nothing but thee and no perill is there to them in their way as long 〈◊〉 they retain true Humility in theâ—â— soules For who can hurt a soul 〈◊〉 deceaue her while she adhereth faithfully to
written by me which I read when I cannot for some indisposition in body or mind otherwise think vpon thee and when I am ouerwhelmed in any misery it becometh most tolerable by hauing thus conference with thee who neuer disdainest me for which all Glory be giuen to thee who art my Lord and my God blessed for all eternity Amen Alleluia THE XI CONFESSION O My Lord to whom I will speak and before whom my hart shall not be silent while thus it stands with me least the heauy weight of sinnes and my disordered passions do oppresse my soul and seperate it from thee the only desire and beloued of my hart It behooueth me indeed to be silent and that all created things be likwise silent to me to the end â— may hear the sweet whispering of thy voiâ—â— and attend in most quiet repose of soul to thy Diuine Maiesty speaking to my hart But this must be when my soul is drawn and sweetly attracted by thee to attend to what it shall please thee to work in me But now in these my sinnes which passions and inordinat affections caus in me My soul doth cry out in the bottom thereof and call vpon thee who art my refuge helper and deliuerer in all these my afflictions and miseries and this my prayer is not reiected by thee becaus thou art a bottome less Sea of mercy O when shall my soul see all impediments remoued that it may be vnited to thee and retorn to thee from whom it had her being to this end that it might by pure Loue become capable of enioying thee for all eternity What are all things to me without thee Verily nothing but a shadow neither can any of them no nor all of them together satisfy or comfort me By Louing Pleasing and Praising thee as thou wouldst haue me shall I become truly content and happy and by no gifts or graces or fauours besids how great soeuer they be Return retâ—rn my soul to him that only can satiat thee and without whom all things as thou seest are most bitter and vnpleasing to thee Only by Humility and Obedience can this be accomplished in thee Humble despise and subiect thy self in all without exceptions that he may take pitty on thee Indeed my Lord I desire thus to become for thee For I may truly say I was brought to nothing and I knew it not and I am as a beast before thee and yet allso I may say that I am allways with thee and thou with me by thy preuenting mercy It is a poore way â—o think to become honourable by standing vpon our points and yet this is that which now is most in practise in these dayes O how far is this from the practise of thy Saints and seruants who thought it their greatest honour to be despised neglected reuiled and contemned by all this world to the end they might become honourable in thy eyes my Lord who hath said that blessed are we when we are spoken ill of by men and persecuted by them Giue me this true humility I beseech thee which maketh soules capable of receauing this thy blessing promised to the humbleâ— and those which serue thee for Loue whose ioy thou thy self art and who follow thee by the way of the Crosse which seemeth indeed contemptible in their eyes who do not discern nor discouer the hidden treasure that lyeth in the confusion receaued and embraced with the armes of Loue by a faithfull soul who seeketh nothing but to imitate her beloued who died the ignominious death of the Crosse to purchace her loue and to make her of an enemy to become an intimate and inward friend of this our heauenly Bride-groome This pouerty and contempt I say which thy little ones do vndergo in this life my Lord God seemeth to the louers of this world to be an intolerable burthen but those that truly walk this way of Humility do find that in it lyeth the greatest comfort and sweetnes that can be found and enioyed in this world For thou bearest thy-self the burthen of the humble and what toucheth them toucheâ—h the apple of thyne eye Nothing dost thou think to deare for them seeing all thy gifts graces fauours and comforts which thy goodnes imparteth to them they vse only to thy praise and to the abasing of themselues vnder the feet of all thy creatures as most vnworthy of this thy mercy of all of them O what power hath an humble soul with thee while she becometh totally subiect to thee euen as if no power of willing or choosing were giuen her by thee which while she doth well it goes with her before thee and great is the liberty of such an one while she only desireth and seeketh thee For in doing so we do become capable in an extraordinary maner of enioying thee who though thou art not to be seene in this life as thou art yet an humble soul is not ignorant of thee For her faith is wonderfully cleered and great is the knowledg of a soul which by loue obtaineth the heauenly wisedome of thee which thou hast hidden from the wise and prudent of the world and reuealed it to thy little ones who sigh and long without ceasing to become vnited to thy Diuine Maiesty that thy Praise may be perfected in them to thy eternall Glory O how frequently and confidently do these soules fly vnto thee and how often are they euen amazed to see thy infinit sweetnes and most amiable beawty Nothing is so present to them as is this their Lord God yea my God such a knowledg of thee doth Loue caus in an humble soul that it maketh her for a tyme neither to see feele yea nor to think of any thing besides thee but this in this vale of teares is not of long continuance and hath many interruptions by â—eason of the strife between our spirit and our three enemies the world the flesh and the diuel but yet thy grace is in all occasions neere to our soul and nothing shall blemish the purity thereof if we humbly adhere vnto thee and wholy mistrust our own forces as we well may and be confident in thee who art so mercifull and pittifull to those who presume not to haue any strength but thee This humble loue is able to go through all difficulties and to bear all burthens and to sustain all paines and disgraces becaus it seeketh only thee for her wittnes who art her glory her honour and her crown most neer and deare to her yea euen more present then she is to herself and more hers then she is her own and consequently being wholy forgetfull of herself she only seeketh and intendeth thy praise and glory my Lord God the peace of her hart and the comfort of her soul. It seemeth to a soul at first that by denying forsaking neglecting and despising herself she shall vndergo a most grieuous Martyrdom but by approaching to thee my God and conuersing with thee in a
calamities and miseries O Loue lett me liue in and to thee and dy to all created things whatsoeuer O Loue Loue liue raign and wholy possesse my soul Consider not O my God so much what I am and haue beene as what I desire to be O Lord my God and all my Good THE XVI CONFESSION O Lord my God Father of the poor and true comforter of all afflicted soules be mercifull to my desolate hart and stirre it vp to perfect loue of thee that I may simply seek thee and sigh after thee my beloued absent and not for the sorrow I feele at the present Lett me long to embrace thee with the armes of my soul and think it litle to endure any misery in body or soul to be at last admitted into the boosom of my Loue fairest and choicest of thousands Lett all fall down and adore my God the glory of my hart Lett the sound of his Praise be heard to sound and resound ouer all the earth O when shall my soul hauing transcended it self and all created things be firmely vnited to thee the beloued of my hart resting in thee not in thy gifts or graces and neither desiring nor taking any satisfaction in any work or exercise whatsoeuer but in all paines temptations contempts deâ—olations pouerties and miseries either of body or mind conforming my self to thy sweet will for time and eternity who as iustly as euer thou didst any thing mayst condemne my soul eternally to hell from which nothing but thy meere mercy were able to saue and deliuer me and dayly I should incurr this sentence if thou didst not out of thy goodnes euer help and protect me thy sinfull seruantâ— This only I desiâ— this only I ask that I may in all things praise thee and that I may desire no comfort but to be able without all comfort human or diuine to be true to thee and not offend thy Haâ—osty THE XVII CONFESSION TO whom but to thee my Lord should I fly in all temptations and Crosses whose armes are open to embrace all repentant sinners and whose hands are lifted vp to giue a sweet benediction to all in misery If I either had or desired to haue any friend or comforter but thee I could not with confidence fly into thy bosâ—ome for succour in this which is now faln on me Iâ— euer thou hadst reiected any that hoped iu thee I might feare but as it is I will sing in my affliction with teaâ—es in myne eyes to thee and neuer leaue to hope in thine aboundant mercy Is it much that I serue thee whom all creatures are bound to serue and we are so happy in being subiect to thee that no libâ—râ—y is to be compared to the happines of depending of thee THE XVIII CONFESSION WHEN thou art present O my God then my hart reioiceth and in peaâ—e singeth thy praises but when thou hidest thy beawtifull face my soul becometh exceedingly obscured and troubled yea euen ouerwhelmed in darknes and misery in which case long remaining which is most iustly permitted by thee for my humiliation what shall I do to lift vp my soul to thee but as one sick with loue of her absent beloued to speak with him it is impossible the distance of place is so great but yet she may hear others who speak of him which a little mitigateth her misery though while he is absent al is irksome to her becaus the delay afflicteth her hart But yet is she without all comfort No for she may write to and of him and if none will carry it to her deare beloued it shall remain by her that he may see at his return how she languished for loue and could take comfort in nothing that all creatures could offer or propose to her soul while she possessed not what she only desired her life by loue being more with her beloued then where she liued for which caus she heareth and yet mindeth not what is said vnles perhaps they treat feelingly of her absent loue and speak in his praise She seeth and yet cannot take comfort in what she beholdeth She sleepeth but her hart waketh and in fine while she cannot enioy her beloued nothing can satisfy her vnquiet hart Thus my God euen sensual and vnreasonable loue transporteth a reasonable soul But if naturall loue be of that force what doth that soul feel whom thou hast wounded with thy pure Loue And of what power is that loue that is seconded by thee who art the fountain of all true Loue and sweetnes What shall I say of a soul that hath tasted how sweet our Lord is Verily she yet liuing dieth a thousand deaths becaus she seeth herself so far from possessing thee my God whom none can see and liue nor none enioy as thou art in thy self till thou free her of the heauy and sinful burthen of flesh and bloudâ— And allthough thou dost admitt her longing and sighing after thee alone to I know not what nor can I expres the vnspeakable ioy and delights which I say thou some times admittest her to therein not like to the louers in this world who oftimes reiect where they are most beloued yet out of thy care of her thou suddainly turnest away thy face at which till she loue thee for thy self she will become troubled and too too impatient in the delay which thou makest of returning to her again the which if she bear with a resigned mind making thy will her law aboue all the desires of her hart and sitt solitary like the turtle doue thou willt in good time assuredly return and being absent wilt be present to hear her prayers and see her teares shed for the sorrow she conceiueth to offend thee her desired beloued whom she would loue withall her hart with all her soul and all her strength and praise thee day and night without ceasing as it beseemes a soul languishing with thy loue THE XIX CONFESSION REMEMBER O my God that thou madst me for to loue thee Why therefor dost thou permit me to offend so sweet a Goodnes Although none do find thee in an extraordinary maner in the bottome of their soules but those that serue thee my God for Loue and walk by the way of the Crosse yet I do confidently affirm that thy yoke and burthen thy Law and thy Crosse are not by far so heauy greeuous and burthen â—ome as be the painâ—ul wayes of â—in which seeme â—o be sweetned with some delightsâ— but in the hart it proueth more bitter then gall whereas thy yoke being born by a truly louing soul is many times heauy when thou leauest her thereby to shew her how little she can do or suffer of her self and that she may glory in thee and not in her own power and humble herself and not preferre herâ—elf before others when I say thou pleasest to leaue her thus as it were forlorne she feeleth indeed a great burthen and nothing can comfort her till thou her desired and only beloued
return For she hauing forsaken all for thee and hauing tasted of thy sweetnes saieth with the Prophet Turn away myne eyes that they see not vanity least like a dog she return to her vomit and after hauing had a glimering of thy light she becaus she feared she should not be able to sustain thy chastisements and shouâ—d forgett and loose herself by these tribulations and desirous that she might be happily enabled to enâ—er the more fully into thee and fearing I say her own frailty she thus againe crieth out to thee by these other words of the Psalmist saying Domine Deus salutis meae in die clamaui nocte coram te O Lord God of my saluation day and night haue I cryed after Thee For who but thy self can comfort a soul that indeed neither seekes nor desires any thing but thee my God O when shall I spend all my strength and forces in singing thy Praises Who would sett their harts vpon any thing but thee seeing thou hast made all other things so hard to be obtained that we might seeke only thee for whom we were made and whose Loue we may more easily obtaine then any thing els whatsoâ—uer O lett me Loue thee who only for that end didst create me We would haue that which is worth nothing and many times greiue for the losse of that which would but cause vs perplexity and trouble to haue In the meane time neglecting that which thou so infinitly desirest to bestow vpon vs to wit thy loue then which nothâ—ng is so good or sweet or that bringeth such true peace to the soul. THE XX. CONFESSION WITHOVT paine it is impossible O my most Amiable God to liue in loue But if the difficulties which thy true friends and seruants feele were weighed with the miseries of those who rather seek to please themselues and others then thee there would be found an infinit disâ—parity For thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light to the simple and humble and to those who serue thee for loue and whose ioy thou thy self art and who nothing els but thee my God do seâ—k for in time or eternity These I say are despised contemned afflicted pained tempted troubled and many times sit sorrowfull with a heauy hart and sad countenance But thy will being their law and thy disposition their consolation I may boldly affirme that in all this they suffer nothing in comparison of the fondâ— louers of this world becaus thou being euer more present to them then tâ—ey to themselues dost when thou seest thy time refresh their souls with the light and comfort of thy grace yea seeming to be euen prodigall of thy sweetnes to such as abide faithfull to thee in their tribulations and hope confide and glory in thee and not in themselues and who take occasion in all they see heare suffer ouercome to humble themselues vnder thy mighty hand and blesse and praise thy Iustice and Mercy in all things whatsoeuer Amongst which number admit me poor and contemptible sinner to thy greater glory for this thy Mercy from all creatures for euer and euer Amen THE XXI CONFESSION O My Lord and my God remoue al impediments between thy Goodnes and my poor soul that I may loue thee who only deseruest all loue and honour Giue me an humble and peacefull hart that thou maist inhabit therein as thou desirest Suppres in me by thy sweet Grace the sin of pride which maketh me as yet so odious to thy Diuine Maiesty O if we did but by true Humility abase our selues what beames of true light would shine in the bottome of our souls O what amity is there between thy Diuine Maiesty and an humble soul Nothing but Humility could haue drawn thee down to the earth and only Humility can make vs capable of being drawn by â—hee vp to heauen The truly humble conuers familiarly with thee and thy Saints They presuming nothing of themselues can do all things in thee who strengthnest them And thou art so chary and tender of the humble that what concerneth them thou esteemest to concern thy owne self and euen thy own hart And they thinking they do nothing do by thee do all things Many vnknown to the worldâ— and of no esteem wiâ—h it shall before thee haue the honour and merâ—t in the next world of that which noâ— other men boast of and attribute to themselues For the humble liuing stil in their own nothing giue all glory to thee by whom only all good is performed in the mean while thou enriching them of thy meere Mercy with thy Merits O happy exchange thinâ— for ours durt for the most pure gold What is all we can do Verily nothing Enrich me therefor poor begger with some-what of thyne At thâ— feet I lay whatsoeuer thou giuest oâ— hast giuen me Giue or take away 〈◊〉 thou pleasest so thou do not blot mâ— out of the book of life Open to me knocking at the door of thy Mercy I haue been fiue and twenty yeares this signifieth her age at the writing heerof as that she was then fiue and twenty years olde in my infirmity of most loathsome sinnes behold my misery and take pitty vpon me Sonne of Dauid I defiled that â—oul that was made to thy owne Image and liknes haue compassion on her who hath no other friend or comforter but thy self the only desired of my hart For thy owne sake be propitious to my sin for it is much Nothing that I haue done can I alleadg to thee which hath deserued any reward in thine eyes Onely desires of which manie burn in hell they being little without good works Giue her to drink who withers away for want of thee the fountain of al sweetnes I will powre out my soul before thee that at least I may comfort my self with relating to thee my sinnes and miseries Behold all my ennemies triumph ouer me of whom most easily in all temptations they get â—he victory Fight for me or els I know not what will become of me giue me true Humility by which all things are easily ouercome and all thou exactest most perfectly accomplâ—shed by vs thy Maiesties poor creatures Giue thy self to meâ— who hath nothing of her own to offer thee and if thou giue me thy self I am as rich as I desire to be and if thou shouldst bestoâ— vpon me all thou hast or can create it would be little to me vnles I possessed thee By thy felf I Praise thee whose name doth not be-seeme the mouth of a sinner O let me Loue or not liue I giue my self to thee whome alone I wish for and desire with all the forces of my hart and soul. O my God how neere thou art to vs ready to heare and receaue our prayers and petitions Behold thy sâ—eeâ— prouidence sheweth it self in all things O how long shall my God be thus â—orgotten by creatures When wilt thou by Loue be by all sought after as thou oughtest to be by vs THE
I speak to thee according to his desire still more and more inflame my loue vnto thee Be thou all in all and aboue all vnto me If thou teach not my soul to loue in vain is the endeauour of man speaking and preaching to me Let me â—eare thee by him and let me not so harken to him without that I grow deaf to thee who art within Thy words are works Either speak by others for our good or by tâ—y self in the most interior of our soul. O happines that there should be such a capacity in vs of hauing relation to thee in all things Al things created may faile vs but thou who only canst fatiat our harts canst neuer change or alter but art stil the same and thy yeares shall not faile Thou teachest a soul true Humility and solid vertue In thee nothing is neglected thou art the Maiester of Perfection Thou teachest the simple humble and louing soul thy wayes and giuest her hidden Manna in the strength of which she may walk euen to the hous of her God where she shall praise him for euer and euer Qui ambulat simpliciter ambulat confidenter who walketh simply walketh confidently if we loue thee all will cooperat to good which graunt to thy own Praise Amen THE XXV CONFESSION OMnis populus venit ad Iesum sedens docebat eos All the people came Iesus and hee sitting taught them Can I heare and consider these words written by thy best beloued Disciple and not euen melt into tears of ioy If indeed any had been by thee my Lord reiected I might haue feared and that most iustly remembring my past and present sinnes But to put me out of feare and doubt thy holy Euangelist saith Omnis all To thee therefor I will fly and of thee I will learn how I may Please Praise and loue thee and how by true Humility I may dye to my self and all created things Hereby wholy to liue to thee my all and onely good Thou knowst that my soul without ceasing doth long after thee and to see it-self free from all that which is a hindrance to my perfectly louing thee Oâ— Loue of my Lord God how forcible art thou in a pure soul O who will giue thee to me that my hart may be purged and purified thereby to becom a pleasing habitation for my God O Lord who art Goodnes it self can there be found any ioy comfort or true content in any thing but thee Can there I say for as for me far hath it been from thee to permit any thing but thy self to be sweet to mee O all ye that think it a burthen to be obliged by your Profession to tend to great Perfection and fear the punishment of our doing the contrary raise vp your harts and remember what it is that our Lord exacteth of you by this your Profession and this as it may seeme at first a seuere exaction so remember wel and consider I say what it is and your harts will rejoyce that feare our Lord. It is O it is to loue without bounds or measure It is to leaue your self that you may find God It is to fly from the world that you may hear our Lord speaking peace to your soul It is to submit and subiect your self wholy to him whose will none can resist but as they are permitted by him It is to be subiect to euery liuing creature for him who submitted himsef to the death of the Cross that we might become capable of enioying him This is that he exacteth of vs who haue dedicated our souls wholy to him This is that he requireth which though at first it seeme a burthen to perform yet that which seemeth so is indeed quite otherwise as we shal find in effect if we perform that out of loue which out of his loue to vs he exacteth of vs. For what is sweeter then to loue Yea and to loue him whom the more we loue the more it becometh delightful to vs to loue the more strict our obligation is to him the lighter is our burthen we haue to beare For he doing all that he hath done for vs to bring vs into this state to oblige vs to loue doth also if we be not the hindrance oblige himself to giue vs this Diuine loue of his which is able to vnite a poor contemptible creature to his Diuine Maiesty whom we are not worthy to name O sweet and most desirable yoke well maist thou be said to be sweet thou bringing true and perfect liberty For loue maketh light all burthens and sweetneth al labours and to them that loue it is easy to suffer any aduersities for their loueds sake O let me being obliged by thee to loue let me I say through thy mercy obtain this loue of thre which maketh a soul in all things grateful and faithful to thee Let me not offend thee in my miseries and then come as many as pleases thee for I account that only a misery to wit to offend thee Let all things praise thee and let me in all praise thy Diuine Maiesty with them that loue thee Behold Fire Sea Snow Thunder Lightning Hail and â—he Spirits of storms do thy will and yet I in all contradict it who am capable of thy loue and am inuited to loue so many ways by thee my God O let this thy loue wholy posses my soul that all that is within me may blesse thy holy Name I renounce into thy hands all that is in me contrary to this thy loue Let it wholy consume me that I may be wholy turned into loue and that nothing els may be desired by me Let me be drowned and swallowed vp in that of Diuine loue in which my soul may swim for all eternity neuer more by sin to be separated from thee O when wil this day come that I may return to thee my beginning When will thy Glory appeare When shal death be swalowed vp in victory that I may without ceasing Praise thee my God whose name I write with no smal comfort though otherwise I be so drie that I can scarce think vpon thee To heare thâ—e named or to write to or of thee refresheth my soul in al her misery and to it I flye from the thoughts feares and cares which as thou knowst often oppres me for my humiliation who for my pride deserue iustly to be reiected for euer by thee But in such case I hope both liuing and dying that thou my Lord art my God my Mercy and what is wanting to me I shal aboundantly posses if I confide only in thee which grant that I may not faile to do who only art to be Adored for all eternity Amen THE XXVI CONFESSION ERant appropinquantes ad Iesum Publicani peccatores vt audirent illum There were sinners and Publicans approaching to Iesus that they might hear him This is writ in the Gospel of this day my Lord which doth much comfort my sinfull
verily I may and must confesse and acknowledge to thee most particularly in this that thou hast so particularly and plainly as thou hast done for my humiliation discouered my sinnes vnto me wherby I might know and confesse myâ— obligation to thee and â—ith al compassion on the sinnes and imperfections of others which they also are permitted to fal into that rising vp their loue may be the greatâ—r when they remember it before thee And this I may add to thy greater glory that thou didst reserue this knoâ—ledg of my sinâ—ul and miserable state from me till by meanes of thy said seruant I was put into the way of loue and aspiring to thee for els it would haue wholy deiected and ouerwhelmed me be thou by al glorified and Praised for thy Mercies to me Amen THE XXX CONFESSION O My Lord God to and before whom only I deâ—ire to powre out my hart and the desires affecâ—tions and afflictions therof For thy owne sake forsake not me who desireth to leaue al for thee If thou wilt thou canâ—t saue me Though I haue neuer to my knowledg done any thing that deserueth any grace or fauour before thee yet meerly out of thine owne goodnes forgiue me my sinnes and haue mercy on me Let thy Mercy which withouâ— any desert of mine preuented me bring me to thee Let nothing for time or eternity but thy felf be desired by me Let not my soul loose it-self by resting in any thing but thee Let me take comâ—ort in hearing of thee and let al inordinate loue to creatures be rooted out of my hart by thee Thou knowst for that which is past I am hartily sorry and it often draweth teares from mine eyes to think that their loue should haue been more strong and powerfull in me then that sweet loue of thine is now which challengeth so ful and whole possession of my hart and soul by so many titles which none can deny to thee Take it now therfore wholy to thy-self and ler me rather cease to be then to giue any part to any but as it shall be distributed by thine own sef thy friends only shall be mine that in fine I may haue only thee for my friend aboue all friends take from me of them thou giuest me as it best pleases thee For so I shal come to loue al in thee and yet they wil be as if they were not as to any impediment to my being vnited to thee Let me without ceasing aspire by loue vnto thee that I may be lifted aboue my self and all created things so to be pure and free vnto thee Amen THE XXXI CONFESSION O My Lord when I remember my innumerable sinnes it seemeth not much to me that I sustain these things both without and within But yet my deare God I may speak to thee in the bitternes of my soul who art my only refuge and comfort in affliction and say that thou seemest to me to shut vp al hope of meanes to help my self by some things which I already do and more am like heerafter to sustain Of whom should I beg help but of thee or strength to beare this to thy honour with conâ—ormity to thy blessed wil Who can bestow this on me but thy-self Thou knowst that since I gaue my-sef to a serious tending to thee I neuer desired the friendship or fauour of any creature liuing Nay to thy honour I speak it thou many times and seueral ways shewed me so plainly the vncertainâ—y instability and changeablenes of al created things that my soul euen loatheth the fauour of any how good soeuer neither do I wonder to see those whom to day vpon occasion I am resolute I may be confident in to morrow be in an humor of interpreting al I haue done or said in another sense then indeed I meant it This indeed thou permittest to the end we may trust in thee alone adhere to thee alone and for to purge our souls of the interest which nature getteth euen in the actions which we do with best intention Thou knowâ—t I neiâ—her desire nor pretend any thing but do wish with al my soul that thy Wil be perfectly accomplished and take this answer from thee which I shal anone recite when I am too â—olicitous of my own good or too much troubled with the preiudice or affliction of those thy sernants with whom I most vnâ—orthy â—inner liue who are in thee al without exception most dearly beloued by me with this answer following of thine I am I say put in mind of my dury where thou saiest Quid ad â—e tu me sequere What is that to thee do thou follow me And I answer thee my Lord that as for me it is good for me to adhere to thee who art that One thing which is only necessary Thou alone suffisest me and al things buâ— thy-self shal be to me as if they were not that I may â—ind and enioy thee aâ—ter whom my soul doth pant and sigh without ceasing longing after tâ—ee with all my forces who art my al and only good No rhirst in any though neuer so weary and tired can be so great for want of that which naturally quencheth our thirst when we pant and are dry with heat and thirst as is the thirst which my soul doth sustain sighing and panting after thee the liuing fountain which yet I cannot enioy til my soul be set free from this corruptible flesh but the more I sigh the more I am delighted to sigh after whomâ— I would so fain enioy The more I loue the more I am yet able farther to loue thee the more I deny my-self the morâ— sweet it be cometh to me to suffer for thee the only beloued of my soul. Wo is me that euer I offended such a goodâ—nes as art thou my God! Certainly my sinns deserue to be punished in an extraordinary maner becaus I committed them more wilfully then ordinary Such was the carefulnes of thy seruant my natural father who was so careful that I should be kept out of al occasions of sin that I might considering the nature also which thou gauest me haue liued very innocently But what through my greater fault and negligence is due to me for my sinns be it supplyed by the superaboundance of thy Mercy which I will from henceâ—orth with all my forces extol and I beseech thee remember thy true seruant my said Father who through his care preuented my further euil and also I offer to â—hee him whose happy instructions hath made thy yoke sâ— sâ—eet and thy burthen so light to me who as thou knowst found it so greiuous and heauy before I took my instructions from him that I was weary of the yoke and despaired euer to beare thy burthen with any comfort or quiet whereas afterward being put into a course of Praier and MortificatioÌ„ by hâ—m my greatest obligations seemed to be most most desirable burthens for al thy benefits be thou by al praised for
thou hast made is good if it be put for that vse â—or which thou madst it Do not we see that euen Spiders and Serpents do draw the venom from the earth both for the purging it and also for a farther vse that man therof maks and yet these to our seeming are of the least worth as to good among thy creatures But it is our mis vsingâ— abusing and mis-applying thy creatures that makes the world turn vpside down The hail thunder storms rain snow did the three Children in the furnace inuite to praise thee as good in themselues being made by thee But nothing is so good in this world but it may be peruerted and abused For if man whose soul was made by thee in such purity by sin becometh so foul how can this choose but breed disorder in the world al things therein being giuen by thee to be disposed by him and vsed by him as â—â—lpâ— to â—â—rue thee while we liue heer But ô my God I wil speak to thee and I wil cal vpon thee who art Wisedâ—m it-self If thou smile at my folly yet behold me sinner and instruct me in thy Law which is sweet aboue al delights of the world and to serue thee for loue is that which I only desire In al my miseries and afflictions of body and soul thou despisâ—st not any soul flying to thee and dilating my-self to thee I do comfort and strengthen my hart which aspireth to nothing as thou knowst by this my speaking to tâ—ee but to ease my soul by begging help of thee and declaring to thee my only friend my sins and miseries For if we fly from tâ—ee whither go we but out oâ— one darknes into another Who can discouer our wounds to vs but thy-fâ—lf who when we acknowledge them dost also cure the languishing diseases of our very souls O in thy light let me see light that so al impâ—diments may be remoued between thy Godnes and my souâ— My â—oul can neuer return to thee til it â—e purged and purifyed by graceâ—nd â—nd Mercy Of my-self I can do nothing Thou therefor that madst and redeemedst me saue me who euery moment should perish if I were not assisted by thee I see nothing or hear any thing but it giueth me new cause to praise thee and to seek thee aboue al gifts graces and creatures Grant me therefor to serue thee in that maner thou wouldst be serued by meâ— For I am not able to do any thing good of my self Let me by Humility and truâ— obedience return to thee from whom for my sins I deserue to be separated with the diuels eternally but thy Mercy which is aboue al thy works pardon me and giue me Grace to liue better heerafter O my God me thinks some times I haue so liuely a feeling of my own nothing and see so plainly that we depend wholy of thy grace and Mercy that I wonder how it is possible I should anâ— more be able to presume of my-self in any thing whatsoeuer But alas this passeth away and like dust carried away with the winde so is my soul with vanity In which my sin and misery I groan to thee from the bottom of my soul who art my helper and my deliuerer from al mine enemies wherof the greatest is my self and to thee I declare my iniquities which are without end or measure to the end I may glorify thee the more who shewest mercy to me and reiectest not the most disloyal of al thy Maiesties seruants For which let heauen and earth praise thee seeing I am not able by any thing to shew gratitude to thee For I caÌ„ do nothing but declare thy Mercy and beseech thysâ—lf to supply my defect in praising thee For thou only canst do it as I desire it should be done The very Seraphins are too short of being able according to thy worth to praise thee and al thy Angels and â—aints accompt themselues as dumb in comparison of thy deserts from them For al thy sweet Mercy be thou thereâ— for by al not as able but as willing to praise tâ—ee magnifyed for euer and euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O My Lord and my God If none haue much forgiuen them but those that loue much what wil become of me This day we read in our Office that Saint Marie Magdalen coming to thy feet which she watered with her reares heard that comfortable answer from thee to wit Go in peace thy sinnes are forgiuen thee but it was out of this regard that she loued much This answer thou madst to her whose hart in silence spoak vnto thee doth much comfort my sinful soul. But yet when I remember how void I am of that which was the necessary disposition for her soul to hear those comfortable words thy sins are forgiuen thee go in peace it draweth teares â—rom mine eyes to see how far my soul is destitute of that pure loue which preuaileth with thy diuine Maiesty What shal I say What shal I do Or wherein shal I hope I am not fit to plead for my-self my sinnes indeed are so many and so great and as for the loue which only thou desirest behold my soul is destitute of it For if I haue any towards thee my God it is but a sensible childish loue which is a loue little beseeming the bestowing vpon such a God who is al Good Beawty Wisedom yea euen Goodnes and Loue it-self to whom is due a loue which is able to suffer al things for this loue is a strong loue more strong then death it-self the which kind of loue is far from me who am blown down with the least blast of temptation and cannot endure any disgrace desolation or difficulty whatsoeuer as it beseems a true louer of his But notwithstanding my poueâ—ty and misery yet I wil hope in him and wil approach to his feet who is Mercy itself There my Lord and my God I wil in filence sigh and weep both for my sinnes and for my defect in louing thee who art worthy of al loue and Praise whatsoeuer There I wil beg this loue so much to be desired There I wil wish and long for itâ— and from thy feet I wil not depart til thou denounce to me thy sins are forgiuen thee and saiest to my soul go in peace This voice I long to hear in my hart that I may with the voice of exaltation praise thee for euer Amen THE LIII CONFESSION AMen Amen dico vobis quia receperunt mercedem suam Math. 6. Amen Amen I say â—nto you they haue receiued their reward These thy words my Lord and my God come into my mind so often as my thoughts dare to think of hauing deserued any reward at tâ—y hands and serue as a motiue to subiect my soul totally to thy diuine Maiesty before whom now I do professe and acknowledg that my desirs and endeauours are so defectiue in comparison of what is to thee due from me that I may and
do euen say to my soul Peace be humble and subiect in al to thy God whom thou art not worthy so much as to name with thy defiled mouth Indeed my Lord whose power and Maiesty prostrate I acknowledg and adoreâ— with al mine hart and soul if I should neither in this nor in the next world receaue any other reward but what already thou hast bestowed on me which I haue I must needs conâ—esse receaued gratis of thy Mercy without any desert of mine owne yet that which tâ—ou hast so already done for me is sufficient to declare to Heauen and earth the superaboundance of thy mercy and clemency to a sinful and contempâ—tible creature I wil there for sing vnto thee mercy and iudgment al the days of my life wishing always that thy wil which is Iustice it-selâ—â— may be wholy and perfectly accomâ—plishâ—d in me thy sinful seruant Let me liue as-long as it pleaseth thee or dy in the very beginning of these my desires to loue send sicknes or health suddain or lingring death pouerty or aboundance good fame or that I be by al the world despised and in fine in al do with me as it is most for thine honour For in this I plaâ—e al my comfort and happines faithfully to serue thee and to be little or great in thine eyes as seemeth best to thee For I accompt it a sufficient reward for al that euer I shal be able to do or suffer that thou hast admitted me vnworthy wretch into a place of liuing where I may know and euen see with mine eyes how to serue and please thee this I say is more then can be deserued by me For to serue thee is an honour aboue al that can be imagined by me yet without any regard of recompence it is due to thee that I serue and loue thee with al the forces of my body and soul which grant I may now begin to do and perseuer therin til my end that I may for thy own sake obtain the happines eternally to praise thee O remoue al impediments between my soul and thee Let me dy to al created things that I may liue alone to theeâ— O let al creatures be to me as if they were not to the end I may more fully attend to thee in the bottome of my soul where I wil in silence harken to thee Speak Peace to my soul that I may be capable of thy voice more sweet then al things whatsoeuer Speak to my hart but speak so as I may hear thee Teach me how to practise to thy honour those diuine vertues which make souls so pleasing to thee to wit Charity Humility Obedience Patience and Discretion which iudgeth between custome and true reason between opinion and thy true Iustice which manifesteth it self to those souls who seek only to loue and praise thee THIS pious soul hauing written thus far went no farther being surprised with a bodily indisposition vpoâ— the 29. or 30. of Iuly 1633. which proued to be hâ—r last sicknes that brought her to a happy death vpon the 17. of August following The last of these Confessions saue one she began as there appeareth vpon S. Mary Magdalens day being the 22. of Iuly next bâ—fore her death HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Sentences and Sayings of the same pious Soul found in some others papers of hers THE interior or Spiritual disposition os man is of that great and infinit worth and moment that so it be wel al other matters wil also go wel and be in good plight And the good state of the interior and therby also of the exterior proceedeth from the harkning to and following of the Diuine interior Cal or inspiration the which to a â—oul capable of an internal life is or ought to be as al in al. And wo to such a soul who ouercome by threats or perswaâ—ions from without or by temptations within her or other occasions whatsoeuer gâ—ueth ouer her prosecution of Mental prayer by meanes wherof only is she capable of discerning and following the diuine wil and Cal. And therefor ô you souls that are capable of internal prayer do you accordingly prosecute it and be grateful to God for the grace of it For it causeth the greatest happines that is to be gotten in this liâ—e and an answarable happines in the future For by it in this life one passeth through al things how hard and paineful soeuer they be By it we become familiar euen with God him-self and to haue our conuersation in Heauen By it al impediments wil be remoued between God and the soulâ— By it you shal receaue light and grace for al that God would do by you By it we shal come to regard God in al things and profitably neglect our selues By it we shal know how to conuerse on earth without prâ—iudice to our souls And in fine by it we shal praise God and become so vnited to him that nothing shal be able to separate vs for time or eternity from his sweet Goodnes And let him be al in al to vs who only can satisfy our souls He is his own Praise iâ— which and by wâ—ich we are infinitly happy though of our selues we aâ—e able to praise and loue him but in a very poore maner who can say that desire nothing but to loue and praise him that they are poor seeing he who is more theirs then they are their owne is so rich ond to whom nothing is wanting that should make him an infinit happines in this let vs ioy in this iet vs glory without intermission when we are not able to attend vnto him and praise him as we would let vs commend our hart and soul to the Saints in Hâ—auen who without ceasing praise our Lord Let vs do that by them which we are not able to do by our selues yea let vs desire him who is his own praise and only is able to do it as he dâ—serueâ—h to haue it done to supply what he desireâ—h we should wish him Lâ—t vs sâ—ek no other coÌ„foâ—t but to be able without al comfort to be true to him Let vs rest in him alone and and not in any thing that is or can be creaâ—ted Let vs not seâ—ke the gist but the giuer O hoW little is al the loue we can giue him in comparison of that he deserueth from vs where therefâ—r shal thâ—re be room for any created thing in out souls Let vs wish and desire and as far as it lyes in vs procure that al loue be giuen to him Let him haue al Glory al Honour and al Praise Let vs desire the fauour of none but him alone to whose free disposition let vs stand for time and eternity as absolutly by ouâ— wil as if we neuer had any other freedom of wâ—l in vs. Nothing we do or suffer let vs esteâ—me great for our sinnes deserue much more Let our whole care tend to the magnifying of him Let his honour bâ— ours and let vs seek nothing
regard in al things and as they haue interest in none so not any hath interest in them In that which they propose to Supeâ—iors they proceed as in al things els with al sincerity deâ—esting the contrary practise euen with those that are most aduerse and contrary to them much more with Superiors and whatsoeuer they desiâ—e to do they do it with such an indifferency thâ—t what euent soeuer come of it they remain in peace embracing it as Gods wil whose wil is their law If that which they propose either for the common good and peace of the house or for their own gâ—odâ— do not seeme fit in true Iustice or reason to Superâ—ors to be granted they impoâ—tune no farther nor desire the fauour of being condescended to in their motion â—ut rather remaining themselues indifferent that they determine and pâ—oceed in it to whom it appertaâ—neth A Superior hath greâ—t reason to take heed of putting a soul from the exercise of her internal Prayer or so ouerchardging hâ—r with labourss or solicitudes that she cannot not become râ—collected â—n her daily praier it being a soul that hath aptnes in her to make spiritual progresse by prayer and the other exercises of a Contemplatiue life yea not only the soul her-self wil feel the vnspeakable dammage that wâ—l come to her therby but also the Superior himself in the Obedtence which he expecteth and is due to him from her wil see the harme and loosse that come h by such beâ— reauing of the soul of her prayer For she who would by discreet prosecuting a course of mental praier haue become subiect iâ— it were necessary euen to the creature thaâ— is of the least esteeme or worth in the world becometh now for want of that strâ—ngâ—h and help which is gotten by such prayer to be almost impossible to be ruled by â—he wâ—sest man in the world For liuing in Religion as I can speak by experienceâ— if one be not in a right course of prayer and other exercisâ—s between God and our soul ones nature groweth much worse then euer it would haue been if she had liued in the world For pride and self-self-loue which are rooted in our soul by sinne findeth means to strengthen it self exceedâ—ngly in one in Religion if she be not in a coursâ— that may teach her and procure her truâ— Humility For by the corrections and contradictions of the wil which cannot by any be auoided but wil be liuing in a Religious Community I found my hart grown as I may say as hard as a stone and nothing would haue been able to haue mollified it but by being put into a course of prayer by which a soul tendeth towards Goâ— and learneth of him the lesson of truly humbling herself In which course being placed and euer tending to the increase of Humility euen the defects and errors she committeth either out of frailty or ignorance â—o turn to her gaine as giuing her occasion of the greater humbling of her-self to and vnder God and Humility and the loue of God wherein al her good consisteth do each of thâ—m increase the one the other fâ—r they are inseparable companions It is the grace of God and tending to him by way of loue that only can so enable a soul that no difficulty or disgrace can happen which she is not prepared for and therefor is able willingly to embrace the same Verily I can affirme this by mine own experience that a crosse word or slight reprehension before I got into thâ—s spiritual cours was more insupportable to me and did more disquiet my mind then al the difficulâ—ies or disgraces which since haue faln vpon me haue done For now me thinks though I be neglected by al the world yet by flying to our Lord he easeth â—e of al my burthen and as I haue desired to haue no other friend or comforter but him so it pleaseth him neither in doubts feâ—â—es paines disgraces nor in any other miseries whereunto this life of ours is so subiect to reiect me Only he exacts of me that in al the contradictions of wâ—l he sends me or permits to fal on me I wil humble my-self and be confident in his help Of Which if I do so I shal be much more sure then if in mine own hands I had a most absolut power None are able to presecute the waye of the Diuine Loue but they who are resolued to to deny themselues in al things and who willingly and wittingly adhere to no created thing For if the soul do willingly retain an affection to any such thing she is at a stop and can go no farther For God must be sought and loued wholy if we desire to arriue to Perfection Shee speaking of the Sanctity of the old Orders in old time when thâ—y were in their best case or in the Prime of their good Spirits writeth and sayeth as as followeth viz. THEN only the honour of God was sincearly without intermingling of human ends or interests intended and sought and al Orders with one consent of hart did concurre to the aduancement of that alone they then applied themselues to seueral exercises in the exterior euery one according to his Institute some more easy and some more strict some of more action and some of lesse yet interiorly their principal end was al one and that was to find and enjoy God in their souls and out of that perfect Charity which espâ—â—cially by those their internal exâ—rcises did groâ— in them they did eueâ—y one as God did require and enable them imploy part of their time in gaining or doing good to other souls Thâ—n there was no great care or solicitude about temporallâ—ties God taking care and being as it were solicitous to them Thâ—n there was indeed al sincere and real proceedings between them Then there was perfect amity without proper interest or fond affection to the impediment of theâ—r louing and seeking after God alone who is that One thing which only is necessary Then there was no acceptation of persons but they were contented so Gods honour were aduanced not caring though it were done by any other Order as wel as by themselues O Lord my God if this Spirit might be reuiued againe how much would my soul rejoice If Saint Benets his S. Francis h. s S. Igâ—atius his c. children were perfectly as this life wil permit vnited together and with one hart and consent seek and labour to aduance thy honour and praise as our founders do in Heauen which if we did then would the Sâ—irit of the primitiue Church flourish and thy torn and mangled members be healed and perfectly set againe together Then heretiks and sinners would easily be conuerted by them to thee Then there would be another learning then now there doth flourish in our Order and thou by them wouldst speak who makest the toâ—gues of infants eloquent Then they by prayer conuersing in a familiar and tender maner with thee would speak so that none would be
able to resist thee in them Then their iudgment would be so cleered that they would vnderstand most hidden mysteâ—ies Then an hower of praier would instruct them more fully then fifty years study can do they hauing by the meane of such prayer in al things relation to thee the only true wisedom and in whose light only is true light to be seen By louing thee and dying to themselues in al things they would become maisters of themselues and al the world would then noâ—hing moue them nor would any thing affright them becaus thou wouldst be their stay and comfort in al things If we wil do as we ought and as is best for vs we must be subiect to the wil of God in al things without exception And this is the beâ—efit of an internal life that it makes one capable of seeing and knowing Gods wil and â—lso most ready to performe it Which way soeuer he signify it to them which makes them obey as readily and willingly meerly for Gods sake and out of obedience to him a simple or imperfect Superior as they would an Angel or the Wisest creature in the world yea if it were possible that a worme or any other creature were ordained by God to rule ouer them â—hey would with al their harts embrace his wil by them For without this total subiectâ—on to God it is impossible to become truly Spiritual For if we resist his wil in our Superiors in vaine do we pretend to please him This vertue therefor of Obedience we must learn of him the which must be grounded vpon true ' Humility that must be our stay in al things And those two vertues of Humility and Obedience together with the diuine vertue of Discretion he wil teach vs if we do our parts in seeking to become more more humble and subiect to him For seeing it is his wil we should obey and become truly Humble how can we doubt but he wil giue vs the grace if we Humbly and perseuerantly beg it of Him and practise those vertues vpon occasions as wel as we can For he himself hath saâ—d whâ—n we aske our father bread he doth not giue a stone nor if we aske him fish wil he giue a serpeâ—t much lesse wil he deny vs what is necessary to make vs pleasing to him and we seeking or desiring nothing but by true loue to be faithful to him O Praier praier able to obtaine al things O how cometh it to passe my Lord that this Oâ—â—ipotent thing â—as some of thy deare seruaÌ„ts tearme it praier should be so vnknown yea and euen to them whom thou tearmest the Salt of the earth contemned I meane Mental praier at least for the practise of poore simple women for whom they hold it aboue al things most dangerous euen to my own knowledg as I haue known affirmed by Superiors of seueral Orders O misery to be truly lamented by al that haue or may haue tast iâ— praier and by the effect thereof know how sweet a thing it is to attend only and wholy to the praise and loue of Goâ— Surely the want of the wisedom which by praier the Saints did gaine is the cause why cústome and opinion do take place for the most part in this world of true reason Surely neuer was the world reformed of its sins and errours but it must be by the wisedom which cometh from God and is farre different From that which is accounted Wisedom by the world which as S. Paul saith is folly before God CERTAIN OTHER DEVOtions of the same deuot Soul D. Gertrude More which she left written in her Breuiary In the fore part of her Breuiary she had framed and written the ensuing praier for her due performance of the diuine Office viz Al you that blesse our Lord exalt him al you can for he is greater then al your praises OMNIS SPIRITVS LAVDET Dominum Let euery spirit praise the Lord. AND I â—hy poore creature who am not worthy to name thee my Lord my God and al my good do heer in the preâ—sence of al thy Celestial Court desire 〈◊〉 peâ—form this my Office with al diligenâ—â— and with an amourous affections towards thee my â—oâ— who hast imposâ—d this sweet and most to be desired obligation vpon me sinner who doth not deserue any such honour or comfort from thee as to be admitted to ioine my cold and frozen praises with al those who praise thee either on earth or in heauen where al to my comfort do without ceasinâ— continually praise thee And for what is wanting in me for the performance thereof as I should and ought to do supply it out of the superaboundance of thâ— merits and mercâ— I desire to say it with al my hart according to the intention of our holy Mother the Catholick Church of which I desire through thy grace to liue and dy a true member be thâ—u according to her desir Adored Blessed Magnified and supreamly Superexalted by â—t Let it be to the honour of thy al Immaculaâ—e Mother the Lady and Queen of Angels and Saints to these in a particular maner â— viz to my good Angel our most holy Father S. Benet S. Scholastica S Ioseph S. Peter and S. Paul S. Iohn Enangelist S. Iohn Baptist S. Thomas and my deare S. Augustin S. Mary Magdalen S. Gertrude and in fine al that are in Heauen haue by it to them exhibited by thee what thou willest and desirest should be I beseech thee also that I may by it pray to thee or al afflicted pained tempted and troubled that they may please and praise thee in those their miseries and ouercome them to their comfort and thy glory I also offer to thy sweet Mercy al those souls who by deadly sin are enemies to thee which is indeâ—d the misery of miseries O lét them return to thee wâ—o art our beginning and the true Center of our souls from whom to be separated by sin â—s a most greiuous hel and to whom to be vnited by grace is a most sweet Heauen Conuert therefor and recal those souls to thee for whom â—hou spaâ—edst not â—hy most pretious Bloud shedding it to the very last drop for vs finners I offer thee also my Parents who haue placed me heer in thy house where here I may euen heare and see how to serue thee and where I may night and day attend to thee and praise thee my amiable and most to be desired beloued whom to serue and to be obliged to loue is the only happines in this world and to whom to be tyed by vowes and other obligations of Religion is a most sweet seruitude and yoâ—e and so sweet that no liberty is to it to be compared I offer thee also our holy Congregationâ— and al that euer or shal desire my poore vnworthy prayers and aboue al I offer thee al those in earth or Purgatory which thy diuine Maiesty would haue me pray for to thee beseeching thee that tâ—y Diuine
vnto thee who art my hope from my youâ—h and am displeased with my-self for hauing been so vngrateful to thy sweet mercy acknowledging before Heauen aâ—d earth that nothing is iust but that which thou disposest and nothing is wel done saue so far as it is done by thee so much as any thing I do or say is only of mine own wil and desire so far it iustly deserueth punishment to thee be al glâ—ry In nothing is true Peace but in seekâ—ng after God aâ—one and in resting â—n him aboue al his giâ—ts O my God when shal I be able to say Quis me separabit à Charitate Dei VVho shal separate me from the Charity of God O when shal I by true loue become vnited to thee the only desire of my hart and soul Vsquequo Domine obliuisceris me in finem Vsquequo auertis faciem tuam à me How long wilt thou forget me vnto the end Hâ—w long doth thou turn away thy face from me wilt thou for euer be angry with thy poor seruant Behold thou knowst I desire no other comfort vpon earth then to be able without offending thee to liue without al comfort human or diuine O how litâ—le to be esteemed is al the solaces this world can afford The wicked haue been telling me of their delights but they are not like those of thy Law What comfort can any creature lâ—uing afford a soul that sigheth and longeth after thee alone my God and is bannished from the beloned of her soul Verily my God it is only thy-self that can reioyce and comfort such a soul thou only art sweet and al things compared to thee are as nothing and lesse then nothing O my Lord and my God tel me is there any thing in Heauen or on Earth that can satisfy my soul besids thee No certainly Why then dost thou permit me thus to wander from thee who art only worthy to be desired and beloued by my soul O my most deare God who can comprehend the misery that soule suffereth that taketh comfort or desireth any comfort from any creature O how long shal I be subiect to this mysery of inordâ—natly louing thy creatures so that it is an impediment to the louing of thee my Creator who art the supreame Good To thee alone is al loue due and we do steal from thee when our affection is willingly caried to any thing els whatsoeuer O my God my Mercy let vs loue thee as thy diuine Maiesty who art Lord of al things in whose power al things do stand let me I say loue thee as thou wouldst be beloued by me O my Lord as-long as the peace of my soul dependeth of men I can neuer repose in thee or â—ind thee in the bottom of my soul What came I into Râ—ligion â—or but to loue and praise my God my Lord and al my good O when shal I as I desire loue thee and please thee my God and al my desire O my God how cometh it to passe that thou whose mercies are super omnia opera eius Aboue al his works shouldst be now tearmed to be terrible and hard to be pleased Verily I am a sinner and the greatest of al sinners and yet I haue found thee so good and easily pleased that nothing is more pleasant then to serue thee for loue and to beare thy yoke from our youth The yoke of sin is heauy but thine is sweet aboue a the contâ—ntments and pleasures of this world Let those that seek not thee and that desire any thing willingly but thee feare and return to theâ— but let the harts of them that loue thee reioice O Lord. But can I say I loue Verily not I. But shal I for this feareâ— No my God at least not so as to loose confidence which hath in it a great remuneration For seeing by thy grace I desire to loue and to leaue al for loue I wil hopâ— in thy Mercâ— let it assist my extreame frailty anâ— pouerty Of my-self I am nothing but in thy power I shal be able to do al things Thou knowst that I desire to leaue al for thy sake and that if I knew any thing that I loued to the impediment â—of my truly seruing thee it would be so greâ—t a gâ—eif to my soul that nothing in Heauen or earth could comforâ— me til I see my-self freed from that miserable bondage by thy aâ—â—isting Graceâ— which I implore from the bottom of my soul Set me free I mosâ— humbly beseech thee by the multitude oâ— thy Mercies from the sinnes into which I daily fal through my frailty remoue al impedâ—ments between my soul and thee for I am frail aboue al measure Let me liue to thee dying to al other things whatsoeuer Let me find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul Let al creatures be â—ilent that thou alone maist be heard by me And I wil not trouble my-self with them without who are puffing and blowing and thereby raising vp the dust of multiplicity into their own and others eyes Let me enter into the most retired place of my soul and sing loue songs to thee my Al and only Good regarding thee with the simple eye of my soul and sighing out certaâ—n vnspeakabe groans in this pilgrimage of mine into the eares oâ— the only beloued of my hart and soul wo is me that euer I offended such a God! Be propitious O Lord vnto my sin for it is great O Mercy which hath neither end nor measure haue pitty on me and forgiue me my sins Amen God! Let thy Truth and not the blindnes of my own ignorance speak to me Speak Lord for thy seruant heareth or at least desireth to hear thee Behold I set open the eares of my soul that I mny heare my beloued speak Iustice and Peace to my hart For thy voice is sweet and thy face comely and there is none like vnto thâ—e in Beawty and wisedom Thou my God the repose of my labour the ioy of my soul and the comfort of my hart Be to me al in al and aboue al which can be enioyed ot desired Let me O let me rest in thee and in no created thing whatsoeuer Simplify my soul that it may be able to adhere to thee my God transcending al created things O when shal my soul forget al and only be mindful of thee the most pure spirit resting in thee aboue al thy Graces and Gifts O when shal I be by profound Humility reduced to the nothing which only makes a a soul capable of thee who art al good things who art that simple good in which nothing is wanting How long shal I glory in any created thing and seek my-self to the dishonour of him with out whom I could neither haue life nor being much lesseâ— to be able without him to do any thing meriting grace and Saluation O my God when wilt thou set me free that I may glory in thee alone and not by pride exalt
dust and ashes which is blown awâ—y with euery wind and hath no stability in it but so far as it is holpen by thy meere Mercy What flesh dareâ—h glory in itself or presume it is able to do any good Verily my God if I had most couragiously vndergon al the temptations miseries and afflictions that haue been or euer shal be by al thy seruants together I ought not to think my-self able to suffer the least that can be imagined as of my-self but iustly ought to feare mine own frailty Let them that glory therefor glory in thee and not in themselues O that some little spark of that true light which true Humility causeth would enter into my soul and neuer depart out of it til I were wholy trasformed into that loue which giueth thee al and it-self nothing sauing its own defectuousnes Thou only art Iust thou only Holy and I the most vile and contemptible of al thy creatutes in thine eyes who discerneth most cleerly how it stands with me for my pride and other my abominable sinnes Wash me in thy Bloud and I shal yet become whiter then snow What would it auaile me if I were neuer so great in the eyes of men yea euen as great as I most vnworthy am in mine own Could they saue me or iustify me in thy sight Is it not affirmed by the Spirit of al Truth Vanitas omnis homo viuens Al liuing man is vanity without any exception of persons Verily my God we are indeed but as we are in thy sight who iudgest according to the Humility of our hart which is hidden from the sense of man Man may iudg that to be Humility which indeed is pride and there is no pride so great as that which clotheth it-self vnder he colour of Humility but thou canst not be deceaued by any O happy soul that only desireth thee to be a witnes of her desirs endeauours and intentions Happy they that are approued by thee my God though heâ—r they be despised neglected and contemned by the whole world With what face can my soul tel my God I desire to loue him if I do it not more willingly then I do vndergo the hard censures of men Shal I desire that which I do or say may be wel thought of by others since my God him-self was thought to do al he did in the power of Beelzebub Shal she who hath done nothing that is good be in esteeme when as her beloued who is goodnes and Iustice it-self was despised and contemned O my God far be this disloyalty from my hart Let me suffer for my sinnes that I may become pleasing in thy sight which is al my soul desireth O my God when shal I find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul When shal the eyes of my body be so closed from beholding al vanity that the eyes of my soul may be cleered by thee to the discerning of truth Truly thou art a hidden God and none can walk in thy light but the peaceful Humble patient and clean of hart O if we did but once see in thy light of truth how little we are able to do or suffer of our selues we would tremble to think we were able to do any thing that were good or to attribute any thing to our own endeauours Nisi Dominus aedificauerit domum in vanum laborauerunt qui aedificant eam Nisi Dominus custodierit ciuitaetem fruâ—tra vigilat qui custodit eam Vnles God build the house in vaine do they laâ—our who build it Vnles God guard the City in vaine do they watch who guard it It is in vaine for you to rise before light O light shine in my soul and let not the darknes of mine own ignorance ouerwhelme me any longer Let my soul loue that it may liue in and to thee alone my Lord God VVhen wilt thou giue me the graâ—e of true Humility which is so much spoken of and so hard to be known what it is indeed O we can neuer while we lâ—ue in this world be secure from falling into the cursed sin of pride which maketh souls more odious to thee then any oâ—her sin whatsoeuer O my God helpe me out of this snare which laieth open the way to al other sinnes O who dare though hee had been rapt into the third Heauens with S. Paul attribute any gift or grace to his owne desert What haue we that we haue not receaued and if we haue â—eceaued it wherof should we glory O how soone do we loose the the labour of many years in one moment by pride God protecteth vs and directeth vs if we remain humble but in our pride he leaueth vs to our selues til we see and feele to our cost our own weaknes and misery O how plaine doth it appeare to those who are now secure for al eternity in thy Heauenly Kingdom that if thou hadst with drawn thy grace from them while they liued heer their case would haue been most miserable O how far are they from attributing any thing to their own metits saue so far as they were meerly enabled therto by thy grace And how far short do they esteeme their deserts to be of the Glory and Honour they receaue from thy Merciful and bountiful hand What pains what labours what suffering of disgraces can deserue to enioy thee and see theeâ—ace â—ace to face â—or euer and euer Certainly those who enioy this happines haue receaued it by the merits of thy most bitter death and Passion which God graunt may bring me wretch also to Saluation Amen O Loue loue loue when shall nothing els liue in me but thy true loue my God how long shal I remaine deuided from thee When shal I by pure and perfect loue be vnited to my God al impediments being remoued When shal no created thing be able to diuert my soul from attending to my Lord God When shal I be able to suffer without offending my God or being weary thereof O how little true peace doth that soul enioy who careth for the praises of men or feareth their dispraises Nothing more slippery nothing more vnconstant nothing more vncertain then the fauour or friendship of man who to day wil be thy friend and extol thee to the skies to morrow none wil haue thee lesse in esteeme then he and what a misery then is it to place happines or security in the fauour of man And this ô my soul thy God permits thee to see to the end thou shouldst adhere to him alone and not to that which is subiect to fail Desire the friendship of God alone and then his friends both in Heauen and earth shal be ready to serue thee for thy aduancement in his loue and seruice What can any man diminish of thy good by his speaking or thinking il of thee Or what can he add to thee indeed by highly esteeming of thee Remember that al Praise is due vnto God but to thee confusion of face
defiled and deformed soul doth aspire Behold I do extol now thy deare seruice to the skie professing and protesting that there is no liberty so sweet as to be bound and obliged by vowes to serue thee for loue Thou true and most blessed God how didst thou with a most sweet and seuere kind of Mercy receaue chek and conuince me straying and flying from thee by shamefully seeking that in thy creatures which is only to be found in thee to wit comfort and peace O Lord I am thy seruant say vnto my soul I am thy Saluation and al that is within me shal say Quis similis tibi Deus meus VVho is like vnto thee my Lord God Behold I haue had an auersion from al that which thou louest and an inclination to al which thou hatest But thou hast broken my bands and I wil offer thee a Sacrifice of Praise submitting henceforth my stifneck to thine easy yoke and my shoulders to thy light but then Vnderneath a picture of B. Iohn de Cruce she writ as followeth viz. O Blessed and pure Saint pray for me sinful wretch who am not worthy to cal vpon thee yet coafiding in thine inflamed charity I commit and commend my-self to thy sweet protection now and at the dreadful howre of my death remember me I beseech thee Amen To some Collections which she drew out of S. Augustins Confessions she added as followeth Good God be merciful to mine iniquities for this deare Saints sake of thine whose Humility doth so astonish me that I cannot choose but cry with a loud voice in my hart O how admirable art thou in thy Saints What are his whole Books of Confessions but a profound acknowledgment of his sinnes whieh he doth not only confesse to thee but to al the world to the end that al may perpetually praise thy Mercy But O my God for this Humility of his thou hast highly exalted him for which be thou eternally magnified and praised by al creatures He was one of those sinners for whose conuersation There was more ioy in Heauen then vpon ninty nine Iust and not without great cause seeing he was to be a chief pillar in thy Church and one who might and did draw infinit sinners by his words and writings out of the mire and dreggs of sinne and taught them to submit themselues to thiue easy yoke and to seâ—ue thee for loue and to glory in nothing but thee Yea what is wanting in his words that may inuite our souls to loue thee with al our harts with al our strengths and our neighbour as our selues Who can speaâ—e in the words of thine own Oracles more comfortably to sinners then he hath done â—n fine hâ—s words are so amorously sweet in thy Praises that euen my frozen soul had been melted thereâ— by into thy praise He for thy sake be an Aduocate and Intercessor to thee for me the most sinful and contemptible of al thâ— seruants he I say to whom many sinnes wâ—re forgiuen because he loued much whom I desire together with al the Celestial Court to Adore and Praise thee for me who am not worthy to name thee who be euer blessed Amen In a Collection which she was making out of the Booke of Psalmes she added to some verses as followeth Psal. 23. vers 6. THis is the generation of them that seeke hâ—m of them that seek the face of the God of Iacob I pray God it may proue so with vs to his Honour and Glory â—sâ—l 31. veâ—s â—0 I wil giue thee vnderstanding and wil instruct thee in the way tâ—at thou shalt go I wâ—l fasten mine eyes vpon thee who is not wholy inflamed with a desire to seeke after God alone to heare such a promise from his own mellifluous mouth Psal. 35. vers 10. Because with thee is the fountain of life and in thy light we shal see light I beseech al those deuout souls that shal peruse this book to labour carefully for that light which the Prophet heer speaketh of which proceedeth from loue and not from human wisedom This light by which we shal discerne truth from falshood is gotten by conuerâ—ing with Almighty God and humbling our selues vnder his mighty hand This light hath taught many their way to God that could neither write nor read Sweet Iesus make vs of the number of these little ones to whom this light is reuealed which is hidden from the wise and prudent which is bestowed vpon those that faithfully adhere to God and not on those that glory rather in themselues them in him He be Blessed and Praised by al for euer and euer Amen Psal. 86. vers 5. Reueale thy way to our Lord and hope in him and he wil do it A comfortable saying for those that God permits stil to remain do whâ—t they can in their imperfections v. 7. Haue no emulation in him that appeareth in his way v. 6. Be subiect to our Lord and pray him Note this wel v. 11. The meeke shal inherit the land and shal be delighted in multitude of peace If we truly labour for his peace which is in much Patience the God of Peace wil be amongst vs. v. 25. When he shal fal he shal not be bruised because our Lord putteth his hand vnder O what an incouradgment is this to a poore frail soul Let vs notwithstanding our imperfections confidently and amoâ—ously when we fail hope in his Mercy and then He wil heal and helpe vs who makes vs so many sweet promises VVho be blessed by al creatutes for euer and euer Amen v. 26. I haue been yong for I am old and I haue not seene the iust forsaken nor his seed seeking bread Why do we distruct then who haue dedicated our selues wholy to God fearing ro depend only of his diuine Prouidenâ—e which is the greatest happines in this world and so much to be desired if we had so much loue and couradge as we should Psal. 38 v. 8. Doubtles al things are vanity euery man liuing O my poor soul take good notice of this verse Adhere to our Lord whose years neuer fail and whose helpe is alwaies at hand Giue that to God that is Gods and that to Caesar that is Caesars marke what the Prophet faith in the same Psalme viz. And now what is my Expectation is it not our Lord and my substance is with thee Psal. 39. vers 15. But thou O Lord make not thy considerations far from me thy Mercy and thy truth haue alwayes receaued me O be thou euer blessed for it by al creatures my God and Al. Amen Psal. 40. vers 1. Blessed is the man that vnderstandeth concerning the needy and the poor in the euil day our Lord wil deliuer him O my poor soul though thou hast not where with to releeue the poor in thâ— iâ— huÌ„ger thirst yet dispaire not to gaine this blessing that our Lord wil protâ—ct thee in the euil day which thou standest so much need off For to pray for
of my death obtain for me wretched sinner confidence in his Mercies which are as thou knowst aboue al his works I am not worthy to loue but he is worthy of al loue and Adoration I cannot without great ioy remember these following words of the Prophet I saie hoping his Goodnes wil for his own sake giue me leaue to apply them to me poor and sinful soul though I desetuâ— nothing of my-self neuer hauing done him any faithful seruice in al my life Chap 43. v. 1. And now thus saith our Lord that created thee and formed thee Feare not because I haue redeemed thee and called thee by thy name Thou art mine 2. When thou shalt passe through the waters I wil be with thee and the flouds shal not couer thee when thou shalt walke in fire thou shalt not be â—uâ—ned and the flame shal not â—urn inâ— thee O blessed Saint make intercession for me that I may be confident in him who thus aboundeth with Mercy Amen 3. Because I am the Lord thy God the Holy one of Israel thy Sauiour 4. Since thou becamest honourable in mine eyes and glorious I haue loued thee 5. Feare not becaus I am with thee 6. And euery one that inuocateth my name for my glory I haue created him formed him and made him 8. Bring forth the blind people and hauing eyes the deaf and he that â—ath eares 9. Let them giue their witnes be iustified 10. In very deed you are my witnes saith our Lord and my seruants whom I haue chosen that you may know and beleeve me and vnderstand that I my self am 11. I am I am the Lord and there is no Sauiour beside me and there is not that can deliuer out of my hand 16. Thou saith our Lord that gaue away in the Sea and a paâ—h in the vâ—hâ—menâ— waters 18. Remember not former things and looke not on things of old I am he that takes cleane away thine iniquities for mine own sake and I wil not remember thy sins 26. Bring me into remembrance and let vs be iudged together Tel me if thou â—aue any thing that maiest be iustified Hethertho the words of the Prophet I saie S. Iohn 2. v. 12. I writ to you litle children becaus your sins are forgiuen you for his name And now my children abid in him that when he shal appeare we may haue confidence and not be confounded of him in his coming My dearest beleeue not euery spirit and euery spirit that dissolueth Iesus is not of God Feare is not Charity but perfect Charity casteth out feare Let vs therefore loue God becaus God loued vs. This is the Charity of God that we keep his Commandments and his Commandments are not beauty O infinit Goodnes who art Charity it-self powre thy Grace aboundantly into my poor foul I inuoke thee my God by the merits and intercession of al thy Saints in Heauen and seruants on earth to haue mercy on me now in this my last extreamity Al I desire is that in life and death I may be disposed of according to the multitude of tâ—y most aboundant Mercies a fountain neuer drawn dryâ— Al my ioy is in that thou art my God and that I am at thy disposing Though I am poor in al vertnes yet I am confident to be partaker of thy Merits ó sweet Iesus which thou liberally bestowest according to thy wil and pleasure O be thou blessed in al thou disposest O my God who art al I desire Into thy hands I commend my spirit who art blessed for euer Amen The most learned of D. S. Augustin saith Aiâ— eruditissimus Doctorum Augustinus O eternal Truth and true Charity and O aeterna veritas vera Charitas Deare Eternity Thou art my God to thee chara Eteruitas Tu es Deus meus I suspire day and night This is that subliue Tibi suspiro die ac nocte Hic est sublimis ille Contemplatiue Augustine Contemplator Augustinus Cuius cor Charitas Christi vulneraueraâ— whose hart the Charity of Christ had wounded O my deare Saâ—nt whose great Humility I can neuer to much praise and admire pray for her to whom thou hast been in her greatest afflictions and miâ—eries euen as a Father and Mother for which be exhibited honouur to thee by the most sweet hart of IESVS our Sauior the Son of the liuing God by which and from which doth most aboundant sweetnes flow to al the elect In the power that he gaue thee being one by whom he bound and loosed sinners giue an aboundant benediction to thy poore seruant and beg of my God that I may neuer seek or intend any thing for time or eternity but his honour and Glory and that I may so humble and subiect myself vnder his mighty hand thaâ— for his loue I may willâ—ngly submit my-self in what maner he pleases to al creatures Let me commit and commend my-self to thy protection who art a careful receauer of al my petitions and who art one who in a most particular maner Godâ— hath giuen me confidence in in al â—he necessities wherein my soul doth stand need of an Aduocat and friend O happy change to leaue al friends on earth to find the more certaiu assured friends and Intercessors in Heauen who are neuer absent neuer vncertain nor euer do they fail as those in this world are subiect to do Be therefor mindful of me I beseech thee in my life also in my last extremity and remember that when affrighted with the multitude and greiuoushes of my sinnes and imperfections I durst scarsely cast vp mine eyes to Heauen or cal vpon God and his Blessed Mother who might iustly disdain so vngrateful and contemptible a creature Yet by thy meanes and being incouradged by thy example and reading thy life and books so ful of Conâ—idence and sweetnesâ— I found my hart lightned and my spiâ—it refreshed and my soul exceedingly comforted finding in thee and by thee expressed what a good God we haue and that as his Mercies are aboue al his works so he is able to forgiue more then we can offend Thou knowest thy very name when I am sad and afflicted doth refresh me to behold it and seemeth to smile vpon me in my miseries assuring me of â—hy helpe in al my soul standeth need of thee in this my pilgrimage and ban shment from my God who is my only loue life desire and al my happines Tâ— whom for euer be al Glory Honour anâ— Adoâ—ation by al as wel on earth as in Heaâ—enâ— and whom by his sweet Mercy and thy intercession I desire and hope to loue and sâ—rue for euer and euer Amen Omnes qui habebant infirâ—os ducebant illes ad Iesum sanabaâ—â—ur Al that had diseased brought thâ—m to Iesus and they were curedâ— To whom therefor should I fly in my manifold infirmities but to thee my Iesus my Goâ— and my Sauiour Who is worthy oâ— our loues our thoughts our harts and our souls but
say of him Yet it hath pleased God to honour him so much as to haue him euen in a publick instrument which I haue heard read couertly pointed at taxed and accused of this maner of proceeding They taking for their ground the impeâ—fections of some through meere frailty committed in this kind As also becaus some who are of other wayes and vnderstand not this affirme it may be inferred out of his books that subiects in what they pretend to haue a diuine cal to may resist contradict and disobey Superiors VVhich that it may be inferred I cannot deny â—ince a meaner wit then he that affiâ—meth this may draw strange consequences out of any booke in the howse if he wil looke vpon them with no other intention but to carpe But if they wil taâ—e one place with another and consider what we beleeue and practise also according to our impâ—rfection and fraâ—lty they wil see and find in practise the quite contrary And what was allowed by Fa. Baker concerning shifting to get time and meanes for ouâ— prayer was but in case that Superâ—ors did account it but an vnprofitable exercise VVhich was the only thing I haue oâ—ten heard him affirme in which he would euer allow a soul to deale in any shifting maner with their Superiors vnder what pretence soeuer And this in it-self was neuer held to be a sinne but an imperfection which he also thâ—ught it to be But this râ—ason for his as it were winking at their imperfection was to make souls that were apt for praier to make the hâ—gher esteeme â—hereof and perceiue the necessity of prosecuting it daily and diligently too if they euer desired to arriue to any perfect degree in the loue of God VVhich esteeme if it had not bâ— such meanes been brought into the howse It would haue been hard for â—im to haue made a soul beleeue and acknowledg the necessity and nobility of it For it may be practised by some a long tâ—me before they find any extraordinary benefit by it and til they find the effect of it in their owne souls they may be apt to neglect and make no esteeme of it in these days when al most euery one of esteeme inuaigh against it as the most dangerous or vnprofitable exercise in the world For some hold one of these opinions and somo hold the other to wit Some hold it only vnâ—rofitable Others say it is very profitable if one could auoid the perils of it which yet in women they hold a thing almost impossible VVhich opinion of the two I most feared because those that hold it pretend by their obiection to haue some experience in a spiritual life And therefor their words are the apter to make in a soul the greater impression but as for the former it plainly sheweth a meere ignorance in the affirmers To by carryed away therefor with this opinion and errour of the dangerousnes of a spiritual life Is that which by these writings I intended and desired to auoid by the helpe and Grace of Almighty God And therefor when I was cleare and not obscured with feare which I am very subiect to I set down these things to be a helpe and comfort to me amâ—dst the oppositions to that which I haue found and experienced so proper and good for me VVhich yet whether it be or no my Superiors wil be better able to iudg seeing not only what I beleeue in al and my opinion in these things they so much feare our errour in but also my practise in a particular manner Now as for the shifting about our Prayer which is the cheif ground of the forsaid publick instrument before mentioned that wholy tendeth supposing our beleif and practise to be according to the disgrace of those who are in that cours of prayer and to affright those who come after from following their aduise in any thing They being there painted out in plaine tearmes to be enemies to the gouuernment of Superiors as hauing had their instructions by a strange and indirect way and meanes I say for al that hath been faid in this kind of following our prayer come on it what wil through opposition of Superiors I dare affirme that opinion of Fa. Bakers hath to vs been recalled by him long before the publishing of the instrument For it was only for an entrance uot for a continuance since a soul wel setled in prayer would not need it-though at first for foure or fiue years a soul by being hindred from two serious recollections in a day by her Superiors would haue perhaps been in great danger of inconueniency to her progres and also neuer haue been able to haue obeyed â—s she should VVhich is a certain effect of a truely prosecuted course of prayer â— supposing it be one who is fit for it â—or otherwise it may be very conuenient â—or her to be put into some other cours more proper for her and if she resist Supuriors in it she wil be in danger of great inconuenience if not errours by her misvnderstanding and mis-applying that which was not for her turn and this we haue in this very howse seen and known which if by vntimely hindring a soul apt for it a Superior procureâ— he wil also incurre an inconueniency though not so great as hers VVhich is that she who would by prosecuting discreatly a course of Mental praâ—er haue become subiect if it were necessary euen to a very dâ—gg becometh for want of that strength and helpe which therein shee got to be almost impossible to be ruled by the wisest man in the world For liuing in Religion as I can speake by experience if one be not in a right course between God and our soul Ones nature growes much worse then euer it would haue been if they had liued in the word For Pride and self loue which are â—ooted in our soul by sin findeth meanes to strengthen themselues exceedingly in one in Religion if she be not in a course that may teaâ—h her and procure her true Humility For by â—he corrections and contradictions which cannot be auoided by any liuing in a Religious community I found my hart â—rown as I maâ— say as hard as a stone and nothing could haue been able to haue mollified it but by being â—ut into a course of prayer by which a soul tendeth towards God and learneth of him the true lesson of humbling her-self VVhich effect I finding by following Father Bakers plaine simpleâ— easy and sweet instructions I was loath to change them for them I could not vnderstand Aâ—d for this reason by al the meanesâ— could imaginâ— I haue endeauoured to strengthen my-selâ— by writing gathering and thus as iâ— some part of my papers iâ— wil appeare addressing my speach to our Lord. This way iâ— so plaine and easy that aâ— long as the souâ— holdâ—th Humilitâ— it is impossible for her tâ— erre to her great incoÌ„ueniency at least in hâ— main point which â—s the loue of God For
iâ— less imports for smaler sins her imâ—erfectioÌ„s and errors or bangors â— speaking of sucâ— as are accounted such by some precise anâ— exact persons as to ouershoot herself iâ— that in which another would haue câ—mâ— off with honour or some such point nâ— way greatly to the purpose as to any hinderance to her course Yea by these things I say she rather gaineth then looseth since many timeâ— they are a great occasion of Humility to her soul which much aduanceth her and is aboue al cheifly necessary for her For loue to God and true Humility increase the one the other and are inseparable companions In fine as to the point of following Prayer when the Superior as that time would otherwise imploy her which I was speaking of before I say that after the soul hath been some gooâ— space practâ—sed in that exercise The Superiors cannot hinder her in it by imposing that which to them seemeth fit And the sâ—ul wâ—l haue no desire to resist them neither can shee do it without a check from God Almigâ—ty For no implâ—ymâ—nts which Religious women haue in Religion can hâ—nder them after they haue had a good entrance that the Superiors can impose vpon theâ— for if they pray not aâ— one time thy can easily pray at another or best of al pray with the work it-self and make the work their prayer This therefor being so that Fa Baker did this at fiâ—st but as a shift in the beginning there is no iust caus to find such fault with it he doing it for these two reaâ—â—ns First becaus some cheife Superiors had so poor an opinion of Prayer that they thought they did God good seruice when they hindered them who seeme to make esteem of it The other reason becaus thoâ—e he gaue his instructions to and seemed to him most fit for them were likly to come into place of Authority and thereby were not only themselues to suffer much by the continual opposiâ—ions they were like to find but also were to beare a great part of the others Burdens which were more feareful and had been a lesser time practised in the course who yet were likely if they were encouraged to prosper very wel in a spiritual and internal life These two were I say in part his reasons which made him go so far in this point And yet we that had these instructioÌ„s deliuered by him had them with such circumstances that we could not possibly take liberty in any thing that was contrary to our Superiours minds by his Books or words And verily I may with a safe conscience affirme that if I would neuer so fain I could not find any thing in his bookes nor in any of this iâ—structions on which I could ground my-self without a check in my conscience for doing the instructions wrongs to neglect omit shift of or sheightly to performe any thing of my Superiors commanding or ordaining Nor could I euer inferre any thing out of them but that they tende only and wholy to humble the soul and vrge her to seek desire and rest in God alone And this I dare affirme vnder al the Oaths in the world if Iustice by lawful authority should exact the same of me For not any book which he hat writ hath euer tended to any thing els then that we should liue with al submission and subiection to God and our Superiors And if he had taught â—he contrary an extraordinary effect of it would haue appeared in vs before now we hauing been dealt with being our-â—elues in authority as we haue been And â—ndeed in such maner that no humain inâ—tructions could haue inabled vs quietly to â—aue supported the same The grace of God only and tending to him by the way â—f loue could do it which so humbleth the soul that no difficulty or disgrace can haâ—pen which she expecteth not and â—herefor is abled willingly to embrace the â—â—me Verily I can affirme this by mine own experience that a crosse word or a slight reprehension befoâ—e I was in this course was more insupportable to me and did more disquiet my mind then al the diffiâ—ulties and disgraces which haue faln vpon me since haue done For now me thinks though I be neglected by the whole world By flying to our Lord he easeth me of al my burthen And as I haue desired to haue no friend or comfort but him so it pleaseth him neither in doubts feares payns disgraces nor any other miseries whereunto this life of ours is so subiect to reject me Only he exacts of me that in al the conâ—radictions he sends me I humble my-self and be confident of his help which if I do so I shal be much more sure then iâ— in mine own handsâ— had a most absolute power to help my-self And this humble confidence maketh ones way so cleare that the soul hath few or no questions in many years though they haue such very neere that are neuer so wel able to resolue themâ— This want oâ— questions is almost al the ground of difficulty between these souls and the Confessor who thinks himself neglected tâ— haue souls haue no more buâ—ines with hiâ— then in meere confâ—ssion But I know noâ— how the souls can â—elpe it though thereâ—by they should offend the whole world It seemeth to some a great presumptionâ— that the soul seemeth â—o think her-self fâ—â— to guide her-self and alâ—o by it they inâ—ferre that she sleighteth others though heâ— Superiors as not fit to gouern her so ignorant do they think shee doth esteem them But God and her own conscience knoweth that none of these things are the cause of her being so reserued as indeed she is vnles she be asked by them which if she be they wil see that she doth not in any kind sleight or neglect them yet in speaking she vseth discretion where and to whom for one Superior may be fit to be treated with in one point and another in another which none can iudge or tearme a breach of Obedience and yet this is the furthest that euer Fa. Baker taught And who would not think it a meere folly if I out of pretence of Obedience and greater Perfection should treat with one in matter of conscience in which I were doubtful who had such diâ—â—iculty with me in his naâ—ure that he were as little able to iudg in my case as I were in mine own For my part our Congregation giuing leaue for it and wanting those who are able to iudg aright in my case as wel as in others I should do not only my-self an iniury thus foolisâ—ly to go to work but also him whom I should thus treat with vpon these tearmes VVhich foolish proceedding is not a proper effect of true Obedience but rather a phansy and meere folly O how far is it then from Fa. Bakers meaning to teach or allow of any thing which may sauour of disobedience It is true that that which those tearm Obedience who draw it to nothing but
for thy abominable sins Giue al Glory vnto him with out whom thou couldst not so much as-haue a being My God be thou Adored and Exalted by al who art Blessed for euer and euer Amen Thou O sweet Iesu hast pronounced with thine own blessed mouth these words Consueor tibi Pater Domine Caeli terrae quia abscondisti haec à sapientibus prudentibus reâ—elasÌ„ti â—ae parâ—ulis Ita Paeter quoniam sic placitum fuit ante te I confesse to thee Father Lord of Heauen and Earth that thou hast hid these from the wise and prudâ—nt and reuealod them to little ones Yea Father for so it wel pleased thee These are the souls to whom thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light these obserue and see in the light of thy truth that al thou dost or ordainest is iust and true and that it is our sin and ignorance only that peruerteth the order of thy Iustice. O let vs crie out to thee and prepare our souls that in thy light we may see light For it is not human wisedom or knowledg that wil serue our turn to find out thee in the bottome of our soul for which we were created and for which our soul hath such a capacity that the very Angels are amazed to see so great an honour and fauour to be offered and bestowed vpon so poor and frail a creature and yet that we should turn a deaf eare to our beloued who saieth his delight is to be with the children of men O how pittifully doth this most sweet and merciâ—ul God of ours lament our losse and misery of loosing that happines of enioying him in our souls in an exâ—raordinary maner yea euen in this lifeâ— if we did not cast away our loue and affect on vpon created things neglecting and forgetting the noble capacity wherewith the hath most bountifully endued our souls Hear therefor what he sayeth by his Prophet Be ye astonished O Heauens vpon this and the gates thereof be ye extreamly desolate vpon it for two euils hath my people done viz. They haue left and forsaken me the Fountain of liuing water and haue digged for themselues cesternes Cesterns that are broken that are not able to hold waters O wo is me my God that I should thus haue â—orsaken thee Whaâ— meaneth this thy great Mercy I should haue lamented mâ—ne own misery of not only neglecting to seeke after thee alone but also of most miserably offending thee infinit waâ—es and thou bemoanedst my case as if some preiudice were therby to come to thee O what wouldst or couldst thou loose by my not being so happy as truly to seek after thy loue truly nothing seeing thy Glory cannot be added to or diminishâ—d by my misery But thy infinit Charity which brought â—hee into the world to suffer and dy for me is the reason of thy merâ—fful calling vpon my poor soul to which thou hast said I wil not the the death of a sinner but rather that he be conuerted and liue In the hope of this promise I fly to thee Thou who art able to do al thâ—ngs helpe me that can do nothing Thou knowst I haue placed al my hope and comfort in thee alone and that I deâ—est al that is in me which is displeasing in thine eyes Far be it from me to haue any other intention in any thing I do or omit but simply to please thee I renounce al inordinate affection to al created things whatsoeuer and whatsoeuer I do that is not done sincearly for thy loue and honour I most willingly submit my-self to any punishment thy iust and Merciful Iustice shal lay vpon me Giue what â—hou commandst and then exact what thou pleasest O my God is it much I serue thee whom al the world is bound to serue O what is more sweet then to serue thee for loue without any pretence of our own commodity for time or eternity Truly in this lyeth hidden the greatest comfort that a soul banished from thee is capable of receauing To â—hee who art the supreame and only true Good by al creatures be al Praise eternally giuen Amen This which next of al followeth she there writ as taken out of S. Augustin viz. I was not acquainted with that true interior Iustice which iudgeth not by custome but by the righteous Law of Almighty God O My God apâ—d te est fons viâ—ae in lumine tuo videbimus lumen Qui sequitur me non ambulat in tenebris With thee is the fountain of life in thy light we shal see light who followeth me walketh not in darknes and they that walke not in thy light can neuer iudg of things according to thy iustice but iudge according to custome or their own sense This true light is thy gift and Grace which thou only impartest in aboundance to tâ—e meek and humble of hart and to those who endeauour to regard and seek thee alone in al their actions in simplicity and sincerity of hart and who intend thee only in al they do or omit Vnderneath the picture there annexed of saint VVilliam Duke of Aquitain she had written as followeth viz. O my God through the meâ—its and intercession of this most glorious Saint be merciful to me sinner and giue me grace to loue and praise thee with al my soul and strength and neither for time or eternity to seek or desire any thing but only thy-self alone simply and purely by sincere and perfect loue resting in thee my God aboue al gifts and creatures and Adoring thee who art God Blessed for euer and euer Amen Amen Mans life on earth is a continuall warfar and liuing but a short time he is replenished with many miseries VVatch therefor and pray that you enter not into temptation By Humility and Praier we shal be able to passe through any difficulties To the image of death there annexed together with other enseiâ—nes of death she added these following words viz. O how little to be esteemed or desired is al that passeth away with time Thus far of her Deuotions written by her in her Breuiary within ihe year before she dyed HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Deuotions of the same pious soul D. Gertrude More A short Oblation of this smal work by the writer gatherer thereof to our most sweet and Merciful God MT GOD to thee I dedicate This simple work of mine And also with it hart and soul To be for euer thine No other motiue wil I haue Then by it thee to praise And stir vp my poor frozen soul By loue it-self to raise O I desir neither tongue nor pen But to extol Gods praise In which exces â—le melt away Ten thousand thousand waysâ— And as one that is sick with loue Engraues on euery Tree The Name and Praise of him she loues So shal it be with me IF the glorious light of thy Church Saint Augustin whose hart was so inflamed with loue that the whole world was a witnes thereof