and the Prophets Christ and his Apostles neither should we believe tho one came from the Dead XX. The Eternal Blessedness of HEAVEN considered as the Perfection of Holiness to quicken our desires and endeavors after greater Meetness to possess it DOth one year after another hasten me to the end of Time and doth the Blessedness of Eternity depend on the Communications I now receive from God on the preparations I now make and the meetness I can now attaine for Eternal Felicity in the presence of my God and Saviour O with what Intenseness of mind should I now prosecute that glorious object with what unwearied diligence should I run the race that is set before me Least I fall short of the Incorruptible Crown of Life how should every thing be undervalued and rejected that would divert retard or hinder me from pursuing this end Lord be not a stranger to my soul in this distant Wilderness state Let me see more of thy light be transform'd more into thine Image experience more of thy Love feel more of thy vital Presence and quickening Spirit let the divine life in my soul be more powerfull and the characters of thy Likeness be more legibly stampt upon it by the dayly exercise of Faith and Hope and holy Affections carry me thro this World till my Pilgrim state be over and thou hast brought me to perfect Everlasting Holiness And let the believing fore-thoughts of it fill all the powers of my soul with Joy and wonder Desire and Love Give me Lord to think aright of the Heavenly Glory as a confirmed State of positive perfect holiness of heavenly Light Love Liberty and Joy with the satisfying vision of God in the face of Christ and his impressed Likeness dwelling forever in the direct and steady view of his transforming Glory with compleat conformity of the soul to Eternal Goodness Truth and Love as its perfection esteeming nothing desiring nothing but that God and Christ may be glorified with an intire subjection to his will adherence to him Rest and Confidence in him swallowed up in the love admiration and praise of God and our Lord Jesus living in joyfull repeated Acts of Subjection Adoration and acknowledg'd Dependance ravisht to behold the Glory of God in the Face of Christ see his blessed Image perfect in every one of the Saints c. When all the present Blindness of our minds the errors of our Judgment the Perversness of our Will the disorder and rebellion of our Passions the remaining Aversation from God and disaffection to him which in this world we complaine of shall all be done away The Flesh shall no more lust against the Spirit or the Law in our Members against the Law of our Minds but an Everlasting Tranquillity and holy Peace take place a Peace which passeth all understanding without any outward Molestation or inward cause of disquiet Our corrupted Nature shall no more cast forth mire and dirt as now we shall have no more vaine or wicked Thoughts no more sinfull Fears or foolish Hopes unbecoming Heats unruly Desires sensual Inclinations Earthly Affections feeble slothfull Spiritless Duties dead and heartless Prayers cold Thanks givings c. but as we shall then know God without Error and see our Lord Jesus face to face so we shall love him without reserve more then now we can think and serve him without dullness and distraction and praise him without weariness the spiritual actings of our souls shall have no allay of drosse And thus shall we be with him and admire and injoy him without end Thus when Death is swallowed up in victory and what was imperfect is done away and what was corruptible and mortal hath put on Immortality God in Christ shall be All in All And when it is truly and perfectly so Then it is Heaven A Word tho commonly used as little understood as Holiness which is one of the greatest Mysteries in the World. But will hereafter be fully and delightfully understood by the Blessed Saints as the Malignity and intrinsick Evill of Sin shall be by the Damned Spirits Oh that I might now feel more of this Heavenly Life begun and carried on in my soul by a farther participation of his holy Image and conformity to his will by more vital effects of his indwelling Spirit in my soul forming it to be a Temple to himself for his own delightfull residence that forgetting that which I have received I may still be Covetous and desirous of more forgetting what I have attain'd I may press on with an holy Eagerness and Fervency towards the mark When I seriously examine my own heart had I nothing els to prove the weakness of my Grace the sinfull remainders of unbelief but the low desires and few confortable Thoughts the seldom joyfull prospect of this Blessed State how sad an Evidence were it that I breath with no more Impatience after that Blessed holy Rest in the injoyment of God and Christ and labor no more in preparing for it when all the Desires of our Souls shall be fix't on Him and filled with him as our Infinite and supreme Good and all the Expectations of Faith and Hope swallowed up in endless admiration gratitude and Joy being fully satisfied and at Rest in the Presence and vision of God without the least Inclination or Desire of change And by consequence There will be no need of Novelty as now to give a relish to our Happiness All Happiness in this world is by comparing a man's present Condition with his past or with that of some Inferiors But the Intrinsick Good Felicity and Joy of Heaven will need no such foile to set it off no such comparison to make it prized The Blessed Spirits will never lose the lively sense of that low and miserable Condition from which they were raised to so great a Glory and so will ever equally rejoyce in the Happiness of their Translation and wonderfull change And what was at first delightfull will for ever be so and not be disdain'd or lessen'd by a continuance as it happens in this world from the Emptiness shallowness and vanity of the Creature An Affectation of variety and desire of change proceeding allways from a sense of want But Holy Souls shall never be weary of seeing loving and injoying God his blessed presence will afford us undecaying and endless satisfaction Pleasures never to be interrupted or abated and never to ceas The blessed object is absolutely Infinite and so will be allways new to a finite understanding and continual fresh Communications from his infinite fullness must needs make our subjective Happiness to be allways new Eternally So. Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my diligent endeavors after a greater meetness to injoy so Great a Bliss And to that end consider whither any of those happy souls who have finisht their course and obtained the Prize do now regret their utmost diligence patience and perseverance during their short abode here to secure
devotion to God is therby extinguisht all the restraints of vice removed the floud gates of Impiety opened the encouragements of vertue the rewards of Holiness the foundation of Patience in Tribulation and suffering for Righteousness sake all at once taken away Lord confirm my belief of the invisible future state of Rewards and Punishments and let not Sadduceism and Infidelity damp my zeal in thy service or rob me of the comforts of this Life which if I have any solid ones must suppose the hopes of a Better Let others therefore o my Soul who expect not an Everlasting Heaven beyond the Grave place their affections on Earthly things and mind this world as if there were no better no other Let them who doubt or disbelieve the promised rewards of Eternity take up with what they must shortly leave and labor for the Bread that perisheth But since I profess to believe and seek the Life Everlasting let me dayly intertaine my self with the hopes of it and let all the flattering dreams of what is desireable upon Earth give place to nobler and better Thoughts Let me derive my principal Joy from the promise and expectation of that future felicity and indeavor nothing more then a meetness to pertake of it O my God my God! thou art my Life and Joy and Portion in thee and in thy love all my desires and hopes are answered and all my wants supplied How ever Evill this world is made by sin yet thou art the infinite and supreme Good. How mutable how uncertaine how perishing soever are all sublunary things yet thou art the rock of Ages the fountaine of Everlasting Life and hast apointed another world and another Life when this is ended wherein thou wilt be better known and loved and served and honored and communicate thy self more abundantly then now to those the desire of whose souls is towards thee that believe and love thee that partake of thine image and are devoted to thy fear The assurance of this and nothing els will answer the objection of the present vanity and misery we are subject to XII The consideration of the Death of others especially of Relations Friends and Acquaintance how to be improved What instructions we may learn by the sight of a Dead Carcass or a Deaths-head and the usual Motto on it and what by the Death of Holy Persons to quicken our desires to be as they HAth divine Patience added one year more to the number of my Days when so many others were removed by Death the last year Others whom a few moneths since I knew in vigorous health wiser stronger more likely to live and to answer the ends of Life then me some of them my near Relations and usefull Friends in whose converse I took delight and promised my self advantage by their Company and Exemples But they are taken and I am left Thy Holy will o Lord is done and they who were prepared are infinite Gainers by this my loss Quicken my preparations by following their piety to meet them in thy Heavenly Kingdom Let thy long suffering lead me to Repentance and suffer me not to slight thy warning by the death of others to expect my own Lord cure my Earthly mindedness and practical unbelief and by all such admonitions of thy Providence teach me to possess and use this world as knowing I must shortly leave it and let not the thoughts of my mortality wear off assoon as the funeral of my Friends is over Every year some or other of our Acquaintance drop into the Grave we attend them thither and lament it may be for a few days their departure and removal but consider not that others will ere long do the same for us it may before this year is ended Oh how soon do we forget our deceased Friends and our selvs who are likewise dying and count upon a long life which we cannot reasonably expect and hug the injoyments of this transitory world as if our present state would last for ever Will nothing but our own dissolution effectually convince us of our mistake and folly in this perticular Tho the arrows of Death flye continually round about us sometimes over our heads when Superiors are taken away sometimes fall at our feet when Children and Servants and inferiors dye sometimes on our left hand when an Enemy is cut off and while I am pleased with that in that very hour it may be another arrow on our right hand strikes the Friend of our bosome and delight and can we see all this that great and smal high and low friends and foes are all vanity and drop down dead round about us and shall we not consider that we are as vaine as they and must shortly follow shall we not by a Christian Chymistry extract Spirits out of thes dead Bones and by thes Examples learn the End of all Men and lay it to heart When ever I see the funeral of another let me think thus with my self why might not I have been that man or woman that is now carried to the Grave If we had been compared a few days since 't is probable I should have been thought as likely to have been his monitor by dying first as he mine By such an improvement of thes warnings the request of Dives to Abraham were in great measure granted for 't is a call from the dead that speaks loudly to us to consider our selvs and prepare in time for so great a change and say as the Prophet to Hezekiah Set thine house in order for thou shalt dye Can we look upon a Deaths-head and not remember what we shall shortly be may not much be learnt from its common motto Sum quod Eris Fueramque quod Es. I am that which thou shalt shortly be and have been that which thou art now that is I have been as gay and jocund as brisk and merry as proud and vaine as rich and great as careless and secure as honourable and as much esteemed as beautifull and as well beloved as witty and as learned as thou art or canst be now I valued my self as much upon my estate and trade and health and beauty upon my education profession imployments parts friends family c. as thou hast ever done or canst doe I lived in ease and pleasure in mirth and jollity I minded the world as much and indulged my self as much in sensuality and was as carefull of my body and pampered and pleased my flesh as much as thou and thought as little of a sudden death and prepared as little for such a change as thou dost but now my dry Bones are lookt upon with contempt and scorn but thou shalt shortly return to dust and be as vile as I am It cannot but affect us did we consider it to see Divers snatcht away in their Youth and outward Prosperity and in the midst of their sin and folly without any visible signs of true Repentance or in terrible anguish and horror for their past crimes
cure the staggering trembling Thoughts of an unbelieving Heart by greater measures of a lively Faith. That my desires may be strong and urgent and my diligence and stedfastness in the way of Truth be some way correspondent to the important Article Let me live only for Eternity hope for nothing but Eternity design and intend nothing as my chief end but Eternity and seek and mind nothing in comparaison with Eternity Did we believe it how would every thing in this world be look't upon as eligible or fit to be refused as it is like to be an help or an hindrance with reference to Eternity we should then indeavor to do nothing unbecomming such an Expectation Considering this world as our passage and the invisible future world as our abiding Country where we are to dwell forever what ever we meet with here wither sweet or bitter easy or troublesome pleasing or ungratefull we should not much matter but as it relates to hereafter And were I certaine I should have no longer time of Trial in order to this Eternal State then this one year which is now begun if a Messenger from God should convincingly assure of it what would I not doe to prepare for Death and secure the Intrests of Eternity with what remorse and deep Repentance should I reflect on the Follies of my past Life with what importunate cries should I beg Forgiveness how patiently should I bear Calamity for so short a time how little should I value the favors or frowns of men how circumspect to improve every Season of doing and receiving good how carefull to avoid Temptation and how resolute in resisting it Did I verily believe I had no longer time to live on Earth then this one year at most how insipid would be the offer of carnall mirth vaine pastime sensual diversions idle company c. how should I value every hour every inch of my little Time under the apprehension that Eternity is at hand O my soul shall I make no provision against the possibility of such a case is not my change as certaine as if it were this year as if it were to morrow tho I am not certaine it is so near nor certaine but it may be Let me then seek first the Kingdom of God and his Rightcousness let me fix it well and make it clear that I have secured my great Concern and am ready for a sudden summons XIV How a Good man may improve and encourage himself under the supposition of dying this Year even in the most uneasy and undesireable circumstances I May dye this year then all my cares and fears if I am Rich all my sorrows and calamities as to this world if I am Poor will die too I may dye this year then I shall have no more Enemies no more sickness and which is infinitely better I shall sin no more I must shortly dye it may be this year but there is no other way to come to a Blessed Life but by dying and my Saviour hath dyed for me and he that believs in him shall never see death he lives who was once dead yea he lives for ever more and hath promised that I shall be with him to behold his Glory He hath the Keys of Death and Hell He is the Resurrection and the Life he hath removed thes thing of Death and I need not fear a conquered Enemy If I dye this year I must quit the company of all my dearest Friends on earth but I shall goe to better Company above and if they are the friends of Christ we shall shortly meet againe and love one another in a better manner then now and never more be parted I may dye this year my Friends and Enemies may dye to Let me injoy the one as mortal dying persons that must ere long leave me or I them and not fear the other who may so soon perish and quickly be uncapable of doing me or others mischief I may dye this year let me not then think much of Temporal sufferings of any Evils which may so soon be over Oh what would condemned sinners in the other world give to be able to believe and say so of their sufferings I may dye this year and can I wonder that I am sometimes Sick and in paine and my Body out of order Am I not mortal and dwell in an house of clay which must shortly moulder into dust and is it any thing strange that such a crasy Building doth sometimes shake and need repair and threaten a dissolution 'T is a greater wonder I am any time well That such a Body compounded of so many little parts and so easily disordered by innumerable accidents should be in health is hardly less to be admired then that an Instrument of a thousand strings should be kept in Tune I thank thee o Heavenly Father for the many advantages of sickness to weaken the power of sin to humble my Pride and cure my worldliness and sensuality to reduce me from wandering to empty me of self conceit to awaken the consideration of Death and Judgment to impress the Thoughts of the vanity of this world and the Eternity of the next to assist me to mortifie the flesh to rule my Passions to exercise Patience and quicken Prayer and try my faith and love and excite my diligence to redeem Time and convince me of the worth and uncertainty of it and thereby promote my preparations for my final change The Great Apostle by dying dayly had as many victories over this world as he lived Days Oh that I might so far walk by the same Rule as every day to think of providing for my last and in health to do that which in sickness I shal wish I had done I may dye this year it may be by some tedious painful Sickness some troublesome and loathsome Disease But God hath promised his Grace shall be sufficient he will make my bed in my sickness and put under his Everlasting arms for my support and not suffer me to be tempted above what I am able he will increas my Patience and carry me thro the pangs of Death and the dark valley and when Heart and flesh fail be the strength of my Heart and my Portion for Ever I may dye this year what if it should be by an hand of violence if for Righteousness sake in defence of the Truth for a good Cause and a good Conscience and my peace be made with God and am accused for doing well or innocent of the Evill which is laid to my charge there is ground enough for encouragement and support Thousands of my Betters have met with the like whose names are precious renowned Innumerable Christians have dyed by the sentence of a Judge with more chearfullness and Joy then others or it may be then they themselvs would have done by the sentence of the Phisitian The Torture of many diseases is unspeakably more formidable as to the meer paine and for all the Rest the Righteous Lord
to which Immortality is annext and labor to be accepted with God at whose Bar I must be judged endeavoring to keep the testimony of a good conscience and then it is not much wither I pass thro good Report or Evill Report no contempt or frowns or threatnings of men need then discourage me Tho I should be trampled on by the foot of Pride while others are happy in a dream for a little while and it may be have a prossperous passage to damnation I 'le rather thank God for delivering me from their Temptations and giving me the opportunity and call to hasten my Preparations for a Better World. Let God dispose of my Condition here and Reputation too as best shall please his Sovereign will only be pleased to keep me upright and to preserve me from Everlasting shame and confusion of Face after the general Resurrection and final Judgment vouchsafe me a portion now in thine approving love and own me for Thine at last in the Great and Terrible Day of Reckoning that then I may hear the Blessed Euge and enter into my Lords Joy XVII The same Argument considered farther as dissuasive from Worldliness and Earthly mindedness and as proper to confute the vanity of long Projects and great Designs for this World. ARe the years of my Life but few and they hastening to a Period and may this be my last Let me not then greedily covet riches and abundance and wast my little time to scrape together large Provisions for many years to come when I have no assurance to see the end of this Is it becoming such a belief to toyl from day to day that I may lay up that which I must so soon leave as if I were to spend and Eternity here on earth and in the mean while neglect the one thing Necessary Am I not upon the shore of Eternity may not the next tide carry me off and shall I spend my whole Life in Diversions from the maine Busines of it have I nothing els to doe but to gather shells if they were Pearls the absurdity were still the same and pile them upon heaps till I am snatcht away past all Recovery Shall I be regardless of an Eternal State and run the hazard of being undone for ever by sollicitous care about pretended Necessaries for a long abode on Earth Much less for superfluities when I am not certaine of the possession this one year Shall I magnifie and admire what is so soon to be parted with value my self upon thes things so as to despise those that have less and envy such as have more and suffer my mind to be distempered and my passions immoderate on every change of these things Tho I know besides my own mortality that to inforce the argument there is a principle of Corruption in all these things that our very Manna here in a little while will stink and Bread which is the staff of Life moulder our richest garments wax old and rot silver and gold rust and the greatest Beauty wither and every thing that is Earthly decay and perish And shall not this teach me to sit loose from all such Things Can I imagine that in my last hour it will be easier to part with much then little or better in the day of Judgment to have a great Estate to answer for then a lesser one We read concerning the Patriarch Abraham who rightly understood the transitory nature of riches and his own mutable Condition that the only purchase he made with his riches was a Grave choosing to take possession of the land promised him rather by a mark of his parting with it then of his Possessing it Did I think oftner and more seriously o my Soul of tarrying here but a littte while I should more easily be persuaded that a little of this world were sufficient to carry me thro it I should consider more that my Heavenborn soul is made and designed for another an endless World and therefore should not so far forget his own People and Fathers house as eagerly to pursue and seek what is suited only to the Body for a little while and whereof a little with Contentment will be sufficient The same Reflexion may be usefull to contract our Thoughts to present duty that we may not perplex our minds with long designs and projects which if we dye this year will come to nothing Our great Business in this world is adapted to the little portion of Time which is allowed us Not that good Designs for the publick Benefit may not be begun by one and finisht by others or that we are not obliged prudently to provide for those who shall come after us by attempting many Things of probable Advantage to Posterity But considering the shortness and uncertainty of Life not only should the most necessary Things be first minded and not put off by prosecuting such designs as may signifie some what to others when we are dead but we should not now omit that which we may hope to compass ourselvs to begin such things whose accomplishment must depend on the Pleasure of our successors Consideration and faithfull Counsell would in this case have prevented the fruitless expence of many mens Time and Money which if otherwise imployed might have turned to good account to themselves and others And this heightens our folly that while we pursue great projects in reference to this world and dye without effecting them our preparations for Eternity are neglected and so we are suddenly cut off in the midst of our Folly and all our Thoughts perish how easily how soon may they do so the difference and distance between Death and Life being no more then that of a Candle lighted from its being blown out and if it is exposed to all winds how quickly may that Happen XVIII The consideration of the certaine near Approach of an Everlasting State amplifi'd and prest to in force an Holy Life IN this world we begin a Year and quickly come to the end of it and ere long the little number of our years and days will be expired But when death conveys us into the World of Spirits the day of Eternity shall never be closed with an Evening Of how fearfull consequence is that Death by which an Eternity must be decided What attention what seriousness what diligence what care doth the decision of so important a matter call for ETERNAL what will be the next word o my soul how much am I concerned to know it will it be Blessedness or Misery will it be Life or Death This one word is the Joy of Angels and the Horror of Devils the unspeakable Delight of blessed Saints and the confusion and Despair of condemned Sinners At the Creation of the World Time got the start of us and was five days elder then we but our Immortal Souls shall indure beyond the utmost limits of Time and last as long as the Everlasting Father of Spirits of whose duration there is no end Shall I then
to God and oh how Glorious an Hope is that to pertake of his Image and live Eternally with him and yet be sollicitous anxious and disquieted about Honor and money and a Tempora Interest and mightily concerned about the momentany gratifications of the Flesh and the Injoyments of this World Art thou a Pilgrim and Stranger here and travelling home to the Heavenly Country and yet Eager and passionate about Earthly Things Should an Heart that is set upon Heaven or may be so and ought to be so should it burn with such kitchin such common Fire and neglect the unconceivable Riches and Pleasures and Immortal Honors of the other Life and the dawnings of that Glory upon my soul by the foretasts of it in this Should I not live as seeking such things as expecting such a Glory And are careless and indifferent thoughts sleepy heartless prayers faint and weak indeavors becoming in such a case Shall I not mend my pace and double my diligence in my preparatory work When I can believingly foresee the Blessed Recompence Wayting for that Everlasting Light of the Sun of Righteousnes which no Ecclipse shall ever darken or obscure for that Eternal Glorious Day which shall never be closed with an Evening When I shall see the face of God in Christ and be like him participate more of his image rest in his love and dwell for ever in the light of his Countenance according to the Prayer and Promise of my Blessed Saviour And ought not such a prospect to sweeten the Bitterness of all our intermediate sufferings we are now oftentimes in heaviness and sorrow but Eternity will be enough for an interrupted Joy. When we shall exchange all our troubles for Everlasting Rest our prisons for perfect liberty our Poverty for the Riches of God darkness for Light discord for love deformity for beauty our weaknesses and present languishings for strength and vigor folly for wisdom disgrace for Glory sickness and paine for Eternal Ease and Health the Animal for the Angelical Life imperfection and pollution for consummate Holiness our Sighs and Tears and Sorrows and complaints for triumphant Everlasting Praise our losses affronts disapointments perplexities fears groans and Death for crowns and scepters hymns and Hallelujahs light and life and Bliss unutterable and such great things as are fit for us to hope but too Great to be now particularly understood and talk't of while we know but in part and see thro a glass darkly yea it seems as if it were not lawfull to utter'em 2 Cor. 12.4 and now they can not be exprest or fully known for Eye hath not seen or ear heard or can it enter into the Heart of man to conceive that prepared Glory XXI A devout Meditation upon the 73 Psalm 27. Whom have I in Heaven but thee and there is none upon Earth that I desire besides thee WHat is there in Heaven or in Earth o Lord but Thy Presence to be valued loved desired chosen sought or delighted in there is nothing in either world desireable without Thee nothing certainly above Thee nothing in Comparison with Thee In Thee alone I trust On Thee I depend In Thee I repose my confidence and hope From thee I expect all my felicity and Salvation What ever I can lose yet with the continuance of thy Favor which is my Life I have still Enough With that I am Rich and without it I am poor and miserable And if I want the Love of God all that Heaven and Earth can give besides will not make my Happy In Thee therefore I would terminate all my affections all my devotions There is nothing of Heaven to be had on Earth but in thy favor image and love and the reviving Sense of it And all the Heaven I expect hereafter 't is in the more full and immediate communications of these in thy blessed Presence I can desire nothing upon Earth I can injoy nothing in Heaven but Thee both here and there thou art and shalt ever be my all sufficient satisfactory Portion my Everlasting All None els can be the Portion of my soul Nothing els can fill up all its wants answer all its cravings be suited to all its capacities appease and charm all its restless motions and give complacence to all its Desires and be the proper object of all its Affections What is there els can justly claime my Love or pretend to my supreme Affection in comparison with God Thou art alone the proper center of it Thine infinite and incomparable Excellencies who art Love it self deserve my choicest Love and thy numberless mercies and Benefits challenge it as a just debt as a peice of Homage due from All and of special Gratitude also from me Oh that I could love thee above all Things who alone art worthy of all my Love O that Divine Love might be the ruling Principle within me to inspire all my Thoughts to regulate all my desires to set all the Powers of my soul on work O that it might take the full possession of my Heart and so animate and order all my Actions to please him whom my Soul Loveth If as yet I cannot say with thine Apostle Lord thou that knowest all things thou knowest that I love thee Yet I can say Lord thou knowest that I would love thee Thou hast provided for our Happiness by that first and great command of loving thee with all our hearts and souls and strength But alas how backward is my sluggish carnal Heart to this delightfull exercise tho I have so oft been told that God is Love and that he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in him O shed abroad thy love into my Soul that I may feel the vital power and influence of it and live continually in the love of God and that nothing may ever be able to separate me from it Whom have I in Heaven or Earth to Hope in but Thee I expect more from Creatures then they can or will perform but God can do for me more abundantly then I can ask or think exceed my largest thoughts outstrip my highest expectations And no man was ever disapointed who made Thee his Hope When I meet with crosses and wrongs unfaithfulness contempt hatred and persecution from men I need not wonder I was never told by God it would be otherwise here Did I look for less from Creatures and expect more from God did I reckon this World to be a state of Trial and not a place of Rest and Satisfaction my Faith and my desires would be stronger with respect to God and Heaven and temporal Calamities and disapointments less afflictive and vexatious And what is there o Lord in Heaven or in Earth my soul can desire besides Thee is there any thing desireable but as it is thine of thee and from thee and bears some impression of thine Excellence or brings some intimation of thy Love and what can I reasonably desire what that is worth desiring or having but thou
art able to be and do and give In whom or what shall I Rejoyce but in Thee o Lord shall I solace my self in transitory Goods that slip between my fingers and perish in the using or relish carnal Joys which pollute and debase the soul when I may and ought to rejoyce in Thee at all Times as the only Source of perfect Everlasting Joy. Let me then stirr up my drooping desponding unbelieving Heart to rejoyce in God who takes pleasure in the chearfull service and obedience of his children who delighteth in those who delight in him Vid. Mr. Howe of Delighting in God. Is not Delighting in God a most essential vital part of Religion should it not be my constant Frame hath not God sufficiently provided that it may be so Can I say and believe that God is the Portion of my Soul that he is my God and I hope to live with him for ever and not rejoyce or can I consider the grace of the New Covenant the matchless Love of Christ and the precious promises of the Gospel and not see reason to rejoyce yea doth my soul love God and endeavor to please him And is not the very act and exercise of holy Love mixt with unspeakable sweetness Whom is there in Heaven or in Earth or Hell that I ought to Fear but Thee who hast a negative voice in all the designs men and Devils an hook in their nostrils a bridle in their mouths to make them fullfill thy pleasure and in every thing accomplish thy Soveraign Decree Is there any Other in whom I may repose my Trust but in Thee o Lord the Rock of Ages the might of thy Power the unsearchableness of thy wisdom the Righteousness of thy Nature the stability of thy Truth the riches of thy Grace and the immutability of thy promise are a sure foundation for my soul to trust to and rely upon Thy word stands firm for ever and the Truth of thine ability and readiness to help in every Time of need endures the same thro out all Generations At all times and in all places my soul may trust in thee and find relief And they who know thy name will do so for in the Lord Jehovah is Everlasting Kindness and Strength To answer all my doubts to supply all my wants to fill all my desires May not God take it unkindly that I trust him no more And is it not a criminal unkindness that I give him not the glory of all these Excellent Attributes which are the grounds of Trust by a constant steady intire dependance on him for all that I need I have none in Heaven but Thee o Lord as the object of my Invocation and Worship Let other Christians have recourse to new Mediators and call upon other Gods I will-make mention of thy name and of thy Righteousness only And ask of thee whatsoever I need for the sake of thy Christ my only adorable Mediator Him thou hearest allway with him thou art allways well pleased I honour the holy Angells as glorious Attendants about thy throne and bless thee for them as Ministring Spirits for the good of thy Servants but I dare not invoke or worship 'em because they are Fellow Servants On the same account I honour the memory of Departed Saints but neither invoke them or pay them religious worship That Glory thou will not give unto another I have no precept in H. Scripture to direct no promise to encourage no Example to authorize the invocation of any other but Thee in whom I believe and Trust 10. Rom. 14. Having such a God in Heaven what can I need on Earth His eyes behold me his wing is over me his hand can supply me his Grace provide for me I can want nothing that is Good unless I should need somewhat which God the infinitely Blessed and Allsufficient God cannot bestow If thou art the Portion of my Soul all mine Enemies cannot make me miserable unless they can void Heaven of the presence of God hinder his care bind up his hand or obstruct his Love. But tho my Enemies cannot I fear my Sins may They alone can separate between God and my Soul. And considering the multitude and aggravations of them and thine unspotted Holiness and Justice I should have too much reason to fear and tremble yea and utterly despair if I had none in Heaven but Thee But thy word assures me that I have a Mediator there a faithfull and a compassionate High Priest Jesus Christ the Righteous whom thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins Who lives for ever in Heaven to make Intercession till he hath brought me there to behold his Glory and pertake of it That Glory o Lord thou hast reserved for Heaven in this world we only desire believe and hope to injoy it Whom have I in Heaven that is the place of Fruition What can I desire upon Earth This world is the place of Desires as the other of full Injoyment most of that which men call Injoyment in this Life consists but in desire Desire or Lust is all that is in the wicked world 1 John. 2. c. 13. the Riches of a Covetous worldling makes him desire more and the great mystery of Intemperance is to create and increase desires Desires of another kind are the portion of good men in this world O that I could breath after a state of perfect Fruition in Heaven with more importunate desires Who will give me to be in Heaven with Thee On Earth I desire nothing So one version Let me o my Soul think of Heaven as such a place or state of blessed Injoyment speak of it seek it long for it prepare for it as such And let J. Christ who is the desire of all Nations thro whom all divine communications are made to fallen Sinners be the great object of my present desires and love Let me desire nothing but as in him and for him that believing his word obeing his Law adoring his person imitating his Example trusting his promise constrained by his love pertaking of his Image filled with his grace and comforted by his Spirit my meditations of him may be sweeter and my love stronger and I may have nothing more left to desire for my self but that God who hath raised and exalted him would keep alive my faith and hope and holy desires till he hath made me meet to be with him and after having guided me by his Grace and Spirit and councells here on Earth would receive me to his most blessed and Glorious Presence in Heaven Amen Amen XXII The Glorious Appearance of Christ to Judgment considered as Certaine the Terror and Astonishment Confusion and Despair of the Wicked to behold their Judge and hear his condemning Sentence to EVERLASTING Destruction WHen our Blessed Saviour shall appear to judge the world I read that it shall be in his own Glory the Glory of his Father and of the Holy Angels If
Thank fullness shall Believers then contemplate the unskearchable Riches of his Grace in all the parts and instances of his Humiliation from his conception to his Crucifixion and Burial in all the Evidences and discoveries made of it from the first Promise to it's completion yea from before the foundation of the World in the Covenant of Peace between the Father and the son untill his second Coming to Judge the World and deliver up the Kingdom to his Father How shall we then admire and adore his Powerfull Grace which snatcht us as fire brands out of Everlasting Burnings that effectually shin'd into our minds by Heavenly Light conquer'd the opposition of our Stubborn Wills Sanctified our Carnal Hearts rescued us from the tyranny of Satan and the dominion of lust giving cherishing and preserving the holy Seed of Grace and making it Spring up to Eternal Life defeating the malicious and subtle endeavors of the Devil to destroy it inabling us to indure Tribulation and persevere to the End giving us victory over Death conducting us thro the dark valley raiising our Bodies reviving and reuniting them to our Souls and rendring them glorious like his own Body and at length raising our imperfect Services with Eternal Life yea tho our best services were mixt with sin our holyest duties spotted our most couragious sufferings mixt with unbelief yet rewarded with a Blessedness that hath no alloy of Evil but all the ingredients of a perfect Felicity and nothing to lessen and interrupt it How shall we then admire the Bounty of our Gracious Lord the freeness tenderness riches and the exceeding Greatness and Glory of his Infinite Goodness and Grace to poor Believers With what extasies of Joy and Gratitude may we imagine that our Lord will be then admired by all his Redecmed ones Saying This is He who made our peace with God and reverst the Sentence of Damnation which we were under who bought us with the price of his most precious Bloud bore the Wrath of his Father and submitted to an infamous and cursed Death for us he assumed our nature that we might pertake of his became the Son of Men that we might be made the Children of God for our sakes he became poor that we thro his Poverty might beeome Rieh stoopt to bear the greatest Ignominy and reproach to conferr honour on us was for a time forsaken of his Father that we might not be so Eternally felt the stroke of his Anger against sin that we might not perish under it Was a man of sorrows and acquainted with griefs that we might rejoyce his agonies and bloudy sweat were for our Refreshment and by his stripes we are healed he bowed his head on the Crosse that we might lift up ours in Triumph and because we had eaten of the forbidden fruit he hung on the accursed Tree 'T was for us that he suffered the frowns of Heaven the enmity of Hell the rage of Devils the hatred and persecution of the world He was judged that we might not come into Condemnation he was crucifyed that we might be glorified and he is now Come againe finally and fully to effect it O the height and depth and length and breath of the Love of Christ which passeth knowledg but calls for admiration and Everlasting Gratitude This is the Blessed Day we long'd and waited and prayed for This is our Gracious our Glorious Lord whose love melted our Hearts whose Promise was our Support whose Word was our Rule whose Spirit was our Comforter whose Crosse was our Crown and the hope of his Appearance our chief Consolation Lord what am I what was I that the ever Blessed Son of God should do and suffer and purchase all this for me I can remember when I was ignorant of God a Stranger to him at Enmity with him under the power of Darkness and the Devil serving divers lusts and Pleasures hastening to Hell and liable to his Wrath. But he chose me out of the world stampt his Image upon me pardoned my Sin and imbrac't me in the arms of his unchangeaâ—â—â— Love. O Happy Change aâ—â— yet how little did I prize his Grace admire his love and express my own or pomote his glory and honour him in the Eyes of others how did I dishonor my profession and holy Calling as his Disciple by agravated Apostacy but he recovered me by Repentance and healed my Backslidings and received me graciously because he loved me freely O admirable Grace to pardon and save and bring to Glory such an unthankfull Wretch as I have been to make such a difference between me and others whom I knew on earth that the same Power which makes them Miserable now makes me Blessed that when they are banisht from his Presence into Everlasting Destruction I am admitted to behold his Glory and shall dwell with him for ever O how much â—â—â—e do I now see and find then ever I believed of the Love of Christ and his promised Salvation how much more glorious is the Person of my Redeemer how much more Excellent is the Heavenly State then ever I thought or expected I could not have imagined the thousandth thousandth part of that which I now see and feel I cannot but admire and spend an Eternity in admiring and praising the Incomparable Grace and Glory of my Blessed Redeemer Such holy admiration will certainly produce the most thankfull Adorations of our Lord Jesus Saying one to another I Bless the Lord of Love and Glory who humbled himself so low as our Mediator and hath exalted us so high as the blessed fruit of it how can we ever enough adore and praise him who condescended so far and hath done and sufferd so much for us See how the Holy Angels worship this King of Glory and have not every one of us more reason to do so O let all the Quire of Heaven celebrate his glorious Love and let us his Redeemed his Glorified ones say continually Let the Lord be magnified who hath loved us and washed us from our sins in his own Bloud and made us Kings and Priests unto God his Father and thro him ours O Mercifull Saviour O glorious Change O Happy Society with whom we shall Eternally adore our Common Lord. We can some of us remember when we lived together on Earth how we wept and praid and fasted and mourned together when we suffered and complain'd and sin'd together O the Marvellous change our Redeemer hath now wrought for us and in us These Bodies these Souls this Life this Place this Company these Injoyments are not like those in yonder World. But alas who can describe what Believers shall then think and say to extol their Saviour how smal a portion is it we understand of that World How little can I conceive and much less express Blessed be God we know so much as the matter of our joyfull Hopes and forever Blessed be God who hath promised and provided such a Glory for us as cannot now be fully known
forgiven T is not the Vnpardonable Sin fer I desire to repent and am resolv'd to return I will still cleave to the Lord and wait upon him and follow hard after him and take no other course for Deliverance and comfort Mine is not a single Case I am not the only Soul that hath been so distress'd and yet found relief by seeking unto God. This therfore good for me to hope Lam. 3 c. 26. and quietly wait for the Salvation of God. I will draw near to God I will lay at his foot and continue in all ways of Worship and Duty wherin I may hope to meet with the quickning and comfort of his Spirit I will seek relief from no other I will keep as near him as I can wither els shall I goe he alone hath the words of Eternal Life he alone can create what is the fruit of his own lips Peace Peace I will encourage my self in the consideration of his General Grace Vid. Mr. Baxter's method for Peace of Conscience and the probabilities of his special Love I will recollect my former Experiences when I had some good hope thro Grace concerning my Adoption I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. If God will give me so much Grace as to continue waiting I will hope still and tho I walk in darkness and see little or no Light I will stay my self upon the Lord. And if by the want of sensible Consolation he will make me more humble and keep me in a greater Submission to his will I will bless his holy name and derive more comfortable hope from thence then from the most sweet and sensible Consolations I ever had and look upon Humility self denial Dependance on God Resignation to him and Hatred of sin as a better sign of his Love then the highest fervors of Affection in his service can be Oh that I had formerly done as much for Holiness as I have for Comfort by the joyment of the one I should have had more of the other the exercise of Grace would have discover'd the Truth of it Let me therfore accuse and condemn my self but still trust and love God and wait upon him Let me resolve never to choose a new Lord or Master Or take up with any Portion beneath God him self or any of Hope or Salvation but by J. Christ my only Saviour neither let me forsake the way of Faith and Holiness for all the hopes and Happiness of this world if put to my choice But be allways able to say Blessed be God I now can that I will return to my former Husband for then it was better with me then now I had peace and refreshment in my former ways I will return to them Lord forsake me not utterly keep not thine Anger for ever cast me not away from thy presence and take not thy H. Spirit from me Restore unto me the Joy of thy Salvation that my Heart may be in larged to prayse thy name and to run the way of thy Commandments XXVI Confession of Sin Humiliation and Repentante must follow upon Self-Examination Advice concerning Repentance of some particular Backsliding The great Perplexity and Distress of a Penitent Sinner represented as a Caution against returning to Folly. THat we may turn unto the Lord is the end of searching and trying our Ways Lord I have been searching my Heart and considering my ways but can find little or no good neither can I discover all that is evill in both But I find enough to make my own Heart condemn me and Thou who art greater then my Heart and knowest all things mayst much more condemn me I am altogether unclean polluted and abominable If I goe about to enumerate the Sins of my Thoughts words and actions in all the periods of my Life hitherto if I consider my omissions of Duty and dayly Crimes by actual commission if I reflect upon my Sins according to their respective objects as either against Thee o God and against my Neighbour and against my own Soul or compare my Heart and Life with thy strict and holy Law and think in how many Instances I have tansgrest every of thy Righteous Commandments I find they are more then the hairs on my head they can not be number'd who can tell how oft he hath offended many of my sins make little Impression on my Memory doe I observe them not I remember them not but this hinders not but they may make deep Impression on my Conscience which will one day be awake and set them in order before me and they are all written in thy book of Remembrance in order to my final Judgment All my sins are before thee but thou requirest my humble Confession of them in order to Repentance and as a part therof that I freely acknowledg their hainous aggravations to shame and humble my self the more before thee whom I have offended and provok't How long did I serve diverse Lusts and Pleasures with the neglect and forgetfullness of God How sad a prospect may I take of the far greatest part of my Life past especially of my younger years which have been trifl'd away in vanity and folly And since I have known the way of Truth how shamefully have I prevaricated with God I am confounded to consider how often I have despised the Commandment and rebelled against the Light against the Principles of education and the checks of Conscience frequent warnings from God and reproofs from Others contrary to my Profession and Experience contrary to the obligation of peculiar mercies solemn Promises Resolutions and Engagements and a nearer Relation to God then of many others which sins have more dishonor'd my Lord discredited his H. Gospel gratifi'd the Devil scandaliz'd the world and strengten'd the hands of the ungodly then the sins of others And alas How much of my precious Time is thus gone which if duely improv'd would now afford me comfort to review How much Guilt have I contracted every year particularly in this last I now begin another which will soon be gone as that which was concluded yesterday And shall I only advance in Age to increase the number of my sins and heigthen my Account against the Day of Reckoning In Temporal and Civil Affaires Day unto Day uttereth knowledg and Night unto Night teacheth Wisdom We are Taught by Experience many usefull lessons which we should not els have learnt to reform many Errors and mistakes to correct many rash and foolish Actions and Speeches c. And shall I not learn wisdom by the Experience of another year in what concerns my greatest my Eternal Interest shall not the reflexion on my past sins prevent my Commission of the like How many Years hath God vouchsaf't me to work out my salvation but how little have I done towards it had I dyed this last year how unprepar'd must I have made my Appearance before his Tribunal what opportunities of doing and receiving good have I let