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the_o ease_n of_o every_o joint_n and_o limb_n about_o i_o witness_v the_o same_o a_o way_n my_o unbelieving_a heart_n what_o a_o stir_n be_v here_o to_o make_v thou_o believe_v a_o thing_n so_o evident_a doubt_v my_o mind_n and_o free_o doubt_v â—_z give_v thou_o leave_v when_o thou_o have_v any_o occasion_n or_o reason_n for_o it_o but_o why_o shall_v i_o doubt_v that_o which_o be_v past_o all_o doubt_n may_v i_o not_o believe_v my_o sense_n i_o both_o see_v and_o hear_v he_o speak_v the_o word_n or_o shall_v i_o misdoubt_v his_o faithfulness_n i_o know_v he_o be_v the_o son_n of_o god_n he_o can_v lie_v but_o be_v it_o true_a yet_o my_o god_n i_o pray_v thou_o be_v not_o angry_a with_o my_o scrupulous_a heart_n thou_o see_v in_o tear_n i_o make_v the_o doubt_n let_v it_o be_v a_o argument_n to_o i_o of_o sincerity_n i_o do_v not_o ask_v that_o question_n as_o one_o that_o will_v be_v fain_o persuade_v its_o true_a can_v thou_o think_v my_o lord_n that_o i_o will_v not_o be_v reconcile_v and_o cheerful_o accept_v of_o grace_n when_o thou_o so_o free_o offere_v it_o oh_o but_o lord_n speak_v these_o word_n to_o my_o heart_n which_o thou_o have_v already_o speak_v to_o my_o ear_n and_o thou_o will_v melt_v it_o into_o love_n and_o thankfulness_n and_o i_o shall_v never_o doubt_v it_o more_o object_n but_o yet_o but_o what_o can_v heaven_n love_v so_o much_o answ_n thou_o silly_a worm_n how_o idle_o do_v thou_o question_v must_v heaven_n and_o so_o its_o love_n be_v bind_v up_o to_o so_o narrow_a and_o contract_a thought_n as_o thou_o be_v what_o can_v god_n love_v no_o more_o than_o thou_o can_v love_n be_v a_o perfection_n and_o god_n be_v infinite_o perfect_a so_o must_v be_v infinite_o and_o incomprehensive_o love_v thou_o fool_n go_v find_v the_o sea_n and_o tell_v i_o its_o great_a depth_n give_v i_o the_o height_n of_o yonder_o star_n this_o possible_o thou_o may_v do_v for_o the_o sea_n be_v not_o so_o deep_a but_o they_o have_v a_o bottom_n nor_o the_o star_n so_o high_a but_o they_o may_v by_o art_n be_v know_v but_o oh_o the_o height_n and_o depth_n and_o breadth_n and_o length_n of_o the_o love_n of_o our_o redeemer_n he_o be_v god_n and_o his_o breast_n be_v so_o full_a of_o love_n that_o they_o flow_v and_o overflow_v with_o love_n they_o have_v no_o bottom_n do_v but_o try_v my_o soul_n cast_v thyself_o into_o this_o bottomless_a lovely_a ocean_n into_o this_o endless_a bosom_n and_o when_o thou_o have_v be_v sink_v million_o of_o million_o of_o year_n tell_v i_o whither_o
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deal_n with_o i_o such_o a_o temper_n as_o this_o i_o have_v go_v to_o prayer_n and_o labour_v under_o such_o indisposition_n of_o soul_n and_o hardness_n of_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o speak_v to_o god_n all_o spark_n of_o faith_n as_o to_o the_o cast_n of_o my_o soul_n upon_o god_n seem_v to_o be_v extinct_a all_o breathe_n after_o god_n and_o christ_n seem_v to_o be_v dead_a sin_n seem_v as_o nothing_o i_o seek_v to_o lay_v they_o to_o my_o charge_n yea_o and_o according_a to_o their_o aggravation_n i_o labour_v to_o set_v hell_n as_o to_o its_o torment_n before_o i_o that_o by_o they_o i_o may_v be_v startle_v my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_o sin_n and_o its_o aggravation_n do_v as_o it_o be_v rebound_v back_o and_o conviction_n will_v not_o stick_v methinks_v hell_n and_o its_o torment_n in_o this_o case_n no_o more_o fright_v i_o than_o a_o sword_n at_o a_o blind_a man_n throat_n will_v startle_v he_o i_o seek_v indeed_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v soften_v yet_o then_o but_o in_o word_n desire_n come_v not_o kind_o from_o my_o heart_n and_o in_o such_o a_o case_n i_o leave_v pray_v this_o be_v night_n the_o next_o morning_n i_o go_v to_o duty_n again_o with_o a_o perhaps_o god_n will_v be_v gracious_a but_o find_v my_o soul_n hard_o as_o before_o and_o have_v pray_v a_o while_n and_o find_v no_o comfort_n in_o it_o i_o be_v think_v to_o break_v off_o and_o so_o i_o shall_v have_v not_o god_n prevent_v i_o by_o put_v such_o a_o argument_n into_o my_o mouth_n as_o this_o lord_n can_v thou_o that_o have_v say_v thou_o be_v a_o father_n of_o such_o tender_a bowel_n suffer_v thy_o poor_a child_n thy_o poor_a creature_n to_o plead_v thus_o with_o thou_o for_o a_o break_a heart_n and_o thou_o with_o hold_v it_o so_o stiff_o from_o he_o upon_o this_o my_o heart_n be_v exceed_o full_a and_o break_a dissolve_v even_o into_o tear_n oh_o you_o saint_n remember_v that_o god_n working_n be_v arbitrary_a xxv_o as_o he_o record_v the_o fail_n and_o comfort_n he_o have_v before_o in_o and_o after_o prayer_n so_o we_o have_v he_o note_v it_o be_v a_o good_a mean_n to_o keep_v a_o man_n soul_n up_o in_o a_o constant_a frame_n if_o he_o every_o day_n call_v his_o soul_n to_o a_o question_n how_o he_o have_v walk_v with_o god_n that_o whole_a day_n and_o those_o sin_n he_o find_v he_o have_v fall_v into_o that_o day_n let_v he_o resolve_v to_o watch_v against_o more_o strict_o the_o next_o day_n and_o beg_v strength_n against_o they_o and_o by_o do_v of_o this_o he_o shall_v quick_o find_v a_o growth_n in_o grace_n and_o victory_n over_o his_o corruption_n he_o add_v when_o thou_o be_v ever_o plead_v with_o god_n against_o sin_n remember_v that_o they_o be_v god_n enemy_n as_o well_o as_o thou_o tell_v god_n he_o hate_v sin_n and_o wickedness_n and_o these_o be_v the_o enemy_n that_o thou_o be_v conflict_v with_o and_o assure_v thyself_o god_n will_v not_o stand_v as_o a_o neuter_n but_o will_v take_v thy_o soul_n part_n as_o david_n in_o the_o five_o psalm_n and_o again_o consider_v that_o thy_o soul_n be_v as_o a_o commonwealth_n christ_n the_o king_n thy_o corruption_n the_o enemy_n now_o you_o know_v that_o the_o king_n be_v as_o much_o or_o rather_o shall_v be_v more_o engage_v against_o the_o enemy_n of_o his_o kingdom_n than_o the_o subject_n be_v because_o the_o destruction_n of_o they_o or_o their_o victory_n strike_v more_o upon_o his_o honour_n xxvi_o it_o be_v a_o hard_a thing_n to_o believe_v that_o a_o man_n prayer_n be_v hear_v except_o he_o find_v some_o warming_n in_o his_o spirit_n in_o prayer_n either_o in_o solid_a joy_n or_o a_o hearty_a mourning_n here_o these_o case_n come_v to_o be_v resolve_v viz._n see_v the_o child_n of_o god_n be_v often_o draw_v out_o in_o prayer_n at_o by_o time_n a_o poor_a soul_n begin_v to_o reflect_v upon_o his_o own_o experience_n and_o find_v no_o such_o matter_n perform_v by_o himself_o be_v apt_a to_o be_v discourage_v and_o to_o doubt_v whether_o god_n ever_o love_v he_o first_o thou_o must_v know_v though_o such_o dispensation_n be_v ordinary_a yet_o not_o necessary_a the_o spirit_n can_v work_v without_o they_o as_o doubtless_o he_o do_v in_o many_o second_o perhaps_o it_o have_v not_o be_v christ_n want_n of_o love_n to_o thou_o but_o thy_o negligence_n towards_o he_o he_o have_v knock_v and_o thou_o have_v not_o open_v oh_o this_o be_v a_o repulse_n to_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n a_o sad_a deal_n with_o thy_o jesus_n with_o a_o christ_n that_o be_v all_o a-sweat_n for_o thou_o and_o have_v his_o side_n run_v out_o water_n and_o blood_n for_o thou_o to_o let_v he_o stand_v and_o knock_v without_o and_o give_v he_o no_o lodging_n object_n yea_o but_o the_o soul_n may_v say_v i_o have_v often_o watch_v my_o heart_n and_o mark_v the_o breathe_n of_o my_o soul_n whither_o they_o tend_v godward_o or_o no_o but_o alas_o i_o be_v hard_a and_o blind_a a_o sottish_a creature_n ans_fw-fr first_o let_v such_o a_o consideration_n as_o this_o 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with_o his_o own_o promise_n in_o the_o 54th_o chapter_n of_o isaiah_n it_o be_v a_o most_o spiritual_a and_o raise_v chapter_n here_o it_o may_v be_v query_v how_o to_o know_v that_o god_n hide_v himself_o out_o of_o love_n to_o i_o this_o to_o i_o be_v a_o strong_a evidence_n that_o god_n hide_v himself_o out_o of_o love_n to_o i_o after_o some_o miscarriage_n of_o soul_n 1_o when_o god_n by_o my_o fall_n into_o a_o sin_n make_v i_o more_o cautious_a of_o that_o sin_n for_o the_o future_a 2_o god_n by_o that_o sin_n discover_v my_o base_a heart_n to_o i_o 3_o when_o god_n draw_v out_o my_o soul_n to_o beg_v earnest_o for_o strength_n of_o he_o against_o it_o but_o a_o man_n after_o he_o have_v fall_v into_o some_o sin_n may_v take_v up_o resolution_n against_o it_o and_o yet_o fall_v into_o it_o again_o it_o be_v true_a there_o be_v scarce_o a_o saint_n but_o have_v experience_v this_o very_a thing_n and_o the_o reason_n of_o it_o be_v not_o dark_a 1_n on_o god_n part_n he_o will_v make_v his_o saint_n to_o know_v that_o resolution_n nor_o prayer_n nor_o any_o duty_n else_o can_v conquer_v sin_n he_o will_v have_v they_o acknowledge_v when_o corruption_n be_v subdue_v it_o come_v from_o god_n that_o so_o they_o may_v put_v the_o crown_n of_o mortification_n upon_o his_o head_n 2_o on_o our_o part_n let_v we_o examine_v ourselves_o whether_o we_o do_v resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n if_o not_o it_o be_v no_o wonder_n if_o we_o fall_v if_o we_o say_v we_o do_v let_v we_o examine_v our_o soul_n whether_o we_o do_v apply_v ourselves_o to_o god_n
for_o thou_o and_o will_v thou_o love_v thy_o friend_n the_o worse_o because_o he_o share_v in_o sorrow_n with_o thou_o for_o thou_o can_v not_o but_o know_v that_o he_o come_v from_o heaven_n to_o take_v to_o himself_o a_o spouse_n on_o earth_n and_o if_o i_o be_v one_o that_o he_o love_v and_o grieve_v for_o to_o see_v my_o stubborn_a heart_n so_o hard_o to_o yield_v be_v this_o the_o cause_n he_o want_v beauty_n oh_o such_o a_o want_n as_o this_o be_v lovely_a and_o methinks_v my_o heart_n can_v have_v cleaved_a the_o close_a to_o he_o there_o be_v no_o beauty_n or_o comeliness_n in_o he_o and_o what_o of_o that_o my_o ugly_a and_o deform_a soul_n deserve_v more_o loathe_n my_o righteousness_n the_o comely_a part_n about_o i_o be_v but_o rag_n or_o a_o menstruous_a cloth_n if_o there_o be_v no_o more_o desirableness_n in_o he_o than_o in_o i_o oh_o have_v i_o love_v he_o then_o and_o leave_v all_o for_o he_o it_o be_v no_o wonder_n but_o that_o he_o shall_v love_v i_o i_o rather_o stand_v amaze_v there_o be_v no_o beauty_n in_o he_o it_o may_v be_v so_o but_o can_v it_o be_v otherwise_o expect_v from_o he_o who_o come_v to_o work_v in_o fire_n and_o smoke_n who_o come_v to_o quench_v the_o flame_n of_o hell_n and_o to_o satisfy_v god_n wrath_n and_o justice_n to_o pull_v out_o filthy_a soul_n from_o the_o jaw_n of_o lustful_a sensual_a flesh_n and_o blood_n it_o be_v not_o beauty_n but_o strength_n that_o be_v here_o needful_a a_o glance_n of_o a_o amorous_a eye_n will_v not_o have_v wound_v satan_n and_o make_v he_o fall_v from_o heaven_n like_o a_o flash_n of_o lightning_n a_o comely_a countenance_n can_v not_o have_v enchant_v and_o unbare_v hell-gate_n and_o make_v they_o fall_v and_o break_v before_o he_o into_o shatter_v what_o need_v a_o fair_a hand_n to_o touch_v our_o filthy_a rot_a soul_n and_o take_v they_o up_o in_o menstruous_a blood_n and_o wash_v they_o clean_o or_o what_o need_v such_o clean_a hand_n to_o clasp_v about_o the_o rusty_a iron_n gate_n wherein_o i_o and_o all_o the_o world_n lie_v bind_v in_o chain_n and_o to_o pull_v they_o down_o to_o take_v our_o canker_a bolt_n and_o knock_v they_o off_o to_o take_v we_o by_o the_o hand_n to_o help_v we_o up_o and_o lead_v we_o out_o alas_o there_o need_v no_o such_o eye_n face_n or_o hand_n for_o such_o a_o work_n it_o be_v powerful_a all-conquering_a strength_n that_o be_v here_o require_v it_o be_v a_o powerful_a victorious_a arm_n that_o here_o be_v need_v and_o such_o a_o one_o he_o have_v but_o what_o shall_v he_o do_v with_o a_o beauteous_a body_n that_o must_v be_v so_o abase_v and_o abuse_v as_o his_o be_v a_o uncomely_a face_n will_v serve_v where_o it_o must_v be_v spit_v on_o what_o must_v he_o do_v with_o a_o fair_a soft_a delicate_a tender_a hand_n which_o must_v be_v pierce_v another_o kind_n of_o hand_n be_v good_a enough_o to_o knock_v a_o nail_n into_o and_o what_o need_v his_o body_n be_v of_o a_o clear_a white_a thin_a transparent_a skin_n will_v not_o any_o serve_v that_o body_n that_o must_v be_v bruise_v and_o wound_v as_o his_o be_v nay_o as_o it_o be_v necessary_a his_o shall_v be_v but_o why_o thus_o necessary_a either_o he_o must_v be_v thus_o deal_v with_o or_o else_o my_o sin_n can_v be_v pardon_v either_o he_o must_v be_v despise_v of_o man_n or_o i_o must_v be_v of_o god_n oh_o he_o must_v drink_v up_o this_o bitter_a cup_n with_o all_o its_o dregs_o or_o else_o i_o must_v have_v drink_v it_o up_o myself_o it_o be_v i_o that_o sin_v and_o i_o must_v have_v suffer_v this_o curse_a proud_a and_o earthly_a heart_n of_o i_o rebel_v and_o break_v the_o law_n and_o shall_v have_v suffer_v and_o bear_v the_o punishment_n have_v not_o he_o step_v in_o and_o bear_v the_o stroke_n off_o from_o i_o i_o have_v be_v now_o burn_v in_o everlasting_a flame_n and_o have_v be_v linger_v out_o this_o time_n in_o torment_n which_o i_o be_o now_o spend_v in_o the_o sweet_a thought_n of_o my_o escape_n and_o be_v not_o this_o all_o true_a speak_v out_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o the_o prophet_n say_v as_o much_o sure_o say_v he_o he_o have_v bear_v our_o grief_n and_o carry_v our_o sorrow_n he_o be_v wound_v for_o our_o transgression_n he_o be_v bruise_v for_o our_o iniquity_n the_o chastisement_n of_o our_o peace_n lie_v upon_o he_o and_o by_o his_o stripe_n we_o be_v heal_v all_o we_o like_v sheep_n be_v go_v astray_o we_o be_v every_o one_o turn_v to_o his_o own_o way_n and_o the_o lord_n have_v lay_v upon_o he_o the_o iniquity_n of_o we_o all_o he_o be_v oppress_v he_o be_v afflict_v yet_o he_o open_v not_o his_o mouth_n he_o be_v bring_v as_o a_o lamb_n to_o the_o slaughter_n and_o as_o a_o sheep_n before_o the_o shearer_n be_v dumb_a so_o he_o open_v not_o his_o mouth_n he_o be_v take_v from_o prison_n and_o judgement_n and_o who_o shall_v declare_v his_o generation_n for_o he_o be_v cut_v off_o from_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n and_o for_o the_o transgression_n of_o my_o people_n be_v he_o smite_v thou_o see_v thy_o debt_n and_o thy_o saviour_n payment_n of_o it_o these_o be_v no_o fiction_n thou_o have_v just_a now_o read_v a_o sure_a word_n of_o prophecy_n that_o have_v confirm_v it_o those_o wound_n those_o stripe_n those_o bruise_n which_o thou_o read_v of_o he_o bear_v for_o thou_o and_o which_o be_v due_a to_o thou_o it_o be_v thou_o that_o shall_v have_v be_v lead_v from_o prison_n to_o judgement_n from_o prison_n to_o the_o judgment-seat_n of_o the_o great_a god_n who_o shall_v have_v sit_v as_o judge_n he_o shall_v have_v arraign_v thou_o sentence_v thou_o and_o have_v send_v thou_o to_o the_o slaughter-house_n of_o hell_n where_o thou_o shall_v have_v be_v weep_v and_o wail_v and_o gnash_v of_o thy_o tooth_n but_o oh_o amaze_a love_n and_o grace_n the_o son_n of_o god_n that_o love_v i_o better_o than_o his_o life_n step_v off_o his_o throne_n and_o take_v my_o nature_n on_o he_o and_o become_v a_o man_n like_o to_o i_o only_a sin_n except_v he_o come_v and_o bid_v i_o comfort_v my_o tremble_a heart_n he_o will_v put_v himself_o in_o my_o condition_n and_o become_v the_o prisoner_n and_o if_o my_o sin_n will_v cost_v his_o life_n he_o will_v free_o part_v with_o it_o methinks_v i_o feel_v my_o bowel_n turn_v my_o spirit_n melt_v within_o i_o be_v ever_o love_v like_a to_o his_o love_n he_o be_v a_o stranger_n to_o i_o why_o do_v he_o not_o let_v i_o die_v it_o be_v his_o father_n i_o do_v wrong_v why_o do_v he_o not_o let_v i_o suffer_v what_o if_o my_o punishment_n be_v as_o great_a as_o hell_n sure_o i_o do_v deserve_v it_o what_o if_o my_o pain_n and_o screeche_n be_v eternal_a ah_o i_o be_v a_o creature_n a_o worm_n a_o fly_n a_o nothing_o to_o he_o and_o what_o need_v he_o have_v care_v but_o he_o love_v i_o and_o can_v he_o love_v a_o prisoner_n at_o the_o bar_n i_o be_v a_o sinner_n a_o vile_a pollute_a one_o methinks_v he_o shall_v have_v loathe_v i_o but_o he_o do_v wash_v thou_o and_o make_v thou_o clean_o again_o ay_o but_o i_o be_v his_o father_n enemy_n and_o so_o no_o friend_n to_o he_o or_o will_v he_o love_v a_o enemy_n or_o do_v he_o not_o know_v so_o much_o but_o how_o can_v that_o be_v when_o he_o see_v my_o heart_n and_o the_o enmity_n that_o be_v in_o it_o yes_o he_o do_v and_o yet_o he_o love_v thou_o even_o while_o we_o be_v enemy_n he_o die_v for_o we_o but_o why_o do_v he_o love_v a_o enemy_n or_o how_o can_v he_o do_v it_o i_o know_v not_o why_o it_o be_v pass_v my_o reason_n to_o imagine_v it_o oh_o inexpressible_a love_n oh_o love_n past_a thought_n i_o can_v fathom_v thou_o with_o my_o reason_n thy_o way_n be_v unaccountable_a he_o love_v because_o he_o will_v love_v and_o though_o his_o love_n displease_v we_o yet_o it_o please_v he_o to_o love_v we_o what_o ail_v my_o heart_n i_o can_v find_v it_o stir_v what_o dead_a under_o the_o revive_a thought_n of_o thy_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o just_a now_o say_v he_o love_v thou_o though_o a_o enemy_n and_o when_o thou_o love_v not_o he_o i_o see_v the_o enmity_n be_v not_o quite_o remove_v thou_o can_v not_o love_v he_o yet_o arise_v shake_v up_o thyself_o and_o look_v about_o thou_o thou_o do_v not_o sure_o see_v thy_o mercy_n sure_o thou_o understand_v not_o what_o thou_o ought_v to_o understand_v come_v away_o oh_o come_v away_o lift_v up_o thy_o drowsy_a head_n i_o will_v make_v thou_o look_v and_o love_n while_o i_o set_v thou_o all_o on_o burn_v and_o make_v thou_o ere_o i_o leave_v thou_o confess_v thou_o love_v he_o think_v think_v oh_o my_o soul_n
thou_o friend_n how_o come_v thou_o hither_o not_o have_v on_o thy_o wedding-garment_n he_o see_v thy_o heart_n and_o see_v thou_o have_v it_o on_o oh_o he_o come_v and_o it_o be_v but_o to_o whisper_v thou_o a_o welcome_n in_o thy_o ear_n it_o be_v but_o to_o fall_v about_o thy_o neck_n and_o kiss_v thy_o beteared_a cheek_n and_o bid_v thou_o a_o kind_a welcome_n to_o thy_o bleed_a lord_n soul_n oh_o do_v i_o think_v to_o be_v thus_o much_o make_v of_o i_o think_v he_o will_v not_o have_v mind_v i_o but_o i_o do_v no_o soon_o appear_v and_o set_v my_o foot_n within_o the_o door_n but_o he_o run_v to_o meet_v i_o he_o take_v i_o in_o his_o arm_n he_o bring_v i_o hither_o and_o set_v i_o here_o be_v this_o a_o house_n or_o be_v it_o a_o palace_n be_v this_o a_o court_n for_o prince_n or_o for_o angel_n never_o do_v place_n more_o ravish_v i_o into_o amazement_n than_o this_o place_n beautiful_a be_v thy_o gate_n o_o zion_n o_o how_o pleasant_a be_v the_o habitation_n of_o the_o most_o high_a be_v it_o the_o place_n or_o the_o company_n that_o strike_v i_o into_o astonishment_n now_o i_o can_v say_v most_o feel_o say_v with_o david_n my_o delight_n be_v with_o the_o saint_n of_o the_o most_o high_a and_o the_o most_o excellent_a of_o the_o earth_n their_o poverty_n their_o disgrace_n their_o contempt_n among_o who_o they_o live_v do_v not_o puzzle_v my_o quick-eyed_a faith_n these_o be_v the_o king_n daughter_n that_o be_v all_o glorious_a within_o their_o garment_n be_v of_o needlework_n embroider_v over_o with_o pure_a gold_n finespun_a gold_n these_o o_o these_o how_o poor_a and_o mean_a soever_o they_o be_v or_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v these_o shall_v sit_v with_o christ_n to_o judge_n the_o world_n oh_o how_o my_o foul_a be_v ravish_v with_o delight_n to_o see_v and_o look_v on_o those_o with_o who_o i_o shall_v live_v for_o ever_o if_o they_o be_v so_o lovely_a now_o what_o will_v they_o be_v hereafter_o when_o our_o god_n shall_v take_v they_o and_o scour_v off_o their_o rust_n and_o wash_v their_o garment_n bright_a in_o the_o sunshine_n of_o his_o countenance_n and_o change_v those_o mortal_a and_o corruptible_a body_n into_o immortal_a and_o glorious_a one_o and_o set_v they_o upon_o throne_n about_o himself_o and_o lade_v their_o head_n with_o crown_n of_o massy_a gold_n and_o when_o i_o shall_v hear_v they_o warble_v out_o the_o everlasting_a praise_n of_o the_o lamb_n who_o body_n and_o blood_n we_o all_o sit_v down_o to_o feed_v on_o communion-plate_n never_o be_v gold_n or_o silver_n grace_v thus_o before_o to_o bring_v this_o body_n and_o this_o blood_n to_o we_o be_v more_o than_o to_o crown_n king_n or_o be_v make_v ring_n for_o star-like_a diamond_n to_o glitter_v in_o the_o bread_n welcome_o fair_a take_v and_o eat_v it_o be_v the_o sweet_a dainty_n dear_v morsel_n heaven_n can_v afford_v thou_o welcome_o my_o dear_a to_o the_o table_n of_o thy_o lord_n welcome_o a_o thousand_o time_n i_o bid_v thou_o yea_o welcome_a than_o thou_o own_o heart_n can_v wish_v take_v eat_v this_o morsel_n it_o cost_v my_o life_n it_o be_v a_o portion_n thy_o father_n send_v unto_o thou_o by_o i_o and_o bid_v i_o remember_v thou_o of_o his_o love_n to_o thou_o he_o bid_v thou_o remember_v a_o father_n love_n i_o a_o saviour_n he_o have_v a_o heart_n to_o give_v thou_o and_o so_o have_v i._o take_v this_o in_o earnest_n of_o they_o both_o in_o one_o take_v free_o if_o thou_o be_v not_o welcome_a i_o will_v have_v tell_v thou_o i_o will_v have_v ask_v thou_o for_o thy_o wedding-garment_n know_v i_o not_o thy_o heart_n or_o if_o i_o be_v uncertain_a of_o thy_o love_n i_o will_v have_v scorn_v thou_o as_o unworthy_a of_o my_o presence_n do_v i_o know_v thou_o love_v any_o thing_n above_o i_o i_o will_v have_v hide_v my_o face_n and_o never_o have_v speak_v thou_o a_o welcome_a so_o feel_o and_o kind_o to_o thy_o soul_n tell_v i_o o_o tell_v i_o do_v thou_o not_o love_v i_o i_o know_v thou_o do_v and_o above_o father_n or_o mother_n wife_n or_o child_n land_n or_o live_v or_o credit_n i_o know_v thou_o do_v and_o will_v thou_o not_o take_v the_o cross_n and_o follow_v i_o i_o know_v thou_o will_v i_o see_v and_o know_v the_o labour_n of_o thy_o love_n i_o remember_v the_o pain_n and_o travel_n of_o thy_o soul_n i_o see_v thou_o follow_v i_o on_o thy_o knee_n in_o tear_n and_o beg_v my_o life_n rather_o than_o thy_o life_n i_o know_v thy_o heart_n i_o see_v it_o bleed_v before_o my_o throne_n i_o take_v it_o in_o my_o arm_n and_o bind_v it_o up_o and_o in_o that_o breast_n i_o remember_v i_o put_v it_o up_o again_o i_o see_v thou_o when_o no_o eye_n see_v thou_o i_o hear_v thou_o and_o have_v compassion_n on_o thy_o groan_n whilst_o thou_o be_v complain_v that_o i_o have_v shut_v out_o thy_o prayer_n i_o well_o remember_v since_o thy_o heart_n do_v first_o fall_v sick_a with_o love_n since_o the_o time_n thy_o flesh_n begin_v to_o die_v and_o since_o thou_o lay_v thyself_o in_o the_o grave_n down_o by_o 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will_v have_v thy_o heart_n to_o mend_v thy_o wound_n to_o cure_v thy_o spirit_n to_o revive_v thy_o fear_n to_o scatter_v thy_o soul_n to_o love_n and_o obey_v i_o take_v o_o take_v this_o cup_n into_o thy_o hand_n taste_v it_o and_o praise_v my_o love_n soul_n lord_n i_o have_v take_v i_o have_v drink_v as_o thou_o have_v bid_v i_o i_o neither_o can_v or_o dare_v deny_v thou_o can_v i_o refuse_v thy_o blood_n when_o i_o have_v accept_v thyself_o or_o can_v i_o accept_v my_o pardon_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o
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they_o daily_o pray_v for_o but_o because_o they_o have_v they_o not_o so_o give_v in_o as_o they_o use_v to_o be_v they_o wonder_v alas_o they_o little_o conceive_v that_o there_o be_v some_o lust_n some_o corruption_n that_o they_o cherish_v in_o their_o bosom_n which_o supply_v the_o room_n of_o grace_n and_o comfort_n and_o therefore_o note_n god_n do_v or_o will_v do_v thou_o a_o great_a kindness_n to_o subdue_v thy_o corruption_n than_o in_o give_v thou_o in_o the_o comfort_n thou_o pray_v for_o ix_o as_o to_o carnal_a love_n mark_v whether_o thy_o love_n to_o other_o saint_n come_v from_o discovery_n of_o grace_n in_o they_o or_o from_o the_o sweetness_n of_o their_o disposition_n for_o the_o carriage_n and_o sweetness_n of_o their_o natural_a temper_n be_v excellent_a and_o be_v sure_a the_o more_o love_n do_v arise_v from_o the_o sweetness_n of_o their_o natural_a disposition_n the_o more_o that_o love_n be_v carnal_a because_o such_o be_v common_a to_o any_o carnal_a man_n 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god_n have_v not_o mix_v a_o discovery_n of_o love_n with_o majesty_n i_o can_v not_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o sight_n of_o his_o glory_n therefore_o it_o be_v the_o best_a way_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n to_o beg_v earnest_o for_o a_o discovery_n of_o love_n and_o majesty_n leave_v it_o to_o the_o wise_a god_n who_o know_v how_o to_o compound_v these_o together_o for_o the_o comfort_n and_o establishment_n of_o his_o saint_n to_o measure_v out_o the_o degree_n of_o they_o oh_o i_o can_v i_o can_v but_o admire_v the_o greatness_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o the_o poorness_n and_o meanness_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o i_o can_v set_v my_o seal_n to_o that_o truth_n that_o they_o know_v not_o what_o to_o ask_v aright_o xi_o that_o afternoon_n go_v to_o a_o friend_n with_o who_o we_o meet_v some_o other_o who_o discourse_v of_o the_o aspersion_n which_o carnal_a man_n cast_v upon_o our_o meeting_n call_v we_o blockhead_n sot_n despiser_n of_o learning_n my_o 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you_o shall_v observe_v that_o your_o high_a christian_n they_o can_v live_v cheery_o and_o yet_o enjoy_v abundant_o more_o of_o god_n than_o a_o doubt_a christian_n be_v careful_a therefore_o of_o be_v too_o solicitous_a for_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n fourteen_o there_o be_v another_o miscarriage_n in_o saint_n which_o keep_v they_o from_o a_o full_a close_n with_o christ_n and_o that_o be_v the_o multitude_n of_o their_o sin_n if_o think_v they_o my_o sin_n bid_v be_v but_o petty_a sin_n i_o can_v have_v go_v to_o christ_n but_o they_o be_v aggravate_v sin_n against_o love_n i_o have_v have_v hard_a thought_n of_o god_n blasphemous_a rise_n of_o heart_n against_o god_n such_o have_v o._n who_o after_o this_o manner_n reason_v i_o answer_v that_o thou_o look_v upon_o god_n pardon_v of_o sin_n with_o too_o carnal_a a_o eye_n and_o think_v that_o in_o this_o he_o be_v like_a to_o man_n that_o because_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o man_n who_o be_v unwilling_a to_o put_v up_o the_o three_o 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redemption_n stand_v as_o firm_o as_o himself_o and_o so_o unmovable_a whereupon_o my_o state_n be_v firm_a by_o virtue_n of_o that_o covenant_n now_o this_o consideration_n be_v very_o rational_a for_o if_o god_n make_v his_o covenant_n immediate_o with_o we_o every_o time_n we_o shall_v sin_v god_n must_v renew_v his_o covenant_n for_o we_o shall_v lack_v still_o a_o new_a mediator_n but_o say_v god_n i_o have_v make_v a_o everlasting_a covenant_n with_o you_o which_o be_v upon_o the_o consideration_n of_o a_o ever-standing_a christ_n xv._o if_o you_o will_v know_v whether_o there_o be_v security_n mix_v with_o your_o faith_n and_o your_o dependence_n upon_o god_n as_o for_o the_o welfare_n of_o your_o soul_n it_o will_v be_v a_o good_a way_n to_o put_v this_o question_n to_o the_o soul_n whether_o it_o can_v trust_v god_n with_o its_o body_n in_o case_n of_o exigency_n suppose_v thou_o do_v want_v outward_a sustinence_n suppose_v god_n shall_v call_v thou_o out_o to_o lay_v thy_o body_n at_o the_o stake_n for_o he_o for_o this_o be_v very_o common_a to_o saint_n they_o can_v find_v in_o themselves_o that_o they_o do_v full_o resign_v up_o their_o soul_n to_o god_n yet_o in_o the_o proposal_n of_o such_o case_n they_o will_v find_v their_o faith_n begin_v to_o stagger_v wherefore_o if_o thou_o find_v thyself_o in_o this_o case_n to_o doubt_v trust_v god_n and_o assure_v thyself_o that_o he_o who_o have_v draw_v out_o thy_o soul_n in_o dependence_n as_o for_o the_o one_o will_v also_o do_v it_o for_o the_o other_o see_v as_o to_o this_o case_n psal_n 78._o and_o compare_v the_o condition_n of_o the_o israelite_n to_o thou_o and_o see_v whether_o thou_o can_v have_v believe_v god_n in_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o do_v not_o xvi_o sometime_o saint_n be_v still_o and_o quiet_a as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o corruption_n as_o passion_n viz._n anger_n etc._n etc._n and_o think_v it_o be_v mortify_v because_o it_o be_v still_o upon_o apply_v of_o the_o soul_n to_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n yet_o if_o so_o be_v that_o particular_a corruption_n do_v afterward_o rise_v again_o they_o be_v apt_a to_o conclude_v that_o sin_n be_v not_o mortify_v answ_n yet_o first_o we_o may_v conclude_v that_o mortification_n and_o the_o rise_n of_o corruption_n be_v not_o whole_o inconsistent_a but_o may_v be_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n in_o different_a degree_n for_o this_o be_v certain_a that_o corruption_n can_v be_v total_o subdue_v in_o this_o life_n if_o thou_o say_v why_o may_v they_o not_o be_v total_o mortify_v as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o for_o a_o time_n for_o i_o remember_v they_o be_v still_o as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o they_o
faith_n neither_o of_o these_o place_n mention_v i_o answer_v that_o we_o have_v no_o reason_n in_o the_o world_n to_o say_v that_o god_n will_v hear_v any_o prayer_n so_o as_o to_o answer_v it_o except_o it_o have_v be_v put_v up_o in_o faith_n and_o the_o reason_n be_v clear_a which_o be_v this_o because_o we_o can_v receive_v no_o mercy_n but_o through_o christ_n and_o can_v have_v no_o interest_n in_o christ_n except_o we_o believe_v and_o so_o can_v receive_v nothing_o from_o god_n but_o through_o faith_n mediate_a therefore_o because_o they_o do_v receive_v a_o mercy_n to_o wit_n the_o return_n of_o prayer_n from_o god_n we_o must_v conclude_v that_o they_o do_v believe_v xxx_o i_o have_v oftentimes_o be_v exceed_o raise_v in_o spirit_n and_o on_o a_o sudden_a cast_v down_o again_o in_o a_o instant_n as_o i_o may_v so_o say_v and_o have_v be_v as_o far_o to_o seek_v for_o comfort_n as_o ever_o now_o upon_o enquiry_n into_o the_o cause_n of_o this_o i_o have_v find_v they_o to_o be_v of_o this_o kind_n first_o god_n do_v let_v i_o fall_v because_o i_o look_v too_o much_o upon_o my_o inraisement_n as_o to_o the_o establish_n of_o my_o soul_n whereas_o i_o shall_v have_v live_v above_o they_o and_o shall_v have_v cast_v my_o soul_n immediate_o upon_o christ_n second_o god_n may_v cast-down_a upon_o the_o questioning_n in_o the_o soul_n concern_v the_o reality_n of_o those_o inraisement_n and_o god_n may_v do_v it_o upon_o this_o account_n because_o a_o doubt_a soul_n mistrust_v the_o reality_n of_o god_n mercy_n and_o not_o know_v whether_o they_o come_v from_o god_n or_o his_o own_o natural_a strength_n the_o soul_n know_v not_o on_o who_o head_n he_o shall_v put_v the_o crown_n and_o because_o god_n will_v advance_v himself_o in_o all_o gospel-design_n he_o let_v thy_o soul_n fall_v that_o it_o may_v know_v that_o all_o its_o raisement_n be_v from_o god_n and_o here_o god_n show_v abundance_n of_o love_n to_o the_o soul_n and_o make_v it_o more_o firm_a in_o its_o joy_n the_o next_o time_n and_o for_o direction_n in_o such_o a_o case_n when_o a_o soul_n be_v at_o a_o loss_n for_o the_o discovery_n of_o god_n it_o will_v be_v its_o best_a way_n to_o wait_v patient_o upon_o god_n and_o in_o a_o humble_a acknowledgement_n of_o his_o own_o unworthiness_n that_o he_o deserve_v ever_o to_o be_v low_a and_o if_o at_o any_o time_n he_o be_v raise_v it_o be_v from_o god_n free_a grace_n and_o if_o thou_o have_v find_v god_n in_o former_a time_n come_v into_o thy_o soul_n after_o such_o a_o sudden_a dejection_n let_v that_o experience_n of_o god_n love_v be_v a_o stay_n to_o thy_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n and_o then_o conclude_v that_o god_n anger_n last_v but_o for_o a_o moment_n object_n ay_o but_o say_v such_o a_o soul_n i_o can_v make_v indeed_o my_o former_a experience_n of_o god_n love_v a_o ground_n of_o my_o faith_n now_o if_o i_o be_v but_o certain_a that_o they_o be_v then_o real_a but_o i_o be_o afraid_a they_o be_v but_o flash_n and_o i_o ground_n it_o upon_o this_o that_o i_o see_v my_o heart_n as_o wicked_a as_o ever_o as_o much_o pride_n as_o much_o deadness_n to_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n as_o much_o carnalness_n as_o ever_o in_o a_o word_n i_o find_v not_o through_o mortification_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o answer_v 1_o that_o thou_o be_v in_o a_o state_n of_o temptation_n and_o of_o carnal_a reason_a art_n no_o competent_a judge_n of_o thy_o mortification_n for_o it_o be_v 〈◊〉_d such_o a_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n as_o with_o a_o man_n in_o a_o passion_n while_o he_o be_v in_o such_o a_o case_n he_o can_v judge_v of_o nothing_o aright_o for_o his_o reason_n be_v cloud_v with_o his_o passion_n but_o 2_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o corruption_n may_v be_v in_o the_o soul_n and_o yet_o grace_v too_o although_o as_o a_o spark_n it_o be_v cover_v with_o dead_a ember_n therefore_o i_o advise_v thou_o to_o wait_v patient_o upon_o god_n till_o the_o spark_n flame_n till_o the_o day_n star_n arise_v in_o thy_o heart_n 2_o pet._n 1.19_o and_o there_o it_o be_v very_o remarkable_a that_o the_o apostle_n compare_v grace_n to_o a_o immortal_a seed_n which_o god_n put_v in_o the_o heart_n now_o a_o seed_n you_o know_v may_v lie_v a_o long_a time_n under_o clod_n before_o it_o appear_v wait_v then_o patient_o upon_o god_n until_o the_o sun_n of_o righteousness_n arise_v in_o thy_o soul_n and_o make_v this_o seed_n to_o sprout_v up_o to_o bud_v forth_o blossom_n and_o bring_v forth_o fruit_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n xxxi_o object_n it_o be_v true_a indeed_o wait_v patient_o upon_o god_n i_o will_v and_o live_v in_o expectation_n of_o a_o return_n to_o my_o soul_n again_o but_o by_o reason_n of_o my_o treacherous_a deal_n with_o he_o after_o receipt_n of_o mercy_n discovery_n of_o love_n i_o have_v sin_v and_o be_o afraid_a that_o for_o this_o god_n will_v write_v bitter_a thing_n against_o i_o answ_n let_v not_o sin_n discourage_v thou_o in_o thy_o faith_n but_o be_v sure_o withal_o to_o keep_v a_o watch_n over_o thy_o heart_n and_o join_v prayer_n to_o this_o watch_n that_o thy_o sin_n may_v be_v mortify_v object_n ay_o but_o say_v the_o soul_n all_o that_o i_o have_v do_v as_o to_o the_o conquest_n of_o my_o corruption_n have_v be_v by_o prayer_n and_o this_o prayer_n too_o slight_o perform_v neither_o have_v it_o be_v accompany_v with_o diligent_a endeavour_n for_o alas_o i_o can_v remember_v such_o a_o temper_n that_o i_o have_v go_v it_o may_v be_v ten_o time_n or_o more_o to_o prayer_n at_o morning_n and_o evening_n against_o some_o one_o sin_n and_o yet_o after_o every_o one_o of_o those_o prayer_n i_o have_v rush_v into_o that_o particular_a sin_n can_v god_n be_v gracious_a to_o i_o ans_fw-fr it_o be_v true_a thou_o have_v a_o most_o wicked_a heart_n but_o i_o will_v that_o thou_o will_v but_o make_v use_n of_o a_o parable_n which_o our_o saviour_n put_v forth_o what_o king_n say_v he_o will_v go_v to_o war_n before_o he_o have_v sit_v down_o to_o consider_v what_o the_o war_n will_v cost_v he_o and_o shall_v we_o think_v that_o the_o alwise_a god_n who_o foresee_v all_o the_o thought_n of_o man_n heart_n all_o his_o pride_n etc._n etc._n know_v full_a well_o what_o a_o heart_n he_o have_v to_o deal_v with_o before_o he_o send_v christ_n into_o the_o world_n to_o die_v for_o sinner_n can_v be_v put_v by_o his_o work_n sure_o if_o it_o can_v but_o have_v keep_v god_n from_o show_v and_o discover_v himself_o to_o the_o soul_n he_o have_v never_o prosecute_v that_o gospel-design_n and_o now_o he_o be_v resolve_v to_o carry_v the_o soul_n through_o all_o opposition_n neither_o pride_n nor_o carnalness_n shall_v hinder_v he_o in_o it_o we_o be_v therefore_o say_v to_o be_v keep_v by_o the_o power_n of_o god_n unto_o salvation_n true_o this_o very_a thing_n speak_v abundance_n of_o comfort_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o establish_v i_o exceed_o when_o i_o be_v once_o pore_v on_o my_o manifold_a corruption_n xxxii_o god_n in_o his_o deal_n with_o his_o saint_n sometime_o leave_v they_o to_o carnal_a reason_n whereby_o they_o do_v in_o some_o sort_n reason_n themselves_o out_o of_o grace_n and_o in_o this_o case_n satan_n be_v very_o busy_a and_o if_o such_o a_o soul_n shall_v say_v unto_o i_o what_o shall_v i_o do_v in_o such_o a_o case_n ans_fw-fr first_o beware_v of_o enter_v the_o list_n with_o satan_n if_o you_o do_v it_o be_v a_o thousand_o to_o one_o but_o you_o be_v foil_v or_o at_o least_o cast_v into_o abundance_n of_o trouble_n and_o disquietment_n of_o soul_n as_o i_o have_v know_v one_o to_o wit_n o._n who_o have_v for_o that_o time_n be_v unfit_a either_o for_o the_o service_n of_o god_n or_o man_n he_o can_v not_o follow_v his_o private_a call_n for_o it_o indeed_o it_o be_v exceed_o dangerous_a for_o if_o you_o give_v way_n to_o one_o carnal_a reason_v you_o shall_v present_o have_v it_o back_v with_o a_o hundred_o more_o as_o for_o instance_n in_o call_v into_o question_n the_o reality_n of_o thy_o grace_n thou_o may_v have_v most_o hard_a and_o strange_a thought_n of_o god_n second_o pray_v to_o christ_n that_o he_o will_v answer_v thy_o objection_n for_o thou_o and_o true_o this_o be_v the_o ready_a way_n to_o get_v rid_v of_o they_o in_o get_v christ_n to_o rebuke_v they_o and_o let_v every_o awaken_v saint_n that_o be_v not_o trouble_v with_o such_o reason_n know_v that_o it_o be_v because_o christ_n do_v answer_v they_o to_o the_o devil_n and_o establish_v the_o soul_n in_o his_o answer_n or_o else_o he_o may_v assure_v himself_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o have_v be_v free_v from_o they_o o_o saint_n admire_v the_o love_n of_o christ_n to_o
you_o in_o this_o case_n and_o mark_v his_o deal_n with_o you_o herein_o that_o you_o may_v admire_v he_o when_o a_o man_n begin_v first_o to_o set_v his_o face_n zion-ward_n yea_o and_o afterward_o when_o he_o have_v make_v some_o progress_n in_o those_o way_n the_o devil_n do_v exceed_o labour_v with_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o afflight_v â—im_a from_o the_o way_n of_o holiness_n in_o suggest_v that_o his_o former_a company_n will_v despise_v he_o and_o in_o these_o new_a way_n there_o must_v be_v more_o strictness_n of_o life_n more_o tentation_n and_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n which_o kind_n of_o argument_n will_v be_v apt_a to_o stagger_v such_o a_o soul_n very_o much_o because_o as_o yet_o they_o be_v but_o weak_a and_o have_v not_o such_o powerful_a principle_n infuse_v into_o they_o as_o may_v make_v they_o strong_a enough_o to_o find_v the_o yoke_n of_o christ_n easy_a therefore_o it_o will_v be_v the_o best_a way_n for_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o resolve_v still_o to_o go_v on_o and_o assure_v himself_o that_o there_o be_v more_o joy_n to_o be_v find_v in_o god_n than_o in_o all_o his_o former_a course_n and_o withal_o pray_v earnest_o for_o the_o strengthen_n of_o inward_a principle_n in_o his_o soul_n and_o more_o spiritual_o in_o his_o heart_n to_o carry_v he_o through_o the_o strait_a gate_n with_o ease_n xxxiii_o this_o may_v be_v the_o temper_n of_o some_o soul_n that_o have_v have_v some_o assurance_n of_o their_o good_a estate_n that_o if_o afterward_o some_o sin_n be_v set_v home_o upon_o their_o soul_n they_o be_v exceed_o loath_a to_o dive_v into_o their_o own_o heart_n which_o be_v accompany_v with_o this_o slavish_a fear_n lest_o they_o shall_v find_v all_o their_o former_a hope_n to_o be_v mere_a flash_n and_o that_o they_o have_v be_v in_o a_o carnal_o secure_a state_n even_o until_o now_o some_o have_v dive_v into_o their_o heart_n at_o such_o a_o time_n and_o god_n have_v show_v they_o some_o hypocrisy_n or_o selfishness_n in_o their_o former_a walking_n whence_o they_o have_v conclude_v that_o if_o god_n have_v let_v they_o die_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n they_o have_v be_v damn_v and_o so_o after_o this_o discovery_n if_o they_o have_v have_v a_o clear_a discovery_n of_o the_o baseness_n of_o their_o heart_n they_o have_v conclude_v the_o like_a of_o that_o estate_n by_o this_o kind_n of_o reason_v there_o be_v these_o disadvantage_n happen_v to_o such_o a_o soul_n first_o he_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n make_v god_n former_a deal_n with_o he_o subordinate_a to_o the_o innervate_n of_o his_o present_a condition_n and_o without_o a_o special_a work_n of_o the_o divine_a spirit_n a_o man_n shall_v not_o gather_v any_o ground_n for_o his_o present_a condition_n second_o by_o this_o he_o lose_v a_o praise_a spirit_n and_o he_o also_o deal_v disingenuous_o with_o god_n in_o not_o own_v all_o his_o gracious_a dispensation_n to_o the_o soul_n the_o direction_n that_o i_o will_v give_v such_o a_o one_o shall_v be_v this_o 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among_o they_o kick_v they_o down_o and_o say_v have_v england_n lose_v so_o much_o blood_n for_o such_o sin_n and_o will_v you_o take_v no_o warning_n and_o this_o i_o utter_v very_o affectionate_o such_o dream_n as_o these_o like_v i_o well_o and_o from_o thence_o i_o often_o gather_v the_o frame_n of_o my_o spirit_n on_o a_o sabbath_n sometime_o after_o this_o he_o record_v i_o be_v not_o in_o the_o day_n in_o so_o spiritual_a a_o frame_n as_o i_o desire_v my_o thought_n my_o heart_n know_v little_a of_o god_n which_o i_o be_v desirous_a to_o have_v be_v my_o trouble_n but_o towards_o the_o evening_n read_v gal._n 4.9_o but_o now_o that_o you_o have_v know_v god_n or_o rather_o be_v know_v of_o god_n etc._n etc._n how_o kind_o do_v that_o place_n work_n on_o i_o as_o eyesalve_n to_o my_o faith_n as_o fire_n to_o my_o love_n the_o word_n be_v this_o or_o rather_o be_v know_v of_o god_n it_o seem_v that_o be_v the_o precious_a word_n which_o do_v rest_n so_o sweet_o upon_o the_o heart_n and_o so_o deep_o affect_v this_o choice_a servant_n of_o the_o lord_n on_o the_o lordsday_n when_o he_o use_v to_o have_v his_o heart_n great_o raise_v in_o sing_v of_o psalm_n in_o his_o family_n and_o will_v say_v to_o his_o wife_n and_o relative_n do_v not_o you_o find_v a_o sweetness_n in_o this_o day_n oh_o certain_o it_o be_v the_o sweet_a day_n in_o all_o the_o week_n li._n in_o all_o his_o relation_n he_o be_v a_o man_n great_o belove_v and_o singular_o useful_a by_o prayer_n counsel_n and_o various_a other_o way_n of_o do_v they_o good_a we_o have_v he_o on_o feb._n 25._o 1652._o record_v a_o experiment_n which_o his_o relative_n have_v to_o his_o dying-day_n a_o abundant_a proof_n of_o his_o own_o word_n be_v at_o morning_n my_o heart_n be_v melt_v and_o so_o at_o evening_n in_o a_o special_a manner_n ch_n how_o evident_o god_n make_v out_o my_o faith_n to_o i_o both_o for_o myself_o and_o other_o especial_o for_o our_o family_n and_o my_o other_o christian_a friend_n and_o the_o church_n in_o general_n for_o bring_v peace_n to_o she_o very_o of_o a_o truth_n the_o spirit_n help_v i_o in_o that_o prayer_n i_o be_v much_o break_v in_o heart_n and_o have_v a_o deep_a sense_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n a_o little_a after_o he_o add_v i_o be_v much_o in_o melt_a humility_n let_v it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o evidence_n of_o thy_o saintship_n for_o i_o never_o see_v humility_n more_o apparent_a before_o oh_o praise_n thou_o god_n and_o never_o cease_v one_o of_o his_o near_a relative_n remember_v he_o will_v often_o say_v in_o self_n abasement_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a i_o can_v do_v as_o much_o work_n for_o god_n as_o any_o man_n do_v upon_o earth_n i_o will_v not_o care_v whether_o it_o be_v know_v there_o be_v such_o a_o man_n as_o i_o be_o in_o the_o world_n so_o little_a regard_n have_v he_o to_o the_o applause_n of_o man_n in_o what_o he_o do_v and_o so_o little_a regard_n have_v he_o to_o the_o reward_n of_o man_n that_o when_o some_o 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of_o his_o father_n but_o march_v 25._o 1672_o he_o follow_v his_o mother_n upon_o the_o loss_n of_o he_o than_o his_o only_a child_n who_o he_o great_o affect_v his_o mournful_a but_o religious_a father_n set_v a_o fair_a copy_n to_o other_o of_o much_o christian_a patience_n and_o submission_n to_o they_o will_v of_o god_n he_o have_v stay_v three_o year_n a_o widower_n from_o the_o death_n of_o his_o second_o and_o then_o decemb_v 14._o 1670_o take_v to_o his_o three_o wife_n with_o the_o good_a like_n of_o her_o parent_n anna_n sole_a daughter_n to_o colonel_n henry_n markham_n one_o of_o a_o ancient_a family_n and_o a_o gentleman_n of_o his_o majesty_n privy_a chamber_n by_o who_o he_o have_v first_o anna_n than_o hester_n afterward_o thomas_n and_o last_o nathaniel_n all_o these_o four_o he_o leave_v alive_a but_o this_o last_o son_n when_o he_o be_v about_o a_o year_n and_o a_o half_a old_a depart_v this_o life_n to_o go_v and_o rest_n with_o his_o father_n go_v about_o a_o 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your_o call_n my_o heart_n have_v now_o something_o else_o to_o do_v adieu_o my_o friend_n farewell_n my_o husband_n wife_n and_o child_n i_o must_v go_v see_v my_o bleed_a lord_n that_o be_v dear_a to_o i_o than_o you_o all_o come_v now_o my_o soul_n thou_o be_v alone_o thou_o know_v the_o way_n make_v haste_n and_o speed_n look_v yonder_o see_v how_o the_o people_n flock_n cross_v but_o this_o vale_n and_o climb_v but_o up_o this_o mount_n thou_o will_v soon_o arrive_v at_o bloody_a golgotha_n where_o thou_o shall_v see_v thy_o bleed_a and_o die_a saviour_n to_o sigh_v and_o linger_v out_o a_o die_a life_n on_o the_o cross_n in_o love_n for_o thou_o this_o this_o might_n oh_o my_o soul_n have_v be_v thy_o day_n and_o thou_o may_v have_v be_v the_o prisoner_n this_o i_o say_v may_v have_v be_v the_o day_n in_o which_o thou_o may_v have_v drink_v the_o bitter_a cup_n of_o the_o fierce_a anger_n of_o god_n but_o look_v yonder_o there_o he_o go_v that_o must_v drink_v up_o the_o dregs_o and_o all_o for_o thou_o look_v again_o there_o he_o go_v that_o must_v lay_v down_o his_o life_n that_o thou_o may_v be_v reprieve_v but_o come_v my_o soul_n draw_v up_o a_o little_a near_o thou_o can_v not_o see_v he_o well_o at_o so_o great_a a_o distance_n stand_v here_o and_o thou_o will_v see_v he_o pass_o look_v there_o he_o go_v with_o a_o train_n of_o virgin_n follow_v but_o see_v how_o cruel_o these_o barbarous_a jew_n do_v use_v he_o they_o make_v he_o bear_v his_o cross_n himself_o and_o press_v his_o weary_a faint_a limb_n above_o his_o strength_n see_v how_o they_o laugh_v and_o scoff_n and_o wag_v their_o head_n as_o if_o he_o be_v their_o may-game_n methinks_v my_o heart_n boil_v up_o with_o rage_n to_o see_v these_o cruelty_n revenge_v oh_o how_o can_v the_o bless_a god_n forbear_v to_o see_v his_o bless_a son_n thus_o wrong_v why_o do_v he_o not_o send_v twelve_o legion_n of_o angel_n for_o his_o rescue_n why_o do_v he_o not_o send_v down_o fire_n from_o heaven_n 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mourner_n i_o see_v my_o lord_n look_v towards_o they_o and_o kind_o chide_v their_o love_a sorrow_n why_o weep_v you_o oh_o you_o daughter_n of_o jerusalem_n weep_v not_o for_o i_o my_o lord_n what_o need_n be_v there_o for_o that_o question_n shall_v not_o they_o weep_v when_o thou_o must_v bleed_v will_v not_o their_o eye_n have_v be_v flint_n if_o that_o then_o they_o shall_v not_o drop_v tear_n for_o thou_o when_o as_o thou_o be_v about_o to_o pour_v out_o thy_o life_n and_o blood_n for_o they_o ah_o can_v they_o choose_v or_o do_v less_o than_o weep_v to_o see_v thy_o innocent_a self_n among_o a_o herd_n of_o tiger_n what_o shall_v
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