obey He having finisht his discourse up starts The Optative who wisht that all their hearts Had been as his then th 'had not fought that day For he and 's Foreman utinam ran away And though the Imperative had the greatest command Yet he of Tenses had five to one at hand More than t'other and was no good House-holder As being so great a wisher and a woulder For all good Prayers he did never want As I would God I pray God and God grant And that there might be no more hatred he 'd say Vtinam amem God grant I love alway Which is the onely way to keep 's in peace And having so spoke his Speech did cease The Potential then stood up and to 'em said Next to the Imperative he 'd be obey'd For though he had indeed the chief command Yet he was more mighty both in Goods and Land As may be seen by the Signes at his door When others have but one yet he has six more As may can might could would should or ought Which unto this Potency has him brought And cou'd say amem I may or can love Or let it alone for he wou'd still move In his own Sphere and never wou'd quarrel But relieve the needy and those that are ill Saying I may or do what I please herein But 't is best not fight but sleep in a whole skin The Subjunctive then began to tell his Tale But when he striv'd to do 't alone wou'd fail But must be forc'd to take a Conjunction To joyn with him or not use his Function For the Subjunctive if the truth were known Is but the Adjectives Bastard for alone They can't stand in Reason or Signification But must have a word joyn'd to keep the sence warm And stick like a Gizzard still under each arm The Subjunctive then at last did declare He wou'd be subject to any thing else but War The Infinitive then to end the Debate Said Of all the Verbs he did participate And also he cou'd do suffer or be What he pleas'd within 's own Seigniorie And was inferiour unto none Of the Moods but of himself cou'd stand alone For I can force amare to love my Daughter And amaturum esse to love hereafter And amandum and amatum to love also And amatu to be belov'd whe'r he will or no. And likewise can command docturum esse To teach hereafter my Daugher Besse Nay I cou'd shew you an Infinite more But for brevities sake I now give ore And do infinitely desire there may be No more of fighting if you 'll be rul'd by me Of the TENSES THe Tenses they being Servants to the Moods They call'd 'em to account about those Feuds The Present Tense did first himself present And truth to say he did those times lament He presently then told them all That they Cou'd never think him guilty of that Fray For he vow'd Had he been present when 't was done He wou'd have been the first that shou'd a run For who knows better to get out of Bands When Times and Seasons are all in our hands The Preterimperfect Tense did then appear But was imperfect in 's relation there For though his time was not perfectly past He confest that with amabam he did love at last But loving not then they told him 't was a fault And was the cause that all that trouble was wrought He vow'd he was not there at that same time When 't began so not guilty of that crime The Preterperfect Tense then began to plead Protesting himself innocent of that deed For though his time was perfectly past yet he Said I have lov'd amavi ferventlie For he and I do all such Quarrels shun And never heard o' th' Battle until 't was done The Preterpluperfect then was call'd in And brought amaveram with him who had bin His long and constant friend who said Though their time Were more than perfectly past yet that crime Cou'd not be laid to their charge ' cause that they Had lov'd one another many a day And will do 't still with leave o' th' Future Tense That they got great applause when they went thence The Future Tense at last was called in Who plainly told 'em If he had guilty bin Of such a thing he deserv'd to be blam'd But yet say they methinks y' are not asham'd To confess you did not love No says he I did not for that can be no fault in me For an Astrologer told me once at home That my time of loving was not yet come And likewise told me that amabo and I Shall or will love most certainly Then all the Court remov'd and did pray They ne'r might see such another day On the Squibs and Crackers thrown on the Lord Mayors day 'T Was just the day 'fore twenty ten Of dull October being then The Lord Mayors show or eke his day So call'd by th' Vulgar as they say I speak not of that glorious Crew That past us by in open view As first the Companies several Belonging to each others Hall All clad in black with half red Tippit Who on their Petitoes did trip it Nor of those Velvet-coats so black With Chains of gold hung on their back Nor of that Teem of Scarlet-Riders Who of the City-wards are Guiders Nor of the Troops and Horses fairness Whose Masters all were clad in Harness Whose Officers Coats bedecked were With Gold embroider'd every where Nor the Foot with Bagpipe Fife and Drum Who thither with the rest did come For to attend our Soveraign Whom God preserve with all his Train Nor of those gallant Princely Coaches To all I gave a Bonos noches But of those Gallants Treat I do That were Spectators of that Show Who there were placed in Balconies ' Mongst which were many antient Cronies And Ladies young who all there stood I can't say sit they wisht they cou'd For in the twinkling of an eye Such Squibs and Crackers then did flie In such a horrid fiery fashion It forc'd them all to change their station Lest it should burn their Garments gay Which borrowed were perhaps that day They chiefly flew like Whirligigs On curled Hair and Perriwigs Nothing escap'd them they were so set That all was Fish that came to Net A couple came that day to see And to be seen in all their braverie And drest they were most finically That all shou'd note that stood them by In striped Mantua's they were drest Of all colours i' th' Rainbow I protest And both were in Balcony set Thinking their gayness then so great That none wou'd venture their Squibs to fling At them being as fine as any thing The Squibs and Cracker-men below Observing what they did and how Confident they were that none would throw And being intent about the Show Some ten of them together flung Which did directly light among Those which in that Balcony sate Which made them stir but 't was too late And 'fore they cou'd remove their station Up
came ten more i' the same fashion Which quickly burnt their curled Hair Their Hoods and Scarfs and all was there Their Rain-bow-colour'd Cloths I find Were all burnt both before and behind And left 'em in most woful cases For 't scorcht the Patches on their faces They were so claw'd that one did swear They both like Gipsies did appear Though they came in in merry posture Yet when went out their eyes were moister Though they at fore-door did come in Yet they at back-door went out agin And forc'd were t' go to their old Stallion Being al-a-mode de Taterdemallion Also a Lord but the Lord knows who It was for it burnt his Breeches too His Velvet-coat Perriwig and Hat And also his richly lac'd Cravat Nay they from Windows scarce cou'd peep But suddenly were forc'd to creep Back again or those Ladies fair Were sure to burn their Hoods and Hair No Gowns nor Whisks did then escape For on Petticoats they made a Rape Not on those that were a top alone But below too they were so sawcy grown Another it seems then to secure A pretty Lady did then endure A hot Contest but by his leave It quickly burnt his Half-shirt-sleeve The Author catcht one in 's hand a top And flung't in 's face that threw it up To keep 't from them that were above But by his favour it burnt his Glove Last I advise if any chance to go Agen to see the Lord Mayors Show They must not in Balconies stand Or any place that 's low at hand But i' th' Garret or the Leads a top For that 's too high to fling 'em up A Song to the Tune of Thomas I cannot 1. COme my Molly let us be jolly Now we are both come hither Thy Mother 's from home and we are alone Then let us be merry together I 'll give thee some Rings and Bracelets fine And other Trinkets if thou wilt be mine In truth good Sir I dare not incline My Mother does tell me I munnot I munnot My Mother does tell me I munnot 2. Thou sha't have a Gown of the vinest zilk The like was never zeena Thou sha't ha the Cream of all the Milk Of the Cows that go on the Greena To make thee some Curds and Cheescakes store And Custards too all sugar'd ore I pray you good Sir now say no more My Mother does tell me I munnot c. 3. Thy Wastcoat shall be of Scarlet too With Ribonds tyed together Thy Stockins shall be of a Bow-died hue And thy shoes of Spanish Leather And upon each Shoe a silken Knot For to set out thy delicate foot In truth good Sir I dare not do 't My Mother does tell me c. 4. Thy Petticoat shall be of Sey The best in all the Towna And thou shalt wear it every day And zo thou shalt thy Gowna Thy Smock shall be of Holland fine If thou in love with me wo't joyn In truth good Sir I dare not combine My Mother does tell me c. 5. I 'll feof thee in a Copy-hold Of Forty pound a yeara And I ha Twonty pound in Gold Will serve to make good Cheara O no you men I know ye too well But give you an inch and you 'll take an ell And when you have done you Tales will tell In truth good Sir I munnot I munnot My Mother does tell me I munnot 6. Why then my Molly here I vow My Lips shall still be sealed And whatsoever we do now Shall never be revealed With one sweet Kiss we 'll seal the same Deny me but this you are to blame O this Kiss doth so inflame I cannot hold out a minit a minit I cannot hold out a minit A SONG The Tune My Dame Joan hath pawn'd her Kittle 1. CLear up those stormy Brows and teach My weak and wadling Love to go Who makes 'twixt Infant-loves a breach Sure is no stout nor gallant foe Prethee let us prove that Cupid is above The firm Votes of immortal Fate Though a Child he be let Malice see That Love is stronger far than Hate 2. Then be no longer fondly coy Death 's here more welcome than delay Love is a nimble sprightly Boy And hath swift wings the Poets say Let 's lose no time 't is a capital crime None sins in Love like him that 's slow If I wanton be pray pardon me Love's a Child and Children will be so 3. My Senses call me dull and blame My calmness that thus pleading stands Come your Mother she did do the same Yield or I must lay violent hands For shall I spare one such a Rape hath done And violence on my Soul hath lain And why should she thus ravish me And I not ravish her again 4. Why this stir why this denying This pish pish Groper stand away Why this proud and coy denying ' Cause I there my hand did lay I did grope 't is true but in love sure you Will count it no offence I hope If the cause you 'll find know Love is blind And they that cannot see must grope A Mock-Song to Come my Daphne Man COme my durty Pug away What the Pox d' ye mean to say Wom. 'T is Rowland calls what wou'd my Swine Man Come up you Whore 't is time to dine Where Vulcan shall provide A Whip to claw your hide Wom. Were I shut up within a Jail 'T is Rowland he must be my Bail Man You lazy Whore make hast The Meat at fire doth wast In the burning Fountain I Must for ever live and die And on thy mangy bosom stray Would fright would fright Would fright the Devil away Chorus We 'll howl and weep and ne'r give ore Because the Fiends do see do see The cursed glee 'Twixt thee and me But never will deplore My sad but fatal Destinie Another Drunken Mock to Come my Daphne T. COme my Bully-rock away We do wast this drinking day R. 'T is Roger calls What news you Sot T. Come see you Rogue what I have got For Bacchus still provides Brisk Wine to stuff our Hides R. Were I shut up in Cellar deep I 'd first be drunk before I 'd sleep T. Ye lazy Rogue make hast The Wine will spoil and wast R. With good Sack and Claret I Will for ever live and die And from Bung-hole ne'r will stray Till thee and I have suckt it quite away Chorus We 'll drink and sleep and then we 'll snore That Bacchus he May dayly see The Bubbing Glee 'Twixt thee and mee But never will give ore Whilst we good Sack or Claret see The Wooing Gallant A SONG 1. COme hither my dearest come hither to me And I will be so loving to thee As never was man before Then gi' me thy heart and thou sha't a mine For if I may be certain of thine I 'll never desire no more Then unto my house we 'll trip it away And fit and provide for the Wedding-day We 'll dance and we 'll sing And
GRAMMATICAL Drollery Consisting of POEMS SONGS Wherein the RULES of the NOVNS VERBS IN THE ACCEDENCE Are pleasantly made Easie FOR THE Benefit of any that delight in a Tract of this Nature By W. H. ickes LONDON Printed for Tho. Fox and are to be sold at the 〈◊〉 and at the Star in Westminster-hall 1682 GRAMMATICAL Drollery The Adverbs Quarrel THe Adverbs had a Quarrel as they say Says ubi Where in what place I pray Says ibi There and in that very place Where u and i by u receiv'd disgrace Then Mr. hic did plainly say 't was here Yes yes says istic in that very place 't was there One askt whe'r 't was within doors or without Says intus 'T was within doors without doubt No no says foris I 'm certain 't was abroad Where some o' th' Adverbs were severely claw'd Then one did ask 'em when began the Fray My troth says honest hodie 't was to day Says cras I fear 't will last to morrow too There are such adverse Adverbs in the Crew Alas says perindi◠without laughter I fear 't will last until the day after Says heri Yesterday I heard something on 't Say olim In times past 't was their wont Says aliquando Sometimes now and then Such Jars happen ' mongst such kind of men And 't was of late so says nuper then And may says mox be by and by agen Says statim Presently for ought I know Says cito Quickly let 's prepare to go Repente cries We suddenly must depart And subito therein did take his part Ocyus said We quick must hast away Yes says jam and modo just now we say But alias for another time did plead Says forsan Perhaps you 'll repent the deed Says lente Hast makes wast go slowly on We 've a weighty matter to think upon Says quamdiu then How long shall we stay Diu says A long while make no hast away Quotidie day by day ill News doth hear I 'll stay says donec till the coast be clear Vnde askt from whence comes all this prate From hence says hinc we 're all unfortunate Illinc said From thence istinc from that place Where you and I a Mistriss had in chace Whither shall we flie says quo Hither says huc Illuc says Thither or you 'll have ill luck Yes says istuc to that place Says alio To another or I shall fail you ho. This Jarring then did breed such a puther Aliquo bids go to some place or other Which way says qua let us well advise Says illac That way take or y' are not wise Faith says quacunque which way soere you go You 'll be beset on all sides with the Foe How to behave my self says qualiter I know not but am resolv'd to rail at her Has been the cause on 't Says poor primum First I 'll to th' trees and then I 'll climb 'um To be out of danger I 'm so perplext Says Inde Then be sure I 'll be the next To follow ye After says deinde I 'll follow too knew I where to find ye Lastly says denique Let 's go together In regard we 're all Birds of a Feather And then came in a very scurvy cur Askt 'em why they then made such a stir Then all did call him cur which made him cry And why cur says he because cur is why Says quare Wherefore do ye jar I fear you 'll hear alas too much of War Quorsum then did ask 'em to what end They quarrelled and whither did it tend Says heus Heark ye so said ehodum too What 's the cause ye make so much ado Truly says profecto y' are all to blame Indeed says sane I do say the same Says minime You must in no wise jar Nequaquam by no means lest't prove a War I would to God says utinam you were As good friends as when ye came here Sodes and amabo of all loves did entreat And eia said Go to unless you 'll all be beat Says age Well una together with me Will try if we can make 'em all agree Now 's the time says nunc or else never Not onely now says non modo but ever 'T is always good says semper to be quiet Else you 'll surely get but little by it Seorsim doth advise to go apart One after another lest they all do smart Yes says imo and potius said he had rather Go one by one than go altogether Poor fere said he almost fear'd to go And hand was scarcely brought unto it too Then ecce he came in and 's Brother en Saying behold here 's none but jangling men Perhaps says forte and fortuito You may repent it yea and rue it too So also said their Brother good fortassis And call'd 'em all a Crew of drunken Asses Veluti and sicut said They act as 't were Like mad men as they go every where And sic likewise did say the very same And so fell sick to see all out of frame One askt how sic did was told So so That 's sic sic says he then he 's ill I know Quasi said Although they were to blame Something might be done their Brains to tame Says quomodo But how can it be done Says bene Well let each take a Gun And force 'em to 't Recte said 't was rightly spoke Optime said 't was best way not provoke Fortiter then strongly spoke saying Let us Quickly prevent 'em lest they beset us This made fortius more valiant to declare And fortissime most valiant to prepare ' Gainst any assault that might attack 'em Which made the major part begin to back ' um And docte being learn'd then began To give the Character of every man But male then being of an evil mind Did joyn with pessime the worst inclin'd To peace of any Which sicut hearing Said 't was like as a War appearing And so said ceu As sicut so say I So says tanquam velut and all that fry Says multum nay it much doth grieve me And plurimum very much believe me But parum little cared for what they said And minimum the least of all in dread And magis more than all the rest let fly Likewise at tam but maxime especially Paululum a little while did weep To see his Brethren laid by War to sleep Minus was less griev'd than all the rest Which prope that was nigh could not digest Valde greatly did bemoan their fate And told 'em they 'd be all unfortunate Nimium said they were too much inclin'd To mischief and bid 'em change their mind Propius and proxime came near'st of all To make an end of this inhumane Brawl And admodum did very much desire To put an end to this Intestine Fire Then satis came and cry'd Enough enough We may ere long have cause to make proof Of your undaunted Courages till then Let 's all shake hands and be friends
Their Rumps were bad but mine was worse That we all may say God a mercy Horse The POSTSCRIPT Thus have you heard our Iter Orientale Which to us three was very male But I the worst of all that Jovial Crew So iterum atque iterum I bid ye adieu A new Song 1. I Once for a fancy did love pretty Nancy Till Jenny came into the place Who when I did see there 's no man cou'd be Ever so took with a face 2. But when at a Ball I saw pretty Mall Methoughts she tript it so fine I felt such a smart that I us'd all my art By presents to make her mine 3. This lasted a day until at a Play I saw my beautiful Jone Which made me to think I was just at the brink Of marriage with her or none 4. This humour did last until I did cast My eyes on my pretty fine Kate My heart was so caught that I verily thought She should have been my Mate 5. But after a while I seeing the smile Of my dear bonny sweet Betty Which made me to start that I thought in my heart That none cou'd ere be so pretty 6. But being a Guest at a Wedding-feast I there sweet Susan espide And truth for to tell I likt her so well I thought to a made her my Bride 7. But after a day at a place where I lay I chanc'd fair Nelly to see That I never was so in love with a Lass She was so airy and free 8. But yet for all this I soon left that Miss When I heard sweet Abigail's voice She tril'd it so well I then 'gan to smell That here I should make my choice 9. And this did remain for a day or twain Till I heard fair Dolly to play So well on the Lute I then 'gan my sute For marriage with her the next day 10. Fair Hester at last had my heart so fast I resolv'd to make her my own But a little after I handsomely left her For my humour of love was gone 11. Yet I never will grieve for I still do believe I 've a Mistriss yet to come Or else I must say I 'm in love ev'ry day But I cannot tell with whom A new SONG 1. LEt 's strive to improve our Talent of Love 'T is that which can give us content We 'll banish those fears that usher in cares And give to our Pleasures a vent 2. And when we begin to be stupid within We 'll march to the Tavern amain For a cup of good Sack will supply what we lack And restore us to Pleasures again 3. For Sorrow and Care does but bring in despair And makes us like Drones to sit But Cupid and Bacchus will every day make us Masters of Pleasure and Wit A new SONG 1. PRethee Caelia tell me why Thou 'st been so strange of late What Object now has took thy eye That I am thus so soon laid by As one that 's out of date 2. Thou knowst my kindness still was such As none cou'd ere be more And which is now in Gallants much I in my promise still kept touch Which no man did before 3. Is it because thou lov'st to range And take thy swing about If it be so methinks 't is strange That any one a friend should change For one o' th' common Rout. 4. Or else dost think my Fortune lean And cannot entertain Thee in a handsome Miss-like mean Though I confess 't is often seen Faith Caelia this is vain 5. But if 't be Pride then Caelia know I gave thee thy renown And made thy Infant-fortunes grow When thou were 't in esteem so low Thy name was scarcely known 6. Had not my Pen advanc'd thy fame and gave it wings to flye thou d'st been as one without a name And in thy Reputation lame To every vulgar eye 7. Then Celia since I 've made thee great I 'll take thee down agen And make thy Glories so retreat That all shall take thee for a Cheat And where 's poor Celia then 8. Thus art thou brought by foolish pride Into this low estate Hadst thou been kind thou hadst me ti'd To make thee at the last my Bride But Celia now't's too late A new Song The Tune is Mr. Staggins his Minuit which he made for the Ball at Whitehal 1673. 1. GOne is my Dearest she I so admired Never was man so dejected before She so much Beauty had all hearts she fired No one cou'd ever be Mistriss of more But when her charming Eyes Once let their glances flie None cou'd withstand 'em but all fell in love Nay some did think she was Clad in that humane dress And by the Gods sent down from above 2. And though so fair she was never did woman Wear so much modesty still in her face And of so great a Wit that it was common Still to deliver her words with a grace But when her Lute she took She on't so sweetly strook Never did Mortals such harmony hear We thought the Heavenly Quire All met and fixt in her And then did wish our selves nothing but ear 3. Then welcome Sadness and farewel all Pleasure Nothing is left for me now but despair And of the Gods I beg some little leisure Onely to shed on her Grave a sad tear And there deplore the fate Of my dear peerless Mate That after-ages may give her her due Also I beg to have This Motto on my Grave Never O never died Lover so true A new SONG The Tune is The Duke of Lorains March 1. ROuse up Boys Ease destroys Every martial wight Then arm apace the Foes increase And all prepar'd to fight Tantarara tantarara The Trumpets sound amain Then let 's away to win the day That every one may honour gain 2. It is decreed Delay does breed Danger still in War Then let us go to meet the Foe Before they advance too far Dub a dub a dub Dub a dub a dub The Drums a Charge do beat Then let us fight from morn till night Until we make 'em all retreat 3. And all that can must charge i' th' Van Until you 've broke their Rank If'twill not do then you must go And charge 'em in the Flank And then you must be sure Boys To charge 'em in the Rear Until they flie then you must cry Away they run they run for fear 4. When that is done and Field is won The Plunder is your own The Spoils in War most lawful are To every man 't is known And then you may with freedom Boys Drink and take your ease Or with a Miss to court and kiss As you your fancy mean to please A SONG To which the two last Verses were lately added 1. NO scornful Beauty ere shall boast She made me love in vain Those men are fools who once are crost If ere they love again To whine and pine I never can And tell you I must die It is so much beneath a man I 'll never do 't not I. 2.
I go My pursuit should be so I wou'd seem not to care whe'r I had her or no. That 's a lawful Trepan And if 't were but began You 'll see 'em run whining and cry for a man A SONG With the ANSWER 1. SInce you will needs my heart possess 'T is just to you I do confess The fault to whom 't is given It is to change much more inclin'd Than Women or the Sea or Wind Or ought that 's under Heaven 2. The fair the black the gay the sad Which often makes me think 't was mad With one kind look would win it So natural it loves to range That it hath left success for change And what 's worse glories in it 3. Often when I am laid to rest It makes me act like one possest For still 't will keep a puther Though you alone I do esteem Yet 't will make me in a dream Court and enjoy another 4. Nor will I hide from you this truth Which has been from my very Youth A most egregious Ranger For since from me it often fled With whom it was both born and bred 'T will scarce stay with a Stranger 5. But now if you are not afraid After these truths which I have said To take this arrant Rover Be not displeas'd if I protest I think the heart within my breast Will prove just such another The ANSWER 1. SInce Sir your heart will then away Let that be gone which will not stay Yet I 'll the same be ever With wandring Drake you then may range And like unconstant Proteus change For my part I will never 2. But yet mistake me not my mind Was never yet to Love inclin'd Much less to any Lover For I resolved am to be Still constant to Unconstancie Which you 'll by this discover 3. Methinks it is a pretty sport To see how Rivals do retort And grin upon each other A frown on this man makes him sad On that doth make him raving mad A smile insnares another 4. 'T is brave to hear such Gothams boast And how each other they accost Of which some are for fighting And some in corners do appear A wishing for their Panders there And some are for inditing 5. This Sir 's Loves Paradise wherein Not a few parts have acted bin Since there your heart 's a Ranger It shall the honour have to pass And bray there like a very Ass And so shall not a stranger A SONG call'd Francelia With the ANSWER To the Tune of Augusta 1. FRancelia's heart is still the same Cold and hard as Winters morning Round her Love is ever burning Yet no sighs or tears can ever Yet no c. Warm her Ice or cool my Fever 2. So much I think and talk of her That every Grove and Stream can name her All the Nimphs and Ecchos blame her If she keeps her cruel fashion If she keeps c. Onely Death can ease my Passion 3. All the Arts that Lovers have All the Vows and all the Anguish All the looks with which I languish Move not her to any feeling Move not c. Beauty takes delight in killing The ANSWER 1. FRancelia's heart is still the same Kind and free to all embraces Though variety of faces Dayly court her to obtain her Dayly c. They can never never gain her 2. So much she thinks and talks of me That every Room i' th' house proclaims it Nay the babbling Eccho names it By a kind Reverberation By a kind c. That she 's constant in her Passion 3. All the Arts her Lovers use In their Presents Vows and Treatings Still appear to be but Cheatings Nought she says or does can please 'em Nought c. Makes 'em wish for death to ease ' em A Song set by Mr. Staggins With the Answer 1. WHy shou'd we ere Beauty fade Slaves to Care and Age be made Since our flying Youth can no more be had Where Love and Mirth do call let 's go And crop new Joys each minute as they grow To morrow's fate there 's none can know 2. Let 's sing and laugh sad thoughts away Mirth shall rule the active day And the night to Raptures of Love we 'll pay Thus should Youth in Pleasures reign And Gods that cannot put on Earth again Shall wish for such delights in vain The ANSWER 1. WHy should we ere think of Love Pox upon 't the Gods above The Torments on 't cou'd ne'r remove But if Lovers we must be God Bacchus shall be our Deitie For Wine alone can make us free 2. Let 's sing and throw Love-thoughts away Which still does make our Health decay And our Wit too often run astray But Wine is so divine a thing Let 's all its praises dayly sing Seeing nought but that can pleasure bring An excellent SGNG. 1. ALas what shall I do I have taken on me now To make a Song I vow A wo is me I am commanded to 't I dare not stand it out Though I 'm put to the rout It so must be Thou shalt do 't Then stand to 't I 'll set my Muse afoot With a good chirping Cup. There may some hidden Mine Spring from the Juice of Wine Then tak 't and drink it up 2. Pox on 't it will not do I must have t'other two I claim it as my due And must lov't For where the Land is dry The good Husband doth hie To bring the water nigh To improv't Here 's the use of the Juice Open me then the Sluce And die my Wit in grain That Soul 's ne'r empty That takes it in plenty 'T is the onely Spring of the Brain 3. Madam now you may see What Obedience is in me I have done what may be For to obey I have set my Muse on foot With the sprightly Grape to boot That commands me do 't 'T is they must sway If my Pate soon or late Shall bring forth some conceit To you my wit I owe. If I do fall flat It is mark you that I 'm a Cup too low If I spoke sence enough Or did speak but stuff All is alike to me I 'll never pause upon 't You were the cause on 't And that 's my Apologie On a Beautiful Miss 1. I Know I 'm no Poet My Song will soon show it But my Sorrows do flow like a Spring Although they do shame me The world cannot blame me That I should thus dolefully sing My loss is so great And such a Defeat No Mortal had ever before For she had every Feature Of a beautiful Creature And no man can say any more 2. Her Lips it is true Were of Coventry-blue But her Hair was a fine Bow-dye Her Stature was low But her Nose was not so For 't was O most delicate high Her upper Lip thin Which finely turn'd in And her Teeth were as black as a coal But her under stood out To receive from her Snout The droppings that came from each hole 3. Though some Teeth she wanted
but a small and single span Yet I dare safely swear He that whole thousands has in fee Wou'd forfeit all so he might be Lord of the Mannor there 9. But now before I pass the Line Pray Reader give me leave to dine And pause here in the middle The Bridegroom and the Parson knock With all the Hymeneal flock The Plum-cake and the Fiddle 10. Whenas the Priest Clarissa sees He star'd as 't had bin half his fees To gaze upon her face And if the Spirit did not move His Continence was far above Each sinner in the place 11. With mick stir he joyn'd their hands And hamper'd 'em in Marriage-bands As fast as fast might be Where still methinks methinks I hear That secret Sigh in every ear O Love remember me 12. Which done the Cook he knockt amain And up the Dishes in a train Came smoaking two and two With that they wipt their mouths and sate Some fell to quaffing some to prate Aye marry and welcome too 13. In Pairs they thus impal'd the Meat Roger and Marget and Thomas and Kate Rafe and Bess Andrew and Maudlin And Valentine eke with Sybil so sweet Whose Cheeks on each side of her Snuffers did meet As round and plump as a Codlin 14. When at the last they 'd fetcht their fees And mir'd their stomach up to th' knees In Claret for and good Chear Then then began the merry din For 't was thought they were all on the Pin. O what kissing and clipping was there 15. But as luck would have 't the Parson said Grace And to frisking and dancing they shuffled apace Each Lad took's Last by the fist Who there did kiss her and turn her until The fat of her face ran down like a Mill He toul'd for the rest of the Grist 16. In sweat and in dust having wasted the day They enter'd on the last Act of the Play The Bride to her Bed was convey'd Where knee-deep each hand fell down to the ground And in seeking the Garter much pleasure was found ' Twou'd a made a mans arm have stray'd 17. This Clutter ore Clarissa lay Half-bedded like the peeping day Behind Olympus Cap Whilst at her head each twittering Girl The fatal Stockin quick did whirl To know the lucky hap 18. The Bridegroom in at last did ruffle All disappointed in the bustle The Maids had shav'd his Breeches But let him not complain till then In such a storm I can tell when He sav'd his other Stitches 19. And now he bounc'd into the Bed Even just as if a man had sed Fair Lady have at all Where twisted at the hug they lay Like Venus and the sprightful Boy O who wou'd fear the fall 20. Thus both with Loves sweet Tapers fir'd A thousand balmy Kisses tir'd They cou'd not wait the rest But out the Folk and Candles fled And to 't they went but what they did There lies the Cream o' th' Jest A positive Farewel to Love 1. WHen in the month of January Ripe Apples grow on Trees When Butter doth in Fehruary At once both thaw and freeze When Horses flie Beasts headless walk When Chairs and Stools do move When Mutes as fast as Women talk Then will I fall in love 2. When Cherries in the month of March As ripe are as in June When men instead of Corn sow Starch When Bears do sing in tune When Fishes on the Trees do chatter When Womens Tongues ne'r move When Men forbear to lie and flatter Then will I fall in love 3. If when it rains the ground be dry Or when 't is foul fair weather When Sun and Moon shall in the Sky Both meet and dance together When the Heavens fall where th' Earth doth stand And th' Earth doth mount above And I can grasp both in my hand Then will I fall in love 4. A Lover he no Will doth know He cannot speak or stir He is a Child and cannot go But as he 's mov'd by her Whilst I still by my self do move And to my Pleasures bend Then farewel unto shitten Love And so I 'll make an end FINIS