THE COURT BEGGER A COMEDIE Acted at the Cock-pit by his MAjESTIES Servants Anno 1632 WRITTEN By RICHARD BROME MART. Hic totus volo rideat Lîbellus LONDON Printed for RICHARD MARRIOT and THO. DRING and are to be sold at their Shops in Fleet-street 1653 Drammatis Personae SIR Andrew Mendicant an old Knight turnd a projector Mr. Courtwit a Complementer Mr. Swaynwit a blunt Countrey Gentleman Mr. Citwit a Citizens Son that supposes himselfe a wit Mr. Daynty a supposed Picture drawer but a Pick-pocket Sir Raphael an old Knight that talkes much and would be thought wise Sir Ferdinand a Knight distracted for love of the Lady Strangelove Frederick in love with Charissa Gabriel servant to Mendicant Doctor of Physick Three poore Projectors A Sowgelder A Boy Lady Strangelove a humerous widow that loved to be courted Philomel her Chambermaide Charissa Mendicants Daughter PROLOGUE WEe 've cause to fear yours or the Poets frowne For of late day's he know's not how y' are grown Deeply in love with a new strayne of wit Which he condemns at least disliketh it And solemnely protests you are to blame If at his hands you doe expect the same Hee 'l tread his usuall way no gaudy Sceane Shall give instructions what his plot doth meane No handsome Love-toy shall your time beguile Forcing your pitty to a sigh or smile But a slight piece of mirth yet such were writ By our great Masters of the Stage and Wit Whom you approv'd let not your suffrage then Condemne 't in him and prayse 't in other men Troth Gentlemen let me advise yee spare To vex the Poet full of age and care How he might strive to please yee and beguile His humerous expectation with a smile As if you would be satisfy'd although His Comedy containes no antique show Yet you to him your favour may expresse As well as unto those whose forwardnesse Make 's them your Creatures thought who in a way To purchace fame give money with their Play Yet you sometimes pay deare for 't since they write Lesse for your pleasure than their own delight Which if our Poet fayle in may he be A Sceane of Mirth in their next Comedye THE COURT BEGGER ACT I. SCENE I. Mendicant Charissa Men. YO' have given him then his answer Cha. Forc'd by you Heaven knowes with my much sorrow Such a Lover So in all points deserving of true worth And best indowments to make up a Man That I shall never see your pardon sir Though you pulld back by violence my hand In which my heart was freely given to him It is not in your power or strength of art To beat a sigh back or restraine a teare Which I must offer to his memory Men. Such stormes soone wast themselves in absent Lovers When light of Reason and good Counsell shall Breake forth and shine upon 'em and for your part Daughter I know it shall And presently I thus begin to dissipate your errors You love this Frederick Cha. Love knows I do Men. You say he is deserving in all points Cha. My love emboldens me to tell you he is Men. Charissa take me with you Is he not Deficient in that onely absolute point That must maintaine a Lady an estate Cha. Love weighes not that Men. What can he shew you more To take you with then a wild head of hayre A very Limebush to catch Lady-birds A Tissue Doublet and a Riband shop Hung in his Hatbands might set up a Pedler Can this maintaine a Lady Cha. You but looke Upon his outside sir Men. I trust you have not Bin over inwardly acquainted with him Cha. Sir he has Valour Wit and Honour you well know Hee 's of a noble Family extracted Men. What 's that a yeare those parts may be acquir'd In winning of a strumpet But what Joincture Can he propound to you or in case he dyes Your Dowry being spent what personall Estate I st like hee 'l leave you but his Powder glasse His Combe and Beard-brush and perhaps a Trunkfull Of Elegies Raptures Madrigalls and Sonnets No let him goe discard him and embrace The hopes that I have for thee in the hopefull Exquisite Cavalier Courtier and Souldier Scholler and what not brave Sir Ferdinando There 's a Man rising in the favour Royall And may in thee Charissa make me happy Cha. Sir you have given me liberty of speech And may be pleas'd to let me tell you now You aime at your own fortune not at mine Men. I seeke no fortune but for thy advancement All that I shall call mine must be thine owne Cha. I would be playner yet beseeching you be not thought too lose in my obedience Men. Speake freely Girle Cha. Your ayme has bin to raise You state by Court-suits begging as some call it And for that end you left your Countrey life And Lands too ever since my Mother dy'd Who while shee liv'd with best of womans judgement Which held you from that course of selling faire Possessions to enable you with money To purchace wit at Court You pardon me Men. On on Cha. And for th' Exchange of a faire Mansion-house Large fruitfull Fields rich Medowes and sweet pastures Well cropt with corne and stockd as well with Cattell A parke well stor'd with Deere too and Fishponds in 't And all this for a lodging in the Strand now But doe I not offend Men. No no on still Cha. Your own fed Beefes and Muttons Fowle and Poultry Loaded your long boords then and you had then Neighbours could boast your hospitality And poore that for the remnants prayd for you Now all concludes upon a two-dishd table And whereas then you had a numerous Family Of Servants and Attendants out of which For profit or for pleasure you could call Your Bayliffe Groom your Falconer or your Huntsman Now sir a Varlet Coachman and Footboy Are all your Retinue and for the Hounds You kept that made you sport and Musick now None but your project Beagles that smell out Where such a forfeiture is to be begg'd Where one would purchase a Reprieve another A Pardon or a lease of Life Rope-free For ready money Then where Goods or Lands Are found of men that make away themselfes And so of fooles and madmen All to set Your trade of Begging up and still you beg But your own want of favour holds you back From reaching any profit by 't because You beg by Mediators tongues which you Call Favorites who reape the crop of all And leave you but the Gleanings some small pittance To keepe alive the itch of begging in you Men. Shee speakes home and within me to the purpose Cha. Still wasting your own fortunes till at last You have no hopefull project left to thrive by But to put me upon this suppos'd favorite To beg for you when it is doubtfull yet Whether hee 'l take me with the Dowry which Mine Unkle left me though you adde your projects Men. The noble Gallant loves thee Girle and holds Thy
Do you not know me sir Fre. You are I tak 't the Ghost of Dionisius The great tirannicall Court-schole-master Ra. Your Friends at Court commend them to you Sir Fer. What hither unto hell Extend their loves So far to finde me out Pray let 'em know That here 's a trobled world in want of Statesmen But tell the youthes and beauties there they never Shall finde a happier opportunity To raise a new Plantation They 'l drive all Before 'em here For pride is at a stand Fashions are all worne out and no invention For new here to be found all beauty 's lost Nor have the greatest Ladies here the act To make so much as their poore Chambermayds Let 'em come downe as many of the Gallants As are made weary of their Wives or Mistresses And of those Wives and Mistresses as many As can their husbands or their servants spare And what a yeare of Holy-dayes a Jubile Shall we have in hell then Ha' old Lad Ra. What a wilde fancie 's this Doct. Crosse it not good sir Ra. Pray give mee leave to touch it though a little Fer. But above all finde out the Lady Strangelove That humorous Madam and tell her from me The many Lovers shee has sent before her Into these shades where we can find no torments Like those that shee inflicted have prevail'd With the great Queene Proserpina that shee Shall be in place next to her royall person Ra. The Lady Strangelove you are in her house sir Where doe you thinke you are or who you are Pray call your selfe to mind sir are not you The noble Cavalier and hopefull Courtier The most accomplish'd Knight sir Ferdinando Doct. Forbeare sir you will move him strongly else Ra. I have authority for what I do sir Can you forget your selfe sir or neglect The bounteous fortunes that the Court and Kingdome Have in store for you both for past Atchievments And for the large endowments of court-vertue Are found still growing in you studied and practis'd So to the life as if you were built up Vertues own Mansion on her foure firme pillars Men. I hope he cannot flatter him into 's wits When 't is the way to foole men out of 'em Ra. The Wisdome Justice Magnanimity And temperance of court you are exactly Fram'd and compos'd of and indued with all The excelencies that may adorne a man By Nature Fortune Art and Industry And all this glorious light to be eclips'd And such Divine perfections seeme to sleepe Fer. Pray sir your eare Ra. Sir most attentively Fer. What do you thinke of Salsbury steeple sir For a fit hunting speare t' incounter with The whore of Babilion might I not firke her thinke you Men. Your Doctrine dos not edify sir Raphael Fer. Is Oratour Demostines growne dumbe O' th' sodaine what no answer give me a Knife He is but tongue-tied Ra: Guard me Divinity Doct. I told you what you would doe Men. Patience good sir Fer. Patience in tortures Doct. Helpe here sodainly Enter Servants Fer. Do you sally forth in troupes Have I no troupe Give me my horse and armes and come a hundred Doct. Wee 'l arme and horse you since y' are so unruly Away with him into his Bed-chamber Fer. O doe you make me then your Knight o' th' shire A tun o' Wine for that Shoulder your Knight advance your Knight beare him out Manent Men Al. A Ferdinand a Ferdinand c. sir Rap Men. This now to me is Musick Golden-chimes That rings all in with an assur'd advantage How now Sir Raphael Frighted Ra. In all my disputations all my travailes And all conspiracies that have bin had Aagainst me never met I an incounter By man or spirit that I feard so much Yet here 's another fury Enter Strangelove Str. By what oppression or tiranny for Law I 'm sure could never do 't is my house here Confiscated or usurp'd and I become your slave Men. How Madam Str. Your slave lay your commands on mee what drudgery doe you appoint me to Ra. Shee 's mad too Men. Did not your Ladyship give way Str. To make my house a hell The noyse of Bedlem is soft Musick to 't Could your Projectorship find no house else To make a mad-man madder in but mine And me as mad as he too with the trouble Men. I was no principle in 't good Madam Exit Str. Was it your plot then sir Philosophaster That so you might under pretext of reading Philosophy to him to cure his madnesse Make your adresse to me to prosequte Your Love-suite when I thought I had answer'd you But if you must proceede o'recome me if you can Yet let me warne you to take heede withall You pull not a disease unto you that may By your ungovern'd hast post into Your grave for I shall prove a torment to you Though you 'l take no denyall take yet a warning Ra. I take it to forsake your house and never More to resort where madnesse raignes Did I Make love to you Str. Pardon mee vertuous sir it is my love to you that tortures mee into this wild distraction O sit Raphael Ra. Now vertue guide me I will shun this place More then I would the Spanish Inquisition Str. I shall in time be rid of all such Guests And have the liberty of mine owne house With mine own company and to mine own ends Where are you Phil I were but dead if I had not this wench to foole withall sometimes Enter Phil. Phil. Madam Str. I must be a little serious with you shut the dore Phi. Now am I call'd into correction When shee is vext and wants the company Shee likes then come I into question 'T is common among Ladies with their women Str. Why that down looke as if you meant to fetch An answer or excuse out of your Apron-strings Before you are charged or question'd what new faule Has past of late Phi. Doe you read any Madam Upon my face or lookes I never was in love Much with my face nor ever hated it But if I thought It had upon 't or in it any trespasse Against your Ladyship my heart being cleare These Nayles should claw it out Teare Str. Nay be not passionate Phil. I know you cannot Forget the care I have had of you nor should you Distrust me in the promises I have made you Bearing your selfe according to your covenant Phil Of which one Article is to laugh with me Ph. Go you are such a Lady ha ha ha Str. Now thou comst to me wench hadst forgot Phi. You said you would be serious Str. Dost not thou know my seriousnesse is to laugh in private And that thou art bound to stir that humour in me There 's but two things more condition'd in thy service To do what I bid thee and tell me the truth In all things that I aske thee Phi. I Madam you had never known that same else Str. Of the clap thou hadst i' the Countrey e're I took thee But hast thou
Now out of this provision what an infinite Profit will rise i' th' generall use of 'em And multiplicity that will be worne By people of all sorts degrees and ages The old to hide their naturall baldnesse and The young and middle-ag'd their artificiall Or accidentall Gab. By the pox or so 1. P. They shall be brought into that reputation That none shall be esteem'd so sound or wise As publique wearers of them which to effectuate T is requisite that you obtaine a Mandat Unto all Courtiers that would be thought wise To weare false hayre because clownes have been noted To talke like fooles or mad men in their own Men. No more of that 1. What say to this my Lord Touching new fashions of apparrell sutes Hats Boots Swords Belts Ribands c. For every wearer of his first o' th' fashion To pay a groat to th' King and every Tradesman Two pence on every severall piece he sells Of any such new fashion the first yeare Gab. And what may this pride money amount unto Per annum can you guesse Men. I will not meddle in it 2. No my good Lord Men. No nor your Perrukes neither 3. What say to this my Lord of the Balconyes Men. Nor that 1. This then for sucking out of cornes Men. Away with it 2. This then that on the birth of every Girle The Father pay a groat to hearten men To live soberly and get Souldiers Men. Away 1. This makes amends for all then A new project For buylding a new Theatre or Play-house Upon the Thames on Barges or flat boats To helpe the watermen out of the losse They 've suffer'd by Sedans under which project The subject groanes when for the ease of one Two abler men must suffer and not the price Or pride of Horse-flesh or Coach-hire abated This shall bring flouds of gaine to th' watermen Of which they 'l give a fourth of every fare They shall boord at the floating Theatre Or set ashore from thence the Poets and Actors Halfe of their first yeares profits Men. Fy away 1. This is a weighty one For massy summes That may be freely given out of the City To have but this assurance that hereafter They may ingrosse the getting of their own Children by order tane that Cavaliers And Courtiers may no more invade Or mix with Tradesmens wives whereby t is thought So many City Prodigalls have been gotten Onely the thrifty countrey Gentlemen To be excepted for by them 't is guest So many Citizens grow landed men Gab. Were not they gotten by Projectors think you 3. My Lord your servant jeeres us Men. To deale plainely I doe allow 't in him Gab. Heaven has heard my prayers Men. And will heare him or any man oppose All that is put to me by way of project To put me by all further hopes in 'em For with hearts griefe I speake it he by whom I onely hop'd to climbe alas is fallen 1. What out of favour Men. No out of his Reason 2. The noble Cavalier sir Ferdinando 3. That late stood candidate for the favour royall Is he now fallen besides himselfe Men. Even he 1. What have you then to doe my Lord In lieu of all your service but beg him Men. His greater and his nearer friends at Court Will prevent me 2. They shall not never feare it 1. Come we will make quick worke of this My Lord you shall disburse but twenty pieces 2. Among us three 3. And we will instantly Finde his estate 1. And lay you down a way So plaine that you shall say All 's yours Before you stir a foot Gab. But when he has travell'd Till he has tir'd himselfe he shall returne And say All 's lost i st not so Gentlemen Men. I will not part with any money sirs 1. Trust me you doe not well to put my Lord Off o' his benefit by disheartning him In this small venture Will you then be pleas'd To give us but ten pieces Men. Not a penny 2. Five you shall my Lord And stand no longer thus in your own light 3. Or but a piece a Man Men. Not a denier 1. A dinner then my Lord but of one piece Men. My answers cannot please you Answer 'em you Gab. I wonder how you having stretch'd your throats With the loud sounds of thousands hundred thousands Can after all so faintly whisper forth One piece and that as much in vaine as all The massy summes for all but brings you nothing It shewes you Gentlemen of resolute patience And would take thankfully I warrant you An od halfe crowne amongst you and what say you To every man a kick on the condition What say you to one with tother 1. This abuse Shall lose your Master a hundred thousand pound Gab. Goe coine your bullion braines into the money And come againe My master was Your Lord even now as he was Lord of Beggers 1. I hope to live to see him beg of us Gab. Out hundreds thousands ten thousands hundred thousands Millions ten Millions Millions upon Millions Away I 'le stamp your buttocks into coyne else Ex. Projectors The Devill ride that hindmost of 'em for A raw bon'd Jade Sfoot he has lam'd my toes Men. I am glad I am so rid of 'em and now As th' art my Servant and my loving Kinseman Gab. To follow you in all things but in Projects Men. Looke to my House and Daughter that she start not Nor any entrance be allowd to Fredrick To re-intangle her in his Love I know Thy vertue and thy valour can make good My trust impos'd in thee Gab. You need not feare sir But good sir no more projects Men. I have but one On which I 'le set my rest Thoult say t is good Gab. Except it be the begging of this Madman It can be nothing Men. T is the very same By which I will advance my house and name Exit Gab. The Beggers best is that he feeles no shame Sprecious what meane you Ha' you forgot so soone Your Fathers strict command and he scarce gone yet Enter Charissa Cha. Alas hee 'l then meet Fredrick and divert him I saw him at the window making this way Gab. He gets no entrance to you I must obay A master though you can neglect a father Cha. Be not so cruell Thou mayst live to love And need the pitty of a friend Gab. I pitty you And will do no more then you know how to aske For your own good I understand your cause And can relieve you if you 'l yeild to councell Cha. You are my Kinsman and have bin my friend Though you observe my father who I feare Has not a fathers love towards me Gab. His love is great and certaine And all his travell is for your advancement But he goes blindfold on unprosperous wayes Led by credulity Projects pox o' projects The patron of his projects is it seemes Pepper'd with madnesse T is but Justice on him And now I 'le give you a secret if you
ACT IV. SCENE I. Enter Frederick Gabriel Fre. THou art so honest that I am asham'd The vice of Anger blinded so my Reason As not to see through thy transparent breast A true and noble heart such as becomes A Kinsman and a friend to her I love I can see now and read thy integrity And by the light of that th' inhumane false-hood Of that Court-monster that compacted piece Of Rapine pride and Lust Gab. Yet this is he That did aspire to be a glorious Courtier Fre. Courtier A meere vaine glorious imposture Pretending favour having nothing lesse Witnesse his want of Merit Merit only It is that smoothes the brow of Majesty And takes the comfort of those precious beauties Which shine from grace Divine and hee 's a Traytor No way to stand a courtier that to feed His Lusts and Riots works out of his Subjects The meanes by forging grants of the Kings favour Gab. What my master has suffer'd by his forgeries I know to be the Shipwrack even of all Except his Daughter and what his ayme at her Was I thinke appeares to you And what she might Have suffer'd by 't we both may guesse onely we hope Her vertue would have bin a guard to her beauty Fre. T is plaine he never lov'd her vertuously That is fallen mad for another Gab. That madnesse is his fate which renders him into my masters hands to restore all agen I note the Justice of it Fre. But as his fortune by the others ruine Shall be advanc'd I shall be more rejected Gab. That foule mistrust much misbecomes a Love Rejected sir by whom Charissa's constant to you And time will cleare his frownes and put you on Now the same confidence you had before His wanting fortune rais'd a storme against you Your noble friend Sir Raphael has already By learned reasons and court-oratory Prevayl'd for you to visit her and now Y' are come within the verge o' th' house do you shrinke See a good Omen they issue forth to meet you Enter Mendicant sir Raphael Charissa Men. I 'le heare no more on 't sir and am much sorry That so much Lip-labour is spent already Upon so vaine a Subject Give me leave then To wonder at your light inconstancy Your want of resolution yea of judgement Gab. He is flown off agen Ra. Did you not give me leave to send for him Who now is come to tender his affection Unto your Daughter Men. Did not you first promise Ferd: Char. and Gab. aside To give assurance of fit joincture for her Proportionable to her dowry which You now are started from Ra. I understood not Nor can yet understand more of her dowry Then a thousand pound which her Unkle left her And answerably to that I will make good her joincture Men. O you are short sir I meane to make her worth ten thousand more Out of my estate in the mad Ferdinand Another ten thousand to redeeme my Land Ten thousand more I 'le keep in bank for purchace Ra. A judgement 's fallen upon him Hee 's mad too Struck lunatique with his o're-weening hopes Sprung from the others misery Men. And so sir as you came you may depart For 'lesse you bring a thousand pound per annum T' assure upon her shee 's no wife for you Fre. O sir you had better left me in that peace I lately slept in without any hope Of seeing her againe then by your summons To startle me back from a quiet death To Kill me thus with Tantalizing tortures Men. Thank then your learned friend who fail'd me in His undertaking for you and for her If walls and locks can hold her she no more Shall tantalize you Ra. Wherein have I fail'd sir Men. Sir in assuring joincture to her Dowry Ra. Sir to no possible dowry you can give her But you propound the estate you have i' th' Moon When shall you take possession thinke you of your Lordship of Lunacy in the Cynthian Orbe Men. I shall climbe thither sir without the helpe Of your Heaven-scaling ladder of Philosophy Ra. Nay then sir heare me Men. What in private sir Fre. Remember sweet your vow Cha. Most constantly And let mee conjure you by this Kisse Fre. And this Cha. That you forget not yours Gab. Quick quick I 'le stand before you Cha. And time at length will point us out a meanes After a short long-seeming separation To meet and reunite our vowes and faiths With greater strength and fervour Men. Ha! I 'le part you Was it for that you whisper'd politick sir And couldst thou stand their screene thou treacherous varlet out of my dores Gab. For what offence Men. Darst thou expostulate Thou death deserving Villaine Hurts him And Huswife get you in you may depart sirs Has your love blinded you I 'le lead you then Ra. Madnesse at heighth Men. Will you along Cha. O sir you are unkinde Love then a wilfull father is lesse blind Exit Ra. Friend has he hurt thee Gab. I am sure I bleed for 't Ra. Why how now Frederick despaire not man He has vex'd me and out of my vexation Shall spring thy comfort I will labour for thee I 'le study nothing more then to beguile This watchfull fury this Hisperian Dragon Say to thy selfe and boldly shee 's thine owne And for thy meanes Basta let me alone Fre. You are my noble Patron Gab. Turn'd away As I was his servingman I am rewarded T is common with us creatures to serv'd so But as I am no more his servant I Am free to vindicate my selfe out of The wrong done to my blood which is the same With his by him rejected and despis'd Enter Cit-wit Cit. Sir Andrew Mendicant at home Gab. Not to be spoken with at this time sir Cit. Pray let him know that the Lady Strangelove Requires him sodainly to remove his Madman Out of her house or shee must take a course Much to his disadvantage Gab. In good time sir Cit. This is a surly fellow and tho' I have sworn The humor of fighting is scarce warme in me yet And she advises him to find a better Doctor for him For this has taken a wrong course Gab. Say you so sir Cit. I 'le tell 't you as a secret The Physitian thought to have cur'd his patient who has bin a notable Gamester at In and In between my Ladies legs If I and two or three more but chiefly my selfe indeed had not rescued her the Doctor had held the Lady-cow to the Mad-bull Gab. May I believe this Cit. He thinks I lie now And should he gi' me the lie the vertue of my Oath were questionable Gab. Is this upon your knowledge sir Cit. True upon my life So farewell honest friend Exit Gab. This may prove sport and businesse too Ra. We will do something sodainly Gab. What if you take me into that something too I guesse it is some stratagem to beguile The cautious father of his injur'd daughter Ra. This fellow will betray us Fre.