Bagge-pipe Purs. Nay sweete Mistris Tickle-man be concordant reuerence Antiquitie Enter Rash Longfield and Spendal Rash Saue you sweete creatures of beauty saue you How now olde Belzebub how dost thou Sweat Belzebub Belzebub in thy face Spend. Nay good words Mistris Swearman hee 's a young Gallant you must not weigh what he sayes Rash I would my lamentable complayning Louer had beene heere heere had beene a Supersede as for his melancholy and yfaith Francke I am glad my father has turn'd ouer his shop to thee I hope I or any friend of mine shall haue so much credite with thee as to stand in thy bookes for a suite of Sattin Spend. For a whole peece if you please any friend of yours shall command me to the last remnant Rash Why God a mercy Francke what shall 's to dice Spend. Dice or drincke heere 's forty crownes as long as that will last any thing Rash Why there spoke a gingling Boy Spend. A pox of money t' is but rubbish and he that hoord's it vp it but a Scauenger if there be cardes i th house let 's goe to Primero Rash Primero why I thought thou hadst not been so much gamster as to play at it Spend. Gamster to say truth I am none but what is it I will not be in good company I will fit my selfe to all humors I will game with a Gamster drinke with a drunkard be ciuill with a cittizen fight with a swaggerer and drabbe with a whoore-master Enter a Swaggerer puffing Rash An excellent humour yfaith Long. Zownds what haue we heere Spend. A land Porpoise I thinke Rash This is no angry nor no roaring boy but a blustering boy now Eolus defend vs what puffes are these Swag. I doe smell a whoore Dra. O Gentlemen giue him good words hee 's one of the roaring boyes Swag. Rogue Dra. Heere sir Swag. Take my cloake I must vnbuckle my pickled oysters worke puffe puffe Spend. Puffe puffe Swag. Dost thou retort in opposition stand Spend. Out you swaggering Rogue Zownds I le kicke him out of the roome Beates him away Tickle. Out alas their naked tooles are out Spend. Feare not sweet heart come along with me Enter Gartred sola Exeunt omnes Gart. Thrice happy dayes they were and too soone gone When as the heart was coupled with the tongue And no deceitfull flattery or guile Hung on the Louers teare-commixed smile Could women learne but that imperiousnesse By which men vse to stint our happinesse When they haue purchast vs for to be theirs By customarie sighs and forced teares To giue vs bittes of kindnesse lest we faint But no aboundance that we euer want And still are begging which too well they know Endeeres affection and doth make it grow Had we these sleights how happy were we then That we might glory ouer loue-sicke men But Arts we know not nor haue any skill To faine a sowre looke to a pleasing will Enter Ioyes Nor cowch a secret loue in shew of hate But if we like must be compassionate Yet I will striue to bridle and conceale The hid affection which my heart doth feele Ioyce Now the boy with the Bird-bolt be praisde nay faith sister forward t' was an excellent passion come let 's heare what is hee if hee be a proper man and haue a blacke eye a smooth chinne and a curld pare take him wench if my father will not consent runne away with him I 'le helpe to conuey you Gart. You talke strangely sister Ioyce Sister sister dissemble not with me though you doe meane to dissemble with your louer though you haue protested to conceale your affection by this tongue you shall not for I 'le discouer all as soone as I know the Gentleman Gart. Discouer what will you discouer Ioyce Mary enough I le warrant thee first and formost I le tell him thou readst loue-passions in print and speakest euerie morning without booke to thy looking-glasse next that thou neuer sleep'st till an houre after the Bell man that as soone as thou art asleepe thou art in a dreame and in a dreame thou art the kindest and comfortablest bed-fellow for kissings and embracings by this hand I can not rest for thee but our father Enter sir Lyonell Lyonell How now what are you two consulting on on husbands you thinke you loose time I am sure but holde your owne a little Girles it shall not be long ere I 'le prouide for you and for you Gartred I haue bethought my selfe already Whirle-pit the vsurer is late deceast A man of vnknowne wealth which he has left Vnto a prouident kinsman as I heare That was once seruant to that vnthrift Staines A prudent Gentleman they say he is And as I take it called maister Bubble Ioyce Bubble Lyonell Yes nimble-chappes what say you to that Ioyce Nothing but that I wish his Christen name were Water Gart. Sir I 'm at your disposing but my minde Stands not as yet towards marriage Were you so pleasde I would a little longer Enioy the quiet of a single bed Lyonell Heere 's the right tricke of them all let a man Be motion'd to vm they could be content To leade a single life forsooth when the harlotries Doe pine and runne into diseases Eate chalke and oate-meale cry and creep in corners Which are manifest tokens of their longings And yet they will dissemble But Gartred As you doe owe me reuerence and will pay it Prepare your selfe to like this Gentleman Who can maintaine thee in thy choice of Gownes Of tyres of seruants and of costly Iewells Nay for a neede out of his easie nature Mai'st draw him to the keeping of a Coach For Countrey and Carroach for London Indeed what mightst thou not Enter a Seruant Seruant Sir here 's one come from Master Bubble to inuite you to the funerall of his vncle Lyonell Thanke the Messenger and make him drinke Tell him I will not faile to wait the coarse Yet stay I will goe talke with him my selfe Gartred thinke vpon what I haue tolde you And let me er| 't be long receiue your answere Exeunt Lyonell Ser. Ioyce Sister sister Gart. What say you sister Ioyce Shall I prouide a Cord Gart. A Cord what to doe Ioyce Why to let thee out at the window doe not I know that thou wilt runne away with the Gentleman for whom you made the passion rather then indure this same Bubble that my father talkes of t' were good you would let mee bee of your councell lest I breake the necke of your plot Gart. Sister know I loue thee And I 'le not thinke a thought thou shalt not know I loue a Gentleman that answeres me In all the rites of loue as faithfully Has woo'd me oft with Sonets and with teares Yet I seeme still to slight him Experience tells The Iewell that 's enioy'd is not esteem'd Things hardly got are alwayes highest deem'd Ioyce You say wel sister but it is not good to linger out too long continuance of time will
I hold thee thus The worst is but repulse if I attempt it I am resolud my Geneus whispers to mee Goe on and win her thou art young and actiue Which she is apt to catch at for there 's nought That 's more vnsteadfast then a womans thought Enter Sir Lyo Will Rash Scatter-good Bubble Widdow Gartred Ioyce Phillis and Seruant Lyo. Heere 's ill lodging Widdow but you must know If wee had better wee could affoord it you Wid. The lodging Sir might serue better Guestes Lyo. Not better Widdow nor yet welcommer But wee will leaue you to it and the rest Phillis pray let your Mistris want not any thing Once more Good night I le leaue a kisse with you As earnest of a better Guift to morrow Sirrah a Light Wid. Good rest to all Bub. Et tu quoque forsooth Scat. God giue you good-night forsooth And send you an early resurrection Wid. God-might to both Lyo. Come come away each Bird vnto his nest To morrow night 's a time of little rest Exit Manet Widdow and Phillis Wid. Heere vntie soft let it alone I haue no diposition to sleepe yet Giue mee a Booke and leaue mee for a while Some halfe houre hence looke into mee Phil. I shall forsooth Exit Phillis Enter Spendall Wid. How now what makes this bold intrusion Spend. Pardon mee Lady I haue busines to you Wid. Busines from whom is it of such importance That it craues present hearing Spend. It does Wid. Then speake it and be briefe Spend. Nay gentle Widdow be more plyant to mee My suite is soft and courtious full of loue Wid. Of loue Spend. Of loue Wid. Why sure the man is madde bethinke thy selfe Thou hast forgot thy errand Spend. I haue indeed faire Lady for my errand Should first haue been deliuered on your lippes Wid. Why thou impudent fellow vnthrift of shame As well as of thy purse What has mooud thee To prosecute thy ruine hath my bountie For which thy Maister was an orator Importune thee to pay mee with abuse Sirra retire or I will to your shame With clamors rayse the house and make your Maister For this attempt returne you to the Dungion From whence you came Spend. Nay then I must be desperate Widdow hold your Clapdish fasten your Tongue Vnto your Roofe and do not dare to call But giue mee audience with feare and silence Come kisse mee No This Dagger has a poynt doe you see it And be vnto my suite obedient Or you shall feele it too For I will rather totter hang in cleane Linnen Then liue to scrub it out in lowsie Lynings Goe too kisse You will why so Againe the third time Good t is a sufficient Charme Now heare mee You are rich in Mony Lands and Lordships Mannors and fayre Possessions and I haue not so much As one poore Coppy-hold to thrust my head in Why should you not then haue compassion vpon a reasonable handsome fellow That has both youth and liuelihood vpon him And can at midnight quicken and refresh Pleasures decayed in you You want Children And I am strong lusty and haue a backe Like Hercules able to get them Without the helpe of Muscadine and Eggs And will you then that haue inough Take to your Bed a bundle of diseases Wrapt vp in threescore yeares to lie a hawking Spitting and coffing backwards and forwards That you shall not sleepe but thrusting forth Your face out of the Bed be glad to draw The Curtaines such a steame shall reeke Out of this dunghill Now what say you Shall we without further wrangling clap it vp And goe to Bed togeather Wid. Will you heare mee Knocke within Spend. Yes with all my heart So the first word may bee Vntrusse your Poynts Zounds one knocks do not stirre I charge you Nor speake but what I bid you For by these Lippes which now in loue I kisse If you but struggle or but rayse your voyce My arme shall rise with it and strike you dead Go too come on with mee and aske who 's there Wid. It is my Mayde Spend. No matter doe as I bid you say Who 's there Wid. Who 's there Within Phillis T is I forsooth Spend. If it be you forsooth then pray stay Till I shall call vpon you Wid. If it be you forsooth then pray you stay Till shall call vpon you Spend. Very well why now I see Thou 'lt prooue an obedient wise come let 's vndresse Wid. Will you put vp your naked weapon sir Spend. You shall pardon mee Widdow I must haue you grant first Wid. You will not put it vp Spend. Not till I haue some token of your loue Wid. If this may be a testimonie take it Kisse him By all my hopes I loue thee thou are worthy Of the best widdow liuing thou tak'st the course And those that will win widdowes must doe thus Spen. Nay I knew what I did when I came with my naked weapon in my hand but come vnlace Wid. Nay my deare loue know that I will not yeeld My body vnto lust vntill the Priest Shall ioyne us in Hymens sacred nuptiall rites Spend. Then set your hand to this nay 't is a contract Strong and sufficient and will holde in Lawe Heere heere 's pen and incke you see I come prouided Wid. Giue me the penne Spend. Why here 's some comfort Yet write your name faire I pray And at large why now 't is very well Now widdow you may admit your Maid For i' th next roome I 'le goe fetch a nappe Wid. Thou shalt not leaue me so come pre thee sit Wee 'l talke a while for thou hast made my heart Dance in my bosome I receiue such ioy Spend. Thou art a good wench yfaith come kisse vpon 't Wid. But will you be a louing husband to me Auoyde all naughty company and be true To me and to my bedde Spend. As true to thee as Steele to Adamant Binde him to the poas Wid. I 'le binde you to your word see that you be Or I 'le conceale my bagges I haue kins folkes To whom I 'le mak 't ouer you shall not haue a penny Spend. Push pre thee doe not doubt me How now what meanes this Wid. It means my vengeance nay sir you are fast Nor doe not dare to struggle I haue libertie Both of my tongue and feet I 'le call my maid Phillis come in and helpe to triumph Enter Phillis Ouer this bolde Intruder wonder not wench But goe vnto him and ransacke all his pockets And take from thence a Contract which he forc'd From my vnwilling fingers Spend. Is this according to your oath Phillis Come sir I must search you Spend. I pre thee do And when thou tak'st that from me take my life too Wid. Hast thou it gerle Phill. I haue a paper heere Wid. It is the same giue it me looke you sir Thus your new fancied hopes I teare asunder Poore wretched man t' hast had a golden dreame Which guilded o're thy calamitie
man to come better vpon his q let vs withdraw Rash Close close for the prosecution of the plot wench See he prepares Ioyce Silence Gerald. The Sunne is yet wrapt in Auroraes armes And lull'd with her delight forgets his creatures Awake thou god of heate I call thee vp and taske thee for thy slownesse Poynt all thy beames through yonder flaring glasse And raise a beauty brighter then thy selfe Musicke Musitions giue to each Instrument a tongue To breathe sweete musicke in the eares of her To whom I send it as a messenger Enter Gartred aloft Gart. Sir your musicke is so good that I must say I like it but the Bringer so ill welcome that I could be content to loose it if you plaid for mony there 't is if for loue heere 's none if for goodwill I thanke you and when you will you may be gone Ger. Leaue me not intranc'd sing not my death Thy voyce is able to make Satires tame And call rough windes to her obedience Gart. Sir sir our eares itch not for flattery heere you besiege my window that I dare not put forth my selfe to take the gentle Ayre but you are in the fieldes and volley out your woes your plaints your loues your iniuries Ger. Since you haue heard and know them giue redresse True beauty neuer yet was mercilesse Gart. Sir rest thus satisfied my minde was neuer woman neuer alter'd nor shall it now beginne So fare you well Exis Gart. Rash Sfoot she playes the terrible tyrannizing Tamberlaine ouer him this it is to turne Turke from a most absolute compleate Gentleman to a most absurd ridiculous and fond louer Long. Oh when a woman knowes the power and authoritie of her eie Ioyce Fie vpon her shee 's good for nothing then no more then a iade that knowes his owne strength The windowe is clasped now brother pursue your proiect and deliuer your friend from the tyranny of my domineering sister Rash Doe you heare you drunkard in loue come in to vs and be ruled you would little thinke that the wench that talked so scuruily out of the window there is more inamored on thee then thou on her nay looke you now see if hee turne not away slighting our good councell I am no Christian if shee doe not sigh whine and grow sicke for thee looke you sir I will bring you in good witnesse against her Ioyce Sir y' are my brothers friend and I 'le be plaine with you you doe not take the course to winne my sister but indirectly goe about the bush you come and fiddle heere and keepe a coile in verse holde off your hatte and beg to kisse her hand which makes her prowd But to bee short in two lines thus it is Who most doth loue must seeme most to neglect it For those that shew most loue are least respected Long. A good obseruation by my faith Rash Well this instruction comes too late now Stand you close and let me prosecute my inuention Sister O sister wake arise sister Enter Gartred aboue Gart. How now brother why call you with such terrour Rash How can you sleepe so sound and heare such groanes So horride and so tedious to the eare That I was frighted hither by the sound O sister heere lies a Gentleman that lou'd you too deerely And himselfe too ill as by his death appeares I can report no further without teares Assist me now Long. When he came first death startled in his eyes His hand had not forsooke the dagger hilt But still he gaue it strength as if he feard He had not sent it home vnto his heart Gart. Enough enough If you will haue me liue giue him no name Suspition tells me 't is my Geraldine But be it whom it will I 'le come to him To suffer death as resolute as he Exit Gart. Rash Did not I tell you 't would take downe sir downe Ger. I ghesse what y 'ould haue me doe Long. O for a little bloud to besprinckle him Rash No matter for blood I 'le not suffer her to come neare him till the plot haue tane his full height Ger. A scarffe ore my face left I betray my selfe Enter Gartred belowe Rash Heere heere lie still she comes Now Mercurie be propitious Gart. Where lies this spectacle of blood This tragicke Sceane Rash Yonder lies Geraldine Gart. O let me see him with his face of death Why doe you stay me from my Geraldine Rash Because vnworthy as thou art thou shalt not see The man now dead whom liuing thou didst scorne The worst part that he had deseru'd thy best But yet contemn'd deluded mock'd despisde by you Vnfit for aught but for the generall marke Which you were made for mans creation Gart. Burst not my heart before I see my Loue Brother vpon my knees I begge your leaue That I may see the wound of Geraldine I will embalme his body with my teares And carry him vnto his sepulcher From whence I 'le neuer rise but be interr'd In the same dust he shall be buried in Long. I doe protest shee drawes sad teares from me I pre thee let her see her Geraldine Gart. Brother if e're you lou'd me as a sister Depriue me not the sight of Geraldine Rash Well I am contented you shall touch his lippes But neither see his face nor yet his wound Gart. Not see his face Rash Nay I haue sworne it to the contrary Nay harke you further yet Gart. What now Rash But one kisse no more Gart. Why then no more Rash Marry this liberty I 'le giue you If you intend to make my speach of repentance Ouer him I am content so it be short Gart. What you command is Law and I obey Ioyce Peace giue eare to the passion Gart. Before I touch thy body I implore Thy discontented ghost to be appeasde Send not vnto me till I come my selfe Then shalt thou know how much I honor'd thee O see the colour of his corall lippe Which in despight of death liues full and fresh As when he was the beauty of his Sex T' were sinne worthy the worst of plagues to leaue thee Not all the strength and pollicie of man Shall snatch me from thy bosome Long. Looke looke I thinke shee 'l rauish him Rash Why how now sister Gart. Shall we haue both one graue here I am chain'd Thunder nor Earthquakes shall shake me off Rash No I 'le try that come dead man awake vp with your bag and baggage and let 's haue no more fooling Gart. And liue's my Geraldine Rash Liue faith I Why should he not he was neuer dead That I know on Ger. It is no wonder Geraldine should liue Tho he had emptied all his vitall spirites The Lute of Orpheus spake not halfe so sweete When he descended to th' infernall vaults To fetch againe his faire Euridice As did thy sweete voyce to Geraldine Gart. I 'le exercise that voyce since it doth please My better selfe my constant Geraldine Ioyce Why so
oyster surely I was begotten in a Plumb-tree I ha such a deale of gumme about mine eies Enter Seruant Lyon Lord how you stand I am asham'd to see The Sunne should be a witnesse of your slouth Now sir your haste Bask. Marry sir there are guests comming to accompany you to church Ly. Why this is excellent men whom it not concerns Are more respectiue then we that are maine Actors Bub. Father Rash be not so outrageous we will goe in and buckle our selues all in good time how now what 's this about my shinnes Enter old Geraldine and Long-field Scatt. Me thought our shankes were not fellowes we haue metamorphosed our stockings for want of splendor Exit Bub. Pray what 's that Splendor Scatt. Why 't is the Latin word for a Christmasse candle Lyon O Gentlemen you loue you honour mee welcome welcome good Master Geraldine you haue taken paines To accompany an vndeseruing friend Enter Phillis Old Ger. You put vs to a needelesse labour sir To runne and winde about for circumstance When the plaine word I thanke you would haue seru'd Lyon How now wench are the females ready yet The time comes on vpon vs and we runne backeward We are so vntoward in our busines We thinke not what we haue to doe nor what we doe Phill. I know not sir whether they know what to doe but I am sure they haue beene at Church well-nie an houre they were afraid you had got the start of them which made them make such haste Lyon I' st possible what thinke you Gentlemen Are not these wenches forward is there not vertue in a man can make yong Virgins leaue their beddes so soone But is the widdow gone along with them Phill. Yes sir why she was the ring-leader Lyo. I thought as much for she knowes what belong's to 't Come Gentlemen me thinkes 't is sport to see Yong wenches run to church before their husbands En. Rash Faith we shall make them blush for this ere night A sirra are you come why that 's well said I marl'd indeede that all things were so quiet Which made me thinke th 'ad not vnwrapt their sheets Enter Seruant with a cloake And then were they at Church I holde my life Maides thinke it long vntil ech be made a wife Enter Spend Sta. Geraldine Widdow Gartred and Ioyce Hast thou my cloake knaue well said put it on Wee 'l after them let me goe hasten both Both the Bridegroomes forward wee 'l walke a little Softly on afore but see see if they be not come To fetch vs now we come we come Bid them returne and saue themselues this labour Rash Now haue I a quartane ague vpon me Lyonell Why how now why come you from Church to kneele thus publikely what 's the matter Ger. We kneele sir for your blessing Lyon How my blessing Master Geraldine is not that your sonne Old Ger. Yes sir and that I take it is your daughter Lyon I suspect knauery what are you Why doe you kneele hand in hand with her Sta. For a fatherly blessing too sir Lyon Hoy day 't is palpable I am gull'd and my sonne Scatter-good and Bubble fool'd you are married Spend. Yes sir we are married Lyon More villanie euery thing goes the wrong way Spend. We shall goe the right way anone I hope Lyon Yes marry shall you you shall eene to the Counter againe and that 's the right way for you Wid. O you are wrong The prison that shall hold him are these armes Lyon I doe feare that I shall turne stinckard I do smell such a matter you are married then Enter Scatter-good and Bubble Spend. Ecee signum heere 's the wedding Ring t' affirme it Lyon I beleeue the knaue has druncke Ipocras He is so pleasant Scat. God morrow Gentlemen Bub. Tu quoque to all what shall we goe to Church Come I long to be about this geare Lyon Doe you heare me will you two goe sleepe againe take out the tother nap for you are both made Cockescombes and so am I Scatt. How Cockes-combes Lyon Yea Cockes-combes Scatt. Father that word Cockes-comb goes against my stomacke Bub. And against mine a man might ha digested a Woodcocke better Lyon You two come now to goe to church to be married And they two come from Church and are married Bub. How married I would see that man durst marry her Ger. Why sir what would you doe Bub. Why sir I would forbid the banes Scatt. And so would I Lyon Doe you know that youth in Sattin hee 's the penner that belongs to that Inck-horne Bub. How let me see are not you my man Geruase Scat. Yes sir Enter a Sergeant Bub. And haue you married her Scat. Yes sir Bub. And doe you thinke you haue vsde me well Scat. Yes sir Bub. O intollerable rascall I will presently be made a Iustice of Peace and haue thee whipp'd goe fetch a Constable Scat. Come y' are a flourishing Asse Sergeant take him to thee he has had a long time of his pageantry Lyon Sirra let him goe I 'le be his baile for all debts which come against him Scat. Reuerend sir to whom I owe the duty of a sonne Which I shall euer pay in my obedience Know that which made him gracious in your eyes And guilded ouer his imperfections Is wasted and consumed euen like ice Which by the vehemence of heate dissolues And glides to many riuers so his wealth That felt a prodigall hand hote in expence Melted within his gripe and from his coffers Ranne like a violent streame to other mens What was my owne I catch'd at Lyon Haue you your morgage in Scat. Yes sir Lyon Stand vp the matter is well amended Master Geraldine you giue sufferance to this match Old Ger. Yes marry doe I sir for since they loue I 'le not haue the crime lie on my head To diuide man and wife Lyon Why you say well my blessing fall vpon you Wid. And vpon vs that loue sir Lyonell Lyon By my troth since thou hast tane the yong knaue God giue thee ioy of him and may he proue A wiser man then his Master Sta Sergeant why dost not carry him to prison Serg. Sir Lyonell Rash will baile him Lyon I baile him knaue wherefore should I baile him No carry him away I 'le relieue no prodigalls Bub. Good sir Lyonell I beseech you sir Gentlemen I pray make a purse for me Serg. Come sir come are you begging Bub. Why that does you no harme Geruase master I should say some compassion Sta. Sergeants come backe with him looke sir heere is your liuery If you can put off all your former pride And put on this with that humilitie That you first wore it I will pay your debts Free you of all incombrances And take you againe into my seruice Bub. Tenter-hooke let mee goe I will take his worships offer without wages rather then come into your clutches againe a man in a blew coate may haue some colour for his knauery in the Counter he can haue none Lyon But now M. Scatter-good what say you to this Scat. Marry I say 't is scarce honest dealing for any man to Conny-catch another mans wife I protest wee 'l not put it vp Sta. No which we Scatt. Why Gartred and I Sta. Gartred why shee 'l put it vp Scatt. Will she Ger. I that she will and so must you Scatt. Must I Ger. Yes that you must Scatt. Well if I must I must but I protest I would not But that I must So vale vale Et tu quoque Exit Lyon Why that 's well said Then I perceiue we shall wind vp all wrong Come Gentlemen and all our other guests Let our well-temper'd bloods taste Bacchus feasts But let vs know first how these sports delight And to these Gentlemen each bid good night Rash Gentles I hope that well my labor ends All that I did was but to please my friends Ger. A kind enamouret I did striue so proue But now I leaue that and pursue your loue Gart. My part I haue performed with the rest And though I haue not yet I would doe best Sta. That I haue cheated through the Play 't is true But yet I hope I haue not cheated you Ioyce If with my clamors I haue done you wrong Euer hereafter I will hold my tongue Spend. If through my riot I haue offensiue beene Henceforth I le play the ciuil Citizen Wid. Faith all that I say is how ere it happe Widdowes like Maids sometimes may catch a clappe Bub. To mirth and laughter henceforth I 'le prouoke ye If you but please to like of Greenes Tu quoque FINIS
Pewterer Ioy. Very good Sir Bub. Doo doo doo Ioy. What doe they doo Bub. By my troth Lady I doe not know for to say truth I am a kind of an Asse Ioy. How Sir an Asse Bub. Yes indeed Lady Ioy. Nay that you are not Bub. So God ha mee I am Lady you neuer saw an arranter Asse in your life Ioy. Why heer 's a Gentleman your friend will not say so Bub. Y fayth but he shall How say you sir Am not I an Asse Scatt. Yes by my troth Lady is he Why I le say any thing my brother Bubble sayes Gart. Is this the man my Father choose for mee to make a Husband of O God how blind are parents in our loues so they haue wealth they care not to what thinges they marry vs Bub. Pray looke vpon mee Lady Ioy. So I doe sir Bub. I but looke vpon mee well and tell mee if you euer saw any man looke so scuruily as I doe Ioy. The fellow sure is frantique Bub. You doe not marke mee Ioy. Yes indeed sir Bub. I but looke vpon mee well Did you euer see a worse timberd Legge Ioy. By my fayth t is a pretty foure square Legge Bub. I but your foure square Legges are none of the best Oh! Iaruis Iaruis Sta. Excellent well sir Bub. What say you now to mee Lady can you find ere a good inch about mee Ioy. Yes that I can sir Bub. Find it and take it sweete Lady There I thinke I bobd her Iaruis Ioy. Well sir disparadge not your selfe so for if you were The man you 'd make your selfe yet out of your Behauiour and discourse I could find cause enough To loue you Bub. Augh now shee comes to mee My behauiour alas alas t is clownicall and my discourse is very bald bald You shall not heare mee breake a good Ieast in a twelue month Ioy. No sir why now you breake a good Ieast Bub. No I want the Boone Ioure and the Tu quoques Which yonder Gentleman has Ther 's a bob for him too There 's a Gentleman and you talke of a Gentleman Ioy. Who hee hee 's a Coxcombe indeed Bub. We are sworne Brothers in good fayth Lady Enter Seruant Scatt. Yes in truth wee are sworne Brothers and do meane to goe both alike and to haue Horses alike Ioy. And they shall be sworne Brothers too Scatt. If it please them Lady Ser. M. Ballance the Gold smith desires to speake with you Lyo. Bid him come knaue Scatt. I woonder Sir Lyonell your sonne Will Rash is not heere Lyo. Is hee of your acquaintance sir Scatt. O very familiar hee strooke mee a boxe on the eare once and from thence grew my loue to him Enter Ballance Lyo. It was a signe of vertue in you sir but hee le be heere at dinner Maister Ballance what makes you so strange Come you 're welcome what 's the Newes Balla. Why sir the old Newes your man Francis royots still And little hope of thrift there is in him Therefore I come to aduise your Worship To take some order whilst there 's something left The better part of his best Ware 's consumd Lyo. Speake softly Maister Ballance But is there no hope of his recouerie Ball. None at all sir for hee s already layd to be arested by some that I know Lyo. Well I doe suffer for him and am loath Indeed to doe what I am constraind to doe Well sir I meane to ceaze on what is left And harke you one word more Ioy. What haynous sinne has yonder man committed To haue so great a punishment as waite vpon the humors of an idle Foole A very proper Fellow good Legge good Face A Body well proportiond but his minde Bewrayes he neuer came of Generous kinde Enter Will Rash and Geraldine Lyo. Goe to no more of this at this time What sir are you come Rash Yes sir and haue made bold to bring a Guift along Lyo. Maister Geraldines sonne of Essex Ger. The same sir Lyo Ye 're welcom sir when wil your Father be in towne Ger. T' will not be long sir Lyo. I shall be glad to see him when he coms Ger. I thanke you sir Lyo. In the meane time you 're welcome pray be not strange I le leaue my Sonne amongst you Gentlemen I haue some busines harke you M. Ballance Dinner will soone be readie one word more Exit Lyo Bal. Rash And how does my little Asinus and his Tu quoque here Oh you pretty sweet-fac'd rogues that for your countenances might be Alexander and Lodwicke What sayes the old man to you wil 't be a match shall wee call Brothers Scatt. I fayth with all my heart if Mistris Gartred will wee will be married to morrow Bub. S'fott if Mistris Ioyce will wee 'le be married to night Rash Why you couragious Boyes and worthy Wenches made out of Waxe But what shall 's doe when wee haue dinde shall 's goe see a Play Scatt. Yes fayth Brother if it please you let 's goe see a Play at the Gloabe Bub. I care not any whither so the Clowne haue a part For Ifayth I am no body without a Foole Ger. Why then wee 'le goe to the Red Bull they say Green 's a good Clowne Bub. Greene Greene's an Asse Scatt. Wherefore doe you say so Bub. Indeed I ha no reason for they say hee is as like mee as euer hee can looke Scatt. Well then to the Bull Rash A good resolution continue it nay on Bub. Not before the Gentlewomen not I neuer Rash O while you liue men before women Custome hath plac'd it so Bub. Why then Custome is not so mannerly as I would be Rash Farewell M. Scatter-good Come Louer you 're too busie heere I must tutor yee Cast not your eye at the table on each other my Father will spie you without Spectacles Hee is a shrewd obseruer doe you heare mee Ger. Very well sir Rash Come then go wee togeather let the Wenches alone Doe you see yonder fellow Ger. Yes prethee what is hee Rash I le giue you him within he must not now be thought on but you shall know him Exit Rash Gerald Gart. I haue obseru'd my sister and her eye Is much inquisitiue after yond fellow Shee has examin'd him from head to foot I le stay and see the issue Ioy. To wrastle gainst the streame of our Affection Is to strike Ayre or buffet with the Winde That playes vpon vs I haue striu'd to cast This fellow from my thoughts but still he growes More comely in my sight yet a slaue Vnto one worse condition'd then a Slaue They are all gone heer 's none but hee and I Now I will speake to him and yet I will not Oh! I wrong my selfe I will suppresse That insurrection Loue hath traind in mee And leaue him as he is once my bold spirits Had vowed to vtter all my thoughts to him On whom I setled my affection And why retyres it now Sta. Fight Loue on both sides for on
mee thou strik'st Strokes that hath beat my heart into a flame She hath sent amorous glaunses from her eye Which I haue backe returnd as faythfully I would make to her but these seruile Roabes Curbes that suggestion till some fitter time Shall bring mee more perswadingly vnto her Ioy. I wonder why he stayes I feare hee notes mee For I haue publiquely betrayde my selfe By too much gazing on him I will leaue him Gart. But you shall not I le make you speake to him Before you goe Doe you heare sir Ioy. What meane you sister Gart. To fit you in your kind sister doe you remember How you once tyranizd ouer mee Ioy. Nay prethee leaue this iesting I am out of the vaine Gart. I but I am in goe speake to your Louer Ioy. I le first be buried quicke Gart. How ashamd S'fott Itro if I had set my affection on a Collier I de nere fall backe vnlesse it were in the right kind if I did let mee be tyed to a Stake and burnt to death with Charcoale Ioy. Nay then wee shall hate Gart. Yes marry shall you Sister will you speake to him Ioy. No Gart. Doe you heare sir heer 's a Gentlewoman would speake with you Ioy. Why Sister I pray Sister Gart One that loues you with all her heart Yet is ashamd to confesse it Sta. Did you call Ladyes Ioy. No sir heer 's no one cald Gart. Yes sir t was I I cald to speake with you Ioy. My Sister 's somewhat frantique there 's no regard to be had vnto her clamors Will you yet leaue In fayth you 'le anger mee Gart. Passion Come backe foole louer turne againe and kisse your belly full heer 's one will stand yee Sta. What does this meane troe Ioy. Yes is your humor spent Gart. Come let me goe Birds that want the vse of Reason and of Speech can couple together in one day And yet you that haue both cannot conclude in twentie now Sister I am euen with you my venome is spit As much happinesse may you enjoy with your louer as I with mine And droope not wench not neuer be ashamd of him The man will serue the turne though he be wrapt In a blew Coate I le warrant him come Joy You 're merely disposed Sister Exit Wenches Sta. I needs must prosper Fortune Loue worke for mee Be moderate my Ioyes for as you grow to your full height So Bubbles waxeth low Exit Enter Spendall Sweatman and Tickleman Tick. Will my sweete Spendall be gone then Spend. I must vpon promise but I le be heere at supper Therefore Mistris Sweatman provide vs some good cheare Sweat The best the Market will yeeld Spend. Heer 's twentie shillings I protest I haue left my selfe but a Crowne for my spending mony for indeed I intend to be frugall and turne good husband Tick. I marry will you you 'le to play againe loose your Monie and fall to fighting my very heart trembles to thinke on it how if you had been kild in the quarrell of my fayth I had been but a dead woman Spen. Come come no more of this thou dost but dissemble Tick. Dissemble do not you say so for if you doe God 's my iudge I le giue my selfe a gash Spend. Away away prethee no more farewell Tick. Nay busse first Well There 's no aduersitie in the world shall part vs Enter Sergiants Spend. Thou art a louing Rascall farewell Sweat You will not fayle supper Spend. You haue my word farewell 1. Ser. Sir wee arrest you Spend. Arrest mee at whose suite 2. Ser. Marry there 's suites enough against you I le warrant you 1. Ser. Come away with him Spend. Stay heare mee a word 2. Ser. What doe you say Enter Purssuet Tick. How now Purssuet why com'st in such haste Purss. Shut vp your doores and barre young Spendall out And let him be cashieard your companie He is turnd Banquerout his wares are ceazd on And his shop shut vp Tick. How his wares ceazd on thou dost but iest I hope Purss. What this tongue doth report these eyes haue seene It is no Aesops fable that I tell But it is true as I am faythfull Pander Sweat Nay I did euer thinke the prodigall would proue A Banquerout but hang him let him rott In prison he comes no more within these doores I warrant him Tick. Come hither I would he would but offer it Wee le fier him out with a pox to him Spend. Will you doe it To carrie me to prison but vndoes me 1. Sar. What say you fellow Gripe shall we take his 40. shillings 2. Sar. Yes fayth we shall haue him againe within this weeke 1. Sar. Well Sir your 40 shillings and wee le haue some compassion on you Spend. Will you but walke with me vnto that house And there you shall receaue it Sar. What where the women are Spend. Yes sir Sweat. Looke yonder if the vngratious rascall be not comming hither Betwixt two Sargiantes he thinkes belike That wee le relieue him let vs goe in And clap the doores against him Purss. It is the best course Mistres Tickleman Tick But I say no you shall not stirre a foote For I will talke with him Spend. Nan I am come Euen in the Minute that thou didst professe Kindnesse vnto mee to make tryall of it Aduersitie thou Sees layes hands vpon mee But Fortie-shillings will deliuer mee Tick. Why you Impudent Rogue do you come to me for Mony Or do I know you what acquaintance pray Hath euer past betwixt your selfe and mee Sar. Zounds do you mocke vs to bring vs to these women that do not know you Sweat Yes in good Sooth Officers I take 't you 're Hee 's a meere stranger heere onely in charitie Sometimes we haue reliued him with a meale Spend. This is not earnest in you Come I know My guistes and bountie cannot be soone buried Goe prethee fetch Fourtie shillings Tick. Talke not to mee you slaue of Fourtie shillings For by this light that shines aske it againe I le send my Knife of an earrand in your Guttes A shamelesse Roge to come to mee for Money Sweat Is he your Prisoner Gentlemen Sar. Yes marry is hee Sweat Pray carry him then to Prison let him smart for 't Perhaps t will tame the wildnesse of his youth And teach him how to lead a better life Hee had good counsell heere I can assure you And if a would a tooke it Purss. I told him still my selfe what would insew Spend. Furies breake loose in mee Sargeants let me goe I le giue you all I haue to purchase freedome but for a lightning while to teare yond Whore Baud Pander and in them the Diuell for there 's his Hell his habitation nor has hee any other locall place Takes Spendals Cloake Sar. No sir wee le take no Bribes Spend. Honest Sargeants give me leaue to vnlade A heart ore-chargd with griefe as I haue a soule I le not breake from you Thou