favour to tremble at thy frown to submit to thy rod to think nothing too dear to part withall to purchase thy grace to promote thy glory Thou O Lord lovest not a cowardly Christian if I prefer any thing to thy love I am most unworthy of it that friendship is too dearly bought which cannot be enjoyed without the loss of thy favour If my brother offend me I will labour to restore him with the spirit of meekness lest whilst I study to rebuke another I become guilty my self No sin shal pass me without some shew of distast without some feeling of my Makers injury and my brothers misery If I be not moved with compassion for anothers sin I shall never be moved with contrition for mine own such comfort as I can willingly afford another I may well hope shall be graciously conferred on my self In my reproof of sin I will observe these holy cautions lest while I endeavour to become serviceable unto thee I prove injurious to my neighbour Private sins shall not have publique reprehensions neither shall publique sins be undecently reproved by me a private person Piety must not confound Charity nor Religion Policy Lord I may easily transgress even in my best intentions how grievously have I then failed in my rebellious actions when I have not feared thee with that sincerity of heart which becometh thy child when I have not loved thee for that beauty for that richness for that goodness which thou art but for those outward blessings which I enjoy from thee when I serve thee for base and by respects such and so unbeseeming my profession so far below that soul which thou hast given me that thou mayst justly now withhold thy blessings from me when I have hitherto sought but my self in thee when my thoughts have been carnall my words hypocriticall my service deceitfull To thy glory Lord and mine own deserved shame I willingly confess that I have not only sinned through the frailty of my nature but I have sinned allso with an high hand sin hath not onely surprised me at unawares but I have obeyed it in the lusts thereof with willingness with greediness with joyfulness I have not onely corrupted mine own wayes before thee by mine own sins but I have allso foolishly contracted others faults by hearing and seeing thee my God dishonored in vain and sinfull discourse in more vain and sinfull excess without shew of dislike without thought of reproof yea Lord I have added unto others sins by mine example while I have feared to reprove that which I have known to be distastfull unto thee while I have seemed to love that which hath been hatefull to mine own soul With those time-pleasing Rulers in the Gospel I have believed in thee but because of the Pharisees because of outward respects I have feared to confess thee and have loved the praise of men more than the praise of God But thou Lord who art infinitely good and ever ready to forgive whose wise and over ruling Providence is only able to produce the greatest good out of the greatest evill Pardon and pass by my many and my weak compliances of sinfuâ—l nature supply my defects accept my desires incourage my endeavours Let thy power be magnified in my weakness thy love in my willfulness thy grace in my sinfulness Suffer me not O Lord to run from thee by a base and servile fear of thy Justice O let me rather run into the bosom of thy love by a filiall fear in sweet and safe assurance of thy mercy Lord make me to see the fearfulness and ugliness of sin by the bright rayes of thy celestiall beauty O let me patiently and joyfully and thankfully endure thy sweet chastisements for it and speedily and constantly withdraw my longings from it Give me an yearning and relenting soul for grieving thy good Spirit give me O Lord that chast and blessed fear belonging onely to thy children that I may not fear thee to tremble at thee but to love thee to honor thee to delight in thee to enjoy thee Lord make me jealous of every deed of every word of every thought that may displease thee and truly penitent for all those sins by which I have so much dishonoured thee Indue me with a loyall heart to love thee truly as I ought strengthen this love with holy confidence and happy perseverance that may for ever hanish this unholy fear that so my joyfull soul may live above the reach of humane misery that I may be capable of no fear but of offending thee and that I may not onely fear thee my self but be jealous allso of thy fear in others Lord let nothing in this life withdraw me from a zealous and a constant love to thy service from a faithfull and devout indeavour to promote thy glory that so I may be ever found truly obedient unto thee my God religiously acquainted with the affairs of this life piously affected to the good of mine own soul Amen CHAP. 22. Upon the great neglect of reckoning daily with our consciences and the benefits lost thereby COnsider O my soul how venomous the nature of sin is if thou canst afford to sleep in small sins thou wilt not stick to welcom greater Sin is of an incroaching nature if thou suffer it to sleep in thy bosom it will expect to dwell there Little sins are harbingers to bigger ones if thou lodgest these those will challenge entertainment Let each evening therefore take a strict accompt of that daies action and where thou findest thy self failing pray heartily for pardon In thine entrance upon this holy course thou wilt surely find three potent oppositions Satan will tell thee that God requireth no such strictness at thy hands the World will tell thee thou hast this or that employment to consider of thine own Corruption will perswade thee that nature will abhor this discontented course that thy spirits will be too much dulled and thy life will prove uncomfortable Alass my soul these are delusions to betray thee to a greater mischief As there are degrees of Sanctification so there are of Pollution no man becometh evill in an instant from hence it is that sometimes the soul can start even at the very thought of that sin which by degrees it can digest without disturbance If holy David had accounted with his conscience after his lustfull looks on Bathsheba doubtless those fearfull sins of his had never been committed O let not any vain pretences deter thee from this task but the blessed benefits allure thee if the entrance be harsh the progress will be safe the continuance sweet the end happy By this enquiry thou shalt see thy sins those great disturbers of thy pâ—ace arraigned convicted condemned and by the mercy of thy Saviour dayly dying in thee Satan repulsed the gifts and graces of Gods holy Spirit strengthened thy mournings comforted thine infirmities susteined thy conscience quitted thy rejoycings exalted the holy Angels delighted and thy heavenly Father well
therefore for if thy faith be weak yet it is living if it be languishing it will assuredly recover more strength if there be blossomes now there will be fruit hereafter these happy beginnings will have gratious proceedings blessed câ—dings Consider what thy God hath promised by his holy Prophet I will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax Isay 42.3 Let not the smarting therefore of thy conscience trouble thee remember who it is that searcheth it I have wounded thee saith God and I will heal thee I have broken thee and I will bind thee up Thou art therefore wounded that thou mayst be healed thou art therefore broken that thou mayst be bound up That sore which is insensible is ever most dangerous and that wound which smarteth most is most capable of remedy Blessed Lord I now feel to mine unspeakable comfort that thou hast wounded me with the terrours of thy Law that thou mayst heal me with the comforts of thy Gospell that I am therefore bruised with the burden of my sins that I may be ever eased by the merits of my Saviours sufferings all my imperfections are his all his righteousness is mine I may boldly chalenge it thou wilt not deny it I may safely plead it thou canst not refuse it Consider yet further O my Soul what thy blessed Saviour saith unto thee I am the resurrection and the life he that believeth in me though he were dead yet shall be live and whosever liveth and believeth in me shall never dye Ioh. 11.25 26. How canst thou doubt now O my Soul when thy Saviour biddeth thee believe and live what canst thou fear when thou hast his promise for thy safety Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one tittle of his Word shall fail Let not the number of thy sins affright thee for it is his bloud which clenseth us from all iniquity 1 Ioh. 1.7 9. Let not the nature of thy sins amaze thee for though they were red as scarlet yet he will make them white as snow Let not the long continuance of them stagger thee for At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sins from the bottome of his heart I will blot them out of my remembrance saith the Lord Ezech. 18. Thy Coâ—â—cience shall not trouble thee for Being justified by faith we have peace with God Rom. 5.1 The Devill cannot hurt thee for Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Gods elect it is God that justifieth who is he that condemneth it is Christ that died yea rather that is risen again who is even at the right hand of God who allso maketh intercession for us Rom. 8.32 33. Nay which is the sum of all God himself in Iustice cannot condemn thee for There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit Rom. 8.1 his lustice is satisfied his Mercy magnified his Name be for ever glorified Lord let this teach me to rely with comfort on thy blessed promises and to walk worchy of them in my religious performances to manifest my increase of grace by my increase of goodness to fix my heart wholly upon thee to love thee to fear thee to honour thee and assuredly to rest in thee when thy grace shall enable me to delight in thy fear my sins can never perswade me to despair of thy favour my peace will be then inviolable my joy unutterable my happiness unalterable Blessed Lord God When I consider of the wretchedness of mine own corruptions in nature I am even ready to despair of thy love But when I look upon the blessedness of my condition in Christ I am then encouraged to sue to thee for mercy and forgiveness Allthough thy justice be severe against ane as I am a grievous sinner yet thy mercy is most sweet unto me in my Saviour I now tremble at thy judgements yet I rejoyce in thy promises allthough thy Law speak never so terribly thy curses be never so many thy plagues be never so grievous thy wrath never so tempestuous yet in the sweet mercy of my Saviour I am able to abide them all O Lord my God I abhor my self I accuse my self I condemn my self I am now ready with thy wrath to seize upon my sinfull soul and cast it down to everlasting misery Lord unto thee onely I appeal for mercy and forgiveness sweet Jesus accept of me and interpose thy blessed merits for me inrich my soul with thy sufferings be ever present with me and eternall comfort to me O holy and for ever blesssed Spirit thou that sanclifiest the souls of thine Elect assist and strengthen me quicken and revive my drooping saith increase my hope cherish my love foment those dying sparks by the sweet breathings of thy blessed Spirit that they may zealously break forth into a pure and fervent flame of holy affections to thy great glory and mine own eternall happiness Amen CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer Lord WHen I serionsly consider how manifold and great my failings are when I think of the shortness and uncertainty of life of the solemnity of death of the eternity of happiness or misery after death and by all these of the necessity usefulness and excellency of Prayer I may well wonder that I am ever from my knees My life is all sin and had therefore need to be all sorrow the greatness and continuance of my sins have added to the greatness and continuance of my misery and there is none but thou O Lord that can relieve me there is no coming to thee but by Prayer and no Prayer powerfull with thee but that which is fervent This is â—hat eye of my affection that woundeth the heart of thy compassion this is that holy violence that taketh Heaven by force that surpriseth thy Mercy that manicles thy Justice that wrestles with thy Love and will not let thee goe without a blessing This is my strong armour to defend me my daily food to sustein me my safe repose to refresh me my sweet content for ever to delight me Blessed Lord how wonderfull is thy desire to man how graciously doest thou provide for him how daily art thou mindfull of him Thy words instruct me thy promises allure me thy graces sustein me thy sacraments strengthen me thy visits comfort me thy embraces ravish me And as if all this were not yet enough to manifest thy favour towards me so unspeakable is thy love so earnest thy desires unto me that thou hast even given me thy self to be overcome by me Lord thou art all love when I strive with thee for mercy I overcome thee by thy self how great is thy goodness how tender are thy mercies unto man for whose sake thou contendest even with thine own Essence Thou hast given thy Son to die for me and in him thy self to be overcome by me Lord let this teach me to renew my acquaintance often with thee to
towards me I am much grieved at the coldness and the carelesness of my affections towards thine each object of charity is an opportunity of mercy If I neglect it I am unkind to thee my Saviour cruel to my neigbour injurious to mine own soul I am not â—ord but Steward of thine outward blessings and it were now just with thee to call me to a strict account If any of thy Saints suffer which thou sendest unto me for relief their sufferings thou wilt surely require at my hands as each cup of cold water which I have given in thy name shall not lose its reward so each farthing which I ow unto thee in thy members will assuredly require its everlasting punishment I have been too carefully solicitous for the things of this life too caresly negligent of the treasures in that to come I have had many wayes to deprive my self of my present comfort of my future happiness when my talent hath been large I have had no leisure when little no ability to works of mercy The present necessities of thy Saints have been daily neglested upon the false pretence of future opportunities and those future opportunities again put off by the dilatory plea of mine own present necessities Thus have I long kept my self in a circulation of self-couzenage and have so lived here as if I were never to go hence and were utterly ignorant for what cause I came hither From whence is this my great neglect of charity towards my brethren but from my greater want of love to thee my God and from whence my disobedience to thy precepts but from mine unbelief of thy promises Thou biddest me Give and hast promised it shall be given unto me good measure shaken together pressed down and running over Luke 6.38 Thou commandest me not to be weary in well doing and hast promised that in due time I shall reap if I faint noâ— Ephes 6.9 If I did beleeve the one I should gladly perform the other and whose word shall I take Lord if I dare to question thine All thy blessed promises are Yea and Amen the begining sweet the end certain as thou hast a bottle for my tears and a bag for my transgressions so thou hast allso a book for mine Alms-deeds Acts 10.4 Not one of them shall be forgotten but even the very least of them shall be â—raciously accepted gloriously rewarded not for my work sake but for thy promise sake no for mine own sake but for my Saviours sake Lord I can merit nothing at thy hands but by thine own mercy And now Lord let me examine What I have gained by my want of charity I have exchanged Heaven to enjoy earth I have parted with thee my Saviour in whom are all the treasures that are true and crernall for the very basest part of earth which is vain and uncertain I have lost those blessed opportunities of doing good which can never be recalled and together with them those rewards of thine which shall never be enjoyed I have offended thee my God grieved thy Saints burdened mine own conscience and been an utter enemy to mine own salvation As my affections have been frozen towards others so have I justly found the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit decaying daily in mine own soul my love cold to thy law mine ears deaf to thy precepts my mouth dumb to thy praises my faith dead to thy promises my hope fainting my zeal languishing my joy perishing These are the sad and sure effects of want of charity the beginning sinfull the progress dangerous the end desperate Lord if those heavenly spirits whose very names import their ardency of love to thy glory are yet found cold enough in thy sight with what horror and confusion of face will those wretched souls appear before thee who have not been so much as lukewarm in thy service By thy grace Lord I will therefore henceforth make a godly improvement of all future opportunities of doing good wharsoever thine allowance is unto me of these outward blessings I will dedicate some due proportion of it unto works of mercy and cheerfully and thankfully trust thee my God with the sustentation of my body upon whose blessed protection I safely relie for the eternall preservation of my soul my heart my hand my tongue mine actions shall be allwaies ready to relieve the necessities to promote the good of thy children and as this happy resolution hath had its beginning from thy grace so shall its aim be wholly at thy glory Blessed Lord Such is thy gratious goodnesse unto thine that thou even preventest them with thy blessings while they call upon thee thou art ready to answer and before they speak unto thee thou art willing to hear Lord I am thy child and am therefore bold to crave a blessing of thee and what is now more suitable to my necessities than the sweet infusion of thy holy Spirit for I now find to my grief of heart that the forein heat of the pleasures and profits of this life have extracted from me the inward heat of my desires and longings for thy blessed presence the adventitious heat of the love of this world hath quite consumed in me the naturall heat of my zeal to thy kingdom Lord kindle in me those decaying sparks of thy grace that they may now grow up into a bright flame of fervent affections to thy glory and thy childrens good Teach me to know that godlinesse is great gain and that the truest treasures are those which are layd up with thee in thy Kingdom Lord pardon my neglects of holy duties forgive my deadnesse and my dulnesse unto works of mercy repair my sinfull breaches by thy present graces O let the fervour of my future charity become a pleasing sacrifise to expiate my former misery to reconcile my soul in Christ to endless mercy Amen CHAP. 37. Upon the deceitfulness of the heart in the performance of holy duties NOthing is more common amongst Christians than to be deluded by the shew of holy actions the heart of man is deceitfull above all things who can know it holy performances are usually accompanied with hellish temptations when the Ship of our soules is under sail and hath the freshest way for heaven we have then most need to look to our steerage to have an eye to the compass and land-marks Which of our holy duties which are the ships we sayl in to the port of happiness have not their rocks to split upon or Remoraes to hinder them or cross winds to divert them or leaks to sink them or seas to overwhelm them when we arrive at any small measure of goodness we many times rest in it and grow secure upon it if grace carry us on farther we are too apt to beleeve that we are far better than our neighbours that we are highly in Gods favour and cannot but deserve his fatherly protection his liberall remuneration and so by this secret insinuation of pride in our hearts wee have
THE SINNER'S TEARS IN MEDITATIONS AND PRAYERS By THO FETTIPLACE Dom Pet Cantab. Mat. 3.2 Repent for the Kingdome of Heaven is at hand LONDON Printed for Humphrey Moseley and are to be sold at his Shop at the Prince's Armes in St. Paul's Church-yard 1653. The SINNERS TEARS By T.F. Iuâ—â—â— Suhitp tâ—â—vâ—scrâ—â—it Paenitentia 16 LONDON 53 Printed for Humphrey Narley at the Princes Armes in St Pauls Churchyard TO THE RIGHT HONORABLE RICHARD Lord Keble one of the Lords Commissioners of the Great Seal of England and the much Honored Mary his truly Virtuous and Religious Lady Grace and Peace My honored Lord I Know not where to find a fitter Patron for tears than your Lordship the constant Series of whose happie daies hath been an exact pattern of true Piety and but one intire Oblation of fincere Devotion Greatness and goodness are the best supporters of decaying Holiness by the one she is defended from suffering ill by the other incouraged in doing well These high and happy Ornaments together with my nearness of blood unto your Honors nearest relation and mine infant education in that gratious Family to which as to the happy instruments I thankfully ascribe my first ingraftings into Christ are strong perswasions to invite me to presume upon your Honors Patronage of this small tract and humbly to present you with a tast of such wholsome fruits as by divine increase have had their growth from those precedent blossoms If ever kneeling were in season now is the needfull time when there is not onely wrath gone out from the Lord against us but even the blood Vialls of his fiercest wrath are daily powred down upon us I willingly confess my self to have been too deep a sharer in those grievous sins which have inforced these heavy judgements what I cannot recall I desire heartily to bewail and as a true signe of mine unfeigned sorrow according to the measure of my weak abilities have penn'd these following lines accept of them I beseech you as humbly devoted to your honors service and read them as the disturbed notions of my distracted meditations That holy Providence which hath directed their ends will I trust supply their defects even this the least of graines by that mercy may become a fruitfull tree and branch it self into matter of commemoration to the learned of instruction to the ignorant of help to the weak of comfort to the willing of joy to the good of terror to the bad of happiness I trust to all that are directed to it and especially unto their soules that stand in greatest need of comfort from it I shall not presume to inlarge my self with wast expressions because I know your Lordships more weightie affairs will not admit of such fruitless indeavours I shall now onely crave your Honors leave to end with Orisons as you have been both holy in your lives so may you be happy in your deaths blessed in your memorialls may those hopefull pledges of your loves be faithfull earnests of your joyes and future branches of the Churches Peace may they all by your examples go on cheerfully and joyfully in those pathes of Piety which lead to rest and quietness that their seed-time being sorrow their harvest may be joy that all tears may be wip'd from their eyes all sorrowes from their hearts This is my honored Lord the most affectionate desire as a kinsman the most zealous as a Christian of The most humble of all your Honors Servants Tho Fettiplace To the Christian Reader All Christian Consolation Reader THe miseries of this distressed age are such and so many that I know well a subject of joy would in the worlds eye appear more seasonable and be far more acceptable after such a deluge of sorrow but that heart which is as truly sensible of the weight of Sin as of the burden of Misery will surely find that there is no true joy but in godly sorrow that there is more complaceney of soul in one repentant tear than in an age of pleasure with grief of heart I confess that much of my little time hath been vainly spent I now therefore willingly resolve to lament my lost houres and shall account it my chiefest happiness on earth to spend my short remainer to my best advantage I beseech thee therefore for thine own sake to consider with mee that God hath-reserved us unto the last the worst the very dreggs of time that our transgressions are innumerable our calamities unmatchable our griefs unutterable that our dayes our houres our minutes perhaps are few and full of evill that it were even now most just with God to bring them to an end that Satans cunning is unsearchable his malice implacable and without divine assistance unresistable that there is no one minute of our whole lives in which we are not exposed unto many great dangers both of souls and bodies and wee shall then find that it behoveth us to watch and pray that it mainly concerneth us to store our selves with such fit remedies as may either inable in the combat or support us in the foil Such humble Confessions and devout Prayers as by Gods mercy I have found agreeable to mine own condition I have here published for the good of thine and such true comfort as I have enjoyed in them I heartily desire may be derived to thee from them And my humble and most earnest petition unto Almightie God is that as wee have been deep sharers in sinning and in suffering so wee may also be devout sharers in sorrowing that the Vialls of our teares may pacisie the Vialls of his wrath that so his fierce anger may be appeased our crying sinns pardoned our bad consciences quieted our bleeding hearts comforted our languishing desires relieved our sad divisions ended our distressed Church restored our dear Country preserved and our sinfull souls and bodies eternally saved With this happy resolution of timely contrition I joyfully imbrace thee and earnestly intreat to be imbraced by thee that by this blessed Union of our souls upon Earth wee may at last enjoy each other in those sweet imbraces of Eternity which is the cordiall desire and shall be the daily and devout prayer of Thy servant in all good affections and hearty well-wishes in Christ Jesus Tho. Fettiplace The Sinners Complaint AH Lord so long what sudden fears What cares and doubts what sighs and teares Since last thou did'st afford thy loving look Have me oprest And rob'd of rest Because thou Lord thy servant hast forsook If not a look yet hear me speak And pittie me O do not break Thy bruised reed why should'st thou strive with man Whose dayes are done When but begun Sith thou great God hast measur'd out his span Amaze me not with fearfull things Give me thy grace O give me wings Of swift desire and holy zeal to raise My soul to skies With powerfull cryes That I may sweetly warble forth thy praise Thou art my Centre fix me there Or move me in thy
not only safety inviolable but peace untterable safety in life and sweetness in death And now Lord when I enquire for what cause thou givest me all this I find nothing but thy meer love unto me when I ask what thou requirest for all this I hear thee demand no thing but the return of love what is more easy what more sweet than love and what object more aimable than that glorious being that is the perfection of al love that love the beauty of al perfection Thou canst not give Lord what thou hast not the glory of thy creation is but a glimps of that grater glory of thine essence Lord who can deny thee Love how sweet is this yoak how light this burden when I love thee I enjoy thee and my self in thee I possess thee I rest in thee for ever O my God all that thou givest mee all that thou requirest of mee is to make mee happy to thee be glory for ever Amen Blessed Lord All this I joyfully confess thou hast done for mee and yet the whole course of my corrupt life hath been nothing elce but a continued Rebellion against thee mine Eyes full of Adultery my tongue of Corrupt communication my hands of oppression mine eares open to iniquity my heart full of hypocricy my feet Lame in thy paths and swift to walk in the wayes of sinners my whole man nothing elce but the very body of death and destruction I have sinned against precepts against promises against mercies against judgments against the checks of mine own conscience and the blessed motions of thy holy Spirit I have even tempted my temptations by making daily and hourely provisions for sin and have been so farr from sorrowing for all this that I have resolved to continue yet still And yet so great is thy compassion towards mee that still thou storest up new mercies for mee Lord I bewail my weakness I lament my willfulness I abhorr my filthiness I heartily desire and earnestly endeavour to unrip my soul to ransack my heart to unlock the very secrets of my thoughts that I may have all my sins continually before mee even in their worst appearances and I may loath them and leave them and obtain thy gratious pardon for them I confesse Lord that I am utterly unworthy to enjoy this blessed light which I have so much abused to thy great dishonour much more the light of Grace by which thou leadest me to that of Glory and that it were more just with thee for ever to deprive me of these happy lights and to expose me to the terrours of eternall darknesse Lord I have finned and cannot chuse but sin I am a great and grievous sinner and yet I am thy child have pity upon me have pity upon me for I am in misery into the bosome of thy tender love I thrust my sinfull soul for safety and protection O let not thy justice triumph in my ruine but thy mercy in my deliverance so shalt thou have the glory and I the sweetnesse of mine eternall happinesse Hear me O Lord and help me for thy name sake for thy promise sake for thy Sons sake Amen CHAP. 3. Vpon the consideration of Divine Providence A Meditation for Noon Blessed God WIthout thy holy providence no creature can subsist by thine Allmighty power they were created out of nothing and if thou shouldst not sustain them they must needs return to nothing how wisely how wonderfully doest thou guide and govern these inferiour creatures All things are at once disposed of by thee and move successively to their appointed ends but above all how gratiously hast thou provided for the good of man what varieties of food how secretly how sweetly disposed it to sustentation No creature can be nourishing without thee and with thee I enjoy not onely nutriment but delectation how sweet is this thy goodnesse to my body how much more sweet thy mercy to my soul and if thy temporall refreshments are so good how ravishing is that celestiall food with which thy Saints and Angels are delighted Lord how undeserving am I of these thy many favours Thou givest rain to the earth and it becometh fruitfull thou loadest me daily with thy blessings and loe I am unthankâ—â—â— even those creatures that are insensible are daily nourisht into augmentation and man alone whom thou hast made to live for ever contents himself with daily diminution This wofully appears by my deadness and dulness in my Christian calling by my back wardness to Holy Duties by my carelesnesse and coldnesse in prayer wearinesse in reading irkomenesse in meditation by my faint Hope sick Faith luke-warm Love frozen Charity lame Patience languishing Zeal and all those other visible decayes of Goodness which are none other than the very symptomes of a dying soul Ah now Lord how miserably deformed must I needs appear in thy fight that am thus ugly in mine own Thou that hadst compassion on me when I was in my blood and then saidst unto me Live that hast washed me clean from sin and pollution and espoused me into thine own bolom wilt thou allso love me in death Wilt thou court me in the grave How justly mightest thou for ever leave me to mine own ruin that can so easily so willingly forsake thee for the pleasures of sin and yet how sweetly how affectionately doest thou order all things for me Even my very sins invite me to a more happy to a nearer Union with thee To thee therefore O my God the life of my life the very being and assured comfort of my sinfull soul and wretched body do I address my self for mercy and forgiveness I confess my self unworthy of thy gracious providence in sustaining this frail and infirm body much more unworthy O Lord of thine unspeakable love in reviving relieving imbracing my deformed soul Blessed Lord who am I of whom thou art thus tenderly compassionate When I was in the womb I was defiled with sin when I came out of it I was covered with shame the World bewitched me the Flesh besotted me the Devill beguiled me Lord when no eye pittied me then thou badst mercy on me and now at last when I am run from thee when I have adulterated my first Love when I am become poor and wretched and miserable and blind and naked thou freely forgivest me thou callest me thy fair one and givest me thy love O my God I admire thy Goodness I deplore and abhor mine own wretchedness O let the sweetness of thy love in Christ inflame the dying sparks of my benummed soul to praise thee without ceasing Expatiatc my narrow thoughts with day'y contemplation of my heavenly home with joyfull expectation of the sweet fruition of Eternity O give me such a blessed raptasie of soul that I may live above the reach of humane misery and reign with thee hereafter in immortall glory CHAP. 4. Upon the consideration of the sinfulness shortness and uncertaintie of life A Meditation suited to the Evening
whole life a very sink of sin and all uncleanness When thy hand hath been heavy upon me I have then promised thee amendment when thy rode hath been taken off from me I have again returned to mine evil courses this plainly sheweth that I have hitherto sought but any self in thee and may therefore justly fear to be forsaken of thee I have been undutiful to thee my God envious and uncharitable to my neighbour hypocritical to the world deceitful to mine own soul My thoughts have been wanton my desires lascivious my actions unclean I have been blind to thy precepts deaf to thy promises dumb in thy praises lame in thy services sick at thine ordinances dead to thy imbraces I have broken all my promises I have slighted all thy threatnings I have abused all thy mercies I have rejected all thy favours I have delayed my repentance I have resisted the checks of mine own conscience I have quenched the motions of thy blessed Spirit and turned thy grace into wantonness and yet as if all this had been too little to condemn me I have most daringly presumed on thy mercie and most ungracionsly resolved to go on in my impieties Lord thou hast peomised to forgive those that repent to ease those that are heavy laden to raise up those that are fallen to satisfie those that are hungry and to bind up those that are broken-hearted O Lord my God I earnestly desire to repent I am laden with a burthen insupportable I am feeble and sore smitten with the terrors of thy Law my flesh trembleth and my heart fainteth I am fallen into the very mouth of hell I am sorely wounded with the remorse of mine own accusing conscience and hungry for the sweet refreshings of thy saving grace Thou O Lord hast made me sensible of this my great misery and thou alone canst make me capable of thy rich mercy unto that mercie therefore I appeal with sighs in my soul and sorrow in my heart O thou which art the blessed fountain of all goodness which desirest not the death of a sinner but rather that he should repent and live have mercy upon me O thou which art the Saviour of the world which camest to seek and to save those which were lost have mercy upon me O holy and for ever blessed Spirit thou which feedest and refreshest the distressed soules of thine Elect have mercy on me Let thy power O blessed Father support my weakness thy wisdom O blessed Son supply my folly thy love O blessed Spirit restrain my wilfulness that as thou art eternally one so I may for ever be at unity with thee although most wofully divided in my self Lord as thou hast given me a heart to pray unto thee so give me also a soul to praise thee and a serius resolution to perform those promises I make unto thee Lord sweeten all my sorrows by thy blessed sufferings inlarge my heart with thankfulness for thy many favours strengthen my weak faith restrain my rebellious nature increase daily in me the gifts and graces of thy blessed Spirit indue me with a perfect hatred against all sin and grant dear God that daring and presumptuous sinnes may never have dominion over me Amen CHAP. 14. Upon Quenching the motions of Gods holy Spirit COnsider O my soul from whence these happy thoughts arise and wherefore if they were from nature they must needs savour of corruption but now they are from Grace they summon thee to goodness they beckon thee to immortality Thy God now calleth thee to repentance he offers thee his gracious pardon for thy sin his love his protection his peace his grace his glory He now woeth thee to favour and thou a wofull wretch convicted by thine own accusing conscience condemned by divine Justice rebelliously rejectest all these gracious offers Ah what wofull folly is this nay rather what wilfull madness As there is a time of calling so there will be a time of rejecting the blessed wind of Gods holy Spirit bloweth but where it listeth when it is once gone thou knowest not whether it shall ever return God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy and whom he will he hardeneth Rom. 9. Ah wo be unto that soul whose time of calling is once past a thousand worlds cannot redeem its loss If thou wilt not now embrace these comfortable breathings of his tender love thou shalt then endure the bitter storms of his incensed wrath If thou wilt not embrace his Mercy thou shalt exalt his Justice I called unto you saith God and yee refused to come I held out my hand and ye would not look towards me therefore will I forsake you in your extremity when your fear cometh as desolation and your destruction as a whirlwind when distress and anguish cometh upon you then shall they call upon me but I will not answer they shall seek me early but they shall not find me Prov. 1.24 27 28. Gods clemency and patience in this life will assuredly exasperate his fury and revenge in that to come as his Mercy is unutterable so his Justice is intollerable both are his divine being and therefore both must needs be infinite both are to manifest his glory and therefore both must be eternall From hence is that expression of Saint Vaul It is a fearfull thing to fall into the hands of the living God Heb. 10. From hence it is that wicked men are left unto their own swing in this life that they may be payd home with Gods wrath in that to come Let this teach thee O my soul to welcome these endeared motions of the gladding Spirit to thirst for them to rejoyce in them to think no thought too dear to be disloged for them Blessed Lord I hear thee calling thy holy Apostle Saint Peter and I see him readily forsaking all to follow thee how often hast thou called me a sinfull wretch by the sweet motions of thy blessed Spirit and I have hitherto refused to forsake the very least of all my sins for thy sake who willingly forsookest all the pleasures of this life for mine Long hast thou waited my repentance but I have yet hated to be reformed Mercy hath been offered and I have not esteemed it Judgement hath been threatned and I have not regarded it thou hast not onely whispered unto me by thy gracious visits of thy blessed Spirit but thou hast even called me aloud by thy divine hand of wholsom chastisement By loss of friends by loss of means by loss of health by loss of liberty and without thy rich mercy by the great danger of that greater loss of thy Gospel and thereby of thy gracious presence in this life and thine eternall joys in that to come All this my sins have justly brought upon me and yet for all this my wretched heart desires to be a stranger to thee Lord who am I that thou so graciously invitest unto mercy Lord what am I that now presume to speak unto thee I am so
deformed and contemptible that mine own knowledge cometh far short of mine own misery O how justly mightst thou for ever leave me to my self to eat the fruit of mine own wayes and to be filled with the falshood of mine own devices to possess sorrow and inherit shame But thou O Lord who art infinite in goodness hast manifested to my sinfull soul that when I wretchedly forsake thee thou readily forsakest all to follow me when I run from thee thou bewailest me when misery compels me to return thou joyfully receivest me thou lovingly relievest me thou then graciously acceptest of me And now O Lord when I have even wearied out thy mercy and compassion towards me thou still invitest me to come unto thee To thee therefore O thou blessed Shepheard of my soul do I devote these penitent expressions O let those tributary tears which are due to thy sufferings be now plentifully poured forth for mine own sins Lord pardon my contempt of grace and graciously enable me to entertain these happy visits of thy holy Spirit and patiently to bear these sweet chastisements of thy heavenly hand that I may have fellowship with Christ and peace with God If thou Lord for the sins of my prosperity shalt think it fit to bring upon me the miseries of adversity for the great neglect of thy gracious visits to deny mee the sweet comforts of thy blessed answers yet give me patience and sure confidence to trust stil in thy mercie that so while I am most justly debarred of my longing desires I may not be utterly deprived of thy loving favours Lord cast me not away from thy presence O leave me not unto my self lest I perish everlastingly make me to see the richness of thy love and favour towards me Quicken the motions of thy blessed Spirit in me renew my good thoughts and six them wholly upon heaven and heavenly things Lord Jesus make me joyful in them and for ever truly thankful for them Make me willing to enjoy thee and ready to abandon all things for thee Lord I now seek thee but I cannot find thee I call upon thee but thou answerest me not O kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth for thy love is better than wine Lord let thy left hand support me and thy right hand imbrace me let me be outwardly and inwardly sustained by thee my weaknss by thy power my rebellion by thine obedience my folly by thy wisdom my pollution by thy sanctification my faith by thy fruition that I may be grieved for thine absence delighted in thy presence inamored with thy beanty inriched with thy bounty inflamed with thy love adorned with thy graces comforted with thy consolation incompast with thy glory Amen CHAP. 15. Upon the consideration of Gods peculiar Providence to his Children Lord NOthing can befall me in this life without thy wife and over-ruling providence not so much as one hair of me can fail without thy allowance for even my very hairs are numbred as a Sparrow cannot fall to the ground so neither a hair from mine head without thy sacred leave And if thy blessed Providence protecteth these inferior creatures if it extend it self even unto excrements how much more safely doest thou guard the bodies how much more tenderly the soules of thine Elect Yet such is my stupidity by nature that I seldom look beyond the seond causes I usually content my self with casuals and contingencies and often judge that meerly accidentall which sweetly moves by thy commands to thine appointment and thy childrens good Thy Providence is eternall thy provision in time thou O Lord art infinitely wise and caust therefore provide infinitely well the end thou ordainest to thy self the means to thy creature good and bad are under thy protection the good for themselves the bad for others both for thy glory the one thou willest to be happy the other thou permittest to be miserable neither of them can avoyd their necessity of fate and yet thou neither inclinest the one nor inforcest the other because unto both in their originall thou gavest perfect freedome of will to chuse the good to leave the bad to inherit life or purchase death Blessed God we are all debtors in our first Parents thou mayst therefore most justly require that of us which was lent us in them They were able to pay but not willing we their wofull posterity as we are in nature are neither able nor willing But by thy grace Lord we are onely willing and not able and thou hast therefore sent thine onely Son who was both freely willing and fully able to appease thy Justice to reconcile thy Mercy to comfort us here to crown us hereafter And now Lord having given us thy Son how shalt thou not together with him allso give us all things and yet I often see thee giving of good things to the bad and bad to the good there is nothing more fiequent in this life than the afflictions of thy children nothing more common than the prosperity of the wicked they receive their good things in this life I shall enjoy mine in that to come when I shall be comforted and they tormented Thou O Lord art righteous in all they waies and holy in all thy works thou loadest them with thine outward blessings for their outward obedience thou deniest me these outward favours for mine inward advantage by the one they are left inexcusable by the other I am made more conformable my patience exercised my faith tried my love examined my humility proved all these are speciall tokens of thy mercy towards me for as grace increaseth here so shall glory hereafter Lord what can he fear that is assured of thy favour that knoweth assuredly that all these outward things shall work together for the best to his advantage If Joseph be thrown into the Pit it is to send him into Egypt if into Prison to preser him to Pharoah that so Corn may be sent into Canaan if Satan be sent to tempt Job with afflictions it is because Job shall overcome Satan by patience if holy David become a sad spectacle of humane frailty by sinning it is to make him a pattern of true piety in repenting if the bodies of the Saints be grievously martyr'd in this life it is to array them with glorious robes in that to come Lord let this teach me joyfully to entertain the saddest of events which either thy wisdome mans unrighteousness or Satans cruelty can bring upon me to be patient under them and thankfull for them to ransake my soul and search diligently there for what sin thou sendest this sorrow to bewail it abhor it forsake it and earnestly implore thy pardon for it When I am thus happily resolved I shall then have that undaunted boldnesse to say with holy Job Allthough thou killest me yet will I trust in thee with holy David Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death yet will I fear none evill for thou Lord art with me
eternall life O wofull cateif if I well consider what I am but sar more wofull if I seriously consider what I should be Lord when I was in my blood thou saidst unto me Live when I was cast out and none eye pittied me then thou hadst mercy on me when I was naked thou clothedst me when I was wounded thou healedst me nay more Lord thou didst uncloath thy self for me and by thy wounds I am healed when I was loathsom in mine own eyes I was beautifull in thine and when all this is not yet enough to manifest thy wonderfull compassions towards me thou feedest me at thine own Table thou lodgest me in thine own bosom thou makest me partaker of thine own inheritance Blessed God what couldest thou have done more for me that thou hast not done And yet for all this I forsake thee I neglect thee I abuse thee I adulterate those many vows and promises I made unto thee And now Lord when I am even ashamed to present my self before thee when my false heart hath been so great a stranger to thy blessed bosom that I am even afraid to kneel to thee for mercy thou graciously forgivest me thou bemoanest my sin thou hidest my shaure thou makest love unto me and to the wonder of my soul delightest still to set thy love upon me Thou O my blessed Saviour hast told me that if I were of this World it would love me but now I am not of this World that the World hateth me Lord what madness is this in me to love mine utter enemy to delight in her bosom which hunteth for my precious life to forlake thee the pleasant Lilly of the Vallies the sweet Refreshments of Eternity to weary out and wound my soul amongst the Bryars of this barren Wilderness Thou Lord hast sayd unto me Arise my Love my Fair one and come away thou invitest me from the showers and tempests of a stormy Winter from the cares and troubles of a discontented life to the sweet dews of thy graces the gentle breathings of thy Spirit the tender buds of thy love the lovely blossems of thy goodness the pleasant fruit of thy promises the joyfull crop of thy performances And notwithstanding all this I still cry yet a little more sleep yet a little more number yet a little more folding of the hands together yet a little more sin yet a little more shame yet a little more sorrow Ah Lord what is there in the creature that thus strangely bewitcheth me or rather what is there not in it that is not every minute ready to betray me and dispoyl me of those precious ornaments of soul which thou hast given me the cares and crosses of this life asflict me the pleasures besot me the profits disturb me pride puffeth me up and even mine own heart deceiveth me by calling good evill and evill good by making that sweet in the expectation which is bitter in the fruition Lord while I have sought the creature I have lost my self my body in distempers my soul in distractions That precious Faith which is the ground of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen whose end is the salvation of my soul which is thy gift who art the God of truth is now drowned in a sea of error and justly given up to believe dreams and delusions and doctrines of Devils to trust wholly in vanity and to follow after lying That saving knowledge by which I was formerly enlightned in thy sacred Truths is now blinded with the soggy mists of sin and ignorance This Lord is my great aggravation and just condemnation that light is come into the world and I have loved darkness better than light That glorious hope which maketh not ashamed but exspecteth an inheritance eternall in the heavens which fadeth not away is now become a vain and empty hope delighted with sin rewarded with shame Those blessed affections by which my happy soul was wont to walk in thy wayes and to delight it self in thy commands are now wearied out in wayes of wickedness and that heart which hath so often promised obedience unto thee any thy Laws hath now forsaken thee the living God and made a covenant with death and hell Thus am I robbed and spoyled of all and am become poor and wretched and blind and naked and miserable my whole head is sick and my whole heart is faint I have sown in iniquity and must reap in asfliction I am intoxicated with the wine of Errour that stings me like a Scrpent and bites me like a Cockatrice and yet when I awake such is the sadnesse of my present condition I say I will seek it yet still Lord he that is once out of thy path knoweth not the length of his journey and may well fear to lose himself for ever And now Lord what is my hope truly my hope is even in thee thou seest my weaknesse and acceptest my willingnesse thou that knowest it impossible that the world should be overcome by me biddest me be of good comfort because thou Lord hast overcome the world for me if I fight not against thee though I am often foyled yet I am more than conquerour in thee O let this teach me joyfully to rely upon thee to make thee the height of my joy the end of my desires the onely happy and eternall object of my sinfull soul Lord I heartily defire thee I thankfully embrace thee and doe for ever vow my soul and body to thee Suffer me not to wander from thy blessed presence let me not longer dally nor dissemble with my soul O let me not think that I then love thee when I love but my self in thee make me now at last to know those blessed things that belong to my peace lest they be for ever hid from mine eyes Lord by thy rich mercy I can now plainly see the vanity and emptinesse of all these earthly objects the folly and misery of those that rest in them the rest and quietnesse of those that least rely upon them in this tranfitory beauty of the Creature I can now behold the ravishing perfections of the great Creatoâ—r Lord I now exceedingly desire to know thee that I may for ever love thee that I may be sick of love till I enjoy thee that I may joyfully rest in thee and be eternally united to thee For thou Lord art infinitely sweeter than the sweetnesse of thy Creatwes they are all but emptinesse and vanity but in thy presence is the fulnesse of joy and at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore O thou blessed Fountain of eternall goodnesse forgive me mine offences cover my sins and fix my soul upon the sweetnesse of thy heavenly joyes give me constancy and steadinesse of heart to cleave unto thee and for thy mercy sake remove all vain desires that may betray me from thee O thou blessed Saviour of my sinfull soul by whose persect obedience all my disobedience is forgiven me who hast given
his gracious performances I now enjoy that blessed Peace of God which passeth all our understanding My deliverance is wonderful my freedom absolute my peace unalterable my joy unutterable My conscience is now quieted my spirit ravished mine enemies vanquished and my God wel-pleased To thee therefore O thou blessed Fountain of eternall sweetness do I address my joyfull soul to love and honour thee to my lives end Lord Jesus accept of me and so powerfully and graciously assist me that I may savingly behold thee in thy blessed promises that I may happily enjoy thee in thy holy Ordinances that I may clearly see and joyfully confess what great things thou hast done for my poor soul that I may be dayly ravished with apprehension of thine exceeding love and hourly husied with recounting thy endless praise Lord make me to forsake the sins and miseries of this life make me more watchful over my corrupt heart more zealous of thy glory and thy childrens good that I may never willingly offend thee but wholly sacrifise the short remainder of my dayes unto thee that so my heart and my flesh may triumphantly rejoice in thee the living God Mortifie my corruptions support my weakness accept my willingness Let this my humiliation before thee be a pleasing sacrifice unto thee for his alone sake whose precious life thy rich mercie hath sacrifised to thy Justice for me Lord hear me and have mercy on me for his alone sake whom thou hast freely given unto me that I may truly love thee devoutly serve thee earnestly imbrace thee eternally enjoy thee Amen CHAP. 10. Upon a Journey undertaken and the many dangers incident thereunto I Am now going from mine own home and know not whether I shall ever return God I know hath set a pâ—riod to my dayes beyond which I cannot pass but when or where or how my life shall end I am uncertain Many are the dangers that attend this sinfull life and many more my sins that have deserv'd them I can neither number the one nor foresee the other this is the wretched and the sad condition of my body and without unfeigned sorrow for my sins the much more wofull case of my distressed soul Lord there is nothing so sweet as thy love nothing so safe as thy protection and yet I have carelessy neglected the one and thou mayst now justly deny me the other thou hast woed me to mercy and I have refused to come thou hast graciously invited me by thy continuall preservations by thy fatherly sustentations by thy gentle corrections by thy faithfull promises and thy rich performances Blessed Lord how wonderfull are thy compassions towards me when I am unthankfull for thy many favours when I am unmindfull of mine own miseries even then thou graciously providest for me and yet for all this I have not hitherto resolved seriously to come unto thee Such and so many are my sins so great is my unthankfulness that I now tremble to appear before thee and yet so tender is thy mercy to me that thou again allurest me to comfort and contentment Lord into the blessed bosom of thy love I cast my self for safety and protection and in the midst of danger even in death it self will joyfuliy rely upon thee For thou O Lord art my strong rock and fortress unto which I will alwaies resort Lord keep me as the apple of thine eye hide me under the shaddow of thy wings Strengthen my weak faith against the strong assaults of Satan support and comfort me in all the fears and terrors of mine own accusing conscience protect and keep me in this present journey let thy holy Angels be my blessed Guardians to protect me in life to preserve me in death to assist me after death O let me never grieve those blessed Spirits which though invisibly yet most assuredly are my attendants Lord as thou hast given them readyness and cheerfulness of mind to watch my preservation and further my salvation so give me carefulness and constancy of soul to joy them in my life and conversation And seeing Lord I cannot know my hour of dissolution O teach me so to number my days that I may apply my heart unto heavenly wisdom that I may obtain a sweet assurance of thy love in Christ unfeigned sorrow for my sins a sincere and constant heart to thy service and a cheerfull readiness at thy call Amen CHAP. 11. Containing pious Meditations and zealous Ejaculations after a Journey I Am now by Gods gracious providence returned safe unto mine earthly home but am still travelling to my heavenly There is nothing in this life but labour and sorrow nothing in that but rest and happiness and yet I dote upon the one and neglect the other Lord if my treasure were with thee my heart would be there allso When thou givest me more knowledge of thee I shall have more desire to come unto thee When my sins have made me more sensible of mine own misery thy Grace I trust will make me more capable of thy sweet mercy Lord if this vain unquietness be so refreshing to my mortall body how truly blessed will thy heavenly rest be to mine immortall soul When thou Lord wilt wipe away all tears from mine eyes all akings from my heart when there shall be no more death neither sorrow nor crying nor any more pain when soul and body shall triumphantly and joyfully repose themselves in thee for ever when they shall drink freely of the rivers of thy pleasures and be for ever satisfied with the fatness of thy house I confess my self unworthy to enjoy this outward rest in this mine earthy home much more unworthy to enjoy that inward rest that sweet assurance of a lively hope to be partaker of eternall rest How wretched is my body without this outward quietness How much more wre ched is my soul without thee Thou O Lord art my shield to defend me my staff to uphold me my food to sustain me my wine to glad me my beloved to embrace me my pleasure to delight me my joy to ravish me my sweet and sate repose for ever to refresh me Let this teach me Lord to fix my thoughts on heaven and heavenly things to use this world soberly in thee and to thee to view it truly as it is a barren wilderness a transitory vain and empty thing far inconsistent with my reall happiness to desire nothing to enjoy nothing in the creature but onely in and unto thee the great Creator so shall no vain pleasure bewitch me no unjust profit beguil me no sudden sorrow dismay me no terrors of conscience affright me To thee O thou soveraign of my soul do I devote the remnant of my sinfull dayes to love thee to praise thee to honour thee to rest in thee for ever Lord wean me from the sins and miseries of this life and raise my thoughts to immortality Let the sweetness of thy heavenly joyes relieve the harshness of my worldly sorrows that misery may
the triall of my courage of my Christianity if I overcome I shall rejoyce on earth triumph in heaven If that evill one were as powerfull as malicious I had just cause to fear him but now my comfort and assurance is that he cannot hurt me but by me He now strongly labours to encline my will and wo were me if he might compell it his subtile suggestions his unclean solicitations his fulminated motions may be the father begetting but mine own corrupt heart is the mother conceiving there can be no danger from abroad if there be no treason at home Look well into thy self therefore O my soul ascend the Watch tower of thine understanding and see that there lurk therein no seeming shews no specious pretences no gross lies no false proposals to betray thee if thy head be surprised thy heart cannot long hold out Examine thine affections try them by the blessed rule of divine precepts if they be not sharply corrected they will soon be corrupted endeavour to resist the very first motions to sin for if Satan can beguile thine affections he will undoubtedly command thine actions Quicken thy memory by the momentany pleasure of sin by the heavy judgements threatned against it by the sad consequences of it by the eternity of torments after it Think how often thou hast been allready foyled how many serious vows and faithfull promises thou hast allready made to God of thine amendment how carelesly thou hast dispensed with them all and how presumptuously persisted in thy follies O think how gracious thy God hath been unto thee in forbearing how wonderfull his mercy is in pardoning how justly he might now destroy thee even in the very act of sinning Lord if none of all this will yet scare me from sinning against thee nor allure me to repenting that I may draw nearer home unto thee O let me yet confider who it is that leadeth me to fight and wherefore I have engaged Thou O my blessed Saviour art my Captain and Heaven is my Country Shall I now lose those rivers of eternall pleasures for this short this false this momentany joy shall I run from thee who art the Prince of Peace and who hast spilt thy pretious blood for me unto that cruel enemy of Mankind who hath drawn so much blood from me Shall I forsake thee who hast layd down thy life for me and inslave my self to him who every minute seeketh to devour me Shall I dishonor thee my God grieve thine holy Angels shame my profession wound mine own conscience terrifie mine own soul seek mine own ruin If I consent to this temptation that God whom I dishonour will abhor me those blessed Angels whom I grieve will forsake me those cursed spirits whom I obey will deride me that conscience which I now wound will accuse me that glorious Gospel which I shame will condemn me and that ruin which I now seek will for ever seize upon me Let this move thee O my soul as thou exspectest happiness to take up a blessed resolution of resistance If the assault dismay thee let the conquest encourage thee if the beginning be sharp the close will be sweet if nature be dejected grace will be strengthened and as grace increaseth here so shall glory hereafter Consider last of all what Saint James saith and fix it in thy thoughts as chief of all Blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tryed he shall receive the crown of life which the Lord hath promised to them that love him Jam. 1.12 Thrice happy is that soul which is faithfull in Gods service although it may often faint it shall never fail it may sometimes be foyled but shall never be overcome it shall never fall totally it can never fall finally for thou Lord upholdest it and in thy love it is sure of safety here of triumph hereafter Blessed God With grief of heart I willingly confess that I have shamefully dishonored thy great and glorious name by mine often failings by my many faintings and more wretched yeeldings to the shame of my profession the grief of thy good Spirit and the terror of my frail condition Lord how wretched is my soul without thee and yet how easily how willingly am I enticed from thee even at this instant I am ready to forsake thee and may most justly fear to be forsaken of thee The world allureth me the flesh besotteth me the devill beguileth me and mine own false heart deceiveth me and is now ready to rebell against me O wretched man that I am who shall deliver me Lord Jesus assist me and let thy saving grace be now and evermore sufficient for me Lord rebuke these evill thoughts relieve my miserie support my weakness strengthen my willingness give me an undaunted courage in thy service an unfeigned sorrow for my former failings and constancy of heart against present suggestions and future temptations that I may find no sweetness but in thy love no pleasure but in thy service no profit but in thy rewards Amen CHAP. 26. Upon the Infirmities of the Saints Lord WIth grief of heart I confess that I find a Law in my members rebelling against the Law of my mind and leading me captive to the Law of fin so that those things which I would do I cannot and I dayly and hourly do those things which I would not yet my comfort is that I make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof By the weakness of mine own corruptions I often fall into sin but by the blessed assistance of thy grace I abhor to lie there sin oftentimes surpriseth me but by thy rich mercy hath never yet reigned over me It hath often deceived me but I trust shall never destroy me It hath pleased thee O my blessed Saviour to conclude all things under sin that thy grace may abound while I strive against it and am afflicted for it my sinfull desires will I trust be graciously accepted and in thy perfect obedience gloriously rewarded Be not dismayed therefore O my soul that thou sometimes art ravished with apprehension of thy heavenly joyes and suddenly relapsed to the follies of a wretched heart the one thou happily enjoyest by the sweet assistance of the heavenly Spirit the other thou violently sufferest by the strong torrent of my sinfull nature Lord such is thy great wisdom and inconceivable goodness towards me that oftentimes thou leavest me unto my self and therefore sufferest me to fall and that most grievously sometimes that I may see mine own infirmities and be truly humbled for them that I may impute nothing to mine own merits but give all the glory to thy sufferings that I may goe out of my self and mine own misery into the sweet enjoyment of thy rich and endlesse mercy Consider therefore O my soul that so long as thou continuest in this valley of tears thou canst not live without this burthen of sin so long as thou carriest this frail body about thee continuing weaknesses
labour to be powerfull in my prayers to study to be humble zealous earnest even importunate in my devotions to let no sinfull thought pass me without a sigh no sinfull action without holy contrition no divine favours without devout and thankfull acknowledgement That soul which is truly sensible of the burden of sin will hasten unto that heavenly help that can give it ease and that heart which is once truly inflamed with thy love will readily instruct â—he tongue to be zealous in thy praise Lord let me first seek mine own heart before I presume to come before thy Mercy seat lest if I recall it not from the vanities of this life my very prayers become sin and so while I expect a blessing I deserve a curse Let no vain excuse no barren pretence of this life perswade me to intermit this holy duty lest carelesness and coldness in devotion beget in me a loathing of that course which by constant practice will become my constant comfort I ord make me to consider of the sweetness of the excellency of this gift that I may dayly labour to improve it to my soules eternall happiness That when I often fall as I needs must through the weakness of the flesh thou O Lord in mercy mayst restore me through my blessed importunity of spirit With grief of heart Lord I confess that my great neglect of this holy duty hath most justly occasioned the great abatement of thy holy Spirit in me and long withholdings of thine outward blessings from me Lord give me yet an heart to serve thee and then take from me what thou wilt I desire nothing with out thee for I know assuredily that with thee I cannot but enjoy all things needfull for me O make me to bewail mine own unworthiness my drownsiness my dulness my carelesness my much untowardness in thy service Create in me a clean heart O Lord and renew a right spirit within me that I may praise thee with alacrity and fervency of soul that I may be daily ravished with contemplation of eternity and hourly satisfie my thoughts with apprehension of the sweetness of my present safety of my future glory Lord make me every day more earnest in this holy duty O give me such affectionate desires such holy longings such insatiate appetites such earnest importunities of heart for heavenly graces that I may not onely beg of thee but even wrestle with thee for this blessing although the sinfull desires of my corrupt flesh go halting to the grave Be mercifull unto me O Lord for my soul trusteth in thee and in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge untill these calamities of sins and miseries be overpast Lord hear the voice of my humble petitions when I cry unto thee when I hold up my hands towards thy Mercy seat shew thy servant the light of thy countenance and save me for thy mercy sake Ps 28.2 Ps 31.18 CHAP. 31. Upon the great neglect of Reading the sacred Scriptures ALass my soul how unbeseeming thy profession is this thy backwardness to holy duties how long wilt thou grovell on this element of earth how long be cheated with these counterfeit commodities these childish toys of outward enjoyments what sweetness canst thou find in those things which favour of corruption what comfort in those joyes which are but vain vexatious toylsom transitory whose seeming beauties are suddenly passing never returning O let this move thee to delight in that which cannot pass to remember whence thou art and whether thou art going that thou mayst thereby raise thy thoughts to immortality Look upon the beauty of those sacred leaves and thou wilt loath the falshood of this worlds embraces Thou mayst there find the sum of all that was or is or is to come conducing to thy reall happiness There is nature unbowelled hell opened and heaven unveiled Thou mayst there see the creature to be vanity thy self misery thy Saviour felicity Thou hast there his counsell to guide thee his wisdom to instruct thee his power to sustein thee his gifts to encourage thee his threatnings to admonish thee his mercies to allure thee his judgements to deter thee his holy Spirit to comfort thee There is antiquitie strangeness truth in history wonder in miracles amazement in prophecie foundness in precepts sweetness in promises each sillable contained in this Book is matter of eternall moment Take heed therefore that thou passest by no portion of thâ—s sacred volume lightly nor pryest into any presumptuously holy diligence is often blest with heavenly knowledge and humble ignorance with heavenly grace Lord seeing that thy word is in it self so excellently rich and in its use so absolutely good with what earnestnâ—ss of soul ought I to embrace it with what holy diligence peruse it with what devout cheerfulness and constancy of heart apply my self unto it These high perfectiâ—â—s shall religiously oblige me to repair my former neglects by my present promises of my future performances No day shall henceforth pass me without some time alotted for this holy exercise custoâ— will make it easie profit sweet if the troublesom affairs of this lise do sometimes to my soul grief distuâ—b me in it by thy grace assisting they shall never divert me from it what is borrowed from this blessed task by inforced necessity shall be repayed with advantage by the next happy opportunity Lord all is but vanity and meer nothing in compare of thee and thy service If I cannot be willingly holy I shall never be joyfully happy Blessed Lord So sanctifie my sinfull soul that I may joyfully perform those promises I make unto thee that I may daily dedicate some part and portion of my sinfull houres to read some portion of thy sacred Scriptures O let them ever be the joy of my joy the life of my life the light of mine eyes and comfort of my heart Lord turn away mine eyes from these outward enjoyments lest they behold vanity and quicken me in thy way Give me an humble soul that I may read thy blessed lines with holy fear and awfull reverence that I may be piously delighted with them and happily instructed by them Give me a discerning soul that I may see the wonderfull things of thy law that I may truly love it and delight in it that my heart may be inflamed by it and my tongue be ever talking of it O let thy Statutes be my song in the house of my pilgrimage that I may walk in thy wayes with constancy that I may run in thy race with fervency Amen CHAP. 32. Upon the neglect of Divine Meditation WHat doest thou here on earth O my soul why art thou so perplexed with the cares and sorrows of this sinfull life so careless of the joyes in that to come Who can judge him likely to inherit Heaven that loves not to think of it Thou mayst measure thy degrees of Grace by thy desires of Glory If thy thoughts be not often and earnestly taken up
temptation if the World frown upon them they can chearfully say and faithfully believe that A small thing which the righteous hath is better than great riches of the ungodly Psal 37.16 if it smile that They then account all things but loss and dung in compare of Christ Jesus if outward blessings be present they are humble under them and thankfull for them if absent They can patiently tarry for the Lord for they know he is their help Psal 33.14 and that No good thing will he withhold from them that love him Psal 34.10 if sickness seize upon them The Lord is about their bed and about their path and spieth out all their waies their waies of sin and their waies of sorrow yea He maketh their beds in their sickness by ease to their bodies comfort to their souls if famine threaten them they have God's promise to maintain them For the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him and upon all those that put their trust in his mercy To deliver their souls from dearth and to feed them in the time of security Psal 33.17 18. if sudden danger approach them they have heavenly succour to defend them for The Angell of the Lord tarrieth about all them that fear him to deliver them yea even Death it self is an advantage to them and therefore no waies able to affright them for Pretious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his Saints and therefore Though the Lord kill them yet will they trust in him Iob 13.15 Lord if thy mercy be thus great unto me while I am yet in my sinfull flesh how unspeakable shall I find thy love when my body is become spirituall my joy eternall From these outward enjoyments may well be derived their inward contentments but by their inward refreshments is enjoyed that incomparable inconceivable unutterable sweetness that blessed peace of God and joy in the holy Ghost which passeth all our understanding God's holy Spirit witnessing with their spirits that they are his children and most pretious in his sight and they are now fully perswaded with his blessed Apostle that Neither Death nor Life nor Angels nor Principalities nor Powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other Creature shall be ever able to separate them from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord Rom. 8. 37 38. How full of solid comfort is this blessed assurance how are our souls ravished with apprehension of the sweetness of our present comforts of the fulness of our future joyes these blessed earnests of that ever blessed Spirit are the faithfull pledges of his future embraces far above the reach of Malice to disturb or Devill to destroy Hence it is that our faith is pretious our hope lively our joy glorious our lives safe our deaths blessed and from hence arise those many and those rich endowments of the Saints their zeal burning their love wonderfull their desires earnest their longings insatiate their petitions for enjoyings importunate Lord what can I desire more of thee than what I enjoy from thee I have thy mercy without me and thy mercy within me thy mercy in life and thy mercy in death thy mercy from the beginning thy mercy to the end and thy mercy without end I am even crowned and encompassed with mercy O let me now say with holy David I will allwaies give thanks unto the Lord and his praise shall be ever in my mouth Psal 34.1 Let me not onely praise thee my self but with him allso invite others to praise thee O praise the Lord with me all ye his Saints and let us magnifie his name together Psal 34.3 O tast and see how gratious the Lord is blessed is that man which putteth his trust in him Be glad O yee righteous and rejoyce in the Lord and be joyfull all yee that are true of heart Psal 32.12 And now Lord having had a tast of the sweetness of thy Saints happiness on earth I willingly forsake all to follow them I have too long been straying in the strange pastures of impiety and am now joyfully desirous to be led home to thy fold that I may feed in the green and fresh pastures of thy sacred precepts and drink freely of those waters of comfort in thy blessed promises that I may so drinle that I may never thirst but be fully satisfied with thy grace in this life with thy glory in that to come O let this evill world neither allure me to its vanities nor betray me from thy mercies but as thou hast overcome the world for me so by thy grace assisting it may be allso overcome by me Thou hast indeed told me that I shall mourn in it but my mourning shall be turned into joy and that my joy shall no man take from me Lord I believe help my unbeliefe I embrace thy cross I despise the shame for that glory which is set before me of which I have a safe assurance by the blessed earnest of thy holy Spirit in me To thee O Father Son and holy Spirit one eternall infinite incomprehensible and ever blessed Goodness be all possible praise honour and glory now and for ever Amen O thou great God who hast tender bowels of compassions and multitudes of mercies for us miserable sinners who art not easy to be provoked but ever ready to forgive who sufferest not thy whole displeasure to arise against us but even in thy very judgements remembrest mercy and art then moved with the sight of our misery have mercy upon me a great and grievous finner Lord I have sinned I have transgressed I have done foolishly in departing from thy judgements But righteousness belongeth unto thee O Lord and unto me shame and confusion of face O let thy bowels of compassions remove out thy sight my multitudes of transgressions that I may now appear before thee with a joyfull heart and happy soul Let thy words be sweeter to me than the hony and the hony comb than the vain pleasures and false profits of this life O let my chiefest joy be in thy service my greatest delight to walk in thy waies and all false waies of pollution and uncleanness let me utterly abhorr Give me that inward peace that quietness of conscience which the world cannot take from me that when I am afflicted by it I may not be condemned with it Lord let me faithfully believe and gratiously improve the constancy of thy love in the worlds great unconstancy the richness of thy mercy in this wretched ages misery O that my eye might drop without ceasing that my heart might break forth into complaints and my soul be melted into sorrows for mine own and others sins that have occasioned these heavy judgements these sad complainings of thy people Lord as I have been a great and grievous sinner amongst them so let me be a constant and a true mourner for them as thou hast beheld us sinning so now allso behold us sorrowing
frailties commiserate his infirmities forgive his iniquities Lord purge him by thy pretious blood cloath him with thine own righteousnesse inrich him with thy blessed merits and plead them to thy Father for him O thou holy and for ever blessed Spirit who art the pure fountain of eternall love be present with him relieve and comfort him in all these bitter pangs of his last hour indue him with a willingnesse and cheerfulnesse to leave this transitory life and crown him with eternity of joyes in that to come And now O Lord we come unto thee for our selves who are here at this time upon our sinfull knees before thee Lord open our eyes that we may seriously consider of that last and solemn hour of our departure Lord sanctifie our hearts that while we are encompassed with sinfull flesh we may lament our often failings and infirmities and every day be more and more desirous to goe home to thee who art the God of spirits Lord give us grace that we may walk soberly and righteously and holily as becometh thy children that at the resurrection of the just our soules and bodies may enjoy the blessed consummation of their endlesse happinesse Lord hear our prayers and let our cries come unto thee for thy name sake for thy promise sake for thy blessed Sons sake Amen The Conclusion BLessed Lord God by whose onely mercy I have finished this imperfect Work as I began it by thy goodnesse so I desire to end it with thy praise Lord accept of it and graciously afford thy blessing to it Let not the weaknesse and the sinfulnesse of me the Instrument be the Readers discouragement but give glory and honour to thee the Agent for of thee and through thee and to thee are all things to thee be praise for ever Amen SOLI DEO GLORIA For the comfort and assistance of those that are ready to depart this life I have hereunto added the dying Confession of Mr. Anthâ—ny Sadler Minister of Gods Word at West-Thorock in Essex of which I was an Ear-witness Obiit vicesimo die Maii Anno 1643. THE Lord hath laid a gratious and a gentle visitation on me I doe acknowledge with a thankfull heart that this weakness of body this languishing of nature these painfull daies and nights are from him For misery cometh not out of the dust neither doth affliction spring out of the earth Job 5.6 Ah my friends little doe men think how much the great disturbances of sickness how much he pains and infirm ties of a dec ying body distract those blessed thoughts those sweet and happy meditations which the troubled soul desires The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak Lord Jesus strengthen the inward man and lay no more upon this sinfull bâ—dy than thou in mercy shalt enable it to bear I am now verily perswaded that God hath purposed to determine my daies his blessed will be done even so Lord Jesus come quickly He that looketh into his life past that ransaketh his soul and calleth to minde the sinfull failings of his youth will finde it very hard and difficult to make his calling and election sure I have earnestly desired to leave no corner of my soul unsearcht and I finde my self to be a very great and wretched sinner I have committed grievous sinnes very grievous sinnes such sinnes as are not fit to be named before God's Saints I have examined my soul by each particular Commandment and I finde my self guilty of the breach of all and that in an high manner especially considering that weighty Function God's providence hath called me unto I have not onely sinned against mine own soul but against the soules of others too whom I have corrupted by my ill example and that very often And now when I look upon the glasse of the Law and there see mine owne vildnesse I finde Gods justice and mine own deserts even ready to surprise and cast me down into the nethermost hell and that most righteously But O see the goodnesse of a gratious God! I now come to lay hold upon the promises but how not without repentance not presumingly I apply them not in a generall but particular way I doe not onely believe that Christ Jesus came iâ— to the World to save sinners but I believe allso that he died for my sinnes and rose again for my justification God hath promised and all his promises are Yea and Amen that he will not forsake those which trust in him nay he hath bound himself unto it by an oath by two immutable things which cannot fail his Truth and his Holinesse Heb. 6.18 and God hath said That he which confesseth and forsaketh his sinnes shall finde mercy 1 Joh. 1.9 I acknowledge them I confesse them I am grieved for them I forsake them I abhorre themwhat should I doe more God requireth not more of me These pauses were supplied with tears and yet for all this I cannot find my self assured of his favour methinkes this sorrow is not so hearty as it ought to be and yet I know and stedfastly believe that if God did not work with me this sorrow could not be and where he worketh there can be nothing wanting I know that the most righteous man alive cannot perform this work so perfectly as he ought and therefore I believe that he which is ascended up on high hath done it for me in that full and ample manner which is able to appease his Father's wrath and I now trust that by his perfect obedience this imperfect worke of mine shall find a gratious acceptation This is my hope and this my beliefe Nay I can goe yet a little further to strengthen my assurance that my peace is made with God I every day and every houre doe pray unto my Saviour to intercede his Father for me and if I implore him he will intercede his Father and if he intercede his Father he cannot be denied O my God impute my sinnes to him transferre his righteousnesse to me and then I know I shall appear a glorious soul before thee Amen FINIS THE CONTENTS CHAP. 1. UPon the sinfulnesse of our thoughts touching the sacred Deity with holy cautions to order our devotions aright pag. 2. CHAP. 2. Upon the consideration of God's love and man's unthankfulnesse A Meditation suited to the morning pag. 9 CHAP. 3. Upon the consideration of Divine Providence A Meditation for noon pag. 14 CHAP. 4. Upon the consideration of the sinfulnesse shortnesse and uncertainâ—y of life A Meditation suited to the evening pag. 17 CHAP. 5. Upon our approaching unto God's House with necessary cautions for our behaviour there pag. 20 CHAP. 6. Upon our returning from God's House and the neglect of private duties pag. 24 CHAP. 7. Upon the want of due preparation for Receiving of the Lord's Supper pag. 27 CHAP. 8. Containing pious Ejaculations at the time of Receiving pag. 30 CHAP. 9. Containing a brief Meditation and pious Thanksgiving after our Receiving pag. 31 CHAP. 10. Upon a Journey undertaken and the many dangers incident thereunto pag. 32 CHAP. 11. Containing pious Meditations and zealous Ejaculations after a Journey pag. 34 CHAP. 12. Upon the great danger of Security pag. 37 CHAP. 13. Upon the great danger of Prosumption pag. 41 CHAP. 14. Upon quenching of the motions of God's holy Spirit pag. 47 CHAP. 15. Upon the consideration of God's peculiar Providence to his Children pag. 51 CHAP. 16. Upon sinfull Anger and the great disturbance thereof pag. 55 CHAP. 17. Upon Man's inordinate love to the Creature pag. 58 CHAP. 18. Upon the sin of Uncleaness with Incouragements to avoid it pag. 63 CHAP. 19. Upon immoderate Mirth and the great Inconveniencies thereof pag. 67 CHAP. 20. Upon the great danger of deferring the hour of Repentance pag. 75 CHAP. 21. Upon Servile Fear and the danger thereof pag. 79 CHAP. 22. Upon the great neglect of reckoning daily with our Thoughts and the benefits lost thereby pag. 84 CHAP. 23. Upon Unchristian-like Dulnesse in Affliction pag. 87 CHAP. 24. Upon uncheerfulnesse in Christianitie with Incouragements to avoyd it pag. 91 CHAP. 25. Upon mans sinfull frailty in the hour of Temptation with Motives to make resistance pag. 94 CHAP. 26. Upon the Infirmitie of the Saints pag. 97 CHAP. 27. Upon Desertion pag. 101 CHAP. 28. Upon sudden danger pag. 106 CHAP. 29. Upon the weaknesse of Faith and sinfulnesse of Thoughts tending to Despair pag. 107 CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer pag. 111 CHAP. 31. Upon the great neglect of Reading the sacred Scriptures pag. 114 CHAP. 32. Upon the neglect of Divine Meditation pag. 117 CHAP. 33. Upon Unchristian-like Dejectedness in Poverty pag. 119 CHAP. 34. Upon Sickness and ungodly repining thereat pag. 122 CHAP. 35. Upon the misery of Life and blessednesse of Death pag. 126 CHAP. 36. Upon the great neglect of opportunities in doing good to the Saints pag. 131 CHAP. 37. Upon the deceitfulnesse of the heart in the performance of holy duties pag. 135 CHAP. 38. Upon the unrulinesse of the Tongue with necessary cautions to restrain it pag. 140 CHAP. 39. Upon holy revenge for sin with motives and incouragements thereunto pag. 144 CHAP. 40. Upon the blessed condition of the Saints with motives and encouragements unto Godlinesse pag. 147 A comfortable Prayer to be used at the point of Death by the Visitors of the Sick pag. 157 FINIS
resolutions to adhere unto thee that as thou art truly and eternally one in thine Essence and yet distinctly three in thy Persons so I may be truly and entirely one in my obedience although distinctly three in my faculties that all may be but one and that a pleasing sacrifice of praises unto thee of profit unto others of comfort to my self Forgive my misconceivings of thy sacred Essence my rash approaches to thy heavenly presence my cold careless irreligious thoughts distracted words undesent actions Lord I am sailing on the stormy sea of ignorance and misery O be thou my sure Pilot to direct me my sweet calm to refresh me my safe harbour to receive me for of thee and through thee and to thee are all things to thee be glory for ever Amen CHAP. 2. Upon the consideration of Gods Love and mans Unthankfulness A Meditation suited to the Morning Blessed God WHen I consider of the richness of the largeness of the constancy of thy love to man of mans vileness and untowardness unto thee his God I stand amazed at thy goodness and mine own unthankfulness How great and invaluable a blessinge do I enjoy in being made partaker of the glorious light of this present day how vile and unworthy am I that receive it how great and glorious art thou that givest it Thou O Lord art light inaccessible unto which no mortall eye can approach before whose glorious Majesty the blessed Angels stand amazed and I am dust and ashes yea worse Lord for dust was thy creation and therefore in its entity was good before I was dust I was not at all This not being by thee became a being this being beautifull this beauty immortall and without thee this happy being is again become far worse than not to be What can be more vain more empty than nothing ah wo is me I am now become far worse than nothing thou madst me all goodness and that goodness might have made me all blessedness but I have made my self all sin and this sin hath made me all misery there was darkness in not being but that darkness was incapable there is greater darkness in being ill for this darkness is most capable of the privation of all light of comfort in this life of the fruition of the blackness of darkness in hell for ever This Lord was my condition in nature and without thy gracious help must have been so for ever Let me now see what my condition is by Grace by which I enjoy not only the light of nature without which my life would prove uncomfortable but allso a sweet and safe assurance that thou wilt by this happy light conduct me safely to the blessed light of Glory Blessed Lord I can now look no way but to happiness I now find a true sweetness and composedness of soul a constant and courageous setledness of heart even in the very heighth of all the disturbances of Nature of all the inundations of Sin of all the fluctuations of Sorrow of all the Machinations of Satan from the sweet fountain of thy mercy arise those pretious streames of Consolation which aboundantly relieve mee in this barren wilderness I find indeed a law in my members continually rebelling against the law of my mind but I find also thy grace to bee sufficient for mee by which I am victorious here and shall be triumphant hereafter Satan may strive to winnow mee like wheat but this shall make mee the purer for thy Granary I now find a totall and a blessed change of the whole man mine affections which formerly were captivated unto sin intirely devoted to thy service my love with holy David wonderfull to thy law my hatred perfect against sin my desire eager for thy presence my fear astonishing in thine absence my delight in thy promises ravishing my joy in thy performances triumphing By these rich indowments of thine I am wrapt up above the reach of humane misery all vain and empty desires of the besotting pleasures of this life appear truly as they are but thornes and bryars to disturb the growth of my felicity how sweet is their loss for thy gain how easily how willingly how joyfully how thankfully are all these foggy mists of ignorance and error happily disperst by the bright rayes of my ensuing glory Beside these fawning enemies of Peace which flatter to unquietness I am now able to incounter with those other which affright the soul even in their first appearance and are able to deject the carnall man even to astonishment and utterly to expose him to the tyranny of sin and torture of punishment such Lord is the vast difference between the blessed ones of thy fold and those unhappy ones which stray from thee into the strange pastures of impiety No sorrow can surprize mee but for sin and even this too thou makest to increase my joy what affliction can be evil which is thy physick who art the fountain of all good if it be grievous in the tast it is joyous in the effects If I mark the happy close I must with joy confess that these bitter storms wil end in blessed calms will bring to my remembrance those grievous sinns that brought my Saviour to those bitter groanes will force mee from the sorrowes of this life to my Celestiall harbour will bring mee on my knees to see mine own vildness will inrich mee with the graces of humilitie and patience and together with them the sweet injoyments of thy blessed Spirit and if so how can I complain of want when in stead of earth I enjoy heaven Lord what can he fear that is assured of thy favour afflictions tribulations crosses sinns Satan Death hell it self shall work to mine advantage as my cross is more grievous my crown shall be more glorious where sin and Satan have been most prevailing there Grace and Goodness shall be more triumphing How truly sweet Lord is the inviolable peace of thy saints who powerfully compellest even the very rage of earth and hell to work to their advantage Lord sanctifie the trialls of this life unto my sinfull soul that by my patient sufferings with my Saviour here I may have peace with him and by him hereafter I have hitherto looked on mine inward happiness if I now cast mine eyes upon mine outward I shall there see that all these outward blessings allso are most peculiarly belonging to the Saints the wicked ones of the world are robbers and shall one day give an account of their theft children friends strangers even our very enemies are protected preserved inriched blessed for our sakes so was Joseph and his brethren for Jacob Zoar for Lot Potipher for Joseph the Centurion and souldiers for St Paul And if thou Lord wilt look so lovingly upon the children of this world for thine elect sake how gratiously wilt thou one day look upon those sonnes that shall be made partakers of thine own inheritance Who would not now bee holy seeing that in this blessed condition there is