enough to be a Gentleman Vsher I must haue one ther 's no remedie Fare-well haue a care of my Followers all but my pettie Broker hee le shift for him selfe Rho. Well let vs alone for your followers Exeunt Manet D'oliue D'ol. Well said deserue and spie out Amb. Me thanke your Lordship D'ol. Heauen I beseech thee what an abhominable sort of Followers haue I put vpon mee These Courtiers feed on 'am with my countenaunce I can not looke into the Cittie but one or other makes tender of his good partes to me either his Language his Trauaile his Intelligence or something Gentlemen send me their younger Sonnes furnisht in compleat to learne fashions for-sooth as if the riding of fiue hundred miles spending 1000 Crownes would make 'am wiser then God meant to make 'am Others with-child with the trauailing humor as if an Asse for going to Paris could come home a Courser of Naples Others are possest with the humor of Gallantrie fancie it to be the onelie happinesse in this world to be enabled by such a coolor to carrie a Feather in his Crest weare Gold-lace guilt Spurs so sets his fortunes on t Turnes two or three Tenements into Trunckes and creepes home againe with lesse then a Snayle not a House to hide his head in Three hundred of these Gold-finches I haue entertained for my Followers I can go in no corner but I meete with some of my Wifflers in their accoutraments you may heare 'am halfe a mile ere they come at you and smell 'am halfe an hower after they are past you sixe or seauen make a perfect Morrice-daunce they need no Bells their Spurs serue their turne I am ashamd to traine 'am abroade they le say I carrie a whole Forrest of Feathers with mee and I should plod afore 'am in plaine stuffe like a writing Schole-maister before his Boyes when they goe a feasting I am afraid of nothing but I shall be Ballated I and all my Wifflers But it s no matter I le fashion 'am I le shew 'am fashions By heauen I le giue three parts of 'am the slipp let 'am looke sort and yet to say trueth I shall not need for if I can but linger my Iorney another moneth I am sure I shall mute halfe my Feathers I feele 'am begin to weare thinne alreadie There 's not tenne Crownes in twentie a their purses And by this light I was told at Court that my greasie Host of the Porcupine last Holiday was got vp to the eares in one of my Followers Satten suites And Uandome went so farre that he swore he saw two of them hangd My selfe indeed passing yesterday by the Fripperie spide two of them hang out at a stall with a gambrell thrust from shoulder to shoulder like a Sheepe that were new flead T is not for nothing that this Pettie Broker followes me The Vulture smels a pray not the Carcases but the Cases of some of my deceassed Followers S'light I thinke it were my wisest course to put tenne poundes in stocke with him and turne pettie Broker certainelie there 's good to be done upon 't if we be but a day or two out of towne heele be able to load euerie day a fresh Horse with Satten suites and send them backe hither indeed t is like to be hot trauaile and therefore t'wilbe an case to my Followers to haue their cloathes at home afore 'am They le on get off how they can Little know they what Pikes their Feathers must passe Before they goe the Sergeants when they come home the Surgeons but chuse them I le wash my hands on 'am Exit FINIS ACTVS TERTII ACTVS QVARTI Saena prima Uandome solus MY Sisters Exequies are now performed VVith such pompe as exprest the excellence Of her Lords loue to her And firde the enuie Of our great Duke who would haue no man equall The honour he does t' his adored wife And now the Earle as he hath promist mee Is in this sad Cell of my honord Mistresse Vrging my loue to faire Euryone VVhich I framde onely to bring him abrode And if it might succeed make his affectes VVith change of obiectes change his helples sorrow To helpfull loue I stood where I obserud Their wordes and lookes and all that past betwixt them And shee hath with such cunning borne her selfe In fitting his affection with pretending Her mortified desires her onely loue To Vertue and her louers and in briefe Hath figurd with such life my deare dead Sister Enchasing all this with her heightned Beautie That I beleeue she hath entangld him And wonn successe to our industrious plot If he be toucht I know it greiues his soule That hauing vndertane to speake for mee Imagining my loue was as I fainde His owne loue to her should enforce his tongue To court her for himselfe and deceaue mee By this time we haue tried his passionate blood If he be caught as heauen vouchsafe he be I le play a little with his Phantasie Enter St. Anne S. Anne Am I alone Is there no Eye nor Eare That doth obserue mee Heauen how haue I graspt My Spirrits in my hart that would haue burst To giue wisht issue to any violent loue Dead Wife excuse me since I loue thee still That liu'st in her whom I must loue for thee For he that is not mou'd with strongest passion In viewing her that man did ne're know thee Shee 's thy suruiuing Image But woo's mee Why am I thus transported past my selfe Uan. Oh are your dull vxorious spirrits raisd One madnesse doth be another still St. Anne But stay Aduise mee Soule why didst thou light me ouer this threshold was 't to wrong my Brother To wrong my Wife in wronging of my Brother I le die a miserable man No villane Yet in this case of loue who is my Brother Who is my Father Who is any kinn I care not I am nearest to my selfe I will pursue my Passion I will haue her Uan. Traytor I heere arrest thee in the names Of Heauen and Earth and deepest Acheron Loues traytor Brothers traytor to thy Wife S. Anne O Brother stood you so neare my dishonour Had you forborne awhile all had been changd You know the variable thoughts of Loue You know the vse of Honour that will euer Retire into it selfe and my iust blood Shall rather flow with Honour then with Loue Be you a happie Louer I a friend For I will die for loue of her and thee Uand. My Lord and brother I le not challenge more In loue and kindnes then my loue deserues That you haue found one whom your hart can like And that One whom we all sought to preferre To make you happie in a life renewde It is a heauen to mee by how much more My hart imbrac't you for my Sisters loue T is true I did dissemble loue t'Euryone To make you happie in her deare affection Who more dotes on you then you can on her Enioy Euryone shee is
penurious his wit is to admire and imitate his grace is to censure and detract he shall to 'th Court yfaith hee shall thither I will shape such employement for him as that hee himselfe shall haue no lesse contentment in making myrth to the whole Court then the Duke and the whole Court shall haue pleasure in enioying his presence A knaue if hee be riche is fit to make an Officer As a Foole if hee bee a knaue is fit to make an Intelligencer Exeunt Actus secundi Scena prima Enter Digue Licette with Tapers Dig. What an order is this Eleuen a clooke at night is our Ladies morning and her houre to rise at as in the morning it is other Ladies houre these Tapers are our Sunnes with which we call her from her bed But I pray thee Licette what makes the virgin Ladie my Ladies sister breake wind so continually and sigh so tempestuously I beleeue shee s in loue Lycet. With whom can you tell Dig. Not very well but certes that 's her disease a man may cast her water in her face The truth is t' is no matter what she is for there is little goodnesse in her I could neuer yet finger one Cardicue of her bountie And indeed all bountie now adayes is dead amongst Ladies This same Bonitas is quite put downe amongst am But see Now we shall discouer the heauinesse of this virgine Ladie I le eauesdroppe and if it be possible heare who is her Louer For when this same amorous spirit possesses these young people they haue no other subiect to talke of Enter Marcellina and Euryone Eur. O sister would that matchlesse Earle euer haue wrongd his wife with iealousie Mar. Neuer Eury. Good Lord what difference is in men but such a man as this was euer seen to loue his wife euen after death so dearely to liue with her in death To leaue the world and all his pleasures all his friends and honours as all were nothing now his wife is gone is it not strange MAR. Exceeding strange EVRY But sister should not the noble man be Chronicled if he had right I pray you sister should he not Mar Yes yes he should EVRY But did you euer heare of such a Noble gentleman did you sister MAR I tell you no EVRY: And doe not you delight to heare him spoken of and prais'd and honord Doe you not Madame MAR. What should I say I doe EVRY: Why very well and should not euery woman that loues the Soueraigne honour of her Sexe delight to heare him praisd as well as wee Good Maddam answere hartely MAR Yet againe who euer heard one talke so EVRY Talk so Why should not euery Lady talke so You thinke belike I loue the Noble man Heauen is my iudge if I indeede his loue And honour to his Wife so after death Would make a Fayry loue him yet nor loue But thinke the better of him and sometimes Talke of his loue or so But you know Maddam I cald her sister and if I loue him It is but as my Brother I protest An other within VAND Let me come in Sir you myst not enter MAR. What rude disordred none is that within LYCIT I know not Maddam DIQ. How now SIC Wher 's my Lady MAR What hast with you SIC Maddame ther 's one at doore that askes to speake with you admittes no answere but will enforce his passage to your honor MAR. what insolent guest is that EVRY. Who should he be That is so ignorant of your worth and custome Enter an other Seruant 2 LEC. Maddam her sone hath drawne his rapier on vs and will come in he sayes MAR. T is is strange Rudenes What is his name doe you not know the man SIG. No Maddam t is too darke MAR. Then take a light See if you know him if not raise the streetes Exit LYCITTE walkes with a candle EVRY. And keepe the doore safe what night-walker this that hath not light enough to see his rudenes Enter LYCITTE in hast LYCYT. O Maddame t is the Noble gentleman Monsieur VANDOME your Seruant EVRY Is it he is he returnd MAR Hast commend me to him tel him I may not nor will not see him for I haue vowd the contrary to all LYCIT. Maddam we told him so a hundred times yet he will enter within Within Hold hold keepe him back there MAR: What rudenes what strange insolence is this Enter VANDOME VAND What hower is this what fashion what sad life What superstition of vnholy vow What place is this O shall it ere be said Such perfect Iudgement should be drownd in Humor Such beauty consecrate to Batts and Owles Here lyes the weapon that enforst my passage Sought in my loue sought in regard of you For whom I will indure a thousand deaths Rather then suffer you to perish thus And be the fable of the scornefull world Yf I offend you Lady kill me now MAR: What shall I say Ahlas my worthy Seruant I would to God I had not liu'd to be A fable to the worlde a shame to thee VAND Deare mistris hear me forbeare these humors MAR Forbeare your vaine disswasions VAND. shall your iudgement MAR. I will not heare a word EXIT MARD EXIT MARC VAND Strange will in women What sayes my honorable virgin sister How is it you can brooke this Batt-like life And sit as one withovt life EVRY Would I were If any man would kill me I 'de forgiue him VAN. O true fit of a maiden Melancholy Whence comes it louely sister EVR: In my minde Yourselfe hath small occasion to be meny That are arriud on such a haples Shore As beares the dead waight of so deare a Sister For whose decease being my deare Sister vow'd I shall for euer leade this desolate life VAN. Now heauen forbid women in Loue with women Loues fire shines with too mutuall a refraction And both wayes weakens his colde beames too much To pierce so deeply t is not for her I know that you are thus impassiond EVR: For her I would be sworne and for her husband VAN: I mary Sir a quick man may doe much In theise kinde of impressions EVR: See how Idely You vnderstand me theise same travallers That can liue any where make iests of any thing And cast so farre from home for nothing else But to learne how they may cast of their friends She had a husband does not cast her of so O t is a rare a Noble gentleman Well well there is some other Humor stirring In your young bloud then a dead womans Loue EVRY: No I le be sworne VAND Why is it possible That you whose frolicke brest was euer filde With all the spirits of a mirthfull Lady Shovld be with such a sorrow so transform'd Your most sweet hand in touch of Instruments Turnd to pick strawes and fumble vpon Rushes Your heauenly voice turnd into heauy sighes And your rare wit to in a manner tainted This cannot be I know some other cause Fashions
this strange effect and that my selfe Am borne to find it out and be your cure In any wound it forceth whatsoeuer But if you wil not tell me at your perill EVRY Brother VAND. Did you call EVRY: No 't is no matter VAND So then EVRY Doe you heare Assur'd you are my kind and honor'd Brother I le tell you all VAND O will you doe so then EVRY. you will be secret VAND Secret i st a secret EVRY No t is a triffle that torments one thus Did euer man aske such a question When he had brought a woman to this passe VAND What t is no Treason is it EVRY Treason quoth he VAND Well if it be I will engage my quarters With a faire Ladies ouen tell the secret EVRY Attending oftentimes the Duke Dutchesse To visit the most passionate Earle your Brother That Noble Gentleman VAND Well said put in that EVRY Put it in why y faith y' are such a man I le tell no further you are changed indeede A trauaile quoth you VAND Why what meanes this Come Lady fourth I would not loose the thankes The credit and the honor I shall haue For that most happy Good I know in Fate I am to furnish thy desires withall For all this house in Gold EVRY Thanke you good Brother Attending as I say the Duke and Dutchesse To the sad Earle VAND That noble gentleman EVRY Why I he not VAND Be shrew my hart else The Earle quoth you he cast not of his Wife EVRY Nay looke you now VAND Why does he pray EVRY Why no VAN. Foorth then I pray you louers are so captious EVRY: When I obseru'd his constance in Loue His honor of his deere wiues memory His woe for her his life with her in death I grew in loue euen with his very mind VAND O with his mind EVR: I by my soule no more VAND A good mind certainly is a good thing And a good thing you know EVR. That is the chiefe The body without that Ahlas is nothing And this his mind cast such a fier into me That it hath halfe consum'd me since it lov'd His Wife so dearely that was deere to me And euer I am saying to my selfe {non-Roman} {non-Roman} then happy should that woman be That had her honord place in his true loue But as for me I know I haue no reason To hope for such a honor at his hands VAND What at the Earles hands I thinke so indeede Heauen I beseech thee was your loue so simple T' nflame itselfe with him why hee 's a husband For any Princesse any Queene or Empresse The Ladies of this land would teare him peece-meale As did the drunken Froes the THRATIAN HARPER To mary but a lymbe a looke of him Heauens my sweet comfort Set your thoughts on him EVR. O cruell man dissembling trauailer Euen now you took vpon you to be sure It was in you to satisfie my longings And whatsoeuer t' were you would procure it O you were borne to doe me good you know You would not loose the credit and the honor You should haue by my satistaction For all this house in Gold the very Fates And you were all one in your power to help me And now to come and wonder at my folly Mocke me and make my Loue impossible Wretch that I was I did not keepe it in VAN. Alas poore sister when a greefe is growne Full home and to the deepest then it breakes And ioy Sunn like out of a black cloude shineth But couldst thou thinke yfaith I was in earnest To esteeme any man without the reach Of thy far-shooting beauties any name Too Good to subscribe to EVRIONE Here is my hand if euer I were thought A gentleman or would be still esteemd so I will so vertuously solicite for thee And with such cunning wind into his heart That I sustaine no doubt I shall dissolue His setled Melancholy be it nere so grounded On rationall loue and graue Philosophy I know my sight will cheere him at the heart In whom a quick forme of my deare deade Sister Will fire his heauy spirrits And all this May worke that change in him that nothing else Hath hope to ioy in and so farewel Sister Some few dayes hence I le tell thee how I speed EVR, Thankes honord Brother but you shall not goe before you dine with your best loued Mistris Come in sweet Brother VAND In to dinner now Midnight would blush at that farewell farewell EVR: Deere Brother doe but drinke or tast a Banquet y-faith I haue most excellent conserues You shall come in in earnest stay a little Or will you drinke some Cordial stilld waters After your trauel pray thee worthy brother Vpon my loue you shall stay sweet now enter VAND Not for the world commend my humble seruice And vse all meanes to bring abroad my Mistris EVR: I will in sadnes farewell happy brother Exeunt ¶ ENTER PHILLIP GVEAQ IERONNIME MVGERON GVEAQ IERO sit down to worke PHIL. Come MVGERON where is this worthy states man That you and Rhoderique would perswade To be our worthy Agent into France The couller we shal lay on it t' inter The body of the long deceased Countesse The French Kings neece whom her kind husband keepes With such great cost and care from buriall Will shew as probable as can be thought Thinke you he can be gotten to performe it MVG Feare not my Lo The wizzard is as forward To vsurpe greatnes as all greatnes is To abuse vertue or as riches honor You cannot loade the Asse with too much honor He shall be yours my Lord Rhoderique and I Will giue him to your highnes for your foote-cloth PHIL: How happens it he liud conceald so long MVG: It is his humor sir for he sayes still His iocund mind loues pleasure aboue honor His swindge of liberty aboue his life It is not safe sayes he to build his nest So neere the Eagle his mind is his Kingdome His chamber is a Court of all good witts And many such rare sparkes of Resolution He blesseth his most loued selfe withall As presently your excellence shall heare But this is one thing I had halfe forgotten With which your highnes needs must be prepar'd I haue discourst with him about the office Of an Ambassador and he stands on this That when he once hath kist your Highnes hand And taken his dispatch he then presents Your Highnes parson hath your place and power Must put his hat on vse you as you him That you may see before he goes how well He can assume your presence and your greatnes PHIL. And will he practise his new state before vs MVG: I and vpon you too and kisse your Dutchesse As you vse at your parting PHIL: Out vpon him she will not let him kisse her MVG: He will kisse her to doe your parson right PHIL: It will be excellent She shall not know this till he offer it MVG: See see he comes Enter Rhod
your owne The same that euer my deare Sister was And heauen blesse both your loues as I release All my faind loue and interest to you S. Anne How Noblie hath your loue deluded mee How iustlie haue you beene vniust to mee Let mee embrace the Oracle of my good The Aucthor and the Patron of my life Uand. Tush betwixt vs my Lord what need these tearmes As if we knew not one another yet Make speed my Lord and make your Nuptials short As they are sodaine blest in your desires S Anne Oh I wish nothing more then lightning hast Uan. Stay one word first my Lord You are a sweet brother To put in trust and woo loue for another S. Anne Pray thee no more of that Vand. Well then be gone my Lord her brother comes Exit S. Anne Enter Vaum. Vaum. Most happie Friend How hath our plot succeeded Uand. Hee 's our owne His blood was framde for euerie shade of vertue To rauish into true inamourate fire The Funerall of my Sister must be held With all solemnitie and then his Nuptialls With no lesse speed and pompe be celebrate Vaum. What wonders hath your fortunate spirrite vertues Wrought to our comforts Could you crowne th' enchantments Of your diuine Witte with another Spell Of powre to bring my Wife out of her Cell You should be our quicke Hermes our Alcides Uand. That 's my next lobour come my Lord your selfe Shall stand vnseene and see by next morns light Which is her Beddtime how my Braines-bould valoure Will rouse her from her vowes seueritie No Will nor Powre can withstand Pollicie Exit Enter D'oliue Pacque Dique D'ol. Welcome little Witts are you hee my Page Pacque here Makes choice of to be his fellow Coch-horse Diq. I am my Lord D'ol. What Countrie man Diq. Borne i' th Cittie Pac. But begot i' th Court I can tell your Lordship he hath had as good Court breeding as anie Impe in a Countrie If your Lordship please to examine him in anie part of the Court Accidence from a Noune to an Interiection I le vndertake you shall finde him sufficient D'ol. Saist thou so little Witt Why then Sir How manie Pronounes be there Diq. Faith my Lord there are more but I haue learned but three sorts the Goade the Fulham and the Stop-kater-tre which are all demonstratiues for heere they be There are Relatiues too but they are nothing without their Antecedents D'ol. Well said little Witt I'faith How manie Antecedents are there Diq. Faith my Lord their number is vncertaine but they that are are either Squires or Gentlemen vshers D'ol. Verie well said when all is done the Court is the onely Schoole of good education especially for Pages and Waighting women Paris or Padua or the famous Schoole of England called Winchester famous I meane for the Goose Where Schollers weare Petticoates so long till their Penn and Inckhorns knocke against their knees All these I say are but Belfries to the Bodie or Schoole of the Court Hee that would haue his Sonne proceed Doctor in three dayes let him sende him thither there 's the Porge to fashion all the parts of them There they shall learne the true vse of their good Partes indeed Pac. Well my Lord you haue said well for the Court What sayes your Lordshippe now to vs Courtiers Shall we goe the voyage D'ol. My little Hermophrodites I entertaine you heere into my Chamber and if need be nearer your seruice you know I will not promise Mountaines nor assure you Annuities of fourtie or fiftie Crownes in a word I will promise nothing but I will be your good Lord do you not doubt Diq. We do not my Lord but are sure you will shew your selfe Noble and as you promise vs nothing so you will Honorably keepe promise with vs and giue vs nothing D'ol. Prettie little Witt y'faith Can he verse Pac. I and sett too my Lord Hee 's both a Setter and a Verser D'ol. Prettie in faith but I meane has he a vaine Naturall Pac. O my Lord it comes from him as easelie Diq. As Suites from a Courtier without money or money from a Cittizen without securitie my Lord D'o. Wel I perceiue nature has suited your Witts I le suite you in Guarded coates answerable to your Witts for Witt 's as sutable to guarded Coates as Wisedome is to welted Gownes My other Followers Horse themselues my selfe will horse you And now tell me for I will take you into my bosome What 's the opinion of the many headed Best touching my new adition of Honour Diq. Some thinke my Lord it hath giuen you adition of pride and outer euidance D'ol. They are deceaued that thinke so I must confesse it would make a Foole proude but for me I am semper idem Pac. We beleeue your Lordship D'ol. I finde no alteration in my selfe in the world for I am sure I am no wiser then I was when I was no Lord nor no more bountifull nor no more honest onely in respect of my state I assume a kinde of State to receiue Suters now with the Nodd of Nobilitie not as before with the Cappe of courtesie the knee of Knighthood And why knee of Knighthood little Witte there 's another Question for your Court Accidence Diq. Because Gentlemen or Yoemen or Pessantes or so receiue Knighthood on their knees Pac. The signification of the Knee of Knighthood in Heraldie an 't please your Lordship is that Knights are tyed in honour to fight vp to the knees in blood for the defence of faire Ladyes D'ol. Verie good but if it be so what honour doe they deserue that purchase their Knighthood Diq. Purchase their Knighthood my Lord Mary I thinke they come truely by 't for they pay well for 't D'ol. You cut mee off by the knees little Witte but I say if you will heare mee that if they deserue to be Knighted that purchase their Knighthood with fighting vp to the knee What doe they deserue that purchase their Knighthood with fighting aboue the knee Pac. Mary my Lord I say the purchase is good if the conueyance will hold water D'ol. VVhy this is excellent by heauen twentie poundes annuitie shal not purchase you from my heeles But foorth now VVhat is the opinion of the world touching this new Honour of mine Doe not Fooles enuie it Diq. No my Lord but wise men wonder at it you hauing so buried your wisedome heretofore in Tauerns and Vaultinghouses that the world could neuer discouer you to be capable of Honour D'ol. As though Achilles could hide himselfe vnder a Womans clothes was he not discouered at first This Honor is like a Woman or a Crocadile chuse you whether it flies them that follow it and followes them that flie it For my selfe how euer my worth for the time kept his bedd yet did I euer prophecie to my selfe that it would rise before the Sun-set of my dayes I did euer dreame that this head was borne to beare a breadth this shoulder to