continual fresh Communications from his infinite fulness must needs make our subjective Happiness to be always new and eternally such Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my diligent Endeavours after a greater meetness to injoy so great a Bliss And to that end consider whether any of those happy Souls who have finisht their Course and obtained the Prize do now regret their utmost Diligence Patience and Perseverance during their short abode here to secure the Blessedness of an endless Life No no they are far from repenting the Time they spent the Trouble they were at the Care they used the Difficulties they met with the Sufferings they indured to conflict with the World and the Flesh to resist Temptation to watch over their Hearts and Words and Ways to work out their Salvation to please God and be faithful to him c. They find to their unspeakable Comfort and everlasting Joy that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their coming thither Yea they find that they were not Diligent and Humble and Patient and Circumspect enough That they did not love God and seek his Glory redeem their Time and improve all their Talents and Opportunities of doing and receiving Good and give up themselves intirely to prepare for Heaven to that degree they should have done They find by the transcendency of the blessed Recompence that it deserved infinitely more than the most Active Zealous Christian upon Earth did ever do in order to it Lord quicken my Resolutions and Endeavours by such thoughts as these Inspire my sluggish carnal Heart with holy Light and Life and Zeal and Fervour that looking to the things which are not seen which are Eternal I may * 1 Tim. 1.19 lay up a good Foundation against the Time to come and so lay hold of eternal Life But alas How much have I neglected the great Duty of Holy Meditation How little skill and experience have I in it How tastless and insipid oftentimes are my Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady how little Pleasure or Advantage have I by contemplating his highest Excellencies Yet methinks could I but retain the same awakened lively thoughts of Heaven and Eternal Life which sometimes I have had might I continually feel the sweet and sacred Influence as for a little season I have sometimes felt it how little how very a Nothing would all this World be to me how comparatively weak its strongest and most alluring Snares to draw me off from God! with what an unshaken mind could I refuse and resist ' em with what an unconcerned indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory Could I maintain such a frame of Spirit as I have sometimes had for a little while in the serious Contemplation of Divine Mysteries in Fervent Prayers and other Solemn Duties of Religion when the acts of Faith were strong and lively my Heart set on fire with love to God and holy breathings after him admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sinners and to my Soul in particular when he brought me to the very Suburbs of Heaven tho alas how seldom by the delightful Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above injoy in being where Christ is and beholding his Glory when I was ready to say within my self 'T is good to be here this is no other than the Gate of Heaven Oh when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations how quickly did my lazy backward Heart fly off how soon did the flame decay and dye away how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth again sunk down from the Bosom of my Lord presently forgot my self and Heaven to dwell among the Pots and imbrace a Dunghill 'T was not on my own Wings O Lord that I soared so high but I hope by the breathings of that holy Spirit of Light and Love who bloweth when and where and how long he listeth Who gave me at any time any such first fruits of the Spirit who convinc't me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance by a lively believing foresight of it who made me earnestly desire the Wings of a Dove to be gone and appear before God in Sion made me Pant and Groan to be delivered and to be with God and Christ with inexpressible Desire and Joy unconceivably mixt with Sighs and Groans O my God! let not this experience be only such a Taste of the Powers of the World to come as is consistent with final Apostacy only the seeming Zeal of the stony Ground the rapturous Joy of an Hypocrite from the Power of Imagination and a heated Fancy from the workings of meer natural Self-love upon mistaken apprehensions of God and a false Opinion of Heaven but by the holy effects let me be assured of the Cause and Principle that it was of God! Teach me from the sweetness of a Spiritual Communion with God now in any of his appointed Ordinances to argue to my self what that most ravishing Satisfaction will be that the Enjoyment of God in Heaven will afford the Soul. Our Holiness is now imperfect to what it shall be and therefore our Consolation Peace and Joy is but in part and incomparably less than we are assured it will be when we shall be admitted to behold the Glory of the Lord. 'T is now at most but as the Break of Day to the Lustre of the Meridian Sun. But if in this low imperfect State we can sometimes obtain so near a View of his Glory and feel such sweet Communications of his Grace how much more of this Consolation and Joy is reserved to Heaven If in this Pilgrim State the Gifts and Graces and Comforts of the Holy Spirit are so refreshing O! what hath God prepared beyond the Grave for those who love him If now he sometimes shed abroad his love in our Heart after such a manner how much better shall I love him and feel the influence and evidence of his Love to me when I shall be with him and see him Face to Face If the apprehensions of this future Blessedness do now encourage raise and animate my drooping Soul O what shall I know and see And how shall I rejoyce when the Vail is removed If a Sacramental Communion with God and Jesus Christ be sometimes so sweet and so affecting what will the Blessed Communion with God and all his Saints above amount to when I shall sit down with all the Children of God in the Presence of the Bridegroom at the last great Supper of the Lamb in Glory If the Earnest of our Inheritance be so reviving what will be the full Possession of it If the Hopes of that glorious Day by holy Meditation be so transporting what will be the end of our Faith and Hope If a Grape or two in the Wilderness be such a Cordial what will be the whole Vintage in the Land of Promise Shall I after all
this forget my own Experience and run from God and Heaven to imbrace or seek a perishing Toy Shall I hide my self with Saul among the Stuff and Lumber of this World when God is calling me to a Glorious Crown Art thou O my Soul a King's Son an Heir of Heaven an expectant of such great Felicity and yet stoop so low Hope for Heaven and yet grasp this Earth and hug the vain Appearances of earthly Good Hope to be like to God and oh how Glorious an Hope is that to partake of his Image and live Eternally with him and yet be sollicitous anxious and disquieted about Honour and Money and a Temporal Interest And mightily concerned about the momentany Gratifications of the Flesh and the Injoyments of this World Art thou a Pilgrim and Stranger here and travelling home to the Heavenly Country and yet eager and passionate about earthly Things Should an Heart that is set upon Heaven or may be so and ought to be so should it burn with such Kitchin such common Fire And neglect the unconceivable Riches and Pleasures and immortal Honours of the other Life and the dawnings of that Glory upon my Soul by the foretasts of it in this How great is the disproportion between the Heavens and the Earth How vast the Circumference of the one and how small a Point the other How many thousand Miles doth the Sun travel in the Heavens while it passeth but one Inch upon a Dial Oh that my Affections were carried to heavenly Things with a swiftness somewhat answerable to the glorious Object And let their motion to earthly Things be rather slow and insensible like that of the Sun on a Dial. Since I profess to believe and wait for the heavenly Glory should I not live as seeking such things as expecting such a Glory And are careless and indifferent Thoughts sleepy heartless Prayers faint and weak Endeavours becoming in such a case Shall I not mend my Pace and double my Diligence in my preparatory Work When I can believingly foresee the blessed Recompence waiting for that Everlasting Light of the Sun of Righteousness which no Eclipse shall ever darken or obscure for that Eternal Glorious Day which shall never be closed with an Evening When I shall see the Face of God in Christ and be like him participate more of his Image rest in his Love and dwell for ever in the Light of his Countenance according to the Prayer and Promise of my Blessed Saviour And ought not such a prospect to sweeten the Bitterness of all our intermediate Sufferings We are now oftentimes in Heaviness and Sorrow but Eternity will be enough for an interrupted Joy. When we shall exchange all our Troubles for everlasting Rest our Prisons for perfect Liberty our Poverty for the Riches of God Darkness for Light discord for Love Deformity for Beauty our Weaknesses and present Languishings for Strength and Vigor Folly for Wisdom Disgrace for Glory Sickness and Pain for eternal Ease and Health the Animal for the Angelical Life Imperfection and Pollution for consummate Holiness our Sighs and Tears and Sorrows and Complaints for triumphant Everlasting Praise our Losses Affronts Disappointments Perplexities Fears Groans and Death for Crowns and Scepters Hymns and Hallelujahs Light and Life and Bliss unutterable and such great things as are fit for us to hope but too great to be now particularly understood and talkt of while we know but in part and see through a Glass darkly yea it seems as if it were not lawful to utter 'em 2 Cor. 12.4 and now they cannot be exprest or fully known for Eye hath not seen or Ear heard or can it enter into the Heart of man to conceive that prepared Glory XXI A devout Meditation upon the 73. Psalm 25. Whom have I in Heaven but thee And there is none upon Earth that I desire besides thee WHat is there in Heaven or in Earth O Lord but thy Presence to be valued loved desired chosen sought or delighted in There is nothing in either World desirable without Thee nothing certainly above Thee nothing in Comparison with Thee In Thee alone I trust on Thee I depend in Thee I repose my Confidence and Hope from Thee I expect all my Felicity and Salvation What ever I can lose yet with the continuance of thy Favour which is my Life I have still Enough With that I am Rich without it I am Poor and Miserable And if I want the Love of God all that Heaven and Earth can give besides will not make me Happy In Thee therefore I would terminate all my Affections all my Devotions There is nothing of Heaven to be had on Earth but in thy Favour Image and Love and the reviving Sense of it And all the Heaven I expect hereafter 't is in the more full and immediate Communications of these in thy blessed Presence I can desire nothing upon Earth I can injoy nothing in Heaven but Thee both here and there thou art and shalt ever be my all-sufficient satisfactory Portion my Everlasting All None else can be the Portion of my Soul. Nothing else can fill up all its Wants answer all its Cravings be suited to all its Capacities appease and charm all its restless Motions and give complacence to all its Desires and be the proper Object of all its Affections What is there else can justly claim my Love or pretend to my supreme Affection in comparison with God Thou art alone the proper Center of it Thine infinite and incomparable Excellencies who art Love it self deserve my choicest Love and thy numberless Mercies and Benefits challenge it as a just Debt as a piece of Homage due from all and of special Gratitude also from me Oh that I could love thee above all things who alone art worthy of all my Love O that Divine Love might be the ruling Principle within me to inspire all my Thoughts to regulate all my desires to set all the Powers of my Soul on Work O that it might take the full Possession of my Heart and so animate and order all my Actions to please him whom my Soul loveth If as yet I cannot say with thine Apostle Lord thou that knowest all things thou knowest that I Love thee Yet I can say Lord thou knowest that I would Love thee Thou hast provided for our Happiness by that first and great Command of loving thee with all our Hearts and Souls and Strength But alas how backward is my sluggish carnal Heart to this delightful Exercise Tho I have so oft been told that God is Love and that he that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God and God in him O shed abroad thy Love into my Soul that I may feel the vital Power and Influence of it and live continually in the Love of God and that nothing may ever be able to separate me from it Whom have I in Heaven or Earth to Hope in but Thee I expect more from Creatures than they can or will perform but God
can do for me more abundantly than I can ask or think exceed my largest thoughts out-strip my highest Expectations And no man was ever disappointed who made Thee his Hope When I meet with Crosses and Wrongs Unfaithfulness Contempt Hatred and Persecution from Men I need not wonder I was never told by God it would be otherwise here Did I look for less from Creatures and expect more from God Did I reckon this World to be a state of Trial and not a place of Rest and Satisfaction My Faith and my Desires would be stronger with respect to God and Heaven and temporal Calamities and Disappointments less afflictive and vexatious And what is there O Lord in Heaven or in Earth my Soul can desire besides Thee Is there any thing desirable but as it is thine of thee and from thee And bears some Impression of thine Excellence or brings some Intimation of thy Love And what can I reasonably desire what that is worth desiring or having but thou art able to be and do and give In whom or what shall I Rejoyce but in Thee O Lord shall I solace my self in transitory Goods that slip between my Fingers and perish in the Using or relish carnal Joys which pollute and debase the Soul When I may and ought to Rejoyce in Thee at all Times as the only Source of perfect Everlasting Joy. Let me then stir up my drooping desponding unbelieving Heart to rejoyce in God who takes Pleasure in the chearful Service and Obedience of his Children who delighteth in those who delight in him Is not * Vid. Mr. Howe Of Delighting in God. Delighting in God a most essential vital part of Religion Should it not be my constant Frame Hath not God sufficiently provided that it may be so Can I say and believe that God is the Portion of my Soul that he is my God and I hope to live with him for ever and not Rejoyce Or can I consider the Grace of the new Covenant the matchless Love of Christ and the precious Promises of the Gospel and not see reason to Rejoyce Yea doth my Soul love God and endeavour to please him and is not the very Act and Exercise of holy Love mixt with unspeakable sweetness Whom is there in Heaven or in Earth or Hell that I ought to Fear but Thee Who hast a negative Voice in all the Designs of Men and Devils an hook in their Nostrils a Bridle in their Mouths to make them fulfil thy Pleasure and in every thing accomplish thy Soveraign Decree Is there any other in whom I may repose my Trust but in Thee O Lord the Rock of Ages The might of thy Power the unsearchableness of thy Wisdom the righteousness of thy Nature the stability of thy Truth the riches of thy Grace and the immutability of thy Promise are a sure foundation for my Soul to trust to and rely upon Thy word stands firm for ever and the Truth of thine ability and readiness to help in every time of need endures the same throughout all Generations At all times and in all places my soul may trust in thee and find relief And they who know thy name will do so for in the Lord Jehovah is Everlasting Kindness and Strength To answer all my doubts to supply all my wants to fill all my desires May not God take it unkindly that I trust him no more And is it not a criminal unkindness that I give him not the glory of all these Excellent Attributes which are the grounds of Trust by a constant steady intire dependance on him for all that I need I have none in Heaven but Thee O Lord as the object of my Invocation and Worship Let other Christians have recourse to new Mediators and call upon other Gods I will make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only And ask of thee whatsoever I need for the sake of thy Christ my only adorable Mediator Him thou hearest alway with him thou art always well pleased I honour the holy Angels as glorious Attendants about thy Throne and bless thee for them as Ministring Spirits for the good of thy Servants but I dare not invoke or worship 'em because they are Fellow Servants On the same account I honour the memory of Departed Saints but neither invoke them or pay them religious worship That Glory thou wilt not give unto another I have no precept in Holy Scripture to direct no promise to encourage no Example to authorize the invocation of any other but Thee in whom I believe and trust Rom. 10.14 Having such a God in Heaven what can I need on Earth His Eyes behold me his Wing is over me his Hand can supply me his Grace provide for me I can want nothing that is Good unlese I should need somewhat which God the infinitely Blessed and Allsufficient God cannot bestow If thou art the Portion of my Soul all mine Enemies cannot make me miserable unless they can void Heaven of the presence of God hinder his care bind up his hand or obstruct his Love. But tho my Enemies cannot I fear my Sins may They alone can separate between God and my Soul. And considering the multitude and aggravations of them and thine unspotted Holiness and Justice I should have too much reason to fear and tremble yea and utterly despair If I had none in Heaven but Thee But thy word assures me that I have a Mediator there a faithful and a compassionate High Priest Jesus Christ the Righteous whom thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins Who lives for ever in Heaven to make Intercession till he hath brought me there to behold his Glory and partake of it That Glory O Lord thou hast reserved for Heaven in this world we only desire believe and hope to injoy it Whom have I in Heaven That is the place of Fruition What can I desire upon Earth This world is the place of Desires as the other of full Injoyment Most of that which men call Injoyment in this Life consists but in Desire Desire or Lust is all that is in the wicked world 1 John 2. c. 13. the Riches of a Covetous worldling makes him desire more and the great mystery of Intemperance is to create and increase desires and Desires of another kind are the portion of good men in this world O that I could breathe after a state of perfect Fruition in Heaven with more importunate desires Who will give me to be in Heaven with Thee On Earth I desire nothing So one version Let me O my Soul think of Heaven as such a place or state of blessed Injoyment speak of it seek it long for it prepare for it as such And let Jesus Christ who is the desire of all Nations through whom all Divine Communications are made to fallen Sinners be the great object of my present desires and love Let me desire nothing but as in him and for him that believing
my loss Quicken my preparations by following their Piety to meet them in thy Heavenly Kingdom Let thy long-suffering lead me to Repentance and suffer me not to slight thy warning by the Death of others to expect my own Lord cure my Earthly-mindedness and practical unbelief and by all such admonitions of thy Providence teach me to possess and use this World as knowing I must shortly leave it and let not the thoughts of my Mortality wear off assoon as the Funeral of my Friends is over Every year some or other of our Acquaintance drop into the Grave we attend them thither and lament it may be for a few days their departure and removal but consider not that others will e're be long do the same for us it may before this year is ended Oh how soon do we forget our deceased Friends and our selves who are likewise dying and count upon a long Life which we cannot reasonably expect and hug the enjoyments of this transitory World as if our present state would last for ever Will nothing but our own dissolution effectually convince us of our mistake and folly in this particular Though the Arrows of Death flye continually round about us sometimes over our Heads when Superiours are taken away sometimes fall at our Feet when Children and Servants and Inferiours die sometimes on our Left hand when an Enemy is cut off and while I am pleased with that in that very hour it may be another Arrow on our Right hand strikes the Friend of our Bosom and Delight And can we see all this that great and small high and low friends and foes are all Vanity and drop down dead round about us and shall we not consider that we are as Vain as they and must shortly follow Shall we not by a Christian Chymistry extract Spirits out of these dead Bones and by these Examples learn the End of all Men and lay it to Heart Whenever I see the Funeral of another let me think thus with my self why might not I have been that Man or Woman that is now carried to the Grave If we had been compared a few days since 't is probable I should have been thought as likely to have been his Monitor by dying first as he mine By such an improvement of these warnings the request of the rich Man to Abraham were in great measure granted for 't is a call from the dead that speaks loudly to us to consider our selves and prepare in time for so great a change and say as the Prophet to Hezekiah Set thine house in order for thou shalt dye Can we look upon a Deaths Head and not remember what we shall shortly be may not much be learnt from its common Motto Sum quod Eris Fueramque quod Es. I am that which thou shalt shortly be and have been that which thou art now that is I have been as gay and jocund as brisk and merry as proud and vain as rich and great as careless and secure as honourable and as much esteemed as beautifull and as well beloved as witty and as learned as Thou art or canst be now I valued my self as much upon my Estate and Trade and health and beauty upon my Education Profession Imployments Parts Friends Family c. as thou hast ever done or canst do I lived in ease and pleasure in mirth and jollity I minded the World as much and indulged my self as much in sensuality and was as careful of my Body pampered and pleased my Flesh as much as thou and thought as little of a sudden Death and prepared as little for such a change as thou dost but now my dry Bones are lookt upon with contempt and scorn but thou shalt shortly return to dust and be as vile as I am It cannot but affect us did we consider it to see divers snatch'd away in their Youth and outward Prosperity and in the midst of their Sin and Folly without any visible signs of true Repentance Or in terrible anguish and horror for their past crimes And yet how few do take the warning carefully to prevent the like unhappiness O Lord preserve those strong Convictions those serious Thoughts those holy Resolutions those lively Apprehensions of the Life to come of the Evil of sin and the Terrors of thy wrath which the Sight of dying persons hath at any time awakened in my soul O the Eloquence of a dying Sinner to persuade to Repentance Even when he hath lost his Speech and lies gasping and trembling on a bed of sickness breathing out his last faint breath and passing into the other world to answer for the crimes and follies of a wicked Life Lord revive these thoughts upon my soul and let me feel the power and influence of them in the hour of Temptation and in every time of need And let the consideration of the death of Believers the Blessedness they are thereby entred into and the Holiness they are possessed of quicken my desires and diligence to prepare to follow When I think where they are and what they are doing what is their work and what their state what their continual imployment and what their Injoyments and how different from ours I cannot but wish to be with them to be as they are and do as they do to know and love and praise God as they They are not hindred by such a clog as this Body is to us or tempted by their senses appetite and fancy to sin against him they complain not of a seducing flesh unruly passions low and disordered thoughts of Temporal Afflictions spiritual Desertions the snares of the World and the malice and subtility of the Devil We who are Pilgrims and Travellers are exposed to these difficulties and storms which they are freed from They are now rejoycing in the light of Gods countenance and shall never question his love more while we are in Tears and Sorrows groaning to be delivered But think O my soul that They were lately such as We are now They were members of the militant Church before they entred into Joy and Triumph They had their conflicts and difficulties their hour of Temptation and time of trial as we have ours They were slandered and persecuted and sadned and disappointed as their Followers are They went to Heaven the same way and got the victory after the same manner by Repentance and Faith and humble persevering Obedience They were once imperfect as we are now and complained of the Body of Sin and Death and struglings of unmortified lust as we do And were sometimes in the dark about their interest in the promise and walked heavily by the hiding of Gods face and indured Temptation even as we And as we have nothing to do or suffer but what they met with we have the same encouragement that administred to their support the same God and Saviour the same way and rule the same assistance by the aids of his H. Spirit offered to us the same promises and the same rewards proposed
but by dying and my Saviour hath dyed for me and he that believes in him shall never see death He lives who was once dead yea he lives for evermore and hath promised that I shall be with him to behold his Glory He hath the Keys of Death and Hell He is the Resurrection and the Life he hath removed the sting of Death and I need not fear a conquered Enemy If I dye this Year I must quit the Company of all my dearest Friends on Earth but I shall go to better Company above and if they are the Friends of Christ we shall shortly meet again and love one another in a better manner than now and never more be parted I may dye this Year my Friends and Enemies may dye too Let me enjoy the one as mortal dying Persons that must e're long leave me or I them and not fear the other who may so soon Perish and quickly be uncapable of doing me or others Mischief I may dye this Year let me not then think much of Temporal Sufferings of any Evils which may so soon be over Oh what would condemned Sinners in the other World give to be able to believe and say so of their Sufferings I may dye this Year and can I wonder that I am sometimes Sick and in Pain and that my Body is out of order Am I not Mortal and dwell in an house of Clay which must shortly moulder into Dust and is it any thing strange that such a crasy Building doth sometime shake and need repair and threaten a dissolution 'T is a greater wonder I am any time well That such a Body compounded of so many little parts and so easily disordered by innumerable accidents should be in Health is hardly less to be admired than that an Instrument of a thousand strings should be kept in Tune I thank thee O Heavenly Father for the many advantages of Sickness to weaken the power of Sin to humble my Pride and cure my Worldliness and Sensuality to reduce me from wandering to empty me of Self-conceit to awaken the consideration of Death and Judgment to impress the Thoughts of the Vanity of this World and the Eternity of the next to assist me to mortifie the Flesh to rule my Passions to exercise Patience and quicken Prayer and try my Faith and Love and excite my diligence to redeem Time and convince me of the Worth and Uncertainty of it and thereby promote my Preparations for my final change The Great Apostle by dying daily had as many victories over this World as he lived Days Oh that I might so far walk by the same Rule as every day to think of providing for my last and in Health to do that which in Sickness I shall wish I had done I may dye this Year It may be by some tedious painful Sickness some troublesome and loathsome Disease But God hath promised his Grace shall be sufficient he will make my Bed in my Sickness and put under his everlasting Arms for my support and not suffer me to be tempted above what I am able he will encrease my Patience and carry me thro' the pangs of Death and the dark valley and when Heart and Flesh fail be the strength of my Heart and my Portion for Ever I may dye this year What if it should be by an hand of Violence if for Righteousness sake in defence of the Truth for a good Cause and a good Conscience and my Peace be made with God and I am accused for doing well or innocent of the Evil which is laid to my charge there is ground enough for encouragement and support Thousands of my Betters have met with the like whose names are precious and renowned Innumerable Christians have dyed by the Sentence of a Judge with more Chearfullness and Joy than others or it may be than they themselves would have done by the sentence of the Physician The Torture of many Diseases is unspeakably more formidable as to the meer Pain and for all else the Righteous Lord who loveth Righteousness will clear my Integrity if it may best subserve his own Great and Holy ends at least he will stand by and help me when all forsake me and if he speak Peace and give inward Consolation who can speak Trouble and his final Judgment which is near at hand will distribute rewards and Punishments to all according to their works Suppose farther that I should want a Sepulcher after Death There is nothing I could better be without If God receive my Soul and will raise my Body at the last day whether it putrifie and consume under ground or above it is no great matter They who are alive will be more concerned in that than I shall be Graves are for the sake of the Living rather than the Dead The Sun the Rain the Air Birds Beasts Worms will all contribute to give me Burial if Men deny it The only difference is that it will be a little longer ere I am buried If my Soul rest in the Bosom of my Saviour and by persevering in the love and practice of the Truth I have secured my Reputation with wise and good Men I need not be sollicitous what become of my Body My Almighty Judge will raise me a glorious Body like his own and reunite it to my Soul As easily as certainly as for any of those whose Bodies were preserved in Caves and Vaults in proud Sepulchers and under stately Monuments I may dye this Year and shall not then have the satisfaction to see my Children or nearest Kindred educated and provided for setled and disposed of But is not the Everliving God the same cannot he as well take care of them when I am gone as now answer all my Prayers after my decease and exercise that Fatherly Care Wisdom and Love which shall dispose of their conditions save them from Temptations and supply all their wants and exceed all my desires in reference to them and fulfill his Covenant promise from Generation to Generation to the Childrens Children of them that fear him O how weak is my Faith that cannot trust God in so common and plain a case Lastly I may dye this Year and not live to see the ruin of the Antichristian Kingdom and Interest and the accomplishment of many Excellent Promises which concern the Rest and Peace and Purity and Glory of the Churches of Christ on earth in the latter days But have I not deserved by my provoking Unbelief Ingratitude and Disobedience to dye in the Wilderness and not behold behold the promised Land or see the Peace of Jerusalem and will not the struglings of Satan to support Babylon infer a dismal night of darkness and distress before the expected Morning of Deliverance so that it may now if ever be truly said Henceforth Blessed are the Dead who dye in the Lord. And if God will take me to himself in the other World I cannot possibly be a loser tho' I should not see the Beginnings of a
I not been told by Heathens as well as Christians that 't is not the length of time but its improvement that doth really make a Long Life If I have answered the ends for which I were born 't is not too soon to dye No Man ever miscarried as to his Everlasting Interest because his Life was short but Evil. He that is prepared for Death he that dies in the Lord hath lived long enough and should thank God for a speedy call to the possession of that Felicity which the Holiest Saints on Earth desire and breath after Gideon lost nothing by returning from Victory while the Sun was yet high He hath fought long enough who hath gained the Victory If I have wrought but a few hours in a Vineyard and done but a little Service for my Lord and Master and yet am dismist and rewarded before the rest of my Fellow Labourers shall I repine and think my Lord doth not befriend me If he hath any farther Service for me he will prolong my days and make me diligent I hope and contented Otherwise I pray he would make me ready to dye and make me willing and desirous to depart this Life For to be only content to dye that I may be perfectly Holy and fully Blessed is methinks too low for a Christian who acts like himself believing the Certainty of his avowed Principles and Hopes and knowing that while we are present in the Body we are absent from the Lord. XVI The contemplation of our approaching Change may assist us to mortifie the Lusts of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life to cure Ambition and promote Contentment ALL that is in the World saith the Apostle is the Lust of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life The Dust and Ashes of our own Mortality duly considered and applied will help to deaden and extinguish each of these By Pride of Life we lift up our selves against Heaven and despise our Maker by the lust of the Flesh we overlove and indulge the Body and study to gratifie the sensual Appetite by the lust of the Eyes our Desires are immoderate after Temporal and External Goods the thought of our approaching end hath a tendency to oppose and mortifie these Lusts to humble us before God to take us off from the inordinate love of the Body and to moderate our Passions to Earthly Things It may help us against Pride by shewing us the infinite distance between the Eternal self-sufficient God and such poor Dust as we who are but of yesterday and if he uphold us not and maintain our Souls in Life shall be laid in the dust to morrow It will mind us of his Justice against Sin the Parent of Death and of all the miseries of our mortal State and convince us of our weakness to resist his Will or avoid his Wrath. As to our fond Affection to the Body it may instruct us that it deserves not to be so much accounted of it will open our Eyes to discern the Preference of our immortal Souls and what concerns them to the interest of a perishing Body It may convince us that we are Cruel and unkind to our very Bodies by overloving them because we thereby contribute to their Eternal Sufferings and so teach us to love and use our Bodies as Servants to our Souls in this World and as expecting to share in Glory with them after the Resurrection It may also help to moderate our Desires after Earthly Good and so cure the Lust of the Eyes by letting us see the vanity uncertainty and short duration of these things and their insufficiency to make us Happy and give us true Content The Thoughts of an approaching Change may if any thing will do it damp the mirth of the Luxurious Epicure and strike him into a fit of trembling as did Belshazzar's handwriting on the wall It may discover the distraction of living in Pleasure and of care to please the Senses and the fleshly Appetite when the End is so near It may likewise check the folly of Ambitious Designs that Men should make so much ado to get into slippery places from whence they may so easily fall Where being puft up with vain applause they forget themselves and their latter end till their Life and Glory expire together Where are now the Great and Mighty and Honourable who have made such a noise in the world What is now the Difference between the Dust of an Alexander or Caesar and that of their meanest Slaves or Captives Could their Dignities and earthly Glory preserve any of them from the stroke of Death or the Judgment of God or without Repentance from his condemning Sentence Think O my Soul how little it will shortly signifie whether I have been known and honoured among Men or no any farther than God may be glorified by it How should it suppress vain Glory to think of being one day esteemed and worshipt reverenced and applauded by dying Men and laid in the Grave the next Let me rather seek that Glory and Honour to which Immortality is annext and labour to be accepted with God at whose Bar I most be judged endeavouring to keep the testimony of a good Conscience and then it is not much whether I pass through good Report or evil Report no contempt or frowns or threatnings of Men need then discourage me Tho' I should be trampled on by the foot of Pride while others are happy in a dream for a little while and it may be have a prosperous passage to damnation I 'le rather thank God for delivering me from their Temptations and giving me the opportunity and call to hasten my Preparations for a better World. Let God dispose of my Condition here and Reputation too as best shall please his Sovereign Will only be pleased to keep me upright and to preserve me from everlasting Shame and Confusion of Face after the general Resurrection and final Judgment Vouchsafe me a Portion now in thine approving Love and own me for Thine at last in the Great and terrible Day of Reckoning that then I may hear the Blessed Euge and enter into my Lord's Joy XVII The same Argument considered farther as dissuasive from Worldliness and Earthly mindedness and as proper to confute the vanity of long Projects and great Designs for this World. ARE the Years of my Life but few and they hastening to a Period and may this be my last Let me not then greedily covet Riches and abundance and waste my little time to scrape together large Provisions for many years to come when I have no assurance to see the end of this Is it becoming such a belief to toyl from day to day that I may lay up that which I must so soon leave as if I were to spend an Eternity here on Earth and in the mean while neglect the one thing necessary Am I not upon the shore of Eternity May not the next Tide carry me off And shall I
Lust before his favour and the Pleasures and Profits of this World before the Heavenly Glory and notwithstanding all the methods of his Grace and the checks of his Providence and of their own Conscience they will go on they will Dye Let me O my Soul adore the Soveraign Justice of God in all his Judgments and tremble at the threatnings of that Eternal Wrath which so few consider or believe till 't is too late Let the foresight and the fear of such an intollerable endless Punishment be a means to save me from it Let me herein read the evil of Sin and learn to abhor and avoid it Let me pity and warn and counsel and pray for those of my Relations and Acquaintance who live in Sin and run the hazard of this Eternal Ruin. Let me not envy the foolish Mirth and momentany Prosperity of the Wicked whose present joy must ere long expire and an everlasting Destruction succeed in its room (k) Joh. 20. ch 4 5. How short is the Joy of the Hypocrite and the triumph of the Wicked is but for a Moment Let me fear and dread every thing that leads to this dismal issue and improve every thing that may help me to escape it And by consequence let me less value all the Good and Evil of this present Life judge of all things by this light be patient under temporal Calamities and thank God that it is not Hell and thank him more that present sufferings do help to save me from Eternal ones Whatever I can suffer in this World let my condition be never so dark and sad and afflicted it is not it cannot be such but that every one of the Damned would think it an infinite Happiness to exchange with me and be as I am Let me think of those exquisite and eternal Flames to cure my Impatience under the sharpest Trials and Afflictions I may now suffer Did I believingly consider an Everlasting Hell * Qui non expergiscitur ad haec Tonitrua jam non dormit sed mortuus est S. Augustin I should not think much of any thing that is required to prevent it The severest exercises of Religion the strictest Temperance the nicest Chastity the largest Charity the greatest Self-denial all the hardships of Repentance and Mortification and continuance therein to the Death tho for many years more than I am like to live would be reckon'd easie as well as just if set in the ballance against the Eternal Mischiefs of the Damned What will not men do and suffer to prevent a Temporal Death They will endure a painful course of Physick tear out their very bowels by Purges and Vomits and are content to be cut and scarrified and to suffer any thing almost to save their lives But how little will they do to be saved from the wrath to come One would think they should have no Rest or Peace or be able to live a quiet hour till they had made some Provision against the hazard of this Eternal Destruction and look upon all men as their Friends or Enemies according to the help or hindrance they received from them in reference to it But the direct Contrary is every where apparent Men are careless and secure jovial and merry in the way that leads to Hell and esteem and love and chuse that Company that will help to bring them to this place of torment Yea such is their stupidity and strange perverseness that they will not suffer to be told of their Danger If you tell them that by such a Course or such an Action they will lose so much Money or their Lives will be in danger they reckon it an obligation will take it kindly and return you thanks But when they are told by such Courses and Actions they will lose their Souls and the Favour of God and the Hopes of Heaven and must Perish for ever this they will not receive they despise the message and scorn and hate the Messenger are displeased and angry at such faithfulness O bless the Lord O my Soul for any good hope through Grace of escaping this Intolerable and Endless Misery And let all that is within me bless his holy Name I have deserved the same endless and unsupportable wrath which Thousands are now under and shall be under to all Eternity but he did not suffer me to fall into it To be delivered out of those Torments after many years misery would be thought an admirable unspeakable kindness And is it not a greater favour never to be thrown into Hell which I have so often deserved How grateful would a damned person be to be freed from those Flames and plac'd in the same condition I now am in What a Life of serious self-denying obedience would he lead And hath not God done more for me Am I not more indebted to his Goodness He hath kept me out of Hell and offers me the Heavenly Glory upon reasonable honourable and easie Terms Blessed be God I may yet escape the wrath to come Let me heartily compassionate the delusion of those multitudes of deceived perishing Souls whose eyes are blinded by the God of this world who will not believe it till they are convinc'd by the light of that Fire which shall never be extinguisht Yea when I read or hear of Ten or Twenty thousand men slain in a War whteher of Infidels or Christians let me think of it with other apprehensions than formerly I was wont to do Considering that many it may be the most of these shall never have any Comfort or Mercy more fearing lest the same Sword or Bullet that gave them their mortal wound hath fixt them under God's Everlasting Wrath and that by dying they are undone for ever In very many other cases the Faith of this Article would rectify my Opinion and direct my Actions if seriously considered and improved This would make me think of Death under another Notion than 't is commonly considered For without the consideration of Hell annexed to it it is not so very formidable but that Heathens have been able to despise it The most contrary Sects among them on different grounds have been able to do it but consider Death as a passage to Eternal misery as the Gate of Hell as the end of all Comfort to a wicked Man and the beginning of an endless Calamity and nothing can be imagined more dreadful to a Guilty unholy Soul. Some of my Acquaintance it may be who died this last year are now among those Hopeless Despairing Wretches who expect the final Judgment of God to consummate their insupportable Misery If they were permitted to come and tell us what they suffer and what they know what a terrible consuming Fire God is what Vanity Lust and Folly brought them to this place of Torment what diligence they would advise us to while in a State of Hope to prevent the like if we have any love and and kindness for our selves any Bowels of Compassion to our own Souls what
a Change do we think it would work upon us But if we will nor hear Moses and the Prophets Christ and his Apostles neither should we believe tho one came from the Dead XX. The Eternal Blessedness of HEAVEN considered as the Perfection of Holiness to quicken our desires and endeavours after greater Meetness to possess it DOth one year after another hasten me to the end of Time And doth the Blessedness of Eternity depend on the Communications I now receive from God On the Preparations I now make and the Meetness I can now attain for Eternal Felicity in the Presence of my God and Saviour O with what Intenseness of mind should I now prosecute that glorious Object with what unwearied diligence should I run the race that is set before me lest I fall short of the Incorruptible Crown of Life How should every thing be undervalued and rejected that would divert retard or hinder me from pursuing this end Lord be not a stranger to my Soul in this distant Wilderness state Let me see more of thy Light be transform'd more into thine Image experience more of thy Love feel more of thy vital Presence and quickening Spirit let the Divine Life in my Soul be more powerful and the Characters of thy Likeness be more legibly stampt upon it by the daily exercise of Faith and Hope and holy Affections carry me through this World till my Pilgrim state be over and thou hast brought me to perfect Everlasting Holiness And let the believing fore-thoughts of it till all the Powers of my Soul with Joy and Wonder Desire and Love Give me Lord to think a right of the Heavenly Glory as a confirmed State of positive perfect Holiness of heavenly Light Love Liberty and Joy with the satisfying Vision of God in the Face of Christ and his impressed Likeness dwelling for ever in the direct and steady view of his transforming Glory with compleat conformity of the Soul to Eternal Goodness Truth and Love as its Perfection esteeming nothing desiring nothing but that God and Christ may be glorified with an intire Subjection to his Will adherence to him Rest and Confidence in him swallowed up in the Love Admiration and Praise of God and our Lord Jesus living in joyful repeated Acts of Subjection Adoration and acknowledg'd Dependance ravisht to behold the Glory of God in the Face of Christ to see his blessed Image perfect in every one of the Saints c. When all the present Blindness of our Minds the Errors of our Judgment the Perversness of our Will the Disorder and Rebellion of our Passions the remaining Aversation from God and Disaffection to him which in this World we complain of shall all be done away The Flesh shall no more Lust against the Spirit or the Law in our Members against the Law of our Minds but an everlasting Tranquility and holy Peace take place a Peace which passeth all understanding without any outward Molestation or inward cause of Disquiet Our corrupted Nature shall no more cast forth Mire and Dirt as now we shall have no more vain or wicked Thoughts no more sinful Fears or foolish Hopes unbecoming Heats unruly Desires sensual Inclinations earthly Affections feeble slothful spiritless Duties dead and heartless Prayers cold Thanksgivings c. but as we shall then know God without Error and see our Lord Jesus face to face so we shall love him without reserve more than now we can think and serve him without Dulness and Distraction and Praise him without Weariness the spiritual Actings of our Souls shall have no allay of Dross And thus shall we be with him and admire and injoy him without end Thus when Death is swallowed up in victory and what was imperfect is done away and what was Corruptible and Mortal hath put on Immortality God in Christ shall be All in All And when it is truly and perfectly so Then it is Heaven The blessedness whereof is unconceivable A Blessed Person is not exprest in the singular Number by the Hebrews but in the abstract and in the Plural Beatitudes instead of Blessed because the Blessings are as many and great as they have Powers and Capacities to partake of Blessedness so will it be in Heaven A Word tho commonly used as little understood as Holiness which is one of the greatest Mysteries in the World. But will hereafter be fully and delightfully understood by the Blessed Saints as the Malignity and intrinsick Evil of Sin shall be by the damned Spirits Oh that I might now feel more of this Heavenly Life begun and carried on in my Soul by a farther Participation of his holy Image and Conformity to his Will by more vital Effects of his indwelling Spirit in my Soul forming it to be a Temple to himself for his own delightful Residence that forgetting that which I have received I may still be Covetous and desirous of more forgetting what I have attain'd I may press on with an holy Eagerness and Fervency towards the Mark When I seriously examine my own heart had I nothing else to prove the weakness of my Grace and the sinful remainders of Unbelief but the low desires and few comfortable Thoughts the seldom joyful prospect of this Blessed State how sad an Evidence were it of my low attainments that I breathe with no more Impatience after that Blessed Holy Rest in the injoyment of God and Christ and labour no more in preparing for it When we profess to believe that all the Desires of our Souls shall be fix'd on Him and filled with Him as our Infinite and Supreme Good and all the Expectations of Faith and Hope swallowed up in endless Admiration Gratitude and Joy being fully satisfied and at Rest in the Presence and Vision of God without the least Inclination or Desire of Change. And by consequence There will be no need of Novelty as now to give a relish to our Happiness All Happiness in this World is by comparing a Man's present Condition with his past or with that of some Inferiors But the Intrinsick Good Felicity and Joy of Heaven will need no such Foil to set it off no such Comparison to make it prized The Blessed Spirits will never lose the lively Sense of that low and miserable Condition from which they were raised to so great a Glory and so will ever equally rejoyce in the Happiness of their Translation and wonderful Change. And what was at first delightful will for ever be so and not be disdain'd or lessen'd by a continuance as it happens in this World from the Emptiness Shallowness and Vanity of the Creature An Affectation of Variety and desire of Change proceeding always from a Sense of Want. But Holy Souls shall never be weary of seeing loving and injoying God his blessed Presence will afford us undecaying and endless Satisfaction Pleasure never to be interrupted or abated and never to cease The blessed Object is absolutely Infinite and so will be always new to a finite understanding and
than Ignorant Heathens who never heard of Christ never saw his Miracles or were inform'd of his Doctrine How shall we escape For he will come again as a Conqueror and a Judge and not as a sufferer and a surety as he came at first and tho he was numbred with Transgressors and made his Grave with the Wicked at his first Appearance he shall hereafter be attended with the shouts of Angels who excel in strength and the joyful Acclamations of his Saints glittering as the Light and paying Homage to him as the Judge of Quick and Dead He whom we have despised shall then be encompast with a dazling Glory that will confound us He whom we have affronted will be clothed with a Majesty that shall astonish us He whom we have offended shall be armed with Power and with Wrath to punish us and all that continue to lift up the Heel against him shall then be made his Footstool all that refuse to kiss the Scepter of his Grace shall be broken in pieces by his Iron Rod. The holy Scripture doth frequently and expresly assure us that he will thus come again and for these ends He is exalted and gone to Heaven as the Head of his Church and the King of Glory and when he foretold his Ascension he gave a promise of his Return The Heavens are to contain him till the restitution of all things By his Providence and by the Holy Spirit he now carries on the designs of his Death and when these are accomplish'd he will appear to the Joy of Believers and the Confusion of the Wicked He is entred as our * Heb. 6 c. 19 20. 10 c. 10. Forerunner within the Veil to prepare Mansions and to take possession for us and will not always leave us in this dark and defiling World. He knoweth our Sorrows and heareth our Prayers and bottles our Tears takes notice of our Groans and in all our Afflictions he is afflicted Being reconciled by his Death at his first coming we shall be saved by his Life since he lives to make good his word of coming again How comfortable is the News of it how joyful will be the Meeting to such as expect and prepare to see him when the Sea and the Graves shall yield up their Dead and all the Prisoners of Hope lift up their heads arise go up and meet the Lord in the Air and ascend with him to the Heavenly Glory But who can express how dismal a sight this will be to the Secure and the Impenitent to all who die in their sins to behold their Judge who formerly offered to be their Saviour upon a glorious Throne and all the Children of Adam summon'd before his Tribunal to have nothing to answer against his Charge and no way to escape his condemning Sentence they despised him as a Lamb offer'd in Sacrifice to take away the sins of the World but shall no longer do so when he comes as the Lion of the Tribe of Judah to devour and destroy the Enemies of his Cross Now they will not own him for their Lord but shall then find he is so by the Vengeance he will execute As a Jesus as a Saviour they rejected him making light of his Salvation despising his Mercy refusing his Grace but the neglected Gospel will then be a more killing Letter than the Law. He who by his Ambassadors doth now intreat Sinners to be reconciled will then be as deaf to their Intreaties as they have been to His Because they would not turn at his Reproof hearken to the Call of his Word and obey its Voice they must hear the Sentence of Condemnation and feel the Execution of it whether they will or no yea the Blood of his Cross will upbraid accuse and plead against them And whatever foolish Evasions they now make to continue in security they shall then be Speechless and Self-condemned Nothing will be able to hide them from the amazing Presence of their Judge or from the Wrath of the Lamb. He then will inflict an intolerable and righteous Vengeance an Everlasting Destruction upon all the ignorant and ungodly World the Greatest the Stoutest the Boldest of them shall then be humbled and stand before Christ's Tribunal upon an equal Level with the meanest seized with horror filled with guilt anguish and despair and find to their eternal Confusion that the Judge is no respecter of persons but every man shall receive according to his works The Mighty shall not be spared for his Greatness nor the mean man for his Poverty O Fool O Wretch that I am shall many then say who now brave it out in Pride and Vanity unconcern'd about a future Judgment not to be persuaded by the terrors of the Lord which I was so often warn'd and foretold of What Refuge of Hope can I now flie to What can I say for my self What can I do to escape to die to exist no longer I would have no compassion on my own Soul I would not so much as consider its danger I shall now find none from Christ I can expect none His Mercy is gone and gone for ever I am lost undone tormented and must eternally be so O the Amazement Horror and Despair of self-condemned Sinners in that day of Vengeance O my Soul what is there of greater consequence or of greater certainty from the Word of God than that I must appear to Judgment when Christ shall come again Lord teach me to believe it firmly to consider it often to lay it seriously to heart to act under the Influence and Power of it as long as I live that at the Great Resurrection from the Dead I may lift up my head with a joyful Hope and find the Judge to be my Friend my Advocate my Jesus and not my Enemy and Destroyer XXIII Meditations of the Glory of Christ in his Glorified Saints and of the thankful Admiration of Believers when He shall come again from Heaven which shall be continued to all Eternity THE terror of our Lord's Appearance to Judgment cannot be greater to the Wicked than the Comfort and Joy of it will be to the Saints When they shall see Him whom their Souls love ascend with him to Heaven and be welcom'd according to his promise with those endearing words * Matt. 25. Come ye blessed Children of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from before the foundation of the World. 'T was for your sakes I assumed Flesh lived on Earth and died on the Cross to purchase this Glorious Kingdom for you which I now come to give you the Possession of 'T was for this I praied and suffered on Earth for this I interceded ever since in Heaven I was heard in that Prayer accepted in those Sufferings and my Intercession granted that where I am you may be also to behold my Glory Come therefore good and faithful Servants enter into your Lord's joy O what ravishing words will these be What an Extasie of Love and Kindness is
we might not perish under it He was a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with Griefs that we might Rejoyce His Agonies and bloody Sweat were for our Refreshment and by his Stripes we are Healed He bowed his Head on the Cross that we might lift up ours in Triumph and because we had eaten of the forbidden Fruit he hung on the accursed Tree 'T was for us that he suffered the Frowns of Heaven the Enmity of Hell the Rage of Devils the Hatred and Persecution of the World He was judged that we might not come into Condemnation He was Crucified that we might be Glorified and he is now Come again finally and fully to effect it O the Height and Depth and Length and Breadth of the Love of Christ which passeth Knowledg but calls for Admiration and everlasting Gratitude This is the Blessed Day we long'd and waited and prayed for This is our Gracious our Glorious Lord whose Love melted our Heart whose Promise was our Support whose Word was our Rule whose Spirit was our Comforter whose Cross was our Crown and the hope of his Appearance our chief Consolation Lord what am I what was I that the ever Blessed Son of God should do and suffer and purchase all this for me I can remember when I was ignorant of God a Stranger to him at Enmity with him under the Power of Darkness and the Devil serving divers Lusts and Pleasures hastening to Hell and liable to his Wrath. But he chose me out of the World stampt his Image upon me pardoned my Sins and imbrac't me in the Arms of his unchangeable Love. O happy Change and yet how little did I prize his Grace admire his Love and express my own or promote his Glory and honour him in the Eyes of others How did I dishonour my Profession and holy Calling as his Disciple by aggravated Apostacy But he recovered me by Repentance and healed my Back-slidings and received me graciously because he loved me freely O admirable Grace to pardon and save and bring to Glory such an unthankful Wretch as I have been to make such a Difference between Me and Others whom I knew on Earth that the same Power which makes them Miserable now makes me Blessed that when they are banisht from his Presence into Everlasting Destruction I am admitted to behold his Glory and shall dwell with him for ever O how much more do I now see and find than ever I believed of the Love of Christ and his promised Salvation How much more glorious is the Person of my Redeemer How much more Excellent is the heavenly State than ever I thought or expected I could not have imagined the thousandth thousandth Part of that which I now see and feel I cannot but admire and spend an Eternity in admiring and praising the incomparable Grace and Glory of my blessed Redeemer Such holy Admiration will certainly produce the most thankful Adorations of our Lord Jesus Saying one to another O Bless the Lord of Love and Glory who humbled himself so low as our Mediator and hath exalted us so high as the blessed Fruit of it How can we ever enough adore and praise him who condescended so far and hath done and suffer'd so much for us See how the holy Angels worship this King of Glory and have not every one of us more reason to do so O let all the Quire of Heaven celebrate his glorious Love and let us his Redeemed his Glorified ones say continually Let the Lord be magnified who hath loved us and washed us from our Sins in his own Blood and made us Kings and Priests unto God his Father and through him ours O merciful Saviour O glorious Change O happy Society with whom we shall Eternally adore our Common Lord. We can some of us remember when we lived together on Earth how we wept and prayed and fasted and mourned together how we suffered and complain'd and sin'd together O the marvellous Change our Redeemer hath now wrought for us and in us These Bodies these Souls this Life this Place this Company these Injoyments are not like those in yonder World. But alas who can describe what Believers shall then think and say to extol their Saviour How small a Portion is it we understand of that World How little can I conceive and how much less express Blessed be God we know so much as the matter of our joyful Hopes and for ever Blessed be God who hath promised and provided such a Glory for us as cannot now be fully known What inexpressible Sweetness might Believers tast by rejoycing in Hope did a more lively Faith realize all this to their Souls We might listen as it were to the Shouts and Acclamations of the Saints above and say Amen to their Thanksgivings We might behold them about the Throne of God and of the Lamb with Palms of Victory in their Hands a Crown of Glory on their Heads and Songs of Triumph in their Mouths saying Allelujah * Rev. 4. c. 11. 5. c. 12 13. Worthy art Thou O Lord to receive Glory and Honour and Power for thou hast created all things and for thy Pleasure they are and were created And worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive Power and Riches and Wisdom and Strength and Honour and Glory and Blessing And again Blessing Honour Glory and Power be unto him who Sits upon the Throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Whence is it O my Soul if indeed I believe and expect all this that I can Hear and Read and Think and Speak of these great Things with no more ardent Affections suitable Preparations inportunate Prayers and vigorous Desires How should the believing Thoughts of that Day promote my heavenly Mindedness Self-denial Contempt of the World Patience and Perseverance Quicken my Zeal secure my Stedfastness and give Life and Spirit to my Prayers for the hastening of it How should my Soul rise towards Heaven by holy Love and Desire Ascend and meet him get as near him as I can breathe after more of his Presence and beg him to prepossess my Heart to anticipate his second Coming by clearer discoveries of his Love and fuller Communications of his Grace Even so Come Lord Jesus XXIV Concerning the Examination of a man's Heart and Life the Reasonableness Advantages and Necessity of it Some Direction and Advice concerning the Time and Manner That we may know in what Preparedness we are for ETERNITY I Am hastening every Year every Day to the period of this Life I must shortly appear before my Glorious Judg and experience these Terrors or Comforts this Blessedness or Misery which I have now read of Shall I not therefore inquire which of the two belongs to me Is it not worth considering whither I must go and how I shall fare when I quit this Body What is like to be my next Habitation To which of the two unchangeable States I shall be adjudg'd Shall an Inquiry of so much consequence be put off to
from them considered to awaken Endeavours of a Recovery In what manner the Faith of Adherence may be acted by one who hath no Assurance IT cannot but be of use to Believers also at stated Times to examine themselves concerning their Languishings and Decays in Grace falling from their first Love to a Spirit of Indifferency and Lukewarmness disorderly walking or unfruitfulness whether gray Hairs are not here and there upon them and they know it not For God may withdraw by degrees so that his departure may not presently be perceiv'd And some kind of Activity in Duty may be continued upon false Principles and from Common Assistance while a Christian as to his spiritual State may be under a dangerous Consumption 'T is not difficult for others to observe it some times and would be visible enough to themselves would they spare a few hours to examine the matter The Punishment of such Backslidings the loss of the quickning and comforting Presence of the Holy Spirit deserves likewise to be inquir'd into in order to a speedy Remedy and should enforce the Counsel I mean not barely the Ebbing of Affections in the Duties of Religion or the want of Life and quickning from sensible Consolations which new Converts especially such as have been reclaim'd from a course of notorious Impiety have more of at first than afterwards This doubting Christians should particularly take notice of by the Instance of the Prodigal who was extraordinarily feasted at his first return but was doubtless contented afterwards with the ordinary Provisions of his Fathers house Neither doth God dispence the same measure to all alike nor to any alike at all Times Some who are called to greater Services and Sufferings than others or had greater Conflicts before Conversion may have a greater share than the rest of their Brethren Neither will the same degree of Grace imparted to some Persons so discernably move and comfort as it will do some others of a different Temper 'T is not therefore so much to be the matter of our Enquiry if at all it need to be so whether we have more or less of sensible Joy in the performance of Duty But Whether we are not fallen and declin'd as to the inward vital Acts of Grace and in the outward Fruits of Holiness Whether we have such clear convincing Apprehensions of Divine and Spiritual Truths and the Mysteries of the Gospel as formerly whether our minds are not become more vain and heedless whether our Knowledg of God and of the Revelations of his Will be as powerful and efficacious upon our Hearts and Lives as heretofore whether there be no less Frequency less Consistency less inward Satisfaction in holy serious Thoughts than formerly You were wont to pray and endeavour that God might be first and last in your Thoughts every day and by frequent Ejaculations in civil Affairs to maintain a dayly converse with God but now you mind not whether it be so or not yea you cannot but know that it is not thus with you still It was once your Burden to be pester'd with foolish filthy worldly vain Thoughts especially on the Lord's Day or in the Worship of God you rejected and disown'd them you lamented and pray'd against them do so much as examine whether it be thus still Consider all your Affections and their several Objects and see whether a criminal Lukewarmness hath not diffus'd it self into every of them Examine every Grace and see whether your Faith Hope Love holy Desires and Delight in God be not miserably abated as to the strength and vigor the efficacy and frequent exercise of every of them so that your Thoughts of God are few cold and lifeless without desire delight and love Consider the Opportunities of Publick Worship and solemn Occasions of approaching the Divine Presence Are they as much the desire of your Souls and the rejoycing of your Hearts as once they were Are you not more easily diverted from them less satisfi'd and refresht by them Are not all Gospel Ordinances less powerful and quickning and your profit and advantage thereby unspeakably less then formerly Do you hunger and thirst and pant as the Hart after the Water-brooks to draw nigh to God and come into his Courts Do you make Conscience of preparing before hand Do you come with a real desire and design and expectation of profiting and bettering your Spirits Do you joyn in every part of Divine worship with that attention seriousness and composure of mind and taste the sweetness and benefit of such solemnities as formerly Are such services performed with that Awe of God with that Humility Fervency and Intensness of Spirit as sometimes they were Are you not more negligent and unconcern'd before and after whether you find any thing of this or no Tho your Desires are weak your Hearts flat your Thoughts wandring your Spirits trifling so the work be done and the duty be over in how formal customary and careless a manner soever it be you consider it not you lay it not to Heart you reflect not upon it you bewail it not or at least are better contented and sooner quieted and take less notice of the frame of your Heart in such Duties than formerly Examine farther how 't is with you as to the great distinguishing Duties of an upright Christian if performed as they ought to be I mean Secret Prayer and Meditation Are you as strict and careful constant and Conscientious frequent and abundant in these as formerly May not our Closets and places of Retirement witness against us How seldome are we there How quickly are we gone How easily diverted How soon tired How do we trifle in that work and shuffle it over and take up with the shadow and image of Prayer Our former humble and importunate Prayers joyful Thanksgivings and sweet Contemplation of the Mysteries of Religion compared with our present dayly practice will testifie that we are declin'd and fallen Moreover consider the Evil of Sin and how your Heart stands affected to it Is not your Hatred of Sin and Zeal against it much decayed especially with respect to inward Spiritual sins such as the secret workings of unbelief and distrust pride envy uncharitableness c. Do you bewail it strive against it and shun the occasions and fear the temptations that may lead you into Sin as once you did Have you not lost much of that tenderness and holy Jealousy over your heart and ways you formerly had Do you not now make more bold with Temptation Are you not oftner conquered and with less Reluctance and by smaller Temptations c. Are you not more Vnserviceable Root and Fruit in a withering condition God less Honour'd and others less profited and edified by your Example and Life Do you not adhere more to the world conform to it and comply with it in many things which formerly you durst not have done and are every day waxing worse Make a pause a while and bethink your self what this will come
my self once more to be the Lord's more unfeignedly more firmly than ever I have hitherto done that the Bonds of God upon me may be strengthned and my Soul more throughly ingag'd to be the Lord's O help me to do it with the greatest seriousness as the most important Affair of my whole Life by thine aid and Grace alone shall I be sincere and cordial in this surrender and Dedication of my self O breathe upon my Soul most Holy Spirit the Power of the Highest that there may be no Hypocrisie or Reservation in this so weighty and solemn Transaction between God and me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and Holy Spirit Thy favor is my Life and thy Lovingkindness is better than Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy Word my Law thy Glory my end to please thee my principal Business and to injoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most merciful God and Father upon thy gracious invitation and call I now return to thee my rightful Lord acknowledging thee as my Almighty Wise and bountiful Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good. I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctify me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yield my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy Good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual Avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Handmaid Though other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O Blessed Jesus my All-sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Blood. I now acknowledg and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfy for my Sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his Will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseecht me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy merciful Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easy Terms O thou Lord of Life and Glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc't that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath to come I acknowledg thy Title to me and my obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy Yoke upon me for it is Easie and thy Burthen which is Light. I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken to take up the Cross and follow thee whithersoever thou shalt lead me through the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labour grudge at no Suffering stick at no difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love. O shed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easie for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Blood. O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledg Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledg and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc't of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his Merit Satisfaction and Righteousness to justify my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my acceptance with God and of the freeness of his Love the Riches and alsufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by Him. I adore Thee O most Blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the Divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purify my Heart and to sanctify all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were Servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the Blood of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Believers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O blessed Spirit be thou my Witness that though I have violated the Law of God and defac'd his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospel yet by thine Aid I now accept what I have so long neglected and thankfully devote my self henceforward to be the Lord 's in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavor to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State. To this One God I have once again dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life in the Performance of all Duties even those which I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy Will making it my business to be fruitful in good Works to the praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his appointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more victorious over inward Lusts and outward Temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even Eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord
where God has been pleas'd to cast my Lot. Causing me to lay down in green Pastures and leading me beside the still Waters Instructing me in the Revelation of his Will and Grace by Jesus Christ acquainting me with the sublime Principles and Articles Precepts and Rules Promises and Hopes of the Gospel in order to Eternal Life I bless Thee O Lord and shall for ever do so that with any or all these Advantages and Helps thy Holy Spirit hath taught me to know the Truth as it is in Jesus heartily to believe and obey it That by thy Grace I have been convinc'd of Sin and brought to Repentance shewing me the necessity of a Saviour to make my peace with Thee the all-sufficiency of his Grace the fulness of his Merit the freeness of his Love and his readiness to receive me to Mercy inviting and calling me to it and enabling me to accept his gracious Invitation and obey his compassionate Call making me willing by a Powerful and Victorious Grace drawing me with Cords of Love and so effectually persuading me to consent to thy Covenant and comply with thy Message on the gracious terms of the Gospel Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who through his abundant Mercy hath begotten me again to a lively Hope having humbled my proud Heart and conquer'd the perverseness of my stubborn Will and brought my Soul to an entire subjection to himself who took pity on me when he saw me in my Blood spread his Skirt over me cast a Mantle upon my Nakedness wash'd me from my Sins and put his own Comliness upon me by Sanctification who open'd my eyes when I was leaping blindfold into the Pit of Destruction who healed my Soul when I was sick unto Death who rescu'd and recover'd me from the Slavery of the Devil when I was led Captive by him at his will. Shall not a ransom'd redeemed Slave be thankful to his Deliverer Shall not a miserable undone Sinner who is received to Mercy be thankful for a Pardon Awake O my Soul and utter a Song of Praise to him * Psal 103. v. 3. who forgiveth all thine Iniquities and healeth all thy Diseases who redeemeth thy Life thy Soul from Destruction and crowneth thee with loving-kindness and tender Mercies Hath he made thee Partaker of his own renewed Image and Likeness given thee his Son his Grace his Spirit and taken such a wretched Creature into so near a relation to Himself and promised to be thy God and Guide thy Portion and thine Inheritance thy Friend and thy Physician thy Sun and thy Shield and thine exceeding great Reward and shall not my Soul speak aloud his Praise Hath he been * Isa 43. v. 14. merciful to my unrighteousness and blotted out my sins Hath he gathered me with his Arm and carried me in his Bosom Hath he been my Saviour and Redeemer adopted me into his Family and promis'd to make me Blessed in his Glory with the holy Angels the Curse being removed and the Hand-writing against me cancell'd the Price paid the Breach made up the Mouth of Justice stopt and the condemning Sentence of the Law exchang'd for a gracious Pardon through the Sacrifice of my Blessed Lord Jesus and shall I not praise his ineomprehensible Love and Grace I likewise thank Thee most holy Father for saving me from Guilt and Ruine when assaulted by powerful and dangerous Temptations that by preventing Mercy or restraining Grace thou hast kept me from many scandalous and presumptuous Crimes I thank Thee for making the Sins of Others a Warning and a Caution to Me an Argument to Humility and a Motive to Watchfulness for preserving my Judgment from many Errors and Delusions by which others are seduced for enabling me to improve any Opportunities of doing Good and making me in any thing useful to Others yea I thank thee for all thy Mercies to other Christians for all the Gifts and Graces and usefulness of any of thy Servants wherein as a Member of the same Body I desire to rejoyce for any Support and Comfort to me or any of them under honourable Sufferings for thy Names sake I desire unfeignedly to bless Thee for any Succour Relief and Victory with respect to the Snares and Buffetings of Satan and the vilest of his Temptations When he hath tempted me to Apostacy and Infidelity in Speculation and Practice to question the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and the Life to come to doubt of the foundations of the Christian Faith or to despair of the Mercy of God and give up the Reins to sensual Lusts or to draw me from God by the love of the World and the praise of Men by Evil Company Intemperance secret Wickedness c. I Bless Thee with my whole Soul for calling me back from any of my Wanderings and by infinite Goodness recovering me after great Falls enabling me to return when I had gone astray and seek thy forfeited favour that thou maist heal my Backslidings giving me in order to it a deep sense of my own Sin and of thy Sovereign Grace leading me to a Saviour whose Blood cleanseth from all sin when my guilty defiled Soul so much needed its pardoning and cleansing Virtue awakening me to make holy Vows and calling upon me by thy Word and Spirit and Providence to perform them I Bless Thee who hast guided my feet into the way of peace when by the terrors of an accusing Conscience and the sense of unpardon'd Sin and the apprehensions of thy deserved Wrath I was ready to despair that though thou didst most justly hide thy Face at any time it was but for a little while but didst seasonably and in Mercy return to wipe off my Tears restore the Joy of thy Salvation and chace away the clouds and darkness on my Spirit by the reviving presence of thy own Thou who art the Author wilt be the Finisher of my Faith and therefore though thou hast visited mine Iniquities with a Fatherly Rod yet thy loving-kindness thou hast not taken from me or suffer'd thy faithfulness to fail or thy Covenant of Peace to be removed but hast refreshed me with hidden Manna after great Perplexities saying unto my Soul I am God even thy God making me to hear thy Voice which was sweet and to taste thy Love which is better than Wine enabling me to say with thine Apostle Thomas My Lord and my God and to have any Communion with thee since in publick or private Duties For all these innumerable Mercies I desire to praise Thee which yet are but in order to greater to Everlasting Kindness in Heaven These are but the taste and Earnest of what thou wilt bestow hereafter O how great is his Goodness that he hath laid up for those that fear him And now Lord what wait I for my hope is even in Thee I thank thee who hast thus put it into my Heart to render thee solemn Praise and once more to renew my Covenant with Thee
implied in them What matter of rejoycing may it now give me to admit the Hope that my Blessed Saviour will say such words as these to me and bid me stand upon his Right-hand among his Sheep O what an exulting frame of Soul will such Expressions raise How shall all my Doubts and Fears and Sorrows be scatter'd in a moment and cease for ever O Glorious Day when my blessed Lord shall thus publickly acknowledge me for his own and plead my Cause against all the Accusations of Satan and the malicious Calumnies of all his Instruments when I shall be able to say of all my Sins and Sufferings as my Lord upon the Cross It is finished it is finished My warfare being accomplish'd being more than Conquerour over all through him who loved me and died for me and now is come to wipe away all tears from mine eyes as it were with the Napkin that was bound about his Head when laid in the Grave all being the fruit of his meritorious Death Then shall I have nothing more to fear or wish or beg I shall offend provoke and dishonour him no more or by my folly and scandal discredit his holy Name and Gospel but by consummate Holiness be fitted to rejoyce in his Presence and Love and celebrate his Praise for ever I shall never more lament his Absence or complain of his Anger never see a cloud on his Face or a Frown in his Look any more Now I must wait and pray struggle and strive labour and suffer desire and expect believe and hope c. but then perfect Rest and Holiness Love and Joy Vision and Fruition Bliss and Glory unutterable and everlasting shall take place All the Attributes of God all the wonderful Perfections of Christ will then be glorified in Believers and admired by them His invariable Truth will then be honoured which they trusted to and waited for for now they shall know and find they did not wait in vain They hop'd in his Word and ventur'd their Salvation upon it and now they shall receive the end of their Faith and Hope infinitely beyond what they ever expected or believed The Glory of Divine Wisdom will then appear when the Constitution Administration and Design of the Mediator's Kingdom shall be fully known in the admirable Order and Beauty of every part of it with the exact tendency of all the particulars to one Glorious End and the whole Undertaking crown'd with so blessed an Issue What is now a Mystery even to Believers themselves and hath a Veil upon it shall then no longer be so all the Riddles of God's Grace and Providence shall be plainly understood O how transporting a View must it needs be when the Glory of all the Divine Attributes which God intended to accomplish in and by Christ shall be manifest to his Redeemed Saints The whole method of our Salvation will then appear to be the fruit of unsearchable Wisdom when we shall all see the Reality and Substance and entire Scheme of all that God designed in and by him all that was typified of him and foretold concerning him in the Old Testament How will it all appear to be the manifold Wisdom of God! Ephes 3. c. 10. As in uniting Heaven and Earth together in the Person of our Mediator fulfilling the Truth of a terrible threatning in his Death and by the same way accomplishing * Vid. Mr. Charnock of the Divine Attribute Wisdom many gracious Promises satisfying Justice and at the same time shewing Mercy manifesting infinite Grace and Kindness by shedding of Blood conquering Death by dying and disarming the Law by Obedience to it c. afterwards subduing the world to the Faith of the Gospel by the foolishness of Preaching making men wise to Salvation by the knowledge of the Cross and spreading that Faith the more by all the opposition made against it c. How wonderfully will a clear View of these things discover and glorifie the Wisdom of God. But the Love and Grace of Christ the infinite Goodness and Compassion of God will then be magnified in an especial manner What but Soveraign Love in the whole Contrivance and Counsel of God about our Redemption What admirable Love and Grace in the whole management of that design What unparallel'd kindness in the accomplishment of it by the Sacrifice of the Son of God And how Glorious will this Love appear when he shall come again to give us the full Harvest of all his Purchase With what admiring Thankfulness shall Believers then contemplate the unsearchable Riches of his Grace In all the Parts and Instances of his Humiliation from his Conception to his Crucifixion and Burial in all the Evidences and Discoveries made of it from the first Promise to its Completion yea from before the Foundation of the World in the Covenant of Peace between the Father and the Son until his second Coming to Judge the World and deliver up the Kingdom to his Father How shall we then admire and adore his Powerful Grace which snatcht us as Firebrands out of everlasting Burnings that effectually shin'd into our minds by heavenly Light conquer'd the Opposition of our stubborn Wills Sanctified our carnal Hearts rescued us from the Tyranny of Satan and the Dominion of Lust giving cherishing and preserving the holy Seed of Grace and making it Spring up to Eternal Life defeating the malicious and subtil Endeavours of the Devil to destroy it inabling us to indure Tribulation and persevere to the end giving us Victory over Death conducting us through the dark Valley raising our Bodies reviving and reuniting them to our Souls and rendring them glorious like his own Body and at length rewarding our imperfect Services with Eternal Life Yea tho our best Services were mixt with Sin our holiest Duties spotted our most couragious Sufferings mixt with unbelief yet rewarded with a Blessedness that hath no alloy of Evil but all the ingredients of a Perfect Felicity and nothing to lessen and interrupt it How shall we then admire the Bounty of our Gracious Lord the Freeness Tenderness Riches and the exceeding Greatness and Glory of his Infinite Goodness and Grace to poor Believers With what Extasies of Joy and Gratitude may we imagine that our Lord will be then admired by all his Redeemed ones Saying This is He who made our Peace with God and reverst the Sentence of Damnation which we were under who bought us with the price of his most precious Blood bore the Wrath of his Father and submitted to an infamous and cursed Death for us He assumed our Nature that we might partake of his became the Son of Man that we might be made the Children of God for our sakes he became poor that we through his Poverty might become Rich He stoopt to bear the greatest Ignominy and Reproach to confer Honour on us He was for a time forsaken of his Father that we might not be so eternally He felt the stroke of his Anger against Sin that