when by his respects and adorations he endeavour'd to alure my soule to himself What can you apprehend now since he has affronted and wronged me so basely and that the inclination I had for your deare self is converted into love but what love Gadate alas shall I dare name it you know it enough already and the last evidence I have given you cannot but place your beleef above all doubts if there were roome for any What greater proofes can you demand Speake Gadate must I die to gain your full beleefe Ah what was there wanting tell me prethee did I not seek for death when I durst cope with him that came to quench that small remaining sparke of life in the streames of your own blood I know indeed reply'd Gadate that I have nothing to feare since you forbid it But Madam I have neither Crown nor Scepter to reward your affection nor with my person can you espouse any thing but the hatred of a King who now can make you a worthy Queen The regret that you should loose those advantages in consideration of me and that I am not able to recompence that loss but by the Grandeur of an affection which truly has no paralel but which nevertheless can procure you nothing else suitable to it is that which casts me into so much trouble That Chryseide should refuse Uectorez to embrace Gadate put by a King to entertain a Subject is a Prodigy of grace and goodness which should surpass the hopes of ambition it self notwithstanding my Deare Chryseide these are not only things which I may fondly hope for but such as your assurance crownes me with Most rare effect of love but yet produced by a cause more rare Adorable Chryseide at least permit me as an earnest of my affection to avenge the base attempt of that ignoble King you have less reason to endure the affront he would have acted then to refuse the Crown he prostrates at your feet by this meanes you shall no longer have that loathsome object of your batred in your Eye nor I have further cause of any apprehension Chryseide would not suffer him to goe on but absoluttly forbad him to express any ressentment towards the King who seem'd to repent his crime since he confess'd his shame by hiding it They afterwards vow'd an eternal love to which they call'd the gods for witness and resolv'd to secure their felicity at soonest by a speedy marriage At the same time that they propounded to roote and establish their content Vectorez studied to undermine it As soon as he was cured of his wounds he went to visit Gadate and repeated over to him personally what he had formerly sent him word off The Kings sanity troubled these lovers happiness Chryseide seldome saw Gadate and the feare least Vectorez should renew his love together with his inseparable jealousy made her not visit him but with much caution and secrecy till he was able to goe abroad and visit her himself without openly declaring himself her lover Vectorez being faithfuly advertis'd of these enterviews became so jealous that not able to suffer another to enjoy that fulness of happy repose which he could by no meanes taste he resolved to separate these two lovers before they could have the blessed opportunity to tye themselves closer by the indissoluble and holy knot of marriage which he apprehended above all things and which he nevertheless foresaw would be inevitable unless he hastily cast in some impediment to obstruct it As he was forecasting this ugly design a fit occasion presented it self to him to put in execution the inhabitants of a remote Province did insolently raise a mutiny and it being necessary to elect some person of eminency and Authority as well as of ability and courage to quell these seditious spirits and range them to their just Devoir his jealousy easily suggested him instantly to impose this Commission on Gadate thereby to snatch him away and part him from Chryseide He propounded it to his Councel who soon approved his choice as the fittest person of his Court and not considering the particular interests that lead him to it immediately dispatched all the orders requir'd towards this expedition This business did indeed call for a diligent disposing of affairs but yet the jealous impatiency that nettled Vectorez made him precipitate that departure the more suddenly so that his rival had scarcely time to set his own domestick business in order because the King feigned to have received fresh intelligence that without a very quick remedy that fire of rebellion which kindled more and more might perhaps suddenly enflame his neighbouring Provinces Gadate plainly perceived what posted him from Babylon and that his deare Deare Chryseide who made him part with so much trouble and unwillingness was the sole cause yet he was forc'd to yeild to Soveraign command and obey the Kings absolute power without delay least he should utterly ruine his hopes and future fortunes The evening before his departure he waited on his Chryseide where though these two faithful friends had very much to say to each other yet were they so overwhelm'd with grief that for a long time they could demand no other expressions but mournful sighes and teares but when they perceiv'd the fatal moment of their separation approached Gadate in fine broke silence with these words We must part fair Chryseide 't is heavens decree as well as the Kings will but what must we expect in so long and tedious an absence if we find so much trouble only to say adieu A love reply'd Chryseide which shall never untye the union of our souls whatever fortune plot or contrive against us love me still Gadate but as I shall and doe love you and we shall thus triumph over all opposition and make them know our constancy and promis'd Faith is firmer rooted and founded then their obstinate and unhandsome malice That I should love you for ever reparted Gadate is to command me a thing from which I cannot possibly decline since no object can ever possibly be so lovely as Chryseide as nothing can be so pleasing and charming as the sweet and too sorrowful remembrance of your presence Gods who know future events and can read all our actions ' ere we conceive them or write them in our intentions strike me with thunder immediately rather then suffer me to be false to her but no you shall never chastise me for that crime what power soere you have over us for since you cannot shape a beauty more glorious nor furnish a soul with more perfection she shall be eternally the only object of my affection and veneration Yet I must leave you dearest Chryseide to please the jealous humour of a rival who teares me from you rather then for that interest of State which is pretended I must be my own Enemy by this self banishment to humour him and under the pretence of serving my King and Country abandon you to the danger of a Tyrant
long time the cover to disguise her passion and though she were most subtil in her behaviour yet could she not make Theramene take notice of any thoughts beyond his Devoir Not but that she discover'd her self apparently enough sometimes as he related since but because the purity of his soul being incapable to let in so ungrateful and horrid affection he could not suspect so base an ambush then Every one perceiv'd evidently that Erixone had a particular affection towards Theramene even Ctesiphon declar'd he was obliged to her for it but never any could imagine her more then ordinary tenderness was the Pander to her abominable lust In fine after the vain pursute of a whole year finding her itching desires could not be thus satisfied she conceiv'd as much violent hatred in the beginnings of her dispair as she had cherished love for him in her soul she resolv'd to oppress the Princes vertue if she could not corrupt it and in the means she fought to ruine him she found the satisfaction of these two different passions which strugled in her brest because she fixedly intended to throw off all dissimulation and disguise and break through the bashful laws of Scruple and nice decency by making a manifest declaration of her love to which if Theramene gave a willing ear and correspondency hers should be fully glutted in the fruition and if he should recoile by his too cold denials she voted such a deep revenge that he should sink under her enrag'd displeasure if he became not flexible to her more soft desires This Princes extraordinary civility furnished her with frequent occasions to execute her ignoble designs there was not a day pass'd wherein he did not see her he resorted every morning to her Chamber as soon as decency permitted him a becoming entrance One time above the rest Cresiphon being somewhat indisposed sent Theramene to give her the bon-jour and communicate certain affairs to her she made her maids and women retire and though she were yet undress'd led him to her Closset under a pretence of telling him some important secret and forbad any one to interrupt her There was she assaulted with the several passions of Love and Hatred Hope and Dispair Confidence and Fear and after some moments silence in which a busie eye might have read her thoughts in her countenance which though not truly understood by the Prince did somewhat raise his astonishment and invite him to beg the knowledge of the trouble he perused in her face so often shifted from its natural sweetness into betraying blushes she set two or three sighs at liberty and darting her looks upon him fuller of Love than Anger Ha Prince said she to him What do you expect more would you have a clearer evidence or more apparent testimonies of that which I have endeavoured so long time to reveal are you alone insensible in the world and nature that has enjewel'd you with all the exquisite qualities that can render a man admirable in a Soveraign degree has she depriv'd you of all sentiments of Love as well to the persons of others as your self The Prince was so amazed with this discourse that he could not get his troubled thoughts to shape out any answer he heard indeed she mention'd the name of Love but could not comprehend from whence this declaration proceeded or why it was address'd to him and therefore they stood gazing a long time upon one another without pronouncing a sillable but she recovering her spirits again went on thus You are surprized methinks as if it were news for Love to raign in a young heart or that a woman as I am were capable to affect and adore a man like you have I now explained my self and broken the Ice enough do you now understand my looks and thoughts or must I bring more light yet to discover so fair a flame your silence which cannot be in you a sign of stupidity is it a mark and effect of the disdain you have for me am I too poor in beauty or is my Age too stale and does your busy eye surveying me from head to foot meete so many defects in that short travel as to distaste and slight the correspondency I begg Ha Madam answerd Theramene having recollected his disturbed fancy is it to try and sound me that you make this discourse yes certainly you have too great â— stock of eminent vertues to be capable of such a criminal love but tell me Madam what is that grand miscarriage which has so falsely perswaded you I harbord any sentiments so contrary to my devoir The respect I have ever rendred you can that have betrayed my intention and can my excess therein testify any thing beyond what I doe owe you just heavens you know at least the purity of my soule Erixone interrupting the current of his discourse told him no Theramene you need not wander so far for testimonies of that there never was in you the least sparke of love for me I have but too long watched to espie that doe not complain of the excess of your esteem since I reproach only your want of it had that been but true in the smallest portion you could not have been so insensible and you might well have judged that though I had not merited your affection for any handsome quality in my selfe yet I at least deserv'd it as a retaliation for mine to you Insensible or ingrateful man which of the two shall I reproach you of shall I excuse one to accuse of th' other declare it Theramene and acknowledge the verity of my passion from its excess The Prince who could no longer find the least shaddow of doubt after she had uncloath'd her thoughts so nakedly reply'd Madam I now find that true which had been ever said of love if it be possible that you love me in such a manner as you have express'd your self the blindness of that passion has so hood-winkt your sight and memory that you have quite forgotten who I am you do not remember Madam that I am Ctesiphons son that Ctesiphon is your dearer husband and you his lawful wife this is enough and this weighty consideration alone were sufficient to instruct you that I have been as little capable of ingratitude as insensibility on your behalf since I ought not to be susceptible of any love for you as I must needs beleeve you do but feigne towards me but Madam it was unnecessary to represent you these considerations to make you see a fault of which surely you are no wayes guilty 't is only I am so by those unhappy suspitions you have started that I should be so rashly insolent to hatch such base desires contrary to my duty and respect this declaration must be only to try me I should wrong your vertue to beleeve otherwise for you have too much judgement Say too much love reply'd she interrupting him cruel what then must I give faith to it said he what reason answerd she should
in the Street commanding them to convey away his men and was himself presently carried to his Palace no less covered with blood then shame and to hide it from all knowledge he commanded his Physitians and Chyrurgeons to give for a pretence that he was not seen abroad that 't was some other indisposition which afflicted him and forbad those who had assisted him therein ever to whisper the least word of it to any other You may guess with what disquiet he passed the rest of the night his anger gave him lesse repose then his wounds and his jealousie quickly suggested to his thoughts that the tutelary Demon which had robbed him of his Chryseide must assuredly be Gadate who the better to hide his amours disguis'd himself under the feined shape of a Woman Whilst he was wracked with these suspicions Chryseide who notwithstanding her danger and fright could not goe far from him but thorow feare of his disaster had conceal'd her self at the corner of the street to see the event of the combat returnd as soon as the noise was over to seek for him The night was not so dark but that at some short intervals the wind sweeping the clowds with some impetuosity left the face of Heaven so cleere and starry that by their charitable light this unhappy lover soon found what she sought for with so much feare and grief and which nevertheless she expected as now appear'd too true He lay stretch'd upon the pavement closs by a doore towards which he had trail'd himself but the loss of his blood and strength stop'd him before he arriv'd there The cries which this woeful spectacle made her at first direct towards heaven which she with melting eyes petition'd for justice against the cruell assassins were loud enough to be heard in the loftiest star Chamber of the gods above who reserv'd the vengeance surely to be performed by the hands of Cyrus Her sobs interrupted those first clamours letting fall her lookes upon the object of her misery after she had some moments fix'd them there she softly bow'd her head upon him calling him with an accent compounded of love and sorrow both together Gadata Gadate said she my dearest life and raising her self up a little pursued she or rather my dearer death since thou repliest nothing thou art no longer to be counted amongst the living but if it be true that thou hast loved me can thy faire soule be gone and leave mine here and wherefore must I live since I have lost him who alone inspir'd me where is thy soule fled my Gadate can it be that which makes me live still here take it then again said she Kissing his lips affectionately I breath it back into thee with all my heart She felt a little breath remaining in him which the faint motion of his heart attested which made her stoop to marke with more attention whether it were truly some small remainder of life yet in him or the last knell of her expiring lover but finding it continued still apparently I heare thee said she my deare soule thou answerest me but is it to take thy last adieu or to call me to follow thee saying this she softly laid her trembling hand upon his heart and finding it beat and throb a little let us not die my Dear Gadata since I yet feel the motions of our soule within thy bosome live for my sake unless you 'l have me straightway die for yours And having said this she perceiv'd her hand was bathed in blood wherewith being again afrighted she sought for that wound whence so much blood did issue But oh strange she seem'd to shew more trouble for this same wound then she had done whilst she beleeved him dead and tearing the linnen she had on her head she made a shift to stop the blood from flowing whilst with her teares that wash'd and bath'd his face she strove to call him from his swoun'd to life again but finding her indeavours all in vain she sent her careful looks abroad to find some other assistance when instantly a man presenting himself told her that being moved with her doleful cries he came to lend her all the service he was able and asking the cause of that funestuous accident she briefly related the truth of that sad story and then beseeched him by all that was most deare to him on earth to help her carry her deare Gadate instantly to some neer place who without speedy remedy would breath his last The man whom she believed heaven it self had sent to her assistance professing solemnly he shared in her griefes stoop'd down as 't were to helpe her take him up when suddenly the barbarous vilain instead of performing that charitable office unsheath'd a dagger and indeavour'd to plunge it into Gadates heart The unhappy blow was so much the more cruel to Chryseide because it deluded the hopes she had joyfully conceived of his timely assistance yet she immediately flew at him and being transported with a kind of fury cryed aloud Traitor thou hast mistaken if thou wouldst murther Gadate strike my brest for here his soule is housed and he does live in me but thou hast now kill'd only me infernall Monster in his person Love had lent so much strength to Chryseide and this just reproach struck so much terror into that base butchers heart that he had force enough to stay him though he mainly struggled to scape out of her hands till those that had bafore fled from the danger sent some armed men thither to rescue her who finding her striving with this assassin soon ended that unequal combat by killing her Enemy His death contributed very much to Gadates life Chryseide was no sooner delivered from that Traitor but she hastily ran to him and perceiving that he lived yet and that the last wound he received was not so dangerous as her feares had made her doubt finding her self too weake to carry that deare burden alone which nevertheless she eagerly coveted to doe she admitted of their assistance that were present to beare him thence till the coach she had sent for met them in which they laid him reposing his head upon her panting brest Whilst they were thus going as if Gadate had been in a condition to answer her she entertain'd him with what her love sometimes trembling for feare and othertimes flattering with hope did suggest to her thoughts and being at last arriv'd at his own dwelling she would not leave him till the Chirurgians had given her a confident assurance of his recovery and that himself having happily recover'd his spirits and knowledge again earnestly conjured her to goe and repose her self In the interim the King full of impatience that he saw no return of the party he had sent to dispatch the poor Gadate if he were yet alive secretly commanded another to goe and make a discovery what had pass'd who brought him word how he found him dead on the pavement What ever plaints and moanes the
having heard his Name and place of birth with the gallant deportment had been taken notice of in the fight he approached him with all the civilities that were due to so illustrious a Captive and having discoursed with him some time this Prisoner answer'd in so brave a manner that it plainly appeared to him those praises which Sybaris had spoken were rather the testimonies of sincere truth than of any particular affection Their Complements being ended Sybaris to whose care Cyrus especially recommended him conducted him to his own Tent where he was nobly received and having given him for some time the liberty to repose himself alone the impatience he was in to learn by what adventure he was drawn into that action made him return and intreat him to relate the story of his life ever since he had left him in Margiana Merame who could not refuse to unlock that secret to Sybaris with whom he had so long since contracted a real friendship began in this manner The History of MERAME I Can give you no particular reason of my unhappiness and the occasion which brings me here but that alone which as I beleeve generally causes the misfortune of all men I mean Love At that time when you resided in Margiana I did not yet know the puissance of this deity because I had not then felt his piercing darts and I may say I then lived in content though in the Court it may seem a thing next to impossibility amidst the Monsters of Ambition and Envy whereof the one flatters with its delusive hopes while it conspires and plots our utter ruine the other bytes and knawes our hearts because that some are happier then our selves I can assure you nevertheless that I was not at all tainted with them whether my blooming age were yet too green and innocent or that I were reserved to some more rugged Fate But since that time all those dayes which other men have injoy'd with some tranquillity have been so many hours of misfortune to me Or if I have tasted some momentory intervals of happiness I have been sure to pay for those little pleasures at the dear rate of more continued sufferings but I am transported too much with the resentment of my miseries as if it were my task only to make my moanes forgetting that you desire to know what has hapned ever since our separation which that you may the more fully understand it will be very necessary that I step back a little in my discourse and begin it farther off You know that I was born in Margiana of a family which being of the same blood of those Princes that are the Soveraigns is not a little considerable in that Country and besides this advantage the more then ordinary care of my Education was added I being the only child after twelve years marriage 'twixt my Father and Mother As soon as I had past my date of infancy a learned man was sent for from Persia to be my Governor and to instruct me in those Sciences which are very ordinary in your Country but somewhat rare in ours He had the charge to enrich and polish my mind with learning and judgement whilst another Master had the care to teach me such bodily exercises as were fit for a person of my quality The great pains they both took in my behalf was not altogether fruitless And I may without vanity affirm that I profited much by their learned instructions which induced Balden Our Prince who had a particular esteeme for mee to oblige my Father to let me be alwayes neer his Son Senisra and as there are few at Court that refuse such favours it was accepted of as a great honour that I was chosen to be a companion for the young Prince and whether it were the equality of our Age or the assiduous devoirs I rendred him or only his fair and free inclination I cannot tell but he express'd so great and fond an amity that he would hardly be an houre without me We passed our time in all kind of divertisements But one day when Senisra being possessed with a profound sadness would needs injoy himself without the importunate throng of Courtiers which usually beseiged him we retired to a Castle called Coupava belonging to my Father In that vast solitude the Prince began to be acquainted with the nature of his Melancholly and found that some new entertained thoughts which perpetually invaded his mind was the sole cause of it and as he cherished me with much tenderness he would needs impart this disquiet to mee and did me the honour to reveale that since the late assembly and intertainment at the marriage of his Sister where all the Court Stars appeared in their brightest glory Themira was still present in his memory that indeed he had beheld her with more admiration and entertained her with much more content then any other that since having seen her again accidentally he had not been able to guard his heart from a particular inclination it resented for her beauty nor could he part from her but with I know not what constraint which fill'd his bosome with disquiet whilst he was absent from her We were both of us yet so young we could not guess the name of this new breeding passion but in a very short time after experience fully taught it us The short abode we made in that Castle augmented the Princes trouble and gave birth to mine I chanced to see amongst the Captives that were in the Keepers custody a young Maid whose handsome meen and the Majestick features of her face invited me particularly to consider all her actions the more I studied her person and demeanour the more I found her rare which caused me to bewail her condition From this compassion sprung up the curiosity which made me enquire of her Mother of what Country she was and the sad disaster that brought her into slavery All that I could then learn was that at the taking of Sina she fell into the hands of some of our Souldiers who had sold her to this Keeper and that her condition deserved no regrets since it had never been much better than at present I could not be satisfied with this account but rather wisht she might have lost many things of advantage and importance together with her liberty that might have spoken her of a greater quality though I could not have heard that neither without sorrow and bearing to the Court as well the remembrance of her misery as the Image of her beauty I considered them both a long time only with a sence of tenderness and indifferency In the mean time Senisra at our return was fully acquainted that what before we had been ignorant of was called Love and whatever other passion he esteemed that trouble in his soul he found it answer only to that Name and in this knowledge he eagerly sought the opportunity to meet Themira But the first time he came into her presence his tongue was
to procure my pardon they could not bow the angry Balden to pitty who notwithstanding had not declar'd how he would deal with me but whose concealed fury shook my friends hearts with fear having indeed some more then ordinary reason to fear that clap of thunder which so long threatned to break forth against me yet kept its lightning still cover'd with a Cloud During the afflictions of my imprisonment sometimes the lively remembrance of my beautiful Vneria invaded my melancholly thoughts and gave them cause to make me rejoyce but when from her bright face I let fall my thoughts on her black destiny turning the other side of the leaf to read our misfortunes my sorrow swell'd above the power of comforts to allay and then my sighs and tears were too abundant to be exprest in words What shall I say more Sybaris when as if there had yet wanted one weight of sorrow more to sink me to the bottom of misery and dispair One of those that were taken with her having made his escape came into this disconsolate Prison to tell me such sad tydings as utterly extinguished the least glimpse of hope I had yet remaining in me He assured me that those Thieves had found Vneria so rarely handsome that they had consulted to make a glorious present of her to their Prince who had a Pallace filled with beautiful slaves in which they were confined to satisfie his wanton pleasures and that Vneria having understood their â—esign conceiving so piercing a sorrow that it converted into an accute Feaver which quickly caused her death for whom the Scythians had so much esteem and veneration that to express their regrets for her loss they had erected a very stately Monument for her which he had often seen and lamented over The recital of this funest adventure struck me into the deepest silence possible for a long while It ceaz'd upon my reason too and made me so much loose the helm of judgement I was like to run and Shipwrack upon dispair so that I sought for some weapon wherewith to put a period to that heap of miseries which I could bear no longer on my tortur'd bosome But finding that means was deny'd me I had recourse to my complaints Ha! what said I does Balden withhold the execution of his vengeance only to make me linger in my miseries Is his cruelty become so witty to make me taste a thousand deaths for one must I yet live upon this wrack of torments and not be allow'd the mercy of a sudden death Cruel and inexorable Butcher you have now found out the way of full revenge indeed by suffering me still to live in a condition that has more of horrour than many deaths could frighten me withal and thou blest soul do not thou charge me with backwardness and want of Love and courage thou seest I search out all the wayes I can to follow thy too hasty flight and since I am yet bound under the sad necessity of staying longer than my soul desires comfort me with thy blessed spirit that I may not be left thus still alone with those wild thoughts and here again my griefs came flowing in so fast they quite choakt up the passage of my speech I was thus a long time mute and that Gentleman taking at last his farewell left me rather in the possession of my sorrows than my reason A few dayes after Senisra sent a Gentleman to comfort me whom I intreated to tell the Prince that the only favour he could procure me would be not to follicite any longer for my pardon but to joyn his pursutes with those of my Enemies to hasten my end and that as this was the last so it would be the greatest favour I could implore and the most welcome honour his mediation could confer upon so miserable a person Contrary to the prayer of this Petition that Generous Prince fearing some sinister accident from this dispair beg'd of his Father so earnestly that he obtain'd permission to give me a visit He found me in a posture which begot as much wonder as compassion in him My Chamber was very obscure having only the faint light of one little window which I had half vail'd over with a Curtain I was thrown on my bed my arms crossing my breast my eyes fixt upwards and so weather-beaten with the storms of tears that bubbled from those springs and my visage so melancholly wan and discomposed from its natural dress that he might well mistake me as he did and think his feet had led him unawares into some doleful Cell where only grief and mourning kept their disconsolate Court my thoughts had buried my mind in such a deep sence of my Calamities that I did not perceive when he entred into the Chamber so that he came close to me without discovery and after he had gaz'd some time upon me I turn'd my head that way and look'd upon him with an eye so full of trouble that he believed it furious Being first amazed to behold me in so woful a condition and perceiving me immoveable his pitty made him first salute then call upon me when finding I made no reply he proceeded thus to rowze me by a gentle check Is it thus Merame you mean to receive and slight the visit of Senisra and is it so importunate as to deserve this silence and these forbidding looks these words brought him to my knowledge and striving to salute him I hardly had the strength to shew it by a little inclining of my head which I follow'd with these languishing accents Noble Senisra the infinite sorrows that overwhelm me are the cause of my incivility but what Ceremonies can you expect from a man equally in dispair of life and death who during the violent agitation of this perpetual agony does neither live nor dye a combat so much the more cruel because it continues so long in one poor heart and does not yet quite burst it Gods how merciless are your decrees against me why should you thus delight to oppose all my happiness and will not send death after you have curst my life and blasted all my just designs which how unhappily they have succeeded you can judge I drew Vneria from my Mothers house with the fond hopes of delivering her from a Captivity which was more advantagious then that liberty afterwards prov'd to be If I justly revenge her injuries on the destroyers of her worthy Family and her own sweet repose that becomes the ground work of all my misfortunes when I imagine I am going to embrace her and graspe the highest felicity in my arms I find it rudely snatch'd away and she hurry'd to her fatal end whil'st I am left the sport to Destiny and example of the greatest sufferings mortality ever tasted of and lived under Cruel thoughts sorrowful remembrance which stings my very soul with bitterness that I my self should be the sad cause of hers and thereby my own utter ruine had I not better have continued
to love and adore her in silence But oh Here the Prince interrupted me and mildly said Cease from becoming yet more guilty by your loud murmerings you must not blaspheme against so sage a conduct as that of Heaven Are the gods tyed to let fall prosperity on all our actions and purposes no they more wisely do dispose of what we commonly propose most wildly to our selves Nor should we think our selves so harshly dealt with did we but well consider how lamely we go about most if not all our designs and how we swerve from those strickt rules of Vertue prescribed us to walk in to attain our just ends Is it possible Merame that when you intended to fight with Zadarem you should not plainly foresee my Fathers heat of passion and anger since you so soon fled from it and who had ensured Vneria's safety in her journey to meet you the attendance appointed to convey her did not that shew what fears you had she might fall into those misfortunes did afterwards unhappily light on her Believe me Merame you do ill to complain so much for having reap'd those thorns your self had planted your misadventures cannot be unravel'd again I mean those that are past do not kick at Heaven but mildly submit to what Fate and your self have cast upon you 't is better yeilding obedience to the gods than call more anger down by a rebellious impatience I you know made some opposition against my destiny but in vain we must bow down our stubborn wills at last therefore strive to content your self with what Heaven does The love the Prince shew'd in his affectionate and rational discourse recalled my reason back to her first temper I found indeed I gave my self up to dispair unnobly and with much weakness and before he parted I promis'd him to suck at every flower that could but promise the least probability of yeilding any comfort to me He afterwards sent very often to visit me and had obtained so much favour that my chains of close restraint were drawn out to such an extent of liberty that I might now walk freely in a wide Park adjoyning to my Prison where frequently my friends came to give me comfort and helpt to wear out the tedious hours I spent in my confinement One day whilst it was yet very early a Gentleman came to me from Senisra and told me with a smiling countenance which gave me hopes of some approaching joy that it was time to chear my self since that black news of Vneria's death was dispel'd by a most certain news discovery how she was still alive to witness which he presented me a Letter deliver'd him the foregoing night This sudden transport from a depth of sorrow to such a height of joy had almost made me loose my self in wonder and not minding or caring indeed how or by whom this Paper Embassy was come to hand I kiss'd it many times first and then tore it through impatience to read its Contents I yet keep that precious pawn of her affection which I may say was signed with her blood But since I cannot behold or read it without a prologue of tears oblige me so far Sybaris as to ease me of that sorrow by reading it your self Sybaris having unfolded it found these words UNERIA to MERAME The opinion I am possest with of your death may be as false as that which I apprehend you have of mine I live yet Merame thanks to Heaven but 't is only to dye within four dayes which are the remainder of as many more were given me to resolve either to forfeit my life or honour of which time I have wasted this one half only in seeking an opportunity to give you notice of it I now expect the hour patiently which shall make me triumph both over your enemies and mine And if you would not have me regret my death since 't is for yours and Vertues sake I fall comfort your self Merame I conjure you by this last and highest testimony of my Love and live for her sake who thus resolutely resolves to dye for you as being unalterably either in life or death YourVneria Gods Cry'd Sybaris how has this Letter deluded me I expected a quite contrary success and had no place to doubt but it would have establisht your happiness most firmly Indeed pursued Merame the affliction this Letter brought with it was by so much the more sensible as it was unexpected it crush'd down all my young springing hopes and the weak props my reassumed confidence had borrow'd and so infinitely oppressed my heart it never could have risen from under the weight if Senisra having succeeded his Father had not quite knock'd off my fetters of restraint and used all the noble endeavours possible to perswade me not to throw away my life so cheaply but try to carve out a brave revenge for my Vneria To this purpose he made up a reconciliation betwixt Hylebas and me whom he afterwards commanded to quit the Court and doing me the honour to admit me to the same degree of favour as my Antagonist had enjoy'd under Balden he committed the disposal of all offices to my Father whom he elected for the General of his Army Mean time the Scythians who hoped for some advantage in this grand mutation broke out into an absolute War which their daily pilferings and small incursions on either side had long threatned Senisra finding the army his Father had levy'd in a condition to march commended my Father to prevent the Enemies hast on whose Frontiers he appeared before they could have leasure to imagine it I was impatient till we came to blowes and as soon as we had newes of them by our scouts I went out with a party to discover or rather to attaque them That first enterprize succeeding happily for those I engaged were all either cut off or taken prisoners there was not any one of those whom I had subdued of whom I enquired not particularly concerning Vneria who I told them was that fair Captive in Margiana they had put to death a few days since One only of them all told me somewhat he affirmed that their Prince and his son had both been most passionately in Love with her but that the Father prompted by his jealousie had caused her to dye to roote up the sons hopes of injoyment Since himself could not allure her to his own desires her noble vertue having bravely repulsed the hottest of his lustfull onsets The report and the love I had to Vneria together with the hate against her enemies my ressentment resulting from both made me perform such acts as without their impulse I should never have undertaken but those considerations did so animate me that in that dreadful Battle we gained though so dearly that the victory was written in Characters of our own blood and innumerable wounds I had engaged my self so far in the greatest shock of it amongst the Enemies horse that being unable to cut my way back
represent with bitter reproaches that guilt which mov'd him the more sensibâ—â— because he was most innocent of it The small change it wrought upon the Prince abated the edge of his severity he reade the motions of just anger upon his visage and beheld the lineaments of persecuted vertue there but not the least character of a guilty conscience which usually imprints it selfs condemnation on the face and therefore he gave a very willing and patient eare to the discourse he made in his own defence And whether or no he were before perswaded of Theramenes fault he now return'd in some doubt of his innocency and was moreover inclining to a full beleefe of it if that imbecillity which so ordinarily prepossesses men to credit the first impressions had not yet suspended his opinion The relation he made to Ctesiphon found not the same success he rather would fasten the crime upon his son then his wife and Learchus had no small a doe to oppose the resolution he had taken to put him instantly to death by shewing him how necessary it was to have more certaine evidence and stronger proofes Erixone who well fore-saw that if he had the leasure to devest himself of passion and lure his reason to her seate again which now did wildly flutter he would scent out her secret projects and turn the horrid tempest of revenge upon her head mightily press'd to have him punished Learchus defer'd it alwayes and knew so wisely to interpose the importance of such a chastisement to Ctesiphon that he yeilded to the Princes friends and especially to the Princess Arthemisa's moving prayers to have him confronted with Erixone To this effect they brought Theramene forth of his prison who appear'd before his father and those that were assembled there with as much noble confidence as Erixone did with trembling feare this infamous wretch had woven her subtill accusation with so many soft expressions of love towards her husband and the Prince shaped his with such becoming respects for his dear Father that as I have already hinted every one having so faire an opinion of both their vertues would needs beleeve they were both innocent and could not tell on whom to lay the guilt The necessity hoever of deciding this controversy divided their opinions and as it is impossible our inclinations should be balanced so equally as not to weigh more towards one then another either of them had partisans who did suspect the others crime and defend their beleeved innocency Amongst those who more particularly interressed themselves one Tarsus embraced Erixone's cause and Learchus stood for the Princes the first insisted with more noise and heate but the second with more plenty of reason insomuch that the difficulty to give a certain judgement plung'd Ctesiphon into such strange perplexities that according to the various motions of his trouble he sensibly touch'd the Peoples hearts with pitty What said he have I summoned you here to leave me in the labyrinth of a doubt I thought your judgements would have soon unravil'd And if we have no cleerer proofes of the crime and innocency with what justice can we chastice the one and recompense the other Cruell inquietudes how am I involv'd what to judge of my wife or son Oh sad necessity which fatally ordains me to loose one or other if heaven would needs find me an enemy could it not with more justice have cul'd out any others but such as owes me as much love as I did cherish for them but what shall we deliberate in fine Speake wife reply my Son to which of you am I become so hateful which must I loose of the two that are so infinitely deare unto me and to whom I never wanted in my affection The love I beare to her makes him appeare as guilty and when I turne my thoughts on him she stands a criminal offendor in my eye â—ove Nature Come hither joyntly to defend your rights Nature thy plea is first but love thine is more pressing you both sollicite with extreme earnestness but which must I obey The one moves with more tenderness the other with more vehemency Shall I bow to compassion Or give the reines up to my raging anger Oh gods He gave passage to three or foure sighs which stop'd the further enlarging his complaints viewing them both with lookes which beam'd with love and hatred together whilst Theramene wholly interrupted him saying Cease deare Father cease these cruel moanes that torment you you may at the same moment satisfy both your compassion and revenge I am worthy of the one but am not culpable of the other and if nevertheless Erixone or Theramene must perish to appease you never make it a doubt to which of these you are to give the preheminence though I am clearly innocent of the crime I am accus'd of yet I will joyfully sacrifice a life to your repose of which I hold the lease only from heaven and you my death may justly expiate for Erixones crime since I am cause of it and if the consideration of loosing a child doe hinder she is young enough to bring you many more and perhaps you may never meete another woman that you could love with so much heate of passion Erixone would have spoken likewise who during his discourse had by her often shifted countenance given many infallible tokens of her crime if any one had studiously perus'd it but Ctesiphon starting up much troubled commanded the Officers to return with the Prince and retir'd himself to his Closet whence coming forth again Erixone who attended him threw her self at his feet and feigning a despair fearing her life in danger she sob'd forth these words before a great number of people Wherefore do you defer my death my Lord if you esteem me guilty Is it because you know that it would be a more welcome punishment than the suspition you have of my infidelity Yes my Lord I have plainly discern'd that Theramene 's artificial plea has gain'd more credit than my single vertue 't is fit you should ruine a woman to preserve a Traytor because he is your only Son and heir I shall appeal no farther but to give this last assured and becoming testimony of my love I am resolv'd to dye for him since in the doubt you dwell I can no longer be affected by you Ctesiphon would not suffer her to say any more but amorously embracing and raising her up he reply'd thus It is too true Madam that I offend your vertue extreamly by not punishing your false accuser but pardon a Fathers tenderness towards his Son I wrong'd my self most in this case since I oppos'd my own hottest desires which makes me languish to deserve as great returns of love from you as I cherish for you the evidences which you give me of your affection oblige me to a full retaliation and are sufficient to assert the crime of that perfidious child whose sudden chastisement shall satisfie your vertue and my provoked anger He told
But let it be so I must away and I leave all to your undaunted constancy which I dare rely upon though I foresee what tryals there will be to undermine and shake it and remember best of Ladies that having promis'd me your intire love if you now faulter in your faithful resolve you stain your own white soul and spot that innocency that yet is cleerer then the unsoiled Lilly But you will never sin so highly against your own celebrated vertue is it not true Madam the very thoughts I have dress'd in these words aâ—e thâ—refore criminal and I goe from you with thâ— consolation and assurance that whatsoever distance parts our bodies yet our souls will ever dwell together and you continue mine as inseparably and as long as I am yours that to say to all Eternity reply'd she and more said Gadate if it were possible A deep and violent sigh on either side ended this sad discourse and they had no more power of speech left after it but only to give a Melancholly farewel at the last Gadate at parting left her his picture and in a noble Exchange was inrich'd with hers If the trouble and displeasure of this cruel separation disturbed them of that repose which sleep might otherwise have afforded them the joy that flowd in Vectorez mind did the same to him The pleasing thought of having procur'd their parting kept him still waking and the impatience of seeing him though night were almost neere its end so wrack'd him that he accused the Sun of sloth and laziness for not driving away the clowds of darkness sooner and appearing in that Horizon to usher in the long'd for morning that should absent his rival Hardly was the night dismist but he sent Gadate word he must consult with him not that he had any new business but only he thereby meant to rob him of the opportunity of being with Chryseide and when he was come he entertained him with a thousand dissembled caresses and civilities even till the houre of his departure and then would see him mounted and conducted out of the Palace Gates after which he immediately desired an Assembly of all the Court Ladies where Chryseide could not but appear What disorder and torments good heaven did she not suffer when she beheld him neer that had absented her choicest friend so far from her however she dissembled the best she could not to irritate him from whom she had already receiv'd such testimony of anger and Tyranny and of whom she feared worse But to shun his importunities for the time to come she resolv'd to banish her self from the City and intreated one of her kindred to pitty her misfortunes and by carrying her into a remote dwelling where her husband was in the Country to free her from one part of those troubles that fit so heavy on her spirit Vectorez who was informed of her intent immediately summon'd that ladies husband to the Court and having taken away the pretence of Chryseides journey detained her in Babylon and to engage her the more to that abode he bestowd an office at Court on the Unckle she sojourned with which tyed and confined her consequently within his own walls But finding his most sedulous endeavours could gain him no advantage upon her inflexible Spirit and that whatever art he used to conquer her she countermined and made shift to defeate his expectations he was fired with rage and anger and having found out that these two lovers kept a diligent correspondency by paper Embassies he bethought himself of a Stratagem to breed a disaffection in their hearts by the same meanes that they made use of to confirm and cherish the affection they had so solemnly vow'd each other To this effect he sought to corrupt the fidelity of of a woman to whom Chryseide and Gadate confided the sweet commerce of their amours and having gained her by the brightness of that glorious mettle which corrupts the integrity of most people she deliver'd up those letters which they interchangeably sent to one another in whose innocent lines he quickly read the resolution which Chryseide had taken to fly to my Master for Sanctuary against his Persecutions and injoy that rest in his bosome she did in vain expect from the others restless importunity He caused Gadates hand to be exactly counterfeited in a Letter wherein he intreated her not to spur on her designe with so much hast and this he closed up with a Seal of theirs left in their unworthy She-Secretari's hands to make this false Coyn pass the better by that currant stamp It need not beget your wonder that Chryseide did not discover this forgery Lovers read over their welcome Letters with too much hast and passionate interest to examine so nicely She in fine returned him Answer that She waited for his appointment with an impatience great as her Love And to delude Gadate as they had Chryseide he caused her writing to be perfectly well imitated and informing him that being necessarily detain'd at Court for somewhat that much concern'd their happiness she beseeched him to let her defer her Journey yet a while that so she might contrive to do it afterwards with the more safety and less trouble Thus was the fair intentions of these two lovers betray'd and frustrated with as much malice as dexterity and though Vectorez had more of anger and rage then love in the passion he cherish'd for Chryseide yet could he not endure she should have the least inclination for any else And to make the most advantage every way of their absence he gained such of eithers Friends as they most confidently relied upon whom having once seduced he caused a report to be blown about that he was going to have Chryseide match'd to one of his Kindred and at the same time in retribution of my Masters eminent Services that he would bestow upon him the Daughter of a Prince who resided in that Province which his late approved Valour and Prudence had happily ranged and setled in the obedience they justly owed their King These persecuted Lovers were first advertiz'd of the odd report that had been raised and soon after their false Friends confirmed this falser same by their infamous Messages and withall added that the short and feeble resistance that either had made to the first assault and proposition of renouncing their first Love to let in a new guest which should be confirmed by sudden Marriage proved evidently that they had given a full assent This News being convey'd to both by such as they highly respected and heartily believed made up the fulness of that trouble which their long absence had but begun and as the hopes of either was anchor'd only upon their mutually sworn Faith and Stability so the new-born jealousie this treachery had brought forth cast them almost into dispair What whispred the mournful Chryseide Is it possible that Gadate should prove unfaithful that Gadate whom a few dayes since my Love rescued from that death
which his Rival was dragging him to Gods if you be just why do you not show it on this Traytor where is your Thunder or for whom do you keep it that can so highly deserve it since your selves are witnesse of the faith he vowed to me But no stop yet a while your avenging hands suspend the effects of your Justice perhaps it is not true that he betrayes me and I may wish your Judgements should fall on him who keeps as much Love for me still as I can have desires Rather strike him that is the Author of my doubts and suspition Has not that Tyrant yet exasperated your anger long enough to make you dart your Punishments at him Or may he because a King escape unpunished by Heaven for those black and deep crimes he commits upon Earth 'T is he Vnworthy he that certainly still persecutes our harmless Souls he without peradventure tempts my Gadates faith with the same specious proposition of an advantagious Marriage as he does mine But it 's no matter for if that Noble Object of my affection be but truly mine as he so willingly and solemnly engag'd so long as I continue inviolably his he still loves his spotless Chryseide since constant Chryseide adores Gadate nor will his Courage and discretion loose that Victory which she dare promise shall stil triumph over the cursed Vectorez's malice and darkest Plots About the same time that this Unfortunate Lady was bemoaning her hard fate Gadate being assaulted with no less inquietudes because he had no less tenderness and respect for her express'd his bitter sorrows thus Whether the beautious Chryseide continue me her sincere Love or not Said he sighing with a profound sadness Her Infidelity would not excuse my breach of promise and if it be a Truth they write me yet that Fair-false-one deceiving me deceives her self far more it being less evil to be unfortunate then Criminal But I must love her still my heart said he knocking his hand on his brest though she prove inconstant for the Testimonies she gave me of that excellent affection which she however protested to Eternize proceeding from so divine a person are a sufficient Obligation for me not to cease to Love her till I cease to Live and though she be faithless yet is she the happiest coppy of Angelick beauty to my eye that Mortality is capable of and besides why should not I consecrate that poor life to her daily service though slighted which she alone with hazzard of her own did rescue from a violent sudden end But aâ— is it possible Chryseide that the sole inclination you once had for me should â—ake you undervalue Crowns and Scepters and that the violence of the passion which you were pleased to make me believe should live within the Grave it self should not now have he strength to resist the cold and single proposition of a husband whom I dare without pride compare with in all respects and Challenge as inferiour in point and degree of affection After they had thus on either part entertain'd their sad thoughts they dispatched Messages to each other in these or the like termes Chryseide to Gadate I have been inform'd that you were profer'd a Wife where you now reside and which is more if I would readily give credit to all that is reported I must believe that you are willing to accept her But I have not this easie Faith and till you signifie your Levity and Infidelity with your own hand I shall persevere in the more pleasing opinion that you are still intirely mine as I am unchangeably yours Remember I beseech you Gadate before what sacred Witness and with what repeated Oathes you swore Love to me But perhaps it was to cover your Crime that you stopt my Journey to you My presence would ever have reproached you of a disloyalty unworthy of Affection and that happy Creature whom you design to espouse would no doubt have had more generosity then to bestow her heart upon a deceiver from whom she could hope for no other then the like treachery that you commit towards her whom you are engaged to love with as much Constancy as you have Honour Reason or Religion in you Chryseide Gadate to his Chryseide It was needless to give me so many Testimonies of Affection if you intend to abuse me the charmes of beauty and wit would have had dominion enough over the Liberty of my Soul without the prodigal addition of so many flattering vows and promises to confirm a Love which your change condemns of perjury if it be true that you will marry him to whom you have already given the earnest of your Troth But Chryseide will not your Infidelity become a greater prejudice to your own Soul and Honour then the performance of your Oathes And shall I know so much unhappiness as to be ascertain'd that your heart did not prompt your tongue and lips when you pronounc'd those assurances of an Eternal Amity and Love Yes Lady I must believe it and undergo the penalty of shame for having so long worship'd and ador'd an inconstant cruel Woman and complain only that you defeat and betray the hopes you made my Credulous heart conceive of your sincerity who then behold her as the object of his highest felicity and bliss who now is become the only cause of his trouble and misfortune But I forfeit the respect I ow you by these murmurings it were not true Love for you if I should hinder you of those satisfactions take whom you will then Chryseide into your Lawful bed if you can thereby please your self and espouse true happiness in his person these are such wishes as you cannot forbid or chide me for and my true Love at least inspite of your severity and my sad fate shall derive this consolation to rejoyce that you are blest though that be the subject of my dispair which rises from the same source and if I importune you in continuing my more then common respect I shall thereby reap this advantage that my more then Feminine perseverance will be some small revenge for the unfaithfulness wherewith you treat Your most Faithful Gadate Vectorez caused these Letters likewise to be intercepted that so these Lovers might still wander in darkness and errour and that their dispair might be increased by the want of true intelligence Gadate in fine absolutely perswaded of the infidelity of his Mistris dispatched me with a Letter equally composed of love and anger wherein he desired she would restore his picture without the least mention of any reason that urg'd him to it Chryseide who had missed the former complaints which my Master had address'd to her believed infallably that he was false and that because he desired not to leave any tokens of his engagement to her in her possession he now sent for this She first tore his Letter in my presence and afterwards told me with all the reproaches her violent passion could suggest that I should return to my
smart of his wounds tore from his mouth brest his jealousy and passion troubled him more when he understood that he whose valour had carried the prize of Chryseide from his weaker arme and whom he guess'd assuredly to be Gadate had yet escap'd what Demon cry'd he for there can be no men so bold and temerary hath fetch'd away my Enemy and traversing my intentions hath slain my faithful Ministers Gods doe you create Kings to make them so unhappy and doe you grant them so much power to have so little use and command of it when they have need to imploy it Take back the Crown which you have placed on my head I will not hold the Scepter if that be the bar which separates me from Chryseides love the advantage of swaying it bringing the more confusion by the shame for not being puissant enough to subdue the spirit of a woman to the same compliance which she yeilds to one that 's but my subject How unjust you are all the power you give me is it but only to commit murthers and assassinations and the absolute dominion I have over the lives of men might it not better have been limited only to reach the wills of those that are my vassals Or had you but seconded that violence I undertook by the authority I hold from heaven which is to have no other law but my own will I should acquiesce in your decrees but to deride and better scoff at me or rather in truth to bring contempt and scorne upon your selves since I am your own Image here beneath you bring a woman in the lists whom I cannot overcome and if you send a man in for her second he too must be disguis'd under the habit of that timerous sex But no I wrongfully complain of you the irregularity of my passion does abuse me let us make open triall of that Soveraignty is given us that that alone can be effectual since soothings and deceits have proved vain let Chryseide be instantly sent for and what resistance soere she make let her be brought whether she condiscend or not Some of those that were present in his Chamber were already putting themselves in a posture to obey him whom he again stop'd by these words Stay said he I doe not think on what I undertake if there were only Chryseide with Gadate to resist me my passion might be quickly satisfied but I have love to conquer nor have I any cause at all of shame if the highest gods having bowed to his yoake I also yeild to his inevitable doome However let 's try to traverse his intents in all that can be possible and have no more respect to that divinity at all that uses so much cruelty His Physitians and Chyrurgians perceiving him much heated with these bosome contests beseeched him to calme his thoughts a little least it should cause some inflammation in his wounds which otherwise were out of the reach of death and danger He could hardly contain himself but reflecting afterwards upon the design he had propos'd to hide his passion he quarrel'd with his own rash tongue for having proclaim'd so much and strictly enjoyned those that overheard-him never to impart those secrets They all observed this command so religiously that none could imagine for what reason Vectorez would not be seene nor suspect him to have consorted in the rape of Chryseide and the foule attempt against Gadates life What ever informations they could make were lost labours and it would be lock'd up in silent secresy still if she who it rather seem'd had most cause to cover it since she had managed all the bloody tragedy had not reveal'd it first Prinea having heard no news from the King who had through neglect wholly forgotten her but only as an instrument that had caus'd his shame and unhappiness and having certain intelligence that Vectorez had a full intent to have stollen away Chryseide was even pin'd to death with grief when she remembred that her self had procured that happy occasion as she judg'd it for her rival and beginning to shake off the fond opinion of the Kings affection to her she thought it would be the more compleat revenge for his disdain and falsehood by rendring him the more hateful to her whose love he hunted for through so much trouble and danger And that to this purpose it would be best to let Chryseide and Gadate be acquainted that 't was Vectorez who had attempted the rape of the one and murther of the other and at the first visite she made her cousin she revealed the whole secret to her Though Chryseide were struck with amazement yet she was easily induced to beleeve it because she was no stranger to the Kings violence and passion and knowing it was now too late to conceale her affection to Gadate and his reciprocally to her again she gave him immediate notice thereof Gadate who was extremely generous could hardly beleeve the design of so black a deed could be hatch'd in the mind of such a man who was borne a Prince and to whom the gods had given so much Authority only that he might doe justice to his subjects The notice however they had taken of the villain that was last kill'd who was well known to be one of the Kings Officers before they had carried him thence was a strong argument of this truth besides many other particularities which she told him to which he had not till then lent any observation or beleefe Vectorez notwithstanding to take away all suspition and wipe out all those impressions that Chryseide might stamp in his mind sent to visit him and let him know that if he had not been constrain'd to confine himself to his Chamber by reason of a slight indisposition which hindred him from going abroad he would have come in person to witness his sorrow for that accident intreating him only to be careful of his recovery whilst himself would take care to seek out his Enemies to make an exemplary Justice by which it should appear that they had mortally offended him in his person To combat these malitious impostures Chryseide was forc'd to discover the secret of the Kings passion towards her to Gadate in that excess which he as yet had not imagin'd and the testimony and Seals his letter contain'd which she imparted to him and what Prinea had related as a farther proof in this point The certain knowledge of such a puissant rival began to disquiet his soul and would have wholly discompos'd his mind if that faire Creature who soon read it by the alterations in his face had not quickly dispel'd the tempest which his jealousy was gathering by these Words Feare not Gadate you have no cause to feare I know what the sadness of your lookes express but let not the highest proofes of his love I have revealed raise any doubts If this puissant rival whom you dread have found no greater obstacle to his love then the dispositions I had towards you