ENGLISH-MEN For my Money OR A pleasant Comedy called A Woman will haue her Will Imprinted at London by W. White dwelling in Cow-lane 1616 The Actors names Pisaro a Portingale Pisaros Daughters Laurentia Marina Mathea Anthony a Schoolemaister to them Suters to Pisaros Daughters Haruie Ferdinand or Heigham Ned or Walgraue Suters also to the 3. daughters Delion a Frenchman Aluaro an Italian Vandalle a Dutchman Frisco a Clowne Pisaros man M. Moore Towerson a Marchant Balsaro Browne a Clothier A Post A Belman Enter PISARO Pisaro HOw smugge this gray-eyde Morning seemes to bee A pleasant sight but yet more pleasure haue I To thinke vpon this moystning Southwest Winde That driues my laden Shippes from fertile Spaine But come what will no Winde can come amisse For two and thirty Windes that rules the Seas And blowes about this ayerie Region Thirtie two Shippes haue I to equall them Whose wealthy fraughts doe make Pisaro rich Thus euery Soyle to mee is naturall Indeed by birth I am a Portingale Who driuen by Westerne winds on English shore Heere liking of the soyle I maried And haue Three Daughters But impartiall Death Long since depriude mee of her dearest life Since whose discease in London I haue dwelt And by the sweete loude trade of Usurie Letting for Interest and on Morgages Doe I waxe rich though many Gentlemen By my extortion comes to miserie Amongst the rest three English Gentlemen Haue pawnde to mee their Liuings and their Lands Each seuerall hoping though their hopes are vaine By mariage of my Daughters to possesse Their Patrimonies and their Landes againe But Gold is sweete and they deceiue them-selues For though I guild my Temples with a smile It is but Iudas-like to worke their endes But soft What noyse of footing doe I heare Enter Laurentia Marina Mathea and Anthony Laur. Now Maister what intend you to read to vs Anth. Pisaro your Father would haue me read morall Philosophy Mari. What 's that Anth. First tell mee how you like it Math. First tell vs what it is Pisa. They be my Daughters and their Schoole-maister Pisaro not a word but list their talke Anth. Gentlewomen to paint Philosophy Is to present youth with so sowre a dish As their abhorring stomackes nill digestes When first my mother Oxford Englands pride Fostred mee puple-like with her rich store My study was to read Philosophy But since my head-strong youths vnbridled will Scorning the leaden fetters of restraint Hath prunde my feathers to a higher pitch Gentlewomen Morall Philosophy is a kind of art The most contrary to your tender sexes It teacheth to be graue and on that brow Where Beawtie in her rarest glory shines Plants the sad semblance of decayed age Those Weedes that with their riches should adorne And grace faire Natures curious workmanship Must be conuerted to a blacke fac'd vayle Griefes liuerie and Sorrowes semblance Your food must be your hearts aboundant sighes Steep'd in the brinish licquor of your teares Day-light as darke-night darke-night spent in prayer Thoughts your companions and repentant mindes The recreation of your tired spirits Gentlewomen if you can like this modestie Then will I read to you Philosophy Laur. Not I Mari. Fie vpon it Math. Hang vp Philosophy I le none of it Pisar. A Tutor said I a Tutor for the Diuell Anth. No Gentlewomen Anthony hath learn'd To read a Lector of more pleasing worth Marina read these lines young Haruie sent them There euery line repugnes Philosophy Then loue him for he hates the thing thou hates Laurentia this is thine from Ferdinande Thinke euery golden circle that thou see'st The rich vnualued circle of his worthe Mathea with these Gloues thy Ned salutes thee As often as these hide these from the Sunne And Wanton steales a kisse from thy faire hand Presents his seruiceable true harts zeale Which waites vpon the censure of thy doome What though their Lands be morgag'd to your Father Yet may your Dowries redeeme that debt Thinke they are Gentlemen and thinke they loue And be that thought their true loues aduocate Say you should wed for Wealth for to that scope Your Fathers greedy disposition tendes The world would say that you were had for Wealth And so faire Beawties honour quite distinct A masse of Wealth being powrde vpon another Little augments the shew although the summe But beeing lightly scattred by it selfe It doubles what it seem'd although but one Euen so your selues for wedded to the Rich His stile was as it was a Rich man still But wedding these to wed true Loue is dutie You make them rich in Wealth but more in Beawtie I need not plead that smile that smile shewes hearts consent That kisse shew'd loue that on that gift was lent And last thine Eyes that teares of true ioy sendes As comfortable tidings for my friends Mari. Haue done haue done what need'st thou more procure When long ere this I stoop'd to that faire lure Thy euer louing Haruie I delight it Marina euer louing shall requite it young Teach vs Philosphy I le be no Nunne Age scornes Delight I loue it being There 's not a word of this not a words part But shall be stamp'd seal'd printed on my heart On this I le read on this my senses ply All Arts being vaine but this Philosophy Laur. Why was I made a Mayde but for a Man And why Laurentia but for Ferdinand The chastest Soule these Angels could intice Much more himselfe an Angell of more price were 't thy selfe present as my heart could wish Such vsage thou shouldst haue as I giue this Anth. Then you would kisse him Laur. If I did how then Anth. Nay I say nothing to it but Amen Pisa. The Clarke must haue his fees I le pay you them Math. Good God how abiect is this single life I le not abide it Father Friends nor Kin Shall once disswade me from affecting A man 's a man and Ned is more then one Y fayth I le haue thee Ned or I le haue none Doe what they can chafe chide or storme their fill Mathea is resolu'd to haue her will Pisa. I can no longer hold my patience Impudent villanie and laciuious Girles I haue ore-heard your vild conuersions You scorne Philosophy You 'le be no Nunne You must needes kisse the Pursse because he sent it And you forsooth you flurgill minion A brat scant folded in the dozens at most You le haue your will forsooth What will you haue Math. But twelue yeare old nay Father that 's not so Our Sexton told mee I was three yeares mo Pisa. I say but twelue you 'r best tell mee I lye What sirra Anthony Anth. Heere sir Pisa. Come here sir you light huswiues get you in Stare not vpon me moue me not to ire Exeunt sisters Nay sirra stay you here I le talke with you Did I retaine thee villaine in my house Gaue thee a stipend twenty Markes by yeare And hast thou thus infected my three Girles Vrging the loue of
to all de world Pisa. Aluaro here 's my Keyes take all I haue My Money Plate Wealth Iewels Daughter too Now God be thanked that I haue a Daughter worthy to be Aluaro bed fellow Oh how I doe admire and prayse thy wit I le straight about it Heare you Maister Moore Enter Marina and Frisco Frisc. Nay sayth hee 's sicke therefore though hee be come yet he can doe you no good there 's no remedy but euen to put your selfe into the hands of the Italian that by that time that he hath past his grouth young Haruie will be in case to come vpon it with a sise of fresh force Mari. Is my Loue come sicke I now thou louest me How my heart ioyes Oh God get I my will I le driue away that Sicknesse with a kisse I need not faine for I could weepe for ioy Pisa. It shall be so come hither Daughter Maister Haruie that you may see my loue Comes from a single heart vnfaynedly See heere my Daughter her I make thine owne Nay looke not strange before these Gentlemen I freely yeeld Marina for thy Wife Haru. Stay stay good sir forbeare this idle worke My soule is labouring for a higher place Then this vaine transitorie world can yeeld What would you wed your Daughter to a Graue For this is but Deaths modell in mans shape You and Aluaro happie liue togeather Happy were I to see you liue togeather Pisa. Come sir I trust you shall doe well againe Heere heere it must be so God giue you ioy And blesse you not a day to liue togeather Vand. Hort ye broder will ye let den ander heb your Wiue nempt haer nempt haer your selue Alua. No no tush you be de foole here be dat sal spoyle de mariage of hem you haue deceue me of de fine Wensh signor Haruey but I sal deceue you of de mush Land Haru. Are all things sure Father is all dispatch'd Pisa. What intrest we haue we yeeld it you Are you now satisfied or restes there ought Haru. Nay Father nothing doth remaine but thankes Thankes to your selfe first that disdayning mee Yet loude my Lands and for them gaue a Wife But next vnto Aluaro let me turne To courtious gentle louing kind Aluaro That rather then to see me die for loue For very loue would loose his beawtious Loue Vand. Ha ha ha Deli. Signor Aluaro giue him de ting quickly sal make hem dy autremant you sal lose de fine Wensh Alua. Oyime che hauesse allhora appressata la mano al mio core ô suen curato ate I che longo sei tu arriuato ô cieli ô terra Pisa. Am I awake or doe deluding Dreames Make that seeme true which most my soule did feare Haru Nay fayth Father it 's very certaine true I am as well as any man on earth Am I sicke sirres Looke here is Haruie sicke Pisa. What shall I doe What shall I say Did not you counsaile mee to wed my Childe What Potion Where 's your helpe your remedy Haru. I hope more happy Starres will reigne to day And don Aluaro haue more company Enter Anthonie Antho. Now Anthony this cottens as it should And euery thing sorts to his wish'd effect Haruie ioyes Moll my Dutchman and the French Thinking all sure laughs at Aluaros hap But quickly I shall marre that merrie vaine And make your Fortunes equall with your Friends Pisa. Sirra Mowche what answere brought you backe Will maister Balsaro come as I requested Anth. Maister Balsaro I know not who you meane Pisa. Know you not Asse did I not send thee for him Did not I bid thee bring him with the Parson What answere made hee will hee come or no Anth. Sent me for him why sir you sent not mee I neither went for him nor for the Parson I am glad to see your Worship is so merrie Knocke Pisa. Hence you forgetfull dolt Looke downe who knockes Exit Antho. Enter Frisco Frisco Oh Maister hange your selfe nay neuer stay for a Sessions Maister Vandalle confesse your selfe desire the people to pray for you for your Bride shee is gone Laurentia is run away Vanda. Oh de Diabolo de mal-fortune is matresse Laurentia gaen awech Pisa. First tell mee that I am a liuelesse coarse Tell mee of Doomes-day tell mee what you will Before you say Laurentia is gone Mari. Maister Vandalle how doe you feele your selfe What hang the head fie man for shame I say Looke not so heauie on your marriage day Haru. Oh blame him not his griefe is quickly spide That is a Bridegroome and yet wants his Bride Enter Heigham Laurentia Balsaro Anthony Bals. Maister Pisaro and Gentlemen good day to all According sir as you requested mee This morne I made repaire vnto the Tower Where as Laurentia now was married And sir I did expect your comming thither Yet in your absence wee perform'd the rites Therefore I pray sir bid God giue them ioy Heigh. He tels you true Laurentia is my Wife Who knowing that her Sisters must be wed Presuming also that you 'le bid her welcome Are come to beare them company to Church Haru. You come too late the Mariage rites are done Yet welcome twenty-fold vnto the Feast How say you sirs did not I tell you true These Wenches would haue vs and none of you Laur. I cannot say for these but on my life This loues a Cusshion better then a Wife Mall And reason too that Cusshion fell out right Else hard had been his lodging all last night Bals. Maister Pisaro why stand you speachlesse thus Pisa. Anger and extreame griefe enforceth mee Pray sir who bade you meete mee at the Tower Bals. Who sir your man sir Mowche here he is Anth. Who I sir meane you mee you are a iesting man Pisa. Thou art a Villaine a dissembling Wretch Worser then Anthony whom I kept last Fetch me an Officer I le hamper you And make you sing at Bride-well for this tricke For well he hath deserude it that would sweare He went not foorth a dores at my appoyntment Anth. So sweare I still I went not foorth to day Bals. Why arrant lyer wert thou not with mee Pisa. How say you maister Browne went he not foorth Brow Hee or his likenesse did I know not whether Pisa. What likenesse can there be besides himselfe Laur. My selfe forsooth that tooke his shape vpon me I was that Mowche that you sent from home And that same Mowche that deceiued you Effected to possesse this Gentleman Which to attaine I thus be guil'd you all Frisc. This is excellent this is as fine as a Fiddle you M. Heigham got the Wench in Mowches apparell now let Mowche put on her apparell and be married to the Dutchman How thinke you is it not a good vize Moor. Maister Pisaro shake off melancholy When thinges are helpelesse patience must be vs'd Pisa. Talke of Patience I le not beare these wronges Goe call downe Matt and mistris Susan Moore T
London for a man That were a French-man and Musitian To be as I suppose his Daughters Tutor Him if you meete as like enough you shall He will inquire of you of his affayres Then make him answere you three came from Paules And in the middle walke one you espide Fit for his purpose then discribe this Cloake This Beard and Hatte for in this borrowed shape Must I beguile and ouer-reach the Foole The Maydes must be acquainted with this drift The Doore doth ope I dare not stay reply Least beeing discride Gentlemen adue And helpe him now that oft hath helped you Exit Enter Frisco the Clowne Wal. How now sirra whither are you going Fris. Whither am I going how shall I tell you when I doe not know my selfe nor vnderstand my selfe Heigh. What dost thou meane by that Frisc. Marry sir I am seeking a Needle in a Bottle of Hay a Monster in the liknesse of a Man one that in stead of good morrow asketh what Porrage you haue to Dinner Parley vous signiour one that neuer washes his fingers but lickes them cleane with kisses a clipper of the Kings English and to conclude an eternall enemie to all good Language Haru. What 's this what 's this Fris. Doe not you smell me Well I perceiue that witte doth not always dwel in a Satten-dublet why t is a Frenchman Bassimon cue how doe you Haru. I thanke you sir but tell me what wouldest thou doe with a French-man Fris. Nay fayth I would doe nothing with him vnlesse I set him to teach Parrets to speake marry the old Asse my Maister would haue him to teach his Daughters though I trust the whole world sees that there be such in his house that can serue his Daughters turne as well as the proudest French-man but if you be good laddes tell me where I may finde such a man Heigh. We will goe hye thee straight to Paules There shalt thou find one fitting thy desire Thou soone mayst know him for his Beard is blacke Such is his rayment if thou runn'st appace Thou canst not misse him Frisco Fris. Lord Lord how shall poore Phrisco rewarde your rich tydings Gentlemen I am yours till Shrouetewesday for then change I my Coppy looke like nothing but Red-Herring Cobbes and Stock-Fish yet I le doe somewhat for you in the meane time my Maister is abroad and my young Mistresses at home if you can doe any good on them before the French-man corne why so Ah Gentlemen doe not suffer a litter of Languages to spring vp amongst vs I must to the Walke in Paules you to the Vestrie Gentlemen as to my selfe and so foorth Exit Frisco Haru. Fooles tell the truth men say and so may he Wenches we come now Loue our conduct be Ned knocke at the doore but soft forbeare Enter Lawrentia Marina and Mathea The Cloude breakes vp and our three Sunnes appeare To this I fly shine bright my liues sole stay And make griefes night a gloryous summers day Mari. Gentlemen how welcome you are here Guesse by our lookes for other meanes by feare Preuented is our fathers quicke returne Forbidds the welcome else we would haue done Walg. Mathea How these faythfull thoughts obey Mat. No more sweet loue I know what thou would'st say You say you loue me so I wish you still Loue hath loues hier being ballancst with good will But say come you to vs or come you rather To pawne more Lands for mony to our father I know t is so a Gods name spend at large What man our mariage day will all discharge Our father by his leaue must pardon vs Age saue of age of nothing can discusse But in our loues the prouerbe wee le fulfill Women and Maydes must alwayes haue their will Heigh. Say thou as much and adde life to this Coarse Law Your selfe your good news doth more enforce How these haue set forth loue by all their witte I sweare in heart I more then double it Sisters be glad for he hath made it playne The meanes to get our Schoole-maister againe But Gentlemen for this time cease our loues This open streete perhaps suspition moues Fayne we would stay bid you walke in more rather But that we feare the comming of our father Goe to th' Exchange craue Gold as you intend Pisaro scrapes for vs for vs you spend We say farewell more sadlier be bold Then would my greedy father to his Gold Wee here you there aske Gold and Gold you shall Wee le pay the intrest and the principall Exeunt Sisters Walg. That 's my good Girles and I le pay you for all Haru. Come to th' Exchange and when I feele decay Send me such Wenches Heauens I still shall pray Exeunt Enter Pisaro Delion the Frenchman Vandalle the Dutchman Aluaro the Italian and other Marchants at seuerall doores Pisa. Good morrow M. Strangers Strang. Good morrow sir Pisaro This louing friends hath thus emboldned me For knowing the affection and the loue Maister Vandalle that you beare my Daughter Likwise and that with ioy considering too you Mounsier Delion would faine dispatch I promise you mee thinkes the time did fit And does bir-Lady too in mine aduice This day to clap a full conclusion vp And therefore made I bold to call on you Meaning our businesse done here at the Burse That you at mine intreaty should walke home And take in worth such Viands as I haue And then we would and so I hope we shall Loosely tye vp the knot that you desire But for a day or two and then Church rites Shall sure conforme confirme and make all fast Vand. Seker Mester Pisaro mee do so groterly dancke you dat you macke mee so sure of de Wench datt ic can neit dancke you genough Delio. Monsieur Pisaro mon pere mon Vadere Oh de grande ioye you giue me oconte mee sal go home to your House sal eat your Bakon sal eat your Beefe and shal tacke de Wench de fine Damoysella Pisa. You shall and welcome welcome as my soule But were my third Sonne sweete Aluaro heere Wee would not stay at the Exchange to day But hye vs home and there end our affayres Enter Moore and Towerson Moore Good day maister Pisaro Pisa. Maister Moore marry with all my heart good morrow sir What newes What newes Moore This Marchant heere my friend would speake with you Tower Sir this iolly South-west wind with gentle blast Hath driuen home our long expected Shippes All laden with the wealth of ample Spaine And but a day is past since they ariude Safely at Plimmouth where they yet abide Pisa. Thankes is too small a guerdon for such newes How like you this Newes friends Maister Vandalle Heer 's somewhat towards for my Daughters Dowrie Heer 's somewhat more then we did yet expect Tower But heare you sir my businesse is not done From these same Shippes I did receiue these lines And there inclosde this same Bill of exchange To pay at sight
Sisters Laur. Nay neuer weepe Marina for the matter Teares are but signes of sorrow helping not Mari. Would it not madde one to be crost as I Being in the very hight of my desire The strangers frustrate all our true loue 's come Nay more euen at the doore and Haruies armes Spred as a Rayne-bow ready to receiue me And then my Father meete vs Oh God oh God Math. Weepe who that list for me y fayth not I Though I am youngest yet my stomack 's great Nor t is not father friends nor any one Shall make me wed the man I cannot loue I le haue my will ynfayth y'fayth I will Laur. Let vs determine Sisters what to doe My father meanes to wed vs in the morning And therefore something must be thought vpon Mari. Wee le to our father and so know his minde I and his reason too we are no fooles Or Babes neither to be fedde with words Laur. Agreede agreede but who shall speake for all Math. I will Mari. No I Laur. Thou wilt not speake for crying Mari. Yes yes I warrant you that humors left Bee I but mou'de a little I shall speake And anger him I feare ere I haue done Enter Anthony All Whom Anthony our friend our Schoole-maister Now helpe vs Gentle Anthony or neuer Antho. What is your hastie running chang'd to prayer Say where were you going Laur. Euen to our father To know what he intendes to doe with vs Antho. T is bootlesse trust mee for he is resolu'd To marry you to Mari. The Strangers Antho. Y fayth he is Math. Y fayth he shall not Frenchman be sure wee le plucke a Crow together Before you force mee giue my hand at Church Mari. Come to our Father speach this comfort finds That we may scould out griefe and ease our mindes Anth. Stay Stay Marina and aduise you better It is not Force but Pollicie must serue The Dores are lockt your Father keepes the Keye Wherefore vnpossible to scape away Yet haue I plotted and deuis'd a drift To frustrate your intended mariages And giue you full possession of your ioyes Laurentia ere the mornings light appeare You must play Anthony in my disguise Math. Anthony what of vs What shall we weare Mari. Anthony what of vs What shall we weare Anth. Soft soft you are too forward Girles I sweare For you some other drift deuisd must bee One shaddow for a substance this is shee Nay weepe not sweetes repose vpon my care For all alike or good or bad shall share You will haue Haruie you Heigham and you Ned You shall haue all your wish or be I dead For sooner may one day the Sea lie still Then once restraine a Woman of her will All Sweete Anthony how shall we quit thy hire Anth. Not gifts but your contentments I desire To helpe my Countrimen I cast about For Strangers loues blase fresh but soone burne out Sweete rest dwell heere and frightfull feare obiure These eyes shall wake to make your rest secure For ere againe dull night the dull eyes charmes Each one shall fould her Husband in her armes Which if it chaunce we may auouch it still Women Maydes will alwayes haue their will Exeunt Enter Pisaro and Frisco Pisa. Are Wood Coales brought vp to make a fire Is the Meate spitted ready to lie downe For Bakemeates I le haue none the world 's too hard There 's Geese too now I remember mee Bid Mawdlin lay the Giblets in Past Here 's nothing thought vpon but what I doe Stay Frisco see who ringes looke to the Dore Let none come in I charge were he my Father I le keepe them whilst I haue them Frisco who is it Frisc. She is come ynfayth Pisa. Who is come Frisc. Mistris Sushaunce Mistris Moores daughter Pisa. Mistris Susan Asse Oh she must come in Frisc. Hang him if he keepe out a Wench Yf the Wench keepe not out him so it is Enter Walgraue in Womans attire Pisa. Welcome Mistris Susan welcome I little thought you would haue come to night But welcome trust me are you to my house What doth your Mother mende doth she recouer I promise you I am sorry for her sicknesse Walg. She 's better then she was I thanke God for it Pisa. Now afore God she is a sweete smugge Girle One might doe good on her the flesh is frayle Man hath infirmitie and such a Bride Were able to change Age to hot desire Harke you Sweet-heart To morrow are my Daughters to be wedde I pray you take the paines to goe with them Walg. If sir you le giue me leaue I le waight on them Pisa. Yes marry shall you and a thousand thankes Such company as you my Daughters want Maydes must grace Maydes when they are married I st not a merry life thinkes thou to wed For to imbrace and be imbrac'd abed Walg. I know not what you meane sir Heere 's an old Ferret Pol-cat Pisa. You may doe if you le follow mine aduice I tell thee Mouse I knew a Wench as nice Well shee 's at rest poore soule I meane my Wife That thought alas good heart Loue was a toy Vntill well that time is gon and past away But why speake I of this Harke yee Sweeting There 's more in Wedlocke then the name can shew And now birlady you are ripe in yeares And yet take heed Wench there lyes a Pad in Straw Walg. Old Fornicator had I my Dagger I de breake his Costard Pisa. Young men are slippery fickle wauering Constant abiding graceth none but Age Then Maydes should now waxe wise and doe so As to chuse constant men let fickle goe Youth 's vnregarded and vnhonoured An auncient Man doth make a Mayde a Matron And is not that an Honour how say you how say you Walg. Yes forsooth Oh old lust will you neuer let me goe Pisa. You say right well and doe but thinke thereon How Husbands honored yeares long car'd-for wealth Wise stayednesse Experient gouernment Doth grace the Mayde that thus is made a Wise And you will wish your selfe such on my life Walg. I thinke I must turne womankind altogeather And scratch out his eyes For as long as he can see me he le nere let me goe Pisa. But goe sweet-heart to bed I doe thee wrong The latenesse now makes all our talke seeme long Enter Anthony How now Mowche be the Girles abed Anth. Mathea and it like you faine would sleepe but onely tarrieth for her bed-fellow Pisa. Ha you say well come light her to her Chamber Good rest wish I to thee wish so to mee Then Susan and Pisaro shall agree Thinke but what ioy is neere your bed-fellow Such may be yours take counsaile of your Pillow To morrow wee le talke more and so good night Thinke what is sayd may bee if all hit right Walg. What haue I past the Pikes knowes he not Ned I thinke I haue deseru'd his Daughters bed Anth. T is well t is well but this let me request You