in these ceremonies there are a thousand whom it be commeth so ill to vse them that it will make you sicke at the heart to sée it and you shall see some of them goe so vntowardly to woorke that coueting to bee courtlike they become plaine cartlike As I haue séene some talking with the Duke my maister and séeing him bare headed haue taken his arme with both their handes and made him put on his hat Annib. He should haue put it of againe to haue shewed that he was not bare in respect of them but because of the heate Guaz. But there was another behaued himselfe somewhat better who talking with the Duke being vncouered tooke his cap foorth of his hand and put it vppon his head So that I say againe that I can in no way away with these ceremonies which are no lesse vnseemely in worldly matters then they are conuenient in sacred and diuine thinges Annib. I sée not how those thinges can dislike you which commonly like all men Guaz. I thinke you mistake for I know many who professe them selues mortall enemies to those ceremonies Annib. Those same and beleeue me openly detest them but secretly desire them and if you well consider the matter thorowly with your selfe you shall knowe that ceremonies displease no bodie For this is certaine that they are doone in signe of honour and there is not hée who is not glad with all his hearte to bee honoured and who ought not to bée glad to honour another for so muche as according to the saying of the Philosopher hée whiche honoureth receiueth more honour then hee whiche is honoured for like vnto the Sunne the beames of honour by reflexion as it were doe shine backe againe vppon him And as hée whiche is ceremonious may bée thought to bée a dissembler so hée whiche is not so may bée taken to bée a clowne a rudesby or a contemner of others I will not say that they doe yll whiche pray you to vse no ceremonies in respect of them but I rather commende them For their very saying so is a certaine kinde of Ceremonie and behauiour whereby they goe about to couer their ambition and it is according to the fashion of Phisitions who for manner sake sometime refuse money with their mouth but take it with their hearte and finger it with their handes And as the sacred Ceremonies which are veide of superstition are not displeasant in Gods sight and stirre vp to deuotion the mindes of the ignorant people whiche are not come to the perfect knoweledge of Gods worde so these worldly ceremonies purchase vs the good will of our friendes and superiours to whom they are addressed and make vs knowne for ciuile people and from rude countrie loutes Guaz. Howe then must wée behaue our selues in Ceremonies Annib. Mary in such sort that he which vseth them bewray thereby the affection of his heart that the inward loue may bée knowne as well as the outwarde honour is séene otherwise ceremonies are lothsome vnto vs and shew that the hearte is faigned And on the other side it is the parte of him whiche receiueth these outwarde honours first modestly to refuse them shewing thereby that hée looketh not for them otherwise hée shall shewe to bée somewhat proude which is most hurtful in conuersation And besides you knowe well that your equall doth honour vnto you rather of curtesie then of dutie and when you shal accept those honours as due vnto you and as of your inferiour you shall make him care but a little what reuerence hée sheweth vnto you To bée short wée must receiue honour at our friends handes rather as offered by them then looked for by vs and it is not amisse to follow the example of that discrete gentleman who after long strife betwéene him and certaine of his friendes who should first enter into the house saith You may nowe knowe well howe muche I am at your commaunde séeing I am ready to obey you in thinges which turn to my dishonor which said he entred in without strayning curtesie any longer Guaz. I allowe the reasons alleadged by you to maintaine Ceremonies but I will say vnto you that they ought to bée obserued rather amongest strangers then familiar friendes For if I bée not deceiued true friendship can away neither with Ceremonious wordes nor déedes Annib. I am in déede of your minde that from true friendship Ceremonies shoulde be taken But where at this day are those true friendes to bee found Know you not that according to the Philosopher Perfect friendshippe extendeth not towardes diuers persons but is restrained to the loue of one alone I knowe not who is your assured friende but I am sure that I haue not yet founde mine with whom I might vse suche open simple and frée behauiour as you meane For you must thinke it a harde matter to finde in the worlde two heartes which loue perfectly And though in token of true friendship you call your companion brother perchaunce hee shall haue no minde to tearme you so and to take that custome from you hée wyll call you Maister Guazzo And that you may not vse too familiar spéeche to him hée will speake to your worship in suche sorte that you shall bée faine to retyre one steppe backe and vse him rather Ceremoniously then louingly Of this common course of the world I gather that those with whom wee are conuersaunt being rather well willers then true friendes it is our partes to take héede of too broade and to familiar behauiour with them whereby wée may hazzarde to loose their good will and to followe the example of Flies which will not become tame amongst vs though they dayly dwell with vs eate of our cates when wée doe Guaz. I remaine satisfied of all that you haue spoken Nowe I consider with my selfe that this your discourse comprehendeth generall matters and agréeth to all sortes of persons And therefore I woulde bee glad that you shoulde declare particularly the meanes that euery one ought to obserue according to his estate and calling Annib. Wee haue already saide that it is a matter impossible to set downe particularly what euery one ought to doe in companie and therefore it shall suffice only to consider that the thinges afore spoken ought to bée common to all like as the stréetes the Churches the Fountaines and common Conduites are But as euery one indeuoureth to get and appropriate to him either house landes or moueables in like sort euery one in his order of life and conuersation ought to propose vnto him selfe speciall lawes and suche a kinde of behauiour as shall bée conuenient to his calling But to reape the right fruite of conuersation whiche consisteth chiefly in the good will of others it is necessary that wée knowe and learne not onely what belongeth to our selues but also howe to behaue our selues towardes others according to the difference of their estates for that it is our hap to come in companie somtime with the
doores to doe our businesse in dealing with men for feare of ill companie As if you were bounde from Padua to Venice you will not let slip oportunitie for that you will not imbarke your selfe in a vessell wherin there are sometime men women religious seculer Souldiours Courtiers Almans Frenchmen Spaniards Iewes and other of diuers nations and qualities And therefore wée must force our will and make it sometime content it selfe with that it liketh not whereof followeth a vertue of necessitie Touching this I will tell you that the place time haue sometime forced mee to be present rather with my bodie then minde in the companie of those persons which I could verie ill away withall as beeing altogether different from my manner of life and profession from whom neuerthelesse I could not withdrawe my selfe least I shoulde bée thought to take vpon mée either too muche grauitie or too litle courtesie And though at the first I was in my dumpes yet afterwarde I went away well pleased and ioyful séeing that I had so well framed my selfe to the humours of others and that I had got my selfe honestly away being verie well thought of by the companie when I was gone so likewise when you shall be acquainted with the course of the worlde and when by long vse you shal be brought to abide the companie of suche manner of people you shal perceiue that if it be not good for your health yet at least it shal not be hurtful Guaz. I plainly perceiue the vnderstanding you haue as well of thinges belonging to the vertue of the minde as the health of the bodie And for that I loue of life to heare such discourses I should bee verie glad if it might so please you wee might enter into argument which is more auaileable to mans state of solitarines or coÌ„uersation for I would be loth you should at any time teach mée to take a medicine which might procure health to my bodie and sicknesse to my minde which I could neuer finde in my heart to doe but had a great deale rather ende my dayes hardly in some desart Anniball There are certeine kindes of spectacles which make thinges shewe greater then they are so your courteous good will maketh you go beyond the trueth in the iudgement of my knowledge which commeth nothing néere to that you speake of and yet it is not so litle but it knoweth that the Gentleman which warneth and summoneth me to this combat is verie well appointed of weapons and courage Yet notwithstanding without loosing any more time in excusing my ignoraunce I am readie to heare most willingly wherevpon your opinion is grounded which séemeth to incline to solitarinesse to the intent to answere you not learnedly but according to the abilitie of my weake capacitie Guaz. Thinke not I beséech you that I enter into the lystes against you like a subtile Logitian for I neuer learned the places from whence argumentes are drawen and that which I say is rather of mine owne opinion then by any iudgement or learning but my desire is to giue you occasion to giue mée some light of knowledge being willing rather to vnderstande then to withstande for when you make answere to my demaundes I take so great pleasure in it that I may say with the Poet Dant Your resolutions doe me content so well That I delight as much to aske as if my selfe could tel Annib. I attribute all that to your curtesie Nowe I will tell you touching this matter that if we will doe our diligent endeuour to searche out the effectes of solitarinesse and Conuersation howe many sortes there are of them and howe they are to be vnderstood wée shall soone be agreed and we shall not néede to imploy much time in reasoning of the matter Wherevpon I would haue vs differ a litle suspend these seuerall pointes and first intreate of this matter in generall that thereby I may haue occasion to enioy longer your delightfull and discréete communication But I will not forget as one that tendreth your health to put you in remembrance that it is not good for your sickly bodie to occupie your minde ouer earnestly in considering the matter ouer déepely for oftentimes the desire of gainsaying and to haue the vpper hande in reasoning doth inflame distemper and distroy the bodie And thereof come oftentimes reumes whiâ—h deceiue many Phisitions and make them iudge that they procéede of contrarie causes Wherefore I aduise you for your health and mine also not to bée too earnest in this discourse and so I shall with more ease be able to answere you Guaz. I am not sir any of those vainglorious persons which contende earnestly to the intent to be counted more braue fellowes then other I will vtter plainly those things which I remember to haue heard heretofore of the learned and which shall be put into my head by the spirite of reason referring afterward the whole to your sound perfect iudgement Annib. I am verie glad our discourses are rather familiar and pleasaunt then affected and graue and I protest for my parte many tymes as occasion shall serue to let you heare Prouerbes which verie Artificers haue in their mouth and comptes which are vsed to bée â—old by the fire side both for that I naturally liue by suche foode and also to giue you occasion to doe the like and thereby to haue an eye as well to the health of the bodie as the minde Guaz. I promise to imitate you so much as I may and to fall nowe to the skirmishe I say first that to climbe to the true seruice of God and the enioying of those heauenly incomprehensible and eternall benefites which he hath promised to his faithfull the desartes al by places and solitarie are the right ladders And contrariwise companies are nought els but hookes and tonges which withdrawing vs by force out of the course of our good thoughtes set vs in the way of distruction for that this life béeing full of suspitions deceites lasciuiousnesse periuries detractions enuy oppressions violences and other innumerable mischiefes a man can not turne his eyes aside but that he shal be forced to beholde some euil thing or other which entereth and insinuateth it selfe by a broade way vnto the heart where afterwarde are planted those venimous graftes which growe to the destruction of the soule The which neuer happeneth to the solitarie who being safe from all inticements intanglinges and surprises being altogether out of loue with the worlde is whollie raised vp to the contemplation of his originall and happie state Likewise whosoeuer will obteine Gods assistance by his prayers must abandon companies and withdrawe him selfe to his chamber for so God expresly commaundeth and therefore it is no meruell if hée were so well pleased with the deuout workes wrought especially in the wildernesse by the first fathers Abraham Isaac Iacob Moses Helias and Ieremie neither ought the example of our first father to way any lesser with
the vices of others Therevpon it is saide that the friends and familiers of Aristotle had learned to stammer the friends of Alexander in discoursing had got his roughnesse of spéech and dout not but in haunting the companie of the euil a man shal find by experience that a man is a woolfe to a man not a God as I said before y â— according to the prouerbe A friend of fooles wil become like vnto theÌ„ * hee which toucheth pitch shal be defiled therwith * But in like case also by the same reason on the contrary side vertue bringeth forth the like effect * And as a dead coale laied to a liuely kindleth so a naughty person meeting in coÌ„panie with the good partaketh with their conditions * Neither is a good aire a mans owne natiue soile more helpeful to the health of the body then the conuersation coÌ„panie of y e good is to diseased minds For if the ill leaue some séede of their naughtines with those that cleaue to them by the same reason the good leaue behinde of their goodnesse with those that frequent them And as from muske there commeth a swéete smel to delight the nose so froÌ„ the good there goeth a certaine goodnes towards those that are néere theÌ„ most commonly keepeth it selfe stil within them Now for that the ground of your reasons is for that in conuersation a man cannot do so good workes but that they shal be taken against the heare wrongly interpreted adding the dangers hurts damages wherto they are subiect which vse companie I graunt héere vnto you that the good order and manner of liuing is in a maner quite lost but the fault peruersnes of other should neuer make you repent your self of doing wel and let speake who list neuer take care of the censures and reprehensions w c come froÌ„ the blind communalty which as ignoraÌ„t taketh euery thing arsiuersie But you ought to folow y e allowable senteÌ„ce of y e Epicure wheÌ„ he saith I neuer coueted to please the people for y t they estéeme not y e things which I knowe for y t I knowe not the things which they estéeme coÌ„mend Besides you must coÌ„sider whether being withdrawne from company and leading a solitarie life you shall liue in securitie and be exempt from the iniuries of the wicked Nay loke not for it hardly and assure your selfe that for one yll word receiued in company you shall receiue a thousand liuing solitarily For some one will not sticke to say and perchance with some litle likelihood that you haue about you some filthy disease or that you haue committed some offence and that you flye the light like a réeremouse others wil say that you are an heretike for that you eschue the company of Christians and they will seeke to put you into the Inquisition others will call you an Alcumist or a forger of money and if all these suspicions aforesaid faile yet at least you shal bée thought either fainte hearted either stately either fantasticall either melancholike or els a bruite beast for that all these most commonly flye the company of men So that by that meane you shal finde your selfe to be fallen as the common prouerbe is Out of the frying pan into the fire or out of a feuer into the hot euil you shal be faine in the ende to return to the ordinary life being resolued to thrust your self forwarde and to liue vprightly and well in spight of those that liue yll whose naughtinesse set against your vertue and goodnesse will make it more excellent and famous and you shall reioyce more to your selfe to sée that your vertue hath woon the victorie in the combate opposition you persisting in your goodnes in the midst of their naughtinesse You must consider it deserueth no great praise nor merit to know how to be good amongst the good Mary it is somewhat worth to be good amongst the yll Also you must thinke that amongst those false consterers there wil be some vpright iudge defendour of your déedes And though all the men of the world should faile you yet the high iudgement of God wil not faile you in whom if you shall once repose your trust you may be sure he wil holde his hande ouer you and defend you against the malicious and slaunderous and in spight of them will bring the trueth to light and giue it the vpper hande As I think I haue fully answered you and therfore without any farther speech you may know that to get wisedome to come by â—he accomplishment of learning to come to dignitie riches worldly promotions Conuersation is expedient For to say that euery man should haue an eye only to his owne affaires is nothing els but to make man like to beasts And besides it is most certaine that solitarinesse putteth many euil thinges into our heades and maketh vs beléeue that which is not Neither hath it any thing in it but horror and terrour enemies to nature According whereto it is daily séene that a man being by him selfe is fearefull and being in company is couragious * Yea being alone is often tempted to commit many euils Which one Crates rightly signified who séeing a young man walke in a secrete place asked him what hée did there so alone the young man answered that he talked with him selfe I pray you saieth hée take héede you talke not with some naughtie fellow What shall I say more But that the hearbe Helleborum may be giuen as well to the solitary as to the foole And whosoeuer shall marke these reasons and specially the Etymologie of this worde Homo which in the Gréeke tongue as some learned writers thinke signifieth together shall perceiue that a man can not be a right man without Conuersation For he that vseth not company hath no experience he that hath no experience hath no iudgement hee that hath no iudgement is no better then a beast Guaz. I think the Northeast winde doeth not so driue in sunder the cloudes in the skie as you clearing altogether my minde haue nowe driuen away the mystes which dimmed it made it so wandring running for the loue it had to solitarinesse I perceiue the conclusion of your gentle discourse séemeth to be that solitarinesse ought to be taken altogether out of the world company conuersation to be chosen as wel for the health of the minde as the body And yet for all that I sée not how that may be granted vnto you for that there are some times wherin solitarinesse is not only auaileable but necessary both to the inward and outward welfare and prosperous state of life so that I thinke it méet to make some mention hereof Annib. Doe you not remember that I told you at the beginning of our talke that to make euident y e matter which hangeth doubtful betwéene vs and to resolue our selues thorowly of it we must come to
you that as trueth getteth hatred so flatterie winneth loue and bréedeth good blood in so much that hée which should take flattery out of the worlde shoulde take away al humanitie and curtesie For then we should not salute him whom we take to be our enemy wheras now we sée that he biddeth vs good morrowe with his mouth which wisheth vs much sorowe in his heart But what will you haue a man doe * We must by their example giue them mery lookes and fleer in their faces we must play the Foxe with Foxes delude art with art * And as it is a fault stifly to stand in contention w t ones friend so is it a vertue to know how to giue place yeld in giuing him the vpper hand Like as the wyly Anichin did in Boccace who suffering a Gentlewoman to mate him at chests therby made him selfe her mate at better sport * By these reasons therefore I conclude that to winne fauour happily to atchiue our purposes we must alwaies haue praysing and pleasing wordes in our mouth * and wée must count it commendable to extol both by woords signes the dooinges of others and to giue them tha◠which euerie one gapeth after Annib. You haue very wittily commended set foorth flattery but for that I am altogether differēt in opinion frō you because I will not be thought a Flatterer I wil oppose my self against the reasons which you haue alleged And first I say vnto you that men for the most part are Flatterers of themselues making themselues beléeue they are that which they are not * With which folly Princes are oft times blinded like as Domitian was who was neither afeard nor ashamed to cause him selfe to be called Lorde and God Of whom a flatterer writeth these wordes to his glorie but to his owne shame The Edict of our Lorde and God Likewise Alexander suffering this madnesse to enter into his head thought it not enough to be a man and a King and to haue the title of great but he would on Gods name be called the sonne of Iupiter neither was he wel pleased with those which did not sooth him in it Whereof his mother complained saying Hée woulde bring her into disgrace with Iuno for making her a Cucqueane But at this diuinitie a certaine Philosopher who had no skill in flattering made a scoffe who séeing his Phisition in his sicknesse prepare for the recouery of his health a certaine supping or broth sayde Our God hath put the hope of his health in a messe of broth so that those whiche loue them selues so without measure * willingly giue eare to flatterers of whom they thinke they are praysed when in trueth they are but flattered And therefore no meruayle though flatterers are so acceptable Yet notwithstanding men of discretion which knowe them selues and their desertes though naturally they are desirous of prayse yet they loue not to be flattered or praysed without cause for so much as false prayse is naught els but mockerie and therefore I thinke you not so gréedie of glorie that if in the recitall of your prayses I should intermedle any thing which were not true you would can mée any great thanke for it but would blame mée either in woordes openly or in your heart secretly Guaz. Sée howe you are wounded with your owne weapon for in commending me for one who like not to bée commended aboue my deseruing you attribute a vertue vnto me which is not in mée and shewe your selfe a flatterer and a flouter Annib. You are deceiued and it is you your selfe that haue receiued the wounde for hauing alreadie sayde that if a flatterer prayse you you will not take him for a flatterer towardes you and nowe not allowing me to attribute vnto you a vertue which you déeme your selfe to haue you are contrary to your selfe and make me appeare a true dealer and no flatterer Besides that when I say I take you to be such a one that séeketh not prayse without desert this is no commendation but rather a good opinion that I haue of you This were a commendation if I did affirme absolutely that you were suche a one as woulde giue no eare to flatterers Wherefore my woordes hauing no signification of prayse they can not receiue any interpretation or suspition of flatterie Nowe following our purpose I say againe That a wise man doeth neuer agrée to the false prayses of flatterers who resemble altogether the Fishe Polypus for as that Fishe chaungeth colour according to the obiect that it incountreth so they alter their opinions according to the appetie of the hearers and they are termed by an auncient Authour enemylike friendes for vnder their pleasaunt sugred woordes they kéepe hidden a bitter venomous meaning * in like manner as the hooke is hidden vnder the bayte or the Serpent amongest the flowers Neither are they vnlike the Butcher who claweth the Hogge with his hande to the intent to come conueniently to laye his Béetle vppon his pate Neither is it to bée saide that flatterie woorketh any good for that a man commended without cause indeuoureth to deserue it for a cunning flatterer setteth the garmentes so artificially vppon the backe of him whom hée disguiseth withall that the seames shall not bée séene and betaketh him selfe in suche sorte to thinges like to bée true that hée maketh them taken for true in déede And albeit some famous writers haue intreated of the meanes to discerne a friend from a flatterer yet is it in my opinion verie harde that I may not say impossible to attaine to that knowledge as well for that the worlde is full of these tame beastes as also for that it is harde to discerne the euill which resembleth the good And therefore it was well sayde of a wise man That as the Woolfe is like to the Dogge so is the flatterer to the friend and that wée must take héede to mistake least thinking to set our selues in the kéeping of Dogges wée fall into the deuouring of Wolues But be it so that you féele the smell of false praise yet notwithstanding you shall not féele in your selfe that remorse and desire of deserte which you speake of for this false prayse hath a showe of trueth and is bestowed vpon you as due and deserued I come nowe to the example of parentes who as you say flatter their children to incourage them to vertue and of children who on the other side flatter their parentes to wring some thing from them and I say vnto you That these twoo cases differ The first is not in trueth flatterie for that there is no deceit in it Guaz. Doe you not deceiue a childe when he hath lept but a litle way and you tell him hée hath leapt excellently wel Annib. It is a good kinde of deceit which tendeth to a good ende and which is profitable to the partie deceiued as wée Phisitions deceiue sometime our Patients in giuing them the iuyce of Pomegranates in stéede
conformitie together that hardly one can bée knowne from the other I woulde gladly haue you instruct mée howe I ought to behaue my selfe not to bée reputed a flatterer Annib. You must obserue therein two things the one neuer to praise a man in his presence a fault that fewe can take héede of not remēbring the saying of the Gréeke Poet Hee which speaketh ill of mee behinde my backe doeth mee no wrong hee which speaketh well of me before my face reprocheth mee But for that there are some whiche will thinke you eyther proude or enuious if you praise them not the other thing to bée obserued you must take with them another course which is to imitate the dogge of Aegypt which drinketh at the riuer of Nyle and then runneth his way so you must séeme to acknowledge their deserts that you wil not vtter their praises in their presence for feare to bee thought to flatter them leauing neuerthelesse this little Suger in their mouth Guaz. Haue you any other persons of the ranke of the tollerable which are neither to bée desired nor auoyded Annib. I haue saide vnto you alredy that to the vice of flatterie gainesaying is opposed and therefore I thinke good wée speake of these contentious fellowes whiche obstinately withstand the opinions of other and wil neuer leaue till they haue the last woorde not waying the dislyking or displeasure of others Guaz. Albeit I cannot abide the qualities and company of such manner of men yet I remember I haue hearde a vertuous and noble Gentleman to make good account of them saying That those are indued with excellent wittes which can maintayne their priuate opinions against the common opinion of all and that wée hearken vnto them with more attention and admiration And in good sooth if you shoulde with a long discourse prooue vnto mée that the Sunne is cléere and hot you woulde make mée haue no great lyst to listen vnto you for that you shoulde tell mée nothing but that which I knowe before but if you will make good that it is obscure and colde O howe you woulde stirre vp my spirites and make mée attentiue to heare you It was therefore that a certaine Philosopher hearing that there was one preparing himselfe to make a speache in the praise of Hercules answered Why who discommendeth him Beholde on the contrarie with howe great pleasure and admiration wée reade the Paradoxes of diuers wittie and learned writers specially the pleasant pamphlets made in praise of the plague and of the French poxe And if you replie that this belongeth rather to a fantasticall Poet then to a graue authour I woulde haue you consider in what estimation the Philosopher Fauorine is onely for the fame hee hath woone for extolling with many and singuler praises the quarterne Ague which notwithstanding the Frenchmen wishe to their enimies as the greatest euill which may befall them And therfore I am of opinion that in things of most difficultie consisteth most excellencie and admiration And I sée you Philosophers dispute and argue one against another and holde singuler opinions farre from the trueth so that the Gentleman of whom I spake euen now would place these men rather amongst the desirable then the tollerable Annib. I thinke good that whom you haue nowe named should bée put in the rowe of the desirable and commendable which deserue not the name of contentious for though they swarue from the trueth yet they haue some shew of reason in their talke and besides they do not thinke what they say doing it to no other ende but to shewe their sharpe and good wit not that they haue conceiued any such opinion in themselues so that it were great folly to thinke that Fauorine was desirous to haue the quarterne Ague and those other writers the Plague But those whom I call contentious and ouerthwarters are for the most parte grosse headed fellowes and it is an olde saying that the vice of contradiction is proper to men of small discretion who oppugne the trueth either of ignorance or of obstinacie and they are like to Heretikes who being conuicted by inuincible reasons yet will yéelde nothing at all but reply still to the contrarie Moreouer these contentious companions loue to bée doeing with euerie one and yet still goe by the worse and when they are able to mainteine Argument no longer by any reason they enter into a chafe and séeke to get the vpper hande by outcries swearing threatning and arrogant demeanour And some time it happeneth that they méete with men of like nature whereby euen for very trifles they fall to dyre debate and strife Touching that you alledge afterwardes of Philosophers I answers you that it is not only laweful and méete for them to dispute but also for all other men when they enter into reasoning amongest themselues and are of contrary opinions and he deserueth greatest praise which defendeth the hardest part and though they disagrée in wordes yet they disagrée not in loue and mutuall goodwill but séeke with one accord the trueth not vnlyke to those which make Cordes who though they winde and twist one contrarie to the other yet they thereby accomplishe the worke they take in hande But yet disputations haue their boundes and limites prescribed which it is not lawful to passe without loosing the name of a Disputer getting the title of contentious caueling Sophisters who many times thereby come to mischiefe and by being too earnest in contrarying haue béen distraught of their right vnderstanding And as things by making them too thinne and fine are soone broken so by too much contention the trueth is made intricate and doubtfull And therefore those are to bée called contencious who not of purpose to dispute or exercise their wit but of a contemptuous arrogancie hold argumentes not only repugnant to the trueth but altogether dissonant from reason Guaz. What doe you take to bée the occasion of this fault Annib. Marry a mother with her two children to wit ignorance with selfe loue and vaine perswasion whereof it commeth that those which knowe nothing thinke they know all thinges and holde their ignorance for wisedome Guaz. In déede the first Chapter of fooles is to estéeme themselues wise Annib. You knowe it is the easiest thing in the worlde for a man to deceiue himselfe but the wise man admonisheth vs not to bée wise in our owne conceite for that such wisedome is called diuelish and verily hée which knoweth most taketh vpon him least and yéeldeth to reason And therefore no maruell though the ignoraunt people bee full of contention Wee will then conclude that to reason without reason is to take paines to make himselfe euyll thought of and that these caueling quarellous merchantes are greatly to be blamed notwithstanding we must be faine to beare with them Guaz. As you haue shewed the way howe wée may defend our selues against slaunderers flatterers so I wold haue you shew your mind how wée should behaue ourselues with
inferiour to mée as I knowe you to bée greater you shoulde commit a greater fault then I to attribute so much to your selfe For considering that I come nothing néere to that which you thinke to bée in mée you shall offende in arrogancie and vaine-glorie Guaz. But in my minde making your selfe meaner then you are you offend in a certaine abiectnesse of minde or in a kinde of dissembling rather courtlike then Philosopher like I thinke you will not commende those who hauing much vnderstanding stande little or nothing vppon it or beeing knowen for woorthie men séeke to imbase themselues * by bearing false witnesse against themselues * Annib. Truely I cannot but blame them for to disprayse ones selfe too much sheweth either some secret ambition or some manifest basenesse of minde And I count no lesse woorthie reprehension those who on the contrarie exalting themselues too much touch as they say the firmament with their finger But I am sure that in speaking at this present of my selfe I haue measured my forces neither haue I swarued one iote from the trueth Guazzo Séeing wée are fallen vppon this matter tell mée I pray you if you haue any sure remedie whereby a man may gouerne and keepe himselfe in the midway so that hée suffer not himselfe to be hoysed vp into the ayre like a ball full of winde neither to fall deadly to the ground as a body without breath Annib. To finde then the skill of Dedalus and to kéepe the mid way you must search out the cause of the faulty extréemes and that being once knowen you shall soone haue the remedie you require Those faults then growe for the most part of solitarinesse and for want of experience in the affaires of the world Which causeth that into a base mind there entreth the distrust of his owne doings and the feare of other mens iudgement Contrariwise that in a noble minde there groweth an ouer greate presumption which transporteth him with an ouerwéening of himselfe and a course account of others And therefore if these manner of men frequented the companie of those who are wise and learned there is no doubt but that the doings of other men woulde serue to the one of them for a spurre and to the other for a bridle Guaz. There are some doubtles woorthy great blame and mockery who suffer those good parts which bee in them to bée drowned in their cold and timorous hearts in like sort as stones are in the water And I coulde name certaine eloquent personages who hauing to speake in the presence of many become quite dumbe Some others I haue knowen in like case ready to fall into a sowne Whereby I iudge them meruaylous vnfortunate that cannot helpe themselues with those qualities they are indued withall at such tyme as they stande in most néed of them and better it were in a manner to be altogether without them Annib. It cannot be denied but that those men are infortunate but let vs nowe consider the arrogancie of those who being full of presumption and blinded with the loue of themselues sée not their owne imperfections and neuer care to knowe what opinion the worlde hath of them Which is a signe not onely of presumpteous arrogancy but also of sencelesse brutishnesse whereof insue many inconueniences for so much as according to the saying of a wise fellowe Great euill is caused by that ignorance which seemeth to it selfe sapience Guaz. It is a smal fault in my fancie to desire to be taken to be wise but the worst is that we wil make our selues also beléeue that wée are so Annib. Therefore it is sayde that it is the easiest thing of all other for one to deceiue himselfe and I remember I haue read in the life of Esope that a great personage passing thorowe a stréete where were thrée slaues to bée solde the one a Gramarian the other a Musitian and the thirde Esope first hée asked the Gramarian what hée coulde doe who answered all things then hée asked the Musitian the like question who answered as the other did but comming to Esope hée asked him what hée coulde doe who answered nothing at all Howe happeneth that sayeth the Gentleman marie sayth Esope these twoo héere being able to doe all things haue left nothing for mée to doe Whereby wée may see that those who will not presume to bée able to doe any thing knowe howe to doe most things and those who take vppon them to knowe all things are those which commonly knowe nothing at all For so muche then as wée knowe that for want of knowing and beeing experienced by meanes of conuersation in the natures manners and dooings of others wée offende eyther by arrogancie or by distrust you may consequentlie perceiue that the remedie which you séeke to flye those extréemes and to followe the meane is ciuile conuersation and that chiefly which is practised out of the house haunting many and diuers persons whereof wée haue to speake this day Guaz. I woulde haue thought by those matters wee spoke of but nowe that you had béen farre of from those wée are to intreate to day but I sée you haue brought mée thyther before I thought of it whereat I meruayle the more and I am gladder of it But before you beginne this discourse I woulde knowe whether your meaning bée to propose one fourme and manner of conuersation whiche all indifferently shoulde vse or at the least to assigne diuers sortes according to the diuersitie of persons Annib. As farre as I remember I tolde you yesterday and nowe I tell you againe that I meane to prescribe particularly to euery one For if in conuersation all of vs shoulde behaue our selues in one sorte towardes all wée shoulde soone come to the chiefe point of our purpose It is very true there are some generall thinges which euery one ought to obserue towardes euery one indifferently whereof also wée will vse some spéech but my desire is chiefly that wee come to consider the diuers meanes which wee ought to vse in vsing companie according to the diuersitie of persons Whereby wée shall knowe that it is not so easie to finde one manner of entertainement common to all men as it is to finde a fashion for a Sadle to fit any Horse And thereby wée shal perceiue that as a man of good iudgement such as your selfe writeth not in one selfe manner and wordes to his betters equals and inferiours so wée in our conuersation ought to procéed with the same iudgement to put difference betwene causes and parties which are not equall Guaz. If then ciuile conuersation ought to varie according to the varietie of the persons I doubt mee least the rules which you shall set downe wil be long and hard for that we are driuen by diuerse accidentes to haue to deale with diuerse persons differing in sexe in age in degrée in conditions in country and in nation Annib. You sée in organes diuerse pipes whereof euery one giueth a diuerse sowne
according to the prouerbe The méeke Lambe sucketh the teates of his owne damme and of others also Guaz. I remember I haue read a sentence not muche different from that to wit that hée which speaketh gentelly to his neighbour receiueth of him a gentle answere and out of the breastes where hée searched milke bringeth out butter Annib. * Assure your selfe it is euen so But to be sure to reape this commoditie it is requisite that this gentle spéeche come from the heart and that it bée not intermingled with some fonde iesture and behauiour whiche may make it smell of flatterie and in stéede of loue purchase hate Like as some doe who by their continuall girning and shewing of their téethe make men doubt whether they honour them or laugh at them Guaz. It is a common saying that to smile vpon euerie man is rather a signe of a vayne minde then of a chéerefull countenance Annib. Nowe I will ioyne for a sister and companion to affabilitie an other vertue verie necessarie in Conuersation and it is that whiche not only with gentle woordes but with a certaine wittie and readie pleasantnesse delighteth wonderfully the hearers And as that is a signe of curtesie so this is a token of wit and is vsed no lesse in iesting merily with others then in taking iest patiently of others There are diuers sortes of this pleasauntnesse wherevppon both the Philosophers and Rhetoritians séeing howe auaileable it is to refreshe mindes ouercharged with melancholy and pensiue thoughtes howe acceptable in companie and howe conducible to health haue at large taught vs diuers wayes howe to attaine vnto it Guaz. I beléeue well that arte and studie may helpe something in it but in my iudgement it is nature that must woorke chiefely Whiche to bée true appeareth by many men of great wisedome and learning who in a pleasaunt matter haue no grace at all and contrariwise many ignorant men euen of the common sorte will handle a pleasaunt matter so finely that they will make Heraclitus him selfe laugh at it Annib. I graunt vnto you that according to the diuersitie of natures the actions of men are diuers and that it is harde for one to mooue delight in others without a certaine naturall liuelinesse of spirite But it is seldome séene that a man pleasauntly conceited is not also sharpely witted Which Gonella noteth saying That to playe the foole well it behooueth a man first to be wise But notwithstanding I am of opinion that a man solemne by nature may by vse get the habite of pleasauntnesse and I am sure you will not denie mée but that there are some in countenaunce and iesture verie graue and seuere who in companie are pleasaunt and merie beyonde all measure But it is better for a man not to alter his owne nature from grauitie then to vse mirth immodestlye For as the meane is commendable so the extreames are detestable and growe either to scurrilitie in vsing too licentious scoffing or els to inciuilitie in refusing all merie iesting * Guaz. Nowe for so muche as you haue shewen howe pleasauntnesse in companie delighteth and howe gentlenesse in spéeche maketh vs appeare what wée are and discouereth the affections of our friendly heartes whereby wée winne the good will of others I woulde gladly knowe of you if there bée any other way besides whiche will worke such laudable effectes Annib. Albeit by affabilitie onlye there is imprinted in mens heartes a good opinion of vs euen lyke as is in the waxe by the Seale or Signet yet wée must put too somewhat els whereby that print and impression may bee made to continue whereto is verie â—it and auayleable the vertue called modestie or rather that which we commonly call discretion Guaz. And wherein is that vertue to be vsed Annib. In euerie thing but chiefely in finding fault with others mens faultes And therefore it is to bee presupposed that GOD hath made man a companable creature that by meanes of Conuersation hée may both assist others and bée assisted him selfe as néede shall require Wherfore séeing no man on earth is indued with absolute perfection wee must not mocke at other mens imperfections least others likewise laugh at ours Guaz. You say verie true but doe you not knowe that as the Prouerbe is wée sée better a farre of then hard by vs and that at home wée sée no more then Moles but abroade as muche as Argus * and that we can spie a moate in anothers eye and not a beame in our own * But wherof thinke you this fault procéedeth Annib. Perchaunce of selfeloue which suffereth not a man to sée his imperfections Guaz. But mée thinkes suche a one séemeth to loue others better then him selfe for that hee leaueth to correct his owne faultes to amende other mens Annib. Hee shoulde in verie déede loue others better then him selfe if hee were mooued to séeke the amendment of other mens manners vppon charitie and loue but it is knowne too well that hée is stirred to it of a certaine presumption and desire to séeme more wise then others wherevppon I thinke the verie occasion why wée are so busie to finde faultes in others is that contrarie to the foresaide saying of Socrates wée take more pleasure to séeme then to bée and wée thinke we shewe not such wit in amending our owne faultes as in reprehending other mens But all those which will be such as they desire to séeme will be seuere reformers of them selues and they wil sooner spye their owne faultes then others Guaz. I woulde gladly haue you shewe particulerly which are the faultes of others wherein this discretion is to be vsed Annib. There are two sortes of faults the one of those which are not full ripe the other of those whiche are thorowe rotten I call the vnrype ones those whiche one is readie to commit and the rype ones those whiche are alreadie committed Wée must staye the committing of the first so muche as wée may for the other some are to bée excused some to bee blamed If then wée perceiue any in reasoning to bee driuen into so narowe a straite that hée can not easily get out of it without committing some absurditie either in wordes or in matter it shall bée our parte discréetely to preuent him And as one that stumbling at a stone is readie to fall downe readily to take holde of him and staye him vp not staying till hee fall to make the companie fall a laughing and him selfe to bée ashamed In dooing whereof wée assure him which speaketh of the good account wée make of him and giue him to vnderstande howe iealous wée are of his honour in suche sort that wée make him thereby verie friendly affectioned towardes vs whereas on the contrarie there is nothing that setteth him sooner in a rage and maketh him to alienate his good will from vs then to thinke him selfe had in contempt and to be flouted at Guaz. This contempt in my opinion is intollerable for that there is
haue letten their Portis fall out of their handes at the sight of women Annib. If I bée not of the order of that Philosopher neither am I of the disorder and lightnesse of those who are in loue with euery one they looke on and haue so litle hold of them selues that they will bee lost in the lookes of a woman and are no more to bée séene in them selues Yea their folly is so great that if a woman shewe but a merry countenance make some signe by chaunce or vse any other iesture they apply it all to themselues as done in their fauour and filled with a thousande vaine pleasures and oftentimes make court to suche a one whose minde is farre of both from them and their purpose Guaz. And this is also a fault of women who are commonly saide to be like death for that they followe those who flie them and flie those which séeke them Annib. Honest women flie in déede those which follow them dishonestly Yea and the vnhonest flie too though they suffer themselues soone to be ouertaken But you shall neuer finde woman so shamelesse but that shée thinketh it a fault to followe others and will be first sued to her selfe So that y e fault is not as you say in the woman but in the man But you seeme to be a verie rebell against women Guaz. I am no rebell vnto them for that I neuer promised or swore faith or fealtie vnto them But howe can a man loue them that are called women of the woe and hurt they bring to men Anniball And why not of the woe and hurt they driue from men which is confirmed by God him selfe who saith he made them for a helpe and comfort to man Guaz. What to helpe to consume a man as the Poet saide Lesbia doeth sucke the purse and bodie drie to buy loue so deere is most extreeme follie Annib. That is not the Conuersation that wée are to speake of and it séemed verie straunge to mée that you béeing a Courtier shoulde professe your selfe suche an enemy to women Guaz. Pardon mée I pray you I mistooke you then for so soone as you began to speake of the Conuersation of women I thought you had ment of those with whom men trie their manhood withall in amorous incounters For I thinke that those which make profession of the life ought to learne the meanes howe to trafike together in suche sort that they may liue long time together in loue and liking And touching women of honestie and reputation you know well that it is my part not only to reuerence them but to maintaine and defende their honour and good name both with word and with sword Yea though dutie did not constraine me to do it yet affection should cary me to it hauing béen alwayes most desirous of their fauour Annib. We can not sauing our honour speake of the Conuersation which you meane and in my fancy it is our partes rather to ouerthrow it then to build it vp as a thing vnworthy of the ciuil Conuersation And to the ende you remaine no longer in suspence I woulde haue you with mée thinke this that the nature of man is inclined to nothing more then to y e loue of womeÌ„ But that we may not be deceiued we must know that there is one Venus in heauen and another in earth the latter is the mother of wanton loue the other of honest affection Wanton loue is nothing els but a passion which blindeth the vnderstanding peruerteth the minde confoundeth the memory wasteth the goods weakeneth the body withereth youth killeth age which is the bréeder of vices an inhabiter in idle and empty heads which is a thing without reason without order without any stay a fault proper to fooles and which is the abridger of mans libertie Guaz. It appeareth you are well acquainted with our Boccace séeing you remember so well his sayings wheretoo may be added that of the Poet I see the thing I doe the trueth which to my cost I know no whit doth me deceiue yet loue so rules the rost that who so foloweth it no vertue folow shall for vnto lewdnesse to vice it doeth him daily call Annib. For conclusion so soone as this loue hath taken roote in the heart in the same instant are lost goods honestie renoume vertue yea body â—oule And therfore al those who are folowers of this foÌ„d brutish loue are to be admitted only into the company of incontinent and naughtie women For they are not worthie the presence and entertainment of the honest vertuous Next foloweth the heauenly loue which being inamoured with the beauties of the minde is the cause of much good and of many commendable effectes For it maketh men affable discréete curteous painfull pacient valiant and as a braue writer hath alredie saide It taketh from men all rude and clownishe behauiour it maketh them familiar in companye pleasaunte at the Table amiable euerye waye It is the chiefe bringer in of mercy and banisher of crueltie it bréedeth friendship and driueth away hatred it is it whiche maketh a man friendly liberall desirous to doe well and loth to doe yll it is a wise guide in our trauayles in our desires and in our woordes to conclude it is the most perfect ornament of mans life And truely if you marke the order of feastes playes and merie méetinges of friendes you will say that all those assemblyes are colde and nothing delightfull if there bée no women at them For as men in their presence plucke vp their spirites and indeuour by woordes iestures and all other wayes to giue them to vnderstande howe desirous they are of their fauour and good will so you ought to thinke the obiect béeing out of their eyes they will become carelesse mannerlesse and lesse readie to commendable enterprises To bée shorte women are they whiche kéepe men waking and in continuall exercise yea I thinke there is no man so lazy and drouzy but that he will open his eyes when hee heareth talke of women And so soone as hée spyeth comming a farre of her whom hée hath placed most néere to his heart I warrant you he setteth his ruffes hée turneth his Cappe and feather the right way hée pulleth vp his cloake about his shoulders hée standeth a tiptoe hée sheweth a ioyfull and smyling countenaunce and hée séemeth to be become a newe man that hée may bee more acceptable to the sight of his mistresse in whose presence hée chaungeth colour and looketh pale by reason that his heart abandoneth his bodie to followe her béeing drawne as it were by it owne image Guaz. Women doe the verie same who I warrant you woulde not be so fine so trimmed and tricked vp so amiable euery way but of a desire to please men Annib. You sée then that this loue is no lesse mutuall then honest Guaz. Yea but if this loue were so honest as you make it you shoulde not sée men shewe them selues more affectionate
to the fayre then to the foule to the yong then to the olde But you see fewe take pleasure either in ouerworne antiquities or vnséemely deformities By reason wherof it is easie to be knowne that they are in loue rather with the bodie then the minde and that their loue is earthly and fleshly which you haue alreadie banished out of good companie Annib. Women did the like for al the world towards men For I knowe some of them whiche are very angrie in their mindes when their chaunce is to be led in a daunce either by a childe or an old man whereas on the contrarie they are very glad when they haue gotten a young man by the hand Guaz. In my opinion they haue great reason in it for that as a wise man saieth pleasures and fauours are not to bee done either to a childe or to an olde man For the one forgetteth them the other dyeth before he haue occasion to requite them Annib. That is not the occasion which moueth them to doe so And to auoide al confusion wée must consider that loue is a desire of beautie and that beautie is of thrée sortes to wit of the minde of the body and of the spéech The first is discerned by the vnderstanding the second by the eyes the third by the eares And therfore it is saide that the thrée graces represent those thrée partes So long then as loue is guided only by the eyes the eares and the minde it is without question honest wise louers ought to content themselues only with the fruition of those fruites without thinking or séeking any farther And contrariwise it cannot bee counted honest or deserue the name of loue but of lust folly when they are moued to it by any other of their senses Nowe wée are heere to consider that naturally our mindes are most drawen thither where beautie doth most abound therfore no meruaile if men for the most parte addresse themselues more willingly towards the faire yong then the foule and olde for that in the faire and young commonly those thrée sortes of beautie concur of the minde of the body and of the spéech Whereas in the foule and the olde the beauty of the body is wanting which in the foule fayleth by nature and in the old by length of tyme. The same reason may serue to shewe why women in banquets and dauncing make more account of young men then of children or olde men for that in children there is no other beautie to bee séene but that of the body for the two other are wanting I meane of the spéeche whiche consisteth in pleasant deuise and fine filed talke and of the minde whiche is shewed in discréete behauiour and vertuous déedes which cannot be ripe and perfect in them In old men is to be found only the beauty of the mind and of the spéeche for that they haue not that of the body which is worne away with time But all the thrée beauties méete together for the most part in yong men And though this inclination bee common to men and women yet you sée some men fall in loue sooner with an olde woman then with a yong and with a foule then with a faire which happeneth likewise to some women whiche beare feruent affection to some men who are altogether beréeued of the beautie of the body and in a manner deformed but happily indued with vertue pleasantly conceited and valiantly giuen A man can not terme this folly or lacke of iudgement For it must bée saide that a woman casting her fancy to a man of vnséemely personage doth naturally make smal account of that outwarde beautie and is induced to loue him in respect of the other beauties of spéech and of the mind and that a man doeth the like towardes a woman Neither ought wée to thinke it straunge that some louers the older they waxe the more feruently they loue one another but we ought to iudge their loue the more perfect For touching y e woman y e more she groweth in yeres the more ripenesse the beauty of her mind groweth to the older the man waxeth the better he is able to discerne the beauties of his mistresse whereby his loue the more increaseth But for that my chiefe purpose is not to discourse of loue but of the conuersation with women it shall suffice vs to knowe that there is no man in the worlde so blockishe or suche a Cimon who béeing in loue calleth not his wittes about him and waxeth not more wise who by honest loue and the curteous and pleasaunt company of women feeleth not himselfe inflamed with vertuous and heauenly thoughtes and who besides other laudable studies is not thereby stirred vp to Poetry And thereof it commeth that Apollo vaunting him selfe to haue béen the cause of the worke of a certaine Poet fraught full of amorous deuises Venus withstoode the matter saying That that Poet had remained mute if her sonne had not hit him with his golden shaft Nowe touching the Conuersation with women all men ought to knowe this that they ought to doe them all the honour and reuerence possible and that Romulus made a lawe whereby hée ordeined that in assemblies men shoulde alwayes set women aboue them And though euerie man for the most part addresseth his seruice to some one aboue the rest and maketh her the starre by whose aspect hée doeth direct all his doings yet wee must not cease to shewe duetie and reuerence to all and to shewe our selues both in déedes and woordes desirous of their good wil and fauour taking héede howe we say or doe any thing at any time to their shame and reproch For there is nothing that doeth more dishonour and defame a man then that whereby hée not only looseth his reputation but also being in the disfauour of women is depriued of that contentation whiche otherwise hée shoulde receiue in their company Wherefore it is best for a man alwayes to imploye his tongue to their prayse neuer discommending them either openly or secretly either vppon spight or in a rage or vppon what occasion soeuer Guaz. I thinke nothing in the worlde more difficult then to take from women an euil opinion whiche they haue once conceiued against a man Annib. You know they are easie to admit an accusation against a man but hard to remit his offence And as nothing maketh them stomake vs more then to dispraise them so there is nothing maketh them fancie vs more then to cōmende them And for that cause I haue knowen many women whiche bore more fauour to the professours of learning and Poetrie then to any other Furthermore he that frequenteth the companie of women must not enter into strife and contention with them or séeke too get the better in reasoning with them For by suche ouerthwart and obstinate dealing there is nothing gotten at their handes but yl wil. Therefore it is euer better rather to sooth them then thwart them in their sayinges But I
sight perfecte and knoweth the directe way they must take but suche wiues neede not make boast of their sufficiencye for at this day the race of the Spartane women is worne out and therefore it is best for them to be content to let their husbandes weare the breeches Guaz. A man may well giue women this good counsayle but there be fewe of them that will be so good as followe it and which seeke not still for soueraigntye ouer their Husbandes Annib. It is a thing reasonable and agreeable to nature that the stronger should commaund ouer the weaker * Yet some women haue the right art to order thinges so wel that the husbandes should be thought to doe amisse if they should dispose them otherwise Whervpon Cato was wont to say to the Romaines We commaund ouer all the worlde and our wiues commaund ouer vs Neither is there any doubt but that many Rulers ouer Cities and countreys are ouer ruled by their wiues but as those women knowe howe in time and place to bee obedience to their husbands * so there are some such restife iades that they will not at any time be commaunded and by their importunities exclamations scolding and brawling continually withstande their husbands willes and make a mock at them playing with them a thousand shrowed prankes which caused a certayne King to say that they were very fooles that would followe their wife running away from them Guaz. You put mee in mynde of that husbande who his wife hauing drowned her self in a Riuer went crying along the riuer side seeking her agaynste the streame and being told that there was no question but that she was gone downward with the streame Alas sayth he I cannot think it for as in her life tyme she vsed to doe euery thing agaynste the hayre so now in her death she is surely mounted against the streame Annib. Wee will saye then that the wife as the weaker vessell must obay the husbande And as men oughte to obserue and keepe the lawes and statutes of the countrey so women ought to fulfill the commaundementes of their husbandes by doing whereof they become the mistresses of the house I could here alleadge diuers vertuous women who cloathing themselues with humilitie haue caused their husbandes to cast of pride crueltie and other notable vices whereof some confesse they haue pardoned their enimies and drawne back their handes from doing vengeaunce some to haue vndone vnlawfull bargaynes some to haue lefte swearing and other vanities and giuen themselues to deuotion and the health of their soules being perswaded and brought thereto by the earnest and honest prayers and by the good example and humble Christyan lyfe of their wiues Guaz. Now you haue spoken of the first disaduauntage of the wife goe I pray you to the seconde Annib. The seconde is that albeit shee see her Husbande shrinke vnder his burthen and fayle in loue and loyaltie whiche he oweth her yet she muste not doe as hee doeth but supplye vertuouslye his defaulte shewing to the worlde that for her parte shee consenteth not that this common honoure shoulde be violated but making account rather that it is her part to beare all the crosse her selfe which doing shee shall haue double rewarde of God and double prayse of the worlde Whereby you maye gather that this honoure is more committed to the diligence and fidelitye of the wife then of the Husbande And though the Husbande offende God as muche as the Wife in vyolating the sacred bande of Matrimony yet the wife ought fyrmelye to print this in her harte and to remember alwayes that where the husband by this fault doth according to the opinion of men but a little blemish his honour the wife altogeather looseth her good name and remaineth spotted with such infamye that shee can neuer recouer her honoure agayne neyther by any repentaunce nor by amendmente of her life let then a wise woman stop her eares agaynst the inchauntmentes of those which lie in wayte for her chastitie and open her eyes to beholde this sentence that A woman hauing lost the name of honest wife No more a woman counted is nor to remaine in life And to keepe more safely her honestye both in deede and in name let her auoyd so much as she may the company of women that haue an ill name who indeuour by their naughty fashions and dishonest speeches to bring others to doe as they doe and wish with all their hartes that all women were like themselues but the wife must knowe that to fulfill the lawe which shee is bounde to it is not sufficiente to bee honest and innocent in deede if shee doe not likewise auoyde all suspicion of dishonesty And if shee looke well into the matter she shall finde small difference in respecte of the worlde betweene beeing naughte and beeing thoughte naughte Wherefore a discreete woman will flie all lightnesse and vanitie and keepe herselfe as it were oute of the fyre from giuing eyther her husband or any other the least suspition in the Worlde knowing that a woman of suspected chastitye liueth in this world but in a miserable case And when shee heareth other women ill spoken of lette her thinke in her mynde what maye bee sayde of her imagining with her selfe that when a woman is once in an ill name whether it be deseruedlye or without cause shee hath much adoe to recouer agayne her honoure shee muste not beare her selfe so boldly vppon her honest meaning to thinke that God will alwayes holde his hand ouer her head for hee often tymes suffereth a woman to bee reprooued wrongfully for a punishmente of her lightnesse and vanitye by meanes whereof shee hath giuen occasyon of scandale and offence Guaz. I graunte you well there are women who perceiuing themselues loued of their husbandes and hauing a specyall care of their honoure keepe themselues honest but I woulde haue you name mee but one onelye woman for a myracle who with all her honest meaning sheweth not to the Worlde some signe of lightnesse and vanitye and who is not well apayde to be courted and to be taken for bewtifull who taketh not a greate brauerye and felicitie in keeping their amorous suters long time in suspence betweene yea and naye and whiche thinketh not also by these meanes to increase her reputation Annib. It is as common a matter for women to shewe themselues vaine and lighte as for Peacockes to spreade their tayles wherefore we must not maruaile at that which is sayde by one When we shall haue once taken all vanitye from a woman a man shall be able to take nothing else from her But wherefore thinke you women are so glad to bee courted and sued vnto meaning not to yeelde but to stand to their honesty Guaz. I thinke that as I am not content to know my self to be an honest man but I would haue the world to know it and trie it to be so so women mooued by the same ambition loue to be courted and
Methridates who for her husbands sake causing her head to be polled and framing her selfe to ride and weare armure like a maÌ„ accompanied him valiantly faithfully patieÌ„tly in al his troubles perils which gaue Methridates wonderfull coÌ„fort in his aduersitie gaue the world to vnderstand that there is nothing so troublesome greeuous but that the two hearts of the husband and the wife lincked togither are abâ—e to support it And therefore when the husbandes are afflicted with any infirmity either of mind or body let the wiues bee ready both in word and deed to comfort and to attend them whereby they shall see their loue and affection will growe more feruent and faithfull For conclusion the husband and the wyfe muste count all thinges common betweene them hauing nothing of their owne in particulâ—r no not so much as the body it selfe and laying aside pryde they must cheerefully set their handes to chose thinges that are to be done about y e house beloÌ„ging to their calling to striue in well doing one to ouercome another whereof will growe such conteÌ„ted quietnesse as will happily prolong their liues to old age and by the bond of loue concorde they shal giue their children an example to liue in vnitie one with an other and their seruauntes to agree together in the dispatche of their businesse and discharge of their duties Guaz. For so much as you haue made mention of children I should like well y t from henceforth according to our determination you come to speake of the conuersation betweene y e parents the children for I think it a matter very expedieÌ„t to set down y e orders which they ought to obserue in conuersing togither for y e euen amongst theÌ„ there is not for y e most part found that good agreemeÌ„t and y e discrete dealing which ought to be that the world is now come to this passe y t the child is no sooner come to any vnderstanding but that he beginneth to cast in his head of his fathers death as a little childe riding behind his father sayde simply vnto him Father when you are dead I shal ride in the Saddle yea there are many great knauish children which wish and worke the death of their fathers whereof I know not well to whom to impute the fault either to the fathers which keepe not their children in such awe neyther bring them vp in such sorte as they ought to do or to the children who know not how much they are beholding to their fathers Annib. And which of theÌ„ in the end rather conclude you to be in the fault Guaz. Marye the Childe who can not bring an action agaynst his father though he do him neuer so great wrong Annib. Why sayd you not but now that the child often times knoweth not his duty to his father Guaz. Yes mary did I. Annib. To whom wil you giue the charge to make the child know and vnderstand that duty Guaz. To the Father Annib. Then reuoke your first sentence and conclude that the fault is in the father who ought to haue infourmed him in his duty Guaz. If the father giue his sonne good lessons he will not hearken vnto them what can he doe more if the Father offereth instructions with the right hand the childe receiueth them with the left hand what fault is the Father in Annib. If the father in time teach him to vse his right haÌ„d he will neuer grow to be left handed but it is no marueile if hauing suffered him to vse that ill custome a long tyme he cannot afterwardes take it from him And therefore hee ought to accuse his owne negligence for that he hath deferred till euening to giue him â—hose instructions whiche hee should haue giuen him earlye in the morning at the Sunne rysing euen together as it were with the milke of y e Nurse not considering that in tender mindes as it were in waxe a man may make what impression he lift Guaz. I know not how you can excuse the children who after the father hath nourished and brought them vp carefully vnder the charge of learned men and instructed them in the faith of Christ in the end run astray and liuing lewdlye bring foorth fruite vnworthy their good bringing vp Annib. That happeneth very sieldome though it do happen yet for al y t the fathers are not discharged of the care ouer them which God himselfe hath inioyned them to Guaz. I marueile not so much y t a child vertuously brought vp sometime falleth out naught or if therevpon afterwardes ariseth discord betwene his father him for y e vnlikenesse of manners may be the cause of it but I count it strange as it were agaynst nature y t both y e father y e sonne being both honest men and for their good dealing wel spoken of by all men it shal often fall out that they cannot agree together in the house but liue in continuall strife and dissention and agreeing well in publike affayres still disagree about househould matters whereof I could bring you many examples Annib. You sayd but erewhile that the child ought not to commence an action agaynst the father if you will stand to that sentence you must needes confesse that the sonne how honest soeuer he be doth not honestly when he withstandeth his father and conformeth not himselfe to his pleasure Guaz. I auow and make good that the sonne ought to suffer the father to commaunde ouer him and that hee ought to obay him without any resistaunce but that their conuersation may frame the better I thinke it necessarye to appointe to the father how he ought to proceed in his fatherly iurisdiction y t he exceede not y e bonds of reason and giue not his sonne cause if not to oppose himselfe against his pleasure yet to find fault w t him in his hart to think himself ill delt withal by him by means wherof he waxeth cold faint in y e loue reuerence which he ought to beare to his father Annib. I can neuer forget y e vndoubted saying y e fewe children are like the father that many of them are worse and y e those which are better are very rare thin sowed I would haue vs first therfore serch out y e cause why so fewe children resemble the father answere to y e hope he coÌ„ceiueth of theÌ„ whereof ariseth disagreement betweene them by y t meane we shal better vnderstaÌ„d what their conuersatioÌ„ ought to be Guaz. With all my hart Annib. First it is to be considered that children bring smal or no comfort vnto their parents if nature fortune bee not well tempered in them Guaz. How so Annib. As a fruitful graine sowed in a soyle vnfit for it bringeth forth no increase so a child which is naturally giueÌ„ to learning shal neuer do well if he be giuen to warfare so much it importeth to finde out in the beginning
they make all the house to shake not knowing that as the Poet sayth Great force lies hid in gentle Soueraigntie And therefore let Maysters to take heede of contrarying this saying I will not like a Lyon eyther dysorder thy househoulde seruauntes or oppresse thy subiects Now when the Mayster knoweth he hath gotten the loue the fidelity and the sufficiency of his seruant hee must bee carefull â—â— any wise to keepe that whiche he hath gotten whereto there is nothing of more efficacy then to vse him courteously ayding hym in hys troubles visiting hym in hys sicknesse and bestowing on hym when occasion shall serue that whiche shall cost the Mayster little and pleasure the seruant much who thinketh himselfe nothing beholding to hys Mayster for the wages whiche hee hath for his trauayle but onelye for that which he shall vppon his courtesy liberallye bestowe vpon him And that Mayster is greatly deceyued which thinketh that his seruaunt whether he bee a Gentleman or not serueth him onely for wages withoute hope of other recompense And therefore let him not forget to rewarde the good Seruaunt and keepe him alwayes aboute him as a precious thing remembring that the seruaunte is in a certayne sorte one part of the mayster and that there is nothing in this life more necessary then a good Seruaunte Wherevpon it is written if thou haue a trusty seruaunt let him be vnto thee as thine owne soule Lette not the mayster take scorne to heare his reasons sometimes to consult with him and to gouerne himselfe according to his faythfull aduise for that there haue been founde Seruauntes who haue more aduaunced and profyted their maysters house then his Brothers or Children haue To conclude the maister ought to vse his seruaunt familiarlye remembring to intreate his inferiours as hee woulde bee intreated by his Superioures which hauing regard vnto hee will alwayes flye that detestable vice of ingratitude and according as hee shall increase in habilitye hee will aduaunce the state of his Seruaunt besides his promised hyre not faile to recompence liberally according to his power the long and faythfull seruice which he hath done him Guaz. You haue as far as I see by one selfe meane instructed both the maister the seruant yet I should thinke it not amisse that the seruant had some speciall charge giuen him Annib. I giue in charge to the seruant to learne the meaning of this old prouerbe It is a hard matter to make a bed for a dogge for as a man cannot tell on which side hee will lye when he goeth turning round being ready to lye downe so a seruant cannot tell what seruice he may do acceptable and agreable to his maister being for the most hart variable and diuers And therefore the maister being of so delicate a nature hee muste determyne wyth hymselfe to take anye payne in seruice and yet all will be scarse ynough to contene him but he must take heed of falling into the common errour of seruauntes who like a new broome whiche sweepeth the house cleane serue diligentlye at the first but after growe slouthfull That is not the waye to gette fauour for not hee which beginneth wel is worthy of recompense but he which perseuereth in wel doing And the seruaunt must thinke that his mayster will looke that he should rather heate then coole himselfe in seruice Let the seruaunte also conforme all his thoughtes and doinges to the will and pleasure of his Mayster and to tye the Asse as they say where his maister will haue him tyed without any contradiction for there is nothing that spites a man more then to see him who is bounde vnto him and who ought to obay him to make resistaunce against him That he goe not about to creepe in credite with his mayster by flattery or hipocrisie but to serue and obaye him with an vnfaigned hart for by faygned words men gather an argument of faythlesse deedes whereby his mayster beginneth to suspect him to thinke that he had more neede be ouerlooked then instructed but in any wise lette him not forget to doe his faythfull and true intent not for feare but for duties sake like as a good wise fellow answered to one who sayd vnto him If I take thee to my seruice wilt thou be an honest man Yea sayd he though you take me not And for that all seruice is ill bestowed which is not well accepted and that there is no greater greefe then to serue and not to please when after certayne proofe he seeth that he cannot frame himselfe to his maysters fancy let him seeke to depart from him rather with his good will then his ill And when he seeth that he is in his maisters bookes let him there holde him saying in his heart Happy is he who serueth the happy and not seeke chaunge remembring that the rolling stone getteth no mosse To be short let there be no want fouÌ„d in him of loue of reuerence of faithfulnesse of diligence of warinesse of readinesse of secretnesse lette him not accounte of his owne life being in his maysters seruice and lette him perswade with himselfe eyther as the prouerbe is To serue like a hinde or runne away like a hart Guaz. It now commeth in my head that we haue not ordered our matters as we should haue done for that wee haue spoken of the conuersation of priuate maisters with the basest sort of seruauntes whereas wee shoulde fyrst haue spoken of the Conuersation betweene the Prince and the Courtyer Annib. We fayd yesterday that Princes had no neede of our instructions and therefore it is not needefull to prescribe vnto them any orders how to entertayne their traine for they behaue themselues in their courtes honourablye peacibly and quietly they iniury not their seruaunts either in wordes or deedes neyther are those disorders to be seene in Princes Courtes as are commonlye in pryuate houses to be â—reeft they are euery way faultlesse Guaz. Seing you are so loth whatsoeuer the matter bee to set down any fourme of coÌ„uersatioÌ„ to princes yet would it might please you to prescribe some order at least to their seruants that our discourse may be no way defectuous Annib. Besides that it is now late and that I am called away to other businesse you know we are eased of this labour by him who with his learned penne hath most perfectly fourmed the Courtier Guaz. That Gentleman by the excellencye of that worke hath no doubt won to himselfe immortall fame neyther hath he omitted any thing belonging to the duty of a right courtyer but for all that I would it might please you to obserue the order of a diligent Phisition who besides the receytes of other Phisitions wil be sure to minister to his Patient somwhat of himselfe Annib. I will not stick to giue you two receites if one be not ynough And for that it were to doe wrong to gentlemen to propose vnto them those simple common things to witte the loue fidelitie diligence