must make your tongue passant your anger rampant and your malice couchant As for you Signior Epigrammatist your head is troubled with such a rewme of conceit as I know not whether to wish you a better head to contayne it or a better heed to guide it For harke in mine eare a little the rankest Raggamuffin that euer swaggered in Shorditch is not looser in his liuing then you in your writing but yet there is time to amend for nunquam sero si serio I know you will note that because its seruiceable for your purpose but withall Hic tibi praâ—terea quaedam sunt graeca notanda that is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 temporize not therefore too long But what a Gods name meane you to negotiate in euery mans matter Doubtlesse you were super-fantastically infatuated when you skipt vp and downe from one estate to another like a Squirrell on a tree and snapt at euery man as though he had bene a venison Pasty O ye were as busie as a Bee and as angry as a Waspe the heate of your colour euaporated her imagination and the liberality of your tongue mayntained most absolute lyes for the atchieuing of the whetstone You made more reckoning of a Iest then a scholler doth of a Maundy Thursday or Cheshire-men of the New-found well and yet when all come to all was as bluÌ„t as a Hob nayle which need not haue bene sith as I sayd you might haue had the whetstone for lying The whole Epigram doth nothing but make way for the two last lines which are brought in like a piece of cheese and a manchet to disgest all that went before And verily you haue greatly troubled your selfe in naming certaine particular persons Such a one you call Fabius and another Felix anon comes me Rufus and Clodius and such a company of Imaginarie persons and inuisible Ideas to hold your worship talke as would fat a man with laughter or fill him with wonder In the end when your page hath playd the knaue with euery one a little you turne ouer a new leafe and cal for more company with whom lest any should suspect you to be no great scholler you talke of the Intellectuall Quintessence Genius and such great secrets of Art wonderfull luxuriously How your tongue rioted in bawdery I am ashamed to rehearse onely thus much I dare say that if you had liued in the time of Ouid he would haue giuen you his daughter to wife conditionally for some instructions when hee was writing DE ARTE AMANDI For touching examples of Venerie I thinke you had gotten a whole Sampler-full from Venus her selfe so that you might well haue a place and applause aboue all others for that faculty as you were in these things lasciuious so you are in each thing friuolous in some things ridiculous in most things malitious in all things vaine glorious Now by your leaue Monsieur Humorist you that talke of mens humours and dispositions as though you had bene a Constellation-setter seuen yeres in the firmament or had cast account of euery mans natiuitie with the starres but if I were as the Astronomers I would call you into question for it seeing you haue so abused their Art But had you bene but so meane a Philosopher as haue knowne that mores sequuntur humores you would questionles haue made better humours if it had bene but to better our maners and not in stead of a morall medicine to haue giuen them a mortall poyson but I consider of you as of a yonger brother you wanted this same multis nimium and nulli satis coyne a goodyere of it and therefore opus vsus put you to such a pinch that you made sale of your Humours to the Theater and there plaid Pee boh with the people in your humour then out of your humour I doe not blame you for this for though you were guilty of many other things yet I dare say you were altogether without guilt at that time notwithstanding I suppose you would haâ—e written for loue and not for money but I see you are one of those that if a man can finde in his purse to giue them presently they can finde in their hearts to loue him euerlastingly for now adaies Aâ—s in praesentâ— perfectum format amorem But it makes the lesse matter because I know but few but are coâ—â—iuals with you in the loue of siluer so that if the question were asked Quis amat pecuniam Experience would answere the voice with a double Eccho Quisquis And indeed I see no reason why euerie true subiect should not loue the Q. coyne To conclude therefore if you demaund why my Epistle is so long and my booke so short I answere The first is for your credit to shew that you are no barren subiect and the other for my owne aduantage that I might buckle the better with you My reason is intailed to the ground of this Axiome Vis vnita fortior for a man giues a sorer blow with his closed fist then with his open hand Whence I suppose the fist was called Pugnus of Pugno to fight as fittest for blowes and the palme Palma because the Palme is an Embleme of victorie and peace Moreouer in doing much it is hard to doe well and in doing well hard to doe much for the difficultie of an action consists in doing wel in doing much or in doing often Nam agere recte â—â—ulta aut saepe difficile est saith Aristotle lib. 2. caeli cap. 12. Briefly therefore my booke is briefe Nam frustra fit per plura quod fieri potest per pauciora Thus wishing I were as potentiall to please my friends as I am optatiue to pleasure my foes I beseâ—ch yoâ— accept of a poore Pilgrims devotion W. I. Ad Lectorem ASpera succincto cantabit Musa libello Quae lege sic videas Qualia visa legas Pauca tibiscribo scribens vt amicus amico Si cupias capias si capias faueas Multis pauca placent sed paucis multa placebuÌ„t Multis quam paucis me placuisse placet Si quis me nescit ne sit me scire molestus Si mea quis poscit possit habere mea W. I. To his friend YOu that come by and chance this booke to see Peruse it well and iudge indifferently Yeeld him no more that made it but his owne And giue him leaue to reape what he hath sowne But if it chance to stand within the sight Of any time-obseruing Parasite Or any vaine obsequious Sicophant Thinke with a bended front his Muse to daunt Him doth this little little booke despise And seemes as flashing lightning to his eyes In this as in a glasse those men may see The true proportion of their vanitie Then view him well that with impartiall eye Dares scourge the Scourger of base villany And ye shall finde Wit Poetrie and Arte Each in his function play his seuerall part I. F. The Pilgrims Story WAndring I was vnto the holy
indeed And doing so not one should need to need But ye perhaps as Satyre argue well Yet sought not for reuersion of the praise But publique good in taxing publique ill And reprehending mens blame-worthy waies Well let that be that seem'd but your intent Yet I will it conuince by Argument Were one endew'd with all coelestiall grace Had he the tongue of men and Angels too Should he remoue the mouÌ„taines froÌ„ their place Could he alone what no man else can doe Yet wanteth loue as ye when all is done Were he a Prophet he could profit none Want ye not loue that with malignant spight Vncouer'd all the fraile infirmities Of your weake brethren to the wide worlds sight Want ye not loue that all men do despise And would extort from others open shame Your famous glorie and your glorious fame Either ye could and would not vanquish vice Or else ye would and could not happily Or neither could or would in any wise Or else both would and could and dare not trie Or could and would and dar'd but did not so Or could and would and dar'd and did it to If could and would not then ye spightfull were If would and could not insufficient men If neither could nor would ye both appeare If could would and dar'd not cowards then If could and would and dar'd why did not ye If could would dar'd and did no vice haue we This needes must be the true conclusion Yet this will not a true conclusion be We shall resolue it by distinction True then in feare in matter false we see For proofe of which we all haue vice to shew True that it 's false then and false that it 's true It seemes your brother Satyre and ye twayne Plotted three wayes tâ— put the Diuell downe One should outray le him by inuectiue vaine One all to flout him like a countrey clowne And one in action on a stage out-face And play vpon him to his great disgrace You Humorist if it be true I heare d Against the booke of Humours An action thus against the Diuell brought Sending your humours to each Tâ—eater To serue the writ that ye had gotten out e Pasquils Mad-cap That Mad-cap yet superiour praise doth win Who out of hope euen casts his cap at sin Why did ye such vnchristian courses take As lothes the eares of the offended wise Can ye make sinne against it selfe to make Or wring the Diuell out by his owne vice It 's past your power to bring your will to passe Your vaine attempting but a tempting was Experience the looking-glasse of fooles Shewes much contention little good affords And ye might learne this at the GraÌ„mar schooles That man is wise that speakes few things or words Much worth more worthie is a quiet life Then strife in nought but how to cease froÌ„ strife Leaue that ambition that ledde yee away To censure men and their mis-gouernement Iudging the world before the latter day As though ye would the Sonne of God preuent Leaue it I say and lay it quite aside How can men rise sith Angels fell by pride Is' t like the aire of three mens breaths at last Should purifie the sincke of all mens sinne When as their words like lothsome vomite cast Not purifies but putrifies within For that your speach do most mens minds infect Some sweares more sayes most thinks and all suspect What will ye say your end though good may be Ye meaned well whatsoeu'r ye haue done God graunt ye did and I will graunt it ye Nought me contents lesse then contention But your good meaning little profites now Vnlesse that ye in action do it show A good intent faire vertues hand hath kist And that 's the most which small auaileth vs For vertue still in action doth consist Else it were nothing to be vertuous Sith euer the most Heroike purposes Are easly thought but are not done with ease If vertuous Esse then in action be Shew your good deeds but they are not to show And though they were they would not profit ye For doing good is not sufficient now If this profound or else profan'd appeare First heare my proofe then censure what ye heare In doing good a man may badly do Because good deeds ill done do turne to nought For doing good it must be well done to Good done doth no good nor done as it ought One may do good and yet do euill still For good must be well done or else it 's ill Sith then ye see how farre ye do digresse Consider now what first deprau'd your mind It anger seemes mixt with vaine-gloriousnesse If trees by fruit and fruit by taste we finde The bitter nature of your speach is such And then the glory taken in 't as much A fiery spirit of presumption An ayry vapour of soone-melted wit A watry humour of affection An earthie grosenesse of conceit with it Compounds your natures as small palmistrie May by the lines of your right hand descrie But humane anger is of triple kinde As ancient Greeke Philosophers say all The first we still in cholericke natures finde Soon mou'd soon pleas'd whoÌ„ cholerik meÌ„ we cal Whose colour will their choler streight bewray But lightning-like it flashes soone away The next is slower of conceyt then this But long remayneth steept in peeuish thought And in the melancholike nature is So closse conceald as few misdoubteth ought At last bursts out into some sodaine ill Or mitigates by phisickes soueraigne skill The third most cruell soone vsurps the minde And neuer dyes till it reuenge doth see Which in depraued sanguines we may finde Who vndispleased still most pleasant be But vex them much and Lion-like they 'l rage Their bloud wil rise scarse with blud wil swage But Phlegmatike slowest to wrath of all Cause their cold humors queÌ„ch their heat of blud Rather displeas'd then angry we may call Of later kinde yours then is vnderstood Thirsting reuenge in most mischeeuous thought Til with your pen you had your purpose wrought Now Iesu God how swiftly did you scoure With Hue and Crie for apprehending vice Your tongues ranne after twentie miles an houre No Irish lackey dare it enterprise Many like postes do follow after ill That should like pillers stand by vertue still But all this while we haue employde our speach To bring to light the workes that light doe shun And what ye did we did but onely teach Now I'â—e aduise you what you should haue done See then my loue and thinke of what you see Beholding it for it beholding be Not so prophane with vnprepared minde Polluted lippes vnsanctified hart Teach humane kinde in such inhumane kinde As not belongeth to a Christians part But haue bewail'd the worlds vnhappinesse First drown'd for sin now drown'd with sinfulnes What heathen-hearted Saracene could see His natiue Countriemen loue-sicke with sin Espouse their soules to foule iniquitie And not with griefe haue euerwhelmed bin Who to their foes could
more vnfriendly doe Or to their friends haue been a greater foe Or if ye would not for your countries sake Whose loue shuld be the supreme of your brest Yet it behou'd a Christian care to take Of your owne selues as sinfull as the rest For if this Land be Sodomiz'd with sinne It 's not your lots to be at Lots therein Accept in loue what I with griefe vnfold Hold that in minde what ye accept in loue Try that in proofe what ye in minde doe hold Vse that in life what ye in triall proue That life through proof mind through loue may chuse What it accepts to hold and tries to vse That is to change your mis-employed course And weane your wit from sucking still of shame To feed on purer substance of discourse That it may manage deeds of endlesse fame And not disgraced so ignobly lurke Depriu'd of good deprau'd by euill worke Long not to be what ye too long haue bin Rare is the tree that fruit in Winter beares O sacrifice your sorrow for your sin And bathe your cheeks with deaw of timely teares Procrastination breeds but future sorrow Then to repentance neuer bid good morrow As many dayes as in the yeere there bee So many yeeres each day to me will seeme As many houres as in the day we see So many dayes each houre I shall esteeme As many minutes as each houre doth spend So many houres each minute will extend Vntill I find what yet I cannot see Your words lesse euill and your deeds more sound Vntill I see what yet I doubt will be Your loue more deep your malice lesse profound Vntill I heare what yet I cannot know Your ill to good your good to better grow But Iesu God I haue forgotte me much My hope is bootlesse thus dispent on yee This gentle dealing will ye little touch Proud-stomackt gracelesse Rake-hels as ye be Few minds their faults and fewer mends the same Till punishment supplie the place of blame Come on your wayes I 'le ye no more reproue But what your friends bad that perfourme I must Correct ye sharpely not for hate but loue Stand not on points then they must be vntrust Parate vos dispatch content your minde Ye heare before what ye shall feele behinde Yet soft awhile and first the causes see Inprimis you haue plaid the trewants I can shew Spending your time on lewdest companie Item you said In speach not one word true Item you brawl'd and quarrel'd from your place And so forgot the Concord in that case Nay ye are growne to all vngraciousnesse Mocking and flouting still at euery one Your happinesse is in vnhappinesse The world cries out of your abusion So that to spring to growth of any grace The case is cleare you are cleare out of case Not one a veniall scourge escaping crime Each more deserues then I 'le inflict for all And yet of one I thought not all this time That is because your betters ye miscall Nicknaming all your fellowes there 's no hoe But tag and ragge and cutte and long tayle to I if ye meet a Noble man or so In stead of reuerence as becommeth vs Ye will abase him and abuse him to And so forget Cede Maioribus Come on your wayes the reckning is come in To make a purse now I must flay your skin Yet if I saw one sparke of grace in yee The kindling hope would melt my anger cleare Well masters ye may thanke God heartilie This Gentleman is busie reading here For whose disturbance I must keepe the peace And cease to striue or rather striue to cease Downe on your knees though in humilitie For time deposes such as pride exalts And aske the world forgiuenesse instantlie I did recount do ye recant your faults Now I haue done say do no verdicts grutch Whether inough too little or too much Too much if bad not good enough if much If good enough then here 's too little here To whom it 's little it 's not bad to such To whom it 's much not good enough I feare If bad and little then the lesse your payne If good and much why then the more your gayne FINIS