out of which this love doth arise as I informed you in my former Letter was the putting off our own interests and putting on Gods Now I shall proceed in minding you of another Christian duty which is effectual to the knitting us together in a firm operative love and that is this That a Christian is to walk as one that is a member of Christ Jesus Into what near and close Union are those that are given him by the Father received How hath the Holy-Ghost chosen out all the nearest natural relations to express and shadow out the closeness of that spiritual relation that is between Christ and his Christ is our King and we his People he is our Master and we are his Servants he is our Shepherd and we the Sheep of his Pasture he is our friend and we his he is our Husband and we are his Spouse he is the Vine we the Branches he our Head and we are his Members he is in us and we in him he is our Life This duty will have influence upon our affections these ways First As Christ is our Head and we are his Members so he hath an absolute command over us And where this relation is real obedience to the commands of Christ is sweet and without constraint and force now this is Christs command that we should love one another by this saith he shall all men know you are my Disciples if you love one another Those relations into which Christ receiveth his speak and hold forth a willing cheerful full submission to the commands of Christ and what duty is there in all the Gospel which is more frequently and earnestly pressed than this A new commandment give I unto you that you love one another as I have loved you so love one another So full is the whole Scripture of obligations both upon Conscience and Ingenuity to this duty that the whole stream of it seems to run into this chanel of Love But Christs command is such an obligation as one that hath any spiritual sense to feel the strength of it cannot break It is Christ hath commanded and shall not we obey Shall not the love of Christ constrain us Shall we be so unkind to him who hath been so kind to us as to stand it out with him in so equal a command Shall not the sweetness of Christ overcome us that seeing his love was so great as not to spare his life for us yea and suffer more for us I believe than we think he did nay I may say than we can conceive he did and that which commends his love to us is that he should do and suffer so much for us that of his creatures we were become his Enemies Why should we not then cheerfully submit to him in this one command love one another Doth not the very word Love carry in it at the first hearing abundance of alluring violence This is Christs yoak and here we may well say his yoak is easie and his burthen is light What is there in a life of divine love that we need be afraid of What is there is this command that is grievous How can this yoak be uneasLy What reason to be loath to take it on But such is the base degeneracy and unreasonableness of corrupted nature that when any thing comes in competition with self-love then all bonds must be broken all yoaks must be cast off and nothing will then keep us in but we must and will take our own part though never so bad And our own part in the heart of passion must seem best though it be contrary to infinite Righteousness which is God himself O that we could once learn to lay aside this natural prejudice which we have against vvhatsoever doth thwart our humours though it be never so just holy and rational O that we could look more narrowly and search more exactly into our selves vvith a spiritual Eye and then vve could not but see that vvhich would make us loath our selves and to become abominable in our own Eyes and rather take any part than our own vve should see so much deceitfulness in our selves as that vve should think our case bad though it seem never so good to our natural self till we apply it to the rule Rule nature vvould have none but it self and though in our better composure of mind vve may receive some other rule yet in our passions vve cannot spare time to go to any other rule but we take that vvhich is next to hand and self vvill be sure to be that But we must if vve vvill be true Christians learn to deny self and vvholly to submit our selves to the Command of Christ as our only Rule O let the power of Christs love and command make us obedient to this command of love Secondly If vve are to walk as Members of Christ vvho is our Head this hath influence upon our affections to oblige us to love one another as from the command vvhich the Head hath over the Members so from the conformity that is to be in the Members to the Head The Head and the Members are not of two several Natures But the same nature passeth from the Head through all the Members Now if vve be ingrafted into Christ vve must become of the same nature vvith him let us be followers of Christ as dear Children and walk in love as Christ also hath loved us Paul bids us to be followers of himself as he vvas follower of Christ Christ then is to be our great pattern He commands us to learn of him for he was meek For us to think to attain unto a perfect conformity to him is in vain but as much as our natures are capable of vve are to strive for it Christs love to us hath breadth and length and depth and heighth vvhich passeth knowledge Greater love hath no man than this that a man should lay down his life for his friend but herein Christ commended his love to us in that vvhile vve vvere enemies Christ died for us Behold what manner of love is this that Christ hath bestowed on us Hereby perceive vve the love of God that is Christ because he laid down his life for us 1 Joh. 3. 16. His inference is there the same with mine and that in a higher degree we ought to lay down our lives for the Brethren If Life then sin then passion and vvrath then a base proud self-pleasing and contradicting humour Do vve see any Loveliness or Beauty in Christ Jesus Is there no excellency in his sweetness pity and patience Is not his loving-kindness amiable And would not somthing like this in us be desirable Had he more reason to love us than we have to love one another O let our souls be overcome with the thoughts of this love of Christ Let our hearts be kindled and blown up into a flame of Love by it O when shall this dear precious pure eternal love of His over-power our souls When shall it
enough in God and the Holy Scriptures to bear up our spirits under any afflictions let them be never so great What do you say to that word Who is there among you that feareth the Lord and that obeyeth the voice of his servant that walketh in darkness and seeth no light let him trust in the name of the Lord and stay himself upon his God Though all earthly comforts were fled away and though you could see no light from any of these things below yet if you look upward to God in Christ there there is comfort to be found there is light to be espied yea a great and glorious light which if we can rightly discern it would put out the light of all lower comforts and cause them to be vilely accounted of But alas alas those heavenly comforts though they are in themselves so precious and if really and sensibly felt able to raise a mans Soul from Earth yea from Hell to the foretaste of Heaven it self yet for want of a spiritual sense they are by most of the world undervalued slighted and thought to be but fancies Nay let me speak freely Christians themselves and those that we have cause to hope are men of another world and truly born again yet for want of a spiritual quickness in this spiritual sight and sense these comforts are too lowly and meanly esteemed of It is a spiritual sense that inableth a Christian to behold a glorious lustre and beauty in Invisibles and raiseth the Soul up to the Gate of Heaven it self and when he is there how can he chuse but look down with a holy slighting and contempt upon the sweetest of all Earthly enjoyments How can he chuse but think all Creature-comforts but small compared with one look of love from Christ This heavenly comfort was that which David did so much desire Lord lift up the light of thy countenance upon me was the language of his soul and when this was come how was his heart inlarged Thou hast put joy and gladness in my heart more than in the time when their Corn and Wine increased He then that in afflictions would find comfort must strive to see spiritual comforts to be the greatest even that comfort which is from God in the face of Jesus Christ this this will be a cordial this will be as marrow and fatness to the soul They that have interest in Christ what need they be moved and discomfited with any worldly trouble Is not Christ better than ten children is not his loving-kindness better than life Is not all the world a shadow compared with one quarter of an hours injoyment of him even on this side of Glory in some of his own Ordinances O therefore strive to get your interest in this comfort secured and then all 's well He that hath Christ hath all things If God be reconciled to you through him then he will withhold no good thing from you We poor foolish creatures do scarce know what is good for our selves but it 's no small incouragement to the people of God that Wisdom it self takes care of them and one that loves them better than they love themselves looks after them And he hath given his promise for it that all shall work together for their good And what better foundation of comfort can there be in the whole world than this Why may you not then say with the Psasmist Why art thou cast down O my soul and why art thou disquieted within me hope in God Let not your soul sink under afflictions for what reason have you to be discomfited under them Can you gather from thence that the Lord doth not love you No surely but rather the contrary for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth every Son whom he receiveth What Son is he whom the Father chasteneth not Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down and the feeble knees Let this serve as a remedy against excessive grief Get your love to God increased which if you do the love of all other things will wax cold And if you have given God your heart you will give him leave to take what he will that is yours and what he hath you will judge rather well kept than lost Remember that Scripture and let it have its due impression upon your spirit He that loves Father or Mother Brother or Sister yea or Children more than me is not worthy of me O labour to have your affections therefore more raised up to him who is most worthy of them let him have the uppermost greatest room in your heart and let your love to all other things be placed in subjection to your love of God be ruled by it and directed to it Be our earthly afflictions never so great yet let this love to God poise our Souls so that they may not be overweighed with grief on the one side or stupidness on the other side Again let our souls be awed by that glorious power and omnipotency of God who is able to do any thing and who will do whatsoever pleaseth him both in Heaven and in Earth at whose word and for whose Glory all things that are were made And what are we poor creatures that we should dare to entertain any hard thought of this God! 'T is dangerous contending with God! Let us learn that great lesson of resigning up our selves and all we have to God let us put our selves as instruments into the hands of the Lord to do what he pleaseth with us and let us remember that it was our promise and covenant with God to yield our selves up to him and to be wholly at his disposal The Soul is then in a sweet frame when it can cordially say It is the Lord let him do what seemeth good in his eyes Not my will but thine be done Again let us know that though we cannot alwaies see into the reasonableness of the ways of God for his ways are often in the thick Cloud and our weak Eyes cannot look into those depths in which he walketh yet all the ways of God are just holy and good Let us therefore have a care of so much as moving much more of entertaining any unworthy thoughts against God But let us submit willingly to the yoak which he is pleased to lay upon us lest he break us with his terrible judgments And now it hath seemed good to God to lay this stroak upon you I pray labour rightly to improve it and let this trial prepare you for greater And seeing the uncertainty of all worldy things indeavour with all your might to get your heart above them and I beseech the Lord who is the great Physitian of Souls and knows how to apply a Salve to every Sore of his to comfort you with his spiritual comforts that he would favourably shine upon you and receive you into a nearer union and communion with himself Into his hands I commit you with him I leave you praying that he would make up all in
the evening when he usually walked into the field if the weather would permit if not he retired into the Church or any empty solitary room Where observing his constant practice that if possible I might be acquainted with the reason of his retiredness I once hid my self that I might take the more exact notice of the intercourse that I judged was kept up between him God But O what a spectacle did I see Surely a man walking with God conversing intimately with his Maker and maintaining a holy familiarity with the great Jehovah Me-thought I saw one talking with God me-thoughts I saw a spiritual Merchant in an heavenly Exchange driving a rich trade for the treasures of the other world O what a glorious sight it was Me-thinks I see him still how sweetly did his face shine O with what a lovely countenance did he walk up and down his lips going his body oft reaching up as if he would have taken his flight into Heaven His looks smiles and every motion spake him to be upon the very Confines of Glory O had one but known what he was then feeding on Sure he had meat to eat which the world knew not of Did we but know how welcome God made him when he brought him into his banqueting-house That which one might easily perceive his heart to be most fixed upon was The infinite love of God in Christ to the poor lost Sons and Daughters of Adam What else meant his high expressions What else did his own words to a dear friend signifie but an extraordinary sense of the freeness fulness and duration of that love To use his own words God saith he holds mine eyes most upon his Goodness his unmeasurable-Goodness and the Promises which are most sure and firm in Christ His love to us is greater surer fuller than ours to our selves For when we loved our selves so as to destroy our selves he loved us so as to save us CHAP. X. His Exhortations to some of his friends ANd that he might ingage others in more ardent affections to God he put words into their mouths Let us then saith he behold Him till our hearts desire till our very souls are drawn out after him till we are brought to acquaintance intimacy delight in him O that he would love me O that I might love him O blessed are they that know him and are known of him It is good for me to draw near to God A day in his Court is better than a thousand elsewhere My soul longeth yea fainteth for the Courts of the Lord my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God Oh that I were received into converse with him that I might hear his voice and see his countenance For His voice is sweet and his countenance is comly Oh that I might communicate my self to God and that he would give himself to me O that I might love him That I were sick of love that I might die in love That I might lose my self in his love as a small drop in the unfathomable depth of his love That I might dwell in his eternal love O saith he to a dear friend under some fears as to his state stand still and wonder behold his love and admire now if never yet consider what thou canst discover in this precious Jesus Canst thou not see so much till thou canst see no more not because of its shortness but because of thy darkness Here 's a Sea fling thy self into it and thou shalt be compassed with the height and depth and breadth and length of love and be filled with all the fulness of God Is not this enough VVhat wouldst thou have more Fling away all besides God God is Portion enough and the only proper portion of the Soul Hast thou not tasted hast thou not known that his love is better than wine Hast thou not smelt the savour of his precious ointments for which the virgins love him This this is he who is altogether lovely And while I write my heart doth burn my soul is on fire I am sick of love Dear soul come near and look upon his face and see whether thou canst choose but love him Fall upon him imbrace him give him thy dearest choicest love all 's too little for him let saith and love kiss him You shall be no more bold than welcome Fix thine eyes again and again upon Him look upon His lovely sweet and royal face till thou art taken with this beautiful person who hath not his fellow upon the earth his equal among the Angels Come near still contemplate his excellency review each part and thou wilt find him to be made up of love winde thy affections about him bind thy soul to him with the cords of love Thus shalt thou find a new life to animate thy soul thou shall then feel a new warmth to melt thy heart a divine fire to burn up corruption and to break forth into a flame of heavenly love Dwell in this love and thou shalt dwell in God and God in thee But now me-thinks I see you almost all in tears because thou feelest not such workings of love towards God Weep on still for Love hath tears as well as grief and tears of love shall be kept in his bottle as well as they yea they shall be as pretious jewels and as an excellent ornament Hast thou felt such meltings of loving-grief Know that they are no other than the streams of Christs love flowing to you and through you and from you to Him again And thus is Christ delighted in beholding of his own beauties in his Spouses eye I have prayed for a blessing for you and on these related to you and if they prove of any power by the spirit of God to you it will be matter of joy and praise by your dear friend John Janeway CHAP. XI His Temptations from Satan THus you have a tast of his Spirit and may perceive what it was that he had his heart most set upon and what kept his graces in such vigor and activity and how desirous he was that others should be sharers with him in this mercy Yet for all this he had his gloomy days and the Sun was sometimes overcast his sweets were sometimes imbittered with dreadful and horrid temptations The Devil shot his poisonous arrows at him yet through the Captain of his salvation he came more than a conqueror out of the field He was with Paul many times lifted up into the third Heavens and saw and heard things unutterable but lest he should be exalted above measure there was a Messenger of Satan sent to buffet him It would make a Christians heart even ake to hear and read what strange temptations this gratious soul was exercised with But he was well armed for such a conflict having on the shield of faith whereby he quenched the fiery darts of that Wicked-One yet this fight cost him the sweating of his very body for agonies of spirit and tears
Hell it self in as much as the cause doth eminently contain all and more evil than the effect This is the spiritual death whereby we are dead in sin the fruit of the first curse Thou shalt die the death The souls life in this world is its being in God and living to God and injoyment of God and the souls eternal life will be so to know God as to be formed into his likeness and to be received into a full participation of and communion with God The souls death here is its being fallen off from God and its being carried into its self and its eternal death will be an utter separation from him Now mankind being thus fallen from God Christ is sent for this very end to bring man back again to God and then man is brought unto God when he is brought out of that state of self-love into that state whereby he gives up himself wholly to God Thus the soul being quickened by the spirit of God leaveth off living to its self which was its death and lives to God which is its life Here comes in the great duty of denying of our selves for Christs sake which indeed were no duty if there were nothing in us contrary to God This then is our duty not to seek our own things before the things of God to lay Gods glory as the foundation of all our actions and if there be any thing in us contrary to that to give it no leave to stand in competition with God Now were this deeply rooted in our hearts how would contention anger wrath and heart-burning and all things of this nature cease Such influence would the taking Gods part against self have into the quiet and peace of men that it cannot be without it We see how wisely God hath ordered things that the very act of mans being off from God should be the cause of confusion war and misery and what can be more just and equal than this that God who is the author of our being should be the end of our being O then that once our minds were again reduced to this frame To live wholly to God! O that we were wrought into a through prejudice against self which stands between us and true peace I beg of you to spare some time from the world and retire into privacie where you may apply this to your own soul My prayer to God for you out of the strong yearnings of my soul towards you is that he would make this effectual to its intended end for the inward peace of your soul for your comfortable walking with God in this life and that condition wherein the wisdom of God hath placed you I writ these lines with the strength of affection I feel fear grief compassion working strongly O pity me in the midst of all these whilest I cannot call to remembrance the cause of these without a flood of tears Fulfill therefore my joy in being of one mind yea if there be any consolation in Christ if any comfort in love if any-fellowship of the spirit if any bowels of mercy fulfill ye my joy and be like-minded having the same love being of one accord of one mind Phil. 2. 1 2. I leave you to the love and mercy of God and to the working of his spirit which alone is able to put life and power into these words Which that he would do is the earnest request and servent prayer of yours John Janeway Now upon a faithful perusal of this Letter it pleased the Lord to give a meek and more complying spirit and in a great measure it wrought its intended effect The noble design of this sweet peace-maker took so far as to produce an ingenious acknowledgement and sorrowful bewailing of the want of that self-denial humility meekness and love which doth so much become our sacred profession Upon the hearing of this good news how strangely was this good man transported Upon the receipt of a letter from the former friend which gave no small satisfaction hopes that his former indeavours were not in vain And that he might drive the nail to the head he speedily backs his for former Letter with a second which speaks these words Dear Friend MY soul is inlarged towards you and my affections work within me and yet give me leave now to lay aside those weak flames of natural affection and to kindle my soul with divine love Here there is no fear of running out too far while all is in Christ and for Christ O that now I could let out the strength of my soul not as to your self but as to God! O that my heart were more inlarged that it may be comprehensive of a more full true Christian love God is altogether lovely and to be loved for himself and we are so far dark ignorant and blind as we do not see and account him most amiable O let me have such discoveries of his excellency that my heart may pant thirst and break for its earnest longings after the richest participations of him that I may for ever be swallowed up of his love O that I may love him a thousand times more than I do That I may rejoyce in him and take the sweetest complacencie delight in him alone that I could let out my affections most where I see any thing of himself any beams of the image of his holiness and that beareth the impression of his spirit Had you visited me from the dead could my affections have moved more strongly or my rejoycings have been greater than they were at the receipt of those lines which I had from you wherein so much of Christ in you and the goodness of Christ to me did appear Fulfil my joy in the Lord refresh my bowels and let not my rejoycing be in vain If it hath pleased the Lord to make the imperfect weak indeavours of his unworthy servant any way subservient to his own glory in you it is that which I account my self unworthy of desire to receive it from him as a manifestation of the riches of his free goodness to my self knowing my self to be unworthy to be his instrument in the meanest service much more in so great a one as this is Hoping and perswading my self of the effectual vvork of my former letter I am incouraged to write again both because of my promise and your expectation and the vveighty nature of the subject that I vvas then upon vvhich vvas Love True Christian love which is a thing so comly so beautiful and sweet and of such vveighty power in all actions to make them divine excellent that there is no labour lost in indeavouring to get more of it even in those in vvhom it most aboundeth The Apostle 1 Thes 4. 9 10. Though he knew that they vvere taught of God to love one another and that they did it towards all the Brethren yet even them he beseeched to abound more and more in that grace of love The former principal
natures and the rest which had no such tendency and do not make the avoiding of the former a pretence against your imitating of the latter It is not studying meditating praying preaching according to the measures of natures strength that much shortnerh life I think that Learned man wrote not foolishly who maintaineth that studies tend to long life For my own part I was seeble before I was a hard Student And studies have been a constant pleasure to me And let any man judge whether constant pleasure tend to shorten any mans life Indeed that which destroyeth the health of Students is 1. The sedentariness of their lives 2. And want of temperance or due care of their diet 3. And want of sufficient cheerfulness 4. And taking colds Could Students but more imitate the labouring-man and take just hours and opportunities for bodily labour not playful walks and exercises that never warm and purge the blood and did they eat and drink wisely and live joyfully and avoid colds they might bestow the rest of their time in the hardest studies with little hurt except here and there a melanchly or diseased man I doubt not but such narratives as this will tempt many a slothful sensual Scholar to indulge his sensuality as the wiser way but at a dying hour he will find the difference O what a comfort then is the review of a Holy Heavenly well-spent life I have oft thought what the Reason is that among the Papists if the lives of their Saints be described in the highest strain or their books have even unreasonable pretensions of devotion even to the laying by of our understandings or to a kind of Deification like Barbansons Benedictus de Benedictis and divers others it doth not offend men but the vulger themselves do glory in the sancity of them Whereas if with us a man rise higher in holiness and in devote contemplation yea or action than others he is presently the great eye-sore and obloquy of the world I mean of the envious and ungodly part which is too great But the reason I perceive is that among the Papists to be a Religious man is to be a Perfectest who doth more than is commanded him or is neccesary to salvation and so the people being taught that they may be saved without being such themselves their spleen is not stirred up against them as the troubles of their Consciences peace but they are intressed in their honour and being the honour of their way and Church But with us men are taught that they must be Religious themselves in sincerity if ever they will be saved and that without Holiness none shall see God and that they are not sincere if they desire not to be perfect And so they that will not be godly themselves do think that the lives of the godly do condemn them I write not this to cast any disgrace on the true History of any holy mens lives Nor shall it ever be my employment to reproach or hide Gods Graces in any nor to make men believe that they are worse than they are Whoever revile me for it I will magnifie and love that of God which appeareth in any of his servants of any sect or party whatsover When I read such writings as old Gerson Guil. Parisinesies and divers others and such as Jos Accosta and some other Jesuits and such lives as Nerius's and Mr. de Reuti's c. I cannot but think that they had the spirit of God and the more do I hate all those mischievous engines additions and singularities which divide so many Christians in the world who have the same Spirit and will not suffer us to hold the unity of the spirit in the bond of of peace O unhappy pretended Wisdom and Oxthodoxness in the holding of our several opinions is the knowledge that puffeth up and hath bred the pernicious tympanite of the Church when it is Charity that edifieth it And the more men glory in their dogmatical knowledge to the contempt and hurt of such as differ from them the less they know as they ought to know And if any man have knowledge enough to kindle in his soul the Love of God the same is known and loved of God and then he will prove that wise man indeed at death and to Eternity 1 Cor. 8. 1 2 3. Reader Learn by this History to place thy Religion in love and praise and a heavenly life Learn to keep such communion with God and to find such employment with thy heart by meditation as thy strength and opertunity and other duties will allow thee for I urge thee to no more Learn hence to thirst after the good of souls and to fill up thy hours with fruitful duty And O that we could here learn the hardest lesson to get above the love of life and to overcome the fears of death and to long to see the glory of Christ and triumphantly to pass by Joy to Joy O blessed world of holy spirits whose nature and work and happiness is Love not Love of Carnal-self and Interest and Parties which here maketh those seek our destruction most who have the highest esteem of our knowledge and sincerity as thinking our dissent will most effectually cross their partial Interest But the Love of God in Himself and in his Saints checked by no sin hindred by no distance darkness deadness or disaffection diverted by no carnal worldly baits tempted by no persecutions or afflictions damped by no fears of death nor of any decaies or cessation through Eternity To teach me better how to live and die in Faith Hope ane Love is that for which I read this narrarive and that thou maist learn the same is the end of my commending it to thee The Lord teach it effectual to thee and me Amen RICHARD BAXTER August 28. 1672. To the Relations of Mr. James Janeway and the Survivors of his Associates in Kings Colledge in Cambridge Beloved Friends MY own mean esteem of the single weight of that Testimony expected from me concerning my dear Brother on the account of my intimacy with him in Kings Colledge the known me morable passages of whose exemplary life and death are now happily compiled and published for your special perusal moves me to call in a twofold recommendation thereof from you to those that knew him not who being confirmed in the truth of this Narrative may thereby be won to believe admire and emulate the signal grace of God in him 1. That remembring so much thereof your selves and what opportnity I had of knowing the certainty of all you would assure those who may enquire of you That the impartial compiler hath kept within the bounds of truth and sobriety in prosecution of his honest aims to advance the glory of Gods rich mercy to this chosen vessel and by reviving what remains he could collect of this burning as well as shining light alass how soon extinct to awaken and quicken the formal professors if he may not induce the
profane scoffers of this age to a more serious study and improvement of those invisible Realities the clear evidence and powerful influence whereof our good friend did so abundantly experience The truth is the Transcriber though best accomplished and most inwardly acquainted with what might conduce thereto doth and could not but fall short of declaring the transcendent excelencies of this sublime soul and precious Saint which till toward his end when his heart was too full to hold in what could be uttered were much concealed even to those who knew him best by reason of his great humility and modesty These disposed him rather to receive than communicate except where he had no expectations of the former and either familiar intercourse ingaged or the apprehended exigency of those his heart was drawn out to in Christian love and compassion constrained to the latter Yet many of those precious streams that did flow from him we must lament the loss of through default of careful rececivers or faithful retainers He was of clear intellectuals and a large heart both for craving and comprehending what was worthy his persuit which being happily improved by his education and timely seasoned with a spiritual savour of Gospel mysteries for obtaining of which he had then with others choise advantages was a great help to his proficiency in acquaintance with the vital exercises and soul satisfying enjoyment of the divine life above not only his equals but seniors and instructors He was much dissatisfied with himself under any decays or abatements till he could if not alone by imploring the assistance of Christian friends recover what he sometime had had such sweet experience of And not content with any attainments was still pressing on to what his prospect in the promises encouraged by his happy praelibations assured him was attainable He was to this end a chearful embracer and diligent improver of spiritual opportunities exact in his Christian watch much wrestling and very prevalent with God in prayer and with himself in his solitudes striving to disentangle his heart from what might diveri his holy ambition and to raise it to the highest activity and capacity for glorifying and enjoying God in Christ for the excellency of the knowledge of whom he accounted all inferiour attainments but loss What he had tasted and seen he was grieved to see others neglect desirous to bring others to experience by earnest commending them to God designing with himself and contriving with his spiritual confidence what might conduce thereto He had a true sympathy with those that were bound with him Heaven-ward Their pressures and conflicts were his burdens His prayers and counsels their ready assistants their refreshments his revivings and their spiritual proficiency his joy He was a secret and compassionate mourner as in general for the worlds degeneracy pretended Christians unthankfulness for the Gospel the hazards run by innumerable precious souls so especially for the dreadful apostacies of some the then threatning decay amd growing formality of others sometime seemingly forward which brought him nigher to God and more inflamed his holy zeal But this chiefly was carried out to advance the power of Religion in the family and persons he was peculiarly related to apprehending there to lie his best opportunities as well as strongest obligations And his success was very encouraging This is part of what I knew of him in Cambridge who refer you for farther reviewing your remembrance to the narrative But both his spiritual receipts and expences were much increased the two last years of his life when I had not opportunity of personal converse with him And by reason of our distance and at that time ignorance of his weak condition I was not so happy as to share in the priviledge of those who had the conveniencie of receiving his last and sweetest breath Though I soon after had the account while things were fresh in their memories and warm on their hearts from the eye and ear witnesses that some of them have now been induced to make more publick But next and chiefly 2. I intreat you to recommend the truth of this narrative by your faithful adhering to and diligent promoting of what some of you learned from him and others professed with him That by imitating his good example and improving his experiences with your longer opportunities you may be such proficients in Christianity as shining like lights your selves to hold forth the word of life for convincing the incredulous That the mysteries of regeneration a life of faith in Christ the fruitful emprovement of union and communion with him to a prospicuous conformity to him crucifixion to the world by his cross and a conversation with him in Heaven while on earth therein proposed herein exemplified be no figments but great realities no slight matters but of greatest consequence not such singularities but that others according to their measure taking the like course may be experimentally acquainted with the surpassing sweetness of an interest therein And the rather am I bold to intreat this of you because I was privy to his souls concern for the concernments of your souls How passionatly he desired to see Christ formed in you and rejoyced at any evidence thereof How earnestly he would pray for you all and especially for those he had more occasion to deal with or cause to be jealous of How affected he was with your dangers and snares And what a desire he had you might out-strip himself who could not take up his rest on this side Heaven The good Lord help every one of us to shew the same diligence to the full assureance of hope to the end that we may not be slothful but followers of them who by faith and patience inherit the promises I have one farther request that you would pursue by your most earnest supplications the design of publishing this narrative that God would make it prosperous to the pious ends therein proposed and for which I hope in his providence it is reserved now for publick view Especially that it may provoke to holy emulation not only those who were more peculiarly endeared to our pretious Friend by natural or spiritual bonds And that if any of these be fallen from their first love they may be excited to repent do their first works and strengthen the things that remain lest having begun in the spirit they wretchedly end in the flesh and draw back to perdition but also some at least of them that sueceed in the Chambers and Studies which sometime were sanctified with the word and prayer by those that singly and joyntly as Bhamber fellows and Colleagues earnestly implored the divine benediction on those two royal foundations he was member of That the God of the spirits of all flesh would make them fruitful nurseries of such as might be eminent instruments of Gods glory here and turning many to righteousness might shine as the stars for ever and ever Wherein you may expect the hearty concurrence of Your real Friend
Greek under the care of Mr. Langly When he was about eleven years old he took a great fancy to Arithmetick and the Hebrew tongue About this time his Parents removing into a little Village called Aspoden had the opportunity of having this their Son instructed by a learned neighbour who was pleased to count it a pleasant diversion to read Mathematicks to him being then about twelve years old and he made such progress in those profound studies that he read Oughthred with understanding before he was thirteen years old A person of quality hearing of the admirable proficiency of this Boy sent for him up to London and kept him with him for some time to Read Mathematicks to him that which made him the more to be admired was that he did what he did with the greatest facility He had no small skill in Musick and other concomitants of Mathematicks In the year 1646. he was chosen by that Learned Gentleman Mr. Rous the Provost of Eton Colledge one of the foundation of that Shool being examined by provost and posiers in the Hebrew tongue which was thought was beyond president Where he gave no unsuitable returns to the high expectations that were conceived of him After a little continuance at Eton he obtained leave of his Master to go to Oxford to perfect himself in the study of Mathematicks where being owned by that great Scholar Dr. Ward one of the Professors of the University he attained to a strange exactness in that study nothing being within the reach of a man but he would undertake and grasp That great Doctor gave him great help and incouragement and looked upon him as one of the wonders of his age loved him dearly and could for some time after his death scarce mention his name without tears When he had spent about a quarter of a year with Dr. Ward at Oxford he was commanded to return again to Eton where he soon gave proof of his great improvement of his time while he was absent by making an Almanack and calculating of the Eclipses for many years before hand so that by this time he had many eyes upon him as the glory of the School That which put an accent upon his real worth was that he did not discover the least affectation or self-conceit neither did any discernable pride attend these excelencies So that every one took more notice of his parts than himself At about seventeen years old he was chosen to Kings Colledge in Camebridge at which time the Electioners did even contend for the patronage of this Scholar He was chosed first that year and an elder brother of his in the sixth place but he was very willing to change places with his elder brother letting him have the first and thankfully accepting of the sixth place Besides his great learning and many other ornaments of nature his deportment was so sweet and lovely his demeanour so courteous and obliging even when he seemed unconverted that he must be vile with a witness that did not love him Yea many of them which had little kindness for morality much less for grace could not but speak well of him His great wisdom and learning did even command respect where they did not find it he had an excellent power over his passions and was in a great measure free from the vices which usually attend such an age and place But all this while it is to be feared that he understood little of the worth of Christ and his own soul he studied indeed the heavens and knew the motion of the Sun Moon and Stars but that was his highest he thought yet but little of God which made all these things he pried but little into the motions of his own heart he did not as yet much busie himself in the serious observation of the wandring of his spirit the Creature had not yet led him to the Creator but he was still too ready to take up with meer speculation but God who from all eternity had chosen him to be one of those who should shine as the Sun in the Firmament for ever in glory did when he was about eighteen years old shine in upon his soul with power and did convince him what a poor thing it was to know so much of the heavens and never come there And that the greatest knowledge in the world without Christ was but an empty dry business He now thought Mr. Bolten had some reason on his side when he said Give me the most magnificent glorious worldling that ever trod upon earthly mould richly crowned with all the Ornaments and excellencies of nature art policy preferment or what heart can wish besides yet without the life of grace to animate and ennoble them he were to the eye of heavenly wisdom but as a rotten carcase stuck over with flowers magnified dung guilded rottenness golden damnation He began now to be of Anaxagoras's mind that his work upon earth it was to study Heaven and to get thither and that except a man might be admitted to greater preferment than this world can bestow upon her favorites it were scarce worth while to be born CHAP. II. Of his Conversion with visible proofs thereof THE great work of Conversion it was not carried on upon his soul in that dreadful manner that it is upon some that God intends to communicate much to and make great use of but the Lord was pleased sweetly to unlock his heart by the exemplary life and Heavenly and powerful discourse of a young man in the Colledge whose heart God had inflamed with love to his soul he quickly made an attempt upon this hopeful young man and the spirit of God did set home his counsels with such power that they proved effectual for his awakening being accompanied with the Preaching of these two famous worthies Dr. Hill and Dr. Arrowsmith together with the reading several parts of Mr. Baxters Saints Everlasting Rest Now a mighty alteration might easily be descerned in him he quickly looks quite like another man He is now so much taken up with things above the Moon and Stars that he had little leisure to think of these things only as they pointed higher He began now not to tast so much sweetness in those kind of studies which he did so greedily imploy himself in formerly He now began to pity them which were curious in their inquiries after every thing but that which is most needful to be known Christ and Themselves and that which sometimes was his gain he now counted loss for Christ yea doubtless he esteemed all things but as dung and dross in comparison of Christ and desired to know nothing but Christ and him crucified Not that he looked upon humane learning as useless but when fixed below Christ and not improved for Christ he looked upon wisdom as folly and learning as madness and that which would make one more like the Devil more fit for his service and put a greater accent upon their misery in another world
how were the Children put upon getting choice Scripture and their Catechisms and ingaged in secret prayer and meditation Father Mother Brethren Sisters Boarders were the better for his excellent example and holy exhortations He was a good Nurse if not a spiritual Father to his natural Father as you may read afterwards and some of his Brethren have cause to bless God for ever that ever they saw his face and heard his words and observed his conversation which had so much of loveliness and beauty in it that it could not but commend Religion to any that did take notice of it He could speak in St. Pauls words brethren my hearts desire and prayer to God for you all is that you may be saved Read what his heart was in these following lines Distance of place cannot at all lessen that natural Bond whereby we are conjoyned in blood neither ought to lessen that of love Nay where true love is it cannot for love towards you I can only say this that I feel it better than I can express it as it is wont to be with all affections but love felt and not expressed is little worth I therefore desire to make my love manifest in the best way I can Let us look upon one another not as Brethren only but as Members of the same Body whereof Christ is the Head Happy day will that be wherein the Lord will discover that Union let us therefore breathe and hunger after this so that our closest knot may meet in Christ if we are in Christ and Christ in us then we shall be one with one another This I know you cannot complain for want of instruction God hath not been to us a dry Wilderness or a barren heath you have had Line upon Line and Precept upon Precept he hath planted you by the Rivers of Water it is the Lord alone indeed who maketh fruitful but yet we are not to stand still and do nothing There is a Crown worth seeking for seek therefore and that earnestly O seek by continual prayer keep your soul in a praying frame this is a great and necessary duty nay a high and precious priviledge If thou canst say nothing come and lay thy self in an humble manner before the Lord. You may believe me for I have through mercy experienced what I say There is more sweetness to be got in one glimpse of Gods love than in all that the world can afford O do but try O taste and see how good the Lord is Get into a corner and throw your self down before the Lord and beg of God to make you sensible of your lost undone state by nature and of the excellency and necessity of Christ Say Lord give me a broken heart soften melt me Any thing in the world so I may be but inabled to value Christ and be perswaded to accept of him as he is tendred in the Gospel O that I may be delivered from the wrath to come O a blessing for me even for me and resolve not to be content till the Lord have in some measure answered you O my bowels yern towards you my heart works O that you did but know with what affection I write now to you and what prayers and tears have been mingled with these lines The Lord set these things home and give you an heart to apply them to your self the Lord bless all the means that you enjoy for his blessing is all in all Give me leave to deal plainly and to come yet a little closer to you for I love your soul so well that I cannot bear the thoughts of the loss of it Know this that there is such a thing as the New birth and except a man be born again he cannot enter into the Kingdom of Heaven Gods favour is not to be recovered without it This New birth hath its Foundation laid in a sense of sin and a godly sorrow for it and a heart set against it without this there can be no Salvation Look well about you and see into your self and thou wilt see that thou art at Hells mouth without this first step and nothing but Free Grace and pure Mercy is between you and the state of the Devils The Lord deliver us from a secure careless heart Here you see a natural mans condition How darest thou then lye down in security O look about for your Souls sake What shall I say what shall I do to awaken your poor Soul I say again without repentance there is no remission and repentance it self may lose its labour if it be not in the right manner Then tears and groans and prayers will not do without Christ most when they are convinced of sin and are under fears of Hell run to duty and reform something and thus the wound is healed and by this thousands fall short of Heaven For if we be not brought off from our selves and our righteousness as well as our sins we are never like to be saved We must see an absolute need of a Christ and give our selves up to him and count all but dung and dross in comparison of Christs righteousness Look therefore for mercy only in Christ for his sake relye upon Gods mercy The terms of the Gospel are repent and believe gracious terms Mercy for fetching nay mercy for desiring nay for nothing but receiving Dost thou desire mercy and grace I know thou dost even this is the gift of God to desire hunger after Christ let desires put you upon endeavour the work it self is sweet yea repentance and mourning it self hath more sweetness in it than all the Worlds comforts Vpon repentance and believing comes Justification after this Sanctification by the Spirit dwelling in us By this we come to be the Children of God to be made partakers of the Divine Nature to lead new lives to have a suitableness to God It 's unworthy of a Christian to have such a narrow spirit as not to act for Christ with all ones heart and soul and strength and might Be not ashamed of Christ be not afraid of the frowns and jeers of the wicked Be sure to keep a Conscience void of offence and yield by no means to any known sin be much in prayer in secret prayer and in reading the Scriptures Therein are laid up the glorious Mysteries which are hid from many eyes My greatest desire is that God would work his own great work in you I desire to see you not as formerly but that the Lord would make me an instrument of your Souls good for which I greatly long CHAP. IV. His Particular Addresses to his Brethren for their Souls good and the success thereof HE wrote many Letters of this nature and desired oftentimes to be visiting his Brethren that he might particularly address himself to them and see what became of his Letters Prayers and Tears and he was very watchful over them ready to reprove and convince them of sin and ready to incourage any beginnings of a good work
in them To instance in a particular or two One time perceiving one of his Brothers asleep at Prayer in the Family he presently took occasion to show him what a high contempt it was of God what a little sense such a man must have of his own danger what dreadful hypocrisie what a Miracle of Patience that he was not awakened in flames After he had been a while affectionately pleading with him it pleased the Lord to strike in with some power and to melt and soften his Brothers heart when he was about eleven years old so that it was to be hoped that then the Lord began savingly to work upon the heart of that Child For from that time forward a considerable alteration might be discerned in him When he perceived it he was not a little pleased This put him upon carrying on the work that Conviction might not wear off till it ended in Conversion To this end he wrote to him to put him in mind of what God had done for his Soul begging of him not to rest satisfied till he knew what a thorow change and effectual calling meant I hope said he that God hath a good work to do in you for you and by you yea I hope he hath already begun it But O take not up with some beginnings faint desires lazy seekings O remember your former tears one may weep a little for sin and yet go to Hell for sin many that are under some such work shake of the sense of sin murder their Convictions and return again to folly O! take heed if any draw back the Lord will take no pleasure in them but I hope better things of you He would also observe how his Brethren carried it after Duty whether they seemed to run presently to the World with greediness as if Duty were a task or whether there seemed to be an abiding impression of God and the things of God upon them His vehement love and compassion to Souls may be further judged of by these following expressions which he used to one of his Relations After he had been speaking how infinitely it was below a Christian to pursue with greediness the things which will be but as gravel in the teeth if we mind not the rich provision which is in our Fathers House O what folly is it to trifle in the things of God! but I hope better things of you did I not hope why should I not mourn in secret for you as one cast out among the dead O what should I do for you but pour out my Soul like water and give my God no rest till he should graciously visit you with his Salvation till he cast you down and raise you up till he wound you and heal you again Thus what with his holy example warm and wise exhortations prayers tears and secret groans somewhat of the beauty of Religion was to be seen in the Family where he lived CHAP. V. His great love to and frequency in the duty of Prayers with remarkable success HE was mighty in Prayer and his spirit was oftentimes so transported in it that he forgot the weakness of his own body and of others spirits Indeed the acquaintance that he had with God was so sweet and his converse with him so frequent that when he was ingaged in duty he scarce knew how to leave that which was so delightful and suited to his spirit His constant course for some years was this He prayed at least three times a day in secret sometimes seven times twice a day in the Family or Colledge And he found the sweetness of it beyond imagination and enjoyed wonderful Communion with God and tasted much of the pleasantness of a Heavenly Life And he could say by experience that the ways of wisdom were ways of pleasantness and all her paths peace He knew what it was to wrestle with God and was come to that pass that he could scarce come off his knees without his Fathers blessing He was used to converse with God with a holy familiarity as a Friend and would upon all occasions run to him for advice and had many strange and immediate Answers of Prayer One of which I think it not altogether impertinent to give the World an account of His Honoured Father Mr. William Janeway Minister of Kelshall in Hartfordshire being sick and being under somewhat dark apprehensions as to the state of his Soul he would often say to his Son John O Son this passing upon Eternity is a great thing this dying is a solemn business and enough to make any ones heart ake that hath not his Pardon sealed and his Evidences for Heaven clear And truly Son I am under no small fears as to my own estate for another world O that God would clear his love O that I could say chearfully I can die and upon good grounds be able to look Death in the face and venture upon Eternity with well-grounded peace and comfort His sweet and dutiful Son made a suitable reply at present but seeing his dear Father continuing under despondings of spirit though no Christians that knew him but had a high esteem of him for his uprightness he got by himself and spent some time in wrestling with God upon his Fathers account earnestly begging of God that he would fill him with joy unspeakable in believing and that he would speedily give him some token for good that he might joyfully and honourably leave this world to go to a better After he was risen from his knees he came down to his sick Father and asked him how he felt himself His Father made no answer for some time but wept exceedingly a passion that he was not subject to and continued for some considerable time in an extraordinary passion of weeping so that he was not able to speak But at last having recovered himself with unspeakable joy he burst out into such expressions as these O Son now it is come it is come it is come I bless God I can die The Spirit of God hath witnessed with my spirit that I am his Child Now I can look up to God as my dear Father and Christ as my Redeemer I can now say this is my Friend and this is my Beloved My heart is full it is brim full I can hold no more I know now what that sentence means the Peace of God which passeth understanding I know now what that white stone is wherein a new name is written which none know but they which have it And that fit of weeping which you saw me in was a fit of over-powring love and joy so great that I could not for my heart contain my self neither can I express what glorious discoveries God hath made of himself unto me And had that joy been greater I question whether I could have born it and whether it would not have separated soul and body Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless his holy Name that hath pardoned all my sins
carry on the work that he had some hopes was well begun he laboured to build sure and build up that he might be rooted and grounded in the faith stedfast and unmoveable always abounding in the work of the Lord. Wherefore he followed him not only with private warnings and frequent patheticall counsels and directions but with letters one of which spoke in this language Another of his Letters of Private warning and Pathetical Counsel YOU live in a place where strict and close walking with God hath few or no examples and most are apt to be 〈◊〉 their company and Gods own children are too apt to forget their first love our hearts are apt to be careless and to neglect our watch we are ready to grow formal in duty or less spiritual and then it may be less frequent and Conscience is put off with some poor excuse and thus Religion withers and one that seemed once a zealot may come to be Laodicean and some that looked once as if they were eminent saints may fall to just nothing It 's too common to have a name to be alive and yet to be dead Read this and tremble lest it should be your case When we are lazy and asleep our adversary is awake when we are sloathful and negligent then he is diligent I consider your age I know where you dwell I am not unacquainted with your temptations Wherefore I cannot but be afraid of you lest by both inward and outward fire the bush be singed Though if God be in it it cannot be burnt up Give me leave to be in some measure fearful of you and jealous over you and to mind you of what you know already Principles of civility will be but as broken reeds to stay our souls upon without those higher principles which are planted in the soul by the working of the spirit of God O remember what meltings sometimes you have had remember how solicitously you did inquire after Christ how earnestly you seemed to ask the way to Zion with your face thitherward Oh take heed of losing those impressions you once had take not up with a sleight work True conversion is a great thing and another kind of business than most of the world take it to be O therefore be not satisfied with some convictions taking them for conversion much less with resting in a formal lifeless profession There is such a thing as being almost a Christian nay as drawing back unto perdition and some that are not far from the kingdom of Heaven may never come there Beware lest you lose the reward the promise is made to him that holdeth fast and holdeth out unto the end and overcometh Labour to forget what is behind and to press forward towards things that are before He that is contented with just grace enough to get to Heaven and escape Hell and desires no more may be sure he hath none at all is far from being made partaker of the divine nature Labour to know what it is To converse with God strive to do every thing as in His presence design Him in all act as one that stands within sight of the Grave and Eternity I say again do what you do as if you were sure God stood by and looked upon you and exactly observed and recorded every thought word and action and you may very well suppose that which cannot be otherwise Let 's awake and fall to our work in good earnest Heaven or Hell are before us and death behind us What do we mean to sleep dulness in Gods service is very uncomfortable and at the best will cost us dear and to be contented with such a frame is a certain symptom of a hypocrite O How will such tremble when God shall call them to give an account of their stewardship and tell them They may no longer be stewards Should they fall sick and the Devil and Conscience fall upon them what inconceivable perplexity would they then be in O live more upon invisibles and let the thoughts of their excellency put life into your performances You must be contented to be laughed at for preciseness and singularity A Christians walking is not with men but with God and he hath great cause to suspect his love to God who doth not delight more in conversing with God and being conformed to Him than in conversing with the world and being conformed to it How can the love of God dwell in that man who liveth without God in the world without both continual vvalking vvith him in his whole conversation and those more peculiar visits of him in prayer meditation spiritual ejaculations and other duties of Religion and the workings of faith love holy desires delight joy and spiritual sorrow in them Think not that our vvalking vvith God cannot consist vvith vvorldly business yes but Religion makes us spiritual in common actions and there is not any action in a mans life in vvhich a man is not to labour to make it a religious act by a looking to the Rule in it and eying of Gods glory and thus he may be said to vvalk vvith God To this vve must indeavour to rise and never be content till vve reach to it and if this seem tedious as to degenerate nature it vvill vve must know that vve have so much of enmity against God still remaining and are under depravation and darkness know not our true happiness Such a soul is sick and it hath lost its taste vvhich doth not perceive an incomparable sweetness in vvalking vvith God without whom all things else under Heaven are gall and bitterness and to be little valued by very true Christian But We are all apt even at the worst to say that we prefer God above all things But we must know that we have very deceitful hearts And those who being inlightned know for vvhat high ends they should act and vvhat a fearful condition even a hazard in our case is these I say will not believe their own hearts without diligent search and good grounds Rest not in any condition in which your security is not founded upon that sure bottom the Lord Jesus Christ Labour to attain to this to love God for himself and to have your heart naturalized suited to spiritual things O for a heart to rejoyce and work righteousness O that we could do the will of God with more activity delight and constancy If we did know more of God we should love him more and then God would still reveal more of Himself to us and then we should see more and more cause to love him and wonder that we love him no more O this this is our happiness To have a fuller sight of God to be wrapped up and filled with the love of Christ O let my soul for ever be thus imployed Lord whom have I in Heaven but thee and there is none in earth that I can desire in comparison of Thee You hear what kind of language he spake and you may easily
perceive what it was that swallowed up his heart and where his delight treasure and life was O How much do most of us who go for Christians fall short of these things and How vast a distance between his experience and ours and what reason have we to read these lines with blushing and to blot the paper with tears and to lay aside this book a while and to fall upon our faces before the Lord bemoan the cursed unsuitableness of our hearts unto God and to bewail that we do so little understand what this walking with God living by faith means O at what a rate do some Christians live and how low flat and dull are others His love to Christ and souls made him very desirous to spend and be spent in the work of the Ministry accordingly he did comply with the first loud and clear Call to preach the everlasting Gospel and though he was but about two and twenty years old yet he came to that work like one that understood what kind of employment Preaching was He was a workman that needed not to be ashamed that was throughly furnished for every good word and work one that was able to answer gainsayers one in whom the Word of God dwelt richly one full of the spirit and power one that hated sin with a perfect hatred and loved holiness with all his soul in whom Religion in its beauty did shine one that knew the terrors of the Lord and knew how to beseech sinners in Christs stead to be reconciled unto God One that was a Son of thunder and a Son of consolation In a word I may speak that of him which Paul spake of Timothy that I know none like-minded that did naturally care for souls And had he lived to have preached often O what use might such a man have been of in his generation one in whom learning and holiness did as it were strive which should excel He never preached publickly but twice and then he came to it as if he had been used to that work forty years delivering the Word of God with that power and Majesty with that tenderness and compassion with that readiness and freedom that it made his hearers almost amazed He was led into the Mysterie of the Gospel and he spoke nothing to others but what was the language of his heart and the fruit of great experience and which one might easily perceive had no small impression first upon his own spirit His first and last Sermons they were upon Communion and intimate converse with God out of Job 22. 21. A subject that few Christians under Heaven were better able to manage than himself and that scarce any could handle so feelingly as he for he did for some considerable time maintain such an intimate familiarity with God that he seemed to converse with Him as one friend doth converse with another This text he made some entrance into whilst he was here but the perfecting of his acquaintance with God was a work fitter for another world He was one that kept an exact watch over his thoughts words and actions and made a review of all that passed him at least once a day in a solemn manner He kept a Diary in which he did write down every evening what the frame of his spirit had been all the day long especially in every duty He took notice what incomes and profit he received in his spiritual traffique what returns from that far-country what answers of prayer what deadness and flatness and what observable providences did present themselves and the substance of what he had been doing and any wandrings of thoughts inordinancy in any passion which though the world could not discern he could It cannot be conceived by them which do not practise the same to what a good account did this return This made him to retain a grateful remembrance of mercy and to live in a constant admiring adoring of divine goodness this brought him to a very intimate acquaintance with his own heart this kept his spirit low and fitted him for freer communications from God this made him more lively and active this helped him to walk humbly with God this made him speak more affectionately experimentally to others of the things of God and in a word this left a sweet calm upon his spirits because he every night made even his accounts and if his sheets should prove his widing-sheet it had been all one for he could say his work was done so that death could not surprize him Could this book of his experiences and register of his actions have been read it might have contributed much to the compleating of this discourse the quickning of some and the comforting of others But these things being written in characters the world hath lost that jewel He studied the Scriptures much and they were sweeter to him than his food and he had an excellent faculty in opening the mind of God in dark places In the latter part of his life he seemed quite swallowed up with the thoughts of Christ Heaven and eternity and the neerer he came to this the more swift his motion was to it and the more unmixed his designs for it and he would much perswade others to an universal free respect to the glory of God in all things and making Religion ones business and not to mind these great things by the by CHAP. XII Ministers are not to carry on low designs HE was not a little concerned about Ministers that above all men They should take heed lest they carried on poor low designs instead of wholly-eying of the interest of God and souls He judged that to take up Preaching as a trade was altogether inconsistent with the high spirit of a true Gospel-Minister He desired that those which seemed to be devoted to the Ministry would be such first heartily to devote their All to God and then that they should indeavour to have a dear love to immortal souls He was very ready to debase himself and humbly to acknowledge what he found amiss in himself and laboured to amend himself and others This saith he I must seriously confess that I must needs reproach my self for deficiency in a Christian spiritual remembrance of you speaking to a dear friend and for a decay in a quick tender touch as of other things so of what relates to your self in the spirituality of it Not that I think not of you or of God but that my thoughts of you and spiritual things are not so frequent savoury and affectionate as they ought to be By this reflection you may easily perceive that I see further in duty than I do in practice The truth of it is I grudge that thoughts and affections should run out any whither freely but to God And what I now desire for my self I desire for you likewise that God would sweeten the fountain our natures I mean that every drop flowing from thence may savour of something of God within
Thoughts are pretious affections are more pretious the best that we are worth and when they flow in a wrong chanel all Goâ—s pretious dispensations towards us are lost all that God hath spent upon us is lost and spent in vanity I speak this out of a dear respect to your soul and Gods honour whom I am loth should be a loser by his kindnesses I know you have many objects upon which you may be too apt to let out your dear affections I say again my jealousie is lest there being so many chanels wherein they may run God lose his due I desire therefore in humility and tenderness that this may be as a hint to you from the spirit of God to look inwards to the frame and disposition of your soul and to make trial thereof by the natural out-goings of your affections and then expostulate the case with your own soul If Christ have my warmest love why is it thus with me If God have my heart why am I so thoughtful about the world If I indeed love him best How cometh it to pass that I find more strong delightful constant acting of my affections towards my Relations my self or any worldly thing than I do after him O the depth of the hearts deceitfulness Dear and Honoured Friend trust not a surmisal trust not to a slight view of your heart or the first apprehensions you may have of your self but go down into the secrets of your heart try and fear fear and try An Evidence is abundantly more worth than all the trouble that you can be at in the acquiring of it And the trouble that there is good ground for in an unevidenced state is far greater than that which may seem to be in searching for it Yea to an awakened soul what is the trouble in clearing its evidences but their sense or fear of their not being clear and of the deceitfulness of their hearts The reality of that evil which tender soules so dread doth lie in its full weight though not felt upon the drousie ungroundedly secure sinner I speak in love give me leave to remember you of some touches that you had formerly upon your spirit under the means of grace remember how much you were sometimes affected under Preaching Did you never say that these sermons upon hardness of heart softned yours Inquire I pray whether those convictions which were then upon your heart are not worn off by the incumbrances of the world If upon inquity you find that they are it 's high time for you to look about you and repent and not only to do your first works but to strive to outgo them I have vvith grief taken a review of the frame of my ovvn spirit vvhen I vvas at your house and I have no small sense of the distemper of my soul vvhereby I vvas betrayed to too great an indifference in the things of God and finding by sad experience that I vvas more apt amongst those carnal comforts and affairs to lose that rellish and savour of divine things that I vvas vvont to have and those delightful appearances of God vvhich I vvas through rich grace acquainted with while I was more sequestred from the world and earthly delights not but that I find my heart at the best under the highest advantages of closest communion too unwilling to endeavour after and maintain that gratious sense and acknowledgement of God which I would fain obtain unto I say observing mine own experiences and knowing that your heart was something akin to mine fearing lest multiplicity of business should expose you also to the same hazard Christian compassion could not but put me upon arming of you against those temptations to which your occasions make you subject The desire of my soul for you is that you may travel safely through a dangerous wilderness to a blessed Canaan that you may quit your self like a Christian in the opposing and conquering all your enemies and at last come triumphing out of the field and that you may behave your self like a Pilgrim and stranger in a far Country who are looking for a City that hath foundations and that we may meet together with joy at our Fathers house and sit down with him in eternal glory O that word glory is so weighty if we did believe it that it would make the greatest diligence we can use to secure it seem light O that far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory O for more faith Lord increase our faith and then there would be no thing wanting to make us put forth the utmost strength of our soul and to improve every moment of time to catch hold of all advantages and to make use of all means possible for the attainment of such glorious ends But O these unbelieving hearts let us join our complaints and let us all break forth into bitter lamentations over them May not we with as good reason as that distressed Father over his possessed Child bring our hearts into the presence of our Saviour and cry out with tears and say that it is these unbelieving hearts which sometimes cast us into the fire and sometimes into the water yea worse every time we forsake God and prefer any thing before him we part with life for death with Heaven for Hell Give me leave to come yet a little nearer to you What an advantage would a full perswasion of the truth and excellency of Gospel discoveries bring to your soul if you would but seriously and with all your strength drive on true spiritual designs O how easily might you then go under all your burdens If your care for the things of this world were but rightly subordinate to the things of eternity how chearfully might you go on with your business If you sought first the Kingdom of Heaven and the righteousness thereof then all other things would be added so far as they are necessary or good for you Let me therefore at this time put you upon that duty of raising your mind from Earth to Heaven from the Creature to the Creator from the VVorld to God Indeed it is a matter of no small difficulty to discover that disorder that is in our souls when we are solicitous about temporary objects and imployments But there are but few surer discoveries of it than insensibility and not complaining of it For when the soul is indeed raised to spiritual objects and to understand clearly its eternal interest when it doth in good earnest take God for its portion and prefer him above all then it will quickly be sensible of the souls outgoings after other objects and even grudge that any time should be taken up in the pursuit of the creature and that any below God should be followed with earnest pleasure and constancy It would have God have the best and it would do nothing else but love serve and injoy God For my own part I cannot but wonder that God will give us leave to love him O blessed goodness O infinite
condescension Those that believingly seek him he is not ashamed to be called their God I am sensible in some measure of your burdens and indeed that must needs be a burden that keeps the soul from pursuing its chiefest good My prayers for you are that you may have such teachings from God as may make you understand how far heavenly things are more pretious than earthly and that you may with all your might seek mind and love that which hath most of true excellency in it which hath the only ground of real comfort here and of eternal happiness hereafter CHAP. XIII His Love and Compassion to Souls HE was full of pity and compassion to souls and yet greatly grieved and ashamed that he did no more to express his sense of the worth of souls and that his bowels did no more sensibly yern over them who he had just cause to fear were in a Christless state Though there were few of his Kindred and Relations nay of his neighbours and acquaintance but he did make a personal application to either by letters or conference Yet for all this who more ready to cry out of want of love to souls and unprofitableness to others in his generation that he was no more full of compassion and that he made no better improvement of all the visits that he made in which we should not make carnal pleasure and recreation our end but the imparting receiving of some spiritual gift This made him after a considerable absence from a dear friend to groan out these complaints God by his providence hath off brought us together but to how little purpose God and our Consciences know As for my part I may justly bewail my barreness Oh that I should be of so little use where I come Oh that my tongue and heart should be still so unfruitful I am ready to hope sometimes that if it should please God in his providence to bring us again together we may be more profitable one to another And this indeed makes me more desirous of coming to you again than any thing else That I may do some good among you Oh how few study to advance the interest of Christ and the benefit of one anothers souls in their visits as they should and might do I am not able at present to order my affairs so as to come comfortably over to you but I hope e're long the Lord will give me leave to see you and be refreshed by you I desire to supply my absence by this sure token of my remembrance of you and also that I might have an opportunity for that which we ought to eye most in the injoyment of one anothers society But I have found that partly because of the narrowness of my heart not being inlarged to bring forth into act what I have greatly desired partly because of the malice of the Enemy of our souls who indeavours all that possible he can to lay stumbling blocks in our way to real union and nearer acquaintance with God and Christian communion from these and other causes it is that I have been too little beneficial to you for mercy It may be I may write that with freedom which in presence I should not have spoken I shall take occasion from your desire of my presence with you to look higher to the desires of our souls to be in conjunction and communion with the highest good who fills up all relations to our souls who is our Father our Husband our Friend our God yea our all in all But when I say He is all in all I mean more than that which we count all For every one doth confess that it is God alone that doth bless all other things to us and that it is not out of the nature of those things that we injoy that they are blessings but it is God which makes them comforts to us And thus God is to be acknowledged All in all common injoyment But besides this God is something to the soul which he is by himself and not in the mediation of the creatures where God is as a portion and lived upon as our true happiness He is not only the complement of other things but He himself is the souls sufficiency I am a little obscure I desire to be plainer I mean that through the dispensation of the Gospel God is to be lived upon delighted in and chosen before all for for this very end hath Christ appeared that he might make God approachable by man and that we who are a far off may be mad nigh There is a nearness to God which we are not only allowed but called to in the loving dispensations of the Gospel so that now we are not to be strangers any longer but friends we are to have fellowship and communion with God Why do not our hearts even leap for joy why do not our souls triumph in these discoveries of love Even because we know not the greatness of our priviledges the highness of our calling the excellency of our advancement the blessedness of this life the sweetness of these imployments the satisfaction of these injoyments the comfort of this heavenly life the delights of this communion with God We know not the things which belong to our peace and thus when God calls us to that which he sent his Son for when Christ offers us that which cost him so dear we with the greatest unworthiness the vilest ingratitude refuse slight and contemn it What think we doth it not go even to the heart of Christ and to speak after the manner of men doth it not grieve him to the soul to behold his greatest love scorned the end of his agony to be more vilely accounted of than the basest of our lusts Let us therefore according to that high calling wherewith we are called enter into a more intimate acquaintance with God and as we find our souls acting naturally towards those things which are naturally dear to us so let us strive to highten our spiritual affections We are very apt to look upon duties as burdens rather than priviledges and seasons of injoying the greatest refreshments but these apprehensions are very low and earthly O that we could at length set our selves to live a spiritual life to walk with God and out of a new nature to savour and rellish those things which are above Could we but really intensely believingly desire that which is real happiness and the Heaven of Heaven union and communion with God these desires would bring in some comfort As for me you must give me allowance to get my affections more emptied into God though it be with a diminution of love to you and blessed will that day be when all love will be fully swallowed up into God But spiritual love doth not destroy natural affections or relative obligations but perfect and rectifie them and so I may giving up my self to God be still yours CHAP. XIV His trouble at the Barrenness of Christians HE was
not a little troubled at the barrenness of Christians in their discourse and their not improving their society for the quickning and warming of their hearts the expence of pretious time unaccountably the ill management of visits and the impertinency of their talk he oft reflected upon with a holy indignation It vext him to the soul to see what prizes sometimes were put into the hands of Christians and how little skill and will they had to improve them for the building up one another in the most holy faith and that they who should be incouraging of one another in the way to Zion communicating of experiences and talking of their Country and of the glory of that Kingdom which the Saints are heirs of could satisfie themselves with empty common vain stuff as if Christ Heaven and Eternity were not things of as great worth as any thing else that usually sounds in the ears and comes from the lips of professors That the folly of common discourse among Christians might appear more and that he might discover how little such language did become those that profess themselves Israelites and that say they are Jews he once sate down silent and took out his pen and ink and wrote down in short-hand the discourses that passed for some time together amongst those which pretended to more than common understanding in the things of God and after a while he took his paper and read it to them and asked them whether such talk was such as they would be willing God should record This he did that he might shame them out of that usual unobserved unlamented unprofitable communication and fruitless squandring away that inestimable Jewel Opportunity Oh to spend an hour or two together and to hear scarce a word for Christ or that speaks peoples hearts in love with holiness Is not this writing a brave rational divine discourse Fie fie Where 's our love to God and souls all this while where 's our sense of the pretiousness of time of the greatness of our account Should we talk thus if we believed that we should hear of this again at the day of judgement And do we not know that we must give an account of every idle word Is this like those that understand the language of Canaan Did Saints in former times use their tongues to no better purpose Would Enoch David or Paul have talked thus Is this the sweetest communion of Saints upon earth How shall we do to spend eternity in speaking the praises of God if we cannot find matter for an hours discourse Doth not this speak aloud our hearts to be very empty of grace and that we have little sense of those spiritual and eternal concerns upon us As the barrenness and empty converse of Christians was a sin that he greatly bewailed so the want of love amongst Christians and their divisions did cost him many tears and groans he did what he could to heal all the breaches that he could by his tender prudent and Christian advice and counsel and if prayers tears intreaties counsels would prevail cement differences they should not long be open Nay if his letters would signifie any thing to make an amicable and Christian correspondencie it should not be wanting And because the wounds of division are yet bleeding I shall insert two healing Letters of his which speak what spirit he was of Which take as follows CHAP. XV. Two Letters to Cement differences and cause Love among Christians IT cannot be expected that wounds should be healed till their cause is removed that which moveth me to write to you at present and puts me upon intentions of writing again is That I may do my utmost by mouth and pen for the removal of that which is the cause of the inward grief and trouble of my soul and I am perswaded of others also as well as mine viz. those divisions that I could not but observe to be between your self and another Christian friend I hope after my asking counsel not only of my own heart but of God also he hath directed me to that which may be to his own glory and the good of your soul and not only for the removing of grief but the rejoycing of the hearts of them upon whom former divisions had any effect I therefore desire you to entertain these following lines as the issues of deep affection to your soul and the honour of Religion and I beseech you read them not only as from me who desire your good with the strength of my soul but as from God himself of whose love your good improvement will be a token That that end which I propose to my self I cannot but perswade my self you your self design commend and desire which is Christian charity that sweet meek Gospel spirit which is so highly and frequently commended by our Saviour to the practice of his Disciples O that where there hath been any breaches there might be the nearer union and that ye might be joyned together in the same spirit might keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace And for this end that you would remove all old hindrances watch continually lest you give and be careful not to take occasion of offence The necessity usefulness sweetness of true spiritual love appears by the word of Gods frequent urging of it by the sense of Christians the uncomfortableness and deformity of the contrary Now that you may in an unintermitted constancy injoy peace within and without and rejoyce my soul I desire you to joyn your own indeavours with the consideration of those things which I shall now and hereafter send to you First Consider that it is a Christians duty to go out of himself to lay down his own ends and interests and wholly to take upon him Gods cause to do all for God and to act as under God to be Gods instruments in our souls and bodies which are Gods Thus did God create man for His own glory and not that man should seek himself And when man fell he fell out of God into himself out of that divine order and composure of mind in which God had made him into confusion from a love of God into a corrupt self-love and self-seeking Now if we do but descend into our souls observe the actings intents and contrivances of them we cannot but observe how confusedly and abominably all work together for the pampering pleasing and advancing of self We are not to think that if we do not presently discover this in our selves that it is not so with us For in some degree it is in every one even in the truly regenerate as far as they have the relicks of corruption in them so far they have in their souls this self-love Now this disorder in our minds whereby they are taken off from their right ends is that very natural corruption and depravedness which we received from Adam and it is and to a spiritual sense ought to be worse than
have its proper effect upon us to make us to desire earnestly to be like our beloved When shall we put on his beauty O how lovely should we then look Let us put off that deformity that is upon our Souls which makes us so unlike to Christ yea which makes us loathsome in his Eyes Pride Passions Worldliness are those Soul-deformities which keep Christ at such a distance from us and which hinder his more sweet frequent and intimate converse with us It is only that of Himself which Christ seeth in us which he delighteth in For in Him is the perfection of all Beauty and excellency and whatsoever loveliness is in any thing else comes from him is like him and leads to him Would we know how much we are beloved of him let us see how much we are like him for He cannot but love that which is like himself and if we would be like him we must put on love for God is love and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and god in him 1 Joh. 4. 16. Thirdly If we ought to walk towards one another as members of the same body whereof Christ is the Head what can speak a closer union than commembership No man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it But we do not feel the power of this oneness as we ought to do We are many and where there is division there will be dissention that we may therefore be more one let us be more in putting off our self and going into Christ Here let us look into the loathsomness of our natures whilest off from God which is the cause of all this confusion and if we cannot see its deformity in its self let us see it in reflection in its bitter effects and when we see our own deformity we shall see less cause to love our selves and more cause to love others Let us look upon our oneness in Christ and see if we can thence become one in affections Christ saith I and the children which thou hast given me we have one spiritual Father we are brethren let us love as brethren The cause of this union is our being made partakers of Christs nature and baptized into the same spirit with him and if we have at any time experienced the more lively and full incomes of this spirit of Christ how did it set the heart on fire The soul is then too narrow to contain its own affections how dearly then could we look upon a Saint How did pride and wrath vanish and melt down into meekness humility and love Did we never experience what this meaneth Then let the remembrance of the sweetness of it renew it in us O a life of spiritual love is a life indeed a Heaven upon earth This is a good rule when vve find our selves in a spiritual temper let us examine our selves then and inquire how vve like such a frame Let us remember the Voice of the spirit in us and labour to have our judgment and affections always after so ballanced Fourthly Are vve members of Christ vve do not say vve do not love Christ If vve do indeed love Christ let us love him vvherever vve find Him Christ is in all those that are His. Let us fear offending Christ in his for vvhat is done to them He vvill take as done to himself It vvill be said in that great Day In as much as ye did it unto these ye did it unto me Let us think vvhat vve vvill of it at present the vvorld vvill find this true to their cost And if vve act as in Christ vve shall find our selves as much concerned for him as for our selves and more too Oh the vvrongs that are done to him vve shall reckon done to us If vve are Christs Christs interest vvill be ours and his injuries ours If vve are Christs vve vvill be as fearful of offending of any of his as of vvronging of our selves Christ himself is above the reach of our vvrongs to be touched by them in himself but in his Members he suffers to this very day If then Christ and vve are one and Christ and all his are one let us love Christ in his let us rejoice in Christ in his members let us indeavour to requite Christ in his members let us fear grieving the spirit of Christ in grieving the spirits of any of his dear ones Wound not Christ in vvounding the heart of his beloved O the pretiousness pleasure and profit of this love I beg of God to give you a full injoyment of that sweetness and the joyful fruits of it the Lord refresh you vvith a quick and constant sence and sight of his eternal love towards your soul to vvhich the assurance of true Christian love by the effectual vvork of the Comforter may bring you By this vve know that vve are passed from Death to Life because vve love the Brethren If it shall please the Lord to give me leave to see you again I shall come vvith strong expectations and earnest desires of seeing a sweet alteration for the better in you in your deportment and carriage towards one that did deserve better at your hands And vvhat an effect hopes of this nature frustrated vvill produce I beseech you to judge I pray God fill you vvith peace and joy My hand is vveary vvith vvriting but my mind still runs forth in desires and prayers for you I hope the Lord vvill take away all cause of vvriting any more of this subject unto you Your Letter gave me hopes of a good beginning I beseech the Lord to carry on vvhat he hath begun to the glory of his goodness that I may at every sight of you see more of the image of Christ in you and more of the power and beauty of this grace of love and that I may find you drawn nearer to Heaven and see you vvith Christ in Heaven vvhen time shall be no more I leave you in the Arms of Love John Janeway By all this you may easily perceive what spirit acted him and how much he was troubled for any divisions amongst the people of God Indeed he was of so loving and lovely a disposition that he even commanded the affections of most that knew him and so humble he was that he was ashamed to be loved for his own sake I can never forget a strang expression that I have heard from him concerning one that had a very ardent love for him I know this saith he that I love no love but what is purely for Christs sake would Christ might have all the love He alone deserves it for my part I am afraid and ashamed of the love and respects of Christians He saw so much pride peevishness and division amongst Professors that it did not a little vex his righteous Soul and made him think long to be in a sweeter Air where there should be nothing but union joy and love He could not indure to hear Christians speak reproachfully one of
the Glory of anothee world realized to sense His faith grew exceedingly and his love was proportionable and his joys were equal to both O the rare attainments The high and divine expressions that dropped from his mouth I have not words to express what a strange triumphant angelical frame he was in for some considerable time together It was a very Heaven upon earth to see and hear a man admiring God at such a rate as I never heard any nor ever expect to hear or see more till I come to Heaven Those that did not see cannot well conceive what a sweet frame he was in for at least six weeks before he died His soul was almost alwaies filled with those joys unspeakable and full of glory How oft vvould he cry out O that I could but let you know what I now feel O that I could show you what I see O that I could express the thousandth part of that sweetness that I now find in Christ You would all then think it well worth the while to make it your business to be religious O my dear friends we little think what a Christ is worth upon a death-bed I would not for a world nay for millions of worlds be now without a Christ and a pardon I would not for a world be to live any longer the very thoughts of a possibility of recovery makes me even tremble When one came to visit him and told him that he hoped it might please God to raise him again and that he had seen many a weaker man restored to health and that lived many a good year after And do you think to please me said he by such discourse as this No Friend you are much mistaken in me if you think that the thoughts of life and health and the world are pleasing to me The world hath quite lost its excellency in my judgement O how poor and contemptible a thing is it in all its glory compared with the glory of that invisible world which I now live in the sight of And as for life Christ is my life health and strength and I know I shall have another kind of life when I leave this I tell you it would incomparably more please me if you should say to me You are no man of this world you cannot possibly hold out long before to morrow you will be in eternity I till you I do so long to be with Christ that I could be contented to be cut apeices to be put to the most exquisite torments so I might but die and be with Christ O how sweet is Jesus Come Lord Jesus come quickly Death do thy worst Death hath lost his terribleness Death it is nothing I say Death is nothing through grace to me I can as easily die as shut my eyes or turn my head and sleep I long to be with Christ I long to die that was still his note His Mother and Brethen standing by him he said Dear Mother I beseech you as earnestly as ever I desired any thing of you in my life that you would cheerfully give me up to Christ I beseech you do not hinder me now I am going to rest and glory I am afraid of your prayers lest they pull one way and mine another And then turning to his Brethren he spake thus to them I charge you all do not pray for my life any more you do me wrong if you do O that glory the unspeakable glory that I behold My heart is full my heart is full Christ smiles and I cannot chose but smile can you find in your heart to stop me who am now going to the compleat and eternal injoyment of Christ Would you keep me from my Crown The arms of my blessed Saviour are open to imbrace me the Angels stand ready to carry my soul into his bosom O did you but see what I see you would all cry out with me how long dear Lord come Lord Jesus come quickly O why are his Chariot-wheels so long a coming And all this while he lay like a triumphing conqueror smiling and rejoicing in spirit There was never a day towards his end but as weak as he was he did some special piece of service in for his great Master Yea almost every hour did produce fresh wonders A Reverend Judicious and holy Minister came often to visit him and discoursed with him of the excellency of Christ and the glory of the invisible world Sir said he I feel something of it my heart is as full as it can hold in this lower state I can hold no more here O that I could but let you know what I feel This holy Minister praying with him his soul was ravished with the abundant incomes of light life and love so that he could scarce bear it nor the thought of staying any longer in the world but longed to be in such a condition wherein he should have yet more grace and more comfort and be better able to bear that weight of glory some manifestations whereof did even almost sink his weak body had he not been sustained by a great power his very joys would have overwhelmed him and whilst he was in these extasies of joy and love he was wont to cry out Who am I Lord who am I that thou shouldst be mindful of me Why me Lord why me and pass by thousands look upon such a wretch as me O what shall I say unto thee O thou preserver of men O why me Lord why me O blessed and for ever blessed be free grace How is it Lord that thou shouldst manifest thy self unto me and not unto others even so Father because it seemeth good in thy eyes Thou wilt have mercy because thou wilt have mercy And if thou wilt look upon such a poor worm who can hinder Who would not love thee O blessed Father O how sweet and gratious hast thou been unto me O that he should have me in his thoughts of love before the foundations of the world And thus he went on admiring and adoring of God in a more high and heavenly manner than I can clothe with words Suppose what you can on this side Heaven and I am perswaded you might have seen it in him He was wonderfully taken with the goodness of God to him in sending that aged experienced Minister to help him in his last great work upon earth Who am I said he that God should send to me a messenger one among a thousand meaning that Minister who had been praying with him with tears of joy Though he was towards his end most commonly â—n a triumphant joyful frame yet sometimes even then he had some small intermissions in which he would cry out Hold out faith and 〈◊〉 et a little while and your work is done And when he found not his heart wound up to the highest pitch of thankfulness admiration and Love he would with great sorrow bemoan himself and cry out in this Language And vvhat 's the matter now
and desired that she might be in travail to see Christ formed in the souls of the rest of her Children and see of the travail of her soul and meet them with joy in that great day Then He charged all his Brethren and Sisters in general as they would answer it before God that they should carry it dutiful to their dear Mother As for his eldest Brother William at whose house he lay sick his prayer vvas that he might be swallowed up of Christ and Love to souls and be more and more exemplary in his life and successful in his Ministry and finish his course vvith joy His next Brothers name vvas Andrew a Citizen of London who was with him and saw him in this triumphing state but his necessary business calling him away he could not then be by yet he vvas not forgot but he was thus blessed The God of Heaven remember my poor Brother at London The Lord make him truly rich in giving him the Pearl of great price and make him a Fellow-Citizen with the Saints and of the House-hold of God the Lord deliver him from the sins of that City may the world be kept out of his heart and Christ dwell there O that he may be as his name is a strong man and that I may meet him with Joy Then he called his next Brother whose name was James whom he hoped God had made him a spiritual Father to to whom he thus addressed himself Brother James I hope the Lord hath given thee a goodly heritage the lines are fallen to thee in pleasant places the Lord is thy portion I hope the Lord hath shewed thee the worth of a Christ Hold on dear Brother Christ Heaven and Glory are worth striving for The Lord give thee more abundance of his grace Then His next Brother Abraham was called to whom he spake to this purpose The blessing of the God of Abraham rest upon thee the Lord make thee a Father of many spiritual Children His fifth Brother was Joseph whom he blessed in this manner Let him bless thee O Joseph that blessed him that was separated from his Brothren O that his everlasting Arms may take hold on thee It is enough if yet thou mayest live in his sight My heart hath been working towards thee poor Joseph and I am not without hopes that the Arms of the Almighty will mbrace thee The God of thy Father bless thee with the blessings of Heaven above The next was his Sister Mary to whom he spoke thus Poor Sister Mary thy body is weak and thy daies will be filled with bitterness thy name is Marah the Lord sweeten all with his Grace and Peace and give thee health in thy Soul Be patient and make sure of Christ and all is well Then His other Sister whose name was Sarah was called whom he thus blessed Sister Sarah thy body is strong and healthful O that thy Soul may be so too The Lord make thee first a wise Virgin and then a Mother in Israel a pattren of Modesty Humility and Holiness Then another Brother Jacob was called whom he blessed after this manner The Lord make thee an Israelite indeed in whom there in no guile O that thou maist learn to wrestle with God and like a Prince maist prevail and not go without the blessing Then he prayed for his youngest Brother Benjamin who was then but an Infant Poor little Benjamin O that the Father of the Fatherless would take care of thee poor Child that thou which never sawest thy Father upon Earth maiest see him with joy in Heaven the Lord be thy Father and Portion maist thou prove the Son of thy Mothers right Hand and the joy of her Age O that none of us all may be found amongst the unconverted in the day of Judgment O that every one of us may appear with our Honoured Father and dear Mother before Christ with joy that they may say Lord here are we and the Children which thou hast gratiously given us O that we may live to God here and live with him hereafter And now my dear Mother Brethren and Sisters Farewel I leave you for a while and I commend you to God and to the word of his grace which is able to build you up and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified And now dear Lord my work is done I have finished my Course I have fought the good Fight and henceforth there remaineth for me a Crown of Righteousness Now come dear Lord Jesus come quickly Then that Godly Minister came to give him his last visit and to do the office of an inferiour Angel to help to convey this blessed soul to Glory who was now even upon Mount Pisga and had a full sight of that goodly Land at a little distance When this Minister spake to him his heart was in a mighty flame of Love and Joy which drew tears of Joy from that pretious Minister being almost amazed to hear a man just a dying talk as if he had been with Jesus and came from the immediate presence of God ` O the smiles that were then in his Face and the unspeakable Joy that was in his Heart one might have read Grace and Glory in such a mans Countenance O the praise the triumphant praises that he put up And every one must speak praise about him or else they did make some jar in his Harmony And indeed most did as well as they could help him in praise So that I never heard nor knew more praises given to God in one Room than in his Chamber A little before he died in the Prayer or rather Praises he was so wrapped up with admiration and joy that he could scarce forbear shouting for joy In the conclusion of the Duty with abundance of Faith and fervency he said aloud Amen Amen! And now his desires shall soon be satisfied He seeth Death coming apace to do his office his jaws are loosened more and more and quiver greatly his Hands and Feet are as cold as clay and a cold sweat is upon him but O how glad was he when he felt his Spirit just agoing Never was Death more welcom to any mortal I think Though the pangs of Death where strong yet that far-more-exceeding and Eternal weight of Glory made him indure those bitter paines with much patience and courage In the extremity of his pains he desired his eldest Brother to lay him a little lower and to take away one Pillow from him that he might die with the more ease His Brother replied that he durst not for a world do any thing that might hasten his Death a moment Then he was vvell satisfied and did sweetly resign himself up vvholly to Gods disposal and after a few minutes vvith a sudden motion gathering up all his strength he gave himself a little turne on one side and in the twinkling of an eye departed to the Lord sleeping in Jesus And now blessed soul thy longings are satisfied and thou