shall doe Val. But now I think on 't we must part agen sir Ric. Agen Val. You 'r in debt and I in doubt of all Left my self nothing too we must not hold Want on both sides makes all affection cold I shall not keep you from that Gentleman You 'l be his more then mine and when he list He 'l make you lye from me in some soure prison Then let him take you now for altogether sir For he that 's mine shall be all mine or nothing Ric. I never felt the evill of my debts Till this afflicting minute 2 Suter I le be mad once in my daies I have enough to cure me and I will have my humour they 'r now but desperate debts agen I nev'r look for 'em And ever since I knew what malice was I alwaies held it sweeter to sow mischief Than to receive money 't is the finer pleasure I le give him in his bonds as 't were in pitty To make the match and bring 'em both to beggary Then will they nev'r agree that 's a sure point He 'l give her a black eye within these three daies Beat half her teeth out by Alhall outide And break the little houshold-stuffe they have With throwing at one another O sweet sport Come Widow come I le try your honestie Here to my honey y'have made many proffers I fear they 'r all but tricks here are his debts Gentlemen How I came by 'em I know best my self Take him before us faithfully for your husband And he shall tear 'em all before your face Widow Val. Else may all faith refuse me 2 Suter Tear 'em honey 'T is firm in Law a consideration given What with thy teeth thou l't shortly tear her so That 's all my hope thou d'st never had 'em else I 've enough and I will have my humour Ric. I 'm now at liberty Widow Val. I le be so too And then I come to thee give me this from you Brother Bra. Hold Sister Sister Val. Look you the deed of gift sir I 'm as free He that has me has all and thou art he 1. 2. How 's that Val. Y' ar bob'd 't was but a deed in trust And all to prove thee whom I have found most just Bra. I 'm bob'd among the rest too I 'd have sworn T 'had been a thing for me and my heirs for ever If I 'd but got it up to the black box above I had been past redemption 1 Suter How am I cheated 2 Suter I hope you 'l have the conscience now to pay me sir Ric. Oh wicked man sower of strife and envy open not thy lips 2 Suter How how 's this Ric. Thou hast no charge at all no child of thine own But two thou got'st once of a scowring woman And they are both well provided for thei 'r i' th hospitall Thou hast ten thousand pound to bury thee Hang thy self when thou wilt a slave goe with thee 2 Suter I 'm gone my goodness comes all out together Enter Violentta I have enough but I have not my humour Viol. O Master Gentlemen and you sweet Widow I think you are no forwarder yet I know not If ever you be sure to laugh agen Now is the time Val. Why what 's the matter wench Viol. Ha ha ha Bra. Speak speak Viol. Ha a marriage a marriage I cannot tel 't for laughing ha ha Bra. A marriage doe you make that a laughing matter Enter Francisco and Ansaldo Viol. Ha I and you 'l make it so when you know all Here they come here they come one man married to an other Val. How man to man Viol. I man to man y'faith Ther'l be good sport at night to bring 'em both to bed Doe you see 'em now ha ha ha 1 Suter My daughter Martia Ans. Oh my Father your love and pardon sir Val. 'T is she indeed Gentlemen Ans. I have been disobedient I confess Unto your mind and Heaven has punished me With much affliction since I fled your sight But finding reconcilement from above In peace of heart the next I hopes your love 1 Suter I cannot but forgive thee now I see thee Thou fledst a happy fortune of an old man But Francisco's of a noble family Though he be somewhat spent Fra. I lov'd her not sir As she was yours for I protest I knew 't not But for her self sir and her own deserving Which had you been as foul as y 'ave been spightfull I should have lov'd in her 1 Suter Well hold your prating sir Y' ar not like to loose by 't Phil. Oh Violetta who shall laugh at us now Viol. The child unborn Mistris Ans. Be good Fra. Be honest Ans. Heav'n will not let you sin and you 'ld be carefull Fra. What means it sends to help you think and mend You 'r as much bound as we to praise that frend Phil. I am so and I will so Ans. Marry you speedily Children tame you you 'l die like a wild beast els Viol. I by my troth should I I 've much adoe to forbear Laughing now more 's my hard fortune Enter Martino Mar. O Master Mistris and you gentles all To horse to horse presently if you mean to doe your Country any service Bra. Art not asham'd Martino to talk of horsing so openly Before young married couples thus Mar. It do's concern the Common-wealth and me And you Master and all the Theeves are taken Ans. What sai'st Martino Mar. Law here 's Common-wealths-men The man of art Master that cupt your eyes Is prov'd an arrant rascall and his man That drew my tooth an excellent purse-drawer I felt no pain in that it went insensibly Such notable villanies confest Bra. Stop there sir Wee 'l have time for them Come gentle-folks Take a slight meal with us but the best cheer Is perfect joy and that we wish all here Exeunt Prologue A Sport only for Christmas is the Play This hour presents t' you to make you merry Is all th' ambition 'thas and fullest aym Bent at your smiles to win it self a name And if you edge be not quite taken off Wearied with sports I hope 't will make you laugh Epilogue STay stay Sir I 'm as hungry of my Widdow As you can be upon your Maid beleeve it But we must come to our desires in order There 's duties to be paid e'r we goe further Hee that without your likings leaves this place Is like one falls to meat and forgets grace And that 's not hansome trust me no Our rights being paid and your loves understood My Widow and my meat then do's me good I ha' no money Wench I told thee true For my report pray let her hear 't from you FINIS
to have a rich Widow set him up agen to see how fortune has provided for all mortalities ruins your College for your old standing Scholer your Hospitall for your lame creeping Souldier your Baud for your mangled Rorer your open house for your Beggar and your Widow for your Gentleman ha Francisco Fra. I Sir you may be merry you 'r in hope of a rich Widow Ric. And why shouldst not thou be in hope of an other if there were any spirit in thee thou art as likely a fellow as any is in the company I le be hang'd now if I doe not hit the true cause of thy sadness and confess truly y'faith thou hast some land unsold yet I hold my life Fra. Mary I hope so Sir Ric. A Pox on t have I found it 'slight away with 't with all speed man I was never merry at heart while I had a foot why man Fortune never minds us till we are left alone to our selves for what need she take care for them that doe nothing but take care for themselves why do'st think if I had kept my lands still I should ever have look'd after a rich Widow alas I should have married some poor young Maid got five and twenty children and undone my self Fra. I protest Sir I should not have the face though to come to a rich Widow with nothing Ric. Why art thou so simple as thou mak'st thy self do'st think y'faith I come to a rich Widow with nothing Fra. I mean with state not answerable to hers Ric. Why ther 's the fortune man that I talkd on She knows all this and yet I am welcome to her Fra. I that 's strange Sir Ric. Nay more to pierce thy hard heart and make thee sell thy land if thou 'st any grace she has 'mongst others two substantiall Suters One in good time bee 't spoke I owe much money to She knows this too and yet I 'm welcome to her Nor dares the unconscionable Rascall trouble me Sh 'as told him thus those that profess love to her Shall have the libertie to come and goe Or else get him gone first she knows not yet Where fortune may bestow her she 's her gift Therefore to all will shew a kind respect Fra. Why this is like a woman I ha' no luck in 't Ric. And as at a Sheriffs table O blest custome A poor indebted Gentleman may dine Feed well and without fear and depart so So to her lips fearless I come and goe Fra. You may well boast y' ar much the happier man Sir Ric. So you would be and you would sell your land Sir Fra. I have heard the circumstance of your sweet fortunes Prethee give ear to my unlucky tale now Ric. That 's an ill hearing but come on for once Sir Fra. I never yet lov'd but one Woman Ric. Right I begun so too but I have lov'd a thousand since Fra. Pray hear me Sir but this is a mans wife Ric. So has five hundred of my thousand been Fra. Nay see and you 'l regard me Ric. No you see I doe I bring you an example in for every thing Fra. This mans wife Ric. So you said Fra. Seems very strict Ric. Ha humh Fra. Doe you laugh at that Ric. Seems very strict you said I hear you man y'faith you are so jealous still Fra. But why should that make you laugh Ric. Because she seems so you 'r such an other Fra. Nay Sir I think she is Ric. You cannot tell then Fra. I dare not aske the question I protest For fear of a repulse which yet not having My mind 's the quieter and I live in hope still Ric. Ha hum this 't is to be a landed man Come I perceive I must show you a little of my fortune and instruct you Not aske the question Fra. Me thought still she fround Sir Ric. Why that 's the cause fool that she look'd so scurvily Come come make me your woman you 'l ne'r do 't else I le shew you her condition presently I perceive you must begin like a young Vaulter and get up at horse-tail before you get into the saddle have you the boldness to utter your mind to me now being but in hose and doublet I think if I should put on a Farthingale thou wouldest never have the heart to do 't Fra. Perhaps I should not then for laughing at you Sir Ric. In the mean time I fear I shall laugh at thee without one Fra. Nay you must think friend I dare speak to a woman Ric. You shall pardon me for that friend I will not think it till I see 't Fra. Why you shall then I shal be glad to learn too Of one so deep as you are Ric. So you may Sir Now 't is my best course to look mildly I shall put him out at first else Fra. A word sweet Lady Ric. With me Sir say your pleasure Fra. O Ricardo Thou art too good to be a woman long Ric. Doe not find fault with this for fear I prove Too scornfull be content when y' ar well us'd Fra. You say well Sir Lady I have lov'd you long Ric. 'T is a good hearing Sir If he be not out now I le be hang'd Fra. You play a scornefull woman I perceive Ricardo You have not been us'd to 'em why I le come in at my pleasure with you alas 't is nothing for a man to talk when a woman gives way too 't one shall seldome meet with a Lady so kind as thou playdst her Ric. Not altogether perhaps he that draws their pictures must flatter 'em a little they 'l look he that plays 'em should doo 't a great deal then Fra. Come come I le play the woman that I 'm us'd too I see you ne'r wore shooe that pincht you yet All your things comes on easie Ric. Say you so Sir I le try your Ladiship 'faith Lady well met Fra. I doe not think so Sir Ric. A scornefull Gom And at the first dash too my Widow never gave me such an answer I le to you agen Sir Fairest of creatures I doe love thee infinitely Fra. Ther 's no body bids you Sir Ric. Pox on thee thou art the beastliest crossest Baggage that ever man met withall but I le see thee hang'd sweet Lady ere I be daunted with this why thou' rt too awkward Sirha Fra. Hang thee base fellow Ric. Now by this light he thinks he do'st indeed Nay then have at your plumb-tree faith I le not be foild Though you seem to be careless Madam as you have enough wherwith all to be yet I doe must and will love you Fra. Sir if you begin to be rude I le call my woman Ric. What a pestilent Queans this I shall have much adoe with her I see that tell me as y' ar a woman Lady what serve kisses for but to stop all your mouths Fra. Hold hold Ricardo Ric. Disgrace me VVidow Fra. Ait mad I 'm Francisco Atta. Signior Ricardo up up Ric. VVho is 't
seems though it look fairer Heaven send me one that loves me and I 'm happy Of whom I le make great tryall ere I have him Though I speak all men fair and promise sweetly I learn that of my Suitors 't is their own Therefore injustice 't were to keep it from 'em Enter RICARDO Ric. And so as I said sweet Widow Val. Doe you begin where you left Sir Ric. I alwaies desire when I come to a Window to begin i' th' middle of a sentence for I presume she has a bad memory of a woman that cannot remember what goes before Val. Stay stay Sir let me look upon you well Are not you painted too Ric. How painted Widow Val. Not painted Widow I doe not use it trust me Sir Ric. That makes me love thee Val. I mean painted Gentleman Or if you please to give him a greater stile Sir Blame me not Sir it s a dangerous age I tell you Poor simple dealing women had need look about 'em Ric. But is there such a fellow in the world Widow As you are pleas'd to talk on Val. Nay here lately Sir Ric. Here a Pox I think I smell him 't is Vermillion sure ha oil of Ben doe but show him me Widow and let me never hope for comfort if I doe not immediatly gueld him and grind his face upon one o' th' stones Val. Suffices y'have exprest me your love and valour and manly hate against that unmanly pride but Sir I le save you that labour he never comes within my dore agen Ric. I le love your dore the better while I know 't Widow a pair of such Brothers were fitter for Postes without dore indeed to make a shew at a new-chosen Magistrates gate than to be us'd in a Womans Chamber No sweet Widow having me y'have the truth of a man all that you see of me is full mine own and what you see or not see shall be yours I ever hated to be beholding to art or to borrow any thing but money Francisco and Attilio stand unseen Val. True and that you never use to pay agen Ric. What matter i' st if you be pleas'd to do 't For me I hold it as good Val. Oh soft you Sir I pray Ric. Why yfaith you may and you will Val. I know that Sir Ric. Troth and I would have my will then if I were as you Ther 's few women else but has Val. But since I cannot hav 't in all Signior I care not to have it in any thing Ric. Why you may hav 't in all and you will Widow Val. Pish I would have one that loves me for my self Sir Not for my wealth and that I cannot have Ric. What say you to him that do's the thing you wish for Val. Why here 's my hand I le marry none but him then Ric. Your hand and faith Val. My hand and faith Ric. 'T is I then Val. I shal be glad on 't trust me shrew my heart else Ric. A match Enter Francisco and Attilio Fra. Give you joy sweet Widow At. Joy to you both Val. How Ric. Nay ther 's no starting now I have you fast Widow You 'r witness Gentlemen Fra. Att. Wee 'l be depos'd on 't Val. Am I betraid to this then then I see 'T is for my wealth a womans wealth 's her Traitour Ric. 'T is for love chiefly I protest sweet Widow I count wealth but a fiddle to make us merry Val. Hence Ric. Why thou' rt mine Val. I doe renounce it utterly Ric. Have I not hand and faith Val. Sir take your course Ric. With all my heart ten courses and you will Widow Val. Sir Sir I 'm not so gamesome as you think me I le stand you out by law Ric. By Law O cruell merciless woman To talk of law and know I have no money Val. I will consume my self to the last stamp Before thou gett'st me Ric. Life I le be as wilfull then too I le rob all the Carriers in Christendome but I le have thee and find my Lawyers money I scorn to get thee under forma pauperis I have too proud a heart and love thee better Val. As for you Gentlemen I le take course against you You came into my house without my leave Your practices are cunning and deceitfull I know you not and I hope law will right me Ric. It is sufficient that your husband knows 'em 'T is not your business to know every man An honest wife contents her self with one Val. You know what you shall trust to pray depart Sir And take your rude confederates along with you Or I will send for those shall force your absence I 'm glad I found your purpose out so soon How quickly may poor women be undone Ric. Lose thee by this hand I le fee fifteen Counsellours first though I undoe a hundred poor men for 'em and I le make 'em yaul one an other deaf but I le have thee Val. Me Ric. Thee Val. I fret thy heart out Exit Fra. Were I he now I l'd see thee starve for man before I had thee Val. Pray counsell him to that Sir and I le pay you well Fra. Pay me pay your next husband Val. Doe not scorn 't gallant a worse woman than I Has paid a better man than you Enter two old Suiters 1 Why how now sweet Widow Val. Oh kind Gentlemen I am so abus'd here Ambo Abus'd Val. What will you doe Sirs put up your weapons 2 Suiter Nay they 'r not so easily drawn that I must tell you you mine has not been out this three ears mary in your cause Widow 't would not be long a drawing Abus'd by whom Widow Val. Nay by a begger 2 Suiter A begger I le have him whipt then and sent to the house of Correction Val. Ricardo Sir 2 Suiter Ricardo nay by 'th' masse he 's a Gentleman begger he 'l be hang'd before he be whipt Why you 'l give me leave to clap him up I hope Val. 'T is too good for him that 's the thing he would have He would be clapt up whether I would or no methinks Plac'd two of his companions privatly Unknown to me on purpose to entrap me In my kind answers and at last stole from me That which I fear will put me to some trouble A kind of verball curtesie which his witnesses And he forsooth call by the name of contract 1 Suiter O politick villain Val. But I am resolv'd Gentlemen If the whole power of my estate can cast him He never shall obtain me 2 Suiter Hold you there Widow Well fare your heart for that y'faith 1 Suiter Stay stay stay You broke no gold between you Val. We broke nothing Sir 1 Suiter Nor drunck to one an other Val. Not a drop Sir 1 Suiter Y' ar sure of this you speak Val. Most certain Sir 1 Suiter Be of good comfort wench I le undertake then At mine own charge to overthrow him for thee Val. O doe but that Sir and you
loves only for shape as most on 's doe But I must have him wise as well as proper He comes not in my Books else and indeed I have thought upon a course to try his wit Violetta Viol. Mistrisse Phil. Yonder 's the Gentleman agen Viol. Oh sweet Mistrisse Pray give me leave to see him Phil. Nay take heed Open not the window and you love me Viol. No I 've the view of whole body here Mistrisse At this pore little slit oh enough enough In troth 't is a fine out-side Phil. I see that Viol. Has curld his hair most judiciously well Phil. I ther 's thy love now it begins in barbarism she buys a Goose with feathers that loves a Gentleman for 's hair she may be cozend to her face Wench Away he takes his leave Reach me that letter hither quick quick Wench Mar. Nay look upon 't and spare not every one cannot get that kind of Warrant from me Signior Doe you see this prick i' th bottom it betokens powr and speed it is a privy mark that runs betwixt the Constables and my Mr. Those that cannot read when they see this know 't is for Leacherie or Murder and this being away the Warrant comes gelded and insufficient Fra. I thank you Sir Mar. Look you all these are Nihils They want the punction Fra. Yes I see they doe Sir Ther 's for thy pains mine must goe unrewarded The better love the worse by fate regarded Exit Mar. Well goe thy wayes for the sweetest Costomer that ever Penman was blest withall now will he come for an other to morrow agen if he hold on this course he will leave never a knave i' th town within this twelve month no matter I shal be rich enough by that time Phil. Martino Mar. Say you forsooth Phil. What paper 's that the Gentleman let fall there Mar. Paper T is the Warrant I hope if it be I le hide it and make him pay for 't agen No Pox 't is not so happy Phil. What i' st Sirrah Mar. 'T is nothing but a letter forsooth Phil. Is that nothing Mar. Nothing in respect of a Warrant Mistriss Phil. A letter why 'tas been many a mans undoing Sir Mar. So has a Warrant and you goe to that Mistriss Phil, Read but the superscription and away with 't Alas it may concern the Gentleman neerly Mar. Why Mistriss this letter is at home already Phil. At home how mean your Sir Mar. You shall hear Mistriss To the deservingst of all her Sex and most worthie of his best respect and love Mrs. Philippa Brandino Phil. How Sir to me Mar. To you Mistriss Phil. Run as thou lov'st my honour and thy life Call him agen I le not endure this injury But stay stay now I think on 't 't is my credit I le have your Masters Counsell ah base fellow To leave his loose lines thus 't is even as much As a poor honest Gentlewomans undoing Had I not a grave wiseman to my Husband And thou a vigilant varlet to admit Thou car'st not whom Mar. 'Las 't is my office Mistriss You know you have a Kirtle every year And 't is within two months of the time now The velvets comming over pray be milder a man that has a place must take money of any body please you to throw me down but half a dollar and I le make you a warrant for him now that 's all I care for him Phil. Well look you be cleer now from this foul conspiracie Against mine honour or your Masters love to you That makes you stout shall not maintain you here It shall not trust to 't Exit Mar. This is strange to me now Dare she doe this and but eight weeks to New-years tide A man that had his blood as hot as hers now would fit her with French Velvet I le goe neer it Phil. If this be a wrong to modest reputation Enter Brandino the Justice and Philippa Be you the censurer Sir that are the Master Both of your fame and mine Bran. Signior Francisco I le make him fly the land Mar. That will be hard Sir I think he be not so well feather'd Master H 'as spent the best part of his patrimonie Phil. Hark of his bold confederate Bran. There thour' t bitter And I must chide thee now Phil. What should I think Sir He comes to your man for Warrants Brand. There it goes then Come hither knave Comes he to you for Warrants Mar. Why what of that Sir You know I give no Warrants to make Cuckolds That comes by fortune and by nature Sir Bran. True that comes by fortune and by nature Wife Why do'st thou wrong this man Mar. He needs no Warrant Master that goes about such business a Cuckold-maker carrys always his warrant about him Bran. La has he answered well now to the full What cause hast thou t' abuse him Phil. Hear me out I pray Through his admittance h 'as had opportunitie To come into the house and court me bodly Bran. Sirrah y' ar foul agen me thinks Mar. Who I Sir Bran. You gave this man admittance intoth' th' house Mar. That 's true Sir you never gave me any order yet To write my Warrants i th' street Bran. Why sure thou tak'st delight to wrong this fellow Wife Hah cause I love him Phil. Pray see the fruits see what has left behind here Be angry where you should be there 's few Wives Would doe as I doe Bran. Nay I le say that for thee I ne'r found thee but honest Phil. She 's a beast That ever was found otherwayes Bran. Read Martino Mine eyes are sore already and such business Would put 'em out quite Mar. Fair dear and incomparable Mistrisse Bran. Oh! every letter draws a tooth me thinks Mar. And it leads mine to watring Phil. Here 's no villanie Mar. My love being so violent and the opportunitie so pretious in your husbands absence to night who as I understand takes a journy this morning Bran. Oh plot of villany Phil. Am I honest think you Sir Bran. Exactly honest perfectly improov'd on on Martino Mar. I will make bold dear Mistresse though your chastity has given me many a repulse to wait the sweet blessings of this long desired opportunitie at the back gate between nine and ten this night Bran. I feel this Ins-a-Court man in my Temples Mar. Where if your affection bee pleas'd to receive me you receive the faithfullest that ever vow'd service to woman Francisco Bran. I will make Francisco smart for 't Phil. Shew him the letter let him know you know him That will torment him all your other courses Are nothing Sir to that that breaks his heart Bran. The strings shall not hold long then Come Martino Phil. Now if Francisco have any wit at all He comes at night if not he never shall Exeunt Scoena 2. Enter FRANCISCO and RICARDO and ATTILIO Ric. Nay mark mark it Francisco It was the naturalest curtesie that ever was ordaind A young Gentleman being spent
him fast old Signior and his Consorts Now you may lay action on action on him 2 Suiter That may I Sir y'faith 1 Suiter And I 'ld not spare him Sir 2 Suiter Know you me Officers Officer Your bounteous worship Sir Ric. I know the rascall so well I dare not look upon him 2 Suiter Upon my worth deliver me that Gentleman Fra. Which Gentleman 2 Suiter Not you Sir y' ar too hastie No nor you neither Sir pray stay your time Ric. Ther 's all but I now and I dare not think he means me 2 Suiter Deliver me Ricardo Ric. O sure he lyes Or else I doe not hear well Officer Signior Ricardo Ric. Well what 's the matter you may goe who let 's you Officer It is his worships pleasure Sir to Bayl you Ric. Bayl me 2 Suiter I will I Sir look in my face man Thou 'st a good cause thou l't pay me when thour' t able Ric. I every penny as I am a Gentleman 2 Suiter No matter if thou do'st not then I le make thee And that 's as good at all times 1 Suiter But I pray Sir You goe against the Hair there 2 Suiter Against the Widow you mean Sir Why 't is my purpose truly and against you too I saw your politick Combination I was thrust out between you here stands one Shall doe as much for you and he stands rightest His cause is strong and fair nor shall he want Money or means or friends but he shall have her I 've enough and I will have my humour 1 Suiter Hang thee I have a purss as good as thine Ric. I think they 'r much alike they 'r rich knaves both Heart and I take your rayling at my Patron Sir I le cramp your joynts 2 Suiter Let him alone sweet honey I thank thee for thy love though Ric. This is wonderfull Fra. Oh Ricardo 'T is seaven struck in my pocket I lose time now Ric. What sayst Francisco Fra. I ha' mighty business That I ne'r thought on get me Baild I 'm spoild else Ric. Why you know 't is such a strange miraculous curtesie I dare not be too forward to aske more of him For fear he repent this and turn me in agen Fra. Doe somewhat and you love me Ric. I le make tryall 'faith May 't please you Sir 'life if I should spoil all now 2 Suiter What sayst Ricardo Ric. Only a thing by 'th' way Sir Use your own pleasure 2 Suiter That I like well from thee Ric. 'T were good and those two Gentlemen were Bayld too They 'r both my witnesses 2 Suiter They 'r well they 'r well And they were Bayld we know not where to find 'em Let 'em goe to prison they 'l be forth-comming the better I have enough and I will have my humour Ric. I knew there was no more good to be done upon him 'T is well I 've this heav'n knows I never lookt for 't Fra. What plaguy luck had I to be ensnar'd thus Officer O patience Enter Brandino and Martino Fra. Pox O your comfortable ignorance Bran. Martino we ride slow Mar. But we ride sure Sir Your hastie riders often come short home Mr. Bran. 'Bless this fair companie Fra. Here he 's agen too I am both sham'd and cross'd Bran. See'st thou who 's yonder Martino Mar. We ride slow I le be sworn now Mr. Bran. How now Francisco art thou got before me Fra. Yes thank my fortune I am got before you Bran. What no in hold Ric. I o' my troth poor Gentleman Your worship Sir may doe a good deed to Bayl him Bran. Why doe not you do 't then Mar. La you Sir now my Mr. h 'as that honestie He 's loth to take a good deed from you Sir Ric. I le tell you why I cannot else I would Sir Fra. Luck I beseech thee If he should be wrought to Bail me now to goe to His wife 't were happiness beyond expression Bran. A matter but of controversie Ric. That 's all trust me Sir Bran. Francisco shall ne'r lye for 't he 's my friend And I will Bayl him Mar. He 's your secret friend Mr. Think upon that Bran. Give him his liberty Officers Upon my perill he shal be forth comming Fra. How I am bound to you 1 Suiter Know you whom you cross Sir 'T is at your Sisters sute be well advis'd Sir Bran. How at my Sisters sute take him agen then Fra. Why Sir doe you refuse me Bran. I le not hear thee Rich. This is unkindly done sir 1 suter 'T is wisely done sir 2 suter Well shot foul malice 1 suter Flattery stinks worse sir Ric. You 'l never leave till I make you stink as bad sir Fran. Oh Martino have I this for my late kindness Mar. Alas poor Gentleman dost complain to me Thou shalt not fare the worse for 't Hark you Master Your sisters sute said you Bran. I sir my wifes sister Mar. And shall that dant you Master think agen Why wer 't your mothers sute your mothers sute Mark what I say the dearest sute of all sutes You 'r bound in conscience sir to bayl this Gentleman Bra. Yea am I so how proov'st thou that Martino Mar. Have you forgot so soon what he did lately Has he not tri'd your wife to your hand master To cut the throat of slander and suspition And can you do too much for such a man Shall it be said I serve an ingratfull master Bran. Never Martino I will bayl him now And 't were at my wives sute Fra. 'T is like to be so Mar. And I his friend to follow your example Mr. Fra. Precious Martino 1 suter Y 'ave done wondrous well sir Your sister shall give you thanks Ric. This makes him mad sir 2 suter Wee 'l follow 't now toth ' proof 1 suter Follow your humour out The widdow shall find friends 2 suter And so shall he sir Mony and means Ric. Hear you me that old huddle 2 suter Mind him not follow me and I le supply thee Thou shalt give all thy Lawyers double fees I 've burryed mony enough to burry me And I will have my humour Exit Bran. Fare thee well once again my dear Francisco I prethee use my house Fran. It is my purpose sir Bran. Nay you must do 't then though I am old I 'm free Exit Mar. And when you want a warrant come to me Exit Fra. That will be shortly now within this few hours This fell out strangely happy Now to horse I shall be nighted but an hour or two Never breaks square in love he comes in time That comes at all absence is all loves crime Exit Finis Actus Secundi Actus 3. Scaena 1. Enter OCCULTO SILVIO and two or three other Thieves Occulto COme come let 's watch th' event on yonder hill If he need help we can releive him sudainly Sil. I and with safetie too the hill being watcht Sir Occ. Have you the Blew cotes and the Beards Sil. They
thy night-geer Val. By 'r Lady that I doubt Sir 1 Suter Oh 't is cleer wench By one thing that I markt Val. What 's that good sweet sir 1 Suter A thing that never faild me Val. Good sir what 1 Suter I heard our Counsellour speak a word of comfort Invita voluntate hah that 's he wench The word of words the precious chiefy's faith Val. Invita voluntate what 's the meaning sir 1 Suter Nay there I leave you but assure you thus much I never heard him speak that word i' my life But the cause went on 's side that I market ever 2 Suter Doe doe and spare not thou wouldst talk with her Ric. Yes with your leave and liking 2 Suter Doe my adoption My chosen child and thou holdst so obedient Sure thou wilt live and cozen all my kindred Ric. A Childs part in your love that 's my ambition sir 2 Suter Goe and deserve it then please me well now I love wrangling a life Boy ther 's my delight I have no other venery but vexation That 's all my honey now smartly now to her I 've enough and I will have my humour Ric. This need not ha' been Widow Val. You say right sir No nor your treacherie your close conspiracie Against me for my wealth need not ha' been neither Ric. I had your fairly I scorn treacherie To your woman that I never ment to marry Much more to you whom I reserv'd for wife Val. How wise Ric. I Wife Wife Widow be not ashamd on 't It 's the best calling ever woman came to And all your grace indeed brag as you list 2 Suter Ha ha Val. I grant you sir But not to be your wife 1 Suter Oh oh Ric. Not mine I think 't is the best bargain That ere thou mad'st i' thy life or ever shall agen When my heads laid but that 's not yet this threescore year Let 's talk of neerer matters Val. Y' ar as neer sir As ere y' ar like to be if Law can right me Ric. Now before conscience y' ar a wilfull housewife Val. How Ric. I and I fear you spend my goods lavishly Val. Your goods Ric. I shall miss much I doubt me When I come to look over the Inventorie Val. I le give you my word you shall sir Ric. Look too 't Widow A night may come will call you to accompt for 't Val. Oh if you had me now sir in this heat I doe but think how youl 'd be reveng'd on me Ric. I may I perish else if I would not get Three Children at a birth and I could o' thee 1 Suter Take off your yongster there 2 Suter Take off your Widow first He shall have the last word I pay for 't dearly To her agen sweet Boy that sides the weaker I have enough and I will have my humor Enter Brandino and Martino Val. O Brother see I 'm up to th' ears in law here Look Copy upon Copie Bra. 'T were grief enough if a man did but hear on 't But I 'm in pain to see 't Val. What sore eys still Brother Bra. Worse and worse Sister the old womans water Do's me no good Val. Why 't 'as helpt many sir Bra. It helps not me I 'm sure Marti Oh oh Val. What ayls Martino too Mar. Oh oh the tooth-ach the tooth-ach Bra. Ah poor worm this he endures for me now There beats not a more mutuall pulse of passion In a kind husband when his wife breeds child Than in Martino I ha' mark't it ever He breeds all my pains in 's teeth still and to quit me It is his eye-tooth too Mar. I I I I Val. Where did I hear late of a skilfull fellow Good for all kind of Malladies true true sir His flag hangs out in town here i' th' Cross Inn With admirable cures of all conditions It shews him a great travelling and learnd Emperick Fra. Wee 'll both to him Martino Val. Hark you Brother Perhaps you may prevail as one indifferent 1 Suter I about that sweet Widow Val. True speak low sir Bra. Well what 's the business say say Val. Mary this Brother Call the young man aside from the old Woolf there And whisper in his ear a thousand dollars If he will vanish and let fall the Sute And never put 's to no more cost and trouble 1 Suter Say me those words good sir I le make 'em worth A chain of gold to you at your Sisters wedding Enter Violetta Bra. I shall doe much for that Val. Welcome sweet heart Thou com'st most happily I 'm bold to send for thee To make a purpose good Viol. I take delight forsooth In any such employment 1 Suter Good wench trust me Ric. How Sir let fall the Sute 'life I le goe naked first Bra. A thousand Dollars sir think upon them Ric. Why they 'r but a thousand Dollars when they 'r thought on Bra. A good round summe Ric. A good round Widow 's better There 's meat and money too I have been bought Out of my lands and yielded but sir scorn To be bought out of my affection Bra. Why here 's ev'n just my Universitie spirit I priz'd a piece of red Deer above gold then Ric. My Patron would be mad and he should hear on 't Mar. I pray what 's good Sir for a wicked tooth Ric. Hang'd drawn and quartring is 't a hollow one Mar. I 't is a hollow one Ric. Then take the powder Of a burnt Warrant mixt with oil of Felon Mar. Why sure you mock me Ric. 'Troth I think I doe sir 2. Suter Come hither honey What 's the news in whispers Bra. He will not be bought out Val. No that 's strange Brother Pray take a little pains about this project then And try what that effects Bra. I like this better Look you sweet Gentles see what I produce here For amities sake and peace to end all controversie This Gentlewoman my charge left by her friends Whom for hir person and hir portion I could bestow most richly but in pittie To her affection which lyes bent at you sir I am content to yield to her desire Ric. At me Bra. But for this jar 't had ne'r been offerd I bring you flesh and money a rich heir And a Maid too and that 's a thing worth thanks sir Nay one that has rid fifteen mile this morning For your love onely 2. Suter Honey hearken after her Being rich I can have all my money there Ease my purse well aud never wage law further I have enough yet I will have my humour Ric. Doe you love me forsooth Viol. Oh infinitely Ric. I doe not ask thee that I meant to have thee But only to know what came in thy head to love me Viol. My time was come sir that 's all I can say Ric. 'Las poor soul where didst thou love me first prethee Viol. In happy hour be 't spoke out at a window sir Ric. A window prithee clap it too and call
le be reveng'd now soundly of Francisco For failing me when time was Viol. Are you there Mistris I thought you would not forget that How ever a good turn disappointed is ever the last thing That a woman forgives shee 'l scarce do 't when shee 's speechless Nay though she hold up her whole hand for all other injuries Shee 'l forgive that but with one finger Phil. I le vex his heart as much as he mock'd mine Viol. But that may marre your hopes too if our gentlewoman be known to be a man Phil. Not as I le work it I would not lose this sweet revenge me thinks For a whole fortnight of the old mans absence Which is the sweetest benefit next to this Enter Ansaldo Why how now sir what course take you for laughing We are undone for one Ans. Faith with great pain Stifle it and keep it in I ha' no receipe for 't But 'pray in sadness say What is the Gentleman I never knew his like for tedious urgings He will receive no answer Phil. Would he would not Sir Ans. Sayes I 'm ordain'd for him meerly for him And that his wiving fate speaks in me to him Will force on me a joynture speedily Of some seven thousand Dollars Phil. Would thou had'st 'em sir I know he can and he will Ans. For wonders pitty What is this Genleman Phil. 'Faith shall I tell you sir One that would make an excellent honest husband For her that 's a just Maid at one and twentie For on my conscience he has his Maidenhead yet Ans. Fye out upon him beast Phil. Sir if you love me Give way but to one thing I shall request of you Ans. Your curtesies you know may lay commands on me Phil. Then at his next sollicitings let a consent Seem to come from you 'T will make noble sport sir Wee 'll get joincture and all but you must bear Your self most affable to all his purposes Ans. I can doe that Phil. I and take head of laughing Enter Francisco Ans. I 've bide the worst of that already Lady Phil. Peace set your countenance then for here he comes Fra. There is no middle continent in this passion I feel it since it must be love or death It was ordain'd for one Phil. Seignior Francisco I 'm sorry 't was your fortune in my house sir To have so violent a stroak come to you The gentlewoman 's a stranger pray be counsell'd sir Till you hear further of her Friends and portion Fra. 'T is only but her love that I desire She comes most rich in that Phil. But be advis'd though I think shee 's rich heir but see the proof sir Before you make her such a generous Jointure Fra. 'T is mine and I will doo 't Phil. She shal be yours too If I may rule her then Fra. You speak all sweetness Phil. She likes your person well I tell you so much But take no note I said so Fra. Not a word Phil. Come Lady come the gentleman desertfull And O my conscience honest Ans. Blame me not I am a Maid and fearfull Fra. Never truth came perfecter from man Phil. Give her a lip-taste Enter Bradino and Martino That she her self may praise it Bra. Yea a match y'faith my house is luckly for 'em Now Martino Mar. Master the Widow has the day Bra. The day Mar. She 's overthrown my youngster Bra. Pretious tydings Clap down four Woodcocks more Mar. They 'r all at hand Sir Bra. What both her adversaries too Enter Valeria Ricardo and two Suters Mar. They 'r come sir Bra. God bid the Cook serve in two geese in a dish Mar. I like your conceit Master beyond utterance Bra. VVelcome sweet Sister which is the man must have you I de welcome no body els 1 Suter Come to me then sir Bra. Are yo' he faith my chain of gold I 'm glad on 't Val. I wonder you can have the face to follow me That have so prosecuted things against me But I ha' resolv'd my self 't is done to spight me Ric. O dearth of truth 2 Suter Nay do not spoil thy hair Hold hold I say I le get thee a VVidow somewhere Ric. If hand and faith be nothing for a Contract VVhat shall man hope 2 Suter 'T was wont to be enough Honey When there was honest meaning amongst Widows But since your bribes came in 't is not allow'd A contract without gifts to bind it fast Every thing now must have a feeling first Doe I come neer you Widow Val. No indeed sir Nor ever shall I hope and for your comfort sir That sought all means t' entrap me for my wealth Had Law unfortunately put you upon me You had lost your labour all your aym and hopes sir Here stands the honest Gentleman my Brother To whom I 've made a deed of gift of all Bra. I that sheh as y'faith I thank her Gentlemen Look you here sirs Val. I must not look for pleasures That give more grief if they prove false or fail us Then ever they gave joy 1 Suter Ha' you ser've me so widow 2 Suter I 'm glad thou hast her not laugh at him honey ha ha Val. I must take one that loves me for my self Here 's as old Gentleman looks not after wealth But vertue manners and conditions 1 Suter Yes by my faith I must have Lordships too Widow Val. How sir 1 Suter Your manners vertue and conditions Widow Are prety things within dores I like well on 'em But I must have somewhat with out-lying or being In the tenure or occupation of me such a one ha Those are fine things indeed Val. Why sir you swore to me it was for love 1 Suter True but ther 's two words to a bargain ever All the world over and if love be one I 'm sure mony 's the other 't is no bargain else Pardon me I must dine as well as sup Widow Val. Cry mercy I mistook you all this while sir It was this antient Gentleman indeed Whom I crave pardon on 2 Suter What of me Widow Val. Alas I have wrongd you sir 't was you that swore You lov'd me for my self 2 Suter By my troth but I did not Come Father not your lyes upon me Widow I love you for your self spit at me Gentlemen If ever I 'd such a thought fetch me in Widow You 'l find your reach too short Val. Why you have enough you say 2 Suter I but I will have my humour too you never think of that they 'r Coach horses they goe together still Val. Whom should a Widow trust I 'l swear 't was one of you That made me beleeve so mass think 't was you sir Now I remember me Ric. I swore too much To be beleev'd so little Val. Was it you then Beshrew my heart for wronging of you Ric. Welcome blessing Are you nine faithfully now Val. As love can make one 1 Suter Why this fils the Common-wealth so full of beggars Marrying for love which none of mine
THE WIDDOW A COMEDIE As it was Acted at the private House in Black-Fryers with great Applause by His late MAJESTIES Servants Written by BEN JOHNSON Gent. JOHN FLETCHER Gent. Tho: MIDDLETON Gent. Printed by the Originall Copy LONDON Printed for Humphrey Moseley and are to be Sold at his Shop at the Sign of the Princes Arms in St. Pauls Church-yard 1652 To the Reader COnsidering how the curious pay some part of their esteem to excellent persons in the carefull preservation but of their defaced statues instead of decayed medals of the Romans greatness I believed it of more value to present you this lively piece drawn by the art of Johnson Fletcher and Middleton which is thought to have a neer resemblance to the portracture we have in Terence of those worthy minds where the great Scipio and Laelius strove to twist the Poets Ivy with the victors Bayes As the one was deserv'd by their work in subduing their Countries enemies so the other by their recreation and delight which was to banish that folly and sadness that were worse than Haniball or all the monsters and venome of Africa Since our own Countrymen are not in any thing inferior It were to be wished they had but so much incouragement that the past licence and abuses charged on the Stage might not ever be thought too unpardonable to pass in oblivion and so good Laws and instructions for manners uncapable of being regulated which if but according to this pattern certainly none need think himself the less a good Christian for owning the same desire as Your humble Servant Alexander Gough The Persons of the Play BRANDINO an old Justice MARTINO his Clerk FRANCISCO ATTILIO 2 Gentlemen 2 Old men Suters to the Widdow RICARDO A decayed young Gent. and Suter to the Widdow ANSALDO MARTIA disguis'd LATROCINIO OCCULTO SILVIO STRATIO FIDUCIO Thieves VALERIA The Widow MARTIA Daughter to one of the old Suters and supposed a man PHILIPPA Justice BRANDINO's Wife VIOLETTA her waiting Maid Officers Servants The Widdow A COMEDIE Actus 1. Scoena 1. Enter Signior MARTINO an old Justices Clerk and FRANCISCO Fra. MArtino Table and Standish Mar. Signior Francisco y' ar the luckiest Gentleman to meet Or see first in a morning I never saw you yet But I was sure of money within less than half an hour Fra. I bring you the same luck still Mar. What you doe not I hope Sir you are not come for an other Warrant Fra. Yes faith for an other Warrant Mar. Why ther 's my dream come out then I never dream'd of a buttock but I was sure to have money for a Warrant It is the luckiest part of all the body to me let every man speak as he finds Now your Usurer is of opinion that to dream of the Devill is your wealthier dream and I think if a man dream of that part that brings many to the Devill 't is as good and has all one smatch indeed for if one be the flesh th'other 's the broth So 't is in all his members and we mark it if Gluttony be the meat Leachery is the Porredge they 'r both boyld together and wee Clerks will have our modicum too though it conclude in the two penny chop Why Sir Signior Francisco Fra. 'T was her voice sure Or my soul takes delight to think it was And makes a sound like hers Mar. Sir I beseech you Fra. It is the prettiest contriv'd building this What Poesie 's that I prethee Mar. Which Sir that Under the great brass Squirt Fra. I that Sir that Mar. From fire from water and all things amiss Deliver the house of an honest Justice Fra. Ther 's like to be a good house kept then when fire and water 's forbidden to come into the Kitchin Not yet a sight of hir this hour 's unfortunate And what 's that yonder prethee O loves famine Ther 's no affliction like thee I I hear you Sir Mar. Y' ar quicker ear'd than I then you hear me Before I heard my self Fra. A gift in friendship Some call it an instinct Mar. It may be Th' other 's the sweeter phrase though Look you Sir Mine own wit this and 't is as true as turtle A Goose-quill and a Clerk a Constable and a Lanthorn Brings many a Baud from Coach to Cart and many a Thief to one turn Fra. That one turn helpt you well Mar. 'Tas helpt me to money indeed for many a Warrant I am 40. dollars the better for that one-turn and 't would come off quicker 't wer nere a whit the worse for me But indeed when Thieves are taken and break away twice or thrice one after an other ther 's my gains then goes out more Warrants to fetch 'em agen one fine nimble villain may be worth a man ten dollars in and out a that fashion I love such a one with my heart I and will help him to scape to and I can hear you me that I le have him in at all times at a months warning nay say I let him run like a Summer Nag all the Vacation See you these blancks I le send him but one of these bridles and bring him in at Michaelmas with a vengeance nothing kils my heart but when one of 'em dyes Sir then ther 's no hope of more money I had rather lose at all times two of my best kindred than an excellent Thief for hee 's a Gentleman I 'm more beholding to Fra. You betray your mystery too much Sir Yet no comfort 'T is but her sight that I waste precious time for For more I cannot hope for she 's so strict Yet that I cannot have Mar. I 'm ready now Signior Here are blanck Warrants of all dispositions give me but the name and nature of your Malefactor and I le bestow him according to his merits Fra. This only is th' excuse that bears me out And keeps off impudence and suspition From my too frequent comming what name now Shall I think on and not to wrong the house This Coxcomb wil be prating One Astilio His offence wilfull murder Mar. Wilfull murder oh I love a life to have such a fellow come under my fingers like a begger that 's long a taking leave of a fat lowce I 'm loth to part with him I must look upon him over and over first are you wilfull y'faith I le be as wilfull as you then Philippa and Violetta at a Window Phil. Martino Mar. Mistrisse Phil. Make haste your Master 's going Mar. I 'm but about a wilfull murder forsooth I le dispatch that presently Phil. Good morrow Sir oh that I durst say more Fra. 'T is gone agen since such are all lifes pleasures No sooner known but lost he that enjoys 'em The length of life has but a longer dream He wakes to this i' th end and sees all nothing Phil. He cannot see me now I le mark him better Before I be too rash sweetly compos'd he is Now as he stands he 's worth a womans love That