Merriton to whom you say you are related and to whose virtue I stand Indebted for all the Comforts of this life makes me submit my self with more willingness to this your Importunity else Sir believe me I should think this lonely Visit very improper and not at all Concurring with my honour Y. Merr. Your honour is a thing I would defend against a World of Enemies then think not Sweet that I would willingly do any thing to blast it I know this private Visit may be censur'd but not whilest 't is a Secret as 't is now I had no other way to express my Love and not to have done it would have made me Miserable Mirtill You Imagine Sir that my Soul is Musicall and therefore treat me with that tunefull word but build not Sir too much upon my weakness for tho' my heart is tender and unartfull and Love a bait most proper to deceive me yet Virtue is a guard Y. Merr. There needs no guard Sweet Angell against a Love so honourable as mine the World is full of Treachery and our Sex are brooding mischiefs dayly against yours but I alas am of another Mould my Soul by fate was design'd for your Slave my heart still moves the narrow constant Road in hopes in your's to finde at last it's heaven Mirtill Oh that bewitching tongue would charm a Saint you are not of the humour of the Town then aside to him Y. Merrit I hate the Town and the vain Crowd are in it the Biass'd Court and Mercenary City where gorg'd with Ignorance and Luxury Wit is disgrac'd the Sciences despis'd and modest Merrit mourns in Rag's it's fortune 't is the Epitome of the nauseous world whose Vices I with such fell-hate persue that I love nothing near the Town but you Mirttill In loving me you doubly wrong your self I have Sir not power to make return Y. Mer. Your heart is sure your own Mirtill Most certainly but where I give a heart I 'le give a Fortune and that alas my Niggard Stars deny me yet think not that I neglect an honest Love for to slight Merit were a baseness in me no you shall find worth has a Friend of me and shares my best acknowledgements and praise you are a Man compleat by Heaven and Nature most qualify'd with Wit and rarest Arts which from my Soul I always lov'd and honour'd and therefore she that gains ye must be happy but I whilst sâ—inted by Injurious fate can bring no equall value therefore mâ—st think ye a Jewell much too Rich for me to wear Y. Mer. How near to Heaven is my present Joy from that sweet mouth to hear my self thus prais'd Oh thou dear source of all my worldly blessings Eternal Rapture charms me from thy tongue and whilst I hear thee I am deify'd to loose thee were Damnation so Infallible I question whether there could be a greater kneels and Embraces her Mirtill â—ay Rise Sir or you 'l make me dye with blushing Y. Merr. Ah make me happy then and give consent Mirtill To what Y. Merr. To Marriage to perform sweet Angell that blessed work thou wert Created for Mirtill Ah Poverty and Marriage never suit Y. Merr. Thou hast all Craesus Treasure in thy Virtues and I in gaining thee shall be far Riche Mirtill You think 〈◊〉 now but when wants make me troublesome then you 'l upbraid and Chide me Y. Merr. Ah never never can I chide my Genius for making my days happy Mirtill I can be Constant Sir therefore have patience fortune may change and give to one or t'other the Power to oblige Y. Merr. A cursed Fortune still to Justice blinde Averse to Merit but to Ideots kinde Thou Misers Darling and trifle of the Brave Niggard to the Poor but to the Rich a Slave How nicely happy all Mankind would be Thou Nauseous Common-Whore wer 't not for thee How now Enter Coopee hastily Coop Come come give him your hand quickly here 's Crowstich the Teacher coming you must dance for your Liberty now Sir Enter Crowstich with a Night-rayle Crow Madam pray do's this Implement belong to you or to Misse Scatterwater yonder Laundry Wench will face me dowâ— that Bless me who 's here sees Mer. how now Mr. Semibrief-whâ—'s that there in the Ladys quarters foldâ— up the shift hastily Coop A Brother Hop-Merchant of mine Mrs◠〈◊〉 that I brought here to help to teach a little having a lame leg â—Meâ— halts and dances awkerdly Crow Come come you 'l be wanted now in the Dancing-Room there 's my Lady Addleplot come already and a great deal of good Company Coop Odsoe we must make hast then for there 's to be singing besides the Entertainment of a young Indian Lady A new Boarder that is to Dance Mirtill Sir you 'l remember to teach me the new Chacune smiling on Merrit Y. Mer. Any thing that 's mine Madam Exeunt SCENE II. The Dancing-Room In the Front appears several of the Boarders as Seated for the Ball and on the side of the Stage others sitting as Spectators among the rest L. Addleplot Tearshift L. Stroddle and other Ladies and on the middle of the Stage Le Prate Y. Bragg and Semibrief Le Prat. Ah Iernie vat a filthy place is this when compare vid our School in France no Decorum no Ornament no Fresco begar metink it stink a like a de Kitchin of de Lord Mawor or the hold of a Ship begar Semib Ah Sir our Noses are not so Nice here in England Le Prat. Dat is as much as say you are all Sloven in England gazoon your Jantee French Dancing-Master all weâ—r persume and cover them all over vid rare Pulvile to take away de nauscous ill Ayre Ugh ugh oh fogh t is Intollerable Enter Crowstich with Miss Jenny holding a Waxwork Baby in a Glass Mirtill Y. Merriton and Coopee Miss Jenny asks Blessing L. Addle Bless ye Bless my good Child and make her a good woman and the mother of many Children I think she 's grown since I saw her last Mrs Crowstich Crow Mightily Madam mightily would she would grow in grace as much L. Addle Lord save her pretty Moppet hold up your head Ienny and go and make a Courtesy to my Lady Stroddle L. Strod Your servant pretty Misse Indeed Madam Kisses her as your Ladyship says she 's grown extreamly Misse you are almost fit for a husband already hah Child Misse Ien. Hoh hoh hoh hoh laughs and makes a Courtesy ridiculously Crow Fye Miss Ienny where are your hands now have I not told ye you must remember to put 'em thus always when you make a Courtesy Misse Courtesys again L. Addle That 's my good Girl Mounsieur Le Prat and Cozen Bounter you don't see Misse and her fine work here Le Prat. Madam I beg your Ladyships pardon and I am your most Obedient Slave pret Misse Kisses her and she Courtesys Y. Brag. Dear Sweet Pretty Creature your's Kisses her L. Strod Well I vow Madam these Nudities are very
with Wings still poyz'd not mounting up nor falling but in a constant Station fixt canst smile at those that climb and those that hurry down Mirtil. I have so and I own I think as little of the vain noisy fluttering World as you the gawdy Fop or haughty thing of Title the strutting Prelate or the Knave in Furs can laugh at too nay I could be contented with the least gift of Fate if that were all Y. Mer. If that were all What is there else sweet Life Mirtil. 'T is not for my own sake that I deny but Sir for yours if we were married perhaps I should love ye nay love ye dearly perhaps have Children too some half a dozen pretty smiling Blessings to cling around and help Lifes tedious Journey with the dear nonscence of their prattling Stories But should the freezing hand of Want afflict us what should we do but sit by our small fire Tears in our Eyes and throbing Griefs at Heart to see our little Flock of unfledg'd Cupids shivering with Cold as wanting necessaries who looking wishly on us seemed to say why would you marry thus to make us miserable Y. Mer. Thou talkst of Children and I think of Heaven when I conceit thou art to be their Mother oh I would learn to out-dig my Grandsire Adam e're thou shouldst want the profits of the Earth or my dear Children born of thy sweet Body their due or proper sustenance Mirtil. And what must I do then when you should dig I know in Marriage we must share the Troubles as well as Joys of him we are confin'd to can I see him that lies within my Arms so full of cares he has scarce time for Love rise early to provide for me and mine and I not knit or sow or spin or something The labouring Husband that has a lazy Wife may not only suspect her Love but Vertue No I 'de never part from you in your ill Fortune but will not be the Cause to bring it on ye Y. Mer. You cannot be the Cause I have enough tho' not what you deserve Mirtil. But I alas have not enough for you Y. Mer. No matter Heaven will prosper Mirtil. That I hope and then my Tongue shall tell another story till when adieu and yet I believe I value ye and 't is value keeps me from consenting Y. Mer. Come come 't is plain you hate me for if you did not Fortune and Wealth were Trifles Mirtil. Be ungrateful and think so still Y. Mer. I must and will by Heaven Is going out and Old Merriton meets him O Mer. How now Son Why in such hast Come back agen Mirtil. My Foster Father here and in this unhappy Juncture Oh Heaven What shall I say to excuse my self Y. Mer. Sir I beseech ye give me leave I 'm ill o' th' suddain and want a little Air What makes he here She said indeed she was beholding to him but how Heaven knows I 'le observe more hereafter this may be a Riddle worth finding out Exit Mirtil. Sir I am afraid I have offended you finding me thus discoursing with your Kinsman in this suspicious manner O. Mer. To fear implies a Guilt I know your Vertue and you might have spared that word beside he is my Son Mirtil. Your Son Nay then a Sisters Amity may well excuse this Freedom 't was Sir your Interest first that introduced him for any Blood of yours meer Gratitude would prompt my throbing Heart to love and honour O. Mer. 'T was warm discourse you had the purple Signal that yet remains displayed within your Cheeks confirmed me that your Tongues have had a Battle and Love or War has fiercely been denounced Pray let me know and if I 've interest in ye as for past Cares I cannot doubt I have give me a share in the discovery Mirtil. Sir I dare trust you with my secret Sins much more then with my little worldly Business Know then your Son has oft been pleased to honour me with passionate Expressions of his Love O. Mer. I thought so pray proceed Mirtil. Ah! then take all I own I love him too and now you have a secret out which nothing but your Commands could ever have forced from me I love him Sir yet knowing my Condition modest regard of wronging him hereafter by my ill Stars made my poor famished Heart hold out though within one short hour of starving weeps O. Mer. This is as I could â— wish Come be not sad the Stars have better aspects than you think and Fortunes giddy Wheel will soon turn round to seaâ— thee on the utmost Spoke with Honours Mirtil. Ah do not mock my Wretchedness dear Father O. Mer. Not for the World come in with me and listen for I will tell thee wonders the Minute is near and the blest Hand of Providence to pass thee from thy Labyrinth of Misfortunes holds out a Clue and guides thee on to Happiness In every Life the Doom of Fate secures One Hour to make it blest and this is yours Exeunt SCENE III. Enter Amorous and Le Prate Amor. Now Monsieur you see what a Precipice I free'd ye from and what Reasons I had for my late passionate resentment Le Prat. Monsieur you have made it out dat you have de good reason and I perceive dat she be de ver dam Jilt ma foy and tho I have lost de little Honour in de quarrel I have save one hundred Guinea morbleau vish make me ver much amends But Monsieur pray observe I vill shew you the finest French Song here dat I learnt dis Morning thol loll loll Sings Amor. ' Dslife no Song now dear Le Prat this is our very Minute of Projection I 've just sent for her go go prithee step into that Closet and when I call come and confront her Le. Prat. Vid all my Heart and I will practise dis Song all de while dere for fear I should fall asleep Exit into the Closet Amor. And if there be a subtiler Devil than ordinary Used by grave Statesmen or by jilting Whores Him I invoke t' assist me here she comes Enter Jiltal and Oyley Iilt. Why that French Fop should fail to come to my Assignation is a Riddle to me Oyley Oyley And to me too Madam I 'm sure I wound him upright I wonder he did not strike Iilt. Hush here 's th' other Woodcock just faln into the Plash one at a Shoot must serve when there 's but little Game my dear dear Iackey Runs to him Amor. Oh my sweet sweet sweet Devil aside Iilt. But why is my dear Hony little Puppy-dog come before the hour hah Amor. My dear Life might assure her self 't was to do her good to be short then you must know that my Uncle just now sent for me Iilt. So dear Monkey so so Hugs and clings to him Amor. And sent me word that upon condition that I would marry thee to morrow morning he would feal my Settlement to Night ha ha
Mer. Mirtil. I hope Sir you 'l defend your Fortune too Y. Mer. My Fortune is not worth defending Madam Mirtil. How Sir not worth defending is my price fallen then Y. Mer. Your price ah no I spoke of my own Fortune your value Madam is inestimable young fair and witty Fifty Thousand Pounds too and much good may it d' ye I am not envious Mirtil. All which I freely give to your dispose Sir Y. Mer. By no means Madam I am no Usurer your wisdom will do better to signify this to your Goldsmith he 'll mannage your full Baggs to an advantage for my own part I deal in Hearts not Money Mirtil. My heart Sir is yours for now I can give it nobly I 've wealth enough Y. Mer. But I alas have not enough for you I think 't was once your saying Mirtil. And do you then refuse me for a Saying Y. Mer. The Rich require no love they expect reverence and you see I keep my distance When we were equal then I lov'd ye dearly I durst be bold then now you are above me Mirtil. I am not proud Sir Y. Mer. Not to your own thinking a Woman's pride is just like one that squints she seldom thinks she has the imperfection because she never sees it Mirtil. Are not you proud now to refuse a Blessing so strangely thrown upon ye pray consider Sir are you not damnably proud Y. Mer. I have a noble fullenness of Soul not proud I never was a Slave to the Bawd Fortune noy am I to be pufft up with her Benefits Mirtil. Must then your bravery of mind be shown to all the World but me ah where is now the Love you once protested Y. Mer. Here in my breast my heart is full of it but Madam you would never entertain it you set my heart still on the score of Fortune 't was not to be oblig'd to you but her 't is true you argued prettily upon it but too wise reasoning shews too little Love Mirtil. All Love without is madness Y. Mer. Rapture you mean and in that Rapture Heaven 't is the Soul's general good enjoy'd in common as well by the naked Beggar as the Monarch Fortune 's a gift particular to Fools to make amends for the Soul 's gross defects the blind work of Predestination what must be must be Mirtil. I never yet did wish the Gifts of Fortune only to give 'em you Y. Mer. You should have given your self in you was fortune each precious minute you deferr'd my happiness was greater loss than Fortune could repay me now 't is your Charity I take it basely 't is Fifty Thousand Pounds given as an Alms. Mirtil. You are shrewdly hurt to take the Alms of Love thus warmly heap'd in Gold Come come you jest with me you cannot leave me so Y. Mer. Not so I 've yet some generous services to pay ye when you are settled then I 'll tell ye more Mirtil. And more I hope to th' purpose Y. Mer. It may be so mean time please to retire here 's Company coming I should be a fool indeed if I should lose thee for all my seeming Exit Mirtil. fullenness I know she 's fast therefore play this game that hereafter she mayn't twit me with her benefits Riches corrupt the Mind some Women must be serv'd so Enter Amorous laughing with a Scrivener Here comes Amorous whose merry tone will be turn'd too very suddenly Ha! Iack well met thour' t very merry I see by which I guess the World goes well hah Amor. Beyond my expectation faith Dear Rogue I have stript Iiltall taken away her Settlemement and torn it and have now brought this honest Fellow with Deeds here that give me a thousand a year which my Uncle has this night promis'd to Seal Ha ha ha Y. Mer. So why thou wett wrapt in thy Mother's Smock sure for thy luck But prithee what is become of the Jilt now Amor. Why thou wilt find her selling of Walnuts by the Fleet Ditch within these two days footing of Stockings is above her level she has not left a Nine-pence to buy Materials Enter Jiltall richly dress'd with Oyley and three Footmen with Lights Y. Mer. ' Dslife prithee look is not that she yonder Amor. No that must be the Devil who has taken her likeness and comes I believe with a design upon my Person Stands amaz'd Iilt. Methinks Oyley the Coach is not easie enough I 'll have the Cushions alter'd and the Velvet finer I 'll have Six Horses too I find every tawdry Gentlewoman has a couple Oyley 'T is true Madam and methinks your Ladyships Liveries are not fine enough neither Iilt. No they have too much of the dull City Air I 'll make Sir Rowland change ' em I 'll have my Pages Coat cover'd with Gold Lace and lin'd with Tissue Y. Mer. Is this she that was selling Walnuts by the Fleet Ditch Amor. Damn her this can be nothing but bouncing you shall see me go and teize her about the Settlement Iilt. What makes Sir Rowland stay so long Oyley Oyley He 's only talking with Mr. Dogsears the Parson a little Madam he 'll be with ye presently Amor. Hoh old Acquaintance what I see thou keep'st up still I see thou wilt not want Rigging whilst there 's a Cully in the Town Iilt. What means the Fellow Who is this Rascal Oyley Oyley Some pitiful Shaggrag or other Madam of Aisatia that wants to be kick'd by your Ladyships Footmen Amor. Do I so eternal Common-shoar No they 'll better serve for your Bitchships Recreation in the Larder at night But Betty prithee why so resty Lord you Whores with Settlements are so Proud ha ha ha Iilt. If I did know thee to be a Fool and not worth a Groat I would ruine thee for that word Hark ye do you pretend to know me Sirrah Amor. Cry ye Mercy faith may be I am bewitched and mistaken but the Devil take me if you do not look as like to a confounded Jilt of my acquaintance as one Thumb looks like another Do'st hear prithee honest Fellow who is that Lady ha To a Footman Foot Who is it why 't is my Lady Rakehell Sir Rowland will fleece your Coat I can tell ye that if he comes and sees ye sawcy with her Amor. Lady Rakehell and Sir Rowland what a Devil does this mean Y. Mer. This cunning Jilt has counterplotted him by Heaven I find it Amor. Why heark ye Fubbs prithee how came thy Name to be alter'd ha Iilt. 'T is a disgrace to me to tell thee but since 't is the only honour I ever intend to do thee know Sirrah I 'm your Aunt I am married to your Uncle Sirrah Amor. ' Oons married to my Uncle Oyley Ay ay married to your Uncle Sirrah what a Pox won't the Fellow be answered Amor. ' Dsheart ye Jade deny it again and quickly or I will have no more mercy on thee than Takes her by the Throat Oyley Help help Murder Murder
made a fine days work of this not so much for losing three thousand a year as for marrying a three pil'd Whore for an Heiress but there 's one comfort still she is not like to get a Groat by me Iilt. If I had known that I 'de as soon have married the Hangman Amor. What does your Ladyship think of a Page now cover'd with Gold-Lace and lin'd with Tissue Iilt. I 'de poison him as I would thee and all the World Oyley If I did not dream of Woollen Stockens last night I 'me no Christian Mirt. The House I stand possest of and the Writings which give me Title as my Father's Heir all which Sir being about to choose me a new Guardian I have offered nay with my self to an ungrateful Man that has refus'd me O. Mer. And has he his Wits left Frowning on his Son Amor. Whoever Madam that stupid Creature is you shall find me more tractable and if you please you may remember Madam Brisking up to her Y. Mer. interposes Y. Mer. Oh Sir this is a Jem too Rich to lose and as you say he must be very stupid that kindly proffer'd can deny to wear it I hope I may succeed Madam Mirt. I need not speak my heart too much pleads for ye Amor. Pox fopp'd again the Devil 's in my Fortune hark'e Sir you have chous'd me finely here To old Mer. O. Mer. Only Wit outwitted Iack no chouce I onely diverted thee a little for my Son's sake thou know'st Natural affection is unblameable Amor. Diverted me a pretty Epithete he has diverted me from fifty thousand pounds with a Pox to him a fine diversion indeed A plague of my shallow Pate O. Mer. Mr. Constable there 's your Warrant go and secure Sir Rowland till further order Crimes of this Nature must not be wink'd at nor can I refuse my Evidence and be honest Rake Honest a Fâ—llow with a Face of thy Levitical Cut honest and a Rogue that knows too there 's no such thing in Nature O. Mer. No. Rake No! does not the Forreigner cheat the Country the Country cheat the City the City cheat the Courtier the Courtier cheat the King the Robber cheat the Fur-Coat the Fur-Coat cheat the Red-Coat the Red-Coat cheat the Petty-Coat the Petty-Coat cheat the Black-Coat and the Black-Coat cheat us all and yet thou pratest of Honesty Honesty prithee Cant pray on and be damn'd for that thou wilt come too for all thy Honesty and so farewel Is carried off Amor. Godbuye Uncle here 's my Settlement in a fine Condition Y. Mer. Well Iack thou shalt be no loser by my Fortune I know thy Ravenous Uncle has suck'd up a great part of thy Estate by means unjust which we 'll return and set thee up anew see Bâ—tty smiles at that Amor. And shall we sawn and stroke and kiss and spett at one another again Hah my dear dear damn'd Crockadile hah Embracing her first then frowns Oyley Plague on 'em they laugh at us come away Madam Iilt. I come but I 'm resolv'd I 'le leave one swinging Curse behind me first May Whores lose thee and all thy Race Salvation Breed want the Pox Murder and Desolation And damn ye to the twentieth Generation Exit Amor. Hah hah ha Adieu Buttock and Gad little did I think that ever I should have had the Heart to have said so but come there 's an end on 't How now who have we here more House-warmers Enter L. Addleplott L. Stroddle Nicompoop Le Prat and Tearshift L. Addle Where is this Wretch this degenerate Creature that is so eager for Man before she is capable this Cub of thirteen with the Devil in her already Where must I find her hah Nicom This is the House an 't please your Ladiship L. Prat. Dis is de House begar of Sir Rowland Rakehell Y. Mer. Begar you lie and therefore stand further off Hey what a Plague d' ye come to besiege my House L. Prat. Your House Morbleau but dat is ver strange Y. Mer. Oh Sir strange and true Therefore dance your distance L. Addle I hope your are not accessary to the Childrens Rape Sir Y. Mer. Not I Faith all your Ladiships Children have a better faculty themselves than to want Accessaries L. Addle Very well Sir you may chance to swing for this for my Daughter is an Heiress Y. Mer. Oh I 'll venture that they are within there with two honest ingenious young Fellows who I think are Married to 'em and for my part I could not civilly deny 'em the protection of my House See I suppose they have heard your voice and are come of their own accord Enter Jenny Molly Coopee Semibrief and Parson L. Addle Ay ay there has been some mischief done I 'm sure for yonder 's a Parson with ' em L. Addle D' ye know your Mother Hussie Come hither Ienny Oh but I won't tho you 'll whip me Nicom And hast thou ungraciously taken Man without my leave Molly Molly Yes indeed have I therefore hold your self contented Semibr Ay ay well said my Dear Huggs her Ienny However whereof I am married pray the Man asked Mr. Coopee a Question and he said ay and then he ask'd me a Question and I said ay and then we both joyned hands together and so we were married as fast as any thing Coopee huggs her L. Addle You have not consummated the Jade and therefore I 'll unmarry you again Parson Verily they have done as became them Both I was an eye witness L. Strod An eye witness there 's a pimping fanatical Rogue for you now Molly Ivads I like it very well I wish I had been married sooner for my part for I begin to love Mr. Semibrief since we bedded better than my bread and butter by half L. Addle This comes of putting Girls to a Boarding-School Nicom Ay they hop and dance till they set their blood on fire and then they quench it with the next puddle they come at seriously Shout within A Rogue a Fryer down with him down with him Enter Old Bragg in a Fryers habit the Mobb after him and Young Bragg as their Captain Old Bragg Help help Murder Murder I 'm pursued I 'm taken I 'm kill'd help help Y. Bragg Oh we 'll bring you to life again presently you old Scoundrel Mer. There 's Money for ye I 'll purchase his Liberty for once and d' ye hear yonder 's a better subject for you by half my Lady there now you have a rare time to revenge your self and seize on her and her Party I know they 'r hatching something against the Government Young Bragg I 'll do 't fall on friends By your leave Madam I must secure you you have done as much for me you know many a time 't is true yours was a fairer way but we Politicians must not value Niceties of honour we have an Advantage therefore I the Blacksmith and Captain confine you Prisoner to the State Mobb And I the Chimney-sweeper a Lieutenant justifie him in 't L. Addle Nay I know the Government 's afraid of me I have been told as much but for thy own part look to 't that I don't meet thee hereafter for if I do if there be a Capon in Christendom I 'll make thee one I 'll teach you to disarm the Colonel of the Ladies you Limberham's Rascal you L. Strod If ever we live to see good days again look to your selves Rebels Le Prat. Or twenty towsand French upon London-Bridge as Notredame assure us den you shall see vat de French can do den Mortbleau you shall se de great Monarch Young Bragg Ah stop his mouth there down with him a French Rascal Nicom Well I hope we shall have peace for all this for I am weary of my Buff seriously Old Bragg And so am I of my Sables here I 'm sure ' dsdeath could they find no other way to disgrace me but to stink me with an old Fox Hide and choak me up in the fur of a Fryer now shall I stink of Popery for this Month at least which is a worse smell to me then an Old Jew that is telling a Story and has just rellish'd his Mouth with a Clove of Garlick Old Merr. Come Madam your Supper is ready within where you shall give me leave to drink Prosperity to the King and Government not forgetting some new Consummations Amor. And if I do haphen to be drunk with toping thine and thy blessings Health there thou 'lt be so kind Friend as to remember the mortgage in the morning hah Young Mer. Oh never doubt me I 'll not break my Word and now sweet Angel my Joys crowd thick about my heart and long for vent the approaching happiness looks so like Heaven that I methinks am exâ—asied already Mirtil. Nor is my share of vast Content less Charming In Fortune's brightest Sphere of Bliss I move Enjoying Wealth enough and him I Love Exeunt omnes FINIS * To old Mer.
Sowse what then you do my Ladys Drudgery for nothing do you Sirrah a fine Trade indeed a hopefull Imploy had not you better have staid with the black-smith where I put you to Prentice you prodigal Villain Y. Bragg No I thank you faith I 've an easier Forge to work at and better Company Old Bragg Come I 'll try what Company you keep presently I 'll give you the Test Faith I 'll part with the best part of my Dinner to treat you for once come Sirrah here 's King William's Health Pulls out a brandy-Bottle and drinks Y. Bragg O Lord indeed Sir I never dare drink any Brandy Old Bragg Sirrah drink and quickly or by this bottle I 'll cut your throat Y. Bragg D'sheart Sir you 'll undo me my Lady will smell me an◠she hates the smell of Brandy as she hates the Devil Old Bragg You lye you dog there 's nere a Lady of her party but has a Bottle by her bed-side every night what a plague d' ye think I ha'nt heard of their cold Tea Y. Bragg ' Dsheart how should he hear of the Ladies cold Tea 't is the greatest 〈◊〉 Court by this Light Old Bragg Come come the Health the Health Y. Bragg Why then here 's the Kings Health I 'll top upon him as our Party use with a mental Reservation Come the Kings Health Sir aside Old Bragg What King What King Sirrah speak the words Y. Br. sings Sir I drank to the King and I took it off clean And he 's but a Fop that asks what King I mean Old Bragg A Fop very well Sir introth y' are in the right and to quip me better to be one I think this Hat and Feather would not be amiss this Peruke likewise is proper this Coat and Sword likewise Old Bragg takes away his Hat and Feather and Sword and Coat Y. Bragg ' Dsdeath what d' ye mean Sir Old Bragg To make money of 'em and drink the Kings Health you Rogue Y. Bragg Nay Father Old Bragg Sirrah stir a foot after me I 'll run my Sword in your Guts Zooks I've a great mind to the Breeches too I could flea a Rebel methinks as I would an Eel but come this shall serve at present but d' ye hear Sirrah get mony is your pocket against the next time to relieve your old Father or I 'll have no more mercy on thee than a she Tiger has of a Traveller when her Cubs have had nothing foo dinner Exit Old Bragg Y. Bragg So a very pretty business this thus am I serv'd by this old Rascal whenever I refuse him mony nay nor is this all for the disgraces I suffer by him vex me more by half Meeting me talking with a great Lord in the street t'other day Sirrah says he lend me eighteen pence for my Stockings want footing and my Shoos have lost both their heels my Lord star'd at him like a stuck Pig he as much at my Lord till having dispatch'd him I was fain to recover all by swearing he was a craz'd old Edge-Hill Officer that I kept upon Charity Well this won't do I must study some redress tho' I want Courage to beat the old Scoundrel but first to my Lady to whom I must tell some damn'd lye or other for a new Hat and Peruke one hour's soft Indearment I know will quip me again Tho to the Royal Aid she 'll nought disburse To me she never fails to draw her purse The End of the first Act. ACT II. SCENE I. Enter Old Merriton and Young Merriton Old Merr. OH Will well met when were you last at the Boarding School To. Merr. Yesterday Sir Old Merr. Then you must give me leave to guess your business there nay I 'll not question you but only let you see a Fathers Eye guided by his indulgence still most observes when it seems least to do so what think you of Mirtilla come speak freely To. Merr. Sir to dissemble is a Courtiers Vice that ne'r intends to do the thing he promis'd I 'll speak my thought as free as Air I think her the brightest Jewell of her Sex her Vertues set in her Beauty are unparalell'd and like the Jewel of great Tuscany too rich for all the neighb'ring Kings to buy Old Merr. Thou speak'st my thoughts dost love her prithee tell me To. Merr. Alas Sir be not pleased to hear my Follies my Will you know is bounded in your Pleasure on your Commands depends my love or liking besides tho dress'd in Beauty Wit Innocence I hear she is an Orphan and unknown not fit for me to love that cannot raise her to what her worth deserves Old Merr. She may be known hereafter not to baulk your fancy Sir I give you leave to exercise your liking if you think fit license you to love her To. Merr. Which I could do and faithfully but must grieve that my small fortune Old Merr. Do not upbraid me Son if my distresses have like clouds hung o'er me so involv'd thee in my sad Misfortunes believe me 't is no fault of mine but fates that thou deserv'st more I must needs confess for tho my Son thou art to Vertue nearer Arts still have been thy aim Wit Honour Justice Philosophy soft Musick with all the train of noble Sciences To. Merr. Good Sir no more you need not shew too nearly how much I am indebted to your goodness Old Merr. Thou art not in my debt but rather I in thine the trust I had in the last Reign deceiving me beggering my hopes makes me but half a Father I deserv'd well loyal Faith express'd but Ruine was the word and I amongst the rest To. Merr. Divert the Subject I beseech you Sir Old Merr. To the purpose then When did'st thou see young Amorous To. Merr. Today Sir who told me he was much beholden t'you for a late Plot upon his sordid Uncle Old Merr. T is true for I must own I hate that vicious Fellow more than Cowardise tho for some private reasons I seem to indulge his Humour more of that hereafter I know you are for the Boarding School this Afternoon to see the Fair forlorn well give her my Love she 'll make thee not less welcome for 't I 'm sure Adieu Exit Y. Merr. Old Merr. solus I have maintained her there this many years unknown to any and will proceed till fate make ripe my project young Amorous was framing an Intrigue till I discover'd diverted him with a specious Plot upon his Uncle to amend his Fortunes she is not of that mean desert she seems nor my Son's Love so weak as he pretends 't is Time must ripen all Here comes Sir Rowland as merry as Wealth and Wickedness can make him my first game is with him I shall go near to dash his jollity Enter Rakehell Rake Hoh Devotion art thou there with a pox to thee without a Prayer-book in thy hand too that 's a wonder faith for
and Le Prate part ' em Le Prat. Jernie vat is de meaning of dis sa sa vat a Plague do you do O. Brag. Let me go and I 'le beat the Rogues into Paste Y. Mer. What 's the matter Friend O. Brag. Oh are you there Sirrah runs to Y. Brag. what you threaten to have me Whipt de' e you Prodigal Son of a Whore harkee dogbolt who am I hah Y. Brag. The Devil I think I 'me sure y' are as great a plague to me Aside I must face him down with Impudence there 's no way else what art thou mad old fellow who wouldst thou speak with ha O. Brag. Mad old fellow here 's an Impudent Rascal what you have forgot me Rogue have ye but I 'le rub up your Memory presently offers to draw Merrit holds him Y. Mer. Why how now old Armour of proof de' e know to whom you give this Language the Gentleman 's a Captain O. Brag. Why let him be a Collonel he 's my Son and I 'le call him as many Rogues and Rascals as I please Y. Brag. Would I had been the Son of a Coach-horse Aside Y. Mer. Thy Son ha ha ha this is pleasant i'faith art thou the stock of the Ancient family of the Bouncers of Affrica ha ha ha ha ha Le Prat. De fellow has not bin bred in France dat I 'm sure Y. Brag. Hark'e Sir I 'm Courting a young Lady here that has six thousand pound Fortune follow my directions and recover my Credit and you shall have half To Old Brag. O. Brag. Six Thousand Pounds Y. Brag. Every Farthing Sir 't is she yonder that stands by the old Gentleman O. Brag. And shall I have half Neddey Altering his Tone Y. Brag. You shall therefore own your self to be Colonel Brag an Acquaintance of mine at the Siege of Buda and let me alone for the rest O. Brag. Why this is fair now Neddy now you don't abuse and slight your old Father you are a good Boy Three Thousand Pounds Gad Zooks 't is enough to make me a Colonel indeed Y. Brag. Mind your Cue Ha ha ha ha Come dear Colonel 't is enough now prithee leave off thy Joking I see my Lady is surprized at it Why Madam and Gentlemen this was nothing but a Jest all this while this is my dear Friend Colonel Brag that I met withal at Buda O. Brag. Yes Madam I am Colonel Brag and as the Captain says we me together at Buda Y. Mer. Methinks your Habit is not very like a Colonel Sir L. Prat. Jernie de ver resemblance of de English nasty foot Granadeer Y. Brag. Oh a Jest a Jest the Colonel has often these Frolicks to come a broad in a Disguise he has some Design in this now I warrant L. Addle I warrant he is a Colonel o' th wrong side by his beating my Footmen the Rebels all know my Livery and have a spiâ—e at it and therefore pray tell him Cozen I care not for such Roysters Company Y. Brag. Sir you 'd do well to humour my Lady a little in her way she 's a great Stickler against the Government O. Brag. What you 'd have me speak Treason would you ye Rogue and so hoist my self to the Gallows before I 'm aware Y. Brag. Would thou wert hoisted there fifty Cubits high Dsheart this old Scoundrel will discover all yet I see by his awkward Carriage Aside L. Addle A Filthy Beast Come Madam let 's leave him and go and give order for our Bonfire Madam are your Ladyship's Jack-Boots ready L. Strod They were liquor'd this Morning Madam I 'm ready in a Minute L. Addle Mr. Alderman Come let 's go Cozen Bouncer come you away too from the Old Rebel I have occasion to use ye Y. Brag. I 'le wait on ye Madam Meet me at the Magpy-Tavern at Nine To O. Brag. Exeunt L. Addle L. Strod Thrum Y Brag. O. Brag. Enough I 'le come Gentlemen Good buy Exit O. Brag. Y. Mer. Oh your Servant good Colonel Musquet ha ha ha I will know the bottom of this Cheat I 'm resolv'd and to effect it thou shalt go and invite 'em to a Glass of Wine with me to morrow Coopee That old fellow is certainly a Counterfeit but what is t'other Is he really a Captain Y. Mer. No more than thou art a General 'T is the Common Title now-a-days for all the Bullies Shop-lifts Robbers Pimps Panders and Rakehels about the Town any tall Fellow that can but get a red Coat on 's Back is dubb'd a Captain presently But prithee let 's go whilst the Monsieur is busie yonder for fear he should thrust himself upon us and dear Rogue procure me but another Meeting to Morrow with Mirtilla and then I 'm thine for ever Coopee I 'le do what I can but you may thank your Dancing Faculty Exeunt Mer. and Coopee Le Prat. Jernie heer be de very pret Fancy a Sheny Orange vid de Billet Doux wrap in it ha ha ha let a me see now vat it say Ha! 'T is from my deer sweet Mrs. Betty Begar I 'le go into the Garden and read it for I see here comes more Company Exit Enter Rakehel Amorous and Jiltall in a Rage Iiltal Patience Talk not to me of Patience Mr. Amorous I will have Justice Amor. You shall Madam you shall Iiltal I 'le have him hang'd I 'le make a Parliament business of it I 'le make him an Example to all Villanous cheating Guardians I 'le mount him tho it cost me half the Estate Rakehel This is a very Indian Devil Amor. 'T is well she 's ignorant who you are Sir for she has such a Devillish Spirit that Gâ—d if she knew she 'd go near to tare ye to pieces Rake The very Issue of a Dragon Gadzooks I 'm afraid to come near her Iiltal Would I had the Villain here ' I 'd tare his Throat out with these Fingers I 'de chop him into more pieces than ever Medaea did her Brother Absirtus in Story What say you Sir would not you help me to murder the Villain hah Rakehel O yes Madam I 'd have a Leg or an Arm of the Rascal if he were here Trembling Iiltal A Treacherous bloody kidnabbing Villain hah Sir Rakehel Oh a Rogue a Rogue a very Rogue Iiltal Oâ— that this Dagger were in his Hearts Blood Rakehel He were right serv'd if it were Madam Sbud how I tremble Iiltal But the Gallows shall perform the Work more decently therefore Mr. Amorous if you have any Love for me as you profess lose not a minut's time in the Proseâ—ution you know the Witnesses are all ready and want nothing but a Summons I think the Law cannot fail to do me right in so notorious an Abuse but if it should I swear by Mars Apollo Venus Mercury and all the Powers of Fire Air Earth and Water rather than let my Cause be left in the Lurch I 'le stâ—b him tho I do it in the Church Exit Rakehel
thy precious Wit Drest in the glittering Robe of Charming Poetry Moves my soft Soul When e're thou writest of Love Methinks my Heart melts with the Sacred Flame And even makes Virgin Innocence grow wanton For then dear Merriton I think on thee And every Thought begets an Extasie Almost too fierce for Vertue to endure Yet tho' I love thee my Resolves are constant I 'le sigh and mourn for thee my dearest Friend But can no more till our hard Fortunes mend Enter Lady Addleplot Crowstich and L. Stroddle L. Addle You amaze me Mrs. Crowstich with this Discovery I thought it impossible the Girl should be so wild Crow 'T is strange indeed Madam for one of her years but your Ladiship shall have the proof on 't presently Mirtil. She here To disturb my Contemplation Horrid Creature How shall I avoid her Exit Mirtil. L. Addle The t'other Dowdy indeed I always imagin'd indocible but that Sir Arthur's Offspring a Child born of my own Body Bone of my Bone Flesh of my Flesh Vitals of my Vitals that she should degenerate I am amaz'd at it L. Strod To look so much below her self as to fancy a little Dancing-Master 't is not adequate your Ladyships Blood that runs in her I confess Enter Jenny L. Addle Whither were you going you great Romp ha Ienny Oh Pray Mam forgive me this time and I 'le never do so agen Crow Only to Mr. Coopee Madam this has been hatching a good while the t'other too is as mad for Semibrief our Singing-Master they were both found Romping in the Garden with 'em last Night but the Governess has turn'd them away for 't Here she comes with her Father I 've told him her Tricks already Enter Nicompoop Molly and Tearshift Nicomp Ah Madam the Girls are both undone seriously L. Addle The Girls I hope you don't couple your Tarrier there with Sir Arthur's Breed Jack Sawce Ah Tearshift 't is evident now that filthy thing there has quite spoil'd Miss by Keeping her Company Tear 'T is certainly so Madam there 's no comparison between the Childrens Parts L. Addle I'lle examine her my self Hussey speak the Truth and scape the Rod What did you and that aukward Creature do with Coopee and Semibrief in the Garden last Night Ienny No hurt truly truly now L. Addle What business had ye there What was your Design Come don't ye lie Ienny Why we Eat ugh ugh we eat a dozen of Custards there L. Addle A dozen of Custards very well Ienny And about Fourteen Cheescakes Molly There wan't Fourteen then there was but Thirteen in all and I have one of them in my Pocket here Pulls out a great Cheescake and eats it L. Addle My Lady Stroddle did ye ever hear such a filthy Romp L. Stroddle She has a little too much of the vulgar I confess Madam Nicom Madam I beseech your Ladyship to hear Molly tell what Word pass'd between 'em and what that Impudent Singing-master said to her L. Addle Prithee hold thy Tongue Nicom Pray Madam let me beg your Ladyship Come Molly leave chawing your Cheescake and tell my Lady Child Molly Why he ask'd me Ienny But pray Mother don't be angry with Mr. Coopee for he 's a mighty pretty Man and the best Caperer in all the Town â—eaps rampingly Molly And pray Father don't fall out with Mr Semibrief for he 's a fine Man every inch of him and the best Triller aw aw au au Trils Nicomp The poor Fool wins upon me so with her pretty Carriage that seriously I can deny her nothing Come and kiss me Molly L. Addle Fogh how the Brute licks the Calf yonder Well Mrs. Crowstich tho' the Fellow has been sawcy with her 't is not so far gone I see but the Girl may be reclaimed Crow Ah Madam this is not half her Fault if this had been all I had born it with some Patience but Madam he has taught her to be a Rebel too L. Addle Hah Crow And made 'em drink Confusion to the French three times one after another in Sillabub L. Addle Degenerate Bastard Is 't possible I had rather she had been choak'd Crow Nay and what 's worst of all the Villan made her sit on 's Knee and sing an impudent Ballad twice over in praise of King William L. Addle A young Whore gad I 'll whip her presently before ye all Runs to her and they interpose Nicom Nay dear Lady seriously you 'll put your self into such an heat Hussy get ye gone Ienny I 've a trick for 't yet for I 'll go and hide my self till night and then get out to Mr. Coopee at the Belcony Runs off Molly And I 'll get out at the Cellar-Window to Mr. Semibrief and be gone from 'em all I 'm resolv'd on 't Runs out L. Addle Away ye Coxcomb or I 'll give you as much ' dslife a young Jade to drink Confusion to the French I shall hate Sillabub as long as I live for 't but I 'll claw her I 'll teach her to turn Rebel Exit after her Nicom Pray Mrs. Crowstich go and strive to pacifie her for she is in a devillish humour seriously Exeunt Enter Young Merriton and Mirtilla Mirtil. But to pass upon 'em thus for a dancing Master and undiscovered is a strange Riddle to me Y. Mer. It pleased Mrs. Crowstich to introduce me who it seems has some friendly opinion of my qualification for my performance Yesterday beside what can be strange to Love who 'd not change Shapes like Iove for such a Danae Mirtil. Who wou'd not talk like you that had your Wit Y. Mer. Or who would live confin'd here that had yours once more think on my Suit then dear Angel Mirtil. Nay now you are unjust did you not promise provided I would suffer ye to see me to touch no more upon that jarring string Y. Mer. If that be jarring there is then no Musick but Discord is the Soul of Harmony I own I promised ye alas but how as men in Fevers promise not to drink yet have no Ease or Comfort till they break it or as to modest Virgins newly wedded and beg a Weeks Reprieve we seem to promise but how can that e're bind the amorous Bridegroom when there 's necessity it should be broke Mirtil. Little should I depend upon your promise when you had power that can infringe it now Y. Mer. All things of sense unanimously excuse me I cannot look upon thee without loving nor love thee but I must renew my suit Mirtil. A Suit bent to the ruin of us both Y. Mer. No rather to our Souls Eternal Comfort Mirtil. Oh Heaven What Comfort can there be in Love curb'd and confin'd by Poverty Y. Mer. We have no Poverty whilst we love enough the Dross of gilded Luxury ne're can equal the Glittering Ore of our sublime Contentment Thou hast a Soul I know disputes Fortune as much as vile unchastity or folly a Soul that sits in the middle of her Wheel