honour another for filthy â—ucre Oh how can I remember this without heavinesse oâ— heart To leave him who gave me beeing To leave him who is my portion without whom I have no beeing O my good God do not leave mee for what am I without thee or what can I do unlesse thou helpe mee All the God of the Gentiles are Divels Iâ— is thou Lord onely that hast made Heaven Earth Thou onely O Lord art my God Those Gods who have not made Heaven and Earth let them perish from Heaven and Earth let Heaven Earth praise that God who hath made Heaven and Earth CHAP. 14. His breach of the Law touching the second Commandement BRing forth thy golden Calfe thy treasures of Horeb thy Dagon thy Moloc Tell me hast thou not reared these Idols in thine heart These were but made of Gold and Silver these are the Metalls which thou doest honour Where the treasure is there is the heart Oh upon how unworthy a Subject hast thou bestowed it Oh that thou hadst razed those moulten Images those graven Idols too long ingraven in thine heart which thou so unhappily adored Oh that thou had seene into the vanity of this painted Earth What a folly it was for an unthankfull thankfull people to set them up a God in the Image of a Calfe that eateth hay And art thou any Wiser in thy generation Of corruptible things hast thou made thy Gods and on those who could not helpe themselves hast thou relyed What daily sacrifices hast thou offsred to those moulten Images These kept thee a waking when thou shouldst sleepe These made thee fearefull to Dye These made thy thoughts strangers to thy true God Oh how bitter is death unto him that putteth his trust in his riches O hstefull Idolatâ—ry to be so unhappily wealthy as to make a reasonable Soule to do worship unto vanity Gehazi became a soule Leper by making himselfe such an Idolater O my loose thoughts whither do yee hale mee nay to what fearefull conclusions have yee already brought mee Reason told mee besides that weake beamling of grace that darted upon mee that there was nothing in these but vexation of spirit How the love of the Creature took mee off from loving my Creator How bowing to these so hardned my heart as it could sinde no knees to bow to heaven O depart from mee yee workers of iniquity yee drawers of mee to Idolatâ—ry In you have I found nothing but vanity Vaine in your promises but lighter in your performances Yee and none but yee brought mee to forget God from whom commeth all good and to â—ight under his Banner who was a profest enemy to the Crosse of my Saviour But alas where shall I turne mee where may I sly for succour in this time of danger I have fled from him who had comfort in store for mee and polluted my Soule with spirituall Idolatry It is best for mee to leave my selfe and to leane on him who gave himselfe for mee My Soule is of too precious a price to be left to such a keeper as will betray her to her enemy for a moments pleasure O my sweet Saviour receive thou mee into thy bosom Decline my affection wholly from adoring these Moulten Images of worldly vanity Let me imprint thee my crucâ—fied 〈◊〉 in my heart so shall I ascribe all honour to him whom I love best â—y blessed Redeemer CHAP. 15 His transgressing of the Third in prophaning Gods name VIle Worme filthy dung Sinfull dust darest thou prophane his name at whose voice the Moâ—ntaines shall quake tremble at the breath of whose nostrills the high hills shall be melted the mountaines shall be laid levell with the valleyes the whole foundation of the Earth shall shake and be removed And yet unhappy Pilgrim thou feared'st none of these things Thou went'stâ—n in Dishonouring his Name nay in miuting new Oaths as if the reprobate had not already found out enow to dishonour his Maker And these thou held'st a great grace to thy discourse For the imaginations of thy deceitfull heart were so set on mischiefe as thou heldst Deepe Oaths the breaths or accents of a brave spirit the strength or sinnews of any discourse This made thee consort and keepe company with the Dames of the time for with this tâ—tle are they highly pleased to suck from them this profane venom this spawne of the most odious senselesse Sinne that ever the Divell suggested Senselesse indeed For there is no one Sin which either one way or another affords not some vaine delight unto the Sense whereas this Sinne is so senselesse of any such Object as it onely affrights the Conscience Affright yea and worthily may it affright Seeing Gods judgements shall never depart from the Swearers House Stand amazed poor miserable Pilgrim while thou hearest this Put thy selfe in the Ballance and tell mee whether during all these dayes of thine unhappy pilgrimage thou hast not practised this Sin Sometimes in deceiving thy Brother with subtile Contracts binding the value of thy commodities with an Oath to enforce him to beleeve what thy Conscience told thee was not true Sometimes in thy good resolves calling God to witnesse that thou hast fixed thy resolves on this and if God plâ—ase thou meanest to effect it and thou wer 't perswaded that it would please â—od that it should be effected meane time thou either weakly failed in what thou intended or else never meant to performe what thou so ceremoniously vowed Againe how earnestly hast thou sworne and herein taken his blessed name highly in vaine that thou wouldst not sleepe till thou hadst revenged thy selfe of thine Enemy And far more constant wer't thou in pursuit of this ill then in performing ought that was good How deepely hast thou vowed to procure thy pleasure which enjoyed how carelesly were thy vowes regarded with what coldnesse rendred Thou hast read how such prophane Transgressors as these should be taken away from the presence of God never to see his face And yet for all this wouldst not thou lose the glory inglorious glory of one Oath for the forfeit of such a prize Not one part or Member of thy glorious Maker thy sweet Saviour but must bee piece meale rent torn divided to have thine hatefull humour satisfied That precious Head that was with thornes crown'd must bee affresh pierced That precious Side which was with a Speare pierced must be againe wounded Those broad-spreading Armes so cruelly racked Those pure Hands so pittifully nailed must be anew opened Those humble Feet which were so unmercifully bored must be againe pounced Every wound must be revived all his sorrowes renewed O unworthy Wretch what hope canst thou have that he will look on thee in mercy who hast so cruelly renued his wounds and increased his torments with thy prophane Oaths and hatefull Blasphemy How maist thou thinke to hide thy selfe in those Wounds which thou hast thus aggravated with thine impiety Was it not sufficient for thee
shouldst enter in he with-held thee How often hast thou drawne neare even to the gates of death and lest they should take thee in hee preserv'd thee Thus hath hee delivered thee from all evill and yet for all this good which hee has done thee thou hast requited him with evill And now thou concludest For thine is the Kingdome power and glory for ever and ever Amen Oh how ready thou art here to acknowledge his power and yet to deny it in thy life But confesse thou must his power not onely with mouth but heart and practise of a good life if ever thou meanest to partake with him in the Kingdome of glory O my sweet Saviour as thou â—ast taught mee by this absolute forme of Prayer how I am to make my prayer and hast promised 〈◊〉 grant me my request if I 〈…〉 that no place may be left for distraction Here thou hast taught how and in what manner I am to pray O let me not lose the benefit of it by losing my selfe wheâ—â— I pray CHAP. 64. He renders a private account of his Faith and in every article of the Creede hee finds a fainting failing weaknesse and want I Beleeve in God the father Almighty maker of heaven and earth This first Article of our Beliefe was made by Christs first Apostle Saint Peter And herein thou professest that thou believest But that is not enough The Devils doe beleeve and tremble Thou must not onely believe God but believe in God and that he is thy God Againe thou art not only to believe God and believe in God but solely love God and wholly live to God For as wee are to believe with heart unto righteousnesse and confesse with mouth unto salvation so are we to bring forth fruits hereof in an holy and blamelesse conversation O how much hast thou failed in the first what then may wee looke for at the last And in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord. Of this second Article was Saint Iohn the Evangelist Author one who was right deare in the eyes of his Master our blessed Saviour and one who leaned on his bosome at his last Supper And here thou confessest Iesus Christ the second person in the blessed Trinity to be the Sonne of God to be our Lord. But hast thou by a contrite heart regenerate life made him thy Lord Thou saist thou dost beleeve in him but dost thou love him in whom thou believest And how shouldst thou be lesse then his Lover so long as thou beleev'st him to be thy saviour But wher be any Signes of this love O if thou didst truly love him in who thou believ'st thou wouldst rather leave to live then leave to love him in whom thou believest Which was conceived by the Holy Ghost borne of the Virgin Mary This third Article S. Iames the Greater composed whereby thou art taught to beleeve all sanctification to be included in his Conception all humility in his Nativity But dost thou as every Christian should do seriously consider for whose sake this Virgin was conceived for whose sake thy sweet Saviour became so humbled that the Son of God should become the son of Man that the Son of Man might become the son of God that the immortall should become mortall that the mortall might become immortall that the living Lord should dye that the dying man might live that the free should become bound that the bound might become free that God should descend from heaven to earth that he might draw us from earth to heaven that God should become humbled that Man might be exalted that He should become poore that we might be enriched and reckoned amongst the transgressors that we amoÌ„gst his Saints might be numbred Hast thou I say meditated of this how he was borne for thee that thou mightst be re-borne in him O I feare thou hast beene more ready to partake of this benefit then by acknowledgeing it to bee thankefull for it Suffered under Pontius Pilat was crueified dead and buried This fourth Article Saint Andrew framed wherein thou seest and perhaps admirest the unjust proceedings of a wicked Iudge for thou hearest one and that an odious and malicious one pronouncing the sentence of death upon the Lord of life and inclining to the voice and vote of the people delivering a murdring delinquent to murder the innocent Nay pronouncing a sentence against his owne Conscience for hee washed his hands but not in innocence Againe thou hearest and beleevest that hee was crucified and yet it grieves thee not to crucifie him afresh with new sinnes Thou beleevest that hee died and was buried and yet thou daily diest not to sin but in sin and hast now not three dayes but many yeares laine buried in them He descended into hell This fifth Article Saint Philip added and thou beleevest in it Hee dâ—cended that thou mightst ascend to the place whereto hee is ascended Yet where be there any tokens of thy desire to ascend unto him Ascend unto him thou canst not unlesse thou descend into thy selfe for whom he so humbly descended The third day he rose againe from the dead This sixt Article Saint Thomas annexed An Article proper for Thomas who touching Christs Resurrectioâ— was so incredulous And here thou seest that late crucified man now acquit himselfe of death like a victorious Lord. And hence thou rejoycest but unlesse thou â—ise from sinne and live to righteousnesse Christâ— Resurrection shall afford thee small comfort in the bed of thy sicknesse Hee ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the father Almighty This seventh Article Saint Barthol omew penned And by this thou beleevest that hee is now ascended who for thy sake descended And as from his rising came the hope of thy Resurrection so from his ascending the hope of thy glorification But thou must rise with him before thou canst reigne with him rise with him who was free from all sin from the Grave of sin that thou maist reigne with him who dyed for thy sin in his heavenly Sion And as hee sitteth on the right hand of God the father Almighty where he offers up his prayers for thee sheweth those glorious scars of his precious wounds to his Father for thee per forms the faithfull office of a loving Mediator for thee So art thou in thy prayers to remember the necessity of his Saints upon earth But cold is thy charity in performing such a duty From whence he shall come to judge both the quick and the dead This eight Article was by S. Matthew published and by this thou believest how he who was judged unjustly shall judge the whole world in Equity For the Father judgeth none but hath given up this judgement unto his Son in whose brest are laid up all the treasures of wisdome and knowledge And this thou beleevest and tremblest and reason thou hast to tremble for how shalt thou be able to stand in his presence before whom even the
her that loose Libertine thy fleshly Idumaean are thy works of righteousnesse accompted as a a menstruous Cloath by her art thou brought to nothing esteemed as a vaine thing and in manner nothing For tell me O tell me poore deluded Soule what other thing is this Flesh whose society thou seemest so highly to tender but meere foame made Flesh and cloathed with fraile honour But shouldest thou consider O my Soule what will become of her how after Death her honour shall lye in the dust how shee shall be stinking Carrion full of misery and corruption meate for wormes Againe how neatly so ever shee seeme now tricked trimmed and tyred shee is no more but Flesh and that Flesh and the beauty thereof as the flower of the field Againe wouldest thou but consider her present condition as thou hast already heard of her Originall corruption and read an Atomy Lecture on her beauty to allay the heat of thy fancy Wouldst thou I say but consider with a cleare and dis-intereslsed eye what goeth out by the mouth nosthrills and other passages of the body thou wouldest soone confesse that thou never lookst upon a more stinking Dunghill Againe shouldest thou but reckon up all her miseries how shee is loaden with sinnes surprized with passions polluted with illusions prone alwayes to all manner of evill and addicted to al vice thou wouldest find thereby meanes of this staine of sinne full of all confusion and shame For by company of this flesh became man like unto vanity because from it and none but it drew man that staine of concupiscence by which he became attached attainted so wholly crooked and corrupted as he set his love on nothing but vanity practised nothing but workes of iniquity O leave to love her then whose love is thy losse estrange thee from her wayes for her pathes lead unto death And now give mee leave to talke a little with thee O my Flesh And first resolve mee if ever I came into any place wherein I could promise to my selfe peace In this populous Citie I cannot take my walke in any street wherein I am not subject to bee taken by thy deceit Thou sendest forth those two light Spies to purvey and bring in Objects of lust by these am I wounded by these doe I suffer a continual Combat Neither are these wounds cured now when my youth has left mee when these daily Messengers of death summon me For though I bee neere my Grave I am nothing richer in Grace Though those follies of my youth have now left me and woe is mee that I did not leave them before they left me yet other aged maladies grow strong in me against which I must prepare my selfe for the encounter or I am undone for ever Would you heare what my distempers are They are these Though few bee my houres hoary my haires yet am I as numerous in my worldly cares as if I were but even now entring into the world I cannot without an envious eye see my Neighbours field flourish others prosperity gives me occasion of repining others adversity grounds of rejoycing Honour I would have yet can I hardly support my selfe much lesse that Honor which is conferred on me Alas poore mouldred earth Now when I carry about me such constant Companions of my mortality when Aches Cramps and Coughes are my ages livery Now when Death waits at the Wicket and bids me come away and leave the world seeing it is weary of me and fit me for my shrowding sheet being all that is left me yet have I a moneths mind to be greater or richer or more eminent in the eye of the World as if I could dispense with age or make a truce with death Thus am I encountred with new temptations Night and day am I beleagred nor can I find any rest so fierce and furious is this Combatant my Flesh. O how justly then may I complaine of this my houshold enemy And how may I escape her subtilty It is her Delicacy that has undone me for by pamphering her have I famished my selfe I tooke pitty of her weaknesse and I cherish'd her and behold now I am abused by her Shee has wounded mee with her eye no with both her eyes has shee surpriz'd mee For with her right eye she shew'd me prosperity and by inclining to her caused me to commit idolatry And with her left eye shee darted adversity at mee and so made me murmure against him that made me O how I feele my selfe now failing and falling to earth yet how are my thoughts so glued to earth as if they had no other place to thinke on O my God from the depth of thy mercy looke upon the depth of my misery thou knowest my necessity let me not become a prey to mine enemy Sweet Iesu thou hast taught my fingers to fight give mee the mastery in this combat with my flesh CHAP. 6. What assaults he suffer'd by thy Divell both in company and privacy O Thou envious one was it not sufficient for thee to lose thy selfe by the Pride but like a cruell cunning Nimrod haunt day and night after innocent blood Thou art for ever lost and thou wouldst have my poore soule in the same state And to bring thy purpose about thou hast practised with people of my owne family to betray my Fort unto the Enemy Thou hast winnowed me and as thou found mee affected thou wrought upon me Thou had baites in store for every soule to take him napping in his Darling sinne If thou fouâ—dst him labor of that birth wherein thou perished thou couldst suggest to him thoughts of his owne abilities bring him to a disdaine of others Tell him the State did not take sufficient notice of his worth Advise him to hold an higher opinion of himselfe and by conâ—emning others to raise his owne estimate But whereto aâ—me all these trains to undoe him for being fed with these conceits he begins to aspire to places of honour wherein being crossed of his hopes he fals into discontent which clozeth the unhappy Scene of his life in misery and contempt Or deprived of what hee once enjoyed and to an unexpected thraldome consined with the heavy memory of his former felicity and present misery hee either lives desperately encountred with those affrighting thoughts of danger or takes his leave at once both of life and honour Againe if thou foundst him Covetous thou hadst Achans wedge and Gehaza's treasure in readinesse for him Hee shall have his desires and a Leprosie to boot If riotous the Rich-mans table could not bee better furnished his delicious and liquorish appetite must bee satisfied nothing wanting that may tend to surfetting but with those Rioters before the Flood hee little knowes how neare hee is perishing If lascivious his flesh must want no provocation to bring this deluded Minion to destruction Fancies by night and more visible Objects by day are sent forth to seaze on his heart and make him forgetfull of God If Passionate
greedinesse I had committed had sent forth their cry to the clouds they were of no inferior nature but suchas derogated highly from the honour of my Maker What may I then expect but that those Viols of his wrath should be poured forth even to the bottome if hee did not looke upon me with his eye of fatherly compassion It is true my deare Lord it is true No sinner ever exceeded me in number and nature yet comming to thee with an humble contrite heart receive me loving Father for one of thine Though my sinnes might justly make a partition wall betwixt my soule and thee my sweet Spouse for ever yet hast thou promised to be a Saviour to every penitent sinner O Lord looke upon me in thy mercy for my soule is sore vexed within me CHAP. 19. His Contempt of the Third in playing the Wanton IS it time to feast and play the Wanton when the Flood is comming Every houre ushers me to my Grave yet am I still farre off from receiving the motions of Grace Woe is me that my Dalilah has rob'd mee of my strength What a long time of youth did I lead as if that Spring would ne're have done How strongly nay how strangely have I beene taken with a whorish behaviour as if there had beene no well-beseeming beauty but what was accompanied by impudence How often have I taken delight in the count'nance of a strange woman How desirous have I beene to take how ready to bee taken That Belcâ—ne could not open nor in her opening discover the feature of a woman which my wanton eye did not fixe on Forbidden fruit and stolne waters were ever sweetest Lightnesse had got such possession of mee as were it in action or discourse there was nothing which took mine eare more or made the houre lesse tedious I had read how that the Adulterer and Whore-monger God would judge How that the pleasure of fornication was short but the punishment of the Fornicator eternall And sometimes I had the grace to consider with my selfe what thing this Eternity was And the more I begun to consider it the further I was from it yet I found it to bee such a thing as admitted no end and yet I unfortunately made a forfeiture of it for a moments pleasure Pleasure shall I call it no that cannot be properly called a pleasure but a torture which dams the soule for ever I found the deceitfulnesse of this sinne with what resolves I made hourely to become a true and unfeined Penitent never to returne to my vomit I consider'd how a continent soule was the precioust treasure how God would not dwell in that heart that was infected with this sinne All this I applyed to my heart but alas how long did it remaine uncorrupt No sooner was there an occasion of temptation offered then my vaine heart quite forgot what shee had resolved The thought of Eternity was presently choaked with an haplesse desire of enjoying what was lighter then vanity Woe is me that any reasonable soule should bee so deluded That neither the promises of a better life nor the shame of this present life could decline mee from working such iniquity I found how all bread was sweet unto the Adulterer How none was more estranged from his love then whom hee was bound most to love Thus I perished with open eyes for I knew well how the Harlot would bring a man even to a morsell of bread How her paths were full of deceipt and how her foot-stepps led unto death And I understood how there was nothing to be compared to a vertuous Woman and what felicity I enjoyed in such a Choice With what pious Obsequies I solemniz'd her Funeralls whom I once enjoyed with what purposes I entertained to remaine a constant Widdower after such time as I was deprived of her Yet though ripenesse of yeares had nipped in mee the blossoms of of youth nay though age had writ deepe furrows in my brow yet found I youth enough in my doating fancy For I am ashamed to thinke with what an unbeseeming lightnesse I encountred a strange face How soone I could gather by the wandring motion of her eye the disposition of her heart Thus in my declining age begun I to renue my acquaintance with light love and to practise that which did least become me So dangerous is the custome of sinne when it has taken full seazure or possession of the soule O my sweet Iesu clense me from my secret sinnes and give mee grace to remember these things with heavinesse of heart Let me goe all the day mourning and with teares of hearty contrition move thy tender heart to compassion O cuâ—e this bloody issue of my sinne apply unto my bleeding wounds a present cure As thou lookt upon Magdalen and made her an holy Saint of an hainous sinner so looke upon mee with the eye of pitty that I may find thee in the day of my visitation a gracious Saviour CHAP. 20. His breach of the Fourth in his cunning defeating of his Neighbour MY conscience hath oft-times told me and woe is mee that I remembred it not how there were many other kinds of Theft besides purloyning or imbezling of my Neighbours goods In defeating him of what was due unto him nay in finding what I knew to bee his and not restoring it unto him this even this convinc'd my conscience of guilt and that I was a Robber of him These seeme but light sinnes and of such easie digestion as they seeme no sinnes at all But these must not be forgotten for they are writ in his Booke with a pen of steele and are not to be wiped away but with the soft Spunge of his mercy I have often thought out of the foolishnesse of mine heart that privily to take away or defeat any one of small toyes or trifles as I accounted them was no sinne because they were of small or no weight whereas if I had knowne the quality of sinne aright I would have confest that it was not the value of the thing but the intention of the heart that made the sinne It skils not much whether the substance be vile or precious which is unjustly procuted or injuriously required so as the affection bee to either of these equally corrupted Though they be of different dammage in respect of him from whom they are taken yet bring they equall detriment to him by whom they were taken O with what sighes with what teares did that devout Father bewayle his breaking into an Orchard though hee was then a Boy and therefore pardonable These are now so easily dispenc'd with as they are held but tricks of youth But hee could cry forth in the anguish of his spirit I have had a desire to perish O Lord I have had a desire to perish O how the sense of sinne makes the least seeming sinne appeare heavy O what may I thinke of my selfe who have gloried in these things A graine of sand though it
Guests for his complexion seem'd so withered and decayed his body so meagre and macilent as he appeared rather like some Anatomy then any living Creature This poor marrow-eaten Wretch I found sighing and making a pittifull mone as if some heavy mis-chance had befalâ—e him but inquiring the reason of his sorrowing he told mee that the occasion of his griefe proceeded not from any mishappe falling to himselfe but for the happinesse he perceived many others lived in For to see anothers field flourish or his goods to increase and prosper was such an eye-sore unto him as nothing could more distemper him This I conceived to be a base condition and such as to humanity had very small relation So as I resolved to quit my house of him and give him his Pasport finding nothing in him but an harsh unsociable humour rejoycing in nothing more then the ruine of another yet desiring to sift him a little further and to the bottom to make tryall of his nature I took first occasion to demand of him of what Parents hee descended and in what Coast he first planted and he told mee that Iewry was his native Countrey and his Parents Iewes with whom he long time remained neare to the Lake Asphaltos I asked of him what content he could take in the World when nothing but the evill successe of others presented him any object of joy in the world And he answer'd mee if I knew what strange content the Envious man apprehended from others misfortunes I would preferre that humour before any personall honour for said hee whosoever stands so affected hee cannot want variety of Subjects to minister to him that content which he desired I must indeed confesse quoth he that I am of necessity now then to encounter with some arguments of discontent as I did this very Morning in seeing your Neighbours Pastures so fruitfull their harvest so hopefull but for one of these Objects I shall find an hundred occasions of content No place is exempted from mee no person excepted from playing one part or other in this enterlude of folly O how it joyes mee to see a proud ambitious spirit entring lists with his Competitor where the one must necessarily fall to advance the other Honour was their bait and it proves their baine Againe to see a Love-sick amorous Foole put his whole patrimony on his back to enamour his light Mistresse with a phantastick Dresse and in the end come home with a repulse and so like a Child put singer i th' Eye or laying it to heart make the losse of her fancy the Cloze of his misery Againe to see a miserable covetous Father scraping up an injurious estate for a Prodigall Child who before his Fathers Funerall bee solemnized takes as much paines how to scatter it as ever his raking Father did to gather it Or to see a base worlding spend himselfe in sighs and teares for the losse of his beast making himselfe no better by his foolish mourning then that poor senselesse Creature for which he mourned To see wisemen lament for the death of their Children as if death were some new thing or that there were no hope after Death To see a confident Client faile in his Suâ—te or an Earth-worme stript of his estate And is not this brave sport for an envious spirit This I considered and methought I begun to bee taken with the pleasure of it The report of others well-fare became distastfull to mee their mis-fortunes cheerefull newes unto me Others Weale became my Wo others Wo my Weale O my redeemer thou who art perfect charity remove from mee the rust of envy Too long ha's this â—anker eatâ—n mee O let mee neither do nor wish that unto anther which I would not have done nor wished to my selfe O make mee such an enemy to this Sinne as I may live in love yea rather cease to live then surcease to love thee for thy selfe my Neighbour for thy sake CHAP. 53. Gluttony NO sooner had I dismist this starveling then I encountred another cleare of another temper plumpe he was and well-liking one who cared not much what arrow of Gods judgment were shot so famine were left out He told mee he had beene a professor of Philosophy in the Epicures Academy How he was by nation a Sidonian and descended from the Vitellian family Albeit in the manner of his discourse he discovered no great arguments of a Scholler being of a dull and clodded fancy and of apprehension slow and heavy His providence meerly consisted in purveyance for the belly Wherein hee observed such delicacie as hee scorned much to sit at that Table which was not stored with all Variety I told him Strangers were not to be so curious but rather contented with whasoever was for the present provided Wherewith seeming a little moved Sir said he I am neither so wanting in friends nor fortunes as I need rely upon reversions I have thus long lived and fed deliciously making my Bellie my Deitie And if you knew what delight there were in a luscious Tooth and what pleasure in full Dishes what strength they afford to nature and how they infuse into the Bloud a fresh reviving vigour I am perswaded you would preferre this delight before any other pleasure Sir answer'd I take me not up so shortly I was never yet knowne such a niggard as for sparing a little trash to starve my Belly Others through their misery may stand indebted to it but for my part I will rather choose to abridge mine Inventorie then be so taxed by it But by your favour I must tell you what I have heard that Surfets kill more then the Sword How he who makes a God of his Bellie surfets in the delight of such a daintie Deitie And I have sometimes read Lessius his practise in Physick How when Nature grew so weake in him as there was no hope of recovering him and that his Physicians had left him yet by prescribing himselfe a strict Diet and by duely observing what he had prescribed he even in his declining age became youthfull in his recreations fresh and cheerfull and even to his death strong and healthfull And yet he for all this died said my delicious Guest and tell me then what did his rules of Physick availe him Go to Sir he that lives Physically lives miserably let us cramme and feed our selves fat while wee live satisfy our desires in what wee love So long as wee live in the World let us enjoy with all freedom the pleasures of the World Abâ—linence suites better with an hermitage then a Pallace Take so much paines one day as goe into a Monasterie and what will you find there but as Climacus observeth Breathing Coarses their spirits wasted their radicall moâ—stâ—re with their Lampe-oyle consumed nothing left to present the resemblance of men save only bare Sceletons or fleshlesse Images of men and these so uselesse for Earth as their sole devotions and desigâ—es are for Heaven But leaving these
or pleasure that made thee a stranger to him O who then will bring thee to him seeing what hee hated most divorc'd thee from him O none but thy selfe deare Saviour O draw me after thee and I will follow thee O too much hold has the present world had in mee the cares whereof tooke mee quite from thee Let it henceforth have no interest in mee that I may bee wholly possessed of thee O inflame mine heart with a love of thee that I may live with thee for live I cannot unlesse I enjoy thee And since I cannot live here and see thee let mee dye that I may see thee CHAP. 60. Taste A Dams posterity had beene blessed had hee only seene the fruit and never tasted O how sweet is the taste of sinne to the palat but how cold in the stomacke Though it shew a cheerfull welcome it ever leaves us with a sad farewell Thou hast had a free and full taste of this unhappy Pilgrim in preferring a messe of pottage before an inheritance In feeding so greedily on the Huskes of vanity and preferring them before those wholesome Viands in thy fathers family Yet what were all these compared to those spirituall dainties that incorruptible food but as chaffe to wheat branne to bread Onions and Garlicke of Egypt to the heavenly Manna yet behold my misery Though daily observed how the world was full of troubles perplexities tumults and confusions how such onely had the beâ— part in it who had the leaâ— to doe in it how the Great One had ever some Corrivall to oppose him the little one had fome Great One to crush him How honour like Hamans halter brought the unhappy Enjoyer of it unto ruine How Greatnesse pretending priviledge for guiltinesse brought the Land to mourning How there was nothing in the world but shouldring one another labouring to advance themselves even by their nearest friends dishonour How the world was an empty Sponge outwardly flourishing fruitlesly promising rarely prospering How it was wholly set on mischiefe and how there was none that did good no not one How there was a world of men but a wildernesse of good men How many times vertue bare vices livery While vice became so innocently cloathed as it past current for downe right honesty Yet though I say I considered these things I never treasured them in mine heart I went along with the multitude for my taste it was so inured to sinne as I tooke most delight in that which impoysoned my soule My liquorish taste my luscious tooth brought mee to fare deliciously with the rich Glutton and to carouse deeply in Balthasars cups I feared no more the deluge of sinne then those before the Flood did that deluge of waters before it came O consider then thou ungracious sense seeing every one must bee punished wherein hee has been delighted what shal thy portion be in the Lake where every impenitent sinner is to receive the wages of his mis-spent life Woe is me who will deliver me or take thee off from accusing me Even thou my gracious Redeemer who as thou hast discovered to mee how bitter the world is wilt bring mee to taste and see how sweet the Lord is O lead mee forth to thy greene pastures neare those Rivers of sweet waters where I may taste of the fulnesse of thy pleasures and drinke of those heavenly waters for evermore CHAP. 61. Touch. SOme things were not to be touched for their exceeding sanctity and holinesse other things were not to be touched for their impurity and uncleannesse The Arke was not to bee be touched because of its holinesse and Pitch is not to bee touched because of its uncleannesse Evill conversation is a spirituall infection There be sundry evilâ— concupiscences which though they touch not the outward faculties of the body yet they touch the very life and well-being of the Soule Which though they wound yet are the wounds to a worldling so infinitely pleasing as nothing delights him more then to bee wounded nothing displeaseth him more then to be cured The fish Torpedo is the very Embleme of the world Shee is ever sure to take him by whom she is taken Some things wee shall every where meet withall which for their pollution beare in their fore-head this Prohibition Looke not taste not touch not handle not Least the eye of the soule become blemished the whole inward man infected the powers or faculties of the intellectuall part wholly disordered But how hast thou poore miserable Pilgrim observed this Lesson How hast thou employed this peculiar sense but to satisfie thy concupiscence Easie it was for any one if they touched thee never so gently to move thee to passion but not so easie it was for any object of charity to touch thy bowels of compassion Long might poore sicke Lazarus lye at thy Gate before thou wer 't touched with remorse or moved with pitty to relieve him Long might that way-faring man lye wounded by the way side before thou were 't touched as that tender hearted Samaritan was to minister least comfort to him O how insensible were 't thou of poore Iosephs misery but how quickly touched at the least smart which fame or fortune might dart on thee nor was it any wonder thou insensate sense that thou shouldst grow thus obdurate seeing thy Chambering and Wantonnesse spirituall Fornication and Drunkennesse thy trampling of Gods word under feet thy murmuring and discontent in every estate thy partiall and corrupt love to thy selfe made thee wholly forgetfull of all others but thy selfe Meane time thou little knew how thou were 't thine owne Enemy in not seeking to cure that mortall infirmity which by processe of time became so much more incurable as thou of thine owne malady were 't grown insensible For howfoever they seemed to cherish thee and so delude thee these were Ismalites thy mortall enemies who sported with thee Thus have I loosely rioted and fearefully transgressed in the abuse of every sense and by obeying the lusts of the flesh hatefully sinned against mine owne own soule Deare Lord thou who breathest the spirit of life into every living soule and from whom if thou take away thy breath they dye Breath into my soule new affections rectifie my disordered and mis-employed Senses O give unto mee thou invisible light such a sight as may see thee Create in me a new smell O thou breath of life that I may runne after thee in the smell of thy sweet oyntments cheerfully Heale thou my taste that I may taste know and discerne how great is the multitude of thy sweetnesse O Lord which thou hast laid up in thy heavenly Treasury for those who are full of thy charity Sanctifie thou mine eare that it may bee edified by thee and so direct it that my heart may be inflamed by it to the practise of piety Quicken my touch with compassion to thy little ones and so order every Sense that they may perform their proper offices to the good both
cheerefully encounter it and so prepare my selfe for that judgement which shall come after it O make me walke in thy light now while I have light to walke in and to worke out my salvation now while I have time to worke in For time will come unlesse wee walke here as Children of light when we shall have neither light to walke in nor time to worke in O inflame mine heart with thy love and teach me thy judgements and my soule shall live CHAP. 68. Hell HEare how the damned say while they were here on earth they lived better then thou and yet they are damned And so they taxe Gods mercy and indulgence towards thee of injustice and partiality Such is those damned soules charity Meane time thou livest securely feedest deliciously and puttest the thought of the evill day from thee by walking foolishly in the ways of vanity Little desire then maist thou have O thou sinfull Pilgrim to see death having so little hope of life after Death O had some of those damned ones who are now lost for ever received those many sweet visits motions and free offers of his grace those opportunities of doing good those many meanes of eschuing evill no doubt but they would have beene as ready to entertaine them as thou hast been to reject them O thinke with thy selfe how happy had that rich Glutton beene if hee had rewarded poore Lazarus with some few crummes from his Table O had it not beene farre better for him to have given to the poore all that even hee had to have stripped himselfe to his shirt and to have made exchange of his purple raiments with rags of poverty then to fry in hel-fire eternally O how happy had that rich man in the Gospel bin if in stead of inlarging his Barns he had inlarged his Bowels to the poore Little knew hee how soone his soul should be taken from him when hee addressed his care for so needlesse a provision His thoughts were so taken up with inlarging his Barnes as hee never thought How Tophet was ordnined of old how it was made deepe and large the pile thereof fire and much wood and how the breath of the Lord like a streame of brimstone doth kindle it Tophet was large enough though his Barnes were not But turne unto thy selfe for whom canst thou find in more danger of falling into that place of horror then thy selfe How hast thou bestowed thy time how hast thou employed thy Talent O hast thou not put it up in a napkin or done worse by employing it to some worser end have not many bindamned for lesse then thou hast committed and did it repent thee of what thou hadst done that so thou mightst not bee condemned O no many a wretched soule lyes there tormented for lesse offences then ever thou acted and hast thou yet turned to the Lord that thou maist bee pardoned It is written in what houre soever the Righteous committeth iniquity his righteousnesse shall not bee had in remembrance Now if the righteousnesse of him shall bee forgotten by committing iniquity who leaveth what he once loved relinquisheth what hee once professed what may we thinke of the repentance of that sinner who returnes againe to that whereof hee repented O how many have ascended even up to heaven and amongst the starres have built their nests and yet have suddenly falne from that glory by glorying in their own strength and so drench'd themselves in endlesse misery And whence came all this but because they ascended unto that Mountaine to which the first Angel ascended and as a Divell descended And canst thou excuse thy selfe of being one of these Hast thou not sometimes shewn to the world great arguments of piety Hast thou not beene sometimes like the Kings Daughters all glorious without but how soone becamest thou stript of this glory Thou fell from that seeming sanctity or holy hypocrisie into open prophanenesse and impiety Woe is mee what shall become of me The wages of sinne is death a death that never dieth but liveth eternally Where nothing shall bee heard but weeping and wayling groaning and howling sorrowing and gnashing of teeth O how grievous then shall bee mine anguish how endlesse my sorrow and sadnesse when I shall bee set apart from the society of the just deprived of the sight of God deliver'd up unto the power of the Devils and to goe along with them into eternall fire where I am to remaine without end in grieving and groaning when I shall be banished from that blessed Countrey of Paradise to bee tormented in Hell perpetually where I must never see so much as one small beameling of light nor the least drop of refreshment but be tormented in Hell for thousand-thousand years and so tormented as never to be thence delivered wher neither the tormentors become wearied nor they dye who are tormented O my deare Lord looke upon the price of thine owne blood Thou hast bought mee for a great price O deliver thy Darling from the Dags remember her in mercy whom thou hast bought O let her not goe downe into the Pit neither let the Depth swallow her up For who shall praise thee in the Depth O my good God hough the terrors of Death and torments of Hell encompasse me yet art thou my Succour and wilt deliver me and my soule shall live to prayse thee CHAP. 69. Heaven O How should I looke up unto thee that have so provoked thee O thou Mansion of the Saints thou portion of the just thou Citie of the great King thou heavenly and most happy kingdome where thy blessed Inhabitants are ever living never dying wher thy glorious state is ever flourishing and never declining I must confesse to my great griefe and shame that I have no interest in thee I have lost thee unhappily lost thee in losing my selfe in losing my soule by selling it to vanity I sometimes resolved to play the part of a â—ise Merchant and to sell all I had for the purchase of one pearle But I held the purchase too deare and therefore have I deservingly lost it Foolish Pilgrim couldst thou find any thing more fitting to entertaine thy best thoughts or bestow thy care then the salvation of thy soule Didst thou thinke it so easie a taske to get Heaven as to purchase it by making thine Heaven on earth yet hadst thou but taken halfe so much pains to get heaven as thou hast done to get Hell thou mightst have challeng'd more interest to Heaven then now thou canst Many summer days long winter nights have thy follies taken thee up and these seem'd short unto thee because thou tookst delight in those pleasures of vanity But to bestow one short houre upon devotion O how many distractions did that suffer and how long and tedious seem'd that houre because that task was wearisome to thee and thy mind was elsewhere wandring and would not stay with thee and canst thou now thinke that so rich a kingdom