given mee a tast of the riches of his pardonning love and grace in Christ Jesus I was also carried out to pitty others and begge that God would let them also tast of the same and a particular person was set upon my heart to begge of God for and in a short time the Lord was pleased to answer my desire in working a work of grace in that soul Then I was called by providence to remove into a dark family where I had lived some time beofore and I then finding much opposition against mee was not willing to go thither again but set my self to pray not that I might be willing to submit to the will of God but that I might not remove into that family though had I then understood it my call was clear enough being earnestly desired there unto by my husband and invited by the family who now professed they could not be without mee though when I was there before they did not affect mee well being lofty and could not bear such admonitions that sometime letting fall among them but upon the importunity of my husband and this family I then at length set my self to seek the Lord that my heart might be made to submit to his will what ever it were and that if I did go I might some way or other be useful to him in that place Now that which made mee so unwilling to go unto that family was because of the opposition that I had met with before in the wayes of God and then a want of the means both of preaching the word and fellowship with the Saints But upon my earnest seeking to know the mind of God and to be brought to submit unto it my heart was soon made willing to go which accordingly I did and I had not been long there before it pleased the Lord to worke upon one of the family to my great comfort and refreshing who was one that I looked upon as unlike as any in the family Also the Lord was pleased by death to take away a child from mee which was to my casting down and for some time I was under a cloud and questioned whither I were a child of God and whither my child were saved In that time a good man laboured to comfort mee telling mee before the Lord gave mee a son he gave mee his own son Oh said I that I could see that why said hee if you will see that take head of a cursting law a slandring devil and an accusing conscience all which the Lord hath delivered you from and therefore now wait upon the Lord I am confident the Lord will appear in this thing And the Lord was pleased after seeking of him to set it upon my heart that that child was well with him and that he had such another mercy for mee on earth which he gave mee faith in notwithstanding great oppositions against at that present yet after some half a years waiting upon the Lord I was assured of it A fit of desertion After this the God of comfort was pleased to withdraw and leave mee in a deserted condition which I found to be very sad and I was very much perplexed in my spirit but could not speak of it unto any But going to hear a Sermon the Minister was upon that Text Lord forsake mee not utterly that is to say not overlong least the spirit should fail before thee hee then shewed what desertion was and why God doth sometime seem to leave his own people Because said he throug some pride they thougt they could walk alone and so neglected their watch then God hide his face that they might see their own insufficiency and know that all their peace strength and comfort is in and from him And this through mercy was a great help unto mee at that time Further while I was under that ministry God was pleased to convince mee of the falsness of their Worship which in that place then was used and having an opportunity to go with others to the communion as they call it I could not kneell as the rest did but sat down as if I had kneeled and as I there sat it came upon my heart to think thus as if it had been spoken to mee why dissemblest thou a worship before the Lord hee that commands thee to kneel there may as well command thee to kneel at an Altar although at that time there was nothing known of setting up of Altars which thing I made known to that Minister and did warn him that if Altars should be set up that he would not for filthy lucre sake kneell at them himself nor compel others so to do But he told mee he could not believe any such thing should be but if it should bee so he promised mee he would not conform to them But in a short time after he found il too true for Altarts were reared up and he poor man contrary to his promise did comform himself in that thing and compelled others so to do but the first time he did so it pleased the Lord to smite him with a sore languishing disease that he went out no more Soon after I was at the Christenig of a child as they call it at which time God was pleased to convince mee of the evil and falseness of that piece of Worship also Then was there in the nation a publique fast proclamed and by mans invention there was a form of prayer made and appointed to bo read in every assembly that fast-day this was a third conviction that I had about their formal outside way of worship I had then an opportunity to come into one of those assemblies that fast-day while that prayer was reading at which present this thought came strongly upon mee Is this a worship in spirit and truth which thy soul when it is upon the wing with God cannot joyn with all for I could not joyn with the words then read in that formost prayer Upon which I even melted in my spirit and fell into shedding of tears resolving to seperate from and come no more to joyn in such a way of worship until I had very diligently searched into the true way of Gods worship as it is written in his blessed word and in order there unto I made use of all the best books I could get that were then published to that purpose and also called in the help of many Godly Ministers of several judgment but when all this was done I was still unsatisfied in that behalf And then did I cry unto the Lord to teach mee and it was by the Lord set upon my heart that I must not do any thing in the way of his worship but what I had ground for in his holy word that Gods Servants were alwayes to observe his pattern in all that they do to him and that Scripture was much set upon my heart Rev. 22. vers 18 19. For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophesy of this
in giving in such sweet returus of prayer let him alone have the praise and be ye all incouraged and stirred up to pray continually and be very watchful that if at any time God do move you to do any thing do it with all your might according to the assistanco the Lord gives you for I have found it a great grieving of the spirit to put it of with delayes through carnal reasonings of the flesh which indeed vvould have hindreed mee in offering of these few experiences to the view of the vvorld but vvhen God vvas pleased to give me a heart to it and I set upon it vvith a resolution in his strength to go through it not with standing all opposition Oh! then was the Lord pleased to come in again and fill my soul with peace and joy unspeakable and full of glory which was to my great refreshment I being then in a strange Land Holand seperated from Country kindred and fathers house yea there and then did our good God according to what I had wont to have give into my spirit heavenly Allelujas both night and day with many sweet Instructions from him self when it was with us as it were a time of famine of the word our Teathers being removed into corners and thrown into prisons in the Year 1662. O! how was I then stirred up by the teachings of that good Spirit often to praising and often to very earnest prayer as for my self so for his poorasslicted persecuted people and then also I found my heart much enlarged to love and to do good and lay out my self for sa ints of all perswasions yea and all others also as I had opportunity And upon this ground because my dear Redeemer the Lord Jesus hath set mee a pattern to do good to all and what talent soever we do recieve we must lay it out to his praise if it be but one and it shall be increased this I have had experience of be not backward to improve thy talent because another may have more then thou that springs from a root of pride and negligence is the way to loose what thou hast but look up to God for a blessing upon the right use of what thou hast received and if he seeth it good that thou mayest better honnor him with more he will give in thee in his own way and time for then shall ye know if ye follow on to know the Lord. Hose 6. 3. It is also promised that they who be planted in the house of the Lord like a watered Gardin shall they grow and florish and bring forth fruit in their old age Psa 92 12 13. Further o let all the beloved of the Lord take a specialcare of every Gospel ordinance and commandment of our Lord to hold forth what light you have received for there is non of the ordinances of the Gospel to be slighted for they hold out unto us those choyce priviledges that vvere purchased for us vvith the precious blood of Jesus Christ I have found great peace and injoyed much of Gods presence in vvaiting upon him in the vvay of his appointments and I have found the Lord not leaving but teaching of mee vvhen I out of conscience have forborn vvhere they vvere not tobe injoyed according to the rule of the Gospel and expose my self to any suffring to injoy them in the purity of them and indeed God doth take special notice of them vvho they be and vvhere they dvvell Revel 2 13. that in sore persecuting and suffering times hold fast his truths and do not deny his name Mal. 3 16 and hath promised that they vvho keep the vvord of his patience shall be keept in the hour of temptation And vvhen he hath humbled us he vvill shevv us the pattern of his house the goings out and the comings in thereof and the fashions Lawes and ordinances thereof that we may do them Ezek. 43 11. And the time doth hasten that God will turn to the people a pure Language And all shall know the Lord from the least to the greatest And he will lead the blinde in a way that they know not he will make darkness become light and crooked things streight and bitter things sweet and hard things easy and this he will do and not forsake us Further let none be discouraged to do their duty though never so weak yet if thou beest acted by the Spirit of God weak meanes often times becomes effectual to accomplish great things for by experience also I know when some persons have been praying together that one being senceable of the state of the other and mourning over their sin before the Lord God have made use of those very mournings and breathings to convince the other of their sinful state with the danger of it and thereby have been caused to turn from sin unto the Lord whose eyes were never opened before One Maid who by this meanes was convinced and said nothing at present but after prayer retiring herself to her Bible with a purpose to see what word of comfort she could find there and it pleased God to hand to her that place Rom. 8 13. For if ye live after the flesh ye shall die but if ye through the Spirit do mortisy the deeds of the body ye shall live which word God did make very powerful and effectual to help forward his work upon her soul All these speak forth the freeness of Gods rich grace therefore who ever readeth and under standeth what is in this free workings of God good Spirit let him alone have all the praise and glory and the Lord inclined my heart every day more and more to praise him for his unchangeable love in Jesus Christ therefore let them that read this give God praise for this undeserved mercy and let me have a share in your prayers that I may be filled with a spirit of praise for none have more cause then I to speak well of his great and holy name and that I may honour God that little time that I have to live upon the earth and that in all changes For if God sees affliction to be good for mee I desire not to dispise his chastizements for I have found more strength in a great affliction then in a little one and my soul hath been filled with joy out of measure Therefore if we be brought to this take joyfully the spoiling of our goods knowing we have a better inheritance and the giving up all to the will of God who gave all to us we shall have all given to us with advantage oh the fulness of him that filleth all in all but I am nothing and can do nothing no longer then he doth assist therefore praise him for ever more And since I was taken of from my incumbrances in the world and had more time to spend in the wayes and work of God waiting on him for more of himself the Lord according to his promise hath revealed himself more abundantly and I have
I would have thee Courteous Reader to ponder in thy heart to vvit the gift of singing spiritual Songs and Hymnes whih she prâ—sents thee with some instances of in her Book here and there occasionally touching which Administration I am willing for thy â—dification to say 1. That singing of Psalmes Hymnes and Spiritual Songs bâ—ing an Ordinance of Gods vvorship ought to be performed by a gift and the assistance of the Spirit as well as prayer 1. Cor. 14 12 15. What is it then I vvill pray vvith the Spirit c. I vvilising vvith the Spirit c. Now as to take a book and râ—ad a prayer out of it or to say a prayer without the Book is not to pray in the Spirit so to read a Psalme in a Book and sing it or to sing the same Psalme without the Book is not to sing in the Spirit If the singing of Psalmes be a part of Gods worship as doubtless it is then it ought to be performed by assistance of the spirit for the true worshippers ought to worship God in spirit and truth John 4 23 24. 2. That Christians ought to sing Spiritual Songs and Hymnes as well as Psalmes unto the Lord And that with grace in their hearts Col. 3 16. for the melody which the Lord loveth iâ— in the heart rather then in the voyce Eph. 5 19. 3. They who performe this part of Gods worship whether they speak unto themselves in private or unto others more publickly ought to have the word of Christ to dwell richly in them yea and to be filled with the Spirit as the Apostle testifieth Ephes 5 vers 17 18 19 20 and Coloss 3 vers 16. I have known some other Godly and gracious Christians besides this grave and holy Matron who have this gift of Singing and I my self have some experience of this kinde of Anoynting of the Spirit of praise which will I hope ere long be powred forth upon the sons and daughters of Zion And then they will praise Jehovah singing to the Lord a new Song and his praise in the Congregation of Saints as is prophesied Psal 149 1 2 5. and Isai 51 11. and 52 1 8. c. The holy Spirit can dictate the Matter yea and words of praise and singing as well as the matter and words of prayer And why may not the Lord assist a poor gracious humble soul to sing in the Spirit as well as to pray in the Spirit seeing there nothing too hard for God to do It was by many and is still by some denyed that there is any such thing as a Spiritual gift of prayer save onely that vvhich is acquired And yet the gracious experience of many Godly persons doth testify that there is such a gift of the Spirit called a spirit of supplication which is powred forth upon the Lords people And although many nay most Godly Christians do not believe there is any such Spiritual gift of â—â—nging as I have here intimated yet some few poor gracious humble soules have good Experience that there is sometimes a measure of the holy Spirit powred upon them where by they are so filled with the Spirit that they break forth into singing Pray therefore that thou mayest sing and praise the Lord when the Redeemed of the Lord shall return and come with singing to Zion Isa 51 11. And the Children of Zion be joyful in their King Psal 149 1. Unto whom be glory and dominion for ever AMEN So prayeth he who waiteth for his Kingdome and Coming HANSERD KNOLLYS ERRATA PAg. 1. Line 8 9. read forbearance line 16. r. sinned l. 19. r. petty Pag. 3. line 1. r. I was stirred line 3. 4. r. to me towards Heaven Pag. 4. l. 7. r. stumblest Pag. 6. l. 1. r. heed Pag. 7. l. 6. r. Christening Pag. 8. l. 25. 26. r. unbelief Pag. 9. l. 12. read renewings These and some other litteral mistakes the Reader is desired to mend in the perusal of this Book Christian Womans experiences of the glorious working of Gods free Grace I Had once hard thoughts of the people of God yet being on a time perswaded to go to hear them I went though not out of love to them but to vvatch vvhat I could observe and being then over perswaded against them and the Ministers Text that then preacht was Rom. 2 4 5 6. or Dispisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbeacance and long suffering not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee unto repentance but after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up to thy self wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous Judgment of God who will render to every man according to his deeds Verily at this opportunity the dread of God did much smite upon my heart that I had so long sinnend against his patience and goodnesz He had this passage that the sword of the Lord hung as in a twine threed to cut of all pitty swearers and I having been one that durst not swear great oathes but small ones I was addicted to I thought it met with my particular condition Then had I little acquaintance with any that feared the Lord unless it were one family and they were much afraid of me for a season because I had been so vain Then was I cast upon the Lord alone who did much support mee by his grace blessed be his name yet the very first night after he began to work upon my heart I fell under this temptation that I should not eat any more but rather die and then I should cease from sinning against the Lords goodness I then cast away my prayer-book for it did not reach my necessities and I cried unto the Lord alone to teach mee to pray Then did I endeavour to keep close to the best teaching ministery I could find I was very ignorant yet did search the Scriptures diligently but found them very dark to mee I dayly saw a more clear discovery of my sinful nature and then began to be sorely perplexed with feavs that I could not be a child of God because I knew not how to get victory over my sin and though I used all meanes I could yet my corruptions would sometimes break forth which made mee often times ready to dispare and to cast of all But one day amongst the rest the Lord made mee resolve though he kild mee yet I would trust in him he made mee also desire of him that if he would not save mee yet that he would not let mee go back again into sin for the sence of Gods goodness was much upon my heart Then in several Sermons God was pleased to speak peace to my poor soul yet after through the violence of temptations I often questioned my condition sometimes I was tempted to murder my self sometimes to starve my self yet the Lord upheld mee for I could not make my case known to any but God for the space of two years all which season I was wonderfully kept by
book if any man shall adde unto these things God shall adde unto him the plagues that are written in this book and if any man shall take away from the words of the Book of this Prophesy God shall take away his part out of the Book of life and out of the holy Citty and from the things which are written in this book well still I was put upon it to continue seeking the Kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof and the promise that all other tâ—ingt should be added unto mee Then did I with some others seek the Lord by fasting and prayer for councel what we should do and wheter we should go to injoy communion with the Lord in the way of his pure worship and the Lord was pleased in love to answer my desirs in a wonderful manner for being then intangled with a house of which my Husband had a lease for some years and upon that account was unwilling to remove not knowing how to dispose of that house But yet the Lord was pleased in a short time to make him willing that I should remove if I could get of that lease and some goods I had which the Lord soon holp mee in by sending one unexpectedly the very next day after my Husband declared his willigness for my removal upon those conditions who took of the lease of the house of our hands with those goods and so I was made free So forth with I removed to a place where I did injoy the heating of a good man preach and had the sweet benefit of some private meetings which was much refreshing unto mee but yet two things I was very earnest with God for 1. One that I might be filled with the clear witness and full assurance of the eternal Spirit 2. And the other that I might injoy more full and close communion vvith God in all his blessed ordinances in both vvhich God vvas pleased to ansvver mee in some measure as to the first he did let mee see that I had sinned against him in that I again questioned that assurance vvhich before he had given mee in and then he brought vvith most vvonderful renevving povver those Scripturs vvhich many years before at several times under several ordinances vvere set vvith much povver and evidence upon my heart But first God vvas pleased to shevv mee that it vvas onely unbeief that had caused mee at the appearance of temptation and corruption to question his love and doubt about his kindness and so to conclude against my self But the Lord did shevv me that all this doubting vvas from my evil heart of unbelief the sence of vvhich one morning especially God did set upon my spirit to the breaking of my heart so that for three dayes together I vvas greatly afflicted in my spirit and continued crying unto God as one that could not be anij longer contented vvithout the Light of his countenance vvith a renevving seal of his Love long sought vvith sighes prayers and tears and in the third day morning he did send the comforther the Spirit vvhich vvith invvard light life and povver set upon my heart these follovving Scriptures 1 John 3 2. Now are wee the sons of God and it doth not yet appear what wee shall be But rather rejoyce because your names are written in heaven Luke 10 vers 20. And who soever will let him come and take of the watters of life freely Revel 22. 17. And my grace is sufficient for thee 2 Cor. 12 9. Oh! I cannot utter the joy that then was in my heart by the mighty operation of the spirit And then after that this word came upon my spirit and grieve not the holy Spirit whereby thou art sealed unto the day of redemption and then God did answer mee that there was sufficiency in his grace in Christ to pardon all my sins past present and to come Then as to my other desire which was aftet more communion with God in his ordinances After waiting the Lord was pleased to set it upon my heart to believe that my habitation should be removed and that I should injoy my desire by the time called Easter and so it was accordingly and I through mercy after I had gotten the renewigs of the seal and clear witness of the Spirit lived for about a quarter of a year as it were in Heaven upon earth but then began a cloud again to araise and I was under the buffetings of some sore temptations God with drawing in a great measure though not the witness of the Spirit yet the com forts of his Spirit which before I did injoy and I conceive this might be the cause of it which I wish all others may take heed of for it cost mee deare under that sweâ—t soul refreshing communion I had with our heavenly Father I gave way to some doubtings and questionnings whither there was not a delusion in the thing I then injoyed This temptation lasted some six dayes and I had no peace day nor night when I was awake to think that I should grieve so good a God and cause him to depart from mee And Satan not changing his weapons made mee think that there was something in mee that I did not so fully resist him for when our dear Lord Jesus was tempted he by his powerful resistance made him to change them So I lay mourning before the Lord but could not set to praying for the violence of this temptation Then mysleep dâ—puted and I grew sick then God gave mee to mind that Abrahams wâ—râ— lay before mee when he went to offer sacrifice he was to drive away the fowles Gen. 15. this work the Lord directed mee to do by laying hold upon Jesus Christ who had prayed for mee though I could not now pray for my self Jo. 15 v. 17 19. And so soon as my heart was brought to believe this I was presently delivered and in all this temptation the Lord hid not his face from mee blessed be his name And then as the Lord carried mee over the Sea where I did injoy further and fuller communion with himself in his ordinances he gave mee another occasion for the exercise of saith and Patience For whilst I was upon that voyage the vessel that I was in was pursued with enemies and troubled with contrary winds so that we were in great straits But God gave me to believe that he that delivered Paul out of his straits would also deliver us out of ours and so it was blessed be his name and so very safely was I carried unto that place that the Lord called mee unto But presently after I was there arrived the Lord was pleased to exercise mee with several afflictions First by taking away a child by death and then by laying upon my self such a distemper that my joynts and sinnews were by fits bound up that I could not stirre them nor take any rest while it lasted my pain was so great no Doctor could do mee any good though several physitians
words following Awake therefore to righteousness This was again brought to mind in January 1662. The Lord is near at hand And will afflict now very sore By sea and like by land And this seemes to agree with and is a further addition to what wa's given mee in before in the Year 1657. which is as followeth There is a time approaching near at hand That men shall be in fear by sea and land There is a time there will be alteration And this same time doth hasten to this nation Let now my children hearken to my will And they shall see I will be with them still These with many more such things came upon my spitit and then after seeking the Lord he was pleased to shew mee by degrees what was the work of the day for I am a stranger and a Pilgrim therefore I seek sor a Kingdom whose Buylder and Maker is God I desire not to set up the Idol of covetâ—ousness but to have it to be my meat and drink to do the will of my Father which is in heaven and 't is my onely desire to deny my self and to honor him seeking to know the present work of the day some Scriptures with many waity considerations were set upon my heart Hezekiahs prayers and tears which were accepted of God when his heart was broaken A broaken and a comrite heart is acceptable in the sight of God and he will dwelâ— with such Isa 57 15. rend your hearts and not your garments and turn to the Lord indeed when much of the sorm of Godliness appears but the power is waming then it is a time to mourn and in some it hath been so in all ages theresore Gods Prophet was bâ—d cry aloud and spare not Isa 58 1. VVhen sinlies hiden in the heart nothing is accepted Isai 58 2. Yet yoe seek mee early and desire to know my wayes as a nation that did righteousness read and mind the whole Cnap Isa 15 16. Cease to do evil saith the Lord and learn to doe well c. But unto the wicked God saith what hast thou to do to declare my statutes or that thou shouldest take my covenant in thy mouth seenig thou hatest to be refâ—rmed then it came upon my heart that the duty of the present time was for the people of God to be very much in these following things The work of the day 1. First to be watchful that the caâ—es of this world and the deceitfulness of riches make us not to forget the coming of Christ and the glory that shall then be revealed 2. Secondly be moderate in all things the Lord is at hand be patient and act much faith be much in prayer do good lay up treasures in heaven these be all very weighty things 3. Be much in humiliation seek not great things for your selves in a day when God is pulling down God pronounceth a 〈◊〉 to them that are at case in Sion that put far away the evil day and cause the seat of violence to come near A mos 6. vers 3 4 5 6. that lie upon beds of Ivory and stretch themselves upon their couches and eat the lambs out of the flock and the calves out of the midst of the stall and so fill themselves in seasting delighting in Musick and drinking wine in bowles but are not grieved for the afflictions of Joseph And the same evil the Prophet Isaiah complaines of also in the 22 of Isa vers 5 9 12 13 14. In that day the Lord God of Hâ—asts called to weeping and mourning and to baldness and girding with sackâ—loath and behold joy and 〈◊〉 slâ—ying oxâ—n and killing of sheep c. In what day was this you may sâ—e in the 5 and 9 verses it was a day of trouble and â—teading down and peâ—plexity But see how the Lord takes notice of this their contrary â—â—â—riage in the 14 verse he chargeth it upon them as such an iniquity as he tells them shall not be purged from them till they dye verse the 14. It is said when the Judgments of God are abroad in the earth the inhabitants thereof shall learn righteousness But it is threatened they shall have no peace who go on in the wayes of sin and wickedness but all that would have peace must come from sin unto Jesus Christ and walk in the way of peace by this way we hide in the rock and enter into the secret chambers where God had promised to keep us till his indignation be over past Then benig troubled in my spirit the Lord was pleased to give in these following promises as special comforts against those great and publique calamities which were coming I even I am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake and will not remember thy sins Isai 34 25. I also will leave in the midst of thee an afflicted and poor people and they shall trust in the name of the Lord. Zeph. 3 12. And they shall be mine saith the Lord in the day that I make up my Iewels and I will spare them as a man spareth his own son that serveth him Malachy 3 17. And the Lord shall guide thee continually and satisfy thy soul in drought and make fat they bones and thou shall be like a wattered garden and like springs of watter whose watters faile not Isa 58 11. And Moses said unto the people Fear ye not stand still and see the salvation of the Lord which he will shew to you to day for the Egyptians whom you have seen to day you shall see them again no more â—or ever Exod. 14 13. The name of the Lord is a strong Tower the Righteous run into it and is safe Prov. 18 10. They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strentgh they shall mount up with wings as Eagles they shall run and not be weary and they shall walke and not faint Isa 40 31. Also the Lord set it upon my heart how the people of God ought to caâ—ry it in such a day of calamity namely that they ought to have upon their hearts a deep sence of sin which is the cause of sorrow as Lots righteous soul was grieved with the unclean conversation of the wicked therefore God took care of him and he was preserved when others were destroyed with the firy storme of Gods Also God is pleased to set a mark upon the fore-heads of them that mourn for the abomination of the times Also it was given me in to believe that God would be a wall of fire about his people with this promise That all things shall work together for good to them that love God who are the called according to his purpose Rom. 8 28. And the Lord said All things were made for himself and nothing shall be destroyed vvithout mee And God appeared unto Abraham saying I am God alsufficient c. Gen. 17 1. Let my word be a light to thy feet and a Lanthorn to thy pathes for I will keep them in perfect peace whose
found that a chearfull watchful diligent spirit in ones general and particular calling is a great help to prevent mispending time for of idleness comes no good therefore it hath been my practice that if I can do no good nor receive good not to stay in that place long Oh! let us be wary how we spend our precious time for it hat a lock before but none behind I am of a fearful timerous spirit naturally but I find it a great help to dash Babilons brats in the first rice I was about 14 years in the pangs of the new birth before I received the witness of the spirit in which time I was exceeding troubled with my unbelieving heart through entertaining false fears and indeed some thing of Jesus Christ was in mee all that while Althoug sometimes I could not with comfort be hold him through that thick cloud of my many Iniquities and I never found Satan more foyled and my own corruptions more subdued then when I by faith could look up unto Gods unchangeable love in Jesus Christ though I be a poor changeable creature and verily I have found great gain in true Godliness And now friends give me leave to tell you these are mine experiences and I fear it would be burthen some to you if I should be larger which I could be but give me leave to tell you the conclusion of all what I endeavour after which is to press after the mark of the high calling to deny my self and look up to him that is perfect and who presents all his perfect without spot or wrinkle Not to him that worketh onely but to him that believeth for he is holy I desire to observe all the Commands of Christ as my rule of life but I am not here by justified but alone by a righteousness out of my self there fore I say none but Christ not by workes of rightcousness that we do but by faith are we saved that not of our selves it is the guift of God for he that kindleth a fire and composeth himself about with the sparks thereof he shall lie down in sorrow Isa 50 11. for a man may do much in outward performances and yet not have a heart right with God the foolish virgins had lamps of profession as well as the wise but they had not oyle so the young man in the Gospel said to Christ he had observed all the Commandments from his youth what lacked he yet but to deny himself and to part with what he had for Christ to take up the cross and to follow him which he could not do except Christ had given him a righteous heart for all his outward seeming righteousness So the Scribes and Pharisees blamed Câ—rist for all his righteous actions but could not see the Idol in thâ—r own hearts for all their righteousness sprung not from a right root nor was done by a right rule nor to a right end 1. First they had not grace in their hearts 2. Secondly neither did they do what they did by the rule of the word of God but by their own rule 3. What they did was for their own glory to get them praise from men and not to the glory of God Amos 4 4 5 6. the which is an abomination to the Lord this sacrifice God is weary of it is as the â—ffering of Swines blood and the cutting of a Dogs neck before the Lord this made Cains sacrifice to be unacceptable in the sight of God mans righteousness is as monstruous cloathes and filthy raggs that comes â—ot not from a heart sanctified where Christ dwels al though it be garnished with never so much parts and guifts the Lord looks upon the inward righteousness of the heart Parts and guifts may cease but the least measure of true grace shall hold out to the end And what soever is parts and not grace bear not these following Characters upon them such have not the spirit now the spirit is Truth light and love 1. First the spirit of truth joynes with the vvord of truth if an Angel from heaven should bring any other doctrine we are not to receive it and them that believe and trust in the promise it leads into all truth wait for the accomplishment of the promise of the spirit to teach you all things and bring all things to your remembrance which he hath promised shall remaine with us alwayes John 14 16. This is a good antidote against error this teaching for the most part abides and formes the soul into it self The more of this truth and light comes in the more a soul abhorres it self sees it's own emptiness and Christs fulness The more of this light comes into the soul the more it thirsteth after light The more knowledg it hath of God the more it loves God which conformes it into his image and the more it delights in God and loves them most that have most of God in them Ps 16. all my delight is in the Saints and them that are excellent in the earth The true spirit delights in all the commands of God which shews true love to God if you love me keep my Commandments Jo. 14 15 16. and I will pray the Father and he shall give you another Comforter that he may abide with you for ever It is a meek and a quiet spirit it hates pride and lifting up it sees enough in it self dayly to humble it It s full of love to all that God loves though differing from them by this shall all men knovv that you are my Disciples if you have love one to another Joh. 13 35 We know that vve are passed from death to life because we love the brethren 1. Joh. 3 14. Now the reason why we should cherish this grace of love to God his people and all men are these First because without love which is charity we are but as sounding brass or tinckeling Cymbals all we do without this is nothing 2 Cor. 13. Secondly because Christ hath said because Iniquity shall abound the love of many shall wax cold in the last dayes Mat. 24. 12. Thirdly because it is one of Christs last and great Commandments John 13 34. 1. of Joh. 2. 7. 8. Fourthly it renders us much like unto our Master Christ Jesus Acts. 10 38. who went about doing good to all let us labour to follow his example shevv pitty to them that God hath not yet shewed so much pitty to as he hath done unto us do good to them that hate you and pray for them that dispitefully use you Mat. 5. 44 45. These were Gods teachings to mee in the absence of faithful Teachers when they were removed into corners Which was a sore affliction to mee but I look at what mercy God afoards mee in all afflictions seing I am unvvorthy of the least mercy for it vvere a righteous thing vvith God to cut us of and I marvailed at his patience and long suffering vvith mee and all others I find by experience that reading
the Scripture before prayer many times quickeneth the heart to Christ And to meditate on Gods mercies to our soules and bodyes and what great things Christ hath suffered to purchase these mercies for us is a great help to stir up to that heavenly duty of praising and thankfulness which is a maine duty I would stir up my self and others unto because our hearts are apt to be very backward unto it and secondly because it is a duty to be done at all times In all things give thankes yea in afflictions For God hath promised all shall worke together for good to them that love God Thirdly to be filled with the Spirit of praises makes the soul to live in heaven while it is on earth verily we had need be stirred up to this duty for he that offers praise glorifies God Psal 50. last verse And Iesus Christ complaines against the neglect of it in that place where the ten Leppers were clensed and but one did returne thankes saith Christ was there not ten cleused but where are the nine O! athankful frame doth compose the heart to great contentedness in every condition it is of a divine nature it stirres up the graces of God in the soul as love and faith with hope in God and charity to others Therefore pray for the Spirit of God to put the heart into a praising frame for there 's need of the exercise of much heavenly wisdome in the performance of this duty for â—t is a spiritual work Another experience I have had that it is our duty and very profitable to watch against all evil thoughs these ften grieve the holy Spirit of God as of old he complained how long shall vain thoughts lodg within you and God looking upon man beholding what was in his heart and seeing his thoughts to be evil onely and continually and it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth and it grieved him at the heart and God said I will distroy man whom I have created from the facre of the earth Gen. 5 6. And then down comes the flood of Gods displeasure upon the old world not for sinful actions only but thoughts also Therefore keep your hearts with all diligence Prov. 4 23. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh And in the multitude of words is sin I would desire all to take heed of idle words and mind well what ye speak when and how avoid all needless speeches and put far away all vain foolish jesting an evil which my self was some times very prone too and as too many do harm by I endeavored to make my self and others merry but alas 't is sinful mirth and it will bring sadness here or els which is worse end in sorrow hereafter thus was I convinced of this evâ—l being upon a joyrney meeting one that was a stranger to mee thinking to make him and my self laugh spoake jestingly to him but he presently fella swearing and cursing and railing which when I heard wounded me to the heart that I by my folly should provoke the poor man so to sin against God my mirth soon turned into mourning And while I mourned before the Lord over this my great evil which had produced such a sad effect God was pleased to set this upon my heart Cannot I make thee more merry with heavenly and spiritual joy then thou canst make thy self with such foolish vain and sinful mirth And the Lord hath since filled mee with that sweet refreshing joy that is a thousand times better to mee then all sinful mirth Further in reference to words I would commend unto yow some Scripture rules Iam. 1 26. compared with Math. 12 27. from whence we may observe that when any person doth utter words that be vain earthly or froward it doth plainly manifest that there is an earthly vain and froward heart whiâ—h is an abomination to the Lord Prov. 11 20. and in Iam. 1 19. The Apostle doth perswade Christians to be swift to hear but slow to speak and slow to wrath And Jesus doth exhort his followers that their yea should be yea and their nay nay saying that what soever is more is evil And Iams 1 21. bids us lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness that is to say what ever is more then needful in words apparel and diet yea and in all things and what ever profession any person may make if they bridle not their tonge they deceive themselves and their Religion is vain hath God through his free grace passed his distinguishing love upon a little Remnant doubtless 't is their duty then to distinguish themselves from others in their words habit and in their whole conversation so to walke as becometh the Gospel Phil. 1 27. Surely if persons were awakened by the voice of God that speaks lowd in the present afflictions they would so doe 't now is not a time for any of Gods Children to continue their superfluities when many do want necessaries Let me intreat such to read and mind what is written in Rom. 12 1 2. And 1 Pet. 2 11. If we could but be moderate in the use of all things what good Stewards should we be of the manifold blessings of God which he hath betrusted us with and we must give an account of in the day of the Lord. Prosperity hath made many to glory in the flesh and exalt themselves in which vain glory some still do continue although the great Eternal God hath and doth testify from heaven against it but if it be not repented of and departed from God wil turn it into shame Hosea 4 7. As they were increased so they sinned against me therefore will I change their glory into shame it s now a trying time and all persons by their conversations will discover what they are and were ever the deeds and workes of the flesh appear and are alowed 't is evident there is not the Spirit of God in them And they who have not the Spirit of Christ are none of his And 't is not a talking of but walking in the Spirit will help against the fulfilling the lusts of the flesh and manifest who are the true Children of God Oh! that persons were wise to consider their latter end then surely they would not neglect the knowledg of those things that belong to their peace but chuse that better part that shall never be taken from them Which would make them happy for ever Oh! that all would be persuaded to commune with their own hearts and consider their own wayes And to mind the dreadful Judgments of God and his vials of wrath that shall be powred out against sin and sinners surely they would see it is high time to departe from pride vain glory coveteousness oppression hypocrisy mallice and all sin For verily God is visiting for these things and for persons still to continue therein may it not be feared and justly exspected that God should increase his Judgments and punish
it comes out of love from our blessed Saviour And let not this be dispised because it is the Spirits working in the weakesâ— vessel for Christ did not reject the woman though weak ignorant and sinful and where he hath forgiven much he maketh them love much and follow him to the lasâ— especially if they keep the word of his patience holding fast to every truth of God though it be in an evil time when truth is dispised Mary followed Christ to the last and the Lord did so assist her with his Spirit who shewed her strong affections to him gonig early in the mornning to the sepulchre and Christ put this honour upon her that she must bring the first glad tidings of the Gospel of the resurrection unto the Disciples And his appearance to her in that season when she knew not where to seek him Christ herein shewed his great Love to sinners for she being a poor ignor an t woman though full of affection did as many of us do now a dayes seek the living among the dead but where Christ keeps up the affections of a soul to himself he manifests more of the knowledg of himself and Christ doth testify in Iohn 4. Thâ—â— it was his meat and drink to do his fathers will and that was to teach the poor tâ—â— knowledg of his will And when he made known himself to that poor woman 〈◊〉 affections where so enlarged that she goes and calls others ver 34. thus Christ finished the work of his father to take care of the weakest of his stock that as the woman was first in the transgression she might have first knowledg of the resurrection the guift of the well of watter which springs up unto everlasting life and this guift God is pleased to give it unto women as well as unto men And he doth require that they should honour him as well as men for the free grace of God in Christ as welâ— to the one as the other and 't is his free grace that I am what I am and if this small mite be not accepted by all I shall take it as an high honnor to suffer for well-doing for â—hough in my self I am low and find the flesh would hinder and my memory bad yet I can through grace say the spirit hath been my remembrance and in the simplicity of my heart I have done this and out of obedience to my good God which makes the Son of righteousness to shine on the weak and on the strong And truely I have nothing to glory in for I never did see my self so weak as now and since I had communion night and day with God I never was so much in self-loathing and abhorring as now therefore praise the Lord with mee for I am a poor sinful creature and I desire that all that fear the Lord to whom this shall come would pray earnestly to God for me that I may stand fast in this evil day and may walk humbly blamelesly and very harmlesly towards all so that I may honour him which hath honoured me with his Son to whom be glory and praise for ever Now to testify to all that I have received from the Lord that gift of singing as well as the gift of prayer and any other therefore I shall present to your view some of those Hymnes and spiritual Songs with an account how and when they were given in and so shall leave it to the spiritual to Iudge As I was waiting on the Lord in that Ordinance of the Lords Supper this following short Hymne was immediately given in O Now my soul go forth with praise For God excepteth thee alwayes Thy life is bound up now in mee My precious death hath set thee free This Testimony I thee give At this bread was broaken so was I That thou in mee mightest never dye My blood doth justify the same That thou mayest praise my holy Name My Covenant I have made with thee So that thou art now whole set free Sin nor Saâ—han cannot thee charge Because my love hath thee inlarg'd So sure as I am plas 't above So sure art thou now of my love Your waiting shall be upon me till I your souls hath filled and in the way of righteousness you shall be made to yeeld Another time I having been waiting on the Lord in breaking bread And soon after was given in this following THE Spring is come the dead is gâ—ne Sweet streams of love doth flow There is a Rock that you must knock â—rom whence these stream do go The Banquets sâ—t the King is câ—me To entertain his Guest All that are weary of their sins He waites to gâ—ve them rest Then come and take your fill of love Here 's joy enough for all To see our King so richly clad And gâ—ve so loud a call Here 's Wine without money or price Here 's milk to nurish babes You may come to this banquet now And fâ—ede of it most large Then comfâ—rt you your selves in him T is sweet to see his love That they that are redeemed by him May live so free above And while the afflicting hand of God was upon mee in some measure this following was given in one evening as a song of instruction AFflictions are not from the dust Nor are they in vain sent But they shall work the work of him That is most nobly Bent. Then let thine eyes look upon him Which worketh in the dark And let thine heart imbrace his love Least thou from him should'st start Although thou canst not see his work Yet waite on him with joy For none shall hinder now his work Nor none shall him Anoy Thou must be willing to take up The cross to follow him And waite till he will make his cup To flow up to the brim Seeing thou art now called unto The purpose of his will Let not afflictions trouble thee Believe and stand thou still If that the Lord did not thee love He would not this pains take To let thee see his grace in thee And also thee awake It sâ—owers away the drâ—sâ—â— from thee And takes away thy tinne It makes thy soul sit for to hear The voice of thy sweet King It makes the soul further to know The Sonship of his grace And weanes the soul from things below That it mâ—y seek his face It puts the wise to see his work And puts him in the way That he may forthwith seek the Lord Without further delay It makâ—s him now resolve upon Obedience to his grace And watchful in the way he goes That he may seek his face It makes him look for strenght from God To heale his sliding back It makes him look up to the Rock For that vvhich he dot lack This was November the 20. in the Year 1656. ZION is God's precious plant The Lord vvill vvatter it every day O! Zion is God's holy one It shall not vvhet her nor decay Zion is that fenced vvell A Tovver that none shall throvv dovâ—n O! Zion
is that glorious hold That God vvill keep both safe and sovvnd Zion is that pleasant Plant That God vvill hedg about each hour O! Zion is Gods heritage And he vvill keep it by his povver Therefore let not thy heart novv faint For Zions sake hold not thy peace For our God vvill hear Zions Plaint Therefore give thy God novv no rest Till thou vvith Zion he hath blest Let Zion knovv her time dravves near She may look up novv vvithout fear Let Zion knovv her God doth live That hath her portion for to give Let Zions Children novv rejoyce And lett hem praises sing O! let them lift up pleasant voyce In honnor to their King Let Zion knovv her God is true That vvill her mercies novv renevv She shall receive great things from him Who is her glory and her King Althoug afflictions should hold on And troubles should arise Yet God vvill ovvn his precious one Their prayers hee 'll not despise Our King shall reigne in righteousness His glory shall shine forth He vvill come forth in Iudgment then For his poor saints comfort Our King shall reigne in glory then He shall himself come up His ennemies then shall fall vvith speed And be made but a puf Then let my people quiet sit And vvait on him vvith joy There is a time dravves near at hand Nothing shall them Anoy THE poor then of the flock shall find a rest And I their God and portion will them bless And they shall to me for a refuge fly And I will be their helpe continually Then shall their souls alone in mee rejoyce That I have made of them my onely choyce I vvill sill them in that day vvith my povver So they shall vvait on me then every hour Their soul shall be as vvattered plants vvith devv And I my mercy vvill to them renevv Their heats shall be ingaged vvith my love For I vvill move in them from povver above This is the portion that I novv vvill give Vnto all those that strifes humbly to live Therefore rejoyce in God your onely guide VVhich in this day of trouble vvill you hide END Awake awake put on my strength And mine owne comelyness Look upon mee for I have Wroght thy deliverance Thou art black but comely in Mine eyes that doth behold Thee swearing mine owne righteousness Which glory can not becould I waited long on thee to see When thou wouldst mee â—mbrace And when thou would'st look up to mee To see my glorious face And now what say'st thou unto mee Have I not done thee good And have not spar'd to set thee free 〈◊〉 own Sons pretious blood Therefore let all thy life be now A sacrifice of praise And to my holyness give up Thy self in all my wayes Let not the World so sad thy heart Nor cast thee down solow For â—f thou wait upon my grace My secrets thou shalt know Be watchful and keep do close to meâ— Thy Garments do not staine And that will be to thy poor soul A certain heavenly gain Take heed of glorying in my love But walk humbly and low â—or it is onely my fulness That makes thee thus to flow There is by pathes to wander in That Sathan would advance But I will keep thee by my power And be thy deliverance Be watchful and keep close to mee My Garments do not soyl For they are thine to cover thee Be watchful then a while OH where shall I find now A people quicken'd still That seek all times to live on God And eck to do his will A people that deny them selves And eck the cross up take That doth delight in God alone And eck the World for sake A people that abhor themselves And over their sins weep A people mourning o'r the Land And doth him dayly seek A people that believes in God By faith drawes vertue still Lay hold on promise which is true Contented with his will A people that the word esteem Keeping close there dayly And for a rule the same doth take When others from it fly Their hearts are fastened on the Lord They for are fuge fly That God vvould novv help by his povver In their extremity Their cries are novv unto the Lord Thy seek in him to hide To take of novv his heavy hand And not let vvrath abide With such a people vvould I spend My life and dayes novv here Oh! think upon thy servant Lord And to me novv dravv near I assure you COURTEOUS READER these are not studed things but are given in immediately FIN †For the confirmation hereof do ye mind these two Scriptures Esai 45 13. and Psalm 89 19.
the power of God alone In this time was I called by my friends into a darck corner of the land full of ignorance yet I was sorely troubled especially when I was overtaken with any sin still I fell down beforâ—â—he Lord bewailing my sins then did the Lord give mee much comfort from this place of Scripture Jer. 31 20. Is Ephraim my dear son is he a pleasant child for since I spake against him I do earnestly remember him still therefore my bowels are troubled for him I will surely have mercy upon him saith the Lord. Now in the place where I was were many Papists and they much endeavoured to have mee of their judgment But God kept mee in a thirsting frame of spirit after the preaching of the word and often cast in my mind that I should Matt. 6 33. First seek the Kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof and all other things should be added Wee had in that place a bad Minister but to God I made my supplication and used what means I could to obtain a better and God was pleased to answer my desires and sent a better to that very place who remained there the time that I stayed under whose honnest teachings I often met with sweet refreshing Then was stirred up by my friends to change my condition to be married to an husband upon which I did earnestly begg of God that I might have one that did fear the Lord that he might be a furtherance to heaven and indeed so hee was For I married with a man that was much in practical diuties yet some difference there was in our judgments which often caused no small trouble in my spirit but it had this effect it caused mee to cry to God and to search the Scriptures so much the more using all means for a â—ight understanding in the things and wayes of God and it became helpful to mee And in this time of my earnest seeking of God alone he was pleased to discover to mee by dreames and visions of the night the uggliness of sin in a far greater manner then ever I saw it before and in dreams brought many Scriptures to mind that did answer some questions and satisfy some doubts that were in my heart and so did cause darkness to become light before mee at that time and this did the Lord do in the absence of other meanes soon after I gained information where the word was powerfully preached but it being something far from mee I had some difficulty to get to it yet it being through grace more to mee then my ordinary food I keept close to opportunities of the word there preached which in an especial manner God was pleased to make very useful unto mee And I injoying often many sweet tasts of the presence of God in his ordinances was carried out through all weathers to wait upon him and this I can truely say from real experience that the worst wheather I went through the more of God I met within his ordinances I remember one very wet day I had much comfort from these words let this incourage others Joh. 1 2 3. Now are wee the sons of God and it doth not yet appear what we shall bee And afterwards while my meditations were something upon Hebrews 6 5 6. I was much stirred up to mind how far an Hypocrite might go in Religion And I began to consider whether or no I had gone any further then such a one might go for I saw plainly that a person might go very far and yet be in a sad state though they may be â—nlightened and tast of the heavenly gist and be partakers of the holy Spirit yea and tast of the good word and also hear the best Preachers gladly as Herod did Iohn the Baptist and as Agrippa did Paul and yet be but almost a Christian Then I being at a Sermon the words of the Text were Marc. 6 vers 20. And he did many things That Minister then shewed that an Hypocrite or a reprobate might do many things but yet a true child of God can do more he named two things in which a child of God goeth beyond an Hypocrite First that he doth as much desire to be holy as happy 2. That he doth as earnestly fet himself against all sin as some Then was I exceedingly taken up in my thoughts about this thing but being carried out to seek the Lord earnestly he was pleased to give in this answer Thou tumblest so much at the stone of assurance that thou forgetest to build then did God let me see that the foundation and top-stone is Jesus Christ and that I must cease from my own workes and take Christ upon his own termes and then entred I into some rest Oh what a knotty piece was I to work upon for until he put forth his mighty power I could not believe and I found nothing stronger then free grace to stricke at the root of my sin Also on another snowy day I going many miles to hear I was refreshed much from these words 2 Cor. 12 9. My grace is sufficient for thee And on another day from these words Luke 10 20. But rather rejoyce because your names are written in heaven And another time aboundance of comfort from that Scripture 1 Cor. 2 9. Eye hath not seen nor ear heard neither hath it entred into the heart of man to conceive the things which God hath prepared for them that love him It was a very sore day when I went to this opportunity and a very bitter Journey I had but God made it exceeding sweet unto mee Also I had a very great fit of a feaver by reason of the trouble of conscience I was under and in the time of that great feaver the Lord was pleased to set that Scripture upon my heart Rev. 22 17. The Spirit and the bride said comm and let him that heareth say come and let him that is a thirst come and whosoever will let him come and take of the watters of Life freely Which did administer so much comfort refreshing to mee from a sence of the freeness of Gods grace being set upon my heart with so much power of the Spirit that I was contrary to the Judgement of Physicians soon raised to my health again For indeed I had at that time been exceedingly troubled in my spirit about my sins which I had been looking back upon for I had made a Catalogue of them and spread them before the Lord for pardon But thinking them to be so many that God would not pardon them I did much desire I might die and go out of the body and not live any Longer in it to encrease mine iniquities And although at this time a good Minister did endeavour to comfort mee yet I put comfort from mee and said it did not belong to mee till the God of all grace was pleased to give it in by the power of his Spirit as besore mentioned and then after our good God had