tho' a Man had the Guilt of as many Sins lying on his Soul as there be drops of Water in the Ocean and if they were of as long Continuance as from the Creation of the World and aggravated with as hainous Circumstances as any of the vilest Sinners in Hell yet there is Merit enough in the Blood of Christ to take away the Guilt of all those Sins and when that is done Merit enough left to purchase as great a Glory as any Saint in Heaven enjoys But let none thereupon presume to go on in Sin for there is not a Word of Comfort in the whole Bible for such an one He that is affraid of too much Grace hath none at all He who is unwilling to be made better is not yet good In the most afflicted Condition of a Saint he hath more reason to question his own Love to God than God's Love to him God takes as much Care of every one of his Children as if he had but one to care for Our Times are in the Hand of God If they were in our Enemies Hands our Afflictions and Trials would be too long if in our own too short But because in the Hand of God Deliverance shall be seasonable and in due time Had we ten thousand Lives and Estates to lose and lay down for Christ one Hour's Communion with him in Glory will recompence for all our Self-denial whatever we have done or suffered That Man lives unlawfully who doth not sometimes abstain from lawful things Make it thy Business to act Grace and then trust God to bring in Comfort God is yours if you are unfeignedly willing to be his He that can from his Heart say Lord I am thine may on good grounds be assur'd that the Lord is his God That Man whom God cannot satisfie nothing can for God is to his People whatever they can desire or need Sight to the Blind Bread to the Hungry Cloathing to the Naked Strength to the Weak a Physician to the Sick Pardon to the Guilty Comfort to the Mourners Life in Death and Everlasting Life after Death When the Devil suggested to a good Man That it was in vain for him to mind God for he should never get to Heaven He replied I will then follow hard after him and keep close to him that I may enjoy as much as possible of God here on Earth Where Sin lies heavy every Affliction will be light 'T was the Saying of the Noble Marquess of Vico Their Money perish with them who think all the Wealth in the World worth one Hour's Communion with Jesus Christ Since no Man can see thee and live Lord let me die said an holy Man that I may see thee and be with thee If your Condition be never so low if your Hearts be lower it is well enough the Issue will be good And while God the Fountain is left you need not much complain for want of a broken Cistern While others live without God in the World a Christian should endeavour to live as without the World in and upon his God The same Love of God which leads one Christian into the Wine-Cellar and gives him Assurance may lead another into a Prison for the Trial and Exercise of his Grace In Prayer if a Man have not a care of the first Wandrings of his Heart from God he will hardly be able to recover himself afterwards 'T was a memorable Saying of a Great Man He may be deceived who thinks to save any thing by his Religion more than his Soul Before a Man is humbled he complains of God's Unkindness to him but afterwards of his own to God God had one Son without any Sin our Blessed Redeemer but never any Son without some Affliction and Suffering Blessed be God we have any thing to deny or lose or count nothing for Christ A Believer prays with Fervency as if he would not be delay'd and then waits patiently as if he had not prayed If you can say God is your God and all that is in the World is his how can your fear Want If he be not All-sufficient why do you call him so If he be why do you not trust in him If the Lord be good to the Soul that seeks him how good is he to the Soul that finds him If saith Jerom my Father and Mother did with Tears intreat me and my Wife hang about my Neck and my Children fall at my Feet to beseech me to forsake Christ I would cast them all off Father Mother Wife and Children and say Farewel all welcome Christ THE following Account of the Conversion of his Niece will give farther Testimony to his Charity Zeal and Diligence to promote Religion in his Family and how God honoured him by the Lustre of an holy Example to recommend serious Godliness to those who saw his Conversation and by his seasonable Counsels to assist the Recovery of one who under great Convictions and Temptations was in Danger to be lost by too long concealing of the State of her Case from such as could advise and direct her A short Account of the Conversion of Mrs. P. F. as she left it under her Hand before her Death I Am now going about to call to mind the great Mercy and Goodness of the Lord towards me the unworthiest of all his Servants to record his Loving-kindness and to make mention of the many and great Deliverances I have had I know not where to begin nor where to make an end I am even swallowed up in Admiration and ready to cry out with David What shall I render to the Lord for all his Benefits especially when I consider my own Vileness by Nature and how I deserved to be cast into Hell as soon as I was born as having an Heart full of Sin Vanity and Rebellion against God being conceived in Sin and born in Iniquity And as if this had not been enough I have added numberless most hainous Transgressions I have reason to bewail the Sins of my Thoughts I was thinking Thoughts of Pride and Vanity as soon as I could think I was running away from God as soon as I could go with my Back towards Heaven and my Face towards Hell After I came to Years of Discretion the more I knew of God the more I sinned against him The Sins of my Youth have been innumerable and very hainous in their Nature so that I have cause to pray with David Lord remember not against me the Sins of my Youth O the precious Time I have lost and the Golden Opportunities that I have squandred away The Light and Love the Mercies and Means of Grace that I have sinned against I have spent the best of my Years in the Service of Sin and in the Neglect of the great Concerns of my Soul I confess when I was but a Child since I had any Understanding I had always some Love to the Ways and People of God and some Delight in Holy Duties and was fearful of
Mat. 7. 7. Psal 30. 18. Joh. 16. 24. Psal 84. 11. Isa 40. 27. Psal 27. 14. Lament 3. 24 25 26. Psal 147. 11. Psal 26. 3 4. Isa 50. 10. Isa 41. 10. Isa 43. 24 25. Isa 44. 22. 1 Joh. 1. 9. 1 Joh. 2. 1. Mark 1. 18 19. Rom. 6. 14. Ezek. 34. 6. Psal 103. 8 9. Job 17. 9. Prov. 4. 18. Phil. 1. 6. Joh. 10. 7. Rom. 16. 20. Heb. 4. 15. These Promises with many more was the Lord pleased to give me in the time of my Distress and Trouble of Spirit and I found them reviving Cordials O how welcome was a Promise to me When I have been ready to despair and to give up all for lost and had nothing to support me then did I take the Bible into my Hand and desire God to direct some sutable Promise to me and opening the Bible the first place I have cast mine Eye upon hath often been a precious and sutable Promise and hath been set home with such Power as wonderfully to comfort me Once being under great Fear and Terror I opened the Bible and the first place I fixed my Eye upon was Isa 54. 4. Fear not for thou shalt not be confounded nor put to shame thou shalt forget the Shame of thy Youth thy Maker is thy Husband the Lord of Hosts is his Name and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel the God of the whole Earth shall he be called for the Lord hath called thee as a Woman forsaken and grieved in Spirit c. For a small Moment have I forsaken thee but with great Mercy will I gather thee In a little Wrath I hid my Face for a moment but with everlasting Kindness will I have Mercy on thee saith the Lord thy Redeemer c. I was wonderfully affected in the reading these sweet Promises and took it as a Voice from Heaven to me because I had desired some such sutable Promise At another time being in great Trouble and fearing I should never hold out but be overcome by Sin and Satan I opened my Bible and the first place I fixed my Eye upon was Isa 41. 10. Fear not for I am with thee be not dismayed for I am thy God I will strengthen thee yea I will help thee yea will uphold thee with the right hand of my Righteousness I cannot express the Comfort I received by this sutable and seasonable Promise One Sabbath-Day Night being still followed with Temptations full of unbelieving Doubts and Fears I was much troubled about it that I who had received such great Mercies should have such vain Thoughts and be so full of Unbelief Notwithstanding the Experience I had of God's Goodness and Mercy to me and the Assurance I had before of his Love I was tempted to think that I was not elected and that therefore all I did was to no purpose and that I should never be saved This was a subtile and strong Temptation Satan did not only labour to drive me off from all Duty but to weaken my Faith and bring me to Despair But the Lord who had many times before wonderfully rescued me from the roaring Lion would not suffer me to be foiled by him but was pleased to present that Scripture to my Eye There is no Temptation has taken you but such as is common to Men and God is Faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted above what you are able but will with the Temptation make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it At another time being greatly troubled with Unbelief that Place in the Revelations was terrible to me The Fearful and Unbelieving shall have their part in the Lake that burns with Fire and Brimstone which is the second Death This made me exceedingly affraid I thought if the Fearful and Unbelieving should perish then surely I should because I was so full of Fears and Doubts and Unbelief But the Lord did not leave me in this great Streight he would not suffer me to be overwhelmed with Sorrow but quickly directed me to a sutable and seasonable Scripture that was as comfortable as the other was terrible 2 Tim. 2. 13. If we believe not yet be abideth faithful he cannot deny himself This Promise was very sweet and sutable to my present Condition neither did I remember there was such a Place before These and many of the fore-named Promises were given me in my Trouble and Distress and the Lord enabled me by his Spirit to make Application of them to my own Soul for my Consolation Certainly I may say with David I had fainted unless I had believed to see the Goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living The Sorrows of Death did compass me about and the Pains of Hell got hold upon me I found Trouble and Sorrow Then called I upon the Name of the Lord O Lord I beseech thee deliver my Soul Gracious is the Lord and righteous yea our God is merciful I was brought low and he helped me Return unto thy Rest O my Soul for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee In the multitude of my Thoughts within me thy Comforts delight my Soul In the Day when I cried thou answeredst me and strengthenedst me with Strength in my Soul Blessed be the Lord because he hath heard the Voice of my Supplication the Lord is my Strength and my Song my Heart trusted in him and I am helped If it had not been the Lord who had been on my side when Satan rose up against me he had surely swallowed me up The Lord has called me out of Darkness into his marvelous Light He hath plucked me as a Fire-brand out of Hell and set me in the way to Heaven So that I may say again and again Great is his Mercy towards me for he hath delivered my Soul from the lowest Hell But O! why is it that I am so little sensible of this great Deliverance How can I look back upon all this without admiring the Free Grace and undeserved Love of God towards such a worthless Worm as I who was an Enemy to him and a Rebel against him and had nothing in me but what deserved Hell O that ever the Lord should from Eternity elect and choose me to Salvation through Jesus Christ That God should pass by thousands and let them alone to perish in their Sins and cast a Look of Love upon me and when I was in my Blood say unto me Live That he should not only give his Son for me but to me That he should take me with the Prodigal from the Trough and with the Beggar from the Dunghil and make me an Heir of Glory When I read that Christ's Flock is but a little Flock and that strait is the Gate and narrow is the Way that leads to Life and few there be that find it I cannot but wonder that I should be in that Number And because I cannot sufficiently admire I will therefore adore my Good God But what Returns should I
or Falshood therein thou wouldst discover it to me and help me to do it aright And now Glory be to thee O God the Father whom I shall be bold from this Day forward to look upon as my God and Father that ever thou shouldst find out such a Way for the Recovery of undone Sinners Glory be to thee O God the Son who hast loved me and washed me from my Sins in thy own Blood and art now become my Saviour and Redeemer Glory be to thee O God the Holy Ghost who by the Finger of thine Almighty Power hast turned about my Heart from Sin to God O Dreadful Jehovah the Lord God Omnipotent Father Son and Holy Ghost thou art now become my Covenant-Friend and I through thine Infinite Grace am become thy Covenant-Servant Amen So be it And the Covenant which I have made on Earth let it be ratified in Heaven April 11. 1667. HENRY GEARING A Pathetical Meditation on the Passion of Christ taken out of Mr. Wadsworth's Remains 8vo abridged and transcribed for his own Vse upon Sacramental Occasions A Way all trifling Worldly Business I must go see my bleeding Lord Come now my Soul look yonder thou wilt soon arrive at bloody Golgotha where thou shalt see thy bleeding dying Saviour to sigh and linger out a dying Life on the Cross in Love for thee This this might O my Soul have been thy Day in which thou might'st have drunk the bitter Cup of the fierce Anger of God! But look yonder there he goes that must drink up the Dregs and all for thee But come my Soul draw up a little nearer stand here and thou wilt see him passing Look there he goes with a Train of Virgins following But see how cruelly these barbarous Jews do use him they make him bear his Cross himself See how they laugh and scoff and wag their Heads as if he were their May-game Look see my Soul come tell me what thou seest O I cannot Sorrow ties my Tongue I cannot speak I see a Troop of Virgins following him their weeping Eyes their blubbering Lips their Sighs and Throbbings speak them Mourners I see my Lord looks towards them and kindly 〈◊〉 their loving Sorrow Weep not for me Ah could they do less than weep to see thine innocent Self among a Herd of Tygers But whither O whither O ye blinded Jews are ye dragging this my Lord My Spirit begins to faint I now can look no longer my Heart now begins to swell with Grief it must now break or I must vent it at my Eyes in Streams Look see the Hammer and Nails the Hammer lift up to strike Bloody Man thou durst not strike sure Surely thou dost not know whose Hands and Feet thou art now piercing it is the Prince and Saviour of the World But look see it is done The Nails are driven to the Head see how the Blood runs trickling down his Hands and Feet and see how hardned Hearts are laughing at it O silly foolish blinded Men what laugh yet See this very Christ you now mock shall be your Judge But come again look and see my Soul what is become of thy nailed and crucified Lord Ah me he is not quite dead look how he gasps and pants for Life O how pale and wan do I see his Cheeks methinks he should be dead for see how weak his Neck is grown that it is not able to support his Head that lies a dying on his bleeding Breast What yet not dead See how he shakes and stirs his dying Limbs What Gasps and Groans do I hear him fetch Hark hark he speaks O let me catch the last Breath of my dying Saviour What saith my Lord What My God my God why hast thou forsaken me He hath been all this while a drinking up the Cup his Father gave him the bitter sowr Cup of his Father's Wrath which I and all the World had else drank But must he endure all this Must he be crowned with Thorns and sweat and bleed and die and all for me This I stand amazed at But there was Necessity for all this either he must be thus dealt with or else my Sins could not be pardoned He must drink up this bitter Cup with all its Dregs or else I must have drunk it up my self It was I that sinned and must have suffered This cursed proud and earthly Heart of mine rebelled and broke the Laws and should have suffered and born the Punishment Had not he stept in and born the Stroak off from me I had been now burning in everlasting Flames and been lingring out this Time in Torments which I am now spending in the sweet Thoughts of my Escape Hath not the Prophet said all this in Isa 53. these Wounds Stripes Bruises he bore for thee O amazing Love and Grace the Son of God loved me better than his Life Was ever Love like to his Love He was a Stranger to me Why did he not let me die But he loved me I was a polluted Sinner methinks he should have loathed me but he did wash me and make me clean again But why did he love an Enemy Or how could he do it I know not why O inexpressible Love O Love past Thoughts He Loves because he will love What ails my Heart I cannot find it stir What! dead under the reviving Thoughts of thy dearest Redeemer Arise shake up thy self and look about thee thou dost not sure see thy Mercy Come away O come away lift up thy drowsie Head I will make thee look and love and e'er I leave thee confess thou lovest him Suppose now for thy Sins the Vengeance of God was just seizing upon thee turning thee into Hell and Christ comes and reveals himself to thee Sinner I love thee I say thou shalt not die Come feel my Heart how it beats towards thee Dost thou not see I have left my Throne and am come down to the Bar where thou standest condemned But why dost thou weep Come let me wipe thine Eyes and bind up thy bleeding and despairing Heart I tell thee thou shalt not die If Heaven will have Blood it shall have mine so it will but spare thine Now the Soul hath not a Word to speak against this Love Thy Son O God hath offered Satisfaction and thou hast accepted it Thou O my Saviour hast laid down thy Life for mine and thy Father and my Father is well pleased with it Blood is paid Justice is satisfied Heaven's Doors are widened thine Arms opened to receive me nothing is wanting but my Heart make it such as thou wilt have it and then take it to thy self Come my Soul the Father thou seest is willing and the Son is willing give but thy Consent and he is thine for ever Fear not thy Hardness Deadness Blindness Loathsomness all these cannot hinder if thou be but willing What stickest thou at What do'st ail Half of this ado would fetch a Heart for the World a little Mire and Dirt and is not
now make to the Lord for all this Mercy Of my self I am not able to think a good Thought it is unlikely then I should make any sutable Return I have nothing of my own but Sin and that is God's Enemy which he perfectly hates I am not my own for I am bought with a Price Therefore if I give my self to him it is but that which was his own before Yet this will I do because I have nothing else to give I will give my Soul and Body to be the Lord's expecting Acceptance only for the Sake and Merits of Jesus Christ Surely God requires nothing of me but what he hath first given to me All that he requireth is but the Reflection of his Love back again when I have had the Comfort of it O what Thanks and Praise should I render to the Lord and say with David Bless the Lord O my Soul and all that is within me bless his holy Name Bless the Lord O my Soul and forget not all his Benefits He forgiveth all thine Iniquities c. Thou art my God and I will praise thee thou art my God and I will extol thee O give Thanks unto the Lord for he is good for his Mercy endureth for ever For he satisfieth the longing Soul and filleth the Hungry with good Things I will bless the Lord at all times and his Praise shall be continually in my Mouth I will love the Lord because he has heard the Voice of my Supplication because he has inclined his Ear unto me therefore will I call upon him as long as I live I will extol thee my God O King I will bless thy Name for ever and ever I will praise the Lord while I live I will sing Praise to my God while I have any Being And now when I look back upon this I cannot but rejoice in the Lord and joy in the God of my Salvation because I hope I have gone through the Pangs of the New Birth and truly enter'd in at the strait Gate and am now going the narrow Way that leads to Eternal Life which I hope to obtain through the Merits of Jesus Christ my Saviour And again When I reflect and look back upon all these Things what Cause have I to bewail the Sins of my Youth and the State of my Unregeneracy which was spent in Sin and Vanity and in those things wherein there is no Profit If God should remember against me the Sins of my Youth he might write bitter things against me If I should live the Age of Methusalah and spend all my Time in weeping the Tears of my Life to come were not sufficient to bewail the Sins of my Life past O what did I lose when I enjoyed no Communion with God! How much richer might I have been in Grace and Holiness and I set out in the Way to Heaven sooner But this is my Comfort tho' I did not come in at the first Hour yet I did not stay till the last This was the Lord's Mercy But my Sins before Conversion are not all the Sins which I have to mourn for but the Sins which I have been guilty of since and in some measure my Sins are greater since than they were before For I have now sinned against clearer Light dearer Love more Manifestations of God's Goodness more Experience of his Kindness more Resolutions to obey him greater Obligations to serve him so that I am asham'd to think how unthankful my Walking hath been since the Lord hath given me some Desires to serve him some Care to please him and some Fear to offend him When he was pleased first to lift up the Light of his Countenance upon me and speak Peace to my Soul after so many Temptations and Troubles of Conscience then I did not only serve him with Joy and Thankfulness but also with Life and Vigor O how was my Heart affected with Spiritual Things When I prayed it was with Sense and Feeling it was not only in Word but I poured out my Soul before the Lord. When I heard the Word of God how did I hear as for my Life and performed every Duty as for Eternity I did not look upon Duty meerly as a Task but accounted it a great Privilege to draw nigh to God in the Ways of his Appointment I found it was not in vain to seek him I was even filled with the Admiration of his Love and the Consolations of the Spirit and my Heart was enlarged and ran the Ways of his Commandments with great Delight and Comfort I could say with the Church As the Apple-tree among the Trees of the Wood so was my Beloved Jesus to my Soul I sate down under his Shadow with great Delight and his Fruit was sweet unto my Taste I could in some measure say with David As the Hart panteth after the Water-brooks so panteth my Soul after thee O God My Soul thirsteth for God for the living God When shall I come and appear before God O God thou art my God early will I seek thee My Flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty Land where no Water is How amiable are thy Tabernacles O Lord of Hosts My Soul longeth yea even fainteth for the Courts of the Lord for a Day in thy Courts is better than a thousand c. My Soul waiteth for God from whom cometh my Salvation He only is my Rock and my Salvation he is my Defence I shall not be greatly moved In God is my Salvation and my Glory the Rock of my Strength and my Refuge is in God Because thy Loving-kindness is better than Life my Lips shall praise thee my Soul shall be satisfied as with Marrow and Fatness and my Mouth shall praise thee with joyful Lips With my whole Heart have I sought thee O Lord let me not wander from thy Commandments Thou art my Portion O Lord I have said I will keep thy Precepts for with them thou hast quickned me O how love I thy Law It is my Meditation all the Day How sweet is thy Word to my Taste yea sweeter than Honey to my Mouth therefore I love thy Commandments above Gold yea above fine Gold Thus was my Heart filled with Joy and my Mouth with Praise and tho' my Dwelling was on Earth yet my Conversation was in Heaven I looked upon all things here below with an indifferent eye I could in some measure say with Paul None of these things move me neither count I my Life dear to my self so I may finish my Course with Joy I was then able to make a spiritual Use of every Providence and of every Mercy and of every thing I met with I found the assistance of the Holy Spirit to perform spiritual Duties in a spiritual manner and helping and directing me to some Duties which I never knew to be my Duty And tho' I cannot say I was wholly free from Temptation yet I can say whenever Satan began to set upon me I was enabled to see that it
Righteousness is more satisfactory and pleasing unto God than all the Sinners Wickedness is injurious and displeasing to him O this is a very sweet and comfortable Consideration indeed There is no such Evil in Sin to damn thee as there is Merit in Christ's Blood to save thee IX To despair of Mercy is a greater Sin than all thy other Sins This makes thee like the Devil himself It is the Glory of Divine Grace to triumph over all the Sinner's Unworthiness Resolve therefore I will yet follow God tho' I have offended him come on me what will I know he is God and not Man who can help nay will help if I come unto him Isa 57. 16. I will not contend for ever nor be always wroth for the Spirit would fail before me and the Souls that I have made Isa 41. 17. When the poor and needy seek water and there is none and their tongue faileth for thirst I the Lord will hear them I the God of Israel will not forsake them When it comes to failing fainting sinking dying then comes help Be much in Prayer and hold on waiting God may make you seek and wait a long time aye but he will certainly come and that will make amends for all X. How shall one be willing to die that hath not a sense of God's Love I answer when we can see our Love to God tho' we cannot see God's Love to us What are the Actings of our Soul towards God when we can see no Love in his Dispensations towards us As that good Man under great Afflictions and Dissatisfaction about the Love of God at last breaks out If I did not love God why do I follow him and mourn after him If thou lovest God here is ground of Comfort thou couldst not love God if he did not first love thee It was a memorable Answer of Mr. Dod to a godly Minister that said to him a little before his Death What will you say to me who am going out of the World and can find no Comfort He replied What will you say to our Saviour that was going out of the World and found no Comfort but he cried out My God my God still This Speech much refreshed that godly Minister Others of God's Children have wanted sensible Comfort at their Death yet they have been able to act Faith and to say My God my God still Tho' God's sensible Presence is not still the same yet his Word and Promise is he speaks as comfortably in his Word as ever he cannot deny his own Word God sometimes withdraws Comfort that we may prize his Word more and depend more upon that You please and honour God most when you can venture your Souls on his bare Word and Promise A Faith of Recumbency on Christ in the want of Comfort doth more honour God than the highest Faith of Assurance Why should Death be a Terror to them that fear God none need to fear Death that are escaped from the Dominion of Sin and the Devil Can you say you do not love Christ and that you do love Sin then there is cause enough for fear but this were to bely the blessed Spirit The godly hath hope in his Death A hope of Life even at the Point of Death A godly Man's hope can never fail him he may want sensible Comfort but he doth hope still Death 't is a going to God and shall a godly Man be afraid of going to his God Again it is a Sleep a Rest are weary Men afraid of rheir Rest and of going to sleep If Death be an Enemy 't is a slain Enemy Christ hath been the Death of Death And why should that have Terror in it that hath no Life in it A godly Man is a real Gainer by Death He gains more by his Death than ever he got all his Life long viz. Happiness and Joy that shall never end Again tho' Death separates Relations here yet Death can never separate the godly Man's Soul and Body from Christ Both still continue united unto Christ They sleep in Jesus God is still their God and therefore let not the Saints of God be afraid of Death XI Psal 147. 11. The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him in them that hope in his mercy Then our Prayers please God when they are put up to him in Faith and hope of his Mercy Poor trembling Souls that meditute nothing but Terror little think how it would please God to see them to hope in his Mercy They are conscious to themselves how they have displeased God but hope in God's Mercy and he will take pleasure in thee They bring most Honour to God that are most admiring and magnifying of his Mercy His Heart is most set on Mercy in all the Manifestations of it Therefore let poor drooping Souls still maintain hope in the Mercy of God through Christ XII This is certain in every afflictive Providence to Believers there is more Mercy than Wrath nay 't is all Mercy in the Issue and not in revengeful Wrath but paternal Anger They have Supports under all sometimes they may be under desertion and no comforts of God come into their Souls they are ready to say Lord why casteth thou off my Soul But then they have this to support them they can love God and mourn after his Favour tho' he seems to be gone from them they can look after him and long for his Return and this is such an effect of Grace that is more worth than the whole World Sustentation saith Mr. Baines I thank God I have tho' Suavities I have none Sickness and Sorrow and Death that are the Fruits of Sin none can be exempted from but Grace doth this for Believers The Curse the Hurt the Venom of all is taken away they are Gainers by all 2 Cor. 4. 16. Tho' our outward man c. All works for their good Others have Comforts with a Curse but Believers have Crosses with a Blessing The Guilt of Sin the Grace of God in Christ doth quite take away from all Believers Heb. 8. 12. Pardoning Mercy clears the Soul of Guilt What Comfort is this to such that by the Grace of Justification through Christ they are in God's account righteous And upon the account of Christ their Righteousness they may come into God's Presence with as assured Welcome as Adam in Paradise or the Angels now in Heaven This thou may'st be assured of that Christ will not break the bruised Reed nor quench the smoaking Flax. Tho' thy Faith be so small that it yields not Light to others nor Heat to thy own Heart yet Christ discerns and accepts it But can a Man have the Exercise of Grace and not know it fear God and not discern it I answer Yes some Graces may then be acted and discerned by others as well as at any other time He may fear God as truly and as much as ever and yet his Grace may not have Light to discover it self to him It may have a Being and working in the Heart when it 's not clear in thy Apprehension XIII Hearken unto the Voice of God O poor doubting disconsolate Sinner Why dost thou pass Sentence against thy self Thou say'st O my Sins are very many Well but the Mercies of God are far more O but my Sins are very great True but the Meroies of God are far greater O but my Sins are of long continuance True but yet thy Sins are but Sins of Time his Mercies are the Mercies of Eternity O but my Sins are greater than you are aware of they are Crimson Scarlet Sins How great are they Are they as great as the Sins of Manasseh that was a Wizard that filled Jerusalem with Blood yet God pardoned him Are they greater than the Sins of Mary Magdalen out of whom were cast seven Devils and yet God had Mercy for her O but I fear the Stock of Mercy is quite spent No his Mercy endures for ever it is from everlasting to everlasting But I have exceedingly abused Mercy yet remember that tho thou hast sinn'd against his Mercy yet thou hast not sinned above his Mercy Isa 55. 8. My thoughts are not as your thoughts nor my ways as your ways as the heavens are above the earth so are my thoughts above your thoughts and my ways above your ways FINIS * My Honoured Friend Mr. Joshua Gearing Sen.
Portions of Scripture by Heart and so he brought them to delight in it With what Solicitude and Care and unwearied Pains with what Compassion and Pity and hearty Affection he endeavoured the Conversion of some and the Recovery of others related to him from their Declensions in Religion I and several others can testifie His Piety was uniform equal and harmonious and all of a piece and therefore his ordinary Converse was grave and serious edifying and useful his Discourse becoming a Christian that was under the Eye and Awe of God and in the Fear of the Lord all the Day long He was always ready to begin or promote such Discourse and greatly lamented that when good People meet together they have so little Talk of Spiritual and Religious Matters I wish for my own sake I had spent more time with him upon this Account for he desired it not on any other He valued not Visits of Ceremony and Complement no not of Ministers or any others that would not help him as a Christian I trust his Memory will be a living Sermon to me and to many others that knew him In his Trade he had many and great Disappointments and Losses and yet bore them with admirable Patience He thanked God that he was carried through them with so much Calmness and Satisfaction that he could always speak good of God tho' hardly any that trade for more have been known to have lost so much He would not buy or sell without lifting up his Heart to God for Direction And as an Argument of his tender Conscience I have been informed by one who must needs know the Truth of it that he would not let his Silk lie on the damper side of the Warehouse lest it should thereby encrease in Weight and so wrong the Buyer He walked with God in his Calling so regularly as a Christian that I am perswaded he enjoyed more of God in his Shop and Ware-house in his Trade and Business than many of us do in our Retirements for Prayer and Devotion For let him come when he would from his Secular Affairs his Mind was more Spiritual and Heavenly than most ordinary Christians are when they come from the solemn Exercises of Religion In short his Principles his Thoughts his Inclinations his Affections and Actions his Carriage and Converse in the Whole of them was such as might be truly called a walking with God He was ready to do Good to all his Acquaintance by Counsel and Reproof by seasonable Instruction and Admonition whereof divers now living must needs be sensible and some of them I hope do thank God for his Freedom in that kind His Charity to the Poor was answerable to the rest according to his Ability Many a poor Family of Country Ministers and Ministers Widows in City and Country will feel that he is dead For what he could not do of himself he would endeavour to procure of others for the Relief of such whose Necessities he knew He never neglected a Monthly Opportunity of coming to the Lord's Table tho' he hath often complained to me that he had not ordinarily any sensible ravishing Joy however Careful and Strict he was in his Preparations before as well as Devout and Reverent when he came But he durst not stay away He came humbly to pay Homage to a Crucified Saviour and to avow to all the World that he gloried only in the Cross of Christ and was resolved to be found in the way of his Duty Now it would be expected that One so Exemplary so Circumspect so much above this World One so useful upon Earth and so ripe for Heaven should have lived in the most raised Consolations and the most joyful Transports as if he had been already almost in Heaven or just come from thence Surely will some say such an one as He must have the Earnest the Seal the Fore-tastes of Glory beyond his Brethren he must needs walk on the Top of Pisgah in the Light of God's Countenance in the sight of the Heavenly Canaan and be past the Fears and Doubts and Complaints of other Trembling Christians But God did not think this fit for him in the latter part of his Life Nevertheless he had that which was equivalent or better than the highest Flights of Assurance can be For under his Complaints of Doubts and Deadness and want of sensible Communion with God he had a most steady Trust in God through Jesus Christ and an uniform Obedience And as he has been often told his Doubts seemed to proceed from the Height of his Grace rather than the Weakness of it For such was his extraordinary Love to God that he never thought he could have Evidence enough of the Divine Presence and Favour tho' that was mixed with some Error of Judgment as expecting more than God hath promised in that kind and as arguing from such Arbitrary Dispensations of God unto such Conclusions as cannot justly be drawn from the Enjoyment or the Want of these Things For certainly his Judicious Love to God his inward Esteem of Holiness and Heaven his fixed Hatred and Abhorrence of Sin and his habitual Self-denial and Devotedness to God with constant Watchfulness and Care to please him and keep a Conscience void of Offence towards God and Man is a better Evidence of one beloved of God than the highest Transports can amount to Especially in his Case who under some Darkness and Fears was able yet to hold on his Way and his Work and to presevere with unshaken Stedfastness to the very last Tho' something also of his Natural Temper and Bodily Constitution ought to be considered to abate his Suspicion of himself upon the Account of his not having such raised sensible Consolations and Joys as some others Besides that his Humility in judging of himself and his earnest Desire of farther Communion with God made him overlook what he did enjoy even in this kind For often when he joined with others or when he prayed alone his Affections were more lively after having been Forty Years in Christ than most young Converts are the First Year However in this God was very gracious to him that tho' he feared the Devil might assault him at last he did not permit it But with a calm Submission and regular steady Trust and Hope in the Divine Mercy with Eyes and Hands and Heart lift up to Heaven he quietly departed this Life and is at Rest in the Bosom of Christ If I would pronounce a Blessing on his Family and surviving Relations upon his Wife and Children his Friends and Acquaintance that love and honour his Memory I know not how to do it by a more profitable Prayer than to beg of God that they may tread in his Steps and walk as he walked that his God may be their God that they may follow him as he was a Follower of Christ and so at last be more than Conquerors over the World and Sin and Death and him that hath the Power
Arms I will live or die with him Now deal truly with your Souls hath the Spirit of God wrought Faith in you in this manner 3dly You may know the Truth of Faith by its vital Act which is an hearty Consent to receive Christ It is a Conjugal Consent that makes your Faith a true Faith 1. That is when the Sinner hath regard to his Person as well as his Portion 2. When we receive him to be our Lord and Husband to be ruled by him as well as to be redeemed by him 3. It excludes all other Partners I will have Christ and none but Christ if I have him I have enough 4. It includes all Conditions I am content to be his in Want as well as in Wealth in Adversity as well as Prosperity in Temptation as well as Consolation I am content to follow him through Dirt and Mire and Blood 5. Such a Man yields to Christ out of Choice a Man willingly yields to Christ he can say I am thine wholly I have made Choice of thee to be my Portion my Redeemer 4thly True Faith may be known by the Fruits of it Some Fruits in reference to Christ some in reference to our selves The Fruits in reference to Christ are these 1. True Faith will make you highly to prize Jesus Christ You will set such a Price upon Christ that all the Beauty and Bravery and Pomp and Glory of the World all the Pleasures and Treasures in the World will be but a heap of Dung in comparison of him The Person of Christ is exceeding precious Cant. 5. 10. My Beloved is white and ruddy the chiefest of ten thousand his Mouth is Sweetnesses be is altogether lovely His Blood is very precious his Offices very precious his Graces very precious an Interest in him is very precious The Purchase of his Blood very precious the Inheritance incorruptible undefiled that fadeth not away is very precious all the Kingdoms of the World are not worthy to be compared to it 2. True Faith will work earnest fervent regular Desires after Christ and Communion with him This is certain where Faith is once wrought the Soul is restless till it rests in a Saviour These Desires after Christ may be known by four Properties 1. By the Ardency of them they are not weak and slight Desires but commanding Desires like the Desires of Hunger and Thirst that musr be satisfied Tell the Soul who desires Christ that he shall have the World and Riches enough No saith he that will not content me give me Christ or else I die Tell him of outward Comforts and Accommodations These are not Christ saith he 2. By the Activity of them These Desires will not be sluggish lazy Desires to look that Christ should drop into their Mouths without looking after him But if you desire Christ indeed you will earnestly seek him as a Man that is hungry indeed will be ready to break through any Difficulties for Food 3. By the Prevalency of them They will be prevalent and powerful Desires they will make thee content to part with something for Christ When Christ saith I would have thee leave such a Lust With all my Heart saith the Soul When Christ saith Follow me in any hard Duty as the Duty of Self-denial With all my Heart saith the Soul Moses was content to part with all his Preferment for Christ he counted the Reproach of Christ greater Riches than the Treasures of Egypt 4. By the Constancy of them If your Desires are right you will still be desiring more of Christ you will never be so satisfied as to say you have enough of him but be hungring and thirsting still Psal 119. 20. My Soul breaketh for the longing it hath to thy Judgments at all times A man that hath tasted of the Sweetness of Christ O that I might taste more saith he There is a thousand times more Sweetness in Christ than ever yet you tasted He that saith he knows Christ so much that he desires to know no more I dare say he never tasted the Sweetness of Christ at all For the more you have experienc'd the more you will hunger after him and desire him 3. Another Fruit of Faith in reference to Christ is this It will work an earnest fervent Love to Christ so that a Believer will love Jesus Christ above all things and say Thy Loves are better than Wine Cant. 1. 2. It is said the Loadstone will not draw Iron in the Presence of the Diamon so no outward Loadstone of Pleasure and Contentment can draw the Soul in the Presence of the Lord Jesus Christ When a Worldly Man doth boast These are my Lands and Houses and Enjoyments A Believer saith All my Pleasures and Riches and Jewels are in Jesus Christ As Mephibosheth said 2 Kings 19. 30. Let him take all for as much as I have seen the Face of my Lord the King So saith a true Believer Let worldly Men take all so I may see the Face of my Lord the King of Saints When a Believer can draw out the Quintessence of all Creature Comforts and say the Sweetness of all is in Christ O how sweet is he then to that Soul Again This true Faith will make a Man love Christ against all Difficulties and Temptations and Discouragements he can meet with in Heaven's way What tho' I suffer Reproach for Christ saith the Believer yet I can love him still nay tho' I suffer the Loss of all my Estate for Christ yet I can love him still nay tho' I suffer the Loss of my Life for Christ yet I will love him still Acts 21. 13. I am ready not only to be bound but to die for the Name of Christ This I confess is a high Act of Faith but no higher than many Martyrs have attained to They felt such a strong and unquenchable Love in Jesus Christ to their Souls therefore their Love was so drawn out to Christ again which made them ready to suffer and lay down their Lives for him Again True Faith will make a Man love Christ without outward Encouragements A Believer can say What tho' I want these outward Accommodations others have tho' I be as poor as Job on the Dunghil yet a naked Christ is to me more welcome than a beautified World that is deck'd with all the Plenty and Prosperity that can be imagined As the strongest Believer he that hath Assurance of Christ's Love may love Christ more strongly yet it is as true he that is the weakest Believer tho' he knows not whether he be beloved of Christ he loves Christ as truly as the other 4. Another Fruit of Faith is a Fear of offending him True Faith would not have Christ displeased it is true Faith casts out a slavish Fear but a Fear of Reverence and Watchfulness is the Fruit of True Saving Faith 5. True Faith will work Holiness and new Obedience Hence Faith is called a most holy Faith because it makes us holy we are sanctified
Christ far better The Dress for the Sacrament Lord where am I What! all the Children of the Bride-Chamber up and dress'd and I slumbring in my Bed Tell me ye fairest what make you up so early Alas our Lord was up before us all he called us up by Break-of-Day and wondered that we were not trimming our Lamps knowing with whom we were to feast this Day Well then I will rise up too O what a Shew do these bright and glittering Saints make in my Eyes surely they did not thus dress themselves It was my Father made them thus prepared to entertain his Son But where are my Cloaths Now for the fairest sweetest Robe of Thoughts and Wishes that can be found O how naked am I But where are my silken golden Twists of Faith to hang the Jewels of Joy and Love and Humility upon I am never dress'd till they be on O where are they I saw them by me but just now I laid them by my Heart before I went to Bed But ah I fear this envious World hath with her Vanities stolen them away or the envious Devil or Unbelief hath been ravelling or snarling of them that now I am as far to seek as ever Whither O whither shall I go to find them out Now will the Bridegroom come and I am not ready I cannot dare not go to Day now will my Lord be angry and ask me why I came not and I have no Answer to make him and if I go undress'd he will ask me where is my Wedding-Garment and then I shall be speechless Ah foolish simple Heart that thou should'st let these Thoughts of Earth so entangle themselves with thy Heavenly Meditations how to get them loose again thou know'st not this by Care thou mightest have prevented Now what Help Lord I have sinned O holy Father pardon this time and I will take more heed O come and untie my Thoughts from this Earth and come and dress me up as best pleaseth thee Come be not discouraged O my Soul let but thy Attire of Grace be whole that is sincere and thy God and Saviour will accept thee tho' thy Garments are not so much perfumed with Heaven as thy Brethrens are thy Lord knows all have not Talents alike and where he gives but little he expects but little thou hast an honest willing serious Heart that thinks it doth despise and trample under Feet the nearest dearest Pleasures Profits and Glories in the World compared with him that gave himself to Death for thee and hadst rather anger all the World than him by sinning against him in the least If this he true fear not thou hast thy Wedding-Garment on thou art well clad as mean soever as it is it is such an one as Heaven gave thee and such an one as thy dear Redeemer can and will embrace thee in The Presence-Chamber Fear not O my Soul I charge thee do not faint let not thy Weakness and the Poverty of thy Grace discourage thee see how thy Lord draws nigh O he comes and it is but to welcome thee and fall about thy Neck and kiss thee and bid thee a kind Welcome to thy bleeding Lord The Bread Welcome Fairest take and eat it is the sweetest Dainties dearest Morsel Heaven can afford thee Welcome my Dear to the Table of thy Lord welcome a thousand times I bid thee yea welcomer than thine own Heart can wish Take eat this Morsel it costs my Life it is a Portion thy Father sent unto thee by me and bid me remember thee of his Love to thee He bids thee remember a Father's Love I a Saviour's he hath a Heart to give thee and so have I take this in earnest of them both in one take freely if thou wert not welcome I would have told thee I would have ask'd thee for thy Wedding-Garment Tell me O tell me dost thou not love me I know thou dost And wilt not thou take the Cross and follow me I know thou wilt I heard thee and had Compassion on thy Groanings I know thee well enough thou art mine and I am thine take it I charge thee eat it as thou lovest me and while thou feedest remember the Love of thy dearest Redeemer The Wine Come my Dearest I have drunk and thou shalt pledge me I have broached my Sides and drew it on purpose for thee this is a Wine of my own making when I trod the Wine-Press of my Father's Wrath it is my Blood take and drink it Sin was the Cause of my wounding but to thy Soul it shall prove healing I died and bled to make this Banquet for thee I have brought thee into my Wine-Cellar and my Banner over thee shall be Love Fear not take and drink thou hast an Ulcer in thy Heart and this shall cure it thy Spirits are faint this shall revive thee Drink I charge thee drink on thy Love and Loyalty to me I command thee as thou wilt have thy Heart to mend thy Wounds to be cured thy Spirits to revive thy Fears to scatter thy Soul to love and obey me Take O take this Cup into thy Hand taste it and praise my Name Memorable Sayings and Passages collected and transcribed for his own Vse These are some among others WHat we are affraid to do before Men we should be affraid to think before God because our secret Thoughts are as obvious to the Eyes of God as our Actions to the Eyes of Men. God shewed more Mercy in saving some when he might have condemned all than he did Justice in leaving some to perish when he might have saved none Great Vertues without Sincerity of Heart are rejected when great Infirmities without Hypocrisie are pardon'd A good Intention cannot make a bad Action good tho' an ill Intention may make an Action in it self good to be evil He who presumes to sin in Hopes of Repentance shall be sure to repent because he presumes They who presume most in a time of Prosperity are most apt to despair in Adversity Repent one Day before thou diest was good Counsel I know not when that Day will be therefore I will repent to Day lest it should be too late to Morrow He that delays his Repentance one Day hath another Day more to repent of and one Day less to do it in God who joins the End and Means together doth accomplish all his Purposes of Good to us by working in us Desires and Endeavours sutable to those Purposes Better go to Heaven by the Gates of Hell than to Hell by the Gate of Heaven mourning to the Heavenly Glory than laughing to the Place of Torment One may suffer and not sin but if he sin he shall be sure to suffer Herod might have kept his Oath and not have cut off the Baptist's Head he only promised to grant what she ask'd to the half of his Kingdom whereas the Prophet's Head was more worth than the whole Such is the infinite Extent and Value of our Saviour's Merit that
Sin especially of Lying and Stealing and playing upon the Sabbath-Day I delighted to read the Word of God and good Books to others but I did not apply it to my self as when I read that Scripture that except we repent we shall all perish Except we are born again we cannot see the Kingdom of God That the Wicked shall be turned into Hell c. I thought these did not concern me because I was guilty of no gross Sin I reckon'd my Condition was good and I was ready to pity others but I was not sensible of the Corruption and Defilement of my Nature I did not see the Need of a Change I was not sensible of my undone Condition without Christ I saw not his Excellency nor had any Desires after him I knew not upon what Terms I must take him if I would be saved As to the outward Duties of Religion I lived in the Performance of many of them but as for the more inward and spiritual Duties of Christianity such as Self-examination Meditation Self-denial mourning for Sin and watching over my Thoughts Words and Actions strict Observation of the Lord's Day c. to these I was altogether a Stranger Thus I went on in Rebellion against God having a Form of Godliness but denying the Power And if God had then cut me off in my Unregeneracy certainly Hell-Fire must have been my Portion He might have sworn in his Wrath that I should never enter into his Rest O the wonderful Patience and Forbearance of the Lord towards such a sinful Creature It is a Miracle of Mercy I am yet on this side the Grave and Hell It is of the Lord's Mercy that I am spared so long and that he gives me space to repent that he should afford me the Means of Grace and send his holy Spirit to strive with me and give me many Convictions and all to reclaim me and bring me home to himself And that he should not only give me space to repent but an Heart to repent That he should not only stand waiting and knocking at the Door of my Heart so many Years calling on me to repent but that he should give me the Grace of Repentance This is undeserved Love and distinguishing Mercy For I was dead in Trespasses and Sins and had nothing but my Misery to move his Compassion I walked according to the course of this World I was insensible of my Danger tho' ready to drop into Hell every moment And I should certainly have perished had not the Lord been pleased to open my Eyes and to pluck me as a Fire-brand out of the burning and set me in the way to Heaven for which I can never sufficiently adore and praise his glorious Grace in Christ to me a vile sinful Creature Great was his Mercy towards me for he hath delivered my Soul from the lowest Hell which makes me say with David Come and hear all ye that fear the Lord and I will declare what he hath done for my Soul and the Way and Means whereby he was pleased to work upon my Heart The Manner of my Conversion which I hope is true and real is as follows It pleased the Lord by a sad Providence viz. the Sickness at London to bring my Unkle Gearing and his Family from thence to my Father's House where they continued about half a Year My Unkle being a good Man I could not but take notice of his strict and circumspect Walking and was much affected with it And I began to think surely the Way that I am in will never bring me to Heaven I thought I must live another manner of Life if ever I would be saved I had many Convictions but there I stayed but went no further I kept on in my former careless course When it pleased God to put a Stop to the Plague at London my Unkle returned with his Family and I went with him and continued at his House about two Months in which time it pleased the Lord to follow me with new Convictions partly by the good Example of my Unkle partly by many excellent Sermons which I heard when I was there so that I began in good earnest to look after the Salvation of my Soul and to say with the Goaler What must I do to be saved I began to be very desirous to hear the Word I took all Opportunities to hear and gave Attention to what was preached after another manner than I was wont to do and laboured to make Application of it to my self I heard Mr. Vincent preach upon Heb. 12. 14. Follow Holiness without which no Man shall see the Lord urging the Necessity of it as the only way to Heaven I was much affected therewith and began to think I must set about the Work of a thorow Repentance I began to be sensible of my Original Corruption and that I had been guilty of thousands of actual Sins Those which before I counted small I now look'd upon as great and upon my self by reason of Sin to be in a lamentable Condition I knew not how to get out of this sinful miserable State and the Lord was pleased to shew me that there was no Name under Heaven by which I could be saved but only by Jesus Christ I thought if I could have an Interest in Him and his Favour I should be saved but I feared God would not thus have Mercy upon me because I had gone on so long in Sin I heard an excellent Sermon upon Mat. 11. 28. Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy loden and I will give you Rest Proving first that Sin is a Burden And secondly that burdened Sinners are invited to come to Christ and then that those that come to him shall find Rest for their Souls This was a sutable Word to my Soul I was much affected in the hearing of in for I felt Sin to be a Burden no my Conscience and I would fain have Rest to my Soul I was sensible of my Want of Jesus Christ and of the absolute Necessity to be interested in him I began to see his Worth and Excellency as the chiefest of Ten thousands altogether lovely And then and not till then I had Hungerings and Thirstings after him so that I could say None but Christ give me Christ or else I die Thus it pleased the Lord by his Spirit to work upon my Heart by degrees to open mine Eyes and to let in some Spiritual Light into my Understanding which was dark before and to give some Spiritual Life to my Affections which were dead before But O the Enemies that did then labour to hinder my Conversion and stop this Work The World by Allurements and Discouragements sought to keep me off from Christ My own deceitful Heart and corrupt Disposition within me were no small Enemy and Hinderance to the Work of Grace in my Soul The Devil the great Adversary of God's Glory and our Happiness came like a roaring Lion ready to devour me so that I
but a weak Faith if he meet with no Temptation shall scarce know what doubting means and a Man of a strong Faith under strong Temptations may not be able to overcome Fears and Doubts If Assurance did exclude all Doubts and Fears then it should be perfect but as our Faith and all other Graces are imperfect so is Assurance also None have Assurance at all times it is like the Weather sometimes fair sometimes foul yea in the same Day fair in the Morning and cloudy before Night David had such strong Faith at one time that he would not fear tho' ten thousand set themselves against him he would not fear tho' he should pass through the Valley of the shadow of Death At another time he was so full of Fear that he saith he shall one Day perish by the Hands of Saul V. We can never have too high too vast Thoughts of the Goodness of God we do not think aright of God if we do not think him more ready to give than we are to ask There is nothing thou canst go to God for that is according to his Will but he is ten thousand times more ready to bestow than thou art to ask A Child of God may go to him with as full Confidence of his Love as a Child to the most tender Parent in the World nay much more abundantly The blessed Majesty of Heaven is inclined to succour and relieve those that are in Distress and Misery He that puts Bowels of Compassion and Pity into Man shall not he himself be much more pitiful and compassionate Exod. 34. 6. He is merciful and gracious he delights in nothing more than in shewing Mercy You can do nothing more grateful to God nor please him better than to plead for Mercy Mich. 7. 18. When thou pleadest for Mercy thou hast God's Nature pleading the same thing for thee All the yearning Bowels of the most compassionate Parents in the World are but a meer Shadow to the Bowels of God We may go to God in Confidence of being heard for Christ's sake only as if we had never sinned 't is wonderful what the Scripture saith of Faith and Prayer VI. This also may help to sustain and comfort a poor doubting tender Heart that fears and suspects himself of Hypocrisie that those very Fears of thine are some shew of the contrary Men naturally love and flatter themselves but thou loathest thy self for thy Corruptions Be of good cheer 't is Grace and nothing but Grace that complains of Sin 'T is Sincerity and nothing else that discovers and bewails Hypocrisie Especially when thou bewailest Heart-Hypocrisie and such secret and hidden Sins that only God and thy own Heart do know If thou livest not in any known Sin nor in neglect of any known Duty if thou wouldest find out thy Sin if there is no Sin thou wouldest have hid from God's Eye and no Duty thou wouldst have hid from thy own Eye if there is no Sin but thy Heart is against it and no Duty but thy Heart is for it this proves thy Uprightness VII If God never makes his Face to shine on thee in this World yet 't is thy Duty to trust and cleave to him through Christ Would you know why God when he hath wrought Grace doth not enable the Soul presently to perceive it It may be 't is that Sin may be more bitter If we could have Comfort when we would we should have very slight thoughts of Sin Upon sight of thy Graces possibly thou wouldst be proud to hide this Pride God hides our Graces from us It may be God doth it to prove thy Obedience to him for to rely on God's Grace and live by Faith without sensible Tokens of it is the purest Act of Obedience that can be By Assurance we get more Comfort to our selves but by believing we give more Glory to God Therefore saith Christ to Thomas Blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed When you have any Evidence of Grace you must be sure to rest only on Christ and trust to him The great Work of a Christian in this World is out of a sense of his Sins and Weaknesses daily to depend on Christ looking to Christ seeing our need of Christ for Pardon and Sanctification and Reconciliation every day This is our great Work How many search for Grace and neglect to put forth Acts of Faith on Christ Alas Graces are but Tokens from Christ Let us not forget depending and relying on the blessed Jesus tho' we have no fight at all of any Grace in our selves Where a Person hath any one sign of Grace he may warrantably conclude all the rest to be there tho' at present he perceive them not 'T is the truth and not the measure and degree of your Grace you are to conclude your State by The prizing and loving and seeking and delighting in the Love and Favour of God above all is a certain Evidence of Grace VIII The greatest sense of Sin and Guilt should discourage none from coming to God for Mercy through Christ because the Mercies of God are infinitely more than a Sinner's Provocations are or can be O 't is boundless Mercy bottomless Mercy There are many like Sinners as thou art but there is none like God for pardoning and forgiving mercy Mic. 6. 18. My thoughts are not your thoughts nor my ways your ways As the heaven is higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts Isa 55. 8. When Conscience is awakened we are ready to doubt whether God will pardon us therefore he fetches Arguments from his gracious and merciful Nature My ways are not your ways If you repent your Sins shall infinitely be out-done We are apt to think God like our selves but the blessed God is of tender Bowels slow to Wrath loth to take Vengeance ready to forgive the greatest Wrong and receive the Sinner into his Favour upon true Repentance There is saith God as vast a difference between my Disposition and Dealing and yours as between Heaven and Earth Thou that art an awakened convinced Sinner the Promises of the Gospel belong unto thee Isa 61. 1. The Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings to the meek to bind up the broken-hearted and to comfort all that mourn Canst thou desire to be in a better Case than those whom Christ hath Commission to take care of The Poor in Spirit the Mourners for their Sins those that hunger after Righteousness not having a drop of Comfort from themselves Christ blesseth and pronounces happy Blessed are the poor in Spirit Not one of them would the Lord have kept from coming to him Mat. 11. 28. Come to me All Ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest Trust to me you that are troubled in Conscience for Sin I will bring you to rest in God's Love and Favour Be not discouraged there is a Mediator for thee whose Worthiness and