the_o king_n contrary_a to_o the_o law_n esth._n 4.16_o i_o think_v also_o of_o benhadad_n servant_n who_o go_v with_o rope_n upon_o their_o head_n to_o their_o enemy_n for_o mercy_n 1_o kin._n 20.31_o etc._n etc._n the_o woman_n of_o canaan_n also_o that_o will_v not_o be_v daunt_v though_o call_v dog_n by_o christ_n mat._n 15.22_o etc._n etc._n and_o the_o man_n that_o go_v to_o borrow_v bread_n at_o midnight_n luk._n 11.5_o 6_o 7_o 8_o etc._n etc._n be_v great_a encouragement_n unto_o i_o 206._o i_o never_o see_v those_o height_n and_o depth_n in_o grace_n and_o love_n and_o mercy_n as_o i_o see_v after_o this_o temptation_n great_a sin_n do_v draw_v out_o great_a grace_n and_o where_o guilt_n be_v most_o terrible_a and_o fierce_a there_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n when_o show_v to_o the_o soul_n appear_v most_o high_a and_o mighty_a when_o job_n have_v pass_v through_o his_o captivity_n he_o have_v twice_o as_o much_o as_o he_o have_v before_o job_n 42.10_o bless_a be_v god_n for_o jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n many_o other_o thing_n i_o may_v here_o make_v observation_n of_o but_o i_o will_v be_v brief_a and_o therefore_o shall_v at_o this_o time_n omit_v they_o and_o do_v pray_v god_n that_o my_o harm_n may_v make_v other_o fear_v to_o offend_v lest_o they_o also_o be_v make_v to_o bear_v the_o iron_n yoke_v as_o i_o 207._o now_o i_o shall_v go_v forward_o to_o give_v you_o a_o relation_n of_o other_o of_o the_o lord_n deal_n with_o i_o of_o his_o deal_n with_o i_o at_o sundâ—y_a other_o season_n and_o of_o the_o temptation_n i_o then_o do_v meet_v withal_o i_o shall_v begin_v with_o what_o i_o meet_v with_o when_o i_o first_o do_v join_v in_o fellowship_n with_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o bedford_n after_o i_o have_v propound_v to_o the_o church_n that_o my_o desire_n be_v to_o walk_v in_o the_o order_n and_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n with_o they_o and_o be_v also_o admit_v by_o they_o while_o i_o think_v of_o that_o bless_a ordinance_n of_o christ_n which_o be_v his_o last_o supper_n with_o his_o disciple_n before_o his_o death_n that_o scripture_n do_v this_o in_o remembrance_n of_o i_o luk._n 22.19_o be_v make_v a_o very_a precious_a word_n unto_o i_o for_o by_o it_o the_o lord_n do_v come_v down_o upon_o my_o conscience_n with_o the_o discovery_n of_o his_o death_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o as_o i_o then_o feel_v do_v as_o if_o he_o plunge_v i_o in_o the_o virtue_n of_o the_o same_o but_o behold_v i_o have_v not_o be_v long_o a_o partaker_n at_o that_o ordinance_n but_o such_o fierce_a and_o sad_a temptation_n do_v attend_v i_o at_o all_o time_n therein_o both_o to_o blaspheme_v the_o ordinance_n and_o to_o wish_v some_o deadly_a thing_n to_o those_o that_o then_o do_v eat_v thereof_o that_o lest_o i_o shall_v at_o any_o time_n be_v guilty_a of_o consent_v to_o these_o wicked_a and_o fearful_a thought_n i_o be_v force_v to_o bend_v myself_o all_o the_o while_n to_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o blasphemy_n and_o also_o to_o cry_v to_o god_n to_o bless_v the_o bread_n and_o cup_n to_o they_o as_o it_o go_v from_o mouth_n to_o mouth_n the_o reason_n of_o this_o temptation_n i_o have_v think_v since_o be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o with_o that_o reverence_n at_o first_o approach_n to_o partake_v thereof_o 208._o thus_o i_o continue_v for_o three_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n and_o can_v never_o have_v rest_n nor_o ease_n but_o at_o last_o the_o lord_n come_v in_o upon_o my_o soul_n with_o that_o same_o scripture_n by_o which_o my_o soul_n be_v visit_v before_o and_o after_o that_o i_o have_v be_v usual_o very_o well_o and_o comfortable_a in_o the_o partake_n of_o that_o bless_a ordinance_n and_o have_v i_o trust_v therein_o discern_v the_o lord_n body_n as_o break_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o that_o his_o precious_a blood_n have_v be_v shed_v for_o my_o transgression_n 209._o upon_o a_o time_n i_o be_v somewhat_o incline_v to_o a_o consumption_n wherefore_o about_o the_o spring_n i_o be_v sudden_o and_o violent_o seize_v with_o much_o weakness_n in_o my_o outward_a man_n insomuch_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o live_v now_o begin_v i_o afresh_o to_o give_v myself_o up_o to_o a_o serious_a examination_n after_o my_o state_n and_o condition_n for_o the_o future_a and_o of_o my_o evidence_n for_o that_o bless_a world_n to_o come_v for_o it_o have_v i_o bless_v the_o name_n of_o god_n be_v my_o usual_a course_n as_o always_o so_o especial_o in_o the_o day_n of_o affliction_n to_o endeavour_v to_o keep_v my_o interest_n in_o life_n to_o come_v clear_a before_o my_o eye_n 210._o but_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o begin_v to_o recall_v to_o mind_v my_o former_a experience_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n to_o my_o soul_n but_o there_o come_v flock_v into_o my_o mind_n a_o innumerable_a company_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o transgression_n among_o which_o these_o be_v at_o this_o time_n most_o to_o my_o affliction_n namely_o my_o deadness_n dulness_n and_o coldness_n in_o holy_a duty_n my_o wander_n of_o heart_n my_o wearisomeness_n in_o all_o good_a thing_n my_o want_n of_o love_n to_o god_n his_o way_n and_o people_n with_o this_o at_o the_o end_n of_o all_o be_v these_o the_o fruit_n of_o christianity_n be_v these_o the_o token_n of_o a_o bless_a man_n 211._o at_o the_o apprehension_n of_o these_o thing_n my_o sickness_n be_v double_v upon_o i_o for_o now_o be_v i_o sick_a in_o my_o inward_a man_n my_o soul_n be_v clog_v with_o guilt_n now_o also_o be_v all_o my_o former_a experience_n of_o god_n goodness_n to_o i_o quite_o take_v out_o of_o my_o mind_n and_o hide_v as_o if_o it_o have_v never_o be_v nor_o see_v now_o be_v my_o soul_n great_o pinch_v between_o these_o two_o consideration_n live_v i_o must_v not_o die_v i_o dare_v not_o now_o i_o sink_v and_o fall_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v give_v up_o all_o for_o lose_v but_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v up_o and_o down_o in_o the_o house_n as_o a_o man_n in_o a_o most_o woeful_a state_n that_o word_n of_o god_n take_v hold_v of_o my_o heart_n you_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n through_o the_o redemption_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n rom._n 3.24_o 212._o now_o be_v i_o as_o one_o awaken_v out_o of_o some_o troublesome_a sleep_n and_o dream_n and_o listen_v to_o this_o heavenly_a sentence_n i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o hear_v it_o thus_o expound_v to_o i_o sinner_n thou_o think_v that_o because_o of_o thy_o sin_n and_o infirmity_n i_o can_v save_v thy_o soul_n but_o behold_v my_o son_n be_v by_o i_o and_o upon_o he_o i_o look_v and_o not_o on_o tâ—ree_n and_o will_v deal_v with_o thou_o according_a as_o i_o be_o please_v with_o he_o at_o this_o i_o be_v great_o lighten_v in_o my_o mind_n and_o make_v to_o understand_v that_o god_n can_v justify_v a_o sinner_n at_o any_o time_n it_o be_v but_o look_v upon_o christ_n and_o impute_v of_o his_o benefit_n to_o we_o and_o the_o work_n be_v forthwith_o do_v 213._o and_o as_o i_o be_v thus_o in_o a_o muse_n that_o scripture_n come_v with_o great_a power_n upon_o my_o spirit_n not_o by_o work_n of_o righteousness_n that_o we_o have_v do_v but_o according_a to_o his_o mercy_n he_o save_v we_o etc._n etc._n 2_o tim._n 1_o 9_o tit._n 3.5_o now_o be_v i_o get_v on_o high_a i_o see_v myself_o within_o the_o arm_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n and_o though_o i_o be_v before_o afraid_a to_o think_v of_o a_o die_a hour_n yet_o now_o i_o cry_v let_v i_o die_v now_o death_n be_v lovely_a and_o beautiful_a in_o my_o sight_n for_o i_o see_v we_o shall_v never_o live_v indeed_o till_o we_o be_v go_v to_o the_o other_o world_n o_o methinks_v this_o life_n be_v but_o a_o slumber_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o above_o at_o this_o time_n also_o i_o see_v more_o in_o those_o word_n heir_n of_o god_n rom._n 8.17_o then_o ever_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o express_v while_o i_o live_v in_o this_o world_n heir_n of_o god_n god_n himself_o be_v the_o portion_n of_o the_o saint_n this_o i_o see_v and_o wonder_v at_o but_o can_v tell_v you_o what_o i_o see_v 214._o at_o another_o time_n though_o just_a before_o i_o be_v pretty_a well_o and_o savoury_a in_o my_o spirit_n yet_o sudden_o there_o fall_v upon_o i_o a_o great_a cloud_n of_o darkness_n which_o do_v so_o hide_v from_o i_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n that_o i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o have_v never_o see_v or_o know_v they_o in_o my_o life_n i_o be_v also_o so_o overrun_v in_o my_o soul_n with_o a_o senseless_a heartless_a frame_n of_o spirit_n that_o i_o can_v not_o feel_v my_o soul_n to_o move_v or_o stir_v after_o grace_n and_o life_n
have_v be_v make_v upon_o it_o 249._o just_o thus_o i_o see_v it_o be_v and_o will_v be_v with_o they_o who_o have_v gift_n but_o want_v saving-grace_n they_o be_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o christ_n as_o the_o cymbal_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o david_n and_o as_o david_n can_v with_o the_o cymbal_n make_v that_o mirth_n in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n as_o to_o elevate_v the_o heart_n of_o the_o worshipper_n so_o christ_n can_v use_v these_o gift_a man_n as_o with_o they_o to_o affect_v the_o soul_n of_o his_o people_n in_o his_o church_n yet_o when_o he_o have_v do_v all_o hang_v they_o by_o as_o lifeless_a though_o sound_v cymbal_n 250._o this_o consideration_n therefore_o together_o with_o some_o other_o be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n as_o a_o maul_v on_o the_o head_n of_o pride_n and_o desire_n of_o vainglory_n what_o think_v i_o shall_v i_o be_v proud_a because_o i_o be_o a_o sound_a brass_n be_v it_o so_o much_o to_o be_v a_o fiddle_n have_v not_o the_o least_o creature_n that_o have_v life_n more_o of_o god_n in_o it_o than_o these_o beside_o i_o know_v it_o be_v love_n shall_v never_o die_v but_o these_o must_v cease_v and_o vanish_v so_o i_o conclude_v a_o little_a grace_n a_o little_a love_n a_o little_a of_o the_o true_a fear_n of_o god_n be_v better_a than_o all_o these_o gift_n yea_o and_o i_o be_o full_o convince_v of_o it_o that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o a_o soul_n that_o can_v scarce_o give_v a_o man_n a_o answer_n but_o with_o great_a confusion_n as_o to_o method_n i_o say_v it_o be_v possible_a for_o they_o to_o have_v a_o thousand_o time_n more_o grace_n and_o so_o to_o be_v more_o in_o the_o love_n and_o favour_n of_o the_o lord_n than_o some_o who_o by_o virtue_n of_o the_o gift_n of_o knowledge_n can_v deliver_v themselves_o like_o angel_n a_o brief_a account_n of_o the_o author_n imprisonment_n 251._o have_v make_v profession_n of_o the_o glorious_a gospel_n of_o christ_n along_o time_n and_o have_v preach_v the_o same_o about_o five_o year_n i_o be_v apprehend_v at_o a_o meeting_n of_o good_a people_n in_o the_o country_n among_o who_o have_v they_o let_v i_o alone_o i_o shall_v â—â—ve_v preach_v that_o day_n but_o they_o take_v i_o away_o from_o among_o they_o and_o have_v i_o before_o a_o justice_n who_o after_o i_o have_v offer_v security_n for_o my_o appear_v at_o the_o next_o session_n yet_o commit_v i_o because_o my_o surety_n will_v not_o consent_v to_o be_v bind_v that_o i_o shall_v preach_v no_o more_o to_o the_o people_n 252._o at_o the_o session_n after_o i_o be_v indict_v for_o a_o upholder_n and_o maintainer_n of_o unlawful_a assembly_n and_o conventicle_n and_o for_o not_o conform_v to_o the_o national_a worship_n of_o the_o church_n of_o england_n and_o after_o some_o conference_n there_o with_o the_o justice_n be_v sentence_v to_o perpetual_a banishment_n because_o i_o refuse_v to_o conform_v so_o be_v again_o deliver_v â—p_n to_o the_o gaoler_n hand_n i_o be_v have_v home_o to_o prison_n again_o and_o there_o have_v lie_v now_o above_o five_o year_n and_o a_o quarter_n wait_v to_o see_v what_o god_n will_v suffer_v these_o mâ—n_z to_o do_v with_o i_o 253._o in_o which_o condition_n i_o have_v continue_v wiâ—h_v much_o content_n through_o grace_n but_o have_v meet_v with_o many_o tuâ—nings_n and_o going_n upon_o my_o heart_n both_o fâ—om_n the_o lord_n satan_n and_o my_o own_o corruption_n by_o all_o which_o glory_n be_v to_o jesus_n christ_n i_o have_v also_o receive_v among_o many_o thing_n much_o conviction_n instruction_n and_o understanding_n of_o which_o at_o laâ—ge_n i_o shall_v not_o here_o discourse_n only_o give_v you_o in_o a_o hint_n or_o two_o a_o word_n that_o may_v stir_v up_o the_o godly_a to_o bless_v god_n and_o to_o pray_v for_o i_o and_o also_o to_o take_v encouragement_n shall_v the_o case_n be_v their_o own_o not_o to_o fear_v what_o man_n can_v do_v unto_o they_o 254._o i_o never_o have_v in_o all_o my_o life_n so_o great_a a_o inlet_n into_o the_o word_n of_o god_n as_o now_o they_o scripture_n that_o i_o see_v nothing_o in_o before_o be_v make_v in_o this_o place_n and_o state_n to_o shine_v upon_o i_o jesus_n christ_n alâ—o_o be_v never_o more_o reâ—l_a and_o apparent_a then_o now_o here_o i_o have_v see_v he_o and_o feel_v he_o indeed_o o_o that_o word_n we_o have_v not_o preach_v unto_o you_o cunning_o devise_v fable_n 2_o pet._n 1_o 16._o and_o that_o god_n raise_v christ_n from_o the_o dead_a and_o give_v he_o glory_n that_o your_o faith_n and_o hope_n may_v be_v in_o god_n 1_o pet._n 1.20_o be_v bless_a word_n unto_o i_o in_o this_o my_o imprison_a condition_n 255._o these_o three_o or_o four_o scripture_n also_o have_v be_v great_a refreshment_n in_o this_o condition_n to_o i_o joh._n 14.1_o 2_o 3_o 4._o joh._n 16.33_o col._n 3.3_o 4._o heb._n 12.22_o 23_o 24._o so_o that_o sometime_o when_o i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o favour_n of_o they_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o laugh_v at_o destruction_n and_o â—o_o fear_v neiâ—her_o the_o horse_n nor_o his_o rider_n i_o have_v have_v sweet_a sight_n of_o the_o forgiveness_n of_o my_o sin_n in_o this_o place_n and_o of_o my_o be_v with_o jesus_n in_o another_o world_n o_o the_o mount_n zion_n the_o heavenly_a jerusalem_n the_o innumerable_a company_n of_o angel_n and_o god_n the_o judge_n of_o all_o and_o the_o spirit_n of_o just_a man_n make_v perfect_a and_o jesus_n have_v be_v sweet_a unto_o i_o in_o this_o place_n i_o have_v see_v that_o here_o that_o i_o be_o persuade_v i_o shall_v never_o while_o in_o this_o world_n be_v able_a to_o express_v i_o have_v see_v a_o truth_n in_o that_o scripture_n who_o have_v not_o see_v you_o love_v in_o who_o though_o now_o you_o see_v he_o not_o yet_o believe_v you_o rejoice_v with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n 1_o pet._n 1.8_o 256._o i_o never_o know_v what_o it_o be_v for_o god_n to_o stand_v by_o i_o at_o all_o turn_n and_o at_o every_o offer_n of_o satan_n etc._n etc._n as_o i_o have_v find_v he_o since_o i_o come_v in_o hither_o for_o look_v how_o fear_n have_v present_v themselves_o so_o have_v support_n and_o encouragement_n yea_o when_o i_o have_v start_v even_o as_o it_o be_v at_o nothing_o else_o but_o my_o shadow_n yet_o god_n as_o be_v very_o tender_a of_o i_o have_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v molest_v but_o will_v with_o one_o scripture_n and_o another_o strengthen_v i_o against_o all_o insomuch_o that_o i_o have_v often_o say_v be_v it_o lawful_a i_o can_v pray_v for_o great_a trouble_n for_o the_o great_a comfort_n sake_n eccles._n 7.14_o 2_o cor._n 1.5_o 257._o before_o i_o come_v to_o prison_n i_o see_v what_o be_v a_o come_n and_o have_v especial_o two_o consideration_n wâ—rm_v upon_o my_o heart_n the_o first_o be_v how_o to_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v shall_v my_o imprisonment_n be_v lonâ—_n and_o tedious_a the_o second_o be_v how_o to_o be_v able_a to_o encounter_v death_n shall_v that_o be_v here_o my_o portion_n for_o the_o first_o of_o these_o that_o scripture_n col._n 1.11_o be_v great_a information_n to_o i_o namely_o to_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o be_v strengthen_v with_o all_o might_n according_a to_o his_o glorious_a power_n unto_o all_o patience_n and_o long-suffering_a with_o joyfulness_n i_o can_v seldom_o go_v to_o prayer_n before_o i_o be_v imprison_v but_o for_o not_o so_o little_a as_o a_o year_n together_o this_o sentence_n of_o sweet_a petition_n will_v as_o it_o be_v thrust_v itself_o into_o my_o mind_n and_o persuade_v i_o that_o if_o ever_o i_o will_v go_v through_o long-suffering_a i_o must_v have_v all_o patience_n especial_o if_o i_o will_v endure_v it_o joyful_o 258._o as_o to_o the_o second_o consideration_n that_o say_v 2_o cor._n 1.9_o be_v of_o great_a use_n unto_o i_o but_o we_o have_v the_o sentence_n of_o death_n in_o ourselves_o that_o we_o may_v not_o trust_v in_o ourselves_o but_o in_o god_n that_o raise_v the_o dead_a by_o this_o scripture_n i_o be_v make_v to_o see_v that_o if_o ever_o i_o will_v suffer_v right_o i_o must_v first_o pass_v a_o sentence_n of_o death_n upon_o every_o thing_n that_o can_v proper_o be_v call_v a_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n even_o to_o reckon_v myself_o my_o wife_n my_o child_n my_o health_n my_o enjoyment_n and_o all_o as_o dead_a to_o i_o &_o myself_o as_o dead_a to_o they_o 259._o the_o second_o be_v to_o live_v upon_o god_n that_o be_v invisible_a as_o paul_n say_v in_o another_o place_n the_o way_n not_o to_o faint_v be_v to_o look_v not_o at_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v see_v but_o at_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o see_v for_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v see_v be_v temporal_a but_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o see_v they_o
grace._n abound_v to_o the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n or_o a_o brief_a and_o faithful_a relation_n of_o the_o exceed_v mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n to_o his_o poor_a servant_n john_n bunyan_n wherein_o be_v particular_o show_v the_o manner_n of_o his_o conversion_n his_o sight_n and_o trouble_v for_o sin_n his_o dreadful_a temptation_n also_o how_o he_o despair_v of_o god_n mercy_n and_o how_o the_o lord_n at_o length_n through_o christ_n do_v deliver_v he_o from_o all_o the_o guilt_n and_o terror_n that_o lie_v upon_o he_o whereunto_o be_v add_v a_o brief_a relation_n of_o his_o call_n to_o the_o work_n of_o the_o ministry_n of_o his_o temptation_n therein_o as_o also_o what_o he_o have_v meet_v with_o in_o prison_n all_o which_o be_v write_v by_o his_o own_o hand_n there_o and_o now_o publish_v for_o the_o support_n of_o the_o weak_a and_o tempt_v people_n of_o god_n come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n psal._n 66.16_o london_n print_v by_o george_n larkin_n 1666._o a_o preface_n or_o brief_a account_n of_o the_o publish_n of_o this_o work_n write_v by_o the_o author_n thereof_o and_o dedicate_v to_o those_o who_o god_n have_v count_v he_o worthy_a to_o beget_v to_o faith_n by_o his_o ministry_n in_o the_o word_n child_n grace_n be_v with_o you_o amen_o i_o be_v take_v from_o you_o in_o presence_n and_o so_o tie_v up_o that_o i_o can_v perform_v that_o duty_n that_o from_o god_n do_v lie_v upon_o i_o to_o you-ward_o for_o your_o further_a edify_v and_o build_v up_o in_o faith_n and_o holiness_n etc._n etc._n yet_o that_o you_o may_v see_v my_o soul_n have_v fatherly_a care_n and_o desire_v after_o your_o spiritual_a and_o everlasting_a welfare_n i_o now_o once_o again_o as_o from_o the_o top_n of_o shenir_fw-fr and_o hermon_n so_o from_o the_o lion_n den_n and_o from_o the_o mountain_n of_o the_o leopard_n song_n 4.8_o do_v look_v yet_o after_o you_o all_o great_o long_v to_o see_v your_o safe_a arrival_n into_o the_o desire_a haven_n i_o thank_v god_n upon_o every_o remembrance_n of_o you_o and_o rejoice_v even_o while_o i_o stick_v between_o the_o tooth_n of_o the_o lion_n in_o the_o wilderness_n at_o the_o grace_n and_o mercy_n and_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n our_o saviour_n which_o god_n have_v bestow_v upon_o you_o with_o abundance_n of_o faith_n and_o love_n your_o hungering_n and_o thirsting_n also_o after_o further_a acquaintance_n with_o the_o father_n in_o his_o son_n your_o tenderness_n of_o heart_n your_o tremble_a at_o sin_n your_o sober_a and_o holy_a deportment_n also_o before_o both_o god_n and_o man_n be_v great_a refreshment_n to_o i_o for_o you_o be_v my_o glory_n and_o joy_n 1_o thes._n 2.20_o i_o have_v send_v you_o here_o enclose_v a_o drop_n of_o that_o honey_n that_o i_o have_v take_v out_o of_o the_o carcase_n of_o a_o lion_n judg._n 14.5_o 6_o 7_o 8._o i_o have_v eat_v thereof_o myself_o also_o and_o be_o much_o refresh_v thereby_o temptation_n when_o we_o meet_v they_o at_o first_o be_v as_o the_o lion_n that_o roar_v upon_o samson_n but_o if_o we_o overcome_v they_o the_o next_o time_n we_o see_v they_o we_o shall_v find_v a_o nest_n of_o honey_n within_o they_o the_o philistian_o understand_v i_o not_o it_o be_v a_o relation_n of_o the_o work_n of_o god_n upon_o my_o own_o soul_n even_o from_o the_o very_a first_o till_o now_o wherein_o you_o may_v perceive_v my_o casting_n down_o and_o raising_n up_o for_o he_o wound_v and_o his_o hand_n make_v whole_a it_o be_v write_v in_o the_o scripture_n isai._n 38.19_o the_o father_n to_o the_o child_n shall_v make_v know_v the_o truth_n of_o god_n yea_o it_o be_v for_o this_o reason_n i_o lay_v so_o long_o at_o sinai_n leu._n 4.10_o 11._o to_o see_v the_o fire_n and_o the_o cloud_n and_o the_o darkness_n that_o i_o may_v fear_v the_o lord_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n upon_o earth_n and_o tell_v of_o his_o wondrous_a work_n to_o my_o child_n psal._n 78.3_o 4_o 5._o moses_n numb_a 33.1_o 2._o writ_n of_o the_o journeying_n of_o the_o child_n of_o israel_n from_o egypt_n to_o the_o land_n of_o canaan_n and_o command_v also_o that_o they_o do_v remember_v their_o forty_o year_n travel_n in_o the_o wilderness_n thou_o shall_v remem-all_a the_o way_n which_o the_o lord_n thy_o god_n lead_v thou_o these_o forty_o year_n in_o the_o wilderness_n to_o humble_v thou_o and_o to_o prove_v thou_o and_o to_o know_v what_o be_v in_o thy_o heart_n whether_o thou_o will_v keep_v his_o commandment_n or_o no_o deut._n 8.2_o 3._o wherefore_o this_o i_o have_v endeavour_v to_o do_v and_o not_o only_o so_o but_o to_o publish_v it_o also_o that_o if_o god_n will_v other_o may_v be_v put_v in_o remembrance_n of_o of_o what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o their_o soul_n by_o read_v his_o work_n upon_o i_o it_o be_v profitable_a for_o christian_n to_o be_v often_o call_v to_o mind_n the_o very_a beginning_n of_o grace_n with_o their_o soul_n it_o be_v a_o night_n to_o be_v much_o observe_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o bring_v they_o out_o from_o the_o land_n of_o egypt_n this_o be_v that_o night_n of_o the_o lord_n to_o be_v observe_v of_o all_o the_o child_n of_o israel_n in_o their_o generation_n exod._n 12.42_o my_o god_n say_v david_n psal._n 42.6_o my_o soul_n be_v cast_v down_o within_o i_o but_o i_o will_v remember_v thou_o from_o the_o land_n of_o jordan_n and_o of_o the_o hermonite_n from_o the_o hill_n mizar_n he_o remember_v also_o the_o lion_n and_o the_o bear_n when_o he_o go_v to_o fight_v with_o the_o giant_n of_o gath_n 1_o sam._n 17.36_o 37_o it_o be_v paul_n accustom_a manner_n act_v 22._o and_o that_o when_o try_v for_o his_o life_n act_v 24._o even_o to_o open_v before_o his_o judge_n the_o manner_n of_o his_o conversion_n he_o will_v think_v of_o that_o day_n and_o that_o hour_n in_o the_o which_o he_o first_o do_v meet_v with_o grace_n for_o he_o find_v it_o support_v unto_o he_o when_o god_n have_v bring_v the_o child_n of_o israel_n through_o the_o red_a sea_n far_o into_o the_o wilderness_n yet_o they_o must_v turn_v quite_o about_o thither_o again_o to_o remember_v the_o drown_n of_o their_o enemy_n there_o num._n 14.25_o for_o though_o they_o sing_v his_o praise_n before_o yet_o they_o soon_o forget_v his_o work_n psal._n 106.11_o 12._o in_o this_o discourse_n of_o i_o you_o may_v see_v much_o much_o i_o say_v of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o i_o thank_v god_n i_o can_v count_v it_o much_o for_o it_o be_v above_o my_o sin_n and_o satan_n temptation_n too_o i_o can_v remember_v my_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o sad_a month_n with_o comfort_n they_o be_v as_o the_o head_n of_o goliath_n in_o my_o hand_n there_o be_v nothing_o to_o david_n like_o goliahs_n sword_n even_o that_o sword_n that_o shall_v have_v be_v sheathe_v in_o his_o bowel_n for_o the_o very_a sight_n and_o remembrance_n of_o that_o do_v preach_v forth_o god_n deliverance_n to_o he_o o_o the_o remembrance_n of_o my_o great_a sin_n of_o my_o great_a temptation_n and_o of_o my_o great_a fear_n of_o perish_v for_o ever_o they_o bring_v fresh_a into_o my_o mind_n the_o remembrance_n of_o my_o great_a help_n my_o great_a support_n from_o heaven_n and_o the_o great_a grace_n that_o god_n extend_v to_o such_o a_o wretch_n as_o i_o my_o dear_a child_n call_v to_o mind_v the_o former_a day_n the_o year_n of_o ancient_a time_n remember_v also_o your_o song_n in_o the_o night_n and_o commune_v with_o your_o own_o heart_n psal._n 73.5_o 6_o 7_o 8_o 9_o 10_o 11_o 12._o yea_o look_v diligent_o and_o leave_v no_o corner_n therein_o unsearched_a for_o there_o be_v treasure_n hide_v even_o the_o treasure_n of_o your_o first_o and_o second_o experience_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n towards_o you_o remember_v i_o say_v the_o word_n that_o first_o lay_v hold_v upon_o you_o remember_v your_o terror_n of_o conscience_n and_o fear_v of_o death_n and_o hell_n remember_v also_o your_o tear_n and_o prayer_n to_o god_n yea_o how_o you_o sigh_v under_o every_o hedge_n for_o mercy_n have_v you_o never_o a_o hill_n mizar_n to_o remember_v have_v you_o forget_v the_o close_a the_o milk-house_n the_o stable_a the_o barn_n and_o the_o like_a where_o god_n do_v visit_v your_o soul_n remember_v also_o the_o word_n the_o word_n i_o say_v upon_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v cause_v you_o to_o hope_v if_o you_o have_v sin_v against_o light_n if_o you_o be_v tempt_v to_o blaspheme_v if_o you_o be_v down_o in_o despair_n if_o you_o think_v god_n fight_v against_o you_o or_o if_o heaven_n be_v hide_v from_o your_o eye_n remember_v it_o be_v thus_o with_o your_o father_n but_o out_o of_o they_o all_o the_o lord_n deliver_v
than_o now_o i_o dare_v not_o take_v a_o pin_n or_o a_o stick_n though_o but_o so_o big_a as_o a_o straw_n for_o my_o conscience_n now_o be_v sore_a and_o will_v smart_v at_o every_o touch_n i_o can_v not_o now_o tell_v how_o to_o speak_v my_o word_n for_o fear_n i_o shall_v mis-place_n they_o o_o how_o gingerly_o do_v i_o then_o go_v in_o all_o i_o do_v or_o say_v i_o find_v myself_o as_o on_o a_o miry_a bog_n that_o shake_v if_o i_o do_v but_o stir_v and_o as_o there_o left_a both_o of_o god_n and_o christ_n and_o the_o spirit_n and_o all_o good_a thing_n 70._o and_o though_o i_o be_v thus_o trouble_v and_o toss_v and_o afflict_v with_o the_o sight_n and_o sense_n and_o terror_n of_o my_o own_o wickedness_n yet_o i_o be_v afraid_a to_o let_v this_o sense_n and_o sight_n go_v quite_o off_o my_o mind_n for_o i_o find_v that_o unless_o guilt_n of_o conscience_n be_v take_v off_o the_o right_a way_n that_o be_v by_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n a_o man_n grow_v rather_o worse_o for_o the_o loss_n of_o his_o trouble_n of_o mind_n than_o better_a wherefore_o if_o my_o guilt_n lie_v hard_o upon_o i_o than_o i_o shall_v cry_v that_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n may_v take_v it_o off_o and_o if_o it_o be_v go_v off_o without_o it_o for_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n will_v be_v sometime_o as_o if_o it_o will_v die_v and_o go_v quite_o away_o than_o i_o will_v also_o strive_v to_o fetch_v it_o upon_o my_o heart_n again_o by_o bring_v the_o punishment_n for_o sin_n in_o hell-fire_n upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o shall_v cry_v lord_n let_v it_o not_o go_v off_o my_o heart_n but_o the_o right_a way_n but_o by_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n and_o by_o the_o application_n of_o thy_o mercy_n through_o he_o to_o my_o soul_n for_o that_o scripture_n lie_v much_o upon_o i_o without_o shed_v of_o blood_n there_o be_v no_o remission_n heb._n 9.22_o and_o that_o which_o make_v i_o the_o more_o afraid_a of_o this_o be_v because_o i_o have_v see_v some_o who_o tho_o when_o they_o be_v under_o wound_n of_o conscience_n than_o they_o will_v cry_v and_o pray_v but_o they_o seek_v rather_o present_a ease_n from_o their_o trouble_n then_o pardon_v foâ—_n their_o sin_n care_v not_o how_o they_o lose_v their_o guilt_n 〈◊〉_d they_o get_v it_o out_o of_o their_o mind_n and_o therefore_o have_v get_v it_o off_o the_o wrong_a way_n it_o be_v not_o sanctifieâ—_n unto_o they_o but_o they_o grow_v hard_a and_o blind_a anâ—_n more_o wicked_a after_o their_o trouble_n this_o make_v 〈◊〉_d afraid_a and_o make_v i_o cry_v to_o god_n that_o it_o may_v noâ—_n be_v so_o with_o i_o 71._o and_o now_o be_v i_o sorry_a that_o god_n have_v make_v mâ—_n a_o man_n for_o i_o fear_v i_o be_v a_o reprobate_n i_o counteâ—_n man_n as_o unconvert_v the_o most_o doleful_a of_o all_o thâ—_n creature_n thus_o be_v afflict_v and_o toss_v abouâ—_n my_o sad_a condition_n i_o count_v myself_o alone_o anâ—_n above_o the_o most_o of_o man_n unblessed_a in_o this_o condition_n i_o go_v a_o great_a while_n but_o when_o comfort_v timâ—_n be_v come_v i_o hear_v one_o preach_v a_o sermon_n upoâ—_n those_o word_n in_o the_o song_n song_n 4.1_o behold_v thou_o anâ—_n fair_a my_o love_n behold_v thou_o be_v fair_a but_o at_o that_o timâ—_n he_o make_v these_o two_o word_n my_o love_n his_o chief_a anâ—_n subject_a matter_n from_o which_o after_o he_o have_v a_o littlâ—_n open_v the_o text_n he_o observe_v these_o several_a conclusion_n 1._o that_o the_o church_n and_o so_o every_o save_v soul_n 〈◊〉_d christ_n love_n when_o loveless_a 2._o christ_n love_n without_o 〈◊〉_d cause_n 3._o christ_n love_n when_o hate_v of_o the_o world_n 4._o christ_n love_n when_o under_o temptation_n and_o under_o diâ—sertion_n 5._o christ_n love_n from_o first_o to_o last_o 72._o but_o i_o get_v nothing_o by_o what_o he_o say_v at_o present_a only_o when_o he_o come_v to_o the_o application_n of_o the_o four_o particular_a this_o be_v the_o word_n he_o say_v if_o it_o be_v so_o thâ—â—_n the_o save_v soul_n be_v christ_n love_n when_o under_o temptation_n and_o dissertion_n then_o poor_a tempt_v soul_n when_o thou_o be_v assault_v and_o afflict_v with_o temptation_n and_o the_o hiding_n 〈◊〉_d god_n face_n yet_o think_v on_o these_o two_o word_n my_o love_n still_o 73._o so_o as_o i_o be_v a_o go_v home_o these_o word_n camâ—_n again_o into_o my_o thought_n and_o i_o well_o remember_v aâ—_n they_o come_v in_o i_o say_v thus_o in_o my_o heart_n what_o shall_v i_o get_v by_o think_v on_o these_o two_o word_n this_o thought_n have_v no_o soon_o pass_v through_o my_o heart_n but_o the_o word_n begin_v thus_o to_o kindle_v in_o my_o spirit_n thou_o be_v my_o love_n thou_o be_v my_o love_n twenty_o time_n together_o and_o still_o as_o they_o run_v thus_o in_o my_o mind_n they_o wax_v strong_a and_o warm_a and_o begin_v to_o make_v i_o look_v up_o but_o be_v as_o yet_o between_o hope_n and_o fear_n i_o still_o reply_v in_o my_o heart_n but_o be_v it_o true_a too_o but_o be_v it_o true_a at_o which_o that_o sentence_n fall_v in_o upon_o i_o he_o wist_v not_o that_o it_o be_v true_a which_o be_v do_v unto_o he_o of_o the_o angel_n act._n 12.9_o 74._o then_o i_o begin_v to_o give_v place_n to_o the_o word_n which_o with_o power_n do_v over_o and_o over_o make_v this_o joyful_a sound_n within_o my_o soul_n thou_o be_v my_o love_n thou_o be_v my_o love_n and_o nothing_o shall_v separate_v thou_o from_o my_o love_n and_o with_o that_o rom._n 8.39_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n now_o be_v my_o heart_n fill_v full_a of_o comfort_n and_o hope_n and_o now_o i_o can_v believe_v that_o my_o sin_n shall_v be_v forgive_v i_o wherefore_o i_o say_v in_o my_o soul_n with_o much_o gladness_n well_o i_o will_v i_o have_v a_o pen_n and_o ink_n here_o i_o will_v write_v this_o down_o before_o i_o go_v any_o further_a for_o sure_o i_o will_v not_o forget_v this_o forty_o year_n hence_o but_o alas_o within_o less_o than_o forty_o day_n i_o begin_v to_o question_v all_o again_o 75._o yet_o still_o at_o time_n i_o be_v help_v to_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v a_o true_a manifestation_n of_o grace_n unto_o my_o soul_n though_o i_o have_v lose_v much_o of_o the_o life_n and_o savour_n of_o it_o now_o about_o a_o week_n or_o fortnight_n after_o this_o i_o be_v much_o follow_v by_o this_o scripture_n simon_n simon_n behold_v satan_n have_v desire_v to_o have_v you_o luk._n 22.31_o and_o sometime_o it_o will_v sound_v so_o loud_o within_o i_o yea_o and_o as_o it_o be_v call_v so_o strong_o after_o i_o that_o once_o above_o all_o the_o rest_n i_o turn_v my_o head_n over_o my_o shoulder_n think_v very_o that_o some_o man_n have_v behind_o i_o call_v to_o i_o be_v at_o a_o great_a distance_n 76._o but_o so_o foolish_a be_v i_o and_o ignorant_a that_o i_o know_v not_o the_o reason_n of_o this_o sound_n which_o as_o i_o do_v both_o see_v and_o feel_v soon_o after_o be_v send_v from_o heaven_n as_o a_o alarm_n to_o awaken_v i_o to_o provide_v for_o what_o be_v come_v only_o it_o will_v make_v i_o muse_v and_o wonder_v in_o my_o mind_n to_o think_v what_o shall_v be_v the_o reason_n that_o this_o scripture_n and_o that_o at_o this_o rate_n so_o often_o and_o so_o loud_a shall_v still_o be_v sound_v and_o rattle_v in_o my_o ear_n but_o as_o i_o say_v before_o i_o soon_o after_o perceive_v the_o end_n of_o god_n therein_o 77._o for_o about_o the_o space_n of_o a_o month_n after_o a_o very_a great_a storm_n come_v down_o upon_o i_o which_o handle_v i_o twenty_o time_n worse_o than_o all_o i_o have_v meet_v with_o before_o it_o come_v steal_v upon_o i_o now_o by_o one_o piece_n then_o by_o another_o first_o all_o my_o comfort_n be_v take_v from_o i_o than_o darkness_n seize_v upon_o i_o after_o which_o whole_a flood_n of_o blasphemy_n both_o against_o god_n christ_n and_o the_o scripture_n be_v pour_v upon_o my_o spirit_n to_o my_o great_a confusion_n and_o astonishment_n these_o blasphemous_a thought_n be_v such_o as_o also_o stir_v up_o question_n in_o i_o against_o the_o very_a be_v of_o god_n and_o of_o his_o only_a belove_a son_n as_o whether_o there_o be_v in_o truth_n a_o god_n or_o christ_n or_o no_o and_o whether_o the_o holy_a scripture_n be_v not_o rather_o a_o fable_n and_o cunning_a story_n than_o the_o holy_a and_o pure_a word_n of_o god_n 78._o the_o tempter_n also_o will_v much_o assault_v i_o with_o this_o how_o can_v you_o tell_v but_o that_o the_o turkâ—_n have_v as_o good_a scripture_n to_o prove_v their_o mahomet_n the_o saviour_n as_o we_o have_v to_o prove_v our_o jesus_n be_v and_o can_v i_o think_v that_o so_o many_o ten_o
very_a deep_a pause_n about_o the_o most_o fearful_a state_n my_o sin_n have_v bring_v i_o to_o and_o after_o long_o muse_v i_o lift_v up_o my_o head_n but_o i_o think_v i_o see_v as_o if_o the_o sun_n that_o shine_v in_o the_o heaven_n do_v grudge_v to_o give_v i_o light_n and_o as_o if_o the_o very_a stone_n the_o street_n and_o tile_n upon_o the_o house_n do_v bend_v themselves_o against_o i_o o_o how_o happâ—_n now_o be_v every_o creature_n over_o i_o be_v for_o they_o stooâ—_n fast_o and_o keep_v their_o station_n but_o i_o be_v go_v anâ—_n lose_v 143._o then_o break_v out_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o say_v with_o a_o grievous_a sigh_n how_o can_v god_n comfort_v such_o a_o wretch_n as_o i_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v it_o but_o this_o return_v upon_o i_o as_o a_o echo_n do_v answer_v a_o voice_n this_o sin_n be_v not_o unto_o death_n at_o which_o i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v raise_v out_o of_o a_o grave_n and_o cry_v out_o again_o lord_n how_o can_v thou_o find_v out_o such_o a_o word_n as_o this_o for_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o admiration_n at_o the_o firness_n and_o also_o at_o the_o unexpectedness_n of_o the_o sentence_n 144._o now_o i_o be_v in_o hope_n that_o my_o sin_n be_v not_o unpardonable_a but_o that_o there_o may_v be_v hope_n for_o i_o to_o obtain_v forgiveness_n but_o o_o how_o satan_n now_o diâ—_n lie_v about_o he_o for_o to_o bring_v i_o down_o again_o but_o he_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n do_v it_o neither_o this_o day_n nor_o the_o most_o part_n of_o the_o next_o for_o this_o good_a sentence_n stand_v like_o a_o mill-post_n at_o my_o back_n yet_o towards_o the_o evening_n of_o the_o next_o day_n i_o feel_v this_o word_n begin_v to_o leave_v i_o and_o to_o withdraw_v its_o supportation_n from_o i_o and_o so_o i_o return_v to_o my_o old_a fear_n again_o but_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o grudge_v and_o peevishness_n for_o i_o fear_v the_o sorrow_n of_o it_o 145._o but_o the_o next_o day_n at_o evening_n be_v under_o many_o fear_n i_o go_v to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o as_o i_o pray_v i_o cry_v to_o he_o in_o these_o word_n o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o show_v i_o that_o thou_o have_v lâ—ved_v i_o with_o a_o everlasting_a love_n jer._n 31.3_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v it_o but_o with_o sweetness_n it_o return_v upon_o i_o i_o have_v love_v thou_o with_o a_o everlasting_a lâ—ve_n now_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n at_o quiet_a also_o when_o i_o awake_v the_o next_o morning_n it_o be_v fresh_a upon_o my_o soul_n 146._o but_o yet_o the_o tempter_n leave_v i_o not_o for_o it_o can_v not_o be_v so_o little_a as_o a_o hundâ—ed_o time_n that_o he_o that_o day_n do_v labour_n to_o break_v my_o peace_n o_o the_o combat_n and_o conflict_n that_o i_o do_v then_o meet_v with_o as_o i_o strive_v to_o hold_v by_o this_o word_n that_o of_o esau_n will_v fly_v in_o my_o face_n like_v to_o lightning_n i_o shall_v be_v sometime_o up_o and_o down_o twenty_o time_n in_o a_o hour_n yet_o god_n do_v bear_v i_o up_o and_o keep_v my_o heart_n upon_o this_o word_n from_o which_o i_o have_v also_o for_o several_a day_n together_o very_a much_o sweetness_n and_o comfortable_a hope_n of_o pardon_n for_o thus_o it_o be_v make_v out_o to_o i_o i_o love_v thou_o whilst_o thou_o be_v commit_v this_o sin_n i_o love_v thou_o before_o i_o love_v thou_o still_o and_o i_o will_v love_v thou_o for_o ever_o 147._o yet_o i_o see_v my_o sin_n most_o barbarous_a and_o a_o filthy_a crime_n and_o can_v not_o but_o conclude_v and_o that_o with_o great_a shame_n and_o astonishment_n that_o i_o have_v horrible_o abuse_v the_o holy_a son_n of_o god_n wherefore_o i_o feel_v my_o soul_n great_o to_o love_n and_o pity_v he_o and_o my_o bowel_n to_o yearn_v towards_o he_o for_o i_o see_v he_o be_v still_o my_o friend_n and_o do_v reward_v i_o good_a for_o evil_a yea_o the_o love_n and_o affection_n that_o then_o do_v burn_v within_o to_o my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n do_v work_v at_o this_o time_n such_o strong_a and_o hot_a desire_n of_o revengement_n upon_o myself_o for_o the_o abuse_n i_o have_v do_v unto_o he_o that_o to_o speak_v as_o then_o i_o think_v have_v i_o have_v a_o thousand_o gallon_n of_o blood_n within_o my_o vein_n i_o can_v free_o have_v spill_v it_o all_o at_o the_o command_n and_o foot_n of_o this_o my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n 148._o and_o as_o i_o be_v thus_o in_o muse_v and_o in_o my_o study_n how_o to_o love_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o express_v my_o love_n to_o he_o that_o say_v come_v in_o upon_o i_o if_o thou_o lord_n shall_v mark_v iniquity_n o_o lord_n who_o shall_v stand_v but_o there_o be_v forgiveness_n with_o thou_o that_o thou_o may_v be_v fear_v psal._n 130.4_o these_o be_v good_a word_n to_o i_o especial_o the_o latter_a part_n thereof_o to_o wit_n that_o there_o be_v forgiveness_n with_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o may_v be_v fear_v that_o be_v as_o than_o i_o understand_v it_o that_o he_o may_v be_v love_v and_o have_v in_o reverence_n for_o it_o be_v thus_o make_v out_o to_o i_o that_o the_o great_a god_n do_v setâ—_n foâ—_n high_a a_o esteem_n upon_o the_o love_n of_o his_o poor_a creature_n thâ—â—_n rather_o than_o he_o will_v go_v without_o their_o love_n he_o will_v pardon_v their_o transgression_n 149._o and_o now_o be_v that_o word_n fulfil_v on_o i_o and_o i_o be_v also_o refresh_v by_o it_o then_o shall_v they_o be_v ashamed_a and_o confound_v and_o never_o open_v their_o mouth_n any_o more_o because_o of_o their_o shame_n when_o i_o be_o pacify_v towards_o thou_o for_o all_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v say_v the_o lord_n god_n ezek._n 16.36_o thus_o be_v my_o soul_n at_o this_o time_n and_o as_o i_o then_o do_v think_v for_o ever_o set_v at_o liberty_n from_o be_v again_o afflict_v with_o my_o former_a guilt_n and_o amazement_n 150._o but_o before_o many_o week_n be_v over_o i_o begin_v to_o dispond_v again_o fear_v lest_o notwithstanding_o all_o that_o i_o have_v enjoy_v that_o yet_o i_o may_v be_v deceive_v and_o destroy_v at_o the_o last_o for_o this_o consideration_n come_v strong_a into_o my_o mind_n that_o whatever_o comfort_n and_o peace_n i_o think_v i_o may_v have_v from_o the_o word_n of_o the_o promise_n of_o life_n yet_o unless_o there_o can_v be_v find_v in_o my_o refreshment_n a_o concurrence_n and_o agreement_n in_o the_o scripture_n let_v i_o think_v what_o i_o will_v thereof_o and_o hold_v it_o never_o so_o fast_o i_o shall_v find_v no_o such_o thing_n at_o the_o end_n for_o the_o scripture_n can_v be_v break_v john_n 10.35_o 151._o now_o begin_v my_o heart_n again_o to_o take_v and_o fear_v i_o may_v meet_v with_o disappointment_n at_o the_o last_o wherefore_o i_o begin_v with_o all_o seriousness_n to_o examine_v my_o former_a comfort_n and_o to_o consider_v whether_o one_o that_o have_v sin_v as_o i_o have_v do_v may_v with_o confidence_n trust_v upon_o the_o faithfulness_n of_o god_n lay_v down_o in_o those_o word_n by_o which_o i_o have_v be_v comfort_v and_o on_o which_o i_o have_v lean_v myself_o but_o now_o be_v bring_v those_o say_n to_o my_o mind_n for_o it_o be_v impossible_a for_o those_o who_o be_v once_o enlighten_v and_o have_v taste_v the_o heavenly_a gift_n and_o be_v make_v partaker_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o have_v taste_v the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n and_o the_o power_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v if_o they_o shall_v fall_v away_o to_o renew_v thâ—m_n again_o unto_o repentance_n heb._n 6._o for_o if_o we_o sin_v wilful_o after_o we_o have_v receive_v the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n there_o remain_v no_o more_o sacrifice_n for_o sin_n but_o a_o certain_a fearful_a look_v for_o of_o judgement_n and_o fiery_a indignation_n which_o shall_v devour_v the_o adutrsary_n heb._n 10._o even_o as_o esau_n who_o for_o one_o morsel_n of_o meat_n sell_v his_o birthright_n for_o you_o know_v how_o that_o afterward_o when_o he_o will_v have_v inherit_v the_o blessing_n he_o be_v reject_v for_o he_o find_v no_o place_n of_o repentance_n though_o he_o seek_v it_o careful_o with_o tear_n heb._n 12._o 152._o now_o be_v the_o word_n of_o the_o gospel_n force_v from_o my_o soul_n so_o that_o no_o promise_n or_o encouragement_n be_v to_o be_v find_v in_o the_o bible_n for_o i_o and_o now_o will_v that_o say_n work_n upon_o my_o spirit_n to_o afflict_v i_o rejoice_v not_o o_o israel_n for_o joy_n as_o other_o people_n hos._n 9.1_o for_o i_o see_v indeed_o there_o be_v cause_n of_o rejoice_v for_o those_o that_o hold_v to_o jesus_n but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o have_v cut_v myself_o off_o by_o my_o transgression_n and_o leave_v
this_o sentence_n fall_v upon_o my_o soul_n thy_o righteousness_n be_v in_o heaven_n and_o methinks_v withal_o i_o see_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n jesus_n christ_n at_o god_n right_a hand_n there_o i_o say_v as_o my_o righteousness_n so_o that_o wherever_o i_o be_v or_o whatever_o i_o be_v a_o do_v god_n can_v not_o say_v of_o i_o he_o want_v my_o righteousness_n for_o that_o be_v just_a before_o he_o i_o also_o see_v moreover_o that_o it_o be_v not_o my_o good_a frame_n of_o heart_n that_o make_v my_o righteousness_n better_o nor_o yet_o my_o bad_a frame_n that_o make_v my_o righteousness_n worse_o for_o my_o righteousness_n be_v jesus_n christ_n himself_o the_o same_o yesterday_o to_o day_n and_o for_o ever_o heb._n 13.8_o 184._o now_o do_v my_o chain_n fall_v off_o my_o leg_n indeed_o i_o be_v loose_v from_o my_o affliction_n and_o iron_n my_o temptation_n also_o flee_v away_o so_o that_o from_o that_o time_n those_o dreadful_a scripture_n of_o god_n leave_v off_o to_o trouble_v i_o now_o go_v i_o also_o home_n rejoice_v for_o the_o grace_n and_o love_n of_o god_n so_o when_o i_o care_v home_o i_o look_v to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v find_v that_o sentence_n thy_o righteousness_n be_v in_o heaven_n but_o can_v not_o find_v such_o a_o say_v wherefore_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o sink_v again_o only_o that_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n he_o be_v make_v unto_o we_o of_o god_n wisdom_n righteousness_n sanctification_n and_o redemption_n by_o this_o word_n i_o see_v the_o other_o sentence_n true_a 185._o for_o by_o this_o scripture_n i_o see_v that_o the_o man_n christ_n jesus_n as_o he_o be_v distinct_a from_o we_o as_o touch_v his_o bodily_a presence_n so_o he_o be_v our_o righteousness_n and_o sanctification_n before_o god_n here_o therefore_o i_o live_v for_o some_o time_n very_o sweet_o at_o peace_n with_o god_n through_o christ_n o_o methinks_v christ_n christ_n there_o be_v nothing_o but_o christ_n that_o be_v before_o my_o eye_n i_o be_v not_o now_o only_o for_o look_v upon_o this_o and_o the_o other_o benefit_n of_o christ_n apart_o as_o of_o his_o blood_n burial_n or_o resurrection_n but_o consider_v he_o as_o whole_a christ_n as_o he_o in_o who_o all_o these_o and_o all_o his_o other_o virtue_n relation_n office_n and_o operation_n meet_v together_o and_o that_o on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o god_n in_o heaven_n 186._o it_o be_v glorious_a to_o i_o to_o see_v his_o exaltation_n and_o the_o worth_n and_o prevalencie_n of_o all_o his_o benefit_n and_o that_o because_o of_o this_o now_o i_o can_v look_v from_o myself_o to_o he_o and_o shall_v reckon_v that_o all_o those_o grace_n of_o god_n that_o now_o be_v green_a in_o i_o be_v yet_o but_o like_o those_o crack'd-groat_n and_o four-pence-half-penny_n that_o rich_a man_n carry_v in_o their_o purse_n when_o their_o gold_n be_v in_o their_o trunk_n at_o home_n o_o i_o see_v my_o gold_n be_v in_o my_o trunk_n at_o home_n in_o christ_n my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n now_o christ_n be_v all_o all_o my_o wisdom_n all_o my_o righteousness_n all_o my_o sanctification_n and_o all_o my_o redemption_n 187._o further_o the_o lord_n do_v also_o lead_v i_o into_o the_o mystery_n of_o union_n with_o this_o son_n of_o god_n that_o i_o be_v join_v to_o he_o that_o i_o be_v flesh_n of_o his_o flesh_n and_o bone_n of_o his_o bone_n and_o now_o be_v that_o a_o sweet_a word_n to_o i_o in_o ephes._n 5.3_o by_o this_o also_o be_v my_o faith_n in_o he_o as_o my_o righteousness_n the_o more_o confirm_v to_o i_o for_o if_o he_o and_o i_o be_v one_o than_o his_o righteousness_n be_v i_o his_o merit_n my_o his_o victory_n also_o i_o now_o can_v i_o see_v myself_o in_o heaven_n and_o earth_n at_o once_o in_o heaven_n by_o my_o christ_n by_o my_o head_n by_o my_o righteousness_n and_o life_n though_o on_o earth_n by_o my_o body_n or_o person_n 188._o now_o i_o see_v christ_n jesus_n be_v look_v on_o of_o god_n and_o shall_v also_o be_v look_v upon_o by_o we_o as_o that_o common_a or_o public_a person_n in_o who_o all_o tâ—e_v whole_a body_n of_o his_o elect_n be_v always_o to_o be_v consider_v and_o reckon_v that_o we_o fulfil_v the_o law_n by_o he_o die_v by_o he_o rose_z from_o the_o dead_a by_o he_o get_v the_o victory_n over_o sin_n death_n the_o devil_n and_o hell_n by_o he_o when_o he_o die_v we_o die_v and_o so_o of_o his_o resurrection_n thy_o dead_a man_n shall_v live_v together_o with_o my_o dead_a body_n shall_v they_o arise_v say_v he_o isa._n 26._o and_o again_o after_o two_o day_n he_o will_v revive_v we_o and_o the_o three_o day_n we_o shall_v live_v in_o his_o sight_n hos._n 6.2_o which_o be_v now_o fulfil_v by_o the_o sit_v down_o of_o the_o son_n of_o man_n on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o the_o majesty_n in_o the_o heaven_n according_a to_o that_o to_o the_o ephesian_n he_o have_v raise_v we_o up_o together_o and_o make_v we_o sit_v together_o in_o heavenly_a place_n in_o christ_n jesus_n ephes._n 2.6_o 189._o ah_o these_o bless_a consideration_n and_o scripture_n with_o many_o other_o of_o a_o like_a nature_n be_v in_o those_o day_n make_v to_o spangle_v in_o my_o eye_n praise_v you_o the_o lord_n god_n in_o his_o sanctuary_n praise_v he_o in_o the_o firmament_n of_o his_o power_n praise_v he_o for_o his_o mighty_a act_n praise_v he_o according_a to_o his_o excellent_a greatness_n psal._n 150.1_o 2._o 190._o have_v thus_o in_o few_o word_n giâ—en_v you_o a_o taste_n of_o the_o sorrow_n and_o affliction_n that_o my_o soul_n go_v under_o by_o the_o guilt_n and_o terror_n that_o this_o my_o wicked_a thought_n do_v lay_v i_o under_o and_o have_v give_v you_o also_o a_o touch_n of_o my_o deliverance_n therefrom_o and_o of_o the_o sweet_a and_o bless_a comfort_n that_o i_o meet_v with_o afterward_o which_o comfort_n dwell_v about_o a_o twelvemonth_n with_o my_o heart_n to_o my_o unspeakable_a admiraration_n i_o will_v now_o god_n will_v before_o i_o proceed_v any_o further_a give_v yoâ—_n in_o a_o word_n or_o two_o what_o as_o i_o conceive_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o this_o temptation_n and_o also_o after_o thaâ—_n what_o advantage_n at_o tâ—e_v last_v it_o become_v unto_o my_o soul_n 191._o for_o the_o cause_n i_o conceive_v they_o be_v principal_o two_o of_o which_o two_o also_o i_o be_v deep_o convince_v all_o the_o time_n this_o trouble_n lie_v upon_o i_o the_o first_o be_v foâ—_n that_o i_o do_v not_o when_o i_o be_v deliver_v from_o the_o temptation_n that_o go_v before_o still_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o keep_v i_o from_o temptation_n that_o be_v to_o come_v for_o though_o as_o i_o can_v say_v in_o truth_n my_o soul_n be_v much_o in_o prayer_n before_o this_o trial_n seize_v i_o yet_o than_o i_o pray_v only_o or_o at_o the_o most_o principal_o for_o the_o removal_n of_o present_a trouble_n and_o for_o fâ—esh_a discovery_n of_o love_n in_o christ_n which_o i_o see_v afterwards_o be_v not_o enough_o to_o do_v i_o also_o shall_v have_v pray_v that_o the_o great_a god_n will_v keep_v i_o from_o the_o evil_a that_o be_v to_o come_v 192._o of_o thâ—s_n i_o be_v make_v deep_o sensible_a by_o the_o prayer_n of_o holy_a david_n who_o when_o he_o be_v under_o present_a mercy_n yet_o pray_v that_o god_n will_v hold_v he_o back_o from_o sin_n and_o temptation_n to_o come_v for_o then_o say_v he_o shall_v i_o be_v upright_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v innocent_a from_o the_o great_a transgression_n psal._n 19.13_o by_o this_o very_a word_n be_v i_o gauâ—ed_v and_o condemn_v quite_o through_o this_o long_a temptation_n 193._o that_o also_o be_v another_o word_n that_o do_v much_o condemn_v i_o for_o my_o folly_n in_o the_o neglect_n of_o this_o duty_n heb._n 4.16_o let_v we_o therefore_o come_v bold_o to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n that_o we_o may_v obtain_v mercy_n and_o find_v grace_n to_o help_v in_o time_n of_o need_n this_o i_o have_v not_o do_v and_o therefore_o be_v suffer_v thus_o to_o sin_n and_o fall_v according_a to_o what_o be_v write_v pray_v that_o you_o enter_v not_o into_o temptation_n and_o tru_o this_o veâ—y_a thing_n be_v to_o this_o day_n of_o such_o weight_n and_o awe_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o dare_v not_o when_o i_o come_v before_o the_o loâ—d_n go_v off_o my_o knee_n until_o i_o entreat_v he_o for_o help_n and_o mercy_n against_o the_o â—_z that_o be_v to_o come_v and_o i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o reader_n that_o thou_o learn_v to_o beware_v of_o my_o negligence_n by_o the_o affliction_n that_o for_o this_o thing_n i_o do_v for_o day_n and_o month_n and_o year_n with_o sorrow_n undergo_v 194._o another_o cause_n of_o this_o temptation_n be_v that_o i_o have_v tempt_v god_n and_o on_o this_o manner_n do_v i_o do_v it_o upon_o a_o
servant_n for_o i_o have_v not_o preach_v long_o before_o some_o begin_v to_o be_v touch_v by_o the_o word_n and_o to_o be_v great_o afflict_v in_o their_o mind_n at_o the_o apprehension_n of_o the_o greatness_n of_o their_o sin_n and_o of_o their_o need_n of_o jesus_n christ._n 226._o but_o i_o at_o first_o can_v not_o believe_v that_o god_n shall_v speak_v by_o i_o to_o the_o heart_n of_o any_o man_n still_o count_v myself_o unworthy_a yet_o those_o who_o thus_o be_v touch_v will_v love_v i_o and_o have_v a_o peculiar_a respect_n for_o i_o and_o though_o i_o do_v put_v it_o from_o i_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v awaken_v by_o i_o still_o they_o will_v confess_v it_o and_o affirm_v it_o before_o the_o saint_n of_o god_n they_o will_v also_o bless_v god_n for_o i_o unworthy_a wretch_n that_o i_o be_o aâ—d_v count_v i_o god_n instrument_n that_o show_v to_o they_o the_o way_n of_o salvation_n 227._o wherefore_o see_v they_o in_o both_o their_o word_n and_o deed_n to_o be_v so_o constant_a &_o also_o in_o their_o heart_n so_o earnest_o press_v after_o the_o knowledge_n of_o jesus_n christ_n rejoice_v that_o ever_o god_n do_v send_v i_o where_o they_o be_v then_o i_o begin_v to_o conclude_v it_o may_v be_v so_o that_o god_n have_v own_v in_o his_o work_n such_o a_o foolish_a one_o as_o i_o and_o then_o come_v that_o word_n of_o god_n to_o my_o heart_n with_o much_o sweet_a refreshment_n the_o blessing_n of_o they_o that_o be_v ready_a to_o perish_v be_v come_v upon_o i_o yea_o i_o cause_v the_o widow_n heart_n to_o sing_v for_o joy_n job_n 29.13_o 228._o at_o this_o therefore_o i_o rejoice_v yea_o the_o tear_n of_o those_o who_o god_n do_v awaken_v by_o my_o preach_n will_v be_v both_o solace_n and_o encouragement_n to_o i_o for_o i_o think_v on_o those_o say_n who_o be_v he_o that_o make_v i_o glad_a but_o the_o same_o that_o be_v make_v sorry_a by_o i_o 2_o cor._n 2.2_o and_o again_o though_o i_o be_v not_o a_o apostle_n to_o other_o yet_o doubtless_o i_o be_o unto_o you_o for_o the_o seal_n of_o my_o apostleship_n be_v you_o in_o the_o lord_n 1_o cor._n 9.2_o these_o thing_n therefore_o be_v as_o another_o argument_n unto_o i_o that_o god_n have_v call_v i_o to_o and_o stand_v by_o i_o in_o this_o work_n 229._o in_o my_o preach_n of_o the_o word_n i_o take_v special_a notice_n of_o this_o one_o thing_n namely_o that_o the_o lord_n do_v lead_v i_o to_o begin_v where_o his_o word_n begin_v with_o sinner_n that_o be_v to_o condemn_v all_o flesh_n and_o to_o open_v and_o allege_v that_o the_o curse_n of_o god_n by_o the_o law_n do_v belong_v to_o and_o lay_v hold_v on_o all_o man_n as_o they_o come_v into_o the_o world_n because_o of_o sin_n now_o this_o part_n of_o my_o work_n i_o fulfil_v with_o great_a sense_n for_o the_o terror_n of_o the_o law_n and_o guilt_n for_o my_o transgression_n lay_v heavy_a on_o my_o conscience_n i_o preach_v what_o i_o feel_v what_o i_o smart_o do_v feel_v even_o that_o under_o which_o my_o poor_a soul_n do_v groan_n and_o tremble_v to_o astonishment_n 230._o indeed_o i_o have_v be_v as_o one_o send_v to_o they_o from_o the_o dead_a i_o go_v myself_o in_o chain_n to_o preach_v to_o they_o in_o chain_n and_o carry_v that_o fire_n in_o my_o own_o conscience_n that_o i_o persuade_v they_o to_o beware_v of_o i_o can_v true_o say_v and_o that_o without_o dissemble_v that_o when_o i_o have_v be_v to_o preach_v i_o have_v go_v full_a of_o guilt_n and_o terror_n even_o to_o the_o pulpit-door_n and_o there_o it_o have_v be_v take_v off_o and_o i_o have_v be_v at_o liberty_n in_o my_o mind_n until_o i_o have_v do_v my_o work_n and_o then_o immediate_o even_o before_o i_o can_v get_v down_o the_o pulpit-stair_n have_v be_v as_o bad_a as_o i_o be_v before_o yet_o god_n carry_v i_o on_o but_o sure_o with_o a_o strong_a hand_n for_o neither_o guilt_n nor_o hell_n can_v take_v i_o off_o my_o work_n 231._o thus_o i_o go_v for_o the_o space_n of_o two_o year_n cry_v out_o against_o man_n sin_n and_o their_o fearful_a state_n because_o of_o they_o after_o which_o the_o lord_n come_v in_o upon_o my_o own_o soul_n with_o some_o stay_a peace_n and_o comfort_n through_o christ_n for_o he_o do_v give_v i_o many_o sweet_a discovery_n of_o his_o bless_a grace_n through_o he_o wherefore_o now_o i_o alter_v in_o my_o preach_n for_o still_o i_o preach_v what_o i_o see_v &_o feel_v now_o therefore_o i_o do_v much_o labour_n to_o hold_v forth_o jesus_n christ_n in_o all_o his_o office_n relation_n and_o benefit_n unto_o the_o world_n and_o do_v strive_v also_o to_o discover_v to_o condemn_v and_o remove_v those_o false_a support_n and_o prop_n on_o which_o the_o world_n do_v both_o lean_a and_o by_o they_o fall_v and_o perish_v on_o these_o thing_n also_o i_o stay_v as_o long_o as_o on_o the_o other_o 232._o after_o this_o god_n lead_v i_o into_o something_o of_o the_o mystery_n of_o union_n with_o christ_n wherefore_o that_o i_o discover_v and_o show_v to_o they_o also_o and_o when_o i_o have_v travel_v through_o these_o three_o chief_a point_n of_o the_o word_n of_o god_n about_o the_o space_n of_o five_o year_n or_o more_o i_o be_v catch_v in_o my_o present_a practice_n and_o câ—st_n into_o prison_n where_o i_o have_v lie_v as_o long_o to_o confirm_v tâ—e_v truth_n by_o way_n of_o suffer_v as_o i_o be_v before_o in_o testify_v of_o it_o according_a to_o the_o scripture_n in_o a_o way_n of_o preach_v 233._o when_o i_o have_v be_v in_o preach_v i_o thank_v god_n my_o heart_n have_v often_o all_o the_o time_n of_o this_o anâ—_n the_o other_o exercise_n with_o great_a earnestness_n cry_v to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v make_v the_o word_n effectual_a to_o the_o salvation_n of_o the_o soul_n still_o be_v grieve_v lest_o the_o enemy_n will_v take_v the_o word_n away_o from_o the_o conscience_n and_o so_o it_o shall_v become_v unfruitful_a wherefore_o i_o shall_v labour_v so_o to_o speak_v the_o word_n as_o that_o thereby_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a the_o sin_n and_o perâ—on_n guilty_a may_v be_v particularise_v by_o it_o 234._o also_o when_o i_o have_v do_v the_o exercise_n it_o have_v go_v to_o my_o heart_n to_o think_v the_o word_n shall_v now_o fall_v as_o rain_v on_o stony_a place_n still_o wish_v from_o my_o heart_n o_o thaâ—_n they_o who_o have_v hear_v i_o speak_v this_o day_n do_v but_o see_v as_o i_o do_v what_o sin_n death_n hell_n and_o the_o curse_n of_o god_n be_v and_o also_o what_o the_o grace_n and_o love_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v through_o christ_n to_o man_n in_o such_o a_o case_n as_o they_o be_v who_o be_v yet_o estrange_v from_o he_o and_o indeed_o i_o do_v often_o say_v in_o my_o heart_n before_o the_o lord_n that_o if_o to_o be_v hang_v up_o present_o before_o their_o eye_n will_v be_v a_o mean_n to_o awaken_v they_o and_o confirm_v they_o in_o the_o truth_n i_o glad_o shall_v be_v content_v 235._o for_o i_o have_v be_v in_o my_o preach_n especial_o when_o i_o have_v be_v engage_v in_o the_o doctrine_n of_o life_n by_o christ_n without_o work_n as_o if_o a_o angel_n of_o god_n have_v stand_v by_o at_o my_o back_n to_o encourage_v i_o o_o it_o have_v be_v with_o such_o poweâ—_n and_o heavenly_a evidence_n upon_o my_o own_o soul_n while_o i_o have_v be_v labour_v to_o unfold_v it_o to_o demonstrate_v it_o and_o to_o fasten_v it_o upon_o the_o conscience_n of_o other_o that_o i_o can_v not_o â—e_v content_v with_o say_v i_o believe_v and_o be_o sure_a methinks_v i_o be_v more_o than_o sure_a if_o it_o be_v lawful_a so_o to_o express_v myself_o that_o those_o thing_n which_o then_o i_o assert_v be_v true_a 236._o when_o i_o go_v first_o to_o preach_v the_o word_n abroad_o the_o doctor_n and_o priest_n of_o the_o country_n do_v open_a wide_a against_o i_o but_o i_o be_v persuade_v of_o this_o not_o to_o render_v rail_v for_o rail_v but_o to_o see_v how_o many_o of_o their_o carnal_a professor_n i_o can_v convince_v of_o their_o miserable_a state_n by_o the_o law_n and_o of_o the_o want_n and_o worth_a of_o christ_n for_o thought_n i_o this_o shall_v answer_v for_o i_o in_o time_n to_o come_v when_o they_o shall_v be_v for_o my_o hire_n before_o their_o face_n gen._n 30.33_o 237._o i_o never_o care_v to_o meddle_v with_o thing_n that_o be_v controvert_v and_o in_o dispute_n among_o the_o saint_n especial_o thing_n of_o the_o low_a nature_n yet_o it_o please_v i_o much_o to_o contend_v with_o great_a earnestness_n for_o the_o word_n of_o faith_n and_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n by_o the_o death_n and_o suffering_n of_o jesus_n but_o i_o say_v as_o to_o other_o thing_n