maid Exit Enter Taber and Sir Boniface with a Trencher with broken meate and a Napkin Taber Fye fye what a time of trouble is this to morrow to morrow is my mistresse to be married and wee seruingmen are so pusled Sir Boniface The dinner 's halfe done and before I say Grace and bid the old Knight and his guest proface A medicine from your trencher good M. Taber As good a man as ere was sir Saber Well thinke it no shame men of learning and wit say study gets a stomacke friend Taber a bit Taber Lick cleane good sir Boniface and saue the scraper a labour Enter Sencer like a Servingman Sir Boniface But soft let mee ponder Know you him that comes yonder Taber Most heartily welcome would you speake with any heere Senc. Pray is the yong gentleman of the house at leisure Taber Meane you the Bridegroome M. Chartly Sencer. I haue a Letter for him You seeme to be a gentleman your selfe acquaint him with my attendance and I shall rest yours in all good offices Taber Sir Boniface pray keepe the gentleman company I will first acquaint your lippes with the vertue of the Seller Sir Boniface Adesdem come neere and tast of your beere Welcome sine dole for puntis te vole Exit Sencer. When I tast of your liqour Gramercy master Vicar Enter Taber with a bowle of Beere and a Napkine Taber Most heartily welcome your curtesie I beseech you ply it off I intreate you pray sir Boniface keepe the Gentleman company till I acquaint my yong master with his businesse Exit Sir Bonif. Taber I shall besolas manus They dissemble one to another Sencer. A vostre seruitor Enter Haringsfield Harring. Hee what art thou Sencer. A hanger on if it please you Harring. And I a shaker off I le not beare your gallowes You shall not hang on mee Enter Chartly with his Napkin as from Dinner O. Mr Bridegroome Chartly Gentlemen the Ladies call vpon you to dance they will be out of measure displeased if dinner beeing done you bee not ready to leade them a measure Harring. Indeede women love not to bee scanted of their measure Chartly Fie sir Boniface haue you forgot your selfe Whilst you are in the Hall there 's never a whetstone for their wits in the Parler Sir Boniface I will enter and set an edge vpon their Ingenies Chartly To mee sir from whom a letter to her most deere most louing most kind friend Mr. Chartly these bee deliuered sure from some wench or other I long to know the contents Sencer. Now to cry quittance with you for my farewell learn'd sir Timothy Chartly Good newes as I liue there 's for thy paines my good sir Pandarus Hadst thou brought mee word my father had turnd vp his heeles Thou couldst scarcely haue pleased mee better Hee reades though I disclaime the name of wife of which I account my selfe altogether vnworthy yet let mee claime some small interest in your loue this night I lye at the house where wee were married the Wisewomans I meane where my maiden-head is to bee rifled bid fayre for it and inioy it see mee this night or never so may you marrying Gratiana and louing mee haue a sweete wife and a true friend This night or never your quondam wife Hereafter your poore sweet-heart no other Luce So when I am tyr'd with Gratiana that is when I am past grace With her I can make my rendevowz I le not slip this occasion nor sleepe till I see her thou art an honest ladde and maist prooue a good Pimpe in time Canst thou advise mee what colour I may haue to compasse this commodity Sencer. Sir shee this night expects you and prepares a costly banquet for you Chartly I le goe although the Devill and mischance looke bigge Sencer. Feyne some newes that such a peece of Land is falne to you and you must instantly ride to take possession of it or which is more probable cannot you perswade them you haue receiu'd a letter that your Father lyes a dying Chartly You rogue I would hee did but the name of that newes is cal'd too good to be true Sencer And that if ever you will see him aliue you must ride post into the Country Chartly Enough if ever I prooue Knight errant thou shalt bee mine owne proper squire for this thou hast fitted mee with a plot doe but waite heere note how I will manage it Tabor my horse for I must ride to night Taber To night sir Chartly So tell my Bride and Father I haue newes that quite confounds my sences Enter Sir Harry Gratiana and Harringsfield Gratiana How ride to night the marriage day to morrow And all things well provided for the feast O tell mee sweete why doe you looke so pale Chartly My Father O my Father Grace What of him Sir Harry What of your father Sonne Chartly If ever I will heere his aged tongue Preach to mee counsell or his palsy hand Stroake my wild head and blesse mee or his eyes Drop teare by teare which they haue often done At my misgovern'd rioting youth What should I more if ever I would see The good old man aliue Oh Oh Sencer. Goe thy wayes for thou shalt ha 't Grace But doe you meane to ride Chartly Ey Grace all this night Sencer. Not all the night without alighting sure You 'l finde more in 't then to get vp and ride Harring. The Gentlemans riding bootes and spurres Why Taber Chartly Nay Grace now 's no time To stand on scrupulous parting Knewest thou my businesse Sencer. As shee shall knowe it Chartly And how I meane this night to toyle my selfe Sencer. Marry hang you brock Chartly Thou would be moane my travell Sencer. I know t' would grieue her Chartly You father Grace good Mr Harringsfield You sir and all pray for mee Gentlemen that in this darke nights journey I may finde smooth way sweete speed and all things to my minde Sir Harry Wee 'l see my sonne take horse Exeunt Gratiana But I will stay I want the heart to see him post away Sencer. Saue you gentlewoman I haue a message to deliver to one Mistress Gratiana this should bee the Knights house her father Gratiana It is The message that you haue to her You may acquaint mee with for I am one That knowes the inside of her thoughts Sencer. Are you the Lady Gratiana Sir I am the poore gentlewoman Sencer. There is a conning woman dwells not farre At Hogsden Lady famous for her skill Besides some private talke that much concernes your fortunes in your love Shee hath to shewe you this night if it shall please you walke so farre as to her house an admirable suite Of costly needle worke which if you please You may by vnder-rate for halfe the valew It cost the making about sixe a clocke You may haue view thereof but otherwise A Lady that hath crau'd the sight thereof Must haue the first refusall Gratiana I le not fayle her My husband beeing
M. Boyster Boyst. Somewhat Chart. You will not acquaint me with your businesse Boyst. No I am in love my head is full of Proclamations There is a thing call'd a Virgin Nature hath shewed her Art in making her Court her I cannot but I le doe as I may Chart. Doe you goe or stay sir Senc. Goe Exit Sencer. Chart. You before I le follow He thinkes with his blunt humour to enter as farre as I with my sharpe No my true Trojan no There is a faire sweet modest rogue her name is Luce with this Dandiprat this pretty little Apes face is yon blunt fellow in love and no marvell for shee hath a Browe bewitching Eyes ravishing and a Tongue enchanting And indeed shee hath no fault in the world but one and that is shee is honest and were it not for that shee were the onely sweet Rogue in Christendome As I live I love her extreamely and to enjoy her would give any thing But the foole stands in her owne light and will doe nothing without Marriage but what should I doe marrying I can better indure Gives than Bands of Matrimonie But in this Meditation I am glad I have wonne my Money againe Nay and shee may be glad of it too for the Girle is but poore and in my pockett I have layd up a Stocke for her 't is put to use alreadie And if I meete not with a Dyce-house or an Ordinary by the way no question but I may increase it to a summe Well I le unto the Exchange to buy her some prettie Noveltie That done I le visite my little Rascall and sollicite instantly Exeunt Actus primus Scena secunda Enter Luce in a Semsters shop at worke vpon a lac'd Handkercher and Joseph a Prentice Luce. Where is my Father Ioseph Ioseph Mistresse above And prayes you to attend below a little Luce. I doe not love to sit thus publikely And yet upon the traffique of our Wares Our provident Eyes and presence must still wayte Doe you attend the shop I le ply my worke I see my father is not jelous of me That trusts mee to the open view of all The reason is hee knowes my thoughts are chast And my care such as that it needes the awe Of no strict Overseer Enter M. Boyster Boyst. Yonder 's Luce Save thee Luce. And you too sir y' are welcom want you ought I pray in which our Trade may furnish you Boyst. Yes Luce. Ioseph shew the Gentleman Boyst. T is heere that I would buy Luce. What doe you meane sir speak what i st you lack I pray you wherefore doe you fixe your eyes So firmely in my face what would you have Boyst. Thee Luce. Mee Boyst. Yes thee Luce. Your pleasure is to jest and so I take it Pray give me leave sir to intend my worke Boyst. You are fayre Luce. You flout mee Boyst. You are goe too you are I de vexe him that should say the contrary Luce. Well you may say your pleasure Boyst. I love thee Luce. Oh Sir Boyst. As I live I doe Luce. Now as I am a true Maid The most religious oath that I dare sweare I hold my selfe indebted to your love And I am sorry there remaines in mee No power how to requite it Boyst. Love mee prethee now doe if thou canst Luce. I cannot Boyst. Prethee if thou canst Luce. Indeed I cannot Boyst. Yet aske thine heart and see what may be done Luce. In troth I am sorry you should spend a sigh For my sake unrequited or a teare Ey or a word Boyst. 'T is no matter for my words they are not many And those not very wise one's neither Luce. Yet I beseech you spend no more in vaine I scorne you not Disdaines as farre from mee As are the two Poles distant therefore Sir Because I would not hold you in suspence But tell you what at first to trust unto Thus in a word I must not fancie you Boyst. Must-not Luce. I cannot nor I may not Boyst. I am gone Thou hast given me Luce a Bone to gnaw upon Exit Luce Alas that Beauty should be sought of more Then can injoy it might I have my wish I would seeme faire but onely in his eye That should possesse mee in a Nuptiall tye Enter yong Master Chattley with Gloues Ring Purse etc. Chartl. Morrow Luce In exchange of this kisse see what I have brought thee from the Exchange Luce. What meane you Sir by this Chart. Guesse that by the circumstance here 's a Ring weare 't for my sake twenty Angels pocket them you foole come come I know thou art a Maid say nay and take them Luce. Sweet Master Chartley doe not fasten on me More then with ease I can shake off your Gift I reverence yet refuse and I pray tell mee Why doe you make so many Errands hither Send me so many Letters fasten on me So many favours what 's your meaning in 't Char. Harke in thine eare I le tell thee nay heare me out is 't possible so soft a body should have so hard a soule Nay now I know my penance you will be angry and schoole me for tempting your modesty a figge for this modesty it hinders many a good man from many a good turne that 's all the good it doth If thou but knewst Luce how I love thee thou wouldst be farre more tractable Nay I barre chiding when you speake I le stop thy lips if thou dost but offer an angry word by this hand I le do 't and with this hand too Goe to now what say you Luce. Sir if you love me as you say you doe Shew me the fruits thereof Chart. The stocke I can thou maist see the fruits hereafter Luce. Can I beleeve you love mee when you seeke The ship wrack of mine Honour Chart. Honour there 's another word to flap in a mans mouth Honour what shouldst thou and I stand upon our Honour that were neither of us yet Right Worshipfull Luce. I am sorry Sir I have lent so large an eare To such a bad discourse and I protest After this houre never to doe the like I must confesse of all the Gentlemen That ever courted mee you have possest The best part in my thoughts but this course language Exiles you quite from thence Sir had you come In stead of changing this mine honest name Into a Strumpets to have honoured me With the chaste Title of a Modest Wife I had reserv'd an eare for all your suits But since I see your rudenesse finds no limit I leave you to your lust Chart. You shall not Luce Luce. Then keepe your tongue within more moderate bounds Chart. I will as I am vertuous I will I told you the second word would be Marriage It makes a man forfeit his Freedome and makes him walke ever after with a Chaine at his heeles or a Iack-an-Apes hanging at his elbow Marriage is like Dedalus his labyrinth and being once in there 's no finding the way
professe that Art should be deepe Schollers What reading can this simple Woman have T is palpable grosse foolery Kitchin Now friend your businesse Taber I have stolne out of my Masters house forsooth with the Kitchin-Mayd and I am come to know of you whether it be my fortune to have her or no Wisewo And what 's your suit Lady Kitchin Forsooth I come to know whether I be a Maid or no Wisewo. Why art thou in doubt of that Kitchin It may bee I have more reason then all the world knowes Taber Nay if thou com'st to know whether thou beest a Maid or no I had best aske to know whether I be with child or no Wisew. Withdraw into the Parlour there I le but talke with this other Gentlewoman and He resolve you presently Taber Come Sisty if shee cannot resolve thee I can and in the Case of a Mayden-head doe more then shee I warrant thee Exeunt The Wom. Forsooth I am bold as they say Wisew. You are welcome Gentlewoman Wom. I would not have it knowne to my Neighbours that I come to a Wise-woman for any thing by my truly Wisewom. For should your Husband come and find you here Wom. My Husband woman I am a Widdow Wisewom. Where are my braines 't is true you are a Widdow and you dwell let me see I can never remember that place Wom. In Kentstreet Wisewom. Kentstreet Kentstreet and I can tell you wherfore you come Wom. Why and say true Wisewom. You are a Wagge you are a Wagge why what doe you thinke now I would say Wom. Perhaps to know how many Husbands I should have Wisewom. And if I should say so should I say amisse Wom. I thinke you are a Witch Wisewom. In in I le but reade a little of Ptolomie and Erra Pater and when I have cast a Figure I le come to you presently Exit Wom. Now Wagge what wouldst thou have 2. Luce. If this were a Wisewoman shee could tell that without asking Now me thinkes I should come to know whether I were a Boy or a Girle forsooth I lacke a service Wisewo. By my Fidelitie and I want a good trusty Lad 2. Luce. Now could I sigh and say Alas this is some Bawd trade-falne and out of her wicked experience is come to bee reputed wise I le serve her bee 't but to pry into the mysterie of her Science Wisewo. A proper stripling and a wise I warrant him here 's a penie for thee I le hire thee for a yeare by the Statute of Winchester prove true and honest and thou shalt want nothing that a good Boy 2. Luce. Here Wise-woman you are out againe I shall want what a good Boy should have whilst I live well here I shall live both unknowne and my Sex unsuspected But whom have wee here Enter Master Haringfield and Chartley halfe drunke Chart. Come Haringfield now wee have beene drinking of Mother Red-caps Ale let us now goe make some sport with the Wise-woman Haring. Wee shall be thought very wise men of all such as shall see us goe in to the Wise-womans Chartley. See heere shee is how now Witch How now Hagge How now Beldame You are the Wisewoman are you and have wit to keepe your selte warme enough I warrant you Wisewo. Out thou knave 2. Luce. And will these wild oates never be sowne Chart. You Inchantresse Sorceresse Shee-devill you Madam Hecate Lady Proserpine you are too old you Hagge now for coniuring up Spirits your selfe but you keepe prettie yong Witches under your roofe that can doe that Wisewo. I or my Family conjure up any Spirits I defie thee thou yong Hare-brain'd Haring. Forbeare him till he have his Senses about him and I shall then hold thee for a Wise-woman indeed otherwise I shall doubt thou hast thy name for nothing Come friend away if thou lovest me Chart. Away you old Dromadary I le come one of these nights and make a racket amongst your SheeCatterwaullers Haring. I prethee let 's be civill Chart. Out of my sight thou Shee-mastiffe Exeunt 2. Luce. Patience sweet Mistris Wisewo. Now blesse mee hee hath put mee into such a feare as makes all my bones to dance and rattle in my skin I le be reveng'd on that swaggering companion 2. Luce. Mistris I wish you would hee 's a meere Mad-cap and all his delight is in mis-using such reverent Matrons as your selfe Wisewo. Well what 's thy name Boy 2. Luce. I am even little better than a Turn-broach for my name is Iacke Wisewo. Honest Iacke if thou couldst but devise how I might cry quittance with this cutting Dicke I will goe neare to adopt thee my Sonne and heire 2. Luce. Mistris there is a way and this it is To morrow morning doth this Gentleman Intend to marry with one Mistris Luce A Gold-smiths Daughter doe you know the Maid Wisewo. My Daughter and a prettie smug fac't Girle I had a note but late from her and shee meanes To be with me in th' evening for I haue bespoke Sir Boniface to marry her in the morning 2. Luce. Doe but prevent this Gallant of his Wife And then your wrongs shall be reveng'd at full Wisewo. I le doe 't as I am Matron Ey and shew him a new tricke for his learning Enter Master Boyster Boyst. Morrow Wisewo. Y' are welcome Sir Boyst. Art wise 2. Luce. Hee should be wise because hee speakes few words Wisewo. I am as I am and there 's an end Boyst. Canst conjure Wisewo. Oh that 's a foule word but I can tell you your Fortune as they say I have some little skill in Palmistry but never had to doe with the devill Boyst. And had the devill never any thing to doe with thee thou look'st somewhat like his damme Looke on mee canst tell what I ayle Wisewo. Can you tell your selfe I should guesse you be mad or not well in your wits Boyst. Th' art wise I am so men being in love are mad And I being in love am so Wisewo. Nay if I see your complexion once I thinke I can guesse as neare as another Boyst. One Mistris Luce I love knowst thou her Grannam Wisewo. As well as the Beggar knowes his Dish Why shee is one of my Daughters Boyst. Make her my wife I le give thee forty pieces 2. Luce. Take them Mistris to be reveng'd on Chartley Wisew. A bargain strike me luck cease all your sorrow Faire Luce shall be your Bride betimes to morrow Boyst. Th' art a good Grannam and but that thy teeth stand like hedge-stakes in thy head I 'de kisse thee Exit Wisewo. Pray will you in come hither lacke I have A new tricke come into my head wilt thou Assist mee in 't 2. Luce. If it concerne the crossing of the marriage with Mistris Luce I le do 't what e're it be Wisewo. Thou shalt be tyred like a woman can you make a curtesie take small strides simper and seeme modest me thinkes thou hast a womans voyce already 2. Luce. Doubt not
of yeares Chart. Will you but heare mee Father Not in this case I that have liv'd thus long Reported well esteem'd a welcome Guest At every burthen'd Table there respected Now to be held a Pander to my Daughter That I should live to this Chart. But harke you Father Father A Bawd to mine owne child Chart. Father Father To my sweet Luce Chart. Father Father Deale with me like a Son then call me Father I that have had the tongues of every man Ready to crowne my Reputation The hands of all my Neighbours to subscribe To my good like and such as could not write Ready with Palsie and unlettered fingers To set their scribbling markes Chart. Why Father in Law Father Thou hadst a Mother Luce 't is woe with me To say thou hadst but hast not a kind Wife And a good Nurse she was she had she liv'd To heare my name thus canvast and thus toss'd Seven yeares before she dy'd I had beene a Widower Seven yeares before I was Heaven rest her soule Shee is in Heaven I hope Hee wipes his eyes Chart. Why so now these be good words I knew these stormes would have a showre and then they would cease Now if your anger be over heare me Father Well say on Son Chart. Stay but a Moneth 't is but foure Weekes nay 't is February the shortest Moneth of the yeare and in that time I shall be at full age and the Land being intail'd my Father can dis-inherit mee of nothing Is your spleene downe now Have I satisfied you Well I see you chollericke hasty men are the kindest when all is done Here 's such wetting of Hand-kerchers hee weepes to thinke of his Wife shee weepes to see her Father cry Peace foole wee shall else have thee claime kindred of the Woman kill'd with kindnesse Father Well Son my anger 's past yet I must tell you It grieves mee that you should thus slight it off Concerning us no such a deere degree In private be it spoke my Daughter tels me Shee 's both a Wife and Maid Chart That may be help't Now Luce your Fathers pacifi'd will you be pleas'd I would indure a Quarters punishment for thee and wilt not thou suffer a poore Moneths penance for mee 'T is but eight and twenty dayes Wench thou shalt fare well all the time drinke well eate well lie well come one word of comfort at the later end of the day Luce. Yours is my fame mine honour and my heart Link't to your pleasure and shall never part Chart. Gramercie Wench thou shalt weare this chaine no longer for that word I le multiply the linkes in such order that it shall have light to shine about thy necke oftener then it doth this jewell a plaine Bristowe stone a counterfeit How base was I that comming to thee in the way of Marriage courted thee with counterfeit stones Thou shalt weare right or none thou hast no money about thee Luce Luce. Yes Sir I have the hundred pounds that you gave me to lay up last Chart. Fetch it let mee see how much branch'd Sattin goes to a Petticoat and how much wrought Velvet to a Gowne then for a Bever for the Citie and a Blackbagge for the Country I le promise her nothing but if any such trifles bee brought home let her not thanke mee for them Enter Luce with the Bagge Gramercie Luce Nay goe in Gravitie and Modestie ten to one but you shall heare of mee e're you see mee againe Father I know you kinde impute my hastie Language unto my rage not mee Chart. Why doe not I know you and doe not I know her I doubt you 'l wish shortly that I had never knowne either of you now what sayst thou my sweet Luce Luce. My words are yours so is my life I am now part of your selfe so made by Nuptiall vowes Chart. What a Pagan am I to practise such villany against this honest Christian If Gratiana did come into my thoughts I should fall into a vaine 'to pittie her but now that I talk of her I have a tongue to wooe her Tokens to win her and that done if I doe not find a tricke both to weare her and wearie her it may prove a piece of a Wonder Thou seest Luce I have some store of Crownes about me there are brave things to be bought in the Citie Cheapside and the Exchange afford varietie and raritie This is all I will say now but thou mayest heare more of mee hereafter Exit Luce. Heaven speed you where you goe Sir shall we in Though not from scandall wee live free from Sin Father I le in before Exit Enter Master Boyster Boyst. I am still in love with Luce and I would know An answer more directly fie fie this Love Hangs on me like an Ague makes me turne foole Coxcombe and Asse why should I love her why A Rattle-Baby Puppit a slight toy And now I could goe to buffets with my selfe And cuffe this Love away but see that 's Luce Luce. I cannot shun him but I le shake him off Boyst. Morrow Luce. As much to you Boyst. I 'le use few words Canst love me Luce. Deed Sir no Boyst. Why the farewell the way I came I le goe Exit Luce. This is no tedious Courtship hee 's soone answer'd So should all Sutors else bee were they wise For being repulst they doe but waste their dayes In thanklesse suites and superficiall praise Enter Boyster againe Boyst. Sweare that thou wilt not love me Luce. Not Sir for any hate I ever bare you Or any foolish pride or vaine conceite Or that your feature doth not please mine eye Or that you are not a brave Gentleman But for concealed reasons I am forc'd To give you this cold answer and to sweare I must not then with patience pray forbeare Boyst. Even farewell then Exit Luce. The like to you and save your hopes in me Heaven grant you your best wishes all this strife Will end it selfe when I am knowne a Wife Exeunt Explicit Actus tertius Actus 4us Scena prima Enter Sir Harry M. Harringsfield Gratiana with others Sir Harry I am satisfied good M. Harringsfield touching your friend and since I see you haue left his dangerous company I limit you to bee a welcome guest vnto my Table Harring. You haue bin alwayes noble Enter Taber Sir Harry Taber the newes with thee Taber May it please the right worshipfull to vnderstand that there are some at the Gate who dance a turne or two without and desire to bee admitted to speake with you within Sir Harry The Scholler is it not Taber Nay sir there are two Schollers and they are spowting Latin one against the other And in my simple Iudgement the stranger is the better Scholler and is somewhat too hard for sir Boniface For he speakes lowder and that you know is ever the signe of the most learning and hee also hath a great desire to serue your Worship Sir Harry Two schollers
this day rid from home My leasure fitly serues mee thanke you Mistresse Sencer. At sixe à clocke Gratiana I will not fayle the houre Exit Sencer. Now to sir Harry his is the next place To meete at Hogsden his fayre daughter Grace Exit Actus 5us Scena prima Enter old M. Chartly as new come out of the Country To inquire after his Sonne and three or foure serving men with blew Coates to attend him â—Old Chart. Good heauen This London is a stranger growne and out of my acquaintance this seauen yeares I haue not seene Pauls steeple or Cheape crosse Gyles Sir Old Chart. Hast thou not made inquiry for my Sonne Gyles Yes sir I haue askt about euery where for him But cannot heare of him Old Chart. Disperse your selues inquire about the Tavernes Ordinaryes Bowle-allyes Tenis courts Gaming-houses For there I feare hee will be found Gyles But where shall wee heare of your worship againe Old Chart. At Grace Church by the Conduit neere Sir Harry but stay leaue off a while your bootlesse search had e're man such a wild braine to his sorrow of such small hope who when hee should haue married a fayre a modest and a vertuous maide rich and revenewed well and even the night before the marriage day tooke horse road thence whether Heaven knowes since the distracted virgin hath left her Fathers house but neather feumd yet in their search wee haue measured out much Ground Enter Sir Harry and Sencer Sencer. Your worship will bee there Sir Harry Yes not to fayle At halfe an houre past sixe or before seaven Sencer. You shall not finde us at sixe and at seaven I le Warrant you good health to your worship Exit Sir Harry Farewell good fellow At the Wisewomans house I know it well Perhaps she knowes some danger touching mee I 'le keepe mine houre Old Chart. Sir Harry a hand a hand to balk you it were siun I shall be bold to make your house mine Inne Sir Harry Brother Chartly I am glad to see you Old Chart. Mee thinkes sir Harry you looke strangely on mee And doe not bid me welcome with an heart Sir Harry And blame mee not to looke amazedly To see you heare Old Chart. Why mee Sir Harry Come come y' are welcome And now I le turne my strangenesse to true joy I am glad to see you well and safe recovered Of your late grievous sicknesse Old Chart. The strange amazed lookes that you cast off You put on mee and blame mee not to wonder That you should talke of sicknesse to sound men I thanke my starres I did not tast the griefe Of inward paine or outward malady This seaven yeeres day Sir Harry But by your favour brother Then let mee haue my wonder backe againe Old Chart. Before I quite part with it let mee knowe Why you the name of brother put vpon mee In every clause a name as strange to mee As my recovered sicknesse Sir Harry You are plesant And it becomes you well welcome againe The rather you are come just to the wedding Old Chart. What wedding sir Sir Harry That you should aske that question Why of my daughter Grace Old Chart. Is Grace bestow'd Of whom I pray Sir Harry Of whom but of your sonne I wonder brother Chartly and my friend You should thus play on mee Old Chart. But by your favour Were you tenne Knights Sir Harry take mee with you My sonne match with your daughter my consent Not worthy to bee crau'd Sir Harry Nay then I see You 'l stirre my patience know this forward match tooke its first birth from you Old Chart. From mee Sir Harry From you Peruse this letter know you your owne hand T' was well that I reseru'd your hand a witnesse Against your tongue you had best denie the Ioynter Of the three hundred pounds made to my daughter T is that I know you ayme at but your seale Old Chart. Shall not make mee approue it I denye This Seale for mine nor doe I vouch that hand Your daughter and the dower letter and all I quite disclaime sir Harry you much wrong mee Sir Harry I can beare more then this heape wrong on wrong and I le support it all I for this time Will cast my spleene behind mee and yet heare mee This letter your sonne Chartly as from you Delivered mee I like the motion well Old Chart. My spleen is further throwne aside then yours And I am full as patient and yet heare mee My sonne 's contracted to another maid Nay I am patient still yet that I writ This letter seald this impresse I denye Sir Harry Why then the jack your hand did counterfeit Old Chart. Why then hee did so where 's that vnthrift speake Sir Harry Some houre agoe hee mounted and rid post To giue you visit whom hee said lay sicke Vpon your death-bed Old Chart. You amaze mee sir It is an ill presage hereon I see Your former salutation tooke its ground To see mee safe recovered of my sicknesse Sir Harry Indeed it did your welcome is a subject I cannot vse too oft welcome againe I am sorry you this night must sup alone For I am else-where cald about some businesse Concerning what I know not howers run on I must to Hogsden high time I were gon Exit Old Chart. Perhaps to the Wisewomans shee may tell mee The fortunes of my sonne this accident Hath bred in mee suspition and strange feares I will not sup alone but I protest 'mongst some this night I 'le play the intruding guest Exit with his serving-men Enter the Wisewoman Sencer Luce and her Father 2. Luce Wisew. But will sir Harry come Sencer. Presume hee will and Chartly too Father I le haue the knaue by the eares Luce. Nay patience sir leaue your revenge to mee Enter M. Boyster Boyster Granam I am come according to promise Wisew. And welcome to the best hole that I haue in Hogsden Boyster Good even Luce. Thanks sir a good even may it proue That each may reape the fruits of their owne Love 2. Luce. That shall bee my prayer too Boyster Come what shall 's doo Wisew. Withdraw I le place you all in severall roomes Where sit see but say nothing Exeunt Enter Taber vshering Gratiana Taber Heere sweete Mistresse I know the place well ever Since I was heere to know my fortune Gratiana Call mee some halfe an houre hence Exit Enter the Wisewoman and 2. Luce Wisew. Your Ladiship is most lovingly welcome A low stoole for the Gentlewoman boy I made bold to send to you to take view of such a peece of worke as I presume you haue seldome seene the like Gratia of whose doing I pray Wisew. A friend of yours and mine Please you withdraw I le bring you too 't 2. Luce. Mistresse Wisew. One calls sweet Lady I shall doe you wrong But pray you thinke my little stay not long Enter Sencer sir Harry and Luce Sencer. Here sir in this retyring Chamber Sir Harry Gramercy
out Well I love this little property most intollerably and I must set her on the Last though it cost me all the shooes in my shop Well Luce thou seest my stomacke is come downe thou hast my heart already there 's my hand Luce. But in what way Chart. Nay I know not the way yet but I hope to find it hereafter by your good direction Luce. I meane in what manner in what way Chart. In the way of marriage in the way of honesty in the way that was never gone yet I hope thou art a Maid Luce Luce. Yes Sir and I accept it in exchange Of this your hand you shall receive my heart Chartley. A bargaine and there 's earnest on thy lips Luce. I le call my Father Sir to witnesse it See here hee comes Enter her Father a plaine Citizen Chart. Father save you you have happened of an untoward Son-in-Law here I am how doe you like mee Father Sir I was nearer then you were aware And over-heard both summe and circumstance Chart. Then I perceive you are an old Eves-dropper But what doe you thinke of it Father Father I entertaine the motion with all love And I rejoyce my Daughter is preferr'd And rais'd to such a match I heard the contract And will confirme it gladly but pray Sir When shall the merry day be Chart. Marry even to morrow by that we can see my wee 'l lose no more time I le take order for that Luce Stay but a moneth Chart A moneth I thou canst not hire me too 't Why Luce if thou beest hungry canst thou stay a moneth from meat Nay if I see my diet before me I love to fall too when I have a stomacke Here buy thee a new Smocke let 's have a new Bed too and looke it be strong there 's a box of Rings and Jewels lay them up Ha sirra me thinkes the very name of Wedlock hath brought me to a Night-cap already and I am growne civill on the sudden There 's more money for Dishes Platters Ladles Candlesticks c. as I shall find them set downe in the Inventorie Father But whom shall wee invite unto the Wedding Enter 2d Luce a yong Countrey Gentlewoman in the habit of a Page and overheares their discourse Chart. Ey thereby hangs a Tale we will have no more at our marriage but my selfe to say I take thee Luce thou to say I Luce take thee Robin the Vicar to put us together and you Father to play the Clerke and cry Amen Father Your reason for that Chartl. I would not for a world it should bee knowne to my Friendes or come to my Fathers care It may bee tenne thousand pounds out of my way for the present therefore this is my conceite Let us bee marryed privately and Luce shall live like a Mayde still and beare the Name T is nothing Luce it is a common thing in this age to goe for a Mayde and bee none I le frequent the house secretly feare not Girle though I revell abroad a dayes I le bee with thee to bring a nights my little Whiting Mopp Luce. But so I may incurre a publike scandall By your so oft frequenting to my Chamber Chart. Scandall what scandall Why to stopp the mouth of all scandall after some few dayes doe I appeare in my likenesse married man and honest hous-keeper and then what becomes of your scandall Come send for Mr. Vicar and what we doe le ts doe suddenly 2. Luce. Cold comfort for me Luce. If you purpose to be so privately married I know one excellent at such an exployt are you not acquainted with the Wise-woman of Hogsdon Chartley O the Witch the Beldame the Hagge of Hogsdon Luce. The same but I hold her to bee of no such condition I will anone make a steppe thither and punctually acquaint her vvith all our proceedings shee is never without a Sir Iohn at her elbow ready for such a stratagem Chart. Well bee 't so then Exeunt 2. Luce. Heigh hoe have I disguis'd my selfe and stolne out of the Countrey thus farre and can light of no better newes to entertaine mee Oh this wild-headed wicked Chartley whome nothing will tame To this Gallant was I poore Gentle-woman betroathed and the Marriage day appoynted But hee out of a fantastick and giddy humour before the time prefixed posts up to London After him come I thus habited and you see my welcome to bee an eare-witnesse of his second Contracting Modestie would not suffer mee to discover my selfe otherwise I should have gone neere to have marred the match I heard them talke of Hogsdon and a Wise-woman where these Aymes shall bee brought to Action I le see if I can insinuate my selfe into her service that 's my next project and now good luck of my side Exit Explicit Actus primus Actus secundus Scena prima Enter the Wise-woman and her Clyents a Countrey-man with an Urinall foure Women like Citizens wives Taber a Serving-man and a Chamber-mayd Wisewoman Fie fie what a toyle and a moyle it is For a woman to bee wiser then all her neighbours I pray good people presse not too fast upon me Though I have two eares I can heare but one at once You with the Vrine Enter 2. Luce and stands aside Countryman Here forsooth Mistresse Wisew. And who distill'd this water Countr. My wives Limbeck if it please you Wisew. And where doth the paine hold her most Countr Marry at her heart forsooth Wisew. Ey at hor heart shee hath a griping at her heart Countr You have hit it right Wisewo. Nay I can see so much in the Vrine 2. Luce. Iust so much as is told her Wisewo. Shee hath no paine in her head hath shee Countrym No indeed I never heard her complaine of her head Wisewo. I told you so her paine lyes all at her heart Alas good heart but how feeles shee her stomacke Countrym. O queasie and sicke at stomacke Wisewo. Ey I warrant you I thinke I can see as farre into a Mill-stone as another you have heard of Mother Notingham who for her time was prettily well skill'd in casting of Waters and after her Mother Bombye and then there is one Hatfield in Pepper-Alley hee doth prettie well for a thing that 's lost There 's another in Coleharbour that 's skill'd in the Planets Mother Sturton in Goulden-lane is for Forespeaking Mother Phillips of the Banke-side for the weaknesse of the backe and then there 's a very reverent Matron on Clarkenwell-Green good at many things Mistris Mary on the Banke side is for recting a Figure and one what doe you call her in Westminster that practiseth the Booke and the Key and the Sive and the Sheares and all doe well according to their talent For my selfe let the world speake harke you my friend you shall take Shee whispers 2. Luce. 'T is strange the Ignorant should be thus fool'd What can this Witch this Wizard or old Trot Doe by Inchantment or by Magicke spell Such as
of me I le act them naturally Wisewo. I have conceited to have Luce married to this blunt Gentleman shee mistaking him for Chartley and Chartley shall marry thee being a Boy and take thee for Luce Wilt not be excellent 2. Luce. Oh super super-excellent Wisewo. Play but thy part as I le act mine I le fit him with a Wife I warrant him 2. Luce. And a Wife I le warrant him Exeunt Enter Old Sir Harry and his man Taber Sir Har. Ha then thou sawest them whispering with my Daughter Tab. I saw them if it shall please you not whisper but Sir Har. How then thou knave Taber Marry Sir Knight I saw them in sad talke but to say they were directly whispering I am not able Sir Har. Why Taber that sad talke was whispering Taber Nay they did not greatly whisper for I heard what was said and what was said I have the wit to keepe to my selfe Sir Har. What said the unthrift Taber tell me knave Tell me good knave what did the unthrift say Taber I am loath to be call'd in question about men and womens matters but as soone as ever he saw your Daughter I heard what was spoke Sir Har. Here sirra take thy Quarters wages afore-hand and tell me all their words and what their greeting was at their first encounter hold thine hand Taber Thankes Noble Sir and now I le tell you Your daughter being walking to take the aire of the fields and I before her whom should wee meet just in the nicke Sir Har. Iust in the nicke man Taber In the high-way I meant Sir Sir Har. Ha and what conference past betwixt them Taber Taber As well as my Pipe can utter you shall know Sir This Gentleman meeting with my yong Mistris full butt imagine you were she and I yong Master Sencer now there you come and here I meet you he comes in this manner and put off his hat in this fashion Sir Har. I but what said hee Taber Be with you faire Gentlewoman and so goes quite away and scarse so much as once look'd backe and if this were language to offer to a yong Ladie judge you Sir Har. But spake hee nothing else Taber Nothing as I am true Sir Har. Why man all this was nothing Taber Yes Sir it was as much as my Quarters wages afore-hand Enter Master Sencer Master Haringfield and Gratiana Grat. Here are two Gentlemen with great desire Crave conference with my Father here he is Now Gallants you may freely speake your minds Senc. Save you Sir my name is Sencer I am a Northampton-shire Gentleman borne to a thousand pound Land by the yeare I love your Daughter and I am come to crave your good-will Sir Har. Have you my Daughters that you covet mine Senc. No Sir but I hope in time I shall have Sir Har. So hope not I Sir Sir my Daughter 's yong and you a Gentleman unknowne Sencer ha Sencer O Sir your name I now remember well 't is rank't 'mongst thrifts dicers swaggerers and drunkards were not you brought before me some moneth since for beating of the Watch by the same token I sent you to the Counter Senc. I confesse my selfe to have beene in that action but note the cause Sir you could not have pleasur'd mee so much in giving mee a piece of gold as at the same time to helpe me to that Counter Sir Har. Why Sir what cause had you to beat the Watch and raise a midnight tumult in the streets Senc. Nay but heare mee sweet Sir Harry Being somewhat late at Supper at the Miter the doores were shut at my Lodging I knock't at three or foure places more all were a-bed and fast Innes Tavernes none would give me entertainment Now would you have had me dispair'd and layne in the streets No I bethought me of a tricke worth two of that and presently devis'd having at that time a charge of money about me to be lodg'd and safely too Sir Har. As how I pray you Senc. Marry thus I had knockt my heeles against the ground a good while knew not where to have a Bed for love nor money Now what did I but spying the Watch went and hit the Constable a good sowse on the Eare who provided me of a lodging presently and the next day being brought before your Worship I was then sent thither backe againe where I lay three or foure dayes without controule Sir Har. O y' are a Gallant is that Gentleman A Suitor too Haring. I am a Suitor in my friends behalfe No otherwise I can assure you Sir He is a Gentleman discended well Deriv'd from a good house well quallify'd And well possest but that which most should move you Hee loves your Daughter Grat But were I to chuse Which of these two should please my fancie best I sooner should affect this Gentleman For his mad carriage and his faire discourse Then my hot Suitor Ruffians I detest A smooth and square behaviour likes mee best Senc. What say you to me Lady Gratian. You had best aske my Father what I should say Senc. Are you angry sweet Lady that I ask't your Fathers consent Grat. No if you can get his consent to marry him shall it displease mee Haring. Indeed you therein much forget your selfe To sound her Father e're you tasted her You should have first sought meanes for her good-will And after compast his Sir Har. He can prevaile with neither Gentlemen If you will come to revell you are welcome If to my Table welcome if to use mee In any gratefull Office welcome too But if you come as Suitors there 's the doore Senc. The doore Sir Har. I say the doore Senc. Why Sir tell not me of your doore nor going out of it your companie is faire and good and so is your Daughters I le stay here this twelve-moneth e're I le offer to trouble your doore Sir Har. Sir but you shall not Taber where 's that knave Senc. Why Sir I hope you doe not meane to make us dance that you call for a Taber Haring. Nay Master Sencer doe not urge the Knight Hee is incenst now chuse a fitter houre And tempt his love in that old men are testie Their rage if stood against growes violent But suffred and forborne confounds it selfe Sir Har. Where 's Taber Taber At hand noble Master Sir Har. Shew them the doore Taber That I will and take money too if it please them Senc. Is thy name Taber Taber I am so eclip't Sir Senc. And Taber are you appointed to give us Iacke Drum's entertainment Taber Why sir you doe not play upon me Sencer Though I cannot yet I have knowne an Hare that could But Knight thou doest not forbid us the House Sir Har. Yes and forewarne it too Sencer. But by thy favour wee may chuse whether we will take any warning or no Well farewell olde Knight though thou forbidst mee thine house I le honour thee and extoll thee and though thou keepst mee
then Grace I had not disappointed the marriage day to morrow Luce. Lasciuious no Chartly Wilt thou haue mee Grace for had I not lou'd thee better then Luce I would never after I had married her bin contracted to thee Grace Inconstant no Chart. Then neither married man widdow nor batcheller what 's to bee done Heere 's even the proverbe verifi'd betweene too stooles the tayle goes to ground Sir Harry Now I bethinke mee this our meeting heere is wondrous strange call in the Gentlewoman that ownes this house Enter Sencer and the Wisewoman Hee like a gentleman Boyster Old trot I le trounce thee Here is the marriage prou'd twixt Luce and Chartly witch this was not your promise Wisew. Haue patience and in the end wee 'l pay you all Your worships are most hartily welcome I made bold to send for you and you may see to what end which was to discover vnto you the wilde vagaryes of this of this wanton wag pasty a wil-doates I warrant him and sir Harry that your daughter hath scap't this skouring thanke this gentleman and then make of him as hee deserues Sir Harry O I remember him Grace Hee never pleas'd mine eye so well as now I know his Love and hee in Chartlyes place My favour shall possesse Sencer Thanks my sweete Grace Sir Har. Ey and the more the inconstant youth to spight Sencer I gaue her thee in Chartlyes sight Chart. There 's one gone already but this is my wife and her I le keepe in spight both of the Devill and his dam Wisew. Not from her lawfull Husband Chart. That am I Wisew. That is the Gentleman accept him Luce And you then like of her nay I le make it good This gentleman married you visarded you him disguis'd mistaking him for Chartly which none but my boy Iack was privy too after shee chang'd her habit with him as you with Iack And you in mistresse Luces habit Luce. May I beleeue you mother Wisew. This bee your token Boyst. Her that I married I wrong twice by the finger Luce. Of that token my hand was sensible Boyst. And ere the clamorous and loud noise bee gone I whisperd to her thus Luce. You are the man Boyster Thanks granam what thou promist thou hast done Father And leauing him I take you for my sonne Chart. Two gone then where 's the third this makes mee mad where is my wife then for a wife I had Wisew. Not see thy wife Come hither jack my boy Nay take him to thee and with him all joy Old Chart. Well art thou seru'd to bee a generall scorne To all thy bloud and if not for our sakes For thy soules health and credit of the world Haue some regarded to mee to mee thy father Chartly Enough sir if I should say I would become A new man You would not take my word If I should sweare I would amend my life You would not take mine oath if I should bind my selfe to become an honest man you would scarce take my bond Old Chart. I should doe none of these Chartly Then see sir when to all your judgements I see me past grace doe lay hold of Grace and heere begin to retyre my selfe this woman hath lent mee a glasse in which I see all my imperfections at which my conscience doth more blush inwardly then my face outwardly and now I dare confidently vndertake for my selfe I am honest 2. Luce. Then I dare confidently vndertake to helpe you to a wife who desires to haue an honest man or none looke on mee well simple though I stand heere I am your wife blush not at your folly man perhaps I haue more in mee then you expect from mee Chartly Knavery and riot both which are now to mee meane forige 2. Luce. You and I haue bin better acquainted and yet search mee not too farre least you shame mee looke on mee well nay better better yet I le assure you I left of a petticoate when I put on these breeches What say you now shee skatters her hayre Chart. First loue and best beloved 2. Luce. Let me bee both or neither Wisew. My boy turn'd girle I hope shee 'l keepe my counsell from henceforth I le never entertaine any servant but I le haue her searcht Old Chart. Her love hath drawne her hither after him My loving daughter welcome thou hast runne A happy course to see my sonne thus chang'd Chartly Father call mee once againe your sonne and sir Harry mee your friend Sencer an hand and mistresse Grace an hart in honourable loue Where I hane wrong'd you Luce forgiue Impute my errours to my youth not mee with Grace I interchange an imbrace with you Luce a parting busse I wish you all joy devide my part amongst you thou my soule Nay mother midnight there 's some loue for you Out of thy folly beeing reputed wise Wee selfe conceated haue our follyes found Beare thou the name of all these comick acts Luce. Luce and Grace O covetous man I see I sought to ingrosse what now sufficeth three Yet each one wife enough one Nuptiall Feast Shall serue three Bridalls where bee thou chiefe guest Exeunt omnes Explicat Actus 5us TO HIS CHOSEN FRIEND the learned Author Mr Thomas Heywood THou wants no Herald to divulge thy fame It needes no Apologie Only thy name Into judicious Readers doth infuse A will to adde a Lawrell to thy muse Was now Maecenae living How would hee Support thy learned wit Whose industry Hath purchas'd such a knowing skill That those Who read admire thee lesse some Criticke showes His Ignorance in seeking with new songs To gaine the honour which to thee belongs But let pale envie belch forth all her spight Thy Candid fame shalt still containe white Vnspotted pure and faire till memory Be turn'd obliuion or a Deity Proue mortall And when Atropos shall doe The fatall office her belongs vnto Apollo will rebreath a life in thee In length to equall all eternitye Where in Elyzian joyes hee will so raise Thy worth where never wither shall the bayes Wherewith hee crownes thee So thy works will show The Debt I pay 's no more but what I owe SAMVEL KING FINIS