politique dissembling Knight Now he perceives my Father so affectionate And that my brother may hereafter liue By him and his with equall vse of either He will put on a face of hollowe friendship But this will proue an excellent ground to sow The seede of mirthe amongst vs 〈◊〉 go seeke Valerio and my brother and tell them Such newes of their affaires as they 'le admire Exit Enter Gazetta Bellonora Gratiana Gaze. How happie are your fortunes aboue mine Both still being woode and courted still so feeding On the delightes of loue that still you finde An appetite to more where I am cloyde And being bound to loue sportes care not for them Bell. That is your fault Gazetta we haue Loues And wish continuall company with them In honour'd marriage rites which you enioy But seld or neuer can we get a looke Of those we loue Fortunio my deare 〈◊〉 Dare not be knowne to loue me nor come neere My Fathers house where I as in a prison Consume my lost dayes and the tedious nights My Father guarding me for one I 〈◊〉 And Gratiana here my brothers loue Ioyes him by so much 〈◊〉 that vehement feare Drinkes vp the sweetnesse of their stolne delightes Where you enloye a husband and may freely Performe all obsequies you desire to loue Gaze. Indeede I hane a husband and his 〈◊〉 Is more then I desire being vainely ielouse Extreames though contrarie haue the like effects Extreames heate mortifies like extreame colde Extreame loue breedes 〈◊〉 as well As extreame Hatred and too violent rigour Tempts Chastetie as much as too much Licence There 's no mans eye fixt on mee but doth pierce My Husbandes soule If any take my wel-fare Hee straight doubts Treason practis'd to his bed Fancies but to himselfe all likelihoods Of my wrong to him and layes all on mee For certaine trueths yet seekes he with his best To put Disguise on all his Ielosie Fearing perhaps least it may teach me that Which otherwise I should not dreame vpon Yet liues he still abrode at great expence Turns merely Gallant from his Farmers state Vses all Games and recreations Runnes Races with the 〈◊〉 of the Court Feastes them at home and entertaines them costly And then vpbraydes mee with their companie Enter 〈◊〉 See see wee shal be troubl'd with him now Cor. Now Ladyes what plots haue we now in hand They say when onely one Dame is alone Shee plots some mischiefe but if three together They plot three hundred Wife the Ayre is sharpe Y 'ad best to take the house least you take cold Gaz. Ahlas this time of yeere yeeldes no such danger Cor. Goe in I say a friend of yours attends you Gaz. Hee is of your bringing and may stay Cor. Nay stand not chopping Logicke in I pray Gaz. Yee see Gentle women what my happines is These humors raigne in mariage humors humors Exit he followith 〈◊〉 Now by my Sooth I am no fortune teller And would be loth to prooue so yet pronounce This at aduenture that t' were indecorum This Heffer should want hornes â—ll.. Fie on this Loue I rather wish to want then purchase so Gra. In deede such Loue is like a Smokie fire In a cold morning though the Fire be cheerefull Yet is the Smoke so sowre and combersome T' were better lose the Fire then finde the Smoke Such an attendant then as Smoke to Fire Is Ielosie to Loue Better want both Then haue both Enter Ualerio and Fortunio Ual. Come Fortunio now take hold On this occasion as my selfe on this One couple more would make a Barly-breake For. I feare Valerio wee shall breake too soone Your Fathers Ielosie Spy-all will displease 〈◊〉 Val. Well Wench the daye will come his Argus eyes Will shut and thou shalt open Sfoote I thinke Dame Natures memorie begins to fayle her If I write but my Name in Mercers Bookes I am as sure to haue at sixe months end A Rascole at my elbow with his Mace As I am sure my Fathers not farre hence My Father yet hath ought Dame Nature debt These threescore yeeres and ten yet cals not on him But if shee turne her Debt-booke ouer once And finding him her debtor do but send Her Sergeant Iohn Death to arrest his body Our Soules shall rest Wench then And the free Light Shall triumph in our faces where now Night In imitation of my Fathers frownes Lowres at our meeting Enter Rinald See where the Scholler comes Rin. Downe on your 〈◊〉 poore louers reuerence learning For. I pray thee why Rinaldo Rin. Marke what cause Flowes from my depth of knowledge to your loue To make you kneele and blesse me while you liue Ual. I pray thee good Scholards giue vs cause Rin. Marke then erect your eares you know what horror Would flye on your loue from your fathers frownes If he should know it And your sister here My brothers sweete hart knowes aswell what 〈◊〉 Would sease his powers for her if he should knowe My brother woo'd her or that she lou'd him Is not this true speake all Omn. All this is true Rin. It is as true that now you meete by stelth In depth of midnight kissing out at grates Clime ouer walles And all this 〈◊〉 reforme Vale. By Logicke Rin. Well sir you shall haue all meanes To liue in one house eate and drinke together Meete and kisse your fils Ual. All this by learning Rin. I and your frowning father know all this Val. I marry small learning may proue that Rin. Nay he shall know it and desire it too Welcome my Brother to him and your wife Entreating both to come and dwell with him Is not this strange For. I too strange to be true Rin. T is in this head shall worke it Therefore heare Brother this Lady you must call your wife For I haue tolde her sweet harts Father here That she is your wife and because my Father Who now beleeues it must be quieted Before you see him you must liue a while As husband to her in his Fathers house Ualerio here 's a simple meane for you To lye at racke and manger with your wedlocke And brother for your selfe to meete as freely With this your long desir'd and barred loue For. You make vs wonder Rin. Peace be ruld by mee And you shall see to what a perfect shape â—e bring this rude Plott which blind Chaunce the Ape Of Counsaile aduice hath brought foorth blind Ualerio can your heat of loue forbeare Before your Father and allow my Brother To vse some kindnes to your wife before him Ual. I before him I do not greatlie care Nor anie where in deed my Sister heere Shall be my spie if shee will wrong her selfe And giue her right to my wife I am pleasd For. My dearest life I know will neuer feare Anie such will or thought in all my powers When I court her then thinke I thinke t is thee When I embrace her hold thee in mine Armes Come let vs practise gainst
Sonnes witts Grat. Not so good Sir The better husband the more courtlie euer Rin. In deed a Courtier makes his lipps go farre As he doth all things else Enter Ualerio Bell Gost. Daughter reciue This Gentlewoman home and vse her kindly She kisses her Bell. My Father bids you kindly welcome Lady And therefore you must needes come well to mee Grat. Thanke you for-soth Gost. Goe Dame conduct-am in Exeunt Rinaldo Fortunio Bell Grat. Ah errant Sheepes-head hast thou liu'd thus long And dar'st not looke a Woman in the face Though I desire especially to see My Sonne a Husband Shall I therefore haue him Turne absolute Cullion Le ts see kisse thy hand Thou kisse thy hand thou wip'st thy mouth by th' masse Fie on thee Clowne They say the world 's growne finer But I for my part neuer saw Youngmen Worse fashin'd and brought vp then now adayes Sfoote when my selfe was young was not I kept As farre from Court as you I thinke I was And yet my Father on a time inuited The Dutchesse of his house I beeing then About some fiue and twentie yeares of age Was thought the onelie man to entertaine her I had my Conge plant my selfe of one legg Draw backe the tother with a deepe fetcht honor Then with a Bell regard aduant mine eye With boldnes on her verie visnomie Your Dauncers all were counterfets to mee And for discourse in my faire Mistresse presence I did not as you barraine Gallants doe Fill my discourses vp drinking Tobacco But on the present furnisht euer more With tales and practisde speeches as some times What i st a clocke What stuff 's this Petticoate What cost the making What the Frindge and all And what she had vnder her Petticoate And such like wittie complements and for need I could haue written as good Prose and Verse As the most beggerlie Poet of am all Either accrostique Exordion Epithalamions Satyres Epigrams Sonnets in Doozens or your Quatorzanies In any Rime Masculine Feminine Or Sdrnciolla or cooplets Blancke Verse Y' are but bench-whistlers now a dayes to them That were in our times well about your Husbandrie Go for I'fayth th' art fit for nothing else Exit Val. prodit Mar. Mar. Ber-Ladie you haue plaide the Courtier rarelie Gost. But did you euer see so blanck a Foole When he should kisse a Wench as my Sonne is Mar. Ahlas t is but a little bashfulnes You let him keepe no companie nor allow him Monie to spend at Fence and Dauncing-scholes Y' are too seueere y'faith Gost. And you too supple VVell Sir for your sake I haue staide your Sonne From flying to the warres now see you rate him To staie him yet from more expencefull courses Wherein your lenitie will encourage him Mar. Let me alone I thank you for this kindnes Exeunt Enter Ualerio and Rinaldo Rin. So are they gone Now tell me braue Ualerio Haue I not wonne the wreath from all your wits Brought thee t' enioy the most desired presence Of thy deare loue at home and with one labour My brother t' enioy thy sister where It had beene her vndooing t' haue him seene And make thy father craue what he abhorres T' entreate my brother home t' enioy his daughter Commaund thee kisse thy wench chide for not kissing And worke all this out of a Macheuil A miserable Politician I thinke the like was neuer plaid before Vale. Indeede I must commend thy wit of force And yet I know not whose deserues most praise Of thine or my wit thine for plotting well Mine that durst vndertake and carrie it With such true forme Rin. Well th' euening crownes the daie Perseuer to the end my wit hath put Blinde Fortunne in a string into your hand Vse it discreetlie keepe it from your Father Or you may bid all your good daies good night Ual. Let me alone boy Rin. Well sir now to varie The pleasures of our wits thou knowst Valerio Here is the new turnd Gentlemans faire wife That keepes thy wife and sister companie With whome the amorous Courtier Doriotto Is farre in loue and of whome her sowre husband Is passing 〈◊〉 puts on Eagles eies To 〈◊〉 into her carriage Shall wee see If he be now from home and visite her Enter Gazetta sowing Cornelio following See see the prisoner comes Ual. But soft Sir see Her ielous Iaylor followes at her heeles Come we will watch some fitter time to boord her And in the meane time seeke out our mad crue My spirit 〈◊〉 to swagger Rin. Goe too youth walke not too boldly if the Sergeants meete you You may haue swaggering worke your bellie full Val. No better Copesmates Gazetto sits and singes sowing I le go seeke im out with this light in my hand The slaues grow proud with seeking out of vs Exeunt Cor. A prettie worke I pray what flowers are these Gaze. The Pancie this Cor. O that 's for louers thoughtes What 's that a Columbine Gaze. No that thankles Flower fitts not my Garden Cor. Him yet it may mine This were a pretrie present for some friend Some gallant Courtier as for Doriotto One that adores you in his soule I know Gaz. Mee why mee more then your selfe I pray Cor. O yes hee adores you and adhornes mee Y faith deale plainelie Doe not his kisses relish Much better then such Pessants as I am Gaz. Whose kisses Cor. Doriottoes does he not The thing you wot on Gaz. What thing good Lord Cor. Why Lady lie with you Gaz. Lie with mee Cor. I with you Gaz. You with mee indeed Cor. Nay I am told that he lies with you too And that he is the onely Whore-maister About the Cittie Gaz. Yf he be so onely T is a good hearing that there are no more Cor. Well Mistresse well I will not be abusde Thinke not you daunce in Netts for though you do not Make brode profession of your loue to him Y et do I vnderstand your darkest language Your treads ath ' toe your secret iogges and wringes Your enter course of glaunces euery tittle Of your close Amorous rites I vnderstand They speake as loud to mee as if you said My dearest Dariotto I am thine Gaz. Iesus what moodes are these did euer Husband Follow his Wife with Ielosie so vnjust That once I lou'd you you your selfe will sweare And if I did where did you lose my Loue In deed this strange and vndeserued vsage Hath powre to shake a heart were nere so setled But I protest all your vnkindnes neuer Had strength to make me wrong you but in thought Cor. No not with Doriotto Gaz. No by heauen Cor. No Letters past nor no designes for meeting Gaz. No by my hope of heauen Cor. Well no time past Goe goe goe in and sow Gaz. Well bee it so Exit Gaz. Cor. Suspition is they say the first degree Of deepest wisedome and how euer others inueygh against this mood of Ielousy For my part I suppose it the best curb To check the ranging appetites that raigne In this
AL FOOLES A Comody Presented at the Black Fryers And lately before his Maiestie Written by George Chapman AT LONDON Printed for Thomas Thorpe 1605 Actors Gostanzo Knights Mar. Antonio Knights Valerio sonne to Gostanzo Fortunio elder sonne to Marc Antonio Rynaldo the younger Dariotto Courtiers Claudio Courtiers Cornelio A start-vp Gentleman Curio a Page Kyte a Scriuener Fraunces Pock a Surgeon Gazetta wife to Cor Bellonora daughter to Gostanzo Gratiana Stolne wife to Valerio Prologus THe fortune of a Stage like Fortunes selfe Amazeth greatest iudgements And none knowes The hidden causes of those strange effects That rise from this Hell or fall from this Heauen Who can shew cause why your wits that in-ayme At higher Obiects scorne to compose Playes Though we are sure they could would they vouchsafe it Should without meanes to make iudge better farre Then those that make and yet yee see they can For without your applause wretched is he That vndertakes the Stage and he 's more blest That with your glorious fauours can contest Who can shew cause why th' ancient Comick vaine Of Eupolis and Cratinus now reuiu'd Subiect to personall application Should be exploded by some bitter splenes Yet merely Comicall and harmelesse iestes Though nere so witty be esteem'd but toyes If voide of th other satyrismes sauce Who can shew cause why quick Uenerian iestes Should sometimes rauish sometimes fall farre short Of the iust length and pleasure of your eares When our pure Dames thinke them much lesse obscene Then those that winne your Panegyrick splene But our poore doomes alas you know are nothing To your inspired censure euer we Must needs submit and there 's the mistery Great are the giftes giuen to vnited heades To gifts attyre to faire attyre the stage Helps much for if our other audience see You on the stage depart before we end Our wits goe with you all and we are fooles So Fortune gouernes in these stage euents That merit beares least sway in most contents Auriculas Asini quis non habet How we shall then appeare we must referre To Magicke of your doomes that neuer erre All Fooles Actus primi Scaena prima Enter Rynaldo Fortunio Valerio Ryn. CAn one selfe cause in subiects so a like As you two are produce effect so vnlike One like the Turtle all in mournefull straines Wailing his fortunes Th' other like the Larke Mounting the sky in shrill and cheerefull notes Chaunting his ioyes aspir'd and both for loue In one loue rayseth by his violent heate Moyst vapours from the heart into the eyes From whence they drowne his brest in dayly showers In th' other his diuided power infuseth Onely a temperate and most kindly warmth That giues life to those fruites of wit and vertue Which the vnkinde hand of an vnciuile father Had almost nipt in the delightsome blossome For. O brother loue rewards our seruices With a most partiall and iniurious hand If you consider well our different fortunes Valerio loues and ioyes the dame he loues I loue and neuer can enioy the sight Of her I loue so farre from conquering In my desires assault that I can come To lay no battry to the Fort I seeke All passages to it so strongly kept By straite guard of her Father Ryn. I dare sweare If iust desert in loue measur'd reward Your fortune should exceede Valerios farre For I am witnes being your Bed fellow Both to the dayly and the nightly seruice You doe vnto the deity of loue In vowes sighes teares and solitary watches He neuer serues him with such sacrifice Yet hath his Bowe and shaftes at his commaund Loues seruice is much like our humorous Lords Where Minions carry more then Seruitors The bolde and carelesse seruant still obtaines The modest and respectiue nothing gaines You neuer see your loue vnlesse in dreames He Hymen puts in whole possession What different starres raign'd when your loues were borne He forc't to weare the Willow you the horne But brother are you not asham'd to make Your selfe a slaue to the base Lord of loue Be got of Fancy and of Beauty borne And what is Beauty a meere Quintessence Whose life is not in being but in seeming And therefore is not to all eyes the same But like a cousoning picture which one way Shewes like a Crowe another like a Swanne And vpon what ground is this Beauty drawne Vpon a Woman a most brittle creature And would to God for my part that were all Fort. But tell me brother did you neuer loue Ryn. You know I did and was belou'd againe And that of such a Dame as all men deem'd Honour'd and made me happy in her fauours Exceeding faire she was not and yet faire In that she neuer studyed to be fayrer Then Nature made her Beauty cost her nothing Her vertues were so rare they would haue made An Aethyop beautifull At least so thought By such as stood aloofe and did obserue her With credulous eyes But what they were indeed I le spare to blaze because I lou'd her once Onely I found her such 〈◊〉 for her sake I vow eternall warres against their whole sexe Inconstant shuttle-cocks louing fooles and 〈◊〉 Men rich in durt and tytles sooner woone With the most vile then the most vertuous Found true to none if one amongst whole hundreds Chance to be chaste she is so proude withall Way ward and rude that one of vnchaste life Is oftentimes approu'd a worthier wife Vndressed sluttish nasty to their husbands Spung'd vp adorn'd and painted to their louers All day in cesselesse vprore with their housholdes If all the night their husbands haue not pleas'd them Like hounds most kinde being beaten and abus'd Like wolues most cruell being kindelyest vs'd For. Fye thou prophan'st the deity of their sexe Ry. Brother I read that Aegipt heretofore Had Temples of the riches frame on earth Much like this goodly edifice of women With Alablaster pillers were those Temples Vphelde and beautified and so are women Most curiously glaz'd and so are women Cunningly painted too and so are women In out-side wondrous heauenly so are women But when a stranger view'd those phanes within In stead of Gods and Goddesses he should finde A painted fowle a fury or a serpent And such celestiall inner parts haue women Val. Rynaldo the poore Foxe that lost his tayle Perswaded others also to loose theirs Thy selfe for one perhaps that for desert Or some defect in thy attempts refus'd thee Reuil'st the whole sexe beauty loue and all I tell thee Loue is Natures second sonne Causing a spring of vertues where he shines And as without the Sunne the Worlds great eye All colours beauties both of Arte and Nature Are giuen in vaine to men so without loue All beauties bred in women are in vaine All vertues borne in men lye buried For loue informes them as the Sunne doth colours And as the Sunne reflecting his warme beames Against the earth begets all fruites and flowers So loue fayre shining in the inward man
would he haue it well sir Dari. A very necessary question canst thou limit the time Pock O sir cures are like causes in law which may be lengthned or shortned at the discretion of the Lawyer he can either keepe it greene with replications or reioinders or sometimes skinne it faire a' th outside for fashion sake but so he may be sure 't will breake out againe by a writt of error and then has he his suite new to begin but I will couenant with you that by such a time I le make your head as sound as a Bell I will bring it to suppuration and after I will make it coagulate and growe to a perfect Cycatrice and all within these ten dayes so you keepe a good dyet Dar. Well come Pock wee le talke farther on 't within it drawes neere dinner time what 's a clock boye Page By your clock sir it should be almost one for your head rung noone some halfe houre agoe Dar. I st true sir Val. Away let him alone though he came in at the window he sets the gates of your honor open I can tell you Dar. Come in Pock come apply and for this deede I le giue the Knaue a wound shall neuer bleed So sir I thinke this knock rings lowd acquittance For my ridiculouse Exeunt all but Rinal. Valer. Ryn. Well sir to turne our heads to salue your licence Since you haue vsd the matter so vnwisely That now your father has discern'd your humor In your too carelesse vsage in his house Your wife must come from his house to Antonios And he to entertaine her must be tould She is not wife to his sonne but to you Which newes will make his simple wit triumphe Ouer your father and your father thinking He still is guld will still account him simple Come sir prepare your villanous witt to faine A kinde submission to your fathers fury And we shall see what harty policie He will discouer in his fained Anger To blinde Antonios eyes and make him thinke He thinkes her hartely to be your wife Val. O I will gull him rarely with my wench Lowe kneeling at my heeles before his furie And iniury shal be salu'd with iniurie Finis Actus 3. ACTVS 4. SCENA 1. Marc-Ant Gostanzo Marc-Ant. You see how too much wisdome 〈◊〉 Out-shootes the truth you were so forwards still To taxe my ignorance my greene experience In these gray haires for giuing such advantage To my sonnes spirit that he durst vndertake A secret match so farre short of his woorth Your sonne so seasoned with obedience Euen from his youth that all his actions relish Nothing but dutie and your angers feare What shall I say to you if it fall out That this most precious sonne of yours has plaide A part as bad as this and as rebellious Nay more has grosely guld your witt withall What if my sonne has vndergone the blame That appertain'd to yours and that this wench With which my sonne is charg'd may call you father Shall I then say you want experience Y' are greene y' are credulous easie to be blinded Gost. Ha ha ha good Marc-Antonio When 't comes to that laugh at me call me foole proclaime so Let all the world take knowledge I am an Asse Marc. O the good God of Gods How blinde is Pride what Eagles we are still In matters that belong to other men What Beetles in our owne I tell you Knight It is consest to be as I haue tould you And Gratiana is by young Rinaldo And your white sonne brought to me as his wife How thinke you now Sir Gost. Euen iust as before And haue more cause to thinke honest Credulity Is a true Loadstone to draw on Decrepity You haue a hart to open to imbrace All that your eare receiues alas good man All this is but a plot for entertainment Within your house for your poore sonnes yong wife My house without huge danger cannot holde Mar. I st possible what danger Sir I pray Gost. 〈◊〉 tell you Sir t was time to take her thence My sonne that last day you saw could not frame His lookes to entertaine her now bir-lady Is grone a Courtier for my selfe vnseene Saw when he courted her imbrac't and kist her And I can tell you left not much vndone That was the proper office of your sonne Mar. What world is this Gost, I tolde this to Rinaldo Aduising him to fetch her from my house And his yong wit not knowing where to lodge her Vnlesse with you and saw that could not be Without some wyle I presently suggested This queint deuise to say she was my sonnes And all this plot good Marc-Antonio Flow'd from this fount onely to blinde our eyes Mar. Out of how sweete a dreame haue you awak't me By heauen I durst haue laid my part in heauen All had bin true it was so liuely handled And drawne with such a seeming face of trueth Your sonne had cast a perfect vaile of grief Ouer his face for his so rash offence To seale his loue with act of marriage Before his father had subscrib'd his choyce My sonne my circumstance lessening the fact Intreating me to breake the matter to you And ioyning my effectuall perswasions With your sonnes penitent submission Appease your fury I at first assented And now expect their comming to that purpose Gost. T' was well t' was well see me to beleeue it still Let Art end what Credulitie began When they come suire your words and lookes to theirs Second my sad Sonnes fain'd submission And see in all points how my braine will answere His disguisde grief with a set countenance Of and choller now obserue and learne To schoole your sonne by me Intrant Rynaldo Val Grat Mar. On with your maske here come the other maskers sir Rinal. Come on I say Your Father with submission wil be calm'd come on downe a your knees Gost. Villaine durst thou Presume to gull thy Father doost thou not Tremble to see my bent and cloudy browes Ready to thunder on thy gracelesse head And with the bolt of my displeasure cut The thred of all my liuing from thy life For taking thus a beggar to thy wife Val. Father if that part I haue in your blood If teares which so aboundantly distill Out of my inward eyes and for a neede Can drowne these outward lend me thy hand-kercher And being indeed as many drops of blood Issuing from the Creator of my hart Be able to beget so much compassion Not on my life but on this louely Dame Whom I hold dearer Gost. Out vpon thee villaine Marc. Nay good Gostanzo thinke you are a Father Gost. I will not heare a word out out vpon thee Wed without my aduise my loue my knowledge I and a begger too a trull a blowse Rinal. You thought not so last day when you offerd her A twelue months boord for one nights lodging with her Gost. Goe too no more of that peace good Rinaldo It is a fault