earth O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 108. Give me then thy self my sweet Jesus that I may please thy self for without thee I shall be still my self and displeasing still to thee 109. For I am all evil and thou O God art all good I am all Hell and thou art all Heaven Ah thou my God that can'st do all things turn my evil unto good that my Hell may be brought into thy Heaven 110. Joy in fear and by reason of fear for every man hath a double fear till he have perfect love that casteth out all fear 111. Fear causeth me to doubt and fear causeth me to believe fear bringeth me grief and fear bringeth me joy fear casteth me down to Hell and fear raiseth me up to Heaven fear causeth me to distrust and fear causeth me to trust fear affrights me with sadness and fear comforts me with rejoycings for if I did not fear I might justly be afraid if I did not fear the want of grace I might justly fear I had no grace if I did not fear falllng I fear I should fall indeed But though through fear I am many times afraid yet I would not be without fear though I should be always afraid for fear causeth me to put away fear and not to fear fear nor to be afraid of fear through fear I trust I believe I rejoyce and I hope I shall be for ever brought out and freed from all fear 112. Happy is the man that feareth always Prov. 28. 14. 113. Ah Lord my God that art most faithfull and most true make me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ truly faithfull all my life that I may be faithfull even unto the death and then for ever to enjoy thy gracious promise of that Crown of life 114. Make me faithfully obedient unto thee in all things O Lord all my life that at death I may receive thy faithfull promise of that Crown of glory and life that I may ever live to glorifie thee O Lord of all glory by an Eternal and Everlasting life 115. Any thing of all that man can do as man God will not accept but all things that God doth man should accept and likewise know and believe that he doth all things and therefore ought accept all things 116. Man's best all all mans best is worse then all but Gods least all the least of God is above all and more worth then all 117. When I have thee my God I have all yea all that I would have But Ah when I want thee when I have thee not when thou art absent and seemest to be departed or but estranged from me I want all am without all and possess nothing even nothing at all though I have even all other possessions 118. Let my all O Lord be all in thee That thou may'st be all unto me 119. I am much more offended that I have offended my God then I am afraid that my God is offended with me 120. I much more fear my sins to come then my sins past because my fear for my sins past is already past but my fear is always present for my sins to come yea it is my only fear and that which affrights me only 121. When I consider and ponder on the much joy that I enjoy to the little I deserve to enjoy and yet that this much is little to that which I hope and believe I shall enjoy Ah how my heart is filled and ravished with unspeakable joy 122. All glory be given to thee O God the God and giver of all gifts of all grace and of all glory Amen Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1656. O Lord God I most humbly and most heartily beg and beseech thee be thou graciously pleased in love and in mercy in and through Jesus Christ to be with me thy poor and unworthy Servant here in this place where thou hast by thy Providence brought me at all times as thou hast been with me in all other places at other times that thy power and thy might may be seen in me and thy holy and blessed spirit leading guiding governing and directing me in all things that I shall take in hand to do that I may by grace walk upprightly in the midst of this crookâ—d froward and perverse generation and that they seeing my good works that is thou O God working in me they may glorifie thy great and holy name O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Ah Lord suffer me not here following to write my own words but thine not seek my self with selfish love but thy self with true sincere unfeigned love to thy self not mine honour but thine honour not my praise but thy praise not my glory but thy glory my souls salvation and the good benefit and advantage of others and all I beg and what else thou knowest to be needfull for me for Jesus Christ my blessed only alone Saviour and Mediator and and Redeemers sake Amen A Prayer O All holy Almighty Infinite and Incomprehensible wise glorious gracious good mercifull patient sweet lovely loving and most blessed and ever blessed Lord God thou art not only holy but holiness it self not only wise but wisdom it self not only good but goodness it self not only mercifull but mercy it self not only patient but patience it self not only sweet but sweetness it self not only love and loving but love it self not only strong but strength it self not only powerfull but all power it self not only great but greatness it self not only mighty but Almighty and might it self not only blessed but blessedness all blessedness it self not only happy but possessing all happiness making all happy that are happy being happiness it self all good O God is in thee and comes forth from thee thou containest all things being all things all things being in thee but art contained by none thou art what thou wilt be and therefore willest what thou wilt it is thy honour and thy glory that thou art what thou art all thy doings are wonderfull and like thy self holy just and true thou art all things do'st all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually never repenting repining nor upbraiding glorious thou art in holiness fearfull thou art in praises doing wonders all thy works do praise thee Ah let me thy unworthy unnatural disobedient sinful and wretched Creature in my self out of thee do the same every moment and all the moments of my life by all my thoughts words and actions both at home and abroad that thy power O God and thy might even thine Almighty power may be always seen in me and shew forth to thy glory that thou abidest and dwellest in me so that all that shall behold me may love thee and long for thee running after thee to obtain thee and so by enjoying thee may likewise praise thee O God I know that thou do'st all that thou wilt and willest all that thou dost thou art as willing as able and
earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I come to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infiniteness and eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy Mercies sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost three persons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawfull calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obedientlâ— circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me always value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no Token either of thy Hatred or of thy Love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be always as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal loss Ah Lord let the eyes of my understanding be enlightned and always open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingness whilst I shall possess them and that worldly bliss consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem always that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best Come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will always please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will always please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward Man the New not the Old Man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfeignedly beg and beseech thâ—e in Jesus Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing whatever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the days of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my days unto the very last hour of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witness a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Jesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that tryest the heart and searchest the Reins thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as wilingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty Maker Giver and Preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the â—nds and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatness of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and to write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that
in me 143. And seeing that the more holy we are the more heavenly we are and the more like unto thee O most heavenly and most holy Lord God that is throughout holy in Spirit Soul and Body grant that though I am here below on earth and earth I may in holiness be like unto thee above who art in Heaven and art Heaven 144. Ah Lord God that hast fitted and prepared Heaven for me prepare me for it that I may enjoy thee all who art my all and my only Joy 145. And seeing none shall enjoy thee in Heaven but those that enjoy thee on Earth Ah Lord let me so enjoy thee here that I may long to be dissolved for ever to enjoy thee there yet not for mine own sake only but for thine own sake good Lord. 146. Ah Lord let my joy be so full of thee here on Earth as I may always long to be filled with thy fulness of joy in Heaven and to enjoy fully those pleasures that are there at thy right hand and shall endure for ever more 147. Yet O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to make me still patient to wait untill my blessed change shall come and that I may always say thine O Lord thine and not my will be done 148. Ah come Lord Jesus come when thou wilt and as thou wilt either at midnight or at the Cock crowing for though I do long for thy coming to take me hence unto thy self yet I would rather O Lord thou knowest that I had rather abide here to do thy will and for thy sake on earth than to leave thy will undone and to be in Heaven for my own sake 149. Ah Lord my Lord and my God I confess that thou hast in the abundance of thy goodness love and mercy done so much for me in bringing me out of Hell and assuring me of Heaven that even all that I can imagine to do to lose or to suffer is so little so too too little as I could wish yea and do wish that I could do more and suffer more to witness that my little will is great or desires and would be great willingly 150. Ah Lord I know and am well assured that thy goodness is so great and thy greatness so good for the sake of my soul that my soul longeth to be great in goodness to do great good things for thy great goodness sake 151. Ah Lord God seeing what thou hast done for me is to assure me of thine Eternal Love and Mercy in Jesus Christ give me I beseech thee grace that I may not turn thy gifts of grace into wantonness but for this thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me grant that it may be a strong and firm obligation unto me to depend upon thy Love and to be assured that thou wilt continue to do as thou hast begun that is continually continue to love me 152. For seeing none but thy self O Lord could do the things that thou hast done that is to love me such a loveless yea vile wretch as I am in my self I will therefore be bold to say surely the Lord will ever love me because he doth thus love me and hath ever loved me thus 153. Ah suffer me not then O Lord God holy just and true to depart from thee by setting up any other God in my heart or my heart to love choose or esteem any other good than thy self who art only good all good and able only to do me all good and to make me to do all good 154. Ah Lord God in thine own good time accomplish and finish the good which thou hast begun to work in me by causing me to depart from all evil 155. And suffer me not I humbly beseech thee for thine own great holy and dear name sake to go astray from those holy holy holy ways which thou hast set before me and written with the finger of thine own Spirit on my heart 156. But grant O Lord that my Soul may continually be ravisht with the pleasantness of them and to delight to sit always under the shadow of thy branches for thou knowest O Lord thou right well knowest how sweet and delightful the fruit of thy Word and the knowledge of thy ways is to the tast of my Soul 157. And therefore and to praise thee doth my Soul long to come into thy house to behold thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary and to hide my self under the shadow of thy wings that no evil may come nigh me to hurt me 158. Ah Lord thou that hast wrought in me holy desires to do thy whole and holy will give me grace to teach and instruct others and to tell them how willing thou art to teach all sinners to come out of their sins and to direct them how to walk well pleasing unto thee and to lead them by the hand that they slip not 159. Ah Lord suffer me not to do as do the men of the World to labour to heap up and gather these things that profit not and to leave behind me much of these low earthly outward things that endure but for a season but let me rather cast off these garments bespottted in the flesh and follow thee naked and gather up and distribute those true and heavenly riches which shall make the Soul glad and rich and honourable for ever that my heirs may be heirs of Heaven and not of Earth 160. Ah Lord Let all the Worlds all be all unto me as I was unto thee when in it and of it even as a menstruous cloth and my all not worth any thing at all 161. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind earth any more with an earthly but with a heavenly mind and that my heart may be always there where my true only and everlasting treasure is and that I may live in the World as if I were not of the World and use these things below as low things even as if I used them not 162. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind these things my self which I teach and labour to have others forget and not to mind and so save them but perish my self 163. Ah Lord full of grace give me grace to shew forth unto all that all my covetings ambition and longings are for the things above and not for these things here below and that these things here are fit and only fit for such as have their hearts and affections here 164. Ah Lord sure yea most sure it is that those that are risen with thee will seek the things that are above even where thou sittest at the right hand of God and that those that do it not are not yet risen but lye dead in the grave of their sins 165. Ah Lord suffer not the World to deceive any that their Souls may not be deceived and they perish for ever in their sins 166. But bring them all home Ah Lord bring them all home unto thy self and betroth them all to thy self here by
forsaken of all if thou dost here forsake God and refuse to be led guided and directed by his holy Spirit who is only able to keep thee safe from all evil and to do thee all all good 207. O man man Reader whoever thou art I pray thee I pray thee as the Prophet did and say unto thee in his words O earth earth earth return return unto the Lord thy God and thou shalt find mercy his hand is not shortned his ear is not dull of hearing he is the same yesterday to day and for ever it is thy sins thy sins and only thy sins that separate between thee and thy God leave Ah leave then but thy sins and return unto the Lord and thou shalt find mercy and to our God who is full of Compassion Ah tast tast and see how good the Lord is and how gracious he will be unto thee if thou wilt leave and forsake thy filthy filthy sins though thou hast played the Prodigal and spent the stock of his Grace on Harlots and Strangers in a far Country yet Ah yet if thou wilt but return whilst he seeth thee yet afar off he will run towards thee to meet thee and fall on thy neck and kiss thee and kill for thee the fatted Calf and array thee with the best white Robes even with the Royal and most glorious Robes of his own only natural Son and thine Eldest Brother Christ Jesus he will delight in thee yea set his heart upon thee to do thee good and bring thee home to himself and give thee himself for thy Portion and make thee his own inheritance for ever 208. But I am perswaded that thou art fully perswaded that there is not so much sweetness in Jesus Christ as in the World nor his paths are not so pleasant and delightful as the ways of sin and therefore thou makest the World thy God and thy Christ and lovest it as thou should'st love God and Christ well the world and sin and its good and pleasures thou knowest well I desire only this one thing of thee that thou would'st labour to know Christ as well as thou knowest the world and sin serve him as many years as thou hast served them and if thou dost not find more sweet more beauty more pleasantness more delight more profit more advantage and more honour than in the world and sin return then to thine old Masters again and serve them but I promise and assure thee and will freely pawn thee my soul for surety that thou shalt gain more by serving Christ one year if that thou dost it as thou oughtest than by serving the world and sin all the days of thy lif 〈…〉 and if thou dost repent of thy bargain I will confess that I do deserve thy curses and not thy prayers thou shalt find thou shalt find that his ways are not strowed with Thorns and Thistles as thou supposest but with Odoriferous Roses and sweet perfumes as thou supposest not keep Ah keep faithfully thy Covenant with God and he will give thee much more than thou art able to ask than thou art able to think 209. Consider the service thou shalt do for God thou shalt by thy life if Godly perhaps bring home many to him for thy Companions heretofore in sin will have more regard to thee than unto others of the Godly and will now conclude that surely Gods ways are the most pleasant and delightsome seeing thou preferrest them and choosest and esteemest and praisest them above and more and beyond all the wayes of sin and this may cause them perhaps to make a tryal which if they do there is hopes for God will not be wanting on his part to shew them mercy if they desire it and seek it faithfully with all their hearts 210. If thou wilt then witness thy living and being risen with Christ seek the things that are above where Christ sitteth at the right hand of God set your affections on things above not on things on the earth let your hearts be where your treasure is for ye are dead and your life is hid with Christ in God put off Ah put off the old man with all his deeds and put on the new man which is renewed in knowledge and after the Image of him that Created him and as the Elect of God put on bowels of mercies kindness humbleness of mind meekness longsuffering forbearing one another and forgiving one another if any man hath a quarrel against any even as Christ forgave you so also do ye and above all these things put on Charity which is the bond of perfectness and let the peace of God rule in your hearts to the which also ye are called in one body and be ye thankful let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another in Psalms and Hymns and spiritual Songs singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord and whatsoever ye do in word and deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God and the Father by him so then when Christ who is our life shall appear then shall ye also appear with him in glory 211. These are and I trust through Gods free grace in Jesus Christ shall ever be the longings and desires of the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart for all you that shall read it and for all the Israel of our God and I hope and shall pray the Lord in the infiniteness of his goodness to supply all my defects with the teachings and comforts of his own spirit who is the only teacher guider leader and Comforter Ah seek him then whil'st he may be found and God I hope will give him thee 212. Now the peace of God which passeth all understanding keep your hearts and minds in the knowledg and love of God and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord and the blessing of God Almighty the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost be with you and dwell in your hearts abundantly to the praise and glory of his holy name the good of others and the comfort of your own Souls Now henceforth and for ever more Amen 213. I had much rather be the poorest in the World even a Job or a Lazarus O Lord for thy sake than the richest of the World yea than to have all the World for my own sake 214. For I have all that I would have when I have all that thou O Lord my God wilt have me to have 215. I esteem all even as nothing at all if it come not O Lord from thee all 216. Alas alas what and how much nothing is this Worlds all if we have not Christs all that is all Christ 217. Let me then O my sweet Jesus have all that thou hast and I will not care whether I have any thing at all of all that the World hath 218. He that hath Christ for his Christ is heir of all things and sure of all things but
he that hath him not is heir of nothing but what is worth nothing and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing and therefore all that he is sure of is surely nothing but a very nothing 219. For what man hath to day to morrow flies away 220. Ah Lord my Lord give me I most humbly beseech thee that which will endure for ever and not that which perisheth ever 221. That O Lord that which cannot be destroyed and not that O Lord not that which will destroy me unless it be destroyed by thee 222. Give me first O Lord give me first a heart according to thine own heart and then I am sure I shall use the World not as I would but as thou wilt 223. Were I as certain to go to Hell which God forbid as I am certain through the merits of Jesus Christ to go to Heaven I would whil'st I should be on earth walk in the ways to Heaven and never go out of them till God had cast me into Hell 224. O Lord that knowest all things thou knowest O Lord God thou knowest how I love thy Laws and how I delight to walk in thy ways and to keep thy Commandments with my whole heart faithfully thou knowest O Lord is all the delight and joy of my heart yea my hearts only joy and delight 225. Blessed be God though I have many years tasted fed on and lived in the pleasures of sin and but few years in the sweet delights and pleasures of grace yet I am well content and willing to lose to cast off and utterly and for ever to forsake all sins sweets for graces bitter all sins robes for graces raggs and all sins pleasures and honours for Christs dishonour for I am now henceforth resolved to be Christs Servant ever and sins never Ah never never 226. Blessings are in the Prov. 30. 6. Add thou not unto his words lest he reprove thee and thou be found a lyar mouth and they proceed from the heart of him that feareth the Lord. 227. But curses come from him that knoweth him not 228. He that is wise in his own conceit is a Fool. 229. The Righteous man blesseth and is never weary of so doing but the wicked curseth and is always empty as Hell 230. Shame shall fall on him that wisheth mischief to his Neighbour without a cause 231. But glory and honour shall be the portion of him that loveth him 232. If thine Enemy sin rebuke him but let not thy countenance go along with him 233. He that feareth the Lord no evil shall befall him for he is kept safe 234. Wisdome glory and honour is the portion of him that waiteth at his Gates 235. Behold him that loveth the Lord and thou shalt see all his works to prosper 236. Regard not the evil of affliction on him that submitteth himself thereunto for it shall prove the joy of his heart 237. Gladness is always iâ— the heart of him that loveth Righteousness because he feareth always 238. As hony is to the tast so is holiness to him that loveth Righteousness 239. Dwell in peace and Gods love shall abide with thee 240. Be watchful over all thy ways so shall all thy doings prosper 241. Glad the heart of the Mourner and thou shalt anoynt him with sweet Oyl 242. Rejoyce thou in the day of affliction and let thy heart be merry for the Lord hath heard thy vows 243. Give thy self up to learn his Wisdome and refuse not his teachings when they come upon thee 244. Bind them upon thy shoulders lean upon them with thy whole might and they shall support thee 245. Grieve not the spirit of thy God who delighteth in thee 246. Give thy heart to know him so shalt thou be filled with his praises 247. Learn his ways and go not out of his paths for he delighteth to delight thee 248. Ah love him with thy whole heart and mind that all thy days may be the days of joy and gladness 249. Where ever the Lord is there is bountifulness and peace that passeth all understanding 250. Lean upon him and he shall support thee give up all thine all that is thy care unto him and he shall provide for thee things that shall never fail 251. He that hath him hath life and shall never see death 252. Wilt thou be merry give him thine heart let him direct it and follow him wheresoever he leadeth thee 253. His ways are ways of pleasure and his paths bring home to live with himself 254. Joy is in his Gates and no mourners come nigh him 255. He filleth the empty he watereth the dry and thirsty ground there is no want where he reigneth 256. Rejoyce then in the day of thy trouble and let thy heart be merry for he heareth all thy groanings and will compassionate thy bewailings 257. Let him alone strive not for all thy doings without him are as the puff of a wind which is not seen 258. He that submitteth to his ways shall find his doings advantagious for he knoweth of what we are made and all things that come from him bring joy where he is the giver 259. His mercies are as the Sun they dispel the Clouds of afflictions and warm the heart with the fire of love 260. He can do what he listeth there is none can hold his strong arm but all must bend when he commands 261. Trust then in the Lord who is thy strength and in the holy one of Israel who hath given himself to thee and for thee he will provide for thee he will satisfie all the desires of thy soul and cause thy heart mightily to rejoyce in his goodness and to triumph in all and over all things that come upon thee for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it and he will do it according to the former promises of his holy Spirit made unto thee in the day of thy straights and wants 262. Praise thou the Lord for great is his goodness towards thee and his loving kindness hath no end 263. This is thy Portion from the Almighty Amen Amen 264. Praise his holy name live for ever in his love dwell in peace 265. O Lord I know that thou hearest not my Prayers for their worthiness but they are worthy because thou hearest them 266. I am not worthy for any worthiness that is in me but for thy worthiness O my Jesus and my good God that flows from thy exceeding bounty into me 267. I know that thou dost not love me O Lord for any loveliness that is in me or because I love thee but I love thee O my Lord who art my God because thou knowest me 268. And because that thou dost love me now I know that thou did'st love me ever and therefore wilt love me ever even unto the end and yet I know well that there is nor shall be no end of thy love it is endless for ever and for ever 269. Thy love O Lord I know is like thy self nay thy
thoughts and affections with the Love and kindness or the loving kindness of God in Christ 315. To be arrayed gorgeously and gloriously is to be arrayed with humble and low thoughts of our selves esteeming our own righteousness unrighteousness and our very best bad enough to condemn us into Hell for ever but to have high heavenly thoughts of the righteousness and merits of Jesus Christ and that through his holiness worthiness and perfect obedience we shall be made perfectly holy and eternally happy 316. To be right Honourable and truly Honoured is to be Gods children and servants sons and daughters to him who is King of kings and Lord of lords 317. To have all things is to have Jesus Christ for Jesus and for our Christ get him Oh get him and I am sure thou wilt hereunto set thy seal 318. Wilt thou live happy live to him and for him only 319. Wilt thou dye willingly dye first to sin 220. Wilt thou live eternally live so then here as Christ thy head and thy husband lived when he was in the flesh doing always the will of God his heavenly Father 321. Wilt thou always be comforted and rejoyce make thy peace with thy God and labour to maintain it 322. For fear or favour to gain or lose what thou hast or mayest hope to have have a special care and resolve that thou consent not unto connive at or love the least or sweetest sin 323. And if unhappily at any time thou dost fall lie not Ah beware thou lye not willingly in it but rise quickly and come out of it by true sincere unfeigned repentance and wash and bathe thy self in tears of sorrow grief and lamentation but still hope and trust in the Lord for he will fail thee never In Bourdeaux Anno 1657. 1. ALL they that live holily live in God and God that is all holiness lives in them they dwell in him and he in them as sin is Hell is Devil is both torment and tormentor so holiness is Heaven is God is both Comfort and Comforter 2. All that is good is from God who is all good only good ever was and ever shall be all goodness is from his goodness yea from his overflowing fulness of goodness they are thus filled with all good 3. And as light brings out of darkness dispels it vanquisheth and overcomes it so Gods Love which is holiness delivers us from all sin dispels conquers and overcomes it brings us Ah brings us for ever out of this Hell sin into this Heaven holiness or Heavenly holiness 4. Love from God is made perfect that is sincere and this Love casteth out and overcomes all fear causeth true filial fear which flows from true sincere Love yea from this Love which is from Gods fear or the fear of God which is his Love 5. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake never to take thy holy spirit from me who is my light my life my joy my rejoycing my strength my hope my faith my confidence and my assured assurance 6. Thou teachest me O Lord all that I know and thou knowest well that I desire to know nothing but that and what thou wilt and dost intend to teach me 7. For to know any other thing yea to know all other things is even to know nothing to this one thing of knowing thee and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent to know him not only to be a Jesus and a Christ but our Christ and our Jesus in the Mystery not in the History in the spirit not in the letter not from notions but from motions living walking raigning ruling overcoming bringing under making subject willingly cheerfully constantly continually throughly seriously faithfully ardently gladly and perseveringly at all times and in all places and things 8. Ah how great a folly yea what greater folly is there than the wisdom of men and to learn only that which man can teach 9. What Ah what are all his words but meer words froth scum a scummy froth that is as soon dead as born short lived quickly made and quickly unmade and its making is its destruction it grows and withers together in growing it is even as its maker and it shews its maker man to be like it that is a windy puff as the puff of the wind man nothing man but vanity which is in it self worse than if it were not than if it were nothing 10. Mans greatness power strength honour beauty wisdom prudence policy what is it but as himself a vanishing vapour having nothing certain but that all he hath is uncertain what ever he hath to day of riches honours or pleasures to morrow all may say him nay and take themselves wings and flye away and he himself as the rich glutton goe where he shall ever stay and ever weep and wail this his very day the day that ever these or this was his 11. Ah how much nothing then is all things out of him that is all things even our God the God and giver of all things 12. Yet Lord I am content and willing to not to be any thing yea to be any thing for thy sake 13. O my soul I charge thee henceforth never to be afraid to lose what thou hast committed and given unto the Lord to keep for thee fear not then neither to lose any thing that he hath given thee and keeps for thee which is thy faith thy fear thy love thy joy thy hope thy peace thy comfort and thine assurance 14. Fear not to lose thy confidence obedience nor perseverance for he that hath given thee this thine all will so preserve and keep thee that thou shalt never fall 15. Speaking without feeling is even as dry bones that have no tast relish nor moisture that cannot nourish nor do not any whit satisfie or please the spiritual appetite 16. Me thinks to speak not what a man feels or not to feel what he speaks is as if he did not speak at all nay me thinks he should not speak it for it is words only only meer woords true we shall be judged and condemned too for words but sure I am it must be works not words shall justifie us by faith we are saved now faith without works is dead 't is not the knowing Servants but the doing ones that shall receive the recompence of reward and enter into the joy of their Lord and ever possess the Lord of their joy knowers and not doers shall be beaten with many stripes blessed are they that have seen and have believed but more blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed 17. The just shall live by saith not the faith of words â—o say only I believe in the Son of God in Jesus Christ whom he hath sent but of works to shew that he did believe by doing the works were Commanded him to do which is to fear God and keep his Commandments 18. But to feel what a maa speaks and to speak
how willing to unmind it altogether and to forget it for ever even for ever and for ever how sweetly Ah how sweetly doth it pass the time away when all its faculties are imployed and feasted in the contemplation of God his love goodness greatness mercy truth wisdom and Eternity how willingly Ah how willingly doth it shake off put away divorce and separate it self from all things of these things here below and doth the soul of the heart rejoyce when it is not molested with perturbations it doth at such a time as this forget these low things even all these high things here below as if he had never thought on them as if they were not nor had never been 133. Ah how is the heart at rest and quiet how calm how peaceable how joyful I know not how it is to set it forth as then it is when it is with God in God me thinks I know not where it is nor what it doth enjoy such is its blessed and blest condition as I know not nor am not able to set down what condition it is nor how blessed it is so blessed I know not what to call it nor how to set it forth in that loveliness in that blessedness that then it is blessed with if it then see any Object out of God besides God it sees it not if it hear any voyce or words it hears it not if it speaks yet as it were it speaks not if it walk it seems to its self as if it walk not as if it moved not if it stands still it seems not to know it for even all its sences and faculties are so much taken up and imployed as it well knows not or as it were cannot express about what it is imployed at least how it is imployed nor what it doth enjoy such and so great are its joys 134. And when Ah when it must leave this sweet study this Heavenly work this blessed imployment this profitable traffick this honourable business this glorious company these great joyes these pleasant pleasures and soul-satisfying satisfactions and converse again with the men of the world how Ah how irksome displeasant uncouth troublesome yea noysome and burdensome is every other thing every other word every other business every other matter or concernment of what concernment soever it be never Ah never any loss seemed to him so great never any man to his esteem and seeming fell from such a high condition to such a low condition how willingly Ah how willingly would he have his body in any Condition so that his mind were always imployed in minding this blessed and Heavenly most Heavenly and most blessed Condition Ah what words what thoughts what desires Ah what gaspings gapings longings hungrings and thirstings at sometimes and then presently Ah presently how is he filled and satisfied and yet knows not as it were with what nor how and this he calls a new birth and a new birth indeed it is for he is then all new and made another man within and without for he is in some measure as it were like God holy as he is holy and pure as he is pure for in sincerity he desires and aimes at holiness and purity even at pure holiness and to be without spot and wrinkle unblameable his life is as it were even hid with Christ in God Christ is his life all his life is to live in him with him for him and unto him it s the end of his aim and the aim of all his end to be his only his none but his always his that he may be ever his even and for ever to live that life and dye that death as may bring him most glory as may glorifie him most In Bourdeaux Anno 1658. 1. WE may enjoy the world and all the things of the world but we must not Ah we must not joy in them so as to make them our joy use them we may but abuse them in the use of them not we may not we may possess them but must not Ah we must not suffer them to possess us esteem them good we may but our least good we must not Ah not our best good not our chief supream soveraign and only good for that is God only only God who is all good and all good only in Heaven nor earth there is none besides him 2. Seeking as well as finding knocking as well as opening asking as well as giving is Gods free gift for he freely giveth all things unto all that ask aright by faith in Jesus Christ and no good thing will he with-hold from those that love him that love his fear and fear his love 3. What is Hell but thy absence O Lord the absence of thy love and our living in and continuing in sin 4. And what O Lord and what is Heaven but thy love and thy presence O God the continual and everlasting enjoying of thy ever blessed and loving presence and our liberty and freedom from sin to sin no more but to praise thee ever and for ever and thee only O God and thee only adore 5. Grant me O Lord God this one thing this one thing only to enjoy thee and that I may always make thee my only joy and to sin no more willingly with my will either in thought word or deed but to live the life of the righteous to and for thine honour praise and glory 6. Whose sins the Lord forgives he forgets whom he hath pardoned he will save where he loves he lives and will ever live there in love those that are beloved shall be ever his beloved for he hath loved them ever and will love them ever 7. The fire of Gods Love are the fiery flames in which all his children desire to live for out of them they cannot live life is to them death yea much worse than any death and any death they would willingly Ah most willingly choose to live this life 8. Our fitting here for Heaven by sanctification which is holiness is an evident sure and certain token and sign that Heaven is fitted and prepared for us for as without holiness no man shall see God so being made holy he shall be sure to see God that is to possess him who is Heaven eternal life and happiness where holiness is there God is he dwelleth and maketh his continual abode where holiness abideth and dwelleth 9. O God my God from whom every good and perfect gift doth come give O give I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ unto me a holy heart according to thine own heart that it may be thine and that thou mayest delight in it to make it thy delight and be pleased to live in it here until thou shalt bring me to live with thee and in thee and to thee and for thee for ever and ever 10. What a stinking Carrion is man Ah what a most deformable thing is man when God is not with him nor in him so much an Enemy he is to himself
God my God is so good he is so good and so delightfull as he is now become my whole and my sole delight 78. Ah if it could be ever thus with me I am sure I should never want any of these things that the flesh craves not bread to feed me not drink to refresh me not cloaths to cover me having and possessing the things above and could they Ah and could they always be possest I think none but mad men and fools will dare say that we want any of the things below though we should want them all As to me I am sure I should not find any want if I could be always as I have been sometimes 79. But O Lord I praise thee O Lord I mightily prize and praise thee that I am content with thy will that is yet to live in this Bacca in this Wilderness and in this Valley of Tears as long as thou wilt yea I am so content that I pray heartily with my whole heart Let thy will be done on me wholly as thou wilt and not as I will or would I desire to be only only to be what thou wilt have me to be thine O Lord thine and not my will be done until thy Kingdom come Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 80. To have all things and not to have God sure is to have nothing sure to possess all things and not to possess God is to possess nothing all things besides God are vanity foolishness nothingness will flye from us and leave us for ever even then and when we have most need of help succour and defence but God will leave us never If we be his he will surely stand by us defâ—nd us assist us and give us all that we shall stand in need of yea much above what we can ask or think 81. The very least mercy or blessing either on body or soul which I have received from God deserves much more praise by much than I am able to give unto God though I should continually praise him and live continually to his praise for what am I poor despicable I that I should receive any thing from the hand of God! But ah how much less then from the heart of God in love 82. I know O Lord God that thou hast regard to my feebleness to make me strong to my poverty despicable poverty to make me rich for ever to my nakedness to cover me with thy most glorious Robes to my emptiness to fill me with thy blessed most blessed self to my uncleanness and filthiness to wash me white and to make me clean to my uncomliness to make me comly to my ugliness to make me lovely to my wretchedness and misery to make me honourable and blessed and to my nothingness to give me all things for ever and for ever So be it Lord so be it 83. Who can ah who can measure the earth fathom the sea and coÌ„unt the stars in heaven and yet how much more unable and hard is it to measure to comprehend and understand the height the depth the length and the breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 84. His goodness is as his greatness incomprehensibly great 85. Thy presence O God thy presence makes all things that are bitter sweet and thy absence makes all sweet things bitter 86. O God thou givest such gifts to men that they can see even here in the flesh by the eye of faith that which thou hast prepared for them in heaven that Christ and all his graces and righteousness is theirs that heaven and eternal life and glory is theirs for ever and for ever that their sins are all pardoned and done away as if they had never been they see all that is to come as if it were already come unto them they have already as it were what they shall have hereafter even all those joyes riches and pleasures that are in God and therefore they rejoyce even here with unspeakable joy 87. Faith causeth us to read in that Book that is sealed up our names written there and our sins blotted out Faith carries us often up into Heaven even whilst we are here on Earth thus Faith can and thus Faith doth do all things 88. Heaven is Heaven O God because thou raignest See here in some little measure what Heaven is and what Hell is there and Hell is Hell because thou raignest not there Heaven is all good because that thou O God that art all good dwellest there and givest out continually of thy goodness to make them all good and like thy self that are there Hell is all evil because that thou O God that art all good art not there for Hell would not be Hell if thou wert there O God in love it is thy presence that maketh Heaven Heaven and it is thy absence that Hell is Hell Heaven is filled with thy smiles therefore it is Heaven Hell is filled with thy frown and therefore ah therefore it is Hell Heaven is filled with thy love and therefore it is lovely Hell is filled with thy hatred and therefore it is hateful Heaven is free of and from all sin and therefore it is Heaven Hell is full of all sin and therefore ah therefore it is Hell Heaven possesseth O God the light that glorious light of thy most glorious countenance and therefore it is such a most glorious light as cannot be comprehended with darkness but Hell is altogether dispossess'd of thee O God who art this light of Heaven and therefore it is all darkness even black thick darkness Heaven hath always thee O God who art not only holy but holiness who art not only wise but wisdom it self who art not only powerful but power it self who hast not only all things but art all things and therefore Heaven is such a Heaven as it is but Hell hath thee not wherefore it is all sinful wretched and miserable Heaven is Heaven in Heaven yea such a blessed Heaven as it is because thou hast O God blessed it and Hell is cursed yea cursed as it is because thou hast cursed it from thine eternal ever blessed presence They are blessed and shall be ever blessed that are in Heaven because they shall ever live with thee and possess thee O God the God and giver of all blessedness and they are cursed and shall be ever cursed that are in Hell because they live not in thee possess thee not and are not possessed by thee 89. Ah Lord God that art this Heavenly Heaven this light this glory this transcendant incomprehensible glorious light this blessedness this full whole entire compleat and perfect blessedness of all the blessed in glory this holiness this love this most lovely holiness Give me I most humbly beseech thee and unto all thine such a measure of thine infinite grace that we may even here sink into thee and be swallowed up by thee receiving continually grace for grace and be always altogether fully filled
contents me 152. Thy presence O God thy presence thy presence is much more esteemed by me by much than life and sweeter ten thousand times ten thousand than the Honey-comb of any pleasure more desirable than the finest Gold or most precious Pearls and to be preferr'd above many Rivers of Wine and Oyl 153. Heap upon me O Lord I beseech thee heaps upon heaps of these thy favours and cause these thine overflowings to cover the banks of my barrenness and filthiness that I may be comely and pleasant in thy sight and esteem 154. Fill me O Lord I beseech thee so full as that I never grow empty again of thy grace and goodness of obedience and love 155. Warm me so that I never grow cold again but let this heat of the fire of thy love burn and consume all the cold Winter frost of the weeds and roots of sin and Corruption that my soul may be as a pleasant garden for thee O Lord my King and my God to take pleasure in 156. Thou hast O God thou hast thou hast in a very great measure Turn'd the Mountains of my sins into a Valley of pleasure 157. God is my God and therefore he will be my God always so whatever temptations fall on me I will not fear them for God who is my God is stronger than all and his love is above all either in Heaven above or on Earth or Hell below 158. He that truly loves all good must truly hate all evil for love to good produceth always in all hatred to evil for there is a contrary to every thing as light is contrary to darkness therefore loving the one good we must and can do no other than hate the other which is the contrary evil 159. Having our eyes opened our understandings enlightned we then see sin in its colours as it is in it self sinful and therefore we must hate it and we can then do no other but hate it with a perfect which is sincere hatred not only leave all sin but heartily unfeignedly sincerely and with our whole hearts hate all sin and loath all sin being changed and brought out of darkness which is from sin into the marvelous light of the knowledge of the love of God we cannot being cloathed with his nature loving what he loves Holiness and Righteousness but hate what he hates which is all sin and wickedness having put Christ Jesus on we must put the other off the world flesh and Devil and all their works sticking to Christ and holding him fast we must and will and can do no other still than let go our hold to all things out of him and besides him for according as our love is to the one so our hatred will be nay is to the other they being contraries and opposite one unto another 160. He that truly loves the ways of God which is Righteousness must doth and can do no other than hate the ways of the Devil which is sin we cannot serve two such Masters it is impossible to love two such Contraries 161. By our true sincere and unfeigned hatred to the one we may see and be sure of our unfeigned sincere and true love to the other and if we thus love truly all good we love God truly which ought and should assure us that we are beloved of God yea that we are his beloved through Jesus Christ the truly beloved whom he doth and ever will love truly and us in him for his love is not yea and nay unto us but yea and in Christ yea and Amen 162. He that hath thee O God hath all and therefore he that wants thee wants all though he wants nothing else at all 163. He that possesseth thee O God possesseth surely the best possession that is or can be possest 164. He that knows thee O God hath perfect knowledge for none doth or can know thee but from and by thy holy spirit of true wisdom and knowledge all knowledge and wisdom else to this is meer foolishness 165. When we are in thee O God we are truly free free from all evil and filled with all good for all good is in thee and comes freely from thee as the Rivers from the Sea 166. Wash me make me clean O God in and by Christ that I may be pure in thy fight even as gold well refined without any dross or mixture perfectly pure pure in perfection 167. By giving we receive that is when our hearts are drawn forth sincerely to give what God hath given us I mean of spirituals God gives us what we would have yea and much above what we did ask or could think 168. When thus we beg for others to have that we may have to give Ah how good gracious and bountiful is the Lord unto us in giving of us according to our hearts desires even the very desires of our hearts 169. When thus we desire grace to impart it unto others how agreeable unto God are our desires how Ah how doth he regard us and reward us 170. When thus we are beggers for others God maketh us rich with the treasures of Heaven with that true riches which will make us rich for ever which is grace here and glory hereafter 171. When thus we mind others good and welfare as our own making their case ours sympathising with them both in their good and evil in their present and future happiness then we shew forth that we live in God and that God liveth in us for where true love is God is for love is God and God is love 172. When we feel want in our Brethrens wants and are filled with what they are filled bearing their burthens of grief and sorrow with them it shews that we are of one heart and of one mind that we are Brethren if we have thus compassion one of another 173. And when we make their joys our joys it shews plainly that there is one spirit in us even the spirit of the love of God which is Christ Jesus our Lord who leadeth us in his paths and teacheth us to practise what he hath commanded us and his Children we are whom we obey whether of sin unto death or of Righteousness unto life By their works ye shall know as God who are his 174. When thus we are unto others what we are unto our selves it sheweth plainly that we are members of Christs mystical body and that he is our head 175. When thus we agree and sympathise in one anothers honour and dishonour sorrows and joys we shew forth that we are not two but one and this oneness sheweth also that we are one in Christ that he liveth in us and that we live in him that he is ours and that we are his 176. And when Christ thus owneth us for his own we may be sure that when he cometh at his second and sudden coming in glory we shall also appear with him and be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious 177. He
nothing in comparison oâ— thee but all things in subordination to thee 24. I love affliction because in it I saw thee in me and my self in thee 25. I love affliction because by it I saw that thou didst love me 26. I love affliction because it taught me to love thy Statutes to choose them imbrace them and delight in them 27. And I will love affliction because it will keep me in the ways of thy Statutes 28. I love afflictions because they are lovely and sent from thee the God of Love to me in Love 29. I love afflictions because thou hast sanctified them to me and me by them 30. I love affliction because since that I was deeply afflicted for sins I have not been afflicted with sins triumph nor with reign 31. I love afflictions because thou hast made them O God unto me lovely 32. I love afflictions because thou hast ever sweetned them unto me by Sanctification 33. I love afflictions because by them â—hou hast taught me how to bear afflictions 34. I love afflictions because by them â—hou hast taught me how to afflict my self â—hat is my flesh for sins afflictions 35. O my God give me what afflictions â—hou wilt so by them thou suffer me not to â—fflict thee who I know never took'st pleasure to afflict me 36. If I had not known afflictions meâ—hinks I had never sought to learn to know â—hee nor thy knowledge 37. If I had not been undone I may justly â—ear I had been for ever undone 38. Give me O Lord as many sanctified afflictions as thou pleasest for then in the midst of them I am sure I shall please thee 39. O Lord suffer not any affliction to afflict me with murmurings or repinings which I am sure will afflict thee 40. I desire ever to praise thee O Lord â—or that I never had affliction in the flesh to â—y remembrance but it brought me comâ—ort in the Spirit 41. So that I may say through grace â—y afflictions have been my best and choicest â—enedictions 42. So esteeming them give me O Lord his grace to esteem them as tokens and â—gns of grace 43. O Lord make me ever thankfull fâ—â— all these thy afflictions which deserve much thanks 44. O Lord I heartily thank thee for thâ— thou hast made my heart such as it do truly thank thee for them 45. Give me grace O Lord to will thâ— Will and to submit to all thy Wills will 46. Ah Lord give me grace to knoâ— thy Will a will to learn to know thy gracâ— 47. Thy glory is my glories end thâ— end is my glories aim 48. I desire no other honour O Lord than to have the honour to be thy Servant 49. I will rejoyce in any Condition sâ— may be in the Condition of thy Servant 50. O Lord I am willing to do any woâ—â— so it may be thy work 51. Thy glory O Lord is my only loâ—ing my only joy delight desire aim and enâ— 52. O Lord let me never be ashamed do thy work though never so mean in eyes of Men let it be always beautifâ— honourable and glorious to my eyes heâ— will and affections 53. Give me Christ O God on any terâ— and conditions and I will confess them be honourable terms and conditions advâ—tagious and glorious 54. I had much rather haye Communâ— with Christ in a Dungeon than be adorned and ever possess all Solomon's outward glory in a Palace 55. Communion with Christ will I am sure make me content in all places and conditions 56. In Christ I am sure there is fulness of joy and all true peace and comfort though without any of all the worlds comforts 57. In Christ there is all pleasure though in the World frowns disgrace and displeasures 58. In Christ there is true light though in the World dark Dungeons 59. Thy smiles O Christ my Christ are my Heaven and thy frowns let me never know for I fear them as the worst of Hell 60. Let me enjoy that Heaven and I care not for all other Hells 61. Ah sweet Jesus let thy will be my will that my will may be always according to thy will 62. Let nothing O Lord satisfie me but my assurance of being in thee and thou in me 63. Let me always O Lord meditate on thy love and mercies in loving me 64. Ah suffer not any thing in this world of this world to content or delight me unless thou be in it my sweet Jesus 65. O Lord grant that as often as I do sin I may sigh and sorrow for sin and earnestly desire to sin no more 66. Grant that I may set all my affectionâ— and love on thee my dear Saviour and Soveraign Lord who art the Father's Glory the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 67. Grant O Lord who art my God and all my good that in all Conditions may abundantly rejoyce with true contentment and not at all to murmur or repine aâ— thy hand though heavy on me 68. Ah Lord be thou always all my thoughts all my joy and the only and alâ— the rejoycing of my heart 69. Grant that I may always love thee O my Lord more than my Life yea thaâ— the life that is the Salvation of my Soul 70. Grant O Lord that I may not so much by much labour for the joys oâ— Heaven to my self as to do thy will or earth in love only to thy self 71. Grant O Lord that all my solacâ— may be in uprightness of heart to serve thee 72. O Lord give me grace that whilst am on Earth I may labour to do thy will with my whole will as it is done in Heaven 73. Grant O Lord that I may every day yea all the day long have Communion with thee the Spirit of Grace my sole comforteâ— and only comfort 74. Grant that I may will nothing but thâ— will O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 75. I had rather have thy smiles in Hell my sweet and dear Jesus if it could be â—en thy frowns in Heaven 76. I had much rather if it could be be Hell and obey God then in Heaven and against him 77. O God give me I most humbly beâ—ech thee for Jesus Christ his sake those â—ings and those things only both for soul â—d body on earth that may prepare me â—d make me fittest for Heaven 78. I had much rather choose death â—en choose to sin 79. Though I cannot live without sin â—re yet whilst I live here suffer me not O â—od at any time to consent unto sin 80. I do believe that Christ Jesus is my Jeâ—â—s and my Christ and that he makes interâ—ssion for me every moment and ever will â—en to my very last moment 81. I had much rather enjoy affliction â—ith enjoying thee O my Saviour then all â—anner of prosperity if thou do'st not prosâ—r it 82. As long O God as thou givest me â—ead water and grace I will acknowledge â—t I have sufficient meat drink and rayâ—ent yea
that I fare deliciously and am â—ayed more gloriously then if I were with â—rple scarlet and fine linnen 83. To do thy work O God is the wagâ— I desire and which will and shall ever coâ—tent me 84. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thoâ— hast given me a heart to be willing to paâ— from all things most willingly so I mighâ— part from all sin also 85. Dispose of all things as thou wilt â— God do but only leave me thy self in poâ—session 86. All good thoughts come in love â— God from thee to me but woe me mâ—serable me for that all evil thoughts comâ— from my self in hatred to thee 87. Good Lord make my heart and aâ— my thoughts such that I may be only sucâ— and always such as thou would'st have nâ— to be 88. Do thou O Christ live and reign bâ— thy power and might in me that the mighâ— power and reign of Sin may be cast out me 89. Let not the things of the Worlâ— put thee O Lord out of my mind nor sâ— out of my heart to abhor it 90. Give me O Lord grace and powâ— to Conquer and cast out all worldly lusts aâ— affections out of my heart that there be place for thee and thee only to dwell iâ— my sweet Jesus 91. Grant O Lord that I may esteem the â—orlds gifts without thee my Sâ—viour as â—e Devils gifts that will destroy me 92. Grant O Lord that I may ever beâ—eve and esteem my best duties and perforâ—ances as from my self to deserve noâ—ing but shame and confusion being but as â—lthy rags and a menstrous cloath and â—at I am less and less worth at the best then â—e least of all thy mercies 93. Nothing but thy blood O Lord can â—ash me nothing but thy death could satisâ—ie for me nothing but thy resurrection can â—aise me and nothing but thy living can â—hake me live 94. Let thy blessed Ordinances O Lord be more delightfull to me then my meat and drink and sweeter to my tast then the hony â—nd the hony-comb let them much more please me then the pleasures of Egypt which â—re but for a season 95. I had much rather have nothing of â—he world and hate it then all the world â—nd love it 96. I had rather be the poorest in the world then the richest as for my own good and profit alone 97. I am more afraid of honour then of dishonour of riches then of poverty of high degree then of low degree of applause then of contempt or scorn of health the of sicknesâ— and of my life then of my death yet I know that God is all and in all these therefore I will fear neither for I know thaâ— that which he giveth is the best and I shaâ— profit best by it 98. Ah that I had so much grace as to bâ— always able to meditate on the love anâ— sweetness that is in my Saviour I woulâ— not leave that blessed condition of Communion with him one hour to gain all thaâ— the world hath to give 99. Surely If I could always think oâ— my Saviour I would willingly always thinâ— on him I would not only have him in aâ— my thoughts but I would have him be aâ— my thoughts 100. One moments Communion with thâ— Spirit of grace were to be preferr'd incomparably above all the pleasures and sweets oâ— sin though their end were not bitter buâ— sweet 101. I would willingly lose all that â— have of the world if so be I could lose the thoughts of it likewise 102. I would much rather have not any thing of the world and be not of the world then have all it hath and be of it 103. I cannot be poorer then to have the world and love it nor richer then to be without the world and hate it 104. Though I cannot remember what I â—ould yet I remember well I never did or I do not do what I would 105. I had rather say nothing then my â—wn words when I speak by Prayer or any â—ther way unto God 106. Oh blessed Spirit Sanctifie my â—houghts and my words when I take upon â—e to speak unto the People of God 107. Oh sweet Jesus present I most humbly beseech thee my prayers and my self unto thy Father that he may receive â—nd accept of both through thy merits â—nd mediation 108. O God my God give me grace so â—o live as I may be always ready willing â—nd rejoyce to dye let thy time be my time whether it be sleeping or waking on thy day or on ours whil'st I am doing thy work or mine own thy time and thy will â—e done O Lord not mine 109. O Lord let me never leave sighing â—or sin till I leave sinning 110. Let sin O Lord be much more bitter unto me after repentance then it was sweet before repentance 111. Let me O Lord esteem any death much sweeter then the bitter life of any sin though it live but a moment in me 112. Give me O Lord any afflictiâ— unless that which I cannot bear sin 113. Let me live so long here O Lorâ— till I am utterly dead to all sin and sin deâ— to me and then Lord take me to thy sâ— when thou wilt that I may live for ever thee and with thee 114. O Lord though thou give me pâ—verty and Contempt with the grace of coâ—tent I shall be as rich and as honourabâ— as I desire 115. Take my thoughts O Lord froâ— the World and then take the world froâ— me as soon as thou wilt 116. Give me O Lord so much grace love thee that it may extinguish all othâ— loves that are in me 117. Make me O Lord thy Servant aâ— let me know it and I will never desire nâ— ask any other Honour or Condition 118. I would much rather have Christ me and doubt it then not in me and bâ—lieve it rather such true sorrow then suâ— false joy 119. If Christ were not in Heaven would not desire to be there my desiâ— should be to be where Christ should be 120. Let me so love thee O Lord as may always fear thee and so fear thee â— I may ever unfeignedly love thee let theâ— â—wo graces be never sever'd from me nor I â—rom them 121. Let no sin keep me from thee but â—et every and all sins drive me unto thee for I know that thou art a God pardoning all Sins and Blasphemies all iniquities and transgressions of such as repent and resolve to do so no more and I know that thou art my God and Father in Jesus Christ 122. Love me then so O Lord my God I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ as to keep me unspotted that is from sinning against thee either in thought word or deed wittingly or willingly 123. Let thy Mercies O Lord my Lord and my good God so draw me and thy Judgments so drive me as I may never be at rest nor quiet until I come to have quiet rest between thy breasts my dear my sweet and saving
Jesus 124. Let me O Lord so think on the world as to hate it more and more until thou givest me so much grace so to hate it as to think on it no more 125. Let me not O Lord live so long as to desire to be younger to live longer 126. But let me rejoyce in my age for that I am nearer the death of Sin and the life of Eternal Glory 127. Make me O Lord not only such as I desire to be but such as thou woulâ— have me to be which is I trust to be â— with thee and in thee 128. I desire O Lord not only to what I would be but what I should be 129. It is in thee O Lord to give things for thou art all things therefore thee do I humbly beg all things 130. Let me not live one moment long after I have done the work of my Generaâ— on that is not live for my self but â— thee O Lord. 131. Let my will O Lord be only to â— thy will to will thy will and to submit thy wills will 132. Let me be wholly thine holy thinâ— only thine always thine and ever thinâ— here in thy Kingdom of Grace and hereaâ—ter in thy Kingdom of Glory 133. I had much rather have the punisâ—ment of Sin and not sin then the evil Sin and no Punishment 134. Ah how sweet is it to want thâ— worlds sweets and in its want to find nâ— want but even in want most to abound 235. O Lord thou knowest I desire no so much the world as to have my thoughtâ— and affections taken from the world 136. Could Heaven and Eternal life bâ— purchased for to choose and commit onâ— â—n willingly I would not purchase nor â—ave it on that condition but rather deâ—end on the love and mercy of God in Jeâ—s Christ 137. I am sure God is my God because â—e hath given me a heart to fear him in love â—nd to love him with fear and trembling to â—ejoyce in his Statutes to desire to do his â—ill universally and to depend and trust â—n his sure mercies and faithfull promise in â—esus Christ 138. I am sure God did ever love me â—ecause I am sure he doth now love me â—nd therefore I am sure he will ever love â—e for where he once loveth he ever loâ—eth and did ever love 139. I am sure God loveth me because â—e hath given me a heart to hate all sin uniâ—ersally with a sincere and perfect hatred â—oth in thought word and deed 140. I am sure God loveth me because â—e hath given me true conviction and sinâ—ere sound and unfeigned repentance from â—nd for all sin esteeming all exceeding sinâ—ll both the great and the small 141. I am sure God loveth me because â— delight in his ways and for that all my â—ongings and desires are to do all his will 142. I am sure God loveth me because find his Yoak easie and his burthen light 143. I am sure God loveth me becauâ— would not commit any Sin nor could Iâ— willingly to get his love if I doubted oâ— 144. I know and am sure that God lâ—eth me because that I do most heartily aâ— sincerely desire to love him a thousaâ— thousand times more then my own self 145. I know God loveth me becausâ— love him most for himself 146. I know God loveth me becausâ— desire nothing so much as to be his faithfuâ— humble and obedient Servant 147. I know God loveth me because love every man especially such as I belieâ— love him and because their conditions whâ— ever they be make none with me 148. I know God loveth me because love every mans Soul prosperity and haâ—piness as my own and their bodies moâ—then my own 149. I know God loveth me becauâ— those that have been and are still my Enâ—mies in the flesh I love both in the fleâ— and spirit 150. I know God loveth me because do sincerely pray for the Souls and Bodiâ— of those whom I have cause to believe thâ— they hate me 151. I know God loves me because â— hate nothing but what he hates which is sâ— 152. I know God loves me because he hath thus changed my heart from hatred to love and hath made me to hate what I loved and to love what I hated 153. I know God loves me because I love all things for his Glory all things in subordination to him who is all things 154. Ah sweet Jesus give me so much love to love thee here on earth as thou lovedst me when thou wert here for I cannot â—elfe love thee enough nor soon enough 155. Ah that I had ever loved thee and never loved sin 156. Ah Lord give me this great grace of love that I may forget all other love forsake all other love and hate all other love that shall in the least hinder my love to thee or lessen my loving of thee for my soul desireth only to love thee 157. Thou only art lovely Ah my sweet Jesus and my only beloved 158. O Lord my God let my love to thee increase as my life shall decrease 159. And as I draw nearer to thee let me O Lord find thee more lovely and more and more to love me 160. Let me so love thee O Lord my Lord as I may love thee only serve thee only fear thee only and bâ— delighted râ—vished and comforted in and with thy love 161. With thee O Lord I leave my sâ— as a token of my love Aâ— give me thinâ— and let us never change 162. The love O Lord I have for theeâ— confess I had from thee it being now in mâ— O let us both abide and let me dwell thee 163. Let it never be separated froâ— thee nor me but of two let us be made onâ— and never more be alone 164. My whole desire O Lord is to â— thy will it is to thee and to remember thâ— 165. O Lord lead me by thy holy anâ— blessed Spirit that I may never be led astraâ— 166. Let me not O Lord do any thing bâ— my self as for my self but all things by thâ— self and for thy self 167. Be thou always with me that I maâ— never be without thee O most holy anâ— blessed Spirit my Sanctifier that I may bâ— all and always sanctified 168. Let me love thee O Lord more foâ— thy Service sake then for my Souls sake 169. Let me desire and long for Heaveâ— more to do thy will then to have my willâ— 170. O Lord if thou wert not in Heaveâ— I would not desire Heaven but my desirâ— should be to be with thee 171. O Lord let the same desires be iâ— me whilst I am on earth as shall be in meâ— when I am in Heaven 172. The desire of my heart and soul Lord thou knowest is only to thee and â— thee and to be always guided by thee 173. Increase this holy desire in me O â—rd until my soul and body shall be filled â—th thy blessed fulness 174. O sweet Jesus dwell in me ever
â—d go not out of me never for when I â—ve thee Lord I have all that I desire â—d crave 175. I am most willing and ready to â—se my life to preserve thee O Lord but â—t to preserve my life to lose thee 176. O Lord what thou hast given me â—hich is all take when thou wilt and in â—hat manner thou wilt 177. Make O Lord thine own Conditions â—ith me I will make none with thee but â— obey thee and serve thee on thine own â—rms 178. Teach me O Lord to know my â—lf as thou knowest me and to hate my â—lf for Sin as thou lovedst me when I was â— my Sin 179. I desire to hate Sin as the Devil to â—ar Sin as Hell and to fly from Sin as from â—y wrath O great God 180. With thee I desire to leave and give â—y self O sweet Jesus receive me and acâ—ept of me 181 O Lord go with me where I anâ— go thaâ— I mâ—y be always with thee nâ— from â—hee nor do any thing without thâ— 182. O Lord let me only do what tâ— consentest unto 183. I fear Sin much more then the thor of Sin 184. Sin is my worst my greatest my strongest Enemy 185. Give me Grace and strength sweet Jesus to conquer Sin and I shall fear all other Enemies 186. Had I but one sin unforgiven thou should'st O Lord make me my â— Judge I should and could not do otâ— wise then condemn my self for ever â— Hell 187. I desire ever to magnifie laâ— praise and extol thy glorious name O Lâ— God for making Jesus Christ my Judgâ— whom thou hast appointed also to be my 〈…〉 vocate 188. Were I to choose I would choâ— no other for both 189. For sure I am I cannot lose â— cause if he plead it nor be condemn'd judging me who was judged and coâ—demn'd for me 190. He dyed for me and therefore shall not see that death 191. He hath paid my ransome and thereâ—re I must be acquitted 192. He hath suffered and therefore I all ever raign 193. He wore a Crown of Thorns that might ever wear a Crown of an Eternal â—d incomprehensible weight of Glory 194. He is risen and hath led Captivity â—aptive that I might be delivered for ever â—t of all Captivity 195. He is ascended up on high and â—erefore I am sure he will lift me up unto â—m 196. He is gone to prepare a place for â—e therefore I am sure I shall be for ever â—ell plac'd 197. He is sate down on the right hand â—f God and hath convinc'd and conquer'd â—ll my accusers and enemies therefore I â—hall in quiet rest and perfect peace sit â—own with him and by him 198. He hath all power and Authority â—iven him by God therefore I am sure no â—ower shall or can hurt me 199. He hath provided a place for all his Children and Servants therefore I will not â—e afraid nor fear 200. He hath promised and he is faithfull therefore I will believe and not doubt but rejoyce 201. O Lord let me fear nothing but â— nor love nothing but thy â—ear 202. My love O Lord to thee is suâ— thy love to me 203. O Lord put the vail of thy feaâ— fore my eyes and my heart that I â— not sin against thee by neither 204. Ah Lord God suffer me nâ— more to doubt of thy love seeing thou â— so freely and willingly given the Son of love even thy dear only eldest natuâ— and beloved Son Jesus Christ to dye me and in my place and stead 205. Ah sweet Jesus Be thou pleased to take up thy aboad in my heart and dwell there as I may always find thâ— there to comfort me and to direct â— how to walk well pleasing unto thee â— me always hear thee speaking to me hoâ— I shall do every thing I take in hand to dâ— so that all my thoughts words and deed may tend only to thy honour and glory tâ— Credit of the Gospel the good of otherâ— and the eternal Salvation of mine own Soâ— 206. Ah Lord give me grace in all â—flictions to consider that it 's much less the I deserve and that thou mightest justly haâ— sent them on me sooner 207. Hell O Lord I confess is only mâ— desert what less thou givest me is moâ— â—n I have or can deserve and less punishâ—nt then the least of my Sins hath deserved 208. Therefore in all Conditions I desire â—less thy name and to praise thee with a â—nkfull contented and rejoycing heart 209. Let O Lord all thy afflictions teach and tell me that thou art mindfull of â— and that they are friendly yea Father-Visitations and Tokens of thy Fatherly â—e love in Jesus Christ 210. O Lord suffer me not to sell my â—tion in Heaven for any Portion of earth earth the Honours Riches or Pleasures â—ereof 211. Let even this Portion thy service â—d work O God be preferred by me and dearer to me then all things of this world 212. A Christian once in Christ united him cannot be taken out of him no more â—n the same water cast into the Sea can taken out again for he is become a part Christ even as the drops that fall into â—e Sea are forthwith a part thereof 213. Seeing then thou hast made me one â—th thee received me a little drop into â—y self the Ocean of Blessedness and of goodness happiness and felicity My â—eet Jesus I am sure I shall never be sepaâ—ted from thee 214. Let me O God so live the remainder of all my life here on earth as that â— mayest not be ashamed to be called my â— and to give me eternal life hereafter in â—ven 215. O sweet glorious and glorifieâ— sus inhabiting Eternity from all Eterâ— look not on me as I am in my self witâ— thee but as one in thee even as a mâ—ber of thy blessed self 216. Love me O Lord God â— thine own love even with that love iâ— sus Christ wherewith thou lovest thine â— 217. When O Lord I have thee thâ— alone I have what I desire yea and all I desire for thou art all and the only sire of all my desires 218. Give me O Lord thy self thoâ— without any thing else and I will never thee any thing else 219. But though thou dost O God â— me all things else and not thy self I â— account it even as nothing 220. Having thee alone My dear Jeâ— I have all things and having not theâ— have nothing that I truly love 221. Give me then thy self and â— shall content me but unless thou dost â— me thy self I am resolved never to be â—tented 222. Give me then so thy self O Lâ— â—o art my Delight as I may do all things â— thee and nothing at all without thee 223. Give me so thy blessed self as I may â—ays enjoy thee beholding thy glorious â—e and the light of thy blessed Counteâ—ce and may hear thy most sweet and â—mfortable voice to comfort revive â—d refresh me 224. Be thou O
saving Ark of Rest which shall â—or ever cause me to float and swim above all the storms and tempests of sin and Satan â— grant O Lord that having past the timâ— my Pilgrimage here in thy fear I may dye in favour unite me O Lord I most humbly seech thee so nigh unto thy self that I may made bone of thy bone and flesh of thy fleâ— make me a member of thy Mysticall body hâ— that I may be for ever a member of thy gâ—rious body hereafter Ah Lord God in Jesus Christ I beseech â— to sanctifie all afflictions and Temptations â— me and lay no more upon me at any time in â—dy or mind then thou shalt in thy goodnâ— and for thy glory inable me to bear and tâ— not thy holy and blessed spirit the Sanctifier â— the Comforter from me be thou my help want my strength in weakness my joy sorrow my comfort in grief my riches in verty my palace in Prison my home in â—nishment my health in sickness and my life death let my blessedness in thee O Lord câ—me to see my cursedness out of thee let thy â—verflowing fulness cause me to see my emptinâ— thy beauty my ugly deformity thy light darkness thy glory my ignominy thy riches â— poverty thy obedience my disobedience thy pâ—fection my imperfection thy holiness my unâ—liness thy glory my shame thy wisdom my foâ— thy strength my weakness thy goodness â— badness thy Heaven of happiness and blessednâ— Hell of unhappiness and wretchedness thy things my nothing Ah sweet Jesus that camest down from Heaâ—n on Earth to lift me up from Earth to Heaâ—n thou took'st my nature on thee to make me â—taker of thine own holy blessed and divine â—ture thou becamest the Son of Man to make â— the Son of God thou becam'st O Lord my â—ra an Heir of Misery to make me an Heir of â—ercy yea Co-heir with thy self of Heavens â—eat glory and eternal Happiness Felicity and â—lessedness which is thy Father Self and holy â—rit three Persons but one God thou wert sweet Jesus Lamb of God Son of God â—ade a Curse that I might be made a Blessing â—ou wouldst dye once that I might likewise dye â—t once and then live with thee for ever and â—r ever thou didst O King of Glory wear a â—rown of Thorns that I might wear a Crown â— Glory thou wert lifted up on the Cross to â—t me up unto thee thine arms nayl'd abroad â— shew how willing thou wert to embrace me â—y feet nail'd together to shew thy willingâ—ess never to go from me thy head hangâ—g down to shew thy willingness to kiss me â—ith the kisses of thy mouth of thy love for â—ver thy heart opened with a Spear even to â—t me in there thus did'st thou shew by the Crown of Thorns on thy head the height of thy love by the nayling of thy feet the leiâ— of thy love by the spreading abroad of thy aâ— the breadth of thy love and by the openinâ— thy side the shedding of thy hearts blood depth of thy love O blessed God O most â—sed love there is no God like unto thee nor there ever love like unto this thy love â— did'st O Christ thou did'st suffer thy Faâ—â— frowns that I might have his smiles thou diâ— O Christ thou did'st drink up the dregs of Father's wrath even Vinegar mingled â— Gall that I might sweetly solace my self drinking to thee the bottomless bottom of endless love thou did'st O Christ my Saviâ— thou did'st bear all my sins that I might â—pear without sin thou didst O Christ my deemer thou did'st shed all thy heart blood wash me from the filthiness of my own blâ— and from the guilt of this thy blood-sheddiâ— thou hadst O Christ thou hadst thy Fâ— much more glorious than the Sun defaced â— spittle that mine might shine even as thâ— gloriously in glory though not so gloriously glâ—ous thou hadst O Christ thou hadst thy bâ— whipped that by thy stripes I might be healâ— thou wert O Christ thou wert thus wounâ— that by thy deadly wounds I might be â— Cured O love infinite and incomprehensible â—yond degree an offended God dies to set offâ—ing man free Ah Love that surpasseth all understanding ah â—odness that surpasseth all love that wert in love â—ercy and goodness pleased to do this for me not â—hen I was a friend but an enemy not when I â—as in Covenant with thee but when I was â—t of Covenant not when I loved thee but â—hen I hated thee not when I was lovely but â—veless not when I was holy but unholy not â—hen I desired it but when I desired it not not for â—king it but when I askt it not not for having â—ne any thing for thee but even then when I â—d all that I could against thee not when I â—as thy Servant but a Servant of the Devils â—d all this O God my God that thou didâ—st â—as not for thy advantage but for mine not â—r thy good but for mine not for thy honour but â—r mine not for thy glory but to bring me to â—ory and all this thou did'st looking for noâ—ing again thou lovest me only because thou â—ould'st love me Ah height length depth and â—eadth of love that an offended God should â—e and woe and pray and pay and promise â—nd give and dye and live to reconcile inâ—ch honour magnifie and exalt offending â—an poor despicable man vile wretched â—orthless man nothing man that can be fitly â—mpared to nothing but to nothing less than â—e drop of a bucket or the dust of the balâ—ance O Lord let these thy wonders of mercies and wonderfull compassions cause me ever to adâ— and adore thy love and kindness thy kind loâ— thy goodness and thy greatness and to cry â— Lord what is man that thou art so minâ— of him and the Son of man that thou so gardest him as to visit him to magnifie hâ— to dwell in him to delight in him to mâ— him thy delight to set thy heart upon him to him good even according to all the good tâ— is in thy heart having prepared for him Kingdom which cannot be shaken a Kingâ— of Glory an eternal and incomprehenâ— weight of glory where is joy all joy unspeâ—able joy and Rivers of pleasures for ever moâ— where is no right but all is day yea the Lâ— himself is the lâ—ght thereof where is no grâ—nor sorrow nor care nor fear but all teâ— shall be wiped away and there shall be no mâ— sorrow nor sighing but all joys and singâ— of praises and Hillelujahs with the Angâ—ls â— Saints beholding the Lord of glory yea â— glory of the Lord seeing him face to face he is and knowing him as he is to be know there is no Canaanite in that Heavenly Countrâ— no Cain to kill no Sodomite to vex no Ishmâ—elite to scoff no Esau to terrifie no Shimei curse no Herod to persecute no Rabshekeâ— to rail no Judas to betray this Heaven is â—bove all Molestations and
wilt I willingly would and willingly would nothing but what thou wilt 69. I had rather do thy will O my God on earth for thy self and thy sake then be in Heaven for my own self and my own sake thy service is dearer to me then my soul 70. I had much rather do the least work for God then have the greatest good and benefit for my self 71. Whatsoever O Lord thou wilt have me to be do and suffer that I willingly would be and long to do and suffer and to have and no other 72. Wilt thou O Lord have me poor afflicted persecuted banisht evil spoken of tormented tempted all these Lord and what else thou wilt so thou come with them I shall rejoyce in them and most willingly receive them 73. It is not Lord what I desire only buâ— what thou hast ordained that I only desire 74. I know and am assured that thou wilt O Lord sooner cast the earth into the Sea and remove the Heavens then take any of thy love from those whom thou lovest 75. For seeing sin cannot nor shall not separate us Lord what shall what can 76. It is fixt on thy own love O Father in Jesus Christ thy Son most lovely and therefore unchangâ—able unmoveable 77. It is from thy great Love O my God that I find thee lovely but thy love is greater for that I love thee and yet more great that I love thee only but more great then all it is that thou hast ever loved and wilt ever love me 78. Ah love that passeth all degree the offended dyes to set the offenders free 79. It is thy mercy O God that I am not past mercy that I contemn not mercy that I know mercy that I value mercy that I prize mercy that I seek mercy that I hope for mercy am assured of mercy and that I desire the same mercies for all others that are not past mercy 80. To will thy will O God is to do thy will when we would as willingly do it be it what it will as we will it 81. To serve thee best and most or to do thee O God most and best service is in most submitting to thy will be it what it will 82. It is not the work of the hand or of the head but of the heart that is according to thy heart and most delighteth thy heart O my God the maker and the giver of all good hearts 83. To wait is better then to work if thou shewest us not what work is thy work and what work we shall do 84. Let me not O God ever ask any other condition than my present condition and always submit to thy will in my condition as often as thou shalt change my condition and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best 85. And let chearfulness witness my contentedness and my contentedness be shown by my chearfulness 86. Ah Lord my Lord if thou did'st not at times afflict me how often should I Ah how often should I afflict thee 87. But I mightily desire to magnifie and praise thee O my God for that I find when affliction comes on me thou comest with it and dost always abundantly comfort me yea my greatest comforts have been when thou seemest as if thou would'st afflict me that is even in affliction 88. If affliction should go from me I fear I should go from all good which is from God 89. Afflict me O Lord so much as thou wilt and so often as thou pleasest so that in it I afflict not thee 90. In affliction I fear but out of affliction Ah Lord I confess I am careless Ah too too careless 91. Affliction makes me O Lord to run to thee to cry aloud after thee and to importune thee for thy presence but out of affliction I go softly I speak softly and know not how to beg with importunity 92. If the outward Man receive such joy and delight in the Creature and by conversing with them Ah what joy delight and ravishment doth the inward Man receive having Communion with God and enjoying his dear Creator 93. If earth and the things below be able to satisfie any surely surely Heaven and the things above shall be able and will satisfie all for every one there shall enjoy God who is all and in all 94. Seeing Heaven on Earth is so sweet Ah how sweet is Heaven in Heaven or the Heaven of Heaven which is our God 94. And seeing Heavens joys are so great on earth Ah how greatly great are they in Heaven 96. Ah sweet most ravishing sweet Jesus let me enjoy them so here that I may long to be dissolved and to be in Heaven to enjoy them there Ah to enjoy thee thee there 97. Seeing one drop or â—ast of them is so delitious Ah how deliciously and delightfully are they fed that feed on them continually and shall feed on them for ever and ever 98. Grant O my God that sins sweets be to me bitter and Heavens bitter be to me sweet and that I may always prefer Heavens bitterest to sins sweetest and never to find any sweet in the sweets of Sin 99. I had rather see Christ with spiritual eyes then in the flesh with the eyes of the flesh and to have him in my heart then in my arms 100. Christ only can make us spiritually hungry and he only can feed us with the bread of life from him we have our spiritual thirsting and he he only can give us to drink of those living waters the fountain of life being in him only 101. Were there as many worlds to be offered me as there would be minutes from Eternity to Eternity I would not nay praised be God I could not give my hope and my interest in my Jesus to enjoy all their riches honours and pleasures unto all Eternity 102. For by how much is he above all things and more worth then all things by so much yea by so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for all things to God can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 103. For God is all things and I am sure of him and therefore I have all things sure 104. He that believes in Christ loves him and he that loves him fears him and he that fears him obeys him and he that loves fears obeys and believes in him must and will walk as he walked 105. We can both will and do our own wills which are evil but we can neither will nor do thy will O God which is all and only good 106. Give me then grace O God the God and giver of all grace to deny my own will to hate and forsake my own will that I wholly and perfectly do thy perfect and holy will 107. Let me then O God my God so will to do as I may only do thy will for my whole will is that thy holy will be done on me and in me that I may do thy will here on
wretchedness emptiness and nothingness how then O Lord am I able to know thee or to consider thee as thou art in thy self and how much thy goodness exceeds my badness thy wisdom my folly thy strength my weakness thy fulness my emptiness thine Almightiness my nothingness and yet how content am I though nothing or less worth then nothing yea to be turned even into nothing for thy sake But seeing O Lord thou hast in thy great goodness love and mercy made me thine make me now O Lord even what thou wilt and sent me whether thou wilt I am ready and willing to go and be and do and suffer yea to spend and to be spent for thee for thou knowest O Lord God if I desire to live it is to live to thee in thee and for thee to praise thee and for thy praise for to praise thee is to live and this to do only is the only desire I have to live for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave thy presence being my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell having thee O Lord I have my all but wanting thee I want all that I would have thou only art able to content to satisfie and to please me but nothing but thee nothing out of thee nothing besides thee O my God yea all things besides thee cannot give me any true pleasure delight or contentment O give me then so thy self my sweet Jesus as I may be always with thee never without thee that I may wholly give up my self unto thee to be more holy like unto thee that my heart may be according to thine own heart and that thou may'st delight thine heart O Lord to set thine heart upon me and to make me thy delight thy joy and thy Crown of glory and to love me and to do me good even with that goodness of heart with thine own goodness wherewith thou lovest thine own that my will may in all things be conformable and made subject to thy will to will all that thou willest willingly and to nill all that thou nillest with the same willing will And grant O Lord that mine eyes may be always open to behold thee mine ears to hear thee my mouth to praise thee mine arms to imbrace thee my feet to run after thee and my heart heartily to love honour fear and adore thee so that all my members and faculties both in soul and body may be as instruments only to act thy motions that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee who art all love and only lovely my dear my sweet and saving Saviour Jesus Ah Lord God make me willing to give my self up unto the that did'st so willingly give up thy self for me and to be made like unto me that I might be made like unto thee thou rejoyced'st O Lord to come down from Heaven on Earth to lift me up from Earth into Heaven to live a mortal life on Earth that I might live an immortal life in Heaven to dye on Earth to free me from Eternal death and to give me Eternal life thou wert O Lord made subject to all infirmities on Earth to confirm and make me for ever free from them in Heaven seeing then thou wert O Lord willing to come to me in blood even through thine own blood to wash me out of my blood and to make me for ever clean Ah Lord wash not my hands and my feet only but my head and my heart out also even my bloody heart that hath delighted so much and so often to make thy innocent heart to bleed yea to shed the last drop of blood that was in thy heart Thou would'st O Christ thou would'st wear an ignominious Crown of Thornes here on earth that I might wear a glorious Crown of Glory hereafter in Heaven thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be whip'd that thy stripes might heal me thou would'st thou would'st O Christ be bound to loose me and set me free thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be accurst that I might be for ever blest thou would'st O Christ thou would'st have thine arms nail'd abroad to shew the breadth of thy love thy feet nail'd to shew the length of thy love and thy head pierst with Thorns to shew the height of thy love and thy heart opened with a spear to shew the depth of thy love Ah breadth length height and depth of love that such a God would be thus wounded to heal such a man as I am thus accurst to make me blest thus bound to make me free thus made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streams and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternal pains and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joys he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unabillity and my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee nor can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me then O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to believe in thee to depend on thee and to rowl my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already owe thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe the more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expecteth only an acknowledgement that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedom Lord Ah Lord the freedom all the freedom all the freedom that I desire is to be thy
grace that thou dost intend to marry unto thy self hereafter in glory 167. Ah Lord I confess it is not my study nor my care nor yet my careful study nor my studious care that teacheth me wisdom so as to know thee or to learn what thou knowest but it is thy self O Lord it is thy self that givest me that wisdom to know thy self and learning to know what thou knowest for who but thy self hath that wisdom to know thy self or learning in himself from himself to learn what thou O Lord God knowest 168. Ah teach me then so O my good God that art Israel's teacher that I may tell henceforth Devil World and Flesh that I will no more be taught by them nor follow their teachings 169. I know O Lord I know that the teachings of men no nor all mens teachings are not able to teach me to know any good but I know that thy teachings O God are able to teach me all good and how to do all good 170. I will rejoyce therefore in what my God can do because he can and therefore I know assuredly that he will do all the things for me that shall be for my good 171. And therefore I will not fear what men can do against me no nor Devils neither for they all can do nothing at all that can hurt me 172. But all my fear shall always be to fear thee O Lord who art my Lord and my fear for to fear thee truly bringeth me true joy yea unspeakable joy 173. For to fear thee as we ought to fear thee is to keep thy Commandments to keep thy Commandments with fear is the whole duty of man 174. Ah Lord God I know that thou dost not hear us for our words sake because they are but the words of men nor for our work sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake O Lord I know that thou dost only hear us 175. Ah Lord my Lord my God and my all and my only good Let me always so speak unto thee by thee as thou mayest always hear me and so hear thee as I may always love and fear thee yea make thee all my fear and my love 176. The Spirit of the Lord or the fruits of the Lord's Spirit is love joy peace long-suffering gentleness goodness faith meekness temperance lowliness of mind humble patient bountiful and rich in good works forgiving and forgetting all injuries and wrongs beareth reproaches and scandals rejoycingly doth hurt nor violence to no man escheweth all evil and followeth hard after all good with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life serving the Lord constantly frequently circumspectly obediently willingly chearfully rejoycingly and preseveringly hath peace with all men loveth all men with brotherly kindness and doth all good possible to all men especially unto those that are of the household of Faith 177. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord he is faithful and valiant for the Lord fighting his battels couragiously cheerfully gladly rejoycingly and preseveringly unto his lives end he doth not his work negligently nor slothfully but diligently and willingly for his work is his delight his meat and drink yea his Heaven on Earth is to do his Lords will on Earth as it is done in Heaven he desireth no other wages for his work than his work he would continually do his work for his works sake for his yoak is easie to him and his burthen light 178. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord abiding in him he is no tale-bearer tatler or busie body he medleth not in other mens matters condemneth no man hateth no man wrongeth no man doth violence to no man speaketh evil of no man thinketh evil of no man but always worst of himself 179. He that dwelleth with God's Spirit dwelleth quietly and peaceably because all things are to him all alike for he knoweth that all things come from God his God that his Providence ordereth all things and therefore he knoweth that all things shall always work altogether for his good yea his very sins which God hateth and only hateth and which he himself hateth above all things and more than all things yet these are not for his worse but for his better and for the increase of his joy comfort and rejoycing in the Lord who bringeth him out of darkness into light and turneth his evil into good for God is now become his God and his Father and loveth him as his Son and therefore will not see his iniquities nor transgressions but passeth by all his sins looking on him not as a pardoned sinner but as a son that never sinned God seeth his best but will not see his worst his good but not his evil his love to him and for him but not his hatred against him God so delighteth in him that all that he doth and doth not delighteth him because he knoweth the thoughts of his heart and desires of his Soul towards him and for him therefore he esteemeth taketh and accepteth of what he would do as if he did what he should do 180. He that hath the Spirit of God in him is made holy he sinneth no more he is sanctified throughout in Spirit Soul and Body his Heart Will and Affections serve the Lord always though with his flesh he serves the Law of sin yet with his mind he serves the Law of God he hateth all the evil which he doth and loveth all the good which he doth not so as sin yea all sin is become unto him so exceeding sinfull as he would not sin either in thought word or deed to have grace abound in him no nor glory neither it is no longer therefore he that sinneth but sin that dwelleth in him for he hateth all sin with a perfect hatred and he so loveth holiness and righteousness as he longeth after it he seeketh for it as for silver and searcheth for it as for hid treasures it is become his whole and only end and aim he hath no other ambition he coveteth nothing else he desireth much grace that he may give God much glory daily grace that he may give him daily glory continually grace that he may give him continually glory 181. He that hath this Spirit of God in him is led in the ways of all truth and holiness which is everlasting life and happiness and he hath overcome the World and that wicked one he is departed from all iniquity in thought word and deed he hath crucified the world with all its lusts and affections and the world is crucified unto him he seeketh no longer to please the flesh by satisfying the lusts and affections thereof he serveth not God for the loaves only but he seeketh more after Heaven for God than God for Heaven for to honour obey please and serve him is Heaven to him 182. This Spirit helpeth his infirmities teacheth him heavenly
Wisdom so as to know what the mind and will of God is and to discern the great mysteries of his Salvation and to know God in the Spirit 183. This Spirit assureth him of his Eternal Election being the Divine and Eternal purpose of God by Jesus Christ we have an access by one Spirit unto the Father 184. This Spirit witnesseth unto him that hath it his effectual Calling his Adoption Justification Sanctification and Glorification and makes him to cry Abba Father and to come boldly unto his glorious Throne of grace and gracious Throne of glory and to say with Thomas my Lord and my God and with Paul I know whom I have believed and whom I love and therefore saith boldly as Peter Lord thou knowest that I love thee 185. This spirit of God leads him by the hand and directs him how he shall walk and tells him what he shall do and suffers him not to go aside either to the right hand or to the left of honours riches or pleasures it makes him to esteem all these things below as earthly low things even as nothing for the whole world is much too little for him is not enough to satisfie please or content him for he looks on its all even as nothing at all as dirt dung and dross he is content in all Estates and Conditions for he knows both how to want and how to abound and with St. Paul to say as sorrowfull yet always rejoycing as poor yet making many rich as having nothing yet possessing all things for Christ is his exceeding gain his Heavenly riches his true treasure he hath now learnt to know Christ and him Crucified and therefore rejoyceth only in the Cross of Christ and saith I have none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Christ is now only his all and his all to him to live is Christ he mindeth none but Christ nor nothing but Christ and what he hath done for him he so loveth and delighteth in him as he is become all his talk all day long and his meditations and songs in the night if he sleeps yet he talks with him so that sleeping as well as waking he desires to have him in his thoughts and never to have his thoughts off from him and his sleep he accounts not sweet if he have had no Conversation with him by Communication and as soon as he is awake he is before his eyes and he presently recollects and recounts his mercies and delighteth in that he oweth him more and more for though he oweth him so much yet he longs to owe him as much more and though he cannot pay him any thing yet he is not ashamed every moment to ask him all things and nothing less than all things which is himself will content him and though he have his word and promise for it yet he will have his seal also and when he hath both sign and seal yet he must have it daily yea hourly yea as it were every moment if he could and though he accounts that he hath nothing so sure yet he would always have him assure him of it not that he doubts at all of his word or promise but that he might always bear in mind this his sweet and gratious promise to sweeten all other sowers of afflictions and temptations and to imbitter all other worldly and fleshly sweets he is so wedded unto him as he is never at rest nor ease if he do not always behold him if he do not always smile upon him if he do not still speak peace unto him if he do not in all places cause the light of his blessed Countenance to shine upon him he is so in love with him and so loveth him as if he could he would willingly think of no other speak of no other nor act for no other he would most willingly spend his all and be all spent for him and follow him wheresoever he goeth though it were to be banisht imprisoned and made the poorest vilest and contemptiblest of men yea though it should bring sickness and death he is much grieved for that he hath so little to lose for him he accounts his life and all not any thing at all not worth the offering unto such a God as he is that hath done so much as he hath done for him Ah when he afresh considers hereof how afresh doth his grief and sorrow begin and most because he cannot grieve and sorrow as he would he is so wounded afresh with his new old love or his old new love as now he finds nothing lovely in himself to witness his love unto him he cannot do for him the half that he would do and Ah how is he troubled that he doth and is able to do so little for him that he loveth so much Ah how willing is he and how willingly would he do his whole and holy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven and would be as willingly Sanctified as Glorified this his imperfection causeth him to long for perfection and this his holiness in part to long to be dissolved to enjoy for ever perfect holiness but though he be thus tossed on the restless waves of tentation tryal and affliction this spirit of God that dwelleth and abideth in him assureth him that all these things are tokens of Gods love and come from him in love and therefore he is content for that he knows that his Lord and Master Christ Jesus is touched with the feeling of his infirmities and was in all points like unto him yet without sin 186. This spirit comforts him when he is comfortless and binds up his broken heart heals his wounded heart visits his sick heart gives feeling to his senceless heart life to his dead heart faith to his doubting heart hope to his despairing heart speaks peace to his disconsolated and afflicted heart and gives understanding sence memory and reason unto his distracted heart 187. He that hath this spirit he is grieved to see Christ dishonoured by any and to see him blasphemed and evill spoken of is to throw durt and dung in his face mens dishonest and filthy lives and conversation make his soul to melt his heart to quake his ears to tingle and to gnash his teeth for grief he goeth mourning all the day long and lamenteth with a most bâ—ttâ—r lamentation to hear the mockings of God and his Word because this is to Crucifie his Jesus afresh and to put him again to open shame 188. For he that hath this spirit rejoyceth to hear the name of God and of Christ magnified and praised to hear him well spoken of causeth his heart to leap within him as the Babe did in Elizabeths Womb for he loves those that love him and honours those that honour him and such only he accounteth his Father and Mother his Brothers and Sisters that do the will of God his Father which is in Heaven for he esteemeth only the true Christian to be wise
are thus made free 31. That high Heaven above is to be had here below and we have it when though we are high in God yet we are low in our selves though we have our hearts high living in that Heaven above above all things here below yet our affections esteem and desire are all always weak dull and low to all these things here below yea much lower than the lowest of things 32. Ah did but our hearts well consider what is in Gods heart to give us and to do for us surely we should and we would do no other thing than wait upon him continually to hear what he would say unto us and do for us which would bring us more joy joy us more than our hearts are able to hold than we are any of us able to think or to conceive 33. O Lord thou knowest that I would not have all that I would have but the heart of my desires yea the desires of my heart are to have only only to have that which is in thy heart to have me to have 34. Let O Lord I humbly beseech thee my thoughts heart and affections be always loaden with the loaves of thy love 35. Let my soul always be resatiated with thy love and kindness even with thy loving kindness O Lord. 36. O God in Jesus Christ let thy former mercies always glad my heart when it shall either droop or faint I most humbly beseech thee 37. Let me not Ah let me not wander from thee nor thy precepts O Lord who keepest this close unto me 38. Let thy Commandments be as a Chain of Gold about my neck and as Bracelets of Pearls on my arms 39. Let O Lord God thy whole Law which is holy be written on my heart with the finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit and grant through thy grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ that I may never depart from them but always and ever delight in them much more than on my daily food which thou hast appointed and ordained to feed this temporal life 40. Let thy word O God be as yea be the hony comb to the spiritual taste of my Soul and resatiate and solace it as with marrow and fatness and comfort and glad it as wine on the Lees yea as wine well refined on the Lees. 41. Ah Lord God cause my soul always feelingly and rejoycingly to say I have none in Heaven but thee nor on all the earth in comparison of thee my Jesus and my Christ and let the Corn Wine and Oyl which are the riches honours and pleasures of the World be as durt dung and dross in comparison of it 42. Ah Lord God what is man sinful man wretched blind despicable poor man that thou art thus mindful of him and the Son of man that thou should'st thus regard him delight in him and set thy heart upon him to do him good yea to do him all the good that is in thy heart and to make him that is his heart according to thine own heart 43. Ah wonder of wonders that such a God should thus condescend to love such a man nothing man man that is nothing but evil all evil yea and continually all evil for there is none good but thee O God O none no not one 44. Bow down O Lord bow down my heart unto the obedience of thy Laws and lift it up to rejoyce in the obedience of thy Commandments to keep them and do them for in the keeping of them there is life yea eternal and everlasting life 45. Banish O Lord I most humbly and earnestly beseech thee out of my heart and thoughts the love and the liking unto any other Love besides thee and thy Love 46. And grant that with the heart of my heart I may serve thee in truth of heart unfeignedly all the days and moments of my life that I may long after no other thing and that thy fear may be my dayly food 47. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee to give out thy self unto me that I may give up my self unto thee 48. Give O Lord give thy self unto me that I may for ever give my self to thee to live ever to thee and for thee as I desire ever to live in thee and with thee 49. Thou knowest O Lord my God that I desire not what I do desire unless it be conformable to thy desires so that my desires are not mine but thine not mine own but thine own yea thine all all thine 50. I would not have O Lord God thou knowest right well what I would have but what I should that what thou wilt have me to have what thou hast appointed me to have Ah let me have that only that all all that 51. I know that all that thou givest us whether graces or gifts thou wilt have an account of we shall account with thee for 52. Ah let me no longer nor no more have this woe and grief of heart to have received much and done little and to ask much for my self but to do little Ah little for thee 53. Suffer me not O Lord never to think or do that in secret which I would not which I should not do openly and let me O Lord Ah let me much more fear thine all seeing eyes than all the seeing eyes of Angels and men 54. How we are to desire and believe that we receive the Lord in the Sacrament of his blessed Supper and the assurance thereof to our Souls to comfort glad and rejoyce them 55. Ah Lord God as for me as for me Ah Lord God the food my Soul desireth at thy Table and Supper that which resatiateth feedeth filleth and refresheth it is the sweet breath and most divine and delitious breathings of thy divine and most holy Spirit into my heart and soul and all the affections and faculties thereof to warm and heat them to ascertain and assure my heart of thy Love and living in it which thou dost O Lord by sanctifying it the will the mind the memory the desires and all the affections and faculties thereof and by making it and them more not only to desire but to perceive see feel and certainly to know its growth and growing more and more in conformity and likeness to thee O God in Christ by loving delighting choosing imbracing and rejoycing in thy Laws ways word will and Commandments I do not blessed O Lord be thy name as do the Papists suppose or believe that I eat thy flesh and drink thy blood as thou wert when thou wert here on Earth in the flesh on the Cross for I know that the Spirit must be fed with spiritual food spiritually the food of the body cannot resatiate or satisfie the Soul and that Soul that hath thus tasted and fed on thee Spiritually will assuredly hunger for this blessed heavenly food of thy holy heavenly blessed most blessed Spirit even for the breathings of this thy Spirit for the joys and ravishments which they enjoy that enjoy and are filled
with this Spirit for the peace tranquillity serenity and comfort of thy Spirit for the life and living of thy Spirit to please delight fill full satisfie and resatiate the appetite of the Soul even as the body hungreth and desireth rejoyceth and delighteth in food to please its fleshly appetite what if we could or did O Lord eat thy very body and blood that would not fill or feed our Souls which are not fed with meat and drink corporally but spiritually and what matters it O Lord as for me I care not what I eat or drink as to the outward man so I may eat and drink by faith in the Spirit and my inward man may be filled with the Spirit whether the body live or dye as for the bodies sake I care not though the body be hunger starved it shall for sure I am it will be well content if the Spirit be thus fed and filled with the presence breathings and Communion of thy Spirit 't is not Ah Lord 't is not thou well knowest the Quails and Mannah from Heaven nor thy body and blood corporally but spiritually that my Soul longeth for and my heart desireth and panteth after so that it even fainteth for lack of it Ah give me that or else I dye I dye indeed corporally spiritually and eternally from which deaths O Lord by thine own death I trust I hope I believe and am confidently assured that thou hast delivered me and wilt deliver me by giving me this Heavenly food of thy holy Spirit to live in thee for thee and to thee here by grace and hereafter in glory this is my belief O Lord increase my Faith strengthen it and comfort it more and more by thine own Spirits living raigning and ruling in my heart by causing it willingly cheerfully and perseveringly to walk in thy ways doing thy will with sincerity integrity and uprightness in thought word and deed both towards thee and towards all men for ever and for ever 56. He that maketh wagers usually coveteth if not always therefore surely it's best to forbear 57. Ah Lord keep me from coveting any other thing than thy self and thy holy and blessed Spirit to teach me lead me direct me guide and govern me my heart and affections to walk in all thy holy ways and to keep all thy Commandments all my days 58. For worldly covetings after the things of this World keep our thoughts hearts memories and affections from seeking with coveting desires the things of Heaven or Heavenly things 59. Let me covet thee O Lord ever ever But all things or any thing out of thee never 60. Let my love be to love thee my delight to delight thee my care O Lord let it be to please thee my groanings to go after thee in thy ways and let all my joys be to rejoyce in thee and thy praise and to praise thee O Lord my Lord always 61. Ah suffer me not in other to spend my days But thus uprightly to walk in all thy ways 62. Covetings for the World makes the affections of the heart to affect the World but covetings for and after Heaven makes the heart and all the affections thereof to affect Heaven and the things in Heaven with a heavenly heart 63. Covetings for the World makes the heart earthly but covetings for Heaven makes the heart heavenly 64. Covetings after God makes the heart God-like according to his heart covetings after any thing out of God or besides God makes the heart ungodly that is ungodlike and contrary to his heart 65. Covetings after the flesh makes the heart fleshly or a heart in the flesh Covetings after the Spirit makes the heart spiritual yea a heart living in God's Spirit 66. I suppose that if a man love at times unlawfully lusting after strange flesh only with the flesh that is desires and would their Loves with the flesh but not with the will and mind which is the heart though the flesh saith yea and yields if the Spirit saith nay and yields not and doth much more ardently and vehemently desire and would not their Loves then the flesh doth and would their Loves and the Spirit that is their inward man would much rather have the hatred than their loves and hath sincere hatred and dislike to this Love by the flesh faithfully truly ardently and continually it is not he that sins but Sin that dwelleth in him for though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin please the flesh yet he hates detests and abhors the evil which he doth and with his mind he serves the Law of God God's Law is written in his heart and remains engraven still in the inner man on all his affections 67. As to me I willingly most willingly would if it might be love none but my God alone 68. True Lord true it is the outward man that is the flesh desireth and delighteth in the things of the flesh because it is fleshly as the inner man the heart of the Soul and the Soul of the heart and all the faculties thereof delighteth and rejoyceth in the things of the Spirit because it is spiritual 69. I have no Heaven here Lord because my Heaven is in thee and yet I have a Heaven Lord here because thou that art Heaven art here and in me 70. Above all keepings keep O Lord O Lord keep my heart my poor heart from sin from choosing delighting approving countenancing or maintaining Sin 71. But this is not all no Lord no thou knowest it 's to be thy servant to work thy work to do thy will not for my self as for thy self not for my praise applause or honour but for thine for I could not be satisfied though I had all I would have unless I do all that for which thou hast created me and appointed me to do 72. 'T is not Ah 't is not the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World the honurs riches and pleasures thereof 't is not the hony of Earth but Heavens hony that my Soul desireth to tast and ever to feed upon 73. If I had and were ever sure to have all the satisfaction that ever Creature had and I had thee not O my God for my Portion as I firmly believe I have I should and would account my self of all men on Earth the most miserable 74. I would not give the part and Portion that I have at present in my God for all this Worlds good for all its honours riches and pleasures 75. Ah Lord how much nothing doth all things seem to be when compared to thee 76. Faith hope and love in thee and for thee O Lord is more worth than all things else that can be given that is not of thee 77. Who is able or can express the satisfactions of that Soul unto whom thou hast given Love cordial faithful sincere and persevering Love to love thee 78. Ah how sweet a thing is it to serve the Lord Ah how pleasant and delightsome to walk always in all his ways
things are so much out of him that is out of his heart out of his mind out of his memory out of his affections his desires his will his love or his liking that his joy is augmented greatly that they are so outed of him for then only he saith Now I have what I would have yea all that ever I did desire or crave for my God is to me all things and much better than all other things 50. Ah Lord bury me I most humbly beseech thee thus in thy self that I may be dead to all other things to all things out of thee and besides thee let me Ah let me so possess thee and be possest so by thee as I may only and always mind thee and have thee only and always in my mind Let love to all the pleasures of the flesh though lawful be low poor icy cold and frozen to me that I may flee from them all to be heated by the fire of thy love to live in those blessed Sacred flames which is the life I desire to live for out of them I cannot live as I would life is to me death and death would be a sweet life delivering me from many deaths 51. Suffer me not Ah suffer me not O Lord to love any thing else how lovely or lawful soever it may be if it hinder or lessen never so little my loving of thee but bet me only choose prize esteem and delight in thy love and to walk worthy of it by all well-pleasing rejoycing to do thy holy will with my whole heart mind and will 52. Such and so great is thy love and thy goodness O Lord that thou delightest to make us good and then delightest in our goodness thou delightest to give us grace and then delightest in our graces thou delightest to make us holy and then delightest in our holiness thou delightest to make us perfect and then thou delightest in our perfection thou delightest to make us obedient and then thou delightest in our obedience thou delightest to make us lovely and then thou takest delight in our loveliness thou delightest Ah thou delightest to make us such as thou wouldst have us to be and then thou takest great delight in the work of thine hands even in thine own handy-work 53. Ah our great most great God how greatly great is thy greatness How greatly good is thy goodness how greatly true is thy truth how greatly just is thy Justice how greatly mighty is thy might how greatly lovely is thy love how greatly beautiful is thy beautiful countenance how greatly Ah how greatly sweet are all thy Sweets how greatly delightful are all thy delights how pleasant Ah how pleasant are all thy pleasant things with thee O God is fulness of all joy unspeakable joy and from thy right hand flow pleasures for evermore 54. Ah the joys the joys even in this worlds joys when God is in them and comes with them and when in that therein alone we take and make all our joy 55. God many times is so gracious as he takes us napping that is gives us grace when we sought it not yea gives us himself many times when we seek him not when we think not of him 56. How doth he many times measure out unto us and shower down upon us such measure of mercy even when we never measured the sweetness nor the greatness of what we received much less of that which we did not of that which we could not expect 57. Ah how much above all things is our God even in the want of all things of all this worlds all that soul Ah that soul that hath him finds not nor cannot find any want at all 58. But wanting Ah wanting him in the midst of all we have nothing even nothing at all but want all even all in the very enjoyment of all this worlds all 59. O God our God thou fillest us many times so full that we even flow over with thy fulness even then many times when we see our selves find feel and know our selves most empty and many times thou causest us to bear and bring forth most fruit even then when we think and see our selves most barren we have thee O God we have thee many times most when we think that we have thee least and thou art nighest us when we think Ah when we think that thou art farthest off from us such a good God is our God 60. How much better is it to be a Lazarus to beg at a Dives's door than be a Dives and suffer a Lazarus to beg at our doors and not to give him of our goods 61. How much better is it to have nothing at â—ll of this worlds all then to have this worlds all and give of it Ah and to give of it unto others nothing at all 62. How much better is it to feed on thee O God and to have nothing else to feed on than to feed on all things else and not to taste of thee of thine own sweet blessed most blessed and most sweet self O God in Christ who art the souls only food by faith 63. Having thee O God we are soon filled yea feasted and solaced with all delicious dainties but feeding on all other things and not tasting O God of thy pleasant things they have all no taste at all 64. O God thou know'st I would most willingly be Ah most willingly I would be a child yea a very fool in wisdom for the world or of worldly wisdom for to get or keep earthly things to be an old man in Christ to learn know feel and keep spiritual things Ah if I could always walk talk and live in the Spirit and obey the Spirit I would account all other joys and wisdom very toyes and meer foolishness 65. To forget all things out of God and besides God and to mind him so as to have nothing else in my mind this Ah this is my longing desire and I trust it will continue in me through grace and augment untill I have all I would have which is my Christ my Christ who is my God 66. Take all this worlds all ye men of the world give me my God my God and I will never ask yours your God But yet I would that ye had mine that my God were your God that my Portion were all your Portion also and that we might be ever brethren 67. Let me Ah let me be blind as it were to see beauty in no beauty out of thee O Christ dumb to hear no voice but thine Ah the still sweet voice of thy Spirit and senseless to feel no pleasure but in those things O God as are pleasing pretious and dear in thy sight lame so as I may not walk after any other thing but thee my God my God so that I may be only thine and none but thine at all times and in all places companies and things 68. He that hath not tasted of the sweetness of God even of those sweet sweets
that God giveth to Souls knoweth it not and therefore desireth it not but Ah he that feedeth on them and hath been resatiated with them he finds no sweets like them nay all other pleasant things unpleasant and all other sweets bitter in comparison of these his sweet most pleasant sweets 69. Being with God having God enjoying God and Communion with him a dungeon is to him a Palace bread and water is good cheer to lye on the ground the earth his bed the heavens his canopy and the trees root his pillow is as a bed of down as curtains of gold and a pillow of wooll nay in flames of fire or on a rack he can lye softly and sing sweetly so he do but hear the still sweet voice of God speaking peace to his Soul and bidding it to be of good cheer 70. There is no company like to no company to be alone with God with God alone if ever it be satisfied it is then satisfied to speak with him to him and to hear God answer him by his Spirit in love Ah the lovely discourse converse delight and joy which makes a man not to know where he is nor whether he be in the flesh or Spirit he is at such times so spiritual 71. Who can Ah who can tell or set forth nay meditate what how good great loving gracious merciful beautiful and abundant is the loving kindness the kind Love of God to his children and servants or set forth the sweetness and greatness of his gifts of Grace 72. He ravisheth them he filleth them he feedeth them he cloatheth them he solaceth them he enricheth them he giveth them such pleasures and joyes as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard nor as no heart can conceive this honour doth the Lord to those whom he loveth to all his Saints 73. He maketh them to triumph in and over all adversity and prosperity in sickness and in health in places and conditions he is always nigh at hand to those that unfeignedly love him and fear him and that tremble at his Word 74. He causeth his goodness to pass before them and proclaimeth as with an audible voice that he will be ever and for ever their God and their Guide their Sun and their Shield their Peace and their everlasting Portion that he will never leave them nor forsake them but always and ever own them for his own and so stand by them and live and dwell in them that no evil shall come nigh them to hurt them or to do them the least harm but every thing shall always work together for his own glory and their everlasting good 75. Thus they that honour him he will honour they that flye to him shall find succour and help and be brought out of all dangers for his own mouth hath spoken it which is to me much more by much than ten thousand thousand witnesses 76. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee keep me so close unto thee as I may always touch thee feel thee hear thee so as I may know thee by thy name that is by thy doings by thy gracious most gracious dealings by thy wonderful by thy most wonderful gracious actings in my Soul and heart and mind and will and affections that it may be all thine and only thine that thou may'st not only O God be in all my thoughts always but always all my thoughts desires love liking and longing 77. Fill me O Lord fill me with love to thy Laws that I may delight in them yea make the keeping of them my whole and chief delight 78. Fill me O God with thine own goodness that I may be good with thine own Justice that I may be just with thine own righteousness that I may be righteous with thine own mercy that I may be merciful with thine own truth that I may be truely true with thine own Love that I may be lovely loving thee in truth with thine own fear to fear thee with thine own Faith to believe in thee and to lay fast hold upon thee with thine own beauty O Lord to make me comely and beautiful with thine own gloriousness to make me glorious with thine own transcendent shining faithfulness that I may be faithful unto thy holy Laws all my whole life 79. Thou hast O God thou hast for which I shall never cease to laud and praise thee promised to keep me by thine own power through Faith unto salvation therefore I will not be afraid nor fear any power no nor all powers whatever whether of sin men or Devils for I know that they are all weak and that thou art strong they are the conquered thou O Lord thou art the Conquerour they are all subdued and thou hast O Lord subdued them they are brought under and thou rulest over them they are thy foot-stool and thou tramplest upon them all their all to thee O great God is nothing even nothing at all all the Nations of the Earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance in thy sight with the breath of thy nostrils thou art able to consume them and turn them to their first substance dust therefore O Lord my Lord I will depend and rely on thee that thou wilt do for thy servant this good that is so great even to make preserve and keep me faithful unto the death and then O Lord then in the greatness of thy eternal and everlasting goodness wilt give me for ever the Crown of eternal life 80. How small a thing how poor a thing and how low a thing is and are all things if God be not in them and come not with them 81. What is it to have all things out of God and besides God that is not to have him with them in them who is all good and only able to make all things good unto us 82 How poor and low are all these high things here below the riches of the World the honours of the World and the pleasures of the World to enjoy all their pleasures and their joys how foolish is it and Ah what toys considering their fickleness shortness and uncertainty for what is green desirable and flourishing to day is to morrow perhaps withered dry loathsome and all its beauty past away for who can say of any thing or of himself it shall be to morrow as it is this day 83. The wicked shall not live out half his days and how long soever he live they will not be half the days he would live though God should lengthen them as he did Hezekiah's for ten years nay for a hundred nay make his days as Methusalem's all such a time would be but a moment to eternity but to live in the Love and favour of God a man shall dye never but death shall make him live for ever and for ever 84. What a poor yea despicable poor small thing are Kingdoms Crowns and Scepters and what else as humane Learning the wisdom of men mans wisdom
know both how to want and how to abound 20. Truth inableth to go beyond all things for truth bringeth us home to possess all things even to possess God the God and giver of all things who is truth 21. By truth we are inabled to lead new lives and to have holy affections frequent in us our hearts being set on earth 22. Truth is lovely amiable beautiful desirable as the finest gold that cannot be finer 23. Truth maketh us unlovely lovely beautiful bright shining transparent and glorious being a beam a spark a coal a little light of that great light in whom we are comprehended but cannot Ah cannot comprehend for he is altogether incomprehensible 24. Truth makes us always lovely fair and beautiful in his eyes who can behold no falsity no evil 25. Truth is that mantle to cover our many infirmities and to make us that with boldness we may approach that glorious Sun and not be burnt that glorious day and partake of its glory that will cloud and eclipse the errours that are yet in us and make us to feel and to know that we are bound up in this blessed mantle with his hand that will take care over us and for us that no evil any more hurt us 26. Ah God the God of truth and my God let this truth of thine never depart from me nor I from it let me shine in it more and more that I may be resplendent and glorious always shining in thy sight that thou mayest delight to look upon me to love me and to honour me making me thy delight in and through the Son of thy love and the Saviour and Redeemer of my soul Jesus Christ the Righteous let my heart be always a heart of truth a true heart of truth serving thee unfeignedly and doing always all that I do in truth from love 27. When God is present there is present all good for all good is in God and from him proceedeth nothing but good he being the best the chief and the only good 28. Accordingly as we enjoy God our joys abound increase or decrease 29. When we possess him whatever other things we possess we possess them not whatever else we hear we hear not whatever else we see we see not whatever else we be we are as if we were not he being the souls all even all that it wills would love or desires the soul is so glued to him that it cannot be taken off by any thing that is either in heaven above or on earth below 30. Who can ah who can recount express tell or set forth the gracious magnificent transcendent bountiful bountifulness of our God in Jesus Christ its height is too high its breadth is too broad its length is too long and its depth is too deep As it is only his own Spirit that can tell what is in his mind for our good so it is only they they only that possess his Spirit that can comprehend in some measure the sweet Sweets that he gives that he pours and showres down into the hearts of his beloved ones 31. The joys of heaven are far above Unto all those that truly love Than all else be that we do know That we taste that we feel that we see 32. Go on go on O God go on To give me thy beloved Son Let him be mine let me be his For he 's my joy my peace and bliss 33. Let me in him and he in me Be alwaye seen to live and be Then when this all shall pass away My soul with him shall ever stay 34. It is unto thee O Christ that I come to have of thy self thy self 35. Let the world and devil use all their skill I am sure my God will be with me still 36. I am sure that God will fit and prepare me for all trials and afflictions whatsoever either before or in the trial of affliction 37. Ah Lord I beseech thee give me this grace that I may desire grace pray for grace and prize grace here on earth as I do and shall do glory hereafter in heaven for I know that he that hath not grace here shall not have glory hereafter and the more grace here the more glory hereafter 38. If then I live the life of grace here I am as sure I shall live the life of glory hereafter 39. Methinks it is much too low a thing for a Christian to desire any thing either here or hereafter for himself alone If I desire any thing here methinks it is chiefly for others most of all for others to refesh and comfort them I desire to have that I may have to give as for my self any condition I praise God would now fully please me would now fully content me yea I am fully perswaded that any bitter yea all bitters would be to me sweet in poverty I should find riches in banishment liberty in dishonour honour in contempt applause in being despised rejoyce and though I had nothing yet methinks I should enjoy all things 40. My God knows how much I desire heaven but more for his sake than for my own sake he knoweth that knoweth all the secrets of my heart that with my heart and soul I love him more much by much than my self I am so unlovely to my self that I cannot that I dare not love my self but in subordination to him and for him that I may praise him that I may prize him that I may fear him that I may love him ah that I may love him obey him and adore him 41. To love God I am unfit I am unworthy because I cannot ah because I cannot love him as I would as I should Indeed if thus it were possible for me to love him ah how would I delight even in my own love and love my self if that I had such a heart according to his heart to love him only with my whole heart even with a holy heart 42. But I find my heart so dull so dead so cold so benumm'd so Icy and Frozen that there is not that heat left within me of love as I would as I desire and as I should have for my God for my good for my heaven for my bliss for my rest for my peace and for my only joy all which is my God 43. Ah my Love thou art altogether unâ—ovely because thou dost not and because thou canst not love as thou shouldst what thou shouldst love and because thou lovest so much too much what thou shouldst not love thy self thy unlovely loveless self 44. Ah Lord my Lord it is thee it is thee that my Soul with all my heart would love and would if it could love none else love none besides in comparison of thee and thou knowest O Lord my God I desire sincerely and would be filled with this grace of Love buâ— for thee alone alone for thee for thee my God my God who art to me only lovely let I beseech thee all other love that is disordinate decrease
that loving these less I may love thee more love thee so as thou requirest and deservest that is above all things in heaven above or on earth below 45. I know O Lord that thou art with me of a truth because thy truth is with me that is in me of a very truth 46. Love from God fills our hearts with sincere and true love for God or God's love to us fills us with love for him his love sweetly constraineth us 47. Ah how light how light is that heart that is emptied of all sin being unburdened of that intolerable burthen for if a wounded heart cannot be born ah then when such a heart is made whole it must needs bring ease refreshing comfort and unspeakable joy 48. When God is in the heart it may be seen in the face and perceived by the words that come out of the mouth such a lustre is on the whole Man both within and without when the presence of God by his Spirit is within he is surely beautifull in the eyes of all beholders that delight and desire to behold the face of God in Jesus Christ the very Majesty of God in some sort is on such a Soul and through the glorious light of Christ's gracious face his face doth shine in the sight of God and all good men 49. I will make no condition with thee O God but only this that is to love thee only in all conditions as my God and my only good 50. Ah Lord I most unfeignedly and humbly beseech thee let me never taste of this bitter bitter that is to find any sin sweet 51. But let all sin even all oh all Be unto me as wormwoed and gall 52. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee never suffer the remembrance of the former pleasures of sin to please me but let their remembrance be altogether displeasing hatefull and detestable and to be delivered from them let it be unto me as the deliverance from Death and from Hell 53. Let the fire of thy grace quench totally the heat and fire of all and every lust sinfull and disordinate affection that I may henceforth burn only in the fire of Love to thy Laws 54. The true Life of God in a Christian is most of all and plainliest seen by his hatred to all evil and sin and by his unfeigned sincere ardent and continual Love to all that is good he loves all that is good in all to see it though afar off to hear it spoken of by any whatsoever but to find it in himself most of all joys and satisfies him to see any evil committed or to hear any evil spoken by any troubles and afflicts him such is his Antipathy against it that he will not give it the least healing or parley no nor cast the least glance of an eye to favour it it is abominable to him in thought word and deed and in all its circumstances even in all And as well hath the whole man all the faculties of the Soul hatred to the least circumstance of all ill as well as to the greatest but the degree and measure is according to the measure and degree or nature of the ill but it 's alike hated sincerely as well the very least as the very greatest of all And in the same manner and measure is his unfeigned Love to all that is good he thanks and praiseth and prizeth God for good thoughts as heartily and sincerely as for good words or actions because he as plainly seeth the true Love of God in the very least particular as in the very greatest And 't is the Love of God which is his presence in Love that makes his Soul to leap within him with joy When that the Soul sees his God it sees all his good his Heaven his Bliss his Peace his Love his Joy his Rest his whole and only Delight Contentment and Comfort But in the most good he sees him most and therefore desireth to do the most good that ever was done or is possible to be done and therein he is best pleased because that pleaseth his God best and to please him is his only pleasure all his pleasure joy and delight only it is his Heaven and therefore he makes it his only happiness 55. Ah God my God and my only good let it be I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee in Jesus Christ always thus with me that my soul may be satisfied may be solaced may be refresht and comforted by thy living in me and by my living always in thee and unto thee to thine eternal honour praise and glory for thine own glorious and holy names sake give me this grace that I may live this life here on Earth until I come to live that life that I shall after this is ended live with thee in Heaven So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 56. Ah how happy thrice happy are we Who both tast know feel find savour see That thou livest in us and that we live in thee 57. Empty me O Lord of all even of all that I may be fit to receive and be filled with thy fulness even with thy blessed most blessed self the Ocean and Sea of all goodness 58. As long as we are full or in part filled with world flesh or self so much less room there is for God for when a Vessel is full it can receive nothing and according to the measure it 's empty it is capable to receive 59. How then Ah how then should we labour to empty our hearts of all that is not of God that we may be filled only with God with God only and always be thus empty that we may be thus always filled for it 's clear according to the measure we are empty we are capable to receive and we shall receive from God of his blessed fulness of unspeakable joys and pleasure if we are willing and labour earnestly and sincerely to empty our selves of our selves and of all fleshly worldly pleasures and joys which are but meer fancies vanities fooleries and toyes 60. Ah Lord God the Fountain and the Ocean that can never be emptied empty I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee in the name and for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour Jesus Christ my heart of all things even of all what ever it be that is not according to thy heart that is not of thee that I may pant and gape hunger and thirst long and desire to be filled with thee alone alone with thee with thee who art only desirable and to be desired only grant that all the Worlds all may be more and more unto me nothing even nothing at all that thou mayest be all mine and I all thine that I may love all things out of thee less and less dayly and thee O God more and more untill I so love thee as it may not be possible for me to love thee more that my Love may cause me so to sink into thee as I may see my self in
thou should'st do any good to me or for me so bad is my very best so empty nothing and vile is all mine all And knowing thee now O Lord God by thine own sweet name of love and mercy I am not I praise thee at all afraid that thou see in me all my sins past because thou hast given me a free pardon for them present sins because having pardoned those I am as sure that thou wilt pardon these neither am I afraid of my sins to come because I know that thou art never weary of doing good and that thou never slumbrest nor sleepest but always watchest over me Wherefore O Lord seeing that thou art become my Lord and my God I now most humbly beseech thee to look on me at all times in all places and things what ever my failings or my fallings be to recover me and comfort me as thou did'st Peter for I know and firmly through grace believe that what thou wert thou art and wilt be ever unto me a sin pardoning God a God pardoning all my sins whatsoever And seeing O God my God that thou art such a God as thou art give me grace that whatever I do I may do it to thy Glory for thy glory and never more Ah never more willingly wittingly or knowingly sin against thee in thought word or deed but freely and cheerfully depart henceforth from all iniquity with my whole heart and soul even from all both the great and the small that I may be ever thine and all thine from this time forth and for evermore Amen 111. Thus the Lord brings good out of evil sweet out of bitter and gives us as at this time unto my poor Soul new tokens pledges and assurances of his old love 112. Ah Lord let this thy Love and Kindness even thy most loving and kind Love be always had in remembrance of me and cause me to cling to thee to cleave to thee to hold thee fast and never to let thee go and let me always say the Lord be praised the Lord be praised always 113. Ah Lord seeing I have so deeply and so sweetly drank of and at this Well of Consolation let it be in me ever a Well of Living Water that may never grow dry that I may always suck at this breast to refresh my Soul when I am a thirst 114. I sincerely confess and profess were I to spend all my days to praise thee that the time would be too too short much by much to shew forth thy loving kindness and thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me And therefore my soul praiseth thee ' and rejoyceth for that there shall be no end of that time which thou hast O God appointed wherein I shall speak of and sing thy praises it shall be World without end that I shall praise thee O God the God of my Salvation and my God 115. O God let this mercy be always as fire to heat me as food to feed me as drink to refresh me as wine to comfort me as cloaths to cloth me as riches of all sorts to enrich me let it be to me always all things Let it not lose its worth nor tast by lying but let it be always as the Honey-comb dropping honey to revive and comfort and strengthen me and that I never forget what a God thou art and that thou changest not thou art still the same God blessed for ever and for ever 116. Ah Lord let me never forget these thy mercies but through grace and the presence of thy holy Spirit walk worthy of them unto all eternity through the worthiness merits and obedience of Jesus Christ thy only Son and my alone Saviour and Redeemers sake Amen 117. Many times God is so good and gracious so mercifull and loving unto us that then even then when we fear we shall see his frowns that he will frown on us when we come before him He to our great astonishment and admiration smiles on us When we fear that he will strike us with the Rod of his Anger he embraceth and kisseth us with the kisses of exceeding transcendent Love when we fear he will be absent he is then many times most sweetly present surpassing much by much all sweets conceivable as he was at this time to me which Ah that I could always bear in mind that I might henceforth and for ever live as I should live to his honour and for his glory only 118. Thus is our God good that he bringeth us good when we fear evil and sometimes sheweth us that his goodness is so great towards us for us that he mindeth not our evil 119. Surely when we mind it much and afflict our selves and are heartily ashamed and confounded by reason of our weaknesses failings and imperfections he sheweth that he will not punish us when we do as it were thus freely and severely punish our selves he knoweth of what we are made and that we are but dust and yet he delighteth that we love him fear him prise him praise him and believe him and make him and his Love all our delight and joy 120. Ah Lord suffer me never more to requite this thy exceeding great kindness with the least or any unkindness but that I may henceforth walk before thee circumspectly and wisely with a heedfull watchfull carefull care doing always thy will with my whole heart mind and will 121. When a Soul sees himself free from the Love liking or allowing of any sin it sees its self in God and how it is made partaker of the Divine Nature that it is a little spark or beam of that glorious Light which is pure transparent bright and clear and having no mixture nor no cloud for sin only brings darkness in the Soul sin only is the cloud which eclipses the Light of this glorious Sun sin only darkens and weakens our sight and our knowledge and hinders us that we do not nor cannot see our selves as we are in God but when that sin is done away totally that is all Love liking and allowance then are the eyes of our understanding opened and all darkness is swallowed up done away and wholly and totally consumed and we are swallowed up into this Divine Light by which we are made to see and know our selves as we are in God a part as it were of this Light even this Light it self in some measure it is so in us and we are so in it we see our selves clear and free from all fears and cares being delivered from them and having obtained the fulness of knowledge desired or desirable that is that we are partakers of him that is all purity all light all wisdom all serenity peace contentedness and rest all passions ceasing of desiring more for all the desires are satisfied having this knowledge to see our selves and know our selves to be with him and in him which to know to behold is to partake of and this is Eternal Life in us 122. But when the mind of man I mean
choice to chuse fitly and now he alone knoweth my desire my choice my aim and my end Let him do all that seemeth him good his will and not mine be done 198. Ah Lord make me more and more by much to hate all evil because it is evil altogether hateful and therefore to be hated 199. But Ah Lord God let me much more by much love all good because it is good and only lovely and therefore only to be loved 200. Let me hate all evil because it is not of thee O Lord nor from thee nor according unto thee but contrary yea altogether contrary unto thee and therefore hateful only hateful and to be hated only 201. But let me Ah Lord let me love all good and in all because it is from thee O God because it is of thee and according unto thee and therefore lovely beautifull desirable and to be only loved 202. Let me love only that O Lord God which thou lovest and hate what thou hatest and as thou lovest and hatest both the one and the other that is always and for ever and for ever In Bourdeaux Anno 1660. 1. THE happiness of a Christian in this World or in this Life he makes as to me to be strength against all sin even against all both great and small against the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that he may totally overcome and always all sinfull worldly fleshly lustings and affections so that he commit nor consent unto no evil at all either great or small but serve the Lord continually in sincerity and godly simplicity by all his thoughts words and actions doing all good always that is possible to be done at least in his choice will and desire 2. The comfort of a Christian in this life is in purity and holiness of heart mind affection and thoughts endeavouring always with might and main to his very utmost that he be not carried away with vain foolish fleshly thoughts cogitations inclinations or affections The more Spiritual holy heavenly and the more perfect he is the more of the Divine Nature he hath the more of Heavens beauty glory and happiness is in him the more he hath of the glorious beautifull and ever blessed impress of the Image of God in him which shines forth unto his understanding comprehension and reason so irradiously and brightly that he is comforted delighted and refreshed with the very joys and bliss in glory he is made partaker of those very joys though but in a small measure that the Angels and Saints enjoy in Heaven for such a Soul possesseth God and his glory and happiness as they do the difference only is in the measure or quantity and not in the certainty or quality the Saints Cup in Heaven is full to the brim when given them and they drink deep of those pleasures and joys which are at God's right hand But we indeed here have but a snip a tast and away they indeed enjoy these joys always without the least intermission But alas our enjoyment of these joys are short but a very little moment we cannot so comprehend as they do how they are comprehended we see but darkly and know but in part however it is the same that they see and know and so are all things ours as well as theirs both things present and things to come for God being our God we have as much as they have he being our Portion theirs is not nor theirs cannot be greater 3. Thus is a Saint on Earth perfectly substantially and effectually in heaven thou on Earth at times and sees and beholds things there as they are for a Saints heart which is his better part and greatest part is always in Heaven though his body be on Earth his affections are above and burn in the fire of Love always for the things that are above are purity holiness and love his meditations and desires are on his God in his God and for his God and thus he dwelleth in God and God dwelleth in him which is the sole entire and compleat comfort and joy of his life and soul even as it is theirs that enjoy and possess God in Heaven 4. Put these two together a Christians happiness and a Christians comfort for they cannot be separated yea there is such a oneness in them as though they be two yet they seem to be but one true one man may abound more in one of them and the other in another Now I am sure that there is not the Man alive nor never will live that knows the sweet the worth and the excellency of them but will confess and say that such a man is the only happy man the comfortable man the peaceable man the rich and the honourable man Ah man man who ever then thou art that shalt be brought by Providence I mean the Spiritual and most favourable Providence of God to peep here into I pray thee endeavour to pry and look into this perfect Law of Liberty more fully more clearly more plainly than yet thou hast and thou shalt find what I have exprest thy self to be even in Heaven and Heaven to be in thee though thou art on Earth to be in God and God to be in thee which is both men and Angels only good bliss happiness comfort joy and rest which good Lord for thine only holy names sake in Jesus Christ I most humbly beseech thee cause me more and more to know to feel to love and long after and that it may be my only imployment to find out this incomparable good this wisdom of wisdom those joys of all joys the only true and satisfactory and to be desired esteemed and rejoyced in Let me then O God my God I beseech thee be sequestred from all thingâ— that tend to please satisfie refresh solace content or delight the flesh for I earnestly would O God if thou so wilt that thou wouldst always be all mine all for thou alone thou knowest O God my God art only able to satisfie the ambitious and exorbitant covetous desires of my mind heart and soul for it hankers and hangs on thee as thou knowest continually let me have thee O God let me so have thee as I may find and feel that I have nothing else what ever else I may have Let me be swallowed up and consumed in thee yea let me I most humbly beseech thee be as it were dead and sensless to all things out of thee and besides thee and give me grace that I may so live to thee here that I may ever live with thee hereafter as there so here to bless praise magnifie laud honour and extol thy holy ever holy most blessed most great most gracious and most glorious name So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 5. A Christians life should be me thinks but a good thought that is always thinking of God for good or at the most but as two thoughts one of Gods Goodness Love Mercy and
according to the knowledge of men that know least to know most for thou hidest thy self from those that seek that knowledge that puffeth up but revealest thy self and shewest thine appearance as the Sun at noon day to those that deny themselves and seek only that Wisdom to know thee that they may give up themselves unto thee 194. Thus O God thou feedest the hungry but the rich thou sendest empty away thou confoundest the wisdom of the wise but makest glad the hearts of thy holy ones which are the humble ones 195. Let me not O God be cast down to doubt of thy Love how low so ever thou shalt cast me nor lifted up above measure how high so ever thou shalt raise me 196. Ah Lord God let my knowledge be that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and that I am thine 197. Ah Lord destroy the adversaries and enemies of my Salvation here which is thy shining manifesting and appearing in me unto me my knowledge of thee to be mine and I to be thine my dying to self to flesh and World to all that is not of thee and my living only to thee O God the God of my Salvation to thee to thee 198. My hereafter Salvation I know that none nor nothing can hinder me from I shall I know enjoy thee O God possess thee behold thee know thee and see thee as thou art to be seen and known I say and am sure that nothing is able or shall hinder me from this blessedness which thou hast prepared for me 199. Ah were it not for the enemies of our Salvation which are our own fleshly lusts and vile affections which fight and war continually against thee O God our Salvation in us we should see know find and feel the same Salvation ever here as hereafter we should contemplate thy beautiful beauty and thy most glorious glory here even as in glory hereafter 200. Ah Lord God fight then on my behalf consume and destroy with an utter destruction all these my enemies which hinder here this my so great Salvation consume and make wast all their powers and deliver my poor Soul because I trust in thee and in thy great name which are thy faithful promises 201. As a Fountain gives freely without intermission or constraint but the natural power or fulness that forceth even so should we that live in God and possess him and his fulness be always giving and communicating of what we have And as a fountain that is stopped a while being hindred of continuing its largess doth as it were during that space make or lay up provision to be more larger in its bounty even so me thinks should we be and do if for some time occasion or opportunity present not but we are as it were stopped from giving being unstopt that is occasion presenting it self to our charity we should shew forth by our gross streams of largeness in giving that the restraint of not having occasion was a constraint and against the supernatural now natural faculties of our Souls affections 202. If thus we were always communicating and when we find not occasion so to do had in us always a vehement earnest burning desire to give Ah how like should we be unto our good God and Heavenly Father who gives continually and is never weary nor repenteth GLORY TO GOD. In Bourdeaux Anno 1661. 1. THe love of God is the best of Heaven the very glory in glory 2. The love of God makes all things lovely to all those that know that they are his beloved 3. Gods love is sweeter than the honey or the honey comb much more desired and to be desired more by much than all fine gold and the most pretious Pearls 4. Gods love is better than Wine to comfort the heart it is the fatness marrow and sweetness of Heaven that feeds feasts and solaceth the Soul 5. There is nothing in Heaven above to be compared to Gods love 6. And all things that are here below ah how much below are they all to the love of God 7. He that hath or is in the love of God hath all God for God is all love 8. Ah Lord God love me then so that I may be filled with love to love thee as I should love thee to fear thee as I should fear thee to honour thee as I should honour thee and to obey thee as I should obey thee in all things in spirit soul and body by all my thoughts words and actions now henceforth and for evermore Amen 9. Ah Lord God how unspeakably great is thy love to all thy Children and Servants turning all things to their good even the very worst of things their sins 10. God sheweth his great love unto us how he loveth us by shedding abroad his love so in our hearts as we are made thereby to love him for naturally we love him not and therefore did he not give us love to love him we would nor could never love him 11. Ah powerful love that makes of us haters to become true lovers to love him in very truth whom we hated truly Yea those that have the love of God thus in their hearts love him so as it may be truly said of them that they love nothing else for they love him above their goods or good name above their Children above their Wives yea much more and above their very lives They can and easily do when called thereto give up all to him and for him his love doth constrain to love him again the heart is so in love with him finding him so lovely that it cryes out continually for more love that it may love him more for nothing comforts such souls as Gods love they make and account his love as himself and himself to be his love and being thus loved by him and living thus in his love they live in him and he in them which is the very life of their lives and the very bliss and Heaven of their Heaven 13. Such is the love of God unto us his Children that he swallows us up and houseth us in himself that we may be all his and he all ours that we may put him so on as be made like him and partake continually of him which is our Crown and Glory yea our Crown in Glory which will make us shine more beautiful and glorious than ten thousand Sons 14. Cause me O Lord God to declare what thou wilt have me to declare cause me to believe what thou wilt have me to believe cause me to know what thou wilt have me to know and inable me to do all that thou wilt have me to do that I may be filled with thee to live to thee and in thee to thine Eternal honour praise and glory so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 15. Go forth O God go forth before me that I may follow thee where ever thou goest that thou wilt be unto me a light by night in the mid'st
ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak any thing touching thâ— method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and bless it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever success it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee anâ— wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the gooâ— Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and always acceptable in his sight who is our Strength anâ— our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of Temptation and to preservâ— you blameless unto the hour of his coming commit and commend you remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for Evermore Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the Fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all Happiness and Blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in Heaven and in Earth from all Eternity unto all Eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth until I come to glorifie thy Name in Heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning aside to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and always acceptable in thy sight O Lord my Strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the Reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious bloud of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross O Lord grant that I may appear blameless and spotless before thy Throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou mayest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and mayest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and find acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor Soul not any head-notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of Life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies even for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the Childrens Table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darkness the more I have of thy wisdom the better I shall see the foolishness of all worldly wisdom and the errours of my own ways the more I have of thee the less I shall have of my self the more thou shalt be pleased to give me the less I shall confess I deserve and the more thou shalt be pleased to lift me up the lower I will cast my self down Ah Lord God teach me to know my self that I may hate my self teach me to know thee rightly not in the History only but in the mystery also not only without but also within that I may love thee in fear and fear thee with true unfeigned sincere spotless love wean me O Lord from the World and the World's loves let me dye to the World and to all things in it that I may live to thee Ah take me from the world ere thou takest the world from me fit me for thy self ere thou takest me to thy self let my last days be my best days and my last thoughts my best thoughts let me not live one moment longer than to do thee service and let that only be my aim and my end let thy work be my wages and thy wages my work O Lord God in Jesus Christ I most humbly
heart wiâ— out untill thy locks were wet with the dewâ— â—aven and when I was most pitiless then â—'st thou most pity me and took'st me from â— self and out of the power of all my adverâ—ies and did'st enter with forceable possession â—o my heart there to lodge sup and dwell â— ever tho' thou foundest it to be more unâ—an then a dunghill and is not this enough â—cause all the Creatures in Heaven and Earth â— stand amazed and with wonder and aâ—ishment to admire the condescension of so great God as thou art Ah Lord God what could I more desire nay â—at couldst thou do more for me then thou hast â—e to bring me out of the death of sin to the â— of grace out of the suburbs of Hell into â— suburbs of Heaven methinks Ah me â—ks I may truely say out of Hell it self â— Heaven it self such a vast difference there â— such a blessed and glorious change there is â—eady blessed and ever magnified and praisâ—e thy ever blessed great and most gloriâ— name of Jehovah my strength and my â—tion Thou hast not only O Lord delivered me â— of the pawes of that roaring Lyon the â—il who had almost devoured me but hast â—en me of thine own power and strength to â— come him to trample him under my feet â— to despite him to his very face thou hast â—vered unto me his falseness and malice and the wickedness and the deceitfulness of my â— deceitfull wicked heart thâ—â— did thus beâ— me Ah Lord what can I such a poor wretcâ— I am render unto thee for all thy benefits I a worm and no man the greatest and â— chiefest of sinners the very worst of the â— of men O Lord accept of what I have to gâ— thee of these two poor mites my soul and bâ— true O Lord I confess and acknowledge â— they are not worthy to be put into thy â— Treasury but if thou wilt be pleased to stâ— on them the glorious Image of thy Son Jâ— Christ I am sure they will pass for our â—coyn in thy Heavenly Court and thou â— own self wilt esteem them of thy peculiar Tâ— sure O Lord set me as a seal upon thy â— and let thy love be setled upon mine tâ— may be out of love with all that I may beâ—ly in love with thee and let all my menâ— and faoulties be but as instruments to act holy and blessed motions Ah Lord God good as great and greâ— good when wilt thou by thine Almighty pâ—utterly destroy and root out all sin out of me â— shall the time O Lord come that it shaâ— Crucified unto me and I unto it when shalâ— time come that I shall see it no more when the time come that thou wilt O Lord givâ— a finall Victory over it and totally destrâ— â—hen Lord shall come that blessed day whereâ— I shall not sin when I shall put off sin as an â— garment and never more put it on when â— tears fears sighs and groans for sins â—ll be expell'd and extinguished when thou O â—rd my sweet and blessed Jesus shalt only be â— all and my all But grant good Lord though sin be in my â—rt that my heart be not in sin and though â— rule over me as a Tyrant let it Ah let it â—ver raign in me a moment as a Soveraign â—d though I cannot live without sin yet good â—rd for thy goodness sake let me live without â—senting unto delighting in or approving of â—y sin whatsoever either in thought word or â—d but let there be always and continually in â— a heedfull watchfull carefull circumâ—ct care though temptations fall on me let â— not fall into temptation but deliver me â—m all evill O thou my Father which art in â—aven and cause me to work out my Salvaâ—n with fear and trembling and to labour â—re and more to make my calling and election â—e before I go hence and be no more seen And knowing Lord that thou hast in the â—ndance of thy love and mercy provided for â— a Kingdom which cannot be shaken let me â—ve grace in my heart to come before thee and worship thee the true God wâ—â—h reverence â—d godly fear that I may always run and not grow weary and walk and not faint wâ— O Lord all thy Laws of grace in my hâ— and thy Statutes of Love in my mind by finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit that I never go astray to the right hand of pleasâ— or to the left hand of profits wean me O Lâ— from the world e're thou take me out of world and whilst I do live in the world me be dead to it and to all the things of which are the honours riches and pleaâ— thereof the lust of the flesh the lust of the and the pride of life and give me those thâ— and those things only which may make thine and onely thine that I may be alâ— thine and ever thine Teach me O Lord to use the world â— I used it not that I may not abuse it my nor thee who hast given it me to use but â— abuse give me O Lord I humbly beseech in Jesus Christ grace to be always minâ— of my last end and of the reckoning thâ— must make before thee the judge of Heâ— and Earth take away all my doubts â— and cares for the things of this life that I cast all my care on thee who carest for for the earth is thine and the fulness tâ— of grant O Lord that I may know hoâ— want and how to abound and to be alâ— content in all conditions knowing that things shall be for my greatest good and â—ugh affliction be in the night yet joy shall me in the morning grant O Lord I beseech â—ee that my last thoughts may be my best â—ughts and my last days O Lord my best â—ys grant O Lord that I may be willing lose all to gain thee and to esteem it no loss â—t great gain grant that I may be willing to â—crease that thou maist O Lord increase to â—nd and to be spent for thee and to follow â—ee the Lamb of Righteousness wheresoever â—ou goest grant that I may be as willing to â—ear the Crown of Thorns to obey thee here the Crown of Glory to praise thee hereafter â—d grant O Lord that I may be as willing suffer for thy glory as to raign with thee in â—ory and that I may desire Heaven much â—ore for thee then thee for Heaven Ah Lord I could be content with Mary to â—t at thy feet and to wash them with my tears â—nd to stand behind thee being altogether aâ—amed to come before thee how willingly â— Lord how willingly do I with Jeremy wish â—hat my head were a Fountain of water that â—ine eyes might gush out Rivers of Tears and Ah that I could with David weep continually with Magdalen abundantly and with â—eâ—er bitterly that I might give my soul no rest â—ntill I come into thy blessed Arms the blesâ—ed joyfull
that I have all that I have Ah give this mercy also to be as willing to it thee back when thou wilt have it was willing to receive it when thou g 〈…〉 it 35. When man speaks to man it take no effect but when God speaks to whatever he speaks it shall take effeâ—â— 36. Let O Lord thy speaking to and in me be effectual for the be and not for the worse of my Soul savour of life unto life and not of dâ— death of life to my Soul and of death â—y sins â—7 I had rather hear and learn one thing the wisdome of God than a thouâ— thousand from the wisdome of men â—8 Let all thy truths in me O God be firmed to me by the powerful wisdome working of thy holy Spirit â—9 God's voyce brings me always joy comforts my sad heart but man's voice seth me alwaies grief and saddens my â—ul heart â—0 I had rather be ever alone with God â— want all other things than be one day â—out him to have and gain and keep other things besides him â—1 For when God is in me then am I in â—ven but when God is not in me then I in Hell for thy presence to me Lord â—o me Heaven upon earth and thy ab 〈…〉 ce O Lord Hell upon earth 42. It is thy self O Lord thy blessed that I desire and not the desires of other desires 43. When I have thee Lord I have all desires and yet when I have thee not â—o not because I cannot desire thee 44. So impotent am I as not able to â—l or desire my own good so poor a â—etch as not of my self â—o wish my self rich so much a slave as to be content yea willing and delight to ever to be a slave yea the worst of slaves even to my own sinful lusts although I know they will if lived in drown me for ever in the pit of Eternal destruction from which good Lord ever deliver me as thou hast delivered me keep me out as thou hast hitherto kept me out and preserve me to my lives end as thou hast preserved me from the beginning that I may ever live to thee for thee and to praise thee ever and for ever 45. Thou hast in mercy O God my God brought thy self thy ever sweet blessed gracious and most glorious self to me ah bring my self in love and obedience home unto thee 46. My words Ah my words I know well are but words and the breathings of a sinfull man but thy words O my Lord I well know also that they are the breathings of a holy God 47. Grant O God my God that all my words may breath out sorrow for sin and thy words breath in me the assurance of the pardon of sin 48. For whose sins O Lord thou forgivest thou also forgettest whom thou pardonest thou wilt save for where thou lovest thou livest and wilt I am sure ever live there in love 49. To be taught by thee O God of wisdom is to be well taught make me O Lord make me I beseech thee as willing to learn of thee as thou art willing to teach me 50. And give me grace O God to retain what I shall learn of thee that I may forget what I have learnt of my self and the world 51. If Earth's sweets are so sweet to earthly minds as they prefer it to the sweet of Heaven Ah how sweet are Heavens sweets to Heavenly minds and how do they prefer it to all the sweets on earth 52. How much sweeter O my God is the honey of thy word to the tast of my inward man than the Hony-comb of the world to the tast of my outward man 53. I had much rather say nothing then my own works do nothing then my own words and have nothing then all my own desires 54. Ah Lord God give me grace to live in Heaven whilst on earth by doing thy will on Earth as it is done in Heaven 55. They are not the words of the mouth but of the heart that are agreeable and well pleasing to thy heart O my God the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts 56. He that hath his heart right all things that he doth and doth not are right dear and precious in thy sight and according to thy heart O God the giver and maker of all hearts 57. When I sleep O God thou art still by me And when I wake I am still with thee So that whether I sleep or whether I wake I am sure O Lord thou dost me never forsake 58. To believe in God is to know God to know him is to love him to love him is to fear him and to fear him is to serve him and to serve him is to obey him and to obey him is to do his will and to do his will is to give up our wills to his will and to give up our wills to his will is to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills and to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills is to have a heart according to his own heart 59. It is not what I do or can do but what I would do that best pleaseth thee my God who giveth both to will and to do 60. O Lord let not what or any thing of that I do please me until I am sure that it please thee 61. O Lord suffer me not to seek my own delight but let my delight be to delight thee who art the delight of my soul and in whom only my soul delighteth 62. If thy back parts O Lord do so much rejoyce my heart here on earth how shall thy face cause me to rejoyce in Heaven where I shall see thee face to face and know thee as thou art to be known 63. And seeing it is my only grief on earth that I have offended thee my God by sin it shall be my only joy in Heaven to praise thee for that thou art not offended with me for my sins 64. Give me O my God for Christ his sake thy Kingdom and thy Glory that I may give thee honour and glory for ever in thy Kingdom of glory 65. And till that day shall be give me grace O my sweet and saving Jesus so to watch and to wait that when thy Kingdom shall come I may rejoyce and say thy will O Lord be done and so enter into the joy of my Lord even into the Lord of my joy 66. To do thy will O God is all the thoughts and desires of my heart and will and in doing thy will is all the joys delights and ravishments of my willing heart thus made willing through thine own good will 67. I know well that it 's thou in me my dear and sweet Jesus that causeth my desires to desire thee and the heart of my soul to hunger and thirst for thee and also that giveth me boldness to speak unto thee 68. O Lord I desire nothing but what thou wilt and all that thou
not who would not be content to be contemptible for a little space to be thus honoured and made truly honourable for ever Ah who would not who would not be right well content to be banisht for a while to be thus brought home in triumph gloriously to abide in his Fathers house for ever who would not Ah who would not be well content and rejoyce to be a stranger and a Pilgrim for a little while in a strange land to have such a possession for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not be in a storm for a while to enjoy for ever such a calm who would not who would not want the delicacies of Egypt for a while to have the delicacies of Heaven for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not refuse to be called the Son of Pharaoh's Daughter for a while to be the Son of the Eternal living loving blessed God for ever and for ever Ah who would not who would not willingly and cheerfully suffer with the Children of God for a while for a little space to raign with the Children of God for ever who would not Ah who would not willingly be cloathed with raggs for a while to wear for ever such glorious robes who would not Ah who is he that would not be Crowned with Thorns for a moment to be Crowned with such a Crown of glory for ever Ah who would not who would not bear the Cross here till death that he may for ever wear the Crown of immortal life Ah who would not who would not suffer with Christ here to raign with Christ for ever hereafter Ah who would not who would not be despised among men to be cherished among Angels Ah who would not who would not suffer as Lazarus did to raign as Lazarus doth Ah who would not who would not suffer as a member of Christs mystical body here to be a member of his glorious body for ever hereafter Ah who would not who would not live the life of the righteous here to live for ever and ever with the righteous hereafter not in the bosome of Abraham but in the bosome of Abraham's Isaac's and Jacob's Gods In the mean time O Lord give me grace courage and strength to run that good race to fight that good fight that thou hast set before me perseveringly unto the end that I may as willingly wear the Crown of Thorns here for thy sake as the Crown of glory hereafter for my own sake that I may be as willingly under temptation here as to be freed from temptation hereafter that for thy sake O Lord I may as willingly be contemptible here as honourable hereafter that I may as willingly suffer O Lord for thee here as raign with thee hereafter and that in all sufferings my only joy may be that I shall for ever enjoy thee But Ah Lord God what am I and what is there in me and therefore what am I able to do for thee or to render unto thee for this thy love which far surpasseth the love of Women Men or of Angels as there was never sorrow like to thy sorrow so there was never love like to thy love true it is O Lord for all this thy love thou requirest nothing but love again Ah how fain would I love thee but I cannot as I would how much less then is it then I should when I would do good evil is present and I do the evil many times which I would not but do not cannot do the good which I would to will is many times present but how to perform I know not but thanks be unto God through our Lord Jesus Christ though with my flesh I serve the law of sin yet with my mind I serve the law of God Grant then O sweet Jesus and give me grace that I may love thee as thou hast loved me and do for thee as thou hast done for me and to this end make my heart upright before thee even according to thine own heart that it may no longer be mine own but thine own that I may be only thine wholly thine holy thine always thine and ever thine that thou in me and I in thee may from sin be ever free Teach me O Lord so to number my days that I may apply my heart unto Wisdom that I may be always mindfull of my last end and of the reckoning that I must then make before thee the Judge of Heaven and Earth Ah Lord suffer me not any longer to walk after the devices of mine own decitfull evil heart but grant O God by thy power I may have power to do and walk uprightly before thee in all thy paths and that I may never more swerve nor turn aside out of the way of thy Commandments either to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Give me grace O Lord God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to see mine own badness and thy goodness ready and willing to make me good that I may see mine own emptiness and thy fulness ready to fill me mine own nakedness and thy robes to cover and cloath me mine own sinfulness and thy righteousness to make me righteous mine own cursedness and thy blessedness to make me blessed my own deformity and ugliness and thy beautifulness to make me beautifull my own slavery and thy freedom and freeness to make me free mine own unworthyness and thy worthyness to make me worthy mine own insufficiency and thine al-sufficiency mine own demerit and thy merit mine own disobedience and thine obedience mine own nothingness yea altogether nothing and thine Almightiness yea altogether all things for in thee are all things from thee come all things and by thee O God all things are and were created I do most unfeignedly confess O Lord that I am unable and unfit to speak unto thee and as unworthy to hear thee speak unto me for in me that is in my flesh there is no good I am all evil only evil and continually evil but in thee O God dwelleth all good for thou art all good only good and continually dost good without thee I can say nothing think nothing nor do nothing that is good suffer me not therefore O Lord I beseech thee to speak in my own wisdom for that would be but the wisdom of words but let me O Lord speak in thy wisdom which will be the words of wisdom and Wisdoms words Let me not O Lord go forth in my own strength against any Temptation for I am so weak I should be overcome and fall into any Temptation but let thy strength thy power thy might and thy love O Lord be seen in my weakness to strengthen me and by thy power powerfully working in me I may overcome and trample under my feet all the strength and power of all my adversaries and enemies Devils lust worlds lusts and self-lusts Ah Lord God suffer me not to go from thee for thou hast the
words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacob's Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his arms my arms might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine enemies O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucifie themselves and their bosom sins hate themselves and their own ways persecute themselves and crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing I despicable poor I until thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most graciously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech the in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannies of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utter and total destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the House of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me until thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ and what else thou knowest to be needful or expedient for me both for Soul and Body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy Spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottom of my heart unfeignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on Earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think love God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many Millions of Millions in the body and Spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him in deed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our senses Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esteem that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joys do then sometimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when it is filled with heavenly joys yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joys of Heaven 7. And if momentany and earthly joys can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joys shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is more than faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the Soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he prefers it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall always and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our joys be so great to see God here and his Glory darkly as in a glass with fleshly eyes Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously
and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights be to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulness of Joy 19. And if our Joys be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here â—n earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall all be done away and our pleasures be for evermore 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on Earth be so sweet Ah how delicious and sweet yea sweetly delicious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favorites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and sit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightness here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would always be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulness of his bright beautifull glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightness and glory they have all their glorious brightness and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehenslbly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages her whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but always please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly Heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glass Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see thee clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yea that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love thee only and to serve thee with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatness and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and Glory A Prayer THe Scope Sum Contents and my intent in this following Prayer is to beseech the Lord to be always graciously present with me to watch over me and to give me in Jesus Christ and for his sake merits and worthiness his own holy and blessed Spirit to lead direct guide and govern me in all things that I shall take in hand to do to change my old heart and give me a New that I may glorifie him by a holy life and conversation all the rest of my days and especially in this place where I have so much so often and so grievously sinned against his great and holy name and walkt contrary unto him serving the Devil and obeying his lusts worlds lusts and self lusts casting his holy and divine Commandments behind my back and trampling his Precepts under my feet and that he would be pleased with me to bring home all his Elect suddenly into his Kingdom of grace here and of glory hereafter that his whole and holy will may be done by us here on earth as it is done in Heaven until he shall be pleased through the infiniteness and incomprehensibleness of the riches of his free grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ to bring us into the Holy of Holies the Heaven of Heavens even into his blessed self there for ever and for ever to sing that ever blessed ditty sweet Angelical and Eternal Song of Hallelujah of Praise Thanksgiving and Glory unto his ever blessed most great gracious and glorious name So be it Lord So be it O Lord God of Heaven and Earth most high most great and most glorious the Creator Preserver and Governor of all things who hast created all things by the word of thy power by thee only they are and were created thou willest all that thou dost and dost all that thou wilt thou O God that art the only God for there is none else there is none besides thee the God of Abraham of Isaac and of Jacob that wast with the Children of Israel in Egypt and on the Red Sea with Moses in the Wilderness with Joseph in Prison with Daniel in the Lyons den with the three Children in the fiery Furnace and with Abraham in a strange Land be with me also O God in Jesus Christ be with me also thy poor unworthy Creature and servant in this strange Land sinful place and Nation whither thou hast by
thine accustomed good and gracious Protection and Providence again called and brought me Ah let not O Lord my former many frequent great and grievous sins committed here in this place chiefly be brought to thy mind or had in remembrance of thee any more and so cause thee to hide thy glorious face and presence from me and take away thine Holy Spirit and give me up to a Spirit of delusion and to mine own hearts lusts and affections which I take to be O Lord the sorest and the greatest of thy Judgments upon earth in this life but rather Ah rather O Lord shew forth thy goodness and thy compassion unto me miserable sinner vile wretch sinful abominable dust and ashes a worm and no man yea the very worst of the worst of men O Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake alone to pass by and forgive all my former iniquities transgressions blasphemies and sins by nayling them to his Cross who was crucified for them that they might not crucifie me by burying them in his grave who died for them that they might not put me to death and was buried that they might never rise in Judgment against me to terrifie me here in this life or to condemn me in the life to come Ah my good Lord God for thy great goodness sake grant that here where I have so much so often and so frequently disowned thee and blasphemed thee I may own thee and praise thee and thou own me for thine own that here where I have so much and so often dishonoured thee by my wicked devilish and sinful life serving and even giving my self up to serve Devils lusts Worlds lusts and self lusts I may honour thee by despising and trampling them under my feet and serving thee in thy ways of holiness and righteousness all the days of my life that here here O Lord where I have despised thee I may adore thee that here O Lord even here where I have walked so contrary unto thee I may henceforth walk well pleasing before thee that here here O Lord where I have hated thee I may henceforth and for ever shew forth my love to thee and for thee that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often grieved thee I may take heed and carefully endeavour to glad thee by all things that I do speak or think that here even here O Lord God where I have caused thee to mourn I may cause thee mightily to rejoyce that here even here O Lord my God where I have so often and so cruelly crucified thee I may without remorse or compassion crucifie all those sinful lusts and affections that did it that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often put thee to open shame by my sinful filthy abominable devilsh life and conversation I may openly frequently and mightily applaud praise and glorifie thy holy holy most holy name that here O Lord even here where I have done so much yea all that I could against thee I may with all my power might strength heart will and affections do all even all that I can for thee that here even here O Lord where I have in all things at all times and in all places deserted dishonoured and disobeyed thee Ah Lord my Lord now and my God grant I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee that I may in all things at all times and in all places and companies serve honour and obey thee by night and by day sleeping and waking on thy days O Lord and on our days in thy house O Lord and in all other houses at thy Table O Lord and at all other Tables in and by all my thoughts words and actions Grant O Lord that here where sin hath so much abounded grace may much more abound and grant I also most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ that those that have seen me grow up in all sin may see sin destroyed in me with an utter and total destruction and separation and my growth iâ— all grace may appear Grant O Lord that those that have been tempted by me and sinned by my example may by my example flie sin and sins Temptations and be brought home with me unto thee to serve thee and that here where I have served Satan and been an instrument in his work Grant O Lord I besech thee that I may despight him to his face and by thine Almighty power I may trample all his powerful temptations under my feet shewing forth O Lord that thy Kingdom power and glory is in my heart by my doing thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven by crucifying and mortifying all sinful lusts and affections the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life for he that is born of God must and will overcome the world and depart from all iniquity Grant O my God in Jesus Christ that here where I have been a member of Satan I may be a member of Christ my Saviour bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh a member of his mystical body of grace here and of his glorious body in glory hereafter that here even here O Lord where I have been a Son of Satan a Child of wrath I may be an adopted Son and Child of God an heir of Heaven and Co-heir with Jesus Chsist of that Kingdom life and glory which he hath provided and prepared for the Saints in life where their God will not I trust be ashamed to be called my God nor their Father to be called my Father Inflame O Lord my heart with hearty and sincere zeal in thy service that I may not do thy work faintingly droopingly drousily nor negligently but faithfully circumspectly willingly cheerfully obediently and perseveringly unto the end of my days that thou O Lord my Lord and my God mayest be at all times in all places and above all things my joy my Crown of joy and my rejoycing my ultimate end aim and desire my supream soveraign principal chief and superiour good my lot my portion and mine inheritance for ever And to this end suffer me not O Lord I humbly beseech thee to walk in my old ways and paths of sin but in thine O Lord God of holiness and righteousness not according to mine own sinful and deceitful heart which is all evil only evil and continually evil but O God according to thine heart which is all good only good and continually good that thou mayest so delight me that all my delight may so delight thee and make thee O Lord God my only delight love me O Lord in Jesus Christ that I may love thee honour me that I may honour thee magnifie me that I may magnifie thee live in me that I may live in thee do all for me that I may do all and be all for thee that I may not henceforth O Lord speak mine own words but thine not think my own thoughts but
thine not do mine own works but thine Ah Lord for Jesus Christ his sake I humbly beseech thee suffer me not to be led into any temptation so as to prevail over me but though temptations fall on me I may not fall into them though sin do remain in my heart my heart may not remain in sin deliver O Lord from all evil for thine is the Kingdom the power and the glory O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Be a wall of fire and of water round about me O my God continually to keep and preserve me from all mine Enemies and Adversaries the Devil the World and the Flesh be O Lord a City of refuge unto me that I may ever hide my self in thee for then I shall be safe and sure to be free from all danger be thou mine all for all my springs are in thee and from thee But what is man that he should be clean and the Son of man that is born of a woman that he should be righteous Behold he putteth no trust in his Saints and the Heavens are not clean in his sight how much more abominable and filthy is man that drinketh up iniquity as the Oxe drinketh up water and rusheth into sin as the horse rusheth into the battel But ah my God how much more wretched am I how much more unclean filthy and abominable am I than any that was ever born of a woman I that have delighted in sin as the Drunkard in wine as the wanton in his mate how have I chosen sin prized sin imbraced sin coveted sinning and sought it as for hid Treasures it hath been sweet to my tast as the hony and the hony Comb but O Lord I know and am assured that with thee there is mercy O teach thou me to fear thee For thou art O Lord become my Portion and thou hast made me thine inheritance for ever I prize thee O Lord much above gold and the most precious pearls thy Countenance is most amiable Ah how delightful are thy ways and how pleasant a thing it is O Lord to walk in the paths of thy Commandments and to keep thy Statutes these things O Lord thou knowest are only desirable unto my soul and it longeth only to be found in thee Who Lord who can or is able to express the ravishments of that heart that possesseth thee who Lord who is able to express the joy of him that enjoyeth thee Ah how doth he as it were run over with fulness of blessings that is filled with thee even with thy blessed self who art the Fountain the Ocean the Original of all blessedness felicity and happiness Ah Lord how truly may he say that hath thee as Jacob did that he hath all though he should want all other things he that hath thee hath all things in the want of all things and he that wants thee wants all things even in the possession of all things for what O Lord what are all things without thee and what doth he Ah what can he want that hath thee who art all things yea much better than all things for he that hath thee hath life yea Eternal life and is past from death death hath no more dominion over him but he that hath thee not is dead though he liveth for he that is in thee O Lord is from all sin free he that is born of thee O God sinneth not sin hath no more dominion over him because thy seed of holiness which is sanctificaâ—ion remaineth in him such a one hath overcome the world and that wicked One with all the Powers of the Kingdom of Darkness Sin Hell Death and the Devil he that is in Christ is Crucified to the world and the world unto him he is departed from all iniquity he hath Crucified the flesh with the lusts and affections thereof he maketh no longer provision for the flesh to satisfie its Lusts for such they know that his Servants they are whom they obey whether of sin unto death or of Obedience unto Righteousness Ah blessed ever blessed and only blessed and happy condition to be thus born again of God and to sin no more to be a member of Christs mystical body bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh such shall be as assuredly Members of his glorious Body for they that are betroth'd unto him here by grace shall be hereafter married unto him in glory Ah Lord God I am sure thou knowest my heart and that though it is not what it would be or should be yet thou hast for which I desire ever to praise thee in grace and mercy made it such as it heartily desireth and longeth to be what it should be but O Lord I know that here is no perfection and that therefore it cannot be here Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ in thine own good due and appointed time bring me home to that long wished for and blessed home that I may be ever blessed in thee and with thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah Lord my Lord thou knowest how willing I am to leave all for thee lose all to enioy thee trample all under my feet and hate all for thy sake yea spend and be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness in all places whither thou wilt go even as a chast Wife giveth her self unto her Husband and delighteth to love honour and obey him and longeth for his presence when he is absent that she may lye in his bosome and be imbraced in his arms esteeming all things toys and trash to his love even so Lord thou knowest that my heart desireth and longeth to be espoused unto thee in Heaven made one with thee knit and glued unto thee that I may be thine for ever and be imbraced in thine arms and lye in thy bosome living as thine and thine only unspotted and unblameable holy O Lord as thou art holy Heaven O Lord is Heaven because it is holy yea because thou art there that art holiness therefore yea therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy and such a holy Heaven as it is to those that are there a thousand years seem but as one day so sweet is its enjoyment and one day seems as a thousand years so great is their comfort of enjoyment and therefore O Lord and to praise thee do I long to be dissolved from this body of sin which is death that I may live in thee and with thee in holiness which is Eternal life for this O Lord thou hast taught me to know and therefore my soul rejoyceth that holiness is the only felicity and chief happiness in Heaven for that makes us only like unto thee who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven Grant therefore O my God in Christ and for his sake that I may whilst here below in the flesh on earth seek after labour for and endeavour to obtain that measure and degree of holiness that my
can be done by them but what thou pleasest and sufferest to be done Cause them and all thy people to know that having thee on their side and for them they need not fear who be against them for none ever fought against thy power and prospered and that though thou dost usually use means yet thou canst O God we know if thou so pleasest do thy work without means yea and against means and that there is no means so contemptible but thou canst O God our God make effectual even to the pulling down of strong holds as thou did'st the Walls of Jericho at the noise of Rams Horns it is as easie with thee to do what thou willest as to will it all things are as easie as possible let us not then O God fear any power no nor all powers having thee the Lord for our God before whom all the Nations of the earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance Thou holdest O God the Ocean in the hollow of thine hand and the earth is upheld and standeth fast by the power of thy might give us then O Lord God such fear as may cause us to love thee and such love as may cast out and destroy all fear for thou only who art God only art to be feared only Ah Lord look down graciously and in mercy upon poor afflicted Scotland and Ireland stir up thy self and come and save them even now now when there is no help for them nigh at hand O Lord be thou their help and help thou them and give them grace to put their trust in thee that thou mayest be their help and deliverer of three Nations make us O Lord one people that we may be knit together with the bonds of love and unity serving thee O Lord with a perfect heart in holiness and righteousness all the days of our lives And though O Lord thou hast delivered them into our hands and given us power over them Ah Lord suffer us not to do other unto them than we would they should do unto us and that we lay not on them too heavy burthens to bear Bless O Lord I beseech thee all my kindred and acquaintance in the flesh Ah Lord I know that thou knowest all their soul and body cases Ah be thou pleased in Jesus Christ to come into their help and give them deliverance make O Lord make their hearts below their conditions and then make their conditions what thou wilt lay no more O Lord on them than thou shall be pleased to enable them to bear and then lay on them what thou wilt Ah Lord cause every thing to work together for their good let them always see and acknowledge that thou punishest them far less than their iniquities deserve and that all afflictions whatsoever come from thee but the procuring cause is in themselves make them O Lord as willing to wear the Cross here as the Crown hereafter to suffer for thee here as to reign with thee hereafter And though O Lord they be poor in the world let them be rich in grace though they be contemptible in the world let them be honourable in thy sight be thou O Lord their Portion and make them thine inheritance and grant O Lord I beseech thee that their last days may be their best days and their last thoughts their best thoughts that they may be thy faithfull humble and obedient Servants unto their lives end living the lives of the Righteous that they may be like them both in death and after death Be thou with them O Lord in all places and at all times that they may always sit under the shadow of thy wings and that the fruit of thy word may be pleasant unto the tast of their souls let them through grace delight to walk in the ways of thy Statutes and let thy Commandments be their daily talk suffer them not O Lord to go astray from thee either after the pleasures or profits of the world but inable them all through grace to walk uprightly and circumspectly before thee unto their lives end Be mindfull and mercifull O Lord unto all the Sons and Daughters of affliction wheresoever dispers'd wheresoever scattered on the face of the whole earth bring home O Lord all that are banisht deliver all Captives and set free all Prisoners that every one may sit under his Vine and rejoyce under his Fig-Tree eating in peace the fruits of their labours visit O Lord the sick comfort the comfortless bind up the broken heart heal the wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sense and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their Souls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter than Snow purer than Wool finer than Gold and brighter than the Sun and make them O Lord more than Conquerours and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the Peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the Apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercies fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gracious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be always-willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not always mourn as men and women without hope but pour down O Lord in much love and mercy pour down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their Souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercies from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O
love O Lord of thy Children and Servants unto thee when they know that they are beloved by thee whom they most love and must love most for thy Love thy Love being most worth worth most and therefore do they despise all Love and things lovely in the Creature to purchase thy Love O God who art the Creator of all Love and things lovely they love thy Love most O God because they know and feel that thy Love only causeth them to love thee more whom notwithstanding they do already love most and for that nothing but thy Love can satisfie them with sufficient love to love thee sufficiently for to love thee is to live and they could not live if it were not for thy Love and therefore are they ready and willing always to dye for thy Love and to witness and shew forth their love with which they love thee 38. If then the love of the Creature be so great for the Creator that it is more above and beyond any love in the Creature for the Creature yea it is so great as it cannot be uttered it being and proceeding from the Creator's own Love that the Creature hath this love and that he loveth thus his Creator 36. But Ah then how incomprehensible and great is the love of the Creator for and unto us his Creatures in that he giveth us so much of his love as to love him and such condescension is in him as he delighteth to be beloved by them who out of his love do so much hate him and love only what he hateth alas alas what can we poor we say of him whom we know not but by himself and from himself and love not but from his love Let us then Ah let us then admire and in humility ever adore this his love with which he hath so loved us as to make us like himself in love which is to be all love loving others as our selves for even as his love only causeth him to love us so likewise doth this his love in us cause us thus to love him and thus to love one another with the same loving love and all that we may be all one and the same in love in him to him and for him who is the love of our love the cause of our loves love the subject of our love the object of our love which we only desire to love and the joy of this our joyous love and the aim of our end and the end of our aim is to live and love unto the end in this loving love that is that our love may never know end as his never knew no beginning nor never shall know end and this is and such is the great love of our God yea the incomprehensible love with which he loveth us being such and so great as we cannot comprehend its greatness it cannot enter into us therefore we shall enter into it neither can we sufficiently express ours for him which flows only from his from himself who is only and alone in himself perfect love and he alone can only create and give perfect love to love perfectly none but himself from himself of himself can then thus love perfectly or give perfect love to love perfectly thus 40. It is then thy love in me O Lord my God that causeth me to love thee 41. Inflame then my cold benumm'd icy frozen heart with the fiery hot burning flames of this thy burning hot love O my God that my heart may continually as Moses's bush and the Seraphims still flamingly burn but never consume for it is by this and from this divine fire that cometh from thy holy Altar O Lord that my soul liveth and out of it it cannot 42. Let me then O Lord ever burn That I may ever live for why Ah if I should not still burn thus I am sure I should eft soon dye 43. Ah Lord my God and my Father in Jesus Christ I desire to praise thee ever for that thou hast not only forgiven me all but given me all thou hast not only given me a pardon for all my Iniquities and Transgressions and forgiven all my sins but hast also forgotten that ever I sinned 44. Thou hast not only given me such a pardon as never to remember my sins any more but with the pardon thou hast O Lord given me thy love and thy self so as I shall ever live in thy self to love thy self ever and to offend thee never 45. Thy love O my God and heavenly Father is far greater unto me than David's was for his beloved Son Absolom though he loved him better than his life and willingly would have died for him yet when he forgave him his murder he would not have him to see his face in Jerusalem But thy pardon O King of Kings is with such abundance of love that thou hast been pleased in love to come down thy self from thy Throne and thy dwelling place in thy heavenly Jerusalem unto me on this earthly Geshur to shew me thy most amiable most glorious and most blessed face and to cause the light of thy Countenance to shine upon me that I might not be afflicted because thou knowest right well that it were much better for me that thou shouldest take my life from me than hide thy face from me for what were or would be my life unto me if I did not O my Father see thy face in Jesus Christ yea thou knowest that my life is nothing unto me if I see not always thy face for thy presence is my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell 46. Ah what love is this O my God! wherewith thou hast and dost love me to pardon such a rebellious murderer as I am not for slaying an incestuous Amnon but an innocent Jesus the Son of thy love thine eldest only Son in whom thy Soul delighted only 47. Thy Love O God my God is such that thou hast not banisht me but brought me back and though I did flye from thee yet thou thy self didst in love run after me and broughtest me back yea such is thy love that thou hast not unthroned me but inthroned me and made me not only an heir but coheir with thy Natural only Son and my Saviour not only of a Crown and Kingdom honourable and glorious but of a Kingdom and Crown of honour and glory and not for a mortal life of time but for an immortal life out of time for ever and for ever 48. Ah Lord God how didst thou love me when thou didst deliver me take me off and free me from my own love from loving my self with self-love that is loving my self more than thee and wert pâ—eased in love and out of the abundance of thy love which is incomprehensible and unconceivable to cause me to choose thy love to prize thy love to desire thy love and to rejoyce in thy love esteeming nothing else lovely or desirable 49. They that love as they ought to love that is True love in loving
God or loving God truly rightly and truly love God first and most he is their ultimate end the end of all their aim and the aim of all their end is to love him they love him for all that is in him for that they know that he is all holy all just and all good and they love him chiefly that is most of all because he is God that is because he is what he is even such a God as he is they adore his greatness as his goodness and fear his goodness as his greatness they prize his mercy at the highest value and value his Justice at the highest price they admire the knowledge of his Wisdom and as much the Wisdom of his knowledge they stand amazed at his might and are confounded at his power alike they wonder at his highly lowness and lowly highness that God would be made man and that a man should be still God they are ashamed for that he would be like them and they abhor themselves that they are notwithstanding so unlike him they therefore long for holiness knowing that it is the greatest and chiefest happiness it making them like unto him holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect though not so perfectly or purely holy 50. All such as love God thus love themselves for True love in loving ones self or loving ones elf truly him that is would himself for himself his love to love him his fear to fear him his honour to honour him his knowledge to know him his wisdom to please him his goodness to be good his justice to be just his holiness to be holy his greatness greatly to exalt his power and his might to be mighty in power for him his mercy to be mercifull as he is mercifull for being by him Created for himself unto good works they would that all their works were good and all for him to live to him in him and for him for ever and for ever thus if they love themselves 't is for him it is to be his and to do his will on earth whilst on earth as they shall in Heaven when in Heaven 51. And all such are all True love inloving ones Neighbour or loving ones Neighbour truly full of true love for all their Neighbours and their Neighbours are all Men far and near Jew and Gentile bond and free all have their love they love all their condition makes no condition with them they desire and seek and pray for their happiness as for their own they mourn for them many times when they do not mourn for themselves yea they weep much and often in secret for their secret as well as for their open sins they are ashamed on their behalf because they choose not the way of life but still walk walk on still in the ways of death they have no Enemies but all are their friends their dear and beloved yea dearly beloved friends such as hate them they love such as curse them they bless such as speak evil of them they pray for and that God would lay none of their sins to their charge they account happiness to them even as their own happiness and rejoyce with them when they do rejoyce yea they would many times willingly and cheerfully part with their joys their best joys even their spiritual joys for their sakes that they might enjoy them they would be content to be as it were in darkness sorrow and sadness that they might be in the light see the light and rejoyce in the light of God's Countenance they would that they did enjoy these joys here to be brought home by any means to enjoy them for ever hereafter for those that love God whom they never saw must do and can do no other than love their brethren whom they see daily and those likewise whom they never saw because they are also their brethren 52. Such as love not God rightly which is to love him False love to God or loving God falsly as God love him for the Loaves not for his love for themselves not for himself for themselves alone or chiefly and not chiefly which is alone for himself they love him because they have need of him his love is lovely not because it is in him or because it is his love and for that it makes him thus lovely as to be only lovely and desirable but they love his love because it is in him for them they love him for Heaven much more than Heaven for him they do not love him because he hath so loved them as to make them lovely and forgiving them of his own love to love him in and with true love 't is not love that they truly love or value as it is love but as it is profitable a love bringing profit it frees from pain and gives ease it keeps from poverty and maketh rich because it delivers from dishonour and disgrace and graceth them and brings them much honour because it lifts them up above others and for that others are set below them they are the head and others are but the feet and because they have power over them and they obey their power going where ever they bid them coming when ever they call them and do what ever and all that they command them if God continue to give them thus his gifts and all that their hearts desire they will prize his love and desire his love and choose his love and delight in his love and love his love yea and serve him for his love but it is with an eye-service having an eye to this recompence of reward in the flesh and for the sake of the flesh they love not God as he is God and because he is God all good and only good but because he is a God thaâ— doth them this good which he so much loveth liketh prizeth chooseth and prayeth for were he not thus good unto him he would not think him good nor believe him to be good thus are they fleshly carnal loving the things of the flesh the things they see and enjoy and not the things which they see not nor cannot see which they enjoy not nor cannot be here enjoyed but should hope for 't is not a Heaven in Heaven nor a Heaven coming down from Heaven but a Heaven on earth an earthly Heaven yea a Heaven of earth that they desire choose and pray for and would that it were ever yea ever and for ever their Heaven thus 't is not God that they love because he is God but 't is themselves themselves they love as God chiefly most of all beyond all things and above all things and therefore they love not God at all because they love him not as God who is the supream chief Soveraign superiour and only good happiness felicity peace rest riches honour pleasure joy and blessedness 53. This is false Love though it be for our selves False love to ones self or loving ones self falsly
when we love our Selves only that is chiefly for our selves for our own sakes such desire Heavens joys to enjoy them because they are the greatest joys 't is not Heaven for God but God for Heaven that they would and that they mind they love the wages but not the work the Crown but not the Cross to reign with Christ and as Christ doth but not to suffer with Christ and as Christ did to wear his Crown of Glory but not his Crown of Thorns to live as he doth but not as he did to be his Servant in Heaven but not his Disciple on Earth to have the recompence of Reward there as a good and faithfull Servant but not to serve him here as a Son or a Servant they would willingly have their own will done both on Earth and in Heaven but not his on Earth no not for Heaven they would believe in him but not suffer for him they would live with him there but not dye with him here they fly many times from sin because of the pain woe grief and torment it will bring they fly from the punishment not from the sin they hate not sin as it is sin and because it is Sin for many times they love the sin which they commit not which they dare not commit and so they many times do good but not because it is good and for that it is the Command of God their delight is not to him nor his ways nor to the keeping of his Commandments but their delight is â—o delight themselves the end of all their aim and the aim of all their end is to please themselves and therefore if at any time they do good it is to do good to themselves 't is not for God's sake nor for goodness sake but for their own sakes for many times they do what they would not do and seem to love what they do not love and to hate what they do not hate they prefer the flesh to please the flesh and to enjoy fleshly pleasures before the pleasing of God and the enjoying of God and spiritual pleasures they prefer Communion with the Creature before Communion with the Creator and their own low base ends before his high holy great and glorious ends how dully droopingly faintly feebly coldly and sluggishly do they go about Gods work and service any thing that concerns his honour and glory what icy frozen benumm'd dead hearts have they thereunto though in the doing of all this it is to do for themselves to work for themselves and to serve themselves but how Ah how jollily cheerfully lively nimbly quickly ardently and hotly do they go about the things that no whit at all concerns God but themselves how stoutly strongly and vigorously do they wrestle for the world and the things of the world and to have a blessing of increase on their works and labour for the flesh but how ah how faintly cowardly and feebly do they wrestle with God in duties in prayer meditation hearing and reading the word of God as if they would not that blessing or at least cared not for it thus God's work and Soul work is to them of little concernment and when they do mind the Soul and Heaven it is because of its happiness they then seek God for Heavens sake but never Heaven for God's sake and even then when the Lord sends a fair wind with the breath and spirit of his grace into their hearts to hasten them forward to their place of rest and to make them to sail over the floods and tempests of tentations and waves of opposition yet then Ah then so selfish fond stupid and ignorant are they as they hoyse up all the Sayls they can to go against this sweet new fresh gale they row and tug and toyl to go back from their Port from their Haven Harbour which is so near them desiring not to come so soon to their journeys end they desire not so soon to end their journeying travel and pains in the flesh they prefer this travel and toyl and care before that peace and rest and ease and joy and though this all all this be but vanity and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit yet so contrary are they to God and his ways that they will none of them as long as they can these they gladly and willingly will put off that day for this nay though God do at times shew some of them Heaven as he did Paul and they behold things utterable and with Peter see the glory of the Lord which is unconcivable yet these foresights and fore-tasts being taken from them or they from it Ah how soon do they forget that ever they saw any such thing how soon how gladly willingly and cheerfully do they return to Egypt the place of their Captivity and joyfully and heartily feed on the Garlick and Onions yea on the husks that Swines feed on so much love they have to themselves as they forget God and that they were Created for him and unto good works to please and serve him such then as thus love or love thus are self-lovers only or chiefly and therefore not right or true lovers because they love not God rightly therefore not truly for he is to be beloved first of all most of all beyond and above all he being our only chief supream Soveraign superiour and best good all good being in him and flows only from him he containing all and being contained by none 54. But as for me O Lord as for me I know O Lord I know that there is none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee a Door-keeper O Lord a Door-keeper in thy House do I much prefer choose and embrace rather than to dwell in Tents or Tabernacles with the wicked with those that know thee not and that fear thee not I much rather Ah Lord thou knowest that I had much rather be afflicted and choose and prefer banishment poverty contempt disgrace imprisonment and death for thy sake and the Gospels as thy Servant rather yea much rather than to enjoy all these pleasures in the flesh these fleshly pleasures with the wicked any life O Lord and any death yea that life and that death in that place and condition as may bring thee most glory do I most humbly and unfeignedly beg in Jesus Christ and for his sake Ah Lord God I hast me unto thee I desire to flye into thee and to be found ever in thee yea though thou shouldest make all my life as Paul's and Peter's were when they saw and enjoyed in part those blessed joys prepared and laid up for the blessed yea though I could always see Heaven open as Stephen and thou O Lord my Jesus and my Christ standing at the right hand of God should not would not my heart heartily say with Simeon Lord now let thy servant depart in peace for mine eyes have seen thy great Salvation would it not cry out none but Christ none but
Christ and come Lord Jesus Ah come quickly and take me to thee to be ever with thee for though to me to live were Christ yet to dye would be great gain 55. Such and all such love falsly as love their Neighbours False love to our Neighbour or loving our Neighbour falsly for themselves only for the good they do them and for the benefit and advantage alone which they receive from them were it not for this good they would not care for them nor think of them nor pray for them nor wish or desire any blessing on them if they do at any time do them any good it is for the good that thereby they hope will accrue to themselves either of praise or profit otherwaies they would rather yea much rather their loss than their gain their dishonour than their honour and they would delight more much more to hear an evil than a good report of them and were it not that they want them or may want them that they stand them in stead they would rather yea much rather dis-serve them than serve them hurt them than do them good and though with their mouths they bless them yet in their hearts they curse them envying the very happiness that they pray for on their behalf they love them for their gifts not their gifts for them yea they love their gifts but not the givers of the gifts they love their gifts not because it comes from their love but because they are lovely that is because they stand them in stead they have need of them they should be in want if they did want them if they had them not they do not praise God on their behalf and pray for a double blessing on them for this their blessing of them if they wish or desire an increase of their substance and a blessing on their labours it is because they hope they will increase in doing them good in giving to them of their substance a blessing of their labours a part and portion of their profits and if they do not do so such will curse and not bless and would if they could take from them all that they have or seem to have for their love is self-love love only to themselves for themselves therefore false love loving falsly 56. I had much rather have no portion in the World than have the World for my portion 57. For I am sure the World never did nor never will make any rich and as sure that it hath and will make many Ah too too many poor 58. For many that have had and yet shall have great Portions of this Worlds good have nor shall have none of the good of Heaven for their Portion it 's hard for a rich man here to be rich there 59. And many that have no Portion in this World of this World have God and shall have God for their sure and everlasting Portion in the World to come 60. Ah happy yea thrice happy man that hath such a Portion there though he have none here what ever be his condition he is in a blessed condition for he shall be ever blessed blessed for ever and ever 61. But Ah miserable man who art only miserable that hath no Portion there what ever Portion he hath here yea though he abound in Corn and Wine and Oyl and all this Worlds good and glory 62. Give me Ah Lord give me any Portion in Heaven though but to be a door-keeper if I may but see thy face and hear thy Voice I care not though it be with the loss of all Portions here both of riches honours and pleasures 63. If thou givest me here O Lord but food and rayment how mean soever it be I will be content therewith and heartily thank thee and if thou givest me none I will thank thee for the time past and believe I shall want none for the time to come and that shall content me 64. Ah if the want of the World be so sweet when in its want we find no want how sweet then yea how much sweeter is Heavens fulness where is all fulness of all things and therefore no want at all of any thing 65. Ah how much better is it and how much greater gain to lose this Worlds all and gain Heaven then to gain this Worlds all and lose our part of Heaven which is Heavens all yea all Heaven 66. The Worlds loss with Heavens gain I shall not account any loss but all gain yea the greatest gain I can get but Heavens loss with all this Worlds gain I shall not account any gain but a great loss yea the greatest that I could or can sustain 67. He that loseth Heaven loseth all but he that gets only this Worlds all gets nothing even nothing at all 68. I will and always will account all losses gain to win Christ and all gain losses if I lose Christ 69. Let Christ then be my gain and I care not what losses I sustain 70. For this Worlds felicity is certain but a moment but the felicity or infelicity of the World to come is not uncertain any moment but certainly good or bad from the first to the last moment which last moment will be always alike as far off as it was the very first moment being ever ever 71. Give me then Ah Lord God that endless good felicity and happiness which is like thy self shall never change but endure for ever and not that which is like my self subject every moment to all change 72. Ah Lord thou knowest I would willingly most willingly change thus my life for death and then my death for life 73. That is my life of Sin for a death to sin to put all sin to death and then death for eternal life with Christ who is my life 74. Thou knowest O Lord also that I would willingly dye to live and live to dye 75. That is to dye to sin and live to grace live in all grace and dye to all sin that to me to live may be Christ but to dye gain yea that my life may be hid with Christ in God 76. I would willingly O Lord have thee mine all that I may give thee mine all and reserve from thee nothing at all 77. All Lord All I most willingly and unfeignedly give thee Ah that thou wouldest receive all and refuse nothing at all 78. For all Lord that 's mine is thine that is all that is good for the bad I renounce and give back also to him that gave it 79. All the World is nothing being all perishable therefore can be to nothing compared but to nothing 80. Ah what a pity is it that any man should be so sickle as to love such fickle things as are these below which to day are and to morrow are not 81. For is any thing lesser worser or lighter than vanity if any thing be or can be or if this Worlds things be any thing it is it which is so much vanity and so full
joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerfull Enemies and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on Earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the door of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfeigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choice above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more than all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our Delight End and Aim must be to delight him that is by walking well-pleasing unto him all the days of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be carefull and heedfull to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintain us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustain us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will fail us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of Men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would reign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns as he did here 129. He that would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinfull bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judge to acquit him there must judge and condemn himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christ's flock and be of his Fold and of his Sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after Holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to dye their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well-doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a Person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness always dwell within me that Heaven may be always within me and that I may be always in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven
brethren even with this true sincere and free love that they may for ever and ever enjoy that true and free Love of God which shall make them for ever free from all miseries and pains and of all pleasures and joys enjoying him who enjoyeth all things in himself from himself with whom is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at whose right hand are pleasures for evermore 199. Thus blessed and for ever blessed are all those that have this blessed Spirit of God for their Portion on Earth which shall lead them as the Sons of God unto God their Father and their Portion in Heaven who is the Portion the Father and the everlasting Rest of all the blessed 200. Ah blessed condition to be thus blessed by the Spirit of God yea by the God of all Spirits having hearts so full of true love and charity as to long labour and desire to have all others thus blessed with themselves and as themselves that are so full of the Love of God as to love all others as they love themselves and would have all beloved by him Ah holy Father increase this thy love in the hearts of all thy Children and Servants here on earth that we may together go hand in hand witnessing that the love wherewith we love one another is from thy Love and that we live in thee and thou in us who art all Love even the God of Love and that it is from thy Love and the living of thy holy and blessed Spirit in us that we thus love or love thus 201. Ah Lord God for thine own great glorious and holy names sake take not this thy Holy Spirit the Comforter from me but let it ever abide and dwell in me that I may always go forth before thee rejoycing as the Bride rejoyceth in her Bridegroom for thou O Lord knowest my many weaknesses and imperfections and that I cannot do any thing well pleasing unto thee without the assistance of this thy Holy Spirit for that my heart is all evil only evil and continually evil leave me therefore O Lord this thine holy and blessed Spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter that I may be ever led in the ways of all truth and holyness which may conduct me unto thy dwelling place which is all peace rest holiness blessedness and eternal life and happyness 202. Here followeth a short Admonition Exhortation or advice unto all careless sinners that prize not this life or living of Gods holy Spirit in them that they would no longer quench its motions but come out of their sins and taste and see how gracious the Lord is 203. Ah poor most poor and most miserable man for thou thou only art truly miserably poor that art Christless though thou aboundest in Corn Wine and Oyl though thou farest delicately every day and art arraied with Purple Scarlet and fine linnen though thou feedest on the delicacies of Egypt and enjoyest all this Worlds good the honours riches and pleasures thereof though thou lyest on the beds of Ivory and hast thy Palaces bedeckt with the Gold of Ophir and the precious Pearls and Diamonds of the Orient though Princes should be thy Servants and Kings Daughters thy Maidens yet remember for all this thou shalt dye and come to Judgment thine honour and thy riches shall not save thee but in the day of thy distress they shall take themselves wings and fly away from thee miserable comforters are all such comforts Ah put not put not thy trust then on such things as in a moment ere thou art aware shall be taken from thee or thou from them 204. Awake awake from the dead thou careless man why sleepest thou arise and Christ shall give thee light and life why Ah why wilt thou be so obstinate as thus wittingly knowingly and wilfully to neglect so great Salvation and be thus idle all the day long dost thou not know that the night is coming wherein no man shall work and the day when thou shalt say thou hast no pleasure in them Remember Ah remember thou that sleepest in security that drinkest in iniquity as water and vanity as with cart-ropes that sayest to thy Soul eat drink and take thy fill of pleasures and to morrow shall be as this day Ah thou fool when wilt thou be wise may not thy Soul this night be taken from thee whose then shall those things be and what Ah what shall become of all those thy vain pleasures and delights thou canst not carry any of them with thee but as thou camest into the World naked so thou shalt naked return from earth thou cam'st and to earth thou shalt again return thine honour shall not go down into the Pit with thee nor thy mony neither 205. Deceive not then Ah deceive not then thy self any longer with those vain things which are not that is they are not what they seem to be what they promise to be nor what we take them to be Serve no longer Ah be thou perswaded to serve no longer Devils lusts Worlds lusts or self lusts but serve Ah serve the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity and truth with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life that he may be still and still unto thee thy God and thy guide thy Sun and thy Shield thy peace and thy portion in the land of the living Neglect Ah neglect no longer nor put off no longer so sweet so certain and so great Salvation as those that are with God enjoy 206. Cast not Ah cast not his holy and divine Commandments behind thy back any more and trample not his precepts under thy feet and turn not his grace of love and mercy into wantonness Quench not Ah quench not the motions of his holy spirit by which thou art sealed unto the day of redemption but open quickly yea set quickly wide open the door of thy heart and let him in lest he depart from thee and swear in his wrath that thou shalt never enter into his rest and say unto thee as he did unto Jerusalem seeing that thou wouldst not be gathered unto me all my mercies shall be for ever hid from thine eyes and seeing that he would not that I should reign over him come slay him before me Ah who then who then shall be able to deliver thee from the wrath of the Lamb who is the Lyon of the Tribe of Judah he will tear he will tear thee in pieces in his anger and break thee even as a Potters Vessel is broken for none shall be able to deliver thee out of his hands nay all shall be against thee good and bad Angels Saints and sinners vea thine own self shall have indignation against thy self thine own eyes shall look evilly on thee thine own hands shall tear thee in pieces thine own thine own feet shall carry thee to the place of execution thine own thine own Conscience shall accuse and condemn thee and justifie Gods Righteous dealing towards thee thus thus shalt thou be there
love is thy self for thou art not only a loving God but a God of love and therefore thy love is as thy self had never beginning nor shall never have end 270. Ah blessed love that is thus durable and unchangable and happy yea thrice happy he that is thus beloved being sure to be beloved ever thus 271. If a man or woman in the flesh hath unspeakable joy pleasure and delight to be divorc'd from one which they hate beyond and more than any thing and are instead thereof marryed unto one which they dearly love yea which they love more dearly than any thing in the flesh 272. Ah what joyes Ah what delights and ravishing pleasures shall they have and have all they that shall be and are divorc'd from their old Husbands sin whom they hate as the Devil and fear and fly from as from Hell and are marryed unto their new new beloved Husband Christ Jesus whom they love above and more than all things as their lives as their souls yea as their Heaven for he is the life of their life the soul of their soul and the Heaven of their Heaven being their soul and bodies Eternal Everlasting rest peace portion happiness felicity and blessedness in Heaven for 273. There are no joys like to spiritual joys nor sorrow like to the spiritual mans sorrow when he mourns under that intolerable burthen of sin for a wounded Conscience who can bear 274. The unregenerate man cannot love sin and hate grace as the regenerate man loves grace and hates sin for he hath the love of God in him his Image of holiness and righteousness is renewed in him day by day he loves all his gifts and graces with his own love perfectly and so he hates all and every sin in thought word and deed which is in sincerity 275. The fleshly Voluptuous man cannot love the pleasures of the flesh as the spiritual man prizeth and loves and delights and rejoyceth in the pleasures of the spirit 276. The Wicked cannot hate the Righteous and the just so much as the just and the Righteous love the wicked though they detest abhor and hate all their sins for they know that a Saul to day may be a Paul to morrow c. They cannot see the inside of any nor know their hearts therefore they judge none but themselves knowing with what measure they mete it shall be measured to them again they also call to mind and remember what they were themselves in time past how they lived after the flesh and minded the things of the flesh c. And that where sin hath abounded graâ—â— shall much more abound that 't is by free grace that we are saved Eternal life is the gift of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and we are all unprofitable servants when we have done all 277. Sin then is opposite capital and grand Enemy to holiness as hatred is to love as darkness is to light as Hell is to Heaven as the Devil is to God 278. See then and consider how they are opposite and take notice of their contrary workings and in the end how and by what means it is that the good destroys the evil and is the Conquerour and the greatest 279. Sin is Eternal darkness and death Holiness is Eternal light and life sin shuts Heavens Gates and sets wide open Hells Holiness shuts the Gates of Hell aâ—d sets wide open those of Heaven sin wounds holiness heals sin casts down to Hell holiness raiseth up to Heaven sin kills holiness causeth to live the sinner hates God and all good and most of all God because he is good and because he is God yea because he is such a holy God as he is and he would that he were not that sin might be and might be free but the Saint or Regenerate loves all good and hates all evil and loves most of all God because he is God a holy and a just God all good yea because he is such a God as he is and as well for that he punisheth sin with Eternal death as because he rewardeth holiness with Eternal life after he hath given it with his free grace of his free will sin shall be ever in Hell as well as holiness for ever in Heaven the sinner in Hell shall be despighted because he lives to sin and cannot dye nor fly from sin and because that God lives and thus punisheth him with life and will not suffer death to have power over him he sees death to fly from him yea so far as it will never be nearer him than it is so that he shall ever live thus the Saints rejoyce to live because they live in God and for God a Saint loves God because he hath thus rewarded him by making him to live such a life as this that is to his praise and because God was ever thus and shall be thus ever he knoweth he shall be ever so also death is fled from him and shall be never nearer him than it is he knoweth he shall ever live thus that is be thus ever with God in God and see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is to possess him for ever and for ever 280. Thus then holiness and sin are Opposites and Enemies but holiness destroys sin as light doth darkness this eternal darkness of sin must vanish when this eternal everlasting light of holiness doth appear thus is it conquered and overcome because holiness is from God and sin from the Devil holiness from the Creator sin from the Creature holiness had never beginning nor shall never have end sin had a beginning and therefore not from the beginning the Devil then brought sin into the World but God who is holiness was so before time before that ever the World or the Devil was sin then is the lesser being from the Creature the worser being from the Devil holiness the greater being from the Creator the better being and proceeding from him that is all good and giveth all good to all to make them good all yea all good as himself for all the good that is in all the Creatures in Heaven and oâ— earth is from his good he filleth them all but emptyeth not himself at all he is still the same still full yea so full still as he overfloweth still into them from his own fullness and they though filled full yet do they still receive from his fulness without having in them any emptiness being always full from the very beginning that they are with him and yet are they continually receiving as if they were as well emptyed as filled thus doth our good gracious loving and merciful God satisfie us and resatiate us every moment giving us what we ask not what we want not what we know not and though he doth thus increase his blessings by blessing us yet doth he not suffer them to decrease in us when given us but we retain all hold fast all keep all rejoyce in all and give
and to do his will willingly 79. Ah Lord my only grief and trouble is because I keep not thy Laws and for that I have not regard to thy Commandments as I would 80. Ah that I were even as a barren wilderness to bear no fruit for my self and as a dry Spring to give no refreshment to my self to my own self that is my flesh Ah that I were as it were liveless and loveless to my self that I might only live to love and adore thee my God my God 81. What is my life or my self if it be not spent for thee and what are all my daies if I walk not only and altogether that is always in all thy ways 82. Were it not and would it not be much better for me that I were not and that I never had been if I be not O Lord thine and if I live not to thee and for thee to thy praise and for thine honour and glory 83. Beautiful are all thy ways O God they are most yea they are only desireable 84. He that walketh in them without wavering turning aside or going astray shall assuredly at last come to his journeys end to his long home to that harbour and haven of rest happiness eternal felicity and blessedness 85. To think on any thing out of or besides God brings no true solace joy savour or content 86. But to think on him as we ought how easily and quietly doth it dispel all other thoughts making us to see them as they are naked empty nothing 87. Thoughts on God fill the soul with joy delight and pleasure above and as it were even beyond end and measure 88. Good thoughts if they did no other good than keep out evil thoughts were they are they not to be accounted prized and valued as a great good 89. Thy presence O Lord at all times filleth me with all delights and pleasures and thy absence emptieth me even of all 90. When I have thee O Lord I have all I would have Ah but when I want thee I want all even all that my soul desireth that it doth love or crave 91. As I have and according as I have thee O Lord God so are my joys and according as I want thee so are my sorrows and grief 92. Thy drawing near doth not only comfort me and satisfie me but also ravish me But at thy departure or absence ah Lord thou knowest thou knowest how my heart quaketh trembleth and is full of doubts cares and fears 93. I cannot O Lord thou knowest I cannot live without the presence of thy holy Spirit who is my only comfort or comforter for when I want thee O Lord I want all good things yea I account nothing good 94. It is not the world that I long for or care for it is not O Lord the nether but the upper springs not the left-hand mercies but the right-hand not the footstool but the Throne favours that I esteem favours and mercies indeed 95. O Lord my Lord and my God do thou I beseech thee so possess my heart that I may only be possest with thee 96. O Lord be thou pleased so to live in me that I may only and always live to thee and for thee 97. Give O Lord give so thy self to me as I may give my self to thee 98. When I want thee my God who art my all and my only good I want all even all But when I have thee O Lord thou knowest my heart saith it hath all it hath all it hath all I would have all that it doth think on or desire or crave 99. How much nothing O Lord is all other things to thee And how much above all things O Lord art thou to me 100. Give me then thy self O Lord my Lord and I will always chearfully say I have all and that I desire nothing else at all but unless thou dost O Lord my God give me thy self thy only and thy very very self thou knowest that all things seem to me and are esteemed by me even as nothing as dirt as dung as dross 101. Thou knowest O God my God that I cannot live without thee and I desire only to live to live in thee to thee and for thee 102. Ah that I were dead to all things and all things dead to me that I might only be alive to thee 103. Oh that all things would take themselves wings and fly from me that I might not be kept back from flying up to thee my God my God 104. In thee O Lord there is true rest a rest of peace in truth but out of thee O God there is no rest for the soal of the foot of my soul 105. I cannot rest but on thy breast I cannot live but in thy Love I cannot walk but in thy way I cannot joy but in thy day I cannot run but unto thee I cannot see but only thee I cannot joy but in thy love I am not well but when above O God my God take me to thee That no other I ever see For seeing thee I see that all That ever was and ever shall That glorious Sun that blessed light That shews to go by day and night That giveth all things unto all That ever were and ever shall To thee O God and thy Great Name Be ever praise laud and great fame From this time forth for ever more Thy self thy love I will adore 106. How sweet O God Oh God how sweet are thy Sweets 107. Oh happy condition to enjoy thee O God whatever my condition be 108. O Heavenly heart that is always in Heaven meditating on thee God the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 109. Oh happy he that hath always Heaven in his mind that minds only Heaven and the things that are in Heaven 110. Such Ah such a heart O Lord who art the Lord of Heaven and Earth give me that my heart may be according to thine own heart yea that my heart may be in thine and thine in mine that thou mayest O Lord God so empty thy self into me that I may for ever and for ever be emptied into thee and filled by thee with thee 111. O Ocean of all goodness continue to shower into me the abundant showers yea floods of thine infinite good even as thou hast heretofore many many ah many times done that I may rejoyce and be glad in them as well when I have them not and feel them not as when I feel I have them 112. Ah Lord my Soveraign Lord and God my Superior and Supream good the good that is only able to glad me and to make me rejoyce fill me Ah fill me O Lord with these goods and good things that flow out continually from thee that I may see thy goodness thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary 113. Ah the true satisfactory soul-ravishing Joys to enjoy thee O God and those Joys that thou givest away away far from me all earthly Joys earths Joys for ye are but earth and
or think 27. The law of God is so written in his heart that with his whole heart he desires to keep his whole law 28. His joys are so great and his rejoycings so many that they make him even to suppose that he is in Heaven and to believe that Heaven is in him 29. He feels Gods loves to be so true and so truly nigh him as he values all love besides not worth the loving nor the thinking 30. His soul is so carried away aloft on this high Tide on this full Sea that he swims with ease pleasure delight joy and full contentment against all the streams and strong current of the worlds affections and the fleshes delights and desires 31. Though they were but a moment before so violent and strong that they carried him down even head long which scared and affrighted him so as if the time of deliverance had been far off he durst not Ah he durst not presume to imagine that such a calm was so nigh at hand sinful fleshly motions and affections did in a manner delight him that he even did as it were allow its raign and permit at least would almost have conniv'd and wink'd at the beginnings of evil though he well Ah though he well and clearly foresaw the Consequences to be very great and greatly dangerous 32. But on a sudden Ah on a sudden how did Ah how did all these tentations vanish away how slighted Ah how much slighted how trampled on Ah how much trampled on how cast aside Ah how cast aside how trampled and trodden under feet how soon Ah how soon was the memory thereof forgotten and how sweet Ah how sweet was its forgetfulness delightful its divorce and joyful its destruction 33. And how willing Ah how willing O Lord God thou only knowest that soul is that thus possesseth thee and is possest by thee to live Ah ever to live in this possession and to be for ever and thus ever possest by thee 34. The worlds chief joys are then but meer and foolish toyes he would not no nor cannot give a look on them they are so barren so unfruitful so empty so sottish so brutish to such an enlightned understanding that he cares not to understand nor consider what they are 35. Ah how how doth he wish it might be ever thus with him and that he might be thus ever senceless and dead to the worlds all and account all iâ—s all always nothing at all nay make no account of it no not so much as think of it 36. When that the soul is Ah when that the soul is thus wrapt up in Gods love when she is thus emptied as it were into him and filled with him how is she Ah how is she at rest and ease how calm how tranquil how quiet how rich how honourable and how refresht and delighted how hath she Ah how hath she all her desires and doth not nor cannot desire more Ah what peace what felicity and what praises and giving of thanks how doth she Ah how doth she forget the evil that is past and rejoyceth in the good that is present 37. How is the world and the things of the world cast out of doors and how Ah how are the doors of all his affections opened to let in his God to enjoy him and to make him his all and his only joy 38. Ah my God goe on goe on my God my God to Conquer Triumph and prevail over all the lusts and affections which are yet within me unsubdued uncast out unthrone them O Lord unthrone them and trample them all O Lord all both the great and the small under thy feet in the greatness of thy wrath and fury that they may be utterly destroyed and never more come near me to hurt me or destroy my poor soul who cleaves to thee who sticks fast to thee who desires to hold thee and never Ah never to let thee go Ah that I could that I could thus live with thee and in thee ever and depart from thee never O Lord never never see Psal 28. 39. Great is the goodness of the Lord to those that fear his name And to all those that keep his laws and delight in the same For they shall see him with great joy and shall his honour speak Their joy shall be to laud his name and he shall make them great 40. Oh give your selves to me saith he and I will be your guide And you shall in my Laws remain for I will you delight To walk in them you shall have hearts for all your joy shall be To live to praise my holy name the Lord of Hosts saith he 41. Go forth with joy both ev'ning and morn and let your praise redound Oh clap your hands and greatly joy for that you have him found For having him you have that all that mighty all always There is none else deserves like fame as his Eternal praise 42. O come into his Courts always and therein rest you still Be glad and mightily rejoyce when that you do his will To do thy will is all my joy and all that I desire Ah give me grace to do it still and nothing else require 43. Ah great God how great is thy love and how lovely Ah how lovely is thy greatness 44. What have I Ah Lord my God what have I when I have thee not and what have I not when O Lord God I have thee 45. How low Ah how low are all these high things here below to those high most high and glorious things of Heaven which the soul enjoys even here on earth in the flesh when that it hath Communion with God and enjoys him in the Spirit 46. Of what and how little account and esteem doth he account and esteem of all Companies of Friends Children Father Mother or the Wife of his bosome when he can or may enjoy the company of his God he will not nor cannot then consent to converse with flesh and blood when he may when he can by the spirit through the spirit speak to God and hear him answer him Ah how the soul at such time is satisfied delighted ravished filled and comforted how quiet how peaceable how willing chearful and glad to obey all his will 47. And how detestable hateful loathsome ugly filthy and abominable at such times especially are all lusts all affections worldly and fleshly are all sins of any rank though never so little though never so sweet near or dear he hates all both the great and the small 48. When that a soul enjoys that blessed blessedness of Communion with God it will not Ah it will not have Communion fellowship or converse with any other Creature or thing he will not mind any thing else nor suffer any thing else to come into his mind 49. He is then so stuft as it were and so full filled with God and the joys of his grace that he is divorced emptied and outed as it were of all other things yea all
yea though a man could know more than Adam or Solomon knew though he could know all things that are and that perfectly too that are out of God and besides God what Ah what were all this learning knowledge or wisdom but folly meer foolishness in comparison of the knowledge of the Spirit Spiritual knowledge to know in Spirit and in Truth Jesus Christ and him crucified to be our Christ and our Jesus Paul accounted all other wisdom folly to this and so blessed be our God do I he desired to know no other thing but only this one thing no more do I Let all other knowledge in me perish so this augment and continue I shall not I am sure grieve be sad repine nor sorrowful for its loss come when it will come and Ah that it were come if God so would 85. Thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love is the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven there can be nothing more lovely or desirable either there or here Let me O Lord I beseech thee never leave sighing after it longing for it nor desiring to enjoy it untill I do enjoy it with thy self in thy self by possessing thy blessed most blessed self O sweet Jesus who art all blessings and all blessedness 86. One look of Love from Christ will make a man willingly and cheerfullly to cast aside to cast away all things that hinder his loving of him though never so lovely or lawful near or dear unto him for his Love will constrain only to love him again 87. But how then Ah how then doth and will that Soul love him that seeth and knoweth always that he is beloved by him he is fed with his Love yea continually feasted with his Love he is cloathed with his Love all his garments are Love his treasure is his Love his honour is his Love and his Love is all his pleasure and his delight he sees his Love in all things that he sees that he enjoys he is continually with him and this his sweet amiable and blessed presence of Love his most loving presence he cannot be without when he hath him not thus nigh him he seems to want all things and when he hath him thus he hath all things and wants nothing 88. Such a Soul rowleth dependeth and always rejoyceth his heart is only made glad by his delightful approaches and indwellings so as he esteemeth no life like to this life of living in him to him and sor him and when Ah when all other Subjects and Objects how loving or lawful soever at other times are outed of his mind memory heart and affections how glad is he how doth he rejoyce and leap and skip and sing for joy that he is with him alone that he enjoyeth him only that nothing hinders nor molests their sweet Intercourse their sweet Imbraces their mutual Delight Joy and Love 89. Love cannot endure to be molested when it hath what it would have there is none so rich so happy so honourable as he that is thus loved by God and lives always in his love and is by him from his love made to walk worthy of his love for such is Gods love that he accepteth the willing will that is in us for the working deed when that it is upright true real and sincere 90. On Christ the King of love the soveraign tye and chain of love thy love is so lovely so shining so transpiercing so bright so burning so conquering so consuming that all other loves are consum'd at the very approach of thy love at thy coming they fly away they are not heeded minded remembred nor thought on any more nay to forget them all what ever they be bringeth joy even such joy as is unspeakable for then the soul and body and all the faculties and members thereof are filled with thee and thy joys which are such as no tongue can tell nor no heart conceive thou dost so much excel O Lord thou dost so much excel as thus to enjoy thee Oh thou our Soveraign best and superiour good the soul answereth Ah let it thus be ever with me let me be thus ever with thee O Christ with thee with thee let me Ah let me never go from thee be absent from thee for there is nothing in Heaven that I desire like unto thee or in all the Earth in comparison of thee make me but as one of thy hired Servants that I may always hear thee see thee and abide in thy blessed most blessed presence for in thy presence is always all joy unspeakable joy yea fulness of all joy that is unspeakable and from thy right hand flow continually all pleasures for evermore 91. Thus is the soul wrapt up in Christ that enjoys him he asks he seeks esteems prises nor desires no other joys no other Heaven no other happiness no other blessedness than thus always to enjoy him he is at rest at ease he hath all that he would have that he can ask or crave yea much above all that ever he did ask or think so much is Christ above all things and more than all things to them and to all them in whom he liveth in love and loveth to live and the soul breatheth out for more of his love that it may love him more and more 92. Look O man into this Glass and thou shalt plainly A spiritual soul Looking-glass or a glass to see the soul whether it be Spiritual or Carnal see thy inner man the heart of thy soul or the soul of thy heart whether it be or not a heart according to Gods heart or a heart according to thine own heart and the Devils thou shalt plainly see whether thou art Carnal or Spiritual dead in sin or alive by grace a faithful Servant of Jesus Christ or a slave to thine own vile base lusts and affections of sin and Satan whether thou art a Member of Christs Mystical body betrothed unto him by grace or still a Member of Satans vile body made one with him by sin whether or no thou hast the divine nature in thee or still remainest in thine own fleshly sinful wretched nature and this thou mayest easily see and know by examining of thine affections what thou lovest most prizest choosest delightest in thinkest on and esteemest most what is most the end of thy aim and the aim of thy end after what thou most runnest pantest breathest gapest hungrest and thirstest after what is most in thy thoughts yea what thou makest thy thoughts most what are thy inward longings if thou choosest all his ways freely and universally the hard and rough to the flesh as well as the easie pleasant and deligthful and that with pleasure and delight and rejoycest to walk in them and to make them and to make them thy delight if his yoke be to thee easie and his burthen light if it be thy meat and drink to do all his whole and holy will on earth as it is done in Heaven if it be the Heaven that
thou desirest on this side Heaven thy earthly Heaven thy Heaven on earth to do his whole and holy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Consider 93. Art thou born again not in the flesh but in the spirit that is transformed changed and made a new Creature throughout in spirit soul and body in thought word and deed are all old things put away wholly and totally cheerfully and willingly with consent delight applause joy rejoycing and thanksgiving and are all things become new hast thou a new mind new heart new desires new endeavours new will and affections at all times in all places companys and things throughly seriously circumspectly faithfully sincerely ardently continually and universally that is prevailingly against all sinful fleshly desires lusts and affections dost thou find all evil inclinations mortified have they all received a deadly wound do they all stink in thy Nostrils as they do in Gods and are they all loathsome unto thee as they are unto him and detested by thee with thy whole heart as by God that is in truth and sincerity of heart and as well and as much secret airy vain foolish thoughts that disturb thy peace and thy Communion with God as open sins so that Gods nature divine Image and resemblance is most of all dear pretiouâ— and delightful unto thee and thou labourest with tooth and nail to preserve it with a continual heedful watchful careful care so that to do good is habitual in thee yea as it were natural it is all thy delight joy rejoycing end and aim dost thou heartily hate all the former evil that was in thy heart loathing detesting and abhoring the sins of thy life heretofore thy heretofore sins are all their sweets become to thy tast bitter as gall and wormwood are all their pleasures altogether unsavory unpleasant and so loathsome as thy very heart riseth against them and loatheth the very thoughts of them do they appear unto thee all both the great and the small in their own black colours filthy and ugly hue is there no one lull'd in thy bosome hugg'd in thine arms embraced in thine heart pleasant in thine eye sweet to thy tast or winkt or connived at as a small one or but as one as a dear one even near and dear as a right eye or a right hand but are they all both great and small known or unknown secret as well as open like unto thee exceeding yea above measure loathsome and sinful dost thou watch against them always and not suffer any one when he peeps in to come in dost thou fly from them all as thou would'st do from the Devil from Hell and from the greatest of Gods Judgment and Eternal wrath are they to thee as a Hell yea as the worst of Hell in Hell dost thou feel the burthen of but one sin though not committed altogether willingly or with delight to be heavier than the whole earth and had'st rather have all the Rocks and Mountains in the whole world to fall on thee to lye upon thee than one willing sin committed to lye upon thee and is sin thus hated loathed detested and abhorred by thee because it is sin because it is a breach of Gods holy Laws and divine Commandments which are altogether all holy just and good because they disturb thy peace and thy communion with God and are contrary to thy nature in truth as to Gods nature and because they make thee to lose thine image and likeness of God and Christ and converse with the Spirit of grace who is thy sole and souls comfort and comforter and for that they make thee vile in Gods eyes and disobedient unto him for whom thou art and wert created and for whom and unto whom thou desirest to live to love to fear to honour and to obey for ever and for ever 94. Art thou conformable to Christ thy head thy husband thy Lord and thy King Doth he wholly raign and rule in thy heart with consent applause delight joy and rejoycing and in and over all the faculties of thy soul and members of thy body Art thou holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect that is sincere in truth truly sincere in all thy actions and affections Art thou within as thou seemest to be without and dost thou labour much more to be approved applauded esteemed and honoured by God and in his sight than by men and in their sight Dost thou stick only to him cleave to him and hold him fast with true faithful sincere ardent continual and loving embraces and choosest him only for thy choice for thy chief Superiour best and soveraign good for thy Heaven for thy happiness and for thy felicity peace rest and blessedness Is there nothing in Heaven so dear and pretious unto thee as is thy God thy Christ nor in all the earth in comparison of him Dost thou much more love Heaven for God than God for Heaven 95. Is Jesus Christ become to thee so great gain as for his sake thou carest not what loss thou dost sustain Temporal or Spiritual so that thou mayest live the life of the righteous to his praise honour and glory Thou carest not what be thy condition nor where thy place of abode be nor with whom nor what be thy life nor what thy death be though poor hunger-starved full of scabs botches and sores from the crown of the head to the soal of the foot like unto Job or Lazarus so as there be no whole place in thee and though thou shouldst be as they were defamed vilified condemned cast out scoffed at mocked lye in the dust on a dunghil be fed with the dogs yea refused what is given them even the very Crums that fall under other mens Tables yea though thou shouldest be banished imprisoned persecuted scourged whipped tormented rackt torn by wild horses consumed by fire or drown'd in the depth of the Sea 96. Canst thou choose any of all these yea all these and all other afflictions whatsoever willingly chearfully and joyfully for Christs sake and the Gospels rather than deny thy faith thy hope thy love rather than commit any sin rather than do the least evil with consent approbation liking or choice Is Christ better to thee than all things Canst thou truly cordially and sincerely say that thou hast nothing so dear and near to thee as Christs Honour Crown and Glory is And whatever be thy Portion here below of these high low things thou canst willingly with all thy heart and will go from them all or be content that all things be taken from thee Houses Lands Goods Kindred Friends Father Mother Wife Children and what else desiring much rather by much to hold fast thine integrity with the loss of all these than hold fast these and lose thy love thy light thy life which is thy Jesus 97. Wouldst thou much rather chose affliction any affliction yea all afflictions Temporal and Spiritual on body and soul as
in us What ah what so sweet as to feed continually on these true heavenly sweets here on earth which are the very sweets of Heaven in Heaven 108. I do now wonder that any man hath or can have any peace a moment that hath not his peace made sure or a sure peace made with God 109. All other quiet ah how unquiet will it prove in the end that is not founded or grounded on this sure foundation or ground of Gods love in Jesus Christ 110. I wonder Ah I wonder men are not as it were continually torn in pieces with sears and cares till all these sears are taken away by a lively living Faith and their whole cares cast on Christ 111. I wonder Ah I wonder that terrors do not always terrifie them that Hells torments do not affright and amaze them until that they have a sure and certain confidence that Christ hath redeem'd them from it 112. I wonder yea I much wonder that any man can call any thing else a good thing but only this one thing that is so good even Christ's goodness and that he is mine and that I am his even bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and that I am sure he hath so loved me as to give himself for me to dye in my place and stead So that I am now reconciled thereby unto God who is become my Father and my God 113. I wonder Ah I much wonder now that any man can desire to live any other life or dye any other death than to God and for God 114. I wonder now yea I now do very much wonder that all men do not seek this one thing necessary so necessary to give up themselves even all their all unto God by good works and a holy life to live to him only by whom they only live and for whom only they are and were created 115. I wonder Ah I wonder now that any other life can give or should give us any or the least pleasure for thus to live in for and to God is only to live and he that thus lives lives only and none but such do live for those and all those that live not unto God are dead though they be alive yea though they do live 116. The worst of men and all men and at all times wish to dye the death of the righteous as Balaam did but few Ah few sincerely desire to live the life of the righteous for if they would they might and be assured to their eternal and everlasting joy that if they did so live they should so dye and then so live with God and in God eternally 117. Ah let us then not only desire but also earnestly labour and endeavour so to live in this life as we would live in the after life when this life shall be no more and to hate sin and love righteousness now as those do and shall then and as we shall likewise if we live in God with them and he that so loves and hates here shall ever live in Love for ever hereafter 118. Let us love the Lord heartily in all things and for all things knowing assuredly that all things that he doth unto us are in Love 119. Therefore if the Lord strike me I will rejoyce in it because it is his hand doth it yea I will therefore mightily rejoyce 120. What ever the Lord doth unto me I will rejoyce mightily in it because he doth it and because he doth it unto me therefore I know it is best for me and I know that his end in it is to make me to rejoyce 121. Strike then O Lord strike strike and spare not either on my body or Soul goods or good name when thou wilt where thou wilt and in what manner soever thou wilt I am ready most ready and most willing to praise thee to laud extol and magnifie thee and to declare that so I would have it yea that I would only have it so for thou knowest O Lord my heart and therefore that with my heart I heartily desire to be and have what thou wilt have me to have and to be thy will O God thy good will and not mine let be always done in me and upon me 122. I desire to live in God only that I may only live to and for his glory 123. To glorifie God is true glory the glory only which is true 124. To possess God is true riches the riches only which is true 125. To get God is to get all for all things else are nothing nothing yea nothing at all 126. To be with God is to be free for all things Lord are still in thee 127. Thou art that all that only all that ever was and ever shall 128. I have nothing wherein to boast but in the Love and Mercies of my God and of his Mercies and Love I am resolved ever to boast 129. He that possesseth God possesseth all things that he would possess and careth not nor asketh not nor regardeth not any other possessions 130. He that feareth God rightly feareth no other fears how dreadful or fearful soever they be no not his many great fearful sins nor death the King of terrors and fears 131. He that enjoyeth God hath all the joyes he would enjoy or can desire to have for to him God is much more by much than all and above all things that can be enjoyed 132. He that loveth God truly and rightly hath all that he loveth because he loveth nothing like him or in comparison oâ— him either in Heaven above or on the Earth beneath 133. He that pleaseth God by walking wellpleasing before him hath and he can desire no other pleasures for to keep his Laws is all his delight and the only thing that bringeth joy to his heart and that feasteth his Soul with marrow and fatness yea with all pleasant things 134. He that thus giveth up himself to God and acknowledgeth him for his all shall have of him here as well as hereafter much I say much above all that he is able to ask or think 135. He that only willeth Gods will hath always his own will at all times in all places and conditions 136. He that giveth himself to God may be sure that God hath given himself unto him more sure and therefore all that God hath is his 137. He that would no other good but God hath God and therefore all good for he that hath God sure hath all things else sure he may be sure for in him are all things and from him come all things therefore to him alone and unto none else be only all honour and all glory for ever and for ever 138. Ah what a blessed yea most blessed Heaven is it to walk in the ways of God which will assuredly lead us and bring us to the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 139. To possess God we must dispossess our selves of our selves 140. To be filled with God we must empty our selves of our whole selves 141.
To have God we must hate our selves that is all even all that is not of God 142. To see God we must put out our own eyes and not see with them but with his eye only only with his 143. To feel God he must be in us and we must be in him 144. To know God we must first know our selves as we are in our selves then Ah then shall we have our eyes opened to see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is by faith from love 145. To hear God we must resolve to be obedient unto him then shall we surely hear his sweet still voice even of his own spirit within us saying Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven thee I am thy God and I will be thy God and thy guide for ever and for ever 146. To fear God is to walk uprightly in all his ways esteeming them all holy just and good 147. How Ah how doth the heart of a Child of God open and shut pant and gape hunger and thirst grieve and groan after the goodness of God which is after his likeness to be like him for it cannot else be satisfied no not with all things not with Heavens all or that is on the earth for God only is all his good 148. I had much rather by much have the grace to please God than the grace of spiritual comfort rather have the grace of Sanctification than of Consolation 149. Let me get and keep my God with the loss of all and I will account it no loss I say no loss at all 150. The world 's all is nothing I say nothing at all to God our all who is only all even all only that is or can be desired 151. Surely surely the very soul of Religion is to serve God sincerely and heartily with our whole hearts and souls 152. For a little Ah for a very little which we give to God he giveth much to us let us not be niggards then if we will or desire to have him bountifull unto us and recompence our little with his much our small with his all 153. No man surely no man ever lost or repented for giving too much to God or for doing too much for him for every mite we rightly give a Talent at least we shall receive thus to love and fear the Lord in truth is true wisdom 154. Ah the happiness the unspeakable great and true happiness to possess God and to be possest by him if then so great here Ah how great shall it be and will it be hereafter if the beginning here bring such unspeakable joys how unspeakable will they be when begun there where we know they will never pass away or have an end 155. I had much rather by much have God with me and in me and feel it and know it and have nothing else than to have him and not feel him and have all that my heart doth or can else desire 156. When Ah when I am in his presence I am so satisfied to the full that I ask after no other satisfaction all other things are not regarded no nor thought on but thought altogether unworthy to be thought on or in the least regarded 157. Possess then Ah possess then O God my God who art all my good my whole heart mind thoughts and affections that I may be all thine and none but thine always thine and ever thine even wholly thine until that thou hast made me such as thou wilt have me to be which is holy as thou art holy pure and perfect as thou O God art even in all things in some measure like unto thee so be it O Lord God so be it Amen and Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1659. 1. IF thou art O God my God I am sure thou wilt be my guide and if thou art my guide O God I am sure thou art my God 2. If O God thou goest with me I am sure that all will go well with me but if thou goest not with me I am sure that what ever I do will be ill with me and for me 3. If thou art mine O God if thou art mine I am sure I am and shall be ever thine but if thou art not mine so sure even so sure it is that I am not thine 4. If I have thee O God for my God I have all I need to have but if I have thee not I have nothing thou knowest of all that I desire and crave 5. Let me then so find thee that I may feel thee in me and feeling may rejoyce with that unspeakable joy which they only feel and find that have found thee and fed on thee 6. Let all things else what ever they be pass away do but thou O God with thine own spirit abide in me I say ever abide in me and I shall I am sure rejoyce and be glad that they be all banisht what ever they be and that it be said of them all they are not they are not at all 7. Let me then O God my God so have thee possess thee find feel and enjoy thee that my heart may be always upright before thee and transform'd and conform'd like unto thee even according to thine own heart holy pure perfect spotless and unblameable that thou mayest henceforth and for ever always and ever own me for thine own 8. I love truth in all things it is only truth that makes all things unto me lovely for where truth is there we may safely and truly say that God is for God is truth 9. Let O God always truth abide in me and I in truth 10. Truth is my joy truth is my delight truth is my food truth is my life truth is to me a continual feast of myrrh mirth and gladness truth always gladdeth my heart and makes it to rebound upward to skip and leap as a Kid on the Mountains and as a Lamb on the Hills 11. Truth is to me as a pretious Oyntment an eye salve it is a healing and a comforting to me always 12. Truth brings down as it were Heaven unto me and carrys me up again into it 13. Truth speaks loud in the ears of my soul and fills it with joy and continual and abundant rejoycings 14. Truth warmeth my heart at all times keepeth the fire of love joy and peace alive that it never goeth out 15. Truth is a Balm to heal all sores to fill up all scarrs to make us without blemish fair and beautifull 16. Truth never grows old but is always young strong and tender it keeps us fast to him and him fast to us whom only we desire to hold fast and never to let go 17. Truth hath power to weaken all that is amiss in us to bring it under until it be conquered finally and destroyed totally 18. Truth inflames our hearts that they are as a fire newly kindled which cannot easily be quenched 19. Truth aboundeth over all and makes us to abound likewise so that we
with thy blessed fulness and be for ever separated and divorced from and out of all things that is not of thee that we may henceforth lead such holy lives in all our doings dealings and conversations so that after this life ended we may with thee and in thee O God our only good live that everlasting life of peace rest joy solace and full contentment that shall never ah that shall never know end So be it O Lord God Almighty so be it Amen and Amen 90. Ah Lord give me this grace to hate sin all sin though there were no punishment due unto it and sincerely to love vertue and grace though there were no reward for it hate the one because it is hateful in it self and love the other because it is in it self lovely 91. O Lord let my love be true for thee as thine is I am sure for me 92. Let my love O Lord be hot for thee as I am sure thine is for me 93. Let my love be strong for thee as I am sure thine is O Lord for me 94. Let my love be sincere for thee as thine is O my Lord I am sure for me 95. Let my love be continual O Lord God for thee as I am sure thine is and shall be for ever for me 96. All the things out of God and besides God are to a true believer but as husks but as the shell but as dry bones c. But all things in God are the pith without the husk are the kernel out of the shell are as marrow out of the bone they are truly savory and sweet much more desirable and to be desired than gold yea than much fine gold and the most pretious pearls 97. He thaâ— is in God and finds God in him that is the life of Christ within him Christ which is holiness to be writ on his heart esteemeth himself rich in the greatest poverty for he knoweth that all things are his he still carrieth about with him that unspeakable treasure that unpusible treasure that will make him truly rich wise and honourable to all Eternity and with this riches he maketh many rich though such a one be despised he mocketh at their laughter and mockings and sincerely desires and wisheth that they had changed their estates for such an estate as will make them surely and truly for ever rich 98. He that possesseth the riches of God his spirit esteemeth the wisdom of the wise according to the flesh that is humane fleshly wisdom to be but meer foolishness the treasures of the world though it were even all this worlds treasure to be but meer trash and all its honours and pleasures to be but meer emptiness shadows outsides nothing and can be all fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 99. Let me have thee O God always and I will always say as Jacob did when he had thee I have all and I am sure I shall never lack any thing at all for this life or the life to come for thou art O God more than all that is either in Heaven above or on Earth below 100. He that possesseth God thus hath in some measure Gods likeness which is holiness within and without and that bringeth true contentment and he that is truly contented wanteth nothing but possesseth much more by much than he which if it could be should possess all the whole world its riches honours and pleasures thus the man that liveth in God knoweth findeth and feeleth and therefore rejoyceth with unspeakable joy and this his joy as no man knoweth so no man can take it from him it is the gift of God yea it is the gift God 101. What Ah what heart is able to conceive or tongue express the joys Ah the joys the joys that he enjoyes that thus enjoys God how how Ah how doth he rejoyce and triumph having got such a Victory having got such a Crown of glory such a glorious most glorious Crown put on his head much finer than the finest gold and brighter than the clearest Pearl or Diamond thus faith makes such souls triumph without controul they are so fully filled with those rivers of pleasures that flow from Gods own right hand 102. Thou art O God thou art and there is none else none besides thee God blessed for ever give me I most humbly beseech thee if it be agreeable unto thee those joys continually that I may Ah that I may continually fear thee that I may continually love thee that I may continually serve thee and more and more O Lord much by much give up my self spirit soul and body unto thee to worship and to adore thee the greatness of thy goodness and the goodness of thy greatness which is so incomprehensible and without end Ah Lord I leave my self with thee leave thou thy self with me I desire thou knowest never to go from thee go not then I beseech thee from me but let me be all thine and always thine from this time forth and for ever more Amen So be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 103. The glory of my glory is that thou hast O God created me for thine own self for thine own glory 104. Swallow me up so in thy self that all things out of thee and besides thee O God who art my best good may be swallowed up that is consumed that all mine may be all thine and thee and thine mine 105. I would much rather by much that God should keep from me the greatest comforts than not to see and know my failings and fallings 106. Ah Lord the sight and knowledge of my failings and fallings causeth thee to have thoughts of good for me to send me comfort by restoring me to thy wonted favour and by giving me repenting grace pardoning grace and preserving grace 107. By seeing my failings and my fallings thou pitiest me O Lord because I am in so pitifull a case 108. Ah Lord let thine eyes be always open and watch thou over me to see me in what case or condition soever I be 109. I was indeed I confess heretofore ashamed and afraid that thou should'st and did'st see me and know me I was so vile and filthy and finding no true love in me for thee I thought O Lord that thou had'st none in thee for me but that thou did'st hate me because indeed I was altogether hateful But now I know and for which I heartily and sincerely desire ever to praise thee that thine anger is turned away and that thine hand is stretched out still over me to preserve protect defend maintain and to do me good 110. So that what I thought was my ill I now know is my greatest good that thou seest me O God that thou always seest me and I would not but that thou did'st always see me as well when I am in my sins in my worst case and condition as when at the very best because at the very best thou canst see I acknowledge and sincerely confess nothing in me that
only his thoughts is on any sin though never so small or never so liâ—â—le if in the least measure consented unto it robs him at that time of all his happiness his sight is darkned his eyes are so dim that he cannot look up sin is so heavy so devilish that it presseth the Soul downward to Hell to the Devil which plainly shews its Center whence it is and what it is for the time that it is thus liked or loved or but connived at it metamorphoses the Soul and makes it instead of being God-like Spiritual Knowledge Light Purity Serenity Peace Rest Comfort Joy and full contentedness to be in some measure Devil-like darkness fear shame horror confusion condomnation accusation hanging yea falling always downward and not able in the least measure to look upward or to hope or to think or to believe this is the nature of sin and of the man that is in sin to be heavy dull faint coward swallowing down and giving it self up unto all fears horribly ashamed and confounded being darkness even black thick darkness darkness it self and miserable ignorance which I take to be the greatest and sorest evil of all to be deprived of this Heavenly flower of this Heavens beauty of knowledge to see and know our blessed estates of being in God and Gods being in us which is perfect full whole and entire blessedness therefore the contrary ignorance black thick ignorance must needs be the contrary the puddle the filth and excrement of Hell in it self as it were entire full whole compleat and perfect cursedness and misery 123. Ah Lord God how great how transcendent magnificent wonderfully exceeding and unspeakably great is thy bountiful goodness in giving and forgiving what thou givest and forgivest especially unto me despicable poor vile me the first chiefest and greatest of all sinners and the very worst of the worst of all men how Ah how my Soul doth desire unfeignedly at this time to prize and praise thee I know that thou knowest And Ah that I could tell and shew forth how and what thou hast at this very time done for me in opening mine eyes to see and know and comprehend in some measure and understand what it is to be in thee to partake of thee and to be swallowed up into thee and in a little though very little dark measure to know thee but clearly to see feel and know that I am comprehended of thee that is that thou art mine and that I am thine Ah Lord suffer not I beseech thee that the ignorance which I am sure that sin brings with it take away from me this glorious portion of knowledge to know and feel and see my self in thee and that thou art and all thine mine Ah Lord let this light of thine which is thy self always shine in me that by it I may be kept from the black thick darkness of sin ignorance and errour and that I may not hence forth walk in those ways which lead unto such deep destruction as to eclipse weaken darken much less put out or destroy this glorious beam of thy most glorious light which through thy free most free grace and mercy in Jesus Christ thou hast at this time caused so brightly clearly transparently and fully to shine upon me Ah Lord let this glorious Light of thine always continue in me that I may always see my self in thee and thee in me and know thee to be mine and that I am thine that thereby I may be inabled to tell of and to set forth thy praises and that thou art such a God as thou art and to be desired and sought after only being only the desirable and the desired And grant that the remembrance of this thy Love and gracious dealing with me at this time may never be forgotten by me nor slip out of my mind but that I may always have it in remembrance that it may be as a strong Tower and Bulwark against all and every temptation that shall at any time fall upon me and that hereby I may be made more and more able to resist every lust and sin whether in thought word or deed to hate it and fly from it as the greatest of all evils as the fire of Hell and the worm of Conscience esteeming it the very worst of the worst of the Devil Let it I most humbly beseech thee O our Father in Jesus Christ strengthen and augment my resolution and hatred against all and every sin as well against the least of all as the very greatest of all that I may more and more see all sin to be exceeding sinful the bane ruine destruction and destroyer of all good blessedness and happiness Ah Lord hear me and answer me in Jesus Christ and continue thus graciously to go along with me to be always by me and to watch over me that no evil at any time either in thought word or deed overtake me or come nigh me to hurt me to the end I may walk before thee with a perfect and upright heart doing always all that is right in thy sight that thou mayest O Lord more and more delight in me the work of thy hand and in some measure I hope trust and believe in Jesus Christ the joy of thy heart and that thou wilt graciously own me for thine own and never be ashamed to be called my God for Christ my Soul doth and shall always bless thee and to him with thine own most glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace the Sanctifier and Comforter be always and eternally given Honour Gloey Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen 124. God he waiteth to be gracious to bring deliverance to his children and servants as they wait for the grace of deliverance 125. Thus is our God good gracious and merciful sympathizing with us in our afflictions as well as in our comforts 126. Thus is our God a most gracious God The God of all grace and Father of all mercies always doing good never weary repenting or standing still 127. His fountain of Love favour grace and mercy is not only always open for us but always running over flowing out to run into us he is abundant in loving kindness yea his delight is to be always doing good he would that we would always ask that he might always give 128. It is not possible but impossible to be weary speaking unto God when that we have his Spirit or to be weary hearing of him speak to us by the same Spirit 129. His words are as the droppings of honey the sweet of all sweets sweeter much by much than the honey or the honey-comb 130. The Soul of a right Christian of a true Believer doth not nor cannot desire more favour than to be admitted to speak freely unto God being fitted by him and taught by his Spirit what to speak for then he is sure to hear him to speak to him again an answer of peace 131. If it be so delightfull
that thinks any thing more worth than Christ is not worthy of Christ 178. He that would not willingly lose all things for him and for his sake shall never have him nor of him partake 179. He that holds any thing dearer than Christ's love shall never partake of his love 180. But he that loveth him above all things beyond all things and more than all things may surely say that he hath all things for as Christ is above all God blessed for ever and for ever so he is all in all unto all those that truly love him 181. So sure as we would that he did love us so sure it is that he doth love us and more sure much by much and so much as we would that he did love us so much he doth love us and yet much more by much and so strongly and continually as we would that he did love us so doth he and so will he even unto the end for there is nor never shall be any end of his love he will love whom he doth love world without end for ever and for ever 182. So sure as we are Gods creatures so sure is he our God and so sure as he is the Father of all mercies so sure is he our Father and therefore sure it is that we are his dear children and therefore surely he will be ever unto us a most loving and merciful Father delighting to do us good and to make us his very delight in Jesus Christ our eldest Brother blessed Saviour and Redeemer 183. O Lord I have no good in me but what comes from thee I say none at all either great or small 184. From thee O Lord alone I have all that I have therefore me and all mine I confess and acknowledge is all thine 185. How weary Ah how weary am I of my self and yet not so weary as I would be because I keep not thy Laws 186. How loathsome Ah how loathsome am I to my self and yet not so much by much as I would be because I love thee not O God my God as I would and as I should love thee 187. That God is what he is is the greatest and chiefest joy of all those that love him fear him know him and have given up themselves unto him 188. The presence of God which is Communion with him through his Holy Spirit is the feast of fat and pleasant things yea the Feast of Feasts unto that Soul and every Soul that hath truly tasted of him 189. In his presence is all joy unspeakable joy and from his right hand flow continual pleasures for evermore 190. The good and the only good that a soul in God desireth chooseth longeth for and panteth continually after being ever hungry and a thirst to enjoy is in some measure to be like him in all things always to be conformable unto him to put him on and that he may never put him off 191. The goodness of God is such a souls only goodness the glory of God is such a souls only glory the honour of God is such a souls only honour the wisdom of God is such a souls only wisdom the riches of God is such a souls only riches and the love of God is such a souls only love God being only his his only good his only all in all always All that is Gods is dear and near unto him yea is his dearest and his nearest of all things either in Heaven above or on Earth below his cause such a soul makes his and his truth and ways he is so wedded unto as he only joyeth in the remembrance of them and for that he is by his Holy Spirit thus strictly wedded unto them having chosen them for his Love his delight his refreshings and rejoycings having his heart in some measure according to Gods heart and his mind according to the mind of God 192. All that is in all creatures both in Heaven above and here on Earth below is from God all their strength is from his strength all their Power from his Power all their might from his mighâ— all their wisdom from his wisdom all their love from his love and all their loveliness from his loveliness all their goodness from his goodness and all their greatness from his greatness all their riches from his riches and all their peace from him who is the God of Peace all their rest from him who is their rest all their joy from him who is the God of Joy all happiness felicity and bliss from him who is all happiness in himself and is his own felicity and bliss Thus from Gods all all Creatures Saints and Angels have their all and therefore they return unto him always as all due is all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thansgiving for ever and for ever 193. Ah God how great is thy greatness how good Ah how good is thy great goodness how deliciously sweet is thy sweetness how lovely Ah how transcendently lovely is thy loveliness how beautiful Ah how beautiful is thy beautifulness Who Ah who is a God like unto thee our God abundant in loving kindness always doing good 194. Ah most gracious and most glorious Lord God full of all grace and all glory thou art all fulness of all blessedness all the blessed are all blessed in thee even from thy ever blessed blessedness 195. The Lord would not give me the World at full till he had first fully given me Heaven to the end that I might not love what I should not but what I should that I might not love most the less but the most that is having the true knowledge of the worth of Heaven I might chuse it prize it love it and make it my whole choice delight and love for if the Lord had first given me my fill of the World I should doubtless have satisfied my self therewith and rested on it and sought only after it and not have minded Heaven nor the things in Heaven I should have made these low things here below the highest things in my esteem and choice and sought no other Heaven than thus to have lived on earth possessing earthly things 196. But now blessed be God for his goodness though I have earthly things in abundance I esteem account and prize them but as the things of earth even as dirt dung and dross compared with the things of Heaven yea with those things of Heaven that God giveth here on earth to those that love him for he that hath seen that hath tasted and that knows the one and the other must needs acknowledge confess and say Ah how low are all these things here below when compared with the things above they are all even nothing at all empty poor despicable poor low things 197. The Lord would not suffer me to possess the things of the flesh first ere he had feasted resatiated and satisfied me with the things of the Spirit with Heavenly and Spiritual things that I might be able to make a fit
and to stick the closer unto him who only is able to hold us up and to keep us from falling me thinks if we did not sometimes fall not that I desire to fall or stumble at all neither to sin in the least to have grace abound but me thinks if we did not at times fall we should not see his Fatherly love so clearly so greatly in taking care of us to preserve us by protecting of us from greater evils and dangers for when he hath lifted us up again after we have fallen Ah how do we cling to him how do we hold him fast how do we endeavour to have him always in our sight and how do we cry after him when we perceive any evil of affliction or temptation to be nigh us and how do we cast our selves down before him at his feet and bewail our infirmities and weaknesses begging strength from him to support and keep us up how do we wonder and are astonisht to see the fire of his wrath kindled against the wicked and against evildoers and yet that such wicked evildoers as we are are not consumed to see fire in the bush and yet the bush not burnt 11. Thus we may plainly see that God seeth all to be good for us yea best of all which he sendeth us causing every thing to work together for our good Ah seeing then that his love mercy and goodness is such and so great for us let us always mightily prise him and prize him at the very highest price and give up our spirits souls and bodies to live to him and for him and unto and for his praise honour and glory it being our glory and our honour our happiness and our bliss that he is such a God as he is To him alone therefore be given always all honour glory and praise for ever and for ever 12. Laying out is laying up laying out of earthly treasure on earth with a heavenly heart is to lay up heavenly treasure in Heaven according to Gods words and his heart 13. God giveth unto his Children of his own strength to overcome as it were himself he delighteth to be as it were overcome by them And to make us more than Conquerours 14. Ah the mercy the mercy and bounty of God and the misery of man that God being such a God as he is should notwithstanding continue to do so much for man and man nevertheless continue continually to do so much against his God I say against his God even then when he knoweth God to be his God 156. Ah Lord how is it that thou should'st take pleasure to mind us so much as thou dost although thou knowest well our evil minds and how little we mind thee and although thou tellest us by thine own spirit how that we are near and dear unto thee even always in thy mind and heart to do us good for ever and for ever Ah how great is our misery to have such depraved natures and such Devil-like hearts to pay thy merciful kindness with such high unkindness and ingratitude to thee who art our only good 16. How is it O Lord that thou takest such continual care and pains as it were and art at so much cost to overcome us with thy loving kindness and yet we remain so brutish and sensless stupid and unkind that we will not but refuse to he overcome 17. Ah the misery the misery of man who is never weary nor would never be weary of doing evil yea all manner of evil against his most kind and loving Lord and God who is so good to him as he is never weary nor repents of doing of him good notwithstanding his continual doing of evil or doing of all evil continually 18. A good heart giveth unto the Lord freely cheerfully willingly and rejoycingly of all that he hath and always acknowledgeth and saith of thine own O Lord I will and do give thee 19. When that the Lord giveth unto such a soul Grace he giveth him Glory when he giveth him outward things he praiseth him and enlargeth his bowels of compassion unto the Saints 20. Such hearts desire mightily largeness of heart or large hearts to give according to what they receive whether it be Spirituals or Temporals nothing is so near or dear unto them as the work of the Lord which is to do his will in all things from the very highest of Grace to the very lowest of things in Nature 21. Ah Lord God let me always bear thee in mind when ever I mind that is think on any thing 22. Let me O Lord I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee do every thing that I do as knowing and remembring that thou seest and knowest all the thoughts of my heart and writest down all my words and works on thy blessed book of remembrance 23. Let me do all that I do before men as before thee O God my God knowing that thou seest it and hearest it 24. And all that I take in hand to do O God before thee Let me do it all as if all the men in the World did look on me and see it 25. Notwithstanding the greatness and numberless number of my sins thy goodness O God was so great towards me as moved thee to have compassion on me and to pour out thy endless and everlasting love and kindness in mercy upon me 26. Also O God thou causedst my own sins to appear so great and filthy before me that I was thereby ashamed of my self and confounded before thee 27. So that seeing my self thus polluted filthy abominable and unclean yea abominably unclean I left my self willingly I hated and do hate my self truly and I embraced through Grace thy most gracious offers of Grace Love and Mercy heartily and unfeignedly returning unto thee with my whole heart desiring entirely and sincerely an entire change from all evil to all good from my own evil ways to thy most blessed ways that are so good so sweet so beautiful so delightful that since the knowledge of them my soul hath been often delighted refreshed feasted and satisfied in them and with them 28. Ah mercy of mercies that thou wouldest O God be pleased thus in mercy to look on me when I was fit and ripe for all thy Judgments And when thou mightest justly have poured out the viols of thy wrath and fury upon me with the greatest indignation that then even then to kindle the flames of Love in my heart from the continual burnings in thine O God in thine to love fear seek adore and serve thee unfeignedly with my whole heart Ah what mercy to this mercy 29. Continue O God that art my God and only good continue Ah continue I most humbly beseech thee to be thus merciful unto me that I turn not thy Grace into wantonness but in some râ—easure labour and strive to walk worthy of these thy rich and saving mercies with which thou hast and wilt for ever inrich my poor Soul with and save it 30. As
a natural Father a Father in the flesh is and must be still a Father and a child a child so me thinks it is with God our Heavenly and Spiritual Father he having once begotten us and we are born again and are become his children by the Grace of Adoption Justification and Sanctification he must be still our Father and we his children unto Eternal Salvation Though we do many times as fleshly children not always do the will of their Fathers in the flesh nor please them always not satisfie or delight them nor give them content yet notwithstanding they are still children nor they cannot cease to be children nor their Father to be their Father even so though we do not always do what liketh God our Heavenly Father but that at times which disliketh him and displeaseth him he as a good Father sometimes punisheth us and sometimes passeth by our failings without punishment eyeing what is rest for us and as a Father he never faileth us neither will he suffer us to fail of being his children Once his children and ever his his for ever and for ever 31. Ah Lord God that art so glorious here in Grace how transcendently glorious art thou in Glory If the Earth be so full of thy Glory how full is Heaven O Lord thy dwelling place where thou manifestest thy self unto the Saints and they behold thy beauty and thy glory face to face 32. If thy back parts be so beautiful to our eyes here in the flesh how beautiful Ah how beautiful O Lord will thy glorious countenance be unto us in glory where we shall see thee and know thee as thou art to be known 33. Thy presence even here O Lord God when we have Communion with thee doth so delight and ravish us that we had much rather by much be a door-keeper in thy house be a servant to the meanest of all thy servants than sit on Thrones and rule among the wicked that keep not thy Laws 34. I have O Lord I confess abused thy mercâ—es and do therefore acknowledge that thou mayest justly refuse me all mercies 35. I have walked contrary unto thee O God and still do and therefore I confess that thou mayest justly walk contrary unto me and give me up to do all the evil that is in my heart which is the very greatest of all thy Judgments in this life 36. We are the work of thine hand we are thine own and thou mayest justly do with us all that seemeth good unto thee to do for what is right in thy sight O Lord is just and right and good 37. When the Lord is with us for good then he hath accepted of us he is in us and we are in him one with him and he one with us we as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and he as bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh we are not two but one yea there is such an oneness as we are one in some measure in all things and have the same affections for all things loving what is to be loved and hating what is to be hated there is a like purity and no mixture in our choice of good and in our hatred and abhorrency of evil as to the truth and sinceriâ—y of it though much different in the degrees 38. Thus even thus is man made in some measure as God that is God like Thus even thus doth he partake of the holy and Divine Nature of God Thus even thus doth God himself give of himself unto man to make man like himself That man may be satisfied as God is satisfied but differently thus God seeing all things in himself from himself and man seeing what is of God in him is of his free gift from his free Love 39. That is to have a heart according to Gods heart to be always satisfied in all Gods dealings and doings 40. All that God doth is to have his own will accomplisht and done and if our will as it should be according to his will then are we well content in and with all that is done for nothing is done or can be done but that and only that which God will have to be done 41. The honour of all the Saints is Gods honour and their glory is to bring him glory or to glorifie him as the Saints and Angels do in glory 42. Ah Lord God let me as the Bee make honey of the weeds as well as of the flowers fetch good out of evil as well as increase and multiply good from good condemn sin where ever I see it hate it most where I see it most speak most against it when I hear it most spoken for and let the hearing and seeing of grace in others and from others beget more grace in me and let me lay it up as the Bee doth honey in the hive for my self to feed on in the winter of temptation and affliction and that as honey it may be sweet and comfort others also 43. I am resolved O Lord not to be satisfied until I find within me that thou art well and truly satisfied with me and by my whole life and conversation 44. I am O Lord resolved through grace not to be satisfied until I find thy holy Laws so writ on my heart that my heart be according to thy heart and set and bent and resolved entirely and continually and universally in all things to keep thy Law 45. Ah Lord let me so find thee always within me that I may always do the things and only the things that are right in thy sight 46. Let my Love be so true O Lord for thee as I may only love thy truth that truth only in all things may be only lovely unto me 47. Let my goings out be comings in unto me that is Let all O Lord that I do bring me good yea even my falls make me rise and stand the faster relying on thy strength O God my God who only art able to keep me both from stumbling and from falling 48. Watch O Lord watch over my heart continually that I depaat not from thee but that I do the things always that are in some measure according to thy heart 49. The Lord gives his graces unto those that rightly ask them as we would do water at a Fountain unto all those should come for it in a due and right manner give as well a thousand ten thousand yea a hundred times ten thousand draughts to any one that should need it as one draught alone so our God such is his fulness such is his goodness that he gives as well and as willingly all the desires of our hearts and souls as one desire alone yea as the least desire oâ— all if we do but ask as we should ask and for that end or those ends alone that he hath appointed them and us to have them for to give much or little is to him all alike he cannot such a Fountain is he be emptied no nor lessened at
in despising these things here below than in prizing of them and to have a heart to trample them under my feet than to set them up in my thoughts and affections These being low as they are let me O God keep them always under my feet and trample on them as on dirt and dung minding these high and holy things above which thou givest only in love and to those only whom thou lovest 81. Ah Lord God swallow me up into thy self that I may be found there naked and empty of all things out of thee and besides thee so that I may only possess thee my only good bliss and blessedness 82. Ah Lord God set always before my eyes mine Eternal and Everlasting Portion of thy grace and grant that I may be made thereby a worthy partaker of thine infinite and eternal glory in glory so be it Lord so be it 83. If any other condition were fitter for me than my present condition I know that the Lord would give it me and fit it for me and fit me for it 84. Ah Lord give me then a contented and thankful heart always and in all conditions whatever seeing thou hast caused me this day to know a fresh and to be assured that thou art always with me takest care for me and watchest heedfully over me and that thou wilt be ever unto me as hitherto thou hast been my support strength assistance and satisfaction 85. If God be come down into our hearts then all powers that are not of God are brought down are brought under into subjection unto his holy Laws by obedience unto his Divine Commandments for where he is present all that is not of him must absent it self Two being not agreed they cannot live together and the stronger will turn out the weaker 86. Ah Lord let me always eye thee eying of me and let my eye be never off from thee for I know that thine is not nor cannot be off from me 87. Ah Lord let me seriously consider that all things that are done by thee are done for the good of all those that love thee 88. Therefore whatever is done at any time whether in Heaven or Earth let me always say so Lord would I have it seeing thou that art Lord of all things and over all even God blessed for ever and for ever wilt have it so 89. Ah Lord suffer not my vile will to controul at any time thy Divine Will but let thine be always mine and mine according unto thine 90. Ah Lord suffer me never to go about to bring thy will to mine but always and in all things labour with all the Powers of my Soul to bring mine to thine 91. And after I have ask'd let me be content with what ever I have knowing that thou O Lord seest and knowest my condition 92. Ah Lord swallow me up into this blessed condition that all conditions be a like unto me and that I may esteem them blessings and thee and me alike blessed not in a like degree but in truth Thou God blessed over all and I in thee blessed by thee through thy blessed goodness unto me 93. Ah Lord be thou with me where ever I am mine and then I am sure I shall not want any thing because O God thou that art all fulness wilt I know and am sure of continually fill me 94. Thou art O God my good and therefore no evil can or shall come nigh me to hurt me for I know that thou always watchest over me for good and that thou never slumbrest nor sleepest 95. Ah Lord thy shadow is unto me safety let me then always sit under the shadow of thy wings that thy Word in me may be always the food and the life of my Soul 96. Ah Lord God if thou hast made our life thus sweet unto us over all things and above all things it is because thy self being thus the life of our life we may be taught to spend it so for thee as we may ever preserve it for thee to live unto thee for ever and for ever to praise thee 97. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thou hast at this time made me so to touch thee feelingly so as to feel vertue come out from thee into me that mine eyes are opened so as I see thee and know thee to be with me and in me 98. Ah Lord let this light of thine never depart from me but let me more and more be swallowed up into it that by it I may be made more and more able to comprehend it and live in it 99. Ah Lord God let these thy dawnings draw me after thee to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness where ever thou goest and let me never grow weary nor faint in the way where ever thou shalt lead me or what ever thou shalt bid me to do though it be to spend and to be spent But grant that I may be always thine as I know and see through thy good grace in me that thou art mine 100. Ah what a most blessed thing is it to live in the Peace of the Lord and to dye with his Peace 101. Ah Lord suffer me not to purchase the whole World if it were to be had with the committing of one sin against Conscience for what shall it profit me to gain the whole World if I lose my own Soul 102. Ah Lord how happy is the man that knoweth thee only that is is so swallowed up into thee as he knoweth none nor nothing but thee thou art O God over all and above all in him and he is only thine and none but thine 103. Ah how low how low is it to know any thing but thee O God or incomparison of thee 104. Ah Lord God let me so know thee as I may comprehend thee that I may despise all other knowledge and rest satisfied in this one thing only necessary 105. To know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent is the depth of Wisdom and all things to it in comparison of it is meer foolishness 106. The Angels know not more and this knowledge of theirs is but in a degree and ah how low and inferiour to that knowledge that is in thee that is O God in thee in thee 107. This knowledge is so sweet in its manifestation that it drowns and consumes both men and Angels in its contemplation 108. This knowledge is so deep and sweet that all both Men and Angels do thee only greet 109. Thus to know thee O God is to be in some measure like unto thee filled with all wisdom and knowledge 110. But this alone is given us all to know from thy self who knowest all things and givest unto none but what thou knowest is for thine own glory O God and their Everlasting good 111. Fill O Lord fill all the hearts of those that unfeignedly seek thee and this thy Wisdom that they may become fools to themselves and only wise in thâ—â— and for thee 112.
137. And when we have received it let us lay it up that is lay it out that it may increase for he that hath most more shall be given him he shall have most of all 138. The blessing of the Almighty shall and will always go along with those that diligently seek him they shall be sure to see no evil all their days 139. The Blessedness and the happiness of the Saints is to see God and to know him to be theirs 140. He shall have him that would have him he shall be with him that desireth him he shall be taught by him that giveth himself up unto him and he shall know him that followeth after him in his ways and that delighteth in the keeping of all his Commandments 141. Delight thy self in the Lord so shall no evil come upon thee but all good shall follow thee every where 142. Fear the Lord and thy days shall be many 143. Watch over all thy words and let thy thoughts be as the light without any darkness 144. Have him always nigh thee that thou mayst not do the thing that is not of him 145. Comfort thy self and shake off all fear for the Lord will honour thee by doing his will in the midst of all those where he shall carry thee 146. Give thy self up to him more and more that thou mayest be taught by him and know him 147. Let thy knowledge be of him to know his will that thou mayest walk in his holy ways and do all that he shall command thee that thou mayest possess the good that he hath laid up for thee in himself 148. Ah Lord cause me to see every thing as it is in it self then shall I esteem all things out of thee as Paul did as dirt dung and dross compared to thee then shall I also know well how to want and how to abound 149. Ah Lord cause me more and more to know thee as thou art to be known for then shall I be more and more weary of all things out of thee and esteem them as Pebbles to Pearls yea all as nothing for alas alas what is all when well considered when seen and known to be just as it is 150. If we do not O God see thee in all things what do we see when our understandings are enlightned by thee but Poverty in the greatest riches but ignominy in the greatest honour and glory but foolishness in the greatest wisdom weakness in the greatest strength deformity in the greatest beauty and meer baseness in the very greatest splendor of earthly Majesty All things put together I am sure are to such an eye but a thing of nought a poor empty low thing nay nothing 151. Ah Lord shall we be such fools as to esteem our selves wise to get and lay up such things as can do us no good as can stand us in no stead at all in the greatest need of all shall we Ah shall we spend our time our most pretious time for that which is so full of vanity that makes us so vain as to think our selves wise and to lay it up even against that great and terrible day of the Lord when the reward will be shame and grief and anguish and vexation of spirit 152. Ah let them O Lord God that know thee not trifle away their pretious time thus but spend it to get thee sure who only canst make us truly rich wise honourable beautiful and blessed for ever and ever 153. All the Angels are but as a drop compared O God to thee they would be as a troubled Sea or a Sea of trouble if thou should'st go out of them 154. None knoweth thee O God or can speak of thee as thou art thou art glorious in holiness fearful in praises doing wonders the earth man is filled with thy Majesty and thy glory the dust man doth praise thee 155. Ah Lord let me not mince thy words cut or carve them or put them into any other frame than as thou shalt give them me if they go forth rough thou wilt make them smooth and fit them for those for whom thou hast appointed them 156. He that hath chosen the Lord for his God shall have him yea hath him and shall ever have him 157. Ah Lord God that soul that loveth thee and knoweth how lovely thou art cannot at all be satisfied with any nay not with all these high things here below the riches the honours and the pleasures of the world 158. It is only Heaven and the things of Heaven that are in his eye for all the things on earth he easily thinks them into nothing and winks their beauty into blackness and deformity 159. Ah Lord open the doors of Heaven yea set wide open those Everlasting gates of thy goodness that the scales of ignorance and worldliness being taken away from before the eyes of my understanding I may through thy light see light even that light of thine to see and contemplate those most glorious things in glory even those which thou hast laid up and prepared and wilt give unto all those that wait upon thee that desire thee know thee and love thee 160. Such as have thee O God have and are sure they shall have always all and above by much what they can desire to have ask or crave 161. Thou O our God that fillest Heaven and Earth with thy bounty and thy goodness wilt not fail to fill also all the hearts of all those that draw nigh unto thee and that depend upon thee 162. Such shall be sure to lack nothing that take care how to please thee 163. They that make this one thing their only pleasure shall never lack the thing that shall make them happy and blessed for ever 164. Thou lovest us not O God because that we are what we are but because thou art what thou art thy Love is free from thy self none constraineth thee as none can give unto thee 165. Ah Lord God I know that thou lovest us not because we love thee but we it is that love thee because that thou lovest us 166. Thou art O God all things to all those that depend upon thee food to the hungry drink to the thirsty riches to the poor wisdom to the simple liberty to them that are bound comfort to the comfortless even all things to all in life in death and after death 167. Let the wicked the men of the World have their fill of the World the Corn Wine and Oyl thereof but let me O God my God have my fill of thee for thou art much better by much than all things either in Heaven above or on Earth below do but shine upon me O Lord with the light of thy Countenance that I may see thy light and I shall rejoyce with unspeakable joy 168. All things O Lord God compared to thee are blackness and darkness and nothingness thou only art and there is none besides thee wherefore my Soul saith with David whom have I in Heaven but
Heavenly Eternal and Incomprehensible Glorious Lord God the God and Father of all mercies and of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ I thy poor and unworthy creature despicably poor blind and naked and out of Christ I confess and acknowledge that I have nothing wherewith to cover my nakedness and deformity but unclean filthy raggs my own righteousness being unrighteousness my own obedience being disobedience my own worthiness being unworthiness so that all my all is even nothing at all and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing I see now and know my self to be a most miserable wretch the chiefest and the greatest of all sinners yea the very worst of the worst of all the sons of Adam dry bones rottenness filthiness barrenness uncleanness naughtiness emptiness unsavoury salt a well without water a broken cistern that can hold no water impurity unholiness all evil and altogether all evil always without and within in Spirit Soul and Body all my thoughts words and actions and that continually I sincerely confess and proclaim unto thee O God and before Angels and Men that there is nothing in me as I am in my self which doth or can deserve the least of all thy mercies not the least look of Love not the least smile nor glance of one of thine eyes O Lord in favour nor to be admitted to look up to Heaven or call thee O God Father nor to expect the least admittance into thy glorious presence Thou mayest O God thou mayest most justly reprove and reproach me openly and take all my Prayers Petitions and what else soever and as dung throw them in my face to my everlasting shame and confusion and to thine own honour glory and praise thy judgment would be just right and good and all both good and bad must and would applaud thee for it and my own soul and Conscience would say Amen thereunto for there is not any of thy Divine Commandments and most holy laws but I have broken again and again wittingly willingly knowingly and presumptuously I have often cast thy precepts behind my back and trampled them under my feet I have often O God I confess I have often turned thy grace into wantonness quencht the sweet and blessed motions of thy holy Spirit hated to be reformed chose the ways of Hell death and destruction for Body and Soul and run knowingly and wilfully out of the ways of Heaven bliss and everlasting rest and happiness I would not that thou shouldest reign over me who art the Lord of Life and Glory I have prophan'd thy house thy Sanctuary thine Ordinances thy Word and Sacraments Thus even thus and a thousand times worse have I rebelliously and traiterously acted against thy Soveraignty and Power though I knew that thou wert Lord over all and above all even God blessed for ever and for ever by whom I did live move and had my being Ah Lord I know well that thou knowest all that I have ever done against thee or would have done I know well that nothing is or can be hid from thee thou seest into the dark corners and crannies of our hearts thoughts and affections thou knowest what I am and what I would be and how I should have â—hus continued unto my lives end hadst â—hou not in love and mercy pull'd me out of the everlasting burning as a brand out of the fire if thou hadst not O God come in â—o my help and succour the Devil had devoured me the Devil had destroyed me for ever and for ever for I was his captive his vassal his slave I did his will I obeyed his commands I did even run when he â—id me go But ever praised be thy transcendent glorious name O God of all goodness and Father of Love mercy and compassion that wert pleased to make my calamity and extremity thine opportunity that then even then when thou sawest that all help out of thy self was in vain thou shouldest be pleased to come and succour me and set me free to break the fetters and chains by which I was led as a most miserable Caitif and Captive almost into Hell it self thou hast O God thou hast broken the snares and I am escaped thou hast delivered my Soul from death and my Songs shall be to praise thee whilst I live I will praise thee O Lord my deliverer and never keep silence rather would I that my tongue should cleave to the roof of my mouth than not declare the mercies and the loving kindness of thee my God to my poor Soul and I trust as well as pray and beseech thee O my God and Father in Jesus Christ that thou wilt daily put new Songs of praise into my mouth and that thou wilt in some measure enable me to speak fitly worthily and opportunely of thy gratious dealings towards me that those that hear and know thee may with me labour to be more affected and delighted with thee and prize thee yet at a far higher prize and that others that hear and know thee not may so hear as that they may resolve to seek thee with us and may see thee to be the fairest of ten thousand yea the only fair lovely beautiful and desirable But O incomprehensible unconceivable unexpressible goodness love and bounty the Ocean and Fountain of all bliss blessedness and happiness how can I how shall I worm I nothing I speak of thee and of thy gratious dealings unto my poor Soul O the heighth depth length and breadth of thy Love it is as the Heavens for heighth as Hell for depth as Eternity for length and as from Everlasting to Everlasting for breadth nay all this is far short of it it is much more than all this by much for it is thy self O God thy only self thy very self that thou hast given me thy Kingdom and thy Glory and not only in Heaven hereafter but even now now hast thou done this for my poor unworthy Soul having often fed feasted and solaced my Soul with those ravishing joys that thou hast laid up and prepared for those that unfeignedly love thee thou hast in thy goodness bounty and love often caused me to tast of that hidden Manna that bread of Life and to drink of those Rivers of pleasures that flow from thine own right hand thou hast many times as it were carried my Soul into that mountain of happiness where I have seen thy glorious back parts thy gratious transcendent goodness and have beheld in the Spirit the Celestial Canaan the new Jerusalem the City of God even God in Man communicating himself unto him for Christ the hope of glory is in us dwells in us and makes his abode there which is thy Tabernacle O God thou hast not only given him for us on the Cross but thou continually continuest to give him unto us to crucifie our sins and sinfull lusts and affections in us to put them to death that he himself may live and reign and rule in us that we may
be thine and thou ours Ah Lord God I praise thee thou hast often given me the seal of thy Love thy Holy Spirit witnessing assuring establishing and perswading my Soul heart and conscience of the free full and gracious pardon of all my sins past present and to come Thou hast often O God I praise thee thus covered me thus spread the banners of thy Love over me thus made me sit under the shadow of thy branches thus feasted my Soul in thy banquetting house of Love rest peace and joy thus shewn me thy beauty and thy glory thus allured me and tyed me fast unto thy self with the cords of thy divine Love thus shewn me thy great Salvation thus given me wisdom and knowledge to know thee my God and Father and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent thus caused me to believe and hereby made my joys full to admiration adoration and astonishment On this glorious Mountain of Grace have often I desired to abide that I might continue to abide with thee to enjoy thee who only art full and perfect joy but I know that these changes shall and must come as Winter and Summer whilst we are here in the flesh but the time will come that thou wilt change us but once more and then we shall live with thee in thee and to thee for ever and for ever Ah Love who can speak of it fitly or as he should it is thy Divine Nature O God it is thy self and therefore men nor Angels cannot declare it this three-fold Cord thy Love O most blessed and glorious Trinity cannot be broken and against it the gates of Hell shall never prevail Ah greatness that 〈◊〉 good although thou hast in Heaven Millions of Millions of most glorious Creatures to look on and converse with yet notwithstanding such is thy profound humility and condescendence love and goodness that thou wilt and dost behold yea and delight too to behold and communicate unto us poor worms sinful dust and ashes the richest choicest greatest and most peculiar treasures of thy grace and glory even of the very same though in a far less degree and measure as thou dost unto them that are with thee in Heaven thou givest us knowledge to know thee love to love thee joy to rejoyce in thee and rest to roul and rest our selves on thee they indeed eat and are filled drink deep and are resatiated see thy face and are altogether satisfied But we indeed here do eat but the fragments or crums of their so Royal Feast and Banquet we do but sip of the cup of which they drink so deep and this to us is but at times but they are always thus replenished and filled with the good things of thy House we indeed see thee O God but very darkly at the best sight of thee to their sight we know but in part at the highest pitch of our attainments here in the flesh and joy and rejoyce but at times the World Ah this wretched World and the things of the flesh as cloggs yea as Mountains of Earth pull us down to the Earth when our Souls are as on Eagles wings soaning up to Heaven and pull us back when we are as it were peeping into Heaven yea when O God thou dost as it were pull back the vail that we might see even into the Holy of Holies thus thou feedest and feastest us at times with the very bread the blessed with thee feed on and causest us to drink the Wine of the same Vintage and we in thy Son Jesus Christ see our selves clean undefiled without spot or wrinkle pardoned justified sanctified yea as if we were already glorified with thine own glory true they have their portion in hand in possession ours is by promise yet to receive but we have thy Word O God who art just true and unchangeable and therefore we can and do rejoyce as well as they and with the same joy And thus O Christ my Saviour and Redeemer I know thou wilt present me unto thy Father even in thine own righteousness worthiness and obedience they shall all be imputed unto me as if they were mine own and in these thy glorious robes I am sure and certainly perswaded I shall find acceptance before God thy Father who will not be ashamed to own me for his own nor to be called my God and my Father I know and confess Ah my dear Redeemer that all my bliss and happiness present and future consist in being united unto thee and as having an interest and sure title to thy worthiness and obedience for in thee and in thee alone we are heirs of all mercies and blessings out of thee we are heirs of all miseries in thee we are children of the Father but out of thee children of the Devil in thee we shall be accepted and accounted worthy but out of thee rejected and esteemed unworthy in thee we shall pass for obedient even as if we had never transgrest nor sinned but out of thee we can be lookt on but as disobedient and transgressors of all thy most holy Laws and Divine Commandments in thee O Christ I say in thee we 〈◊〉 fit for Heaven but out of thee only fit for Hell in thee O Christ in thee we are the Fathers delight but out of thee his hatred in thee O Christ in thee we have much boldness and free access to the Throne of Grace but out of thee only shame and confusion of face in thee O Son of Righteousness we are more resplendent glorious and beautiful than the Sun but out of thee Ah out of thee we are blackness ugliness and deformity in thee O thou the only all we have all things but out of thee we want all things Ah that thou wouldest give me more and more of thy self that I might give thee more of my self Ah that thou wouldest so live in me that I might only live to thee and for thee who art the liâ—â— of my liâ—e yea much better than ten thousand lives Thus even thus thy blood O Christ speaketh good things to us and for our souls for whom thou hast dyed it opens Heaven gates unto us when it shuts them against others it appeaseth the Fathers wrath towards us when it causeth it to burn against others it procureth us all good when it preventeth all against others it maketh our peace so that we shall ever live in rest and peace with thy Father the God of Peace with thy self the Prince of Peace and with thy Holy Spirit the Spirit of Peace when to others it shall make War for ever and for ever Ah my dear Saviour send down I most humbly beseech thee thy Holy Spirit into my heart to sanctifie purifie and purge me from all dead works from the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that I may live as thou didst live here in the flesh doing all the good was possible to be done from the highest of Grace to the very lowest
knowledge to know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent which thou hast I praise thee in some measure caused me to know to my Everlasting comfort thus even thus I am sure O God is thy good will and pleasure that I Communicate and forget not what thou hast in so much love Communicated unto me impart unto them all that thou hast imparted unto me And I praise thy goodness O God for that thou hast given me a heart in some measure heartily to desire it and longingly and lovingly to embrace with much comfort joy and content all occasions whatsoever to do it unto all without any respect of Persons to the poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and commandest yea methiâ—ks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devour them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Archangels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ beg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choice and chief grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdom of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and stain their glory such as will go about to condemn what they cannot mend and to marr what they cannot make turn O God their wisdom as thou did'st Achitophel's into foolishness but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their ways and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pitiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in tears of blood that any poor soul should either live or dye in sin that a soul which is of much more value than ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtiness and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittied and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st cheerfully endure the Cross and despise the shame and so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gracious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gracious Providene come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all wandering Prodigals that are in far Countries that is far from thee seeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affections Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was
my most miserable and woful condition But I praise thy glorious Name thou hast washt and cleansed and sanctified my soul Ah be thou pleased to let them all tast of the same love and kindness let them drink all of the same Cup and eat of the same meat and be cloathed with the same Robes and have a like ring of Love put on their fingers Ah let them O Father Lord of Heaven and Earth be thus welcomed by thee and owned by thee for thine own and adorn'd thus graciously with thine own glory that thou mayest delight in them and they may make thee only all their joy delight and rejoycing Ah that the Devil had fewer Servants and thou O God who art all goodness had'st more that he were cast off by all and thy grace and favour accepted of that he were disowned and thou O God for ever owned to be only worthy to be believed in feared loved prized magnified and praised let these and a thousand-fold more of thanksgiving honour and glory be given unto thy most sacred and most glorious Name who art God of gods and Lord of lords the very and only true God blessed for ever and for ever Thus even thus O Lord I have taken on me through the guidance of thy good spirit to chatter a little as a Crane or a Swallow and to speak unto thee and of thee with a stammering tongue thou knowest how far short and scant it is to what I might would and me thinks could speak if thou would'st be pleased to inable me to declare and shew forth what thou hast in love and mercy stablisht and rooted within me But in my weakness and seantness I trust O Lord thou wilt be large and by and with my little speak much to their hearts souls and Consciences unto whom I can speak but to the hearing of the â—ar and though I had the tongue of an Angel yet my words could not be effectual Paul could speak but to Lydia's ear it was the sweet charming voice of thy holy spirit that spake to her heart and begat in her holy and Heavenly affections Paul's planting and Apollo's watering without thy blessing would be in vain all mans all is nothing at all but emptiness it is only thou O God that madest the soul that only canst satisfie the soul and thou who only art above Conscience that canst quiet the Conscience That thou wilt thus graciously and powerfully work on others hearts and lives with this thy gracious work of grace with which thou hast so richly and plenteously wrought on mine and in me are my hopes desires and hearty humble and affectionate prayers and for this end and to bring glory to thy Eternal most holy and most glorious name I send it forth under the shadow of thy wings to be protected Ah Lord hear me and graciously answer me and do for me and all thine much more abundantly than I or they can ask or think according to the greatness of thy goodness and the goodness of thy greatness and all I humbly beg ask and crave in the name and for the sake and worthiness of Jesus Christ the Righteous thy dear Son and my dear Saviour and Redeemer for whom my soul doth and shall ever praise thee and to him with thine own sacred holy divine and glorious Majesty and blessed spirit be now and always given by me and all thine as all due is and to none else honour glory power might dominion and thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it Amen and Amen IF then all this thou wilt receive Thou must thy self of all bereave Thou must thy self for ever loose If Christ thou wilt for ever choose And if this choice thou here dost make Christ will thy soul never forsake For if thou dost to all sin dye Thou shalt with him live Eternally Where all his glory thou shalt see And live in him and he in thee Ye shall no more be two but one As is the Father and the Son Eke with the Holy Ghost all three Shall give themselves to live in thee Ah blessed gift and blessed life Where all is peace no war no strife Where time shall never wear away Where is no night but all is day Which day shall never have an end And all our work shall only tend To give God praise for all his love Who sits above all powers above Those three in one and one in three That blessed were are and shall be Beginning they had never none And therefore end shall not be known All time that 's past is with them present And that to come is never absent Therefore in them thou all shalt see That passed is and what 's to be Which shall thee fill with such great joys That thou shalt still lift up thy voyce And with the Angels and blessed sing Praise to our God Praise to our King Let all praise honour and glory be given to God the God of all glory from whom I have received all that I have both to will and to do FINIS Advertisement THE Author hath ready for the Press several other Meditations on divers different Subjects As On Moses and St. Paul ' s desires to have their Names blotted out of the Book of Life for their Brethren's sakes On Self-denial what it is and what it is not The difference of a Christians Love for God at his first Conversion and afterwards On Christ's coming to judge the World at the last day with all the blessed of Heaven And many others which he hopes through the Blessing of the Almighty will be to Edification
Lord to know that thou art a God pardoning all Iniquities Transgressions and sins yea all Blasphemies wherewith they have blasphemed Ah Lord shew them the light of thy gracious and glorious Countenance and lead them in the way everlasting that they may never more swerve nor go astray from thy Divine and Holy Commandments Bless O Lord all that are travelling by Sea or by Land and bring them to their Ports and Places in safety defend them from all Pirats and Robbers that seek to do them hurt or wrong and from all other perils and dangers pitch thy tents O Lord round about them and keep them even as thou keepest thine own And lastly O Lord I most humbly and heartily beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to pardon and forgive all mine Enemies all the world over love them O Lord that hate me bless them that curse me do good to them that seek to do me evil forget and forgive all that they have done or would have done against me and change their hearts from evil unto good that they may no longer walk after the deceitfulness of their own evil Hearts but may do all things for the time to come in truth and sincerity according to thine own heart O Lord God that thou mayest own them for thy own and give them hearts O Lord to forgive me whom I have wronged whether it have been in thought word or deed either unto high or low rich or poor young or old and grant O Lord that I may fear and do so no more but as thou hast been unto me a sin-pardoning God so I beseech thee be unto me a sin-preventing God that I may not as the Dog return to his Vomit nor as the Sow to her wallowing in the mire again but that I may always henceforth set thee O Lord before mine eyes and be attent unto the motions of thy holy spirit and never to forget thy exceeding bountifull and mercifull dealings towards me and that love in Jesus Christ wherewith thou hast loved me and that I may remember that it is impossible for those who were once enlightned and have tasted of the Heavenly gift and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost and have tasted the good word of God and the Powers of the World to come if they shall fall away to renew them again unto Repentance seeing they Crucifie to themselves the Son of God afresh and put him to open shame for if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a certain fearfull looking for of Judgment and fiery indignation which shall devour the adversaries for having Lord by thy grace and mercy escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ grant that I may not again be intangled therein and overcome and so my latter end prove worse if worse it can be than was my beginning Ah Lord God should such be my case which God forbid it would be much better for me that I had never known the way of Righteousness than after the knowledge of it to turn from thy holy Commandments delivered unto me Ah Lord God my Lord and my God in Jesus Christ thou knowest my weakness frailty and impotency that I cannot of my self as of my self think a good thought that I am prone to all evil and averse to all good to will indeed is many times present but how to perform I know not there is still O Lord God a law in my members warring against the law of my mind and leading me Captive into the law of sin Ah Lord when when O Lord when shall that time come and that blessed most blessed and glorious day dawn and appear in my heart that the root and branch of sin be totally rooted up and utterly destroyed and grace confirmed and grow up more and more until I come to be a perfect man in Christ Jesus that I may still more and more hate the evil which I do and love the good which I do not and cannot do that it may be no longer I that sin but sin that dwelleth in me and that by the assistance of thy grace and holy Spirit I may walk well pleasing before thee doing thy work and thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven living the life of grace here and of glory hereafter the life of the Righteous that I may dye their death Ah Lord give thy self to me that I may give my self to thee live in me that I may live to thee owne me for thine own that I may owne thee for mine all give me Ah give me O Lord much grace that I may give thee much glory daily grace that I may give thee daily glory continually grace that I may give thee continually glory that I may be all thine O Lord only thine always thine and ever thine and all this I most humbly and unfeignedly beg of thee and whatever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for my soul and body for the name and for the worthiness of Jesus Christ thy Son and my Saviour to whom with thy Glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace do I render and give with my whole heart as all due is and unto none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen Amen 34. If the love of Creatures be so lovely unto us and we esteem and love them most for their love and this their love doth many times sweetly satisfie and ravish our senses But how then are our hearts set on fire with Love when we have within us the fiery hot burning Love of a Loving God yea of a God of Love whose Love is so lovely as it knits our hearts in Love unto him and our greatest Love unto him is from his own Love because he hath so loved us as to give us hearts to love him even according to his own heart 35. If our Joy be according to the measure of Love which we enjoy from the Creature whom we most love Ah how great yea incomprehensibly great shall our joy be when we shall know and feel that we are beloved above measure by the Creator who maketh the Creature thus lovely and giveth him Love thus to love him 36. If our Love many times be so great unto the Creature for the Creature that we do not and it seems to us that we cannot love him so much as we would and do desire to do and we crave and desire chiefly his Love that we may yet love him more and this from and because we love him so much and for that our senses can be only satisfied with his Love and by loving of him for we love him most for his Love and his Love doth cause us to love him more whom we love so much yea whom we love most 37. But Ah how great then yea how wonderfully great is the