this body nor to haue any part in Christ their future estate being referred to him who only knoweth what it shall be §. 25. Of the extent of the Churches subiection The extent of the Churches subiection to Christ is without any restraint at all in every thing For there is nothing which Christ requireth of her but she may with a good conscience and must in obedience yeeld unto Iust and pure and perfect are all his commandements there is no error in any of them no mischiefe or inconuenience can follow vpon the keeping of them This extent being here taken for grant I may further inferre that They who are of the true Catholike Church will yeeld vniuersall obedience to Christ they will obey him in all and euery of his commandements Dauid turned not aside from any thing that the Lord commanded him Iosiah turned to the Lord with all his heart according to all the law and Zacharias and Elizabeth walked in all the commandements of God All these were of this Church and of their minde are all others that are of this Church For the spirit of Christ which is in them worketh a thorow reformation euen as the flesh leadeth a naturall man on to euery sinne so the spirit of Christ stirreth him vp to euery good duty In which respect it is said that whosoeuer is borne of God doth not commit sinne Obiect The best Saints in all ages haue transgressed in many things Answ Their sinnes though grieuous haue not wilfully in open rebellion against Christ beene committed but they haue slipped from them partly through their owne weaknesse and partly through the violence of some temptation So as that which the Apostle saith of himselfe may be applied to all that are of the body of Christ That which I doe I allow not Now then is it no more I that doe it but the sinne that dwelleth in me This extent is a good proofe of the truth of subiection for herein lieth a maine difference betwixt the vpright and the hypocrite yea betwixt restraining and renewing grace That restraining grace which is in many hypocrites stirreth them to doe many things which Christ commandeth if at least they crosse not their honour profit ease and the like Herod that notorious hypocrite did many things None that beareth the name of the Church but will be subiect in somethings But none but the vpright who are indeed renewed by the sanctifying spirit of Christ will in all things make Christs will their rule and in euery thing hold close to it preferring it before their pleasure profit preferment or any other outward allurement They who so doe giue good euidence that they are of the body of Christ and may rest vpon it that Christ is their Sauiour §. 26. Of the summe of Husbands duties EPHES. 5. 25. 25. Husbands loue your Wiues euen as Christ also loued the Church and gaue himselfe for it FRom Wiues duties the Apostle proceedeth to presse Husbands duties And as he propounded to Wiues for a patterne the example of the Church so to Husbands he propoundeth the example of Christ and addeth thereunto the patterne of a mans selfe in regard of that naturall affection which he beareth to his body Thus he addeth patterne to patterne and doth the more largely and earnestly presse them because husbands hauing a more honourable place their failing in duty is the more hainous scandalous and dangerous The Apostle restraineth the duties of Husbands to their owne Wiues as he did the duties of Wiues to their owne Husbands For though the same word be not here vsed which was before yet a word of like emphasis is vsed and as good reason there is that our English translators should haue put in this particle owne in this verse as in the 22. verse for proofe whereof read 1 Cor. 7. 2. Where these two words are vsed and both of them translated owne This I haue the rather noted because many who hold that a Wife must haue but one Husband conceit that a Husband may haue more Wiues then one which conceit this particle owne wipeth away All the duties of an Husband are comprised vnder this one word Loue. Wherein that an Husband might be the better directed and whereto that he might be the rather prouoked the forenamed example of Christ and of his loue to the Church is very liuely set forth first generally in these words euen as Christ loued the Church and then more particularly in the words following §. 27. Of the example of Christs loue The note of comparison Euen as requireth no equality as if it were possible for an Husband in that measure to loue his wife as Christ loued his Church for as Christ in excellency and greatnesse exceedeth man so in loue and tendernesse But it noteth an equity and like quality An equitie because there is as great reason that Husbands by vertue of their place should loue their Wiues as that Christ by vertue of his place should loue the Church A like quality because the loue which Christ beareth to the Church is euery way without exception and a loue which turneth to the good and benefit of the Church Hence note two points 1. Husbands must come as neare as they can to Christ in louing their wiues In which respect because they can neuer loue so much as Christ did they must neuer thinke they haue loued enough 2. Though their loue in measure cannot equall Christs loue yet in the manner thereof it must be like Christs a preuenting true free pure exceeding constant loue The measure and manner of Christs loue is distinctly noted Treat 4. § 61. c. and the loue which an husband oweth his wife paralleld applied therto which application may be also made of that Christian mutuall loue which we owe one to another The loue of Christ to the Church is amplified 1. By an Effect thereof in these words He gaue himselfe for it 2. By the End of that effect largely set downe verse 26 27. The effect is noted partly as a Confirmation of the truth of Christs loue Declaration of the measure   The Act he gaue sheweth that his loue was in deed and truth not only in shew and pretence The Object himselfe sheweth that he loued his Church more then his owne life A greater euidence of loue could not be giuen for greater loue hath no man then this that a man lay downe his life for his friend The end of Christs loue set forth vers 26 27. is noted to shew that he so loued his Church for her good and happinesse rather then for any aduantage to himselfe As this example of Christs loue to his Church is set before husbands so it may and ought also to be applied to all Christians and that in a double respect 1. As a motiue to stirre them vp to loue both Christ himselfe and also their brethren 2. As a
wife though neuer so wicked may by the power of her husband be kept vnder and restrained from outrage Wherefore to goe on in order in laying downe the husbands duties as we haue the wiues we are to consider 1. The Duties themselues 2. The reasons to inforce them In setting downe the duties we must note 1. The matter wherein they consist 2. The manner how they are to be performed The Apostle compriseth the whole matter of them all vnder Loue which is the summe and head of all This we will first handle and then proceed to other particulars §. 2. Of that loue which husbands owe their wiues This head of all the rest Loue is expresly set downe and alone mentioned in this and in many other places of Scripture whereby it is euident that all other duties are comprised vnder it To omit other places where this dutie is vrged in this place Loue is foure times by name expressed beside that it is intimated vnder many other termes and phrases Whosoeuer therefore taketh a wife must in this respect that she is his wife loue her as it is noted of Isaak the best patterne of husbands noted in the Scripture he tooke Rebekah she was his wife ana he loued her Many good reasons hereof may be rendred 1. Because no dutie on the husbands part can be rightly performed except it be seasoned with loue The Apostle exhorteth all Christians to doe all their things in loue much more ought husbands though in place they be aboue their wiues yet loue may not be forgotten 2. Because of all persons on earth a wife is the most proper obiect of loue nor friend nor childe nor parent ought so to be loued as a wife she is termed the wife of his bosome to shew that she ought to be as his heart in his bosome 3. Because his place of eminency and power of authority may soone puffe him vp and make him insult ouer his wife and trample her vnder his feet if a intire loue of her be not planted in his heart To keepe him from abusing his authority is loue so much pressed vpon him 4. Because wiues through the weaknesse of their sex for they are the weaker vessels are much prone to prouoke their husbands So as if there be not loue predominant in the husband there is like to be but little peace betwixt man and wife Loue couereth a multitude of imperfections 5. Because as Christ by his loue first manifested prouoketh the Church to loue him so an husband by louing his wife should prouoke her to loue him againe shewing himselfe like the Sunne which is the fountaine of light and from which the Moone receiueth what light she hath so he should be the fountaine of loue to his wife Obiect Loue was before laid downe as a common dutie appertaining both to man and wife how is it then here required as a particular and peculiar dutie of an husband Answ In regard of the generall extent of loue it is indeed a common dutie belonging to the one as well as to the other yea belonging to all Christians to all men for it is the very nature of loue and an especiall property thereof to seeke not her owne things but the good of others which all are bound to doe by vertue of the bond of nature more then others Christians by vertue of the bond of the spirit among Christians especially wiues and husbands by vertue of the matrimoniall bond of maried couples most of all husbands by vertue of their place and charge Their place is a place of authoritie which without loue will soone turne into tyrannie Their charge is especially and aboue all to seeke the good of their wiues as wiues are the chiefest and greatest charge of husbands so their chiefest and greatest care must be for them the parents and friends of wiues as they giue ouer all their authority to their husbands so they cast all care vpon them wherefore that husbands may take the more care of their wiues and the better seeke their good they ought after a peculiar manner to loue them Husbands are most of all bound to loue and bound to loue their wiues most of all Thus this affection of loue is a distinct dutie in it selfe peculiarly appertaining to an husband and also a common condition which must be annexed to euery other dutie of an husband to season and sweeten the same His looke his speech his carriage and all his actions wherein he hath to doe with his wife must be seasoned with loue loue must shew it selfe in his commandements in his reproofes in his instructions in his admonitions in his authoritie in his familiaritie when they are alone together when they are in company before others in ciuill affaires in religious matters at all times in all things as salt must be first and last vpon the table and eaten with euery bit of meate so must loue be first in an husbands heart and last out of it and mixed with euery thing wherein he hath to doe with his wife §. 3. Of an husbands hatred and want of loue Contrary hereunto is hatred of heart which vice as it is very odious and detestable in it selfe so much more when the wife is made the obiect thereof As loue prouoketh an husband to doe his wife what good he can so hatred to doe her what mischiefe he can Moses noteth a mans hatred of his wife to be a cause of much mischiefe for the neerer and dearer any persons be the more violent will that hatred be which is fastened on them Hence was it that a diuorce was suffered to be made betwixt a man and his wife in case he hated her which law questionlesse was made for releefe of the wife lest the hatred which her husband conceiued against her should worke her some mischiefe if he were forced to keepe her as his wife which Christ seemeth to imply in these words Moses because of the hardnesse of your hearts suffered you to put away your wines This therefore being so pestilent a poison let husbands take heed how they suffer it to soake into them Neither is it sufficient for an husband not to hate his wife for euen the want of loue though it be only a priuation yet is it a great vice and contrary also to the forenamed dutie of loue Where this want of loue is there can be no duty wel performed euen as when the great wheele of a clocke the first mouer of all the rest is out of frame neuer a wheele can be in good order They that thinke lightly hereof plainly discouer that there is little or no loue of God in them at all for if the Apostles inference be good taken from a mans neighbour or brother whom he hath seene it will much more be good hauing relation to a wife for how can he who loueth not his wife whom God hath giuen to
points which are 1. The order 4. The qualitie thereof 2. The truth 5. The quantitie  3. The cause 6. The continuance  I. For the Order Christ began to loue his Church he mafested his loue to her before she loued him as the aire heated by the Sunne is hote and a wall on which the Sun-beames smite giueth a reflexion of heat backe againe so the Church as it were heated and warmed at heart by the sence of Christs loue loued him as the Apostle expresly noteth We loue him because he loued vs first and the Church her selfe acknowledgeth saying Because of the sauour of thy good ointments wherewith we are reuiued and cheered the virgins loue thee There is in vs by nature no sparke of loue at all if Christ by his louing of vs first did not instill loue into vs we could no more loue him then a liuing bird rise out of a cold egge if it were not kept warme by the dammes sitting vpon it Thus must an husband first begin to loue his wife His place of eminencie and authority requireth that he should be to his wife a guide which title is expresly giuen to him by the holy Ghost to teach him to goe before her and by his example to instruct and incite her to doe her dutie What a shame would it be for a man who is the Image and glory of God the head of his wife in the same place to her that Christ is to his Church to be prouoked by his wiues wiue-like carriage she being the weaker vessell vnder him to learne of him to loue her Reasons there be to stirre vp a wife to indeauour to preuent her husband in doing her dutie which if she doe it is the greater glory to her but this patterne of Christ should stirre him much more to striue to goe before her §. 62. Of husbands repaying vnkindnesse for loue Contrary is their disposition who hauing louing and dutifull wiues are notwithstanding nothing moued to loue them againe but are as vnkinde and churlish as if they had the most â—eeuish and peruerse wiues that could be But what shall we say of such as loue their wiues the lesse yea and hate them for their forwardnesse to loue and in testimony of true loue to performe all good dutie What but that they are very deuils â—ncarnate For it is the deuils property to ouercome good with cuill These make the doctrine of a wiues subiection to seeme harsh and a carefull performance thereof an heauy burden Neuer shall they partake of Christs loue that in their place â—ew themselues so vnlike to Christ §. 63. Of the truth of husbands loue II. The truth of Christs loue was manifested by the fruits thereof to his Church He gaue himselfe for it It was therefore not in word only no nor only in heart but in deed also Thus his loue proued profitable and beneficiall to his Church which thereby was clensed and made a glorious Church Had he only borne a tender compassion and pittifull affection towards it or laboured only with comfortable and sweet words to vphold and succour it it had still laine polluted with sinne in the power of the deuill and vnder Gods wrath and so receiued no profit and benefit at all So must husbands loue their wiues in truth and in deed Such a loue is required of a man to his brother much more therefore to his wife who is not only a sister as the Apostle expresly stileth her but neerer then sister mother daughter friend or any other whatsoeuer This therefore serueth to presse the practise of all the forenamed duties appertaining to an husband §. 64. Of husbands dissimulation Contrary is their dissimulation and hypocrisie who make great shew of much loue and pretence of earnest affection vsing many outward complements but faile when they come to the truest triall the deed Some like suters or wooers will promise mountaines but not performe moul-hills others will coll and kisse their wiues much but trust them with nothing nor prouide for them things requisite there be that will weepe much when their wiues are sicke yet not afford physicke and such like things for their recouery yea many will carrie a faire face all their life long towards their wiues and at their death leaue them nothing to liue by Hence it is that many who by others are accounted to be very kinde husbands are by their wiues found to be farre otherwise If triall be made of husbands loue by their practise and performance of the forenamed duties it will be found that they for the most part come as farre short in loue as wiues in subiection §. 65. Of the freenesse of husbands loue III. The cause of Christs loue was his loue as Moses noteth He set his loue on you because he loued you His loue arose only and wholly from himselfe and was euery way free as there was nothing in the Church before Christ loued her to moue him to loue her so can there be nothing that he could hope for afterwards but what himselfe bestowed Indeed he delighteth in that righteousnesse wherewith as with a glorious robe she is clothed and with those heauenly graces wherewith as with pretious Iewels she is decked but that righteousnesse and those graces are his owne and of his free gift He presents it to himselfe a glorious Church In imitation hereof husbands should loue their wiues though there were nothing in wiues to moue them so to doe but only that they are their wiues yea though no future benefit could after be expected from them true loue hath respect to the obiect which is loued and the good it may doe thereunto rather then to the subiect which loueth and the good that it may receiue For loue seeketh not her owne Christs loue in this branch thereof should further moue husbands to doe what lieth in their power to make their wiues worthy of loue thus will it be in truth said that they dwell with their wiues according to knowledge and thus will their â—oue appeare to be as Christs loue free §. 66. Of husbands louing for aduantage Contrary is their loue which is only for their owne content â—nd aduantage Many can loue no further then they may haue â—ome bait to allure their affections as beauty wealth honour â—r the like by-respects or at least hope of some inheritance or â—ortion aboue that which they haue or of some fauour that they â—xpect from their wiues friends This cannot be a true sound â—â—ue such a man may be thought to loue his wiues beautie â—â—heritance and friends rather then his wife This loue cannot last §. 67. Of the puritie of husbands loue IIII. Christs loue for the qualitie is an holy pure chaste â—â—ue as he himselfe is so is his loue as is euident by the â—â—fect thereof for it moued him to sanctifie and clense his Church to make it a glorious Church without
strucken with such an inward awe and reuerence as it would not for any thing displease his Maiestie but rather doe whatsoeuer it may know to be pleasing and acceptable vnto him For these are two effects which arise from this kinde of feare of God 1. A carefull endeuour to please God in which respect good king Iehosaphat hauing exhorted his Iudges to execute the iudgement of the Lord aright addeth this clause as a motiue thereunto Let the feare of the Lord be vpon you implying thereby that Gods feare would make them endeuour to approue themselues to God 2. A carefull auoiding of such things as offend the Maiesty of God and grieue his spirit in which respect the Wiseman saith The feare of the Lord is to hate euill and of Iob it is said that he fearing God departed from euill Sometimes againe awe and dread of the diuine Maiestie ariseth from diffidence For when a mans heart doubteth of Gods mercy and expecteth nothing but vengeance the very thought of God striketh an awe or rather dread into him and so maketh him feare God From this double cause of feare whereof one is contrary to another hath arisen that vsuall distinction of a filiall or sonne-like feare and a seruile or slauish feare which distinction is grounded on these words of the Apostle ye haue not receiued the spirit of bondage againe to feare this is a seruile feare but ye haue receiued the spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba father this causeth a filiall feare The filiall feare is such a feare as dutifull children beare to their fathers But the seruile feare is such an one as bondslaues beare to their masters A sonne feareth simply to offend or displease his father so as it is accompanied with loue A bondslaue feareth nothing but the punishment of his offence so as it is ioyned with hatred and such an one feareth not to sinne but to burne in hell for sinne Faithfull Abraham like a gratious childe feared God as Gods Angell beareth witnesse Gen. 22. 12. when he was ready rather to sacrifice his only sonne then offend God by refusing to obey his commandement But faithlesse Adam like a seruile bondslaue feared God as he himselfe testifieth against himselfe Gen. 3 10. when after he had broken Gods commandement he hid himselfe from the presence of God This slauish feare is a plaine diabolicall feare for the deuils so feare as they tremble It maketh men wish there were no hell no day of Iudgement no Iudge yea no God This is that feare without which we must serue the Lord. In this feare to submit ones selfe is nothing acceptable to God It is therefore the filiall feare which is here meant Secondly of this feare God is the proper obiect as by this and many more testimonies of Scripture is euident where the feare of God and of the Lord is mentioned This feare hath so proper a relation vnto God as the Scripture stileth God by a kinde of proprietie with this title Feare for where Iaakob mentioneth the feare of Isaak he meaneth the Lord whom Isaak feared It is then vnlawfull to feare any but God No Men also may be feared as Princes Parents Masters and other superiours For the Apostle exhorting to giue euery one their due giueth this instance feare to whom feare is due But yet may God notwithstanding be said to be the proper obiect of feare because all the feare that any way is due to any creature is due to him in and for the Lord whose image he carrieth so as in truth it is not so much the person of a man as the image of God placed in him by vertue of some authoritie or dignitie appertaining to him which is to be feared If there should fall out any such opposition betwixt God and man as in fearing man our feare would be withdrawne from God then the rule of Christ is to take place which is this feare not them which kill the body but are not able to kill the soule but rather feare him which is able to destroy both soule and body in hell Thirdly the extent of this true filiall feare of God is very large No one point throughout the whole Scripture is more vrged than this feare of the Lord. It is oft added to other duties as that whereby they are seasoned and without which they cannot well be performed wherefore we are commanded to serue the Lord in feare to perfect holinesse in the feare of God to worke out our saluation with feare and the Churches are commended for walking in the feare of the Lord so likewise particular men as Abram Ioseph Iob and many other yea the whole worship of God is oft comprised vnder this branch of feare whereupon our Sauiour Christ alleaging this text thou shalt feare the Lord thy God thus expresseth it thou shalt worship the Lord thy God And againe where the Lord by his Prophet Isay saith Their feare toward me is taught by the precept of men Christ thus quoteth that text In vaine doe they worship me teaching for doctrines the commandements of men out of which places compared together it is euident that vnder the feare of God is comprised the worship of God Yea all that dutie which we owe to God and man is comprised vnder this title the feare of God for Dauid when he would in one word declare the summe and substance of all that which a Minister ought to teach his people saith I will teach you the feare of the Lord. Fourthly The reason why the Holy Ghost so much vrgeth the feare of God and that in so large an extent as hath beene shewed I take to be this to shew a difference betwixt that integritie and perfection of Gods image which was at mans creation first planted in him and the renouation thereof while here he liueth in this world So compleat and perfect was then Gods image in man as he needed no other motiue to prouoke him to any dutie but loue Wherefore when the Holy Ghost would set forth that perfection of Gods image first planted in man he addeth this title Loue vnto other duties whether they concerne God or man Concerning God Moses exhorteth Israel to loue the Lord and serue him and againe to loue the Lord to walke in his waies to keepe his commandements c. Concerning man the Apostle exhorteth to serue one another by loue and to doe all things in loue Yea sometimes the Holy Ghost is pleased to comprise all duties vnder loue In which respect Christ calleth this commandement Thou shalt loue the Lord the great commandement which compriseth all the commandements of the first table vnder it and for the second table S. Paul saith that loue is the fulfilling of the law But by Adams fall and the corruption which thereby infected mans
coat but nearer is my skin God hauing wrought this naturall affection in the seuerall kindes thereof and there being good ends and vses thereof it is not to be condemned §. 58. Of spirituall selfe-loue Spirituall selfe-loue is that which is supernaturally wrought in man by Gods Spirit whereby he is both inlightned to discerne what is most excellent and best for him and also moued to choose the same so as this serueth to rectifie the former Hence it commeth to passe that their chiefest care is for their soules and for the eternall saluation thereof for the furthering whereof they can be content as need requireth to beat downe their body to denie them sometimes their ordinary refreshing by food rest and other like meanes yea and to suffer them to be imprisoned racked and otherwaies tortured and life it selfe to be taken from them This men doe and suffer not for want of naturall affection but by reason of spirituall affection which perswades them that it is good for them it should be so A man is not therefore to be said not to loue the health and safety of his body because he loueth something more For a couetous man though he loue his money yet he can be content to part with it for bread to nourish his body so a spirituall man though he loue his life yet he can be content to lose it for his soules saluation For he loueth himselfe sufficiently who doth his best to enioy the chiefest and truest good This spirituall affection extendeth it selfe as farre as naturall affection namely to wiues husbands children parents brethren cosins friends c. Much is this vrged and pressed in the Scriptures as Isa 55. 1 2 3. Mat. 6. 19 20 33. Ioh. 6. 27. 1 Tim. 6. 11 19. §. 59. Of euill self-selfe-loue The self-selfe-loue which is euill swerueth in the Obiect Measure  1. In the Obiect when it is cast vpon our corruptions our lusts our euill humors when we affect and loue them and for them pursue whatsoeuer may satisfie them as the ambitious lustfull riotous gluttonous and other like persons This is expresly forbidden Make not prouision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof 2. In the Measure when our loue is wholly and only cast vpon our selues so seeking our owne good as we regard no mans good but our owne nor care what dammage another receiueth so we may get aduantage thereby This is also forbidden for it is contrary to the property of true loue which seeketh not her owne namely to the preiudice of another This hath the title of Selfe-loue appropriated to it It sprang from the corruption of nature and is daily increased by the instigation of Satan for the destruction of mankinde It manifesteth it selfe by the many tricks of deceit which most men vse in their dealings with others by making aduantage of others necessities as in the case of vsurie of raising corne and other commodities in time of scarcity with the like by mens backwardnesse to helpe such as stand in need of their succour by want of compassion in other mens miseries and by many other like vnkindnesses all which verifie the prouerbe Euery man for himselfe But by distinguishing the forenamed points we may see that notwithstanding euill self-self-loue be a most detestable vice yet it is both lawfull and commendable to loue ones selfe aright §. 60. Of the error of Stoicks in condemning all passion The doatage of Stoicks who would haue all naturall affection rooted out of man is contrary to this patterne and vnworthy to finde any entertainment among Christians for what doe they aime at but to root that out of man which God hath planted in him and to take away the meanes which God hath vsed for the better preseruation of man That wise man whom they frame to themselues is worse then a brute beast he is a very stocke and blocke Not only the best and wisestmen that euer were in the world but also Christ himselfe had those passions and affections in him which they account vnbeseeming a wise man Their doatage hath long since beene hissed out of the schooles of Philosophers should it then finde place in Christs Church §. 61. Of well vsing naturall affection Let vs labour to cherish this naturall affection in vs and to turne it to the best things euen to such as are not only apparently but indeed good and among good things to such as are most excellent and the most necessary such as concerne our soules and eternall life For this end we must pray to haue our vnderstandings inlightned that we may discerne things that differ and approue that which is excellent and to haue our wills and affections sanctified that we embrace pursue and delight in that which we know to be the best Thus shall our naturall affection be turned into a spirituall affection Here we see how we may make nature a schoolemaster vnto vs for as Christ sendeth vs to the fowles of the aire and lillies of the field to learne of them so the Apostle here sendeth vs to our owne naturall instinct We cannot complaine that we haue no schoolemaster neere vs as many in the country whose children for want of one are rudely brought vp our selues are schoolemasters to our selues Wherfore as the Apostle hereby teacheth husbands to loue their wiues so let vs all more generally learne to loue one another for we are all mutuall members of one and the same body and our brother or neighbour is Our flesh §. 62. Of Mans forbearing to wrong himselfe EPHES. 5. 29. For no man euer yet hated his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it THe first particle for sheweth that in this verse an euidence and manifestation of a mans loue of himselfe is giuen The first part thereof which is set downe negatiuely sheweth that It is against the common instinct of nature for a man to hate himselfe It is noted as an euidence that deuils were in the Gadarene in that he cut himselfe with stones had not the deuils forced him he would neuer haue done it Hatred is contrary to loue it being therefore before proued that euery man by nature loueth himselfe by necessary consequence it followeth that no man hateth his flesh for two contrary effects proceed not from the same cause no fountaine can yeeld both salt water and fresh Obiect Many doe macerate their bodies with fastings watchings labours trauels and the like others teare and gash their flesh with whips kniues swords yea and with their teeth also others lay such violent hands vpon themselues as they take away their owne liues Answ 1. None of these things are done by the instinct of nature which God hath set in man but through the corruption of nature which the deuill hath caused Now nature and corruption of nature are two contrarie causes no maruell then that contrarie effects come from them 2. They thinke they doe
of a wiues separation for her disease Leu. 15. 19. c. For what can be expected â—m such polluted copulation but a leprous and loathsome generation This kinde of intemperancie is expresly forbidden Leuit. 18. 19. and a capitall punishment inflicted on such as offended therein Leuit. 20. 18. Abstinence in this time is set in the catalogue of those notes which declare a man to be righteous Eccles 20. 7. and the contrary intemperancy is put in the roll of such abominations as prouoked God to spue out the Canaanits Leuit. 18. 28. and to forsake his owne inheritance Ezek. 22. 10. To this kinde of intemperancie some referre a mans knowing of his wife after she hath conceiued with childe But I finde no such matter condemned in Gods word neither dare I make that a sinne which is not there condemned Certaine Sectaries among the Iewes are branded for this error 1. Obiect No other creature will so doe so as it may seeme to be against nature Answ 1. I denie the argument though some forbeare yet all doe not 2. I denie the consequence for other creatures are not so tied one male to one female as an husband to his owne wife Besides that which beasts by nature are tied vnto must be left to mans discretion 2. Obiect After a woman hath once conceiued no more conceptions can be expected till she be deliuered Answ Conception is not the only end of this dutie for it is to be rendred to such as are barren Quest What if the wife giue sucke to her childe ought not her husband then to forbeare Answ Because giuing sucke is a mother dutie man ought to doe what he can to containe §. 10. Of mutuall loue betwixt man and wife Hitherto of those common mutuall duties which tend to the preseruation of the very being of mariage and are in that respect absolutely necessarie The other common mutuall duties though they be not of so absolute necessitie as the former are in their kinde necessary for the good estate of mariage and for the better preseruing of that knot so as if they be not performed the end and right vse of mariage will be peruerted that estate made vncomfortable very burdensome The first of these is Loue. A louing mutuall affection must passe betwixt husband and wife or else no dutie will be well performed this is the ground of all the rest In some respects Loue is proper and peculiar to an husband as I purpose to shew when I come to speake of an husbands particular duties But Loue is also required of wiues and they are commanded to be louers of their husbands as well as husbands to loue their wiues so as it is a common mutuall dutie belonging to husband and wife too and that is true wedlocke when man and wife are linked together by the bond of loue Vnder loue all other duties are comprised for without it no dutie can be well performed Loue is the fulfilling of the Law that is the very life of all those duties which the law requireth It is the bond of perfection which bindeth together all those duties that passe betwixt partie and partie Where loue aboundeth there all duties will readily and cheerefully be performed Where loue is wanting there euery duty will either be altogether neglected or so carelesly performed that as good not be performed at all in which respect the Apostle willeth that all things be done in loue Loue as it prouoketh the partie in whom it ruleth to doe all the good it can so it stirreth vp the partie loued to repay good for good It is like fire which is not only hot in it selfe but also conueigheth heat into that which is neere it whence ariseth a reflection of heat from one to another Note how admirably this is set forth betwixt Christ and his Spouse in the Song of Salomon and it is further manifested in the examples of all good husbands and wiues noted in the Scripture they did mutually beare a very louing affection one to another Though loue be a general duty which euery one oweth to another euen to his enemie yet the neerer that God hath linked any together the more are they bound to this dutie and the more must they abound therein But of all others are man and wife most neerely and firmly linked together Of all others therefore are they most bound hereunto that in the highest degree that may be euen like to Ionathans loue who loued Dauid as his owne soule Salomon saith He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth fauour of the Lord which by the rule of relation is also true of an husband Shee that findeth an husband findeth a good thing and obtaineth fauour of the Lord. Man and wife therefore are each to other an especiall pledge of Gods fauour and in this respect aboue all others vnder God to be loued If this be the ground as it ought to be of their mutuall loue their loue will be feruent and constant Neither will the want or withering of any outward allurements as beautie personage parentage friends riches honours or the like with-hold or with-draw extinguish or extenuate their loue neither will any excellencies of nature or grace in other husbands and wiues draw their hearts from their owne to those other nor yet will the loue of a former yoake-fellow dead and gone any whit lessen the loue of the liuing mate This instance I haue the rather mentioned because in many who are farre from setting their affection on strange flesh their loue of a former husband or wife departed is so fast fixed in their heart as they can neuer againe so intirely loue any other They who are so minded are not fit to be ioined with another yoke-fellow after they are loosed from one If they mary againe and manifest such a minde they plainly shew that they respect this or that person more then Gods ordinance By Gods ordinance man and wife are no longer bound one to another then they liue together Death is an absolute diremption and maketh an vtter dissolution of the mariage bond If the man be dead the wife is deliuered from the law of the man so as shee may take another man Which liberty is also giuen to the man Being now free if they mary another that other being now a true husband or wife their loue must be as intire to that other as it was to the former yea and more intire if there were any defect in the former For as children maried out of their parents house must not retaine such a loue of their parents as shall swallow vp their loue of the partie to whom they are maried but must according to the law leaue father and mother and cleaue to their yoke-fellow so neither must the loue of a former husband or wife be predominant when they are maried to another This other must be as close cleaued
spot he did therefore no way pollute or defile his Spouse and that his loue might the better appeare to be chaste loue cast only vpon one Spouse and not many he vnited all his Saints together by the bond of his Spirit and made them all one body Hereby husbands must learne so to be affected towards their wiues as may stand with holinesse and chastitie though much loue be required yet it may not ouer-flowe those banks Mariage is honourable and a bed vndefiled It must therefore be vsed as an vndefiled thing This indeed appertaineth to the wife as well as to the husband But because he is the head and guide of his wife and ought to be as a patterne and president before her as Christ is before him therefore is it more specially applied to him The puritie of an husbands loue here spoken of hath a double vse 1. It restraineth an husbands loue to his owne wife There is a generall Christian loue whereby all occasions of doing good are taken with which an husband may and ought to loue others and a particular matrimoniall loue whereby he is moued to preferre his wife before all and to haue his heart set and fixed on her and so proper and peculiar to her 2. It orders and moderates his loue so as it turneth not into sinfull lust whereby that estate which in it selfe by vertue of Gods ordinance is holy is polluted §. 68. Of husbands lightnesse Contrary is not only adulterie whereof we haue spoken before but also wantonnesse lightnesse and vncleannesse with his wife For many intemperate and vnchaste husbands giuing the raines to their headstrong lusts manifest as much vnseemlinesse and plaine filthinesse in their words gestures and actions to say nothing of their thoughts which are not seene to their wiues as other doe to strumpets and harlots which is a most shamelesse thing and I am euen ashamed â— mention but because it is mentioned let such know thâ— they shall be accounted among such whoremongers and adulâ—rers as God will iudge §. 69. Of husbands louing their wiues more then themselues The quantity of Christs loue cannot be expressed for the measure of it was aboue measure He gaue himselfe for his Church and in that respect he calleth himselfe that Good sheepheard that gaue his life for his sheepe Greater loue then this hath no man What will not he doe for his spouse that gaue his life for her This may seeme to be too high a straine and pitch of loue for an husband to attaine vnto a matter wherein he is to â—eaue his patterne and not to follow Christ but yet S. Iohn addeth euen this extent to the loue of our brethren We ought saith he to lay downe our liues for the brethren therefore by â—ust consequence for our wiues But that this extent be not stretched too farre and husbands cast into a pit of needlesse â—erill two cautions must be noted 1. That there be an absolute necessity to bring vs to this â—raite of parting with our life which is when the good we â—ime at in the behalfe of our wiues cannot any other way be â—ffected but by venturing our life There was no other way â—â— redeeme the Church but by the bloud of Christ 2. That the good we intend in this case to our wiues be of â—reater valew then our temporall life as is the good of her â—ule the sauing of it Thus the Apostle saith I will most gladly bestowed for your soules Which minde men must much more â—rie towards their wiues It was for our saluation that Christ â—ue himselfe §. 70. Of husbands vnkindnesse Contrary is their vnkindnesse that preferre euery trifle of â—â—eir owne before the good of their wiues their profit their â—easure their promotion cleane draw away their hearts and â—â—fections from their wiues If any extraordinary charge must â— laid out or pains taken for their wiues good little loue â—ll then appeare whereby it appeares that there was no true â—â—d sound loue setled in their hearts towards their wiues As â—ld and other like mettals are tryed by the fire so loue by â—â—ictions and crosses §. 71. Of combats in pretence of wiues honour Contrary in another extreme is the ouer-bold and ouer-heady pretended manhood of such husbands as vpon euery iealous surmize and sleight report are ready to make challenges of fight and to enter into single combats and duels on pretence of maintaining their wiues honour This being no warrantable course of righting a wrong no honour can redound to the wife thereby but much dishonour and danger to the husband If he preuaile ouer his aduersarie and kill he is made guilty of murther thereby and so reproach and shame must needs come to himselfe wife and whole family if he be ouercome and slaine she may be reputed more guilty then she was before And oft it falleth out that God in iust iudgement giueth ouer the challenger into his aduersaries hand because he hath vndertaken so indirect a course §. 72. Of husbands Constancy in loue VI. The continuance of Christs loue was without date Hauing loued his owne he loued them vnto the end His loue was constant not by fits now louing then hating and euerlasting neuer repenting thereof neuer changing or altering his minde no prouocations no transgressions could euer make him forget to loue and cease to doe that good which he intended for his Church note what he said to her euen when she reuoulted from him Thou hast played the harlot with many louers yet returne againe to me and againe My mercy shall not depart away For his loue resteth not on the desert of his Church but on the vnchangeablenesse of his owne will As this manifested Christs loue to be true sound loue so it made it profitable and beneficiall to the Church which notwithstanding her many frailties by virtue hereof is glorified This last branch must be added to all the former branches of an husbands loue or else they will be all in vaine and to no purpose This giueth the truest tryall of sound loue Such was the loue betwixt Dauid and Ionathan the soundest loue that euer was betwixt partie and partie This bringeth the greatest glory to the partie which loueth and the greatest benefit to the partie which is loued That a mans loue may thus remaine firme and inuiolable 1. He must be sure to lay a good foundation he must ground his loue on Gods ordinance and loue his wife in regard of the matrimoniall bond which knitteth them together and that neere vnion which thence ariseth and so it will last so long as that knot lasteth 2. He must further support and strengthen it with an inuiolable resolution to be changed and altered with no prouocation but rather to passe by all infirmities indeauouring in loue to redresse them if possibly he can if not to beare with them §. 73. Of husbands variablenesse Contrary is their
variablenesse whose loue is ready to turne as a weather cocke with euery blast of a contrary winde now â—ender-hearted then againe hard-hearted now smiling then â—owring now giuing this and that fauour then denying euery thing euen such things as are needfull Many whose loue was as hot as fire while their wiues were â—oung or their friends liued or while they pleased them when â—hose occasions are taken away proue in their loue as cold â—s ice Againe others by some continuance in doing good to their wiues thinke it a burden and waxing weary cleane leaue off â—heir former good course which plainly sheweth that they neâ—er truly and intirely loued their wiues By this patterne of Christ here propounded to husbands â—e haue on the one side a good direction to teach vs how to â—â—ue our wiues as hath beene particularly declared and on the â—ther side matter of humiliation in that it sheweth vs how â—â—re short we come of our bounden duty Howsoeuer wiues â—ay most complaine of their burden because it is a Subiectionâ—hereunto â—hereunto by nature we are all loath to yeeld yet I am sure â—â—e heauiest burden is laid vpon the husbands shoulders and â—uch more easie it is to performe the part of a good wife then a good husband §. 74. Of husbands louing their wiues as themselues To the example of Christ the Apostle annexeth the patâ—â—ne of ones selfe in these words So ought men to loue their â—â—es as their owne bodies Quest Is not the former patterne sufficient Is this latter more excellent or more perfect Answ Christs example is a full compleat perfect and euery way sufficient patterne farre more excellent then this of a mans selfe this is not annexed to adde any thing to that or in regard of the excellency hereof but only in regard of our dulnesse to make the point somewhat more plaine and perspicuous For this patterne is more sensible and better discerned Euery one knoweth how he loueth his owne body but few or none know how Christ loueth his Church Besides that example of Christ may seeme too high and excellent for any to attaine vnto euen inimitable therefore to shew that he requireth no more then a man may performe if he will set himselfe with care and conscience to doe his duty he addeth the patterne of ones selfe that which one doth to his body if he will he may doe to his wife No direction can be taken from this latter patterne but might be referred to the former as most of the former though in a farre meaner manner may be referred to the latter For the loue which a man beareth to himselfe is true and intire without all dissimulation the most dissembling wretch in the world who in his dealings with other men doth nothing vprightly nor will nor can dissemble with himselfe though other men shall neuer know the depth of his heart yet the spirit which is in him euen himselfe knoweth it so as this patterne also presseth truth and sincerity on husbands in their affection towards their wiues of all other they may not dissemble and deale doubly with them but let them know the intirenesse of their affection towards them and see they neither faune oâ— them nor flatter them They which pretend great loue to their wiues in shew only offend against nature it selfe As the foresaid loue of a mans owne selfe is for manner intire and true so also free not forced and for measure as great as possibly iâ— can be and for continuance constant and so like to Christ loue But there are two points especially to be considered in the loue of ones selfe which aboue others are most sensibly discerned in this patterne 1. Tendernesse 2. Cheerefulnesse No other man will or can so tenderly handle a mans hand arme legge or any other part of his body as himselfe he is very sensible of his owne smart The metaphors which the Apostle vseth in these words He nourisheth and cherisheth it doe liuely set forth this tendernesse for they are taken from fowles and birds which very charily and tenderly houer ouer their young ones couering them all ouer with their wings and feathers but so bearing vp their bodies as no weight lieth vpon them Thus ought husbands with all tendernesse and mildnesse to deale with their wiues as we haue before noted in many particulars only this example of a mans selfe I thought good to set before husbands as a liuely patterne wherein they might behold a president without exception going before them and whereby they might receiue excellent direction for the better performing of the particulars before noted Againe no friend no parent no other party will or can so willingly and cheerefully doe any kindnesse for one as a man for himselfe This among other is one especiall point which the law aimeth at when it enioynes a man to loue his neighbour as himselfe namely as willingly and readily as himselfe Whatsoeuer a man doth for himselfe he doth much more cheerefully then for another There needeth no other proofe then experience Let men take notice of their owne minde and disposition when they doe things for themselues and this will be as cleere as the light when the Sunne shineth forth at â—oone day Such an affection ought husbands to haue to their wiues they ought more willingly and cheerefully to doe any thing â—or their wiues then for parents children friends or any other Though this cheerefulnesse be an inward disposition of the â—eart yet may it be manifested by a mans forwardnesse and â—â—adinesse to doe his wife good when his wife shall no sooner desire a kindnesse then he will be ready to grant it as â—ooz saith to Ruth I will doe to thee all that thou requirest yea by any meanes he may know that this or that will be beâ—oofull to her though she desire it not yet to effect it for her which was the minde of the said Booz to Ruth as the history â—â— many particulars sheweth Contrary is the disposition of those husbands who so grudgingly repiningly and discontentedly doe those things which they doe in their wiues behalfe as their wiues had rather they were not done at all The manner of doing them causeth more griefe to tender hearted wiues then the things themselues can doe good Hitherto of the manner which husbands ought to obserue in performing their duties The reasons to inforce the same remaine to be handled §. 75. Of Christs example a motiue to prouoke husbands to loue their wiues The forenamed examples of Christ and of our selues as they are patternes for our direction so generall motiues to prouoke and stirre vs vp the more to performe all the forenamed duties after the manner prescribed A greater and stronger motiue cannot be yeelded then the example of Christ Example in it selfe is of great force to prouoke vs to doe any thing especially if it be the example of some
to hate his wife nor any vice seeme to him intolerable with goodnes he â—â—ught to ouercome euill If notorious sins seemed intolerable to Christ or that he thought any occasion iust to cause hatred many â—hat are of his Church would oft draw his hatred vpon them but Christ hateth neuer a member of his Church 4. There is no hope that euer I shall receiue any helpe of my wife or benefit from her Ans There is little charitie in such as can conceiue no hope for â—ue hopeth all things but yet the case so standeth with Christ The Church is so vtterly vnable to help or benefit him as he may iustly â—y he cannot hope to receiue any thing froÌ„ her Christ loueth the â—hurch for her own good not for his so ought husbands Thus if Christs example be well weighed obserued of husbands it will â—ford matter enough to remoue euery doubt or scruple raised to â—enate their affections from their wiues Fitly therefore hath the Apostle set it before husbands both to direct them how to loue their wiues and also to moue them so to doe §. 76. Of a mans loue to himselfe a motiue to prouoke him to loue his wife To the same purpose that Christs example tendeth tendeth also the patterne of a mans selfe Great is the affection that a man beareth to himselfe to his owne flesh his owne bodie he neuer hateth but euer loueth himselfe no sore no disease no paine no stinch that the flesh bringeth to a man can make him hate it but rather all manner of infirmities doe make him the more to pitty tender and cherish it This is a worke of nature the most heathenish and barbarous that euer were doe it Now a wife being to a man as his bodie and his flesh for they two are one flesh and God hauing commanded men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies these conclusions will necessarily follow from this motiue 1. He that loueth not his wife is more caried with the instinct of nature then with the expresse charge of the God of nature Natures instinct moueth him to loue his bodie But Gods expresse charge moueth him not to loue his wife 2. He that loueth not his wife is worse then an infidell and a barbarian yea then a very beast for all these loue their owne bodies and their owne flesh but a wife by Gods ordinance is as ones bodie and his flesh 3. He that loueth his wife loueth himselfe the Apostle himselfe in these very words layeth downe this conclusion from whence by the rule of contraries this also will follow He that loueth not his wife loueth not himselfe 4. He that loueth not his wife cannot but bring woe and mischiefe vpon himselfe For the damage and mischiefe which followeth on a wife through any neglect of dutie on her husband part followeth also on him as the mischiefe which followeth on the bodie through any negligence of the head lighteth also on the head If these be not motiues sufficient to prouoke an husband to loue his wife I know not what can be sufficient The fifth Treatise Duties of Children §. 1. Of the generall Heads of Childrens duties EPHES. 6. 1. Children obey your Parents in the Lord for this is right 2. Honour thy father and mother which is the first commandement with promise 3. That it may be well with thee and thou maist liue long on the earth THe second couple in a familie are Parents Children In laying downe their duties the Apostle beginneth with children his direction and instigation vnto them is laid downe in the three first verses of the sixt chapter wherein 1. He declareth their dutie 2. He addeth reasons to inforce the same In laying downe their dutie he noteth three points 1. Wherein it consisteth obey honour 2. To whom it is to be performed your parents 3. After what manner it is to be done in the Lord. The reasons vsed by the Apostle are foure 1. The place of parents in the Lord. 2. The aequitie of the thing this is right 3. The charge of God Honour thy father c. 4. The reward promised That it may goe well c. Vnder this word obey which the Apostle vseth and that word honour which the law vseth are all those duties comprised which any where thorowout the whole Scripture are inioyned to children We will therefore set them downe in some order and handle them distinctly one after another 1. The Fountaine of childrens duties is to be searched out 2. The Streames that flow from thence are to be obserued The Fountaine is an inward disposition of the heart compounded of loue and feare The Streames issuing from thence extend vnto parents both while they are liuing and also when they are dead Childrens duties which are to be performed to their parents while they liue haue respect to their Authoritie Necessitie  The Authoritie of parents requireth of children Reuerence Obedience  Their Necessitie requireth Recompence The duties which children owe to their parents deceased respect their Body Credit  Their Body with decency must be buried Their Credit with honour must be maintained §. 2. Of Childrens loue to their Parents I make the fountaine of childrens duties to be a mixed and compound disposition in respect of that authoritie and affection which is mixed together in parents The authoritie of parents requireth feare in children and their affection loue So intire and so ardent is parents affection towards their children as it would make children too bold and insolent if there were not authoritie mixed therewith to worke feare and so supreme and absolute is their authoritie ouer them as it would make children like slaues to dread their parents if a fatherly affection were not tempered therewith to breed loue But both these ioyned together make a very good composition loue like sugar sweetneth feare and feare like salt seasoneth loue and thus to ioyne them both together it is a louing-feare or a fearingloue which is the ground of childrens duties Where Christ forbiddeth an excessiue loue in children to their parents he implieth that parents are a fit obiect for children to loue so as their loue be wel moderated yea he implieth that it is an affection euen by nature ingraffed in children to loue their parents Ioseph is commended vnto children as a worthy patterne in louing his father and that from his youth till the decease of his father in testimony whereof in his younger yeeres he brought to his father the euill report of his brethren whereby he incurred their enuie and hatred which he would neuer haue done if he had not loued his father and hauing beene long absent from his father when by Gods prouidence there was offered an occasion for him to meet with his brethren one of his first questions to them was about their father and hearing that he was liuing he thought it not enough to send him food for his need but must also needs see his
face and haue him dwell with him and while his father was in the way he went out to meet him and at first sight fell on his neck and wept a good while a token of great affection That loue which naturally parents beare to their children ought in equitie to breed in children a loue to their parents For loue deserueth loue and most vnworthy are they to be loued who cannot loue againe The loue of parents aboue all others is to be answered with loue on childrens part to the vttermost of their power because it is free great and constant Besides there is a necessitie of loue in children to their parents lest for want thereof their subiection which of all others ought to be most free should turne into slauish seruitude This ought children the rather to labour after because by nature they are nothing so prone to loue their parents as their parents are to loue them Loue is weightie and as weighty things it descendeth Children therefore with conscience of dutie must labour to make supply of this defect and helpe nature by grace I denie not but naturally there is in children a greater loue to their parents then to others yet in comparison of the heat of parents loue to them their loue to their parents is but cold Wherfore as the heat of the Sun shining much and long on a stone wall draweth a reflection of heat from that wall so the hot beames of parents loue which with feruency and constancy is cast on children ought to prouoke and stirre vp children to send forth a reflection of loue on their parents Two extreames are contrary to this affection of loue One is want of naturall affection which is a vice most odious and abominable in all but most of all in children The Apostle reckoneth this among the most heighnous vices that be The other is hatred and despight of parents a vice more then monstrous and vnnaturall From thence commeth mocking and cursing of parents whereof we shall afterwards heare §. 3. Of a childes feare of his parent To the forenamed dutie of loue must feare be added which is a childes awfull respect of his parent This awfull respect ariseth from an honourable esteeme which a childe in his iudgement and opinion hath of his parent as he is his parent and from it proceedeth on the one side a desire and indeauour in all things to please the parent and on the other side a loathnesse to offend him In this respect the feare of a childe is opposed to the feare of a slaue For a childes feare being mixed with loue hath respect to the offence which a parent may take but a slaues feare which is ordinarily mixed with hatred hath respect to nothing but the punishment which his master may inflict vpon him The forenamed feare is so proper to children as that awfull respect which the Saints beare to God is called a siliall or child-like feare This feare in a childe is an especiall branch of that honour which the law requireth of children to their parents and it is in expresse termes inioyned to children by the law That phrase which God vseth of Miriam If her father had but spit in her face should she not be ashamed seuen daies sheweth that there ought to be such a feare of the parent in a childes heart as should worke shame in it when the parent is offended A worthy patterne we haue hereof in Iaakob who was loath to gaine the blessing with offence of his father This feare keepeth loue in compasse and restraineth a childe from ouermuch saucinesse and malipartnesse And it is a cause of a childes reuerend and dutifull carriage to his parent For as the heart is affected the carriage will be ordered Contrary hereunto is that light or which is more abomiâ—nable that base and vile esteeme of parents which is in the heart of many children especially if parents be poore of low degree vnlearned ignorant or subiect to any infirmities It cannot be but that Cham had too light if not a base esteeme of his father when he derided him A true filiall feare would haue restrained him from that extreme Wherefore to breed and cherish this feare and to preuent â—r redresse the contrary extreme let children well informe themselues of their parents place and authoritie how they are in Gods stead and a meanes vnder God of their childrens being children haue receiued their very substance from the subâ—tance of their parents In which respect though they should â—eeme contemptible to others yet not to their children Thus much of a childes inward disposition towards his parent The manifestation thereof must be by his outward carriage and that in two things Reuerence and Obedience both which respect a parents authoritie §. 4. Of a childes Reuerence in refraining speech before his parent and in hearkening to his parent The outward reuerence which children owe to their paâ—â—nts consisteth partly in their speech partly in their carriage Their speech both to and of their parents must sauour reuerence To their parents in presence OF their parents in absence In presence by refraining their speech well framing   For refraining speech two vertues are requisite Silence Patience  Silence in forbearing to speake breaking of speech  Patience in hearkening to their parents The two branches of silence in forbearing to speake espeâ—â—â—lly when parents are speaking or till parents giue leaue to their children to speake and in breaking off speech when parents come into the place where children are speaking are tokens of great reuerence Thus children testifie that there are some in place whom they much respect and honour Iob doth thus set forth the respect which Princes and others did beare to him in his prosperitie The Princes saith he refrained talking and laid their hand vpon their mouth the Nobles held their peace c. Namely while he was in presence or while he spake The like may be said of childrens patience in induring their parents speech which Iob also noteth in these words Vnto me men gaue eare and waited and kept silence Though parents in their speech seeme to be long and tedious yet must children indure it And it is very needfull that patience be added to silence because many parents in tender loue of their children and earnest desire of their good thinke they can neuer speake enough in instructing and admonishing them The many exhortations giuen in Scripture vnto children to heare hearken giue eare giue heed marke and obserue the words of their parents doe imply the forenamed silence and patience for they who ought to be swift to heare must be slow to speake I denie not but much more is intended vnder those phrases namely obedience yet must these also be presupposed for he that will not in silence patiently hearken to his parents while they speake will much lesse obey what they say
inhumane impietie was manifested in the world the Ciuill Law ordained this punishment If any shall kill his parent let him not be put to the sword nor fire nor any other vsuall punishment but let him be sowed in a sacke with a dog and a cocke and a viper and an ape and cast into the next sea or riuer that while life is in him he may begin to want all vse of the elements and be depriued while he liueth of the aire and when he is dead of the earth This sinne hauing beene committed among the heathen the Apostle reckoneth it vp among other most notorious and barbarous sinnes 1. Tim. 1. 9. As murther is one of those sinnes which the earth can least beare and which cryeth loudest to heauen for vengeance so among the seuerall kinds of murther this is the most vnsupportable and crying Thus much of the duties of children which they are to performe while their parents liue It remaineth to speake of those which they are to performe when their parents are dead §. 45. Of childrens care to burie their parents being dead The duties which children owe to their parents after they are dead concerne the Bodie of their deceased pareÌ„t Credit   It is the dutie of children to bring the bodies of their parents deceased with such decencie and honour as may be answerable to the place and reputation wherein they liued So as both the thing it selfe and the manner of doing it is to be obserued The thing it selfe namely Buriall of the corps of such as are deceased hath euer beene in vse in Gods Church and it hath beene vsed as a meanes to maintaine our hope of the resurrection of our bodies Many of the heathen who neuer dreamt of the resurrection were wont to burne the dead bodies of their friends other heathen learned this manner of buriall from the Church though they knew not the mysterie thereof It is more cleare then needs be proued that Gods people from the beginning of the world haue performed this dutie of buriall to their friends but it is not pertinent to the point in hand to insist vpon the generall that it belongs especially to children to procure this dutie to be performed is now the point to be proued which is readily done by the approued examples of Isaak Iaakob Ioseph and others expresly recorded in Scripture And great reason there is for it for 1. It is a testimonie of great loue and good respect to the partie deceased Now who should manifest more loue and greater respect then a childe 2. It is a kinde of blessing promised by God to his Saints to be buried as on the other side it is a curse threatned against obstinate sinners not to be buried In this respect Dauid blesseth the men of Iabesh Gilead for burying Saul and acknowledgeth it a kindnesse done to Saul Now who ought rather to procure a blessing and doe a kindnesse to parents then children who are oft blessed through their parents meanes 3. It being a great deformity to haue a mans corps lie aboue ground for no carkase will be more loathsome then a mans if it lie vnburied children who are most bound to couer their parents deformity are in this respect bound to burie their corps Contrary is their practise whose mindes are so set on their parents goods as they cleane neglect their bodies So soone as their parents breath is out of their body they so busie themselues about the things which they haue left behinde them as their corps is ready to stinke before care be taken for the buriall of it Yea some will purposely keepe their parents corps aboue ground till they be exceeding noisome for receiuing some reuenues or debts or other accounts which must be paid before the corps be buried If their corps must needes for sometime be kept aboue ground let them be imbalmed or so vsed as they may not sauour They who are carelesse hereof shew that they respect their parents wealth more then his person and honour In which respect they also heinously transgresse who are so greedy of their parents estate as they must needs preuent his departure and like Adoniah enter vpon their fathers estate and take possession of his goods before breath is out of his body whereby they doe oft cause great disquietnesse to him that would depart in peace Againe others bearing an inward grudge and secret hatred against a brother or other kinsman whom their parent intirely loued and in that respect durst not meddle with him in their parents life-time so soone as their parent is dead picke a quarrell with the party hated and so disturbe and hinder their parents funerall Such a plot Esau intended but God defeated it whereby it appeareth that God is displeased therewith §. 46. Of the decency wherewith children ought to see their parents buried The manner after which children ought to see their parents buried must be with such decency as is agreeable to the commendable custome of the countrie and Church where their parents die and with such honour as is in some measure answerable to the estate and place of their parents while they liued at least if it be not aboue the meanes that the parent hath left or aboue the abilitie of the childe that maketh the solemnitie Ioseph was a great Gouernour in Egypt by reason whereof his father when he came thither was highly accounted of accordingly with great honour did he carry him to his graue There are two extremes contrary to the forenamed decency â—nd honour One is an ouerlauish and prodigall sumptuousnesse â—nd solemnitie at their parents funerall farre aboue the estate â—nd farre beyond the meanes which the parent hath left and â—arre also aboue the estate and ability of the childe himselfe â—ome by the needlesse solemnitie of their parents funerall are â—â— farre cast into debt as they are neuer able to recouer themselues againe and so bring more dishonour to their parents by â—he weaknesse of their childes estate then honour by the soâ—â—mnitie of the funerall there may be great honour and much decency in a funerall where is not extraordinary charâ—es instance Steuens funerall The other extreme is too base and priuate a manner of â—urying their parents much vnbeseeming both their parents â—nd their owne estate and means which ariseth from a mixture â—f pride and couetousnesse possessing their hearts Pride maâ—eth them haue no solemnity at all because couerousnesse will not suffer them to exceed in their solemnitie Hence it commeth to passe that they chuse out strange places where neither their parents or selues are knowne and the dead of the night that none may espie them and appoint an vncertaine time that no friend may accompany them God oft meeteth with such proud couetous children in their kinde and causeth them with like dishonour to be brought to their graues §. 47. Of childrens
then a hundred stripes into a foole and because it may be vsed when it is not so meet to vse strokes and blowes as when children are growne to man-age The many good fruits which the holy Ghost noteth to proceed from due reproofe doe shew that it is a dutie whereof parents ought to make conscience as they desire to promote the good of their children and so much the rather because many good fruits redound to the parents that reproue as well as to the children reproued In regard of their good who are reproued it is said Reproofes for instruction are the way of life they cause vnderstanding and make prudent In regard of their good who reproue it is said To them that rebuke shall be delight that is much comfort and matter of reioycing so as they shall not need to repent what they haue done and a blessing of good shall come vpon them that is either a blessing of good men who will blesse praise and commend them or a blessing of good things and that from the Lord who will reward them for this conscionable performance of their dutie Vpon these grounds holy men haue not spared to rebuke their children as there was occasion Though Eli did somewhat in this duty yet because he was not more seuere therein â—he brought destruction both vpon himselfe and his children The direction noted § 40. and 47. and Treat 4. § 35. may be here applied §. 45. Of parents cockering their children Contrary is their too much doting on children who are â—oth to giue them a foule word Dauid though otherwise a â—very wise man herein manifested much folly for he displeased â—ot Adoniah at any time in saying why hast thou done so and like enough it is that also he so cockered his other rebellious sonne Absolom Note the fearefull issue that followed thereupon both to father and children Though their father would not displease them yet they cared not to displease their father yea to grieue his heart and vex his soule The like may all foolish doting parents looke for at their childrens hands For first parents by neglect of this dutie highly displease God therefore in iust reuenge will God giue their children ouer to displease and vex them Secondly neglect of reproofe is a meanes to make children rude presumptuous rebellious and so carelesse to please their parents Yea all things where in children offend through want of education shall be required at their parents hands §. 46. Of correcting children The latter and more proper kinde of correction which is by stripes and blowes is also a meanes appointed by God to helpe the good nurture and education of children It is the last remedy which a parent can vse a remedy which may doe good when nothing else can It is by the holy Ghost both expresly commanded and also very oft pressed vnder these and such like phrases Châ—sten thy sonne correct thy sonne with-hold not correction from the childe thou shalt smite him with the rod. Were there no other motiue this were sufficient Gods charge was such a motiue to Abraham as at it he would haue sacrificed his sonne and wilt not thou at Gods command correct thy childe It is further commended by Gods owne example which is not only set forth in some particular instances but by his generall constant dealing with all and that as an especiall token and fruit of his loue For whom the Lord loueth he chasteneth and scourgeth euery sonne whom he receiueth If ye be without chastisement wherof all are partakers then are ye bastards and not sonnes Let this example of God be well weighed for it is of great weight Who can better tell what kinde of dealing is fittest for children then God Who can better nurture children then God Who doth more truly aime at and procure the good of children then God Yea who doth more tender children then God If God the father of spirits in wisdome and loue thus deale with his children fathers of the flesh may not thinke by the contrary to shew wisdome or loue Their wisdome will be folly their loue hatred Vpon these grounds it is taken for a thing granted that parents who tender the good of their children as they should doe chastise their children as need requireth for it is said that the Lord correcteth whom he loueth as a father the sonne in whom he delighteth If parents vsed it not this were no good inference to say as a father againe as a thing without controuersie it is said we haue had fathers of our flesh which corrected vs. The grounds of the equitie of this dutie respect partly the children corrected and partly the parents that correct In regard of children it freeth them from much euill and worketh in them much good Correction is as physicke to purge out much corruption which lurketh in children and as a salue to heale many wounds and sores made by their folly In which respect Solomon saith that Foolishnesse is bound in the heart of a childe but the rod of correction shall driue it farre from him and againe The blewnesse of a wound is a purging medicine against euill so doe stripes the inward parts of the belly In regard of the inward operation of this physicke correction is further said to preserue a childe from death if thou beatest him he shall not die and that not only from temporall death as many children are thus preserued from the Magistrates sword but also from eternall death thou shalt deliuer his soule from hell Note this ye cockering parents whose ouer-much lenitie is very great crueltie For may we not iustly count him a cruell parent that should suffer diseases boiles sores and wounds to remaine increase and fester in his childe and giue him no physicke nor apply any plaisters or medicines to him Nay rather who seeth his sonne running into a flaming fire or deepe water and would not hold him backe Euen so cruell and more cruell are they who suffer their children to runne on in euill rather then correct them Obiect Who can endure to make his owne childe smart and to put him to paine Answ The future fruit is more to be considered then the present paine Potions pills and corasiues are fulsome bitter and painfull but because there is a necessitie of vsing them and great mischiefe is preuented by the vse of them wise parents will not forbeare them for the sensible bitternesse and paine Fitly doth the Apostle thus answer that obiection No chastning for the present seemeth to be ioyous but grieuous neuerthelesse afterward it yeeldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse This may be applied to parents corrections as well as to Gods The good which correction bringeth to children is by Solomon noted in this and such like phrases The rod giueth wisdome for it maketh children obserue what is good and what euill what commendable and what
wife to Iephthah Thou shalt not inherit in our fathers house for thou art the sonne of a strange woman Iust was that blame which Iotham laid vpon the men of Shechem for making Abimelech the base sonne of Ierubbaal King and iust was Gods vengeance vpon them for that wrong done to Ierubbaals legitimate children 2. If he be notoriously wicked Thus Ruben for committing abominable incest lost his birthright Many particular crimes are reckoned vp by the ciuill Lawyers which would be too long here to recite §. 71. Of the dutie of fathers and mothers in law The extent of this title Fathers is in the last place to be considered Not only naturall parents themselues but also all that are in their place are comprised vnder it As they who are in the place of parents 1. By the bond of mariage 2. By propinquity of bloud 3. By voluntary appointment The first sort are fathers and mothers in law who are so reckoned either by the mariage of parents themselues or by the mariage of their children That man or woman which is maried to a parent that had children before their mariage is in the place of a naturall parent thus Ioseph was a father to Iesus and Keturah a mother to Isaak So againe the naturall parents of that sonne that hath maried a wife or of that daughter that is maried to an husband are in the place of parents to the wife of their sonne and to the husband of their daughter Thus Iethro was a father to Moses and Naomi a mother to Ruth All these are to account their children in law that is the children of their husband and wife or the wiues of their sons and the husbands of their daughters as their owne naturall children and according to the age and place of these children to performe the forenamed duties and euery way to seeke their good except in such duties as after a peculiar manner belong to naturall parents as nursing to a naturall mother leauing the inheritance to a naturall parent For a patterne hereof take the forenamed examples of Ioseph and Naomi What naturall parents could doe more for their owne children then Ioseph did for Iesus and Naomi for Ruth The history noteth how Ioseph tooke care to haue his wiues childe circumcised and presented in the temple how he fled from place to place to preserue the childs life how perplexed he was when he thought the childe was lost how he trained him vp in his owne house The history also noteth how Naomi brought Ruth her sonnes wife into her own countrey and retained her with her selfe and directed her whither to goe and what husband to haue and became a nurse to her childe 1. Mariage maketh man and wife one flesh in which respect they ought to haue one minde and the same affections as mutually each to other so ioyntly to the children of each other On which ground also the husband and wife of a childe being one flesh with the childe ought as the childe to be respected On this ground God counteth the Saints his deare children because they are espoused to his naturall son 2. To respect the children of an husband or wife as their owne is a great euidence of intire loue to the husband and wife And to respect the husband and wife of a childe is a great euidence of loue to the childe it selfe If the worlds prouerbe hold true loue me and loue my dog how much more true is this Christian rule loue me and loue my childe or loue me and loue mine husband or loue me and loue my wife 3. This also is an especiall meanes to kindle and preserue mutuall loue betwixt man and wife who haue children of former husbands and wiues as also betwixt parents and children §. 72. Of the peruerse cariage of fathers and mothers in law to their children Contrary is the cariage of most fathers and mothers in law especially of those who are maried to husbands or to wiues that had children before mariage so farre they are from performing the forenamed duty as rather they enuy at the prosperity of their husbands and wiues children and secretly endeuour to hinder it in what they can and cunningly leeke to alienate the naturall parents affection from them whence fearefull tragedies haue beene made and lamentable mischiefes haue followed What other reason can be giuen hereof but a plaine instigation of the deuill who thus laboureth to disunite those whom God hath ioyned together For auoiding this snare note the mischiefes that follow from thence 1. Such parents sinne against Gods ordinance and as Eue leane more to Satans suggestion then to Gods direction 2. They alienate the hearts and affections of one from another not only from their children but from themselues 3. They prouoke their children in law to contemne and despise them and to yeeld no duty vnto them Hence note into what an hell vnkinde fathers and mothers in law doe cast themselues If this were duly weighed I thinke they would be otherwise minded But the god of this world doth so blinde their eies with selfe-loue and with enuy that they cannot see the mischiefes whereinto they implunge themselues This is a point the more to be weighed because the fault here taxed is so common and hath in all ages beene too common What grieuous complaints haue in former times beene made and still are made by children against fathers and mothers in law Whence also direfull imprecations haue followed Let widowers and widowes that haue children seriously thinke of it before hand and be the more circumspect in taking a second or third husband or wife and after they are maried let them take heed of Satans snares and let conscience of dutie more preuaile with them then corruption of nature §. 73. Of the faults of parents to their childrens husbands and wiues Many parents to the husbands and wiues of their children doe also much transgresse and swarue from their dutie for 1. They will shew much more respect to their owne children then to the children of their husbands or wiues as by comming to their daughters when their husbands are abroad and neuer but then and sending for their sonnes to their house but not for their wiues 2. In all differences they will take part with their owne children though it be in the worse part and shew great partiality 3. They will oft giue very ill counsell aduising their sons to keepe their wiues short aduising their daughters not to be too subiect to their husbands yea priuily to purloine from their husbands 4. If they liue with their children they will so prie into euery thing that their childrens husband or wife doth and shew such suspicion and iealously in euery thing as they cannot but cause much discord and hence it oft commeth to passe that either parent and childe or husband and wife must be parted
reproofe Mat. 18. 15. Direction for reprouing a wife whose offence is publike 4. Reproue gently Pro. 25. 15. A reproofe may be sharpe not bitter Gen. 30. 2. Iob 2. 10. 2 Sam. 6. 21 22. Rebuke neuer to be giuen by a man in passion Mat. 6. 22. Rebuke to be put off while a wife is in passion 1 Sam. 20. 30. 1 Sam. 20. 32. * Treat 3. §. 10. An husbands cariage must be milde 1. A milde countenance Gen. 33. 10. Psal 4. 6. Gen. 4. 6. Gen. 31. 2. Contrary 1. A lofty brow 2. A grim looke 3. A frowning forehead 4. A fiery eye 2. Mild geslure Obiect Gen. 26. 8. Answ 1 Sam. 1. 4 5. 1 Sam. 1. 4. Vipera virus ob venerationem nuptiarum euomit Et tu duritiem animi tuferitatem tu crudelitatem ob vnionis reuerentiam non deponis Basil Hexaem hom 7. Ambr. Hexaem l. 5. c. 7. vrget hanc ipsam similitudinem Huiusmodi virum siquidem vir appellandus est potius quà m fera patricidae matricidae similem dixeris Chrys hom 26. in 1 Cor. 11. An husband may not beat his wife Reasons 1. No warrant in the word * §. 4. 2. Small disparity Summa iniuria est vitae sociam in rebus necessarijs tibi coniunctam taquà m mancipium ignominia affioere Chrys ibid. 3. Neere coniunction a Eph. 5. 31. b 1 King 18. 28. c Mar. 5. 5. Eph. 5. 30. Mat. 28. 18. 4. No profit much mischiefe Adhibitis verberibus morbus non tollitur sed augetur exasperatur Melch. Iun. quaest Polit. par 2. Nullum sit tam magnum peccatum quod ad verberandum vxorem compellat Chrys hom 26. in 1 Cor. 11. Sedefendendo Gal. 6. 2. Considera mulierem debile vas esse tu autem vir propterea princeps factus es vt subditae feras imbecillitatem Chrys hom 26. in 1. Cor. 11. 1. Pet. 3. 7. Directions to husbands for bearing with their wiues infirmities Neque Saram tanquam sterilem contempsit Abraham nâ—que quicquam tale exprobauit Si vxor pauper sit noli exprobare si stulta noli ei insultare Ibid. Uxor iracunda c. admonenda adiuvanda consilio omni conatu anniten dum vt illis liberetur affectibus Ibid. 1 Sam. 1. 8. Gen. 21. 14. Prou. 19. 11. Eccl 7. 23. Gen. 30. 1. 2 c. Reason Best tryall of a mans wisdome loue Matth. 5. 46. Luk. 6. 32 33. Eph. 5. 23. * Treat 1. §. 15. Treat 3. §. 73. 1. Prouiding things needfull 1 Pet. 3. 7. 1 Tim. 5. 17. 1 Tim. 5. 8. Recordare quòd pater vxoris taÌ„quam depositum quoddam filiam tibi tradidit omnibus relictis matre domo seipso omnem eius curaÌ„ tuae dexterae commisit Chrys hoÌ„ 26. in 1. Cor. 11. Contrary to take a wife only for himselfe Pro. 18. 22. Priuate means of edification Act. 10. 2 30. Iudg. 17. 10. 2 King 4. 11. Publike meanes of edification 1 Sam. 1. 7. 2. 19. Luk. 2. 41. Ezek. 3. 18. c. b Jsa 4. 1. c Exo. 21. 10. * Treat 2. Part. 2. §. 29. Treat 3. §. 49. The paines of womens trauell Psal 48 6. Isa 13. 8. 21. 3 Ier. 4. 31. 30. 6. Mic. 49. Gen. 35. 16 c. 1 Sam. 4. 19. 20. * See Treat 2. Part. 2. § 30. 39. Si quid vxor peccauerit consolare noli moerorem augere Chrys hom 26. in 1 Cor. 11. * Treat 3. §. 38. 1 Sam. 1. 23. * §. 6. * Treat 3. §. 23. 29. 33. Pro. 31. 15. c. Vers 21. Uers 28. Vers 20. Vers 11. Uers 28. 1 Pet. 3. 7. Eph 4. 8. Husbands before they die must make their will euen for their wiues good 1 King 1. 21. Husbands on their death-bed must commend their wiues to some faithfull friend Iob. 19 26 27. Reason Truest triall of loue at departure Contrary 1. A wilfull inability 2 Making away their wiues ioynter or any other right 3. Defeating of thirds Rom. 13. 5. 4. Making no will Gen. 20 16. Ruth 3. 9. Ruth 2. 12. * Treat 1. §. 15. and treat 3. §. 73. 1 Sam. 27. 3. 30. 18. A wife must be kept from being seduced A wise stolne away must be fetched home Iudg. 19. 2. 2 San. 3. 13 14. 1 Sam. 30. 18. A wiues credit must be maintained See Treat 2. Part 2. §. 31. c. Luke 10. 16. A wife must be defended against strangers seruants and children Est 7. 7 8. c. Licèt omnia proijcias nihil molestius continget quà m non habere beneuolam domi vxorem peccatum nullum magis dolendum inueneris quà m cum vxore seditionem habere Chrysost hoÌ„ 26. in 1. Cor. 11. Genes 16. 6. 21. 14. Contrary Dissolute carelesnesse 1. In suffering seducers to come to the house 2. In suffering wiues to goe whither they list Luke 15. 4. 3. In not regarding ill reports of wiues Pro. 12. 4. 4. In suffering wiues to be misused Exod. 2. 13. 5. In boulstring vp children or seruants against wiues Si illam quae secundum post te locum obtinet contumelia afficis non parum tui principatus honori derogas Chrys loc cit The manner of an husbands loue set forth by Christs manner of louing his Church in six branches 1. Christ first loueth the Church 1 Joh. 4. 19. Cant. 1. 2. Husbands must by their loue prouoke their wiues to loue Pro. 2. 17. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Sicaput est vir praecedere debet in omnibus bonis factis vxorem suam vt illa imitetur virum sequatur caput suum Aug. de decem chor c. 3. * Treat 1. §. 10. Treat 3. §. 57. 2. Christ loueth in truth Vers 26 27. Husbands must loue in deed * 1 Ioh. 3. 18. * 1 Cor. 9. 5. 3. Christ loueth freely Deut. 7. 7 8. Eph. 5. 27. Husbands loue must be free 1 Cor. 13. 5. 1 Pet. 3. 7. 4. Christs loue pure Eph. 5. 26 27. 1 Cor. 12. 12 13 Husbands loue must be chaste Heb. 13. 4. * Treat 2. part 2. §. 5 8. Heb. 13. 4. 5 Christs loue extended to the giuing of himselfe a Ephes 5 25. b Iohn 10. 11. c 15. 13. How husbands must loue their wiues more then themselues 1 Iohn 3. 16. Cautions about an husbands louing his wife more then himselfe 2 Cor. 12. 15. * Treat 3. §. 6. 6 Christs loue perpetuall a Ioh. 13. 1. b Hos 2. 19. Ier. 3. 1. 2 Sam. 7. 15. Husbands must be constant in their loue See Treat 1. §. 10. * Treat 3. §. 59. Eph. 5. 28. To Christs example the patterne of ones selfe is added 1. Because it is more sensible 2. Because it is more imitable The patterne of louing ones selfe setteth forth the same things that Christs loue doth 1 Cor. 2. 11. Man is tender towards himselfe Eph. 5. 29. Husbands must deale tenderly with their wiues Man is cheerefull in doing himselfe
pure cheerefull constant for conscience sake § 54 55 c. TREAT IV.  Particular duties of Husbands  WJsdome and Loue the generall heads of all husbands duties § 2 4.  1 Acknowledgment of a wiues neere coniunction and fellowship with her husband § 6. 2 A good esteeme of his owne wise to be the best for him and worthy of loue on his part § 9. 3 An inward intire affection § 11. 4 An outward amiable cariage towards his wife which consisteth in an husband-like grauitie mildnesse courteous acceptance of her curtesie and allowing her to weare fit apparell § 4 15 22 40 49. 5 Milde and louing speech to and of his wife § 24 25 26 c. 6 A wise maintaining his authoritie and forbearing to exact all that is in his power § 4 18. 7 A ready yeelding to his wiues request and giuing a generall consent and libertie vnto her to order the affaires of the house children seruants c. And a free allowing her something to bestow as she seeth occasion § 18 54. 8 A forbearing to exact more then his wife is willing to doe or to force her to dwell where it is not meet or to enioyne her to doe things vnmeet in themselues or against her minde § 18 26. 9 A wise ordering of reproofe not vsing it without iust and weighty cause and then priuatly and meekly § 35 38. 10 A prouident care for his wife according to his abilitie § 46 49 50 52. 11 A forbearing to exact any thing which stands not with a good conscience § 26. 12 Such a loue as Christ beareth to the Church and man to himselfe which is first free in deed and truth pure chaste constant § 61 c. and 74. TREAT III.  Aberrations of Wiues from their particular duties  AMbition the generall ground of the aberrations of wiues § 2.  1 A conceit that wiues are their husbands equals § 4. 2 A conceit that she could better subiect her selfe to any other man then to her owne husband § 6. 3 An inward despising of her husband § 8. 4 Vnreuerend behauiour towards her husband manifested by lightnesse fullennesse scornfulnes and vanitie in her attire § 9 10 11 12. 5 Vnreuerend speech to and of her husband § 13 14 15 16. 6 A stout standing on her owne will § 17. 7 A peremptorie vndertaking to doe things as she list without and against her husbands consent This is manifested by priuie purloyning his goods taking allowance ordering children seruants and cattell feasting strangers making iourneyes and vowes as her selfe listeth § 42. 8 An obstinate standing vpon her owne will making her husband dwell where she will and refusing to goe when he calls or to doe any thing vpon his command § 44 45 46 67. 9 Disdaine at reproofe giuing word for word and waxing worse for being reproued § 47 48. 10 Discontent at her husbands estate § 50. 11 Such a pleasing of her husband as offendeth Christ § 53. 12 Such a subiection as is most vnlike to the Churches viz. fained forced fickle c. § 56 c. TREAT IV.  Aberrations of Husbands from their particular duties  WAnt of wisdome and loue the generall ground of the aberrations of husbands § 3 5.  1 Too meane account of wiues § 8. 2 A preposterous conceit of his owne wife to be the worst of all and that he could loue any but her § 10. 3 A Stoicall disposition without all heat of affection § 12. 4 An vnbeseeming cariage towards his wife manifested by his basenesse tyrannicall vsage of her loftinesse harshnesse and niggardlinesse § 5 15 17 41 44 53. 5 Harsh proud and bitter speeches to and of his wife § 24 25 30 32 36 39. 6 Losing of his authoritie § 5. 7 Too much strictnesse ouer his wife This is manifested by restraining her from doing any thing without particular and expresse consent taking too strict account of her and allowing her no more then is needfull for her owne priuate vse § 19 55. 8 Too lordly a standing vpon the highest step of his authoritie being too frequent insolent and peremptorie in commanding things friuolous vnmeet and against his wiues minde and conscience § 30 32. 9 Rashnesse and bitternesse in reprouing and that too frequently on sleight occasions and disgracefully before children seruants and strangers § 36 38 39. 10 A carelesse neglect of his wife and niggardly dealing with her and that in her weaknesse § 46 51 53 11 A commanding of vnlawfull things § 26 30 32. 12 Such a disposition as is most vnlike to Christs and to that which a man beareth to himselfe viz. complementall impure for by-respects vnconstant c. § 62 c. and 74. A Table of the seuerall points handled in the eight Treatises of Domesticall Duties I. TREATISE An exposition of that part of Scripture out of which domesticall duties are raised § 1 OF the Apostles transition from generall duties to particulars pag. 1 2 Of ioyning seruice to men with praising of God 2 3 Of euery ones submitting himselfe to another 4 4 Of the feare of God 8 5 Of the feare of God mouing vs to doe seruice to men 11 6 Of limiting all dutie to man within the compasse of the feare of God 13 7 Of performing the duties of particular callings 16 8 Of the lawfulnesse of priuate functions in a family 17 9 Of the Apostles order in laying downe the duties of husbands and wiues in the first place 20 10 Of the Apostles order in setting downe inferiours duties in the first place 21 11 Of the reasons why wiues duties are first taught 25 12 Of wiues subiection 26 13 Of the persons to whom wiues must be subiect 27 14 How an husband is his wiues head 29 15 Of the resemblance of an husband to Christ 30 16 Of the resemblance betwixt The Church to Christ 31 A wife to her husband   17 Of the relation betwixt Christ and the Church 32 18 Of the benefit of Christs headship 34 19 Of Christ a sufficient Sauiour 35 20 Of Christ the only Sauiour 36 21 Of the Church the body of Christ 38 22 Of the extent of Christs goodnesse to all his body 38 23 Of the restraint of the benefit of Christs headship to them only that are of his body 40 24 Of the Churches subiection to Christ 41 25 Of the extent of the Churches subiection 42 26 Of the summe of husbands duties 43 27 Of the example of Christs loue 44 28 Of Christs giuing himselfe 46 29 Of the willingnesse of Christ to die 47 30 Of the kinde of Christs death and oblation 48 31 Of the infinite value of the price of our redemption 48 32 Of Christs seeking the good of the Church 50 33 Of the particular ends why Christ gaue himselfe and of the condition of the Church before Christ tooke her 51 34 Of Christs preuenting grace 54 35 Of Christs seeking to make his Church pure 55 36 Of
203 20 Of clandestine mariages 205 21 Of a ciuill celebrating of mariage 206 22 Of ill or well ordering mariage feasts 206 23 Of the honour of mariage in regard of the first institution thereof 208 24 Of the ends of mariage 209 25 Of the priuiledges of mariage 210 26 Of the mysterie of mariage 211 27 Of mariage and single life compared together 211 28 Of celebrating mariage with sorrow 212 II. TREATISE PART II. Of common mutuall duties betwixt man and wife § 1. OF the heads of those common mutuall duties 213 2 Of matrimoniall vnitie 214 3 Of desertion 215 4 Of matrimoniall chastitie 216 5 Of adultery 218 6 Of pardoning adultery vpon repentance 218 7 Of the difference of adulterie in a man and in a wife 219 8 Of the hainousnesse of adulterie 219 9 Of remedies against adulterie and in particular of due beneuolence and of defect or excesse therein 221 10 Of mutuall loue betwixt man and wife 224 11 Of husbands and wiues mutuall hatred contrary to loue 227 12 Of mutuall peace betwixt man and wife 228 13 Of contentions betwixt man and wife 230 14 Of husbands and wiues dwelling together 230 15 Of the respects for which man and wife may for a time liue asunder 231 16 Of the error of Papists about man and wiues separation 232 17 Of husbands and wiues vnlawfull absenting themselues one from another 234 18 Of husbands and wiues mutuall prayers 235 19 Of the things for which husbands and wiues are to pray alone 236 20 Of husbands and wiues hatefull imprecations and wishes one against another 237 21 Of husbands and wiues neglect of mutuall prayer 238 22 Of husbands and wiues mutuall care for one anothers saluation 238 23 Of husbands and wiues care to winne one the other when one of them is not called 239 24 Of husbands and wiues edifying one another 240 25 Of husbands and wiues hindering sinne one in another 240 26 Of husbands and wiues redressing sinne in one another 242 27 Of husbands and wiues helping forward the growth of grace in each other 242 28 Of the sinnes of husbands and wiues contrary to a mutuall care of one anothers saluation 243 29 Of husbands and wiues mutuall care ouer one anothers body 245 30 Of husbands and wiues backwardnesse to helpe one another in time of neede 246 31 Of husbands and wiues mutuall respects of one anothers good name 247 32 Of husbands and wiues preuenting each others discredit 248 33 Of the wisdome of husbands and wiues in redressing one anothers ill name 249 34 Of husbands and wiues care in procuring one anothers good name 249 35 Of husbands and wiues wisdome in preseruing each others good name 250 36 Of husbands and wiues like affection towards one anothers credit 250 37 Of the vices contrary to that mutuall care which man and wife should haue of one anothers credit 251 38 Of husbands and wiues mutuall prouidence about the goods of the family 253 39 Of the vices contrary to the good prouidence of husbands and wiues about the goods of the family 255 40 Of husbands and wiues ioynt care in gouerning the family 256 41 Of the vices contrary to a ioynt care of gouerning the family 260 42 Of husbands and wiues mutuall helpe in hospitality 261 43 Of vices contrary to mutuall helpe in hospitality 263 44 Of husbands and wiues mutuall helpe in releeuing the poore 264 45 Of husbands and wiues vnmercifulnesse to the poore 265 III. TREATISE Of wiues particular Duties § 1. OF the generall heads of this treatise 267 2 Of a wiues subiection in generall 268 3 Of an husbands superiority ouer a wife to be acknowledged by a wife 269 4 Of a fond conceit that husband and wife are equall 271 5 Of a wiues acknowledgment of her owne husbands superiority 272 6 Of wiues denying honour to their owne husbands 273 7 Of a wiues inward fâ—are of her husband 274 8 Of a wiues base esteeme of her husband 275 9 Of wiue-like sobriety 277 10 Of wiue-like mildnesse 278 11 Of wiue-like courtefie and obeysance 279 12 Of wiue-like modesty in apparell 280 13 Of a wiues reuerend speech to her husband 281 14 Of the titles which wiues giue their husbands 282 15 Of wiues meekenesse in their speeches 284 16 Of a wiues speech of her husband in his absence 285 17 of a wiues obedience in generall 286 18 Of the cases wherein a wife hath power to order things of the house without her husbands consent 287 19 Of diuers kinds of consent 288 20 Of the things whereabout a wife must haue her husbands consent 290 21 Of the things which a wife may dispose without her husbands consent 291 22 Of a wiues liberty in extraordinary matters 292 23 Of a wiues restraint in disposing goods without consent of her husband and of the ground of that restraint 293 24 Of the example of the Shunemite in asking her husbands consent 294 25 Of the law of a wiues vow 294 26 Of humane lawes which restraine wiues from disposing goods without or against their husbands consent 296 27 Of the inconueniences which may follow vpon a wiues disposing goods without or against her husbands consent 297 28 Of propertie in goods whether it giue liberty to dispose them as a wife will 298 29 Of the reasons against a wiues property in the common goods of the family 299 30 Of answers to the reasons for a wiues property 301 31 Of the priuiledges of wiues aboue children and seruants in and about the goods of the family 302 32 Of examples and other reasons alleadged for liberty of wiues to dispose goods 302 33 Of the subiection of wiues in distributing goods to charitable vses 304 34 Of generall exhortations to workes of mercy how farre they binde wiues 305 35 Of obedience to an husband in such things as he sinfully forbiddeth 305 36 Of Zipporahs case in circumcising her son 306 37 Of the wife of Chuzas case in ministring to Christ 307 38 Of the restraint of wiues about allowance for themselues or families without their husbands consent 308 39 Of a wiues subiection to her husband about children 309 40 Of a wiues subiection to her husband about ordering seruants and beasts 310 41 Of a wiues subiection in entertaining strangers iournying abroad and making vowes 311 42 Of aberrations contrary to wiues subiection in doing things without or against their husbands consent 312 43 Of a wiues actiue obedience 315 44 Of a wiues willingnesse to dwell where her husband will 315 45 Of a wiues readinesse to come to her husband when he requires it 317 46 Of a wiues readinesse to doe what her husband requireth 319 47 Of a wiues meeke taking a reproofe 319 48 Of a wiues readinesse to redresse what her husband iustly reproueth in her 322 49 Of a wiues contentment with her husbands present estate 323 50 Of a wiues discontent at her husbands estate 324 51 Of cases wherein a wife ought not to forbeare what her
husband forbiddeth 325 52 Of cases wherein a wife ought to forbeare what her husband requireth 328 53 Of wiues faults in shewing more respect to their husbands then to God 329 54 Of the manner of a wiues subiection to her husband 329 55 Of wiues humility in euery duty 331 56 Of wiues pride 331 57 Of wiues sincerity in euery duty 332 58 Of wiues complement all subiection 334 59 Of wiues cheerefulnesse in euery duty 334 60 Of wiues sullen and forced obedience 334 61 Of wiues constancy in doing their duty 335 62 Of wiues repenting their former goodnesse 335 63 Of the extent of a wiues obedience 336 64 Of a wiues labouring to bring her iudgement to the bent of her husbands 337 65 Of wiues ouerweining conceit of their owne wisdome 338 66 Of a wiues yeelding to her husband in such things as she thinketh not to be the meetest 338 67 Of wiues making their owne will their law 339 68 Of care in choosing such husbands as wiues may without griese be subiect vnto 340 69 Of the reasons to moue wiues to doe their duties 341 70 Of an husbands place 342 71 Of an husbands office 343 72 Of the resemblance betwixt Christ and an husband 344 73 Of the benefit which a wife hath by an husband 346 74 Of the example of the Church set before wiues 347 IV. TREATISE Of Husbands particular duties § 1 OF the generall heads of this treatise 349 2 Of that loue which husbands owe their wiues 350 3 Of an husbands hatred and want of loue 352 4 Of an husbands wise maintaining his authority 353 5 Of husbands losing their authority 355 6 Of husbands high account of wiues 356 7 Of that fellowship which is betwixt man and wife notwithstanding a wiues inferiority 357 8 Of husbands too meane account of wiues 358 9 Of husbands good esteeme of their owne wiues 358 10 Of husbands preposterous opinion of their owne wiues 359 11 Of husbands intire affection to their wiues 360 12 Of the stoicall disposition of husbands to their wiues 362 13 Of an husbands kinde acceptance of such things as his wife doth 362 14 Of husbands fleighting and reiecting their wiues goodnesse 363 15 Of husbands courteous accepting their wiues reuerend cariage 364 16 Of husbands ready yeelding to their wiues humble suits 365 17 Of husbands harshnesse to their wiues 365 18 Of husbands forbearing to exact all that they may 366 19 Of husbands too much strictnesse towards their wiues 368 20 Of husbands encouraging their wiues in good things 369 21 Of husbands vngratefull discouraging their wiues 370 22 Of an husbands mildnesse 370 23 Of husbands bitternesse 371 24 Of the titles which an husband giueth to his wife 371 25 Of an husbands manner of instructing his wife 372 26 Of an husbands manner of commanding his wife any thing 373 27 Of an husbands wise cariage when his wife is erroneously scrupulous 375 28 Of an husbands forbearing to presse things vnbeseeming a wiues place 376 29 Of an husbands pressing his authority in weighty matters 376 30 Of husbands too great pride in commanding 377 31 Of husbands rare and milde vsing their commanding power 378 32 Of husbands insolency and peremptorinesse 378 33 Of an husbands reprouing his wife 379 34 Of neglecting reproofe 379 35 Of well ordering reproofe in the matter thereof 379 36 Of vndue reproofe 381 37 Whether an husband may reproue his wife for such things as he is guilty of 382 38 Of well ordering reproofe in the manner thereof 382 39 Of vndiscreet reproouing a wife 385 40 Of an husbands amiable countenance towards his wife 386 41 Of husbands too great austerity 387 42 Of an husbands familiar gesture with his wife 388 43 Of an husbands giuing fauours to his wife 389 44 Of husbands beating their wiues 389 45 Of an husbands bearing with his wiues infirmities 393 46 Of an husbands prouident care for his wife 396 47 Of an husbands prouiding meanes of spirituall edification for his wife 397 48 Of neglecting their wiues edification 398 49 Of an husbands prouiding things needfull for his wiues body 399 50 Of an husbands prouident care for his wife about her childe-bearing 399 51 Of neglecting wiues in their weaknesse 401 52 Of an husbands prouiding for his wife according to his estate and ability 402 53 Of an husbands niggardlinesse to his wife 402 54 Of husbands allowing their wiues to bestow on others as they see good occasion 403 55 Of husbands too great straitnesse ouer their wiues 405 56 Of an husbands care to prouide for his wife so long as she shall liue 406 57 Of husbands neglect of their wiues future estate 407 58 Of an husbands protecting his wife from danger 408 59 Of an husbands maintaining his wife against children of a former venter and seruants 409 60 Of neglecting to maintaine their wiues 410 61 Of an husbands first beginning to loue his wife 412 62 Of an husbands repaying vnkindnes for loue 413 63 Of the truth of husbands loue 414 64 Of husbands dissimulation 414 65 Of the freenesse of husbands loue 415 66 Of husbands louing for aduantage 415 67 Of the purity of husbands loue 415 68 Of husbands lightnesse 416 69 Of husbands louing their wiues more then themselues 417 70 Of husbands vnkindnesse 417 71 Of combats in pretence of wiues honour 417 72 Of husbands constancy in loue 418 73 Of husbands variablenesse 419 74 Of husbands louing their wiues as themselues 419 75 Of Christs example a motiue to prouoke husbands to loue their wiues 422 76 Of a mans loue to himselfe a motiue to prouoke him to loue his wife 426 V. TREATISE Of childrens duties § 1 OF the generall heads of childrens duties 427 2 Of childrens loue to their parents 428 3 Of a childes feare of his parents 430 4 Of a childes reuerence in refraining speech before his parent and in hearkning to his parent 431 5 Of a childes reuerend framing his speech to his parent 433 6 Of the vices in children contrary to the forenamed reuerence in speech 434 7 Of childrens reuerend speeches of their parents 435 8 Of a childes reuerend cariage to his parent 436 9 Of childrens asking their parents blessing whether it be lawfull or no. 437 10 Of the vices contrary to childrens reuerend gesture towards their parents 439 11 Of childrens obedience 441 12 Of childrens forbearing to doe things without consent of parents 442 13 Of consent of parents for childrens entring into a calling 443 14 Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens entring into religious orders without consent of parents 443 15 Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens trauelling and binding themselues prentises without consent of parents 446 16 Of parents consent to the mariage of their children 446 17 Of the equity of the point and reasons why children should haue their parents consent vnto their mariage 449 18 Of a childes carriage in case a parent prouide an vnfit mate or none at all 449 19 Of the sinne of children
patterne to teach them how to loue A motiue it is to loue Christ because loue deserueth loue especially such a loue of such a person as the loue of Christ is Yea our loue of Christ is an euidence that we are loued of Christ as smoake is a signe of fire Wherefore both in thankfulnesse to Christ for his loue to vs and for assurance to our owne soules of Christs loue to vs we ought in all things that we can to testifie our loue to Christ A motiue it is also to loue our brethren because Christ being in heauen our goodnesse extendeth not to him but our brethren on earth stand in his stead and the loue we shew to them we shew to him and he accepteth it as done to him Ye fed me yee visited me saith Christ to them that fed and visited his brethren This loue also euen the loue of our brethren is an euidence that we are loued of God Wherefore if Christ so loued vs we ought also to loue one another How the loue of Christ is a patterne I will afterwards shew §. 28. Of Christs giuing himselfe EPHES. 5. 25. And gaue himselfe for it THis fruit and effect of Christs loue extendeth it selfe to all the things that Christ did or suffered for our redemption as that he descended from heauen tooke vpon him our nature and became a man that he subiected himselfe to the law and perfectly fulfilled it that he made himselfe subiect to many temptations of the deuill and his instruments that he tooke vpon him our infirmities that he became a King to gouerne vs a Prophet to instruct vs a Priest to make an attonement for vs that he subiected himselfe to death the cursed death of the crosse and so made himselfe an oblation sacrifice for our sins that he was buried that he rose againe that he ascended into heauen and there sitteth at Gods right hand to make intercession for vs. For after that Christ had taken vpon him to be our head and Sauiour he wholly set himselfe apart for our vse and our benefit so as his person his offices his actions his sufferings his humiliation his exaltation the dignitie the puritie the efficacie of all is the Churches and to her good doe they all tend This in generall is the extent of this fruit of Christs loue he gaue himselfe for it More particularly we may note these three points 1. The action what he did he gaue 2. The obiect what he gaue himselfe 3. The end why he gaue himselfe for it for the Churches good The action hauing relation to the obiect most especially pointeth at the death of Christ The Greeke word is a compound word and signifieth to giue vp It implieth two things 1. That Christ willingly died the simple word gaue intimateth so much 2. That his death was an oblation that is a price of redemption or a satisfaction the compound word gaue vp intimateth so much §. 29. Of the willingnesse of Christ to die That Christ willingly died is euident by the circumstances noted about his death when Peter counselled him to spare himselfe and not to goe to Ierusalem where he was to be put to death he called him Satan and said he was an offence to him when Iudas went out to betray him he said vnto him That thou doest doe quickly When Iudas was gone out to get companie to apprehend him he went to the place where he was wont so as Iudas might readily finde him yea he met them in the mid-way that came to take him and he asked them whom they sought though he knew whom they sought and when they said Iesus of Nazaret he answered I am he When they came to him he droue them all backward with a word of his mouth and yet would not escape from them He could haue praied to the Father to haue had more then twelue legions of Angels for his safeguard against those that apprehended him but would not when by his aduersaries he was prouoked to haue come downe from the Crosse and could haue done so he would not At the instant of giuing vp the ghost he cried with a loud voice which sheweth that his life was not then spent he might haue retained it longer if he would and thereupon the Centurion gathered that he was the Sonne of God When he was actually dead and laid in a graue he rose againe These other like circumstances verifie that which Christ said of himselfe No man taketh my life from me but I lay it downe of my selfe It was therefore no necessitie that compelled him to die but his voluntarie obedience Christ is the Lord Prince and Author of life and hath an absolute power as ouer the life of others so ouer his owne life Thus then we see that his sacrifice was a voluntarie and free gift the cause thereof was his owne will and good pleasure Exceedingly doth this commend the loue of Christ and assureth vs that it is the more acceptable to God who loueth a cheerefull giuer Let vs in imitation of our head doe the things whereunto we are called willingly and cheerefully though they seeme neuer so disgracefull to the world or grieuous to our weake flesh §. 30. Of the kinde of Christs death an oblation That Christs death was an oblation and a price of redemption is euident by the death of those beasts which were offered vp for a sacrifice and therein were a type of Christs death But expresly is this noted by this Apostle where he saith Christ hath giuen himselfe for vs an offering and sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling sauour and againe Christ gaue himselfe a ransome The phrases of redeeming purchaesing buying with the like attributed to Christ and his bloud doe further confirme the same Learne hereby to consider Christs death not as the death of a priuate man but of a publike person of a suertie of a pledge that in our roome and stead was made sinne and was made a curse to redeeme vs from our sinnes and from the curse which by sinne was fallen vpon vs. The comfort and benefit of Christs death is lost if this be not knowne and beleeued In this consisteth a maine difference betwixt the death of Christ and all other men not the most righteous Martyrs excepted Their death was but a dutie and debt no satisfactory oblation no price no ransome as Christs was §. 31. Of the infinite valew of the prince of our redemption The Obiect or thing which Christ gaue for a ransome was himselfe not his body alone nor his body and soule only but his person consisting of his two natures humane and diuine Quest How could his diuine nature be giuen vp could it suffer could it die Answ 1. The Deitie simply considered in and by it selfe could not die but that person which was God both could and did die
exempt them Seeing then that the Church stood in need to be cleansed and sanctified surely The Church in herselfe was as the world polluted Very liuely is this set forth by the Prophet Ezekiel vnder the similitude of a wretched infant borne of a cursed parentage whose nauell was not cut who was not washed salted nor swadled but cast out in the open field polluted with bloud Oft doth the Apostle setting forth the wretched estate of the world note of the true members of the Church that we our selues also were such The Church consisteth of none other then of such as came out of Adams loines Now as all the brood which commeth from vipers adders toads spiders and other like venomous dams are infected with poison so all the sonnes of Adam are polluted with sinne That which is borne of the flesh as is euery mothers childe not the members of the Church excepted for they haue fathers and mothers of their flesh is flesh that is polluted and corrupt Therefore when we are taken into the Church we are borne againe This our former estate by nature is oft and seriously to be thought of and that in respect of Christ Our selues  Others  1. In regard of Christ the more to magnifie his loue Our former estate before he cast the wings of his mercy vpon vs sheweth our vnworthinesse our vilenesse and wretchednesse and in that respect it openeth our heart and mouth to thinke and say O Lord our Lord what is man that thou art mindfull of him and the sonne of man that thou visitest him Lord how is it that thou wilt manifest thy selfe vnto vs and not vnto the world The right knowledge of our former estate and a due consideration thereof maketh vs ascribe all the glory of our present dignity and happinesse to Christ that altered our estate as Saint Paul I thanke Christ Iesus our Lord who hath enabled mee who was before a blasphemer c. yea it maketh vs the more to prize and esteeme the present estate as Dauid 2. In regard of our selues this is to be thought of to humble vs and to keepe vs from insolent boasting in those priuiledges whereof through Christ we are made partakers To this purpose doth the Apostle thus presse this point Who maketh thee to differ from another and what hast thou that thou diddest not receiue Now if thou diddest receiue it why doest thou glory as if thou hadst not receiued it When a man is exalted from a meane to a great place and thereupon waxeth proud and insolent we say he hath forgotten from whence he came So as remembrance of our former condition is a meanes to preserue humility and to suppresse insolencie 3. In regard of others it is to be thought of to moue vs the more to commiserate their wofull estate who yet remaine as we once were to conceiue hope that their estate may be altered as well as ours was to pray and vse what meanes we can that it may be altered To prouoke Christians to shew all meekenesse to them which were without the Apostle renders this reason for we our selues also in times past were foolish c.. read how forcibly this is vrged Rom. 11. 18 19 c. §. 34. Of Christs preuenting Grace In setting downe the alteration of the forenamed condition note 1. The manner of laying it forth 2. The matter or substance thereof The manner is implied in this coniunction THAT That he might sanctifie it Christ loued the Church and gaue himselfe for it not because it was sanctified but that he might sanctifie it so as The Grace which Christ sheweth to the Church is a preuenting Grace Sanctification is no cause but an effect of Christs loue and followeth in order after his loue His loue arose only and wholly from himselfe in the parties loued there was nothing but matter of hatred before they were loued Moses thus saith of the loue of God to Israel The Lord did not set his loue vpon you because yee were more in number but because the Lord loued you This at first sight may seeme to be as we say a womans reason that the Lord should set his loue on them because he loued them but it being duly obserued we shall finde excellently set forth the ground of Gods loue to rest altogether in himselfe and in his owne good pleasure Yea this being noted as the end of Christs loue that he might sanctifie it it further sheweth that it was not any foresight of holinesse in the Church that moued him to loue it first he loued it and then sought how to make it amiable and worthy to be loued Herein differeth Christs loue from the loue of all men towards their spouses for they must see something in them to moue them to loue When Ahash-verosh was to choose a wife the maidens out of whom he was to take one were first purified and then he tooke her in whom he most delighted But Christ first loueth his spouse and then sanctifieth it Before he loued it he saw nothing in it why he should preferre it before the world Seeing of him and through him and to him is all the beauty and dignitie of the Church the glorie be to him for euer Amen §. 35. Of Christs seeking to make his Church pure The Matter or substance of that subordinate end which Christ aimed at in giuing himselfe for the Church is in these words that he might sanctifie it hauing cleansed it which in generall shew that Christ seeketh the purity of his Church For this end hath he shed his owne most pure and pretious bloud for his bloud cleanseth vs from all sinne and conueyed his holy Spirit into his body the Church which is called the Spirit of Sanctification because it reneweth and sanctifieth those in whom it is This Christ aimeth at that he might make his spouse like to himselfe pure as he is pure That end which Christ aimed at we that professe our selues to be of this Church must endeuour after for euery man that hath this hope in him purgeth himselfe as he is pure Let vs therefore vse all good meanes to cleanse our selues from all filthinesse of flesh and spirit This being the end which Christ aimeth at for the good of his Church to cleanse it they who finde themselues cleansed haue a good euidence that they are of this Church they who are not cleansed can haue no assurance thereof How vnworthy are they of this benefit that liue as the world and like swine vpon euery occasion wallow in the mire being drawne by euery temptation into sinne Doe they not as much as in them lieth make the death of Christ to be in vaine and peruert that maine end which Christ aimed at in giuing himselfe But what may be thought of such as Ismael-like mocke and scoffe at those that
Sanctification of the Saints shall be perfect in heauen They shall not only be iustified by hauing their sinnes couered to them nor only haue their sanctification truly begun in them but also in euerie part point and degree thereof absolutely perfected in which respect they are said to be iust men made perfect Adam in his innocencie was not more pure then the Saints shall be in heauen yea they shall farre surpasse Adam as in the measure so in the stabilite and perpetuitie thereof In our endeuour after holinesse let vs haue an eye to this perfection and not faint if we attaine not to that measure which we desire Perfection is reserued for the world to come Yet know we that the more holy and blamelesse we are the neerer we come to that heauenly estate the more spots and blemishes of sinne we haue the more vnlike we are vnto it and the lesse hope we haue of enioying that heauenly happinesse All the forenamed seuerall points of the glorious estate of the Church in heauen should rauish our spirits and euen breake our hearts with an holy admiration of Christs good-nesse and fill our mouths with praises for the same and make vs sigh and long after the same and with all good conscience and diligence vse all the meanes we can to attaine thereunto no labour will be lost herein Surely this is either not knowne or not beleeued or not remembred or not duly and seriously considered by such as make light account thereof Let that which hath beene but briefly touched be further meditated vpon and let vs pray that the eyes of our vnderstanding may be enlightned that we may know what is the riches of the glorious inheritance of the Saints Were it not for this hope the Saints were of all the most miserable whereas now they are the most happy §. 53. Of the application of the things which Christ hath done for the Church vnto husbands EPHES. 5. 28. So ought men to loue their wiues c. THE first clause of this verse serueth both for an application of the former argument and also for a transition to another argument The particle of relation So sheweth that that which hath before beene deliuered of Christs loue to his Church ought to be referred and applied to husbands For as Christ loued his Church So ought husbands to loue their wiues Quest Why are these transcendent euidences of Christs surpassing loue to his Church set before husbands can any such things be expected from husbands to their wiues Answ No not for measure but for likenesse For in this large declaration of Christs loue there are two generall points to be noted 1. That the Church in her selfe was no way worthie of loue 2. That Christ so carried himselfe towards her that he made her worthie of much loue This ought to be the minde of husbands to their wiues 1. Though they be no way worthie of loue yet they must loue them 2. They must endeuour with all the wit and wisdome they haue to make them worthie of loue I say endeuour because it is not simply in the husbands power to doe the deed Yet his faithfull endeuour shall on his part be accepted for the deed Of these points I shall hereafter more fully speake §. 54. Of the application of the loue which a man beareth to himselfe vnto an husband EPHES. 5. 28. So ought men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies THe forenamed particle So hath also relation to another patterne namely of a mans selfe to his bodie and so it is a transition from one argument to another There is some more Emphasis here vsed in setting downe an husbands dutie then was before vers 25. There it was laid downe by way of exhortation Husbands loue your wiues Here it is laid downe with a straiter charge Husbands ought to loue their wiues So as this dutie is not a matter arbitrarie left to the husbands will to doe it or leaue it vndone there is a necessitie laid vpon him he must loue his wife Woe therefore vnto him if he doe it not In setting downe this argument taken from a mans selfe the Apostle resembleth a mans wife vnto his bodie wherein he hath relation to vers 23. where he said the husband is the head of the wife Whereby he sheweth that as an husbands place is a motiue to his wife for her to performe her dutie so to himselfe for him to performe his dutie He is her head therefore she must be subiect to him She is his bodie therefore he must loue her This example of a mans selfe is both a reason the more to moue husbands to loue their wiues and also a rule to teach them how to loue them The reason is implied vnder that neere vnion that is betwixt a man and his wife she is as neere to him as his owne bodie therefore she ought to be as deere to him The bodie neuer dissenteth from it selfe nor the soule against it selfe So neither should man and wife The rule is noted vnder the manner of a mans louing his owne bodie as intirely as he loueth his bodie so intirely he ought to loue his wife Of the manner of a mans louing himselfe see Treat 4. § 74. 76. The more to enforce this comparison the Apostle addeth He that loueth his wife loueth himselfe By this clause two things are implied 1. That a wife is not only as a mans bodie namely his outward flesh but as his person his bodie and soule She is as his bodie because she was taken out of his bodie and because she is set vnder him as his bodie vnder his head She is as himselfe by reason of the bond of mariage which maketh one of two In which respect a wife is commonly called a mans second selfe 2. That an husband in louing his wife loueth himselfe so as the benefit of louing his wife will redound to himselfe as well as to his wife §. 55. Of the amplification of a mans loue of himselfe EPHES. 5. 29. For no man euer yet hated his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it euen as the Lord the Church THe former patterne of a mans selfe is here further amplified For first the Apostle proueth that a man loueth himselfe and then he sheweth how he loueth himselfe Two arguments are vsed to proue the point One is taken from the contrarie No man euer yet hated his owne flesh Therefore he loueth it The other is taken from the effects of loue To nourish and cherish ones flesh is a fruit of loue But euerie man nourisheth and cherisheth his flesh Therefore he loueth it This latter argument sheweth the manner of a mans louing himselfe and therein a mans loue of himselfe is a rule to teach him how to loue his wife This indefinite particle no man is to be restrained to such as haue the vnderstanding and affection of a man in them as if he had said no
man in his right wits for furious franticke mad desperate persons will cut their armes legs and other parts mangle their flesh hang drowne smother choake and stab themselues Euen so they are as men out of their wits who hate or any way hurt their wiues yea it is the part of a mad man to doubt of louing and doing good to himselfe These two words to nourish and cherish comprize vnder them a carefull prouiding of all things needfull for a mans bodie To nourish is properly to feed To cherish is to keepe warme The former is done by food the latter by apparell Vnder food and apparell the Apostle comprizeth all things needfull for this life where he saith Hauing food andraiment let vs therewith be content This applied to an husband sheweth that he ought to haue a prouident care for the good of his wife in all things needfull for her That he may yet further presse this point he returneth againe to the example of Christ euen as the Lord the Church The Apostle thought that this naile of loue had need be fast beaten into the heads and hearts of husbands and therefore addeth blow to blow to knocke it vp deepe euen to the head before he confirmed Christs example with the example of our selues here he confirmeth the example of our selues with the example of Christ againe This he doth for two especiall reasons 1. The more forcibly to vrge the point for two examples adde weight one to another especially this latter which is so farre more excellent as we heard out of vers 25 26 27. 2. To giue husbands a better direction for their prouidence towards their wiues whom they must nourish and cherish not only as their bodies but as Christ nourisheth and cherisheth his Church not only with things temporall but also with things spirituall and eternall §. 56. Of mans naturall affection to himselfe EPHES. 5. 28 29. So ought men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies he that loueth his wife loueth himselfe For no man euer yet hated his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it euen as the Lord the Church HAuing briefly shewed the generall scope of the 28 and 29 verses I will proceed to a more distinct handling of them They setforth The naturall affection of a man to himselfe Two points are here to be noted 1. The generall proposition that a man is well affected to himselfe 2. The particular amplification and manifestation of that affection This is manifested two waies 1. Negatiuely No man hateth his owne flesh   2. Affirmatiuely and that in two branches 1. Nourisheth it 2. Cherisheth   Both these are iustified by the like affection of Christ to the Church which is his body Euen as the Lord the Church In that the Apostle propoundeth the naturall affection of a mans selfe to his body as a motiue and patterne to Christians to loue their wiues and also iustifieth the same by a like affection of Christ to his Church I obserue that Naturall affection is a thing lawfull and commendable it is an affection which may stand with a good conscience which Gods word is so farre from taking away as it doth establish it For such as are without naturall affection are directly condemned and we are commanded to be so kindly affectioned one to another as we are to our selues Yea the law in the strict rigour thereof laieth downe that naturall affection which is in a man to himselfe as a rule for the loue of his neighbour thou shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe Hence is it that the Prophets Apostles and Christ himselfe doe oft call vpon vs to haue an eie to that affection which we beare to our selues Of this patterne Christ saith This is the Law and the Prophets this is the briefe summe of them this is it which they doe much vrge and presse 1. Naturall affection was at first created of God by him planted in man so that as soule body the powers and parts of them are in their substance good things this affection also in it selfe is good 2. There are the same reasons to loue our selues as our brethren For we our selues are made after Gods image redeemed by Christs bloud members of the same mysticall bodie keepers of our selues to giue an account of the good or hurt we doe to our selues with the like In the Law vnder this word neighbour our selues are comprised and euery commandement of the second table is to be applied to our selues §. 57. Of naturall selfe-loue Obiect Louers of themselues are condemned in Gods word as 2 Tim. 3. 2. Phil. 2. 21. 1 Cor. 10. 24. Rom. 15. 1. Answ There is a double louing of a mans selfe self- One good and commendable The other euill and damnable Good and commendable louing of a mans selfe is 1. Naturall 2. Spirituall  That which is naturall is in all by the very instinct of nature and it was at first created and still is by Gods prouidence preserued in our nature and that for the preseruation of nature Were there not such a naturall loue of himselfe in euery one man would be as carelesse of himselfe as of others and as loth to take paines for himselfe as for others Wherefore that euery one might haue care at least of one euen of himselfe and so the world be better preserued God hath reserued in man this naturall affection notwithstanding his corruption by sin Yea further because euery one is not able to looke to himselfe at least when he is young sicke old or any other way impotent God by his wise prouidence hath extended this naturall affection towards otheralso as they are neerely linked vnto vs by the bonds of nature The next to a mans selfe are by bloud and bond of nature children Admirably much is that which parents doe for their children which they would neuer doe if there were not a naturall affection in them to their children From children againe this affection ariseth towards their parents that when parents grow old impotent or any way vnable to helpe themselues they might haue succour from their children And because parents and children are not alwaies together or not able to helpe one another or vnnaturall God hath yet further extended this naturall affection to brethren cousins and other kindred And for a further extent thereof hath instituted mariage betwixt such as are not of the same bloud and by vertue of that bond raised a naturall affection not only in husband and wife one to another but also in all the alliance that is made therby Moreouer this affection is wrought in neighbours friends fellowes and other by like bonds knit together that the bow of Gods prouidence might haue many strings and if one breake another might hold In all these kinds the neerer a man commeth to himselfe the more doth this affection shew it selfe according to the prouerbe Neare is my
appeare by a particular consideration of the three forenamed properties of this matrimoniall bond the preheminencie firmnesse and neerenesse thereof §. 86. Of Christs leauing his Father and mother for his spouse I. The preheminencie of the matrimoniall bond betwixt Christ and the Church herein appeareth that Christ left his Father and his mother for his spouse the Church As Christ is God God is his Father as man the Virgin Marie was his mother Now the leauing of his Father must be taken only by way of resemblance in that he came from the place of his Fathers habitation to the place where his Spouse was The Scripture saith that he was in the bosome of his Father by him as one brought vp with him his daily delight reioycing alway before him yet descended he into the lowest parts of the earth where his spouse was He came out from the Father and came into the world But truly and properly did he preferre his Spouse before his mother For when he was instructing his Spouse and his mother came to interrupt him he said to his mother who is my mother and to his Spouse behold my mother Of the same minde must the Church and all that are of the Church be vnto Christ she must forget her owne people and fathers house Seeing Christ hath gone before vs and giuen vs so good an example what an high point of ingratitude would it be for vs to preferre father mother or any other before Christ our husband Note what he saith in this case He that loueth father or mother more then me is not worthie of me And againe If any come vnto me and hate not his father and mother he cannot be mine To hate here is to be so farre from preferring father mother before Christ as rather then not to loue Christ to hate father and mother Or so intirely to loue Christ aboue all as our loue of parents in comparison thereof to be an hatted Thus Leui said vnto his father and mother I haue not seene him for they obserued the word and kept the couenant of Christ This then is our dutie that we suffer not any naturall affection and dotage on our parents to swallow vp that loue we owe to Christ as Pharaohs ill-fauourèd and leane-fleshed kine eat vp the seuen well-fauoured and fat kine How much lesse should any loue of this world of the profits promotions or pleasures of this world draw away our hearts from Christ should we not rather say and doe as the Apostles did Behold we haue for saken all and followed Christ §. 87. Of the indissoluble vnion betwixt Christ and the Church II. The firmnesse of that bond whereby Christ and the Church are said to be glued together is greater and more inuiolable then that whereby man and wife are ioyned together Death parteth man and wife but death cannot make a diremption betwixt Christ and the Church so as we may well from this metaphor inferre that Christ and the Church are inseparably knit together I will betroth thee vnto me for euer saith Christ vnto the Church The couenant which Christ maketh with his Church is an euerlasting couenant The mountaines shall depart and the hils be remoued before his kindnesse shall depart from the Church The stedfastnesse and vnchangeablenesse of his will is the only cause thereof Whom he loueth he loueth vnto the end His gifts and calling are without repentance He is not like the hard hearted Iewes who vpon euerie sleight occasion would put away their wiues The Lord hateth putting away Though therefore the Church through her weaknesse doe depart from him and play the harlot yet returne againe to me saith the Lord. Learne we by this patterne to cleaue close vnto the Lord which is a dutie most due to Christ who cleaueth so close to vs and therefore oft expressed in the Scripture Three vertues there are which are of speciall vse to this purpose Faith Hope Loue. Faith is the hand whereby we lay fast hold on Christ and as it were knit him to our selues as he by his Spirit knitteth vs to himselfe This maketh vs rest and repose our selues on him for all needfull things and not to leaue him for any thing Hope is the anchor which holdeth vs fast against all the stormes of Satan so as they can neuer driue vs out of our harbour which is the Lord Iesus Christ Loue is the glue and soader which maketh vs one with Christ for it is the propertie of loue to vnite those that loue one another in one Ionathans soule was knit with the soule of Dauid For why Ionathan loued him as his owne soule He that loueth is well pleased with him whom he loueth and seeketh also to please him that they may mutually delight one in another Were these three vertues well rooted in vs we would say who shall separate vs from the loue of Christ shall tribulation or distresse c. §. 88. Of the equall priuiledge of all the Saints III. Concerning the phrase whereby the neerenesse of man and wife is set forth they two shall be one flesh it may be demanded how this can be applied to Christ and the Saints who are more then two Answ Christ by one Spirit knitteth vs all into one bodie and so maketh all ioyntly considered together one Spouse The multitude of Saints doth no more imply many wiues then the multitude of members which the naturall bodie of a wife hath This point then teacheth vs that In the mysticall mariage betwixt Christ and the Church all and euerie of the Saints haue an equall priuiledge Some are not Concubines some wiues nor some more loued or preferred to another but all one wife All are one in Christ Iesus Neither the Father that gaue them all nor the Sonne who tooke them all saw any thing in one more then in another their meere grace moued them to doe what they did Well may euerie one apply all the forenamed priuiledges vnto themselues and not one emulate another This affordeth instruction to the more eminent in the Church that like proud dames they insult not ouer others as if they were their hand-maids and consolation to the meaner sort that they may vphold themselues and possesse their soules with patience and not enuie or grieue at the outward prosperitie and priuiledges of others In the greatest priuiledge they are equall to the greatest This of the parties coupled to Christ For these words they two shew that all the Saints are but one Christ is the other of the two The next words are one flesh shew how neere those Saints are to Christ §. 89. Of the neere vnion betwixt Christ and the Church The maine point here to be noted is that Christ and the Church are most neerely linked together What can be neerer then that two should come into one flesh This is
whereof they haue taken from this text which ground by the Apostles application of this mysterie to Christ and the Church is as plainly remoued as if the Apostle had purposely ordered his stile to preuent this erroneous collection as if he had said That none may mistake this mysterie and apply it to a matrimoniall coniunction of man and woman together know that I meane no such thing the mysterie which I speake of is concerning Christ and the Church I maruell how they dare misapply that which is so plainly expressed Though the Apostle had not so clearely shewed his minde and meaning yet the verie thing it selfe would lead vs so to iudge of it For that which in Christ and the Church is a great mysterie in man and wife is but a small matter The vulgar Latine translation first led them into this error for it translateth the word mysterie a Sacrament But a translation is no sufficient ground to proue a doctrine Besides the word Sacrament vsed by that Translator hath as large an extent as a mysterie if they should make euerie thing which he translateth Sacrament a proper Sacrament of the Church there would be many more Sacraments then the Papists themselues doe make 1. As for this supposed Sacrament no Papist could euer shew when or where God ordained it to be a Sacrament Nay they agree not among themselues about the time how long it hath beene a Sacrament Some of them hold that euer since the first institution of mariage in Paradise it hath beene a Sacrament But the greater number of Papists hold it to be a Sacrament of the new Testament vnder the Gospell because their Tridentine Councell hath so decreed it Where we may note how the greater number of them when two absurdities are questioned are readie to fall into the worst Vnder the Law the nonage of the Church needed and had more Sacraments then vnder the Gospell yet that which was in vse as much vnder the Law as vnder the Gospell and had then as much to make it a Sacrament as now was then none yet now is one 2. As they cannot shew where it was ordained for a Sacrament so neither can they shew what is the Sacramentall signe thereof Some make carnall copulation to be it But there may be a true mariage though the parties maried neuer know each other Others make the Parents giuing to be the signe But they hold that that is a true mariage which is done without parents consent Others the Priests blessing Yet they hold the mariage of Infidels and Heretiques who haue no Priests to be a true mariage Others the consent of the parties themselues Thus shall a partie administer a Sacrament to himselfe Others other things Thus they wanting the light of Gods word one strayeth in one by-path another in another and none of them hit vpon the right 3. A like difference there is about the forme of this Sacrament 4. If other positions deliuered by them concerning matrimonie be noted a man would thinke that they should be farre from making it a Sacrament They preferre virginitie before it Yea they account it a kinde of pollution They hold it vnlawfull for Priests Monks Nuns and such like holy orders as they esteeme them to marie so as there is a Sacrament whereof their holy ones may not partake The order of Priesthood is a Sacrament in their account yet that order keepeth from mariage so as one Sacrament fighteth against another Yea Infidels may be partakers of a Sacrament and so their holy and precious things shall be denied to their holy ones and cast vnto swine Thus we see a rotten building erected vpon a sandie foundation a false Sacrament established vpon a false application of this text Can it then stand §. 93. Of the Summe of husbands and wiues duties EPHES. 5. 33. Neuerthelesse let euerie one of you in particular so loue his wife euen as himselfe and the wife see that she reuerence her husband THe Apostle hauing made a large digression about the mutuall relation betwixt Christ and the Church whom he propounded as patternes to husbands and wiues he now returneth to the maine point intended namely to the duties of husbands and wiues and so much doth the first particle imply Neuerthelesse as if he had thus said Though I haue a little digressed into the mysterie of the vnion of Christ and the Church yet neuerthelesse doe ye ô husbands and wiues call to minde that which I principally aimed at euen your duties This verse then containeth a conclusion of the Apostles discourse concerning the duties of husbands and wiues Two points are especially noted therein 1. A declaration of their seuerall and distinct duties 2. A direction to apply their owne proper duties each of them to themselues Their distinct duties are noted in two words Loue. Feare  These two as they are distinct duties in themselues so are they also common conditions which must be annexed to all other duties Loue as sugar to sweeten the duties of authoritie which appertaine to an husband Feare as salt to season all the duties of subiection which appertaine to a wife The Apostle therefore hath set them downe as two marks for husbands and wiues to aime at in euerie thing wherein they haue to deale one with the other Of these I will more distinctly speake in the treatises of the particular duties of husbands and wiues §. 94. Of applying the word to our selues The direction for a particular application of their owne proper duties to either of them is here especially to be noted In this direction two things are to be obserued 1. That euery particular person apply to himselfe that which by a Minister is indefinitly deliuered to all Euery one of you in particular saith the Apostle which is as much as if he had thus more largely expressed his minde I haue laid downe such generall duties as all husbands and wiues without exception of any of what ranke or degree soeuer they be are bound vnto which though by name I haue not seuerally deliuered to euerie one one by one but generally to you all yet doe euerie one of you apply those things to your selues in particular 2. That euery one apply his owne peculiar dutie vnto himselfe Loue being peculiar to an husband to him he saith Let him loue his wife and reuerence being peculiar to a wife to her he saith let the wife see that she reuerence her husband The direction in euery of those seuerall Epistles which were sent to the seuen Churches of Asia in these words He that hath an eare let him heare what the Spirit saith to the Churches doth teach euerie member in any of those Churches to apply to himselfe that which was deliuered to the whole Church so doth a like exhortation which Christ with an exclamation made to the people whom he taught in parables and this declaration of the extent of Christs counsell what I say to
you I say to all To this purpose many precepts giuen to whole Churches and to all sorts of people are set downe in the singular number as giuen to one as Awake THOV that sleepest THOV standest by faith be not thou high minded c. The life and power of Gods word consisteth in this particular application thereof vnto our selues This is to mixe faith with hearing faith I say whereby we doe not only beleeue the truth of Gods word in generall but also beleeue it to be a truth concerning our selues in particular and thus will euery precept thereof be a good instruction and direction on to vs to guide vs in the way of righteousnesse euery promise therein will be a great incouragement and consolation to vs to vphold vs and to make vs hold on and euery iudgement threatned therein will be a curbe and bridle to hold vs in and to keepe vs from those sinnes against which the iudgements are threatned But otherwise if we bring not the word home to our own soules it will be as a word spoken into the aire vanishing away without any profit to vs. Nothing maketh the word lesse profitable then the putting of it off from our selues to others thinking that it concernes others more then our selues That we may make the better vse of this doctrine let vs obserue both what are generall duties belonging to all Christians and apply them as particular to our selues and also what duties appertaine to such persons as are of our place calling and condition and more especially apply them to our selues let all manner of husbands and all manner of wiues of what ranke or degree soeuer they be that shall read the duties hereafter following know that they are spoken to them in particular Let Kings and Queenes Lords and Ladies Ministers and their wiues Rich men and their wiues Poore men and their wiues Old men and their wiues Young men and their wiues all of all sorts take them as spoken to them in particular It is not honour wealth learning or any other excellency nor meanes of place pouerty want of learning or any other like thing that can exempt an husband from louing his wife or a wife from reuerencing her husband He that saith euery one excepteth not any one Therefore euery one in particular doe yee so The like application may be made to all Parents and children Masters and seruants concerning their duties §. 95. Of euery ones looking to his owne dutie especially In the forenamed application an eye must be had rather to the dutie which we owe and ought to be performed by vs to others then to that which is due to vs and others ought to performe to vs for the Apostle saith not to the husband see that thy wife reuerence thee but see that thou loue her so to the wife For this purpose the holy Ghost presseth particular duties vpon those particular persons who ought to performe them as Subiection on wiues loue on husbands and so in others This therefore is especially to be considered of thee how thou maist shew thy selfe blamelesse I denie not but that one ought to prouoke another and one to helpe another in what they can to performe their dutie especially superiours who haue charge ouer others but the most principall care of euery one ought to be for himselfe and greatest conscience to be made of performing his owne duty 1. It is more acceptable before God and more commendable before men to doe duty then to exact duty As in matters of free charity so also of bounden duty It is more blessed to giue then to receiue In particular it is better for an husband to be a good husband then to haue a good wife so for a wife To haue others faile in duty to vs may be an heauy crosse for vs to faile in our dutie to others is a fearefull curse 2. Euery one is to giue an account of his owne particular duty That which the Prophet speaketh of father and sonne may be applied to husband and wife and to all other sorts of people If a father doe that which is lawfull and right he is iust he shall surely liue if he beget a sonne that doth not so he shall surely die his bloud shall be vpon him Againe if a father doe that which is not good he shall die in his iniquity but if his sonne doe that which is lawfull and right he shall surely liue The righteousnesse of the righteous shall be vpon himselfe and the wickednesse of the wicked shall be vpon himselfe That this shall be so betwixt husband and wife may be gathered out of these words Two shall be in one bed the one shall be taken the other left Let this be noted against the common vaine apologies which are made for neglect of duty which is this Dutie is not performed to me why shall I doe dutie when my husband doth his dutie I will doe mine saith the wife And I mine saith the husband when my wife doth hers What if he neuer doe his dutie and so be damned wilt thou neuer doe thine This looking for of dutie at others hands makes vs the more carelesse of our owne Doe you therefore O husbands looke especially to your owne duties doe you loue your wiues and you ô wiues looke you to yours especially doe you reuerence your husbands For this end let husbands read those duties most diligently which concerne husbands and wiues those which concerne wiues Let not the husband say of the wiues duties there are goodlessons for my wife and neglect his owne nor the wife say the like of husbands duties and not regard her owne This is it that maketh the subiection of many wiues very harsh and irkesome to them because their husbands that vrge and presse them thereto shew little or no loue to them at all and this is it that maketh many husbands very backwards in shewing loue because their wiues which expect much loue shew little or no reuerence to their husbands Wherefore Let euery one of you in particular so loue his wife euen as himselfe and the wife see that she reuerence her husband §. 96. Of the meaning of the first verse of the sixt Chapter FRom those particular duties which concerne husbands and wiues the Apostle proceedeth to lay down such as concerne children and parents As before he laid downe wiues duties before husbands so here he beginneth with childrens who are inferiour to their parents and that for the same reasons which were rendred before Besides children are the fruits of matrimoniall coniunction therefore fitly placed next vnto Man and Wife That which concerneth children is laid downe in the sixt Chapter of Eph. vers 1 2 3. The meaning whereof we will distinctly open EPHES. 6. 1. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right The first word children is in the originall as proper a word at could be vsed
vnto as if they had neuer beene ioined to a former The liuing husband or wife is the present pledge of Gods fauour He is now thine owne husband and she is now thine owne wife and not the partie that is dead I denie not but the memorie of a vertuous husband or wife ought to be pretious to the suruiuing partie for the memoriall of the iust is blessed But as the vertue of a person deceased may not be buried with the dead corps so neither may the person be kept aboue ground with the memorie of his or her vertue which after a sort is done when loue of the partie deceased either taketh away or extenuateth the loue of the liuing This is to giue dominion to the dead ouer the liuing which is more then the law enioyneth §. 11. Of husbands and wiues mutuall hatred contrary to loue There is a generation of so crabbed and crooked a disposition as they cannot loue but rather hate one another because they are man and wife for many husbands hauing wiues and wiues husbands euery way worthy to be loued will notwithstanding say to the astonishment of the hearers I haue indeed a good husband or I haue a good wife but I cannot loue him or I cannot loue her and being demanded a reason sticke not openly and impudently to reply I thinke I could loue him if he were not mine husband or I thinke I could loue her if she were not my wife O more then monstrous impudencie Is not this directly to oppose against Gods ordinance and against that order which he hath set betwixt man and woman Is it not to trample vnder foot Gods fauour Though there were nothing else to moue loue but this that such an one is thine husband or such an one is thy wife yet this should be motiue enough And shall this be the ground of thine hatred Assuredly such a spirit is a plaine diabolicall spirit contrary to that spirit which is from aboue and if it be not cast out it will cast those whom it possesseth into the fire of hell §. 12. Of mutuall peace betwixt Man and Wife Among other meanes of maintaining an inward louing affection betwixt man and wife outward mutuall peace concord and agreement is one of the principall Whereupon the Apostle exhorteth to keepe the vnitie of the spirit in the bond of peace for peace is a bond that tieth one to another and maketh them to be as one euen one in spirit as on the contrary side outward discord disunites mens spirits We are enioined to follow peace with all men how much more of all persons ought husbands to haue peace with their wiues and wiues with their husbands they are neerer then brothers and sisters Behold then how good and pleasant a thing it is for them to dwell together in vnity Dwell together they must but without peace there is no dwelling together It is better to dwell in a corner of the house top then with a contentious woman in a wide house Persons at variance were farre better be out of sight and place then present together Out of sight and place man and wife must not be at peace therefore they must be Mutuall peace betwixt them is a great refreshing to their mindes being beaten with the discords of others It is said that a wife is in this respect as an hauen to man how much more man to his wife If the hauen be calme and free from stormes and tempests what a refreshing will it be to the Mariner that hath beene tossed in the sea with windes and waues For maintaining peace 1. All offences so much as possibly may be must be auoided The husband must be watchfull ouer himselfe that he giue no offence to his wife and so the wife on the other side Offences cause contentions 2. When an offence is giuen by the one partie it must not be taken by the other but rather passed by and then will not peace be broken The second blow makes the fray 3. If both be incensed together the fire is like to be the greater with the greater speed therefore must they both labour to put it out Wrath must not lie in bed with two such bed-fellowes neither may they part beds for wrath sake That this fire may be the sooner quenched they must both striue first to offer reconciliation Theirs is the glory who doe first begin for they are most properly the blessed peacemakers Not to accept peace when it is offered is more then heathenish but when wrath is incensed to seeke atonement is the dutie of a Christian and a grace that commeth from aboue 4. Children seruants nor any other in the family must be bolstred vp by the one against the other The mans partaking with any of the house against his wife or the wiues against her husband is an vsuall cause of contention betwixt man and wife 5. They must forbeare to twit one another in the teeth with the husbands or wiues of other persons or with their owne former husbands or wiues in case they haue had any before Comparisons in this kinde are very odious They stir vp much passion and cause great contentions 6. Aboue all they must take heed of rash and vniust iealousie which is the bane of mariage and greatest cause of discontent that can be giuen betwixt man and wife Iealous persons are ready to picke quarrels and to seeke occasions of discord they will take euery word looke action and motion in the worse part and so take offence where none is giuen When iealousie is once kindled it is as a flaming fire that can hardly be put out It maketh the partie whom it possesseth implacable 7. In all things that may stand with a good conscience they must endeuour to please one another and either of them suffer their owne will to be crossed rather then discontent to be giuen to the other Saint Paul noteth this as a common mutuall dutie belonging to them both and expresseth their care thereof vnder a word that signifieth more then ordinarie care and implieth a diuiding of the minde into diuers thoughts casting this way and that way and euery way how to giue best content §. 13. Of contentions betwixt man and wife Contrary to mutuall peace are contentions betwixt man and wife which are too frequent in most families and by which the common good is much hindered Discord betwixt man and wife in an house is as contention betwixt the master and pilot in a ship may not great danger and much mischiefe be thence iustly feared We heard before that man to his wife and she to him is as an hauen Now by experience we finde that if the hauen be tempestuous it is much more troublesome and dangerous to the Mariner then the wide sea Wherefore let man and wife be of the same minde one to another as Abraham was to Lot and when
so fall out in many for Christ hath expresly foretold it that of two that were oneâ—ed â—ed together who are more fitly set forth vnder this phrase then man and wife who most vsually are stiled bedfellowes â—ne shall be taken to mercy and glory the other shall be for saken or left to endlesse and easelesse torture and torment But though it be foretold that thus it shall fall out with many a â—ouple yet our care must be and that with our vttermost power to preuent it as in our selues so in our bedfellow If it please the Lord to giue such a blessing to the endeuour of an husband or wife as to be a meanes of the conuersion of their bedfellow then will the partie conuerted both intirely loue the other and also heartily blesse God as there is iust cause that euer they were so neerely linked together This dutie of winning one another is to be applied to such as are maried not only to plaine infidels but also to Papists or other like Idolaters to Atheists or any other profane persons to heretiques separatists schismatiques or any that beleeue not aright §. 24. Of husbands and wiues edifying one another The second dutie tending to the soules saluation is that two beleeuers being maried together they endeuour mutually to build vp one another more and more One Christian oweth this dutie to another much more man and wife Take heed saith the Apostle that no man fall away from the grace of God If no man then nor wife nor husband A spirituall edifying of one another is the best vse which we can make and ought to make of those ioynts and bonds whereby we are knit one to another By vertue of them the body namely the mysticall body of Christ receiueth increase to the edifying of it selfe and increaseth with the increase of God Now the bond of mariage being of all other the firmest and that whereby we are neerest knit together by vertue of what bond should we edifie one another if not by vertue of the mariage bond §. 25. Of husbands and wiues hindering sinne one in another Two things are requisite vnto spirituall edification One respecteth the hinderances of growth in grace The other the helpes thereof The hinderances of grace are all manner of sinnes Sinne to grace is as water to fire it slaketh the heat of it and if without hoe it be powred on it it will cleane put it out In regard hereof there ought to be a mutuall care in husbands and wiues both to preuent sinne before it be committed and also to make what redresse they can after it is committed That it is a mutuall dutie for husbands and wiues so much as they can to preuent sinne one in another is euident by that reason which the Apostle vseth to keepe them from defrauding one another in these words that Satan tempt you not For out of the scope and matter of those words this generall doctrine may be gathered Husbands and wiues ought to be carefull to keepe one another from the temptations of Satan that is from sinne whereunto all his temptations tend Rebekah performed the dutie of a good wife in keeping Isaak from blessing Esau which if he had done he had sinned against Gods expresse word Though she failed in the manner of doing it yet her end was good As that loue they owe one to another so that care which they ought to haue of themselues requireth as much for sinne prouoketh Gods wrath his wrath sendeth downe vengeance that vengeance which falleth on the husband can hardly misse the wife or that the husband which falleth on the wife and that by reason of their neere vnion though it fall not on both their pates yet it cannot but much affect and euen afflict the partie that escapeth The wiues of those rebells who were swallowed vp quicke in the wildernesse perished in like manner with their husbands For they who are so neere as husbands and wiues and doe not what they can to preuent one anothers sinnes make themselues accessary thereto For the better effecting of this dutie husbands and wiues must be watchfull ouer one another and obserue what sinnes either of them are giuen vnto or what occasions are offered to draw either of them into sinne If either of them be cholericke or prone to be angry on a sudden the other must endeuour to take away all occasions of offence and if both should be testie and hastie to wrath when the one seeth the other first moued the partie whose passion is not yet stirred ought the rather to be setled and composed to all meeknesse and patience lest if both together be prouoked the whole houshold be set on fire If either of them be giuen to drunkennesse couetousnesse or any other sinne the other ought by wise and gentle perswasions to keepe them as much as they can from those sinnes Yea they may also get others that are discreet and able to disswade them or vse what other good meanes they can to that purpose §. 26. Of husbands and wiues redressing sinne in one another When either husband or wife is fallen into any sinne a mutuall dutie it is for the other to vse what redresse may be of that sinne as if one of them were wounded the other must take care for the healing of that wound Abigail performed her dutie in this kinde when after she had heard what churlish entertainment her husband gaue to Dauids seruants she hastened to carry store of prouision to Dauid and humbled her selfe before him and so moued Dauid to asswage his wrath yea she tooke a seasonable time also to tell her husband his fault and the danger whereinto he brought himselfe thereby More directly and with better successe did Iaakob redresse the superstition or rather Idolatrie of his wife Rachel as may be gathered by comparing Gen. 31. 19 34 Gen. 35. 2 4.  A brother at large must not suffer sinne to lie on his brother much lesse may husband or wife the one vpon the other Thou shalt not hate thy brother saith the law and suffer sinne to lie on him To doe this then is a token and fruit of hatred If an husband should see his wife or a wife her husband lying in the fire or water ready to be burnt or drowned and not afford their best helpe to pull them out might they not iustly be thought to hate them But sinne is as fire and water which will burne and drowne men in perdition This dutie may be performed by meeke instructions pithy perswasions gentle reproofes yea and by the helpe of some good Minister or other discreet and faithfull friend §. 27. Of husbands and wiues helping forward the growth of grace in each other Hitherto of preuenting and redressing hinderances of grace Hereunto must be added an helping forward of the growth thereof which man and wife must mutually endeuour to effect
they can That which Salomon said of a friend and a brother may fitly be applied in this case to husband and wife a friend loueth at all times and a brother is borne for aduersity that is a trusty and faithfull friend is constant in his good-will and ready to performe all duties of kindnesse at any time whether it be prosperity or aduersity the change of outward estate maketh no alteration in his louing affection and friendly cariage yea he seemeth to be as it were borne and brought forth against the time of trouble and affliction because then is his prouident care and tender affection most manifested Of all friends none ought to be more carefull none more faithfull one to another then man and wife How then ought they to loue at all times and if any triall come to either of them the other so to carrie himselfe as it may be truly said they were ioyned together for aduersity Thus shall they verifie the truth of that whereby God was moued to creare of mankinde male and female namely that it was not good for man to be alone but that it was rather good that is needfull profitable and comfortable for man and woman to be together In which respect the wise-man saith he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and by the rule of relation we may inferre she that findeth an husband findeth a good thing §. 30. Of husbands and wiues backwandnesse to helpe one another in time of need Contrary to this duty is a certaine vnnaturall affection in sundry husbands and wiues who much grudge to prouide the things that are needfull for one another The man commonly thinkes the charge too great the woman thinkes the paines too much they are affected one to another as if they were meere strangers nay many strangers will be more ready to performe and more cheerefull in performing needfull duties as occasion is offered then such vnnaturall husbands and wiues If a little sicknesse or other like crosse fall on one of them the other thinkes neuer any had such a burden and by their discontent make the burden much more heauy then otherwise it would be euen as when two oxen are in one yoke and the one holdeth backe the draught is made much harder to the other Thus doe they peruert one of the principall ends of mariage which is to be a continuall comfort and helpe each to other and to ease the burdens of one another in which respect they are made yoke-fellowes Iobs wife by her vnnaturall cariage towards him in his affliction did much aggrauate his misery when he stood in most need of her helpe she afforded least vnto him it appeares by Iobs complaint of her in these words my breath is strange to my wife that she altogether neglected him in his misery The common speech of many after their husband or wife hauing long lien sicke is departed bewrayeth their vnnaturall affection their speech is this if my husband or wife had died so much sooner I had saued so much mony What doth this intimate but that they could haue beene contented their husband or wife should haue died sooner that they might haue spared the more §. 31. Of Husbands and Wiues mutuall respect of one anothers good name The prouident care of husbands and wiues ought further to extend it selfe to the credit and good name of one another As deare ought the good name of the wife be vnto the husband and of the husband to the wife as their owne The great regard that Ioseph had of the credit of Marie his espoused wife made him thinke of putting her away priuily when â—e obserued her to be with childe and knew not of whom â—or he was not willing to make her a publike example The â—ame respect moued Bethsheba to send secretly to Dauid and â—ell him that she was with childe The commendation which he good husband noted by Salomon giueth of his wife being approued by the holy Ghost sheweth how man and wife â—â—aght in that respect to honour each other and that on good â—ounds For 1. A good name is a most pretious thing better then preâ—ious ointment which giueth a sweet sauour and to be chosen â—oue great riches 2. So neerely are husbands and wiues ioyned together the good name of the one cannot but tend to the honour and credit of the other so that herein they seeke their owne honour also §. 32. Of husbands and wiues preuenting each others discredit For direction herein consider we how this dutie may be performed and how it may be manifested For the better performing of it care must be had both to preuent and redresse an ill name and also to procure and preserue a goodname To preuent an ill name respect must be had of these three things following 1. What one relateth of another and how 2. What eare they giue to things related by others 3. What censure they giue of one another For the first husbands and wiues may in no case delight to discouer vnto others and spread abroad the infirmities and imperfections of one another or any thing that may tend to the discredit of either of them but rather couer and conceale them as much as they may with a good conscience It is expressed that Ioseph being a iust man laboured to conceale that blemish which he imagined to be in his wife so as this may stand with iustice yea also it is a part of Ioue for loue couereth a multitude of sinnes For the second husbands and wiues must not haue their eares wide opened to heare euery tale and report that shall be brought to one against the other but rather shew themselues displeased and offended with them that are ready to relate things of euill report If an husband or wife manifest a willingnesse to hearken after tales and reports of one another the deuill will stirre vp instruments enow to fill their heads with tales and those for the most part both friuolous and forged not only strangers but children seruants and they which are of the same family will euer be telling some tale or other to currie fauour as we speake But an vtter dislike of such flattering tale-bearers will take away occasion from them of telling vntrue or slight reports For the third the iudgement and censure which husbands and wiues giue one of another must either be very charitable or verie sparing If one heare reported any notorious crime of the other they may not be ouer-headie or hastie to iudge and condemne no though they thinke they see some euidence thereof but rather suspend their iudgement This seemeth to be the minde of Ioseph though he obserued Marie to be with childe yet would he not presently iudge her to be a notorious adulteresse or condemne her for an hypocrite vnworthie to liue and therefore would not make her a publike example In briefe that husbands
him as a token of his fauour and as an helpe meet for him to be in his bosome and euer in his sight yea to be no more two but one flesh loue God whom he hath not seene If any man saith he loueth God and hate his wife he is a lier Let husbands therefore by louing their wiues giue euidence that they loue God §. 4. Of an husbands wise maintaining his authoritie All the branches which grow out of this root of loue as they haue respect to husbands duties may be drawne to two heads 1. A wise maintaining of his authoritie 2. A right managing of the same That these two are branches of an husbands loue is euident by the place wherein God hath set him which is a place of authoritie for the best good that any can doe and so the best fruits of loue which he can shew forth to any are such as are done in his owne proper place and by vertue thereof If then an husband relinquish his authoritie he disableth himselfe from doing that good and shewing those fruits of loue which otherwise he might If he abuse his authoritie he turneth the edge and point of his sword amisse in stead of holding it ouer his wife for her protection he turneth it into her bowels to her destruction and so manifesteth thereby more hatred then loue Now then to handle these two seuerally and distinctly I. That an husband ought wisely to maintaine his authoritie is implied vnder this Apostolicall precept Husbands dwell with your wiues according to knowledge that is as such as are well able to maintaine the honour of that place wherein God hath set you not as sots and fooles without vnderstanding The same is also implied vnder the titles of preheminence which the Scripture attributeth to husbands as Lord Master head guide image and glory of God c. The honour and authoritie of God and of his Sonne Christ Iesus is maintained in and by the honour and authoritie of an husband as the Kings authoritie is maintained by the authoritie of his Priuy Councell and other Magistrates vnder him yea as an husbands authoritie is in the family maintained by the authoritie of his wife for as the man is the glory of God so the woman is the glory of the man The good of the wife her selfe is thus also much promoted euen as the good of the body is helped forward by the heads abiding in his place should the head be put vnder any of the parts of the body the body and all the parts thereof could not but receiue much dammage thereby euen so the wife and whole family would feele the dammage of the husbands losse of his authoritie 1. Quest Is it in the power of the husband to maintaine his owne authoritie Answ Yea in his more then in any others for note the counsell of the Apostle to Timothie though in another case yet very pertinent to this purpose Let no man despise thy youth It was therefore in Timothies power to maintaine his honour and not to suffer it to be despised and so is it in an husbands power 2. Quest How may an husband best maintaine his authoritie Answ That direction which the Apostle giueth to Timothie to maintaine his authoritie may fitly be applied for this purpose vnto an husband Be an ensample in conuersation in loue in spirit in faith and in purenesse as if he had said If thou walke before them worthy of thy place and calling and worthy of that honour and respect which is due thereunto shewing forth the fruits of loue faith and other like graces assuredly they will reuerence thy youth but if otherwise thou carrie thy selfe basely and not beseeming a minister thou giuest them iust occasion to despise thee Euen thus may husbands best maintaine their authoritie by being an ensample in loue grauitie pietie honesty c. The fruits of these and other like graces shewed forth by husbands before their wiues and family cannot but worke a reuerend and dutifull respect in their wiues and whole house towards them for by this means they shall more cleerely discerne the image of God shine forth in their faces Obiect Very goodnesse and grace it selfe is hated of wicked and vngodly wiues it was an act of pietie that made Michal despise Dauid Answ 1. Grant it to be so yet this may be a good direction for such husbands as haue not such wicked wiues 2. This doth not alwaies so fall our no nor yet for the most part in those that are wicked true vertue and integritie doth oft cause admiration in such as loue it not 3. Though some be of so crooked and peruerse a disposition as to take occasion of contempt where none is giuen yet shall that husband iustifie himselfe before God and man that carryeth himselfe worthy of his place §. 5. Of husbands losing their authoritie Contrary is their practise who by their profanenesse riotousnesse drunkennesse lewdnesse lightnesse vnthriftinesse and other like base carriage make themselues contemptible and so lose their authoritie though a wife ought not to take these occasions to despise her husband yet is it a iust iudgement on him to be despised seeing he maketh himselfe contemptible Contrary also to the forenamed directions is the sterne rough and cruel carriage of husbands who by violence and tyranny goe about to maintaine their authority Force may indeed cause feare but a slauish feate such a feare as breedeth more hatred then loue more inward contempt then outward respect And contrary is their seruile disposition who against their owne iudgement yeeld to the bent of their wiues minde in such things as are vnlawfull they will lose their authority rather then giue discontent to their wiues which is a fault expresly forbidden by the law and yet a fault whereinto not only wicked Ahab but also wise Salomon fell how heinous a fault and how grieuous a fall this was in Salomon the fearefull issue thereof sheweth Like to him not in wisdome but in this point of egregious folly are such as vpon their wiues instigation suffer Priests and Iesuites to lurke and celebrate Masses in their houses and yeeld to be present thereat themselues Like to Ahab are such Magistrates as suffer their wiues to ouersway them in course of Iustice hence it commeth to passe that more petitions and suites are made to the wiues of Magistrates in the cases of Iustice then to the Magistrates themselues and the fauour of their wiues is more esteemed then their owne so as the power of gouerning and the maine stroke in determining matters is from their wiues they are but the mouthes and instrument of their wiues in so much as among the common people the title of their places and offices is giuen to their wiues Some husbands suffer this by reason of their fearefull and foolish disposition wanting courage and wisdome to maintaine the honour of their places against the
the bodie the eye is most tenderly handled Now what things what persons are more deare and pretious then a wife yet withall she is a weake vessell therefore she is much to be borne withall For an husbands better direction herein difference must be made betwixt infirmities for some are naturall imperfections other are actuall transgressions Naturall imperfections are inward as slownesse in conceit dulnesse in apprehension shortnesse of memorie hastinesse in passion c. or outward as lamenesse blindnesse deafnesse or any other defect and deformitie of bodie These infirmities should breed pitie compassion commiseration yea and greater tendernesse and respect but no offence Note Abrahams example in this case his wife was barren yet he despised her not for it nor vpbraided her with any such thing Actuall transgressions are breaches of Gods law whereof such are here ment as are most directly tending to his owne disquiet and disaduantage as shrewishnesse waiwardnesse nicenesse stubbornnesse c. In the bearing of these must an husband especially shew his wisdome and that sundry wayes 1. By vsing the best and mildest meanes he can to redresse them as meeke admonition seasonable aduice gentle intreatie and compassionate affection Elkanah supposing that his wife offended in her passion thus dealt with her and supported her 2. By remouing the stone whereat she stumbleth by taking away the occasion so far as conueniently he can which maketh her offend Thus Abram and that by Gods aduice put Hagar and her sonne out of the house because they were an offence to Sarah 3. By turning his eyes away if the matter be not great but such as may be tolerated and taking no notice of the offence but rather passing by it as if he perceiued it not Solomon saith that it is a mans glory to passe ouer a transgression and he exhorteth a man not to giue his heart to all the words that men speake 4. By forgiuing and forgetting it if notice be taken thereof Iaakob tooke notice of Rachels rash and froward demand for he rebuked her for it yet in that he readily yeelded to that which afterwards she moued him vnto it appeareth that he forgaue the offence if not forgat it The best triall of a mans affection to his wife and of his wisdome in ordering the same is in this point of bearing with offences Not to be offended with a wife that giueth no offence is not praise-worthy heathen men may goe so farre Note what Christ saith of this case If yee loue them which loue you and doe good to them that doe good to you what thanks and reward haue ye for publicans and sinners doe the same but gently to forbeare and wisely to passe ouer offences when they are giuen not to be prouoked when there is cause of prouocation ministred is a true Christian vertue a vertue beseeming husbands better then any other kinde of men §. 46. Of husbands testinesse Contrary is testinesse and peeuishnesse when husbands are moued with the least prouocation like tinder catching fire at the least sparke that falleth vpon it yea many are like gunpowder which not only taketh fire but also breaketh out into a violent flame vpon the least touch of fire as gunpowder is dangerous to be kept in an house so such husbands to be ioyned so neerely to wiues as mariage ioyneth them If it be said that as gunpowder doth no hurt if fire come not at it so they are good and kinde if they be not prouoked and displeased I answer that we haue a prouerbe that saith The deuill is good while he is pleased yet it is not safe to haue the deuill too neere It is as impossible considering mans weaknesse that he should liue and conuerse with any and not giue offence as for flint stones long to beat and dash against one another no sparke of fire to come from them How then may it be thought possible for a wife who is so continually conuersant with her husband and the weaker vessell to liue without giuing him offence It is no very kinde speech which husbands vse especially if they be told of their vnkindnesse Let my wife deserue fauour and she shall haue it How little fauour would such husbands haue of Christ their husband if he should be of that minde towards them Thus farre hath beene handled the first part of an husbands well managing his authoritie by a tender respect of his wife The second is a prouident care for her §. 46. Of an husbands prouident care for his wife An husband that tenderly respecteth his wife but prouidently careth not for her sheweth more affection then discretion he may haue a kinde heart but he wants a wise head How then can he be a good head vnto his wife Some present contentment she may haue by him but small profit and benefit can she reape from him Those duties therefore which haue beene deliuered must be done but these that follow must by no meanes be left vndone An husbands prouident care is noted in that office of Christ wherein an husband resembleth him namely to be a Sauiour of the bodie as hath beene before declared It consisteth 1. In prouiding things needfull for his wife 2. In protecting her from things hurtfull 1. A carefull prouiding of things needfull is a principall part of that honour which husbands are to giue vnto their wiues For where the Apostle saith that Elders are worthy of double honour he meaneth maintenance as well as reuerence The Apostle counteth him worse then an Infidell that prouideth not for his owne and specially for those of his owne house Who are of an husbands house if not his wife in his house who more properly his owne then his wife If then an husband prouide not for his wife what is he to be accounted Great reason he should prouide for her because he hath taken her from her parents and friends and hath receiued that portion which they allotted her and hath authoritie committed vnto him ouer her and she is put in subiection vnder him her friends hauing giuen away her portion and their power ouer her and committed all to him will take no further care for her she being in subiection vnder him cannot without him prouide for her selfe Who then shall prouide for her if he doe not whose wholy and only she is Contrary is their minde who take a wife only for their owne content or delight or gaine and neuer thinke of that charge which together with a wife they take vpon them According to their minde is their practise for when they haue a wife they neglect her in euery thing but what may stand with their owne ends Much haue they to answer for and so much the more because a wife is an especiall pledge of Gods fauour §. 47. Of an husbands prouiding meanes of spirituall edisication for his wife In this prouident care which an husband ought to haue of Â
great one a man of place and renoune But who greater then Christ What more worthy patterne If as was shewed the example of the Church be of great force to moue wiues to be subiect to their husbands the example of Christ must needs be of much greater force to moue husbands to loue their wiues A great honour it is to be like vnto Christ and his example is a perfect patterne Two things there be which in Christs example are especially to be noted to moue husbands to loue their wiues 1. That great inequality which is betwixt him and his spouse 2. That small benefit which he reapeth by louing her For the better discerning of that inequality the greatnesse of Christ on the one side and the meanesse of the Church on the other are duly to be weighed Christs greatnesse is in Scripture set forth by comparing him with creatures and the Creator Compared with creatures he is farre more excellent then the most excellent as the Apostle by many arguments proueth in the first chapter to Hebr. that whole chapter is spent in proofe of this point And in another place it is said that He is set farre aboue all principality and power and might and dominion and euery name that is named not only in this world but also in that which is to come Compared with the Creator he is no whit inferiour to him but equall Being the brightnesse of glory and the expresse image of his person and that word of whom it is said In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God All things were made by him c. So as he is the very Creator himselfe eternall infinite incomprehensible Thus is Christs greatnesse inexplicable The meanesse of the Church is as low on the other side she is a creature fashioned out of the earth proceeding from the loines of corrupt Adam not only finite but in it selfe vile and base The Prophet Ezechiel doth set her forth in her liuely colours as she is in her selfe Compared therefore vnto Christ she is nothing lesse then nothing What equality what proportion can there then be betwixt Christ and her But if man and woman be compared together we shall finde a neere equality and that both in the points of their humiliation and also of their exaltation In regard of the former they are both of the same mould of the same corrupt nature subiect to the same infirmities at length brought to the same end In regard of the latter the best and greatest priuiledges are common to both of them they are both made after the same image redeemed by the same price partakers of the same grace and heires together of the same inheritance Quest What is then the preferment of the male kinde What is the excellency of an husband Answ Only outward and momentany Outward in the things of this world only for in Christ Iesus they are both one Momentany for the time of this life only for in the resurrection they neither marie nor are giuen in mariage but are as the Angels of God in heauen then all subiection of wiues to husbands ceaseth To conclude this point the inequality betwixt Christ and the Church and equality betwixt man and wife being such as hath beene declared seeing Christ vouchsafeth to loue his Church ought not man thereby be moued to loue his wife The other point concerning the small benefit which Christ reapeth by his Church will yet further inforce the point for illustration whereof we will note the great benefit which man reapeth by his wife The benefit which Christ reapeth from the Church is in one word nothing For Christ is in himselfe Al-sufficient he neither needeth any thing nor can receiue any thing If thou be est righteous what giuest thou to him Or what receiueth he of thine hand Yet abundantly he bestoweth all manner of gifts temporall and spirituall earthly and heauenly It was not therefore his owne good that he respected in louing the Church but her good for he being God became man being Lord of heauen and earth he tooke vpon him the forme of a seruant being rich he became poore hauing the Keyes of hell and of death and being the Lord of life he humbled himselfe and became obedient vnto the death thus to shew loue to his Church he left much for her sake but receiued nothing of her But the benefit which man reapeth from a wife is very great for It was not good for a man to be alone in so much as He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing and that in all the points of goodnesse a profitable thing a comfortable thing a delightfull thing They know not the benefit of the maried estate who prefer single life before it especially if the maried estate be ordered by Gods word and man and wife carefull to performe their owne duty each to other To apply this point also and to bring it to the conclusion If Christ who can receiue nothing from the Church notwithstanding loue her ought not men much more to loue their wiues who many waies receiue much good from them and without whom they cannot well be This example of Christ is the rather to be noted because it cleane wipeth away all those false colours and vaine pretences which many alledge as reasons to shew that there is little reason they should loue their wiues some of their pretences are these 1. Their wiues are of a farre meaner ranke then themselues should they then performe duty to their inferiours They commonly who marrie their kitchin maids or others farre vnder their degree alledge this pretence Answ I might reply That mariage aduanceth a wife to the degree of her husband and that it was his owne follie to marrie one so meane but for the purpose and point in hand let any tell me whether the supposed disparitie betwixt them their wiues be in any degree comparable to that which is betwixt Christ and the Church yet Christ thinketh not much to doe duties of loue to his Church 2. There is nothing in their wiues worthy to be loued Answ This very thing that such an one is thy wife is matter enough to make her worthy of loue But what was there in the Church to make her worthy of Christs loue If it be said that she is endued with many excellent graces which make her amiable in Christs sight I answer that of her selfe she hath none of those graces Christ hath bestowed them vpon her and so made her â—miable and thus oughtest thou to endeuour by vsing all good meanes thou canst to make thy wife answerable to thy loue but howsoeuer to loue her 3. Their wiues giue iust occasion to be hated by reason of their beeuishnesse stoutnesse insolencie and other like intolerable â—ices Answ No occasion may seeme iust to moue an husband
they are vnder their parents gouernment For that time the consent of parents is not only meet but necessarie and that for these reasons 1. Children are as the goods of their parents wholly in their power to be ordered and disposed by them On this ground Satan hauing all that Iob had put into his hand tooke libertie ouer his children as well as ouer his goods and chattell 2. Children while they be vnder gouernment euen the eldest that are heires differ nothing from seruants 3. By Gods law giuen to the Iewes parents had power to sell their children 4. Parents had power to disanull such things as children had done Instance the case of a vow made to God which was one of the most inuiolable things that one could doe Contrary is the opinion and practise of many who hold parents consent at the most but a matter of conueniencie that it is good if children will to haue their parents consent if they haue it not the matter is not great their contracts or other things which they doe are as firme and good without as with their consents If this were so wherein is the authoritie of a parent more then of a wise experienced friend It is meet and good to haue such an ones consent But that the power of parents and dutie of children in this point may the better be seene I will exemplifie it in fiue particular cases 1. Entring into a calling 2. Making mariage 3. Disposing of goods 4. Ordering apparell 5. Making vowes §. 13. Of consent of parents for childrens entring into a calling I. That children ought to haue the consent of their parents in making choise of their calling and not place themselues as they please is euident by the approued practise of the Saints recorded in Gods word Iaakob was sent by his parents to Laban to be educated vnder him Dauid was appointed by his father to keep sheepe when Saul was desirous to haue Dauid attend vpon him he sent to Ishai Dauids father for him In that Ishai was â—o carefull to send prouision to his three eldest sons that followed Saul to the warre we may well thinke that they went to the warre with his consent It is noted of Ionadab that he appointed his â—onnes to dwell in tents and that accordingly they did so and are â—ommended and rewarded for this their obedience It is collected â—oth by ancient and later Diuines that our Lord Iesus Christ 〈◊〉 his younger yeeres before he began to exercise his publike ministerie occupied himselfe in his fathers trade and that this was â—â—e thing wherein he manifested his subiection to his parents This collection is made by comparing Luk. 2. 51. where his subâ—â—ction is noted with Mar. 6. 3. and Mat. 13. 55. where he is calâ—â—d the Carpenter and the Carpenters sonne Equitie requireth that parents should haue an hand in placing â—â—th their children because they brought them forth into the â—orld and brought them vp with much care paines and charge â—hile they were young and till they were fit for a calling Besides Godhath laid it as a charge vpon parents that they â—ould see their children well trained vp great reason therefore at parents consent be had in setting forth children to a calling §. 14. Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens entring into religious orders without consent of parents Contrary is the opinion of Papists who say that children may â—er into religious orders not only without consent but also aâ—â—â—nst the minde and good like of their parents Whereby they 〈◊〉 not only patronize apparent disobedience in children against the expresse word of God but also disable children from helping their parents in case of necessitie for both which Christ rebuked the Scribes and Pharisies in a like case Obiect Papists doe grant that if parents be in such necessitie as they cannot liue without their childrens helpe their children may not by entring into any religious order forsake their parents For they are bound by the law of God to succour their parents Answ 1. This caution hath beene extorted from them by euidence of argument taken from Gods word and pressed by their aduersaries 2. It toucheth not the principall argument taken from Gods precept which they make of none effect by this their tradition 3. Though parents be not at that present when children first enter into their religious order in such extreme need yet they may be afterwards But after that children are once entred they hold it vtterly vnlawfull that children for any necessitie of the parent should attend vpon them for their succour Obiect Children being entred into religious orders may helpe them as becommeth religious persons by their praiers to God Answ 1. This is iumpe the Pharisies Corban whereof Christ maketh mention Mar. 7. 11. and whereby he notably discouereth the hypocrisie of the Pharisies who made pretence of religion an hinderance to that obedience which God required of children 2. To pray for that which a man indeuoureth not to doe when he may doe it is a plaine mocking of God The arguments which they alledge for confirmation of their erroneous opinion are taken from extraordinary examples or from mysticall resemblances as 1. Abrahams leauing his fathers house 2. Leuies speech of his father and mother who said I haue not seene him 3. The aduice giuen to the royall Queene Forget thy fathers house 4. The triall of our loue of Christ by louing him more then father or mother 5. Christs forbidding one that followed him to goe and burie his father Answ 1. For Abrahams example 1. it cannot be proued that he left his fathers house without the consent of his father 2. He was then maried and so of another house 3. He had an expresse particular charge of God to leaue his fathers house euen as he had to sacrifice his sonne Except the like charge can be shewed his example maketh nothing to the purpose 2. For Leuies speech 1. It was noted by Moses in relation to a particular zealous fact of the Leuites in executing the vengeance of the Lord and so to be reckoned among such extraordinary things as are not exemplary 2. That which moued the Leuites to make no difference betwixt their parents and others was the Lords cause their parents and kindred as well as others had notoriously sinned against God and in that respect the Leuites took no notice of them But they are not such parents which Papists teach children to forsake but any parents Now what consequence is this Some children haue been Gods Ministers in executing iust punishment on their wicked parents therefore children may enter into such places as shall exempt them from helping any parents though well deseruing 3. The Leuites had an expresse charge for that which they did but that which Papists inferre from their example doth make the commandement of God of none effect 3. For
their parents in euill was so farre from extenuating their sinne as it did rather aggrauate the same The preferring of father and mother before the Lord Christ sheweth that such a childe is not worthy of Christ In comparison of Christ Father and mother must be hated But that vndue and vnchristian-like respect of parents aboue Christ is it that maketh so many young Papists young swagerers swearers liars deceitfull persons and lewd liuers For auoiding the two forenamed extremes let thine heart be filled with a true feare of God and withall consider the difference betwixt our earthly parents and our heauenly Father They are but parents of our flesh he is the Father of spirits They can but touch the body he can cast body and soule into hell They are but a while ouer vs he for euer Their authority is subordinate to his his supreme absolute of it selfe They can giue but a light temporary reward he an eternall weight of glorie They cannot shelter vs from his wrath he can from theirs Hitherto of such duties of children as respect their parents authority such as respect their necessity follow §. 39. Of childrens Recompence The generall head whereunto al the duties which children owe to their parents in regard of their Necessity is in one word Recompence which is a dutie whereby children indeauour as much as in them lieth to repay what they can for their parents kindnesse care and cost towards them and that in way of thankfulnesse which maketh a childe thinke he cannot doe too much for his parent well may he thinke so for a parent doth much more for his childe before it is able to doe for it selfe then the childe possibly can doe for the parent So as if the parents authority were laid aside yet the law of equity requireth this dutie of Recompence so also doth the law of piety and charity Wherefore of all other Duties this is most due It is in expresse termes giuen in charge to children by the Apostle who willeth them to learne to requite their parents Contrary is neglect of parents in their need which is more then monstrous ingratitude As all ingratitude is odious to God and man so this most of all and yet very many are guilty thereof In them the prouerbe is verified that loue is weighty For it is the property of weighty things to fall downe apace out to ascend slowly and that not without some violence Thus loue from the parent to the childe falleth downe apace â—ut it hardly ascendeth from children to parents In which respect another prouerbe saith One father will better nourish nine children then nine children one father Many children in his kinde doe no more for their parents then for strangers They either consider not how much their parents haue done for them or else they conceit that what their parents did was of meere dutie and needeth no recompence Fie vpon such barbarous and inhumane children §. 40. Of infirmities whereunto parents are subiect The rule of the forenamed recompence is on the one side the parents Necessity and on the other the childes Ability So as in euery thing wherein a parent needeth his childes helpe the childe to his power must afford his best helpe Beyond ones power nothing can be expected A parents Necessity may be through Naturall infirmities Casuall extremities  Naturall infirmities are Inward Outward  Inward Infirmities are weakenesse of iudgement slipperinesse of memory violence of passion with the like whence proceed frowardnesse testinesse suspiciousnesse iealousie feare griefe c. Outward Infirmities are such as arise from some instant temptation as were Noahs and Lots drunkennesse Lots and Dauids vncleanesse Abrahams and Isaakes dissimulation Iaakobs and Dauids excessiue lamentation c. Some of these latter which may seeme most heinous and odious sinnes are then to be accounted infirmities when they who commit them make not a sport of them nor delight to liue and lie in them as swine to wallow and lie in the mire but only at some times through some temptation as it were vnawares fall into them and after they are committed they are themselues more ashamed of them and more grieued for them then any other that see them or heare of them In regard of the naturall infirmities of parents the dutie of children is both to beare with them and also to couer them so farre as they can §. 41. Of childrens bearing with their parents infirmities Children beare with their parents infirmities when they doe not the lesse reuerendly esteeme their place or person nor performe the lesse dutie to them because of their infirmities This is the first particular branch of recompence For children in their yonger and weaker yeares are subiect to many infirmities if parents had the lesse respected them for their infirmities and from thence had taken occasion to neglect them and would not haue borne with them surely they could not haue beene so well brought vp That great patience long-sufferance and much forbearance which parents haue shewed towards their children requireth that children in way of recompence shew the like to their parents as occasion is offered It was a great infirmity in Isaak to preferre Esau a prophane childe before Iaakob a religious childe especially against Gods expresse word concerning Iaakob yet Iaakob respected not his father a whit the lesse for it as appeares by his feare to offend him and by his readinesse to obey him Iaakobs vniust reproofe of Ioseph was no small infirmity and yet how much Ioseph reuerenced and euery way respected his father the history following sheweth Sauls infirmities were farre more and much greater then any of theirs yet what dutie and faithfulnesse did Ionathan his sonne performe to him euen to their deaths for he died with him We haue herein the patterne of Christ himselfe how great infirmity did his mother bewray when ouer-rashly she rebuked him being about a good worke a bounden duty his Fathers businesse yet immediatly thereupon it is noted that he went downe with his parents and was subiect to them which manifesteth the honour he gaue to his mother notwithstanding her infirmitie Contrary to this duty doe they who take occasion from their parents infirmities to thinke basely of their person and their place and thereupon grow carelesse in duty either refusing to doe any duty at all or else doing it carelesly grudgingly disdainefully and scornefully Absolom made a supposed infirmity of his father the ground of his rebellion Had his pretence beene true yet had it not beene a sufficient cause for him to disgrace and rise against his father as he did The law that threatneth Gods vengeance against such children as mocke at their father or despise to obey their mother maketh no exception of parents infirmities §. 42. Of childrens couering their parents infirmities Children couer their parents infirmities both by
childrens being Children come out of the substance of both alike 2. The care and pains of both for the good of the children is very great I know not of whether the greater The mothers paines and care in bringing forth the childe is indeed the greater and it may be also the greater in bringing vp the childe especially while it is young at least if she giue it sucke her selfe yet afterwards the fathers exceedeth in prouiding fit calling sufficient meanes of maintenance yea and portion or inheritance for it and that after he himselfe is dead Thus one way or other the childe is equally bound to both and accordingly Gods law maketh no difference betwixt them Obiect The wife is subiect to her husband therefore a childe ought to preferre his father before his mother Answ Though there be a difference betwixt father and mother in relation of one to another yet in relation to their children they are both as one and haue a like authority ouer them Now children are not to looke to that difference that is betwixt their parents in that mutuall relation that is betwixt husband and wife but to that authority which both parents haue ouer their children and so to carry an equall respect to both 2. Obiect What if the fathers and mothers disposition be contrary and the one command what the other forbids Answ The thing commanded or forbidden must be obserued if it be about a thing simply good or euill lawfull or vnlawfull then the parent which would haue the thing lawfull to be done or vnlawfull to be for borne though it be the mother must be obeyed for in this case she is backt with Gods authority But if the matter be meerely indifferent then I doubt not but the father must be obeyed yet so as the childe no way shew any contempt to his mother but with all reuerence and humility make it knowne to her that it is best both for her-selfe and himselfe that his father be obeyed But if the fathers contrary authority be not interposed or if the father be dead then is a mother as simply and absolutely to be obeyed in all things as a father §. 55. Of pretences alledged to obey father rather then mother Contrary on the one side is their childish fondnesse who so wholly respect their mother and seeke to please her as they little regard their father vnlesse through feare they be forced thereto and on the other side their scornefull spirit who only beare respect to their father and altogether neglect their mother if not despise her For the most part of the two the mother is lesse regarded The reasons whereof I take to be these following whereunto I will annex particular meanes to remoue the seeming force of those reasons as antidotes or remedies vnto them 1. The mother by reason of her sex is commonly the weaker and subiect to more infirmities Answ Children ought rather to looke vpon their mothers place and authority then their person and infirmitie so these would no whit impaire their respect of the other 2. The mother is more indulgent and tender to her children and vseth more familiarity towards them now familiarity breedeth contempt Answ This is the abuse of familiarity loue should breed loue and loue must be ordered according to the condition of the parties louing and loued As children with one eie behold the affection of the mother so with another they should behold Gods image in the mother and then that which is noted as the ground of all childrens dutie a louing-feare would be wrought in their heart which would cast out all contempt 3. The mother hath not that power to reward or reuenge that a father hath Answ 1. This is not to obey in the Lord. No outward respect should moue the childe to obey his parents so much as conscience to God-wards If children duly considered God how he hath made no difference but commanded them to obey both alike and how he is able abundantly to reward and seuerely to reuenge that reason would be no reason 4. The mother is subiect to the father Answ This was remoued before As a generall answer to these and all other such pretences as can be alledged let it be noted that the Lord doth not only in expresse termes charge children to feare their mother but also the more to presse this point sometime setteth the mother in the first place thus Yee shall feare euery man his mother and his father which is not so to be taken as if the mother of the two were the more excellent in this respect the father for the most part is first named but because it is the truest triall of a childes subiection to be subiect to his mother He that willingly and conscionably subiecteth himselfe to her who is in relation to her husband the inferiour in sex the weaker in condition subiect to more infirmities in her affections lesse moderate in power lesse able to reward or to punish will much rather no doubt subiect himselfe to his father §. 56. Of the difference of childrens subiection to naturall parents and to such as only are in the place of parents Beside naturall parents there are others by God so set ouer children as they owe in conscience child-like dutie vnto them These in generall are such as are in the place of parents and so performe or at least ought to performe the dutie of parents to children They are of two sorts 1. Such as are ioyned to a naturall parent in mariage commonly called Step-fathers and step-mothers or fathers in law and mothers in law 2. Such as haue the gouernment and tuition of children committed to them commonly called Guardians Tutors Gouernours yea also foster-fathers and foster-mothers Quest Is the same dutie in euery respect due to those who are in place of parents as to naturall parents themselues Answ Not so There is such a prerogatiue appertaining to naturall parents from whom children haue receiued their being that many things wherein children by an absolute necessity are bound to them are bound vnto the other who are but in place of parents only by the law of honesty of meetnesse conueniency Whence it commeth to passe that such things as being done by children rebelliously without or against the consent of naturall parents proue meere nullities will stand in force though they be done without or against the consent of such as are only in the place of parents instance contracts made about goods lands and such other things as parents retaine a right in whereunto many good Diuines adde contracts of mariage of calling and the like Yet notwithstanding seeing in conscience we are bound to those things which the law of honesty and conueniency requirety for whatsoeuer things are honest iust and of good report are to be done great is that dutie which children owe to those who are in place of parents §. 57. Of childrens subiection to fathers and
couetously dote vpon their wealth as they will not bestow a groat to helpe them in calling and mariage but say they keepe all for them What a wretched and foolish disposition is this that they should still lay vp more and more for their children and yet refuse to bestow any part thereof vpon them in their greatest need when it might redound to their greatest benefit God oft meeteth with such couetous misers and crosseth their purposes by making strangers to enioy that which they greedily hoorded vp §. 58. Of parents last speech to their children The last dutie which parents owe to their children is when they cease to be parents that is when they are going out of this world Their dutie at that time in generall is to doe what lieth in them that it may goe well with their children after their departure Both the reasons which are oft vrged by the Holy Ghost to stir vp parents to yeeld obedience to God taken from extent of Gods blessing in this kinde of phrase Blessed shall their children be after them and Gods promises made to that purpose doe proue as much For the better performing of this dutie three generall points tending both to the temporall and also to the spirituall good of children are to be obserued and two particular points most tending to their temporall estate The three generals are these 1. Good direction 2. Faithfull prayer 3. A wise choise of some friends to be as parents to them 1. For direction When parents obserue their time to draw neere they ought to commend some wise and wholsome precepts vnto their children the better to direct them in their Christian course So did Isaak and Iaakob Ob. These Patriarchs had an extraordinarie spirit of prophecying by vertue thereof foretold their children things to come Answ They sustained a double person one of a prophet another of a father as prophets they had an extraordinarie spirit as parents they performed ordinarie dutie by their extraordinarie spirit they foretold things to come the ordinarie dutie which they performed was to direct their children how to carrie themselues in those times to come For their prophesies were not only predictions but also instructions to direct and teach them what to doe What they did by an extraordinarie spirit in extraordinarie things we must doe in ordinarie duties by the ordinarie spirit of vnderstanding and wisdome which the Lord giueth vs. But the direction which Isaak gaue to Iaakob when he sent him to Laban was no extraordinarie prophesie nor that which Dauid when he was old gaue to Solomon and againe when he lay on his death-bed Now these things are thus written for our imitation And great reason there is to imitate those holy men in these things For 1. The words of a dying parent are commonly most regarded his last words doe make a deepe impression this doe the brethren of Ioseph presse vpon him If euer therefore there be a time seasonable for a parent to giue good instructions to his children then is the time when parents are cleane departing from their children 2. Thus shall a parent manifest his true affection and earnest desire of his childrens good for now they cannot thinke that he seeketh his owne ease and profit more then their good as at other times some will be ready to say of their parents instructions and admonitions Our parents know what is good for themselues That the last words of parents may be the more seasonably and profitably deliuered to their children they must note on the one side what euils their children are most prone vnto what temptations they are most assaulted withall what snares they are most like to fall into and on the other side what vertues and graces are most needfull for them and wherein they faile most and accordingly they must order and frame their last words Note for a patterne herein Isaaks counsell to Iaakob when he sent him to Laban and thought he should neuer see him againe and Dauids to his sonne Solomon §. 59. Of Parents last blessing to their children II. Concerning the prayers of parents for their children I noted it before to be a generall dutie neuer to be omitted yet here in particular I mention it againe because a parents blessing consisteth therein especially and then is the most proper time for parents to bestow a blessing on their children as Isaak Iaakob Dauid and others did Let parents therefore as they commend their owne soules into Gods hand so commend their children vnto Gods grace and blessing Gods prouidence is a good inheritance many children doe thereby exceedingly prosper though they haue but small outward meanes whereas others that haue great meanes vsed for their good come to ruine Gods curse following them Now no such meanes can be thought of to procure Gods blessing or to with-hold his curse as the faithfull prayers of parents for their children especially when parents are leauing their children and going to God §. 60. Of parents care to commend their children to some faithfull friends III. The third generall point of making choise of some faithfull friends to commend their children vnto is especially in behalfe of such as are not of sufficient age and discretion to looke to themselues or to those weightie affaires which belong vnto them The friends which in this case are made choise of ought to be such as the parents themselues by good experience haue found to be honest wise faithfull and louing to them and theirs whom parents are to set in their owne place for the good of their children This meanes did Dauid vse when he was old in the behalfe of his sonne Solomon Many children haue found much helpe thereby Such may make a good supply of the departure of parents These are so much the more needfull by how much the more vnstable and vnbridled youth is and by how much the lesse able children are to helpe and guide themselues §. 61. Of parents neglect of their children for the time to come Contrary to a parents prouidence for the good of his children after his departure is the carelesnesse of parents for the time to come They thinke the world is gone with them when they are gone and therefore they will take no thought for the future times that shall be after them as if it were enough for euery one to looke to his owne time There may seeme to be more self-selfe-loue in such parents then loue of their children in that their care determineth with their owne time and extendeth not it selfe to the time and continuance of their children Hence is it that not a word of direction and exhortation commeth out of their mouths to their children when they are departing no blessing that they will leaue behinde them no friends shall be deputed by them to be as parents to their children Let God prouide say they But where there is a referring of
nor through miserablenesse and niggardlinesse carry themselues vnbeseeming the place wherein God hath set them and estate which he hath bestowed vpon them He that liueth somewhat vnder his meanes hath opportunitie to lay vp portions for other children if he haue many and to reserue his inheritance intire to his eldest beside many other good workes of charity as God shall offer occasion which he that liueth aboue his meanes cannot doe §. 65. Of the inconueniences which improuident parents bring their children vnto after their death Contrary to this branch of a parents prouidence are many courses of improuident parents For 1. Some parents lauish and bezell out all their estate in their owne life time making it to determine in their persons Vnworthy they are to receiue any inheritance from ancestors Their fault is double 1. In spending prodigally aboue their estate 2. In wronging their children and depriuing them of their right for particular persons succeding one another are but as diuers linkes of a continued family which are by Gods prouidence added one to another this chaine is not to be broken at any mans pleasure but for the preseruation thereof that which hath beene receiued of the predecessors must be left to the successors 2. Others leaue their estate to their children but so incumbred with debts bonds recognizances and statutes as their children were better be without it then haue it For the hauing it maketh them liue at an answerable rate and bringeth many burdens vpon them besides the debts wherein they stand obliged make them as seruants to their creditors and in time they must be forced to sell all or as captiues lie in prison 3. Others though they deale not so hardly with their children yet they deale too hardly by peeling and polling their inheritance as much as they can they wil not forbeare to make any present gaine that they can though it tend neuer so much to the preiudice and dammage of their children after them as they who cut downe all the timber and wood that they can and take out all the heart of their land 4. Among these may be reckoned such parents as by meere negligence suffer things to goe to decay for want of timely reparations whereby it commeth to passe that such dammages as in the parents time might haue beene preuented with laying out a few shillings cannot be renewed with many pounds 5. Such also as care not in their life time to cleere the titles of those things which they leaue to their children but leaue all things so vnsetled and litigious as it oft costs children more in suit of law to maintaine the inheritance which their parents leaue them then the inheritance is worth and yet after all their paines and cost lose the inheritance too whereas the parent that knew more then the childe can might with small paines and charge haue well setled and cleered all These are mischiefes that many children haue beene brought into by the improuidence of their parents which are the rather to be made knowne that such as come after may proue the more prouident for their children §. 66. Of parents impartiall respect to all their children Hitherto of parents duties The persons to whom those duties are to be performed are distinctly to be considered The parties to whom parents are to performe all the forenamed duties are expressed vnder this word Children which hath not any speciall respect to prioritie of birth to constitution of body to affection of parent or any such thing as if first borne proper beautifull darling or the like children were only meant but all that are begotten and borne of parents all their children are meant Whence I obserue that Parents ought to haue an impartiall respect to all their children and performe dutie indifferently and equally to all We haue for proofe hereof Gods patterne who accounteth all his children deare or beloued children The Greeke word translated deare is very emphaticall it is properly attributed to an only childe the seuentie that translated the Hebrew Bible into Greeke doe with this word interpret that phrase Only Sonne for where in Hebrew it is thus said to Abraham take thy sonne thine only one they thus translate it take thy sonne thy deare one or thy beloued one Other Greeke authors doe so attribute the same word to an only childe yea also and to an only eie as when a man hath but one eie they call it a beloued eie This word then sheweth that God so respecteth all his children as if all were but one all a first-borne all a darling childe So rare a vertue this impartiall respect is rare in the excellencie of it rare also in the scarcitie of it as thorowout the Scripture I can scarce finde a perfect patterne thereof among the sonnes of men Many may be giuen of the contrary as we shall after heare But the more rare it is the more we must labour after it that so we may resemble Gods fatherhood 1. All our children come from our owne substance and bowels Why then should we respect one childe aboue another more then we doe one eie or one eare aboue another We are as tender ouer one as ouer another though it may be we haue more vse of one then of another 2. All our children are alike committed to vs by God the same precepts and directions giuen for all alike the like account to be giuen for all If a King should commit many of his children to one nurse would not he be offended and that iustly if she should put such a difference betwixt them through a foolish partialitie as to respect some and neglect others §. 67. Of parents preferring a dutifull childe before a disobedient childe Obiect What if one childe be more pious to God and parent another more rebellious may not a parent respect that more then this 1. Answ He may take notice of their different carriage and accordingly reward the one and punish the other and yet carrie an equall desire of doing good to both of them alike for the punishing of the rebellious childe is a parents dutie an euidence of loue and a meanes of doing him good 2. Answ It is no partialitie to like grace and goodnesse in a childe and for grace and goodnesse sake to loue his childe so much the more as also for impietie and obstinacy in rebellion to haue his heart the more alienated from his childe this is rather a vertue in a parent Partialitie is when on by and vndue respects one childe is preferred before another §. 68. Of the prerogatiue of the first-borne sonne Quest May not a parent preferre his first-borne childe and heire before his other children Answ We must put difference betwixt a fathers disposing his estate vpon his children and the ordering of his affection towards them A parents affection and care of good education and desire of true good and faithfull praiers to God may be as great towards his younger
no small sinne §. 21. Of seruing with sincerity The second branch concerning the manner of seruants performing their dutie is in these words in singlenesse of heart so as all must be performed with an honest and vpright heart whatsoeuer yee doe doe it heartily saith the Apostle to seruants in another place Thus did Ioseph in singlenesse of heart serue his master instance his refusing to abuse his mistresse in a priuate chamber when she desired it and no other body was in the house Happy were it for masters to haue such seruants then might they take no more care then Potiphar did but put all that they haue into their seruants hands Neither would this rare vertue in seruants be only profitable to their masters but also very comfortable to themselues and bring them much peace of conscience Contrary is hypocriticall seruice when seruants haue a heart and a heart making shew-of one heart outwardly and haue another euen a cleane contrary heart within them Such an one was Gehazi who came in and stood before his master as if he had performed some good seruice for his master when he had most highly dishonoured him and such an one was Iudas who carried as faire a face to his master as any of the disciples and yet was an arrant traitor for when he was thought to goe out to buy prouision for his master he went to betray him All eye-seruice is contrary to the forenamed singlenesse of heart when seruants are diligent so long as their masters eye is on them like little children that will doe any thing their mother will haue them doe while her eye is vpon them but nothing when her backe is turned The world is full of such eye-seruing seruants who while their masters are present will be as busie as Bees but if he be away then either idling at home or gadding abroad or nothing but wrangling and eating and drinking with the drunken like that lewd seruant whom Christ noteth in the parable Let the iudgement denounced against him be noted of such seruants §. 22. Of seruing for conscience sake The third branch of the manner of seruants performing their dutie is in these words as vnto Christ as the seruants of Christ doing the will of God as to the Lord all which doe set forth a good conscience or such seruice as is performed for conscience sake or for the Lords sake which is all one because the conscience hath an eye only to the Lord to his will and to his ordinance Though there were no other motiue in the world to moue them to obey their masters yet their conscience to God would moue them Such was Iosephs manner of seruing his master as the reason which he himselfe rendreth to his mistresse sheweth How can I doe this great wickednesse and sinne against God The prayer which Abrahams seruant made to God and the thanks which he rendred to him for blessing his iourney shew that he serued his master for the Lords sake It is more cleare then needs be proued that such was Iaakobs seruice to his master This is the rather to be noted of Christian seruants because herein lieth the greatest difference betwixt beleeuing seruants and others others may serue with feare and trembling in singlenesse of heart and with good will but only Saints doe seruice as to Christ for conscience sake If this be not that which only they aime at yet assuredly they doe chiefly and principally aime at it which maketh them not to content themselues with doing the thing but to endeuour to doe it after the best manner that they can so as God may best accept thereof whereby as they approue themselues to God so they doe much good to their masters and bring much comfort vnto their owne soules Contrary is the minde of most who doe all the seruice which they doe on by-respects they may performe much dutie and it may be doe much good to their masters and thereupon they may get good wages at their masters hands and extraordinarie recompence also and liue in much quiet vnder them but no reward can they looke for at Gods hands so as I may say to such seruants as Christ said to those who did all to haue glory of men They haue their reward §. 23. Of seruants willingnesse to performe their dutie The fourth branch respecting the manner of seruants performing their dutie is noted in this phrase with good will This good will of a seruant to his master hath respect partly to the disposition of the seruant and so it implieth willingnesse and cheerefulnesse and partly to the benefit of the master and so it implieth faithfulnesse Of willingnesse to doe that dutie which belongeth to a seruant Christ Iesus who tooke vpon him the forme of a seruant hath made himselfe a worthy patterne I delight to doe thy will saith he to him that sent him and againe My meat is to doe the will of him that sent me and to finish his worke Doth not a man eat his meat willingly with delight and cheerefulnesse euen so did Christ the worke of him that sent him So cheerefully did Iaakob serue his Vncle Laban that seuen yeeres seemed to him but a few dayes Obiect The reason thereof was the loue he had to Rachel 1. Answ This was one reason but not the only reason had he not borne good will to his Vncle and Master as well as loue to his wife the time might haue seemed tedious enough but both meeting together made the time passe away the better 2. Answ If the loue he had to Rachel made him doe his seruice so cheerefully then if seruants loue God for whose sake they ought to doe their seruice it will cheerefully be done 1. That which the Apostle applieth to giuing of almes 2 Cor. 9. 7. may be extended to all manner of duties which God requireth God loueth cheerefulnesse that worke therefore which is not seasoned therewith God regardeth not 2. As cheerefulnesse maketh God the better to like the worke so it maketh the worke much more easie to him that doth it Our common prouerbe noteth as much Nothing is hard to a willing minde 3. Let there be cheerefulnesse in a seruants minde and he is as free as his master for such a seruant is the Lords freeman 1 Cor. 7. 22. and when he cannot be made free of his master he doth after a manner make his seruice free Haue an eye to God to his acceptation and remuneration and it will quicken thy spirit Mans reward maketh poore men glad of worke and cheerefull in doing their worke it is as sugar to sharpe wine Tradesmen Physitians Lawyers all sorts of men are by gaine drawne on with great willingnesse to take great paines Should not Gods recompence of our paines make vs much more willing Surely it would if we had such an eye of faith as Moses had thereby to
of loue Deut. 13. 6. 3. Loue keepes a man from abusing his authority 4. Loue maketh him beare with her infirmities 5. His loue draweth loue from her How loue is an husbands particular dutie 1 Cor. 13. 5. Loue a common condition to be annexed to euerie dutie Contrary 1. Hatred Deut. 22. 13 c. Deut. 24. 3. Mat. 19. 8. 2. Want of loue 1 Ioh. 4. 20. * Treat 3. §. 9. Branches of loue II. Husbands must maintaine their authoritie 1 Pet. 3. 7. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 See Treat 3. §. 3. Reasons 1. Gods authoritie maintained by the husbands 1 Cor. 11. 7. 2. The wiues good promoted thereby It is in the mans power to maintaine his authoritie 1 Tim. 4. 12. How a mans authority may be well maintained Ad viros pertinet virtute vincere exemplo regere foeminaâ— Aug. de Adult Coniug lib. 2. cap. 8. Contrary 1. base carriage 2. Cruell dealing 3. Yeelding in vnlawfull things a Dent. 13. 6 7. b 1 King 21. 7 9. 1 King 11. 4. Maximè obseruate vos atque attendite anim bus vestris ô viri ab vxoris concitationibus atque malis instigationibus per hanc enim in vltimo supplantare Job visus est diabolus c. per istas etiam nunc plurimos subuertit Orig. in Ioh. lib. 2. * Treat 3. §. 3. How a mans authority may be well managed Husbands must account their wiues yoke-fellowes 1 Pet. 3. 7. Gen. 2. 18. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Eph. 5. 28. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * Treat 3. §. 4. Rom. 8. 17. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1 Cor. 3. 9. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Vxor serua domina est viri Chrysost in 1 Cor. 7. hom 19. * Debet in vxorem vir dominari vt animus in corpus coÌ„sentiens ei conspirans beneuolentia Plut. praec connub Non es dominus sed maritus non ancillam sortitus es sed vxorem gubernatorem â—e Deus voluit esse sexus inferioris non praepotentem Ambr. Hexaem lib. 5. cap. 7. * Treat 3. §. 5. IIII. Husbands must account their owne wiues best for them a Eph. 5. 25. b Ves 28. Reason Euery ones wife is prouided by God c Pro. 19. 14. d 18. 22. e Socrates interrogatus qua gratia vxoris mores toleraret respondit vt gymnasium palaestram philosophiae domi habeam Chrys hom 26. in 1 Cor. 11. f Ars tua Tiphy iacet si non sit in aequore fluctus Ouid. de Trist l. 4. eleg 3. * Treat 3. §. 7. V. Husbands must intirely delight in their wiues a Ezec. 24. 16. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 b Gen. 24. 67. Pro. 5. 18 19. expounded 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Col. 1. 13. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Nihil viro vxore bona amabilius Hier. in Ezec. 24. Gen. 26. 8. * Treat 3. §. 10. VI. Husbands must kindly accept euery good duty of his wife Gen. 21. 8. 1 Sam. 1. 23. Contrary 1. To take no notice of their wiues goodnesse 2. Sleightly to passe it ouer 1 Sam. 25. 21. 3. Scornfully to reiect it Rom. 12. 21. Ephes 6. 4. * Treat 3. §. 11. 55. How a mans good acceptance of his wiues duty is manifested 1. By answering reuerence with courtesie Depone asperitatem morum cum tibi sedula vxor occurrit c. Ambr. Hexaem lib. 5. cap. 7. Courtesie may stand with superiority Gen. 23. 6 7. Gen. 33. 3 4. Esth 5. 2. * Treat 3. §. 15. 2. By granting her humble request a Est 5. 3. b 1 King 1. 28. c. c Gen. 28. 1. d 16. 6. e 21. 10. 11. * §. 5. * Treat 3. § 38 39 c. §. 43 44 c. 3. By accepting what she is willing to doe 4. By forbearing to exact too much 5. By suffering her to dwell where it is meetest for her a Gen. 31. 4 c. 6. By forbearing to tire her with guests 7. By suffering her to manage the affaires of the house b 1 Sam. 1. 23. c Pro. 31. 11. d 1 Tim. 5. 14. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * Materfamilias What things are to be put to the wiues disposing e Pro. 31. 21 22. f Uers 15. g Gen. 16. 6. h 1 Tim. 5. 10. T it 2 4. 2 King 4. 19. Cautions about referring matters of the house to the wiues ordering i Pro. 31. 11. k Gen. 39. 6. Difference betwixt the trust put in a wife and in others In what things an husband manifesteth too much strictnesse Gen. 2. 18. Pro. 20. 7. 14. 8. 20. 3. 1 Tim. 6. 4. Husbands must commend and reward good things in their wiues a Rom. 13. 3. c Vers 31. b Prou. 31. 28 29. * Lege apud T. Liv. Dec. 1. l. 1. quid inde evenit quòd regij iuuenes suam quisque vxorem miris modis laudare Quisque suam laudot studijs certamina crescunt Ouid. Fast lib. 2. * Treat 3. §. 10. Oportet virum praecsse vxori oblectando indulgendo Plut. praec Connub 2 Tim. 2. 24. Col. 3 19. * Treat 3. §. 13. 14. Wherein a husbands mildnesse is manifested * Of his speech about her behinde her backe See Treat 2. Part. 2. §. 36. The speech of husbands to their wiues sweetned with mildnesse 1. Mild and kinde titles Contrary vnseemely titles Instruction to be giuen with meeknesse 2 Tim. 2. 25. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Directions to instruct with meekenesse Contrary harshnesse * Treat 3. §. 43 51 52. 63 64. c. Commandements to be ordered with mildnesse What things he may command his wife What things he may forbid his wife Such things as a wife maketh doubt of not to be pressed vpon her Rom. 14. 23. Of what doubtfull things the commanding power of a gouernour may be a warrant * Treat 4. §. 66. How a wiues refusing to yeeld may be discerned to be on obstinacy or weakenesse * Treat 3. §. 43 44. c. * Treat 3. §. 28. Est 1. 10. Reasons of pressing a coÌ„mandement to be rendred 1. Commanding must be rare 2. Commanding must be by way of intreating Philem. 9. Gen. 12. 13. * Treat 3. §. 47. Husbands ought to reproue a Pro. 15. 31. b 6. 23. c Psal 141. 5. See the fruits of reproofe Treat 3. §. 47. d Gen. 30. 2. e Iob 2. 10. f 2 Sam. 6. 21 22. Leuit. 19. 17. * Treat 3. §. 47 An husbands reproofe must be sweetned with mildnes * §. 44. Matter of reproofe 1. Iust Matth. 18. 15. 1 Tim 5. 19. 2. Weigh y. m Gen. 30. 2. n Iob 2. 10. o 2 Sam. 6. 21 22. Contrary 1. Credulitie 2. Suspicion 3. Rashnesse Luk 4. 23. Mat. 7. 5. Rom. 2. 21. Rom. 2. 1. Gen. 38. 26. 2 Sam. 12. 13. Manner of reprouing 1. Seldome Contrary continuall chiding 2. Reproue mildly Gal 6. 1. 3. Reproue in secret Mat. 18. 15. Direction for reprouing such a wife as regardeth not a secret
honour against them yea though they be children of a former wife §. 59. Of an husbands maintaining his wife against children of a former venter and seruants Obiect Mothers in law often proue vnkinde and vniust stepmothers and deale vnmercifully with their husbands children must an husband in such cases assist his wife against his children Answ The protection I speake of is in case a wife be wronged then her husband is to doe what he can to right her as we speake But if she be the wrong-doer he may by no meanes boulster her vp against his children and so make their wrong the greater Yet so far ought he to respect his wife as by all the faire meanes he can to labour to pacific her minde and turne her heart towards them and if he obserue her heart to be cleane alienated from them then to put them forth to be brought vp in some other place and so to take away from her the obiect of her displeasure that he and she may liue more quietly together For if a man must forsake father and mother he must also forsake children and cleaue to his wife Peace and vnitie betwixt man and wife must of all other be kept inuiolable Though thou cast away all nothing can happen more troublesome to thee then not to haue a quiet wife at home Thou canst finde no sinne more grieuous then to haue contention with a wife If a wife must be maintained against the stubbornnesse of children much more against the insolencie of seruants for which purpose the example of Abraham is recorded whose seruant might haue a priuiledge aboue others because he had made her his bedfellow yet when she waxed insolent against her mistresse first he put her into her mistresses hand to doe to her as it pleased her and afterwards he cast her out of his house §. 60. Of neglecting to maintaine their wiues Contrary is a dissolute carelesnesse of husbands who care no more to helpe and succour their wiues then any other 1. Some more feare to offend their wiues then they care to doe them good and in that respect they let any sort of people come to their wiues that are welcome to them If Magistrates in a Common-wealth shall answer for suffering seducers to come into their dominions to deceiue their people much more shall husbands answer for suffering them to come and deceiue their wiues 1. Because they haue a greater charge ouer their wiues then Magistrates ouer their people 2. Because wiues ought to be dearer to husbands then people to Magistrates 3. Because they may sooner espie them in their house then Magistrates in the Common-wealth 4. Because they may be much more easily kept out of an house then out of a Common-wealth or a Citie 2. Others care not whither their wiues wander and if they doe goe out of their house they shall neuer be sought after by their husbands though this may be a iust punishment on wandring wiues yet is it not iust for husbands so to deale with them If Christ our husband should so deale with vs we should soone be lost for wee oft goe astray like wandring sheepe but hee is that good shepherd who seeketh after the lost sheepe vntill he finde it 3. No maruell then that many husbands are no more affected with the ill reports and rumors raised against their wiues when they so little regard who come to them or whither they goe Assuredly the discredit of a wife will turne to the mans dishonour for as a vertuous wife is a crowne to her husband so by the rule of contraries an infamous wife is a shame to her husband If therefore not for his wiues sake yet for his owne sake a man ought not too carelesly passe ouer the ill reports which are raised against his wife 4. There be such vnkinde husbands as are moued with no ill vsage done vnto their wiues nor will heare any complaint that they make vnto them yea if they see them misused they will either not seeme to see it or but smile at it and so goe their way and suffer their wiues to right themselues as well as they can As this beseemeth not any Christian to suffer his neighbour to be wronged for it is noted as a commendable matter in Moses that when he saw two Hebrewes striuing together he tooke his part that had wrong done to him and reproued the other so much â—esse an husband to whose safe-guard his wife is committed Nature teacheth vs that the head is as much affected with a wrong â—one to the bodie as to it selfe so ought an husband 5. As the wrong which is done by those who are in subiection â—n the house vnder the wife is greater then that which is done by â—trangers so is the husbands fault the greater in suffering it for â—e hath more power ouer them in his house then ouer others What then may we thinke of such as either by their conniuence â—r by taking part against their wiues suffer both children and serâ—ants to insult ouer them Assuredly those husbands themselues will finde some smacke of the bitter and euill fruit thereof â—â—d that not only by that great discontent which their wiues must â—eeds take thereat but also by that contempt which will follow on their owne persons both by their wiues who cannot thinke them meet heads to gouerne others but also by their children and seruants who thereby will take occasion to waxe proud and presumptuous against him By despising the weaker men grow by little and little to despise the stronger This men of wisdome and experience well know whereupon in Common-wealths and Policies gouerned by wise men the authoritie of inferiour Magistrates is vpheld and maintained superiour Magistrates will not suffer them who are in authoritie vnder them to be despised for it is well knowne that it tends not to the honour and ease only but to the safetie also of the supreme Magistrate to haue the power and authoritie of inferiour Magistrates respected and not trampled vnder feet It argueth therefore both want of affection and of discretion and vnderstanding in husbands to suffer childe seruant or any other in the house to insult ouer their wiues who are ioynt gouernours with them ouer the house §. 61. Of an husbands first beginning to loue his wife The generall matter together with the particular kindes of husbands duties being thus farre handled The manner also of performing them is to be deliuered To instruct an husband in the manner of performing his duties to his wife the Apostle laieth downe two patternes 1. Christ vers 25. 2. Our selues vers 28.  As Christ loueth his Church and as we loue our selues so must men loue their wiues That we may the better follow these patternes we must distinctly note how Christ loueth his Church and how we loue our selues The loue of Christ to his Church is commended vnto vs in six seuerall