Satyrical alone SAtyrical I am resolv'd yet being a Criminal how to address my Sute I am in doubt To ask pardon for my faults were to make my faults seem greater than they are to excuse them were to make my judgment seem weaker than I think it is to justifie them were to condemn her Well I will neither ask pardon nor make excuse nor yet justifie them but in plain language declare my pure Affections honest Desires and honourable Requests if she believes the first approves the third and consents to the second I hope to be happy if not I must be content for it is a folly to mourn when it brings no remedy Exit Scene 35. Enter Bon' Esprit Portrait Faction Ambition Superbe Mother Matron FAction The Lady Variety now she is a Widow she tricks and dresses up her self in her Mourning and is more fond of the company of men than we that are Maids Bon' Esprit 'T is a sign she knows by Experience that the Masculine Sex are better and more pleasurable company than any of her own Sex which Maids do not know by reason they are for the most part restrain'd Portrait Why should you find fault with Widows when maried Wives indeavour by all the Arts they can to get the company of men and do strive by inticements to allure them to Courtships as much as Widows or Maids to lawful and honest Mariage Ambition One would think that maried women by their neglect and disrespect to their Husbands they loved not the company of men Superbe They may love the company of men though not the company of one man as their Husbands Matron Come come Ladies Maids are always spiteful to Maried Women because they be preferred in Mariage before them and are jealous of Widows for fear that they should get their Servants and Suters from them Faction I should sooner be jealous of a Widow than spightful to a Maried Wife for most Wives are in a condition to be pity'd rather than envy'd but Widows have such a magnetick power as one Widow will draw away the Servants and Suters from a dozen Maids Bon' Esprit Indeed Widows are very prevalent for a poor widow shall have more Suters and better Choice than a rich Maid and an ill-favour'd Widow than a handsome Maid an old Widow than a young Virgin Ambition I wonder at it Faction Why should you wonder at it since they know the humours weaknesses and strengths of men better than Maids do by which they know how to work and draw them to their bent and design Bon' Esprit No that 's not the Cause Faction What 's the Cause then Bon' Esprit Why men think VVidows wiser than Maids as being more known and experienc'd Portrait Indeed they have more knowledge than Maids or else they have very ill luck Ambition VVhy Maids are more desirous to marry VVidowers than Batchelours Superbe VVhat is the reason of that Bon' Esprit I know not except it be the former reason Faction No no it is because it is said that VVidowers love their second wives better than the first Portrait And what their third wife Faction I suppose Love increaseth with the number Ambition But women 't is said love their first husband better than the second Superbe That 's only an excuse to marry a third and so a fourth Husband Bon' Esprit Indeed Death and Hymen are great friends to VVidows and VVidowers for if once a woman buries her husband or a man his wife they never leave marying and burying until they have had five or six husband and wives Faction If it were always so I would I had been maried and had buried my husband O what a Gossipping life should I have had Gossipping at my husbands Funerals and Gossipping at my Maried Nuptials besides the pleasure of being woo'd Bon' Esprit But you would have more trouble and vexation in the time between your Mariage-day and your Husbands Death than pleasure betwixt your Husbands Death and Mariage-day Faction O no for I suppose if Death be a friend he will take away every Husband as soon as that time is past they call Hony-moneth Enter Monsieur Inquisitive Inquisitive Ladies I will tell you News Portrait What News Inquisitive The young Widow the Lady Variety hath the Small Pox Faction That 's no Newes for all sorts of Diseases are too frequent to be News If they were it would be happy for all animal creatures if diseases were strangers Inquisitive But it is News that she should have them Faction It is in respect of a new face or otherwise not for all mankind in these parts of the World have that disease at one time or other if they live to 't Inquisitive Truly I pity her Ambition I hope she is not in such a condition to be pitied for pity is a kin to scorn as near as Cousin-germans for reproach and shame are brother and sister and scorn is the son of reproach and pity is the daughter of shame But although the Small Pox may set marks of deformity they set none of dishonour they only mark the Body not the Soul and that is only to be accounted shame and to be asham'd of as the infirmities of the Soul for which they may be pitied Inquisitive That deserves scorn Ambition Baseness only deserves scorn and not infirmities loss or misfortunes but there is a difference betwixt infirmities losse misfortunes baseness and wickedness Infirmities proceed directly from Nature Losse from Possession Misfortunes from Interpositions Baseness from that creature called Man and Wickedness from Devils The first is caused by the carelesness of Nature the second by the lack of Power the third by the necessity of Fate the fourth by the corruption of Man the last by the perswasion and temptation of the Devil The first second and third are not to be avoided the fourth not to be practised the fifth not to be followed nor fostered The first is to be pitied the second to be grieved for the third to be lamented for the fourth to be scorned and the fifth to be hated and abhorred Thus we may grieve for the loss of her Beauty but not pity her having no natural defect in the Soul which is the Understanding and the Rational part Inquisitive But Sickness is a natural defect Ambition No Sickness is no more a natural defect than Time or Death Life or Growth for they are only Natural Effects but not Natural Defects Exeunt Scene 36. Enter Madamoiselle Pleasure Wanton Surfet Idle Excess her Maids They all weep ALl speak Pray turn us not out of your Service for one fault Pleasure Why you are the ground wherein all Mischief is sown and whereon all Vice grows besides you are the only Bawds for Adultery Wanton No indeed the chief Bawds to Adultery are publick Meetings of all kinds either Divine Customary Triumphant or Recreative Also Bravery whether Ceremonious Gallantry or Magnificency Likewise Beauty Wit Diligence Observance and rich Presents besides Jealousie and
Satyrical But Mistris what prayer made you for me Bon' Esprit Not a cursing prayer for though Mother Matron would have carried me up to the top of the Hill of Rage and instead of a prayer for you there to have made curses against you yet she could neither force me up the one nor perswade me to the other for I told her I would give a blessing instead of a curse and for fear of that she left persisting Satyrical I perceive I had been in danger had not you sav'd me and like a merciful Godess kept me from their fury but I 'm afraid that for my sake they will curse you now Bon' Esprit No doubt of it but the best of 't is that their cursing prayers or prayers of curses go no farther than their lips Satyrical For all their furious rage self-conceit perswades me that if I had addrest my self as a Suter to any one of them they would have been more merciful than to have deny'd my sute Bon' Esprit I can think no otherwise for I shall judge them by my self Satyrical Pray let 's go and invite them to our Wedding Bon' Esprit By no means for they will take that as ill as if you did indid invite them to a poyson'd Banquet But if I may advise it is not to tell them our Design but let them find it out themselves Satyrical I shall agree to your Counsel Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Mother Matron and her Maid Matron Come come I have watch'd and long'd for your Return above two hours I may say above two years for so the time did seem to me O Venus thou Fair and Amorous Godess send me a comfortable Answer if 't be thy will Maid I have brought you a Letter from Monsieur Frisk but for my part I know not what comfort he hath sent you Matron O Cupid O Cupid be my friend She opens the Letter and reads it aloud The Letter Amorous Mother Matron THough Time hath made you sit for Heaven having worn out your body a substance for Love to work upon converting or translating it all into Soul an incorporeal shadow which none but the Gods can imploy to any use yet since you Esteem and Love me as a God to resign up that incorporality I can do no less than return you thanks although I never did merit such a gift But my sins I confess are many and deserve great punishments yet I hope the Gods will be more merciful than to leave me void of reason or to suffer Nature to make me to have extravagant appetites or Heaven to leave me to extravagant appetites but howsoever as occasions fall out I shall shew reverence to your Motherly Gravitie and in the mean time rest Your Admirer FRISK Matron I know not by this Letter whether he will be my Lover or not yet I will kiss it for his sake She kisses the Letter O sweet Letter thou happy Paper that hast receiv'd the pressure of this hand What did he say when he gave you this letter to bring me Maid He talk'd of Pluto and of Hell Matron How of Hell Maid Yes but it was concerning AEneas and Dido Mother Matron fetches a great sigh Matron I hope he will not make me such an Example as Queen Dido nor himself so false a Lover as AEneas but if he should I will cry out O thou my cruel AEneas hast slain me Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Superbe Portrait Faction and Pleasure FAction Now I have seen Madamoiselle la Belle I perceive Fame gives more praise than Nature Beauty Superbe To some she doth Portrait Nay faith for the most part to all Enter Monsieur Sensuality Sensuality O Ladies there is the greatest loss befallen me that ever befell man Portrait What loss Sensuality Why Madamoiselle la Belle is gone Pleasure How gone Is she maried or dead Sensuality Faith she 's as bad as dead to me and worse than if she were maried for if she were a Wife there would be some hopes but her careful Father hath carry'd her away into the Country being jealous of the much company that came to visit her Faction It seems he knew she was apt to be catch'd that he durst not trust her But how came you to receive a greater loss than the rest of the Masculine Visiters Sensuality Because I had greater hopes than I perceive the rest had Portrait Why had you a design to get her for a Wife Sensuality No faith mine was a better design which was to get her for a Mistris Superbe But it was likely she would never have been your Mistris Sensuality It was likely she would have been my Mistris for she was fair and foolish kind and toyish and had an inviting Eye Pleasure Why you may follow her into the Country Sensuality No the City is so well stored as I shall not need to put my self to that trouble as to journey after her Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Mother Matron alone Matron O Love thou tormenter of soft hearts or a melter of hard ones soften the hard heart of Monsieur Frisk and ease my soft and tender heart inflame his spirits to love and refresh mine with his kindness O Venus perswade thy Son in my behalf and consider me by thy self Ha ho Exit Scene 17. Enter Temparance Faction Portrait Pleasure Ambition and Superbe TEmperance I would never have an extraordinary Beauty seen but once and that should be in a publick Assembly Pleasure It is a sign Temperance your beauty is past for would you have an extraordinary Beauty to be buried in oblivion Temperance No for I would have all the World see if it could be shewn to the whole World but I would have it shewn but once and no more Superbe Why so Temperance Because what is common is never highly priz'd but rather despis'd or at least neglected by continuance for that which is at first admir'd as a wonder when it comes to be as domestick is not regarded for it is an old saying That the greatest wonder lasts but nine days Portrait But there is such a sympathy betwixt beauty and sight that as long as beauty doth last sight will take delight to look thereon and the Design End or Fruition of Beauty is to be gaz'd upon for from the sight it receives Praise Love and Desire and by reflection sets all hearts on fire Faction O that I had such a Beauty as would burn every Masculine heart into cinders Temperance Why are you so cruel Lady to wish such a wish to the Masculine Sex Faction My wish proceeds out of love to my self and mercy to men First out of love to my self for as I am a woman I naturally desire Beauty and there is no woman that had not rather have beauty although attended with an unfortunate life than be ill-savour'd to enjoy prosperity The last wish is out of mercy to men for their hearts are so false and foul as no way but burning can purifie them Ambition That were
and if it be thorough Jealous mistrust of their Fame it were poor for us to submit and quit that unto men that men will not unto us for Fame makes us like the Gods to live for ever besides those women that have staid at home will laugh at us in our return and their effeminate Lovers and Carpet Knights that Cowardly and Luxuriously Coin excuses to keep and stay them from the Wars will make Lampons of us for them to sing of our disgrace saying our Husbands Lovers and Friends were so weary of us as they were forced to take that pretence of affectionate love to be rid of our Companyes wherefore if you will take my advise let us return and force those that sent us away to consent that we shall be partakers with them and either win them by perswasions or lose our selves by breaking their decrees for it were better we should dy by their angry frowns than by the Tongue of Infamy All the women call to her All the women Let us return let us return Lady Victoria waves her hand to them to keep silence Lady Victoria Noble Heroickesses I am glad to hear you speak all as with one voice and Tongue which shows your minds are joyned together as in one piece without seam or rent but let us not return unfit to do them service so we may cause their ruin by obstruction which will wound us more than can their anger wherefore let us strive by our industry to render our selves usefull to their service All the women Propound the way and set the Rules and we will walk in the one and keep strictly to the other Lady Victoria Then thus we have a Body of about five or six thousand women which came along with some thirty thousand men but since we came we are not only thought unusefull but troublesome which is the reason we were sent away for the Masculine Sex is of an opinion we are only fit to breed and bring forth Children but otherwise a trouble in a Common-wealth for though we encrease the Common-wealth by our breed we encomber it by our weakness as they think as by our incapacities as having no ingenuity for Inventions nor subtill wit for Politicians nor prudence for direction nor industry for execution nor patience for opportunity nor judgment for Counsellers nor secrecy for trust nor method to keep peace nor courage to make War nor strength to defend our selves or Country or to assault an Enemy also that we have not the wisdome to govern a Common-wealth and that we are too partial to sit in the Seat of Justice and too pittifull to execute rigorous Authority when it is needfull and the reason of these erronious opinions of the Masculine Sex to the Effeminate is that our Bodyes seem weak being delicate and beautifull and our minds seem fearfull being compassionate and gentle natured but if we were both weak and fearfull as they imagine us to be yet custome which is a second Nature will encourage the one and strengthen the other and had our educations been answerable to theirs we might have proved as good Souldiers and Privy Counsellers Rulers and Commanders Navigators and Architectors and as learned Sholars both in Arts and Sciences as men are for Time and Custome is the Father and Mother of Strength and Knowledge they make all things easy and facil clear and prospitious they bring acquaintance and make friendship of every thing they make Courage and Fear Strength and Weakness Difficulty and Facility Dangers and Securities Labours and Recreations Life and Death all to take and shake as it were hands together wherefore if we would but accustome our selves we may do such actions as may gain us such a reputation as men might change their opinions insomuch as to believe we are fit to be Copartners in their Governments and to help to rule the World where now we are kept as Slaves forced to obey wherefore let us make our selves free either by force merit or love and in order let us practise and endeavour and take that which Fortune shall profer unto us let us practise I say and make these Fields as Schools of Martial Arts and Sciences so shall we become learned in their disciplines of War and if you please to make me your Tutoress and so your Generalless I shall take the power and command from your election and Authority otherwise I shall most willingly humbly and obediently submit to those whom you shall choose All the women You shall be our Generalless our Instructeress Ruler and Commanderess and we will every one in particular swear to obey all your Commands to submit and yield to your punishments to strive and endeavour to merit your rewards Lady Victoria Then worthy Heroickesses give me leave to set the Laws and Rules I would have you keep and observe in a brass Tablet All the women We agree and consent to whatsoever you please Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Lady Jantil alone MAdam Iantil. How painfull is true love absented from what is loved 't is strange that that which pleaseth most should be the greatest torment Enter Madam Passionate Madam Passionate What all times walking by your self alone when your Lord returns I will complain and tell him what dull Company you are Madam Iantil. I hope I shall not be from him so long for he promised to send for me Madam Passionate Nay faith when you go as old as I am I will travell with you to see my Husband too Madam Iantil. You will be so much the more welcome by how much you were unexpected Madam Passionate You look pale on the sudden are not you well Madam Iantil. Yes onely on a sudden I had a chill of cold that seized on my Spirits Madam Passionate Beshrew me their coldness hath nipt the blood out of your Cheeks and Lips Madam Iantil. If they had been painted they would have kept their Colour Exeunt ACT III Scene 11. Enter the Lady Victoria with a great Company of Women after a Table of Brass carried before her she stands upon the heap of Turfs and another Woman that carried the Table wherein the Laws and Rules are inscribed she bids her read them REader Noble Heroicks these are the Laws our Generalless hath caused to be inscribed and read for every one to observe and keep First Be it known observed and practised that no woman that is able to bear Arms shall go unarmed having Arms to wear but shall wear them at all times but when they put them off to change their linnen they shall Sleep Eat and Rest and march with them on their Bodies Lady Victoria Give me leave Noble Heroicks to declare the reason of this Law or Command as to wear an Iron or Steel Habit and to be so constantly worn is that your Arms should not feel heavy or be troublesome or painfull for want of use as they will be when you shall have an occasion to put them on and certainly for want
in a bashfull Countenance and if to tremble for fear to describe the fear as being the Nature of the Sex also to describe their Behaviour after a Noble Garb and their answers to their Suters to be full of Reason Sense and Truth and those answers to be delivered in as short discourses and as few words as Civility will allow of and not like an ignorant innocent a childish simplicity an unbred Behaviour expressing themselves or answering their Suters with mincing words that have neither Sense nor Reason in them Also Poetical and Romantical VVriters should not make great Princes that have been bred in great and populous Cities glorious Camps and splendrous Courts to woo and make Love like private bred men or like rude bred Clowns or like mean bred Servants or like Scholars that woo by the Book in Scholastical Terms or Phrases or to woo like flanting ranting swearing bragging Swaggerers or Rusters or to woo a Country wench like as a Noble Lady or great Princesse Also not to make such women as have been bred and born Nobly and Honourably to receive the Courtship of great Persons like a Dairy-maid Kitchin-maid or like such as have been bred in mean Cottages as to behave themselves simply or rudely as to the answer and speak Crossingly or Thwartingly as contradicting every word that is spoken unto them as if they did believe what they said was not truth for Civil and Honourable bred women who have Noble and Generous Souls will rather seem to believe all their Superlative Praises than make Doubts as if they knew they lyed for to make Doubts is in the mid-way to give the Lye Matron Lady how approve you of those Lovers that kisse the Letters Tokens Pledges and the like that are sent unto them from their Lovers or such as wear Letters Tokens or Pledges in their Bosomes and next their Heart and take them and view them a hundred times a day Lady Speaker Approve it say you you mean disapprove it but let me tell you most Reverend Matron that the very hearing of it makes the sick and the seeing of it would make me die I have so great an Aversion against such actions for those actions like as whining Speeches proceed from filthy Amorous Love and Mean Lovers for true Love in Noble Persons receives gifts as an expression of their Suters or Lovers Loves and will carefully keep them as an acknowledgment of the receipt and accept of them as a great Seal to their affections yet they keep such Presents but as Treasurers not as Owners untill they be man and wife neither do they make Idols of such gifts nor do they adore the Owner the more for the gift nor the gist for the Owner nor do they think fit they ought to give such outward expressions of Love by such uselesse actions when as they have a high esteem of their Suters Love a perfect belief of their Merit and a constant return of their affection and a resolution to dye or suffer any misery for their sakes if need required besides true Lovers have ever the Idea of their beloved in their Thoughts by which they cannot forget their Memory indeed Love-letters they may read often because Letters are an injoyment of their discourse although their persons be at a distance and are also a recreation and delight in their Wits if there be any Wit therein but to kisse the Paper they neither find pleasure delight non profit neither to themselves nor to their Beloved the truth is not one Writer amongst a thousand make Lovers woo either wisely wittily nobly eloquently or naturally but either foolishly meanly unmanly unhandsomely or amorously which is corruptly Matron Lady you say very true and some Romantical Writers make long and tedious Orations or long and tedious and fruitless discourse in such times as requires sudden action Lady Speaker You say right as to speak when they are to fight but for my part I hate to read Romances or some Scenes in Plays whose ground or Foundation is Amorous Love Matron VVhen you read such Books you must never consider the Subject that the VVriter writes on but consider the Wit Language Fancy or Description 2 Matron Most Reverend Sister I suppose few read Romances or the like Books but for the Wit Fancy Judgement and lively Descriptions for they do not read such Books as they do read Chronicles wherein is only to be considered the true Relation of the History Lady Speaker Most Grave and VVife Matronesse I believe though none read Romances or such like Books whose ground is feigned Love and Lovers as they read Chronicles whose ground should be unfeigned Truth yet certainly few read Romances or the like Books either for the Wit Fancy Judgement or Descriptions but to feed their Amorous Humours on their Amorous Discourses and to tune their Voice to their Amorous Strains of Amorous Love for it is to be observed that those Books that are most Amorously penned are most often read Exeunt Scene the last Enter the Academical Gentlemen to them enters a Servant MAn Servant May it please your Worships there is an Antient Gentlewoman that desires to speak with your VVorships 1 Gent. I lay my life it is one of the Matrons of the Academy 2 Gent. Faith if the Humble Bee is flown out the rest of the Bees will follow 3 Gent. I fear if they do they will swarm about our Ears 4 Gent. Yes and sting us with their Tongues 5 Gent. Let us send for her in 6 Gent. I will go and Usher her in He goes out Enters with the Matron All the Gentlemen pull off their Hats Matron Gentlemen the Ladies of the Academy have sent me unto you to know the Reason or Cause that you will not let them rest in quiet or suffer them to live in peace but disturb them in both by a confused noise of Trumpets which you uncivilly and discourteously blow at their Grate and Gates 1 Gent. The cause is that they will not permit us to come into their Company but have barricadoed their Gats against us and have incloystred themselves from us besides it is a dangerous example for all the rest of their Sex for if all women should take a toy in their heads to incloyster themselves there would be none left out to breed on Matron Surely it is very fit and proper that young Virgins should live a retired life both for their Education and Reputation 2 Gent. As for their Education it is but to learn to talk and women can do that without teaching for on my Conscience a woman was the first inventer of Speech and as for their Retirement Nature did never make them for that purpose but to associate themselves with men and since men are the chief Head of their kind it were a sign they had but very little Brain if they would suffer the youngest and fairest women to incloyster themselves Matron Gentlemen pray give me leave to inform you for I perceive you are in great Error of mistake for these Ladies have not vowed Virginity or are they incloystred for an Academy is not a Cloyster but a School wherein are taught how to be good Wives when they are married 3 Gent. But no man can come to woo them to be Wives Matron No but if they can win their Parents or those they are left in trust with and get their good liking and consent the young Ladies have learn'd so much Duty and Obedience as to obey to what they shall think fit 4 Gent. But we desire the Ladies good liking we care not for their Friends for the approvment and good liking of their Friends without the Love of the Ladies will not make us happy for there is no satisfaction in a secondary Love as to be beloved for anothers sake and not for their own Matron If you be Worthy Gentlemen as I believe you all are their Love will be due to your Merits and your Merits will perswade them to love you All the Gentlemen Well if you will be our Mediator we will surcease our Clamour otherwise we will increase our noise Matron If you can get leave of their Parents and Friends I will endeavour to serve you and shall be proud of the imployment that you shall be pleased to impose to my trust and management Gentlemen And we shall be your Servants for your favours They all go out with the Gentlemen waiting on her with their Hats in their hands Scraping and Congying to her FINIS
is the truth of it Sir Roger Exception Pray Madam let us go and not stay to anger this young Lady as we do Lady Wagtaile Farewell friend Sir Humphry Bold and I will visit your Lady to morrow As they were all going away the Lady Wagtaile turnes back again Lady Wagtaile Pray what may I call your name Reformer My name is Reformer Lady Wagtaile Good Mrs. Reformer I am heartily glad to see you well Reformer I thank you Ladyship All goeth away but Sir Serious Dumb and he stayes a little time to look upon the Lady Bashfull and then goeth out Ex. The Lady Bashfull Sola and after they were all gone she stretches up herself Lady Bashfull O in what a torment I have been in holl is not like it Exit Scene 5. Enter the Lady Orphant and Mrs. Acquaintance LAdy Orphant Have you got the Picture Mrs. Acquaintance Yes but I have seen handsomer men in my opinion than this Picture doth represent The Lady Orphant takes the Picture and views it with a stedfast eye Lady Orphant I perceive you have no judgment in the Originall nor skill in the Copy for this Picture is most naturally penselled the Painter hath drawn it so lively That one may perceive his noble Soul to appear through his lovely and lively Countenance do but observe it well and you will see as much as I Mrs. Acquaintance That is impossible unless I had your heart for though my skill of the Copy or shadow may be as much as yours yet my affections to the Originall is less which makes my eyes not partiall Lady Orphant What will the owner take for that Picture Mrs. Acquaintance She will not sell it at any rate Lady Orphant I wish she would for I would buy it at any price Mrs. Acquaintance She prizes it as highly as you loving him as much or well as you do Lady Orphant How know you that Mrs. Acquaintance Because I know she hath given him proofs of her love which I believe you never did Lady Orphant You mistake lust for love ambition for merit I love not for the bodyes sake but for the soules pure spirit Ex. ACT II. Scene 6. Enter two Merchants 1. MErchant I hear the Lord Singularity hath given the Turkes a great defeat he is both a wise prudent and valiant man 2. Merchant Methinkes our Nation should not suffer such a person as he to hazard his life in the service of other Countryes 1. Merchant O it is an honour to our Nation to let the world know what gallant men it breeds besides our Nation is in peace with all the world and he being active hates to live idly and dully at home although he have a great estate and is well beloved in his Country 2. Merchant What command doth the Venetians give him 1. Merchant He is a Generall for he commands a great Army 2. Merchant Is he marryed 1. Merchant No and it is reported he never will marry but he loves Mistrisses well which all Souldiers doth for the most part 2. Merchant Then Italy is the best Countrey in the world for a souldier there being the greatest store and most variety of Curtezans for many of the Italians are as many are in other Nations rather Carpet-Knights then fighting souldiers they have more skill in setting musicall notes than pitching a battle in kissing a Mistrisses hand with a good grace than shooting of a Cannon bullet with a great courage they can take better aime at a window than of an enemy And though they often receive woundes yet they are from fair Venus not from cruell Mars 1. Merchant But Mars souldiers when they skirmish in loves duels receives woundes as often from fair Venus as other men and Italy hath as many gallant valliant men bred and born in her as any other Nation and there are as many Carpet-Knights in other Nations as in Italy and if valiant and gallant men be indued with vertue they are not the less to be esteemed and as for Curtizans all Nations is stored as much as Italy but they do not so openly prefess it as those in Italy doth 2. Merchant For my part I cannot think they are so good Souldiers as they were in Caesars time 1. Merchant That may be for there is no such souldiers as Caesars souldiers were no not in the world that is there are no men so patient obedient carefull industrious laborious daring adventurous resolute and active in these Warrs in this age as the Romans were in Caesars time and of all the souldiers Caesars souldiers were the best and of all commanders Caesar himself yet those warriers was not less courtly to the feminine sex than these of this age and if you did talk with an understanding Souldier he would tell you that Amors gave an edge to courage and that it is a mark of a gallant man and a brave souldier to be an Amarato and as for the Curtizans of Italy if there can be an honest act in a dishonest life it is that the Curtizans in Italy professes what they are so that men are not deceived by them nor betrayed into marriage wherein other Nations men are cozened with counterfeit modesty and drawn into marriage by pretended chastity and then dishonoured by soul adultery or shamed by marrying a private Curtizan not knowing she was so 2. Merchant I perceive by thee that Merchants loves a Mistris as well as a Souldier 1. Merchant Surely by thy talk thou art ignorant of thy own profession which is to trade and traffick into all Nations and with all sorts but yet Merchants may be Souldiers if they will and Souldiers may be Merchants if they please but the truth is all men in the world are Merchants 2. Merchant No beggers are not 1. Merchant But they are for they traffick with prayers and praises for almes 2. Merchant The best Merchants I know are Priests for they trade into Heaven and traffick with Iove 1. Merchant That makes them so poor for heavens commoditie are not saleable on earth Ex. Scene 7. Enter the Lady Orphant Nurse Fondly Foster Trusty LAdy Orphant Dear Nurse and Foster Father grant to my desires and assist my designs Nurse Fondly What to let you wander about the world like a Vagabond besides it is against the modesty of your Sex Lady Orphant Are holy Pilgrimes Vagabonds or is it immodest for the bodies of devout soules to travell to the sacred Tombe to offer penetentiall tears Nurse Fondly Why you are no Pilgrime nor is your journey to a godly end Lady Orphant My journey will be to an honest end for though I am loves Pilgrime yet I shall travell to an honest heart there to offer my pure affections Nurse Fondly To a deboist man there to offer your Virginity Lady Orphant Mistake me not for though I love beyond a common rate even to an extream degree yet I am chastly honest and so shall ever be my grave shall witness my constancy The Lady Orphant weeping Ex. Foster
be not so cruel to me as to lay my Wives indisposition to my charge Lady Wagtaile But we will and we will draw up an Accusation against you unless you confess and ask pardon Sir P. Studious Will you accuse me without a Witness Lady Wagtail Yes and condemne you too Sir P. Studious That were unjust if Ladies could be unjust Lady Amorous O Madam we have a witness her blushing is a sufficient witness to accuse him Besides her melancholly silence will help to condemn him Lady Ignorance Pardon me Ladies for when any of our Sex are offended or angered whether they have cause or not they will rail louder than Ioves thunder Lady Amorous So will you in time Lady Wagtail Let us jumble her abroad Come Madam we will put you out of your dull humour Lady Ignorance No Madam Pray excuse me to day in truth I am not well Lady Amorous No let us let my Lady alone but let us take her Husband and tutour him Sir P. Studious Ladies give me leave to praise my self and let my self and let me tell you I am as apt a Scholar as ever you met with and as willing to learn Lady Amorous Farewell Madam we will order Sir P. Studious and try what disposition he is of and how apt to be instructed Lady Ignorance Pray do Madam he promiseth well Ex. Scene 16 Enter Foster Trusty and the Lady Orphant LAdy Orphant Now we are come into the Armie how shall we demean our selves like poor Beggers Foster Trusty By no means for though you beg well yet you will never get what you come for with begging for there is an old saying that although all charity is love yet all love is not charity Lady Orphant It were the greatest charity in the World for him to love me for without his love I shall be more miserable than poverty can make me Foster Trusty But poverty is so scorned and hated that no person is accepted which she presents Nay poverty is shunn'd more than the Plague Lady Orphant Why it is not infectious Foster Trusty Yes faith for the relieving of necessity is the way to be impoverished Lady Orph. But their rewards are the greater in Heaven Foster Trusty 'T is true but their Estates are less on earth Lady Orphant But blessings are more to be desired than wealth Foster Trusty Well Heaven bless us and send us such fortune that our long journey may prove successfull and not profitless and because Heaven never gives blessings unless we use a prudent industry you shall put your self into good clothes and I will mix my self with his followers and servants and tell them as I may truely that you are my Son for no mans Son but mine you are was so importunate as you would never let me rest until I brought you to see the Lord Singularity and they will tell him to let him know his fame is such as even young children adore him taking a Pilgrimage to see him and he out of a vain-glory will desire to see you Lady Orphant But what advantage shall I get by that Enter the Lord Singularity and many Commanders attending him Foster Trusty Peace here is the General Commander The enemie is so beaten as now they will give us some time to breath our selves General They are more out of breath than we are but the States are generous enemies if they give them leave to fetch their wind and gather strength again Lady Orphant Father stand you by and let me speak She goeth to the General and speaks to him Heaven bless your Excellencie Lord General From whence comest thou boy Lord Orph. From your native Countrey General Cam'st thou lately Lady Orph. I am newly arrived General Pray how is my Countrey and Countrey-men live they still in happy peace and flourishing with plenty Lady Orph. There is no noise of war or fear of famine General Pray Iove continue it Lady Orphant It is likely so to continue unless their pride and luxurie be gets a factious childe that is born with war and fed with ruine General Do you know what faction is Lady Orph. There is no man that lives and feels it not the very thoughts are factious in the mind and in Rebellious passions arises warring against the soul General Thou canst not speak thus by experience boy thou art too young not yet a mans Estate Lady Orphant But children have thoughts and said to have a rational soul as much as those that are grown up to men but if souls grow as bodies doth and thoughts increases with their years then may the wars within the mind be like to School-boys quarrels that falls out for a toy and for a roy are friends General Thou speakest like a Tutour what boyish thoughts so ever thou hast but tell me boy what mad'st thee travel so great a journey Lady Orph. For to see you General To see me boy Lady Orph. Yes to see you Sir for the Trumpet of your praise did sound so loud it struck my ears broke open my heart and let desire forth which restless grew until I travelled hither General I wish I had merits to equal thy weary steps or means for to reward them Lady Orph. Your presence hath sufficiently rewarded me General Could I do thee my service boy Lady Orph. A bounteous favour you might do me Sir General What is that boy Lady Orph. To let me serve you Sir General I should be ingratefull to refuse thee chose thy place Lady Orph. Your Page Sir if you please General I accept of thee most willingly Captain But Sir may not this boy be a lying couzening flattering dissembling treacherous boy General Why Captain there is no man that keeps many servants but some are lyers and some treacherous and all flatterers and a Master receives as much injurie from each particular as if they were joyned in one Lady Orph. I can bring none that will witness for my truth or be bound for my honesty but my own words General I desire none boy for thy tongue sounds so sweetly and thy face looks so honestly as I cannot but take and trust thee Lady Orph. Heaven bless your Excellence and fortune prosper you for your bounty hath been above my hopes and equal to my wishes General VVhat is thy name Lady Orph. Affectionata my Noble Lord General Then follow me Affectionata Ex. ACT IV. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her woman Enter Page PAge Madam there was a Gentleman gave me this Letter to deliver to your Ladyships hands Lady Bashfull A Letter I pray Reformer open it and read it for I will not receive Letters privately Page Exit Reformer The superscription is for the Right Honourable the Lady Bashfull these present The Letter MADAM Since I have had the honour to see you I have had the unhappiness to think my self miserable by reason I am deprived of speech that should plead my suit but if an affectionate soul chaste thoughts lawfull desires and a fervent heart can
Doctor help may be found in giving directions and ordering the cordial Doctor So I understand you would have my counsel what you should do and my industry to order and get a meeting between Monsieur Discretion and you and to make the match betwixt you Volante You understand me right Doctor VVell I will study the means and trye if I can procure thee a man Volante Good fortune be your guide Doctor And Monsieur Discretion your Husband Ex. Scene 41. Enter Madamosel Caprisia alone CApris. Thoughts be at rest for since my love is honest and the person I love worthy I may love honourably for he is not only learned with study experienced with time and practice but he is natures favourite she hath endued his soul with uncontrouled reason his mind with noble thoughts his heart with heroick generosity and his brain with a supream wit Besides she hath presented his judgement and understanding with such a clear Prospective-glasse of speculations and such a Multiplying-glass of conception as he seeth farther and discerns more into natures works than any man she hath made before him She slops a little time then speaks But let me consider I have us'd this worthy Gentleman uncivilly nay rudely I have dispised him wherefore he cannot love me for nature abhors neglect and if he cannot love me in honesty he ought not to marry me and if I be not his wife for certain I shall dye for love or live a most unhappy life which is far worse than death Hay ho Enter Madam la Mere her Mother Mere What Daughter sick with love Capris. O Mother love is a Tyrant which never lets the mind be at rest and the thoughts are the torments and when the mind is tormented the body is seldom in health Mere Well to ease you I will go to this Lord Generosity and pray him to give you a visit Capris. By no means Mother for I had rather dye with love than live to be despised with scorn for he will refuse your desires or if he should come it would be but to express his hate or proudly triumph on my unhappy state Madamosel Caprisia goes out Madamosel Mere alone Mere She is most desperately in love but I will endeavour to settle her mind Ex. Scene 42. Enter Doctor Freedom and Madamosel Volante DOctor Am not I a good Doctor now that hath got you a good Husband Volante Nay Doctor he is but a Suiter as yet Doctor Why do not you woe upon the Stage as the rest of your Comorades doth Volante O fye Doctor Discretion never whines our love in publick Doctor So you love to be in private Volante Why Doctor the purest love is most conceal'd it lyes in the heart and it warms it self by its own fire Doctor Take heed for if you keep it too tenderly and close it may chance to catch cold when it comes abroad Volante True love ought to keep home and not to gossip abroad Enter a Servant-maid Servant-maid Madam Monsieur Discretion is come to visit you Volante Come Doctor be a witnesse of our contract Doctor I had rather stay with your maid Volante She hath not wit to entertain you Doctor Nor none to anger me Volante Pray come away for no wise man is angry with wit Doctor I perceive if I do not go with you that you will call me fool Ex. Scene 43. Enter Monsieur Comorade and Monsieur Bon Compaignon BOn Compaignon Comorade what cause makes you so fine to day Comorade I am going to two weddings to day Bon Compaignon Faith one had been enough but how can you divide yourself betwixt two Bridals Comorade I shall not need to divide my self since the Bridals keeps together for they are marryed both in one Church and by one Priest and they feast in one house Bon Compaignon And will they lye in one bed Comorade No surely they will have two beds for fear each Bride-groom should mistake his Bride Bon Compaignon VVell I wish the Bride-grooms and their Brides joy and their Guests good chear Comorade VVill not you be one of the Guests Bon Compaignon No for a Bon Compaignon shuns Hymens Court neither will Hymen entertain him But who are the Brides and Bride-grooms Comorade Monsieur Nobilissimo and Madamosel Doltche and Monsieur Perfection and Madamosel Solid Bon Compaignon Is Monsieur Profession a Guest there Comorade No for he swears now that he hates marriage as he hates death Bon Compaignon But he loves a Mistress as he loves life Ex. Scene 44. Enter Monsieur Generosity and Madamosel Caprisia he following her GEnerosity Lady why do you shun my company in going from me praystay and give my visit a civil entertainment for though I am not worthy of your affection yet my love deserves you civility Capris. I know you are come to laugh at me which is ignobly done for heroick generous spirits doth not triumph on the weak effeminate Sex Generosity Pray believe I am a Gentleman for if I loved you not yet I would never be rude to be uncivil to you or your Sex But I love you so well as when I leave to serve you with my life may nature leave to nourish me fortune leave to favour me and Heaven leave to blesse me and then let death cast me into Hell there to be tormented Capris. I am more obliged to your generous affections than to my own merits Generosity The ill opinion of your self doth not lessen your vertues and if you think me worthy to be your Husband and will agree we will go strait to Church and be marryed Capri. I shall not refuse you Ex. FINIS PROLOGUE THE Poetress sayes that if the Play be bad She 's very sorry and could wish she had A better plot more wit and skill to make A Play that might each several humour take But she sayes if your humours are not fixt Or that they are extravagantly mixt Impossible a Play for to present With such variety and temperiment But some will think it tedious or find fault Say the Design or Language is stark naught Besides the loose unsetled brains she fears Seeth with squint eyes and hears with Asses ears But she is confident all in this round Their understandings clear and judgements sound And if her Play deserves not praise she knows They 'l neither scoff in words nor preposterous shows Without disturbance you will let it dye And in the Grave of silence let it lye Youths Glory and Deaths Banquet THE FIRST PART 1. THe Lord de L'amour 2. Sir Thomas Father Love 3. Master Comfort Sir Thomas Father Loves Friend 4. Master Charity the Lord de L'amours Friend 5. Adviser the Lord de L'amours man 6. A Iustice of Peace 1. The Queen Attention 2. The Lady Incontinent Mistriss to the Lord de L'amour 3. The Lady Mother Love wife to Sir Thomas Father Love 4. The Lady Sanparelle daughter to Sir Thomas Father and Lady Mother Love 5. The Lady Innocence the affianced Mistriss
none Company but Cowards and Fools and slothful conscientious Persons neither is she usefull but for indifferent imployments for what is of extraordinary worth Patience doth but disgrace it not set it forth for that which is transcendent and Supreme Patience cannot reach Wherefore give me Fury for what it cannot raise to Heaven it throwes it straight to Hell were you never there Friend No nor I hope shall never come there Father Love Why Sir I was there all the last Night and there I was tortured for chiding my Daughter two or three times whilst she lived once because she went in the Sun without her Mask another time because her Gloves were in her Pocket when they should have been on her Hands and another time because she slep'd when she should have studied and then I remember she wept O! O! those pretious tears Devil that I was to grieve her sweet Nature harmless Thoughts and Innocent Soul O how I hate my self for being so unnaturally kind O kill me and rid be of my painful life Friend He is much distracted Heaven cure him Exeunt Scene 18. Enter two Gentlemen 1. Gentleman The Miracle is deceas'd the Lady Sanspareile I hear is dead 2. Gent. Yes and it 's reported her Statue shall be set up in every College and in the most publick places in the City at the publick charge and the Queen will build a Sumptuous and Glorious Tomb on her sleeping Ashes 1. Gent. She deserves more than can be given her 2. Gent. I hear her death hath made her Father mad 1. Gent. Though her death hath not made every one mad like her Father yet it hath made every one melancholy for I never saw so general a sadness in my life 2. Gent. There is nothing moves the mind to sadnesse more than when Death devours Youth Beauty Wit and Virtue all at once Ex. Scene 19. There is a Hearse placed upon the Stage covered with black a Garland of Ciprus at the head of the Herse and a Garland of Mirtle at one side and a Basket of Flowers on the other Enter the Lady Innocence alone drest in White and her hair hound up in several coloured Ribbons when she first comes in speaks thus LAdy Innocence O Nature thou hast created bodies and minds subject to pains torments yet thou hast made death to release them for though Death hath power over Life yet Life can command Death when it will for Death dares not stay when Life would passe away Death is the Ferry-man and Life the waftage She kneels down and prayeth But here great Nature I do pray to thee Though I call Death let him not cruel be Great Jove I pray when in cold earth I lye Let it be known how innocent I die Then she rises and directs her self to her Herse Here in the midst my sadder Hearse I see Covered with black though my chief Mourners be Yet I am white as innocent as day As pure as spotlesse Lillies born in May My loose and flowing hair with Ribbons ty'd To make Death Amorous of me now his Bride Watchet for truth hair-colour for despair And white as innocent as purest Ayre Scarlet for cruelty to stop my breath Darkning of Nature black a type of death Then she takes up the Basket of Flowers and as she strews them speaks Roses and Lillies 'bout my Coffin strew Primroses Pinks Violets fresh and new And though in deaths cold arms anon I lye weeps I 'le weep a showr of tears these may not dye A Ciprus Garland here is for my head To crown me Queen of Innocence when dead A Mirtle Garland on the left side plac't To shew I was a Lover pure chast Now all my saddest Rites being thus about me And I have not one wish that is without me She placeth her self on her Herse with a Dagger or pointed knife in her hand Here on this Herse I mount the Throne of death Peace crown my soul my body rest on earth Yet before I dye Like to a Swan I will sing my Elegie She sings as she is sitting on the Herse thus Life is a trouble at the best And in it we can find no rest Ioyes still with sorrows they are Crown'd No quietnesse till in the ground Man vexes man still we do find He is the torture of his kind False man I scorn thee in my grave Death come I call thee as my slave Here ends my Lords Writing And just then stabs her self In the mean time the Lord de l'Amour comes and peeps through the Curtain or Hanging and speaks as to himself whilst she is a dying Lord de l'Amour I will observe how she passes away her time when she is alone Lady Innocence Great Iove grant that the light of Truth may not be put out with the extinguisher of Malice Lord de l'Amour How she feeds her melancholy He enters and goeth to her What are you acting a melancholy Play by your self alone Lady Innocence My part is almost done Lord de l'Amour By Heaven she hath stabb'd her self Calls Help Help Lady Innocence Call not for help life is gone so farr t is past recovery wherefore stay and hear my last words I die as judging it unworthy to out-live my honest Name and honourable Reputation As for my accusers I can easily forgive them because they are below my Hate or Anger neither are worthy my revenge But you for whom I had not only a devout but an Idolatrous Affection which offered with a zealous Piety and pure Flame the sincerity of my heart But you instead of rewarding my Love was cruel to my life and Honour for which my soul did mourn under a Veil of sadnesse and my thoughts covered with discontent sate weeping by But those mourning Thoughts I have cast off cloathing my self with Deaths pale Garments As for my pure Reputation and white Simplicity that is spotted with black Infamy by Hellish slander I have laid them at Heavens Gates just Gods to scoure them clean that all the World may know how innocent I have been But Oh! farewel my fleeting Spirits pure Angels bear away Lord de l'Amour O speak at the last Are you guilty or not Lady Innocence I am no more guilty of those crimes laid to my charge than Heaven is of sin O Gods receive me Oh! Oh! Dies Lord de l'Amour Great Patience assist me Heart hold life in Till I can find who is guilty of this sinn Ex. The Herse drawn off the Stage Scene 20. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love brought in a Chair as sick his Friend by him Mr. Comfort Friend How are you now Father Love O Friend I shall now be well Heaven hath pitty on me and will release me soon and if my Daughter be not buryed I would have her kept as long out of the Grave as she can be kept that I might bear her company Friend She cannot be kept longer because she was not unbowelled Father Love Who speaks her
like a disorder'd multitude only the one offends the ear as the other offends the eyes and there can be no pleasure but in harmony which harmony is Quantity Quality Symmetry and Unity and though quality quantity and symmetry are brought by the Senses yet Unity is made in the mind Thus Harmony lives in the minde for without the minde the senses could take no delight Exeunt ACT II. Scene 7. Enter the Lady Ward and Doctor Practice DOctor Practice How do you Lady Lady Ward Why very well Doctor how do you Doctor Prac. Why I was sent as being believed you are mad Lady Ward Troth Doctor that 's no wonder for all the world is mad more or less Doctor Prac. Do you finde any distemper in your head Lady Ward My head will ake sometimes Doctor Pract. I mean a distemper in your minde Lady Ward My minde is troubled sometimes Doctor Pract. That is not well let me feel your pulse Lady Ward Why Doctor can you know the temper of my mind by the feeling of my pulse Doctor Pract. There is a great Sympathy between the Minde and the Body Lady Ward But I doubt Doctor your learned skill is many times deceived by the pulse you will sooner find a mad distemper in the tongue or actions than in the wrists Doctor Pract. In troth Lady you speak reason which those that are mad do not do Lady Ward O yes Doctor but they doe as you cure Diseases by chance Exeunt Scene 8. Enter the Lord Title alone LOrd Title O Love dissembling love that seem'st to be the best of passions and yet torments the soul He walks in a melancholy muse Enter Master Inquirer Master Inquirer What makes your Lordship so melancholy as to shun all your friends to walk alone Lord Title I am in Love Master Inqui. There are many remedies for love Lord Title I would you could tell me one Master Inqui. May I know the Lady you are in love with Lord Title The Lady say you she is a poor Lady Master Inqui. Your Lordship is so rich as you may marry without a portion Lord Title O I could curse my fate and rail at my destiny Master Inqui. For what Lord Title To make me fall in love with one I am asham'd to make her known Master Inqui. Is she so mean and yet so beautiful Lord Title O she hath all the Beauties and Graces that can attract a soul to love for surely Nature sate in Councel to make her body and the Gods sate in Councel to compose her mind Master Inqui. May not I see her Lord Title Yes Master Inqui. Where may I find her Lord Title Upon the next Plain under a bush that bends much like a bower there she most commonly sits to watch her sheep but I will goe with you Master Inqui. Your Lordship is not jealous Lord Title All Lovers think their Beloved is never secure enough Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Nurse Careful as in a fright unto the Lady VVard Nurse Careful O my Child I am told that on a sudden you turned mad Lady Ward Surely Nurse your fear or what else it may be you seem to me to be more mad than I can find in my self to be Nurse Caref. That shews you are mad Lady Ward If I am mad I suck'd the madness from your brest Nurse Caref. I do confess Child I have not had those mad vagaries since I gave suck as I had before Lady Ward 'T is a signe you are grown old Nurse Nurse Caref. I confess Youth is oftner mad than Age but dear Child tell me art thou mad Lady Ward Prethee Nurse lest thou shouldst become mad goe sleep to settle thy thoughts and quiet thy mind for I remember a witty Poet one Doctor Don saith Sleep is pains easie salve and doth fulfil All Offices unless it be to kill Nurse Careful cries out as in a great fright Nurse Caref. O Heaven what shall I do what shall I do Enter Doctor Practice Doctor Pract. What is the matter Nurse what is the matter you shreek out so Nurse Caref. O Doctor my Child is mad my Child is mad for she repeats Verses Doctor Pract. That 's an ill signe indeed Lady Ward Doctor did you never repeat Latine Sentences when you have read Lectures nor Latine Verses when you did Dispute in Schools Doctor Pract. Yes Sweet Lady a hundred times Lady Ward Lord Doctor have you been mad a hundred times and recovered so often Nurse Caref. Those were Latine Verses those were Latine Verses Child Doctor Pract. Faith Lady you pose me Lady Ward Then Doctor go to School again or at least return again to the University and study again and then practise not to be posed Doctor Pract. Nurse she is not well she must be put to a diet Lady Ward But why Doctor should you think me mad I have done no outragious action and if all those that speak extravagantly should be put to a diet as being thought mad many a fat waste would shrink in the doublet and many a Poetical vein would be dryed up and the flame quench'd out for want of radical oyl to prolong it Thus Wit would be starved for want of vapour to feed it The truth is a spare diet may make room in a Scholars head for old dead Authors to lie in for the emptyer their heads are of wit the fuller they may be fill'd with learning for I do imagine old dead Authors lie in a Scholars head as they say souls do none knows where for a million of souls to lie in as small a compass as the point of a needle Doctor Pract. Her brain is hotly distemper'd and moves with an extraordinary quick motion as may be perceiv'd by her strange fancy wherefore Nurse you had best get her to bed if you can and I will prescribe some medicine and rules for her Exit Doctor Nurse Caref. Come sweet child let me put thee to bed Lady VVard I will go to bed if you would have me but good Nurse believe me I am not mad it 's true the force of my passion hath made my Reason to erre and though my Reason hath gone astray yet it is not lost But consider well Nurse and tell me what noble minde can suffer a base servitude without rebellious passions But howsoever since they are of this opinion I am content to cherish it if you approve of it for if I seem mad the next of my kindred will beg the keeping of me for the sake of my Estate and I had rather lose my Estate and be thought mad than lose my honour in base offices and my free-born liberty to be inslaved to whores and though I do not fear my honest youth can be corrupted by ill example yet I will not have my youth a witness to wicked and base vice Nurse Caref. By no means I do not approve of these strange wayes besides you are a Ward to a gallant man and may be Mariage will alter his humour for most commonly
only Politick Arts Civil and Combining Arts Profitable and necessary Arts Military Arts and Ceremonious Arts but there were Superstitious Arts Idolatrous Arts false factious and mischievous Arts destructive and wicked Arts base and mean Art foolish childish vain superfluous and unprofitable Arts Upon all these Arts the Muses made good sport for at some they flung jests scorns and scoffs and some they stripp'd naked but to others they were cruel for some they stayd their skins off and others they made very Skeletons of dissecting them to the very bones and the truth is they spared not the best of them but they had one saying or other to them But when all the Arts departed they took me and carry'd to the Well of Helicon and there they threw me in over head and cares and said they would Souse me in the Liquor of Poetry but when I was in the Well I thought verily I should have been drown'd for all my outward Senses were smother'd and choak'd for the water did blind my eyes stop'd my ears and nostrils and fill'd my mouth so full as I had not so much space as to spout it forth besides all my body was so numb as I had no feeling insomuch as when they took me out of this Well of Helicon into which they had flung me I seem'd as dead being quite senseless Whereupon they all agreed to take and carry me up on Parnassas Hill and to lay me on the top thereof that the Poetical Flame or Heat therein might dry and warm me after which agreement they took me up every one bearing a part of me or was industrious about me for some carried my Head others my Legs some held my Hands others imbraced my Waste another oiled my Tongue and others powr'd Spirits into my Mouth but the worst-natur'd Muse pinch'd me to try if I was sensible or not and the sweetest and tenderest natur'd Muse wept over me and another was so kind as to kiss me but when they had brought me up to the top of the Hill and laid me thereupon I felt such a heat as if they had laid me on AEtna but after I had layn some time I felt it not so hot and so less and less until I felt it like as my natural heat just like those that goe into a hot Bathe at first crie out it is insufferable and scalding hot yet with a little use will finde it cool enough But whilest I lay on Parnassus Hill I began to make a Lyrick Verse as thus Bright Sparkling hot Poetick sire My duller Muse Inspire Unto thy Sweeter Lyre My Fancies like as Notes all sit To play a Tune of VVit On well-strung Numbers fit But your unfortunate Visit hath pull'd me so hastily down from the Hill that the force of the speed hath crack'd my Imaginary Fiddle broke the Strings of my Wit blotted the Notes of Numbers so spoil'd my Song Lady Visit. Prethee there is none that would have taken the pains to have sung thy Song unlesse some blind Fidler in an Alehouse and then not any one would have listen'd unto it for the fume of the drink would stop the sense of their ears Besides Drunkards love not nor delight in nothing but beastly Nonsense but howsoever I had done thee a friendly part to fetch thee down from off that monstrous high Hill whereby the vastnesse of the height might have made you so dizzy as you might have fallen there-from on the sharp stones of Spite or at least on the hard ground of Censure which might have bruised if not wounded the Reputatio of thy Wit Lady Contempl. Let me tell you you had done me a Courtesie to have let me remain'd there some time for if you had let me alone I might there have improv'd the Stature of my Wit perfected the Health of my Judgment and had nourished the Life of my Muse Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lord Title and the Lady Virtue Cloathed like her Self LOrd Title Still I fear my fault is beyond a Pacification yet the Gods are pacified with submissive Actions as bended knees repentant tear imploring words sorrowful Sighs and dejected Countenances all which I gave to thee Lady Virtue Though there is always in my minde an obedient respect to Merit yet a scorn is a sufficient cause to make a rebelling of thoughts words and actions for though I am poor yet I am virtuous and Virtue is to be preferr'd before Wealth or Birth were I meanly born But howsoever true Love like a great and powerful Monarch soon disperses those rebellious passions and quiets those factious thoughts and all murmuring speeches or words are put to silence banishing all frowning Countenance returning humble looks into the eyes again Lord Title Then you have pardon'd me Lady Vertue Yes Lord Title And do you love me Lady Virtue As Saints do Heaven Lord Title kisses Lady Virtues hands Lord Title Your Favours have rais'd my spirits from the grave of Melancholy and your pure Love hath given me a new Life Lady Virtue So truly I love you as nothing but death can destroy it my I am of that belief that were I dead and turned to ashes my dust like firm and lasting steel would fly unto you as to the Loadstone if you were at such distance as nothing might oppose Lord Title Thus Souls as well as Bodies love Exeunt Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady Amorous LAdy Amorous Since I cannot have the happinesse of your Lordships company at my House I am come to wait upon you at your House Lord Courts Your Ladyship doth me too great an honour Lady Amorous Your Lordship is grown very Courtly Pray how comes our familiar friendship so estranged and set at distance with Complements Lord Courts Madam my wilde manners have been so rude to your Fair Sex as I am become a scorn and shame unto my self Lady Amorous I hate Civility and Manners in a man it makes him appear sneakingly poorly and effeminate and not a Cavalier Bold and free Actions become your Sex Lord Courts It doth so in a Camp amongst rude and rough Souldiers whose Breeding never knew Civility nor will obey gentle Commands submitting only to rigorous Authority But to the fair tender effeminate Sex men should offer their service by their admiring Looks civil Discourses and humble Actions bowing as to a Deity and when they are pleased to favour their servants those Favours to be accounted beyond the Gifts of Iove Lady Amorous Have I Cuckolded my Husband dishonour'd my Family defam'd my self for your sake and am I thus rewarded and thrown aside with civil Complements O basest of men Lord Courts I am sorry I have wronged your Husband but more sorry I have dishonour'd you and what satisfaction a true repentance can make I offer upon the Altar of a Reformed Life Lady Amor Do you repent O false man May you be cursed of all your Sex and die the death of Orpheus Lady Amorous goes out Lord Courtship alone Lord
will be neither quiet it self always ebbing and flowing nor let any thing be at rest on it I know not what the Fishes are that are in it but for any thing I can perceive to the contrary they live in a perpetual motion So doe Ladies for their Passions and Affections ebb and flow from object to object for one while they flow with love then ebb with hate sometimes they are rough with anger and stormy with rage then indifferent calm with patience but that is seldome But in the Spring-tide of Beauty they overflow all with pride and their thoughts like Fishes are in a perpetual motion swimming from place to place from company to company from one meeting to another and are never at rest Frisk Thou deserv'st to die the death of Orpheus Satyrical 'T is likely I shall by reason I am a Satyrical Poet and Women hate Satyre in Poetry although not Wood or Forrest Satyrs and the most extravagant and maddest Actions that ever were done were done or acted by Women and the truth is Women are not only Batchelling some parts of the year but all their life-long for they drink vanity and are mad-drunk with wantonnesse Frisk Let me tell you that if I should be brought as a Witnesse and should declare the truth there were no hopes of mercy for thee Satyrical I grant it if Women were to be my Judges Exeunt Scene 11. Enter Excess VVanton Idle and Surfet Excess Where shall we go for pastime to day for our Lady hath left us to our own pleasures to day Idle Let us go and swim in a Boat upon the River Wanton That is but a watrish Recreation besides it is very dangerous for many have been drowned in their idle pastimes Surfet If you will take my Counsel let us go to the Lodge in the Park and drink Sullybubs Wanton Yes let us go for the Lodge puts me into a good humour and Sullybubs make me merry Idle You have reason for it is a cheerly Cup and a Cup of good fellowship for we may all eat and drink together Surfet Yes by spoonfuls Excess I love to be drunk by spoonfuls for then I am drunk by degrees and not at one draught as a pinte or a quart at a draught as men do besides though it be allowable for the sobrest noblest Women to be drunk with Wine-caudles Sullybubs Sack-possets and the like so it be by spoonfuls yet it were abominable and most dishonourable for Women to be drunk with plain Wine and great draught as men are besides in great draughts there is not that pleasure of taste as in a little at a time Idle I believe that is the reason that Flemmings love to sip their Wine because they would have the pleasure of Taste Wanton No question but they learn'd that of the Effeminate Sex who love to taste of every thing Surfet I do believe it for all women love spoon-meat Excess 'T is true and to drink in spoons Idle Talk no more of eating and drinking but eat and drink without talking and afterwards talk to digest it Excess And after it is digested let 's eat and drink again Wanton So we shall do nothing but eat drink and talk Surfet Women do nothing else all their life-long Wanton By your favour but we do Excess Come come let us go Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Ambition alone AMbition O that I might enjoy those pleasures which Poets fancy living in such delight as nature never knew nor that all Poets did write of me not only to express their Wit but my Worth and that I might be praised by all mankind yet not vulgarly as in a croud of others praises but my praises to be singularly inthron'd above the rest and that all others commendations might have no other light but what proceeds from the splendor of my Fame Also I wish that Nature had made me such a Beauty as might have drawn the Eyes of the whole World as a Loadstone to gaze at it and the splendor thereof might have inlightned every blind eye and the beams therefrom might have comforted every sad heart and the pleasing Aspect therein might have turned all passions into love then would I have had Nature Fortune and the Fates to have given me a free power of the whole World and all that is therein that I might have prest and squeezed our the healing Balsomes and sovereign Juices and restoring Simples into every sick wounded and decayed body and every disquieted or distemper'd mind Likewise that I might have been able to have relieved those that were poor and necessitous with the hidden riches therein and that by my power I might not only have obliged every particular creature and person according to their worth and merit but to have made so firm a peace amongst mankinde as never to be dissolved Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Monsieur Satyrical and Monsieur Inquisitive INquisitive I wonder you should be an Enemy to Women Satyrical I am so far from being an Enemy to the Effeminate Sex as I am the best friend they have for I do as a friend ought to do which is to tell them truth when other men deceive them with flattery Inquisitive But they complain and say you exclame and rail against them Satyrical Their complaints proceed from their partial self-Self-love and Luxury for they love pleasing flattery as they do Sweet-meats and hate rigid truth as they do a bitter potion although the one destroys their health the other prolongs their life Inquisitive But they are so angry as they all swear and have made a vow to be revenged on you Satyrical Let them throw their spleens at me I will stand their malice or dart forth Amorous glances they will not pierce my heart for Pallas is my Shield and Cupid hath no power Inquisitive If they cannot wound you with their Eyes they will sting you with their Tongues for Women are like Bees Satyrical If they are like Bees their stings lie not in their Tongues Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Mother Matron Bon' Esprit Portrait Faction Ambition Pleasure MAtron I can tell you News Ladies Portrait What News Mother Matron Matron Why there is a rich young Heir come to Town Superbe Some foolish Son of a miserable Father who hath spared from his back and belly to make his Son vain and prodigal But what shall we be the better for this rich Heir Matron Why marry if you can get him you will be so much the better as a rich Husband can make you Ambition He will first be got by the Cheats in the Town which Cheats have more subtilty and will be more industrious to get him than the youngest and beautifullest and wittyest Lady of us all so as there is no hopes of gaining him until he is so poor as he is not worth the having Faction But if he could be had whilest he were rich it were no great victory for I dare say his Mothers Landry-maid might be as soon a Conqueress
draw him to Love and to be in love as a Lover and I have discharged your trust and have brought your designs to pass Faction But our designs were not that he should be beloved of you but hated of all our Sex Bon' Esprit Why then you did spread your designs beyond your reach for do you think you have the power of Fate to rule govern and dispose of the passions of Mankind as you please when alas you are so powerless as you cannot rule govern and dispose of your own passions and so ignorant that you know not your own destinies nor how nor to what your passions will lead you to Besides you injoyn'd not my passions you did not forbid me to love him but only imploy'd my Wit to make him a Lover and so I have Portrait And you have prov'd your self a Fool in becoming a Lover Bon' Esprit Losers may have leave to speak any thing and therefore I will not quarrel with you Superbe We are not losers by the loss of you Faction But we are for with the loss of her we have lost our sweet revenge for by her we thought to have catch'd him like a Woodcock in a Net and then to have cut off his wings of Fancy and to have pull'd out his feathers of Pride or else to have intic'd him like a fool with a rattle and then to have toss'd him on Satyrical Tongues as in a blanket of shame But now instead of a blanket of shame he will lie in the Arms of Beauty and instead of being toss'd with satyrical tongues he will be flatter'd with kisses for which we may curse the Fates Pleasure But it is strange to me that she can love such a railing ill-natur'd man as Monsieur Satyrical Ambition I wonder she doth not blush at her choise Are you not out of countenance to be in love with such a man that is the worst of men Portrait Confess do not you repent Bon' Esprit So far am I from repenting as I love him so well as he seems to me to be such a person as to be so much above the rest of Mankind as he ought to be ador'd worship'd kneel'd down and pray'd to as to a Deity and the beginning of those prayers offer'd to him should be O thou worthyest meritoriousest and hest of men Faction She 's mad she 's stark mad wherefore let us binde her with chains and whip her with cords to bring her to her wits again Enter Monsieur Satyrical Bon' Esprit Oh Sir you are a person born to relieve the distressed and comfort the afflicted for you are come in a timely hour to release me from a company of Furies that threaten me Satyrical These Ladies appear too fair to be the daughters of Night who are said to be the Furies But Ladies I hope you will pardon me for taking away so pleasing a companion from you as my Mistris is but by her I shall be made Master of a world of happiness and I shall not only enjoy a world but a Heavenly Paradise wherein all Goodness Virtues Beauties and sweet Graces are planted And what man would not challenge or claim Heaven if Heaven could be gain'd by claiming wherefore I challenge and claim this Lady as being mine to enjoy Faction If you had challeng'd or claim'd any other Lady in my conscience you would have been refused Satyrical I desire no more than what I have Exit Satyrical and his Mistris Bon' Esprit Portrait I could cry with anger Temperance Ladies take my counsel which is to be friends with Madam Bon' Esprit and Monsieur Satyrical otherwise they will laugh at you to see what fools they have made you Pleasure She gives us good advice wherefore let us follow it and be friends Faction I may be seemingly friends but never really friends Temperance Why seeming friendship passes and traffiques as well in the world as those that are real Superbe You say well wherefore let us seem to be friends Exeunt Scene 20. Enter Monsieur Frisk and Mother Matrons Maid Frisk My fair Maid what Message have you brought me now Maid My Mistris remembers her loving love unto you and bids me tell you that she takes it wondrous unkindly that you shew'd the young Ladies the Letter and that she heard you mock'd and jeer'd at her Frisk Tell her I did but as all Lovers use to do vaunt of their Mistris's love and boast of their Mistris's favours Maid She doth not like your boasting but howsoever to shew and express her constant love and affectionate heart she hath sent you two hundred pounds to buy you a Nag Frisk I accept of the Present and tell her I will ride the Nag for her sake Maid My Mistris will be a joy'd Woman to hear that you will ride for her sake Frisk But is thy Mistris rich Maid Yes by my truth is she for she hath store of bags in her Chests Frisk But are they full of gold and silver Maid Yes for I have seen her tell the money in the bags bag after bag Frisk Is it all her own Maid Yes certainly it is all her own Frisk How came she to be so rich Maid Why the young Ladies Parents give her money or moneys worth to Govern and Educate their Daughters and the young Ladies bribe her to keep their counsels and fee her to be their Agent and their Courtly Servants present her with rich gifts to prefer their Sutes and to speak in their behalfs to the young Ladies and thus she gains on every side and takes gifts on both hands and she being miserable and sparing must needs be rich but now she is become a Lover she begins to grow prodigal as all Lovers are but if she had a million she says nay swears she could bestow it all on her beloved which beloved is your Worship Frisk I could be well content to marry her wealth and lie with her Maid but I would not be troubled with the Mistris Maid My Mistris I believe will be a very fond Wife Frisk And that fondness is the second obstacle I stick at for first to be old and then to be fond will be a double misery as being an intolerable trouble and a nauseous vexation for there is nothing more hateful than an amorous fond old woman But if thou wilt be fond of me I shall like it well and if any thing could perswade me to marry thy Mistris next to her wealth will be in hopes of thy kindness What say you will you be kind Maid I shall not be undutiful when you are my Master I shall deny no service I can do your Worship Frisk That 's well promis'd In the mean time remember me to thy Mistris and thank her for her Present and tell her the more such Presents she sends the welcomer they shall be Exeunt Scene 21. Enter Monsieur Sensuality and Madamoiselle Portrait SEnsuality Madamoiselle you may do a charitable Act Portrait As how Sensuality As to
Love than you want love to give Desert Sage Prethee VVife be not griev'd nor angry for 't is natural for Love to be suspicious wherefore pray forgive my doubts Chastity My nature is to forgive and not to bear a grudge or spleen in minde Sage Then we are friends again Chastity My love is still the same not to be alter'd Exeunt Scene 7. Enter Mistris Single the Lady Jealousies sister and Raillery Jester the Fool MIstris Single Fool How many degrees is there in Understanding Iester Three Single Distinguish them Iester There is a Coelestial Understanding a Terrestrial Understanding and an Understanding betwixt both as an Airestial Understanding Those that are Coelestial are wise men those that are Terrestrial are fools and those that are betwixt both as Airestial are half-witted men Single I thought you would have said that those that were Terrestrial were beasts Iester O no for beasts are one degree above wise men two degrees above half witted men and three degrees above fools Single But how will you make that good that beasts are wiser than wise men Iester By all their actions for beasts for the most part are more industrious prudent temperate and peaceable than the best of men neither do they trouble their heads nor break their sleeps about the trifles of the World but govern their Affairs easily and live orderly every several kind agreeing amongst themselves besides we are taught to imitate the Serpent and the Dove and Examples are Principles and the Original is to be preferr'd before the Copy the Sample before the Pattern Thus a Beast is preferr'd before a Wise man by reason all Men must learn of Beasts to be wise and of Birds to be virtuously honest as to be harmless Exeunt Scene 8. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and her Maid Joan. MAid Ioan. Certainly Madam you will starve your self with eating so little Hypocon. Why a little serves Nature Ioan. Yes but there are great differences betwixt Natures for mankind requires more food than some kind of beasts or birds for a man would be starv'd if he should eat no more than a Dormouse or a Camelion or a Sparrow Hypocon. But a Sparrow cannot eat so much as an Eagle nor an Eagle so much as an Estrich Likewise as it is with Bird-kind so it is with Mankind some would starve with that proportion another would surfet on Ioan. But surely there are none that could surfet with your diet as with Water and Air nay most commonly nothing but Air Camelion-like for you oft times for a week together neither eat bit nor drink a drop and that which makes me wonder more is that you naturally have a very good stomach and can eat when you please very heartily and it thrives well with you but my greater wonder is that when you do fast eating now and then a bit week after week nay moneth after moneth yet you are not so lean as to appear a Skeleton nor so weak but you can walk two hours without resting or being very weary Hypocon. Oh Custome is a second Nature Ioan Ioan. I would have your Ladyship accustome your self to live without eating and then you will be set in a Chronicle Hypocon. Who would strive for that since most think Chronologers are Artificers and that their Chronicles are false Ioan. Why some will believe it and it were better to live in the memory of a few than to die to all memory and to live by nothing Hypocon. I would have my Fame live only by singular and transcending Merits not by singular and melancholy Follies I know my Errors though I cannot mend my Faults Exeunt ACT II. Scene 9. Enter the Lady Procurer and the Lady VVanton PRocurer Well Madam you are to give me thanks for bringing you acquainted with Monsieur Amorous for he is as fine a Gentleman as any our Nation hath Wanton Indeed he is the most obligingst person as ever I met with but pray Madam what said he of me Procurer O he raves in your praise He says you are the finest sweetest fairest and kindest Lady that ever was but did not your Husband examine you when you came home Wanton No 'faith not much some slight questions he ask'd but come into my Chamber and there let us discourse of Monsieur Amorous Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Lady Jealousie beating her Maid Nan JEalousie I will make you humbler than to give me such unmannerly words What had you to do in my Husbands your Masters Chamber Nan I went to speak with Tom my Masters barber Iealousie What had you to do with your Masters barber I am sure you had no use for him but I will beat you so as you shall not be able to stir much less to go frisking into your Masters Chamber so often as you do Falls a beating her again Nan runs crying from her Lady her Lady follows her Enters Raillery Jester the Fool Fool. What a Volly of words their gun-powder breath and the fire-lock of their anger hath shot into my Ears giving me no warning to baracade them up but hath surprized my brain by their sudden assault and hath blown up the Magazines of my Contemplations but all creatures love to make a noise beasts vocally men verbally and some actually in boysterous deeds Enter Mistris Single Single How now Fool what 's the matter Fool. Why this is the matter fool thy Sister fool hath beaten her Maid fool for kissing her Master fool Single For kissing her Masters fool say you Fool. Nay by'r Lady if she had done so she had been wise for if she had kiss'd me she had not been beaten but she did not kiss me Ergo she 's a fool Exeunt Scene 11. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and Sir VVilliam Lovewell her Husband HYpocondria Husband why seem you so sad Lovewel My love to you makes me sad Hypocondria To me Heaven bless me what do you see in me to make you sad Lovewel Why for these passions and frights that you fall into like one in an Epilepsie and now you look as pale as if you were ready to fall down dead Hypocon. Alas Husband consider it is a timorous effect of Love which is to be pardon'd since it proceeds from the kindness I have to my Friends it is honourable to the World and no dishonour to you but only troublesome to my self and to those I naturally love as Husband Children Father Mother Brothers and Sisters And though fond Love and vain Fears may be produced from the melancholy Spleen yet those fears that proceed from my firm true and honest Affection are created in the Soul for noble and honourable and honest Fears are the natural Issues of pure Love Lovewel But Reason the chief Magistrate of the Soul and Governour of the Passions should temper the Excess Hypocon. O Husband when Love comes to be temper'd it loses or quits the essential part and the vertical strength for true Love is pure like gold which is debased with an allay
of the same fault but we have this advantage of men which is that we know this imperfection in our selves although we do not indeavour to mend it but men are so Partial to themselves as not to perceive this imperfection in themselves and so they cannot mend it but in this will not or cannot is as one but this discourse hath brought me to this that if I have spoke at any time to any person or persons impertinently improperly untimely or tediously I ask their pardon but lest I should be impertinently tedious in this Epistle and so commit a fault in asking pardon I leave my Readers to what may be more pleasing to them M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS I Make no question but my Playes will be censured and those Censurors severe but I hope not malicious but they will perchance say that my Playes are too serious by reason there is no rediculous Iest in them nor wanton Love nor Impossibilities also 't is likely they will say that there are no plots nor designs nor subtil Contrivances and the like I answer that the chief Plots of my Playes were to imploy my idle time the designs to please and entertain my Readers and the contrivance was to join edifying Profit and Delight together that my Readers may neither lose their time nor grow weary in the reading but if they find my Playes neither Edifying nor Delightfull I shall be sorry but if they find either I shall be pleased and if they find both I shall much rejoyce that my time hath been imployed to some good use M. N. TO THE READERS WORTHY READERS I Have heard that such Poets that write Playes seldome or never join or sow the several Scenes together they are two several Professions at least not usual for rare Poets to take that pains like as great Taylors the Master only cuts out and shapes and his Iourny-men and Apprentices join and sow them together but I like as a poor Taylor was forced to do all my self as to cut out shape join and sow each several Scene together without any help or direction wherefore I fear they are not so well done but that there will be many faults found but howsoever I did my best indeavour and took great pains in the ordering and joining thereof for which I hope my Learned Readers will pardon the errors therein and excuse me the worker thereof M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS MY Lord was pleased to illustrate my Playes with some Scenes of his own Wit to which I have set his name that my Readers may know which are his as not to couzen them in thinking they are mine also Songs to which my Lords name is set for I being no Lyrick Poet my Lord supplied that defect of my Brain with the superfluity of his own Brain thus our Wits join as in Matrimony my Lords the Masculine mine the Feminine Wit which is no small glory to me that we are Married Souls Bodies and Brains which is a treble marriage united in one Love which I hope is not in the power of Death to dissolve for Souls may love and Wit may live though Bodies dye M. N. I Must trouble my Noble Readers to write of one thing more which is concerning the Reading of Playes for Playes must be read to the nature of those several humours or passions as are exprest by Writing for they must not read a Scene as they would read a Chapter for Scenes must be read as if they were spoke or Acted Indeed Comedies should be read a Mimick way and the sound of their Voice must be according to the sense of the Scene and as for Tragedies or Tragick Scenes they must not be read in a pueling whining Voice but a sad serious Voice as deploring or complaining but the truth is there are as few good Readers as good Writers indeed an ill Reader is as great a disadvantage to wit as wit can have unless it be ill Acted for then it 't is doubly disgraced both in the Voice and Action whereas in Reading only the voice is imployed but when as a Play is well and skillfully read the very sound of the Voice that enters through the Ears doth present the Actions to the Eyes of the Fancy as lively as if it were really Acted but howsoever Writings must take their Chance and I leave my Playes to Chance and Fortune as well as to Censure and Reading M. N. To the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle upon her Playes TErence and Plautus Wits we now do scorn Their Comick Socks worn out in pieces torn Only their rags of Wit remain as toyes For Pedants to admire to teach School Boyes It is not time hath wasted all their Fame But your high Phancies and your nobler flame Which burnt theirs up in their own ashes lies Nor Phoenix like e'r out of those will rise Old Tragick Buskins now are thrown away When we read your each Passion in each Play No stupid block or stony heart forbears To drown their Cheeks in Seas of salter Tears Such power you have in Tragick Comick stile When for to fetch a tear or make a smile Still at your pleasure all our passions ly Obedient to your pen to laugh or cry So even with the thread of Natures fashion As you play on her heart-strings still of passion So we are all your Subjects in each Play Unwilling willingly still to obey Or have a thought but what you make or draw Us by the power of your wits great law Thus Emperess in Soveraign power yours fits Over the wise and tames Poetick wits W. Newcastle A General Prologue to all my Playes NOBLE Spectators do not think to see Such Playes that 's like Ben Johnsons Alchymie Nor Fox nor Silent Woman for those Playes Did Crown the Author with exceeding praise They were his Master-pieces and were wrought By wits Invention and his labouring thought And his Experience brought Materials store His reading several Authors brought much more What length of time he took those Plays to write I cannot guess not knowing his Wits flight But I have heard Ben Johnsons Playes came forth To the Worlds view as things of a great worth Like Forein Emperors which do appear Unto their Subjects not 'bove once a year So did Ben Johnsons Playes so rarely pass As one might think they long a writing was But my poor Playes like to a common rout Gathers in throngs and heedlesly runs out Like witless Fools or like to Girls and Boyes Goe out to shew new Clothes or such like toyes This shews my Playes have not such store of wit Nor subtil plots they were so quickly writ So quickly writ that I did almost cry For want of work my time for to imploy Sometime for want of work I 'm forc'd to play And idlely to cast my time away Like as poor Labourers all they desire Is to have so much work it might them tire Such difference betwixt each several brain Some labour hard and
it do her any service Nurse Fondly But we indanger her life by the consenting to this journey for she that hath been bred with tenderness and delicateness can never indure the coldes and heats the dirt and dust that Travellers are subject to Besides to be disturbed and broaken of her sleep and to have ill Lodging or perhaps none at all and then to travel a foot like a Pilgrim Her tender feet will never indure the hard ground nor her young legs never able to bear her body so long a journey Foster Trusty T is true this journey may very much incommode her yet if she doth not go to satisfie her mind I cannot perceive any hopes of life but do foresee her certain death for her mind is so restless and her thoughts works so much upon her body as it begins to waste for she is become lean and pale Nurse Fondly Well! Heaven bless you both and prosper your journey but pray let me hear often from you for I shall be in great frights and fears Foster Trusty If we should write it may chance to discover us if our Letters should be opened wherefore you must have patience Ex. Scene 10. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her Woman LAdy Bashfull Reformer I am little beholding to you Reformer Why Madam Lady Bashfull Why you might have told a lye for me once in your life for if you had not spoke the truth by saying I was the Lady they came to see they would never have guest I had been she for they expected me to have been a free bold Entertainer as they were Visitors which is as I do perceive to be rudely familiar at first sight Reformer But to have told a lye had been to commit a sin Lady Bashfull In my conscience tto please the effeminate Sex is to praise their beauty wit vertue and goa most pious and charitable act in helping the distressed Besides you had not only helped a present distress but released a whole life out of misery for as long as I live my thoughts will torment me O! They wound my very soul already they will hinder my pious devotions For when I pray I shall think more of my bashfull behaviour and the disgrace I have received thereby than of Heaven Besides they will starve me not suffering the meat to go down my throat or else to choke me causing it to go awry or else they will cause a Feaver for in my conscience I shall blush even in my sleep if I can sleep For certainly I shall dream of my disgrace which will be as bad as a waking memory O! that I had Opium I would take it that I might forget all things For as long as I have memory I shall remember my simple behaviour and as for my Page he shall go I am resolved to turn him away Reformer Why madam Lady Bashfull Because he let them come in Reformer He could not help it for they followed him at the heels they they never stayed for an answer from you or to know whether you were within or no and there were a great many of them Lady Bashfull I think there was a Legion of them Reformer You speak as if they were a Legion of Angels Lady Bashfull Nay they proved a Legion of Divels to me Reformer There was one that seemed to be a fine Gentleman but he spake not a word Lady Bashfull They may be all what you will make them or describe them for I could make no distinction whether they were men or women or beasts nor heard no articulated sound only a humming noise Reformer They spake loud enough to have pierced your ears if strength of noise could have done it but the Gentleman that did not speak looked so earnestly at you as if he would have looked you thorough Lady Bashfull O that his eyes had that piercing faculty for then perchance he might have seen I am not so simple as my behaviour made me appear Ex. Scene 11. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious and the Lady Ignorance his Wife SIr Peaceable Studious I have lost 500. pounds since you went in with the Ladies Lady Ignorance 500. Pounds in so short a time Sir P. Studious 'T is well I lost no more But yet that 500. pounds would have bought you a new Coach or Bed or Silver Plate or Cabinets or Gowns or fine Flanders-laces and now it s gone and we have no pleasure nor credit for it but it is no matter I have health for it therefore I will call to my Stewards to bring me some more Lady Ignorance No do not so for after the rate you have lost you will lose all your Estate in short time Sir P. Studious Faith let it go 't is but begging or starving after it is gone for I have no trade to live by unless you have a way to get a living have you any Lady Ignorance No truly Husband I am a shiftless creature Sir P. Studious Yes but you may play the Whore and I the Shark so live by couzening and cheating Lady Ignorance Heaven defend Husband Sir P. Studious Or perchance some will be so charitable to give us suck'd bones from stinking breaths and rotten teeth or greasie scraps from fowl hands But go wife prithy bid my Steward send me 500. pounds more or let it alone I will run on the score and pay my losings at a lump Lady Ignorance No dear Husband play no more Sir P. Studious How not play any more say you shall I break good Company with sitting out Besides it is a question whether I have power to leave off now I have once begun for Play is Witch-craft it inchants temperance prudence patience reason and judgment and it kicks away time and bids him go as an old bald-pated fellow as he is also it chains the life with fears cares and griefs of losing to a pair of Cards and set of Dice Lady Ignorance For Heaven sake pitty me If you consider not your self Sir P. Studious Can you think a Husband considers his wife when he forgets or regards not himself when all love is self-self-love for a man would have his Wife to be loving and chaste for his honours sake to be thrifty for his profit sake to be patient for quiet sake to be cleanly witty and beautifull for his pleasure sake and being thus he loves her For if she be false unkind prodigal froward sluttish foolish and ill-favoured he hates her Lady Ignorant But if a Husband loves his wife he will be carefull to please her prudent for her subsistence industrious for her convenience valiant to protect her and conversable to entertain her and wise to direct and guide her Sir P. Studious To rule and govern her you mean wife Lady Ignorance Yes but a Husbands follies will be but corrupt Tutors and ill Examples for a wife to follow wherefore dear Husband play no more but come amongst the effeminate Societie you will finde more pleasure at less charges Sir P. Studious Well wife You
Studious How not to go nor to go no more would you desire me from that which you perswaded me to Nay so much as I could never be quiet disturbing my harmless studies and happy mind crossing my pleasing thoughts with complaining words but I perceive you grow jealouse and now you are acquainted you have no more use of me but would be glad to quit my company that you may be more free abroad Lady Ignorance No Husband truely I will never go abroad but will inancor my self in my own house so you will stay at home and be as you were before for I see my own follies and am ashamed of my self that you should prove me such a fool Sir P. Studious Do you think me so wise and temperate a man as I can on a sudden quit vain pleasures and lawfull follies Lady Ignorance Yes or else you have studied to little purpose Sir P. Studious Well for this day I will stay at home and for the future time I will consider Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two Servants of the Generals I. Servant This boy that came but the other day hath got more of my Lords affection than we that have served him this many years 2. Servant New-comers are alwaies more favoured than old waiters for Masters regards old Servants no more than the Imagerie in an old suit of Hanging which are grown threed-bare with time and out of fashion with change Besides new Servants are more industrious and diligent than old but when he hath been here a little while he will be as lazie as the rest and then he will be as we are I. Servant I perceive my Lord delights to hear him talk for he will listen very a tentively to him but when we offer to speak he bids us to be silent 2. Servant I wonder he should for when we speak it is with gravity and our discourse is sententious but his is meer squibs Enter Affectionata Affectionata Gentlemen my Lord would have one of you to come to him I. Servant Why I thought you could supply all our places for when you are with him he seems to have no use of us Affectionata It shall not be for want of will but ability if I do not serve him in every honest office I. Servant So you will make some of us knaves Affectionata I cannot make you knaves unless you be willing to be knaves your selves 2. Servant What do you call me knave Affectionata I do not call you so Ex. 2. Servant Well I will be revenged if I live Ex. Scene 21. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her woman REformer Madam I have inquired what this Sir Serious Dumb is and 't is said he is one of the finest Gentlemen in this Kingdom and that his valour hath been proved in the wars and that he is one that is very active and dexterous in all manly exercises as riding fencing vaulting swimming and the like Also that he is full of inventions and a rare Poet and that he hath a great Estate only that he is dumb and hath been so this twelve years and upwards Lady Bashfull Reformer What makes you so industrious to inquire after him surely thou art in love within Reformer In my conscience I liked him very well when he was to see you Lady Bashfull The truth is he cannot weary you with words nor anger you in his discourse but pray do not inquire after him nor speak of him for people will think I have some designe of marriage Reformer I shall obey you Madam Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata He strokes Affectionata's head LOrd Singularity Affectionata Thou art one of the diligent'st boys that had Affectionata How can I be otherwise Sir since you are the Governour of my soul that commands the Fort of my passion and the Castle of my imaginations which are the heart and the head Lord Singularity Do you love me so much Affectionata So well my Lord as you are the archetectour of my mind the foundation of my thoughts and the gates of my memories for your will is the form your happiness the level and your actions the treasurie Lord Singularity Thy wit delights me more than thy flattery perswades for I cannot believe a boy can love so much Besides you have not served me so long as to beget love Affectionata I have loved you from my infancy for as I suck'd life from my Nurses breast so did I Love from fames drawing your praises forth as I did milk which nourished my affections Lord Singularity I shall strive boy to require thy love Affectionata To requite is to return love for love Lord Singul. By Heaven I love thee as a Father loves a son Affectionata Then I am blest Exeunt Scene 23. Enter two Souldiers 1. SOuldier What is this boy that our General is so taken with 2. Souldier A poor Begger-boy 1. Souldier Can a poor Begger-boy merit his affections 2. Souldier He is a pretty boy and waites very diligently 1. Souldier So doth other boys as well as he but I believe he is a young Pimp and carries and conveys Love-letters 2. Souldier Like enough to for boys are strangely crafty in those imployments and so industrious as they will let no times nor opportunities slip them but they will find waies to deliver their Letters and messages Exeunt Scene 24. Enter the Lady Bashfulls Page and Sir Serious Dumb who gives a Note to the Page to read PAge Sir I dare not direct you to my Lady as you desire me in this Note and if I should tell her here is a Gentleman that desired to visit her she would refuse your visit Dumb gives the young Page four or five pieces of Gold Page I will direct you to the room wherein my Lady is but I must not be seen nor confess I shewed you the way Page and Sir Serious Dumb Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Come Affectionata sit down and entertain me with thy sweet discourse which makes all other company troublesome and tedious to me thine only doth delight me Affectionata My Noble Lord I wish the plat-form of my brain were a Garden of wit and then perchance my tongue might present your Excellencies with a Posie of flowery Rhethorick but my poor brain is barren wanting Lord Singularity Thou hast an eloquent tongue and a gentle soul Affectionata My Noble Lord I have hardly learn'd my native words much less the eloquence of Language and as for the souls of all mankind they are like Common-wealths where the several vertues and good graces are the Citizens therein and the natural subjects thereof but vices and follies as the thievish Borderers and Neighbour-enemies which makes inrodes factions mutinies intrudes and usurps Authority and if the follies be more than the good graces and the vices too strong for the vertues the Monarchy of a good life falls to ruine also it is indangered by Civil-wars amongst the passions Lord Singularity What
sit down or to bid him leave her company and surely they must needs be both very weary of walking but sure he will leave her when it is time to go to bed Reformer It is to be hoped he will Enter the Lady Bashfull and Sir Serious Dumb following her Reformer Madam you will tire your self and the Gentleman with walking about your house wherefore pray sit down Lady Bashfull What! To have him gaze upon my face Reformer Why your face is a handsome face and the owner of it is honest wherefore you need not be ashamed but pray rest your self Lady Bashfull Pray perswade him to leave me and then I will Reformer Sir my Lady intreats you to leave her to her self Sir Serious Dumb writes then and gives Reformer his Table-book to read Reformer He writes he cannot leave you for if his body should depart his soul will remain still with you Lady Bashfull That will not put me out of countenance because I shall not be sensible of its presence wherefore I am content he should leave his soul so that he will take his body away He writes and gives Reformer the Book Reformer reads He writes that if you will give him leave once a day to see you that he will depart and that he will not disturb your thoughts he will only wait upon your person for the time he lives he cannot keep himself long from you Lady Bashfull But I would be alone Reformer But if he will follow you you must indure that with patience you cannot avoid Sir Serious Dumb goeth to the Lady Bashfull and kisseth her hand and Ex. Reformer You see he is so civil as he is unwilling to displease you Lady Bashfull Rather than I will be troubled thus I will go to some other parts of the World Reformer In my conscience Madam he will follow you wheresoever you go Lady Bashfull But I will have him shut out of my house Reformer Then he will lye at your gates and so all the Town will take notice of it Lady Bashfull Why so they will howsoever by his often visits Reformer But not so publick Exeunt Scene 31. Enter the General and Affectionata Lord Singularity Affectionata Thou must carry a Letter from me to my Mistriss Affectionata You will not marry her you say Lord Singul. No Affectionata Then pardon me my Lord for though I would assist your honest love by any service I can do yet I shall never be so base an Instrument as to produce a crime Lord Singul. Come come thou shalt carry it and I will give thee 500. pounds for thy service Affectionata Excuse me my Lord Lord Singularity I will give thee a thousand pounds Affectionata I shall not take it my Lord Lord Singul. I will give thee five thousand nay ten thousand pounds Affectionata I am not covetous my Lord Lord Singularity I will make thee Master of my whole Estate for without the assistance I cannot injoy my Mistriss by reason she will trust none with our Loves but thee Affectionata Could you make me Master of the whole World it could not tempt me to do an action base for though I am poor I am honest and so honest as I cannot be corrupted or bribed there-from Lord Singularity You said you loved me Affectionata Heaven knows I do above my life and would do you any service that honour did allow of Lord Singularity You are more scrupulous than wise Affectionata There is an old saying my Lord that to be wise is to be honest Exeunt Scene 32. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious and meets his Ladies maid Sir P. Studious Where is your Lady Maid In her Chamber Sir Sir P. Studious Pray her to come to me Maid Yes Sir Sir P. Studious Exit Enter another Maid to the first 1. Maid Lord Lord What a creature my Master is become since he fell into his musing again he looks like a melancholy Ghost that walks in the shades of Moon-shine or if there be no Ghost such as we fancie just such a one seems her when a week since he was as fine a Gentleman as one should see amongst a thousand 2. Maid That was because he kiss'd you Nan 1. Maid Faith it was but a dull clownish part to meet a Maid that is not ill-favoured and not make much of her who perchance have watch'd to meet him for which he might have clap'd her on the cheek or have chuck'd her under the chin or have kiss'd her but to do or say nothing but bid me call my Lady was such a churlish part Besides it seemed neither manly gallantly nor civilly 2. Maid But it shewed him temperate and wise not minding such frivilous and troublesome creatures as women are 1. Maid Prithy it shews him to be a miserable proud dull fool 2. Maid Peace some body will hear you and then you will be turn'd away 1. Maid I care not for it they will not turn me away I will turn my self away and seek another service for I hate to live in the house with a Stoick Scene 33. Enter the General and Affectionata AFfectionata By your face Sir there seems a trouble in your mind and I am restless until I know your griefs Lord Singularity It is a secret I dare not trust the aire with Affectionata I shall be more secret than the aire for the aire is apt to divulge by retorting Echoes back but I shall be as silent as the Grave Lord Singul. But you may be tortured to confess the truth Affectionata But I will not confess the truth if the confession may any wayes hurt or disadvantage you for though I will not belye truth by speaking falsely yet I will conceal a truth rather than betray a friend Especially my Lord and Master But howsoever since your trouble is of such concern I shall not with to know it for though I dare trust my self yet perchance you dare not trust me but if my honest fidelity can serve you any wayes you may imploy it and if it be to keep a secret all the torment that nature hath made or art invented shall never draw it from me Lord Singul. Then let me tell thee that to conceal it would damn thy soul Affectionata Heaven bless me But sure my Lord you cannot be guilty of such sins that those that doth but barely hear or know them shall be damned Lord Singul, But to conceal them is to be an Actor Affectionata For Heaven sake then keep them close from me if either they be base or wicked for though love prompt me to inquire hoping to give you ease in bearing part of the burthen yet Heaven knows I thought my love so honourable placed on such a worthy person and guiltless soul as I might love and serve without a scandal or a deadly sin Lord Singularity Come you shall know it Affectionata I 'l rather stop my ears with death Lord Singul. Go thou art a false boy Affectionata How false a boy howsoever you think me I have an
to their several Offices Affectionata Then the common Servants are like the common Souldiers Lord Singularity They are so and are as apt to mutiny if they be not used with strickt discipline Thus if a Master of a Family have the right way in the management of his particular affairs he may thrive easily have plenty live peaceably be happy and carry an honourable port with an indifferent Estate when those of much greater Estates which knows not nor practices the right method or rules and governs not with strictness his servants shall grow factious mutinous and be alwaies in bruleries by which disorders his Estate shall waste invisible his servants cozen egregiously he lives in penurie his servants in riot alwaies spending yet alwaies wanting forced to borrow and yet hath so much that if it were ordered with prudence might be able to lend when by his imprudence he is troubled with stores yet vex'd with necessity Affectionata I should think that no man ought to be a Master of a Family but those that can govern orderly and peaceably Lord Singularity You say right for every Master of a Family are petty-Kings and when they have rebellions in their own small Monarchies they are apt to disturb the general Peace of the whole Kingdom or State they live in for those that cannot tell how to command their own Domesticks and prudently order their own affairs are not only uselesse to the Common-wealth but they are pernicious and dangerous as not knowing the benefit and necessity of obedience and method Exeunt Scene 29. Enter the Lady VVagtail and the Lady Amorous Lady Wagtail The Lord Singularity hath brought home the sweetest and most beautifullest young Cavalier as ever I saw Lady Amorous Faith he appears like Adonas Lady Wagtail Did you ever see Adonas Lady Amorous No but I have heard the Poets describe him Lady Wagtail Venus and Adonas are only two poetical Ideas or two Ideas in poetical brains Lady Amorous Why Ideas hath no names Lady Wagtail O yes for Poets christens their Ideas with names as orderly as Christians Fathers doth their children Lady Amorous Well I wish I were a Venus for his sake Lady Wagtail But if you were only a poetical Venus you would have little pleasure with your Adonas Lady Amorous Hay ho He is a sweet youth Lady Wagtail And you have sweet thoughts of the sweet youth Lady Amorous My thoughts are like Mirtle-groves to entertain the Idea of the Lord Singularity's Son Lady Wagtail Take heed there be not a wild-boar in your Mirtle Imagenarie Grove that may destroy your Adonas Idea Lady Amorous There is no beast there only sweet singing-birds called Nightingals Exeunt Scene 30. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata AFfectionata Pray my Lord what Lady is that you make such inquiry for Lord Singularity She is a Lady I would have thee marry One that my Father did much desire I should marry although she was very young and may be now about thy years I hear her Father is dead but where the Lady is I cannot find out Affectionata Perchance she is married my Lord Lord Singularity Then we should find her out by hearing who she hath marryed Affectionata But if she be not marryed she being as old as I I am too young for her for Husbands should be older than their wives Lord Singularity But she is one that is well born well bred and very rich and though thou art young in years yet thou art an aged man in judgment prudence understanding and for wit as in thy flourishing strength Affectionata Perchance my Lord she will not like me as neither my years my person nor my birth Lord Singularity As for thy years youth is alwayes accepted by the effeminate Sex and thy person she cannot dislike for thou art very handsom and for thy birth although thou art meanly born thou hast a noble nature a sweet disposition a vertuous soul and a heroick spirit Besides I have adopted thee my Son and the King hath promised to place my Titles on thee and hath made thee Heir of my whole Estate for to maintain thee according to those Dignities Affectionata But I had rather live unmarried my Lord if you will give consent Lord Singularity But I will never consent to that and if you be dutifull to me you will marry such a one as I shall chose for you Affectionata I shall obey whatsoever you command for I have nothing but my obedience to return for all your favours Lord Singularity Well I will go and make a strickt inquiry for this Lady Lord Singularity Exit Affectionata alone Affectionata Hay ho what will this come to I would I were in my Grave for love and fear doth torture my poor life Heaven strike me dead or make me this Lords wife Exeunt Scene 31. Enter the Lady Wagtail and the Lady Amorous LAdy Amorous How shall we compass the acquaintance of the Lord Singularity's Son Lady Wagtail Faith Amorous thou lovest boys but I love men wherefore I would be acquainted with the Lord Singularity himself Beside his adopted Son was a poor Beggar-boy 't is said and I cannot love one that is basely born Lady Amorous His birth may be honourably though poor and of low and mean descent for if he was born in honest wedlock and of honest Parents his birth cannot be base Lady Wagtail O yes for those that are not born from Gentry are like course brown bread when Gentry of ancient descent are like flower often boulted to make white mancher Lady Amorous By that rule surely he came from a Noble and Ancient Race for I never saw any person more white and finely shap'd in my life than he is and if fame speaks true his actions have proved he hath a Gentlemans soul But say he were meanly born as being born from a Cottager yet he is not to be despised nor disliked nor to be lesse esteemed or beloved or to be thought the worse of for was Lucan lesse esteemed for being a Stone-Cutter or his wit lesse esteemed or was King David lesse esteemed or obeyed for being a Shepheard or the Apostles lesse esteemed or believed for being Fisher men Tent-makers or the like or the man that was chosen from the Plough to be made Emperour I say was he lesse esteemed for being a Plough-man No he was rather admired the more or was Horace esteemed or his Poems thought the worse for being Son to a freed man which had been a slave or was Homer lesse admired or thought the worse Poet for being a poor blind man and many hundred that I cannot name that hath gained fame and their memories lives with Honour and Admiration in every Age and in every Nation Kingdom Country and Family and it is more worthy and those persons ought to have more love and respect that have merit than those that have only Dignity either from favour of Princes or descended from their Ancestors for all derived Honours are poor and mean in
was ever wise that was young Foster Trusty And few are praised that are old for as fame divulgeth merits so time wears out praise for time hath more power than fame striving to destroy what fame desires to keep The truth is time is a Glutton for he doth not only strive to destroy what fame divulgeth but what himself begets and produceth Exeunt Scene 39. Enter the Lord Singularity and the Lady Orphant as Bride and Bride-groom and a company of Bridal-guests Enter Musitians and meets them MUsitioners We desire your Excellence will give us leave to present you with a Song written by my Lord Marquiss of New-Castle Lord Singularity Your present could have never been less acceptable by reason it will retard my marriage Lady Orphant Pray my Lord hear them Lord Singularity Come come dispatch dispatch He seems not to listen to them All the time his eyes fixt on the Bride SONG Love in thy younger age Thou then turn'd Page When love then stronger grew The bright sword drew Then Love it was thy fate To advise in State My Love adopted me His childe to be Then offered was my hap A Cardinals Cap Loves juglings thus doth make The Worlds mistake Lord Singularity By Heaven Musitioners you are all so dillotarie with your damnable and harsh prologue of tuning before you play as the next Parliament will make it felony in Fidlers if not treason when your Great Royal Eares begin with a Pox to you Musitians Why my Noble Lord we have done Lord Singularity By Heaven there spake Apollo Give them ten Pieces Musitians Madam an Eppilanian we have more to express our further joy and then we will pray for blessings on you both Lord Singularity O! It will be my funeral song you rogues know all delays doth kill me and at this time your best Musick sounds harsh and out of tune Lady Orphant Pray let them sing that one song more so ends your trouble of them Lord Singularity Begin quick quick SONG O Love some says thou art a Boy But now turn'd Girl thy Masters joy Now cease all thy fierce alarms In circles of your loving arms Who can express the joys to night 'T wil charm your senses with delight Nay all those pleasures you 'l controul With joyning your each soul to soul Thus in Loves raptures live till you Melting dissolv into a dew And then your aery journey take So both one constellation make The Song done the Musick playes as the Bride and Bridegroom goeth FINISH The women in the mean time squeeks Gives him the two swords The Comedy named the Several Wits The wise Wit the wild Wit the cholerick Wit the humble Wit The Names of the Persons MOnsieur Generosity Monsieur Nobilissimo Monsieur Perfection Monsieur Importunate Monsieur Bon Compaignon Monsieur Profession Monsieur Comorade Monsieur Discretion Monsieur Compliment Doctor Freedom a Doctor of Physick Madam Mere Madamosel Caprisia Madamosel Doltche Madamosel Solid Madamosel Volant A Grave Matron Madamosel Doltches Nurse Two Maid-servants PROLOGUE THis Play I do present to Lady wits And hope the wit each several humour fits For though all wit be wit as of wit kind Yet different be as men not of one mind For different men hath different minds we know So different Wits in different humours flow The cholerick Wit is rough and salt as brine The humble Wit flows smooth in a strait line A wise Wit flows in streams fresh pure and clear Where neither weeds nor troubled waves appear But a wild wit in every ditch doth flow And with the mudde doth soul and filthy grow THE COMEDY NAMED THE SEVERAL WITS ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Madamosel Caprisia and her maid MAID Madam Monsieur Importunate is come to visit you Madam Caprisia Did not I tell you I would receive no visits to day Maid I did tell him that you desired to be excused but he said he would not excuse you for he must see you Madam Capris. Go tell him I have taken Physick Maid I did tell him so but he said he would stay untill it had done working Madam Capris. I would it were working in his belly Ex. Scene 2. Enter Madamosel Volante and Monsieur Bon Compaignon BOn Compaignon Lady hearing of your great wit I am come to prove report Madam Volante You will find him a lyer Sir Bon Compaignon I had rather report should be a lyer than I a Lover Madam Volante Why then we agree in a mind for I had rather be thought a fool than to be troubled with a fools company Bon Compaignon You need not be troubled with that for love is strongest absented Madam Volante O! but there is an old Proverb that love will break thorough stone-walls wherefore if you be in love you will haunt me like a Fairy no locks nor bolts will keep you out for fairy love will creep thorough a creavice Bon Compaignon Faith Lady I find now that love is the Queen of Fayries for it hath crept thorough the key-hole of my eares and hath got into my head and their dances such roundelayes as makes my brain dissie Madam Volante If once your brain begins to be dissie your senses will stagger and your reason will fall down from its feat and when the reason is displaced and the wit is distemper'd the mind become mad and to prevent the mischief that may follow I will depart in time Ex. Scene 3. Enter Madamosel Caprisia as at the door meets Monsieur Importunate he stops her passage MOnsieur Importunate You shall not pass untill you have paid me a tribute Madam Caprisia What Tribute Monsieur Importunate A kiss Madam Capris. I will pay no such tribute for I will bring such a number of words armed with such strong reasons as they shall make my way Monsieur Importunate Your words will prove poor Pilgrims which come to offer at the Altar of my lips Madam Capris. Nay rather than so they shall come as humble Petitioners and as it were kneeling at your heart shall with innocency beg for gentle civility Monsieur Importunate I will shut the gates of my ears against them and my lips as a bar shall force them back being a precise factious rout Madam Capris. Satire shall lead my sharp words on break ope those gates and anger like consuming fire shall both destroy your will and base desire Monsieur Importunate I will try that Madam Capris. But I will rather make a safe retreat than venture least your rude strength might overcome my words She goeth back he follows her Monsieur Importunate I will march after at the heels of you Ex. Scene 4. Enter Madamosel Doltche and Monsieur Compliment DOltche Sir you prayse me so much as I may doubt or rather believe you flatter me for it is not possible to be so rare a creature as you express me to be unless I were something divine perchance I may be worthy of some of your inferiour Prayses but not all your high and mighty ones Monsieur Compliment You are more
than either I can express or think you to be Mad. Doltche Nay if I be above your thoughts I am above your delight for man-kind takes no great pleasure in that they comprehend not Mons. Compliment I believe you do not comprehend how well I love you Mad. Doltche No truely for love is like infinite it hath no circumference wherefore I will not trouble my self in loves wayes since it is an endlesse journey Mons. Compliment But surely Lady though you cannot find that worth in me as merits your esteem and affection yet you will favour me for your lathers command and love me for his desire Doltche If my Father desires me to dye I shall satisfie his desire for it is in my power to take away my own life when I will but it is not in my power to love those my Father would have me for love is not to be commanded nor directed nor governed nor prescribed for love is free and not to be controuled Also I may marry a man my Father desires me but sure my Father will not desire nor command me to marry if I cannot love the man he would have me marry as I ought to do a Husband Ex. Scene 5. Enter Madam Caprisia and a Grave Matron MAtron Madamosel Caprisia there is a Gentleman one of my acquaintance doth desire to see you Madam Capris. He desires more than I do for I never see a man but I wish a vail before my sight or one before his Matron Have you taken a surfeit of eyes as you hate to look on a mans face Madam Capris. Yes of wanton eyes that skips from face to face which makes me love the blind Matron I wonder whether the soul may be satisfied or surfeit as the senses do Capris. The thoughts passions and appetites which are begot betwixt the soul and senses will surfeit if they be over-fed Enter Monsieur Bon Compaignon Bon Compaignon What is that Lady that is over-fed Capris. A fools-head Bon Compaignon How can a fools head be over-fed Capris. With hearing and seeing more than it can digest into understanding Bon Compaignon You have not such a head Lady for your head is so full of wit as it perpetually flows thorough your lips yet whatsoever it doth receive the Son of reason doth digest and refines into spirits of senses Capris. I must confess my tongue is more fertil than my brain the which comes more words from the one than sense or reason from the other but least I should over-fill your ears with my idle talks I will leave you Ex. Bon Compaignon And I will follow you for my ears are unsatisfied having but a taste of her wit which makes a greater appetite Bon Compaignon and Matron Ex. Scene 6. Enter Madamosel Solid Monsieur Profession and Monsieur Comorade his friend MOnsieur Prosession Lady you live as if you lived not living so solitary a life Lady Solid Indeed few doth live as they should that is to live within themselves for the soul which is the supream part of the life is never at home but goeth wandering about from place to place from person to person and so from one thing to another and not only the soul wanders thus but all the Family of the soul as the thoughts and passions for should any thing knock at the gates of the soul which are the senses or enter the chambers of the soul which is the heart and the head they would find them empty for the thoughts and passions which passions are of the Bed-chamber which is the heart and Presence-chamber which is the head wherein they ought to wait are for the most part all gone abroad as for the thoughts they are gone to inquire news walking and running into every Village Town City and Country and Kingdom all to inquire what such and such persons said or acted and the particular affairs of every particular person and every particular Family as whether they increase with riches or decay with poverty whether they live beyond their means or keep within their compasse what men and women are in love who are constant and who are false what contracts are signed or what contracts are broken who marries and who lives single lives who is happy in marriage and who is not what children is born who hath children and who hath none who is handsome and who is ill-favoured who dyes and of what diseases they died of whether they left wealth or were poor or who were their Heirs or Executors who are Widowers Widows or Orphants who hath losses crosses and misfortunes who is in favour or disgrace with such Princes or States who is at Law what suits there is lost or gained what bribes were given and taken who was arrested or imprisoned for debts or set in the Pillary or Stocks for disorder or cast into the Counter for misdemeanour who is accused or imprisoned for Robbery Murther or Treason who is condemned or reprieved what deaths they died or torments indur'd what Laws there is made repeald or broke what Officers or Magistrates there are made plac'd or displac'd or put out what factions or bruleries there is what leagues and associates there is made betwixt States and Princes vvhat Wars or Peace there is or like to be betwixt such or such Kingdoms vvhat triumphs or shevvs there is or like to be vvhat Mountebanks Tumblers and Dancers there is vvhat strange Birds Beasts or Monsters there is to be seen what Drunkards Bavvds and Whores there is vvhat Duels hath been sought and the cause of their quarrels who hath lost at play and vvho hath vvon vvhat nevv fashions there is vvhat Stuffs Silks Laces and Imbroideries there is vvhat Lords Ladyes Knights or Esquires hath nevv Coaches or Liveries vvhat rich cloths they had or have what Church is most frequented vvhat Balls Masks Plays Feasts there is or like to be and many the like vain idle unusefull unprofitable inquiries observations and entertainments their thoughts imployes and vvasts their time vvith as for the passions and affections they are as much abroad as the rest of the thoughts some being vvith such and such men or such and such vvomen as first vvith one and then vvith another or vvith such a house or houses or lands or vvith such Jevvels or Place or Hangings or Pictures or the like also the passions and affections wander amongst Beasts as with such a Horse Dog Monkey or the like or with Birds as with such a Hawk Cock of the Game or prating Parrot or singing Linet or the like or the passions and affections are attending watching or seeking after such or such Offices or Commands Governments or Titles nay the very soul itself goeth after such and such designes so as it doth as it were run away from it self it follows the World and worldly things but never draws any benefit to it self but that soul that keeps at home which very few souls doth imployes it self for it self it only views the
World for knowledge yet so as it looks as out of a window on a prospect it uses the World out of necessity but not serves the World out of slavery it is industrious for its own tranquility fame and everlasting life for which it leaves nothing unsought or undone is a wise soul Monsieur Profession Madam my soul is tyed to your soul with such an undissoulable knot of affection that nothing no not death can lose it nor break it asunder wherefore wheresoever your soul doth go thine will follow it and bear it company Madam Solid Then your soul vvill be incognita for my soul vvill not know whether your soul will be with it or not Ex. Monsieur Comorade Faith Thom. it s happy for thy soul to be drawn by her magnetick soul for that may draw lead or direct thy soul to Heaven otherwise thy soul will fall into Hell with the pressure of they sins for thy soul is as heavy as crime can make it Mons. Prof. Why then the divel would have found my soul an honest soul in being full weight his true coyn the right stamp of his Picture or Figure for vvhich he vvould have used my soul vvell and if Heaven gives me not this Lady Hell take me Monsieur Comorade Certainly you may be the Divels guest but whether you will be the Ladys Husband it is to be doubted Mons. Profession Well I will do my endeavour to get her and more a man cannot do Ex. Enter Madamosel Caprisia and Monsieur Importunate MOnsieur Importunate You are the rarest beauty and greatest wit in the World Mad. Capris. Wit is like beauty and beauty is oftener created in the fancie than the face so wit oftener by opinion than in the brain not but surely there may be a real beauty and so a real wit yet that real wit is no wit to the ignorant no more than beauty to the blind for the wit is lost to the understanding as beauty is lost to the eyes and it is not in nature to give what is not in nature to receive nor in nature to shew what is not in nature to be seen so there must be eyes to see beauty and eares to hear wit and understanding to judge of both and you have neither judgments eyes nor understandings ears nor rational sense Monsieur Importunate VVhy then you have neither beauty nor wit Mad. Capris. I have both but your commendations are from report for fools speaks by rote as Parrots do Ex. Monsieur Importunate solus Monsieur Importunate She is like a Bee loaded with sweet honey but her tongue is the sting that blisters all it strikes on Ex. Scene 8. Enter Madamosel Volante and Monsieur Bon Compaignon Bon Compaignon Lady why are you so silent Madam Volante VVhy soul I speak to those that understands me not Bon Compaignon VVhy are you so difficult to be understood Mad. Volante No but understanding is so difficult to find Bon Compaignon So and since there is such a total decay of understanding in every brain as there is none to be found but in your own you will make a new Common-wealth in yours where your thoughts as wife Magistrates and good Citizens shall govern and traffick therein and your words shall be as Letters of Mart and your senses shall be as legate Embassadors that lives in other Kingdoms which takes instructions and give intelligence or rather your thoughts are destinies and fates and your words their several decrees Mad. Volante Do you think my thoughts can warrant Laws or can my words decree them Bon Compaignon I believe your thoughts are so wise and just that whatsoever they allow of must be best and your words are so witty rational positive and powerfull as none can contradict them Mad. Volante Good Sir contradict your self or Truth will contradict you Bon Compaignon Nay faith I will never take the pains to contradict my self let Truth do what she will Ex. ACT II. Scene 9. Enter Madam la Mere and her daughter Madamosel Caprisia Madam Mere Daughter did you entertain the Lady Visit civilly Mad. Capris. Yes Mother extraordinary civilly for I gave her leave to entertain herself with her own discourse Mad. Mere That was rudely Mad. Capris. O no for certainly it is the height of courtship to our sex to let them talk all the talk themselves for all women takes more delight to discourse themselves than to hear another and they are extreamly pleased if any listens or at lest seems to listen to them For the truth is that talking is one of the most luxurious appetites women have wherefore I could not be more civiller than to bar and restrain the effeminate nature in my self to give her tongue liberty Madam Mere But you should have spoken a word now and then as giving her civilly some breathing rest for her discourse to lean upon Mad. Capris. Her speech was so strong and long-winded as it run with a full speed without stop or stay it neither need spurre nor whip the truth is it had been well if it had been held in with the bridle of moderation for it ran quite beyond the bounds of discretion although sometimes it ran upon the uneven wayes of slander other times upon the stony ground of censure and sometimes in the soul wayes of immodesty and often upon the furrows of non-sense besides it did usually skip over the hedges of Truth and certainly if the necessities of nature and the separations of Neigh-bourhood and the changes and inter-course of and in the affairs of the VVorld and men did not forcibly stop sometimes a womans tongue it would run as far as the confines of death Mad. Mere But let me tell you Daughter your tongue is as sharp as a Serpents sting and will wound as cruelly and deadly where it bites Capris. It proves my tongue a womans tongue Mad. Mere VVhy should a womans tongue have the effects of a Serpents sting Capris. The reason is evident for the great Serpent that tempted and so perverted our Grandmother Eve in Paradise had a monstrous sting and our Grandmother whetted her tongue with his sting and ever since all her effeminate rase hath tongues that stings Ex. Scene 10. Enter Madamosel Doltche and Monsieur Bon Compaignon BOn Compaignon Lady Monsieur Nobilissimo is so in love with you as he cannot be happy untill you be his wife Doltche I wonder he should be in love with me since I have neither beauty to allure him nor so much riches as to intice him nor wit to perswade him to marry me Bon Compaignon But Lady you have vertue good nature sweet disposition gracefull behaviour which are sufficient Subjects for love to settle on did you want what you mentioned out you have all not only what any man can with or desire with a wife but you have as much as you can wish and desire to have your self Doltche I will rather be so vain as to strive to believe you than
unchaste lives would be as marks of disgrace and spots of infamie upon the Tombs of those dead Ancestors and their ashes would be full'd with their stains whereas a chast woman and a gallant man obliges both the living and the dead for they give honour to their dead Ancestors in their Graves and to those friends that are living in the World and to those that shall succeed them Besides their examples of their vertues for all Ages to take out patterns from Comorade Madam you have answered so well for your self and Sex as I can say no more in the behalf of my friend Ex. Scene 20. Enter Madam la Mere and Madamosel Caprisia her daughter MEre Daughter your tongue is so sharp as it is not only poynted but edged on both sides Capris. Use Mother will blunt the poynt and flat the edges Mere No Daughter the more 't is used the sharper it will be for words and passions are the whetstones to that Razor Capris. As long as that Razor shaves no reputation let it raze or shave what it will Ex. Scene 21. Enter Madamosel Solid Madamosel Doltche Madamosel Volante and a Grave Matron MAtron Madamosel Solid what say you to Monsieur Ralleries wit Solid I say of him as I would of a wild or skittish jade who hath only strength to kick and fling but not to travel or to bear any weight so Rallerie is antick postures and laughing reproaches not solid and judicious discourses or continued speeches the truth is a ralleying wit is like obstructed or corrupted lungs which causes difficult and short breathing So that wit is short and puffing spurting out words questions and replyes 't is squib wit or boys sport Matron Madamosel Doltche what say you of Monsieur Satericals wit Doltche As I would of frosty weather his wit is sharp but wholesome and though he hath a frowning brow yet he hath a clear soul Matron Madamosel Volante What say you of Monsieur Pedants wit Volante As I would of Leeches for as Leeches sucks bloud from the back parts of men and spues it forth when rubb'd with salt so Monsieur Pedant sucks wit from other mens pens and mouths and then spues it forth again being rubb'd with the itch of prayse But all the learned knows the wit was no more his own than the bloud that was suck'd was the Leeches Matron What say you of Monsieur Lyricks wit Volante As I would of a Bird that chirps more than sings Matron Madamosel Doltche What say you of Monsieur Tragedians wit Doltche As I would of Winter wherein is more rain than Sun-shines more storms than calms more night than day so his wit hath more melancholly than mirth causing or producing tears sighs and sadnesse the truth is his wit dwels in the shades of death Matron Madamosel Solid what say you to Monsieur Comicals wit Solid As I would of the Spring which revives and refreshes the life of every thing it is lightsom and gay So Monsieur Comicals wit is chearfull pleasant lively natural and profitable as being edifying Ex. Scene 22. Enter Madam la Mere and Madamosel Caprisia her Daughter MERE Daughter let me tell you you have brought your Hogs to a fair Market Capris. That is better than to keep them in a foul stye Mother Mere You cannot speak without crossing Capris. Nor readily crosse without speaking Mere I am sure your bitter discourses and crosse answers hath caused the Lady namely the Lady Hercules to send a rayling message by a Messenger to declare her anger for your abusive discourses against her Capris. I never mentioned her in my discourse in my life Mere But you speak against big and tall women Capris. I gave but my opinion of the size and Sex not of any particular and I may speak freely my opinion of the generalities Mere You may chance by your opinion of the generalities to be generally talk'd of Capris. VVhy then I shall live in discourse although discourse were dead in me and who had not rather live although an ill life than dye Mere But you might live so as to gain every bodyes good opinion if you would palliate your humour and sweeten your discourse and endeavour to please in conversation Capris. Which do you mean Mother either to please my self or the company Mere Why the company Capris. That is impossible for in all company there is diversities and contrarieties of humours passions appetites delights pleasures opinions judgements wits understandings and the like and for talking speaking and discoursing they are inter-changing inter-mixing reasoning arguing disputing which causes contradictions wherefore to agree in and to every humour passion opinion and discourse is impossible indeed one may seemly or truly agree and approve of any one opinion or discourse but not a diversity of discourses opinions also one may flatteringly applaud or sooth any particular persons humour but not diverse persons diverse humours but to flatter is base as to approve in their words and disapprove in their thoughts as to commend or applaud that or those that is not praise-worthy But howsoever for the soothing of any bodies humour I will never take the pains for why should I make my self a slave to the several humours of mankind who is never in one humour two minutes and why may not I think or desire to be flattered and humoured as well as others and when I am not flattered and humoured to be as much displeased at others as others at me VVherefore good Mother be not you displeased that I chose rather to displease my self than any body else besides your self Mere You will follow your own wayes Daughter Capris. I cannot walk safer than in my own ground Mother Ex. Scene 23. Enter Monsieur Perfection and Madamosel Solid SOlid Dear Mistress I fear my absence hath made you forget me Solid No certainly I cannot forget you by reason my brain is hung about with the memory of your worthy nature and meritorious actions which my love doth admire and takes delight for to view each several piece and part Perfection Do you love me Solid How can I chose but love when in my infancy such a number of words in your praise was thrown into my ears like seeds into the Earth which took root in my heart from which love sprouted forth and grew up with my years Perfection And will you be constant Solid As day is to the Sun Perfection Do you speak truth Solid Truly I have been bred up so much and so long in the wayes of truth as I know no tract of dissembling and therefore certainly my words will ever keep within the compass of Truth and my actions will alwaies turn and run with that byas but why do you seem to doubt in making such questions Perfection I will truly confess I have heard that since I have been in the Countrey you had entertained another Lover Solid It 's false but false reports is like breathing upon a pure and clear Glasse it dimns it for a time
expresse himself in such high poetical Raptures for his discourse is plain and ordinary Nobilissimo Nay sometimes his discourse is extraordinary as when he hath Wars but Nurse thou art old and the fire of love if ever thou hadst any is put out by old Father Times extinguisher Doltche True love never dyes nor can time put it out Nobilissimo 'T is true but Nurse seems by her speech as if she had never known true love for true love as it alwaies burns clear so it alwaies flames high far infinite is the fewel that feeds it Nurse Well well young Lovers be not so confident but let me advise you to ballance reason on both sides with hopes and doubts and then the judgement will be steady Nobilissimo But in the scales of love Nurse nothing must be but confidence Nurse Yes there must be temperance or love will surfeit and dye with excess Doltche Love cannot surfeit no more than souls with grace or Saints of Heaven Ex. Scene 37. Enter Madamosel Caprisia alone CApris. My smiles shall be as Baits my eyes as Angels where every look shall be a hook to catch a heart I 'l teach my tongue such art to plant words on each heart as they shall take deep root from whence pure love shall spring my lips shall be as flowery banks whereon sweet Rhethorick grows and cipherous fancy blows from which banks love shall wish to gather Posies of kisses where every single kisse shall differ as Roses Pinks Violets Primroses and Daffidillies and the breath therefrom shall be as fragant as the touch soft thereon and as the Sun doth heat the Earth so shall my imbraces heat my Lovers thoughts with self-conceit which were before like water frozen with a dejected and despairing cold Hay ho Ex. ACT V. Scene 38. Enter Monsieur Profession and Madamosel Solid PRofession Dear Mistress you are the only She that is fit to be crown'd the sole Empresse of the World Solid Let me tell you Sir I had rather be a single Shepheardesse than the sole Empress of the World for I would not be a Mistress of so much power to be as a Servant to so much trouble Profession But put the case Alexander were alive and would crown you Empress of the World you would not refuse that honour but accept of it for the sake of renown Solid Yes I should refuse it for if I could not get renown by my own merits I should wish to dye in Oblivion for I care not Nay I despise such honours and renowns as comes by derivations as being deriv'd from another and not inherent in my self and it is a poor and mean renown that is gain'd or got only by receiving a gift from a fellow-creature who gives out of passion appetite partiality vain-glory or fear and not for merit or worthsake wherefore no gifts but those that comes from the Gods or Nature are to be esteem'd or received with thanks but were to be refused had man the power to chose or to deny Profession Sweet Mistress nature hath crown'd you with beauty and wit and the Gods hath given you a noble soul Solid I wish they had for the Gods gifts are not like to mans and natures crown is beyond the golden crown of Art which are greater glories than Power Wealth Title or Birth or all the outward honours gain'd on Earth but I desire the Gods may crown my soul with reason and understanding Heaven crown my mind with Temperance and Fortitude Nature crown my body with Health and Strength time crown my life with comely and discreet age Death crown my separation with peace and rest and Fame crown my memory with an everlasting renown thus may my creation be to a happy end Profession Gods Fortune and Fates hath joyned to make me happy in your love and that which will make me absolutely happy is that I shall marry you and imbrace you as my wife Solid The absolute happiness is when the Gods imbraces man with mercy and kisses him with love Ex. Scene 39. Enter Madamosel Caprisia CApris. Hay ho who can love and be wise but why do I say so For reason loves wisely 't is only the mistaken senses that loves foolishly indeed the sense doth not love but fondly and foolishly affects for it 't is an humoursome and inconstant appetite that proceeds from the body and not that noble passion of true love which proceeds from the soul But O! what a ridiculous humour am I fallen into from a cholerick humour into an amorous humour Oh! I could tear my soul from my body for having such whining thoughts and such a mean submissive croaching feigning flattering humour and idle mind a cholerick humour is noble to this for it is commanding and seems of an heroick spirit but to be amorous is base beastly and of an inconstant nature Oh! How apt is busie life to go amisse What foolish humours in mans mind there is But O! The soul is far beyond the mind As much as man is from the beastly kind Ex. Scene 40. Enter Madamosel Volante and Doctor Freedom DOctor Are you weary of your life that you send me for you said you would not send for me untill you had a desire to dye Volante True Doctor and if you cannot cure me kill me Doctor In my conscience you have sent for me to play the wanton Volante Why Doctor If I do not infringe the rules and laws of modesty or civility I cannot commit wanton faults Doctor Yes faith your tongue may play the wanton Volante Indeed Doctor I had rather tell a wanton truth than a modest lye Doctor Well what is your disease Volante Nay that you must guesse I can only tell my pains Doctor Where is your pain Volante In my heart and head Doctor Those be dangerous parts but after what manner are your pains Volante On my heart there lyes a weight as heavy as the World on Atlas shoulders and from my melancholly mind arises such damps of doubts as almost quenches out the fire of life did not some hope though weak which blows with fainting breath keep it alive or rather puffs than blows which intermitting motions makes my pulse unequal and my bloud to ebbe and flow as from my heart unto my face and from my face unto my heart again as for my head it feels drousie and my spirits are dull my thoughts uneasily doth run crossing and striving to throw each other down this causes broken sleeps and frightfull dreams and when I awake at every noyse I start with fears my limbs doth shake Doctor VVhy this disease is love wherefore I cannot cure you for love no more than wit can neither be temper'd nor yet be rul'd for love and wit keeps neither moderate bounds nor spares diet but dyes most commonly of a surfeit Volante O yes discretion can cure both Doctor Then send for Monsieur Discretion and hear what he sayes to you for your disease is past my skil Volante By your industry
shades to find thee out O! O death quick dispatch Let me unprisoned be my body is old decayed and worn times ruins shews it Oh! Oh! let life fall for pitty pull it down stops a time Am I not dead you cruel powers above to lengthen out an old mans life in misery and pain why did not Time put out the sight of both my eyes and also deaf my ears that I might neither hear nor see the death of my lifes joy O Luxurious Death how greedily thou feedst on youth and beauty and leist old Age hang withering on lifes tree O shake me off let me no longer grow if not grief shall by force snip off my tender stalk and pitty lay me in the silent grave Heark Heark I hear her call me I come I come Childe He feches a great sigh O no she is gone she is gone I saw her dead her head hung down like as a Lilly whose stalk was broke by some rude blusterous wind He stares about There there I see her on her dutious knee Her humble eyes cast to the ground Her spotlesse hands held up for blessings crave asking forgivenesse for faults not done O no She is dead She is dead I saw her eye-lids cloze like watry Clouds which joyn to shut out the bright Sun and felt her hands which Death made cold and numb like as to Cristal balls She is gone she is gone and restless grows my mind thoughts strive with thoughts struggle in my brain passions with passions in my heart make War My Spirits run like furies all about Help help for Heavens sake and let life out Ex. Scene 15. Enter the Lady Mother Love alone LAdy Mother Love O my daughter my daughter is dead she is dead Oh that ever I was born to bear a Childe to dye before me Oh she was the Comfort of my Heart the pleasure of my Eyes the delight of my life Oh she was Good she was Sweet she was Fair O what shall I do what shall I do Ex. Scene 16. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love half distracted SIr Thomas Father Love Mercury lend me thy winged feet that I may fly to Heaven there to observe how all the Gods and Godesses doe gaze upon my Beautiful Childe for she is fairer than the light that great Apollo gives and her discourse more ravishing than the Musick of the Spheres but as soon as she sees me she will leave them all and run unto me as she used to do kneeling will kiss my hands which she must not do being a Goddess and I a Mortal wherefore I must kneel to her and carry her an offering but what shall the offering be Let me think Why I will kneel and offer up my Aged life unto her Memory but now I think of it better I cannot dye in Heaven wherefore let me Study let me Study what she did love best when she lived upon the Earth O I now remember when I did ask her what she lov'd best she would Answer her Father and her Fame but I believe if she were here it would be a hard Question for her to resolve which she preferr'd and being not to be separated in Affection we will not part in our Resurrection wherefore Mercury farewel for I will fly up with the Wings of her good Fame And carry up her Wit and there will strow It on Heavens floor as bright as Stars will show Her Innocency shall make new Milky waies Her Virtue shall Create new Worlds to praise Her never-dying Name Ha Ho! It shall be so it shall be so Ex. ACT IV. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Innocence alone studious with her eyes to the ground thou casting them up speaks LAdy Innocence I am not so much in love with the World as to desire to live nor have I offended Heaven so much as to be afraid to dye then way should I prolong my life when Honour bids me dye for what Noble Soul had not rather part with the Body than live in Infamy Then t is not Death that affrights me and yet I find my Soul is loath to leave its bodily Mansion but O to be buried in Oblivions grave is all I fear no Monumental Fame nor famous Monument my Soul displeases that makes it loath to leave the body in forgotten dust whilst it doth sadly wander in the Aire She walks a turn or two as in a musing thought then speaks Soul be at ease for the Memory of the dead is but like a dying Beauty vades by degrees or like a Flower whither'd hath neither Sent Colour nor Tast but moulders into dust so hath the mind no form of what is past But like as formless heaps those Objects lye And are intomb'd in the dark Memory O Foolish Vanity to be so much a slave to Fame since those that Fame doth love the best and favoureth most are not Eternal Wherefore Nature perswades me to release my woe Though foolish Superstition Natures foe Forbids it yet Reason aloud sayes dye Since Ease Peace Rest doth in the grave still lye Walkes about as in a silent musing then speaks I am resolv'd then Come sweet Death thou friend that never fails give me my liberty But stay my hasty resolution for I would not willingly go to the grave as beasts doe without Ceremony for I being friendless those humane Funeral rites will be neglected none will take the pains nor be at the charge to see them perform'd but some base vulgar person will throw me into the Earth without respect or regard wherefore I will Living perform the Ceremonies and as a guess or friend be at my own Funeral it shall be so and I will prepare it Ex. Scene 18. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love alone and for a time walkes as in a musing or thinking with his eyes cast on the ground then speaks FAther Love Multitudes of Melancholy thoughts croud in my brain And run to pull down Reason from his Throne Fury as Captain leads the way Patience and Hope is trod upon O these distracted thoughts burrie my Soul about Seeking a place to get a passage out But all the Ports are stopp'd O Cursed Death for to prolong a life that is so weary of its Mansion Enter Mr. Comfort Sir Thomas Father Loves friend Friend Sir will you give order for your Daughters Funeral and direct how you will have her interred Father Love How say you why I will have you rip my body open and make it as a Coffin to lay her in then heave us gently on sighs fetcht deep and lay us on a Herse of sorrowful groans then cover us with a Dark Black Pitchy Spungy Cloud made of thick Vapour drawn from bleeding hearts from whence may tears of showers run powring down making a Sea to drown remembrance in But O remembrance is a fury grown Torments my Soul now she is gone Friend Sir where there is no remedy you must have patience Father Love Patience out upon her she is an Idle lazy Gossip and keep
Funeral Oration Friend Why Sir your distemper hath so disordered all your Family as it was not thought of Father Love She shall not go to the Grave without due Praises if I have life to speak them Wherefore raise me up and carry me to the Holy place before her Herse thus in my Chair sick as I am For I will speak her Funeral Oration although with my last words Thus will I be carryed living to my Grave He is carried out in a Chair by Servants Ex. Scene 21. Enter the Lord de l' Amour alone as in a Melancholy humour LOrd de l'Amour When I do think of her my mind is like a tempestuous Sea which foams and roars and roles in Billows high My brain like to a Ship is wracked and in it's ravenous Waves my heart is drowned And as several winds do blow so several thoughts do move some like the North with cold and chilly Fears others as from the South of hot Revenge do blow As from the East despairing storms do rise A Western grief blows tears into mine eyes Walks about and weeps Enter Master Charity his Friend Mr. Charity My Lord why are you so melancholy for that which is past and cannot be help'd Lord de l'Amour Oh! the remembrance of her death her cruel death is like the Infernal Furies torments my soul gives it no case nor rest For sometimes my soul is flung into a Fire of Rage That burns with furious pain And then with frozen despair it rips it up again But I unjust and credulous I was the cause of her untimely death Enter the Maid that accused her Falshood O my Lord forgive me for I have murdered the innocent Lady you grieve for for my false Accusation was the hand that guided the dagger to her heart but my Ladies command was the Thief that stole the Chain for she commanded me to take the Chain and accuse the Lady of the Theft for which she gave me the Chain for a reward This I will witnesse by oath unto you and all the World For it is heavier than a world upon my Conscience Lord de l'Amour Why did your Lady so wicked an act Falshood Through Jealousie which bred Envy Envy Malice Malice Slander and this Slander hath produce Murder Enter Informer the other Maid Informer Oh my Lady My Lady hath hanged her self for when she heard Falshood was gone to tell your Lordship the truth of the Chain she went into a base place and hung her self and upon her breast I found this written Paper She gives it de l'Amour to read Lord de l'Amour It is the Lady Incontinents Hand-writing He reads it I have been false to my Marriage-bed lived impudently in the sin of Adultery in the publick face of the World I have betray'd the trust imposed to my charge slandered the Innocent poysoned the Instrument I imployed Falshood All which being summ'd up was worthy of hanging Falshood falls down dead Lord de l'Amour She hath sav'd me a labour and kept my Heroick Honour free from the stains of having laid violent hands on the Effeminate Sex Friend What shall be done with this dead Body Lord de l'Amour Let her Ladies body with hers be thrown into the Fields to be devoured of Beasts Ex. ACT V. Scene 22. Enter the Funeral Herse of the Lady Sanspareile covered with white Satine a silver Crown is placed in the midst her Herse is born by six Virgins all in white other Virgins goe before the Herse and strew Flowers white Lillies and white Roses The whilst this Song is sung SPOtlesse Virgins as you go Wash each step as white as Snow With pure Chrystal streams that rise From the Fountain of your eyes Fresher Lillies like the day Strew and Roses as white as they As an Emblem to disclose This Flower sweet short liv'd as those The whilst her Father is carryed as sick in a Chair the Chair covered with black and born black by Mourners he himself also in close Mourning when they have gone about the Stage The Herse is set neer to the Grave there being one made Then the Father is placed in his Chair upon a raised place for that purpose the raised place also covered with Black he being placed speaks her Funeral Sermon Father Love Most Charitable and Noble Friends that accompany the Dead Corps to the Grave I must tell you I am come here although I am as a Dead Man to the World yet my desire is to make a living Speech before I go out of the world not only to divulge the Affections I had for my Daughter but to divulge her Virtue Worth and good Graces And as it is the custome for the nearest Kindred or best and constantest Friends or longest acquaintance to speak their Funeral Oration wherein I take my self to be all wherefore most fit to speak her Funeral Oration For I being her Father am her longest acquaintance and constantest Friend and nearest in Relation wherefore the fitest to declare unto the world my natural and Fatherly Love Death will be a sufficient witnesse For though I am old yet I was healthful when she lived but now I cannot live many hours neither would I for Heaven knows my affections struggle with Death to hold Life so long as to pay the last Rites due to her dead Corps struck by Death's cruel Dart But most Noble and Charitable Friends I come not here with eye fil'd with salt tears for sorows thirsty Jaws hath drunk them up sucked out my blood left my Veins quite dry luxuriously hath eat my Marow out my sighs are spent in blowing out Life's Fire only some little heat there doth remain which my affections strive to keep alive to pay the last Rites due to my dead Child which is to set her praises forth for living Virtuously But had I Nestors years 't would prove too few to tell the living Stories of her Youth for Nature in her had packed up many Piles of Experience of Aged times besides Nature had made her Youth sweet fresh and temperate as the Spring and in her brain Flowers of Fancies grew Wits Garden set by Natures hand wherein the Muses took delight and entertained themselves therein Singing like Nightingales late at Night or like the Larks ere the day begin Her thoughts were as the Coelestial Orbes still moving circular without back ends surrounding the Center of her Noble mind which as the Sun gave light to all about it her Virtues twinkled like the fixed Starrs whose motion stirs them not from their fix'd place and all her Passions were as other starres which seemed as only made to beautifie her Form But Death hath turned a Chaos of her Form which life with Art and Care had made and Gods had given to me O cursed death to rob and make me poor Her life to me was like a delightful Mask presenting several interchanging Scenes describing Nature in her several Dresses and every Dresse put in a
desire to be your Shepheard and you my fair Shepheardess attending loving thoughts that feed on kisses sweet folded in amorous arms Poor Virtue My mind never harbors wanton thoughts nor sends immodest glances forth nor will infold unlawful love for chastity sticks as fast unto my Soul as light unto the Sun or heat unto the fire or motion unto life or absence unto death or time unto eternity and I glory more in being chast than Hellen of her beauty or Athens of their learning and eloquence or the Lacedemonions of their Lawes or the Persians of their Riches or Greece of their Fables or the Romans of their Conquests and Chastity is more delightfull to my mind than Fancy is to Poets or Musick to the Ears or Beauty to the Eyes and I am as constant to Chastity as truth to Unity and Death to life for I am as free and pure from all unchastity as Angels are of sin Poor Virtue goes out Lord Title alone Lord Title I wonder not so much at Fortunes gifts as Natures curiosities not so much at Riches Tittle and power as Beauty VVit and Virtue joyn'd in one besides she doth amaze me by expressing so much learning as if she had been taught in some famous Schools and had read many histories and yet a Cottager and a young Cottager t is strange Ex. Scene 15. Enter the Lord Courtship and Mr. Adviser ADviser My Lord doth my Counsel take good effect Lord Courtship Yes faith for she seems to take it very patiently or elce she is so dull a Creature as she is not sensible of any injury that 's done her Adviser How doth she look when you adress and salute your Mistriss Lord Courtship She seems to regard us not but is as if she were in a deep contemplation of another world Adviser I think she is one of the fewest words for I never heard her speak Lord Courtship Faith so few as I am in good hope she is tongue-tyed or will grow dumb Adviser That would be such a happiness as all married men would envy you for Lord Courtship They will have cause for there is nothing so tedious as talking women they speak so constraintly and utter their Nonsence with such formality and ask impertinent questions so gravely or else their discourse is snip snap or so loud and shrill as deafs a mans ears so as a man would never keep them Company if it were not for other reasons Adviser Your Lordship speaks as if you were a woman-hater Lord Courtship O Pardon me for there is no man loves the Sex better than I yet I had rather discourse with their beauty than their wits besides I only speak of generalities not particularities Ex. Scene 16. Enter the Lady Contemplation and Sir Humphrey Interruption INterruption Lady pray make me partaker of some of your conceptions Contempl. My conceptions are like the tongue of an extemporary Oratour that after he hath spoke if he were to speak upon the same subject he could hardly do it if it were not impossible just to speak as he did as to express the same subjects in the same expressions and way of his natural Rhetorick for the sense may be the same but the expressions way of Rhetorick wil hardly be the same but 't is likely will be very different and so differing as not to be like the same but the same premeditated Rhetorick will many times serve to many several designs or preaching pleading or speaking the Theam or cause being altered This is the difference betwixt extemporary Oratory and premeditated Oratory the one may be spoke as many times as an Orator will and make the same Oratory serve to many several Subjects the other being not fixt but voluntary vanishes out of the remembrance the same many times do my conceptions Interrup. But I hope all are not vanished some remain wherefore pray expresse or present any one of your conceptions after what manner of way you please Contempl. Why then I will tell you I had a conception of a Monster as a Creature that had a rational soul yet was a Fool It had had a beautiful and perfect shape yet was deformed and ill-favoured It had clear distinguishing senses and yet was sencelesse It was produced from the Gods but had the nature of a Devil It had an eternal life yet dyed as a Beast It had a body and no body Interrup. What Monster call you this Contempl. I call him Man Interrup. This is a Man of your own conception Contemp. A man of Natures creating is as monstrous for though man hath a rational soul yet most men are fools making no use of their reason and though Man hath a beautiful and perfect shape yet for the most part they make themselves deformed and ill-favoured with antick postures violent passions or brutish vices and man hath clear distinguishing Senses yet in his sleep or with fumes or drink he is sencelesse Man was produced immediately from the Gods yet man being wicked and prone to evil hath by evil wickednesse the nature of a Devil Man 't is said shall live for ever as having an eternal life yet betwixt this life and the other he dyes like a Beast and turns to dust as other Creatures do but the only difference between the man Nature creates and the man my Conceptions create is that Natures man hath a real substance as a real body whereas my conceptive man is only an Idea which is an incorporal man so as the body of my concepted man is as the soul of Natures created man an incorporality Ex. Scene 17. Enter the Lord Title and Mall Mean-bred LOrd Title Well I have lost my first Course in Love and now like an angry bloody Gray-hound I will down with the first I meet were she as innocent as a Dove or as wise as a Serpent down she goes Enter Mall Mean-bred But soft here 's Loves game and I le flye at her Fair One for so you are Mall Mean-bred Truly Sir I am but a Blouse Lord Title Think better of your self and believe me Mall Mean My Father hath told me I must not believe a Gentleman in such matters Lord Title Why sweetest I am a Lord Mall Mean A Lord Lord blesse your Worship then but my Father gave me warning of a Lord he said they might nay say and swear too and do any thing for they were Peers of the Realm there was no medling with them he said without a Rebellion blesse me from a Lord for it is a naughty thing as they say I know not Lo. Title Do you value me so little when I can make you an Apocryphal Lady Mall Mean The Apocrypha forsooth is out of my Book I have been bred purer than to meddle with the Apocrypha the Gods blesse us from it and from all such ill things Lo. Title Well in short will you love me Mall Mean I am so ashamed to love a Lord forsooth that I know not how to behave my self Lo. Title
proud and carry the out-side of a Gentleman will do so La. Ward Certainly Nurse they are but Bastard Gentry or else they are degenerated Nurse Careful An incipid Branch may spring from a sound Root many a withered and rotten Plum may hang on a good Tree La. Ward And do Wives play the Bauds for their Husbands as the Husbands play the Pimps for their Wives Nurse Care Most often for they will make Gossiping meetings on purpose for their Husbands to Court other women for they know when their Husbands minds are fill'd with amorous love they will not muse upon their actions nor examine their wayes besides when as the Husband would take his liberty without disturbance he will wink at the liberty his wife takes and so will be procures for each other and the Ladys acquaintance are Confidents La. Ward Confidents what is that Nurse Nurse Careful Why it is thus two Ladies make friendship or at least call Friends and if any man desires to be a Courtly Servant to one of them he addresses himself to the other and expresses what Passions and Affections he hath for her friend and so makes his complaints and affections known to her whereupon she recommends his addresses and service to her Friend thus doing a friendly Office by carrying and declaring his professions and returning her Friends civil answers appointing places for each others love-meetings the other will do as much for her La. Ward Why this is a Baud Nurse Care O peace Child for if any body heard you say so they would laugh at you for a Fool but 't is a sign you never was a Courtier for I knew a young Lady that went to Court to be a Maid of Honour and there were two young Ladies that were Confidents to each other and a great Prince made love to one of them but adddrest himself to the other as being her Friend this young Maid askt why he did so it was answered she was the Princes Mistresse Confident and just as you ask me what said she is a confident a Baud whereupon the whole Court laught at her and for that only question condemned her to be a very Fool nay a meer Changling La. Ward VVell Nurse say what you will Confident is but a Courtly name for a Baud Ex. Scene 20. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely and Mall Mean-bred SIR Effeminate Lovely Those wandering Stars that shine like brightest day are fixt on me the Center of your love This following Scene was writ by the Lord Marquess of New-castle Mall Mean-bred O Heavens Sir Effem. Lovely Happy to touch those Lillies in your cheeks mingled with Roses loves perfumed bath Mall Mean-bred They grow forsooth in our Garden Sir Effem. Lovely You are the Garden of all sweets for love your blushing lips of the Vermillion die and those twin cherries give me leave to taste Mall Mean-bred Truly Sir I understand no Latin but I will call our Vicar to you and he shall expound Sir Effem. Lovely No dearest Dear my lovely Dear my dearest Love my lovelyest Dear Mall Mean-bred I never cost you any thing as yet Sir Sir Effem. Lovely Why then no Lady of Arcadie bred Mall Mean-bred Truly Sir this is as our Vicar saith like Hebrew without poynts to be read backwards say any thing forward in Notthingham-shire speak that I may guess at and I will answer your VVorship though truly it is as fine as ever I understood not Effem. Lovely Why then sweet heart I love you and would gladly enjoy you Mall Mean-bred O fie enjoy is a naughty word forsooth if it please you Effem. Lovely It would please me your thoughts of what you mince Mall Mean-bred Thoughts are free forsooth and I love whole joints without mincing Effem. Lovely Why then in plain English I would have your Maiden-head Mall Mean-bred O dear how will you get it can you tell Truely truely I did not think such naughty words would come forth of so fine a Gentlemans mouth Effem. Lovely But tell me truely do you think me fine Mall Mean You will make me blush now and discover all so fine cloaths the Taylor of Norton never made such and so finely made unbottoned and untrust doth so become you but I do hang down my head for shame and those Linnen Boot-hose as if you did long to ride do so become you and your short Coat to hang on your left arm O sweet O sweet and then your Hat hid with so fine a Feather our Peacocks tailes are not like it and then your hair so long so finely curled and powder'd in sweets a sweeter Gentleman I never saw My love 's beyond dissembling so young so fresh so every thing I warrant you O Sir you will ravish me but yet you cannot Effem. Lovely O how you have made me thankfulnesse all over for this your bounty to me wherefore my earthly Paradise let us meet in the next Close there under some sweet Hedge to tast Loves aromatick Banquet at your Table Mall Mean O Sir you blushes I consent farewel do not betray me then you must not tell Farewell my sweetest granting of my sute Shall still inslave me and be ever mute Here ends my Lord Marquesse's Scene Ex. Scene 21. Enter Poor Virtue and Sir Golden Riches following her Golden Riches Stay lovely Maid and receive a Fortune Poor Virtue I am Fortune proof Sir she cannot tempt me Gold Rich. But she may perswade you to reason Poor Virtue That she seldome doth for she is alwayes in extremes and Extremes are out of Reason's Schools That makes all those that follow Fortune Fooles Gol. Rich. What do you Rime my pretty Maid Poor Virtue Yes Rich Sir to end my discourse Golden Riches I will make you Rich if you will receive my gifts Poor Virtue I love not gifts Sir because they often prove bribes to corrupt Gold Rich. Why what do you love then Poor Vir. I love Truth Fidelity Justice Chastity and I love obedience to lawful Authority which rather than I would willingly and knowingly infring I would suffer death Gold Rich. Are you so wilful Poor Vir. No I am so constant Gold Rich. But young Maid you ought not to deny all gifts for there are gifts of pure affection Love-gifts of Charity gifts of Humanity and gifts of Generosity Poor Virtue They are due debts and not gifts For those you call gifts of pure Love are payments to dear deserving friends and those of Charity are payments to Heaven and those of Humanity are payments to Nature and those Generosity are payments to Merit but there are vain-glorious gifts covetous gifts gifts of fear and gifts that serve as Bauds to corrupt foolish young Virgins Gold Rich. Are you so wise to refuse them Poor Vir. I am so virtuous as not to take them Ex. ACT V. Scene 22. Enter the Lady Contemplation and Lady Visitant Visitant What still musing O thou idle creature Contemp. I am not idle for I busie my self with my own fancies Visitant Fancies are like
a servant to my Mr. and Mrs. I must be dutiful and careful to their commands and on their employments they have put to me wherefore I must leave you Sir and go fold my sheep Lord Title I will help you Exeunt Scene 24 Enter Sir Golden Riches and Mall Mean-bred GOlden Rich. Sweet-heart I have no Sonnets This Scene was written by my Lord Marquiss of Newcastle Songs or stronger Lines with softer Poesie to melt your Soul nor Rhetorick to charm your Eares or Logick for to force or ravish you nor lap 't in richer cloaths embalm'd in Sweets nor Courtly Language but am an Ancient Squire by name Sir Golden Riches which hath force in all things and then in Love for Cupid being blinde he is for feeling and look here my Wench this purse is stuff'd with Gold a hundred pounds Mall Mean-bred Let me see poure it on the ground Gold Rich. I will obey thee Look here my Girl He poures it on the ground Mall Mean-bred O dear how it doth shine forsooth it almost blinds mine eyes take it away yet pray let it stay truly I know not what to do with it Gold Rich. No why it will buy you rich Gowns ap'd in the Silk-worms toyls with stockings of the softer silk to draw on your finer legs with rich lace shooes with roses that seem sweet and garters laced with spangles like twinckling Stars embalm your hair with Gessimond Pomaetums and rain Odoriferous Powders of proud Rome Mall Mean-bred O Heaven what a Wench shall I be could I get them But shall we have fine things of the Pedlar too Gold Rich. Buy all their packs and send them empty home Mall Mean-bred O mighty I shall put down all the Wenches at the May-pole then what will the Bag-piper say do you think Pray tell me for he is a jeering knave Gold Rich. Despise the Rural company and that windy bag change it for Balls with greatest Lords to dance and bring the Jerkin Fiddles out of frame Mall Mean-bred Then I shall have a Mail-Pillion and ride behind our Thomas to the dancing Gold Rich. No you shall ride in rich gilt Coaches Pages and Lacquies in rich Liveries with Gentlemen well cloath'd to wait upon you Mall Mean-bred And be a Lady then I will be proud and will not know Thomas any more nor any Maid that was acquainted with me Gold Rich. You must forget all those of your Fathers house too for I 'll get a Pedigree shall fit you and bring you Lineally descended from Great Charlemain Mall Mean-bred No I will have it from Charls wayn my Fathers Carter but I would so fain be a Lady and it might be I will be stately laugh without a cause and then I am witty and jeer sometimes and speak nonsense aloud But this Gold will not serve for all these fine things Gold Rich. Why then we will have hundreds and thousands of pounds until you be pleas'd so I may but enjoy you in my Arms Mall Mean-bred No Maid alive can hold our these Assaults Gold is the Petarr that breaks the Virgins gates a Souldier told me so VVell then my Lord Title farewel for you are an empty name and Sir Effeminate Lovely go you to your Taylor make more fine cloaths in vain I 'll stick to Riches do then what you will The neerest way to pleasure buy it still Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lady Ward alone LAdy Ward Why should Lord Courtship dislike me Time hath not plowed wrinkles in my face nor digged hollows in my cheeks nor hath he set mine eyes deep in my head nor shrunk my sinews up nor suck'd my veins dry nor fed upon my flesh making my body insipid and bate neither hath he quenched out my wit nor decay'd my memory nor ruin'd my understanding but perchance Lord Courtship likes nothing but what is in perfection and I am like a house which Time hath not fully finished nor Education throughly furnished Scene 26. Enter Poor Virtue and Sir Golden Riches meets her comming from Mall Mean-bred Golden Riches Sweet-heart refuse not Riches it will buy thee friends pacifie thy enemies it will guard thee from those dangers that throng upon the life of every creature Poor Virtue Heavenly Providence is the Marshal which makes way for the life to pass through the croud of dangers and my Vertue will gain me honest friends which will never forsake me and my humble submission will pacifie my enemies were they never so cruel Gold Rich. But Riches will give thee delight and place thee in the midst of pleasures Poor Virtue No it is a peaceable habitation a quiet and sound sleep and a healthful body that gives delight and pleasure and 't is not riches but riches many times destroy the life of the body or the reason in the soul or at least bring infirmities thereto through luxury for luxury slackens the Nerves quenches the Spirits and drowns the Brain and slackned Nerves make weak Bodies quenched Spirits timorous Minds a drowned Brain a watry Understanding which causeth Sloth Effeminacy and Simplicity Gold Rich. How come you to know so much of the world and yet know so few passages in it living obscurely in a Farmers house Poor Virtue The Astronomers can measure the distance of the Planets and take the compass of the Globe yet never travel to them nor have they Embassadors from them nor Liegers to lie therein to give Intelligence Gold Rich. How come you to be so learnedly judicious being so young poor and meanly born and bred Poor Virtue Why Fire Air Water and Earth Animals Vegetables and Minerals are Volumes large enough to express Nature and make a Scholar learn to know the course of her works and to understand many effects produced therefrom And as for Judgment and Wit they are brother and sister and although they do not alwayes and at all times agree yet are they alwayes the children of the Brain being begot by Nature Thus what Wit or Knowledge I have may come immediatly from Nature not from my Birth or Breeding but howsoever I am not what I seem Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lady Contemplation and the Lady Visitant Visitant What makes you look so sad Contempl. Why Monsieur Amorous's visit hath been the cause of the death of one of the finest Gentlemen of this Age Visitant How pray Contempl. Why thus my Imagination for Imagination can Create both Masculine and Feminine Lovers had Created a Gentleman that was handsomer and more beautiful than Leander Adonis or Narcissus valianter than Tamberlain Scanderbeg Hannibal Caesar or Alexander sweeter-natur'd than Titus the delight of mankinde better-spoken and more eloquent than Tully or Demosthenes wittyer than Ovid and a better Poet than Homer This man to fall desperately in love with me as loving my Vertues honouring my Merits admiring my Beauty wondring at my Wit doting on my Person adoring me as an Angel worshipping me as a Goddess I was his Life his Soul his Heaven This Lover courted
my affection with all the industry of Life gifts of Fortune and actions of Honour sued for my favour as if he had sued to Heaven for mercy but I as many cruel goddesses do would neither receive his obligations nor regard his vowes nor pity his tears nor hearken to his complaints but rejected his Sute and gave him an absolute denyal whereupon he was resolved to dye as believing no torments could be compared to those of my disdain and since I would not love him living he hoped by dying his death might move my pity and so beget a compassionate remembrance from me wherupon he got secretly neer my chamber-door and hung himself just where I must go out which when I saw I starred back in a great fright but at last running forth to call for help to cut him down in came Monsieur Amorous which hinderance made me leave him hanging there as being ashamed to own my cruelty and he hath been talking or rather prating here so long as by this time my kind Love is dead Visitant O no for Lovers will hang a long time before they dye for their necks are tuff and their hearts are large and hot Contempl. Well pray leave me alone that I may cut him down and give him Cordials to restore life Visitant Faith you must let him hang a little time longer for I have undertaken to make you a sociable Lady this day wherefore you must goe abroad to a friends house with me Contempl. Who I what do you think I will goe abroad and leave my Lover in a twisted string his legs hanging dangling down his face all black and swelled and his eyes almost started out of his head no no pray goe alone by your self and leave me to my Contemplation Visitant Well if you will not goe I will never see you nor be friends with you again Contempl. Pray be not angry for I will go if you will have me although I shall be but a dull companion for I shall not speak one word for wheresoever I am my thoughts will use all their Industry to cut the string and take him down and rub and chafe him against a hot fire Visitant Come come you shall heat your self with dancing and let your Lover hang Contempl. That I cannot for active bodies and active brains are never at once the one disturbs the other Visitant Then it seems you had rather have an active brain than an active body Contempl. Yes for when the brain doth work the understanding is inriched and knowledge is gained thereby whereas the body doth oft-times waste the life with too much exercise Visitant Take heed you do not distemper your brain with too much exercising your thoughts Contempl. All distempers proceed from the body and not from the minde for the minde would be well did not the humours and appetites of the body force it into a distemper Visitant Well upon the condition you will goe you shall sit still and your wit shall be the Musick Contempl. Prethee let me rest at home for to day the strings of my wit are broken and my tongue like a fiddle is out of tune Besides Contemplative persons are at all times dull speakers although they are pleasant thinkers Exeunt FINIS Written by my Lord Marquess of New-castle The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation The Actors Names Lord Title Lord Courtship Sir Fancy Poet Sir Experienced Traveller Sir Humphry Interruption Sir Golden Riches Sir Effeminate Lovely Sir John Argument Sir Vain Complement Master Inquirer Doctor Practice Old Humanity Roger Farmer Thom. Purveyor 2. Beadles Gentlemen and others Lady Amorous Lady Ward Lady Contemplation Lady Conversation Lady Visitant Poor Virtue Mistris Troublesome Mistris Gossip Mistris Messenger Lady Amorous's woman Nurse Careful Maudlin Huswife Roger Farmers wife Mall Mean-bred their daughter Mistris Troublesomes maid Servants and others The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely and Poor Virtue EFfeminate Lovely Sweet-heart you are a most Heavenly Creature Poor Virtue Beauty is created and placed oftner in the fancy than in the face Effem. Lovely 'T is said there is a Sympathy in likeness if so you and I should love each other for we are both beautiful Poor Virtue But 't is a question whether our Souls be answerable to our Persons Effem. Lovely There is no question or doubt to be made but that loving souls live in beautiful persons Poor Virtue And do those loving soules dye when their beauties are decayed and withered Effem. The subject pleads it self without the help of Rhetorick for Love and Beauty lives and dies together Poor Virtue 'T is Amorous Love that dies when Beauty is gone not Vertuous Love for as Amorous Love is bred born lives and dies with the appetite so Vertuous Love is Created and shall live with the Soul forever Effem. Lovely You may call it what love you please Poor Virtue It is no love but a disease Exeunt Scene 2. Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady Ward LOrd Courtship Why did you leave the Lady Amorous company so uncivilly as to go out of the room leaving her all alone Lady Ward I heard your Lordship was coming then I thought it was fit for me to withdraw for I have heard Lovers desire to be alone Lord Courtship Do you desire to be alone with a man Lady Ward I am no such Lover for I am too young as yet but I know not what I shall or may be wrought or brought to but time and good example may instruct and lead me into the way of amorous love Lord Courtship May it so Lady Ward Why not for I am docible and youth is apt to learn Lord Court But before I marry you I would have you learn to know how to be an obedient wife as to be content and not murmure at my actions also to please my humour but not to imitate my practice Lady Ward If I might advise your Lordship I would advise you to take such a Portion out of my Estate as you shall think just or fit and then quit me and choose such a one as you shall like for I shall never please you for though I may be apt to learn what will please my self yet I am dull and intractable to learn obedience to anothers will nor can I flatter their delights Lord Court I finde you have learned and now begin to practice how to talk for now your sober silence seems as dead and buried in the rubbish of follish words But let me tell you a talking wife will never please me wherefore practise patience and keep silence if you would enjoy the happiness of peace The Lord Courtship goes out Lady Ward alone Lady Ward There can be no peace when the mind is discontented Exit Scene 3. Enter Lord Title and Poor Vertue POor Virtue Why do you follow me so much as never to let me rest in peace and quiet alone Is it that you think I have beauty and is it
will be very industrious if you please to set me to work Enter Maudlin Huswife her Mother she falls a beating her Maudlin You idle slut do you stand loytering here when it is more than time the Cows were milk'd Mall Mean-bred flings away her milking-pail Mall Mean-bred Go milk them your self with a murrain since you are so light-finger'd Maudlin I will milk your sides first The Mother goeth to beat her again Mall Mean-bred her daughter runs away from her mother she follows her running to catch her Master Inqui. I marry Sir this is right as a Farmers daughter should be but in my Conscience the other Maid that was here before her is a bastard begot by some Gentleman Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Sir John Argument and the Lady Conversation LAdy Conversa. Let me tell you Sir Iohn Argument Love delivers up the whole Soul to the thing beloved and the truth is none but one soul can love another Argum. But Justice Madam must be the rule of Love wherefore those souls which Love must give the bodies leave to joyn Conversat. O no pure souls may converse without gross bodies Argument Were it not for the Senses Madam souls could have no acquaintance and without an acquaintance there can be no reciprocal affection and will you make the Senses which are the souls chief confidence to be strangers or enemies Conversat. I would have them converse but not interrupt Argum. The bodies must have mutual friendship and correspondency with each other or otherwise they may dissemble or betray the souls or abuse the trust loose appetites or wandring senses or contrary humours and what can interrupt Love more than the disagreement of bodies Conversat. The Senses and Appetites of the Body are but as subject to the Soul Argument But 't is impossible for Forein Princes as I will compare two loving souls unto can live in peace and mutual amity if their subjects disagree Enter Mistris Troublesome Conversat. O Mistris Troublesome you are welcome for you shall end the dispute between Sir Iohn Argument and I Troublesome If you cannot decide the Dispute your selves I shall never do it But what is the Dispute Madam Conversat. Whether there can be a perfect friendship of Souls without a reciprocal and mutual conversation and conjunctions of Bodies Troublesome Faith Madam I think it would be a very faint friendship betwixt the Souls without the Bodies Conversat. I perceive Sir Iohn Argument and you would never make Platonick Lovers Troublesome Faith Madam I think Platonick is a word without sense Argument You say right Mistris Troublesome it is an insensible love Conversat. It is the Soul of Love Troublesome What 's that Madam a Ghost or Spirit Conversat. Indeed it hath no material body Argument No for it is an incorporal thing Troublesome What is an incorporal thing Sir Iohn Argument Why nothing Troublesome Pray leave this discourse or else you will talk nonsense Argument That 's usual in Conversation Conversat. Setting aside this discourse at Mistris Troublesomes request Pray tell me how the Lady Contemplation doth Troublesome Faith Madam by the course of her life one might think she were an incorporal thing Conversat. Why Troublesome Because she makes but little use of her Body living always within her Minde Conversat. Then her Body stands but as a Cypher amongst the Figures of her thoughts Troublesome Just so by my Troth Conversat. Pray bring me acquainted with the Lady Contemplation Troublesome If it be possible I will but the Lady Visitant can do it better than I Conversat. I am resolv'd I will visit her Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady Ward LOrd Courtship What is your passion over Lady Ward My passion will strive to maintain my honour and you may take my life but as long as I live my passion will fight in the quarrel But what man of honour will make a Bawd of her he intends to make his Wife and what man of honour will be cruel to those that are weak helplesse and shiftlesse and what man of honour will be uncivil to the meanest of our Sex It is more noble to flatter us than to quarrel with us but that I have heard you are valiant I should think you were a base coward and such a one that would quarrel in a Brothel-house rather than fight in a Battel But I perceive you are one that loves Pleasure more than Honour and Life more than Fame and I hate to be in that mans company or to make a Husband whose courage lies in Voluptousness and his life in Infamy I will sooner marry Death than such a man The Lady Ward goes out Lord Courtship alone Lord Courts Her words have shot through my soul and have made a sensible wound therein How wisely she did speak how beautiful appear'd Her minde is full of honour and the actions of her life are built upon noble principles so young so wise so fair so chaste and I to use her so basely as I have done O how I hate my self for doing so unworthily Exit Scene 16. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely and Poor Virtue EFfemin. Lovely The more ground is troden on the easier the path to walk in Poor Virtue It seems so that you visit me so often Effem. Lovely Why thou art such sweet company and behav'st thy self so prettily as I cannot choose but visit thee Poor Virtue I would if I could behave my self so to the world as my indiscretion might not defame me Effem. Lovely Why do you think of a Fame Poor Virtue VVhy not since fame many times arises from poor Cottages as well as from great Palaces witness the Country labouring-man that was taken from the plough and made an Emperour as being thought sittest to rule both for Justice and VVisedome and he was more famous than those that were born of an Heroick Line and were of Royal dignity and David a shepherd became a King 'T is Merit that deserves a fame not Birth and sometimes Merit hath its desert though but seldome Effem. Lovely Thy discourse would tempt any man Poor Virtue Mistake not my discourse it hath no such devilish design for to tempt is to pervert 'T is true my Nature takes delight to delight and please others and not to crosse or displease any yet not to tempt or to delude with counterfeit demeanors or fair insinuating words smooth speech or oiled tongue to draw from Virtues side but to perswade and plead in Virtues cause Effem. Lovely Thy very looks would gain a cause before thy tongue could plead Poor Virtue Alas mans countenance is like the Sea which ebbs and flows as passion moves the minde Effem. Lovely I am sure Love moves my minde and makes it in a fiery heat Poor Virtue If it be noble Love it is like the Sun which runs about to give both light and heat to all the world that else would sit in darknesse and be both cold and steril so doth a noble minde run with industry to
give away what they have Portrait Talk not of womens souls for men say we have no souls only beautiful bodies Bon' Esprit But beautiful bodies are a degree of souls and in my Conscience please men better than our souls could do Superbe If anything prove we have no souls it is in letting men make such fools of us Matron Come come Ladies by Womens Actions they prove to have more or at least better souls than Men have for the best parts of the Soul are Love and Generosity and Women have more of either than Men have Grave Temperance The truth is that although Reason and Understanding are the largest parts of the Soul yet Love and Generosity are the delicatest parts of the Soul Enter Monsieur Heroick Heroick Goodmorrow young Ladies you appear this morning like sweet-smelling flowers some as Roses others as Lillies others as Violets Pinks and Primroses and your associating in a company together is like as a Posie which Love hath bound up into one Bucket which is a fit Present for the Gods Bon' Esprit If you would have us presented to the Gods we must die for we are never preferred to them but by Death wherefore we must be given to Death before the Gods can have us they may hear us whilest we live and we may hear of them but partake of neither until we die Heroick O that were pity Ladies for there is nothing more sad in Nature than when Death parts a witty Soul from a young beautiful Body before the one hath built Monuments of Memory and the other gained Trophies of Lovers And as for the Gods you will be as acceptable to them when you are old as when you are young Ambition As nothing could make me so sad as untimely death of Youth Wit and Beauty so there is nothing could anger me more as for Fortune to frown upon Merit or not to advance it according to its worth or to bury it in Oblivion hindring the passage into Fames Palace Temperance For my part I believe Death will neither call nor come for you before his natural time if you do not send Surfet and Excess to call him to take you away Pleasure Indeed Mankind seem as if they were Deaths Factors for they do strive to ingross and destroy all other creatures or at least as many as they can and not only other creatures but their own kinde as in Wars and not only their own kinde but themselves in idle and unprofitable Adventures and gluttonous Excess thus as I said they are Deaths Factors buying sickness with health hoping to gain pleasure and to make delight their profit but they are cozen'd for they only get Diseases Pains and Aches Matron Pray Ladies mark how far you are gone from the Text of your discourse as from sweet-smelling flowers to stinking carrion which are dead carkasses from a lively good-morrow to a dead farewel from mirth to sadness Portrait You say right Mother Matron wherefore pray leave off this discourse for I hate to hear off death for the thoughts of death affright me so as I can take no pleasure of life when he is in my mind Heroick Why Ladies the thought of death is more than death himself for thoughts are sensible or imaginable things but Death himself is neither sensible nor imaginable Portrait Therefore I would not think of him and when I am dead I am past thinking Superbe Let us discourse of something that is more pleasing than Death Heroick Then by my consent Ladies your discourse shall be of Venus and Cupid which are Themes more delightful to your Sex and most contrary to death for Love is hot and Death is cold Love illuminates life and Death quenches life out Bon Esprit Let me tell you Sir Love is as apt to burn life out as Death is to quench it out and I had rather die with cold than be burnt with heat for cold kills with a dead numness when heat kills with a raging madnesse Pleasure But Lovers are tormented with fears and doubts which cause cold sweats fainting of spirits trembling of limbs it breaks the sweet repose of sleep disturbs the quiet peace of the mind vades the colours of beauty nips or blasts the blossome of youth making Lovers look withered before Time hath made them old Heroick It is a signe Lady you have been in love you give so right a Character of a Lover Pleasure No there requires not a self-experience to find out a Lovers trouble for the outward Actions will declare their inward grief and passion Superbe Certainly she is in love but conceals it she keeps it as a Secret Pleasure Love cannot be secret the passion divulges it self Portrait Confess Are you not in love Faction Nay she will never confess a Secret unless you tell her one for those that tell no secrets shall hear none Portrait O yes for a Secret is like a child in the womb for though it be concealed for a time it will come out at last only some comes out easier than others and some before their time Ambition Nay whensoever a secret comes out it 's untimely Faction Secrets are like Coy Ducks when one is flown out it draws out others and returns with many Pleasure Then like a Coy Duck I will try if I can draw all you after me Exit Pleasure Bon' Esprit She shall see she is like a Duck which is like a Goose and we like her for we will follow her Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Monsiuer Tranquillities Peace and his Man TRanquill Peace Have you been at Monsieur Busie's house to tell him I desire to speak with him Servant Yes I have been at his house Tranquill. Peace And will he come Servant Faith Sir the house is too unwieldy to stir and Monsieur Busie is too Active to stay at home but the truth is I went at four a clock this morning because I would be sure to find him and his servants and their Master was flown out of his nest an hour before Then I told his servants I would come about dinner-time and they laugh'd and ask'd me what time was that I said I supposed at the usual time about Noon or an hour before or after but they said their Master never kept any certain time of eating being full of business Then I asked them what time that would be when he would come home to bed They answered that his time of Resting was as uncertain as his time of Eating Then I pray'd them to tell me at what time they thought I might find him at home They said it was impossible for them to guess for that their Master did move from place to place as swift as thoughts move in the Mind Then I pray'd them that they would tell him when he came home that you would desire to speak with him They told me they would but they did verily believe he would forget to come to you by reason his head was so full of busie thoughts or thoughts of
so gravely together in Councel Portrait Our chief Design is Wit Sensuality A witty Design But really what are you doing Temperance They are idly Rhyming Sensuality Hang idle Rhyming give me Reason Ambition Although our Rhymes are not good yet they are not foul by reason they are made on fair and pure Subjects Sensuality Why what are the Subjects they are made on Portrait They are made of the several Seasons and Moneths of the Year Sensuality By your favour Lady there be some of the Seasons and Months very foul Pleasure But we have Rhym'd of none but the fair Months as yet Sensuality Then let me advise you to stop your Poetical Vein for if you go farther you will meet with foul weather and rain They all speak Out out of our company Faction Do you come here to rail at our Rhymes and yet Rhyme your self and worse than any of the company Sensuality I only Rhyme to make my self Free of the Company though not of the Wits Inquisitive So you will call us fools by and by Sensuality No faith your Rhymes have named you already and so prevented me Portrait Why this is worse and worse Faction Let us seek a revenge Ambition What revenge shall we take Pleasure We will tye him to an Asses head Superbe No we will tye him to a Foxes tail Sensuality Ladies tye me to what you please so you do not tye me to a Horn Faction Yes to Altheas Horn the Horn of plenty Sensuality 'T is a sign Althea is a Woman that she gives her gifts in a Horn but I had rather starve than receive plenty in such a thing Exit Portrait Let us transform him as Acteon did Faction And follow him as his hounds did Temperance Young Ladies be not so wilde and fierce to be the hounds your selves to follow in pursuit Portrait No no we will be as Diana that transformed him Temperance Then you must be liable to the same Censure which is to be thought cruel Superbe The more Cruel our Sex is the more Chaste we are thought to be Exeunt FINIS EPILOGUE OUr Auth'ress bids me tell you She thought fit For to divide this Fair CABAL of WIT For one Play 't was too long which was her sorrow The other half if come you 'l see to morrow You 'l thank her then dividing it to make You rise with Appetites no Surfets take WIT'S Surfet 's dangerous Take the Fruition Of new-born Fancies without Repetition But hold your hands as you are men to day And as our Friends to morrow Clap our Play The Marquiss of Newcastle writ this Epilogue The Actors Names Monsieur Heroick Monsieur Tranquillitous Peace Monsieur Vain-glorious Monsieur Satyrical Monsieur Censure Monsieur Sensuality Monsieur Inquisitive Monsieur Busie Monsieur Frisk Liberty the Lady Pleasure's Gentleman-usher Madamoiselle Ambition Madamoiselle Superbe Madamoiselle Pleasure Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit Madamoiselle Faction Grave Temperance Governess to Madamoiselle Pleasure Madamoiselle Portrait Mother Matron Wanton Excess Ease Idle Surfet waiting-maids to Madamoiselle Pleasure Flattery Madamoiselle Superbe's nailing-maid Servants and others The Second Part of the Play called WITS CABAL ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition Faction Pleasure Superbe Portrait and Mother Matron enters as meeting them MAtron O Ladies there is the rarest Beauty come to the City out of the Countrey that ever was seen she surpasseth Hellen of Troy or AEneas Mother Queen Venus Pleasure If she surpasseth their Appetites as you say she doth their Beauties she may chance to fire this City with flames of Love or cause a War to destroy it Portrait Have you seen her Mother Matron Matron No but a friend of mine hath seen her Faction Perchance your friend 's a fool and knows not how to judge Matron Indeed my friend 's a woman and women have none of the best judgments Ambition But there is more probability that she hath a surpassing beauty if a woman praise her than if a man had praised her for men have a partial love to the Effeminate Sex which multiplies their beauties to their sight and makes a candle in the night seem like a Blazing Star Matron In truth and Love is dark for 't is said he is blind Portrait But Envy is quick-sighted and therefore I am afraid the Lady you speak of is surpassing since those of her own Sex can find no blemish or imperfection to cloud her from a praise Enter Monsieur Busie Busie Ladies I am come to give you intelligence of a rare Beauty that is come to this City Ambition Her Fame hath out-run your Intelligence Sir but have you seen her Busie No Lady not I Enter Monsieur Inquisitive Inquisitive Ladies there is a rare Beauty come to this Town to increase the number of your Cabal Superbe Our Cabal is of Wit not of Beauty Inquisitive It 's a Cabal of both Lady Faction Have you seen her Inquisitive No Lady but I have heard of her Beauty Enter Monsieur Sensuality Sensuality Ladies there is such a Beauty come to Town that now or never you will be out-shin'd Portrait Iupiter bless us and grant that she may not ingross to her self all Mankind and so leave all the rest of her Sex destitute and forlorn Sensuality It is to be hoped she will humble you as to bring you to be more complyant to us men than you have been Ambition Have you seen her Monsieur Sensuality Sensuality No not I Ambition Why then she is a Miracle that every one hears of but no body seeth Faction May she continue a Miracle still for I had rather that she should only be heard of than be visibly seen Sensuality But I will do my indeavour to see her Busie So will I Exit Men Pleasure I long to see her as much as the men do Ambition So do I Faction And I Superbe And I Portrait And I Ambition But how shall we compass the sight of her Portrait Faith let 's go to a Play I 'll warrant you she 'll be there Pleasure If she be we shall only see her Mask not her Face for at the common Play-houses all the Effeminate Sex sit mask'd and muffl'd Portrait Why then let us go to that Church which is most frequented as where some Famous Preachers preach and certainly if she be such a Beauty she will be there Besides there our Sex sit to the full View to Attract the Eyes of the Gods Matron No no Lady they sit to the full View to tempt the Appetites of men for they think not on the Gods nor care the Gods should think of them Pleasure Fie fie Mother Matron you will make Women damnable creatures if they could be made so by your Description But Women go to Church to present their prayers of Request and praises of Thanksgiving and not to shew themselves to men nor to tempt their Appetites as you say Matron Come come Ladies search your own Consciences and you will find I have spoke the truth for if you only went to present your prayers to the
Gods you would go as humble petitioners or sorrowful penitents cloathed in sackcloth and ashes on your head and not attir'd in gold and silver painted patch'd and curl'd unless you think the Gods are like to men to be delighted and enamour'd with Vanity Beauty and Bravery for you make the Church a Masking-room rather than a place of Devotion Portrait No we rather strive to make it like Heaven which is glorious and splendrous and the Heavenly Society is said to be beautiful Matron Yes such a Heaven where Maskers are instead of Saints Faction Why Angels are describ'd by Painters to have fine-colour'd wings and by Preachers to hold fine gold branches in their hands and the Heavens are described to us to be most gloriously adorn'd with Diamonds Rubies Pearl Emeralds Gold and Crystal which shows the Gods delight in braveries Wherefore we to delight the Gods make our selves fine and gay Matron No no Ladies you strive not to delight the Gods but to be Ador'd and Worship'd as Goddesses by the Masculine Sex whom you would have to be your Saints Superbe I know not whether we desire to be Goddesses or not But I am sure if women be as irreligious as you make them to be they will prove Devils Faction And Mother Matron here will prove the chief She-Devil amongst our Sex Matron No no Lady I 'm devour for I say my prayers every night and every morning Ambition May be so you do and all the time you are saying your prayers you are thinking of your snarl'd Periwig or how you shall trim up your old Gown that was given you by some of our Cabal Matron Faith I must confess I have had some such thoughts when I have been at my prayers God forgive me for 't Portrait And for all you exclame against young Beauties for there is your spight now your beauty is gone yet I have observed that when you are at Church you will cast your eyes about and mop and mew and simpering bridlde in your Chin in hopes to catch some beardless boy and when you look up on the Preachers face if he be a young Lecturer it is not out of Attention of what he preaches but in hopes to perswade him to marry you as thinking he would imagine you would make a good Vertuous Religious woman sit to make a Parsons Wife Matron No faith I will never be a Parsons Wife for Preachers are given so much to Contemplation as they seldom speak but in the pulpit but if they do it will be of subjects I understand not as of such subjects as they have read out of dead Authors Superbe Why then you will have the more liberty to speak your self if your Husband speak but seldom Matron That 's true but those which love to speak much are like drunkards which is they love company for Questions and Answers are like drinking and pledging and Arguing is like drinking Healths and quarrels and friendships and friendships and quarrels proceed from the one as often as from the other Faction Then it seems you are both kind and quarrelsome both in your talk and drink for you speak very experienc'd of both Matron So much experience I have living long in the World as to know that drink makes one talk and talking makes one dry Pleasure Well leaving this dry discourse Mother Matron you must find out some way or means whereby we may be acquainted with the rare Beauty which every one talks of Matron I will do my indeavour and imploy the wisedom of my brain to compass it Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit and her Maid enters soon after MAid Madam there is Monsieur Satyrical come to visit you Bon' Esprit Cupid and Venus possess him and Pallas guard me Conduct him hither Enter Monsieur Satyrical Bon' Esprit Monsieur Satyrical you appear like a Comet to our Sex Satyrical If all your Sex had been like you I should have been as conversant as one of the Planets Bon' Esprit I hope you have not that Influence on our Sex as the Planets have on Earthly Creatures Satyrical I wish I had for then I might cast such an Influence of Love as might cause you to love me Bon' Esprit But you are like the Planet of Saturn and not of Venus for you frown when Venus smiles Satyrical I shall not do so when you smile Bon' Esprit You will when I quarrel with you Satyrical I hope you will not quarrel with me but if you do I will receive your anger as subjects receive the punishments of Laws obediently although it ruins me Bon' Esprit I will make you Judge of the Cause as of the Laws Have I not reason to quarrel with you when I Challeng'd you to an Honourable Fight and you return'd my Challenge back with scorn and slight Satyrical Whatsoever my Answer was I confess I am conquer'd and yield my self your prisoner to dispose of me as you please But if you will take a Ransome of current Love which I have brought you in the Chest of my Heart wherein it is so fast lock'd that nothing but your Acceptance can open it Bon' Esprit If it be capable of being taken forth I may leave your heart empty Satyrical Your Virtue will still furnish it with more Your pure Chastity increase the store Bon' Esprit Your Wit is very apt to take your part To keep your own yet strives to steal my heart But if you do not use it nobly well It will complain to Gods the truth will tell Satyrical May I be curs'd my Wit be quenched out If I give you a cause my Love so doubt Or I your Virtues highly not admire Preferring them before a loose desire May all the Gods their vengeance on me cast And may their punishments for ever last Bon' Esprit I was in jest at first but since I find Your Love so honest and your words so kind I cannot doubt nor yet my self deny The union Friendship in firm bonds to tye Of everlasting love and if I break May Gods be deaf when I in pray'rs do speak Satyrical Madam the Poetical Duel hath ended in Friendship and if you please in Mariage Bon' Esprit I consent but do not prize me the less for being soon won for I loved you before you asked my Love and being ask'd I could not deny you Satyrical I value your love as Saints do Heaven and prize it as highly as Gods their power and for my crimes committed against you and your Sex I offer up my heart on the Altar of Repentance as a sacrifice to you my Goddess for an Atonement of your Anger Bon' Esprit I accept of thy Offering and shall receive it as a Trophy of my Victory Satyrical I am your slave Exeunt Scene 3. Enter Superbe Ambition Faction Pleasure and Portrait AMbition It is said that Women are the greatest Conquerors because they conquer conquering men and make them become slaves For it is said that Women have conquer'd
at least VVanton That 's all one for Cupid wounds Age as well as youth Ease But I had thought that an old womans heart had been so hard Love could not have enter'd VVanton Old Mother Matron proves it otherwise for her Heart is as tender as the youngest Heart of us all Idle While I am young I will be a Lover because I will not be a Fool when I am old Ease That 's the way to be a Fool whilst you are young and a Lover when you are old VVanton No that is to be a Curtezan whilst she is young and a Bawd when she is old Idle Nay faith when I can no longer traffique for my self I will never trade for any other VVanton Covetousness will tempt your reverent Age Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Ambition Pleasure Faction Portrait Bon' Esprit Superbe Wanton Ease Excess PLeasure How shall we entertain our time Portrait Let us sit and chuse Husbands Bon' Esprit What in the Ashes Portrait No in our Speeches Faction Content Ambition Begin but let your Maids Lady Pleasure sit and chuse Husbands with us Pleasure If I were to chuse a Husband I would chuse a man that was honourably born nobly bred wisely taught civilly behav'd also I would have him to speak rationally wittily and eloquently to act prudently valiantly justly and temperately to live freely magnificently and peaceably I would have him honourably born because I would not have him a Boor by Nature which is surly rude grumbling and miserable I would have him nobly bred because I would not have him a Shark a Cheat or a Sycophant I would have him wisely taught because I would not have him an ignorant fool nor a pedantical fool I would have him civilly-behav'd to please my Eyes I would have him to speak rational witty and eloquent to please my Ears I would have him valiant to defend his Country to guard his Family and to maintain his Honour I would have him prudent to foresee misfortunes and to provide for the future that I may never want for the present I would have him temperate lest Excess should ruine his Fortune Health or Esteem I would have him just because others should be just to him to live freely as not to be inslaved to live magnificently for to be respected to live peaceably to avoid brawleries And such a man as this will be kind to his Wife loving to his Children bountiful to his Servants courteous to his Friends civil to Strangers faithful to his Trust and just to his Promise Superbe If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man that were Rich honour'd with Titles and were Powerful I would have him Rich because I would have him live plentifully to feed luxuriously to be adorn'd gloriously I would have him to have Titles of Honour because I would take place of my Neighbours to have the chief place at a Feast and to have the first and choisest meats offer'd me I would have him Powerful to oppose my Opposers to insult over my Enemies and to neglect my Friends which if I be poor and helpless they will do me Thus I shall be honour'd by my Superiours crouch'd to by Inferiours flatter'd by Sycophants brag'd of by my Friends obey'd by my Servants respected by my Acquaintance envy'd by my Neighbours sought to by my Enemies Thus I might advance my Friends punish my Enemies tread down my Superiours inslave my Inferiours insult over my Foes and inthrone my self Ambition If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man whom all other men are slaves to and he mine And what can I desire more than to be absolute Bon' Esprit If I were to choose I would choose a man for a Husband that were an honest and plain-dealing man patient and wise that I might neither be deceiv'd by his falshood nor troubl'd with his quarrels nor vex'd with his follies Faction If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a subtil crafty Knave that can cheat an honest Fool with which cheats I can entertain my time like those that go to see Juglers play tricks VVanton If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man that were blind deaf and dumb that he might neither trouble me with his impertinent Questions nor see my indiscreet Actions nor hear my foolish Discourses Thus I may say what I will and never be crost do what I will and never be hinder'd go where I will and never be watch'd come when I will and never be examin'd entertain whom I will and never be rebuk'd Thus I may Govern as I will Spend as I will Spare as I will without Controlment Portrait If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man that were industrious thrifty and thriving for the pleasure is not so much to enjoy as getting like those that are hungry have more pleasure in eating their meat than when their stomacks are full Excess If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man that were a busie Fool which would continually bring me fresh although false News for his busie mind which fills his Head with Projects which Projects will feed my excessive Ambition with his high Designs although improbable and set my thoughts at work with his several Atchievments although there is no leading-path therein But howsoever this will furnish my Imagination imploy my Thoughts please my Curiosity and entertain my time with Varieties wherein and wherewith I may pass my life with fine Phantasms or like a fine Dream Pleasure It is a sign you love sleep excessively well so as you would have your life pass as a dream Excess Why Madam sleeping is the lifes Elizium and our dreams the pastime therein and our beds are our living graves to the greatest part of our life and most are best pleased therein for it gives rest to our wearied and tired limbs it revives the weak and fainting spirits it eases the sick and pained it pacifies the grieved it humours the melancholy it cherishes age it nourishes youth it begets warmth it cools heat it restores health it prolongs life and keeps the mind in peace Ease I will not choose but vvish and pray which is if ever I marry I pray Jove that I may out-live my Husband Bon' Esprit O fie Women pray that their Husbands may out-live them Ease If they do in my Conscience they dissemble but howsoever I will never pray so for I perceive when men are Widowers they are more hasty to marry again than Batchellors are and the last love blots out the first and I should be sorry to be blotted out Ambition But if men do marry after they have buried their first Wife yet perchance they will not love their second Wife so well as the first Ease I know not that but yet to the outward view I perceive a man seems to forget his first Wife in the presence of his second Wife Faction By your favour a second Wife puts a Husband in remembrance of
from the bower of bliss into the grave of life the habitation of death from a young Beauty to an old doting Woman Oh I will tear this letter that hath deceived me but stay I will keep this letter to make sport amongst the young Ladies which sport may perchance insinuate me into some favour with the young Ladies for as idle and ridiculous pastime or means as this is hath got many times good success amongst Ladies wherefore I will for their sport-sake jestingly Court Mother Matron and in the mean time of the Progress write her a letter Exit ACT III Scene 11. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition and Monsieur Inquisitive INquisitive I hear Madamoiselle Ambition you are to marry Monsieur Vain-glorious Ambition No for I am too honest to marry one man and love admire and esteem another man beyond him but when I marry I will marry such a one as I prize honour love and admire above all other men or else I will never marry Inquisitive What man could you esteeem honour and love most Ambition He that I thought had the noblest Soul and had done the most worthyest Actions Inquisitive But put the case that man that were as you would have him were so ingag'd as you could not enjoy him in lawful mariage Ambition I could lawfully enjoy him although I could not lawfully marry him Inquisitive As how Ambition As in Contemplation for I could enjoy his Soul no otherwise if I were maried to him for if I were maried I could but contemplate of his Merits please my self with the thoughts of his Virtues honour his generous Nature and praise his Heroick Actions And these I can do as much although I should live at distance from him nor never be his Wife for the mariage of Bodies is no enjoyment of Souls Inquisitive This would only be an opinion of delight but no true enjoyment of pleasure for though an Opinion may affright the Soul yet the Opinion cannot pleasure the Body But say an Opinion could delight the Soul without the Senses yet the pleasures of the Senses are to be preferred before the delight of the Soul for the truth is that the spirits of life take more delight in sensual pleasures than in the Souls imagination for life lives in the Senses not in the Soul for were there no Senses there would be no Life Ambition By your favour there is life in the Soul when Death hath extinguish'd the Senses Inquisitive That 's more than you know you believe it only upon report but who hath had the trial or experience of the truth of it So that the report is upon an unknown ground and your belief is built upon an unsure Foundation Ambition What belief is for my advantage I will strive and indeavour to strengthen it on what foundation soever it 's built upon Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Monsieur Frisk and Mother Matrons Maid FRisk You will pardon me pretty Maid for causing you to stay so long for an Answer of your Mistris's Letter Maid There requires no pardon Sir for I have been very well entertain'd by your man I thank him Frisk I perceive my man hath had better fortune than his Master for he hath had youth to entertain but I hope if you receive the mans entertainment so thankfully you will not refuse the Masters Maid My Mistris would be jealous of your Worship if you should entertain me Frisk Why doth your Mistris love me so much Maid So much as she cannot sleep quietly for dreaming of you nor lets me sleep for she wakes me every night to tell me her dreams Frisk What dreams she Maid One dream was she dream'd that she was Diana and you Acteon Frisk What to set horns on my head Maid No my Mistris said that she in her dream did more as a Godess ought to have done than Diana did for she was generous in her dream and not cruel for instead of horning you she invited you into her Bath Frisk I hope you were one of her Nymphs Maid Another time she dream'd you were Mercury and she Herce and another that she was Venus and you Adonis but the last night she awaked out of a fearful dream Frisk What dream was that Maid She dream'd that she was Queen Dido and you the Prince AEneas and when you were ship'd and gone away she stab'd her self Frisk If she were Dido I should prove AEneas Maid On my Conscience she fetch'd as many sighs when she awak'd and made as many pitious complaints and lamentations as if her dream had been true and she really bad been Queen Dido insomuch as I was afraid that she would have killed he self indeed and was running forth the Chamber to call in company to hinder her but that she commanded me to stay saying that it was but the passion of her dream for she hoped that you would prove a more constant and faithful Lover than to leave her to despair Frisk The next time she is in the same passion tell her I will be like AEneas meet her in Hell In the mean time carry her this Letter Maid Lord Lord she will be a joy'd woman to receive a letter from you and I shall be a welcome Messenger unto her and the letter will be worth a new gown to me Frisk I wish it may be a gown of price to thee Exeunt Scene 13. Enter Monsieur Satyrical and Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit BOn Esprit How shall I pacifie my companions or qualifie their spleens who will be in a furious rage when they perceive and know my real love to you for they made me as their hook to the line of their Angle and hope to catch you like a Gudgion Satyrical All that Angle do not catch yet you have drawn me forth of the salt Satyrical Sea Bon' Esprit But their desire is that you should lie gasping on the shore of Love Satyrical Would they be so cruel as not to throw me into a fresh River Bon' Esprit No for they joy in the thought of your torments and their general prayers are to Cupid imploring him to wound you with a golden-headed Arrow and she you love with an Arrow headed with lead As for their particular prayers they are after this manner One prays you may sigh your self into Air and the Air so infectious as it may plague all the Satyrical of your Sex Another prayeth you may weep tears of Vitriol and that the sharpness of those tears may corrode your soul Another prays that your passion of love may be so hot as it may torment you as Hell-fire doth the damned but Mother Matron besides saying Amen to all their prayers makes her prayers thus That she for whose sake you must endure all these torments may be the oldest and most ill-favour'd deform'd woman that ever Nature Accident and Time made Satyrical She would have me in Love with her self it seems by her prayer Bon' Esprit If she did hear you she would die for want of Revenge
marry me Portrait If it be a Charity to you it would be none to my self but the contrary I should prove cruel to my self in making my life unhappy Sensuality Yet it will be a meritorious Act for what is more meritorious than to save a soul Portrait So I shall rob Pluto of his due and just right Sensuality He will never miss his loss for on my Conscience he is not so good an Arithmetician as he could count and number the Millions of souls he hath in Hell or those he hath right to nay if he had the skill of Utlick he could not number them for they surmount all Accounts Portrait But the torments he puts souls to will find them out Sensuality It is a question whether souls are capable of torments but howsoever to put it out of question pray marry me for I am become of a sudden very consentious Portrait But there will be another question which is Whether Mariage will save you or not Sensuality O yes for the Purgatory of Mariage doth purifie Souls and make them fit for Heaven Portrait But I fear if I should marry you I should do like those that strive to save a drowning man so I indeavouring to save you should lose my self Sensuality There is no Honourable Act without some danger to the Actor Portrait But all wise Actions have security Sensuality There is no security in Nature Portrait I will consider although after a wise consideration I do a foolish action as most considerers do Exeunt ACT V. Scene 22. Enter Monsieur Heroick and Madamoiselle Ambition HEroick Madam I hear I live in your good Opinion Ambition Your merits do Heroick I hope if you do esteem my merits if I have merits to be esteem'd you will not despise my Person nor deny my Sute Ambition I esteem of your person for your merits sake and those that have merits and are worthy will make no ignoble Sute wherefore I may grant it before I know it Heroick My Sute is to accept of me for your Husband Ambition I shall not deny to be your Wife Enter as to these Couple all the Cabal as Pleasure Portrait Faction Superbe Bon' Esprit Temperance Matron Wanton Excess Ease Tranquillitous Peace Vain-glorious Censure Satyrical Frisk Sensuality Busie Inquisitive Liberty Tranquill Well met Monsieur Heroical and Madamoiselle Ambition Inquisitive Now we are all met how shall we pass the time away Pleasure Nay rather how shall we recreate our time Vain-glor. Let us sit and declare what we love or hate All speak Agreed Superbe Shall we declare our love or our hate first Censure Our love first Heroick Nay faith let love close up our discourse Ambition Then let hate be the Gentleman-Usher Bon' Esprit She will usher you into foul ways Sensuality Let her usher us into as foul ways as she will we will follow her All speak Begin begin Superbe I hate poverty for that dejects the Spirits and oppresseth the Life Satyrical I hate falshood for that deceives my Reason and blind-folds my Senses Bon' Esprit I hate a fool because he obstructs my Understanding and sets my Brain on the Rack Tranquill I hate noise because it disturbs my thoughts hurts my hearing and buries sense reason and auricular words Pleasure I hate sickness because it is a friend to Death Vain-glor. I hate vain follies because they bring neither content pleasure nor profit Ambition I hate a Court because it puts Modesty out of countenance Patience out of humour and Merit out of favour Heroick I hate a slavish Peace because there is no imployment for noble active spirits Excess I hate truth because it tells me my faults Busie I hate truth because it hinders my search thereof Ease I hate motion because therein there is no rest Inquisitive I hate rest because it makes no Inquiries Temperance I hate life because therein is more pain and trouble than pleasure or peace Liberty I hate restraint because it inslaves life Wanton I hate a Nunnery because it doth not only restrain but bar our Sex from the sight of men Temperance Thou lovest men well that their very sight delights thee Censure I hate light because it discovers Lovers Faction I hate darkness because it conceals Adulteries Sensuality I hate a chaste Beauty because she quenches my hopes and inflames my desires Portrait I hate Madamoiselle la Belle because Monsieur Sensuality did like her Frisk I hate Age for that vades Beauty and banishes Lovers Matron No more of Age and Hate take Love without Beauty Bon' Esprit Mother Matron would have you take her Frisk Nay faith we will leave Mother Matron and begin with Love Inquisitive I love plenty for in plenty lives happiness Wanton I love freedom for in freedom lives pleasure Temperance By your favour Plenty may want happiness and Freedom pleasure Sensuality I love to go to Church Temperance What to hear a Sermon Sensuality No to meet a Mistris Temperance Out upon thee thou Reprobate would you make a Church a Bawdy-house Sensuality No I would make that place where Beauties were a Church and the fairest should be the Godess I would pray to Temperance There are not any that are fair will hear you Sensuality And those that are foul I will not pray to Censure Follow Love for that makes all things fair and pleasing Ease I love silence for in silence my life lives easily my thoughts freely and my mind harmoniously Temperance Sometimes the thoughts disturb the mind and so the life more than noise disturbs the thoughts Vain-glor. I love Honour for in Honour lives Respect Portrait I love Beauty for in Beauty lives admiration Heroick I love Fame for in Fame lives the memory of the best of my Actions Ambition I love power for in power lives Adorations Satyrical I love Wit for that delights my self and recreates my friends Bon' Esprit I love Eloquence for that delights my Ear Temperance But Eloquence will deceive your Judgment delude your Understanding and flatter your Passions with insinuating perswasions and will draw you into an Erroneous Belief and by that unto unjust actions Sensuality I love Madamoiselle Portrait Portrait I love Monsieur Sensuality Heroick I love Madamoiselle Ambition Ambition I love Monsieur Heroick Satyrical I love Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit Bon' Esprit I love Monsieur Satyrical Vain-glor. I love Madamoiselle Superbe Superbe I love Monsieur Vain-glorious Tranquill I love Madamoiselle Pleasure Pleasure I love Monsieur Tranquillitous Peace Censure I love Madamoiselle Faction Faction I love Monsieur Censure Busie I love ma filia Excess Excess I love Monsieur Busie Liberty I love ma filia Wanton Wanton I love Monsieur Liberty Ease I love a single life for in Mariage lives too much trouble to live in Ease Temperance I love to continue a Widow for Temperance is banish'd from most places and persons Matron I love Monsieur Frisk but Monsieur Frisk loves not me Censure Faith I 'll perswade him to love if
not thy person yet thy wealth for thou art rich and he hath hardly enough means to bear up his Gentility Besides one Maid and one Widow is enough more would be too much Faction And one Batchelour Censure Who 's that Faction Monsieur Inquisitive Censure Faith 't is fit and proper he should live a Batchelour for an Inquisitive Husband would not be good neither for his own sake nor his Wifes Temperance But Gentlemen and Ladies although you all say you love such a Lady and such a Lady loves such a Gentleman yet you do not say you will marry each other Faction You may be sure if we do publickly profess love we intend to marry for though we may love and not marry or marry and not love yet not profess it in an open Assembly for Love without Mariage lives incognito Tranquill But mariage without love is visible enough for it lies to the view of all their neighbours knowledge Temperance Well noble Gentlemen and vertuous Ladies if you resolve all to marry I would advise you to marry all in one day Bon' Esprit O Madam Temperance you are sick Temperance Why Superbe By reason healthful temperance never gives such surfetting counsel for there are as many of us as might be marying a year and keeping their Festivals and you would have all marry'd in one day Ambition Madam Temperance means she would have a whole year as one Wedding-day Heroick And one Wedding-day to the Bride and Bridegroom is as one whole year Satyrical Not to every Bride and Bridegroom for on my Conscience Monsieur Frisk if he should marry Mother Matron will think his Wedding-day but a minute long Faction But Mother Matron will think the day an Age Portrait You speak so loud she 'l hear you Faction O no for the most part she is deaf for she many times stops wool into her ears to keep out the cold Exeunt Scene 23. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntlem. I hear that Wits Cabal is removing out of Cupids Court into Hymens prison and there to be bound in bonds of Matrimony 2 Gent. Faith I pity the Cabal and condemn their Wit by reason it did not keep them out of slavery 1 Gentle Wit is both a Pander and a Traitor for Wit is a Pimp in Cupids Court and betrays his Court to Hymens Prison 2 Gentlem. There are no prisoners look so dejectedly as Hymens prisoners 1 Gentle There is great reason for it for they are almost starv'd for want of variety and they have less liberty than other prisoners have Exeunt Scene 24. Enter two other Gentlemen 1 GEnt. You hear of the great Mariages that are concluded on and they are to be dispatch'd out of hand 2 Gent. Hear of them say you I must stop my Ears and shut my Eyes if I did not both hear and see their preparations for all the Tradesmen are so busily imploy'd as if they were never to sell or work more after these Mariages 1 Gent. What Tradesmen are those 2 Gent. Why Taylors Shoomakers Hosiers Seamstresses Feather-men Periwig-makers Perfumers Clothiers Linnengers Silk men Mercers Milleners Haberdashers Curlers Spurriers Sadlers Coach-makers Upholstorers besides Confectioners Cooks Bakers Brewers Butchers Poulterers and twenty more I cannot think of 1 Gent. They will kill and destroy so many creatures for their Feasts that they will make a massacre 2 Gent. A Famine I think 1 Gent. But there will be great dancings at the Court they say for three will be Masks Plays Balls and such braveries as never was 2 Gent. These publick Weddings and such publick Revellings put the Gentry to more charges than many times they are able to spare which if it were not for Revelling there would be no need of such vain and idle Expences 1 Gent. I mean to be at some charges as to make me a new Suit or two of Cloaths 2 Gent. Faith I will spare my purse and stay at home Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the several Couples Heroick and Ambition Tranquillitous Peace and Pleasure Satyrical and Bon' Esprit Vain-glorious and Superbe Censure and Faction Sensuality and Portrait Busie and Excess Liberty and Wanton Frisk and Mother Matron VAinglor. Where will you keep your Wedding-Feast Heroick We will keep ours at the Court Censure So will we Vain-glor. And so will we Busie And so will we Tranquill If you please Mistris we will keep ours in the Country Pleasure I approve of it Satyrical If my Mistris agree we will keep ours at the Play-house and feast and dance upon the Stage Bon' Esprit I agree and approve of your Choice Censure An Ordinary or Tavern is a more commodious place for the Society of the Wits for I am sure all the Wits will meet there Satyrical But if an Ordinary or Tavern be more commodious yet they are not so publick places as the Theaters of Players so that Wits may be merrier and freer in a Tavern but not so divulged as on a Stage in a Play-House Heroick The truth is an Ordinary or Tavern is a more proper place for Monsieur Sensuality and his Mistris to keep their Wedding-Feast than for Monsieur Satyrical and his Mistris Sensuality By your favour the most proper place for us is the Court Busie I think that an Hospitable Gentlemans House in the Country is most proper for Monsieur Sensuality to keep his Wedding-Feast in Superbe That is a more proper place for Liberty and Wanton Faction Nay by your favour another House which shall be nameless for fear of offending is fitter for them Matron My Honey sweet Love where shall we keep our Wedding-Feast Frisk For your sake my Sugar-sweeting we will keep it in Bedlam and Monsieur Busie and his Bride shall keep us company Matron Thou art a very wag my Love Tranquil W' are all agreed Sensuality Pray Jove we speed Exeunt FINIS The UNNATURAL TRAGEDIE The Actors Names Monsieur Pere Monsieur Frere and his Friend Monsieur la Marry Monsieur Malateste Monsieur Sensible Monsieur Fefy Mounsieur Malatestes Friend Two Gentlemen Madam ma Soeur Madam Bonit the first Wife of Monsieur Malateste Madam Malateste the second Wife Madamoiselle Amor daughter to Monsieur Sensible The Sociable Virgins Two Matrons Nan and Jone two Maid-servants of Madam Bonit Servants and others PROLOGUE A Tragedy I usher in to day All Mirth is banish'd in this Serious Play Yet sad Contentment may She to you bring In pleas'd Expressions of each sev'ral thing Our Poetress is confident no Fears Though 'gainst her Sex the Tragick Buskins wears But you will like it some few howers spent She 'l know your Censure by your hands what 's meant This Prologue was written by my Lord Marquiss of Newcastle THE UNNATURAL TRAGEDY ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Monsieur Frere and his Friend MOnsieur Frere Since we are come out of our own Country to travel we will go into Turky if you will and see that Country Friend With all my heart but now I think on 't better I will stay here
the Curtezans As for those that are kept honest I can give little or no account for they are so inclos'd with locks and bolts and only look through a jealousie so as a stranger cannot obtain a sight much less an acquaintance Soeur Then they have not that liberty we French women have Frere O no Soeur Why do they fear they would all turn Curtezans if they should be left to themselves Frere The men are jealous and will not put it to the trial for though they are all Merchants even the Princes themselves yet they will not venture their wives Soeur I would not live there for all the World for to be so restrain'd for it is said that Italian men are so jealous of their wives as they are jealous of their Brothers Fathers and Sons Frere They are so for they are wise and know Nature made all in common and to a general use for particular Laws were made by Men not by Nature Soeur They were made by the Gods Brother Frere What Gods Sister old men with long beards Soeur Fie fie Brother you are grown so wild in Italy as France I doubt will hardly reclaim you but I hope when you are marry'd you will be reform'd and grow sober Frere Why Sister are you become more sober or reform'd since you are marry'd Soeur No Brother I never was wild nor wanton but always modest and honest Frere Faith Sister me thinks you might have been marry'd more to your advantage than you are had not my Father been so hasty in marrying you so young Soeur Why do you say so Brother when the man I 'm marry'd to is so worthy a person as I do not merit him neither would I change him for all the World Frere Nay Sister be not angry for 't is my extreme love having no more sisters but you that makes me speak Soeur Prethee Brother do not think I am angry so I believe it proceeds from love and that it is your affection that makes you so ambitious for me Frere Know Sister I love you so well and so much as 't is a torment to be out of your company Soeur Thank you Brother and know I desire never to be in any other Company than my Husband Father and Brother nay any other company is troublesome Exeunt Scene 13 Enter the Sociable Virgins and Matron MAtron Ladies how are your wits to day 1 Virgin Faith my brain is like Salisbury Plain to day where my thoughts run Races having nothing to hinder their way and my brain like Salisbury-plain is so hard as my thoughts like the horses heels leave no print behind so as I have no wit to day for Wit is the print and mark of thoughts 2 Virgin And I am sick to day and sickness breaks the strings of Wit and when the strings are broke no harmony can be made 3 Virgin It is with Wits as it is with Beauties they have their good days as to speak quick and to look well to look cloudy and to speak dully and though my tongue to day is apt to run like an Alarm clock without any intermission yet my mind being out of order my tongue will go out of time as either too fast or too slow so as none can tell the true time of sense 4 Virgin For my part I am so dull to day as my Wit is buried in stupidity and I would not willingly speak unless my speech could work upon every passion in the heart and every thought in the head 1 Virgin For my part if any can take delight in my unfolded tongue and unpolish'd words my discourse is at their service Matron Me thinks Ladies your Wits run nimbly fly high and spread far wherefore make a witty match or a match of Eloquence 1 Virgin With all my heart for in the Combat of Eloquence I shall do like to a valiunt man in a battel for though he wins not the Victory yet he proves not a Coward so though I should not get the victory of Wit or Eloquence yet I shall not prove my self a fool 2 Virgin I will make no such match for though I have read some few books yet I have not studied Logick nor Rhetorick to place and set words in order and though I have read History and such like books yet I have not got their Speeches by heart nor parts of them as the parts of one Oration and a part of another Oration and of three or four to make up an Oration of my own as all Orators do now adays neither have I studied the Morals or the Fathers so much as to have their sayings and sentences to stuff my Discourse as Preachers do and to speak a natural way although extraordinary witty as to have their Orations as full of wit as of words yet it would be condemn'd if the Speaker is not learned or that their Speeches express not learning 3 Virgin Now you talk of Speeches and Orations it seems very strange to me to read the Speeches that Chronologers write down to be truly related as from the mouths of those that spoke them especially such as are spoken ex tempore and on a sudden but more especially those that are spoken in Mutinies and to a tumultuous multitude wherein is nothing but distraction both in the Speakers and Hearers frights and fears in Opposers and Assaulters As for Example when Tacitus set down the Speeches of some persons at such times when and where every one is in such fears and disorders as there seem'd to be not any one person that could have the leisure time rest or silence to get those Speeches by heart to bear them away in their memory or had they Place Time Ink Pen or Paper to write them down 4 Virgin But the Speeches that Thucidides sets down may be better credited because most of them were premeditated and soberly orderly and quietly deliver'd which might more easily be noted and exactly taken to deliver to posterity 3 Virgin Another thing is how Tacitus could come to know the particulars and private speeches betwixt man and man as Friend and Friend Brother and Brother and not only the Speeches of the Roman Nations of which he might be best informed but the Speeches of persons of other Nations whose Language was not easily understood or frequent amongst the Romans nay not only so but he hath writ the thoughts of some Commanders and others Matron Lady you must not be so strict in History as to have every word true for it is a good History if the sense matter maner form and actions be true As for Example Say a man should be presented all naked is he less a man for being naked or is he more a man for being cloathed or for being cloathed after another Fashion than his own So a History is not the less true if the Actions Occasions Forms and the like be related although every word be not express'd as they were so that Tacitus's Speeches may be true as to the sense although he
Reason when there are so many seeming reasons as the right cannot be known 1 Virgin Seeming reasons are like seducing flatterers perswade 't is truth when all is false they say 2 Virgin Let us talk of Justice 4 Virgin Justice to the Generality hath a broad full face but to particulars she hath but a quarter and half-quarter face and to some particulars she veils it all over Wherefore to talk of Justice is to talk blindfold 2 Virgin Let us talk of Bashfulness 3 Virgin What should we talk of our own disgrace Matron A Grace you mean Lady 3 Virgin No surely a distemper'd Countenance and a distorted Face can be no grace 1 Virgin Let us talk of the Passions 2 Virgin It is easier to talk of them than to conquer and govern them although it is easier to conquer the perturbed passions of the Mind than the unruly Appetites of the Body for as the Body is grosser than the Soul so the Appetites are stronger than the Passions 4 Virgin Let us talk of Gifts 5 Virgin There are no Gifts worth the talking of but Natural Gifts as Beauty Wit good Nature and the like 4 Virgin Let us talk of Wit that is a Natural Gift 1 Virgin Nature gives true Wit to very few for many that are accounted Wits are but Wit-leeches that suck and swell with wit of other men and when they are over-gorg'd they spue it out again besides there are none but Natural Poets that have variety of Discourses all others talk according to their Professions Practice and Studies when Poets talk of all that Nature makes or Art invents and like as Bees that gather the sweets of every flower bring honey to the Hive which are the Ears of the Hearers wherein Wit doth swarm But since we are not by Nature so indu'd Wit is a subject not fit to be pursued by us 5 Virgin Let us talk of Beauty 3 Virgin Those that have it take greater pleasure in the Fame than in the Possession for they care not so much to talk of it as to hear the praises of it Matron Come Ladies let us go for I perceive your Wits can settle upon no one subject this day Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Monsieur Frere alone as being melancholy FRere O how my Spirit moves with a disorder'd haste my thoughts tumultuously together throng striving to pull down Reason from his throne and banish Conscience from the Soul Walks as in a melancholy posture Enter Monsieur Pere Pere What Son Lover-like already before you have seen your Mistris Well her Father and I am agreed there 's nothing wanting but the Priest and Ceremony and all is done Frere Sir there are our Affections wanting for we never saw one another Wherefore it is not known whether we shall affect or nor Pere I hope you are not so disobedient to dispute your Fathers will Frere And I hope Sir you will not be so unkind as to force me to marry one I cannot love Pere Not love why she is the richest Heiress in the Kingdom Frere I am not covetous Sir I had rather please my Fancy than increase my Estate Pere Your Fancy Let me tell you that your fancy is a fool and if you do not obey my will I will dis-inherit you Frere I fear not poverty Pere Nor fear you not a Fathers curse Frere Yes Sir that I do Pere Why then be sure you shall have it if you refuse her Frere Pray give me some time to consider of 't Pere Pray do and consider wisely you had best Exeunt Scene 17. Enter two Servants I SErvant I doubt my Lady will die 2 Servant I fear so for the Doctor when he felt her pulse shook his head which was an ill sign 1 Servant It is a high Feaver she is in 2 Servant The Doctor says a high continual Feaver 1 Servant She 's a fine young Lady 't is pity she should die 2 Servant My Master puts on a sad face but yet me thinks his sadness doth not appear of a through-die Exeunt Scene 18. Enter the Sociable Virgins and two Grave Matrons MAtron Come Ladies how will you pass your time to day I Virgin Pray let us sit and Rhime and those that are out shall lose a Collation to the rest of the Society All speak Agree agreed I Virgin Love is both kind and cruel As fire unto fuel It doth imbrace and burn Gives Life and proves Deaths Urn 2 Virgin A lowring Sky and Sunny wrays Is like a commendation with dispraise Or like to Cypress bound to Bays Or like to tears on Wedding days 3 Virgin A flatt'ring Tongue and a false Heart A kind Imbrace which makes me start A beauteous Form a Soul that 's evil Is like an Angel but a Devil 4 Virgin A woman old to have an Amorous passion A Puritan in a fantastick Fashion A formal States-man which dances and skips about And a bold fellow which is of countenance out 5 Virgin A Scholars head with old dead Authors full For want of wit is made a very gull 1 Virgin To laugh and cry to mingle smiles and tears Is like to hopes and doubts and joys and fears As sev'ral passions mixes in one mind So sev'ral postures in one face may find 2 Virgin To love and hate both at one time And in one person both to joyn To love the man but hate the crime Is like to sugar put to brine Matron Ladies you had better tell some Tales to pass your time with for your rhymes are not full of wit enough to be delightfully sociable 3 Virgin Agreed let us tell some Tales 4 Virgin Once upon a time Honour made Love to Vertue a gallant and Heroick Lord he was and she a sweet modest and beautiful Lady and naked Truth was the Confident to them both which carried and brought love messages and presents from and to each other 2 Matron Out upon beastly truth for if she goeth naked I dare say she is a wanton Wench and Virtue I dare swear is little better than her self if she keeps her company or can behold her without winking and I shall shrewdly suspect you Ladies to be like her if you discourse of her but more if you have any acquaintance with her And since you are so wilde and wanton as to talk of naked truth I will leave you to your scurrilous discourse for I am asham'd to be in your company and to hear you speak such Ribauldry O fie O fie naked Truth Iove bless me and keep me from naked Truth as also from her sly Companion Virtue out upon them both She goes out and the Sociable Virgins follow her saying Stay or else Truth would meet her and cloath her in a fools coat Exeunt Scene 19. Enter Madam Soeur and Monsieur Frere MAdam Soeur Now you have seen your Mistris Brother tell me how you like her Frere It were a rudeness to your Sex if I should say I dislike any Woman Soeur Surely Brother you cannot dislike her
for she is handsom well-behav'd well-bred a great Estate and of a good Fame and Family Frere And may she have a Husband answerable Soeur Why so she will when she marries you Frere I cannot equal her Virtues nor merit her Beauty wherefore I will not injure her with mariage Soeur Will you not marry her Frere No Soeur I hope you speak not in Earnest Frere In truth Sister I do no not jest Soeur Prethee Brother do not tell my Father so for if you do he will be in such a fury as there will be no pacifying him Frere If you desire it I will not Soeur First reason with your self and try if you can perswade your Affections Frere Affections Sister can neither be perswaded either from or to for if they could I would imploy all the Rhetorick I have to perswade them O sister He goes out in a melancholy posture Enter Monsieur Pere Pere Where is your Brother Soeur He is even now gone from hence Pere How chance he is not gone to his Mistris Soeur I know not Sir but he looks as if he were not very well Pere Not well he 's a foolish young man and one that hath had his liberty so much as he hates to be ty'd in wedlocks Bonds but I will go rattle him Soeur Pray Sir perswade him by degrees and be not too violent at first with him Pere By the Mass Girl thou givest me good counsel and I will tempet him gently Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two or three Maid servants 1 SErvant O she 's dead she 's dead the sweetest Lady in the World she was 2 Servant O she was a sweet-natur'd creature for she would never speak to any of us all although we were her own servants but with the greatest civility as pray do such a thing or call such a one or give or fetch me such or such a thing as all her servants lov'd her so well as they would have laid down their lives for her sake unless it were her Maid Nan 1 Servant Well I say no more but pray God Nan hath not given her a Spanish Fig 3 Servant Why if she did there is none of us knows so much as we can come as Witnesses against her Enter Nan Nan It is a strange negligence that you stand prating here and do not go to help to lay my Lady forth Exit Nan the Maid Enter Monsieur Malateste and passes over the Stage with his handkerchief before his eyes 1 Servant My Master weeps I did not think he had lov'd my Lady so well 2 Servant Pish that 's nothing for most love the dead better than the living and many will hate a friend when they are living and love them when they are dead Exeunt Scene 21. Enter Monsieur Frere and Madam Soeur comes after and finds him weeping Soeur Brother why weep you Frere O Sister Mortality spouts tears through my eyes to quench Loves raging fire that 's in my Heart But 't will not do the more I strive with greater fury doth it burn Soeur Dear Brother if you be in love she must be a cruel woman that will deny you for pure and virtuous love softens the hardest hearts and melts them into pity Frere Would I were turn'd to stone and made a marble Tomb wherein lies nothing but cold death rather than live tormented thus Exit She alone Soeur Heaven keep my fears from proving true Exit Scene 22 Enter Monsieur Sensible and Madamoiselle Amor his Daughter MOnsieur Sensible Daughter how do you like Monsieur Frere Amor Sir I like whatsoever you approve of Sensible But setting aside your dutiful Answer to me tell me how you affect him Amor If I must confess Sir I never saw any man I could love but him Sensible You have reason for he is a fine Gentleman and those Mariages most commonly prove happy when Children and Parents agree Amor But Sir he doth not appear to fancy me so much or so well as I fancy him Sensible It 's a sign Child thou art in Love that you begin to have doubts Amor No Sir but if I thought he could not love me I would take off that Affection I have placed on him whilst I can master it lest it should grow so strong as to become masterless Sensible Fear not Child Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Sociable Virgins and Matrons 1 MAtron 'T is said that Malateste is a Widower 1 Virgin Why then there is a Husband for me 2 Virgin Why for you he may choose any of us as soon as you for any thing you know 3 Virgin I 'm sure we are as fair 4 Virgin And have as great Portions 5 Virgin And are as well bred as you are 1 Virgin Well I know he is allotted to my share 2 Matron Pray do not fall out about him for surely he will have none of you all for 't is said he shall marry his Maid 1 Virgin Why he is not so mad for though his Maid served to vex and grieve his wife into her grave and also to pass away idle hours with him yet he will not marry her I dare warrant you for those that are maried must take such as they can get having no liberty to choose but when they are free from wedlocks bonds they may have choice Enter Monsieur Malatesle all in mourning 1 Virgin So Sir you are welcome for you can resolve a question that is in dispute amongst us Malatesle What is it Lady 1 Virgin The question is whether you will marry your Maid or not Malatesle No sure I cannot forget my self nor my dead wife so much as to marry my Maid 1 Virgin Faith that is some kindness in Husbands that they will remember their wives when they are dead although they forget them whilst they live Malatesle A good wife cannot be forgotten neither dead nor alive 1 Virgin By your favour Sir a bad wife will remain longest in the memory of her Husband because she vex'd him most Malatesle In my Conscience Lady you will make a good wife 1 Virgin If you think so you had best try Malatesle Shall I be accepted Lady 1 Virgin I know no reason I should refuse Sir for Report says you have a great Estate and I see you are a handsome man and as for your nature and disposition let it be as bad as it can be mine shall match it Malatesle My Nature loves a free spirit 1 Virgin And mine loves no restraint Malatesle Lady for this time I shall kiss your hands and if you will give me leave I shall visit you at your lodging 1 Virgin You shall be welcome Sir Exit Monsieur Malateste 1 Virg. Ladies did not I tell you I should have him 2 Virgin Jesting and Raillery doth not always make up a Match 1 Virgin Well well Ladies God be with you for I must go home and provide for my Wedding for I perceive it will be done on the sudden for Widowers are more hasty to
Enter Monsieur Malateste and his Maid Nan MAlateste Nan you must be contented for you must be gone for your Lady will not suffer you to be in the house Nan Will you visit me if I should live near your House at the next Town Malateste No for that will cause a parting betwixt my Wife and me which I would not have for all the World wherefore Nan God be with you Nan May your House be your Hell and your Wife be your Devil Exeunt Scene 36. Enter Madam Malateste and her Maid MAid What will your Ladyship have for your Supper Madam Whatsoever is rare and costly Exit maid Enter Steward Steward Did your Ladyship send for me Madam Mal. Yes for you having been an old servant in my Fathers House will be more diligent to observe and obey my commands wherefore go to the Metropolitan City and there try all those that trade in vanities and see if they will give me credit in case my Husband should restrain his purse from me and tell them that they may may make my Husband pay my debts The next is I would have you take me a fine house in the City for I intend to live there and not in this dull place where I see no body but my Husband who spends his time in sneaking after his Maids tails having no other imployment besides solitariness begets melancholy and melancholy begets suspition and suspition jealousie so that my Husband grows amorous with idleness and jealous with melancholy Thus he hath the pleasure of variety and I the pain of jealousie wherefore be you industrious to obey my command Steward I shall Madam Exeunt Scene 37. Enter Madamoiselle Amor as to her Father Monsieur Sensible MAdam Amor Good Sir conceal my Passion left it become a scorn when once 't is known for all rejected Lovers are despised and those that have some small returns of Love yet do those saint Affections triumph vaingloriously upon those that are strong and make them as their slaves Sensible Surely Child thy Affections shall not be divulged by me I only wish thy Passions were as silent in thy breast as on my tongue as that he thou lovest so much may lie as dead and buried in thy memory Amor There 's no way to bury Love unless it buries me Exeunt Scene 38. Enter Monsieur Malateste and Madam Malateste MOnsieur Mal. I hear Wife that you are going to the Metropolitan City Madam Yes Husband for I find my self much troubled with the Spleen and therefore I go to try if I can be cur'd Monsieur Why will the City cure the Spleen Madam Yes for it is the only remedy for melancholy must be diverted with divertisements besides there are the best Physicians Monsieur I will send for some of the best and most famous Physicians from thence if you will stay Madam By mo means for they will exact so much upon your importance as they will cost more money than their journey is worth Monsieur But Wife it is my delight and profit to live in the Country besides I hate the City Madam And I hate the Country Monsieur But every good Wife ought to conform her self to her Husbands humours and will Madam But Husband I profess my self no good Wife wherefore I will follow my own humour Exit Madam He alone Monsieur Malateste I finde there is no crossing her she will have her Will Exit Scene 39. Enter Monsieur Marry and Madam Soeur MOnsieur Marry Wife I am come to rob your Cabinet of all the Ribands that are in it for I have made a running match betwixt Monsieur la Whips Nag and your Brothers Barb and he faith that he shall not run unless you give him Ribands for he is perswaded your Favours will make him win Soeur Those Ribands I have you shall have Husband But what will my Brother say if his Barb should lose the match Marry I ask'd him that question and he answer'd that if he lost he would knock his Barbs brains out of his head Soeur Where is my Brother Marry Why he is with your Father and such a good companion he is to day and so merry as your Father is so fond of his company insomuch as he hangs about his neck as a new-maried wife But I conceive the chief reason is that your Brother seems to consent to marry the Lady Amor Soeur I am glad of that with all my soul Marry But he says if he doth marry her It must be by your perswasons Soeur He shall not want perswading if I can perswade him Marry Come Wife will you give me some Ribands Soeur Yes Husband I will go fetch them Marry Nay Wife I will go along with you Exeunt Scene 40. Enter Madamoiselle Amor alone as in a melancholy humour MAdam Amor Thoughts cease to move and let my Soul take rest or let the damps of grief quench out lifes flame Enter Monsieur Sensible Sensible My dear Child do not pine away for Love for I will get thee a handsomer man than Monsieur Frere Amor Sir I am not so much in love with his person as to dote so fondly thereon Sensible What makes you so in love with him then for you have no great acquaintance with him Amor Lovers can seldome give a Reason for their Passion yet mine grew from your superlative praises those praises drew my Soul out at my Ears to entertain his love But since my Soul misles of what it seeks will not return but leave my body empty to wander like a ghost in gloomy sadness and midnight melancholy Sensible I did mistake the subject I spoke of the substance being false those praises were not current wherefore lay them aside and fling them from thee Amor I cannot for they are minted and have Loves stamp and being out increases like to Interest-money and is become so vast a summ as I believe all praises past present or what 's to come or can be are too few for his merits and too short of his worth Sensible Rather than praise him I wish my Tongue had been for ever dumb Amor O wish not so but rather I had been for ever deaf She goes out He alone Sensible My Child is undone Exeunt Scene 41. Enter two servants of Monsieur Malateste's 1 SErvant My Master looks so lean and pale as I doubt he is in a Consumption 2 Servant Faith he takes something to heart whatsoever it is 1 Servant I doubt he is jealous 2 Servant He hath reason for if my Lady doth not cuckold him yet she gives the World cause to think she doth for she is never without her Gallants 1 Servant There is a great difference betwixt our Lady that is dead and this Enter Monsieur Malateste Malateste Is my Wife come home yet 1 Servant No Sir Malateste I think it be about twelve of the Clock 1 Servant It is past one Sir Malateste If it be so late I will sit up no longer watching for my Wives coming
am wholly in your power Prudence I will mask my beauty and set you free Wooer A mask may shadow your beauty but cannot extinguish it no more than a dark cloud can the bright Sun And as the Sun begets life and gives light so your beauty begets love and gives delight to all that do behold it Prudence And as Time brings Death Darkness and Obscurity so Age brings wrinckles and Absence forgetfulness burying love in the ruines of Beauty Wooer My love can never die nor hath time power to vade your beauty Prudence Nothing escapes Times tyranny but what the soul possesses Wooer You are the soul of beauty and beauty the soul of love Prudence Such souls have no Eternity but die as bodies do Wooer O save my soul and love me Prudence 'T is not in my power for love is free and resolute it can neither be commanded nor intreated Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Lady Liberty Sir Thomas Letgo Sir William Holdfast the Lady Parrot the Lady Minion Master Disswader Sir VVilliam Holdfasts Friend being met at a Feast at Sir Thomas Letgo's House LEtgo Ladies you are become melancholy of a sudden I hope you are not tyr'd with dancing Liberty Yes saith we want divertisements wherefore prethy Sir Thomas Letgo send for thy affianced Mistris to make sport Letgo I am asham'd she should be seen or made known to this noble company Liberty O divulge her by all means that the World may know you do despise her and that you will marry her only because she is rich and to obey your Fathers commands Letgo I will obey your commands and send for her He sends for her in the mean time he is talking to another Enter the Lady Mute holding down her head and looking simply Liberty Sir Thomas Letgo your wise Mistris is come to welcome your Guests Letgo She wants words to express her self and Wit to entertain them Liberty Your Father knew you wanted not Wit so much as Wealth Letgo Many Fathers leave their sons nothing but their follies and vices for their Inheritance But my Father not having Vices or Follies enough of his own hath left me another mans Fool for an Annuity Parrot Is she a fool Liberty O yes for she seldom speaks Parrot That 's a great sign of simplicity indeed Liberty She is a meer Changeling for when she doth speak it is but when she is question'd and then for the most part she gives but one answer to all sorts of questions Parrot What Answer is that Liberty Her Answer is she cannot tell Holdfast Lady there may be such questions ask'd as are beyond a wise mans understanding to resolve But perchance she is sceptick that doubts all things All the company laugh Liberty What do you judge the scepticks fools Holdfast A man may judge all those to be fools that are not scepticks Liberty I judge all those that think her not a fool are fools Holdfast Then Lady I am condemn'd for I cannot give sentence against any of your Sex neither in thoughts or words Exeunt ACT II. Scene 11. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Country Gentleman as Suter They take their places the Assembly about them This wooing part of the Country Gentleman was written by the Marquiss of Newcastle Country Gentleman Madam though I no Courtier am by Education Yet I more truth may speak and here declare Your charming Eyes turn wanton thoughts to virtue Each modest smile converts the sinfull'st soul To holy Matrimony and each Grace and Motion Takes more than the fairest Face I am not young not yet condemn'd to age Not handsome nor yet I think ill-favour'd I do not swell with riches nor am poor No Palaces yet have Conveniences What though Poetick Raptures I do want My Judgment 's clearer than those hotter brains To make a Joynture out of verse and songs Or thirds in Oratory to endow you The Mean betwixt Extremes is Virtue still If so then make me happy and your self Courtiers may tell you that you may enjoy And marry pleasure there each minutes time There is all freedom for the female Sex Though you are bound yet feel not you are ty'd For liberty begins when you 'r a Bride Your Husband your Protection and the Court Doth cure all jealousie and fonder doubts Which there are laught at as the greatest follies If not by most yet they 'r thought mortal sins 'T is Heaven on Earth for Ladies that seem wise But you are vertuous and those ways despise Therefore take me that honour you for that Here ends my Lord Marquisses writing Prudence Worthy Sir could I perswade my Affection to listen to your sure you should not be deny'd but it is deaf or obstinate it will neither take your counsel nor be intreated But since you wooe so worthily I shall esteem you honourable as well you deserve Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Parrot and the Lady Minion PArrot Sweet Madam I could not pass by your house for my life but I must enter to see you although I was here but yesterday Minion Dear Madam I am very much joy'd to see you for I am never well but in your company They sit down both in one Couch Parrot When did you see the Lady Gravity Minion I have not seen her these two days Parrot Lord she is the strangest Lady that ever I knew in my life her company is so uneasie and let me tell you as a secret she hath a very ill Reputation Minion If I thought that I would not keep her company Parrot Since I heard that Report I have shunn'd her company as much as I could Minion Even so will I for I would not keep any body company that I thought were not chaste for a World But who is her servant can you tell Parrot 'T is commonly reported Sir Henry Courtly is her servant Minion Out upon him he is the veriest Whoremaster in all the Town nay if she keeps him company I will not come near her I 'll warrant you Parrot Nor I although she would fain be dear with me and seeks all the ways she can to be great with me sending her Gentleman-Usher every day to me with a How do you Minion No pray do not be dear nor great with her but let you and I be dear and great and that will anger her to the heart Parrot That it will faith therefore let us go to morrow together and visit her to let her see how dear and great friends we are Minion Content Parrot Agreed Enter Sir Henry Courtly as to visit the Lady Minion Minion Lord Sir Henry Courtly I have not seen you these three days Courtly I was here yesterday Madam to wait upon you but you were abroad then I went to wait upon you my Lady Parrot but you were also from home Parrot So then I had but the reversions of the Lady Minions Visit Courtly I can be but in one place at one time Madam Minion Why should you take it ill Madam that he should
visit me first Parrot Because I know no reason but that he should visit me before you Minion Why my place is before yours Parrot But the love and esteem I have for him is to be preferr'd before your place Minion How do you know but that I have as much Affection for him as you have And I am sure I have and more Parrot Don't you believe her Sir Henry Courtly for 'faith she said but even now that you were the veriest Whoremaster in all the Town and cry'd Out upon you Minion And she said she would forbear the Lady Gravitie's company by reason you did visit her which was scandalous Parrot What do you betray me in your own house when you said the same and if I be not mistaken before me Minion If you tell what I say I will tell what you say Courtly Ladies whatsoever you have said or will say of me I shall take it well for it is an honour to be mentioned by fair Ladies although in the severest sense or manner or sharpest words Parrot What do you take her part against me Minion No no I perceive well enough that he takes your part against me for which he is a most unworthy man Parrot No he partially takes your part which is base Courtly I will assure you Ladies it is not my nature or disposition to delight in your displeasures but my desire is to please all your Sex and I indeavour in my practice and behaviour to that end wherefore if I cannot please it is not my fault Minion So you make us Women strange creatures as not to be pleased Courtly No Madam men want those excellent Abilities or good Fortunes which should or could please you Parrot Faith Madam he will have much to do to desend himself against us both Minion Nay if you will joyn with me we shall be too hard for him Parrot That I will and help to beat him with Arguments Courtly For fear I should argue my self more out of your favours than I am already I will take my leave of your Ladyships for this time They both follow him and say nay stay slay Exeunt Scene 13. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Courtier They take their places and the Assembly about them COurtier Lady you are the Sun of Beauty from whence all your Sex receive a light which without that would sit in darkness you only give them lustre you are the only Godess men adore and those men which do not so if any such men be they are damned to censure As for my self Ladies have judged me handsom and for my persons sake have given me favours nay they have wooed my love with great Expences maintained my Vanities and paid my Debts ruin'd their own and Husbands Honour and Estate and all for love of me yet do I sue to you with great Humility though many of your Sex have courted me and let me tell you fair Lady that Courtiers Wives have freer Access to Masks Plays Balls and Courtly Pleasures than other Ladies have who beg and strive and often are beaten back in rude disgrace All which fair Lady if you summ up right You 'l find a Courtiers Wife hath most delight Prudence Fair Sir could Person Courtship Garb or Habit win my love you should nor could not be deny'd But since my Affection is not to be won by any outward Form or Courtly Grace I cannot grant your sute besides the lives that Courtiers live agree not with my humour for I had rather travel to my Grave with ease than inconveniently Progress about tiring my body out lying in nasty lodgings feeding on ill drest meat that 's got by scrambling but at the best a Courtiers life to me is most unpleasant to sit up late at Masks and Plays to dance my time away in Balls to watch for Grace and favour and receive none to gape for Preferments Offices and Honours but get none to waste my Estate with Fees Gifts and Braveries to run in debt prodigally to receive Courtships privately to talk loud foolishly to betray friendship secretly to profess friendship commonly to promise readily to perform slowly to flatter grosly to be affected apishly no Prudent Brain or Noble Heart would interweave the thred of life with such vain Follies and unnecessary Troubles besides I had rather be Mistris of my own House were it a Cottage poor than serve the Gods if Gods were like to men Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Mistris Parle and Mistris Vanity VAnity My dear Comrade what thinkst thou will the Gentleman we met at Madam Gravities lodging marry me think you Parle I know not Vanity I verily believe he will Parle What reason have you to believe he will Vanity A very good reason which is he look'd upon me two or three times and at one time very stedfastly Parle If a man should marry all the women he looks on he will have more Wives than Solomon and the great Turk adding the number of their Concubines But the more earnestly the Gentleman look'd on you the greater sign he thought not of you for thoughts are buried in fix'd eyes Vanity You speak out of spight because I am thought handsomer than you Parle I had rather your Beauty should lie in your own others thoughts than it should be visible to the view of the World or to be inthrown on a multitude of Praises but howoever I am not spightful and therefore pray think not so for telling you my opinion of your no-lover Vanity You love your Jest better than your Friend Parle That 's an old saying but I love a plain truth better than a flattering lye Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Bashful Suter and his Friend Mr. Spokesman and the Assembly The Suter makes two or three legs wipes his lips and blows his nose with his handkerchief hems twice or thrice and trembling begins to speak BAshfull Suter Madam Madam Madam This Scene the Lord Marquiss writ Prudence Speak Sir what is 't you would say Spokesman Madam his Love and Modesty doth check his speech Prudence Then speak you for him His Friend goes and stands behind him and speaks the dumb Gentleman the while acts his Speech Spokesman Madam your Presence with you sparkling Eyes Hath dazel'd him and struck him dumb with Love Like to a bottle too much fill'd I doubt Though 's mouth 's turn'd downward nothing will come out Or like a Bag-pudding in love he 's curst So stuff'd so swell'd and yet he cannot burst Or like a glass with Spirits of high price No drop can fall when 't is congeal'd to Ice Sweet Lady thaw him then take him apart And then his Tongue will tell you all his Heart And gush it forth with more force far than those Who dribble all their love away in Prose Prudence I 'm all for Publick Wooing so no stain Upon my Reputation will remain With a dumb Husbands curse I 'll ne'r be caught But a dumb Wife a blessing may be
thought And so farewel Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Sir William Holdfast and his Friend Mr. Disswader HOldfast Sir Thomas Letgo's Mistris that he is to marry is a pretty Lady Disswader But I do not perceive he is very hasty to marry her Holdfast If she were mine I would not prolong my Wedding-day Disswader For fear she should die and you should lose her Estate Holdfast No I am not covetous for my Estate will maintain a Wife according to my quality although she bring no Portion and upon that condition I might have her I would give a Portion for her so much I like and fancy her Disswader And would you marry her if you might have her Holdfast Yes Disswader Pray tell me what would you do with a Fool she would be neither good for Breed nor Conversation for she might bring you a Race of Fools and vex you with ignorant Follies Holdfast Why should you think her a Fool she neither appears froward peevish or spightful she hath a sober Face a bashful Countenance a natural Garb she is silent and pensive which shews she is no Fool but if she were always laughing or toying or singing or dancing or simpering or prating or had an affected countenance or affected garbs or postures I should conclude her to be a Fool But certainly she must needs have a wise Wit for she seems melancholy and contemplative which no fool is she hears much and speaks little which no fool doth wherefore I judge she hath Wit but either she is careless and cares not to express it or thinks the company fools and therefore will not express it or is so bashful as she cannot express it and there is nothing shews or discovers Wit so much as Bashfulness which shews the Mind and Thoughts so sensible as they apprehend beyond anothers perceivance and so fearful lest they should commit Errors in their Actions and Expressions as they obscure their Virtues and natural Excellencies for want of a confident Assurance and a good Opinion of their own Abilities besides Bashfulness thinks the least natural defect a Crime and every little errour a Disgrace never to be rubb'd out they will blush at their own thoughts and will pine almost into a Consumption if two or three idle words should slip out of their mouths or that they should mistake an Argument or that their Behaviour was not so or so The truth is they never think their Actions or their Words well enough done or spoken they are the first that shall condemn themselves and the last that shall give themselves a pardon But prethee Ned as thou art my Friend see if you can procure me or watch for an opportunity that I might speak with her alone Disswader I think that were not difficult to be done but I will enquire a way Holdfast Do not forget it Disswader No it is so remarkable you should be in love with so simple a creature as I shall remember it Exeunt Scene 17. Enter the Lady Prudence and her Suter a Divine The Divine goeth to the place where the Suters plead and the Assembly about them DIvine Madam I should not thus presume did not my Profession dignifie me to a Spiritual Office wherefore a fit Suter to a Divine Lady And since my Sute is holy by reason Mariage is sacred despise me not Prudence Worthy Sir all of your Profession require a solitary Habitation for studious Contemplation to a holy life wherein their Thoughts are Consecrated to Devotion that their Doctrine may flow from a pure Mind in Eloquent words to the ears of their Flock to instruct them with the light of Knowledge and to lead them into the ways of Truth whereas Mariage although it be sacred in it self yet it is rather apt to disturb than unite especially a double Mariage which are of different Natures for there are two sorts of Mariages as a Spiritual and a Corporal The first is betwixt the Gods and Mankind the other is betwixt Man and Woman The one is by a Consecration and Communion of Spirits the other is by a Combination and Communication of Persons wherefore those that are maried to Iove ought to keep themselves pure in that Unity As for the mariage of Combination and Communication of Persons although it is requisite for the continuance of Mankind and civil Common-wealths yet to spiritual Elevations is is a great hinderance for though a woman especially a Wife be accounted as a Helper and Comfort to man by her diligent attendance and loving service yet women are accounted not only unprofitable in learned Schools but obstructers to a studious life for which women are not suffer'd to inhabite in Universities Schools or Colleges indeed we are in a maner banish'd from the sight or entrance thereinto and men have reason so to do since learning especially Divine learning requires study and study requires a quiet solitary and silent life and certainly there can be neither solitariness nor silence where women and children are for Nature hath made women and children to have restless spirits unquiet minds busiless active and such voluble tongues as it is impossible they should be silent whilest life gives them motion so that a woman is a very unfit companion for Contemplations wherein there should be no other company but thoughts which thoughts in a Divine should be only such as are the Inquirers and Searchers of Ioves divine Mysteries and Scholars to Ioves divine Schools and Orators to explain plead in Ioves divine Laws and servants to Ioves divine Orders that they may be Instructers and Intelligencers of Ioves divine Commands And though women ought to be instructed in Divinity yet for the most part women are obstructers and disturbers of Divinity and Divines besides the Original Woman was a Tempter to Sin which all her Effeminate Posterity inherit as a Natural Right and Gift from their great Grandmother And though Divines ought to be industrious to cut off the Intail of that Original Inheritance with their holy Doctrine quenching the fire of Temptation with the spiritual dew of Divine Instructions yet ought they not to run themselves into that fire they should quench serving as fuel to increase it Wherefore those that dedicate themselves to Ioves Church ought to live separated from Natures daughters lest they should yield to humane frailties and become slaves to the Effeminate Temptations Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Mistris Trifle and Mistris Parle TRifle Friend I am come to ask thy counsel Parle Concerning what Trifle Concerning Mariage Parle I will give you the best I can but it is both difficult and dangerous to give counsel in so weighty a Concernment as Mariage Trifle You say very true and being so weighty a Concernment as you say I am come for thy Advice not trusting to my own judgment and thus it is There is a Gentleman that hath come two or three times thorough out street and the last time he came he look'd up to my Chamber-window wherefore I conceive he
perfectly and knows your humour so exactly and can match your appetites with pleasure so justly as she hath work'd out her designs skilfully which is to displace me and to place her self in your Affections by which she can make a subtil advantage of your Estate and Fortune I mean good Fortune for in bad Fortune she may chance nay 't is most likely she will desert you for those that will and do forsake Virtue Chastity and Honour are not likely to stick to misfortunes as to follow Banishment or to live with Poverty to bear injury to endure Scorn and to die in Misery True Love may do it but for those Affections that are produced by Incontinency and not bound to Honesty and setled by Constancy will change more often than the wind wavering from person to person Courtly Wife I confess the Amorous Addresses I have made to other Women but though I have strayed in my Actions yet not in my Affections for my love is unalterably constant to you as believing you are unalterably virtuous and I do not only love your Chastity prize your Virtue honour your noble Soul and sweet Disposition but I take delight in your Wit am pleas'd with your Humors admire your Beauty and esteem and believe you to be the most perfect and best of your Sex But Wife know that my Appetites and not my Affections seek after variety for the kissing of a Mistris lessens not the Love to a Wife but rather increases it comparing the falseness and beastliness of the one to the Virtue and Purity of the other Iealousie And shall my Virtue and Chastity be only rewarded with your good Opinion Courtly Virtue Wife is a sufficient Reward in it self and the Chastity of your Sex is crown'd with Honour but the Reward I give you is the free use as a Co-partner of my Estate and the Mistris of my Family Besides I make you the chief care of my Industry the chief subject or object of my Valour the Treasure of my Life the only Possessor of my Heart and for your sake I shall neither refuse Death or Torment Thus you are the Soul of my Soul and since you have my whole soul to you self you may be well contented to lend my person to your Neighbours Wife Daughter Sister Neece or Maid Iealousie And will you be contented that I shall likewise borrow of your Neighbour Courtly No Wife for you can neither lend nor borrow without the loss of Honour Iealousie Nay rather than lose so great a loss as Honour I 'll strive to be content Husband Courtly Do you so Wife and I will strive and indeavour to be contented with my own Wife Exeunt ACT III Scene 21. Enter the Lady Prudence with two Suters a Citizen and a Farmer who both Plead or Wooe and she Answers The Assembly about them CItizen Madam although I cannot Wooe in Eloquent Orations or Courtly Solicitations or Learned Definitions being only bred to Industrious actions thrifty savings gainful gettings to inrich me with worldly wealth and not to studious Contemplations Poetical Fictions Divine Elevations Philosophical Observations State-Politicians School-contradictions Lawes Intrications by which perchance I might have gained Fame but not Wealth But Fame neither cloaths the naked nor feeds the hungry nor helps the distressed neither doth it maintain a Wife in Bravery where if you will be mine you shall sit in a shop all furnish'd with gold and great summs shall be brought you for exchange of my Wares and while you sit in my shop all street-passengers will stand and gaze on your Beauty and Customers will increase and be prodigal to buy whilst you sell not for the use of what they buy but for the delight to buy what you sell besides of all saleable curiosities varieties that are brought to the City you shall have the first offer and the first fruits and meats each Season doth produce shall be served to your taste your cloaths though of the City-fashion yet they shall rich and costly be besides to every Feast the City and each Citizen doth make they will invite you and place you as their chiefest guest and when you by your Neighbours doors do pass their Prentice-boys and Journey-men will leave their shop-boards and run to view you as you go Thus shall you live if you will be mine in Plenty Luxury Pride and Ease Prudence Rich Sir I may sit in your shop and draw Customers but shall get no honour by them I may sell your Wares but lose my Reputation I may be ador'd worship'd sought and pray'd to as for and to a Mistris but shall never be counted as a Saint I may be rich in wealth but poor of the Worlds good Opinion I may be adorn'd with silver and gold but blemish'd with censure and slander I may feed on luxurious Plenty yet my good name starve for want of a good Fame for a Citizens Wife is seldom thought chaste and the men for the most part accounted Cuckolds I know not whether it be a Judgment from Heaven for their Cozening or decreed by the Fates for their Covetousness or bred by a natural Effect of their Luxury which begets an Appetite to Wantonness but from what cause soever it comes so it is wherefore I will never be a Citizens Wife though truly I do verily believe there are as many virtuous and chaste women and understanding men that belong to the City as in the Country and were it not for the Citizens wealth more Antient Families would be buried in poverty than there hath been where many times a rich City-widow or daughter gives a dead Family a new Resurrection wherefore it is more prudent for men to marry into the City than it is advantagious for women especially such women that esteem a pure Reputation before wealth and had rather live in poverty than be mistrusted for dishonesty Then the Citizen goeth from the Standing-place and the Farmer takes it The Lady Prudence keeps her place all the while Farmer Madam although I cannot draw a Line of Pedigree from Gentility yet I can draw a Line of Peasantry five hundred years in length and if Antiquity is to be esteemed my Birth is not to be despised As for my wealth I am not poor but rich for my degree and quality and though it is not fit I should maintain my Wife in silver and gold yet I may maintain her with plenty and with store cloath her in fine smooth soft cloth spun from the fleeces of my Flocks But if you will be mine you shall be crown'd with Garlands made of Lillies Roses Violets Pinks and Daffidillies and be as Queen of all these Downs where all the Shepherds and Shepherdesses shall give you homage and worship you as Godess of the Plains bringing you Offerings of their mornings Milk their Butter Curds and soft prest Cheese and various Fruits fresh gather'd off their Trees also my Kids and Lambs shall sport and play and taught to know your voice
had yet all the good seeds that Nature and Education hath sown in me and sprouted forth in bud are nipt with Misfortunes wither'd with Sorrows blasted with Sighs and drown'd in Tears Holdfast For what Mute For being inslav'd unto an unworthy person who neither loves Virtue nor values Honour but laughs at my youth and flings scorns on my Innocency which makes me almost murmur at Heaven and apt to think the Gods unjust to let Fortune betray me to Power and Tyranny Holdfast Trouble not your self for certainly your bondage may be taken off if it be discreetly handled for he seems willing to part with you upon easie terms for you heard him offer to sell you Mute I wish I were worth your Purchase Holdfast Would you willingly change him for me Mute I cannot be worse and you seem so noble a person as perswades me to hope I may be happy Holdfast And if I had the whole World I would give it for you rather than not have you and I should think my self more inrich'd by the enjoyment than if the Gods made new Worlds to present me Mute I have heard Heaven protects the Innocent defends the Harmless and provides for the Helpless which if it doth the Gods will give me you Exeunt Scene 27. Enter Mistris Parle Mistris Trifle Mistris Fondly Mistris Vanity and one of the Matrons PArle Ha ha ha Is this the young wife Lady that all the World admir'd for her Prudence and Judgment Vanity Faith her Judgment hath err'd in her choise Fondly I am glad for now I may marry to whom I will for I cannot choose worse and my Father and Mother did bid me nay charged me to imitate her Trifle So did mine Vanity And mine Parle Well for my part I rejoyce for now we shall have the old way of Wooing again to imbrace and kiss in corners to hear amorous and wanton discourse Fondly That way of wooing is best Vanity You say true for I hate this way of wooing there is no pleasure in it Parle No saith to stand gazing and prating a mile asunder Matron You make short miles Parle Why two inches is a Lovers mile and three a long league Trifle It was not likely she should choose well or ever be happily married Matron Why so Trifle By reason she was curs'd by all the maids back-holders widows and widowers in the Town Matron But she had the prayers of all the maried women Parle But she had the curses of all the maried men for they croud in amongst the back-holders sometimes Exeunt Scene 28. Enter Sir Thomas Letgo and the Lady Liberty LEtgo Sweet Madam you are the Godess which my Thoughts adore Liberty You flatter Letgo Love cannot flatter for Lovers think all their praises truth Liberty The Lady Mute is your Godess Letgo If there were no other Godess of your Sex but she I should become an infidel to love nay an Atheist believing there were no such Deity as Love Exeunt Scene 29. Enter the Lady Prudence and Intelligencer her Woman INtelligencer Madam all the Town condemns you Prudence And do you condemn me too Intelligen. No Madam for I am bound as being your servant to submit to your will liking and pleasure Prudence Why the choise is honest for they may swear I am not enamour'd with his Person But had he been a fair Youth or known to be a debanch'd Man they might have justly condemn'd me either for my fond Affection and amorous Love or wilde Choice Intelligencer 'Faith they may think your Choise is wilde by reason you have chosen out of a Labyrinth not knowing where his beginning or end is Prudence Why Virtue is the Beginning and Happiness I hope will be the End Intelligen. I wish it may prove so Madam Prudence But pray tell me Did you ever hear me speak worse than I did to him Intelligen. How do you mean Madam in that you gave your self away Prudence No in that I did not present my self more Eloquently Intelligen. Methought your Speech did not flow so smooth as it was us'd to do as if your Tongue did know you did commit a fault in granting to his Sute Prudence No truly for my desire did out-run my speech for desiring to speak best to him I loved most obstructed my Tongue which made my words run unevenly Intelligen. That 's a common misfortune for when any one strives to speak wisely they most often speak foolishly Prudence 'T is true for strife is an enemy to speech for those that speak not free and easie never speak well For when as Passion wrestles with the Tongue The Sense is weak and down the words are slung Exeunt Scene 30. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntleman 'T is strange the Lady Prudence that is so beautiful rich and nobly born and hath so great a wit should chuse a man so poor and mean and so ill-favour'd 2 Gentlem. In my opinion it is not strange for certainly there is a sympathy between the spirits of virtuous souls which begets love although in deformed persons And this is the true Love for that which proceeds from Covetousness or Ambition or is produced by the Senses is rather an Appetite which is apt to surfet or dies as soon as enjoy'd or turns with Fortunes wheel 1 Gentlem. Well I wish for the Ladies sake who is known to be Virtuous her Husband may prove as Virtuous as she Exeunt Scene 31. Enter a Grave Matron Mistris Fondly Mistris Vanity Mistris Trifle and Mistris Parle MAtron Ladies do you hear the News Parle VVhat News Matron VVhy Mistris Simple is gone very early this morning out of Town with Sir Anthony Gosling and 't is said they will be maried before they return Vanity I cannot believe it for she was the most unlikely to be maried of any of us all Parle I perceive that Maid that can have Fortune to be her friend shall not want a Husband Fondly You say true and Fortune is a better friend than our Parents are for our Parents are contented we should live Maids all the time of our lives when Fortune most commonly gives Maids Husbands at one time or other Matron Ladies why do you complain of your Parents for their wary care who would not have you marry but to such Husbands as you may be happy withall and therefore are cautious how to chuse when Fortune makes Matches at Random Fondly I had rather marry at Random than not marry at all Matron Why then perchance in stead of a worthy person you may marry a base fellow and in stead of a rich husband a beggar Parle Those women that are curious in their Choise may chance to die old Maids Matron 'T is better to die an old Maid than to live a miserable life which will be if an unhappy Wife Vanity There is no misery like being an old Maid She sings a piece of an old Song O that I were so happy once to be a wedded Wife I would fulfil my Husbands will all the
with their hats off he leading in the Bride his Princess and a great many Ladies waiting on her The Prince and Princess sit in two Chairs and the rest of the company on each side of them to see an Anti mask presented to them When the Antick-maskers had danced a Song was sung These Songs following the Lord Marquiss writ Song VErtue and Honour you did take And Beauty scorn'd as vading Thus you a Godess it doth make Rove mortal Ladies trading They love the Body you the Soul They Shape but you the Mind Your Love those grosser loves controll Which shews their Love is blind His wooden Leg is thrown away The black Patch for the blind The Bunch on 's back asswag'd to day As hansome as his Mind This now is your reward Sweet Madam The Gods they are not lath To give you one handsome as Adam And thus enjoy them both Then the Maskers dance again and after their Dance another Song Song Loves Miracles not ceased be The Lame to walk the Blind to see The Crooked is made straight 't is true And these Loves Wonders made by you His Body metamorphos'd is By your Ambrosia sweeter kiss Such power hath Love when you do sip The Gods pure Nectar from your Lip All Ioys attend you night and day Be each to other fresh as May Renewing pleasures every hour And sweeter than the sweetest Flower The Maskers dance again and after another Song Song Envious Ladies now repine Since you are crost In having lost A Prince so handsome and so fine Mourn in black patches for your sins Despair each Curl And every Purl And throw away your dressing-pins Lay by your richer Gowns of State For now you 'l faint For all your paint When think of your unhappier Fate For these Love-pitfals they are stale And all despise Your glancing Eyes For all forc'd Arts in Love they 'l fail Now let your specious gliding pass Or your Lips fed With biting red Despair and break each Looking-glass Here ends my Lord Marquis his writing Then the Maskers dance again and so goe out the Prince and Princess and the Company goes out all but a Matron and some young Ladies who stay and look upon each other very sadly without speaking to each other Matron What Ladies are you Thunder-struck with the Princes Honour or are you blasted with the Lightning of his Splendor or crush'd with the wheel of her good Fortune Parle Lord Lord how blindly Fortune throws her gifts away Matron One would think she had clear Eyes when she bestow'd her Favours upon the Princess Vanity She is become so proud since she is become a Princess as she will not look on us that were her companions and she thinks scorn to speak to us for she said not one word to any of us Matron She had no occasion to speak to you but I am confident If you speak to her you will find her as civil and obliging as ever she was Fondly 'Faith we care not for we can live without being oblig'd to her Parle They are not the happiest that have the greatest Titles Trifle Pride will have a Fall Matron I perceive it is hand to get the good opinion of the World for you rail'd at her Course laugh'd at her Choise condemn'd her Mariage and now you envy her good Success Parle We envy her you are mistaken for she must be of greater value and we less worthy than we are to raise an Envy Matron Nay Ladies if you are angry I will leave you Parle Then we shall be rid of a pratling fool Exit Matron Enter three or four old Ladies the Mothers to the young Ladies 1 Old Lady O wisedome in youth is a wonder 2 Old Lady Happy is that Parent that hath a discreet Child 3 Old Lady Such Children give their Parents Honour in their Graves 4 Old Lady Pray let us Petition that a Law may be Enacted for this Publick Wooing 1 Old Lady We shall not need to Petition for the Princess I dare warrant you will get the Prince to Enact a Law for this Publick Wooing for her Fame she being the only first that hath been wooed so So they all speak together Old Ladies Well Daughters make her your Pattern Exeunt Old Ladies Trifle Yesterday that was the Wedding-day my Parents did condemn the Bride calling her Fool and saying she was mad and forbid me to imitate her Parle 'T is no wonder our Natures are so various when as our Education are so inconstant for we are instructed to imitate Fortune which is to be restless and to spoil that good we have done Vanity Or to better the worse Parle No 'faith for I perceive Fortune hath more power to do hurt than good for Fortune ruines or at least disturbs Virtuous Acts and frustrates Wisedom's Counsels Enter a Messenger Messenger Ladies the Princess desires your company to dance Parle Pray excuse me Sir for I have so great a pain on my left side as I can hardly fetch my breath Vanity And I have such a pain in my head as I dare not dance for fear it should ake more Trifle And truly I have so streight a shooe as it is a pain for me to tread a step Fondly And I am not well in my stomach wherefore excuse us Sir to the Princess Exeunt Scene 44. Enter the Lady Parrot and the Lady Minion and the Lady Gosling PArrot God give you Joy I have not seen you since you were maried Minion You are welcome into the maried Society Gosling I thank you Madam Truly I am so tyr'd Parrot With what Madam Gosling With helping my Neighbour the Lady Breeder to hold her back Minion VVhy is she in Labour Gosling She is brought to Bed but on my word she hath had a hard bargain for she hath had a sore Labour Parrot VVhat hath God sent her Gosling A lusty boy Indeed it is one of the goodliest children that ever I saw Minion But how chance she did not send for me to her Labour Gosling She came on such a sudden as she had hardly Time to send for the Midwife but she was mightily troubled you were not there she doubts you will take it ill Parrot We have reason for if we could not have come time enough to her Labour we might have come time enough to the cup of Rejoycing Gosling But she will bid you to the Christening Minion That 's some amends But this hard labour of the Lady Breeders will fright you Gosling No for I have as much courage as other maried Wives have though truly Sir Anthony Gosling my Husband was very loth I should goe for said he to me prethee sweet Duck do not go I answer'd and said to him my hony-love I must go for it is the part of one wife to help another besides a gossipping company doth help to ease the womens pains and if I go not to their Labour they will not come to mine Minion Why are you with Child Gosling No but I
26. Enter the Lady Jealousie as holding her Head and Sir Edward Courtly her Husband COurtly What are you sick Wife Iealousie I have such a pain in my Head as I am not able to look up or to speak Courtly You should take some Physick Iealousie I cannot take Physick Courtly You must take Physick if you be not well but pray have a care you do not catch cold for that will do you hurt But I must be gone about my several Affairs wherefore God be with you wife Sir Edward Courtly goes out The Lady Jealousie calls her Maid Iealousie Nan Maid Madam Iealousie Go make me a White-wine Caudle Maid I shall Madam Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lady Chastity and the Lady Procurer PRocurer Madam I am not come upon my own Score but upon a new one for I am intreated or rather commanded by a young Gentleman to kiss your Ladiships hands as from him who durst not come to do it himself without your leave Chastity Truly he shall never have leave from me Procurer He begs that your Ladiship would give him leave to be your admiring Servant Chastity He may admire without my leave and I wish I had Merits worth admiring Procurer By my Troth Madam he is a most sweet young Gentleman Chastity Hath Nature perfum'd him or Art Procurer Both Madam Chastity That 's too much and will be apt to give the Head-ach Procurer O Madam he is most desperately in Love with your Ladyship Chastity Pray Heaven Madam he doth not hang himself before my door Procurer 'Faith Madam it is to be fear'd he will do some violent Act upon himself unless you pity him Chastity Is he in distress Procurer As much as Love can make him Chastity How should I help him Madam Procurer Nothing can help him but Love's Returns in kind Imbracements Chastity Would you have me a maried Wife imbrace an Amorous Lover Procurer O Madam stolen pleasures are sweet and Mariage is a Cloak to hide Love's meetings Chastity And can it hide the sin from the Gods and the falshood from my Husband as well as from the World But let me tell you the World is quick-sighted as to Particulars though blind as to the General complaining against single crimes yet never helps to mend them Procurer 'Faith Madam the Gods easily pardon natural faults and Husbands dare not spy them at least not to divulge them and the World censures all the Virtuous as much as the Wicked and the Chaste as much as the Wanton besides you are excusable being maried to an antient man Chastity Doth Age deserve no Love Procurer 'Faith little for Love wears out with Time and Age wears out of Love and if you said you did love your Husband no body would believe you for who can think you that are young and fair can love a man that 's old Chastity By Heaven I never thought my Husband old for he doth appear to me to be just at Maturity adorned with all the Graces Procurer Surely you do not think his silver Hair Apollo's Locks Chastity No but I think them Pallas's his Head-peece Procurer Nor can you think his hollow Eyes that 's sunk into his Head are Cupids golden Arrows Chastity No but I think them Minerva's Loom which hath inter-weav'd several Objects making various and most curious works of Knowledge and of Wit where Judgment in the midst is plac'd and Understanding borders it Procurer And can you think his shoulder bent by weak old Age are Cupids Bow Chastity No but I can think it 's like a Bank swell'd out by Generosity to bear Necessities burdens on or else a heap of Noble Deeds fals'd by Heroick Actions whereon Fame sits in Triumph and blows his praise abroad that all the World may hear it Procurer I will never believe you can think the furrows in his face plough'd up by Time as smooth as waters be when in a calm Chastity No but I can think them Tracks or Paths made by Experience in which walks Prudence Fortitude Justice and Temperance And though you strive to make my Husband seem much older than he is yet I believe that neither Time nor Age hath power over him for to my sight his Skin is as smooth as Light his Eyes as darting as Apollo's Beams his Body is as straight as Serzes Wand able to charm the youngest she and turn her all to Love his Strength is active and his Spirits quick to carry Arms or sight his Enemies and for his Brain 't is equally temper'd not burnt with heat nor frozen up with cold nor are his Sinews out of tune by flacken'd Nerves but just set to Lifes Harmony Strength strings the Cords and Health doth keep just Time Procurer Ha ha ha sweet Lady your love hath made him a most Heavenly Creature Chastity Foul Devil that seeks for to corrupt the Mariage-bed with false Dispraise and flattering Insinuations carrying fond Loves recommendations from Ear to Ear Youth being credulous they are soon receiv'd which you perceiving strait strive to sow in tender hearts Loves Amorous Passions from whence Adultery doth grow and Vices do increase You a Lady a Bawd O that Honour the mark of Merit should be plac'd on such base subjects as you are Be gone such Bawds as you are not only able to disorder a private Family but to ruine a whole Kingdome you are worse than Witches and do more mischief Lady Chastity goes out Lady Procurer alone Procurer O that I had that power to make her Husband so jealous as he might hate her Exit Scene 28. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and Sir VVilliam Lovewell HYpocondria O Husband I am a dead woman for all my side is numb nay in a dead Palsie I cannot feel my Arm Lovewell Heaven forbid let me rub your Arm He rubs her Arm But Wife if it were dead you could not move it and you can move it can you not Hypocondria Yes but very weakly Lovewell Wrap it up with warm cloaths until such time as the Doctor can be sent for Come into your Chamber and I will send for the Doctor strait Hypocon. No pray do not send for the Doctor now for with your rubbing my Arm you have brought the lively spirits into it again Lovewell I am glad of it but pray keep your bed Exeunt Scene 29. Enter the Lady Jealousies Waiting-Gentlewoman and her Chamber-maid GEntlewoman My Lady doth not like her Caudle wherefore she will have a Sack-posset made her Chambermaid Not like it why she eat a great porrenger of it Gentlewoman That 's all one my Lady did not like it and therefore you must make a Sack-posset Chambermaid What fault found she with it Gentlewoman She did not express her particular dislike but in the general Chambermaid Well I shall make her a Posset strait Exeunt Scene 30. Enter two servant-maids of the Lady Disagrees 1 MAid Heaven be thanked my Master and Lady are perfectly friends again for she sits in his lap and he kisses her very
Lovewel But as Allay makes gold work better for use so Temperance makes Love Happy for life Hypocon. Well Husband I will strive to love with Discretion Lovewel Pray do and goe abroad to divert your melancholy and eat as others do that may have good meat and drink and not live by the Air as you do Hypocon. I shall obey you Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Inconstant alone LAdy Inconstant O Cupid thou art a cruel Tyrant making more wounds than remedies And I am wounded so as I am sick with Love and cannot live unless I am belov'd again To make my Passions know is all my care Lest he should love me not is all my fear Exeunt Scene 13. Enter the Lady Procurer and Sir Thomas Cuckold LAdy Procurer Sir Thomas Cuckold Monsieur Amorous desires very much to make friendship with you for he is so taken with your Civilities and your courteous Demeanors when he was to visit you that he swears you are one of the finest Gentlemen in the Kingdome He says you are so gravely wise so hospitably kind and so generously free as he honours you and loves you with his soul Cuckold I am his very humble Servant and shall be glad nay proud of such a worthy Friend as Monsieur Amorous Procurer Have you returned his Visit Cuckold No but I 'll go wait upon him immediatly Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Nan the Lady Jealousies Maid going through the room crying and the Fool following her singing FOol Childrens eyes are always flowing Womens tongues are always going And mens brains are always musing And mans natures all abusing And mans life is always running And mans death is always comming Enter Mistris Single Single VVhose death is comming Fool. Yours for any thing I know wherefore take heed for let me tell you Death is a rough fellow for he pulls the soul out of the body as a Barber-Chirurgeon doth a tooth sometimes with less pain sometimes with more but many times Death is forc'd to tear the body as a Tooth-drawer tears the jaw-bone before he can get it out Single VVhat Instruments doth Death draw out the Soul with Fool. Sickness VVounds Passions Accidents and the like Single But how came Death and you so well acquainted Fool. VVe are near a Kin for Death and Ignorance are Cousin-Germans Single 'Faith thou art rather a Knave than a Fool and a Knave is nearer a-kin to Life than Death Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lady Disagree and her Chaplin Master Perswader DIsagree VVell I am resolv'd to be Divorced from my Husband for I cannot endure his tyranny any longer for he will let me have my will in nothing crosses and contradicts me in every thing Perswader Madam we are taught to obey and humble our selves to our Superiours and the Husband is the Master of his Family the Governour of his Estate and Ruler and Disposer of his Children the Guide and Protector of his VVife Disagree Yes he protects me well indeed when he breaks my head Perswader May be your Ladyship doth provoke him with some unkind words Disagree VVhat unkind words were they I only said that Goos-quils made the best pens to write with and he said no that Crows-quils were better for that purpose 't is true at last I returned as bad words as he flung at me Perswader Truly Madam it is a great grief to your friends and servants to see yoo live so disquietous together besides you torment your selves with your own anger Disagree That 's the reason I would part for I will never be a slave to his humour I will rather chuse to die first Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Sir Humphrey Disagree and Master Makepeace his Friend SIr Hum. Disagree It were better we were parted than to live in a perpetual war together Makepeace But Sir is it not possible to temper your Passion Disagree No truly for her words are so sharp and pierce so deep that they make me as furious as a wilde Boar that is hurt with a Javelin And since she cannot temper her Tongue nor I temper my Passion it will be best for us to live asunder for absence is the best and most certain remedy I can think of Scene 17. Enter two Serving-men of Sir VVilliam Lovewels 1 SErvant Have not you heard that my Master hath had a Quarrel and is wounded 2 Servant Yes and 't is said he fought so valiantly as he beat half a dozen lusty men and followed them so close as they were forc'd to take shelter and I have also heard that one of them he beat swears to be revenged 1 Servant But if my Lady hears of it she will run mad or die 2 Servant O no my Lady Ioan says hath left those follies and is become discreet 1 Servant Discreet what is that to be ill-natur'd as not to care if her Husband or Friends be kill'd 2 Servant O yes so much to care as to pity them and be sorry nay sad if they should be kill'd but not passionately to drown themselves in tears or to let their grief feed on their life and die Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Monsieur Amorous and Sir Thomas Cuckold They meet each other and imbrace as two dear Friends CUckold O my sweet Amorous Amorous O my dear Cuckold the delight of my Life Cuckold 'Faith Amorous I have been to seek you all the Town over and my Lady Procurer met me and sent me to the other end of the City telling me you were at the Horn-Tavern Amorous Why do you not know her humour she will serve you twenty such tricks for she is the veriest Wag in all the Town although she is in years Cuckold Well if I be not even with her as very a Wag as she is let me be condemn'd for a fool Exeunt ACT III Scene 19. Enter a Maid as to her Lady the Lady Hypocondria MAid O Madam my Master is comming home being wounded in a Duel The Lady swouns Maid Help help my Lady my Lady Enter Joan her Maid Ioan. What 's the matter Maid My Lady is kill'd with the report of my Masters being hurt Ioan. It were fit you should be punish'd for telling her of it They raise the Lady and bow her forward She revives but with a groan Lady groans Oh oh Ioan. Take life again for my Master is not so much hurt as to be in danger of Death Hypocon. Do you speak this as a known truth or for to recover me Ioan. As a truth upon my Conscience Madam Hypocon. Then I charge you do not discover my Passion Ioan. We shall not Exeunt Scene 20. Enter Sir VVilliam Lovewell and two of his men and his Man Roger Trusty LOvewell Go and give charge to my Footmen that none of them run home to tell my Wife of my hurt for fear of frighting her for if she hears I am hurt before she sees me she will apprehend me worse than I am and that may kill her Servant Sir she hath heard of it already
Lovewel Rogue that he was that he was that told her who was it Roger Trusty It was I Sir when I went to fetch your Leaguer-cloak to keep you warm Lovewel Villain I 'll run you through Trusty What you please Sir but my Lady takes it very patiently for when she heard of it she was playing on the Lute and did not leave playing at the report Lovewel I am glad she is so discreet Trusty Truly Sir I think my Lady is now one of the wisest and discreetest Ladies in the Town Lovewel What for playing on the Lute Trusty No Sir but for being so patient and temperate as all wise persons are who bear afflictions with that Moral Philosophical Carelesness and as they call it passive Courage composing their Faces into a Grave surly Countenance fashioning their Behaviour with Formality walking with a slow and stately Pace speaking nothing but Wise Sentences and Learned Morals Lovewel You are a moral Ass and although my wounds are but small yet I grow faint with standing to hear a fool talk Exeunt Scene 21. Enter the Lady Inconstant and Monsieur Disguise LAdy Inconst. Sir I believe you may wonder and think it strange that a woman can love a stranger so soon and so much Disguise I doe not think it strange in Nature but I think it strange you should affect me a person which is no way worthy of your Favour and your Love unless you like a Deity humbly descend to mortals accepting of their Adorations and Offerings And as a mortal to a Deity I offer up my Heart on the Altar of your Obligations Inconstant Here I do vow to Venus not only to offer you my person and all delights that it can yield but I offer you my Honour my Fathers Honour my Husbands Honour nay their lives if you require it Disguise I must confess your Husbands life is dangerous for we cannot well enjoy our loves with safety if that your Husband lives Inconstant Name but the way unto his Death and I will execute it Disguise I cannot for you must do it as you find Fortune gives you opportunity Inconstant Farewel and believe I shall let no opportunity slip that might bring my designs to pass The Lady Inconstant goes out Monsieur Disguise alone Disguise My revenge is too big for words all actions to little for his punishment wherefore you furies I invoke you to assist me and if Hell gives me not help Heaven or Death give me ease Exit Scene 22. Enter the Lady Procurer and Monsieur Amorous LAdy Procurer Now Monsieur Amorous you and the Lady Wanton shall not need to make so many excuses to meet for your going into the Country with Sir Thomas Cuckold you will be always in the House with his Lady Amorous Faith I have a great deal of business in the City which may suffer if I should go out of the Town Procurer Out upon you make excuses already Amorous I do not make excuses I only tell you the truth of my affairs Procurer Can you have any affairs greater or of more concernment than waiting on a Mistriss and such a Mistriss as you were a dying for to enjoy but a little time since well go thy ways Monsieur Amorous for thou art like a woman that hath fits of the Mother often swouning and sick but never dyes in any of them Amorous The Lady Chastity would be like a draught of cold water to bring me to life again Procurer Let me tell thee as those fits will never kill thee so all the Chastity in the Town can never cure thee Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and Joan her Maid LAdy Hypocondria Pray Iuno my Husband doth not perceive I have cry'd Ioan. You need not fear it for the hot Cloath you laid to your eyes hath sok'd out the redness and abated the swelling thereof but I doubt you will cry when you see him Hypocondria I hope I shall be wiser than to cry for I would not have my Husband think me a Fool or troublesome for the world Ioan. But surely Madam you must needs torment your Soul to strive so much against nature Hypocondria Love had rather torment it self then torment what it loves Ioan. Your Ladyship will make the old Proverb good which sayes love overcomes all things and surely it overcomes all when it overcomes nature it self Exeunt Scene 24. Enter the Lady Jealousy and the Fool LAdy Iealousy Prethy Fool watch thy Master and my Maid Nan and when they are together give notice and I will give thee a new Coat Fool. I shall stand Sentinel and give the watch-word The Lady Jealousy goes out The Fool alone Fool. Most Creatures their tails lyes in their heads or their heads lyes in their Neighbours tayles nose to breech for they are always thinking thereof which makes their thoughts as sluts and slovens their brains like to a heapt-up Dunghil but I must watch my Master and his Maid to catch Exeunt Scene 25. Enter Master Makepeace and Master Perswader friend and Chaplain to Sir Humphrey Disagree MAster Makepeace 'T is strange that Sir Humphrey Disagree and his Lady cannot agree yet they are both of good natures and generous Souls keep a noble House and are bountifull to their Servants kind and courteous to their Friends and he a very understanding Gentleman and a learned Scholar and an honest Man Perswader And she is a very Chast Lady a good Huswife and very orderly in her House as concerning what she is to take care of or to direct and is very pious and devout and yet both to be so indiscreet as to fall out about light toys and frivolous matters Makepeace 'T is strange and truly great pitty wherefore we ought to do our indeavour to try if we can make them friends Perswader Surely that might be easily done for they are as apt and as soon friends when their anger 's over as they are apt to fall out when they are friends and I make no doubt to make them friends but the business is to keep them friends and the question is whether it were not better they should be parted friends than present enemies Makepeace Yet we have discharged our parts if we make or do our indeavour to make them friends Perswader Well Sir perswade the Husband and I will try to perswade the Wife Exeunt Scene 26. Enter Monsieur Disguise and Sir Francis Inconstant SIr Francis Inconstant Sir you do amaze me for I have not been so long married as to give her time for Incontinency nor have I been so ill a Husband as yet as to create or beget her hate towards me Disguise Sir if I do not prove it I shall be content to suffer the heaviest punishment you can inflict upon me and because your belief is wavering I will place you where you shall hear her declare her intentions as towards your Death Inconstant I long to prove the Truth Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lady Wanton and the Lady
your Sute despises your Person and hates your Humour Amorous Pluto take all your sex Procurer If he should you would whiningly follow them to Hell rather than miss their Company refusing Heaven for effeminate Society Amorous They torment men more than Devils do Exeunt Scene 33. Enter Master Makepeace and Master Perswader MAster Makepeace Now Sir Humphrey Disagree and his Lady are made good friends they are become a loving Couple Perswader Heaven keep them so Makepeace Truly I begin to believe they will for they seem very sensible of their errors and they laugh at their one follies to see what ridiculous frivolous and small matters their quarels are built with and upon Exeunt Enter Sir Humphrey Disagree and his Lady Sir Humphrey Disagree Look you Wife here is the Priest that hath new married us and our friend that hath joyned us in a loving friendship again Lady Disagree And I will celebrate this Union with a Feast to which I will invite my good friends as to my wedding day Humphrey Disagree I perceive we shall be merry pray let us have Fidlers and Dance Lady Disagree That we will Exeunt Scene 34. Enter Sir VVilliam Lovewell upon a Couch as being weak and his Lady following him SIr William Lovewell Come come Wife you are not so kind as you were wont to be for you did use to watch my looks my sleep and how I fetcht my breath in my sleep and what I did eat and how much I did eat for fear I should be sick and no help unsought to cure me But I perceive you are as all other women are inconstant for now you do neglect me and seldom come near me but when I send for you Hypocondria I dare not for fear my diligence may prove loves indiscretion and so my service become a burthensome trouble Enter one of the Men Sir William fought with and beat with a Pistol in his hand the Lady Hypocondria sees him and on the sudden runs to the Man and snatches the Pistol out of his hand the whilst the Man was in amaze at it She Shoots him with his own Pistol the noise of the Pistol brings in the Servants Hypocondria You Cowardly Rogue do you take the advantage of sickness to work your revenge do you come when my Husband is not able to defend himself The Man falls and sayes O I am kill'd Hypocondria Kill'd if you had a thousand lives my single life would kill them all rather than suffer my Husband to be murdered The Servants all the while stand at a distance as being all afrighted Hypocondria You Company of dull dead statues move for shame and bear away this Villain this murderous Villain Servants Where should we carry him Madam Hypocondria Why any where cast him into a Ditch there let him ly and rot like Beasts without Buriall The mean while Sir William Lovewell having recovered his breath which was spent in striving to get up from his Couch but being very weak he could not Lovewell Carry him to a Justice and bid the Justice dispose of him as he thinks fit telling him of his crime Servants Let us search him to see if he hath never another Pistol Lovewell Go you Cowards and carry him away The Servants and Man goes out O this effeminate sickness hath disgraced me O how like a worm a sick man is which lyes so low and is so shiftless that any beast treads out his life Hypocondria Why had you been in health and strength it would have been no Honour to beat a Coward Lovewell He seem'd not such a Coward but that he had some courage or otherwise he would not have adventur'd himself alone into a House wherein were many persons which would have been his Enemies but I am glad that you have the honour of his wounds but it is a miracle to me to see how valiantly you did behave your self and yet by nature is so fearfull Hypocondria Mistake not Love for true Love is only afraid when it cannot help but when it hath hopes to rescue what it loves Mars is not Valianter Lovewell Well Wife I owe my life to your love and I shall account you as Pallas that hath defended me with a prudent courage Hypocondria If you think I have done you service worthy a reward pray give me a request Lovewell That I shall if it be that life you have defended what is it Hypocondria It is to set love free from the Chains of discretion and Jailer of temperance for it is impossible to confine love but either it will dy or break out in revenge Lovewell VVell VVife hereafter I will never oppose loves wayes Exeunt Scene 35. Enter Sir Francis Inconstant and Monsieur Disguise MOnsieur Disguise Sir did you hear what your Lady said Francis Inconstant Yes I heard her say she would poyson me in a mess of broath Disguise VVhat will you do to prevent it Inconstant Leave that care to me I shall be my own Sentinel to discern the aproaching Poyson Sir Francis goes out Monsieur Disguise alone Disguise Their Deaths will be my triumph and my Death a reprieve Exit Scene 36. Enter Monsieur Amorous and the Lady Procurer LAdy Procurer I am come to invite you to a Collation for the Lady Wanton for whom you at first made costly Collations is forced to invite you now to the like Amorous Faith Madam I am so squezy stomacked that the very sight of a Banquet will put me into an Apoplexy as with an obstructed Surfit Procurer If you should deny her you would lose you reputation amongst our Sex for ever Amorous Well I will go upon condition that you carry a message from me to another Lady Procurer Most willingly so it be not to the Lady Chastity Exeunt Scene 37. Enter Mistriss Single and Raillery Jester the Fool MIstriss Single Prethy Fool give me advice as how to choose a Husband Fool. Faith you are wise to take a Fools Counsel for Fools have for the most part best Fortune either in their Counsel or Choice Single Why are Fools Fortunes favourites Fool. Yes for by Fools Fortune plainly shews her power when wise men usurp it striving to take her power from her Single Then Fortune direct thee to direct me Fool. Fortune is giddy and directs by chance which causes so many misfortunes Single Then by your direction I may be unfortunate but I will venture wherefore tell me how to choose Fool. VVhy then you must choose a Husband by the Ear Single By the Eye you mean Fool. No faith those that would be happily match'd must choose a Husband or VVife by the Ear and not by the Eye for though report is oft-times false yet it seldom flatters nay for the most part it is so far from giving merit its due Praises as it detracts therefrom Single But Fortune carries worthless men upon the tongue of fame Fool. 'T is true but Fortune being giddy is apt to stagger and so to stumble and oft-times flings those worthless men
Disagree No pray Husband let them alone a little while longer Humphrey Disagree If you keep them out untill our Stomacks be full we shall be so dull and heavy with the vapour of the meat as it will not be in the power of Musick to move our minds to mirth or so drunk with VVine as the Musick will make us mad Lady Disagree I hope you will not be mad before you are drunk Humphrey Disagree No VVife I will be merry before I am drunk wherefore Servants call them in She speaks as to the Servants Lady Disagree Let them alone Humphrey Disagree I say they shall come and play and therefore call them in Lady Disagree I say they shall not come in nor play therefore forbid them Humphrey Disagree Surely I will be Master and therefore they shall play Lady Disagree Surely I will be Mistriss of this Feast and therefore they shall not play Humphrey Disagree Call them Lady Disagree Let them alone The Servants the while sometimes run as to the door and then as from it not knowing whether they should obey Sir Humphrey rises as to call them himself She rises also Humphrey Disagree They shall come and play He offers to go She puls him back Lady Disagree They shall not play He shoves her from him she takes her Napkin and rouls it flings it at him he flings another at her she takes a Plate and throws at him he Curses and she Scolds their Friends strive to part them and in the strife and bussle down goeth all the Pots and Dishes and so they go fighting and striving off the Stage The Servants take away all the meat and things and after all was gone Enter two Maid-Servants 1 Maid Lord there is such doings within as it is wonderfull my Master swears my Lady cries and rails and rails and cries 2 Maid in truth it is a sad Feast and I was joyed to think how merry we should all be 1 Maid And I pleased my self to think what good cheer we should have and what dainties we should eat 2 Maid Why so you may still 1 Maid No Faith in this Hurlyburby every one catcht who catch could that all is vanish'd and purloyn'd away in this disorder 2 Maid Come let us go and see whether they can agree or not 1 Maid That they can never do so long as the sound of their tongues is within the distance of their Ears besides nature hath not matcht their dispositions or humours 2 Maid You say right intruth their Souls are mismatcht and therefore it is impossible they should ever agree Exeunt Scene 46. Enter Sir Francis Inconstant and Monsieur Disguise SIr Francis Inconstant Sir my VVife your Mistriss is Dead Monsieur Disguise No Sir my Mistriss and your VVhore is Dead Inconstant You are a Villain to corrupt her Disguise You are a Villain to marry her Inconstant Draw for either or both of us Villains shall dy Disguise I fear not Death nor you They both draw their Swords Disguise Justice defend the wrong'd and take my part They fight and give each other deadly wounds Sir Francis Inconstant falls and as he lay on the ground speaks Inconstant Heaven is just to punish perjury with violent Death O my Conscience how it stings me at my Death with the remembrance of the wrongs I did my first love Monsieur Disguise sinks close by Sir Francis and then discovers her self Mistriss Forsaken Do you know this Face or have my sorrows disfigur'd it so much as you cannot call it to remembrance Sir Francis Starts Inconstant You powers above affright not my fleeting Soul with visions but let it gently pass and leave my body to the silent grave He directs his Speech to her Inconstant You Spirit divine take not revenge for I am truly sorry for the wrongs I did thee in thy life Mistriss Forsaken I forgive you and know I am no Spirit and though I cannot say I live because I am dying yet I am not dead and that Letter I brought you was to disguise me the more by a false report but I have acted the design of my Travel which was to end my life with yours for since I could not enjoy you in life I desir'd to imbrace you by Death and so I shall She flings her arms over him and dyes Inconstant O my Soul make haste and follow hers He kisses her and on her lips dyes FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES Monsieur Nobilissimo Monsieur Esperance Monsieur Phantasie Monsieur Poverty Monsieur Adviser and several other Gentlemen Admiration Madamoiselle La Belles Wooers Vainglory Madamoiselle La Belles Wooers Pride Madamoiselle La Belles Wooers Ambition Madamoiselle La Belles Wooers Madamoiselle Esperance Wife to Monsieur Esperance Madamoiselle La Belle Madamoiselle Amour Madamoiselle Grand Esprit Madamoiselle Bon Madamoiselle Tell-truth Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Detractor Madamoiselle Malicious THE FIRST PART OF NATURES three DAUGHTERS Beauty Love and Wit ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Madamoiselle Detractor Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Malicious and Madamoiselle Tell-truth TEll-truth The Lady Natures Daughters are the only Ladies that are admired praised adored worshiped and sued to all other women are despised Spightfull We may go into a Nunnery for we shall never get Servants nor Husbands as long as they live Tell-truth Why there are but three of them and three women cannot serve and content all the men in the VVorld Detractor No but they may discontent all the men so much as to make them all to be Male-contented Lovers who will reject all because they cannot have what they desire Malicious Let us make a Faction against them Spightfull Alas what Faction against them can hurt and destroy Love Wit and Beauty Detractor Jealousy will weaken Love Dispraise will disgrace Wit and Beauty Time will soon bring that to decay Tell-truth But Jealousy cannot weaken true and virtuous Love nor Dispraise cannot disgrace pure Wit nor Time cannot decay the Beauty of the mind wherefore all the faction you can make against them will do them no hurt besides you will be condemned by all the Masculine Sex if not punished with infamy for your treachery and since you cannot do them harm your best way will be to imitate them for your own good Spightfull So we shall be laughed at and stared on as Monkies and scorned forasmuch as we offer at that which is beyond our abilities and whatsoever is forced and constrained appeareth ridiculous Malicious Come let us leave speaking of them and thinking of them if we can Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MOnsieur Esperance Surely Wife you do not love me you are not any way kind to me Madamoiselle Esperance True Love Husband is not so fond as serviceable Monsieur Esperance But true Love will express it self sometimes for if you did truly Love me you would hang about my Neck as if you meant to dwell there Madamoiselle Esperance If I thought my kindness might not
Heaven is not made known to all neither can the gloryes be suddenly comprehended by weak Mortals Detractor Good Lord if she hath such an infinite Beauty that it cannot be comprehended it is obscure Phantasie But those that comprehend least will be astonish'd and struck with deep amaze Detractor I believe you are struck with Love which makes you Blind or Mad that makes you think you see your own imaginations wherefore fare you well untill you are sober The Ladies goe out Monsieur Phantasie alone Phantasie I am struck indeed for I am wonded deeper than Swords can pierce or Bullets shoot at Exit Scene 11. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and many Gentlemen with him 1 GEntleman Your Lordship rid to day beyond Perseus on his Pegasus Nobilissimo No Monsieur he went if Poets speak truth in higher Capreols than ever I shall make my Horse go 2 Gentleman He might go higher my Lord but never keep so just a time and place as to pitch from whence he riss his feet in the same Circle his leggs in the same lines and your Lordship in the same Center Nobilissimo The truth is my Horses went well to day they were like Musical Instruments fitly strung and justly tun'd 3 Gentleman And your Lordship like a skillfull Musician played rarely thereon Nobilissimo Come Gentlemen let us to Dinner for I have uncivilly tyred your Stomacks with a long fast Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 12. Enter Monsieur Phantasie as in a muse sometimes Sighing sometimes strikes his Brest and sometimes turns up his Eyes and at these postures Enters Madamoiselle Bon at her approach he starts MAdamoiselle Bon. Sir you may very well start to see me here I do not use modesty pardon me to be so bold to visit Men it is the first visit I ever made your Sex and hope it will be the last but I am come since neither Letter nor Messenger could have access to be resolved by your own Confession whether you have forsaken me or not Phantasie No I have not forsaken you Bon. But your affection prefers another before me Phantasie If I should say I did not I should belly Truth which baseness I abhor Bon. I am glad for your own sake you keep so much Honour though sorry that you are no constanter and more sorry for the Oaths you took and Vows you made to me since they became the witnesses of your perjury I was not suddenly nor easily brought to draw a Supreme Love to one for before such time my Love was placed on you my affections run equally in purling Brooks of Pitty and Compassion and clear fresh Rivulets of Charity and Humanity from the pure Springs of good Nature and Religion and hard it will be for me to turn this River to each stream again if not yet I shall be a rest 't will overflow my heart and drown me The Lady goes out Monsieur Phantasie alone Monsieur Phantasie Oh I must curse my Fortune and my Fate lament my own condition to love without return and only pitty what I loved most Exit Scene 13. Enter Madamoiselle Grand Esprit and her Audience GRand Esprit Great Mercury to thee I now address Imploy thy favour help me in distress Thou God of Eloquence so guide my tongue Let all my words on even sense be slrung And let my Speech be tun'd to every Ear That every Ear each several word may hear That every passion may in measure move And let the figure of the Dance be Love Noble and Right Honourable I will discourse at this time of Love not of the superfluous Branches or wither'd leaves or rotten fruits but of the Root of Love which is Self-love It is the Root and Original Love in Nature it is the Foundation of Nature it is the Fountain from whence issues all the several Springs self-Self-love was the cause of the Worlds Creation for the Gods out of love to themselves caused Creatures to be Created to worship them thus all Creatures being created out of self-self-love and their chief being proceeding out of self-self-love is the cause that every particular Creature loves themselves in the first place and what Love is placed on any other or to any other from any particular is derived from self-self-love for we love the Gods but out of self-self-love as believing the Gods love us we adore the Gods but out of self-love because we think we proceed from them or were produced by their commands we pray to the Gods but out of self-self-love because we hope the Gods will help us in distress we bless the Gods but out of self-self-love because we do verrily believe the Gods will exalt and Crown us with everlasting glory and to shew that we Love the Gods not as they are Gods but for our own sakes as believing they will or can do us good is that we are apt to murmure at the Gods when we have not our own desires we are apt to accuse the Gods when any wordly thing crosses us we are apt to curse the Gods at ill Accidents Misfortunes or Natural losses we are apt to forget the Gods in the midst of pleasure we are apt to think our selves Gods in the pride of prosperity we strive to make our selves Gods in the hight of worldly power and we do not only strive to make our selves equal with the Gods but to raise our selves above the Gods taking or commanding to our selves more worship than we give unto the Gods nay those that are accounted the most holy and devout Servants of the Gods belie the Gods taking the name of the Gods to cover their own follies as for example whensoever any eminent person hath had ill success either in or after their Foolish Ambitious and Vain-glorious actions they charge the Gods Decrees and pleasure as it was the Gods will it should be so like as she that Vaingloriously had her two and only Sons to draw her Chariot like two Horses or Dogs or Slaves and being both found Dead the next day she had prayed to the Gods to reward them with that which was best for them and being both dead she said the Gods accounted Death as the best reward when they no doubt dyed with over heating themselves striving beyond their natural power and strength yet these two Sonns that drew the vain Mother in a Chariot drew and died out of self-love either like as vain Sonns like their vain Mother vaingloriously to get a fame or believing the Gods would reward them for their Act either with extraordinary prosperity power or blessedness in the Life to come and many the like examples may be given for how ordinary is it in these our times and in former times for the politicks to perswade the people with promises from the Gods or to tell them it is the Gods commands they should do such and such acts even such acts as are unnatural wicked and most horrid thus Men bely the Gods to abuse their fellow Creatures But most Noble and Right Honourable my explanation of
this discourse is that since Self-love is the Fountain of and in Nature from whence issue out several Springs to every several Creature wherein Mankind being her chiefest and Supreme work is filled with the fullest Springs from that Fountain which is the cause that Mankind is more industrious cruel and unsatiable to and for his self ends than any other Creature he spares nothing that he hath power to destroy if he fears any hurt or hopes for any gain or finds any pleasure or can make any sport or to imploy his idle time he melts metalls distills and dissolves plants dissects animals substracts and extracts Elements he digs up the bowels of the Earth cuts through the Ocean of the Sea gathers the winds into Sails fresh waters into Mills and imprisons the thinner Ayre he Hunts he Fowls he Fishes for sport with Gunns Nets and Hooks he cruelly causeth one Creature to destroy another the whilst he looks on with delight he kills not only for to live but lives for to kill and takes pleasure in torturing the life of other Creatures in prolonging their pains and lengthning their Deaths and when Man makes friendship of Love it is for his own sake either in humouring his passion or feeding his humour or to strengthen his party or for Trust or Counsel or Company or the like causes if he dies for his friend it is either for fame or that he cannot live himself happy without his friend his passion and grief making him restless if Man loves his Children Wife or Parents t is for his own sake he loves his Parents for the honour he receives by them or for the life he received of them if he loves his Wife or the Wife the Husband it is for their own sakes as their own pleasure as either for their Beauties Wits Humours or other Graces or for their Company or Friendships or because they think they love them if they love their Children it is for their own sakes as to keep alive their memory and to have their duty and obedience to bow and do homage to them If Masters love their Servants it is for their own sakes because they are trusty faithfull and industrious in their affairs imployments or for their own profit or ease and if Servants love their Masters it is for their own sakes as either for their power to protect them or for the regard they have to them or for the gain they get from them or for their lives that are nourished and maintained by them if Amorous Lovers love it is for their own sakes as to please the Appetite and to satisfy their desires if Subjects love their Soveraigns it is for their own sakes as that they may have Law and Justice Peace and Unity If Sovereigns love their Subjects it is for their own sakes because they bear up his Throne with their Wealth and Industry and fight to maintain or get him power My Application most Noble and Right Honourable is that since we do all and in every act for our own sakes we should indeavour and study for that which is best for our selves and the ground of our indeavour is to learn and know our selves every particular person must learn and know himself not by comparative as observing others for every man is not alike but by self study reading our own Natures and Dispositions marking our own Passions mours and Appetites with the Pen of Thought and Ink of Examination and let the Truth be the Tutor to instruct you in the School of Reason in which you may Commence Master of Art and go out Doctor of Judgment to practise Temperance for Temperance keeps in its full strength prolongs Beauty quickens Wit ripens Youth refreshes Age restores Decayes keeps Health maintains Life and hinders Times ruines but Temperance is not only a Doctor of Physick a Physician to the Body but a Doctor of Divinity a Divine for the Soul It preaches and teaches good Life it instructs with the Doctrine of Tranquillity and guides to the Heaven of Happiness also Temperance is the Doctor of Musick it tunes the Senses composes the Thoughts it notes the Passions it measures the Appetites and playes a Harmonious Mind Thus Most Noble and Right Honourable I have proved that Self-love is the Fountain of Nature and the Original Springs of her Creatures and that Temperance is the strongest Foundation of Self-love although few build thereupon but upon Intemperance which is a huge Bulk of Excess the substance of Riot worm eaten with Surfers rotten with Pain and sinks down to death with Sickness and Grief not being able to bear and uphold Life wherefore build your Lives upon Temperance which is a strong and sure Foundation which will never fail but will uphold your Lives as long as Time and Nature permits them and your Souls will dwell peaceably and happily therein Exeunt ACT V. Scene 14. Enter Madamoiselle Amor alone as musing to her self alone then speaks MAdamoiselle Amor I will confess to him my Love since my designs are Noble but O for a woman to woo a man is against Nature and seems too bold nay impudent only by a contrary custome but why should not a woman confess she loves before she is wooed when after a seeming coyness gives consent as being won more by a Treaty than by Love when her obscure thoughts know well her heart was his at first bound as his prisoner and only counterfeits a freedome besides it were unjust although an antient custome if dissembling should be preferred before a Modern Truth for length of Time and often practices makes not Falshood Truth nor Wrong Right nor Evill Good then I will break down Customs Walls and honest Truth shall lead me on Love plead my Sute and if I be deny'd My heart will break and Death my Face will hide Exit Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MOnsieur Esperance Wife whither do you go when I come near you you always turn to go from me Madamoiselle Esperance I saw you not for I had rather be fixt as a Statue than move to your dislike Monsieur Esperance Why do you blush surely you are guilty of some crime Madamoiselle Esperance 'T is said blushing comes unsent for and departs without leave and that it oftner visits Innocency than guilt Madamoiselle Esperance weeps Monsieur Esperance What do you weep Madamoiselle Esperance How can I otherwise choose when my Innocent Life and True Love is suspected and all my pure affections are cast away like dross and the best of all my actions condemn'd as Traytors and my unspotted Chastity blemish'd with soul Jealousy and defamed with slandering words Monsieur Esperance Prethy Wife do not weep for every tear wounds me to Death and know it is my extreme Love which creates my fears but you might have had a Husband with more faults Madamoiselle Esperance 'T is true but not so many noble qualities as you have which makes
me weep doubting you Love me not you are so Jealous Monsieur Esperance By Heaven I love thee beyond my Soul wherefore forbear to weep if thou canst stop thy tears Madamoiselle Esperance Tears may be stopt unless they flow from an unrecoverable loss which Heaven forbid mine should yet sorrow oft doth stop the Spring from whence tears rise or else the Eyes do weep themselves quite blind Monsieur Esperance Pray dry yours Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Madamoiselle Bon alone MAdamoiselle Bon. O Man O Man How various and Inconstant are you all how cruell to betray our faint and unexperienced Sex bribing our Judgments with flattering words obscure our reasons with Clouds of Sighs drawing us into belief with protestations bind us with promises and vows forcing us to yield up our affections then murther us with scorn and bury us in forgetfullness but O how happy was I before I was betrayed by Love my heart was free my thoughts were pleasant and my humour gay but now my mind is a Garrison of cares my thoughts like runaways are wanderers Grief on my heart his heavy taxes layes Which through my Eyes my heart those taxes payes Exit Scene 17. Enter Madamoiselle Amor and at a distance seeth Monsieur Nobilissimo she speaks first as to her self MAdamoiselle Amor Love and Discretion sight duels in my mind one makes me Mute the other doth perswade me to prefer my Sute but why should I be nice to speak or be ashamed to woo with words when all our Sex doth woo with several dresses and smiles each civil courtesy doth plead Loves Sute then I will on Love give me Courage and Mercury guide my tongue She goeth as towards the Lord Nobilissimo Amor Noble Sir impute it rather as a folly to my Sex and Youth and not any impudence of Nature if that my Innocency discovers my passion and affection not having Craft or subtilty to conceal them but I must plainly tell you no sooner did I see you and hear you speak but loved but yet mistake me not I dote not on your person but your mind for sure your Noble Soul shot fire through my Eyes into my Heart there flames with pure affection but for this confession perchance you will set me as a mark of scorn for all to shoot their scofs at and in derision pointing will laugh and say there is the Maid that wooed a Man Nobilissimo Is this to me Lady Amor It cannot be to any other Nature could make but one and that was you Nobilissimo If this be real you do profess the Gods should they have sent an Angel down to offer me their Heavenly Mansion it had not been so great a gift as your affection Amor Do you not hate me then Nobilissimo Nothing I Love so well Amor And will you Love me ever Nobilissimo Yes ever for when my Body is dissolved Love shall live in my dust in spight of Death Amor And will you love none but me Nobilissimo An intire and undivided affection can be placed but upon one and that is you Amor May your constancy be as firm as my Love pure Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Madamoiselle La Belle and her four Suters Admiration Ambition Vainglory and Pride ADmirat Dear Mistriss stay that I may gaze upon you Then bow my knee as to the rising Sun Heave up my hands as when to Heaven I pray But being amaz'd know not one word I say Yet superstitiously I shall adore As my chief Goddess shall thy love implore And being worship'd you are deifi'd Your Godhead in your Beauty doth recide Vainglory Thou absolute Beauty for thy dear sake Of Lovers hearts a foot-stool shall be made A Cushion soft with Hopes fill'd full then laid For thee to stand and triumph on fair Maid And Lovers Souls shall from their bodyes fly For thee a Couch when weary on to ly Pride Thy Lovers tears for to invite thy rest In murmuring streams fall on thy marble brest And gentle sighs like whispering winds shall blow And fan thy Cheeks that Poets fire may glow Loves Melancholy thoughts like Clouds of night Like as thy Curtains drawn before thy sight For fear the Sun should trouble out of spight Thy Eyes repose being the greater light Ambition Sweet Beauty thou in a glorious Throne shall set The spangled Heaven seems but thy Counterfeit Thy Charriot shall be stuck with Eyes all gazing And oyld with Eloquent tongues that runs with praysing Drawn by large strong well shapt Commendations Guided by Fame about two several Nations La Belle Admiration Vainglory Pride and Ambition Why do you woo Beauty that is Deaf and Dumb That hears no praise nor adoration It seeth no hands heav'd up nor tears that fall It hath no tongue to answer Love withall It hath no Life no Soul where passion lies It neither gives nor takes instructions wise It is no solid Body you admire No substance but a shadow you desire FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES Monsieur Nobilissimo Monsieur Heroick his Brother Monsieur Esperance Monsieur Phantasie Monsieur Amy. Monsieur Poverty and other Gentlemen Madamoiselle Esperance Madamoiselle La Belle Madamoiselle Amour Madamoiselle Grand Esprit Madamoiselle Bon Madamoiselle Tell-truth Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Malicious Madamoiselle Detractor THE SECOND PART OF NATURES three DAUGHTERS Beauty Love and Wit ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Madamoiselle Grand Esprit and her Audience GRand Esprit Great Fame my Prayers I direct to thee That thou wilt keep me in thy memory And place my Name in the large brazen Tower That neither Spight nor Time may it devour And write it plain that every age may see My Names inscrib'd to live eternally Let not Malice obstruct my Wit with spight But let it shine in its own clear light Noble and Right Honourable I divide my discourse into three parts as namely Vanity Vice and Wickedness Vanity lives in the Customs and Manners of men and Wickedness in the Souls of men Vices in the Senses of men as vain habits evill appetites and wicked passions as for Vanity and Vice they are commodities that are sold out of the Shops of Idleness Vice is sold by wholesale but Vanities are sold by retail the Buyers of these Commodities are Youth the Merchants are evil Customs and ill examples the Masculine youth buyes more Vice than Vanity and the Effeminate youth buyes more Vanity than Vice but they all buy as salt as they can be sold they will spare for not cost and will give any prices although it be their Healths Lives Fortunes or Reputations as for Wickedness it is inlayed into the soul like as Mosaick work and so close it is wrought therein as it makes it appear to be the soul it self but evill Education and Custome are the Artificers of this work and not natural Creation or divine infusion or inspiration from whence the Soul proceeds or is produced for neither the Gods nor Nature is the Author of Wickedness but Vanity Vice and
so restless as it gives no time for content Spightfull The truth is content only lives in words but never lives in deeds for I never heard or saw any one truly content in my life Tell-truth The truth is Content is like the Shadow of a Substance or the Thought of an Act and therefore let us leave it as we would idle or vain Thoughts or vading or vanishing Shadows Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Monsieur Heroick and Monsieur Phantasie PHantasie Sir it is reported you are a Servant to my Mistriss Heroick I am a Servant to the whole Effeminate Sex and to her if she be a woman Phantasie Yes she is a woman and the fairest of her kind Heroick Why then I am her Slave Phantasie I desire you will inslave your self to some other and not to her Heroick You must pardon me if she be the fairest for I am bound to the absolutest Beauty Phantasie Draw Heroick Nay I am not so rash for by your favour I will view her with mine own Eyes and take the opinion of my own Judgment and not venture my life on your bare word Phantasie I say draw Heroick I shall but know I only fight in mine own defence not for her Beauty unless I saw her and approved her such as you affirm her to be for though I am Servant to all yet t is impossible all should be an absolute Beauty Phantasie Know I account all those my Enemyes that question it besides you give me the lye in doubting the truth Heroick I perceive it is your violent passion that perswades you or rather forces you to fight and not your Reason and if your passion were to be counselled I would counsel you to stay untill we choose our Seconds to witness how we fought not in a furious rage but when our spirits are fresh and cool our Minds as equal temper'd as our Blades and that our valours are not ashamed to own the quarrel so shall we sight on just and honest grounds and honour will be the purchase we shall gain Phantasie He hear no more but fight Heroick Nature I ask thy pardon I must ingage thee to a furious rage of sudden fit or frantick humour which are for thee to scorn and flight and not to fight Exeunt Scene 7. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and Monsieur Poverty NObilissimo Monsieur Poverty shall I never have the honour of your Company Poverty My Poverty will disgrace you my Noble Lord Nobilissimo I were no noble Lord if virtuous Poverty could disgrace me Poverty Howsoever your Servants Friends and Acquaintance will forsake you if I should wait upon your Lordship Nobilissimo They may be my Acquaintance but neither my Friends nor Servants that will forsake me for the sake of virtuous Poverty for though I would not have thee intail'd to my line and posterity nor to live constantly in my family yet I am neither ashamed nor afraid to shake thee by the hand as long as thou art an honest man and I desire to take Plenty in own hand but to serve Poverty with both hands Poverty May Plenty be always your Lordships Hand-Maid Nobilissimo And your Reliever Sir Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Madamoiselle Amor and her Sister Madamoiselle La Belle MAdamoiselle La Belle Sister be not jealous of me for I have no design to rob you of your Servant I study not those Amorous allurements for I would not be otherwise known unto the Masculine Sex than Angels are to one another yet I may respect honour and admire without a doteing fondness or a surprized affection or an incaptivated love Madamoiselle Amor Yes Sister when I consider your Virtue I cannot be Jealous of you but when I look on your Beauty I cannot be Confident of my Servant for Beauty is victorious and most commonly triumphs in all hearts binding the Passions and leading the Affections as Prisoners and the Thoughts run a-long as Slaves and Constancy if it be not kill'd in the Battell yet it is sore wounded and if it should recover yet never to the former strength again Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo Madamoiselle La Belle My Lord what say you hath your Mistriss my Sister Amor any reason to be Jealous Nobilissimo Yes if my Mistriss were any other but her self Madamoiselle I thank you for I had rather be kill'd with civill although dissembling words than live with rude Inconstancy Nobilissimo Why do you think I speak not truth Madamoiselle Amor I hope your words are marks of truth for all belief to shoot at Nobilissimo But Hopes are built on Doubts and Fears and do you Doubt and Fear my Love Madamoiselle Amor How can I love without attending Fear being inseparable Nobilissimo Pray do not fear for though there is none that seeth your Sister La Belle but must confess she is most beautifull yet all fancy not Beauty alike but were she above what she is as much as Heaven to Earth or Gods to Men yet I am fixt and not to be remov'd no more than is Eternity Exeunt ACT III Scene 9. Enter Madamoiselle Esperance very fine and her Cousin Madamoiselle Tell-truth MAdamoiselle Esperance Am not I very fine to day Tell-truth Yes very fine Madamoiselle Esperance Do I look handsome to Day Tell-truth Yes very handsome Madamoiselle Esperance If I were a Stranger should I attract your Eyes to take notice of me Tell-truth As you are my Cousin and intimate Friend and known acquaintance and see you every day yet I cannot choose but look on you and take notice of your rich Garments but why do you ask for you do not use to make such questions Madamoiselle Esperance I will tell you when I was new Married my Husband took so much notice of my Dress that the least alteration he observed nay he grew jealous at it and thought each curl a snare set to catch Lovers in after I had been Married some little space of time he condemned me for carelessness and desired me to various dresses and now drest or undrest he never observes for were I drest with splendrous light as glorious as the Sun or Clouded like dark Night it were all one to him neither would strike his Sense yet I observe he doth observe my Maids as that one hath a fine Pettycoat and another hath handsome made Shooes and then he pulls up their Pettycoats a little way to see what stockings they have and so views them all over and commends them saying they are very fine when all these Garments he commends on them were mine which I had cast off and given to them when those Garments though fresh and new when I did wear them he never took notice of besides when my Maids do come into the Room where he and I are he strives to talk his best as if he wisht and did indeavour their good opinion when only alone with me the rubbish of his discourse doth serve the turn Tell-truth Madam I perceive you do begin to be Jealous
with what they send forth for Eyes are not only passages to let Light Coulours Forms and Figures in but to let Passions Affections Opinions out besides the Eyes are not only as Navigable Seas for the Animal Spirits to Traffick on and Ports to Anchor in but they are the Gardens of the Soul wherein the Soul sits and refreshes it self and Love the Sun of the Soul sends forth more glorious Rayes than that Sun in the Sky and on those objects they do shine they both comfort and give a nourishing delight but yet when the light of love doth reflect the heat doth increase by double lines and quickness of motion which causes many times a Distemper of the Thoughts which turns to a Feavor in the Mind but to conclude most Noble and Right Honourable Eyes are the Starrs which appear only in the Animal Globe to direct the life in its Voyage not only to places that life knows but to new discoveryes and these Animal Starrs do not only guide the Animal life but have an influence and various effects on the Soul and are not only to view the Beauties of all the other works of Nature but are the chiefest Beauties themselves and if that Reason that is the Educator of the Life and chief Ruler and Commander of the Soul did not cross and hinder the influence of these Animal Starrs they would prove very fatal to many a one Wherefore Right Honourable my Application is that you obey Reason and pray unto it as to a Deity that it may divert the Malignant influences and cause them to point to a Happy Effect For which my good wishes shall attend you That the Gods of these Starrs may defend you Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 14. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and Monsieur Heroick NObilissimo Brother I may bid you welcome home for I have not seen you these two years methinks between Brothers as you and I are should never be absence Heroick No faith Brother for we never have good fortune when we are asunder for since I patted I hear you are to be Marryed and I must tell you I am like to be Hanged Nobilissimo Heaven forbid you should be hanged Heroick And do not you make the same Prayer against your Marriage Nobilissimo No for that prayer would prove a Curse if Heaven should grant it but I hope Brother you speak of this but merrily and not as a truth to believed that you are like to be hanged Heroick Yes faith I met with a man that was resolv'd to fight with the next he met I think for he forced a quarrel and we fought and I fear I have killed him Nobilissimo What was the cause of the quarrel Heroick Why about a Beauty that none must admire but himself and yet they must maintain she is the absolutest Beauty of her Sex and such a Beauty I hear of every where but I cannot see her any where Nobilissimo Let me tell you Brother she is worth the seeing Heroick And is she worth the blood and life that is lost and spilt for her Nobilissimo Yes if it had been to maintain her Beauty against rude Despisers or her Virtue against base Detractors or her Honour against wicked Violators for her Soul hath as many beautifull graces and Virtues and her mind as many noble qualities as her body hath beautifull Parts Lineaments gracefull Motions pleasing Countenances lovely Behaviour and courteous Demeanors Heroick Certainly Brother you are very well acquainted with her that you know her so well as to speak so confident of her Nobilissimo Yes Brother I do know her very well for she is Sister to my Mistriss Heroick So I thought she had some relation to you that you spake so much in her praise this Self-love bribes all our Tongues but Brother you have so fired my Spirits as I am almost as mad as the Gentleman I fought with before I see her meerly with the report and since I must lose my Wits with the rest of Mankind for I find all are mad that come within the list of her Name pray let me part with my Wits on Honourable terms as at the view of her Beauty Nobilissimo I shall make it a request to her that you may see her and she being a person who is very obliging I make no question but she will receive your civil and humble respects Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MAdamoiselle Esperance Husband do you love me Monsieur Esperance Yes Madamoiselle Esperance Better than any other Woman Monsieur Esperance I can make no comparison Madamoiselle Esperance Why do you then neglect me so much as to take no notice whether I be fine and brave or ragged or patcht or ilfavoured or handsom and yet you take notice of every other woman from the stranger abroad to the Kitchin-Maid at home Monsieur Esperance By my troth Wife I do so just as I would do of a Tree or a Bush or a Stone or a Brake or a Fox or an Ass and no otherwise Madamoiselle Esperance Yet it is a sign you have them in your mind and I had rather be hated than forgotten wherefore pray let me be sometimes in your thoughts although as a Bryar and not to be flung out Root and Branch Monsieur Esperance Heaven forbid Wife you should become a Thorn in my Mind but thou art there as my Soul nor do I love you at a common rate for were thy person more deformed than ever Nature made either by Sickness or Casualty I still should love thee for thy Virtuous Soul and though your person is very handsom yet I consider not your Beauty but your Health so you be well I care not how you look for my love is at that height as it is beyond the body grown for should I only love you for your Beauty when that is decayed my love must of necessity dy if Beauty were the life Madamoiselle Esperance So then I am only your spiritual love and you will chuse a temporal one elsewhere Monsieur Esperance Prethee be not Jealous of me because I am become assured of your Chastity for know I could sooner hate my self than love or amorously affect any other woman but thy self and when I prove false to you may Iupiter cast me to Plutoes Court there to be tormented Eternally Madamoiselle Esperance Well pardon this fit of Jealousy for I shall never question your affection more nor doubt your Constancy Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Madamoiselle La Belle and her Sister Madamoiselle Amor MAdamoiselle La Belle To quarrel and fight for me is strange for as for the one I never saw and the other I have no acquaintance with but had I favoured the one or affronted the other or had favoured them both it might have raised a dispute from a dispute to a quarrel from a quarrel to a duell but many times men make a seeming love the occasion to shew their courage to get
to be a Souldier 2 Gent. Yes and he may chance to get a glorious Fame 1 Gent. But particular Fames are like particular Creatures some dye and decay sooner than others but few live to old Nestors years and some lye Bedrid and a great Company are decrepid and lame others are croked and deformed from their Birth and some by evill Fortune and many are Orphans and aboundance Bastards and Changlings and though War makes the lowdest noise in Fames Palace yet Wit for the most part lives the longest therein for Wit is such a delightfull Company and such pleasant pastime as old Father Time takes great care to preserve it lapping Wit warm in the Memory and feeding it often with Rehersals Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lady Examination and the Lady Solitary EXamination Come Come you will never get you a real Lover if you delight so much in Solitaries Solitary I desire none for real Lovers do oftentimes prove unconstant whereas feigned lovers are as constant as the Contemplator would have them and as many as they would have besides a crowd or multitude of thoughts may rise up in the brain and be as Spectators of one single thought which if the Contemplator pleases may be a Lover and the rest of the Spectators thoughts may censure of that single thought as of his good parts or bad his virtues or vices some may praise others dispraise and the like thus a Contemplator can never want Lovers Admirers Censurers nor any other Company since the Mind can present them with what thoughts they desire not only the thoughts of Men Women and Children but of any other Creatures that Nature hath made for why should not our Spirits or Soul delight and content us without the real possession of outward Good as well as the Spirits or Soul doth torment us with a real Evill for why may not Opinion or Fancy as well and as much delight us as Opinion and Fancy affright us as they often do Examination But an over-studious Mind doth waste the Body for the Thoughts feeds as much upon the Body as the Body upon the meat we eat and the Body nourishes the Thoughts as much as meat nourishes the Body and for the most part as the Body is effected so is the Mind for a distempered Body makes a distempered Mind as a Luxurious Body makes an Amorous Mind and a Feavour in the Body makes the mind frantick for the heat of a Feavour is like Strong-water it makes the Spirits drunk the Thoughts dizie and the Mind sick Solitary Indeed the Body and the Mind do most commonly agree as in Monarchy the King and the Subjects do the Subjects obeying the King and the King commanding the Subjects yet sometimes the Subjects compel the King and sometimes the King forces the Subjects so sometimes the Appetite compels the Reason at other times the Reason forces the Appetite to a Moderation and sometimes the Humours of the Body which are like the senceless Commonalty and the Passions of the Soul which are as the Nobles oftentimes fall out where sometimes the Humours of the Body usurp with an uprore the Passions of the Soul and sometimes the Passions overcome the Humours by a wise policy but when as the Kingdome of Man is in Peace the Imaginations in the head send down thoughts as metal into the heart wherein they are melted and minted into current Coin each thought as each peece having a several stamp some is stamped with Hate some Spight others Malice some with Jealousy some Hope some with Fear some Pitty some Love but that of Love is of the highest vallew but these Coins serve for Commerce and Traffick in the Body from the Authority of the Mind or Soul whose stamp or Image each piece bears Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Sir William Admirer and the Lady Peaceable ADmirer Dear Mistriss how I love you Peaceable I wish I had Merits worthy your Affections Admirer You are all a man can wish in women kind for you are young fair virtuous witty and wise Peaceable Alas all youth hath more follies than years whereas those that are old have or ought to have more years than follies Admirer You might be thought old by your speech and actions by reason you speak so experienced and act with such prudence and discretion wherefore I should judge you were instructed by those that are old and knew much Peaceable Indeed my Educators were Aged and my Tutors like as Painters drew with the Pencil of the Tongue and the Colours of Sense and the white of Truth on the Platform of my Brain many figurate discourses for the Understanding to view but my Understanding hath weak Eyes Admirer Your Understanding neither wants sight nor light but the Lady Faction wants both or else she had not been so uncivil to you as she was when I was with you last were not you very Cholerick with her Peaceable I am of too Melancholy a Nature to be very Cholerick Admirer Why are those that are Melancholy never Cholerick Peaceable I cannot say never but yet very seldome by reason they want that heat which makes Choler for though the Spirits of Melancholy persons may be as quick as those that are Cholerick yet they are not so fiery for there is as much difference betwixt Melancholy and Choler as freesing and burning the one contracts into a sad silence the other expulses in blows and many extravagant actions and angry words but those persons which are seldome angry as all Melancholy persons are who are of a patient peaceable Nature yet when they are angry are very angry to those persons that are naturally Melancholy that are seldome seen to be merry or to laugh yet when they are merry their mirth is ridiculous and they will laugh extremely as at nothing or at any thing so those that are naturally Contemplative when they do speak they speak beyond all sense and reason their speech flows like as a Torrent rough and forceable thus we may perceive that extremes one way run into extremes another way Admirer I can truly witness that you are not apt to be angry or at least not to appear angry for I did wonder at your humble behaviour civil answers patient demeanors towards the Lady Faction Peaceable I may suffer an injury patiently when I cannot avoid it but I will never injure my self in doing such actions or speaking such words as are unbefitting unworthy and base Exeunt ACT V. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Solitary her Governess a Grave Matron and a Gentleman as coming a Iourney MAtron Pray Charge thank this Gentleman for his gifts and favours to me Solitary Governess let me tell you that they do themselves a courtesy or favour that do a courtesy or favour to another and therefore there needs no thanks Gentleman But Lady you ought to thank me for coming out of my way so far as I have done to see you Solitary No truly for if you came out of your way to see me
if it were for affection it is a duty to Love if for gratitude it 't is a duty to Obligation if for civility it 't is a duty to Honour if for Charity it 't is a duty to Heaven and where a duty is due the owner receives but his own when 't is paid wherefore it were a vain and extravagant civility like unto madness to give thanks for what is justly their own Gentleman I do confess Lady I am yours and therefore whatsoever I do the best of my actions is due to you and I repent for saying you ought to thank me for comming out of my way to see you and I crave your pardon for my error and ask forgiveness for my fault Solitary I will forgive you so I may be rid of you for I love not Company but Solitariness Exeunt Scene 18. Enter the Lady Gadder the Lady Kindeling and the Lady Bridlehead BRidlehead Sir William Admirer is like Argus stuck full of Eyes but Sir William's are the Eyes of fair Ladyes that gaze upon him Gadder The truth is when he is in the Company of our Sex all the women gaze on him Kindeling They may look if they please and admire him but I can assure them he loves and admires but one which is the Lady Peaceable Gadder Why is he in love with the Lady Peaceable Kindeling So much as he is to be married to her within two or three dayes Gadder I thought he had loved the Lady Faction Kindling No no for he denies that ever he had any Matrimonial love for her Bridlehead Will they make a publick wedding Kindeling No 't is said the wedding will be kept private Exeunt Scene 19. Enter the Lady Censurer the Lady Examination and the Lady Solitary EXamination Where have you been Lady Censurer Censurer Faith at Court amongst a Company of Ladyes and their Gallants Examination And what was their pastime Censurer Why Singing Dancing Laughing and Jesting but I have earned an Angel amongst them Examination How prethee Censurer Although not by the sweat of my brows yet by the expence of my Spirits Examination Prethee tell Censurer Why the Court Ladyes in a scornfull jesting for Courtiers love to put persons out of Countenance if they can prayed me to sing an old Song out of a new Ballad as knowing my voice fit for no better Songs but I told them that if I did sing they should pay me for my pains for there was never a blind Beggar or poor young Wench that sings at a door but had somthing given them they told me they would give me a penny I answered that when they sung to Gentlemen or Ladyes guts that they had a shilling at least given them and unless they would give me twelve pence apiece I would not sing so they out of a laughing sport borrowed a Crown of the Gentlemen to give me Solitary Oh that 's the Court fashion for the women to borrow of the men Censurer How should they live if they did not so for in my Conscience they could not have made up twelve pence amongst a douzen of them not in money for their Clothes though costly and rich yet are worn upon trust but as I said I was to sing them a Song for my money so I sung them an old Song the burden of the Song Oh women women monstrous women what do you mean for to do but because the Song was against women they would have had me given them their money back again I told them no I would not for it was lawfull gain for me to keep it since I gained it by an honest industry and that those that made a bargain must stick to it then they told me that if I would sing them a good old Song they would give me another Crown I told them I would have the money in hand for fear they should dislike my Song when I had sung it or at least to seem to dislike it to save their money so although they were loth yet at last they borrowed another Crown to give me thinking it did disgrace me in that my voyce was fit for nothing but old Ballads for all their Admirers and Courtly Servants or Servants for Courtship were with them so then I sung them Doctor Faustus that gave his Soul away to the Devill for I knew Conjurers and Devills pleased women best Examination They fright women Censurer By your favour all Conjurers gain more by womens coming to them to know their Fortunes and for to find out losses than they do by men for where one man goeth to a Conjurer or Fortune-teller their goeth a hundred women but as I have told you I sung the Song of Doctor Faustus Solitary For my part I had rather hear a plain old Song than any Italian or French Love Songs stuff'd with Trilloes Censurer That 's strange when as in those Harmonious Songs the wisest Poets and skillfull'st Musicians are joyned to make up one Song and the most excellent voices are chosen to sing them Solitary I know not but I am sooner weary to hear a famous and Artificial Singer sing than they are themselves with singing for I hate their Quavers demy and semy Quavers their Minnums Crochets and the like Examination The truth is I have observed that when an old Ballad is plainly sung most hearers will lissen with more delight than to Italian and French Singers although they sing with art and skill Solit. The most famous singer in these latter times I have heard in France it was a woman and an Italian sent for into France where she was presented with very rich gifts for her rare singing yet I durst a-laid my life for a wager that there were more that could have taken more delight to hear an old Ballad sung which Ballads are true stories put into verses and set to a Tune than in all there Italian and French Love whining Songs and languishing tunes Examination Well but what will you do with your gettings Censurer Faith I will go home and consider and the next time I will tell you how I will imploy my ten shillings Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. What makes you Booted and Spurred are you going out of the town 2 Gent. Yes faith I am going to a wedding Swich and Spur 1 Gent. What art thou going to be married 2 Gent. No I am not so hasty for though I can spur to another mans wedding I cannot be spurred to my own 1 Gent. Whose wedding are you riding to 2 Gent. To Sir William Admirers and the Lady Peaceable 1 Gent. Faith their names and marriage do disagree for never did Husband after the first Month Admire his VVife nor a VVife after two Months live Peaceably Exeunt Scene 21. Enter the Lady Solitary the Lady Examination and the Lady Censurer EXamination How have you imployed the ten shillings got by singing Censurer I must tell you I have been extremely troubled how to imploy it insomuch as my Mind hath never been
love Solitariness and there will be too much Company Censurer There may be a great resort but their Conversation is by single Couples Examination You are a wag Lady Censurer Exeunt Scene 22. Enter four Gentlemen 1 GEnt. If I were to chuse a Wife I would chuse the Lady Solitary 2 Gent. Why 1 Gent. Because those that are Solitary love not much Company and being alone love not much noise and loving no noise love silence and loving silence love not to talk so as in having of her I shall have a Solitary Peaceable Quiet Silent Wife 3 Gent. And if I were to chuse I would chuse the Lady Censurer for she would let nothing pass her judgment for she will give her opinion of all things persons and actions so in having her to my Wife I should have a general Intelligencer or at least her opinion of all things 2 Gent. But if her Judgment were not good her opinion would be erroneous 3 Gent. I care not it would serve to pass an idle time with 4 Gent. And if I might chuse I would chuse the Lady Examination for a Wife 2 Gent. Why 4 Gent. Because she knows most humours and passages of every body and their affairs so by her I should be entertained with news from all places as of all actions done opinions held words spoke or thoughts thought 2 Gent. I would I could have my wish as easily as you might have your choice 1 Gent. What would you wish 2 Gent. I would wish to be unmarried for if I were I would never be troubled with a Wife again but let me advise you for I love to have married Companions that you three should go a woing to those three Ladyes they cannot nor will not deny your Sute being all three of you rich young and handsome All three We will take your Counsel Exeunt FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES The Lord General Seigneur Valeroso Monsieur la Hardy Monsieur Compagnion Monsieur Comerade Monsieur la Gravity Captain Ruffell Captain Whiffell and several other Gentlemen Doctor Educature Doctor Comfort Stewards Messengers and Servants Lady Victoria Madam Jantil Madam Passionate Madam Ruffell Madam Whiffell Doll Pacify Madam Passionates Maid Nell Careless Madam Jantils Maid other Servants and Heroickesses THE FIRST PART OF BELL IN CAMPO ACT I. Scene 1. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. You hear how this Kingdome of Reformation is prepaparing for War against the Kingdome of Faction 2 Gent. Yea for I hear the Kingdome of Faction resolves to War with this Kingdome of Reformation 1 Gent. 'T is true for there are great preparations of either side men are raised of all sorts and ages fit to bear Arms and of all degrees to command and obey and there is one of the gallantest and noblest persons in this Kingdome which is made General to command in chief for he is a man that is both valiant and well experienced in Wars temperate and just in Peace wise and politick in publick affairs carefull and prudent in his own Family and a most generous person 2 Gent. Indeed I have heard that he is a most excellent Souldier 1 Gent. He is so for he is not one that sets forth to the Wars with great resolutions and hopes and returns with maskerd fears and despairs neither is he like those that take more care and are more industrious to get gay Clothes and fine Feathers to flant in the Field and vapour in their march than to get usefull and necessary provision but before he will march he will have all things ready and proper for use as to fit himself with well-tempered Arms which are light to be worn yet musket proof for he means not to run away nor to yield his life upon easy terms unto his Enemy for he desires to Conquer and not vain-gloriously to shew his courage by a careless neglect or a vain carelessness also he chooses such Horses as are usefull in War such as have been made subject to the hand and heel that have been taught to Trot on the Hanches to change to Gallop to stop and such Horses as have spirit and strength yet quiet and sober Natures he regards more the goodness of the Horses than the Colours or marks and more the fitness of his Saddles than the Imbrodery also he takes more care that his Waggons should be easy to follow and light in their carriage than to have them painted and gilded and he takes greater care that his Tents should be made so as to be suddenly put up and as quickly pull'd down than for the setting and Imbrodering his Arms thereupon also he take more care to have usefull Servants than numerous Servants and as he is industrious and carefull for his particular affairs so he is for the general affairs 2 Gent. A good Souldier makes good preparations and a good General doth both for himself and Army and as the General hath showed himself a good Souldier by the preparations he had made to march so he hath showen himself a wise man by the settlement he hath made in what he hath to leave behind him for I hear he hath setled and ordered his House and Family 1 Gent. He hath so and he hath a fair young and virtuous Lady that he must leave behind him which cannot choose but trouble him 2 Gent. The wisest man that is cannot order or have all things to his own contentment Exeunt Scene 2. Enter the Lord General and the Lady Victoria his Wife GEneral My dear heart you know I am commanded to the Wars and had I not such Wife as you are I should have thought Fortune had done me a favour to imploy my life in Heroical Actions for the service of my Country or to give me a honourable Death but to leave you is such a Cross as my Nature sinks under but wheresoever you are there will be my life I shall only carry a Body which may sight but my Soul and all the powers thereof will remain with thee Lady Victoria Husband I shall take this expression of love but for feigning words if you leave me for 't is against Nature to part with that we love best unless it be for the beloveds preservation which cannot be mine for my life lives in yours and the comfort of that life in your Company Lord General I know you love me so well as you had rather part with my life than I should part from my honour Lady Victoria 'T is true my love perswades me so to do knowing fame is a double life as infamy is a double death nay I should perswade you to those actions were they never so dangerous were you unwilling thereunto or could they create a world of honour fully inhabited with praises but I would not willingly part with your life for an imaginary or supposed honour which dyes in the womb before it is Born thus I love you the best preferring the best of what is yours but I am but in the second place in your affections for you
new Changes for stale Acquaintance is as unpleasant as want of change and the only hopes I have to the end of my Sute is that I am a Stranger and unknown for women fancy men beyond what they are when unknown and prize them less than their merits deserve when they are acquainted Monsieur Comerade Well we will not stay but we will do our indeavour to get admittance Exeunt Scene 25. Enter Madam Passionate as very ill sitting in a Chair groaning Enter Madam Jantil as to see her MAdam Iantil. Madam how do you find your health Madam Passionate Very bad for I am very ill but I wonder at your Fortitude that you can bear such a Cross as the loss of your Husband so patiently Madam Iantil. O Madam I am like those that are in a Dropsie their face seems full and fat but their liver is consumed and though my sorrow appears not outwardly yet my heart is dead within me Madam Passionate But your young years is a Cordiall to restore it and a new love will make it as healthfull as ever it was Enter Doll Pacify the Lady Passionat's Maid with a Porrenger of Cawdle Doll Pacify Pray Madam eat somthing or otherwise you will kill your self with fasting for you have not eaten any thing since the beginning of your sorrow Lady Passionate O carry that Cawdle away carry it away for the very sight doth overcome my Stomack Doll Pacify Pray Madam eat but a little Lady Passionate I care not for it I cannot eat it nor will not eat it wherefore carry it away or I will go away Both the Ladies goe out Enter Nell Careless Madam Jantils Maid Nell Careless Prethee if thy Lady will not eat this Cawdle give it me for I have an Appetite to it but I wonder you will offer your Lady any thing to eat but rather you should give her somthing to drink for I have heard sorrow is dry but never heard it was hungry Doll Pacify You are mistaken for sorrow is sharp and bites upon the Stomack which causes an eager Appetite Nell Careless I am sure weeping eyes make a dry Throat She eats and talks between each spoonfull Doll Pacify But Melancholy Thoughts make a hungry Stomack but faith if thou wert a Widow by thy eating thou wouldst have another Husband quickly Nell Careless Do you think I would marry again Doll Pacify Heaven forbid that a young woman should live a Widow Nell Careless Why is it a sin for a young woman to live a Widow Doll Pacify I know not what it would be to you but it would be a case of Conscience to me if I were a Widow Nell Careless By thy nice Conscience thou seem'st to be a Puritan Doll Pacify VVell I can bring many proofs but were it not a sin it is a disgrace Nell Careless VVhere lies the disgrace Doll Pacify In the opinion of the VVorld for old Maids and musty VVidows are like the plague shun'd of by all men which affrights young women so much as by running from it they catch hold on whatsoever man they meet without consideration of what or whom they are by which many times they fall into poverty and great misery Nell Careless You teach a Doctrine that to escape one mischief they fall on another which is worse than the first wherefore it were better to live a musty VVidow as you call them than a miserable VVife besides a man cannot intimately love a VVidow because he will be a Cuckold as being made one by her dead Husband and so live in Adultry and so she live in sin her self by Cuckolding both her Husbands having had two Doll Pacify I believe if you were a VVidow you would be tempted to that sin Nell Careless Faith but I should not for should I commit that sin I should deserve the Hell of discontent Doll Pacify Faith you would marry if you were young and fair and rich Nell Careless Those you mention would keep me from marrying for if any would marry me for the love of youth and beauty they would never love me long because time ruins both soon and if any one should marry me meerly for my riches they would love my riches so well and so much as there would be no love left for me that brought it and if my Husband be taken Prisoner by my wealth I shall be made a Slave Doll Pacify No not if you be virtuous Nell Careless Faith there is not one in an Age that takes a wife meerly for virtue nor valews a wife any thing the more for being so for poor Virtue fits mourning unregarded and despised not any one will so much as cast an eye towards her but all shun her as you say they do old Maids or musty Widows Doll Pacify Although you plead excellently well for not marrying yet I make no question but you would willingly marry if there should come a young Gallant Nell Careless What 's that a Fool that spends all his wit and money on his Clothes or is it a gallant young man which is a man enriched with worth and merit Doll Pacify I mean a Gallant both for bravery and merit Nell Careless Nay they seldome go both together Doll Pacify Well I wish to Heaven that Hymen would give thee a Husband and then that Pluto would quietly take him away to see whether you would marry again O I long for that time Nell Careless Do not long too earnestly lest you should miscarry of your desires Enter Madam Passionate whereat Nell Careless hearing her come she runs away Madam Passionate VVho was it that run away Doll Pacify Nell Careless Madam Iantils Maid Madam Passionate O that I could contract a bargain for such an indifferent mind as her young Lady hath or that the pleasures of the VVorld could bury my grief Doll Pacify There is no way for that Madam but to please your self still with the present times gathering those fruits of life that are ripe and next to your reach not to indanger a fall by climing too high nor to stay for that which is green nor to let it hang whilst it is rotten with time nor to murmur for that which is blowen down by chance nor to curse the weather of accidents for blasting the blossoms nor the Birds and VVorms of Death which is sickness and pain for picking and eating the berries for nature allows them a part as well as you for there is nothing in the VVorld we can absolutely possess to our selves for Time Chance Fortune and Death hath a share in all things life hath the least Madam Passionate I think so for I am weary of mine The Lady goes out Enter a Man Man Mistriss Dorothy there are two or three Gentlemen that desire to speak with one of the VVidows Maids and you belong to one Doll Pacify VVell what is their business Man I know not but I suppose they will only declare that to your self She goeth out and enters again as meeting the
he should hate you as first to love you for your virtue and sweet disposition next for the honour dignity and Kingdome he hath got by his marring you for he hath no right to the Dukedome but by your Highness and by your Highness he is become an absolute Prince and injoyes a rich Kingdome Unfortunate Dutchess But he hath taken the power from me and strives to disposess of me of my right Woman He cannot the Kingdome will never suffer him for your title is so just as he can make no pretence to disposess your Highness from your Princely Throne Unfortunate Dutchess But I being his Wife he takes the power of a Husband and by that power the power of my Kingdome and those that have the power can frame their titles as they please none dare oppose them Woman The truth is Madam that might overcomes right Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Factions and divisions that are in this Kingdome will be a means to deliver it into the power of the Enemy 2 Gent. This Duke is young wild deboist and inconstant wherefore there is but little hopes it should be better governed 1 Gent. But the Dutchess who is the true owner of it is discreet wise and virtuous and having more years than he she might help to rule and order state affairs 2 Gent. But neither her discretion wisdome nor virtue hath power for marriage hath inthralled her for she is become her Husbands Slave who ought to be his Soveraign but he laughs and doth despise her because she is somewhat elder than himself 1 Gent. Heaven will revenge her wrongs Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Duke of Inconstancy and a Gentleman DUke Inconstancy Have you been with the Lady I sent you to Gentleman Yes Duke Inconstancy And doth she listen to Loves Sute Gentleman She seems well pleased to hear her Beauty praised but will not hear of Amorous imbracements as yet Duke Inconstancy But it is a good Omen when as a Lady will nimblingly bite at a bait of flattery but did you see her Husband Gentleman No Sir Duke Inconstancy Well you must go again and present her with a Letter and a present from me for Ladies must be plied though they deny yet most do yield upon a treaty they cannot long hold out loves fierce assaults Gentleman Indeed the Female Sex is tender and weak although they are delicate and sweet Duke Inconstancy They are false and oft betray themselves Exeunt Scene 4. Enter the Unfortunate Dutchess and her Woman then enters another as running in haste 1 WOman O Madam Madam news is come that the Enemy hath got into the heart of the Kingdome wherefore sweet Lady fly for they will possess themselves of this City soon Unfortunate Dutchess I will not fly for I cannot meet a worse Enemy than the Duke himself should worse than Mankind Conquer it but I wish my Sister were safe Woman The young Princess I hear is fled to the Dukes Brother Unfortunate Dutchess I am glad of it for he is discreetly temperate although his Brother is not Exeunt Scene 5. Enter the Duke of Inconstancy and a Gentleman GEntleman Sir what will your Highness do Duke Inconstancy I will go and oppose the Enemy Gentleman Alass Sir you have no forces to oppose them withall you may go to be destroyed but not to destroy wherefore you with your small forces had better fly than fight Duke Inconstancy Whither shall I go Gentleman To any Prince that will receive you into pay by which you may maintain your self and live with some respect and fame abroad though you have lost your Kingdome whereas if you stay you will lose your self and Kingdome too Duke Inconstancy Your Counsel I will take Gentleman But what will your Highness do with your Dutchess Duke Inconstancy Let her do what she will with her self I care not now for since her Kingdome is lost I have no use of her Gentleman Not as concerning the Kingdome Sir but yet she is your Highnesses Wife and as a Husband you ought to regard her Duke Inconstancy She will follow me for Wives stick so close to their Husbands as they cannot be shaken off Exeunt Scene 6. Enter the Creating Princess and her Woman VVOman Pray Madam do not marry so much below your self Creat Princess Why what matter whom I marry since I can create my Husband to Honour Woman But Madam that Honour will do him no good nor will it take off your disgrace for none will give your Husband if he be an inferiour person the Place and Respect that is due to Great Princes Titles Creat Princess No but he shall take Place and my Servants shall give him the Respect and Homage that is due to great Titles For I will make him a Prince and who dare call him any other but Prince Woman There is none will call him Prince unless your own Servants and none will give him Place that are above the degree of his Birth no nor he durst not take it of Gallant Noble Men for if he offers thereat they will beat him back and force him to give way and to be only a Prince in his own House and not abroad is no better than to be a Farmer nay a Cobler or a Tayler or any the like are Kings in their own Houses although they be but thatch'd if they have but a Servant subject or Subject Servant Creat Princess Well say what you will I will make him a Prince Exeunt Scene 7. Enter the Duke of Inconstancy and a Gentleman GEntleman Sir doth not your Highness hear that your Dutchess is gone with your Enemies into the Countrey Duke Yes and though I might curse my Enemies for dispossessing me of the Kingdom I injoyed yet I give them thanks for carrying my Wife away with them for now I have more room and liberty to Wooe and Court my Mistress Enter another Gentleman Gent. Sir the Lady Beauties Husband 's dead Duke So I perceive Fortune will be my Friend some waies although she is my Foe other waies for she will Crown me with Love although she uncrowns me with Power wherefore return presently back to my Mistriss and tell her that now her Husband is dead and my Wife gone into another Country We may marry Ex. 1. Gent. But your Highness cannot marry as long as the Dutchess is alive Duke I mean to be like the Great Turk have many VVives 1. Gent. VVhy the Great Turk hath but one chief VVife the rest are but as Concubines for only the Sons of that chief Queen shall be Successors to the Emperor unless she hath none neither can his other Children inherit unless he be Right and Lawfull Emperor So that unless your Highness had been Duke by Inheritance as an Inhereditary Duke no Children by any other Lady can be Inheritors nor indeed Princes unless they were begot on the Right Owner to that Title Duke VVell since I have no Power but only an empty Title I cannot
very thought doth almost make me mad especially when I remember the hopes I had to advance my Son by marriage but you shall go back to carry Letters that shall declare my anger and my command for my Sons repair unto me since I cannot return home as yet I le dispatch you strait Exeunt Scene 5. Enter the two Maids Joan and Kate KAte It is a very pleasing sight to see the new marryed Children I may say for so are they yet they behave themselves so gravely and so formally as if they were an Ancoret couple for there is no appearance of Childishness in their behaviour Ioan. But I wonder my Master and Lady will suffer them to bed together Kate My Master did perswade his Nephew to ly by himself but he would not be perswaded Ioan. Truly he is a very fine youth and she a very pretty young Lady I dare say she will make a very handsome woman Kate I believe she will and a virtuous woman and he a handsome and gallant man Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity So Wife by your perswasions to this marriage I have lost the love of my only Brother Lady And I am like to lose my only Child through the grief of the departure of her Husband for she looks so pale and is so weak with crying and fasting for she feeds only on grief and her tears quenches her droughth I think she will dy Sir Thomas Gravity It is your own fault for you would never be quiet nor let be at rest untill they were married Lady Would I and my Child had never seen your Nephew Sir Thomas Gravity All the hopes we have is that my Brother will be pacified with time Exeunt Scene 7. Enter the two Maids Joan and Kate KAte I never saw so much affectionate grief as at the parting of the young married couple Ioan. O passionate tears flow naturally from Childrens Eyes Kate When they were to part they did kiss weep and imbrace so close as their tears mixt together Ioan. They will weep as much for joy when they meet again as they do now for grief at parting Kate But absence and time doth waste Love Ioan. Absence doth rather put out the flame of Love than waste the Lamp but their Love was lighted so soon that if it be not put out it will last a long time Kate Nay faith the sooner it is lighted the sooner it will burn out but to make Love last long is sometimes to put it out and then to re-inkindle it for a continual fire doth waste the fuell and a Candle will soon burn out although it be lighted but at one end but absence is an extinguisher which saves it and return is relighting it Ioan. Are Lovers like Candles Kate Yes faith for as there are Candles of all sorts and sizes so there are Lovers of all degrees some are like Torch-light that flame high and bright but soon waste out others like watch Candles that give but a dim dull light but will last a long time and some that give but a little light and are strait burnt out Ioan. But what is á snast in a Candle which is like a blazing Star with a stream or tail that mels a Candle and makes it run out Kate Faith a snast is like a Mistriss as a Courtizan or servant that makes waste of Matrimonial Love it makes Matrimonial Love fall into a snuf but prudent discretion and chast kisses are as snuffers to clip of those snasts before they get power or are in a blaze or like a Bodkin that picks or puls them out with the point of a sharp tongue Ioan. By your similizing you make love Greace Kate You say right for there is nothing so apt to flame and melt as Greace and Love it is there natural properties to waste in flame Ioan. Well but let us not waste our time in idle talk but go about our imployments Kate Why talking is the greatest or most imployment women use but indeed love is idle Exeunt ACT II. Scene 8. Enter two Men 1 MAn My Lord is extremely troubled for the marriage of his Son 2 Man He is so and so very angry with his Son as he would not give him his blessing when he came although he hath not seen him in seven years for so long hath my Lord been Embassadour here 1 Man Sometimes Embassadours are many years imployed out of there own Country 2 Man They are so but my Lord is sent for home which I am very glad of 1 Man Doth his Son return home with him 2 Man No for he sends him to travel into several Countryes for as many years as my Lord hath been from his Country 1 Man Why doth he command him so long a time to Travel having no more Sons 2 Man To have him Travel out the remembrance of his Wife at least his affections to her 1 Man Why would not my Lord have his Son love his Wife now he is marryed 2 Man No for my Lord saith that the marriage is not a true marriage for the Lady is not of marrigable years and that is not untill the Female is past twelve 1 Man Why so 2 Man I know not but so it is according to our Canon and Common Laws Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity I hear my Brother hath sent his Son to Travel for seven years Lady Pray do not let my Daughter know it for it will kill her if she hears it Sir Thomas Gravity I hear also that he will endeavour to break the marriage Lady The Devill break his heart Sir Thomas Gravity Why do you say so Lady Have I not reason to say so when he endeavours to break my Childs heart and so my heart a dishonest man he is to offer to part man and wife Sir Thomas Gravity But if the marriage will not hold good in law they are not lawfull man and wife Lady I perceive you will take your Brothers part against me Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan NAn Mistriss I hear there is a Suter preparing to come a wooing to you Mistriss Odd-Humour What preparations doth he make Nan Why he hath been with your Father to treat with him concerning your Portion Mistriss Odd-Humour That is not a Suters preparation that is a Merchants Trafficking that is to make a bargain not to woo a Mistriss but the preparations of a Suter are fine Clothes Coaches and great Attendance with rich presents otherwise a woman is not wooed but a Husband bought Nan Or a Wife sold Mistriss Odd-Humour No the woman or her friends are the purchasers for Husbands never give any thing for a VVife but the woman or her friends pay down ready money for a Husband although they sell Land for it Portions portions undo a Family Nan Nan But for all that you had rather undo a Family than want a Husband Mistriss Odd-Humour Self-love
is prevalent Nan but what manner of man is this man that my Father is treating with is he handsome or rich or famous or honoured with title for I would not put my father to charges and not have a Husband worth my Portion Nan He is rich and a thriving man Mistriss Odd-Humour That is to say a rich miserable man and when I am marryed to him I shall be his poor miserable wife for he will not allow me any thing to spend hardly to eat Nan Then your Chair will be big enough for you Mistriss Odd-Humour Or I shall be little enough for my Chair for a spare diet will make bare bones Nan If you be lean you will want a Cushion unless your Husband will allow you one Mistriss Odd-Humour A miserable Husband will never do that for they think ease breeds Idleness Nan If he be miserable he will be pleased you shall be idle for exercise doth cause a hungry Stomack but if he be a jealous Husband he will not be pleased you should be idle for idleness breeds wantoness Mistriss Odd-Humour A jealous Husband and a miserable is to a woman much a-like for the one bars a wife from Company the other from Meat the one will not allow her fine Cloathes the other dares not let her wear fine Clothes the one will not maintain Servants to wait on her the other dares not trust Servants to wait upon her lest they should be corrupted to be Pimps or Bawds also a miserable Husband and a Prodigal one is a-like to a wife the one keeps all his wealth and spends none the other spends all and keeps none the one will give his wife none the other will spare his wife none from himself and Vanities and Vices thus a wife is poor or unhappy either in a spender or a sparer but if my Father would not cast me and my Portion a-way is to marry me to a man whose bounty or liberality is within one part of his wealth as three parts liberality and four parts wealth and one that hath more love than jealousy more merit than title more honesty than wealth and more wealth than necessity Nan But if you never marry till your Father get you such a Husband you will dy an old Maid Mistriss Odd-Humour I had rather dy an old Maid than be an unhappy Wife Exeunt Scene 11. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity Why are you angry with me because my Brother is an enemy to the marriage I was a Friend to it and did my part consenting to what you desired and why are you angry with me because the Laws have disanulled the marriage I cannot alter the Laws Lady But your Brothers power with the Arch-Prince and the Arch-Princes power on the Judges and Lawyers Divines and Church-men hath corrupted the Laws and caused Injustice Sir Thomas Gravity That 's none of my fault I have not power to mend them but let me have so much power with you as to perswade you to be patient in matters where your impatience will do you no good also let me Counsel you to advise your Daughter to endeavour to forget my Nephew at least not to love him as a Husband but to place her affections upon some other man for she being freed by the law may marry again who she shall think best to chuse And to draw her off from her Melancholy humour you must perswade her to divert her self and thoughts with variety of Company and to take delight in such things as other Ladyes use as fine Dressing rich Cloathing sportfull Dancing merry Meeting and the like and she being very handsome since she is grown to womans years will be admired praised and sued too in which admirations and praises women take glory and are proud to be wooed for it is the pleasure of their life and the life of their pleasure Lady But how if I cannot perswade her to associate her self with young Company like her self or to wear fine Cloaths or to take pleasure in sports and plays Sir Thomas Gravity Command her to adorn her self bravely and to go to Balls Playes and Masks and those pleasures will steal on her unawares and no question but a little time will make her take such delight therein as she will be so fond of Company and Bravery as you will find it difficult if not impossible to perswade her from it Lady I will take your Counsel and follow your advice Exeunt Scene 12. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. My Lord hath sent for his Son to come home for to marry with the Arch-Prince's Neece 2 Gent. She is a Lady that hath more Wealth than Beauty and more Title than Wit 1 Gent. My Lord cares not to marry his Son to Beauty or Wit but to Riches and Honour 2 Gent. My Lord is Covetous and Ambitious 1 Gent. So are all wise men for they know that Wealth and Honour are the Pillars and Supporters to hold up their Familyes that makes Fathers desirous and industrious to marry their Sons to great Fortunes and not to great Beautyes that their successors may not be buryed in Poverty for Beauty is only for delight but not for continuance Beauty lives only with fond Youth Riches with wife Age and Dignity Crowns antient Riches for a long and rich succession is a Gentlemans Pedigree 2 Gent. I thought Merit had been the foundation of a Gentleman 1 Gent. So it is sometimes but not always for where Merit Dignified one Family Riches Dignified a hundred poor Merit is buryed in Oblivion unless Fame builds him a Monument whereas Riches build Monuments to Fames Palace and bring Fame down to his Palace but Merit without the assistance of Riches can neither feed nor cloth nor sustain nor cannot buy Houses to live in nor Lands to live on it cannot leave anything for Antiquity but the memory of it self wherefore my Lord is wise to chase Riches for his Son 1 Gent. But 't is a question whether his Son will take them and leave the Lady be once was marryed too for 't is said that she is grown an extraordinary Beauty Exeunt Scene 13. Enter Lady Gravity and Lady Perfection her Daughter in black very handsome LAdy Gravity Will not you obey my commands Lady Perfection Yes Madam so far as it is my duty Lady Gravity Then do as I command you dress fine and keep Company Lady Perfection Gay Cloths Madam and my mind will not be suitable my indisposed humour and Company will not be agreeable neither know I how to behave my self in this condition I am in nor how to associate my self for since my marriage is disanull'd I am neither Maid Virgin Widow nor Wife Lady Gravity Come come you are my Daughter that 's sufficient Exeunt Scene 14. Enter two Men 1 MAn Faith I pitty my young Lord for since he is returned from his tedious travels he is kept Prisoner at the Court for the Arch-Prince and his Father will not suffer