the Question to Seneca where any Friends are to be found and where not he would answer That they crowd in throngs after Persons in Prosperity but that there is not one to be seen near the Cells of the Disastrous This same Truth sufficient of it self to have defac'd in Seneca's Thoughts those amiable Ideas of the Purity and Excellency of Friendship which he had fancied to himself deserves to be supported with some Examples Among which that of Queen Margaret is very Remarkable She tells us in her Memoirs That being Arrested in her Appartment as they carried her cross the Court of the Lovre they who the day before thought themselves happy if she but vouchsafed to cast a look upon 'em no sooner perceived her but they turned their backs upon her And that which Strada relates of Charles the Fifth is no less Remarkable He tells us how strangely that Emperor was Astonished when entring into Spain after he had made an absolute Resignation of his Empire and all his other Dominions he perceiv'd by the small number of persons of Quality that came to meet him That how Glorious soever the Person of a Prince may seem 't is not that but the flourishing Condition of their Fortune which Courtiers adore And then it was saith the Historian that Charles himself was deeply sensible what it was to be a Prince without either Sov'raignty or Title and that he saw himself stripp'd like a naked Man Thus we have seen the Errors of Cicero and Seneca touching Friendship yet as absurd as they were they are not to be compar'd with those of Montaigne who tho a person of so much Sense and Solidity has discours'd of Friendship like one in Delirium And the reason why he has so grossly mistaken upon this Subject is the great Affection which he has for gay Imaginations lofty and extraordinary Fancies especially when he finds in those Imaginations that there is any thing that flatters him and which makes for his Advantage And hence it is That after he has laugh'd at all those Ties and Obligations between several Persons to which he says men give so rashly the name of Friendship he maintains That there are not only real Friendships but such Friendships where Men forget all thoughts of Service and Kindness for all others but only the Party belov'd where they so entirely abandon themselves to their Affection that they do not reserve to themselves so much as the disposal of their own Will His words are these Among us men there is not any footsteps of Friendship to be seen All those sorts of Friendship which Profit Pleasure Publick or Private Business have begot and cherished cannot be said to be Friendships in regard they intermix another End another Cause and Benefit then themselves Perfect Amity is indissoluble every man surrenders himself up so entirely to his Friend that there remains nothing for him to bestow elsewhere He is perplexed that he has not several Souls and several Wills that he might dispose of all to his Friend This Friendship possesses the Soul and governs her with an absolute Soveraignty this Friendship which must be only and singular defaces all other Obligations The Secret which I have sworn not to discover to any other I may without Perjury communicate to him who is not another person but my self My Friendship with Stephen Boeotia has no other Idea but it self and has only reference and relation to my self It hales and draggs away my Will to plunge and lose it self in the Will of my Friend and then searches his whole Will it hales it back again to plunge and lose it self in mine with an equal thirst and concurrence In this sort of Friendship every thing lyes common Will Thoughts Wives Children Honors and Estate Then speaking in the same place concerning Blosius the friend of Gracchus who vow'd he would have fired the Temple had his Friend desired it They says he who condemn the words of Blosius as Seditious do not well understand the Mistery of Friendship for they were greater Friends one to another then to their fellow-Citizens or to their Country Can there be imagined a stranger blindness then this to confound Friendship with Love and to ascribe to a vertuous Inclination the Injustices and Transportments of Passions the most violent For then it is the part of Love to devote a man entirely to the person whom he loves and to make him forget his Duty to God his King his Parents and his Friends for such is the fury of this Passion that it transverses Reason whose proper office it is to mark out to every man and oblige him to the observance of all his Duties This is the Employment of Reason so long as she raigns in the Body and she is no less careful to preserve Man so steady in the observation of Devoirs that she never suffers him to violate the least particular or that he should be wanting in his performances to God to acquit himself of his Affection to the best or most faithful of his Friends tho he were beholding to him for his Life it self And therefore what Montaigne affirms That Frieuship has a Priviledge to dispense with all Laws and to render us innocently Impious Sacrilegious and Infidels is equally contradictory both to Reason and Religion which is apparent from hence that the Pagan Theoligie teaches no such Doctrine but rather the contrary that we never ought to injure Piety under pretence of satisfying the strictest Obligations of Friendship As for that other Assertion of Montaigne That the Secret which he has sworn never to reveal to another he may without Perjury communicate to his Freind who is not another but himself it needs no answer for what shall we say to a man who by a childish piece of subtilty and a pretty Equivocation pretends to justify Perjury and the violation of plighted Troth Nor is it a less shame for that Author to extol to the Skies those Roman Ladies who chuse rather to kill themselves and dye with their Husbands then to survive and follow 'em hereafter more especially the Wiâ—e of the Consul Cecinna Poetus who to rescue her Husband from the Torments that were provided for him and to encourage him to be his own Executioner after she had Stabb'd her own Breast presented him the Weapon all bloody as it was with these Words Here Poetus take it it has done me no harm I say it was not honourable in Montagne to attribute the effects of ambition to conjugal Friendship as one that did not percieve in the couragious Resolutions of Poetus and Seneca's Wives to dye with their Husbands that immoderate desire of Praise wherewith the Romans were always inflamed according to the Character which Virgil has given of ' em Laudumque immensa Cupido Rather it behov'd him to have given the same judgment of Arria as the yonger Pliny did from whom he had the Story Arria said he the Wife of Cecinna Poctus taking the Dagger to
Benefactor a friendship not only sincere but cordial But whatever he thinks proceeds from his own self-Self-Love and causes him to be thankful for the kindnesses he receives to those that are the Donors not for love of them but meerly upon the consideration of his Interest But the next succeeding Thoughts to these are quite contrary For he that has receiv'd great kindnesses presently perceives that they are no Presents but only Loans he begins to look upon his Benefactor as his Creditor that Dunns him and all the obligations which he owes as so many Chains and Fetters that load and oppress him Which Condition is to him so insupportable that his desire to free himself inclines him secretly to laugh at all his Obligations and his Ingratitude would doubly appear upon the first occasion did he not fear the ruine of his new pretensions This Fear or rather Hope of some more considerable benefit it it which inspires him with sentiments of Gratitude which obliges him to publish the Generosity of his Benefactor diligently to visit him and to shew him upon all occasions how highly and how particularly he is beholding to him Nevertheless if any other Person in the heighth of all this double diligence shews him but the least glimmering of some greater Preferment he turns about immediately and goes directly where his Interest calls him However he still carries himself outwardly very fair toward his Benefactors till the fatal occasion gives him an opportunity to pick a Quarrel and then without any hesitation away he dings to court his greater profit Then his Interest declares it self and his Ingratitude sallys out from the bottom of his Heart and shews it self no less black then it is notwithstanding all the care he takes to vail it with a million of pretences and to lessen the benefits he has received Nor need we be surprized that a Sentiment so treacherous and base should breed in the Heart of Man For more wondrous Sentiments breed there if we may believe Aristotle The Nature of Man is so wicked that they who owe great summs and they who have receiv'd considerable Favors wish with an equal hatred the one the death of their Creditors the other of their Benefactors Which saying of the Philosopher concerning the malice of Men to their Benefactors will not seem incredible to those that understand the vastness of his Pride and that all dependencies and duties are odious to him but rather make it evident how far the Thoughts of Men are from sincere and virtuous Gratitude and that when they do behave themselves gratefully it is only in hopes of some newer Favour Aristotle is so far convinc'd of this as to assure us that they on whom we bestow our Favours have no affection for their Benefactors only they admire the kindnesses which they receive or hope to receive Which is the reason we do not apprehend the intention of Seneca who takes upon him in several Treatises to instruct how to bestow our kindnesses supposing the ill choice of Subjects to be the only cause why there is so little Gratitude stirring when as it proceeds from the corruption of Mans Heart which is so ungrateful and unjust that unless we could make Men in love with Justice it is impossible to make 'em Grateful If thou dost not inspire Vertue withal says Plato into those whom thou obligest they will never be sensible of thy kindnesses But Interest is not the only cause of Gratitude there is also in the first place the fear of that shame which attends upon Ingratitude For since Men are become the Soveraign Judges of Human Actions they have adjudged far more Infamous those that offend or injure them then they that violate the Laws of God and because no Men are more hated then they who do not equal with their Services the Obligations they have receiv'd but frustrate the expectations of their Benefactors Hence it comes to pass that they are look'd upon by the Beneficent as Men unworthy to live and that Ingratitude is branded when Sacriledge and Impiety are honour'd These two sorts of Gratitude the one proceeding from Interest the other from Fear are the most usual Those sorts of Gratitude that proceed from Pride and Vanity are not so effectual but they are common enough We find this sort of acknowledgment in those who having been the Favourites of Kings and Princes take all occasions to mention the benefits which they have received at their hands and enlarge upon the circumstances seemingly to shew that they preserve 'em still in their Memory but indeed to let the world see that they were no mean Persons in those days There are some sorts of acknowledgment that proceed from malignity and murmuring Discontent Such are those which some affect to shew before certain Persons whom they design cunningly to accuse for neglect of their Services who express themselves after this manner I have been hugely beholding to such a Prince he has done me a thousand kindnâ—sses but I took nothing so kindly as that he still prevented my Requests These Kindnesses thus acknowledg'd before great Persons from whom they design to wrest particular Favours are usually cunning Accusations and Reproaches thrown upon 'em for their remissness and private intimations of what they expect at their hands There are other Acknowledgments Vicious and Criminal Such are the acknowledgments of those who having a false Idaea of Friendship believe that gives 'em a priviledge and imposes an Obligation upon 'em to violate Laws the most just and equitable to espouse the unjust Quarrels of their Friends to serve 'em in Duels and Revenges and to assist 'em in the stealing of Fortunes and to concern themselves in Intrigues and Confederacies contrary to their Duty Lastly there are cunning and politic Acknowledgments which we testify to those that sollicite our Assairs to oblige 'em to Fidelity and Diligence For example There was a Person at Court who having oblig'd a Friend to serve him in a business of importance that tended to the advancement of his Family gave him full assurances of his acknowledgments proportionable to the difficulties that presented themselve so that when he saw him tir'd out with the pains that he had taken and discours'd with the apprehension of new obstacles Sir said the other I am sensible of the trouble which I gave ye but consider how much you oblige me and were not I a person of an absolute good nature yet had I but a grain of Gratitude it would suffice to make me eternally sensible of the Obligations you have laid upon me And this he repeated as often as he found the zeal of his Friend begin to grow cold It is not requisite to recite the rest of this Story it will suffice to tell ye that the Person of Quality's business being accomplish'd he soon cancell'd the Remembrance of the signal Service done him so that indeed the more we study Men the less we are able to apprehend how they can live at peace with themselves All that comes into his Mind is this that while others observe Vices in his Vertues he perhaps may see Vertues in his Vices and in his Actions look upon that for a great piece of Dexterity which we rebuke for double-dealing and Imposture Or else he may act like the Peacock who always looks upon what he has most lovely Spiegala Pompa del'e occhiute Piume Displays the Pomp of his Embroiaer'd Tail But never minds his acts of Injustice Infidelity and Ingratitude There are two sorts of Ingrateful Persons as there are two sorts of Knaves The First are ungrateful to the highest degree and turn their Tails as soon as they have receiv'd a Kindness fearless of the Disgrace or Infamy that attends it The t'other sort fall off by degrees and to render their Flight more Imperceptible they turn their Flight into a Retreat We find the first sort in the Countrey where Men are more downright and less able to disguise their Vertues With the other sort we meet at Court where they know how to put an honest Man upon the vilest and most wicked of Actions True Christians therefore both know and practice vertuous and real Gratitude For besides that they are sincerely touch'd with theâ— Goodness of those that favour 'em with their kindnesses and that they are always ready most faithfully and cordially to retallate to the utmost of their power their Acknowledgment stops not with their visible Benefactors it re-ascends to God who is the Author and Fountain of all their Happiness as they are commanded by the words of the Gospel Call no man your Father who is on Earth for your Only Father and consequently the sole Benefactor so bountiful to all Men is God who is in Heaven FINIS
it is impossible judgment of their Vertues When we see a Man saith St. Austin that never encroaches upon his Neighbour's Lands and perpetually careful how he offers any prejudice to his Goods or Person at first we are apt to think this man just But we change our opinion when we apprehend that this man abstains from invading his Neighbours Estate for fear only of being prosecuted at Law and lest he should consume his own in defending what he has violently taken from another It is not so with a person of Sincerity We give him that title so long as we find him to be cordial and open-hearted and that we may depend upon his word because it is not in his power to disguise his thoughts But when we have sounded him and perceive that he makes use of his Sincerity as a Veil to cover his Designs and that his frankness is only a means to obtain his ends our Idea's of the same person are then quite different But what are the ends or what the prospect of a Sincere man The first is to oblige his Friends and all those with whom he has any familiarity or dealing to discourse sincerely with him to conceal nothing from him to the end he may understand the truth of their sentiments their inclinations and their affairs as also to know the truth of what passes abroad as accidents and stories the most secret and most full of curiosity so that Curiosity is here the principal Cause of his Sincerity Now in regard that this was the second Passion that sprung up in the heart of man and that it succeeded next to that of inordinate Self-love and had a considerable hare in his fall doubtless this passion cannot but be extreamly violent and tho her violence be unknown because not obvious to the sence yet is it easie to perceive it by that eager desire which hurries us to gadd after Novelties Shews and new Acquaintance especially where we hear of Wit and Beauty or any thing of extraordinary parts Let us apply this to our purpose and let us say that we may discover Curiosity to be a violent Passion by our violent listning after public and private News and by the pleasure which we take in hearing it which is so great that it is the most delightful employment of our Lives insomuch that this pleasure seâ—ms to be not only the divertisement but the very nourishment of our thoughts for we grow melancholy when we are in places barren of Tales and Stories or if being retir'd into the Country our Friends in Town or at Court are negligent or forgetful to send us the weekly occurrences We need not wonder then if men that now adays live such a Life of Passion labour with so much earnestness to gratifie a Passion so lively and vehement as Curiosity and that there are so many who make use of Sincerity as a Bait to allure their Friends to open their Hearts and trust 'em with what is most proper for their satisfaction We shall better apprehend that there are several persons that are Sincere out of a respect to themselves and to feed their Curiosity when we consider that most parts of Friendships are deceitful and that the frequent ruptures proceeding from the cold correspondencies which persons frank and open-hearted find in their Friends arise from hence that they did not receive that Benefit from their Amity which they expected I mean that we are not absolutely offended that the Sincerity of our Friends is not equal to ours but that their want of Sincerity deprives us of the knowledg of their Sentiments their Designs and their private Intelligences The second pretence to Sincerity is upon this account that men may tell 'em the Truth which they desire not so much out of a Love of Truth or any aversion to error or falshood but fearing the ignomy of being Deceiv'd For man at his first Creation reverenc'd Truth of that respect which he bore to God and that he might live under Divine direction and avoiding Error that lead him astray But now he admires Truth for another reason because it is an ornament to his mind and sutable to his excellence above other Creatures and hates Error and Delusion only because they are ignominious Now we are sensible of this shame when believing that we have for a long time enjoy'd the friendship and confidence of such and such persons we at length come to discover that we are abus'd that they have all along disguis'd their Friendship and conceal'd from us their most important affairs In the third place men of Sincerity pretend to remove from themselves all suspition of double dealing and knavery For in regard they find that Knavery ruins irreparably their Reputation they conceive an extraordinary aversion to it and look upon Sincerity as a Vertue proper to make 'em esteem'd and to fix 'em upon the Basis of true Honesty They also hope to acquire the good will of all the world by their frankness of proceeding and by the sincerity of their words Nor are they deceiv'd for upon the same score that they shun Falshood and Dissimulation they love and seek after persons of Sincerity they also desire their preferment and gladly serve 'em upon all occasions For this is one thing which men of Sincerity aim at as not being satisfied that their Sincerity begets them the esteem and friendship of men unless they may be also serviceable to 'em in their particular affairs Lastly we make a profession of Sincerity to the end that others may have a firm belief in us and may give credit to our words For nothing flatters our Vanity so much as that Authority which our Words have acquir'd thro the good opinion which men have of our Sincerity So that it is the principal endeavour men of Sincerity propose that are unbyass'd And when they are nicely Ambitious 't is their only aim We find at Court even amongst those who are most addicted to Intrigue several that counterfit a sincere aspect which they strive to make appear as natural as possibly they can accommodating likewise to the sincerity of their Looks the tone of their Voice and gesture of their Body They affect a free and open Countenance and a genuine Behaviour to gain Credit among those with whom they have to deal This sort of formal Sincerity we find in Chief Ministers of State in Ambassadors in men of Business and generally in public Persons And so long as they are dextrous at it it serves 'em to conceal their Designs and is the reason that men believe and put a confidence in them and it sets them at liberty to follow their Inclinations and their Interests contrary to their Oaths and Engagements out of confidence that whatever they do will be always well interpreted There is one sort of Sincerity that proceeds from the force of Self-love This we meet with in persons downright and of mean capacities who upon all occasions display the reality of their
Vertues a Quality which comprehends and includes them all in one Nor must we forget that it was she who wrought those Miracles which Antiquity has consecrated to her Memory that has fam'd Greece for persons obstinately resolv'd to dye one for another and celebrated Rome for Women abandoning their Lives that they might be inseparably united to their Husbands We must acknowledge in good earnest that there can nothing be more noble then what men say and what they think concerning Friendship only we could wish that it were real But what is too true on the other side is this that all the motions of Nature are Circular they who have narrowly observ'd the Actions of men assure us that the momotions of his Will are the same and that he is so fix'd and devoted to himself that every time he goes beyond himself to assist his Friends in their most pressing necessities he returns to himself by some private way And therefore whatever men believe or imagin that he serves another to be serv'd himself that he procures the settlement of others to secure his own or at least to reap the honour of his several Kindnesses All sorts of Friendship says Aristotle are like so many Rivulets that take their rise from the Spring of Self-love So that that same Friendship which seems to us most pure is but the seeking of some advantages which we hope to obtain by that kindness which we do to others True it is that it is a neat and dextrous way of seeking and that of all the pretences of Self-love that of Friendship is the most honest and that which most genteelly covers its farther intentions For among all the various Disguises that man makes use of to succeed in the world there is none so honourable as when he strives and labours to appear a zealous and faithful Friend And therefore we need not wonder if it be chiefly at the Court where affected Friendship exposes it self that there she erects her Theater and puts on all her gawdy Habiliments And lastly that there she acts her Master-pieces and recites her smoothest and most affectionate parts since it is there that they who take that course to attain their ends make the greatest advantages and obtain the highest preferments But if there be no true Friendship wherefore is it that Ministers of State and Favourites of Kings and Princes are so zealous to serve their absent and disgraced Friends This Objection has taken deep root in the Breasts of most Men and it is so much the more necessary to be answer'd because the Reply will discover a kind of Mistery I say then that the good Offices which for the absent and their diligence to make their advantages of favourable Conjunctures are so far from being done out of pure kindness that on the contrary they are the meeâ— effects of Interests A great Minister of State testifies his Zeal for his absent Friend and presses continually that he may be recalled home 1. Because his â—riend having assisted him to obtain the Diâ—nity he enjoys that Minister had lost his Reputation had he not given his Friend that publick mark of his acknowledgment 2. He does it for fear lest the King should have a bad Opinion of him as having frequently thus considered with himself What would the King think of me should I be silent and do nothing for him who haâ— don so much for me 3. He has a design that his Friend should be yet more united to his Interest 4. He is afraid of his Enmity should he return and he not be concerned in procuring it 5. He has this prospect of the future that so long as he had shewn himself cordial to his Friend he should find the like that would bestir themselves in his behalf should it be his turn to fall into disgrace And this is a certain Demonstration of what I assert That a true crafty Courtier is never zealous for his absent Friends but when he believes the King has still some remaining tenderness for 'em but he never troubles himself for those that have utterly and irreparably lost the good Opinion of the Prince and are irrecoverably fall'n into his displeasure With this sort of absent Friends they soon break off all manner of Correspondence and raze 'em from their remembrance as if they never had been in the World more miserable then the dead who leave behind 'em many times those Friends that wish 'em alive again that they might bestow upon 'em Employments and Offices which they have at their disposal Men being generally so courteous so human and generous that they are always ready to bestow their Favours upon those that are not in a condition to accept of their Kindness After all that has been said no Man will think it an irrational Astonishment that so sublime an Intellect as that of Cicero should follow all the Vulgar Opinions concerning this subject of Friendship and that of all the true Arguments that prove there is not any true and unbyass'd Friendship not one should be able to open his Eyes 'T is strange says Cicero That seeing there are so many Millions of Men all strictly bound by the same tye of nature we shall hardly throughout the whole extent of the Earth find two real Friends But this can be no wonder to those who apprehend that Man is a Prisoner to himself and that self-self-love is a kind of Waiter that attends him every time he stirs abroad and brings him home again For it is apparent that Man being in such a condition is not capable of Friendship seeing that by the means of Friendship he ought to enter into his Friend and remain in the person whom he loves 'T is a shame says Cicero That a Command an Employment Mony or Reputation should have the power to ruin the most friendly contracted Friendships and that two Men so strongly united and rivited together should so easily become Rivals And indeed it is no way proper that a Man who wishes his Friend as well or better then himself should be afflicted at the increase of his Wealth or Honour nevertheless it creates those Jealousies that rend his very Heart and maugre all the violence which he uses to himself they appear in his Countenance And therefore it is false that he wishes his Friend those advantages of Honour and Preferment out of any sentiment of sincerity as a votary for his Welfare And this reason alone should be enough to dissipate that same darkness which blinds the World force it to acknowledge that Man is only amorous of himself I cannot endure says the same Author That Men should make love to grow from Business and Interest and that they ascribe so mean a birth to a quality so exalted for what have I to do with Scipio or wherein can I be serviceable to him I shall answer his Question with another For I would fain know whether there be no more then one thing of which a man stands in need whether
it be not as necessary for him to acquire Honour as to heap up Riches and whether all things which he does not enjoy and which are proper to satisfy his natural inclinations are not so many Indigencies But what are these wants and these interests that destroy those amities which to us seem so sincere that we shall see in due place in the mean time Cicero must give us leave to assure him with Plato That Friendship had its birth from Indigence To this we may add That of all the Errors which Cicero has maintained upon this Subject that is the absurdest which undertakes to prove That Freindship not only equals the Fortunes of Friends by laying their Estates in common but also levels our Sentiments for them with those that we have for our selves Insomuch says he That the Name of Friendship perishes if the Affection for our Freinds be not as sincere as great as strong and as tender as that which we bear to our selves Whence it comes to pass that we call a Freind our Other Self and that we say that two Persons link't together in Friendship have but one Heart and one Will. But whatever these Proverbs signifie certain it is says Aristotle That there is nothing comes near the Friendship which we have for our selves and that it is both the beginning and the end of that which we have for others therefore where a Man shares his Estate with his Friend where he surrenders to him the Employment which he enjoys where he gives him all the Honour that they have acquired together upon the same occasion when he retires and leaves to his Friend the entire Glory of an Illustrous Atchievement all these Acts says the Philosopher proceed from hence that Man is still first a Freind to himself For he does all these things with a real intent that they should return to himself since they all redound to his Satisfaction and his Honour But how comes it to pass that so many persons believe they serve their Friends out of pure and sincere Love and that they do not perceive that they seek themselves in the Services which they render ' em I answer That we do not perceive what we do for our selves in what we do for others because that the most part of the time the motives that engage us to act ly concealed in our Breasts and we rather choose to perswade our selves that we act generously and bravely then to study the knowledge of our selves or to inform our selves of our secret intentions For should we be taken up with these Cares and frequently examine our own Hearts they would soon discover the secret Springs that move us and govern our Actions when we also be most regardless of Self-Interest and would Demonstrate to us that there is nothing so profitable or delightful to us or that flatters our ostentation so much as the very thing we seek for when it seems to us that we seek nothing at all We must therefore acknowledge that Cicero had the true Idea of Friendship and that he has given a most exact Definition of it where he says Than Friendship is the perfect Vnion of two vertuous Persons and That it is an Affection reciprocal constant sincere and unbyass'd and we would willingly have subscrib'd to his Opinion if instead of saying This is Friendship he had said This is that which Friendship ought to be He also spoke much better then he thought he had when he affirms Friendship to be a Divine Vertue since it is no where to be found but among men truly Divine I mean among true Christians For the Freindship which they profess one to another having its Original from God who always acts sincerely for the good of his Creatures obliges 'em to procure the Advantages of their Friends without any respect to themselves As for the Arguments he brings to prove that Men are capable of a real Friendship they are extreamly weak But the most sinewy is this We find says he That Vertue is amiable by our natural inclinations For if a sane Constitution pleases us if Riches and Honor have their allurements how is it possible but that we should be smitten with Beauty and charms of Vertue She it is that gives Life to Freindship and renders her powerful and indissoluble two vertuous persons no sooner cast an Eye one upon another but they conceive a reciprocal Affection so that there is no other ground of their Amity but their Merit and as for Profit and Pleasure which have no share in the production they are only the pleasing fruits of the happy Conjunction This is a specious Argument and dazles those that only slightly examine it But they who more seriously pry into it may easily discover the Falacy For 't is apparent to all the World that if there be no real Freindship but what is founded upon Vertue it is impossible that Vertue should stand when the Foundation is demolished that is to say if there be no sincere Vertue which is the work of this Treatise to Demonstrate Add to this that tho we should suppose there were Vertues real and sincere yet would it not follow that they were beloved for themselves so long as it is so apparent that no man tries Vertue but only for his own interest nor is it the uprightness of the Law which makes him love the just but he has therefore a kindness for just persons because they offer no violence either to his Estate or Honour Besides that we are to observe That the most excellent Vertue and most proper to beget Esteem and Honour for those who enjoy those perfections of endowment more frequenly awaken our Jealousie and our Envy We shall see that Seneca is not much more to be admir'd then Cicero when we hear him recount the wonders of Friendship Friendship says he is so pure a thing That neither the expectation of Wealth nor ambition of Honour nor prospect of any sort of Interest contributes to its Birth Wherefore then do we seek to make Friends I would make Friends to give 'em a share of my Estate to accompany 'em in Exile to suffer with 'em the utmost rigour of their Misfortune and I would make Friends to dye for 'em if there were occasion Now I would beg of those that have never so little knowledge of the Heart of Man if ever Friendship of this nature had beginning there and whether it be possible for a man to raise the Platform of such a Friendship for the sake of which he would ardently desire to despoil himself of his Estate to sacrifice his Life and take upon himself the ponderous weight of another mans Calamities In good earnest he must have a great tenderness for self-delusion who admits such a Dream or Vision as this for real Truth And that which must convince us That there never was any such Friendship in nature but that it is only a Chimera residing in the Imagination is this That if we should put
kill her self giving her self the Stabb had before her Eyes the perpetuity of her Honour And this is the general Reason of these sorts of Deaths which we call Illustrious for which some other particular Causes are always also alleadged As the usual additional Reason of these Ladies Self-murder beside their vanity to Immortalize themselves was their dread of being exposed to the indignities of an inhuman Tyrant abandoned to his own Lusts This same Dread it was that had a share in the Death of Arria for she had reason to fear lest the Emperor Claudius so enrag'd as he was against those who had taken part with Scriboniances should put her Husband to some cruel Death and there make some further attempt upon her Honour And it is as visible rhat Paulina had the same jealousies for no sooner had Seneca her Husband receiv'd orders to dye but she offered to be his Companion in Death and cut her own Veins at the same time that he open'd his Yet when Nero had assur'd her that he had no enmity against her but that he had a high value for her Vertue and the Grandeur of her Descent she suffer'd her Wounds to be bound up and her Conjugal Amity permitted her to live The Opinion of the World saies Tacitus was That Paulina was desirous to have shar'd with her Husband the Honour of a Death so magnanimously undergon so long as she thought Nero's resentment would not stop there but when the Tyrant had assur'd her and that she hop'd for better usage at his Hands then she expected she easily surrender'd to the persuasions of those that exhorted her to live But Montaigns greatest shame is That hardy Ignorance which emboldens him to reprove those that condemn the expressions of Blosius who vow'd he would have burnt the Capitol had his Friend Gracchus desired it These words which seem to him so wonderful are however censured by Cicero as the Expressions of a Villain and to the end it may appear to have been deservedly done I will confirm those words with what Brutus said to the Romans Tarquinus Collatinus my Collegue in the Consulship is my intimate Friend but because the name of Tarquin is detested by you all and for that it might raise a just suspition of me I advise ye to Depose him from the Consulship If therefore we are oblg'd to Sacrifice the Particular Interests to the Publick good which according to Aristotle is a Celestial Good what are we not oblig'd to do for the sake of God or how can we believe that human Considerations should be more predominant then our Reverence of his Temples so that indeed it is a hard matter to apprehend how a man in his Witts could imagine that perfect Friendship was an engagement to commit any Crime and justify the Act. Friendship says Cicero is a bad excuse for Miscarriages for the first Law that it imposes upon Persons when first united is neither to require or act any thing to wound the justice of the Laws Common sence would have taught Montaign this sound Doctrine had he not affected a particular Philosophy by himself or rather had not his Judgment been perverted by his Vanity and indeed it appears That all his Hyperbolical yet weak and sickly Discourse concerning Friendship proceeded from hence that he had an iâ—ching desire to let the World know what rare Qualities he was endow'd withal and that he was capable of a sort of Friendship not to be parallel'd by any Example True it is That altho it be impossible that his Friendship with Stephen of Boetia should be such as he represents it nevertheless we find and agree that it was no common Amity but such a one that we may do him justice as ought to be ranked with that of Pliny the younger and Corellius or Cicero and Scipio that is among those Friendships that are contracted without any design to advantage our Estates and which is not to be found but among persons of Worth and Merit whom the Vulgar believe to be unbyass'd However they are not so in regard there is no greater profit or which they whose Interests are nice and delicate more passionately desire than what men of surpassing parts when link't together in Friendship reap from the conversation of each other For that which engages 'em in this sort of Friendship is the eager desire which they have to be esteem'd by a person whom all the World admire and to find in a Friend a competent judge of his Worth I have lost Corellius said Pliny the younger and I bemoan his loss for the love of my self as having lost a worthy Testimony of my Life and Conversation Scipio said Cicero was touch'd with that Love which I had for Vertue and I was an admirer of his Therefore to define aright the Friendship of two men both endued with extraordinary Qualities it is a certain League which they make one with another reciprocally to observe whatever is valuable in each and to esteem each other according to their deserts Ordinary Friendships are civil intercourses of which we expect to make several Advantages correspondent to our different pretensions or to say better to our different Passions So that our Passions are the visible causes of all the Friendships which we contract Seeing then our desire of Wealth is a Passion most vigorous and impatient and that there are a number of people who have either no Estates at all or not sufficient to support their Quality hence it comes to pass that Interest is the occasion of all our ties and Friendships hence it comes to pass that men fast'n themselves upon Kings their Favourites and Ministers make use of all manner of advantages and take upon 'em all manner of shapes to perswade them into a belief how much they are devoted to their Service This is the reason that men crow'd in heaps to the Courts and Palaces of great Personages as men run to the Publick Springs for according to the saying of Euripides When the Earth is parch'd with Drowth then it most earnestly covets Rain The Passion of pleasure associates and links young People together and because they do not always find it in one place by reason of the several obstacles which they meet with and for that they frequently take distast and grow weary they often change Friends as Aristotle has observ'd There is also a conceal'd Ambition which is a third cause of Friendship This we meet with in a sort of people who devote all their time and make it their sole business to attend upon some person in high Employment whose favour and approbation renders 'em considerable in the World There is another sort of Ambition more easy to be discover'd and more common which engages several people to signalize themselves in all the affairs of their Friends on pupose to make a noise in the World and to put a value upon their Friendship But Men are not only deluded by their Passions which are the occasion many
times that they consider themselves and secretly seek their own profit when they think to serve their Friends after a manner seemingly altogether void of Interest They are also absurd by their dispositions and the qualities of their temper which some mistake for real Inclinations and Qualities of Friendship For the Cholerie who act altogether violently imagine that when they defend their Enemies with so much heat it is their zeal which inflames their friendship whereas it is their natural warmth and impetuosity that chaffs and transports ' em The Melancholic believe they love thâ—se whom they affect meerly out of a capricious and obstinate choice Women mistake the softness of their Complexion for the tenderness of their Friendship The Sanguine perswade themselves to be more then ordinary Friends by reason they are naturally of a caressing and pleasant humor which always enclines 'em to an obliging Conversation in Society and a readiness to do kindnesses Hence it is that men can never agree upon the Subject of Friendship and that they form so many different Idea's of it For in regard that most people derive it from their temperament and has its Birth from the particular humor that predominates in the person it is impossible that all men should conceive and be sensible of Friendship after one and the same manner Hence it is that the Cholerick whose Friendship is fiery and full of transport torment themselves cry out and make a noise upon the misfortunes of their Friends whereas they who are of soft and mild disposition in the Comedy of Friendship act only the part of Lamentation and Complaint and sometimes think it sufficient to testify their grief by the sadness of their Countenances and their Silence And for the same reason it is That these two sorts of Friends disprove and accuse one another the mild and peacable Friend not being able to apprehend how Friendship should consist in making a noise and the impetuous no way approving a still and quiet Amity There are some Friendships which Men contract only to obtain others more profitable and advantagious or to preserve or re-kindle those that begin to grow old for the World is so judicious and governs it self so strongly by reason that they who desire success in their designs are constrain'd to raise themselves as it were by certain Engines and to maintain their ground by all sorts of Artifices and the way which the honester sort have recourse is to fix themselves with the one by means of others and dextrously to make it known that they are the Confidents of such a Princess or that they have access to such and such persons of Quality that they may have admission to the Chief Ministers of State Here we must add to what has been already said that men are not only false when they assure us that they love their Friends with a true Sincerity or feign to love those for whom they have no affection but also when they would make the world believe that they have a great number of Friends Which I take upon me to affirm because there are a sort of people who being suffer'd at Court yet neither valu'd nor belov'd are still vaunting the great number of their Friends so that when any person of Quality dies they make a shew of being deeply afflicted and bewail their loss Before I finish this Discourse it behoves me to answer an objection that seems to carry somewhat of weight I mean that proof of Friendship so remarkable in Pylades and Orestes Damon and Pythias so obstinately resolv'd to lay down their Lives the one for the other We shall not go about to lessen this proof as we might do by alledging the uncertainty of these examples of which the first is no where supported by the testimony of any Historian Nor shall I urge the rareness of the example that we meet with only these two in regard we may well grant that there has been a person in the world who offer'd to lay down his Life nay more that he suffer'd Death for his Friend without departing from our first Assertion That there is no sincere and cordial Amity For we still maintain that a man may seem to lay down his own to preserve his Friend's Life and yet that he suffers rather for his own Honour that is to purchase to himself a kind of Glory which is to him so much the more charming as being an act to be talk'd of altogether rare and singular There are some people says Aristotle who rather chuse to perform one noble and generous Act then many that are frequent and usual Such are they who chuse to dye for their Friends Now if it be a difficult thing to apprehend how a man can possibly resolve to suffer Death and consent to his own destruction for the love of himself we need no more then call to mind several who and have kill'd themselves to be recorded by Posterity for men of unparallel'd courage and resolution We may also consider that this difficulty of conceiving such a Resolv'dness in Man proceeds from hence that we frame our argument of a sick person as if we were discoursing of a person in sound health For Ambition being one of the most violent Distempers in men we must know that it is able to alter his Condition to deprave his Appetite and make him more desirous of that immortal Honour that attends a Great Action then of long Life And by the same rule we are to judg of that noble proof of so great and so unusual a piece of Friendship which Socrates gave to Alcibiades when he surrender'd to him the Honour of the Victory which he won in Macedon And we may believe upon good grounds that Socrates foresaw that Honour which he gave to Alcibiadâ—s would return to him with a much brighter lustre and that his nice and delicate Ambition would better relish the Merit of a great Action which was without example then the Honour of winning a Battel Let us then with Aristotle resolve our Friendships into Self-Love as to their proper original that it is rivited in the hearts of all men and that the difference between ordinary Friendships and those between persons of Worth is only this that they are more refin'd and conceal'd in the one and more visible and unpolish'd in the other Let us acknowledg and sincerely câ—nâ—ess that when we resolve to do some particular act of kindness for our best Friend it proceeds from a thought that upon some occasion which we foresee we shall have need of him or that he will be more careful in displeasing us or more diligent to keep us Company Let us confess I say that these motives and some others of the same nature present themselves to our minds and share in all our designs and resolutions to oblige those that we respect and love But if after all that we have thus demonstratively discours'd upon this subject there be any persons who flatter themselves that
and Handsomness imaginable Must not also he be a great Master of his Resentments who favours those that have caus'd him to waste the best part of his Estate through their quarrelsome and litigious vexations when after the loss of their suit so unjustly commenc'd it lies in his power to ruine ' em Lastly we must acknowledge that we have need of a great deal of good Nature to pardon a Person that has offer'd us a bloody Affront when his Misfortune delivers him into our power and that we have an easy opportunity to revenge our selves And that which advances the Power of Generosity upon all occasions is this that besides that the Power of Revenge is so sweet that it is a difficult thing for a Man to surmount its Temptations and generally all those Advantages that he obtains against those that have adventured to contend with him so swell his Heart that he has much ado to govern it We cannot deny but that the force of Generosity is highly extraordinary But thence it does not follow that it is a vertuous Force For as St. Austin says There are two sorts of strong Men that divide all Mankind the one sort is of such who are strong through the vehemence of their desires The other sort that is to say True Christians are strong through the greatness of their Charity There is nothing that they will not venture for the Love of God There is nothing which the others will not dare or are not capable to act for the Love of themselves and to gratify their Passions To them they are beholding for all their force and Strength and it is their Ambition that empowers 'em to vanquish their Revenge For how sweet soever pleasure of Revenge may be an ambitious Person that loves Glory finds the Honour which he seeks in a Generous proceeding much more sweet than his Revenge Reason also joyns with his Ambition and shews him that Revenge how pleasing soever it is but a Transitory Delight where the Reputation which he acquires by his Generosity remains to perpetuity The Generosity of Prime Ministers and such as are in Authority proceeds from their Interest and therefore when they apprehend that a person of Merit or high Quality is obstructed being their professed Enemy and perplex'd in his Affairs they presently use all their diligence to help him out of his trouble on purpose to gain his good Will and fix him to their Interests And upon the same score they are more officious many times to gratify their greatest Enemies than their most faithful and zealous Friends Again our Natural Malignity is the most usual cause of our Generosity For in serving those that have cross'd our Designs we do but heap as it were so many Coals of Fire upon their Heads that is to say we do 'em kindness for no other end but only to make 'em asham'd that ever they did us any injury and to render 'em the more inexcusable if they persevere in their Malice towards us The Spirit of Revenge may be reckon'd for a piece of this Malignity For we believe that if a Person to whom we have been frequently serviceable comes to fail in the Obligations which he owes us he will disband himself and revenge the injustice done us much better than we can do our selves The Generosity of Victors toward the Vanquish'd is either vain or politic which makes us wonder that Historians should extoll the kindness which Alexander shewed to the Mother Wife and Daughter of Darius for Actions really Generous For besides that their Sex and Quality in some measure obliged him to those Civilities and that he could not have done otherwise without a great stain to his Reputation he was so desperately in Love with Honour that his Soul not being satisfy'd with what he had gain'd by his Victories he labours incessantly to augment his Civilities besides that he took care as much as in him lay to alleviate the misfortunes of those Captive Princes to prevent their Hatred against him that was the Author of all their Miseries He had also a particular aim so far to recover the good Opinion of Darius and the Royal Family as to believe that since their evil destiny had depriv'd 'em of the former Luster and subjected 'em under his Dominion they could not have fall'n into better hands And we find that Alexander obtained the Honor which he desired by the Prayer of Darius to the Gods That if they were fully resolved in their displeasure to take from his Family the Diadem of Persia they would set it upon Alexander's Head to recompence the Vertue of so good and generous a Prince The same Honor he receiv'd from Sisygambis the Queen This Soveraignty said She is so soft and gentle that the Remembrance of my past Felicity does no way render me uneasie in the Condition of my present Fortune Nor was it out of any desire to revenge the death of Darius or out of any hatred of the Treason that he so severely punish'd that horrid Assassination committed by Bâ—ssus since it was his Perfidiousness how execrable soever that put Alexander in the possession of the greatest Empire in the World But it was for his Honour and his Interests sake that he reveng'd the Death of Darius but chiefly for the sake of his Interest For he put Bessus to death to prevent the Conspiracy of his own Commanders against him And this is no more than the Advice which Darius sent him some few Minutes before he expir'd that it would be no less Profitable than Honourable for him to prosecute his Revenge upon that execrable Parricide Bessus as owing that Example to the World and for that it was the common Cause of all Kings Less does it deserve the name of Generosity when seeing Darius lying all along dead in his Chariot he cover'd his Body with his upper Garment and bitterly bewail'd the Misfortune of so Great a King for coming to an end so unsuitable to his high Dignity For it was no Sentiment of Generosity that made him bewail the evil destiny of his Enemy for that Darius was none of Alexander's Enemy but Alexander was Darius's and had invaded his Empire So that it was Alexander himself who was the real Subject of his own Lamentations who reflecting upon himself in the Person of Darius saw himself abandon'd by his own People assâ—ssiâ—ated by his best Friends and over-whâ—lm'd with those dire Misfortunes that usually attend great Prosperities Among these sorts of People who esteem as Generous all those Sentiments wherein there appears something of Grandeur of Mind as the Contempt of Mony and vain Honours some there are that vilifie this sort of Generosity Fore-seeing that almost all the World run after the Favour of Great Personages and court their Kindness not only with a restless credulity but after a sordid and misbeseeming manner they steer a quite con-contrary course They refuse all attendance upon those Great Men to desire any Kindness at their