vs shal knitte couple thē selues in good loue charitie In matrimony there chaunce many casualties as pouertie infamie enprisonmente banishement sicknesses the whiche are rōinon to all men and yet may touche onelye the one of thē which are married not offende the other as yl thy fa ther in law of whom thou lokedst to haue had a great inhe ritaūce had lost all his goods and wer defamed wherwith his daughter also were somwhat bespotted falsely conuicted of some crime imprisoned or banished the citie or fallen into some disease or sickenes But as concernynge thys thing I wil only say as nature doeth prescribe determine it for god doth commaūde vs to beare such good wyll and mind vnto other as we wuld desire they should beare vnto vs nor that only in thys greate coniunction of soule and bodye but also vniuersallye vnto all menne Supporte and suffer thou thy wyues mischaunces as she oughte to suffer thyne for matrimoniall loue should haue euerye thynge so mixte and myngled that they shoulde not saye thys is myne and thys thyne but that all thynge as profyte and disprofyte good and badde shoulde be common And yf ye be one and not two then canne not she be sycke and diseased but that thou muste nedes be sycke with her nor she poore and thou ryche The whyche thynge canne not chaunce amonge frendes howe shall it happen then where is so greate and so faste a knotte and coniunction both of mynde and of loue A sure and a true frende sayeth Ennius is in a thinge vncertayne Her syckenes and afflictions shall declare howe well thou dydst loue her when she was in healthe And folowyng the instincte of Nature and the commaundemente of God thou shouldest iudge her to be euen one thynge with thy selfe and her body consumed w t sicknes to be thy bodye as whē it was most florishing most pleasaūt vnto thine eye and thou shouldest serue and kepe it with no lesse diligence then thou kepest thine owne And as charitie through mer cy should grow increace towardes thy selfe thy chyldren so should loue teach thee to do towardes thy wyfe tru ly louing her as thy selfe and as thyne owne proper chyldren wherby she being diseased or troubled by fortune shalbe vnto thee more derely beloued then euer she was in her moste floryshyng estate and condicion women haue their certaine smal debates enuye and theyr diuers disdaynefulnesses and hatredes the whiche of verye lyght occasions and causes do spryng and ryse sodenlye as of suche whose iudgemētes are weake and feble but with suche matters men of grauitie oughte not to medle They haue like wyse theyr proper ambition and pride bothe in worde and place and whether they sit or goe But yet the husbande shal not encrease these thynges nor shewe hymselfe a minister nor a reuenger of her complaintes and sorowes be cause she was not honoured nor taken after her wyll and pleasure but rather to laugh at them and contempne thē callynge moste diligently vpon her to see to other thinges of moore importaunce profite For suche as doe medle or trouble them selues with suche lyght folishe matters are more mete to weare womēs apparell garmentes to spynne then to weare a berde or to be estemed or taken for a man Make such mē rulers of cities seing thei are so vnapte to rule gouerne their owne familie and housholde What thinge is there moore vnmete for a manne then to moue or to trouble hym selfe w t the lyght appitites fonde lustes of women ¶ What vtilities and profites the mutuall loue of those whyche are marryed doeth brynge IT can not be wel rehearsed nor told how manye vtilites and profites this concorde doeth brynge to great thynges bothe at home abrode nor how many losses incōmodities do growe of the dissentiō and discorde y t is betwene the good manne and hys wyfe The housholde when theyr maister and theyr mistres are at debate can no otherwyse be in quiet and at reste then a citye whose rulers agre not but when it seeth them in con corde and quietnes then it re ioyseth trustynge that they wyll be euen so vnto them as it perceyueth theym to be amonge thē selues wherin surely thei are not deceyned for yf y t man his wife do benigly gently support intreate one another they learne not to disdayne or for euery light fault to be angrye with theyr seruaūtes or yet for any hous hold words to be vexed or an gry with eche other but to set a syde al hasty and cruel wordes correctiō with all other thinges that procede of a disdaynefull a furious minde And the seruauntes are not onely mery therfore but also they do theyr seruyce y e more obediently gladly shewing reuerence vnto the maiestye that procedeth increaseth of quietnes and concorde For the husband doth defend hys wyues maiesty with loue and beneuolence and the wife her husbandes with honor obedience What shal I neede to saye y t cōcord causeth thē to be estemed wise and honest And they muste nedes be good seynge they haue loued so long together Nor ther can be no longe amitie or frendshyp but betwene those that are good the whiche doe suffer and deuour vp those thynges for the whiche other men leaue forsake amitie and breake of charitie Nor there groweth of none other thyng so great reuerēce maiestie as of the opinion and estimation of ano ther mās goodnes wisdom the which reuerēce is not onlye honoured within the dores but also shyneth and extendeth it selfe into the citie so that he is taken for an honest man and borne to be louing and gentle seing that he loueth so constantly and for a wise man considerynge y e he fo moderatly can handle so di ficulte and hard matters and worthye to rule a common wealth that with such wisdō and iudgement doth rule his owne house and that he may easely conserue and kepe his citezyns in peace and concorde that hathe so well stablyshed the same in hys owne house and familie And on the other syde who thynkest thou wyll beleue that thou arte able to be ruler or to kepe peace and quietnesse in the citye seynge thou canst not lyue peacesably in thyne owne house where thou arte not onelye a Ruler but a Kynge and Lorde of all Leontinus Gorgias the whyche was the syrste that amonge the Greekes was commended for hys eloquence exhortinge the Grekes wyth manye wordes at the playes of Olympe vnto peace and concorde certayne men as it is sayd cryed out saying Let him first be at con corde with his wyfe and hys mayde and then come to persuade counsell vs to peace Ther is no man but wil trust to obtayne that easly the amitie and frendship of so noble so gētle a person whose benelouence gentlenes can not be
fall into this silthines Who woulde take such endles dayly renu ing paines and labours yf he thought not the childrē to be his owne and yet he taketh these paynes with those the which he trusteth beleueth to be his by lawfull mariage furthermore the loue of the parentes doth redounde vnto their children augmenteth their loue charitie towardes thē as hatred dothe diminish extinguish y e same as the fabelles do declare of Medea the whiche after she perceaued y t Iason had forsa ken her being moued with y t iniury prouoked with a cer tayne bitter hatred agaynste her husbande murdred her owne childrē And Euobardus hated his sonne Nero y e which was Emperoure because he had childrē by Agrippa y t fearce cruel woman And y e loue of the husband wife towardes theit childrē doth fortify strengthen the loue bitwixt thēselues for he loueth his equal as y e wife herein is whē she loueth her childrē whiche are deare vnto their father as her husband doth whence they haue a double loue and strēgthe bet wixt thē selues another bending from their children for we loue those y t loue the thinges whiche are deare vnto vs. Therefore fathers hauing good affectiō mind vnto their children receaue thē after their possibilitie riches do nourishe thē teache thē drawe thē frō vice represse their affections and stirreth vp the force strēgth of their reason iudgement to thende they shuld vse it y t al other powres shuld principally as vnto a quene obeye vnto it And yet beynge thus instructed they leaue thē not so nor cast thē not of nor depart not from them as other beastes do but defend them embrace thē after theyr pos sibilitie adourne thē nourishe them helpe thē Nor thys beneuolence doth not subsiste rest in thē onelye but stretcheth for the vnto the sonne doughter in law 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 wherof great 〈◊〉 reconciliacions haue oftentimes yssued and cities haue had theyr beginninge This loue doth descende vnto oure neues and cosing and taketh care for the posteritie And in that nature which is partet a ker of iminortalitie doth regard the eternitie the which throughe generation shal ensue folowe where vnto the house the familie y t patrimonie parentage are constituted made the name of the kinred as it were the note marke of a certayne flocke remayning y e which family geuinge it selfe to ydlenes and pride is no other thinge but the beginning of al flagitious nes misihiefe for the time it so remayneth shal neuer be without some mischiefes cruel vnquiere and violente oppressor of other mens libertie the which taking only a pride of his name sercheth to excel al other trusting in honest ar tes knowledge So on the other side it is a thing moste beautiful y t the youth of that familie or house maye haue a certayn discipline art of honeste liuinge to be vsed with lawde prayse y t which their parentes should deliuer vnto thē from hande to hand with their inheritage name as a remembraunce of good workes with domestical and fami liar exāples to ensue folow the same Who can declare y t great cōmodities of all those thinges the which by y e gyfte of god we haue obtayned to ouerrunne finishe this lyfe withal We are farre gone frō the rites and customes of beastes humanitie hath she wed her selfe garnished with order lawes discipline the which thinges shuld separate leade vs frō vice place vs in the trade way of all vertue One Eue was geuen to one Adā as one Churche to Christe as the holye Apostle dothe interpretate it to be a great mistery as perteyning to Christ his churche And one man ought to be the husband of one wife as nature it selfe doth saye as the lawe of god better then the law of nature the true expositour of the same dothe teache vs first by the cōposition of y e bodies by the maner of generation the whiche by the embrasing of two bodies is made perfecte but yet by a more secrete misterie for the loue of two is best without emulation for when two or mo doo loue one thing it is not without enuy for very hard it is y t one shuld loue two equally or shew or els suffer it selfe to be of thē beloued he of those two y t shall perceau y t he is best beloued shal waxe insolēt prowd as victorious in bat taile the other not being so wel accepted beloued shall burne as ouercomde with sorow enuye his corriuale fellowe in loue for other he would possesse the thing seue rally alone or els be principal in the possessiō therof where out shuld arise hatred strife trouble in the family y e which thing the fearcenes of man w t some great tumulte pertur bation of thinges shuld cause or els through the debilitie y e cōplayntes importunitie of the woman which hate none other weapons trouble shuld encrease cause a mans life to be intollerable not onelye chafing nowe then with his fellowe in loue as with a strōpet but also with her husbād This thing is not expediente for quietnes pleasaunt tran quillitie the whiche shuld be at home in the familie wher vnto euery man defatigated with matters of the cōmon welth priuate or exterior wetied do draw them selues as vnto some sure port or hauē But yf quietnes be so vexed disquieted at home and all thinges troubled with hatred where shal then y e minde of man tost with so many care full tempestes repose it selfe Truly a man had rather inha bite among the litigious striles of the law among the tēpestes surges of disputatiōs in the ieoperdies of peregri nations thē to returne home to such an vnswete vnsauery bitter life For in the amitie and loue of many the one beholdeth loketh vpon the other not al vpon one as ser uaunces behold looke vpō their Lord and mayster For when two or thre behold one y t is no 〈◊〉 but riualitie coutention or els a dominion of many vpon one in the whithe kind estate there is wōt to be enuy hatred trouble when y t the fauour and loue 〈◊〉 al desired inclineth to one alone And therfore at y e beginninge God gaue to one Eue one Adā to be her Lord and mayster And beinge minded to drowne the world he caused certayne men their wyues to enter into the arke for the conseruation generation of mankind But the preceptes cōmaundementes of god do verye wel declare the strength force of nature the which being in vs corrupted by the varie tie of affectious leading vs to diuers cōtrary thinges is by the celestiall oracles preceptes restored agayne vnto hys integritye In Genesis
do whereby they maye be blamed or suspected Nor superstition in a woman is not intolerable so that it be not so anxius that true religion be therewith extingui shed Nor I do not commend that woman the whiche doth not of a greate carefulnes she hathe vnto religion incline to superstition except she be one of the absolute and perfecte sort of matrones These be the inclinations of women the which may be bowed vnto that that is good as the inclinations of men maye as hereafter shal be declared In y e meane space there are none in this nature to be refused excepte thou wilte none and had deste rather lyue alone withoute anye companye at all The ende of matrimonye is to haue chyldren and to lyue together and manye do erre mooste 〈◊〉 in bothe Some there be that force not of what sorte of women they gette theyr children when that they the whyche other by fortune or by the gyftes of nature are more excellente then other shuld diligently take hede y t they cast not so noble sede into euill grounde that it be not corrupted with some euil naughtie qualitie For we see that diligent husbandmen doo diligentlye take hede to choose out that grouÌ„d which is most apte and conueniente for their sede leste they loose yf the grounde beynge euill and naughtes brynge for the euyl corne both coste and laboure and so much the more they do sorow the thing how much the goodnes of y e sede dyd put them in good hope comfort To this is ioyned y t the more tenderly the father loueth his chylde the more it greueth him that he shoulde take any incurable vice of the mother the whiche thynge comyng by her should grâ—ue hym not a lytle Agayne of what â—reare importaunce is it to liue together Nor there is nothynge more tedious nor more greuous vnto man then by the waye to be in com pany with an euyll and a foolishe companion And it were a great deale better to liue alone then with an euyll man and to playe with a whelpe then to reason w t a focle O what a madnes were it then not to thinke it to make any thynge at al to the matter of what nature qualities she be with whome thou muste both lyue dye yf perchauÌ„ce she be molestious or otherwyse vnto the then thoughtes As touchyng the chylde two thinges are to be wayde and considered the body and the minde of the woman and that her body be not to farre out of fashion The magistrates of the Lacedemonians called Ephori coÌ„demned king Archidamus because he hadde maried a wife of a lowe stature whose children shoulde not sufficientlye ynoughe represent the person and dignitie of a kinge althoughe this thinge be not of suche importaunce that a man shuld ther fore refuse his wife so that she haue sufficiently ynoughe all other qualities For we do see that suche short and defor med women bring forth most beautifull and goodlye children We shoulde rather take bede that she be not infected with some infirmitie or strange disease and sicknes y t whiche y e phisitions do call hereditarie and do procede from the parentes vnto their children of the which some there be most filthy letting the due tie and office of life These are more diligently to be eschued then those whiche are not so horrible and filthye And yf thou thy self be infected with anye suche infirmitie I wold thou shouldest dispose thy self to liue chaste withoute sinne for as it is a thing most swete and delectable to haue children so it is verye sharpe and a discomfortable thyng to see them oppressed wyth greuouse infyrmityes and diseases the which yf it were possible we would rather desire to haue and to suffer our selues then with our so greate payne and heauines to se theÌ„ in our children And therfore we oughte to consider take hede y t our myndes be sound and that oure contagiousnes nor vice nether by nature nor by custome do infect our children I saye the selfe same by the man for this is the office and duetie of a good man to be contente with his misfortune and chaunce not to let it creepe forth to infect other If we vse suche loue charitye vnto oure frendes that they in no wyse nor maner be not infected wyth oure infirmytyes howe muche more shoulde we be studious towardes our owne childreÌ„ And fathers thus counseled do vse to mary their children for yonge men will heare no suche counsell for the more madder they be the more wiser they thinke them selues And that is the chiefest poynt of all madnes to thinke hym self wise Unto these thinges adde this y e thy childes mind be not throughe education maners contaminated for y t thing is very hurtfull for thy sonne and pestiferous for thy daughter the which beynge nourished and brought vppe with their mothers obeye vn to their counsels and studye in word and dede to ensue folowe the same And as for the stocke and kynred there neadeth not in this consultation of childreÌ„ to be any great sollicitude or care for the chil dren do folowe thee and not the woman Thus muche we haue spoken of children Let vs now speake of the coÌ„munion of life wherin must be considered thinges bothe good euill profitable and vnprofitable Loue whereof amitie dothe take her name dothe growe of this opinion y t the thing is good and fayre and this is the knot of amitie the which once taken away amitie fayleth And therfore true and durable loue is onelye amonge those that are good amonge whome there is but one constante rule and maner of liuinge But the euill vnited and coupled together w e an euill intent and desire are no longer frendes then that desire endureth for yf that vanyshe awaye and fayle the force and strengthe of theyr loue and amitie doth decaye for the knot that knit fast it to gether is remoued And therefore we muste consider both the goodnes of the mind and of the body and whether suche thinges as chaunce and happen vnto man of the exterior thinges be good after y e mind of the Peripatikes are euil or coÌ„modious or incoÌ„modious after the mind of y e Stoickes but I labor not greatly in these thinges In the soule are these sharpnes dulnes swiftnes slouthfulnes subteltie simplicitie malignity goodnes helth infirmitie inclinatioÌ„ to vice and vertue variablye and suche thinges which are gotteÌ„ by vse as artes knowledge rudines wisdom foolishnes and all vertues vice contrary vnto these In the body are these age helth stature for me strengthe and beautie The exterior thynges are these kynred fame ri ches dignitie grace and condition I haue reckened vp euen sufficiently ynough these qualities for thys my treatise because I haue no place here to intreate of theÌ„ more largely These thinges of the body maye be easelye
he is the self same thyng with another And god doth saye y t the wife with her husband is al one thing And Cicero to cōfirme kepe amitie geueth this counsel that the inferior shuld ascend the superior descend for so y t things may be brought to equalitie But in matrimonye this nedeth not for it is sufficiente both for y t man the wyfe to perceyue vnderstand that they are parte eche of others bodye And therefore to be fayre or foule ryche or poore noble or ignoble whole or sicke wyse or folyshe is nowe throughe the operation and work of God the which hath made them bothe one common vnto them bothe Nor there shall neuer be true and cōtinual loue except it be stablyshed vpon those thynges that remayne after death For beauty ryches kinred suche other haue their tyme some appoynted by nature some by fortune other humaine chaūces Thei haue also their sacietie in time and place thei are forgotten For we can not at all tymes and seasons remember the Fabians the Cornelians and that we receyued a greate dowrye The affection with the tyme doth waxe feble cold and the plentifulnes and vse of that that a man dyd gredely fyrst desyre doeth cause him to lothe it Al these thinges do diminishe loue certē of thē do vtterly extinguishe it the which if it had bene in the mind in vertue shoulde haue continued for euer For vertue is euer at hand neuer ydle neuer vnprofitable nor voide but alwayes working Nor y t soule of mā by y e death of the bodye doeth not die so that we may beleue that thei whiche be departed doe loue all suche as in thys worlde were deare vnto theym and that they whyche loued the Soules of those whyche bee departed and deliuered from the bodye do loue them not as deade but as they loue their frendes y t which are absent farre frō them And therfore we do see many women that kepe their fayth loue vnto their firste husbandes as did Demotions the Ariopagites doughter of the which S. Hierome doth write agaynste Iouiniane the whiche after that her spouse Leostenes was deade woulde mary with none other saying that she should marry an aduouterer no husband for although he wer departed yet he was aliue vnto her And so sayd that womā of Rome And how sharpely wittelye doth Lucane bring in Cornelia Scipio Metellus doughter and Pompeus last wife taking and esteminge her selfe but as an harlot as touchinge Iulia hys first wife as though the knot and band of matrimonye and loue did yet indure bet wixte the liuing and deade And naturally euery man desireth to be loued and doth searche for the fauour of other men and studieth to kepe to encrease those thinges that cause hym to be in fauour If thy wife do perceaue that thou art rauished and taken with her beau tie and would that thou shuldest loue her she wil do al her diligence to encrease augmente it yf with her communication she will neuer cease pratling yf with her vertue she wil dayly labor howe in all honest vertuous dedes she maye be better By as one of the seuen wise sage men of Grece gaue this one precept rule of loue Loue so sayth By as y t thou mayste hate and hate y t thou mayst loue I can not saye whether this wyse man doth more folowe the figure of wordes then y t truth of the sentence inasmuche as he dothe teache that no man shuld be to other nother faith full frende nor enemye And therefore Cicero doeth saye full truelye that all amitye and frendshyppe shoulde decaye yf a manne shoulde loue so that he maye hate What shoulde he truste then what shuld he beleue or to whome shoulde he open hys mynde or how shuld he loue him tru ly and with al his heart whē he may coniectute and thynk that in time to come he wil be or may by his enemy surelye he will drawe backe and prouide agaynst such thinges as may fortune chaunce And therefore this sentence maye thus more cōuenientlye both for the vse of nature of this life be turned Loue neuer to hate but hate to loue when time shal be Euery man shuld loue his frend simply but speciallye his wyfe And forasmuche as loue other affectes are named of the Philosophers Habitus the whiche are conserued and kept in vs through time operation and labour we muste euen at the beginning geue our diligēce that all iniuries and offences maye be auoyded for as Plutarke doth saye tender softe loue is sone broken Therfore that newe loue coniunction of the mind must be nourished with benigne swete gentle conuersation vntil it be so increased fastened y t no great storme be able to dissolue or breake it And al suspitiō must be at all times but specially at the beginning of matrimony auoyded lest thou firste begin to hate or euer thou beginne to loue And beware thou fayne it not nor conceaue it of no light occasions coniectures for vnto suche thou shouldeste geue no eare although there were great apparence liklyhode Ther is no man so well fashioned and brought vp that can satisfye all men and he that was able to auoyde the faute was not able to auoyde suspition for y e iudgementes of men are free and licentious they do interprete y t they see and heare not after the truth but after their affections and the coniecture that they do fayne reioyce in vnto the whiche some do geue more credite then some Pansanias in platose Simpose doth put two Venus two loues a heauenly and an earthly The earthly is blind abiect vyle fyithye and occupyed aboute vile and filthye thinges neuer lokynge vp to thinges of more worthines But that celestiall and heauēly loue doth see most cleare lye folowyng vertue those thynges whiche are mooste beautifull and moost lyke vnto heauenlye thinges Those husbandes that loue the beau tye or the ryches of their wiues are blynde and subiecte to that earthly loue not perceauinge the reason nor yet the measure therof But thei whiche are true husbandes loue the soule and vertue and haue a iudgemente in loue and beyng inspired wyth the strengthe and spirite of that celestiall loue do loue wyselye for pure and holye loue dothe not vyolentlye compel them as that doeth whyche is earthlye but prudentelye doth guyde and conduct thē gently perswaded to y e place they shuld go vnto The wise husbande doth loue his wyfe feruentlye but yet as the father loueth his sonne y e head the body the soule the fleshe and as Christe dothe loue his churche thus must the husbande the wife loue eche other Nature it felfe dothe teache vs this they lykewise that are learned in diuine letters do tel vs y e same Adam was firste created like vnto
familiar custome of their fathers without any paine or laboure But nowe a dayes they call her eloquente that with long vayne confabulation can intertayne one and what shuld a man thinke that she beinge vnlearned shoulde talke with a yonge man litle wiser then her selfe but that that is eyther folish or filthy And this they call the gentill intertaynement of the court that is to say of y t scole where they learne other like artes of their mayster the deuill See no we where vnto y e maners and customes of men be come and how all thinges do turne for nowe it is estemed as vile that a woman shulde holde her peace that is that her most fayrest vertue shuld seeme to be deforme and fylthye Howe greate laboure shal we coniecture that Sathan tooke to perswade man to beleue this But thoushalt number scilence among other thy wiues vertues y t whiche is a great ornament of y t hole feminine sexe And when she sp eaketh let her coÌ„municatioÌ„ be simple not affectate nor ornate for y t declareth the vanitie of y t mind And al suche as were praysed of oure elders for their eloqueÌ„ce were most extolled lauded forasmuch as they kept the language of their forefathers sincere and cleane as Cicero declareth in his boke of an Orator And Iuuenal euen crabbedly and not withoute a cause doeth saye Lette not thy wife be ouermuch eloquent nor full of her shorte and quycke argumentes nor haue the knowledge of al histories nor vnderstand manye thinges whiche are written she pleaseth not me that geueth her selfe to poetry and obseruing the arte maner of the olde eloquence doth study to speake facundiously This holye and sincere institution shall increase thorough the good example of y e husbaÌ„d the which to informe and fashion the womans life and his family withall is of no lesse valure and force then the example of a prince to informe the publique maners customes of a citye for euerye manne is a kynge in his owne house and therefore as it besemeth a kyng to excell the common people in iudgemente and in example of lyfe and in the execution performaunce of the thynge that he coÌ„mauÌ„deth so he that doth marrye muste east of all childishnes remember the saying of the Poet This age requireth another manner of life other maners and so to take vnto him selfe the counsel and mind of him y t is aged to mayntayne the duetie and office of an husbande declarynge a good life not in wordes preceptes onely but also in life and dede The which two thinges to rule maÌ„ withal are very necessarye that is wisdome and example and that thou thy selfe fulfyll the thynge that thou cammaundest to be done The life whether it he good or euyll dothe not onelye as Fabius sayeth perswade but also constraine and inforce We doe see how myghtye that thys exhortation is in warre and in battell O my souldiers doe that ye shall see me doe the which contempte of deathe in the captayne doeth so creepe thorowe the whole hooste that there is not one be he neuer so seeble and weake hearted that doeth esteme his lyfe for the which he perceyueth that hys captayne careth so lytle for Thus dyd Christe wyth hys Apostles and Martyrs draw the world vnto y e faith for as thei liued so thei spake and as they spake so they lyued Nowe shall thy wyfe obeye thee commaundynge her to be sober temperate yf she see thee distempered and likewyse of continence chastitie yf thou be an aduou terer and a folower of other mens wyues For Claudian doeth say yf thou commaund any thynge to be done looke thou be the first that shall doe it and so shall other obey thy law commaundement nor shal not â—eny to do the thyng that they se him do that commaunded it Furthermore he muste rehearse vnto his wife the good examples of other women for that shall seeme and apeare more easye to be done that hathe bene done alreadye And yf the mind be couragious and noble it can not be well expreste no nor scantlye beleued howe it shall be prouoked and styrred vp wyth the laude and prayse of other Themistocles was wonte to saye that Mylciades tryumphes dyd excite and quycken hym Nor thou shalt not onely rehearse vnto her olde and aunciente names as Sara Rebecca Penelope Androinacha Lu cretia Colebolina Hipparchia Portia Sulpitia Cornelia and of our sayntes as Agnes Catherine Margaret Barbara Monica Apolonia but also those that more fresher as Catherin quene of englaÌ„d Clara Ceruerta the wife of Uallearus and Blanca Maroa albet I doe feare to be reproued that I doe thus commende my mother geuynge my selfe to muche to loue and pitie the which trulye doeth take muche place in me but yet the trueth muche more There can not lacke in euerye nacion and citye ho nest and deuonte Matrones by whose examples thei may be styrred and prouoked but yet the familier examples as of the mother the â—eldame the aunt the sister the cosyn or of some other kinswoman or frende shoulde be of more force and value For why suche examples as we do fee doe muche moore moue vs and better we folowe theym then anye other And in like maner the actes and deedes of euyll and wycked women doe teache vs what we shuld flee and auoyde beynge certayne that suche thynges can not be hydden and that the rewarde ther of is at hande at leaste wyse the publyke ignominie and shame of all the cytye that better it were to dye then to lyue so Familier communication doeth bothe instructe them and also confirme theyr maners but yet let it be symple as wyth her that is thy moste frende and mooste familier not vsynge her in thy wordes more reue rentlye then is conueniente nor sufferynge her to honour thee more then it beseemeth the whiche as at some tymes they doe increace reuerence so thei do diminish loue cha ritie y t which in matrimonye should be most true seruent And as concernyng venerati on reuerence thei cause the mind rather to dissemble theÌ„ to be symple and open as it ought to be No man geueth faythful honour or reuerence to him that is arrogant and vayne or that of right doeth loke to haue it for honor may wel be drawen but not extor ted Call thy wyse by a name that pretendeth a loue that maye styr her to loue thee as doughter or syster as Paule dyd cal hys And she shall call thee by some name of honour as Sara called Abraham lorde Ye muste often tymes coÌ„mon together of vertue of maners of y t errour of the coÌ„mon people of the vse of thinges of the conuersation gouerning of the house houshold of the artes occupations y t ye must get your liuyng with al of the holy institution and education of your children
coÌ„pared to that frende vnto whome a man may coÌ„mit not only such thinges which are common but also the secretes of his heart open most surelye great matters and small good and euil and disburden his minde and to whome as sayth Ennius thou mayst com municate both priuely and apertlye all thy ioye and pleasure And of such a frend wheÌ„ the mind is so obfuscated with perturbations and thoughtes that it can not discerne what is best or moste expedient to be done let vs aske couÌ„ sell. There is in this life no such sawce nor no like swetenes amonge these businesses If there be theÌ„ so great good nes among frendes the whiche at some times are so farre deuided one from the other how muche more shuld there be among those that dwell in one house in one chamber and in the selfe same bedde A wo man well taught and instructed as a faythfull womaune shall kepe close thy secretes as wife and learned shal geue thee good counsel shal coun sel thee as she would counsell her selfe consideringe that she loueth the no lesse then she lo ueth her selfe the whyche thynge is as well comprised in the christiane as in the matronale Philosophie In com mitting of our secretes one to another two thinges are to be coÌ„sidered Loue the which wil kepe that thing secrete close that is perillours to be opened wisdom the which with knowledge can holde in and kepe scilence hauing prudencye for his guyde ruler Tell not that to the vnwise or to a babler that thou woul deste not haue published or knowen A foolish womanne maye sone be knowen by her wordes maners al such are busye and curious to knowe that is secrete nor doth neuer cease vntill they come to the knowledge therof Such are knowen with many and they know many the which thing they shuld neuer haue obtayned but that they knowe the secretes of manye and had discouered theym to manye they whisper with many and when they are ydle and occupied aboute euyll they seeme to be best occupied There be other that are voyde and far from all good artes and knoledge the whiche beynge geuen to futilitie and vaine com munication doe sounde as it were a lytle bell being voyde of all other thynges sauynge of the clapper Some other doe take themselues as women withoute ciuilitie and good maners onlesse thei disclose the secretes and priuityes of theyr houses the whiche shoulde be kept most secrete to theyr frendes and parentes thynkynge by that to winne their loue fauour There be y t reioyce to be takeÌ„ for the inuenters of greate couel rumors as there be like wyse amonge men esteming theÌ„ selues to be had in greate admiration yf the thinges that they doe tell be merueylous And they goe about to declare of what authoritie and credence they be of with all other for asmuche as they know other mens secretes And because there be for lacke of knowledge many such y t auncient wise fathers dyd forbyd that no man shuld disclose his secretes nother to mother syster nor yet to his wyfe Portius Latro doeth saye that a woman can kepe that thinge secrete and close that she knoweth not Of this I haue seene many examples that confirme those olde sayinges As this other amend or els beware But it shalbe best to geue thy diligence to make her better for so with litle laboure and payne thou shalt gather great commoditie and profite And amonge all other thinges thou muste beware of thys y t thou geue not y t rope to hym that shall make an halter to hange thee wyth all What thynge can be moore hurtefull then that whereof the wyse man speaketh in holye Scrypture Geue not the power of thy lyfe vnto a womanne leaste she comme in thy strengthe and so thou be confounded Men saye that Policides was so subtile a thefe that it auay led not to shutte the cofers but that it was necessarye to fayne that ther was nothing in them and to leaue them open for all thynges were as open vnto him And it is said that a certayne wolfe hauing a greate and a ryche familie was often tymes monyshed by her chyldren of suche thinâ—es whiche were profitable to be done at home but she be inge olde and by longe experience wyly named her right eare wysedome and her lefte eare memorye when her chyldren spake to her on the left syde she considered what they sayde and agreed vnto them But when they were on her ryghte syde she syldome agreed vnto theym althoughe they broughte home the lefse so that it were not to greate a losse and hynderaunce vnto her And wheÌ„ they accused her because she lyghtly regarded their counsel nor tooke not the praye that she was wonte to take she made them this answere O my childreÌ„ I haue brought home quietnes a moore delicate thyng then is the praye the which I kepe by the ayde and helpe of Maiestye But when they counseyled her vn wyselye she mekely declared vnto them theyr ignoraunce And thus when they wer to importune she put theÌ„ backe and when they were deceyued she taught theÌ„ so that by this meanes they had her in more veneration reuereÌ„ce But when they kept playnely theyr woluishe nature and vsed her as it became them to do she receiued their counsel not as it were any new thing vnto her but perceyuyng the woluishe qualities to be in theÌ„ she commended it acceptyng and taking them for her owne children so that they woulde learne y t craftines of the wolfe and be modestious And furthermore to geue theÌ„ to vnderstande that they had to do with her that was old she shewed them the thynge that in couÌ„sel they might better and w t more effecte haue considered thought vpon ¶ Of the house THey that are married ought inwardlye in mynde to be such among theÌ„sel ues Nowe we wyl speake of exterior and outwarde thynges in the which the husband whyche hath not purposed to lyue miserably and wretchedlye must not folowe the common voyce of the people the whyche are without reason That citye is not by and by well ruled that doeth confourme it selfe to other cities nor that house that foloweth the example of the house that is nexte vnto it nor neuer a one of vs all that wyll lyue as other menne doe lyue Thys is an execrable errour to be drawen and led by the example of other hauyng no wyll to doe that oughte to be done but that that is accusto med to be done What madnes is it to wyl vnto thy selfe that is euyll because thy neyghbour hathe the same or to doe the selfe same wythout anye consideration of the successe or ende therof or so high ly to esteme the consent of the synnefull that thou haddest rather suffer a certayne and a presente miserye then to be seperated or to goe from theÌ„ We in takynge of deliberation
lyse A calami tye infernal Two wayes in mariage Election Yong meÌ„ Note The maner of the old mariages The coÌ„moÌ„ people A good wife A good wyfe An euyll wyfe Note Proue xix Eccles. xxvi The nature of man The nature of women ConstaÌ„te women Catharine quene of England Man Sa. viij Note i. Cor. xiij The loquacitie of wemen Cleanlinesse The end of matrimony Note The childe Ephori Note ye yong men Loue. True loue where The thin ges of y t soule and body How the affections maye be knowen Makers of lawes CoÌ„panye MaydeÌ„s The lyfe that is paste Pietie How the worde of god shuld be read Fastyng Dissimulation i. Co. ix Unchasle women Proue xviij What thynges are to be considred in hym y e wyll be maryed Gen. vi Gen. vi A ryche wyfe A craftye wyfe The pore maÌ„s wife Pryde Note ye wemen A liberall woman Liberalitye Note A niggarde An eloqueÌ„t wife Note thys Is it not so Marcus Caro. Note'y e women Pittacus answere Note Deformite The labo rers wife The yeares of ma riage Note thlo custome 1. Cor. 〈◊〉 Luc. ix Tiberius As 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 How notable a thing it is to mary a poore woman Gen. 〈◊〉 Prou. xvij â—arens is a noble citie of Calabria Tyme ExcelleÌ„te good conÌ„sell 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Sergius Gal ba Matrimony The nature of a palme tree 〈◊〉 Eph. v. Note He xiij Eph. v. Gen. ij The law of loue is matrimony Gene. 〈◊〉 Note Gene. ij Cap. v. 1. Cor. iij. Ephe. v Loue geneth courage Note this Eph. v. ii co ij Mat. v. Psalm xliiij Eph. v. A frende Gene. ij Vertue Note this ye women By as precepte The beginninge of matrimoniall loue 〈◊〉 loues True hus bandes Gene. ij iij. Loue reuerence What loue is Ueneration Maiestre Fayth Note â—ayth i. pe v. Note A sharpe wyfe 〈◊〉 O fortunate hoâ—â—se Sulpitia Beautye Riches Eloquice Kinred How no bilitie glorye is gotten Prou. xvij Whether it be necessarye that a wo man be â—erned Is it not so Learned women are better then vnlearned Howe greatlye learninge doth helpe man It is the maÌ„s part to teache the woman i. Cor. xiiij The husbaÌ„d must teach the wyfe What thinges women shoulde learne What bo kes womeÌ„ shuld reade Note What 〈◊〉 tes 〈◊〉 shuld read Courtlye doctrine Scilence is conuenient and mete for women The husbandes ex ample Note Two necessarye thinges Themistocles The names of â—â—ble womeÌ„ Familier examples Familier coÌ„munication â—eneration Phil. 〈◊〉 as some do expouÌ„d it i. pe iij. Auoyde curiosite Exo. 〈◊〉 The bondage of Egypte Uncleane iÌ„portes playes ReligioÌ„s of chastisye Shamefastnes Luc. i. Thecause of betrothemeÌ„tes Genesis xxix Hc. xiij i. th iiij Ephe. v Tob. vi â—eastes are lesse Auxnrious then men 〈◊〉 co vij 〈◊〉 Rom. 〈◊〉 Marryed mens sola ces plea sures i. co vij 〈◊〉 co vij Fastyng Prayer Mat. vi Luce. xviij i. co vij Carnall copulatioÌ„ 〈◊〉 Note i. co vij The frutes of a well instructed woman True societie Nothing can be coÌ„pared to a frende CoÌ„mitte thy secretes tohim that is louinge and wise 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Why we shuld not shew our secretes to womeÌ„ 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Ec ix Policides A fable of a certayne wulfe A noble sayinge The kno wledge of y t lawe of God Gene. i. Gen. ii The authoritie of the man and wife Diuers countrics diuers maners The thin ges geuen by nature to man woman The wife hath the rule of the Kitchen Fortune Playe To goe forth 〈◊〉 tim v i. Ti. v. The custome of flanders Psalm xvij Auoyde euill com pany Note i. co xv Note yongmen Fame Eubolus Disclose not the secretes of matrimonye pro. xiij Prayse not thy wyfe to muche Mat. vi Gen. iij O how necessary were he in these our dayes Note ye women The dauÌ„ gers that come of gaye appa rel And is it not so nowe ☞ Example and emulation i. co 〈◊〉 A womaÌ„s true ornamentes and apparell The com modity of simple aâ—â—ye The duetie of a christen man Luc. 〈◊〉 Note Gelosye A notable historye The tres passes of matrimo nye mat xix The miserable estate of women Ro. xv 〈◊〉 Auâ—thâ—â—â—tie Approued repre hention Col. iij. Mat. v. Eph. v. Eph. v. Reason Note ye husbandes Iob. 〈◊〉 Tob. 〈◊〉 Ephe. v Meleagers loue towardes hys wyfe Masuissa kinge of Numidiâ— Malice The propertie of the mynt The causes why the husbaÌ„d shuld loue hys wyfe The husbaÌ„d must loue hys wyues kinsfolk ChauÌ„ces Luc. vi 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Note Leon-tinus Crates Note i. Re. i. The merites of this life Gc. xxi Math. xxij The remeÌ„brauÌ„ce of y e wife Note ye husbaÌ„ndes A fond 〈◊〉 quest of many hus bandes
great and so excellente a beatitude for them and for all other prepared For they perceaued and sawe that all such thinges as by humayne arte wisdome watre or 〈◊〉 myght be obtayned and gotten and all suche thynges as were spoken of to the Philosophers scoles were 〈◊〉 offered and geuen as it were in to their handes more spededely and more purely then euer before whereof there arose an incredible heate and feruentnes to folowe Christ his bloude beyng as yet euen hoate the whiche in such wise maner kindled their brestes whome he touched y e the kinges princes of the gentiles stode as they had beue amased the capitaynes of great hostes w t such as bylong expe rience vse of thynges were sage and wise of whome in al graue and weyghty matters men asked counsell al other learned men the which being set in y t hyght of all humayne thinges and nexte vnto god al other beynge vnder them perceaued y t all thynges with greate myght powre were ouercomed by christen men Euery man marueiled from whence such force strength shulde come wherewyth so many thousand hartes with one accorde shulde desyre and seke for one thinge shuld confesse one Christe shuld speake one thynge and obtayne and come to one ende They cared nether for mony nor yet for their lyues they sought for no superioritie they refused theyr owne howses families parentes kynsfolke yea and theyr owne wyues that nothyng myght let or hinder theyre course on flacke the victory ouer vice and the vnhard reward of vertue Nor they cared not for any impedi mentes or caredge y t doubted not to obtayne by this victori suche infinite rewardes and goodes Nor they had no leasure in such celeritie of age to think vpoÌ„ any other thing beynge thus occupyed and reuished wyth thys hyghe thought and cogitation But this heat of pietie flowing vn to vs from Christ as it were from some excellent fontaine is as careful for other as it is sure certayne of it selfe and is beautified adorned with singuler prudency wisdom But the more that this heate is kindled the more this wisdome doth shewe it selfe for gettinge of it selfe doth profite on her yf that any thynge may be lacking in such ferueÌ„t and aboundant charitie But surely she hath situate and set her selfe in a stedfalte and a sure place and beynge full of hope crieth oute who shall separate vs from the charitie of Christe So then he laboreth for other and not for him selfe he sayeth not he lyueth but not he nowe but Christe lyueth in him And so he fulfilleth the commaundementes of Christ that liueth in him and obeyeth vnto his will to ayde and prouide for those that Christe woulde it shuld be prouided for that is for his flocke for the which he hathe not spared to offer vp his owne life And therefore when these pietifull maisters and coadiutors of Christe do remember what the Lorde aunswered when he was demaunded of wiues y t some did chasten them selues for the kingdome of heauen sake that none other coulde do y t but only they vnto whome the father of heauen gaue it Paule leste that anye manne through an vnwyse feruentnesse of folowynge or couetyng that God hath not geueÌ„ him shuld vnwysely fall into satans secret snares y e which he layeth at y e fete of those y e hast theÌ„ to y e pâ—rfection of life doth exhort theÌ„ wisely to take hede to prepare most effectuous remedy for y t wherein is most yeoperdie to fortifie y e part most stroÌ„gly where vn to they do perceaue their ene my most valiantly and moste stronglye to approche And yet the selfesame Paule the which with his ensample pro uoketh vs esteminge al other thinges as vile beynge bare and crucified to folowe bare Christ and crucified geueth this counsell y t better it were to marye then to burne leste any man should disturbe thorough iniury any other maÌ„s peace or quietnes or defyle him selfe with filthy thoughtes or dedes And therefore herbes and rootes are vsed to be geueÌ„ vnto some as meat to other some as a medicine so is matrimonye the whiche at the beginning was inuented of god for the procreatioÌ„ of children is now vnto the luxurious and incontinente persoÌ„ as a remedy of so great an euil Let vs therfore take this for a very fondation and grounde y t matrimonye is a lawful contunction of one maÌ„ and one wife to liue in coÌ„munion of lyfe together all the dayes of their liues ¶ Of the election choyse of a wyfe OR euer I doo speake of the choise of a wife I muste remoue from y t mind of those which I do instruct teache that furye wherewith they choose not their wiues but inuade theÌ„ they marye them not but rauishe them and deceaue theÌ„ coÌ„trarye to theyr willes do take them Yf the woman were a certayn kynd of merchaundise peraduenture it shuld not seme so vnseÌ„bly by all maner of meanes subteltie to obtayne her for howe soeuer she were obtayned she woulde serue to that vse but conslderyng y t nowe she shalbe his felow for euer yf she loue him not be she neuer so fayre nor neuer so bur dened with riches she shalbe continually molestious And what a madnes were it to be ginne suche a misterye of loue w t hatred Loue is gotteÌ„ by loue by honestie fidelitie not by violence For a tune peraduenture thou mayst en ioye her goodes her beautie her pareÌ„tage kinred but y u shalt neuer enioy thy wyfe Those thinges are best whiche are most coÌ„formable vnto nature AdaÌ„ did not rauish Eue but receaued her deliuered vnto him by god y e father hegaue her not vnto him per force but y t they shuld mutual ly loue one another he drue y e one out of y e other gaue theÌ„ like nature fashion to thintent that they or euer they were maryed shoulde seme and appeare to be one thyng and not two The iudgemeÌ„t of the mynde is the gouernoure of mans lyfe the whiche yf it go not before all our dedes we shall slyde and fall into such greate yeoperdies as we do le daylye chaunce happen amonge men They do wel consider what thinge they should eate or drincke but whome they do call vnto their frendship coÌ„munion of life the which are much more hurtefull or profitable then meat they care not So they do loue preposterouslye or euer they know or iudge what they do loue the which error dothe brynge vnto the lyfe of man more euil more misfortune then can be spokeÌ„ wherby so many and great frendeshippes through cruel dissenti on are chaunged loue most vituperiously shaÌ„fully broken the whiche suche men as by nature and custome could not long endure and coÌ„tinue inloue had craftely begon vnwisely They shuld first by nature and with reason haue
iudged and then embraced y t thinge with loue or with hatred auoyded the same the whiche yf man ought to do in choosynge of frendes howe much more diligently ought it to be done in the choyse of a wife the principal of al amitie and frendshippe whose name among al other in beneuolēce and loue is most dearest Epictetus a philosopher of y e secte of Stoickes doth saye that euery thing hath his eare so that yf thou take holde there at thou mayst vse it most hādsomely cōmodiously True wisdome is to knowe the nature of euery thinge and the vse therof Yf thou whē thou takest a wife wouldest thynk vpon thy children and howe thou mayeste liue with thy wife thou canste not lightlye fayle in the choyse of her the whiche as Zcnophon dothe write in his Economica maketh very much for the felicitie or misery of mā For how much y e more a thinge is vnited knit vnto man so much the more it may helpe him yf it be good or hynder him yf it be euill Those dāmages hurtes which are inwardly in y e body are worse thē those which are without those of y e soule then those of y e body likewise menne do iudge of those thinges which are called good But peraduēture it shall appeare vnto some that these thinges are not vniuersally true for vnto some the losse of their goodes is more thē y e losse of their helth But this thing doeth not arise or happen of the treasure or moneye it selfe but because they perswade vnto them selues y t to loose theyr treasure is a thing intolerable therfore the goodes are not of more estimation then is helth but thaffection doth rule in thys thing And therfore it semeth lesse to some to be dreuen out of his kingdom then to other some to loose a small portion of his patrimony Some wil reuēge a word most cruelly and some other wel buffeted and beaten wil not reuēge it at al. All these thinges do pro cede come of y e soule y e whiche as most inwardly loyned knit vnto man hath more power in him then the bodye yea as Plato thinketh then man him selfe If it be then of so great importaunce what maner of frende thou haue to liue cōmodiously or ineōmodi ously withal the whiche shall none otherwise dwell nor be in the selfe same chāber bed nor house with the but that thou mayest shake him of at thy pleasure how much more then oughteste thou to take hede when thou choosest thee a wife the which must cōtinually be conuersaunt with the at thy table in thy chamber in bed in thy secretes and finally in thy heart and breste If thou go from home thou dost cōmit thy house thy fami lie thy goodes and thy chyldren of all other thinges the most pleasaunt vnto her she is the last that leaueth the at thy departing the first that receaueth thee at thy returnynge thou departest frō her with swete embracementes kisses and with swete kysses and embracemētes she receaueth thee vnto her thou disclosest thy ioye and heauines It is an heauenlye lyfe to be conuersaunte in companye with those that a man delyteth in and loueth But it is a calamitie infernal to be streyghted to se those thinges y t a man doth hate or to be in cōpanye with those that a man woulde not be withall and yet can not be separated nor depart from them Of this co meth as we do see in dinerse mariages so greate ruine so facinorous and filthy dedes maymes murders committed by such desperate per sons as they are loth to kepe yet can not lawfully refuse nor leaue thē Therfore in ma riage there are two wayes y e one leadeth a mā to miserye the other to felicitie In the beginning of these thou must diligently deliberate cōsult with thy selfe as Prodigus the Sophist doth saye in the first booke of Zeniphons cōmentaris y t he caused Hercules to take auysmēt whether he shuld folow vice or vertue And in asmuche as it is a matter of great weyght importaūce let it not be greuous vnto y t reader to reade it for it shall not greue me to declare open the thing more copiously clerely And seing y t electiō or choyse is nothinge els but to take a thing mete cōuenient to the ende it is prepared for therfore euery one y t must choose ought to regard the end know what thinge is cōuenient for it It is nede ful also y t he be prudente and wise for els he cānot dispose it nor perceaue what is cōmo dious mete for y t end Nor wisdom is not obtayned nor gottē but by the knowledge vse experiēce of thinges not by folowing of y e affectiōs the which do diminish mans iudgemēt Ignoraūce the troublesōnes of the mind is y e very cause y t yongmen iudge not thinges so wel as old mē do they knowe not the businesse of mans lyfe and beyng but new and rawe in al thinges they are sone deceaued stird with affections theyr mindes by so obfuscate and cloudye that they can not see what is right nor how thinges ought to be done and ordred Therfore the yonge mā shuld leaue the care of this electiō to his parentes y t whiche haue better iudgement are more free from the agitations and motions of al affections then they are And inasmuche as they do loue their childrē excedingly they wold that their children shoulde be none otherwise coūseled thē thēselues for the father as it nath bene sundry times by manye examples declared doth in a maner loue his childe more then he loueth hym selfe The yonge man muste take hede that folowyng the light iudgement of his owne affection mind he chaunge not a short delectation plea sure into a continuall repentaūce We do learne by great continuall vse experience of thinges y t the secrete contractes of matrimonye made betwene those that be yong are seldom fortunate lucky and feawe to be vnlucky that are made and stablished by their frendes and parentes Al the old mariages of the Ie wes and gentiles were made after this forme and maner The parētes by theyr owne aucthoritye did intreate and finishe vp the matter among them selues nor it was not lawful for their childrē to dissent or to go backe frō y e thing y t their parentes had accōplished and done And yet they are to be admonished to haue an eye and a diligent regard 〈◊〉 marying of their children y t it may be to their great qui etnes and that they asmuch as may be possible may lyue in iocunditye and pleasure They muste not haue before their eyes these vayne foolishe honours nor the enuious and vnsure power nor y e vnquiete factions nor riches the which vnto olde men are wont to be moste
thee the more bitterly hate thee howe muche her first husband then thou dyd more commodiously and gently vse her But she y t shal come laden to the w t childrē shal rob thee gather to enriche her owne withall She wyll not loue thy chyldren nor yet equallye those which are common betwene you but shal haue compassion vpō the fatherles being destitute of al fatherlye helpe and com forte In her that was corrupte men must consider the lyfe that is paste for of these ther are two periculous kindes for thou shalte heardlye perswade her that was common or her that hathe haunted the companye of greate men or her the whiche they haue loued to be continente for it would be heard for her that was wonte and accustomed to be a maistres ouer great men to serue him that is so farre vnder those which wer her seruātes And how soeuer she shal find the she wil not beleue that al other wold haue ben as thou art but shal lament that so vnluckedly she came was maried vnto the. I wold not counsel y t to mary her w t whome thou hast bene in amors withal whom thou flatterdest whome thou didst serue whom thou calledst thy hart thy life thy maistres thy light thy eyes w t other suche wordes as foolishe loue doth perswade vsinge impietie agaynst god which is y t ende of al desire goodnes Thys submission is shoulde be the cause y t she doth not regard y t but disdayneth to serue thee whose ladye she was as she estemed whō she foūd more obedient vnto her euen with y t peril daunger of life thē a ny other slaue y t was bought for monie Thus it appeareth it is not conuenient y e the seruaunt should rule y e maistres for after y t loue hatred reuerence contempt feare hath once occupied the mind of mā they leaue certayne cōtinuall markes the which y e Grekes call Hexis the Latins Habitus Great noble men do alwayes honour their pedagoges maisters that for the reuēce they bare thē of youth do feare them notwithstan ding they be their subiectes haue the aucthoritie power in their hand bothe of life and deathe And the prouerbe doth saye that whoso marieth for loue dothe liue in sorow I wold y t the flame whiche was kindled did burne before they were married after they were married waxed cold agayne might be renued perpetual pure liuelye Thou seeste nowe howe great prudency wisdome is necessary to discerne iudge these thinges and how necessary it is to counsel with him whose motions of the minde are quiete that they begile thee not Let no man trust to obtayne a wife y t shal haue no incommoditie nor faute but yet the fewer y t she hath shall be in stede place of her mani fold great vertues But he y t is wise wil learne take cō sel by such thinges as be present And forasmuch as those thinges which be meane are almost infinite there cā be no vniuersall forme nor rule genen of them therfore wisdō is present at hand the which is not geuen but with preceptes ayded holpen to admonish men of y e same I haue as for an example writtē the thinges matters aforesaid In the deliberation of matrimony this must be inuiolably obserued y t we folow not the iudgement of oure owne senses nor eyes the whiche are sone rauished and deceaued with beautie nor of the eares the which take pleasure in elo quence nor of the motions of the mynde wherewith men are ledde other to kinred or els to moneye or riches the whiche all throughe their instabilitye aboundaunce or sacietye do brynge wyth them swyfte sodaine repentance And therefore al thinges are to be reuoked called to that supreme and exact iudgemēt of the mind Thou shalt take hede that on thy part the wo man nother in body nor in sub stāce be not deceaued for thou shalt neuer vse her cōinodiously and as thou wouldest thy selfe whome thou fraudulent ly deceytfully diddest intice wind vnto thee for natural ly we hate him as an enemy y t doth begile vs nor nothynge doth displease a manne more then to lacke the thinge he loked for It were better to disclose vnto her thy vices infirmities the mediocrity and meanes of thy goodes substance with the perill of y e losse of her then to obtayne her w t fraude sure discord Sergius Galba his father y t was Empe rour playde as it is written the parte of a wise of an honest man for when Liuia Occel la that beautifull riche woman was in loue with him he put of his clothes secretlye did shew her that he was bro ken backte the which simple gene rositie did so contente please her that she regarded not the blemishe of his bodye but loued and honoured him more thē euer she did before Many men are wont to saye y t they will rule their wiues whatsoeuer they be or howsoeuer they came by thē and that it is in the hande and power of the husband what and of what conditions she shall be Certes a greate parte of this doth rest lye in the husband so that he as he oughte to do do vnderstand that ma trimonye is the supreme and most excellent part of all amitie and that it farre differreth from tiranny the which doth compell men to obeye Truly it compelleth the bodye but not the will in the whiche all loue and amitie do the onelye consist the which yf it be drawen dothe resiste and bowe lyke a palme tree as naturall Philosophers do wryte to the contrarye parte Nor thou shalte not beleue that there canne be anye maryage or concorde where they agree not in wyil and minde the whyche twoo are the beginning seate of all amitie frendship And they that do auaunce thinke thē selues able to rule their wiues by that time they haue proceded and gone a litle further they shall feele perceaue thē selues begiled find y t thyng to be most hard intractable the whiche to be done they estemed most light and easye Some there be y t through euyll and roughe handelynge and in threatenynge of their wiues haue them not as wiues but as seruauntes And yet surelye they are but very fooles that iudge matri mony to be a dominion And such as woulde be feared do afterwardes lamente complayne that they find no loue in them whose loue amite through their owne importu nitie thei turned into hatred And at y e beginnynge glorifiing craking thus cruelly to be their wiues maisters thei purchase vnto them selues a most miserable alamentble life in time to come beinge nowe y t all loue pleasure is caste a side enuironed with feare suspition hatred so row Truly yf a man as nature
reason holy scripture do saye vnto vs be the head of the woman and Christ the father there ought to be betwene them such societe felowship as is betwene y e father and the sonne and not suche as is betwene the maister and the seruaunt ¶ Of the accesse and goynge vnto Mariage AFter y t thou hast de termined with thy self to marry hast done all dilygence therto required thou muste desire of God good prosperous successe in whose hand power it is to gene it doutles wil geue it most abūdantly if thou aboue al other thin ges haue an hope a respect vnto him For yf thou after y e thou hast satisfied thine appetite resort vnto him desiring him y t thou mayst obtayn the thing that thou most desirest it shuld apeare y t thou wouldest make hym a minister of thy voluptuous desieres and pleasures and so doynge thy vowes prayers should appere most manifest blasphemy A man should not come vnto mariage as vnto a prophane thinge with a solute and an vncareful mynde but with a quiet a wel pourged mynd as to a thinge most sacrate holye Nor matrimony doth not onely consiste in the coniunction of the body nor yet in daunsyng nor bancketing procedynge broughte vnto vs with many other thinges from the gentiles when that it shoulde rather beseme vs most studiously to pray vnto almyghty God that so wayghtye a thyng as matrimonye is myghte haue good and prosperous successe Matrimonie as a thing sanctified of God the which willeth the matrimonial embracemētes to be chaste the bed to be vndefiled and their pro ginie vnbespotted And it is after the mind of S. Paule a signe of that great mistery wherwith Christ doeth indisolubly vnite hym self vnto y t church Therfore thou ough test as much as shal lye in the to lift vp thy mind and to remembre howe great howe worthy an ymage thou doest represent and that thy wife is vnto thee as the churche and thou vnto her as Christ And therefore thou shouldest shewe thy selfe vnto her as Christ shewed him self vnto his churche The charite and loue of Christe vnto the churche is incredible and thy loue towardes thy wyfe ought to be most effectuous Societe and to liue together is the most effectuous and su rest knot to knitre and ioyne amitie and loue amonge men and all other beastes What greater societie or companye can there be then is betwene a man and his wyfe Whose house whose chambre whose bed is cōmon their chyldren are common and they theim selues partakers of al good euyl successe and fortune the which societie and felowshyp wer sufficiēt to styre and pro uoke him that loueth not his wyfe to loue and beneuolence And what companye or loue shall a manne loke to haue of him that loueth not his wyfe Ther are y t in loue and amite loke for gaine as y t vile Epicures do vnworthy to be beloued menne whiche loue them selues not their frēdes And if we haue a respecte vnto commoditie and profite there is nothing that geueth so muche as doeth a wyfe no not horses oxen fermers nor proctours For a mans wyfe is the felowe and conforter of all cares thoughtes and doeth moore diligent and good seruice then other mayde or seruaunt the which do serue men for feare or els for wages but thy wif is led onely by loue therefore she doth euery thing bet ter then all other And God doth declare it saying let vs make Adam a helper lik vnto him selfe by the helper is signified the vtilitie and profite of the seruice by the similitude likenes is signified loue For a seruaūt and he that is hired are far vnlike y e maister and are taken wel nyghe for no men A seruaunt in the stede and place of an horse or of an oxe y e whiche must be betē inforsed to their work doeth serue his maister A hired seruaūte is in y e place of an hired horse for whē y e hier is payed y e socitie felowship dissolueth The child is part of y e father through a natural pitie thei loue eche other but yet y e wife is more annexed ioyned to her husband The father doth labour and taketh paine for his childrē but sildome the children for theyr fathers and often tymes thei are sent to inhabite dwel in other mens houses wherby in a maner it appeareth that their strayte faste societe doth dissolue break But the wife cleane contrary doth incontinently take paines for her husband nor may as long as she liueth nother chaūge house nor bed If com moditie profit be loked for what cōmoditie excelleth this yf y u loue thy wife y u shalt liue most pleasantly yf y u loue her not most miserablye wretchedly For ther is nohing so sharpe nor so bitter as to hate the thing y t doth fauor loue the nor nothing more happy as to loue him that hateth y e. What doth other mens bene uolence amitie helpe or cōfort me yf inwardlye I consume my selfe with hatred or what doth other mens enuye hatred hurte me when my mind is occupied with swete pleasaunt loue The fountayne of felicitie miserye is inwardly for outward thinges do litle or nothing to the iocunditie or miserye of mans life Some there be that hate aungels the whiche that notwithstandinge are throughe loue most happy fortunate Some other loue Sathan y e which through enuy and hatred are moste vnfortunate wretched How shal it be possible then that thou whiche doste loue shalt not be loued the prouerbe being true and saying Loue that thou maist be loued Thou shalte then leade a celestiall a heauenly life when there is such correspondente mutuall loue betwene you as there is amōg the aungels and those blessed foules whiche haue left theyr dodies and are clothed with the diuine and godly lyghte The lawe of matrimony and nature whiche Idam or God rather by Adā did pronunce doth declare how greate the loue of mariage should be for when Eue after that swete slumber was broughte vnto him to be his wife companiō behold quod Adā this bone is of my bones and this flesh of my fleshe for this shal man for sake father and mother cleue vnto his wife and they shal be two in one fleshe This is the summe and ende of all loue amitie to be so ioyned with the thing that thou dost loue that thou mayst become one thing with it The Poetes declare that Vulcanus the God of smithes founde two together the whiche shewed one to another great tokens of loue and taking a pleasure in this their charitie loue a thing vnto god most acceptable he asked them whether there were any thing where in he mighte do thē pleasure O Vulcane qd they we desire y t w tthose thi diuine
instrumeÌ„ts wouldeste breake vs in peaces cast vs newe agayne and make of vs two but one This is the ende of al our desires for this doth loue study shal obtayne that it desireth yf it may bring y t thynge to passe the whiche at lengthe shal be in that heauenlye loue and charitie when we being spoyled of this fleshe of sinne and renued by Christe shalbe made one thing with God among our selues as Christe dothe teache vs. What other thinge is it y t man must leaue father mother for and cleue vnto his wife but only y t charity ouercometh al loue yea y t also which doth elaspe the fa ther the childe together y t oughte to be mooste greatest beyng a man taught onlye by nature doth saye as Homere writeth that Troy in time to come shuld be destroyed by y t Grekes and that he doth not care nor sorowe so muche for him selfe his father his mother or for his brethren as he soroweth for his dearly beloued wife The stoute manly mind of man hath continually his reward for why the flame pearseth the womans hearte the whiche loueth her husband most feruently And so dyd Andromica loue Hector aboue al other ZenophoÌ„ doth shewe that when Tygraue the king of Armenias sonne hys wife were Cyrus prisoners he promised to redeme her with his owne life And afterwardes wheÌ„ they asked her what she thought of Cyrus she sayd y t she neuer behelde nor sawe him And when her husband sayd what thinge haste thou sene then yf thou neuer didste see him she aunswered what thing shuld I beholde or see but him only y t sayd he wolde redeme me out of seruitute bondage with his owne life so greatly the loue of her husband had inflamed her But what maner of loue should be in matrimony with what other preceptes shoulde it be fashyoned then with those y t whyche the Lorde our God dothe geue by hys Apostle Paule in the Epystle to the Ephesians where he sayeth That manne is the heade of the woman as Christe is the heade of the churche and god the heade of Christ. He propo neth no vile thing nor of erth lye wisdome that dothe corrupt and is foolishnes before God and oftentimes in thys world doth decaye yet doth eleuate and extoll it selfe to the similitude and ymage of the eternall wisedome by the which the almightie god created made the world And that heade of the churche said so seriouslye that he was the saluation of his bodye that he doubted not to giue hym selfe for it The Apostle calleth vpon hys to ensue and folowe thys loue that is that as CHRISTE hathe sprynckled and shedde his bloud to saue his churche so shuldest thou not feare nor that for thine or thy wifes affections but for the helth and salute of her soule to die most stronglye What thinge can make the coragious yf loue make the not the whiche geueth courage audacitie to hartes hares other timerous and fearfull beastes In this worde salute is comprised life helth vertue honestye But as for riches ornamentes delitiousnesse vayne glory voluptuousnes are ta ken for foolishnes He hym self despised al these thinges taught his that they shuld come vnto him yf they lightly regarded them Christ dyd not to enriche his churche w t golde and siluer or that it shoulde be of solace or pleasure but he was crucified to sanctifie his churche with wa ter by y e worde that it myght be glorious withoute anye wrynkle or sporte holye and faulteles and so oughte men to loue their wyues as their owne bodyes The Lord doeth dayly sanctifie the church by hys death that being purged with the mooste purest bloude of her spouse she may be adourned with all vertue and by puttynge awaye olde Adam with all his deedes she maye be clothed wyth Christe her spouse the which was made of God after the similitude and lykenes of the first Adam I say the heauenly not after the ymage of the earthly There appeare outwardly suche wonderful and excelleÌ„t vertues wherof the glorye of the churche doeth aryse that by them they may come to the fountayne of all goodnes that do meruaile at those sprynges and doth honour them And therfore we are commaunded to be in eue ry place a good odour and sauour but namelye vnto the lord And it is the wyl of our maister that oure good workes shoulde be knowen to all men to the intent our heauen lye father of whom we receyued theÌ„ might be glorified The quene did stand vpoÌ„ the right hand of her spouse in a vesture of golde wrought aboute w t diuers colours but yet her glory was not in her apparel nor in those thinges which meÌ„ do behold se but in those y t she seeth in sprite that her spouse doth approue for whose loue she doeth adourne apparel her self who theÌ„ can esteme matrimony to be vile consideringe it is y t ymage of so high and so diuine thinges And therfore y e womaÌ„s life vertue good name fame oughte to be vnto her husband more derer then his own life as christ put his own life to great incredible paines tormeÌ„tes to saue saÌ„ctifie to honor his church Nor y u must not behold how fayre of what kinred how rich or of what healthe she is of nor yet howe greatlye she doeth loue thee for whatsoeuer she be y e thou haste maried thou must none other wyse nor with no lesse affection loue her then Christ loued his churche the whiche refused not to suffer great paynes for the wicked and his enemies drawynge them vnto him as membres vnto the head to furnish and to make vp his churche with al he doeth dayly teache her sustayneth clarifieth mundifieth and with greate pacience gentlenes doeth chasten her and whatsoeuer she be he embraseth her w t great loue although she be vnkind and coldely doth recompence his feruent loue and charite to her wardes She is thy wyfe and ye bothe are nowe but one thing therfore thou oughtest to loue her as thy selfe It is written that Epaminudas enemies appoynted him a certayne vile offâ—ce the whiche he accepted moste beninglye and thankesully sayinge that he woulde so vse it that in tyme to come it shulde be reputed amonge the people a very honest office and so he dyd Could this man in so great a dissention of the citie and amonge so manye enuious personnes and enemies cause a vile office to be had in estimation and canst not thou euen of thy selfe brynge to passe that thou dâ—…pise not thyne owne fleashe yeathy selfe when that â—â—ule doeth saye he that loueth him selfe loueth his wif. Nor ther was neuer man y t hated his owne flesh but doth norish cherish it as the lord doth cherish his church Aristotle folowing the Pithagorians doth define a freÌ„d that
the ymage similitude of his maker But when he perceaued that it was not cōuenient nor mete y t he should liue alone a helpe like vnto him selfe was geuen him and taken euen oute of hys owne side insomuche that Adam is to Eue as the father is vnto his sonne And it was said to Eue thou shalte be vnder the power of man he shall rule thee Nor it is not thus only in man but in al kindes sortes of beastes y t the female is vnder the power dominion of the male and therefore the male is more stronger bothe in mind bodye then the female And the instrumentes to rule withall are more excellente and more perfecte in manne then in womanne as the sharpenes of witte diligence wisedome strength audacitie generositie and y t excellencie of the minde And therfore y t Romaynes folowing nature did neuer take the whole auctoritie of man from women Liuius vsinge y e wordes of Cato dothe saye thus Our forefathers would not that women shoulde do anye thing without the auctoritye of man submittinge them selues to their fathers to theyr brothers to their husbandes Matrimonye is called a coniunction and a cōparison but yet they are not like as Martial doth saye merelye except the woman be vnlike the man O Sexte sayth Martial let the woman be vnder her husband and so they shalbe lyke It is sufficient y t the husband loue his wife with a sightiye loue but the wife is bounde vnto her husband in two thin ges that is to loue him to do him reuerence the whiche affections can not be constray ned but yet they maye be obned of her by gentlenes But this thing can not be done w t woordes but as he sayeth Marke yf thou wilt be loued loue They which are learned do think that this thing doth not happen by chaūce medle but by the secrete artifice of the world The Philosopher Plato doth say that the whole worlde is so compacte and bounde together by God the artificer as it were with certayne knottes for yf thou drawe or take one of them the other by a certayne secrete coniunction as it were the lynckes of a cheyne do folowe but yet he sayeth that those thinges which are like most cōformable one to the other are most speciallye ioyned together that beneuolence doth grow of the similitude likenes of nature and custome and that they which loue are loued agayne And this loue must be pure and sin cere or elles it shall haue no strength nor none effect Fire paynted vpon a wal doth not burne nor a false adamante draweth no yron Many men do maruayl why they are not loued seinge they do shewe so many tokēs signes of loue The signes tokens of loue are not loue therefore they cause not the effecte of loue but prouoke cause hatred when it is perceaued y t they loued not but fained so many tokens and diuerse signes of loue Loue also doth growe of the opinion of honestie for as Cicero dothe saye there is nothinge more amiable nor y t draweth the minde of manne more to loue then vertue All loue is a certayn affection to y t thing that is goodly fayre there is nothing more goodly then vertue the which yf a man might behold see with his bodely eyes would stirre vp great loue vnto it self but it is seene with the inwarde eye of the mind and draweth those that beholdeth it to beneuolence to embrace and loue it The opinion of excellencie the whiche is situate set other in the power of the body or of y u soule doth bring forth ingender veneration and reuerence Strength riches frendes clientes seruauntes ministers subiectes fauour grace and dignitie be longe vnto the bodye In the soule are iudgement wisdom the sharpenes of witte sagacitie watche fortitude audacitie wherby men do take vpon them great actes enterprises Of these thinges doth maiestie procede arise by the which al thinges vpon earthe are ruled gouerned And with this kinges and magistrates gouerne and defende great nations and king domes and throughe thys greate multitudes and number of people do obeye vnto the will of one alone wyth this captaynes Emperors do conducte whether soeuer they wil greate companies hostes of menne Of this the mayster hathe neade for hys seruaunte the father for hys sonne and the husbande for hys wife to thende she maye loue and obeye hym that is wise for prudeneye and wisdome wythoute honestie and goodnesse is formidable and goodnes without wisdom is loued but not obeied In this maiestie doth consist the force strength of iustice both to re ward to punishe It shalbe sufficiēt for an husbād to haue of these thinges so muche as shal suffice to rule his wife his family withall Other mē haue nede of power also of maiestie to rule a citie in the which are so manye houses housholdes The foundation of al thinges is fayth y e which is most certaynly obtayned gotten by science The nexte vnto fayth is to be hadde in good estimation Marcus Cato as Salust doeth write dyd laboure rather to be good then to appeare good therfore the lesse he sought for glo rye the more he obtayned it Those opinions are wont to be most surest and fast y t which do occupye the yong tender minde as we do see by those thinges that children do first learne and commende to memorye Nor wolle doth neuer loose hys firste coloure nor that clothe the which as it is commonlye spoken is died in wolle And therfore we ought not only to labour and studye to brynge in good affections but we muste so dispose and order the whole state of oure lyfe that it maye be the more easie to be borne and throughe conuersation waxe more swete and pleasaunte Thou muste also consider thyne owne wytte and qualities and lykewyse thy wyues and thy ryches and substaunce and prouide that it maye prosper not onely for the tyme and state presente but also for the tyme that is to come And thus considerynge the casualties of man thou muste dispose the thyng in suche wyse that not great chaūge or chaūce mai trouble the soft delitate mind of the woman notwithstandynge that chaunces are infinite that no prouision can be foūd to withstande them and that many of them must be referd vnto God the whiche taketh care for vs al wuld that we shoulde not care for the thinges that are to come the whi che pertayne to hym onelye nor no man can make prouision agaynst them But now to retourne to oure purpose when thou goest a wowyng thou muste beware and take heede that thou whether the woman be promysed the or nowe brought home vnto the geue not thy self to those vnmete voluptuous loue lustes by the whiche men are compelled to sai to do
many thinges which are filthy and childish And of this loue the prouerbe doth saye that it is scarcely graunted to God to loue to be wise loue wine are in thy power or euer thou drinke but after y t thou haste dronken y u shalte be their subiect seruaunte And of this she shal iudge the to be vaine light vnapt and folishe Nor thou canst not kepe thy maiestie in such filthy loue for Ouide doth say that maiesty loue doeth not agree nor remain nor tary not in one place But y e poet doth speake of this erthly and blind loue for cordiall and wyse loue doeth not diminishe maiestye Nor a woman can not suffer nor take hym for her maister that was some tyme her seruaunt And the weaker a wo man is in mynde the more she desyreth to be in power and yf she had once domination and rule she taketh it as an iniurie yf she rule not styl Nor there is no rule moore violente or moore greuous then theirs that by al reason ought to be subiectes as the rule of seruauntes artificers children and women But as we woulde that the man whē he loueth shoulde remember his maiestye so we woulde that when he ruleth he forget not hys loue nor to temper it with maiestye And when he doth thinke him selfe to be the head and the soule and the woman as it wer the fleshe the bodye He oughte in lyke manner to remembre that she is hys felow compa nion of his goods labours and that their children be cōmon betwene theym bone of bones and fleshe of the fleshe of man And thus ther shalbe in wedlocke a certayne swete and pleasaunt conuersation withoute the whiche it is no maryage but a prysone a hatred a perpetual torment of the mynde Let thy wyfe per ceyue and knowe that for the good opinion that thou haste of her y t doest loue her simply and faythfullye and not for anye vtilite or pleasure For who so doeth not perceyue that he is beloued for hys owne sake wyl not lightly do the same to another for the thynge that is loued loueth agayn If money or nobilitie coulde perceyue and vnderstande that they were beloued they woulde yf they had anye felynge at all of loue requite it with loue but when the soule is loued inasmuche as it maye loue it geueth loue for loue and loueth agayne The Breaker of horsses that doeth vse to ride and to pace theym doeth handle the rough and sturdy colte with all crafte fearcenes that maye be but with it that is more tractable he taketh not so greate payne A sharpe wyfe muste be pleased and mitigated with loue and ruled wyth Maiest ye the more gently thou doest vse shew thy self vnto her that is meke and honest themore beninge and meke thou shalte finde her But she that is noble and of a stoute mynde and stomake the lesse thou doest looke to be honoured the more she wyll honoure thee But yet the wyse husbande shall neuer sette hym selfe so farre in loue that he forgette that he is a man the ruler of the house and of hys wyfe and that he is set as it were in a Station to watche and delygentlye to take heede what is done in hys house and to see who goeth oute and in A shepherd had nede to be industrious and diligent but he much more that hath the orderynge keping of man the whyche is so variable a beast so intractable Yf so be that the husbande haue obtayned that his wyfe doth truly and heartely loue hym there shal nede nother preceptes nor lawes for loue shall teache her moe thinges and more effectuously thē the preceptes of al the Philosophers And for asmuch as the law is made to moderate the affections w tal they shalbe better refrayned by loue the most pusant of all other affections then by any law how elegantly or wisely howe imperiouslye or threatynglye so euer it be made There is made no lawe for him that loueth for to what intent should they make anye lawe when that loue euen na turallye doth moue a man to loue There is no lawe made for the father agaynst y t child but wel for the child agaynste the father for the father doth continuallye loue the childe but the child doth now thē leaue of to loue the father If the wife loue her husband he is to her a father mothcr bre thren true riches all that she wil desire Fortunate and happy is y t house the whiche is knitte with that wherewith the world the heauens and the celestiall spirites are vnited bounde together y t is with charitie And what thing is there in this life that maye be compared with one daye of so blessed so heauenly a life Galenus was maryed with Sulpitia the which amōg all the Matrones of Rome was most chast and beste learned of the which mariage Mar tial doth write in this wise maner O Galene howe pleasannt were those xv yeares that the Lorde did geue thee with Sulpitia thi wife O note it and nowe note it well with a white stone in the which all thy age yeares are cōprised And yf Parca had geuen thee such another day thou wouldeste haue counted thy selfe muche more happye then to haue liued as longe as Pilius Nestor And finally ther shuld be such cōcorde betwene man wife as god hath made betwene heauen earth by the which so great a varietie and multitude of beastes trees is produced ingēdred And therfore it must be wayd cōsidered whether y e woman do loue simply and faithfully for as fire doth kindle fire so doeth loue prouoke loue one flame augmenteth another This thing sayth Seneca hath in it self great ioye reward for what canne be so ioyfull or pleasant as to be so louing vn to thy wife y t therby y u mayst loue thi self y e better If there be any thing amōg these thin ges of fortune that the trusteth vnto or loueth so well that she despyseth and lytle regardeth her husbande because she hath it not or prefer reth her selfe aboue him because she hathe it that thinge must be layd apart contemned as a thing rather accepted estemed by the foolish opinion of man then of it one proper naturall goodnesse Beautie is a frayle gift and a slipperous and more profitable to those that behold it thē to those that haue it nor he can take no great pleasure in it but a litle as it were in a glasse and yet incontinent he doth forgette y t he beheld and sawe and it is to them both a prouocation to euill He that is fayre waxeth proude and he y t doth behold it becometh subiecte vnto filthie loue In the minde the whiche is iudged to be the man do consiste the true liniamētes of fayrenes the which intice and prouoke celestiall loue
abroade to gayne to bring home to their wiues familie to rule them their children also all their houshold And to y e womā nature hath geuen a feareful a couetous an humble mind to be subiect vnto man to kepe y t he doeth gayne Husbandes must remembre that they are men and therfore thei ought to be stronglye mynded and farre aboue all thoughtes and cares Nature doeth inuite and call manne to suche offices maketh hym ready and fre from bearing bringing vp of children the which thynges women do at home but yet with so great heauynes and waight both of body and minde that scantly they can moue theymselues And what payne is it for a lustye man to gette prepare those thynges abroade that shalbe necessary meete for his wife and familie let him therfore be waking exercise al good and honest wayes both of wit and of bodye that there lacke nothyng nother for wyfe nor familie for so shall euerye one do their duety Who is so cru el or so vngentle that wil not see and prouide that his wife lacke nothyng nor he doeth not his duetye that wyll not prouide for his wife euē with hys owne bloude And who perceyueth not how vile min ded they be that do robbe or take any thing from their wi ues to deuour consume it nor it was neuer seene in any beast that euer the male toke any thing that should norishe her from the female and ther fore suche menne as do so are worse thē bestes iu nothing but onelye in face are vnlyke them In the olde time there was in Grece an habitacion for men onely another for wo men the third for virgines the reste were common But we haue no suche differences althoughe that the kytchen be moore apte and conuenient for the woman than for the man where that she in a maner doeth reygne all alone but yet in such wise ma ner that she put to her hande to dresse her husbādes meate and not to cōmaunde it to be drest being absent She must often tymes ouer looke her house housholde stuffe and repayre all suche thynges as be woren and broken and yf there lacke any thynge she in tyme muste shew her husbād therof and be muche conuersaunt w t her chyldren with her maidēs but sildom w t her seruaūtes nor thou with her maidens Nor thou shalt not suffer her to be ydle for when a woman as Publius Sirus doeth sai doth thinke alone she thynketh euyl Let her be do ing not that that is delitious and pleasaunt but that is pro fitable althoughe y u be ryche for there is nothynge moore chaūgeable then fortune notwithstandinge she appeareth to thee to be stedfast stable And profitable thynges doe kepe close y e minde thought of her y t worketh nor lightlye doth not suffer it to wander vage aboute other thinges And whē it is thy mind plea sure y t she be occupied aboute some busines or some labor y u must haue a respect vnto the health the state of her body Thou must not leaue her idle norso ouercharge her w t labor y t we fal sicke namely yf she be troubled w t the infitmities of nature as w t mēstrua w t berīg of childrē w t laboring of child She muste not be geuen to play for vpon what goodnes can she thinke when she playeth and a womā is muche inclined to pleasure The house shalbe vnto her in steede and place of a great a large citie she must go so sildom forth that when she setteth her fote ouer the thresholde she muste thinke y t she goth a pilgrimage She must go onely to necessary places seking no occa sion to viset mother parētes or any other frēdes Paul doeth blame those widows y t as ydle persōs do wāder aboute other mēs houses wherof cōmeth curiosite garrulite w t many other vices for al suche vertues as be keping y e house were mainteined kepte do by decay And Paule willeth vs to auoyd y e cōpany of such widowes Let deuotiō be loked vpon in the churche and not y e pompe the multitude of the people for through deuout prayer many of our sinnes are remitted I woulde wishe y t this custome of Flanders were euery where vsed that womenne when they go forth were so couered thatno man might knowe thē that thei loking right forth might see al men Nor it is not expe dient y t she go forth alone nor that she be accōpanied with many that as wel to auoyd great costes charges as to exchue pompe pride for being so accōpanied she will couet desire to be seene Let her cōpanye be of suche honestie that nother her conditions and maners nor yet the dignity of matrimony be blemished or with any spotte infected ¶ Of the exterior and outward thinges FOr why in the societie cōpany of men one doth infecte the other as in frute beastes And this contagious infection corruption doth penetrate al our senses the wor des by the eares the dedes by y e eyes And therfore Dauid doth saye y t we shulde vse the cōpany of good and innocent men auoyd those that be wicked euil He in the fable doth marueyle wonder at the nature of the yong mā y t being so long in cōpani with the euil he was not infected but yet incōtinently after the thing it selfe did manifestly de clare y t he was not vntouched nor vnbespotted Therfore if it may be thou must choose to dwel in a wel instituted ordred citie in the which be few corrupt fewe euill maners fewe corruptors of the same But yf thou canste fynde no suche citie choose thou suche places as are about thee The straungers and gestes the which that thou doste receaue into thy house do oftentymes become thy enemies throughe a certayne beneuolence do cause muche wickednes Thou must therfore consider the cōpany and searche what maner of men they be lest they cōueye anye flagitious personne into thy house they which may bringe it into an euil name and fame Such a one was Sergius Catilina as sayeth Cicero y e which left the house y t he entered in at defamed although he com mitted there no faulte at all Nor this saying of Pitagoras y t amonge frendes al thinges shulde be common taketh no place in this thinge I do speake of this vulgare com mon amitie for y t perfect loue amitie is sildome seene for yf it might be found we wold no more holily regarde oure owne mother then we wold regard our frendes wife and such correspōdent loue shuld be able to saue chastitie all other vertues for what amitie is that when one man calleth another his frend The customes also maners of thi wiues parētes must be
tēperā cie of mind is most aproued most effectuous as whē thou she west thy selse to be moued wyth the greatnesse of the faulte not for any disdaine nor to satisfye and contente thine affections but to amēd her whome thou rebukest Thou muste obserue bothe tyme and place leaste that throughe feruentnes of reprehention thou bespot thy wyfe and cause thy chaunces to be openlye knowen to straungers and other thy familiars whereby in tyme to come thy wyfe shall continuallye hate thee Be not longe angry leaste y t thy desperate wyfe fall headlonge into vice and noughtynes The apostle sayth ye husbandes loue your wyues and be not bitter vnto theym And yf the lorde forbyd vs to be angrye wyth oure brother howe muche y e lesse ought we to be angrye with our wyues the which exceade all brotherlye loue and beneuolence as we haue tolde you before and it is meate it be often times repeted And yf manne be the head of the woman Christe the head of the man he must vse hym selfe vnto the womanne as Christe doeth vse him selfe vnto us that is beniglye and frendelye And the selfe same Apostle doeth call the womanne the bodye of the manne as the churche is the bodye of Christe And not wythstandynge we sustayne and suffer manye incommodities of the bodye yet we hate it not but suffereth it nourysheth it and gouerneth it The husbandes reprehention muste be short for yf it shoulde continue hatred would ensue the whiche woulde coule matrimoniall loue kyndle disdayne and chaunge the swetenesse of theyr conuersation into bytternes Furthermore thou muste alledge the reason and cause that moueth thee to rebuke her that bothe nowe and in tyme to come she may be admonished The force and strengthe of reason hath great power in the mynde of man nor there is nothynge that so cleaueth vnto it nor lesse penetreth the same as thys sentence Thus I wyll and thus I commaunde Thou muste so rebuke her that she maye perceyue it to procede come of good loue to make her better and to be without vice or faulte y t the loue whiche is betwene you maye be the more feruēt and without anye quarel or complaynt at al. Therfore assone as thou hast chastened corrected her and that she other by worde honeste shamefastnes or silence doeth declare that she wyll obey thee geue her then fayre wordes again and a gentle countenaunce as thou waste wonte to doe Ther are in noble women as ther is among men certayne excellente motions of the mynde the whyche to those that be not wyse and doe marcke the thynge but slenderlye seme to come of arrogancye and pryde Nor these ought not vtterly to be kept vnder and cleane extinguished for without theym they canne not approche nor come to that hyghe and memorable ornament that exciteth and moueth man to maruaile and to prayse extolle them Such affections of the mind are apte meete to conserue and kepe the honestye chastitie of women Such noble women shuld not be greuously or sharpely reprehēded or rebuked but drawen frō vice other by y e example or vertue of such women as be gone alreadye or of those that they were aquaynted wyth all or elles by puttynge theym in remembraunce of theyr olde vertue and godlye lyuynge To some woman a becke of her husbande is sufficient to declare y t there is somewhat amisse y t displeaseth him and specially yf she beare her hus bād any reuerēce An honest matrone hath no nede of any greter staffe but of one worde or one sowre coūtenaunce of her husband But where y t this can not helpe but that brawling staues acre must nedes be vsed I geue no pre ceptes nor rules for there they vse violence but yet by mine aduice the husband shal neuer come to y t extremitye for yf thy wife be often rebuked will not bowe but waxeth more stiffe croked yet inasmuche as she kepeth her selfe pure chaste she must be supported and borne withal Nor the bow must not be bro ken with to muche bendynge therof Thus dyd Socrates forbeare his wife Xantippa whom we should folow yf we wer so wvse as to thinke that our pacience by reason of the womā is exercised proued to y e augmentation increase of vertue as Iob Toby did to theyr great profite and to the womans rebuke shame as y t lord whensoeuer it shall be wyl declare iudge aswel of the one as of the other Also he must thinke that she fell vnto him by lotte as his kinred hys countrey hys body hys soule and hys wyt dyd wherwith euery man ought to holde hym contente thynkynge with him selfe that the omnipotente and euerlasting God doeth dispence and order al thynge moste wyselye and moste iustelye Finallye it is meete and conueniente that the authoritye of God whyche coupled theym together shoulde sette them at one yf they were out agre thē And what man durste be so bolde to breake the peace that the king hath made Or who wolde reiect him that by some noble man was cōmaun ded deliuered vnto him yf in thys thyng the reuerence that we haue and beare vnto those whyche are of greate power be of suche force and strengthe or elles loue it selfe howe muche shoulde it be towardes god for who is so mighty or so louinge vnto vs as he him we shuld reue rence loue aboue all other thinges Also he ought to remēber what Paule sayeth y e the wife the husband are al one flesh Of y e body do come continually many incōmodities but yet no manne dothe hate it but to his power doth nourish it yf at any time he be miscontent there with by and by he pleaseth it agayne Such like loue shuld euerye man beare his wise and this after the minde of y e Apostle ¶ Of the proceding and going forwardes in matrimony AFter y e thou haste had experience of thy wife y u oughteste to loue her more tenderlye And nature doth induce a man to that y t which doth make swete familiar and customable thinges be thei neuer so sharpe or greuous for the vse continuall cōpany doth so establishe and cōfirme loue beneuolence y t we vpon that occasion doe loue dogges cattes horses other brute beastes and do mourne sorow their death and absence And what thing is lesse conueniente for a wise a well nourtred man then not to loue his wife whose cō pany he hath so longe so familiarly vsed Meleager Oeneus sōne being both angry w t him selfe all hys sat him downe in his chamber The Curetes whiche made warre agaynst the Calidonians assayled the citie molested them so sort that ther was no hope nother in man nor woman The elders of y t citie came vnto Me leager the only saue garde of al the countrey desiryng
him to put on his harnes and to defend thē yea the priestes with their ceremonies were present promised a greate rewarde but he dispised all this Then came Oneus his fa ther a man worthy of great veneration kneled downe before hys obstinate sonne Hys mother also whose angre was nowe chaunged into humble prayer and piticion came vnto hym hys systers and hys moste pleasaūt companions wyth whom he hadde lyued moste iocundly the best part of all hys tyme prayed him not to forsake thē now in this their extreme pe ryi ieoperdie But y t fearce mynde of hys was nothynge moued but denied the helpe that all they with exhortacion prayer and promis desyred In the meane whyle the enemyes entred the cytye and sertynge it a fier in dyuers and manye places murdered and loore vexed the people Hys wyfe Cloopatra beynge soore afrayed came vnto hym sayinge Helpe vs O my husbande for yf thou helpe vs not we are all but deade for oure enemyes haue and posesse all That implacable and fearse heart moued with the only voyce and peryll of hys wyfe armed hym selfe and driuynge hys enemyes out delyuered the citye from extreme daunger and peryll That noble man had wrytten in his heart that precept of nature the whyche he neuer read nor hearde by the whyche he knewe that hys wyfe and he were all one and that all other notwithstandyng they were knytte vnto hym by greate loue and amitie were without hym and that a mans wyfe is so vnited with such a coniunction and knotte bounde vnto her husbande that he doth many thynges for her the whyche he woulde not doe for hym selfe Doeth that noble and moste worthye boron in Homer cry this alone doth Agamemnon Menelaus onlye loue theyr wyues For so doeth euerye honeste man that hathe anye poynte of iudgement as I loued moste heartelye Loryseis althoughe I toke her in warre That king as Salust writeth lyinge nowe a diynge exhorted his chyldren to concorde after thys sorte and maner Who is moore frendlye then one brother to another Or who shalte thou fynde to be thy frende yf thou be enemye to thyne owne Who canne thynke that thou louest hym that perceyueth thou louest not thy wyfe beynge good and honeste And yf thou offended w t certayne her vices doest hate her it shall cause thy frendes to forsake thee to y e whyche it is not vnknowen that no manne lyueth withoute faulte and do trust that throughe vse and tyme they shall waxe tollerable but seynge thou the whiche haste bene so longe acquaynted conuersaunte with thy wyfe canste not beare her what other thynge canne he hope or truste but y t the more strayghtlye and familiarlye thou arte conuersaunt wyth him and the better that thou knowest hym the lesse frendlye thou shalte be vnto hym Canne there be anye vyce I speake of these common vyces so farre frome the nature of any man as the nature and maners of beastes be And yet conuersation doeth so worke that they lyue pleasauntly vnder one roofe and that manne doeth playe and sporte hym selfe with the Lion and the nature and dedes of eche of them doeth so please contente the other y t beinge absent they seeke eche other for familiaritie is of suche vehemencye and force that it coupleth those thynges whyche are of contrarye natures and that because malice is farre of for yf it were mixed the rewith it coulde not clapse nor fasten those thynges whyche are most lyke eche other so great a poyson is malice vnto concorde good agrement Nor thys herbe called mynt doth not as the naturall Philosophers doe saye so muche let mylke to be tourned into chese as the malyce of the hearte doeth lette veneuolence to encrease and growe And in matrimoniall debate and discord the man is more blamed then is the woman because that he beynge the chiefe ruler and heade doeth not as sayeth Uarro purge her of that vice the whyche ingendered that discorde or els pacientlye beare and suffer the same for the blame of al discorde is moste commonlye layed vnto hym that is best because he would not moderate nor let the thynge to come to suche a stryfe and discorde or els because he was not able to doe it In the first there appeareth manifest ma lice in the seconde impacience and weakenes the whyche oughte to be far from him y t is estemed to be moste worthyest appoynted to rule gouerne other And thus he commeth into hatred for asmuch as he hath begiled vs lefte of to do hys duetye and office when it neded not That loue vnto thy wife after thou haste enioyed her for a season doeth waxe feble and colde is a thynge moste mete and cōuenient for those that are kindled with bodely luste and letchery the which are verye beastes and no men hauinge no reason but are drawen to those deades through the motions of their senses the whiche after that the heate be a lytle paste shall cleane chaunge their opinion Also there are other occasions that should cause thys beneuolence and loue in case he be not duller then a stone As that hys wyfe hathe suffered so greate trauell and labour that she hath brought hym for the chyldren the heyres of hys name and substaunce and the vpholders of hys familye and that she hathe forsaken her fathers goodes and ryches to folow hym and to suffer wyth hym bothe good euyll and that she settynge her whole mind nowe vpon hym knoweth nother father nor yet anye of all her kynne What one thynge then shall suffyce to knytte theym in loue yf manye thinges canne not do it who so wil then obey nature humanitie and wisdom shall euery day loue his wife more and moore And the better he knoweth her the more he wyll truste her and to open disclose hys loue shal shew her greater signes tokens of beneuolēce manifestinge y t to be borne and nouryshed throughe the expience of her vertue through hope to be cōtinued kepte that in time to come she maye be like her selfe and as Plato writeth stryue to ouercome her selfe with vertue Thou shalt only loue thy wyfe thus tender ly but frō her as srom a foun tayne y u must extende it vnto her parentes kinsfolke to thende that they maye well know perceiue how greatly their cosyn doeth ayde and helpe them that she in lyke maner maye vnderstande that thy beneuolence loue to her is suche that it red undeth amonge her frendes and parentes and of thys thou shalte receyue no lytle profite at home And yf we wil that her kinsmen be loued for her sake how muche more ought we thē to loue her chil dren the whiche yf thou loue their mother can not be but most dearly beloued moste acceptable vnto thee she in like case shall loue thine yl y u haue anye they seinge this mutual loue betwene
equinalled wyth all worldlye ryches How magnificente a thynge is it to be taken for good and faythfull in another mans house as it is written of Crates Thebanus vnto whome for his singuler goodnesse and loue that he bare vnto his wife Hypparchia was graunted to entre not onely into the gate but into the chambers and most secret places of all the citie and ther fore the Grekes called hym Thirepanictes that is a manne that might entre and go into other mennes houses For no man doeth mistruste or feare that he wyll defyle any other mās bed that agreeth so well with hys owne wyfe with so swete and so sure a knot is fastened vnto her All the whole familie do theyr dueties when the wife doth gladlye and wyllynglye helpe her husbande and the husbande his wyfe moued by the onely loue and concorde that is betwene them for he that is not moued nor styrde with y e furiousnes and commotions of the mynd may easely retayne and cause theym to doe theyr dueties so that he leaue not of nor fayleth not to doe hys owne duetye Thus they maye with diligence gouerne their goodes and substaunce so that neyther of them be alienate farre from their domesticall familier cares and busynesses and in their familie do rule tēperal thinges with loue He is far deceyued that doeth thinke that feare rewarde or anye other lyke thinge shal so quicken or prouoke a man to do his duetye as charitie and loue shal doe Menne perchaunce wyll not greatly meruel if theyr owne children be swete moste acceptable vnto thē the whiche yf they wer but y e chyldren of one of them yet loue myghte so worke that they shoulde be vnto eche other most accep table pleasaunt how much more then must the flame nedes burne vnto the whiche they bothe as it were putte torches vnder But this peraduenture shall seeme moore merueylous the which vnto those y t haue the knowledge of naturall thynges is moste playne sure that y e children of those whiche be married loue one another shalbe meke peaceable modeste amiable and apte to all kynde of benignitie and gentlenesse For why the qualities and affectiōs of y e father the mother the which do occupie the inwarde partes of manne are most commonlye transfuded into the bodies and soules of their children and of their pa rentes they learne placabilitie mekenes To lyue thus at home in tranquilitie concorde is muche lyke the celestial and heauenly lyfe wherof as sayeth that wise man in Homer greate ioye and cherefulnesse redoundeth vnto their frendes and to their enemies greate sorowe heauines and as the other reioyce these doe lament when they see or heare that we be other in hatred or in any discorde for the euyll and wycked man doeth desyre that is euyll exchueth vertue as a most pernitious poyson But all that I haue sayd hitherto although as ye doe see they are of great importaunce yet they can not be compared to thys one thynge that I wyll now saye At home we learne charitie the whiche we maye vse and shew towardes other that beinge in tranquillitie pleased with the suauitie and swetnes of mutual and correspondent loue we may y e ease lyer geue our selues to religion to contēplation to loue to geue reuerence to that om nipotēt diuine nature And our heartes being thus touched wyth matrimonial loue and with y e holy celestial fier we shal by litle and lytle be so kindled therwith that it shall conceyue bring forth great flames And what greater or more excellent gift may be desired or graunted of god vnto mākind then that we may be made true and faythful louers of that his diuine beauti fulnes ¶ Of those that haue no children VNto some the lord now and then geueth no childrē or els he taketh them agayne when he hath geuen them that by his secrete incomprehensible iudgement yea with a fatherly indulgēce and pitie For he seeth it to be for our profite y t it shuld be so lest y t we shoulde referre all thinges to fortune naturall causes the whiche thinge no wise man nor no christen man shuld do And let vs take it for no smal benefit y t we haue not proued of y t swete gal for after that we haue swalowed it we shall saye y t there is put vnto one drop of hony sixe hūdred droppes of gall And he did euē reasonably rekē it amongy e felicities of man to liue w tout childrē And August through his doughter his nyce was cōstrayned co rehearce euē w t alowd voyce these wordes of Homere Wold god I had ne uer bene married for then I shuld haue had no children I willet passe Cicero cōplaynts to Atticus Nor I wil not dis pute here of y e priuatiō of childrē but only monish exhort those y t be married y t they because the frute of chyldren is so vncertayn that oftenti mes they do bring vnto their parentes more calamitie then profite or pleasure seke not to haue children by anye flagitiousnes y t is with one certayn euil one vncertayn calamity Be not sharpe nor bitter to your baren wiues for y t chaun seth very often without anye faulte other of y e one or of the other or of thē bothe And ye shal vnderstand know y t the wyfe desyreth moore to haue childrē then y e husband as the wal that is falling desireth to haue shores to vphold it w t al. Anne y t wife of Helcana y t Ephraite was baren howe did her husband cōfort her Am not I qd he better to thee then tēne childrē It was very meete cōuenient y t Samuel y t prophete shoulde be gotten of a man If god do send the childrē receyue thē as y e gift of god ioyfullye instruct thē wel y t theyr goodnes honestie may profite thē selues the to not on ly for thy solace good name but also to augment the merites of this life by y t which the immortal reward of the eternal life is obtayned gotten ¶ Of her that is in age AFter y t an honest a wel nourtured wo mā waxeth old we must do as men vse to do to al faithfull diligent seruaūtes we loose vnbind our old horse and oxe suffer them to wander and to feede wher they wil thē selues and put them to lesse laboure we make our bondemen free and we assigne to olde souldiers certain possessions and feldes to lyue vpon we make oure free minister and seruaunt af ter that he hath well faythfullye serued vs equall as it were vnto vs and call him to our affinity Now much more oughtest thou then honorificently to intreate thy wyfe be ing aged and olde the whiche is no brute beast no bōdmayd nor of no worse cōdition then thou thy selfe nor thy hyred