enough in God and the Holy Scriptures to bear up our spirits under any afflictions let them be never so great What do you say to that word Who is there among you that feareth the Lord and that obeyeth the voice of his servant that walketh in darkness and seeth no light let him trust in the name of the Lord and stay himself upon his God Though all earthly comforts were fled away and though you could see no light from any of these things below yet if you look upward to God in Christ there there is comfort to be found there is light to be espied yea a great and glorious light which if we can rightly discern it would put out the light of all lower comforts and cause them to be vilely accounted of But alas alas those heavenly comforts though they are in themselves so precious and if really and sensibly felt able to raise a mans Soul from Earth yea from Hell to the foretaste of Heaven it self yet for want of a spiritual sense they are by most of the world undervalued slighted and thought to be but fancies Nay let me speak freely Christians themselves and those that we have cause to hope are men of another world and truly born again yet for want of a spiritual quickness in this spiritual sight and sense these comforts are too lowly and meanly esteemed of It is a spiritual sense that inableth a Christian to behold a glorious lustre and beauty in Invisibles and raiseth the Soul up to the Gate of Heaven it self and when he is there how can he chuse but look down with a holy slighting and contempt upon the sweetest of all Earthly enjoyments How can he chuse but think all Creature-comforts but small compared with one look of love from Christ This heavenly comfort was that which David did so much desire Lord lift up the light of thy countenance upon me was the language of his soul and when this was come how was his heart inlarged Thou hast put joy and gladness in my heart more than in the time when their Corn and Wine increased He then that in afflictions would find comfort must strive to see spiritual comforts to be the greatest even that comfort which is from God in the face of Jesus Christ this this will be a cordial this will be as marrow and fatness to the soul They that have interest in Christ what need they be moved and discomfited with any worldly trouble Is not Christ better than ten children is not his loving-kindness better than life Is not all the world a shadow compared with one quarter of an hours injoyment of him even on this side of Glory in some of his own Ordinances O therefore strive to get your interest in this comfort secured and then all 's well He that hath Christ hath all things If God be reconciled to you through him then he will withhold no good thing from you We poor foolish creatures do scarce know what is good for our selves but it 's no small incouragement to the people of God that Wisdom it self takes care of them and one that loves them better than they love themselves looks after them And he hath given his promise for it that all shall work together for their good And what better foundation of comfort can there be in the whole world than this Why may you not then say with the Psasmist Why art thou cast down O my soul and why art thou disquieted within me hope in God Let not your soul sink under afflictions for what reason have you to be discomfited under them Can you gather from thence that the Lord doth not love you No surely but rather the contrary for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth every Son whom he receiveth What Son is he whom the Father chasteneth not Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down and the feeble knees Let this serve as a remedy against excessive grief Get your love to God increased which if you do the love of all other things will wax cold And if you have given God your heart you will give him leave to take what he will that is yours and what he hath you will judge rather well kept than lost Remember that Scripture and let it have its due impression upon your spirit He that loves Father or Mother Brother or Sister yea or Children more than me is not worthy of me O labour to have your affections therefore more raised up to him who is most worthy of them let him have the uppermost greatest room in your heart and let your love to all other things be placed in subjection to your love of God be ruled by it and directed to it Be our earthly afflictions never so great yet let this love to God poise our Souls so that they may not be overweighed with grief on the one side or stupidness on the other side Again let our souls be awed by that glorious power and omnipotency of God who is able to do any thing and who will do whatsoever pleaseth him both in Heaven and in Earth at whose word and for whose Glory all things that are were made And what are we poor creatures that we should dare to entertain any hard thought of this God! 'T is dangerous contending with God! Let us learn that great lesson of resigning up our selves and all we have to God let us put our selves as instruments into the hands of the Lord to do what he pleaseth with us and let us remember that it was our promise and covenant with God to yield our selves up to him and to be wholly at his disposal The Soul is then in a sweet frame when it can cordially say It is the Lord let him do what seemeth good in his eyes Not my will but thine be done Again let us know that though we cannot alwaies see into the reasonableness of the ways of God for his ways are often in the thick Cloud and our weak Eyes cannot look into those depths in which he walketh yet all the ways of God are just holy and good Let us therefore have a care of so much as moving much more of entertaining any unworthy thoughts against God But let us submit willingly to the yoak which he is pleased to lay upon us lest he break us with his terrible judgments And now it hath seemed good to God to lay this stroak upon you I pray labour rightly to improve it and let this trial prepare you for greater And seeing the uncertainty of all worldy things indeavour with all your might to get your heart above them and I beseech the Lord who is the great Physitian of Souls and knows how to apply a Salve to every Sore of his to comfort you with his spiritual comforts that he would favourably shine upon you and receive you into a nearer union and communion with himself Into his hands I commit you with him I leave you praying that he would make up all in
in them To instance in a particular or two One time perceiving one of his Brothers asleep at Prayer in the Family he presently took occasion to show him what a high contempt it was of God what a little sense such a man must have of his own danger what dreadful hypocrisie what a Miracle of Patience that he was not awakened in flames After he had been a while affectionately pleading with him it pleased the Lord to strike in with some power and to melt and soften his Brothers heart when he was about eleven years old so that it was to be hoped that then the Lord began savingly to work upon the heart of that Child For from that time forward a considerable alteration might be discerned in him When he perceived it he was not a little pleased This put him upon carrying on the work that Conviction might not wear off till it ended in Conversion To this end he wrote to him to put him in mind of what God had done for his Soul begging of him not to rest satisfied till he knew what a thorow change and effectual calling meant I hope said he that God hath a good work to do in you for you and by you yea I hope he hath already begun it But O take not up with some beginnings faint desires lazy seekings O remember your former tears one may weep a little for sin and yet go to Hell for sin many that are under some such work shake of the sense of sin murder their Convictions and return again to folly O! take heed if any draw back the Lord will take no pleasure in them but I hope better things of you He would also observe how his Brethren carried it after Duty whether they seemed to run presently to the World with greediness as if Duty were a task or whether there seemed to be an abiding impression of God and the things of God upon them His vehement love and compassion to Souls may be further judged of by these following expressions which he used to one of his Relations After he had been speaking how infinitely it was below a Christian to pursue with greediness the things which will be but as gravel in the teeth if we mind not the rich provision which is in our Fathers House O what folly is it to trifle in the things of God! but I hope better things of you did I not hope why should I not mourn in secret for you as one cast out among the dead O what should I do for you but pour out my Soul like water and give my God no rest till he should graciously visit you with his Salvation till he cast you down and raise you up till he wound you and heal you again Thus what with his holy example warm and wise exhortations prayers tears and secret groans somewhat of the beauty of Religion was to be seen in the Family where he lived CHAP. V. His great love to and frequency in the duty of Prayers with remarkable success HE was mighty in Prayer and his spirit was oftentimes so transported in it that he forgot the weakness of his own body and of others spirits Indeed the acquaintance that he had with God was so sweet and his converse with him so frequent that when he was ingaged in duty he scarce knew how to leave that which was so delightful and suited to his spirit His constant course for some years was this He prayed at least three times a day in secret sometimes seven times twice a day in the Family or Colledge And he found the sweetness of it beyond imagination and enjoyed wonderful Communion with God and tasted much of the pleasantness of a Heavenly Life And he could say by experience that the ways of wisdom were ways of pleasantness and all her paths peace He knew what it was to wrestle with God and was come to that pass that he could scarce come off his knees without his Fathers blessing He was used to converse with God with a holy familiarity as a Friend and would upon all occasions run to him for advice and had many strange and immediate Answers of Prayer One of which I think it not altogether impertinent to give the World an account of His Honoured Father Mr. William Janeway Minister of Kelshall in Hartfordshire being sick and being under somewhat dark apprehensions as to the state of his Soul he would often say to his Son John O Son this passing upon Eternity is a great thing this dying is a solemn business and enough to make any ones heart ake that hath not his Pardon sealed and his Evidences for Heaven clear And truly Son I am under no small fears as to my own estate for another world O that God would clear his love O that I could say chearfully I can die and upon good grounds be able to look Death in the face and venture upon Eternity with well-grounded peace and comfort His sweet and dutiful Son made a suitable reply at present but seeing his dear Father continuing under despondings of spirit though no Christians that knew him but had a high esteem of him for his uprightness he got by himself and spent some time in wrestling with God upon his Fathers account earnestly begging of God that he would fill him with joy unspeakable in believing and that he would speedily give him some token for good that he might joyfully and honourably leave this world to go to a better After he was risen from his knees he came down to his sick Father and asked him how he felt himself His Father made no answer for some time but wept exceedingly a passion that he was not subject to and continued for some considerable time in an extraordinary passion of weeping so that he was not able to speak But at last having recovered himself with unspeakable joy he burst out into such expressions as these O Son now it is come it is come it is come I bless God I can die The Spirit of God hath witnessed with my spirit that I am his Child Now I can look up to God as my dear Father and Christ as my Redeemer I can now say this is my Friend and this is my Beloved My heart is full it is brim full I can hold no more I know now what that sentence means the Peace of God which passeth understanding I know now what that white stone is wherein a new name is written which none know but they which have it And that fit of weeping which you saw me in was a fit of over-powring love and joy so great that I could not for my heart contain my self neither can I express what glorious discoveries God hath made of himself unto me And had that joy been greater I question whether I could have born it and whether it would not have separated soul and body Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless his holy Name that hath pardoned all my sins
and sealed the pardon He hath healed my wounds and caused the bones which he had broken to rejoyce O help me to bless the Lord he hath put a new Song into my mouth O bless the Lord for his infinite goodness and rich mercy O now I can die it is nothing I bless God I can die I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ You may well think that his Sons heart was not a little refreshed to hear such words and see such a sight and to meet the Messenger that he had sent to Heaven returned back again so speedily He counted himself a sharer with his Father in this mercy and it was upon a double account welcome as it did so wonderfully satisfie his Father and as it was so immediate and clear an Answer of his own prayers as if God had from Heaven said unto him thy tears and prayers are heard for thy Father thou hast like a Prince prevailed with God thou hast got the blessing thy fervent prayers have been effectual go down and see else Upon this this precious young man broke forth into praises and even into another extasie of joy that God should deal so familiarly with him and the Father and Son together were so full of joy light life love and praise that there was a little Heaven in the place He could not then but express himself in this manner O blessed and for ever blessed be God for his infinite grace O who would not pray unto God! verily he is a God that heareth prayers and that my soul knows right well And then he told his joyful Father how much he was affected with his former despondings and what he had been praying for just before with all the earnestness he could for his soul and how the Lord had immediately answered him His Father hearing this and perceiving that his former comforts came in in a way of prayer and his own childs prayer too was the more refreshed and was the more confirmed that it was from the Spirit of God and no delusion And immediately his Son standing by he fell into another fit of triumphing joy his weak body being almost ready to sink under that great weight of Glory that did shine in so powerfully upon his Soul He could then say now let thy servant depart in peace for mine eyes have seen thy Salvation He could now walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil O how sweet a thing is it to have ones interest in Christ cleared how comfortable to have our calling and election made sure How lovely is the sight of a smiling Jesus when one is dying How refreshing is it when heart and flesh and all are failing to have God for the strength of our heart and our portion for ever O did the foolish unexperienced world but know what these things mean did they but understand what it is to be solaced with the believing views of Glory to have their senses spiritually exercised could they but taste and see how good the Lord is it would soon cause them to disrelish their low and bruitish pleasures and look upon all worldly joys as infinitely short of one glimpse of Gods love After this his Reverent Father had a sweet calm upon his spirits and went in the strength of that provision that rich Grace laid in till he came within the Gates of the New Jerusalem having all his Graces greatly improved and shewed so much humility love to and admiring of God contempt of the World such prizing of Christ such patienee as few Christians arrive to especially his Faith by which with extraordinary confidence he cast his Widow and eleven Fatherless Children upon the care of that God who had fed them with this Manna in his Wilderness state The benefit of which Faith all his Children none of which were in his life-time provided for have since to admiration experienced And it is scarce to be imagined how helpful this his precious Son John Janeway was to his Father by his heavenly discourse humble advice and prayers After a four moneths conflict with a gainful Consumption and Hectick Fever his Honoured Father sweetly slept in Jesus CHAP. VI. His care of Mother and other Relations after his Fathers death AFter the death of his Father he did what he could to supply his absence doing the part of Husband Son Brother so that he was no small comfort to his poor Mother in her disconsolate state and all the rest of his Relations that had any sense of God upon their spirits To one of which he thus addressed himself upon the death of a sweet Child Daily observations and every mans experience gives sufficient testimony to it that afflictions of what kind soever by how much the seldomer they are the more grievous they seem We have of a long time sailed in the Rivers of Blessings which God hath plentifully poured forth among us now if we come where the Waves of affliction do but a little more than ordinarily arise we begin to have our souls almost carried down with fears and griefs yea the natural man if not counter-powred by the Spirit of God will be ready to entertain murmuring and repining thoughts against God himself Whereas if all our life had been a Pilgrimage full of sorrows and afflictions as we deserved and had but rarely been intermingled with comforts we should have been more fitted to bear afflictions Thus it is naturally but we ought to counter-work against the stream of nature by a new principle wrought in us and whatsoever Nature doth err in Grace is to rectifie And they upon whom Grace is bestowed ought to set Grace on work For wherefore is Grace bestowed unless that it should act in us It hath pleased the Lord to make a breach in your Family There where the knot is fast tyed when it is disunited the change becomes greater and the grief is the more inlarged So that herein you who are most moved are most to be excused and comforted The strength of a Mothers affections I believe none but Mothers know and greatest affections when they are disturbed breed the greatest grief But when afflictions come upon us what will be our duty Shall we then give our selves up to be carried away with the grieving passions Shall we because of one affliction cause our souls to walk in sadness all our days and drive away all the light of comfort from our eyes by causing our souls to be obscured under the shades of melancholy Shall we quarrel with our Maker and call the wise Righteous Judge to our Bar Doth he not punish us less than we deserve Is there not Mercy and Truth in all his Dispensations Shall we by continual sorrow add affliction to affliction and so become our own Tormentors Are we not rather under afflictions to see if any way we may find a glimpse of Gods love shining in towards us and so to raise up our souls nearer God Is there not
the evening when he usually walked into the field if the weather would permit if not he retired into the Church or any empty solitary room Where observing his constant practice that if possible I might be acquainted with the reason of his retiredness I once hid my self that I might take the more exact notice of the intercourse that I judged was kept up between him God But O what a spectacle did I see Surely a man walking with God conversing intimately with his Maker and maintaining a holy familiarity with the great Jehovah Me-thought I saw one talking with God me-thoughts I saw a spiritual Merchant in an heavenly Exchange driving a rich trade for the treasures of the other world O what a glorious sight it was Me-thinks I see him still how sweetly did his face shine O with what a lovely countenance did he walk up and down his lips going his body oft reaching up as if he would have taken his flight into Heaven His looks smiles and every motion spake him to be upon the very Confines of Glory O had one but known what he was then feeding on Sure he had meat to eat which the world knew not of Did we but know how welcome God made him when he brought him into his banqueting-house That which one might easily perceive his heart to be most fixed upon was The infinite love of God in Christ to the poor lost Sons and Daughters of Adam What else meant his high expressions What else did his own words to a dear friend signifie but an extraordinary sense of the freeness fulness and duration of that love To use his own words God saith he holds mine eyes most upon his Goodness his unmeasurable-Goodness and the Promises which are most sure and firm in Christ His love to us is greater surer fuller than ours to our selves For when we loved our selves so as to destroy our selves he loved us so as to save us CHAP. X. His Exhortations to some of his friends ANd that he might ingage others in more ardent affections to God he put words into their mouths Let us then saith he behold Him till our hearts desire till our very souls are drawn out after him till we are brought to acquaintance intimacy delight in him O that he would love me O that I might love him O blessed are they that know him and are known of him It is good for me to draw near to God A day in his Court is better than a thousand elsewhere My soul longeth yea fainteth for the Courts of the Lord my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God Oh that I were received into converse with him that I might hear his voice and see his countenance For His voice is sweet and his countenance is comly Oh that I might communicate my self to God and that he would give himself to me O that I might love him That I were sick of love that I might die in love That I might lose my self in his love as a small drop in the unfathomable depth of his love That I might dwell in his eternal love O saith he to a dear friend under some fears as to his state stand still and wonder behold his love and admire now if never yet consider what thou canst discover in this precious Jesus Canst thou not see so much till thou canst see no more not because of its shortness but because of thy darkness Here 's a Sea fling thy self into it and thou shalt be compassed with the height and depth and breadth and length of love and be filled with all the fulness of God Is not this enough VVhat wouldst thou have more Fling away all besides God God is Portion enough and the only proper portion of the Soul Hast thou not tasted hast thou not known that his love is better than wine Hast thou not smelt the savour of his precious ointments for which the virgins love him This this is he who is altogether lovely And while I write my heart doth burn my soul is on fire I am sick of love Dear soul come near and look upon his face and see whether thou canst choose but love him Fall upon him imbrace him give him thy dearest choicest love all 's too little for him let saith and love kiss him You shall be no more bold than welcome Fix thine eyes again and again upon Him look upon His lovely sweet and royal face till thou art taken with this beautiful person who hath not his fellow upon the earth his equal among the Angels Come near still contemplate his excellency review each part and thou wilt find him to be made up of love winde thy affections about him bind thy soul to him with the cords of love Thus shalt thou find a new life to animate thy soul thou shall then feel a new warmth to melt thy heart a divine fire to burn up corruption and to break forth into a flame of heavenly love Dwell in this love and thou shalt dwell in God and God in thee But now me-thinks I see you almost all in tears because thou feelest not such workings of love towards God Weep on still for Love hath tears as well as grief and tears of love shall be kept in his bottle as well as they yea they shall be as pretious jewels and as an excellent ornament Hast thou felt such meltings of loving-grief Know that they are no other than the streams of Christs love flowing to you and through you and from you to Him again And thus is Christ delighted in beholding of his own beauties in his Spouses eye I have prayed for a blessing for you and on these related to you and if they prove of any power by the spirit of God to you it will be matter of joy and praise by your dear friend John Janeway CHAP. XI His Temptations from Satan THus you have a tast of his Spirit and may perceive what it was that he had his heart most set upon and what kept his graces in such vigor and activity and how desirous he was that others should be sharers with him in this mercy Yet for all this he had his gloomy days and the Sun was sometimes overcast his sweets were sometimes imbittered with dreadful and horrid temptations The Devil shot his poisonous arrows at him yet through the Captain of his salvation he came more than a conqueror out of the field He was with Paul many times lifted up into the third Heavens and saw and heard things unutterable but lest he should be exalted above measure there was a Messenger of Satan sent to buffet him It would make a Christians heart even ake to hear and read what strange temptations this gratious soul was exercised with But he was well armed for such a conflict having on the shield of faith whereby he quenched the fiery darts of that Wicked-One yet this fight cost him the sweating of his very body for agonies of spirit and tears
the Glory of anothee world realized to sense His faith grew exceedingly and his love was proportionable and his joys were equal to both O the rare attainments The high and divine expressions that dropped from his mouth I have not words to express what a strange triumphant angelical frame he was in for some considerable time together It was a very Heaven upon earth to see and hear a man admiring God at such a rate as I never heard any nor ever expect to hear or see more till I come to Heaven Those that did not see cannot well conceive what a sweet frame he was in for at least six weeks before he died His soul was almost alwaies filled with those joys unspeakable and full of glory How oft vvould he cry out O that I could but let you know what I now feel O that I could show you what I see O that I could express the thousandth part of that sweetness that I now find in Christ You would all then think it well worth the while to make it your business to be religious O my dear friends we little think what a Christ is worth upon a death-bed I would not for a world nay for millions of worlds be now without a Christ and a pardon I would not for a world be to live any longer the very thoughts of a possibility of recovery makes me even tremble When one came to visit him and told him that he hoped it might please God to raise him again and that he had seen many a weaker man restored to health and that lived many a good year after And do you think to please me said he by such discourse as this No Friend you are much mistaken in me if you think that the thoughts of life and health and the world are pleasing to me The world hath quite lost its excellency in my judgement O how poor and contemptible a thing is it in all its glory compared with the glory of that invisible world which I now live in the sight of And as for life Christ is my life health and strength and I know I shall have another kind of life when I leave this I tell you it would incomparably more please me if you should say to me You are no man of this world you cannot possibly hold out long before to morrow you will be in eternity I till you I do so long to be with Christ that I could be contented to be cut apeices to be put to the most exquisite torments so I might but die and be with Christ O how sweet is Jesus Come Lord Jesus come quickly Death do thy worst Death hath lost his terribleness Death it is nothing I say Death is nothing through grace to me I can as easily die as shut my eyes or turn my head and sleep I long to be with Christ I long to die that was still his note His Mother and Brethen standing by him he said Dear Mother I beseech you as earnestly as ever I desired any thing of you in my life that you would cheerfully give me up to Christ I beseech you do not hinder me now I am going to rest and glory I am afraid of your prayers lest they pull one way and mine another And then turning to his Brethren he spake thus to them I charge you all do not pray for my life any more you do me wrong if you do O that glory the unspeakable glory that I behold My heart is full my heart is full Christ smiles and I cannot chose but smile can you find in your heart to stop me who am now going to the compleat and eternal injoyment of Christ Would you keep me from my Crown The arms of my blessed Saviour are open to imbrace me the Angels stand ready to carry my soul into his bosom O did you but see what I see you would all cry out with me how long dear Lord come Lord Jesus come quickly O why are his Chariot-wheels so long a coming And all this while he lay like a triumphing conqueror smiling and rejoicing in spirit There was never a day towards his end but as weak as he was he did some special piece of service in for his great Master Yea almost every hour did produce fresh wonders A Reverend Judicious and holy Minister came often to visit him and discoursed with him of the excellency of Christ and the glory of the invisible world Sir said he I feel something of it my heart is as full as it can hold in this lower state I can hold no more here O that I could but let you know what I feel This holy Minister praying with him his soul was ravished with the abundant incomes of light life and love so that he could scarce bear it nor the thought of staying any longer in the world but longed to be in such a condition wherein he should have yet more grace and more comfort and be better able to bear that weight of glory some manifestations whereof did even almost sink his weak body had he not been sustained by a great power his very joys would have overwhelmed him and whilst he was in these extasies of joy and love he was wont to cry out Who am I Lord who am I that thou shouldst be mindful of me Why me Lord why me and pass by thousands look upon such a wretch as me O what shall I say unto thee O thou preserver of men O why me Lord why me O blessed and for ever blessed be free grace How is it Lord that thou shouldst manifest thy self unto me and not unto others even so Father because it seemeth good in thy eyes Thou wilt have mercy because thou wilt have mercy And if thou wilt look upon such a poor worm who can hinder Who would not love thee O blessed Father O how sweet and gratious hast thou been unto me O that he should have me in his thoughts of love before the foundations of the world And thus he went on admiring and adoring of God in a more high and heavenly manner than I can clothe with words Suppose what you can on this side Heaven and I am perswaded you might have seen it in him He was wonderfully taken with the goodness of God to him in sending that aged experienced Minister to help him in his last great work upon earth Who am I said he that God should send to me a messenger one among a thousand meaning that Minister who had been praying with him with tears of joy Though he was towards his end most commonly â—n a triumphant joyful frame yet sometimes even then he had some small intermissions in which he would cry out Hold out faith and 〈◊〉 et a little while and your work is done And when he found not his heart wound up to the highest pitch of thankfulness admiration and Love he would with great sorrow bemoan himself and cry out in this Language And vvhat 's the matter now