own Righteousness was very Sand and by no means to be built on He Convinced me of Righteousness and that of another make than my own yea or than the Angels Being beat off from trust in my own Righteousness and coming to some knowledge of Christ's I was like to stick in the place of the breaking of Children I was very near to Miscarry in the pangs of the new Birth And he the self-same Spirit brought me forth He brought Christ to my heart and my heart unto Christ he was to me a Spirit of Faith of uniting Faith joyning Christ and my Soul as Head and Members be joyned Of Justifying Faith and such as through the Law of Grace makes Christ's Satisfaction for Sin as beneficial to us as if we our selves had payed our Debts unto God Such a Faith as put me into the City of Refuge and secured me from the pursuit of the Avenger I humbly hope so at least When this was done and I was born of Water and of the Spirit then was I all in haste for a heart much more clean and more after God's heart And he the same Spirit was unto me a Spirit of Burning as Fire mollifies Iron he softned my heart more than ever in former times and melted my will into God's Will and united it to fear his Name After this it self still was I a short-sighted Creature and in pain to know more of God and Christ of Sin and Grace of my Hearts deceits and Satans wiles of Heaven and Hell And he it was that in and by his Ordinances anointed my Eyes and made me from that time to this to make some Progress in Knowledge To grow in it both Extensively and Intensively Several times have I been in danger of being deceived by false Teachers by the craft of men lying in wait to deceive And he the only unerring Guide kept my foot his word it was that I heard behind me saying This is the way walk in it Many is the sad time that I have back-slidden and foully fallen And by him hath it been shewn me whence I was fallen he it was that came and said Return thou backslider He it was that let me not to rest till I had gone forth and wept bitterly and laid hold on him that healeth backslidings Full often I have had fightings without and fears within sorrow upon sorrow And he hath been a Comforter indeed he hath taken of Jesus and shewn me that which hath made my state presently tolerable and by and by comfortable It is never very long together but I am at a loss what to do for both Life Motion and Direction And he alone it is who makes me feel any spark of life in me makes me stir and move in Willing and Doing and guideth me in Judgment teaching me his way When I am most afflicted and need most of all to Pray even then oftentimes do I least of all know what to pray for And he it is this holy Spirit himself that maketh Intercessions in me as it is Rom. 8.26 and maketh me to Pray in him as it is Jud. v. 20. More plainly he enlightneth and he fortifieth my puzled and dejected Soul He Directeth my requests so that I ask Bread and not a Stone Fish and not a Serpent He Enflameth my Desires so that by the Fervence I discern God's Acceptance as of old Sacrifices were manifested to be acceptable by the firing of them He emboldens also my Suits unto God so that while I adore him as my Soveraign I trust him as my Father by Adoption While I am prostrate before him as a rebellious Subject with a Rope about my Neck I have the humble confidence of a Child of his in my heart and I do rejoyce fiducially while I tremble most Self-condemningly Briefly until such time as I got acquainted with him never could I heartily call God the Father my Father nor call Jesus Christ my Lord. I am sure I could do neither according to the Will of God Well might my dear Redeemer call this Holy Spirit God's good gift Luk. 11.13 Well might the Man after God's own Heart exclaim Take not thy holy Spirit from me Psal 51. And well might the great Apostle pray for his Ephesian Children that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of Glory might give unto them the SPIRIT of WISDOM and REVELATION in the knowledge of him Eph. 1.17 18. And well will it be for me and all my dearest ones if as above all things I Pray we shall holily walk after this good Spirit Not GRIEVING his Divine PERSON dwelling in us not QUENCHING his gracious MOTIONS made in us not RESISTING him in any of his ORDINANCES instituted for us For by his blessed Operation it is that we have our Communion with the FATHER in his Love with the SON in his Grace and with Himself the Coessential SPIRIT in his Consolation Look as the Son of God is Mediator for us unto the Father unto himself as he is God and unto the Holy Spirit unto the whole Trinity in like manner is the Holy Spirit the one common Operator or Worker for us and Comforter of us from the Father from the Son and from Himself from God in Unity He is named the COMFORTER and as I conceive comparatively greater than Christ was in the days of his Flesh on Earth But how doth he comparatively so much more comfort the Children of God This he doth by acquainting them much more with the Love of the Father By giving them to see more fully that the Father himself loveth them as our Lord speaks Joh. 16.27 And by discovering unto them much more the grace of the Son the super-excellency of his Person and of his Purchases By glorifying of him in their hearts so as he never was before Joh. 14.15 that is the very word which Christ useth He shall GLORIFIE me And lastly by setting before their Eyes much more his own like infinite Love Grace and Condescention Admirable condescention to be made less in Office than the Father and Son with whom he is Equal in eternal Essence And this most freely and of choice for our good and so great good as hath been foreshewn And that although he well foreknew what we were and what cross pieces we should prove and how we should GRIEVE him PROVOKE him and QUENOH many Millions of his most holy Motions in our hearts defile his Dwelling-place and provoke him for ever to abhor US so infinitely needing his Wisdom Power and Grace to help us in all Concernments Us who without his infallible Counsel and his invincible Strength are sure by every Sin to be frightned into Despair of Mercy or hardned unto a very disregard of Vindictive Justice Who are sure by Prosperity to be slain and to be made forgetful of God by Adversity to be brought to horrible Distrust of God's goodness or as leud Disdain of his Government and Discipline by our very Duties themselves to be puffed up with
the vile Idolatries committed upon it I have taken this time as the first I could find or make for writing these Marks of true Grace Not knowing whether they shall prosper most as Spoken or Written or whether they shall be alike fruitful For I will acknowledge unto you that I do humbly expect fruit from them Physicians speak of Pills and Divines of Memorands which a Wise Man would not be without And be it confessed these Marks are such in my thoughts Wherefore consider what follows and the Lord give you Understanding and Possession of all He that truly feareth the Lord and of whom God saith that he shall be his in the day wherein he maketh up his Jewels he hath these five Marks Mark 1. GOD is Supream in his Soul both by the highest Authority of a KING and the dearest Authority of a FATHER The One only God who is Father Son and Spirit doth as truly Dwell in his heart as in Heaven And as truly Reign as Dwell therein and that by Consent and Choice VVhatever Cherubins Seraphins and Spirits made perfect be the very same this Man desires to be I mean as to honorable Apprehensions of God and Affections toward him He wisheth that his Esteem and Reverence Love and Trust and Service were of degree equal to theirs And telleth himself a thousand times that if they were so they would still be infinitely disproportionable unto the divine object of them It is against his renewed Mind and VVill that his Life or his very Salvation should be principally valued but for the glorifying and enjoying of God As our Saviour refused not to worship the Devil because he was a Devil but because he was not God So this Man argues and concludeth that the infinite distance of any created Being from Godhead is an infinite reason for denying to prize it for it self The word God signifies a Being that is not a Part but the Whole of Excellence And so well he understands it that his Soul is for a Total not a Partial Preference of Him Heathens would say That the Sun were worthy of Adoration though it were so that no benefit descended from it upon them Much more saith this Man that if it were possible we could Be without God it would be Folly and Injustice to honour any thing like Him God's DOING good is but a lower and lesser reason for his being adored His BEING good is an infinitely higher one For all the good He DOTH is but a Stream from the Fountain of good that He IS So David Thou ART good and DOEST good The impressions of both upon an holy heart are such as none can know but those that have them And of such every one will tell you that they thus far affect him They fill him with Wonder Grief and Shame that his Thoughts of God are not in a sort Almighty and able to work no more powerfully upon him Able to annihilate all the Worlds grandeurs in his Mind able to strike dead the Flesh with its Affections and Lusts able to embitter sweetest Sins and sweeten the most bitter Afflictions able to set and fix his Soul in Heaven even according to his hearts desire However he findeth these thoughts to be truly Powerful and the most Powerful of all the thoughts framed in his heart and all the good in his heart and life he knows to be the issue of these said thoughts And accordingly of desire of more good in both he operously multiplieth thoughts of God Thoughts of his Essential Perfections Eternity Infiniteness Wisdom Power Holiness Justice Goodness Truth Thoughts of his wonderful Manner of Being in the Father Son and Holy Ghost the best and most glorious manner of Being that is Possible Thoughts of his Relations unto the Church and World unto the latter of which He is Maker Owner Ruler and Benefactor to the former He is all four and over and above their reconciled Father Husband and Portion The gracious Man of whom we speak hath his times in which he goes aside and muses of all these most solemnly And efficaciously to the making him exclaim as the Psalmist Whom HAVE I in Heaven but thee and there is none upon Earth I DESIRE besides thee O THREE in ONE Be it observed here some sincere Souls may have less Light But more intelligent Christians do take their times to think that if God the Father had been the Father of no more than Men and Angels He would have been nothing so glorious as now He is Now that He begets a Son equal to himself and without change in himself in way inconceivable And that beyond all possible thought of any Creature it is the Father's and the Son's honour to give a subsisting life to the coequal Spirit by alike eternal and inconceivable Spiration And that it is no dishonour to the Son to be thus Begotten by the Father or to the Spirit to proceed thus from the Father and the Son Being that the Son is Equal with the Father and One and to be worshipped with one and the same worship with the Father And the holy Spirit is Equal with the Father and the Son one with them and to be worshipped with one and the same Worship with them By this means these three Father Son and Spirit do infinitely and mutually love and are beloved of each other And unto this their eternal infinite and mutual delight the natural perfection of the Godhead did require this Communication of it self Nor was it therefore arbitrarily but naturally and necessarily though voluntarily that the Father begat the Son and the Father and Son breathed forth the Spirit To conclude The Child of God looks on the Son and admires the Father looks on the Father and admires the Son looks on the Father and Son and admires the holy Spirit looks on all three as subsisting in the Unity of the Godhead as dwelling in one another mutually possessing loving and glorifying one another from everlasting to everlasting He contemplates the Godhead dwelling equally in its fulness in all the three Persons in the Father the Beginner the Son the Promoter the Holy Ghost the Perfecter of all good He Knows Believes Acknowledges Worships Obeys and Trusts and Lives upon Three PERSONS and One GOD. He questions not but Angels and Saints in Heaven do the same Holy Holy Holy being their Song He is satisfied that Adam in his Innocency did the same being that he was Created by the three Divine Persons and in the Image of all three For it was the Father said to the Son and Spirit Come let US create Man in OUR Image and after OUR likeness He is certified by the Scriptures of Truth that it is the Will of the Father that every Tongue should confess the Son to be God and the holy Ghost to be God unto the glory of God the Father He is well informed that the Universal Church under the New Testament hath most expresly made One-God-in-three-Persons the Object of her Faith
spoke for by the least Child it hath 12. The Twelfth is Valuation of one's self by the Execution Repetition and Propugnation of the Suggestions All Men do glory in somewhat or other There is some one thing or other by which they do rate and value themselves Determining they are more or less blessed in themselves and to be esteemed by others as they have more or less of the same Unregenerate Men's estimate of themselves is by their Executed and Repeated and Propugnated Sin and what that Sin has gained them Even the Profits Pleasures or Honours of this World which they have compassed by those their Sins The Regenerate do try themselves by another Touchstone and weigh themselves in another Scale They count the Idols of this world very Nothings And do believe in their hearts and confess with their mouths that in them dwelleth no other good and they are at no further distance from Misery than the Grace of God in them and the Grace of God toward them doth set them They are Happy and Honourable more or less as they Glorifie and Enjoy God more or less Enjoy him according to the Promises and Glorifie him according to the Demands of the Covenant of Grace Brethren It shall not repent you if seriously and frequently you do Examine your selves in reference unto these twelve Particulars If these Acts are passed in your Souls on the right side Rejoyce and be exceeding glad for great is your reward in Heaven whatever be your Scar-crows and Disquietments on Earth Indeed as long as you live you may be one while in tears of grief crying God be merciful unto me a Sinner But you will be otherwhiles in tears of joy exclaiming I know that my Redeemer liveth One while combating with fears asking Will the Lord be favourable unto me But by and by triumphing over your fears saying I am perswaded that nothing shall be able to separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus One while falling down on your Knees praying I believe Lord help my Unbelief But another time clapping your hands and thankfully proclaiming it Christ hath loved me and gave himself for me One while as Hester If I perish I perish But another as Mary My Soul rejoyceth in God my Saviour He that doth not willingly grieve the Children of Men will not let his own Children have nothing but grief for any long time together if they use the diligence he requireth for his sweet Consolations However I charge that you do not overvalue Comfort that you do not forget that a little Grace is more worth than much Comfort And that Comfort is desirable only for the sake of Holiness I am wholly of his Mind who hath said Happier a great deal is that man's case whose Soul by inward desolation is HUMBLED than he whose heart is through abundance of spiritual delight LIFTED up and exalted ABOVE MEASURE Better is it sometimes to go down into the Pit with him who beholding darkness and bewailing the loss of inward joy and consolation cryeth from the bottom of the lowest Hell My God my God why hast thou forsaken me then continually to walk arm in arm with Angels to sit as it were in Abraham 's bosom and to have no thought no cogitation but I thank God I am not as other men it is not with me as with others Ri. Hooker pag. 546. as quoted by Mr. H. Hickman in his very excellent Discourse on Eph. 4.30 I do remember and still adhere unto what I have written in my Call to Sinners Marks than which I cannot find better But variety and store is no sore It repents me not that I have here proposed these And I will farther commend unto your use Six excellent Questions of blessed Mr. Henry Scudder as they are contracted by our worthy Mr. Samuel Lee who with him well saith these words You are in God's favour and in a state of grace if you can answer yea unto ALL or unto ANY of them Q. 1. How stand you affected to Sin are you afraid to offend God and dare not sin wittingly Is it your Grief and Burden that you cannot abstain from it nor get out of it as soon as you would Q. 2. How are you affected to Holiness and the Power of Godliness to know God's Will and do it to fear and please him Is it your Grief when you fail and your Joy when you do well Q. 3. How to the Church of God are you glad when it goes well and grieved when it goes ill and sit trembling with Eli to hear how it goes with the Ark of God however it be with your own Particular Q. 4. How towards Men Do you dislike wicked Men and love those that fear the Lord because they are good Q. 5. Can you endure your Soul to be ript and your beloved Sin to be smitten by a searching Minister and like him the Rather and can yield an obedient Ear to such a wise Reproof Q. 6. Though you have not Evidence always or can scarce tell whether you ever had it yet resolve and desire and will as you are able to cleave to God in Christ for Salvation by Faith and in no other Person nor by no other means to be saved But that my Epistle is already swollen beyond my purpose I would here have shewn you more largely these Particulars 1. Strongest Grace and weakest do agree in many things e. gr 1 Both have the same Original Giver God the Father Both are from his Electing Love Unto which are owing the smallest sparks as well as the brightest flames of spiritual-life 2 Both have the same meritorious Purchaser Jesus Christ Both are from his Redeeming Grace Thereto are we beholden for our very Entrance into the State of Holiness as well as for our Proficience and final Perfection 3 Both have the same Efficient Worker the Holy Ghost Both are from his regenerating Work Thereof it is that the Babe in Christ is what he is as well as that the grown Man in Christ is what he is 4 Both are wrought by the same Instrument also the New Covenant Word of God And in short 5 Both have the self-same Nature They have the same Nature and Being though so different sizes of Strength and Power of working A drop of water is as truly water as the vast Collection of water in the Sea is so And the Soul in whom Christ is formed but this hour is as truly an holy one as any of those who are with him in Paradise 2. Strong Grace and Weak do differ in their Measures their Strength and their Comforts and Troubles As grown Men do differ from Sucklings Having no more Limbs than they but every one larger and stronger and more capacious of Pain and Pleasure Weakest Converts have Knowledge of the Gospel-Covenant but not so Extensive or so Intensive and clear as stronger ones have They have predominant and practical Consent to it's Demands but not so free from Hesitations nor so
victorious over Jealousies as stronger ones have They have Reliance upon it's Promises but not so Quiet and so little Interrupted as stronger ones have They have their Comforts and their Troubles but not ordinarily at least so great as stronger Converts have The Loads of strong ones would break their backs and the sweet Wines that they do drink would be too strong for their heads True it is least Children in Nature and in Grace be more in crying than when more grown Though God can he very rarely doth make little Grace so evident unto us or so comforting of us as he maketh greater But what is said above is true 3. The huge diversity of Grace hath various Causes of it e. gr Converts are of various 1 Ages and standings in Grace 2 Their outward Helps are various some have Parents Ministers and Company an hundred fold more helpful than others 3 Their inward Aids of the Holy Spirit are various He helpeth all but not all alike 4 Their Prayers and Pains to improve their Helps are various 5 Their Services and Employments and so their Occasions for Grace are various One needs more than another therefore 6 Their Sins and Provocations of God to withdraw from them are various Some fall into foul and gross Sins which others keep far from and some do more indulge carnal Affections than others do 4. Special marks of Weakness in true Grace are these Namely 1 Wavering and Desultoriness in our Promises unto God He that staggers hath weak feet he that is Up and Down one while will be the Lord's and by and by fears to Vow it he hath weak Grace 2 Suspiciousness of God's Promises unto us He hath a weak knowledge of fallible Men whoever much trusts them and he hath as weak a knowledge of God that cannot lye whoever much doubts him 3 Easiness to be scandalized or turned out of God's way by any thing we meet with By God's darker Providences as Asaph was Or by good Men's failings as Job's Friends were Or by wicked Men's instigations as poor Spira was He stands but weakly who falls easily 5. Special Marks of Truth in weak Grace be these e. gr 1 Giving glory unto God when we cannot take Comfort from him We must needs sincerely love him with whom we had rather Mourn than Rejoyce with the World And whom we Praise while he hides his face from us or frowns upon us 2 Combating on against sin even while we think at least we cannot conquer it Doing all we can against it even while all we do seems to do no good Blessed be Gospel grace it is certain we Conquer as long as we verily Fight Sin is never our Master till we do Consent to have it so But happy is the Soul that even then holds on the Conflict when he imagines that Sin hath got the Mastery 3 Making up in Root what we want in Fruit. Growing downward when we can't grow upward I mean being exceedingly Humble when we can't be so useful to God's Name in the World Abasing our selves when we cannot Exalt God otherwise 4 Lying at the Pool as weak Cripples as long as we are so Willing to have strength and waiting on God for strength and staying his time at his Gates if he makes us wait long for it Resolving to Justifie him if he never give it and to Admire and Bless him if he give it at all The poor Canaanite was sincere and came off with honour she whose first Prayer was answered with Silence and for her second Prayer was called a Dog but undaunted by both prayed on that she might have some of Christ's Kindness though it were but the share of a Dog Though it were but a Crumb and not Plenty 6. Innumerable are our Motives to seek strength of Grace Will the weakest Grace carry to Heaven what then Bread and Water will keep you alive on Earth but you do desire more a great deal Life is Life and very sweet and precious But you desire Health Strength and Beauty do you not Most do think that their Glory in Heaven will be more or less as their Grace on Earth is more or less Whether that be so or no I thus argue If you love not God you have no true Grace If you do love him how can you but crave more Vnderstanding and more Power to serve him This remember Though you do what he Accepts of you do not what he is much honoured by while you are weak His infinite Grace accepts and rewards your little one but your little one doth but sorrily Praise and Serve the Glory of his infinite one Add hereto tho' weak Saints are equally Elected Redeemed Called Justified and Adopted with the strongest yea and have equally all the Promises of the Covenant that concern the Essentials of Salvation so that the least Stars be as firmly fixed in the Firmament of Bliss as the greatest Luminaries be yet this is true God's love of Delight is greater to strong Saints than to weak and It is then greater to them when they are strong than when they are weak Natural Parents love all their Children but although they have most Pity of the Weak they have most Pleasure in the Strong And in the Strong they then have most Pleasure when they are Strongest It is no otherwise with our Heavenly Father Abraham was God's Friend by way of eminency and then when without staggering his Gigantick grace bore parting with his Isaac then above ordinary God looked on him complacentially Zanchi speaks broader than I do God's love of good-will is not Equal to all his Saints He wills more good to some Saints than unto others Which you cannot deny unless you will say that his holy Spirit 's Graces be lumber unworthy to be put in the Inventory of his Goods In a word every Believer doth wear the Garland of the Supream King's Favour but in that Garland there are special Flowers which are vouchsafed only unto strong Believers Again If you love not your selves you have not true Grace If you do love your selves your true selves and not only your earthen Shells you cannot but desire to be Men. You cannot be willing to keep in your Infancy to live all your days in the Cradle and in Swadling clothes unable to go upon your feet stumbling at every straw even when you are most carefully led by your spiritual Nurses and filling the house with your Cryes while they carry you in their Arms. Plainly you cannot but be sick of desire to have it better with you than it can be until Grace is stronger To have it better than now it is now that you conceit if you apply a Promise it is horrid Presumption and if you do not it is fatal Unbelief That if you Hope it is but Self-delusion and if you do but Doubt it is straightway Desperation That if you Repent it is a sorrow but legal and if you fall into any Sin it is no less than that which is