we repent it Euery floure hath his blossome his sauour his sappe and euerye desire should haue to féede the eye to please the wit to maintaine the roote Ganimedes maye cast an amiable countenaunce but that féedeth not Vlisses tell a wittie tale but that fatteth not Croesus bring bagges of golde and that doth both yet without the ayde of beautie he cannot bestow it and without wit he knowes not how to vse it So that I am of this minde there is no Ladye but in hir choice will be so resolute that either she will lyue a Uirgin till she haue such a one as shall haue all these thrée properties or els die for anger if she match with one that wanteth any one of them I perceiuing hir to stand so stifely thought if I might to remoue hir footing and replyed againe LAdy you nowe thinke by pollicie to start where you bounde me to aunswere by necessitie not suffering me to ioyne thrée flowers in one Nosegay but to chuse one or els to leaue all The lyke must I craue at your hands that if of force you must consent to any one whether would you haue the proper man the wise or the rich She as not without an answere quickly requited me ALthough there be no force which may compell me to take any neither a profer whereby I might chuse al Yet to aunswere you flatly I woulde haue the wealthiest for beautie without ritches goeth a begging and wit without wealth cheapneth all thinges in the Faire but buyeth nothing Truely Lady quoth I either you speake not as you thinke or you be far ouershot for me thinketh that hée that hath beautie shal haue money of ladyes for almes and he that is wittie will gette it by crafte but the rich hauing ynough and neither loued for shape nor sence must either kéepe his golde for those he knowes not and spende it on them that cares not Well aunswered Iffida so many men so many mindes now you haue my opinioÌ„ you must not think to wring me from it for I had rather be as all woemen are obstinate in mine owne conceipt then apt to be wrought to others constructions My father liked hir choyce whether it were to flatter hir or for feare to offend hir or that he loued money himselfe better then either wit or beautie And our conclusions thus ended she accompanyed with hir Gentlewomen and other hir seruauntes went to hir Uncles hauing taried a day longer with my father then she appoynted though not so many with me as she was welcome Ah Philautus what tormentes diddest thou thinke poore Fidus endured who nowe felt y e flame euen to take full holde of his heart and thinking by solytarinesse to driue away melancholy and by imagination to forget loue I laboured no otherwise then he that to haue his Horse stand stil pricketh him with the spurre or he that hauing sore eyes rubbeth them with salt water At the last with continuall abstinence from meat from company from sléepe my bodie began to consume and my head to ware idle in so much that the sustenance whiche perforce was thrust into my mouth was neuer disgested nor the talke which came from my addle braines liked For euer in my slumber me thought Iffida presented hir selfe now with a couÌ„tenaunce pleasant merry streight wayes with a coulour full of wrath and mischiefe My father no lesse sorrowfull for my disease then ignorant of the cause sent for diuers Phisitions among the which there came an Italian who féeling my pulses casting my water marking my lookes commaunded the chamber to be voyded and shutting the doore applyed this medicine to my maladye Gentleman there is none that can better heale your wounde then he that made it so that you should haue sent for Cupid not Aesculapius for although they be both Gods yet will they not meddle in each others office Appelles will not goe about to amende Lisippus caruing yet they both wrought Alexander nor Hippocrates busie himselfe with Ouids art and yet they both described Venus Your humeur is to bée purged not by Apothecaries confections but by the following of good counsaile You are in loue Fidus whiche if you couer in a close chest will burne euery place before it burst the lock For as we know by Phisick that poyson wil disperse it selfe into euery veyne before it part the hart so I haue hard by those that in loue could say somewhat that it maymeth euery parte before it kill the Lyuer If therefore you wil make me priuie to all your deuises I will procure such meanes as you shall recouer in short space otherwise if you séeke to conceale the partye and encrease your passions you shall but shorten your life and so loose your loue for whose sake you liue When I heard my Phisition so pat to hit my disease I could not dissemble with him least he shoulde bewray it neither would I in hope of remedy Unto him I discoursed the faithful loue which I bore to Iffida and described in euery perticuler as to you I haue done Which he hearing procured within one day Ladie Iffida to sée me telling my father that my disease was but a consuming Feuer which he hoped in short time to cure When my Lady came and sawe me so altered in a moneth wasted to the harde bones more like a ghoast then a liuing creature after many wordes of comfort as women want none about sicke persons when shée saw opportunitie she asked me whether the Italian were my messenger or if he were whether his embassage were true which question I thus aunswered LAdy to dissemble with the world when I am departing from it woulde profite me nothing with man and hinder me much with God to make my death-bed the place of deceipt might hasten my death and encrease my daunger I haue loued you long and nowe at the length must leaue you whose harde heart I will not impute to discurtesie but destinie it contenteth me that I dyed in faith though I could not liue in fauour neither was I euer more desiâ—ous to beginne my loue then I am nowe to ende my life Thinges which cannot be altered are to be borne not blamed follyes past are sooner remembred then redressed and time lost may well be repented but neuer recalled I will not recounte the passions I haue suffered I thinke the effect shewe them and nowe it is more behooffull for me to fall to praying for a new life then to remember the olde yet this I adde which though it merit no mercy to saue it diserueth thanks of a friend that onely I loued thée and liued for thée and now dye for thée And so turning on my left side I fetched a déepe sigh Iffyda the water standing in hir eyes clasping my hand in hirs with a sadde countenaunce aunswered me thus MY good Fidus if the encreasing of my sorrowes might mittigate the extremitie of thy sicknesse I could be content to resolue my selfe into
commaunding them both to silence willyng Euphues as Umper in these matters briefly to speake his minde Camilla and Surius are yet talking Frauncis and Philautus are not idle yet all attentiue to heare Euphues as wel for the expectation they had of his-wit as to knowe the drifte of their discourses who thus beganne the conclusion of all their speaches IT was a Law among the Persians that the Musition should not iudge the Painter nor any one meddle in that handie craft wherin he was not expert which maketh me meruayle good Madame that you should appoint him to be an Umper in Loue who neuer yet had skill in his lawes For although I séemed to consent by my silence before I knew the argument where-off you would dispute yet hearing nothing but reasons for loue I must either call backe my promise or call in your discourses and better it were in my opinion not to haue your reasons concluded then to haue them confuted But sure I am that neither a good excuse wil serue wher authoritie is rigorous nor a bad one be heard wher necessitie coÌ„pelleth But least I be longer in breaking a web than the spider is in wearing it your pardons obteined if I offend in sharpnesse and your patience graunted if molest in length I thus begin to conclude against you al not as one singular in his owne conceipt but to be tryed by your gentle constructions SVrius beginneth with Loue which procéedeth by beautie vnder the which hée comprehendeth all other vertues Lady Flauia moueth a question whether the méering of louers be tollerable Philautus commeth in with two braunches in his hande as though there were no more leaues of that trée asking whether constancie or secrecie be most to be required great hold ther hath bene who should proue his loue best when in my opinion ther is none good But such is the vanitie of youth that it thinketh nothing worthy either of commendation or coÌ„ference but onely loue whereoff they sow much reape lyttle wherein they spend all and gaine nothing whereby they runue into daungers before they wist and repent their desires before they would I dde not discommendè honest affection which is grounded vppon vertue as thè meane but disordinate fancie which is buylded vppon lust as an extremitie lust I must tearme that which is begun in an houre and ended in a minute the common loue in this our age where Ladies are courted for beautie not for vertue men loued for proportion in body not perfection in minde It fareth with Louers as with those that drincke of the riuer Iellus in Phrigia where-off sipping moderately is a medicine but swillyng with excesse it bréedeth madnesse Lycurgus set it downe for a law that wher men wer commonly dronken the Uines should be destroyed and I am of that minde that where youth are giuen to loue the meanes should be remoued For as the earth wherin the Mynes of siluer and golde are hidden is profitable for no other thing but mettals so the heart wherein loue is harboured receiueth no other séede but affection Louers séeke not those things which are most profitable but most pleasaunt resemblyng those that make garlands who choose the fairest flowers not the wholsomest and being once entangled with desire they alwayes haue the disease not vnlyke vnto the Goate who is neuer without an Ague then béeing once in they followe the note at the Nightingale which is fayd with continuall â—raining to sing to perish in hir swéete layes as they doe in their sugred lyues where is it possible either to eate or drinke or walke but he shal heare some question of loue insomuch that loue is become so common that ther is no artificer of so base a craft no clowne so simple no beggar so poore but either talketh of loue or liueth in loue when they neither know the meanes to come by it nor the wisdome to encrease it And what can be the cause of these louing wormes but onely Iolenesse But to set downe as a moderator the true perfection of loue not like as an enimie to talk of y e infection which is neither the part of my office nor pleasaunt to your eares this is my iudgement True vertuous loue is to be grounded vpon Time Reason Fauour and Uertue Time to make tryall not at y e first glaunce so to settle his minde as though he wer willyng to be caught when he might escape but so by obseruation and experience to buyld and augment his desires that he be not deceiued with beautie but perswaded with constancie Reason that all his doings and procéedings seeme not to flowe from a minde enflamed with lust but a heart kindeled with loue Fauour to delyght his eyes which are the first messengers of affection Uertue to allure the soule for the which all things are to bée destred The arguments of faith in a man are constancie not be remoued secrecie not to vtter securitie not to mistrust credulytie to beléeue in a woman patience to endure iealousie to suspect lyberalytie to bestow feruencie faithfulnesse one of the which braunches if either y e man want or the woman it may be a lyking betwéene them for the time but no loue to continue for euer Touching Surius his question whether loue come from the man or the woman it is manifest that it beginneth in both els can it not ende in both To the Lady Flauias demaund concerning company it is requisite they should méete and though they be hindered by diuers meanes yet is it impossible but that they will méete Philautus must thus thinke that constancie without secrecie auayleth little and secrecie with-out constancie profiteth lesse Thus haue I good Madame according to my simple skill in loue set downe my iudgement which you may at your Ladishippes pleasure correct for he that neuer tooke the oare in hande must not thinke scorne to be taught Well quoth the Lady you can say more if you lyst but either you feare to offende our eares or to bewray your owne follyes one maye easelye perceiue that you haue ben of late in the painters shop by the colours that sticke in your coate but at this time I wil vrge nothing though I suspect some-what Surius gaue Euphues thankes allowing his iudgement in the description of loue especially in this that he would haue a woman if she wer faithful to be also iealous which is as necessary to be required in them as coÌ„stancie Camilla smilyng sayde that Euphues was deceiued for he would haue said that men shold haue ben iealous and yet that had ben but superfluous for they are neuer other-wise Philautus thinking Camilla to vse that speach to gird him for that all y e night he viewed hir with a suspitious eye aunswered that iealousie in a man was to be pardoned bicause there is no difference in the looke of a louer that can distinguish a iealous eye from a louing Frauncis who thought hir parte not to be the
proper woman had you ben a proper work-man And so she departed Now Philautus and Euphues what a traunce was I left in who bewailing my loue was aunswered with hate or if not with hate with such a kinde of heate as almost burnt the very bowells with-in me What greater discourtesie could there possiblye rest in the minde of a Gentlewoman then with so many nippes such bitter girdes such disdainefull gliekâ—s to aunswere him that honoured hir What crueltie more vnfit for so comelye a lady then to spur him that gallopped or to let him bloud in the hart whose veyne she should haue staunched in the lyuer But it fared with me as with the hearbe Basill the which the more it is crushed the sooner it springeth or the Rew which the oftner it is cut the better it groweth or the Poppy which the more it is troden with the feete the more it flourisheth For in these extremities beaten as it were to the ground with disdaine my loue reacheth to the top of the house with hope not vnlyke vnto a Trée which though it be often felled to the harde roote yet it buddeth againe and getteth a toppe But to make an ende both of my tale and my sorrowes I will procéede onely crauing a lyttle patience if I fall into mine olde passions With that Philautus came in with his spoake saying in faith Fidus me thinketh I could neuer be weary in hearing this discourse and I feare me the ende will be too soone although I féele in my selfe the impression of thy sorrowes Yea quoth Euphues you shal finde my friend Philautus so kinde hearted that before you haue done hée will be farther in loue with hir than you were for as your Lady saide Philautus will be bounde to make loue as warden of that occupation Then Fidus Well God graunt Philautus better successe then I had which was too badde For my Father being returned from hunting and the Gentlewomen from walking the table was couered and we al set downe to dinner none more pleasaunt then Iffida which would not conclude hir myrth and I not melancholy bicause I woulde couer my sadnesse least either she might thinke me to doate or my Father suspect me to desire hir And thus we both in table talke beganne to rest She requesting me to bée hir Caruer and I not attending well to that shée craued gaue hir salt which when she receiued shée gan thus to replye IN sooth Gntle-man I seldome eate salte for feare of anger and if you giue it me in token that I want witte then will you make me cholaricke before I eate it for women be they neuer so foolish woulde euer bée thought wise I stayed not long for mine answere but as wel quickened by hir former talke and desirous to cry quittance for hir present tongue said thus If to eate store of salte cause one to fret and to haue no salte fignifiâ— lacke of witte then do you cause mée to meruaile that eating no salt you are so captious and louing no salt you are so wise when in deede so much wit is sufficient for a woman as when she is in y e raine can warne hir to come out of it You mistake your ayme quoth Iffida for such a shower may fall as did once into Danaes lappe and then that woman wer a foole that wold come out of it but it may be your mouth is out of taste therfore you were best season it with salte In déede quoth I your aunsweres are so fresh that without salte I can hardly swallow them Many nips were returned that time betwéene vs and some so bitter that I thought them to procéede rather of mallice to worke despite than of mirth to shew disport My Father very destrous to heare questions asked willed me after dinner to vse some demaunde which after grace I did in this sort Lady Iffida it is not vnlikely but y t you can answere a question as wisely as the last night you asked one wilyly I trust you wil be as ready to resolue any doubt by entreatie as I was by commaundement Ther was a Lady in Spaine who after the decease of hir Father had thrée sutors yet neuer a good Archer the one excelled in all giftes of the bodye insomuch that there coulde be nothing added to his perfection and so armed in all points as his very lookes were able to pearce the heart of any Lady especially of such a one as séemed hir selfe to haue no lesse beautie then she had personage For that as betwéene the similitude of manners there is a friendship in euery respect absolute so in the composition of the body there is a certeine loue ingendred by one looke wher both the bodies resemble each other as wouen both in one loome The other hadde nothing to commende him but a quicke wit which he had alwayes so at his will that nothing could be spoken but he would wrest it to his own purpose which wrought such delight to this Lady who was no lesse wittie than he y t you woulde haue thought a marriage to be solemnized before the match could bée talked off For there is nothing in loue more requisit or more delectable then pleasaunt and wise conference neither can there arise any storme in loue which by witte is not turned to a calme The third was a Gentleman of great possessions large reuenewes ful of money but neither the wisest that euer enioyed so much nor the properest that euer desired so much he had no plea in his sute but gylt which rubbed wel in a hoat hande is such a grease as will supple a very hard heart And who is so ignorant that knoweth not golde to be a keye for euery locke chiefly with his Lady who hir selfe was well stored and as yet infected with a desire of more that she coulde not but lende him a good countenaunce in this match Now Lady Iffida you are to determine this Spanish bargaine or if you please we wil make it an English controuersie supposing you to be the Ladye and thrée such Gentlemen to come vnto you a wooing In faith who should be the spéeder GEntleman quoth Iffida you may aunswere your owne question by your own argument if you would for if you conclude the Lady to be beautifull wittie and wealthy then no doubt she will take such a one as shold haue comelynesse of body sharpnesse of wit and store of riches Otherwise I would condempne that wit in hir which you séeme so much to commend hir selfe excelling in thrée qualyties she shold take one which was endued but with one in perfect loue the eye must be pleased the eare delyghted the heart comforted beautie causeth the one with the other wealth the third To loue onely for comelynesse were lust to lyke for wit onely madnesse to desire chiefly for goods couetousnesse and yet can there be no loue without beautie but we loath it nor without wit but we scorne it nor with out riches but
will the Scithian whippe be regarded where the sharpnesse of the sword is derided If thy lucke haue bene inforunate it is a signe thy lyuing hath not bene godly for commonlye there commeth an ill ende where there was a naughtye beginning But learne Philautus to lyue héere-after as though thou shouldest not lyue at all be constant to them that trust thée trust them that thou hast tryed dissemble not with thy friend either for feare to displease him or for mallyce to deceiue him know this that the best simples are very simple if the Phisition coulde not applye them that precious stones wer no better than Pebbles if Lapidaries did not know them that the best friend is worse than a foe if a man doe not vse him Methridate must be taken inwardlye not spread on Playsters Purgations must be vsed like drinke not lyke Bathes the counsayle of a friende must bée fastened to the minde not to the eare followed not praysed employed in good lyuing not talked off in good meaning I know Philautus we are in Englande but I would we were not not that the place is too base but that wée are too badde and God graunt thou haue done nothing which may tourne thée to discredite or me to displeasure Thou sayest thou wert of late with Camilla I feare me too late and yet perhappes too soone I haue alwayes tolde thée that she was too high for thée to clymbe and too faire for others to catch and too vertuous for any to inueigle But wilde Horses breake high Hedges though they can-not leape ouer him eager Wolues barke at the Moone though they cannot reach it and Mercurie whisteleth for Vesta though he can-not winne hir For absenting my selfe I hope they can take no cause of offence neither that I know haue I giuen any I loue not to be bold yet would I be welcome but guestes and fish say we in Athens are euer stale within thrée dayes shartly I will visite them and excuse my selfe in the meane season I thinke so well of them as it is possible for a man to thinke of women and how well that is I appeale to thée who alwayes madest them no worse then sancts in heauen and shrines in no worse place then thy heart For aunswering thy suite I am not yet so hastie for accepting thy seruice I am not imperious for in friendshippe there must be an equalâ—tie of estates and that may be in vs also a similitude of manners and that cannot vnlesse thou learne a new lesson and leaue the old vntill which time I leaue thée wishing thée wall as to my selfe Euphues THis letter was written in hast sent with speede and aunswered againe in post For Philautus séeing so good counsaile coulde not procéede of any ill conceipt thought once againe to sollycite his friend and that in such tearmes as he might be most agréeable to Euphues tune In this manner To Euphues health in body and quietnesse in minde IN Musicke there are many discords before there can be framed a Diapason and in contracting of good will many iarres before there be established afrindshippe but by these meanes the Musicke is more swéete and the amitie more sounde I haue receiued thy letter where-in there is as much good counsaile conteined as either I woulde wish or thou thy selfe coulâ—est giue but euer thou harnest on that string whiche long since was out of tune but now is broken my inconstancie Certes my good Euphues as I cannot but commende thy wisdome in making a stay of reconciliation for that thou findest so little stay in me so can I not but meruaile at thy incredulitie in not beléeuing me since y t thou séest a reformation in me But it may be thou dealest with me as the Philosopher did with his knife who being many yeares in making of it alwayes dealing by the obseruation of the starres caused it at the last to cut the harde whetstone saying that it skilled not how long things were a doing but how well they were done And thou holdest me off with many delayes vsing I know not what obseruations thinking thereby to make me a friend at last that shall laste I praise thy good meaning but I mislyke thy rigour Mée thou shalt vse in what thou wilt and doe that with a sleÌ„der twist that none can do with a tough wyth As for my being with Camilla good Euphues rubbe there no more least I winch for deny I will not that I am wrong on the withers This one thing touching my selfe I saye and before him that séeth all thinges I sweare that hereafter I will neither dissemble to delude thée nor picke quarrells to fall out with thée thou shalt finde me constant to one faithlesse to none in prayer deuout in manners reformed in life chast in words modest not framing my fancie to the humour of loue but my déeds to the rule of zeale And such a man as héeretofore merrily thou saidst I was but nowe truely thou shalt sée I am and as I know thou art Then Euphues appoint the place where wée maye méete and reconcite the minds which I confesse by mine owne follyes were seuered And if euer after this I shal séeme iealous ouer thée or blynded towards my selfe vse me as I deserue shamefully Thus attending thy spéedye aunswere for that delayes are perillous especially as my case now standeth I end thine euer to vse as thine owne Philautus EVphues séeing such spéedye returne of an other aunswere thought Philautus to be very sharps set for to recouer him and weighing with him selfe that often in marriages there haue fallen out braâ—â—â—â— where the chiefest loue shoulde be and yet againe reconciliations that none ought at any time so to loue that he shoulde finde in his heart at any time to hate Furthermore casting in his minde the good he might â—o to Philautus by his friendship and the mischiefe that might ensue by his fellowes follye aunswered him thus againe speedely as well to preuent the course he might otherwise take as also to prescribe what waâ— he shoulde take Euphues to his friend Philautus NEttells Philautus haue no prâ—ckeâ—â—â— yet they sting and words haue no pointes yet they pearre though outwardly thou protest great amendement yet oftentimes the softnesse of Wooll whiche the Seres sende sticketh so fast to the shinne that when one looketh it shoulde kéepe him warme it fetcheth bloude and thy smooth talke thy swéete promises may when I shal think to haue them perfourmed so delight me be a corosiue to destroy me But I will not cast beyond the Moone for that in all things I know there must be a meane Thou sweareth nowe that thy life shall be leade by my lyne that thou wilt giue no cause of offence by thy disorders nor take anye by my good meaning which if it be 〈◊〉 I am as willing to be thy friende as I am to be mine owne But this take for a warning if euer thou â—arre when thou shouldest iest or
and not to embrace hir in the heate of my desire then to sée fire and not to warme me in the extremitie of my colde No no Euphues thou makest loue nothing but a continuall woing if thou barre it of the effect and then is it infinite if thou allowe it and yet forbid it a perpetuall warfare and then is it intollerable From this opinion no man shall withdrawe me that the ende of fishing is catching not angling of birding taking not whistling of loue wedding not woing Otherwise it is no better then hanging Euphues smyling to sée Philautus so earnest vrged him againe in this manner WHy Philautus what harme wer it in loue if y e heart shoulde yeelde his right to the eye or the fancie his force to the care I haue read of many some I know betwéene whom ther was as feruent affection as might be that neuer desired any thing but swéet talke and continuall company at bankets at playes and other assemblies as Phrigius Pieria whose cōstant faith was such that there was neuer word nor thought of any vncleannesse Pigmalion loued his Iuory image being enamored only by y e sight why shuld not y e chast loue of others be builded rather in agréeing in heauenly meditations then temporal actions Beléeue me Philautus if thou knewest what it were to loue thou wouldest be as farre from the opiniō thou holdest as I am Philautus thinking no greater absurditie to be held in the world then this replyed before the other could ende as followeth IN déede Euphues if the king would resigne his right to his Legate then were it not amisse for the heart to yéelde to the eyes Thou knowest Euphues y t the eye is the messenger of loue not y e Master that the eare is the caryer of newes the heart the disgester Besides this suppose one haue neither eares to heare his lady speak nor eyes to sée hir beautie shall he not therefore be subiect to the impression of loue If thou answere no I can alledge diuers both deafe blinde that haue béene wounded if thou graunt it thē confesse the heart must haue his hope which is neyther séeyng nor hearing and what is the third Touching Phrigius and Peria think them both fooles in this for he that kéeketh a Hen in his house to cackle not lay or a Cocke to crow and not to treade is not vnlike vnto him y t hauing sowen his wheat neuer reapeth it or reaping it neuer thresheth it taking more pleasure to sée faire corne then to eat fine bread Pigmalion maketh against this for Venus séeing him so earnestly to loue so effectually to pray graunted him his requeste which had he not by importunate suite obtained I doubt not but he would rather haue hewed hir in péeces thē honoured hir with passions and set hir vp in some Temple for an image not kept hir in his house for a wife He y t desireth only to talke view without any further suite is not farre different from him that liketh to sée a paynted rose better then to smel to a perfect Uiolet or to heare a birde sing in a bush rather then to haue hir at home in his owne cage This will I followe that to pleade for loue and request nothing but lookes and to deserue workes and liue only by words is as one should plowe his ground neuer so we it grinde his colours and neuer paint saddle his horse and neuer ryde As they were thus communing there came from the Ladie Flauia a Gentleman who inuited them both that night to supper which they with humble thankes giuen promised to doe so and till supper time I leaue them debating their question Now Gentlewomen in this matter I would I knew your mindes and yet I can somewhat gesse at your meaninges if any of you shoulde loue a Gentleman of such perfection as you can wishe woulde it content you only to heare him to sée him daunce to marke his personage to delyght in his wit to wonder at all his qualyties desire no other solace If you like to heare his pleasant voice to sing his fine singers to play his proper personage to vndertake any exployte woulde you couet no more of your loue As good it were to be silent and think no as to blush and say I. I must néeds conclude with Philautus though I should cauil with Euphues that the ende of loue is the ful fruition of the partie beloued at all times and in all places For it cannot follow in reason that bicause the sauce is good which shold prouoke mine appetite therfore I shold forsake the meat for which it was made Beléeue me the qualities of the minde the beautie of the body either in man or woman are but sauce to whet our stomackes not meate to fill them For they that lyue by the view of beautie still looke very leane and they that séede onely vppon vertue at boorde will goe with an hungry belly to bedde But I will not craue héere in your resolute aunswere bicause betwéene them it was not determined but euery one as he lyketh and then Euphues and Philautus being now againe sent for to the Lady Flauia hir house they came presently wher they found the worthy Gentleman Surius Camilla Mistresse Frauncis with many other Gentlemē and Gentlewomē At their first entraunce doing their dutie they saluted all the company and were welcommed The Lady Flauia entertained them both very louingly thanking Philautus for his last companye saying be merry Gentleman at this time of the yeare a Uiolet is better than a Rose and so she arose and went hir waye leauing Philautus in a muse at hir wordes who before was in a maze at Camillas lookes Camilla came to Euphues in this manner I am sory Euphues that we haue no gréene Rushes considering you haue ben so great a straunger you make me almost to thinke that of you which commonly I am not accustomed to iudge of any that either you thought your selfe too good or our chéere too badde other cause of absence I cannot imagine vnlesse seing vs very idle you sought meanes to be well imployed but I pray you héerafter be bolde and those things which were amisse shall be redressed for we-wil haue Quailes to amend your cōmons and some questions to sharpen your wits so that you shal neither finde fault with your dyot for the grosenesse nor with your exercise for easinesse As for your fellow friend Philautus we are bound to him for he wold oftentimes see vs but seldome eat with vs which made vs thinke that he cared more for our company than our meate Euphues as one that knew his good aunswered hir in this wise Faire Lady it were vnséemely to strew gréene rushes for his comming whose company is not worth a straw or to accompt him a straunger whose boldnesse hath ben straunge to all those that knew him to be a straunger The small abilitie in me to requit
compared with the great chéere I receiued might happely make me refrain which is contrary to your coniecture Whether was I euer so busied in any weightie affaires which I accompted not as lost time in respect of the exercise I alwayes found in your company which maketh me thinke y t your latter obiection procéeded rather to conuince me for a truant then to manifest a truth As for the Quailes you promise me I can be content with béefe and for the questions they must be easie els shall I not aunswere them for my wit will shew with what grose dyot I haue bene brought vp so that conferring my rude replyes with my base birth you wil think that meane chéere will serue me and resonable questions deceiue me so that I shall neither finde fault for my repast nor fauour for my reasons Philautus in déede taketh as much delyght in good company as in good cates who shall aunswere for himself with that Philautus said Truly Camilla where I thinke my selfe welcome I loue to be bolde and when my stomacke is filled I care for no meat so that I hope you will not blame me if I come often and eate lyttle I do not blame you by my faith quoth Camilla you mistake me for the oftner you come the better welcome and the lesse you eate the more is saued Much talke passed which being onely as it wer a repetition of former things I omit as superfluous but this I must note that Camilla earnestly desired Surius to be acquainted with Euphues who very willingly accomplished hir request desiring Euphues for the good report he had heard of him that he would be as bold with him as with any one in England Euphues humbly shewing his duetye promised also as occasion shoulde serue to trye him It now grew toward Supper time when the table being couered and the meate serued in Lady Flauia placed Surius ouer against Camilla and Philautus next Mistres Frauncis she tooke Euphues and the rest and placed them in such order as she thought best What chéere they had I know not what talke they vsed I heard not but Supper being ended they sate still the Lady Flauia speaking as followeth GEntlemen Gentlewomen these Lenten Euenings be long and a shame it were to goe to bed colde they are and therefore follye it were to walke abroade to play at Cardes is common at Chestes tedious at Dice vnseemely with Christmas games vntimely In my opinion therefore to passe away these long nights I would haue some pastime that might be pleasaunt but not vnprofitable rare but not without reasoning so shal we all accompt the Euening wel spent be it neuer so long which otherwise would be tedious were it neuer so short Surius the best in the company therefore best worthy to aunswere and the wisest and therefore best able replyed in this manner GOod Madame you haue preuented my request with your owne for as the case now standeth there can be nothing either more agréeable to my humour or these Gentlewomens desires to vse some discourse aswell to renue olde traditions which haue ben héertosore vsed as to encrease friendship which hath ben by the meanes of certeine odde persons defaced Euery one gaue his consent with Surius yéelding the choyce of that nights pastime to the discretion of the Lady Flauia who thus proposed hir minde Your taske Surius shall be to dispute with Camilla chuse your owne argument Philautus shall argue with Mistres Frauncis Martius with my selfe And all hauing finished their discourses Euphues shal be as Iudge who hath done best and whatsoeuer he shal allot either for reward to y e worthiest or for penance to y e worst shalbe presently accoÌ„plished This liked theÌ„ al excéedingly And thus Surius with a good grace pleasant speach began to enter the listes with Camilla FAyre Lady you know I flatter not I haue read y t the sting of an Aspe were incurable had not nature giuen them dimme eyes and the beautie of a woman no lesse infectious had not nature bestowed vpon theÌ„ geÌ„tle harts which maketh me ground my reason vpon this common place that beautifull women are euer merciful if mercifull vertuous if vertuous constant if constant though no more than goddesses yet no lesse then Saintes all these things graunted I vrge my question without condition If Camilla one wounded with your beautie for vnder that name I comprehend all other vertues should sue to open his affectioÌ„ serue to trye it driue you to so narrow a point that were you neuer so incredulous he shoulde proue it yea so farre to be from suspicion of deceipt that you woulde confesse he were cleare from distrust what aunswere would you make if you gaue your consent or what excuse if you deny his curtesie Camilla who desired nothing more then to be questioning with Surius with a modest countenance yet somewhat bashfull which added more commondation to hir speach then disgrace replyed in this manner THough there be no cause noble Gentleman to suspect an iniury where a good turne hath ben receiued â—ot is it wisedome to be careful what answere be made where the questioÌ„ is difficult I haue heard that the Torteise in India when the Sunne shineth swimmeth aboue the water with hir backe being delighted with the faire weather forgetteth hir selfe vntill the heate of the Sunne so harden hir shell that she cannot sincke when she would whereby she is caught And so may it fare with me that in this good company dasplaying my mind hauing more regarde to my delight in talking then to the eares of the hearers I forget what I speake and so â—e taken insouâ—â— thing I should not vtter which happely y e itching eares of young Gentlemen would so canuas that when I wold call it in I cannot and so be caught with the Torteise when I would not Therefore if any thing be spokeÌ„ either vnwares or vniustly I am to crane pardon for both hauing but a weak memory and a worse witte which you cannot deny mée for that we saye women are to be borne with all if they offende against their wills and not much to be blamed if they trip with their wills y e one procéeding of forgetfulnesse the other of their naturall weakenesse but to the matter IF my beautie which God knowes how simple it is should entangle any with desire then should I thus think that either he were enflamed with lust rather theÌ„ loue for that he is moued by my countenaunce not enquiring of my coÌ„ditions or els that I gaue some occasion of lightnes bicause he gathereth a hope to speede wher he neuer had the heart to speak But if at the last I shold perceiue that his faith were tryed lyke gold in the fire that his affection proceded from a mind to please not froÌ„ a mouth to delude then would I either answere his loue with lyking or weane him from it by reason For I hope sir you wil not
the birdes were appoynted to méete to talke of the Eagle there was great contention at whose nest they should assemble euery one willing to haue it at his owne home one preferring the nobilitie of his birth an other the statelynesse of his building some woulde haue it for one qualitie some for an other at the last the Swallow saide they shoulde come to his nest being commonly of filth which all the Birds disdaining saide why thy house is nothing els but durt and therefore aunswered the Swallow woulde I haue talke there of the Eagle for being the basest the name of an Eagle will make it the bâ—auest And so good father may I say of thy cottage which thou séemest to account of so homely that mouing but speach of thy soueraigne it will be more like a court then a cabbin and of a prison the name of Elizabeth will make it a pallace The Image of a Prince stampt in copper goeth as currant and a Crow may try Aue Caesar with-out any rebuke The name of a Prince is like the swéete deaw which falleth as well vppon lowe shrubbes as high trées and resembleth a true Glasse wherein the poore may sée their faces with the rich or a cléere streame where-in all may drineke that are dry not they onely that are wealthy Where you adde that we should feare to moue any occasion touching talke of so noble a Prince truely our reuerence taketh away the feare of suspition The Lambe feareth not the Lion but the Wolfe the Partridge dreadeth not the Eagle but the Hawk a true and faithfull heart stand 〈◊〉 â—â— in awe of his superior whome he loueth for feare then of his Prince whom he feareth for loue A â—léere conscience néedeth no excuse nor feareth any accusation Lastly you conclude that neither art nor heart can so set foorth your noble Quéene as shée deserueth I graunt it and reioyce at it and that is the cause of our comming to sée hir whome none can sufficiently commend and yet doeth it not followe that bicause we can-not giue hir as much as shee is worthy of therefore we shoulde not owe hir any But in this we will imitate the olde paynters in Greece who drawing in their Tables the Portrature of Iuppiter were euery houre mending it but durst neuer finish it And being demaunded why they beganne that which they coulde not ende they aunswered in that we shewe him to be Iuppiter whom euerye one may beginne to paint but none can perfect In the like manner meane wée to drawe in part the praises of hir whome we cannot throughly protraye and in that wée signifie hir to be Elyzabeth Who enforceth euery man to do as much as he can when in respect of hir perfection it is nothing For as he that beholdeth the Sunne stedfastly thinking there-by to describe it more perfectly hath his eyes so daseled that he can discerne nothing so fareth it with those that séeke marueilously to praise those that are with-out the compasse of their iudgements and all comparison that the more they desire the lesse they discerne and the néerer they think themselues in good wil the farther they finde themselues off in wisdome thinking to measure that by the ynch which they cannot reache with the ell And yet father it can bée neither hurtfull to you nor hateful to your prince to heare the commendation of a straunger or to aunswer his honest request who will wish in heart no lesse glorie to hir then you doe although they can wish no more And therefore me thinketh you haue offered a little â—iâ—courtesse not to aunswere vs and to suspecte vs great iniury hauing neither might to attempt any thing which may do you harme nor mallice to reuenge where we finde helpe For mine owne part this I say and for my friend present the like I dare sweare howe boldly I cannot tell how truely I knowe that there is not any one whether he be bound by benefite or duetie or both whether linked by zeale or time or bloude or all that more humbly reuerenceth hir maiestie or meruaileth at hir wisdome or prayeth for hir long prosperous and glorious reigne then wée then whome we acknowledge none more simple and yet dare aâ—oweâ— none more faithfull Which we speake not to get seruice by flatterye but to acquite our selues of suspition by faith which is all that either a Prince can require of his subiect or a vassal yéeld to his Soueraigne and that which we â—we to your Quéene all others shoulde offer that either for feare of punishment dare not offend or for loue of vertue will not Heere olde Fidus interrupted young Euphues béeing almost induced by his talke to aunswere his request yet as one neither too credulous nor altogether mistrustfull he replyed as a friend and so wisely as he glaunced from the marke Euphues shotte at and hitte at last the white which Philautus set vp as shal appeare hereafter And thus he began MY sonnes mine age giueth me the priuilege of that terme and your honesties can-not refuse it you are too young to vnderstande matters of state and were you elder to knowe them it were not for your estates And therefore me thinketh the time were but lost in pulling Hercules shooe vppon an Infantes foote or in setting Atlas burthen on a childes shoulder or to bruse your backes with the burthen of a whole kingdome which I speake not that either I mistruth you for your reply hath fully resolued that feare or that I mallice you for my good wil may cleere me of that fault or that I dread your might for your small power cannot bring me into such a folly but that I haue learned by experience that to reason of kings or Princes hath euer bene much misliked of the wise though much desired of fooles especially where old men which should be at their beads be too busie with the court and young men which should follow their bookes be too inquisitiue in y e affaires of princes We shold not looke at y t we cannot reach nor long for that we shold not haue things aboue vs are not for vs therfore are Princes placed vnder the gods that they should not sée what they doe and we vnder princes that we might not enquire what they doe But as the foolish Eagle that séeing the Sunne coueteth to buylde hir nest in the Sunne so fond youth which viewing the glory and gorgiousnesse of the court longeth to knowe the secretes in the court But as the Eagle burneth out hir eyes with that proude lust so doth youth breake his hart with y e péeuish conceit And as Satirus not knowing what fire was would néedes imbrace it and was burned so these fond Satiri not vnderstanding what a prince is runne boldly to meddle in those matters which they know not and so féele worthely the heat they would not And therfore good Euphues and Philautus content your selues with this that to bée curious in thinges you shoulde not
enquire off if you knowe them they appertaine not vnto you if you knewe them not they cannot hinder you And let Appelles aunswere to Alexander bée an excuse for me When Alexander woulde néedes come to Appelles shop and paynt Appelles placed him at backe who going to his owne worke did not so much as cast an eye backe to sée Alexanders deuices which being well marked Alexander said thus vnto him Art not thou a cumâ—inge Painter and wilt thou not ouerlooke my picture and tel me wherin I haue done well wher-in ill whom he aunswered wisely yet merely In faith O king it is not for Appelles to enquire what Alexander hath done neither if hée shew it me to iudge how it is done and therefore did I set your Maiestie at my backe that I might not glaunce towards a kings work that you looking ouer my head might sée mine for Appelles shadowes are to be seene of AlexaÌ„der but not Alexanders of Appelles So ought we Euphues to frame our selues in al our actions deuices as though the King stoode ouer vs to behold vs not to looke what the King doth behinde vs. For whatsoeuer he painteth it is for his pleasure we must thinke for our profit for Appelles had his reward though he saw not the worke I haue heard of a Magnifico in Millaine I thinke Philautus you being an Italian doe remember it who hearing his sonne inquisitiue of the Emperours life and demeanour reprehended him sharply saying that it beséemed not one of his house to enquire how an Emperour lyued vnlesse he himselfe were an Emperour for that the behauiour and vsage of so honourable personages are not to be called in question of euery one y t doubteth but of such as are their equalls Alexander being commaunded of Philip his Father to wrastle in the games of Olympia aunswered he wold if there were a King to striue with him whereby I haue noted y t others seeme to inforce that as Kings pastimes are no playes for euery one so their secrets their counsayles their dealyngs are not to be either scanned or enquired off any way vnlesse of those that are in the lyke place or serue the lyke person I can-not tell whether it be a Canterbury tale or a Fable in Aesope but pretie it is and true in my minde That the Fore and the Woolfe gooing both a filching for foode thought it best to see whether the Lyon were a sléepe or awake least being too bolde they shoulde spéede too bad The Foxe entring into the Kings denne a King I call the Lyon brought word to the Wolfe that hée was a sléepe and went himselfe to his owne kenel the Wolfe desirous to search in the Lyons denne that hée might espy some fault or steale some praye entered boldly whom the Lyon caught in his pawes and asked what he would y e silly Wolfe an vnapt terme for a Wolfe yet fit being in a Lyons hands aunswered that vnderstanding by the Foxe he was a sléepe hée thought hée might be at lybertie to suruey his lodging vnto whom the princely Lyon with great disdayne though lyttle despite for y t ther can be no enuy in a king said thus Dost thou thinke that a Lyon thy Prince and gouernour can sleepe though he winke or darest thou enquire whether he winke or wake The Foxe had more craft then thou and thou more courage courage I wil not say but boldnesse and boldnesse is to good I may say desperatenesse but you shall both well know and to our griefes féele that neither the wilynesse of the Foxe nor the wildnesse of the Wolfe ought either to sée or to aske whether the Lyon either sléepe or wake be at home or a-broade dead or alyue For this is sufficient for you to know that ther is a Lyon not where he is or what he doth In like maÌ„ner Euphues is the gouernment of a Monarchie though homely be the comparison yet apt it is that it is neither the wise Foxe nor the malitious Wolfe should venture so farre as to learne whether the Lyon sléepe or wake in his denne whether the Prince faste or feast in his court but this should be their order to vnderstande there is a King but what he doth is for the Gods to examine whose ordinaunce he is not for men whose ouerséer he is Then how vayne is it Euphues too milde a word for so madde a minde that the foote should neglect his office to correct the face or that subiects should séeke more to know what their Princes doe then what they are where-in they shewe themselues as badde as beastes and much worse then my Bées who in my conceipt though I may séems partiall obserue more order then they and if I might say so of my good Bées more honestie honestie my olde Graundfather called y t when men liued by Law not list obseruing in all things the meane which we name vertue and Uertue we accompt nothing els but to deale iustly and temperately And if I might craue pardon I would a little acquaint you with the common wealth of my Bées which is neither impertinent to the matter we haue now in hande nor tedious to make you weary Euphues delighted with the discourses of olde Fidus was content to heare any thing so he might heare him speake some thing and consenting willinglye he desired Fidus to goe forward who now remouing himselfe néerer to the Hyues began as followeth GEntlemen I haue for the space of this twentie yeres dwelt in this place taking no delyght in any thing but onely in kéeping my Bées marking them this I finde which had I not séene I should hardly haue beleued that they vse as great wit by indution and Art by workmanship as euer man hath or can vsing betwéene them selues no lesse Iustice then wisedome yet not so much wisdome as Maiestie insomuch as thou wouldest think that they were a kinde of people a common wealth for Plato where they all labour all gather Honny flye altogether in a swarme eate in a swarme and sléepe in a swarme so neate and finely that they abhorre nothing so much as vncleannesse drinking pure and cléere water delyghting in swéete and sounde Musicke which if they heare but once out of tune they flye out of sight therfore are they called the Muses birds bicause they followe not the sound so much as the consent They lyue vnder a Law vsing great reuerence to theyr Elder as to the wiser They chuse a King whose Pallaice they frame both brauer in shew and stronger in substaunce whome if they finde to fall they establish againe in his throne with no lesse dutie then deuotion garding him continually as it were for feare he should miscarry and for loue he should not whom they tender with such faith and fauour that whether soeuer he slyeth they follow him and if he cannot flye they cary him whose life they so loue that they will not for his safetie
of his Lady thinketh himself forlorne And this vile Dog Looue will so rancle where hée biteth that I feare my Friends sure wil bréed to a Fistula for you may perceiue that he is not where he liues but wher he loues more thoughts hath he in his head thē you Bées in your hiues and better it were for him to be naked among your Waspes though his bodie were all blistered then to haue his hart stong so with affection wherby he is so blinded But beléeue mée Fidus he taketh as great delight to course a cogitation of loue as you do to vse your time w t Honny In this plight hath he bene euer since his comming out of Naples so hath it wrought with him which I hadde thought impossible that pure loue did make him seasick insomuch as in all my trauaile with him I séemed to euery one to beare with me the picture of a proper man but no liuing person the more pitie and yet no force Philautus taking Euphues tale by the end and the old man by the arme betwéene griefe and game iest earnest aunswered him thus EVPHVES would dye if he should not talke of loue once in a day and therefore you must giue him leaue after euery meale to cloase his stomack w t loue as with Marmalade and I haue heard not those that say nothing but they that kicke oftnest against loue are euer in loue yet doth he vse me as the meane to moue the matter as the man to make his Myrrour he himselfe knowing best the price of Corne not by the market folkes but his owne footesteps But if he vse this speach either to make you merry or to put me out of conceipt he doth wel you must thanke him for the one and I wil think on him for the other I haue oftentimes sworne that I am as farre from loue as he yet wil be not beléeue me as incredulous as those who thinke none balde till they see his braynes As Euphues was making answere Fidus preuented him in this manner THere is no harme done Philautus for whether you loue or Euphues lest this shall bréede no iarre It may be when I was as young as you I was as idle as you though in my opinion ther is none lesse idle then a louer For to tel the truth I my self was once a courtier in the dayes of that most noble king of famous memory Henry the eight Father to our most gratious Lady Elizabeth Where and with that he paused as though the remembraunce of his olde lyfe had stopped his new speach but Philautus itching to heare what he would say desired him to goe forward vnto whome Fidus fetching a great sigh sayd I will And there againe made a full poynt Philautus burning as it were in desire of this discourse vrged him again with great entreatie then the olde man commaunded the boord to be vncouered grace being sayd called for stooles sitting by the fire vttered the whole discourse of his loue which brought Philautus a bed and Euphues a sleepe And now Gentlemen if you wil giue eare to the tale of Fidus it may be some will be as watchful as Philautus though many as drousic as Euphues And thus he began with a heauie countenaunce as though his paines were present not past to frame his tale I Was borne in the wilde of Kent of honest parents and worshipfull whose tender cares if the fondnesse of Parents may be so termed prouided all things euen from my very cradle vntill their graues that might either bring me vpp in good letters or make me heire to great lyuings I without arrogancie be it spoken was not inferiour in wit to many which finding in my self I flattered my selfe but in the ende deceiued my selfe For being of the age of xx yeares ther was no trade or kinde of life that either fitted my humour or serued my tourne but the Court thinking that place the only meanes to climbe high and fit sure Where-in I followed the vayne of young Souldiours who iudge nothing swéeter then warre till they féele the weight I was there enterteined as wel by the great friends my father made as by mine own forwardnes wher it béeing now but Honny moone I endeuoured to Courte it with a grace almost past grace laying more on my backe then my friends could wel beare hauing many times a braue cloke and a thred bare purse Who so conuersant with the Ladyes as I who so pleasaunt who more prodigall Insomuch as I thought the time lost which was not spent either in their company with delyght or for their company in letters Among al the troup of gallant Gentlemen I singled out one in whome I mislyked nothing but his grauitie that aboue all I ment to trust who aswel for the good qualities he saw in me as the little gouernment he feared in me began one night to vtter these few words Friend Fidus if Fortune allow a terme so familiar I would I might lyue to sée thée as wise as I perceiue thée wittie then should thy lyfe be so seasoned as neither too much witte might make thée proud nor too great riot poore My acquaintance is not great with thy person but such insight haue I into thy conditions that I feare nothing so much as that there thou catch thy fall where thou thinkest to take thy rysing There belongeth more to a Courtier then brauery which the wise laugh at or personage which the chast marke not or wit which the most part sée not It is sober and discréet behauiour ciuil and gentle demenour that in court winneth both credit and commoditie which counsel thy vnripened yeres thinke to procéed rather of the malyce of Age then the good meaning To ride well is laudable and I like it to run at the tilt not amisse and I desire it to reuel much to be praysed and I haue vsed it which things as I knowe them all to be courtly so for my part I accompt them necessarie for where greatest assemblies are of noble gentlemen there should be the greatest exercise of true Nobilitie And I am not precise but that I esteme it is as expedient in feates of armes and actiuitie to employ the body as in studie to wast the minde yet so should the one bée tempered with the other as it might seeme as great a shame to be valiant and courtly without learning as to be studious and bookish with-out valure But there is an other thing Fidus which I am to warn thee off and if I might to wreast thée from not that I enuye thy estate but that I would not haue thée forget it Thou bsest too much a lyttle I thinke to be too much to dally with women which is the next waye to doate on thē For as they that angle for the Tortois hauing once caught him are driuen into such a lythernesse that they loose all their spirites being benummed so they that séeke to obtaine the good will
of Ladyes hauing once a lyttle holde of their loue they are driuen into such a traunce that they let goe the holde of their libertie bewitched like those that view the head of Medusa or the Uiper tyed to the bough of the Béech trée which kéepeth him in a dead sléepe though it beginne with a swéete slumber I my self haue tasted new wine and finde it to be more pleasant then wholesome and Grapes gathered before they be rype may set the eyes on lust but they make the téeth an edge and loue desired in the budde not knowing what the blossome were may delyght the conceiptes of the head but it will destroye the contemplature of the heart What I speake now is of méere good will and yet vppon small presumption but in things which come on the sodeine one cannot be to wary to preuent or to curious to mistrust for thou art in a place either to make thée hated for vice or loued for vertue and as thou reuerencest the one before the other so in vprightnesse of lyfe shew it Thou hast good friendes which by thy lewde delights thou maist make great enimies and heauy foes which by thy well doing thou mayste cause to be earnest arbettors of thée in matters that now they canuasse against thée And so I leaue thée meaning héereafter to beare the rayn of thy bridle in mine hands if I sée thée head strong And so he departed I gaue him great thaÌ„ks glad I was we wer parted for his putting loue into my minde was like the throwing of Buglosse into Wine which increaseth in him that drinketh it a desire of lust though it mittigate the force of dronkennesse I now fetching a windlesse that I might better haue a shoote was preuented with ready game which saued me some labour but gained me no quyet And I would gentlemen that you could féele the like impressions in your mindes at the rehearsall of my mishappe as I did passions at the entring into it If euer you loued you haue found the lyke if euer you shal loue you shal tast no lesse But he so eager of an ende as one leaping ouer a stile before he come to it desired few Parentheses or digressions or gloses but the text wher he himself was coating in the margent Then sayd Fidus thus it fell out It was my chaunce I know not whether chaunce or destenie that being inuited to a banket wher many Ladyes were and too many by one as the ende tryed though then too many by all sauing y t one as I thought I cast mine eyes so earnestly vppon hir that my heart vowed hir the mistres of my loue and so fully was I resolued to prosecute my determination as I was earnest to begin it Now Gentlemen I commit my case to your considerations being wiser then I was then and some-what as I gesse elder I was but in court a nouice hauing no friend but him before rehearsed whome in such a matter I was lykelyer to finde a bridel than a spurre I neuer before that time coulde imagine what Loue should meane but vsed the terme as a flout to others which I found now as a feuer in my selfe neither knowing from whence the occasion shoulde aryse nor where I might séeke the remedy This distresse I thought youth would haue worne out or reason or time or absence or if not euery one of them yet all But as fire getting holde in the bottome of a trée neuer leaueth till it come to the toppe or as strong poyson Antidotum being but chafed in the hand pearceth at the last the heart so loue whiche I kept but lowe thinking at my will to leaue entred at the last so farre that it helde mée conquered And then disputing with my selfe I played this on the bit Fidus it standeth thée vppon either to winne thy loue or to weane thy affections which choyce is so hard that thou canst not tell whether the victorie will be the greater in subduing thy selfe or conquering hir To loue and to liue well is wished of many but incident to fewe To liue and to loue well is incident to fewe but indifferent to all To loue without reason is an argument of lust to liue without loue a token of folly The measure of loue is to haue no meane the end to be euerlasting Thesius had no néede of Ariadnes thréed to finde the way into the Laborinth but to come out nor thou of any helpe how to fall into these brakes but to fall from them If thou be witched with eyes weare the eye of a Wesil in a ring which is an enchauntment against such charmes and reason with thy selfe whether there bée more pleasure to be accounted amorous or wise Thou art in the viewe of the whole court where the ielous will suspecteth vppon euery light occasion where of the wise thou shalt be accounted fond and the foolish amorous the Ladies themselues how-soeuer they looke will thus imagine that if thou take thought for loue thou art but a foole if take it lightly no true seruant Besides this thou art to be bound as it were an apprentice seruing seuen yeares for that which if thou winne is lost in seuen houres if thou loue thine equall it is no conquest if thy superiour thou shalt be enuyed if thine inferiour laughed at If one that is beautifull hir coulour will chaunge before thou get thy desire if one that is wise she will ouer-reache thée so farre that thou shalt neuer touch hir if vertuous she will eschue such fonde affection if one deformed she is not worthy of any affection if she be rich she néedeth thée not if poore thou néedest not hir if olde why shouldest thou loue hir if young why should she loue thée Thus Gentlemen I fed my selfe with mine owne deuices thinking by péece meaâ—e to cut off y t which I could not diminish for the more I striued with reason to conquer mine appetite the more against reason I was subdued of mine affections At the last calling to my remembrance an old rule of loue which a courtier then tolde me of whom when I demaunded what was the first thing to winne my Lady he aunswered Opportunitie asking what was the second he said Opportunitie desirous to knowe what might be the thirde he replyed Opportunitie Which answeres I marking as one that thought to take mine ayme of so cunning an Archer coniectured that to the beginning continuing an ending of loue nothing coulde be more conuenient then Opportunitie to the getting of the which I applyed my whole study and wore my wits to the stumps assuring my selfe that as there is a time when the Hare will lycke the Houndes eare and the fierce Tigresse play with the gentle Lambe so there was a certaine season when women were to be won in the which moment they haue neither will to deny nor wit to mistrust Such a time I haue read a young Gentleman found to obtaine the loue of the Duchesse of Millayne
so that I haue no néede of your Plaisters though I must néedes giue thankes for your paines And now Philautus for I sée Euphues begin to nod thou shalt vnder stande that in the middest of my replye my father with the rest of the company interrupted me saying they would fal all to some pastime which bicause it groweth late Philautus wée will deferre till the morning for age must kéepe a streight dyotte or els a sicklye lyfe Philautus tickeled in euery veyne with delyght was loath to leaue so although not willyng the good olde man should breake his accustomed houre vnto whome sléepe was the chiefest sustenaunce And so waking Euphues who had taken a nappe they all went to their lodging where I thinke Philautus was musing vppon the euent of Fidus his loue But there I will leaue them in their beddes till the next morning GEntlemen and Gentlewomen in the discourse of this loue it may séeme I haue taken a newe course but such was the time then that it was as straunge to loue as it is now common and then lesse vsed in the Court then it is now in the Countrey But hauing respect to the time past I trust you will not condeuâ—pne my present time who am inforced to sing after theyr Playnesong that was then vsed and will follow héere-after the Crochettes that are in these dayes cunningly handeled For the mindes of Louers alter with the mad moodes of the Musitions and so much are they with-in sewe yeares chaunged that we accompt their olde wooing and singing to haue so lyttle cunning that we estéeme it barbarous and wer they liuing to heare our new quoyings they would iudge it to haue so much curiositic that they would tearme it foolish In the time of Romulus all heades were rounded of his fashion in the time of Caesar curled of his manner When Cyrus lyued euerye one praysed the hooked nose and when he dyed they allowed the straight nose And so it fareth with loue in times past they vsed to wooe in playne tearmes now in picked sentences and he spéedeth best that speaketh wisest euery one following the newest way which is not euer the néerest wape some going ouer the stile when the gate is open an other kéeping the right beaten path when he may crosse ouer better by the fieldes Euery one followeth his owne fancie which maketh diuers leape shorte for want of good rising and manye shoote ouer for lacke of true ayme And to that passe it is come that they make an Arte of that which was wont to be thought naturall And thus it standeth that it is not yet determined whether in loue Vlisses more preuayled with his witte or Paris with his personage or Achilles with his prowesse For euery of them haue Venus by the hand and they are all assured and certeine to winne hir heart But I had almost forgotten the olde man who vseth not to sléepe compasse whom I sée with Euphues Philautus now already in the gardein ready to procéed with his tale which if it séeme tedious we will breake off againe when they goe to dinner FIdus callyng these Gentlemen vp brought them into his garden wher vnder a swéet Arbour of Eglantine the birdes recording their swéete notes he also strayned his olde pipe and thus began GEntlemen yester night I left off abruptly and therefore I must begin in the lyke manner My Father placed vs all in good order requesting either by questions to whet our wits or by storyes to try our memoryes Iffida y t might best ther be bolde being the best in the company at al assayes too good for me began againe to preach in this manner Thou art a Courtier Fidus and therefore best able to resolue any questioÌ„ for I know thy wit good to vnderstande and readye to aunswere to thée therefore I addresse my talke THere was some time in Sienna a Magnifico whom God blessed with thrée daughters but by thrée wiues and of thrée sundry qualyties the eldest was very faire but a very foole the seconde meruaylous wittie but yet meruailous wanton the third as vertuons as any liuing but more deformed then any that euer lyued The noble Gentleman their father disputed for the bestowing of them with himselfe thus I thanke the Gods that haue giuen me thrée daughters who in their bosomes carry their dowries insomuch as I shall not néede to disburse one Myte for all them mariages Maidens be they neuer so foolysh yet béeing faire they are commonly fortunate for that men in these dayes haue more respect to the outward shew then the in ward substaunce wherein they imitate good Lapidaries who chuse the stones that delyght the eye measuring the value not by the hidden vertue but by the outwarde glistering or wise Painters who laye their best coulours vpon their worst counterfeit And in this me thinketh Nature hath dealte indifferently that a foole whom euery one abhorreth shold haue beautie which euery one desireth that the ercellency of the one might excuse the vanitie of the other for as wée in nothing more differ from the Gods then when we are fooles so in nothing do we come néere them so much as when we are amiable This caused Helen to be snatched vp for a Starre and Ariadne to be placed in the Heauens not that they were wise but faire fitter to adde a Maiestie to the Skie then beare a Maiestie in Earth Iuno for all hir iealousie beholding Iò wished to be no Goddesse so she might be so gallaunt Loue commeth in at the eye not at the care by séeing Natures workes not by hearing womens words And such effects pleasure doth sight bring vnto us that diuers haue liued by looking on faire and beautiful pictures desiring no meat nor hearkning to any Musicke What made the Gods so often to trewant from Heauen mych héere on earth but beautie What made men to imagine y t the Firmament was god but y e beautie which is said to be witch the wise and enchant them that made it Pigmalion for beautie loued an Image of Iuory Appelles the counterfeite of Campaspe and none we have heard off so sencelesse that the name of beautie cannot either breake or bende It is this only that Princes desire in their houses Gardeins Orchards and Beddes following Alexander who more estéemed the face of Venus not yet finished then the Table of the nyne Muses perfected And I am of that minde that there can be nothing giuen vnto mortall men by the immortall Gods either more noble or more necessarie then beautie For as when the counterfait of Ganimedes was showen at a market euery one woulde faine buye it bicause Zeuxis had therein shewed his greatest cunning so when a beautifull woman appeareth in a multitude euery man is drawne to sue to hir for that the Gods the onely Painters of beautie haue in hir expressed the art of their Deitie But I wil héere rest my selfe knowing that if I shoulde runne so
as small regard of Religion as he had of chastitie And bicause I will not feede you with delayes nor that you shoulde comfort your selfe with triall take this for a flatte aunswere that as yet I meane not to loue any and if I doe it is not you and so I leaue you But once againe I stayed hir stepps being nowe throughly heated as well with loue as with cholar and thus I thundered IF I had vsed the policie that hunters doe in catching of Hiena it might be also I had nowe won you but comming of the right side I am entangled my selfe had it ben on the left side I should haue inueigled thée Is this the guerdon for good will is this the courtesie of Ladies the life of Courtiers the foode of louers Ah Iffida little doest thou knowe the force of affection therefore thou rewardest it lightly neither shewing curtesie lyke a Louer nor giuing thankes like a Lady If I shoulde compare my bloude with thy birth I am as noble if my wealth with thine as rich if confer qualities not much inferiour but in good will as farre aboue thee as thou art beyond me in pride Doest thou disdaine me bicause thou art beautiful why coulours fade when courtesie flourisheth Doest thou reiect me for that thou art wise why wit hauing tolde all his cardes lacketh many an ace of wisedome But this is incident to women to loue those that leaste rare for them and to hate those that most desire them making a stacke of that which they should vse for a stomacher And séeing it is so better lost they are with a little grudge then found with much griefe better solde for sorrow then bought for repentaunce and better to make no accompt of loue then an occupation Where all ones seruice be it neuer so great is neuer thought inough when were it neuer so little it is too much When I had thus raged she thus replyed FIdus you goe the wrong way to the Woode in making a gappe when the gate is open or in séeking to enter by force when your next way lyeth by fauour Wherein you followe the humour of Aiax who loosing Achilles shielde by reason thought to winne it againe by rage but it fell out with him as it doth commonly with all those that are cholarike that he hurt no man but himself neither haue you moued any to offence but your selfe And in my minde though simple be the comparison yet séemely it is that your anger is like the wrangling of children who when they cannot gette what they woulde haue by playe they fal to crying not vnlyke the vse of foule gamsters who hauing loste the maine by true iudgment think to face it out with a false oath and you missing of my loue which you required in sport determine to hit it by spite If you haue a commission to take vp Ladies let me sée it If a priuiledge let me know it if a custome I meane to breake it You talke of your birth when I knowe there is no difference of bloods in a basen and as little doe I estéeme those that boast of their auncestours and haue themselues no vertue as I do of those that crake of their loue and haue no modestie I knowe Nature hath prouided and I thinke our lawes allow it that one may loue when they sée their time not that they must loue when others appoint it Where as you bring in a rabble of reasons as it were to binde mée agaynst my will I aunswere that in all respectes I thinke you so farre to exdell me that I cannot finde in my heart to match with you For one of so great good will as you are to encounter with one of such â—eide as I am were neither commendable nor conuenient no more then a patch of Fustion in a Damasiâ—e â—oase As for my beauty and wit I had rather make them better then they are being now but meane by vertue then worse then they are which would then he nothing by loue Now where as you bring in I. knowe not by what peoofe for I thinke you were neuer so much of womens counsells that there women best like where they be least beloued then ought they more to pittye vs not to oppresse vs séeing we haue neither frée will to chuse nor fortune to enioy Then Fidus since your eyes are so sharpe that you cannot onely looke through a Milstone but cleane through the minde and so cunning that you can leuel at the dispositions of women whom you neuer knew me thinketh you should vse the meane if you desire to haue the ende whiche is to hate those whome you would faine haue to loue you for this haue you set for a rule yet out of square that woemen then loue moste when they be loathed most And to the ende I might stoope to your lure I pray begin to hate me that I may loue you Touching your loosing and finding your buying and selling it much skilleth not for I had rather you shoulde loose me so you might neuer finde me againe then finde mee that I shoulde thinke my selfe lost And rather had I be solde of you for a penny then bought for you with a pounde If you meane either to make an Art or an Occupation of Loue I doubt not but you shall finde worke in the Court sufficient but you shall not knowe the length of my foote vntill by your cunning you get commendation A Phrase nowe there is which belongeth to your Shoppe boorde that is to make loue and when I shall heare of what fashion it is made if I like the pattorne you shal cut me a partlet so as you cut it not with a paire of left handed shéeres And I doubt not though you haue marred your first loue in the making yet by the time you haue made thrée or foure loues you will proue an expert workman for as yet you are lyke the Taylours boy who thinketh to take measure before he can handle the shéeres And thus I protest vnto you bicause you are but a young beginner that I will helpe you to as much custome as I can so as you wil promise me to sow no false stitches and when mine olde loue is worne threadbare you shall take measure of a newe In the meaneseason do not discourage your self Appelles was no good Painter the first day For in euerye occupation one must first endeauour to beginne He that will sell lawne must learne to folde it and he that will make loue must learne first to court it As she was in this vaine very pleasaunt so I thinke she woulde haue bene very long had not the Gentlewoemen called hir to walke being so saire a daye then taking hir leaue very curteously she left me alone yet turning againe she sayd will you not man vs Fidus béeing so proper a man Yes quoth I and with-out asking too had you ben a proper woman Then smiling the said you should finde me a
teares to ridde thée of trouble but the making of a fresh woūd in my body is nothing to the healing of a festred sore in thy bowells for that such diseases are to be cured in the end by the meanes of their Original For as by Basil the Scorpion is engendred and by the meanes of the same hearb destroyed so loue which by time and fancie is bred in an idle head is by time and fancie banished from the hart or as y e Salamander which being a long space nourished in the fire at the last quencheth it so affection hauing taken hold of the fancie and liuing as it were in the minde of the louer in tract of time altereth and chaungeth the heate and turneth it to chilnesse It is no small griefe to me Fidus that I shoulde bée thought to be the cause of thy languishing and can-not be remedy of thy disease For vnto thée I will reueale more then either wisedome woulde allowe or my modestie permit And yet so muche as may acquite me of vngratitude towards thée and ridde thée of the suspition conceiued of me SO it is Fidus and my good friende that about a two yeares past there was in court a Gentleman not vnknowne vnto thée nor I thinke vnbeloued of thée whose name I will not conceale leaste thou shouldest either thinke me to forge or him not worthy to be named This Gentleman was called Thirsus in all respects so well qualyfied as had he not bene in loue with me I should haue bene enamoured of him But his hastinesse preuented my heat who began to sue for y t which I was ready to proffer whose swéete tale although I wished it to be true yet at the first I coulde not beléeue it For that men in matters of loue haue as many wayes to deceiue as they haue words to vtter I séemed straight laced as one neither accustomed to such suites nor willing to entertain such a seruant yet to warily as putting him from me with my little finger I drew him to me with my whole hand For I stoode in a great mammering how I might behaue my selfe least béeing too coye he might thinke me proude or vsing too much curtesie he might iudge me wanton Thus long time I held him in a doubt thinking thereby to haue iust triall of his faith or plaine knowledge of his falshoode In this manner I lead my life almost one yeare vntill w t often méeting diuers conferences I felt my selfe so wounded that though I thought no heauen to my happe yet I lyued as it wer in hell til I had enioyed my hope For as the trée Ebenus though it no way be set in a flame yet it burneth with swéete sauours so my minde though it could not be fired for that I thought my selfe wise yet was it almost consumed to ashes with pleasant delights swéet cogitations insomuch as it fared with me as it doth with y e trées striken with thūder which hauing the barkes sound are brused in the body for finding my outwarde partes with-out blemish looking into my minde could not sée it without blowes I nowe perceiuing it high time to vse the Phisition who was alwayes at hand determined at the next méeting to conclude such a faithful and inuiolable league of loue as neither the length of time nor the distaunce of place nor the threatning of friendes nor the spight of Fortune nor the feare of death shouldh either alter or diminish which accordingly was then finished and hath hetherto bene truly fulfilled Thirsus as thou knowest hath euer since bene beyond the Seas the remembraunce of whose constancie is the onely comfort of my lyfe neither doe I reioyce in any thing more then in the faith of my good Thirsus Then Fidus I appeale in this case to thy honestie which shall determine of mine honour Wouldest thou haue me inconstant to mine olde friend and faithfull to a newe Knowest thou not that as the Almond trée beareth most fruit when he is olde so loue hath greatest faith when it groweth in age It falleth out in loue as if doth in vines for the young Uines bring the most wine but the olde the best So tender loue maketh greatest showe of blossomes but tryed loue bringeth foorth swéetest iuyce And yet I wil say thus much not to adde courage to thy attempts that I haue taken as great delyght in thy company as euer I did in anyes my Thirsus onely excepted which was the cause that oftentimes I would either by questions moue thée to talke or by quarrells incense thée to cholar perceiuing in thée a witte aunswerable to my desire which I thought throughly to whette by some discourse But wert thou in comelynesse Alexander and my Thirsus Thirsites wert thou Vlysses hée Mydas thou Croesus he Codrus I would not forsake him to haue thée no not if I might there-by prolong thy lyfe or saue mine owne so fast a roote hath true loue taken in my heart that the more it is digged at the déeper it groweth the oftner it is cut the lesse it bléedeth and the more it is loaden the better it beareth What is ther in this vile earth that more commendeth a woman than constancie It is neither his witte though it be excellent that I estéeme neither his birthe though it be noble nor his bringing vp which hath alwayes bene courtlye but onely his constancie and my faith which no torments no tyrant not death shall dissolue For neuer shall it be sayd that Iffida was false to Thirsus though Thirsus be faithlesse which the Gods forfend vnto Iffida For as Amulius the cunning Painter so portrayed Minerua that which way soeuer one cast his eye shée alwayes behelde him so hath Cupide so exquisitly drawn the Image of Thirsus in my heart that what waye soeuer I glaunce me thinketh he looketh stedfastlye vppon me insomuch that when I haue séene any to gaze on my beautie simple God wot though it bée I haue wished to haue the eyes of Augustus Caesar to dimme their sights with the sharpe and scortching beames Such force hath time and triall wrought that if Thirsus should dye I would be buryed with him imitating the Eagle which Sesta a Uirgin brought vp who séeing the bones of the virgin cast into the fire threw him selfe in with them and burnt himselfe with them Or Hippocrates Twinnes who wer borne together laughed together wept together and dyed together For as Alexander would be engrauen of no one man in a precious stone but onely of Pergotales so would I haue my picture imprinted in no heart but in his by Thirsus Consider with thy selfe Fidus that a faire woman with out constancie is not vnlyke vnto a gréene trée without fruit resemblyng the Counterfait that Praxitiles made for Flora before the which if one stoode directly if séemed to wéepe if on the left side to laugh if on the other side to sléepe wherby he noted the light behauiour of hir which could not in one constant
forgiue thée for I must beléeue thée if for the whole world Behold England where Camilla was borne the flower of curtesie the picture of comlynesse one that shameth Venus being some-what fayrer but much more vertuous and stayneth Diana béeing as chast but much more amiable I but Philautus the more beautie she hath the more pride and the more vertue the more precisenes The Pecock is a birde for none but Iuno the Doue for none but Vesta None must weare Venus in a Tablet but Alexander none Pallas in a ring but Vlisses For as ther is but one Phoenix in the world so is ther but one trée in Arabia wherin she buildeth as there is but one Camilla to be harde off so is there but one Caesar that she wil like off Why then Philautus what resteth for thée but to dye with patience séeing thou maist not liue with pleasure Whē thy disease is so daungerous that the third letting of blood is not able to recouer thée whē neither Ariadnes thrid nor Sibillas vough nor Medeas séede may remedy thy griefe Dye dye Philautus rather with a secret scarre then an open scorne Patroclus cannot maske in Achilles armour without a maime nor Philautus in the Englishe Court without a mocke I but there is no Pearle so harde but Uineger breaketh it no Diamond so stony but bloude mollyfieth no heart so stiffe but loue weakeneth it And what then Bicause she may loue one is it necessary shée should loue thée Be there not infinite in Englande who as farre excéede thée in wealth as she doth all the Italians in wisedome and are as farre aboue thée in all qualyties of the bodye as she is aboue them in all gifts of the minde Doest thou not sée euerye minuite the noble youth of Englande frequent the Court with no lesse courage then thou cowardise If Courtlye brauerye may allure hir who more gallaunt then they If personage who more valyaunt If witte who more sharpe if byrth who more noble if Uertue who more deuoute When there are all thinges in them that shoulde delyght a Ladye and no one thing in thée that is in them with what face Philautus canst thou desire which they cannot deserue or with what seruice deserue that which so many desire before thée The more beautie Camalla hath the lesse hope shouldest thou haue and thinke not but the bayte that caught thée hath beguiled other Englishe-men or now Infants they can loue neither so harde harted to despise it nor so simple not to discerne it It is likely then Philautus that the Fox will lette the Grapes hang for the Goose or the English-man bequeath beautie to the Italian No no Philautus assure thy selfe there is no Venus but she hath hir Temple where on the one side Vulcan may knocke but Mars shall eater no Sainct but hath hir shrine and he that cannot wynne with a Pater Noster must offer a penny And as rare it is to sée the Sunne without a light as a faire woman without a louer and as néere is Fancie to beautie as the pricke to the Rose as the stalke to the rinde as the earth to the roote Doest thou not thinke that hourely shée is serued and sued vnto of thy betters in byrth thy equales in welth thy inferiors in no respect If then she haue giuen hir faith darest thou call hir honour into suspition of falshod If she refuse such vaine delights wilt thou bring hir wisdome into the compasse of folly If she loue so beautifull a péece then will she not bée vnconstant If she vow virginity so chast a Lady cannot be periured and of two things the one of these must bée true that either hir minde is already so weaned from loue that she is not to be moued or so setled in loue that she is not to be remoued I but it may be that so younge and tender a hearte hath not yet felt the impression of loue I but it cannot be that so rare perfection shoulde want that which they all wish affection A Rose is swéeter in the budde then full blowne Young twigges are sooner bent then old trées White Snow sooner melted then harde Yce whiche proueth that the younger she is the sooner she is to bée wooed and the fayrer she is the likelier to be wonne Who will not runne with Atlanta though he be lame Who would not wrastle with Cleopatra though he wer sicke Who feareth to loue Camilla though hée were blynde Ah beautie such is thy force that Vulcan courteth Venus she for comelynesse a Goddesse he for vglynesse a diuell more fit to strike with a hammer in his forge then to holde a Lute in thy chamber Whether dost thou wade Philautus in launcing the wound thou shouldest taint and prtcking the hart which asketh a Plaister for in decyphering what she is thou hast forgotten what thou thy selfe art and being dazeled with hir beautie thou séest not thine owne basenesse Thou art an Italian poore Philautus as much mislyked for the vice of thy Countrey as she meruailed at for the vertue of hirs and with no lesse shame doest thou heare than know with griefe how if any Englishman be infected with any misdemeanour they say with one mouth he is Italionated so odious is that Nation to this that the very man is no lesse hated for the name then y e countrey for the manners O Italy I must loue thée bicause I was borne in thée but if the infection of the aire be such as whosouer bréed in thée is poysoned by thée then had I rather be a Bastard to the Turke Ottomo then heyre to the Emperour Nero. Thou which héeretofore wast most famous for victoryes art become most infamous by thy vices as much disoained now for thy beastlynesse in peace as once feared for thy battailes in warre thy Caesar béeing turned to a Uicar thy Consulls to Cardinalls thy sacred Senate of thrée hundred graue Counsaylours to a shamelesse Sinode of thrée thousand gréedy Caterpillers Wher ther is no vice punished no vertue praised wher none is long loued if he doe not ill where none shall be loued if he doe well But I leaue to name thy sinnes which no Ciphers can number and I would I were as frée from the infection of some of them as I am farre from y e reckoning of all of them or would I were as much enuied for good as thou art pitied for ill Philautus would thou haddest neuer lyued in Naples or neuer left it What new skirmishes doest thou nowe féele betweene reason and appetite loue and wisedome daunger and desire Shall I goe and attire my selfe in costlye apparayle tush a faire pearle in a Murrians eare cannot make him white Shal I ruffle in new deuices with chaines with Bracelettes with Rings and Robes tush the precious Stones of Mansolus Sepulcher can-not make the dead carcasse swéete Shal I curle my hayre colour my face counterfaite courtlynesse tush there is no painting can make a picture sensible No
oftentimes droÌ„ken I see thy humour is loue thy quarrell iealousie the one I gather by thine addle head the other by thy suspitious nature but I leaue them both to thy will and thée to thine owne wickednesse Pretely to cloke thine owne folly thou callest me theese first not vnlyke vnto a curst wife who deseruing a checke beginneth first to scolde Ther is nothing that can cure the Kings euills but a Prince nothing ease a pluriste but letting bloud nothing purge thy humour but that which I can-not giue thée nor thou get of any other lybertie Thou seemest to colour craft by a friendly kindnesse taking great care for my bondage that I might not distrust thy follyes which is as though the Thrush in the cage should be sory for the Nightingale which singeth on the tree or the Beare at the stake lament the mishap of the Lyon in the forrest But in truth Philautus though thy skin shew thée a Fore thy lyttle skill tryeth thée a Shéepe It is not the coulour that commendeth a good Painter but the good countenaunce nor the cutting that valueth y e Diamond but the vertue nor the glose of the tongue that tryeth a friend but the saith For as all coynes are not good that haue the Image of Caesar nor all golde that are coyned with the Kings stampe so al is not truth that beareth the show of godlinesse nor all friends that beare a faire face if thou pretend such loue to Euphues cary thy heart on the backe of thy hand and thy tongue in the palme that I may sée what is in thy minde and thou with thy fingers claspe thy mouth Of a straunger I can beare much bicause I know not his manners of an enimy more for that all procéedeth of mallyce al things of a friend if it be to trye me nothing if it be to betray me I am of Scipios minde who had rather that Hanniball shoulde eate his heart with salt than Laelius grieue it with vnkindenesse and of the like with Laelius who chose rather to be slaine with the Spaniards then suspected of Scipio I can better take a blister of a Nettle than a prick of a Rose more willing that a Rauen shoulde pecke out mine eyes than a Turtle pecke at them To dye of the meate one lyketh not is better then to â—urfette of that he loueth I had rather an enimy should bury me quicke than a friend belye me when I am dead But thy friendship Philautus is like a newe fashion which being vsed in the morning is accounted old before noone which varietie of chaunging being oftentimes noted of a graue Gentleman of Naples who hauing bought a Hat of the newest fashion and best blocke in all Italy and wearing it but one day it was told him that it was stale he hung it vp in his studie and biewing al sorts al shapes perceiued at the last his old Hat againe to come into the new fashion where-with smilyng to himselfe he sayd I haue now liued compasse for Adams olde Apron must make Eue a new Kirtle noting this that when no new thing could be deuised nothing could be more newe than the olde I speake this to this ende Philautus that I sée thée as often chaunge thy head as others doe their hats now being friend to Aiax bicause he should couer thee with his buckler now to Vlisses y t he may pleade for thée with his eloquence now to one and now to an other and thou dealest with thy friendes as that Gentleman did with his felt for séeing not my vaine aunswerable to thy vanities thou goest about but yet the néerest way to hang me vp for holy dayes as one either fitting thy head nor pleasing thy humour but when Philautus thou shalt sée that chaunge of friendships shal make thée a fat Calfe a leane Cofer y t there is no more holde in a new friend then a new fashion that hats alter as fast as the Turner can turne his blocke and hearts as soone as one can tourne his backe when seeing euery one retourne to his olde wearing finde it the best then compelled rather for want of others than good will of me thou wilt retire to Euphues whom thou laydst by the walls séeke him as a new friend saying to thy self I haue liued compasse Euphues olde faith must make Philautus a newe friend Wherin thou resemblest those that at y e first comming of new Wine leaue the olde yet finding that Grape more pleasaunt then wholesome they begin to say as Callâ—stines did to Alexander y t he had rather carrous old graines with Diogiâ—es in his dish then new Grapes with Alexander in his standing cup for of all Gods sayd he I loue not Aesculapius But thou art willyng to chaunge els wouldest thou be vnwilling to quarrell thou kéepest onelye company out of my sight with Reynaldo thy countreyman which I suspecting cencealed and now prouing it doe not care if he haue better deserued y e name of a friend than I god knoweth but as Achilles shteld being lost on y e Seas by Vlisses was tost by the Sea to the Tombe of Aiax as a manifest token of his right so thou being forsaken of Reynaldo wilt be found in Athens by Euphues dore as the true owner Which I speake not as one loath to loose thée but carefull thou loose not thy selfe Thou thinkest an Apple may please a childe and euery odde aunswere appease a friend No Philautus a Plaister is smal amends for a broken head a bad ercuse will not purge an ill accuser A Friende is long a getting and soone lost lyke a Merchaunts riches who by tempest looseth as much in two houres as hée hath gathered together in twentie yeares Nothing so fast knit as glasse yet once broken it can neuer be ioyned nothing fuller of mettall than stéele yet ouer heated it will neuer be hardened friendship is the best pearle but by disdaine throwne into vineger it bursteth rather in péeces then it will boowe to any softnesse It is a salt Fish that water cannot make fresh swéet honny that is not made bitter with gal hard golde that is not to be mollyffed with fire and a miraculous friend that is not made an enemye w t contempt But giue me leaue to examine the cause of thy discourse to the quicke and omitting the circumstaunce I will to the substaunce The only thing thou layest to my charge is loue and that is a good ornament the reasons to proue it is my praysing of women but that is no good argument Am I in loue Philautus with whome it shoulde be thou canst not coniecture and that it shold not be with thée thou giuest occasion Priamus began to be iealous of Hecuba when hée knew none did loue hir but when he loued manye and thou of me when thou art assured I loue none but thou thy self euery one but whether I loue or no I caÌ„not liue in quyet vnlesse I be fit for
thy dyet wherein thou doest imitate Scyron and Procustes who framing a bedde of brasse to their own bignes caused it to be placed as a lodging for al passengers insomuch that none could trauel y e way but he was enforced to take measure of their shéets if he were too long for the bedde they cut off his legs for catching cold it was no place for a longis if to short they racked him at length it was no pallet for a dwarfe and certes Philautus they are no lesse to be discommeÌ„ded for their crueltie then thou for thy folly For in like manner hast thou built a bed in thine owne brains wherin cuery one must be of thy length if he loue thou cuttest him shorter either with some odde deuise or graue counsell swearing rather then thou wouldest not be beléeued that Protagines protraid Venus with a sponge sprinkled with swéete water but if once she wrong it it would droppe blood that hir Iuorie Combe woulde at the first tickle y e haires but at the last turne all the haires into Aoders so that nothing is more hateful then loue If he loue not then stretchest out like a Wyre-drawer making a wire as long as thy finger longer then thine arme pulling on with y e pincers with the Shoemaker a little shoe on a great foote till thou cracke thy credite as he doth his stitches alleadging that loue followeth a good wit as â—he shadow doth the body and as requisite for a GentlemaÌ„ as steele in a weapon A wit sayest thou without loue is like an Egge without salte and a Courtier voyde of affection like salt without sauour Then as one pleasing thy selfe in thyne owne humour or playing with others for thine owne pleasure thou rollest all thy wits to sifte Loue from lust as the Baker doth the branne from the flower bringing in Venus with a Torteyse vnder hir foote as slow to harmes hir Chariot orawen with white Swannes as the cognisance of Vesta hir Birds to bée Pigeons noting pietie with as many inuentions to make Venus currant as the Ladyes vse slights in Italy to make themselues counterfaite Thus with y e Aegyptian thou playest fast or loose so that there is nothing more certeine then that thou wilt loue and nothing more vncerteine then when tourning at one time thy tayle to the winde with the Hedg-hogge thy nose in the winde with the Weather-cocke in one gale both hoysing saile and weighing Anker with one breath making an Alarme and a Parly discharging in the same instant both a Bullet a falfe fire Thou hast rackt me curtald me somtimes I was too loÌ„g somtimes too short now too big then too litle so that I must néeds think thy bedde monstrous or my body either thy braynes out of temper or my wits out of tune insomuch as I can liken thy head to Mercuris pipe who with one stoppe caused Argus to stare and winke If this fault be in thy nature counsell can do little good if in thy disease phisicke canne doe lesse for nature will haue hir course so that perswasions are néedelesse and such a malady in the Marrowe will neuer out of the bones so that medicines are bootelesse Thou sayest that all this is for loue and that I being thy friend thou art loth to wink at my folly truely I say with Tully with faire wordes thou shalt yet perswade me for eâ—perience teacheth me that straight trées haue crooked rootes smooth baytes sharpe hooks that the fayrer the stone is in the Toads head y e more pestilent the poyson is in hir bowells that talke the more it is seasoned with fiue phrases the lesse it sauoureth of true meaning It is a mad Hare that will be caught with a Taber and a foolish bird that stayeth the laying salt on hir taile and a blind Goose that coÌ„meth to the Foxes sermon Euphues is not intangled with Philautus charmes If all were in iest it was to broad weighing y e place if in earnest to bad considâ—ring the persoÌ„ if to try thy wit it was solly to be so hot if thy friendship mallice to be so hastie Hast thou not read since thy coÌ„ming into England a pretie discourse of one Phialo coÌ„cerning the rebuking of a friend Whose reasons although they were but few yet were they sufficient and if thou desire more I coulde rehearse infinite But thou art like the Epicure whose belly is sooner filled then his eye For he coueteth to haue twentie dishes at his table when he cannot disgest one in his stomacke and thou desirest many reasoÌ„s to be brought wheÌ„ one might serue thy turne thinking it no Rayne-bowe that hath all coulours nor auncient armoury that are not quartered with sundry coates nor perfect rules that haue not a thousand reasons and of al the reasons wold thou wouldest follow but one not to checke thy friend in a brauerie knowing that rebukes ought not to weigh a graine more of salt then suger but to be so tempered as like pepper they might be hoat in y e mouth but like triacle wholsome at the heart so shal they at the first make one blush if he were pale and well considered better if he were not past grace If a friende offende he is to bée whipped with a good Nurses rodde who when hir childe will not be still giueth it together both the twig and the teate and bringeth it a sleepe when it is wayward aswell with rocking it as rating it The admonition of a true friend should be like the practise of a wise Phisition who wrappeth his sharpe pils in fine Suger or the cunning Chyrurgian who lauÌ„â—ing y e wound w t an yron immediatly applyeth to it soft lint or as mothers deale with their children for wormes who put their bitter séedes into swéete reasons if this order had béene obserued in thy discourse that enterlasing sowre tauntes with sugred counsell bearyng as well a gentle rayne as vsing a harde snaffle thou mightest haue done more with the whiske of a wande then nowe thou canst with the pricke of a spurre and auoyded that which now thou maist not extreame vnkyndenesse But thou art lyke that kinde Iudge which Propertius noteth who condemning his friende caused him for the more ease to be hanged with a silken twist And thou like a friend cuttest my throat w t a Rasor not with a hatchet for my more honor But why shold I set down the office of a friend when thou like our Athenians knowest what thou shouldest doe but like them neuer dost it Thou saiest I eat mine own words in praysing women no Philautus I was neuer either so wicked or so witlesse to recant truethes or mistake coulours But this I say that the Ladyes in England as farre excell al other countryes in vertue as Venus doth all other woemen in beautie I flatter not those of whome I hope to reape benefit neither yet so prayse them but that I think them women there is no sword made of stéele
by pollicie nor the valiaunt by strength Iulius Caesar a noble Conquerer in warre a graue Counsaylour in peace after he had subdued Fraunce Germanie Britaine Spaine Italie Thessalia Aegypt yea entered with no lesse puissaunce then good fortune into Armenia into Pontus into Africa yéelded in his chiefest victories to loue Psellus as a thing fit for Caesar who coÌ„quered all thinges sauing himselfe and a déeper wound did the smal Arrow of Cupid make then all the speares of his enimies Hanniball not lesse valiaunt in armes nor more fortunate in loue hauing spoyled Ticinum Trebia Trasmena and Cannas submitted himselfe in Apulia to the loue of a woman whose hate was a terrour to al men and became so bewitched that neither the feare of death nor the desire of glory could remoue him from the lappe of his louer I omitte Hercules who was constrayned to vse a distaffe for the desire of his loue Leander who ventured to crosse the Seas for Hero Iphis that hanged himselfe Pyramus that killed himselfe and infinite more which could not resist the hot skirmishes of affection And so farre hath this humour crept into the minde that Biblis loued hir brother Myrra hir Father Canace hir nephew Insomuch as there is no reason to be giuen for so straunge a griefe nor no remedy so vnlawfull but is to be sought for so monstrous a disease My disease is straunge I my selfe a straunger my suite no lesse straunge then my name yet least I be tedious in a thing that requireth haste giue eare to my tale I Haue hearde oftentimes that in Loue there are thrée thinges for to be vsed if time serue violence if wealth be great golde if necessitie compell â—orcerie But of these thrée but one can stande mée in stéede the last but not the least which is able to worke the mindes of all women like war when the other can scarse winde them like with Medicines there are that can bring it to passe men there are that haue some by potions some by verses some by dreames all by deceite the cnsamples were tedious to recite and you know theÌ„ the meanes I come to learne and you can giue them which is the onely cause of my comming and may be the occasion of my pleasure and certainely the way both for your praise and profite Whether it be an enchaunted lease a verse of Pythia a figure of Amphion a Charecter of Oschanes an Image of Venus or a braunch of Sybilla it skilleth not Let it be either the séeds of Medea or the bloude of Phillis let it come by Oracle of Appollo or by Prophecie of Tyresias either by the intrailes of a Goat or what els soeuer I care not or by all these in one to make sure incantation and spare not If I winne my loue you shall not loose your labour and whether it redound or no to my greater peril I wil not yet forget your paines Let this potion be of such force that she may doat in hir desire and I delight in hir distresse And if in this case you either reueale my suite or denye it you shall soone perceiue that Philautus will dye as desperately in one minuite as he hath liued this thrée monethes carefully this your studie shalbe my graue if by your study you ease not my griefe When he had thus ended he looked so sternly vppon Psellus that he wished him farther off yet taking him by the hand and walking into his chamber this good man began thus to aunswere him GEntleman if the inwarde spirite be aunswerable to the outwarde speach or the thoughts of your heart agréeable to the words of your mouth you shal bréede to your selfe great discredit and to me no small disquiet Doe you thinke Gentleman that the minde being created of God can be ruled by man or that anye one canne moue the hart but he that made the hart But such hath bene the superstition of olde women such the folly of young men that there could be nothing so vayne but the one woulde inuent nor anye thing so sencelesse but the other would beléeue which then brought youth into a fooles paradise and hath now cast age into an open mockage What the force of loue is I haue knowen what the effects haue bene I haue heard yet could I neuer learne that euer loue could be wonne by the vertues of hearbs stones or words And though manye there haue bene so wicked to séeke such meanes yet was ther neuer any so vnhappy to finde them Parrhasius paynting Hopplitides could neither make him that ran to sweat nor the other y t put off his armour to breath adding this as it were for a note No farther than colours meaning that to giue lyfe was not in his Pencill but in the Gods And the lyke may be said of vs that giue our mindes to know the course of the Starres the Plannets the whole Globe of Heauen the Simples the Compoundes the bowells of the Earth that some-thing we may gessâ— by the outward shape some-thing by the Natiuitie but to wrest the will of man or to wreath his hearte to our humours it is not in the compasse of Arte but in the power of the most highest But for bicause ther haue ben many without doubt that haue giuen credite to the vayne illusions of Witches or the fonde inuentions of idle persons I will sette downe such reasons as I haue heard and you wil laugh at so I hope I shall both satisfie your minde and make you a lyttle merry for me thinketh there is nothing that can more delyght then to heare the thinges which haue no wayghte to bée thought to haue wronghte wonders If you take Pepper the séede of a Nettle and a lyttle quantitie of Pyretum beaten or pounded altogether and put into Wine of two yeares olde whensoeuer you drinke to Camilla if she loue you not you loose your labour The cost is small but if your beliefe be constant you winne the goale for this Receipt standeth in a stroÌ„g conceipt Egges and Honny blended with the Nuts of a Pine trée and layd to your left side is of as great force when you looke vppon Camilla to bewitche the minde as the Quintessence of Stockfish is to nourish the body An hearbe there is called Anacamforitis a straunge name and doubtlesse of a straunge nature for whosoeuer toucheth it falleth in loue with the person she next séeth It groweth not in England but héere you shal haue that which is not halfe so good that will doe as much good and yet truly no more The Hearbe Carisium moystened with the bloud of a Lysard and hanged about your necke will cause Camilla for hir you loue best to dreame of your seruices suites desires desertes and whatsoeuer you would wish hir to thinke of you but béeing wakened she shall not remember what she dreamed off And this Hearb is to be found in a Lake néere Boetia of which water who so drinketh shall be caught in
will is placed in the Soule and who can enter there but hée that created the soule No no Gentleman whatsoeuer you haue heard touching this beléeue nothing for they in mine opinion which imagine that the minde is either by incantation or excaÌ„tation to be ruled are as farre from trueth as the East from the West and as néere impietie against god as they are to shame among men and so contrary is it to the profession of a Christian as Paganisme Suffer not your self to be lead with that vyle conceit practise in your loue all kind of loyaltie Be not mute nor full of bable be sober but auoyde sollennesse vse no kinde of ryot either by banqueting which procureth surfeits nor in attyre which hasteth beggary If you think wel of your witte be alwayes pleasant if ill be often silent in the one thy talke shall proue thée sharpe in the other thy modestie wise All Fishe are not caught with Flyes all woemen are not allured with personage Frame Letters Ditties Musicke and all meanes that honestie may allow For he wooeth well that meaneth no ill and hée spéedeth sooner that speaketh what he should then he that vttereth what he will Beléeue me Philautus I am nowe olde yet haue I in my head a loue tooth in my minde there is nothing y t more pearceth the heart of a beautifull Lady then wryting where thou mayest so set downe thy passions and hir perfection as she shall haue cause to thinke well of thée and better of hir selfe but yet so warily as neyther thou séeme to praise hir too much or debase thy selfe too lowlye for if thou flatter them without meane they loath if thou make of thy selfe aboue reason they laugh at it temper thy wordes so well and place euery sentence so wisely as it may be harde for hir to iudge whether thy loue be more faithfull or hir beautie amiable Lions fawne when they are clawed Tygers stoupe when they are tickled Bucephalus lyeth downe when he is curryed women yéeld when they are courted This is the poyson Philautus the enchauntment the potions that créepeth by sleight into y e mind of a woman and catcheth hir by assurance better then y e fond deuices of olde dreames as an Apple with an Auie Marie or a hasill wand of a yeare old crossed with sir Charactors or the picture of Venus in Uirgin Ware or the Image of Camilla vppon a Moulwarpes skinne It is not once mencioned in the English Court nor so much as thought of in any ones conscience that Loue can be procured by such meanes or that any can imagine such mischiefe and yet I feare me it is too commen in our Countrey whereby they incurre hate of euery one and loue of none Touching my cunning in any vile deuices of Magick it was neuer my studie only some delyght I tooke in the Mathematickes which made me knowne of more then I would and of more then think wel of me although I neuer did hurt any nor hindred But be thou quiet Philautus vse those meanes that may winne thy loue not those that may shorten hir lyfe and if I can any wayes stand thée in stéede vse me as thy poore friend and countreyman harme I wil do thée none good I cannot My acquaintaunce in court is small and therefore my dealings about the Courte shall be fewe for I loue to stand aloofe from loue and lightning Fire giueth light to things farre off and burneth that which is next to it The court shineth to me that come not ther but singeth those that dwell there Onely my counsayle vse that is in writing me thou shalt finde secreate wishing thée alwayes fortunate and if thou make me partaker of thy successe it shal not turne to thy grief but as much as in me lyeth I will further thée When he had finished his discourse Philautus lyked very well of it and thus replyed WEll Psellus thou hast wrought y t in me which thou wishest for if the baites that are layde for beautie be so ridiculous I think it of as great effect in loue to vse a Paister as a Potion I nowe vtterly dissent from those that imagine Magicke to be the meanes consent with thée that thinkest letters to be which I will vse how I spéede I will tell thée in y e meane season pardon me if I vse no longer answere for wel you know that he y t hath the fit of an Ague vpon him hath no lust to talke but to tumble and loue pinching me I haue more desire to chew vpon melancholy then to dispute vppon Magicke but hereafter I will make repaire vnto you what I now giue you in thanks I will then requite with amends Thus these two countreymen parted with certeyne Italian embracings and termes of curtesie more theÌ„ common Philautus we shall finde in his lodging Psellus we will leaue in his studie the one musing of his loue the other of his learning HEere Gentlewomen you may sée how iustly men séeks to entrap you when scornfully you goe about to reiect them thinking it not vnlawfull to vse Arte when they perceiue you obstinate their dealings I will not allow neither can I excuse yours and yet what should be the cause of both I can gesse When Phydias first painted they vsed no colours but blacke white redde and yeolowe Zeuxis added gréene and euery one inuented a newe shadowing At the last it came to this passe y t he in painting deserued most praise that could sette downe most colours wherby there was more contention kindeled about the colour then y e counterfaite and greater emulation for varietie in shew then workmanship in substaunce In y e like manner hath it fallen out in Loue wheÌ„ Adam weed there was no pollicie but plain dealing no colours but black white Affection was measured by faith not by fancie he was not curious nor Eue cruel he was not enamored of hir beautie nor she allured with his personage and yet then was she the fairest woman in the world he the propâ—rest man Since that time euery louer hath put too a lynke made of a King a Chaine and an odde Corner and framed of a playne Alley a crooked knot and of Venus Temple Dedalus Laborynth One curleth his haire thinking loue to be moued with faire lockes an other layeth all his lyuing vpon his back iudging that womeÌ„ are wedded to brauery some vse discourses of Loue to kindle affection some ditties to allure the minde some letters to stirre the appetite diuers fighting to proue their manhoode sundry sighing to shew their maladies many attempt with showes to please their Ladies eyes not few with Musicke to entice the eare Insomuch that there is more strife now who shall be the finest Louer then who is the faithfullest This causeth you Gentlewomen to picke out those that can court you not those that loue you and hée is accompted the best in your conceits that vseth
most colours not that sheweth greatest courtesie A playne tale of Faith ye laugh at a picked discourse of fancie you meruayle at condemning the simplicitie of trueth and preferring the singularitie of deceipt wherin you resemble those fishes y t rather swallow a faire baite with a sharpe hooke then a foulc worme bréeding in the mudde Héereoff it commeth that true louers receiuing a flout for their faith a mocke for their good meaning are enforced to séeke such meanes as might compel you which you knowing impossible maketh you the more disdainful and them the more desperate This then is my counsell that you vse your louers like friends and chuse them by their faith not by the shewe but by the sounde neither by the waight but by the touche as you doe golde so shall you be praised as much for vertue as beautie But return we againe to Philautus who thus began to debate with himselfe WHat hast thou done Philautus in séeking to wound hir that thou desirest to winne With what face canst thou looke on hir whom thou soughtest to loose Fye fye Philautus thou bringest thy good name into question and hir lyfe into hazard hauing neither care of thine owne credit nor hir honour Is this the loue thou pretendest which is worse then hate Didst not thou séeke to poyson hir that neuer pinched thée But why doe I recount those thinges which are past and I repent I am now to consider what I must do not what I would haue done Follies past shall be worn out with faith to come and my death shall shew my desire Write Philautus what sayst thou write no no thy rude stile wil bewray thy meane estate and thy rash attempt wil purchase thine ouerthrow Venus delighteth to heare none but Mercury Pallas wil be stoln of none but Vlisses it must be a smooth tongue and a swéet tale that can enrhaunt Vesta Besides that I dare not trust a messenger to cary it nor hir to read it least in shewing my letter she disclose my loue and then shall I be pointed at of those that hate me and pitied of those that like me of hir scorned of al talked off No Philautus be not thou the bye worde of the common people rather suffer death by silence then derision by writing I but it is better to reueale thy loue then conceale if thou knowest not what bitter poysō lyeth in swéet words remember Psellus who by experience hath tryed that in loue one letter is of more force then a thousand lookes If they like writings they read them often if dislyke them runne them ouer once and this is certeine that she that readeth such toyes will also aunswere them Onely this be secret in conueyaunce which is the thing they thiefliest desire Then write Philautus write he that feareth euery bush must neuer goe a birding he that casteth al doubts shall neuer be resolued in any thing And this assure thy selfe that be thy letter neuer so rude and barbarous she will read it and be it neuer so louing she will not shew it which were a thing contrary to hir honour the next way to cal hir honestie into question For thou hast heard yea and thy selfe knowest that Ladies that vaunt of their Louers or shewe their letters are accompted in Italy counterfaite and in England they are not thought currant Thus Philautus determined hab nab to send his letters flattering himself with the successe which he to him selfe faigned and after long musing he thus began to frame the minister of his loue ¶ To the fayrest Camilla HArde is the choyce fayre Ladye when one is compelled either by silence to dye with griefe or by writing to hue with shame But so swéet is the desire of lyfe and so sharpe are the passions of loue that I am enforced to preferre an vnseemely sute before an vntimely death Loth I haue ben to speake and in dispaire to spéed the one proceeding of mine owne cowardise the other of thy crueltie If thou enquire my name I am the same Philautus which for thy sake of late came disguised in a Maske pleading custome for a priuiledge and curtesie for a pardon The same Philautusm which then in secrette tearmes coloured his loue and nowe with bitter teares bewrayes it If thou nothing estéeme the brynish water that falleth from mine eyes I would thou couldest see the warme bloud that droppeth from my hart Oftentimes I haue bene in thy company where easilye thou mightest haue perceiued my wanne cheekes my hollow eyes my scalding sighes my trembling tongue to foreshew that then which I confesse now Then consider with thy selfe Camilla the plight I am in by desire and the perill I am lyke to fall into by deniall To recount the sorrowes I sustaine or the seruice I haue vowed would rather bréede in thée an admiration then a beliefe only this I adde for the time which y e end shal trie for a truth that if thy aunswere be sharp my life wil be short so farre loue hath wrought in my pining almost consumed body that thou only mayst breath into me a new lyfe or bereaue me of the olde Thou art to weigh not howe long I haue loued thée but how faithfully neither to examine the worthines of my person but the extremitie of my passions so preferring my deserts before the length of time and my disease before the greatnes of my birth thou wilt either yeelde with equitie or deny with reason of both the which although the greatest be on my side yet y e least shal not dislyke me for that I haue alwaies found in thée a minde neither repugnant to right nor voyd of reason If thou wouldest but permit me to talke with thee or by writing suffer me at large to discourse with thée I doubt not but that both the cause of my loue would be beléeued and the extremitie rewarded both procéeding of thy beautie and vertue the one able to allure the other ready to pittie Thou must thinke that God hath not bestowed those rare giftes vppon thée to kill those that are caught but to cure them Those that are stunge with the Scorpion are bealed with the Scorpion the fire that burneth taketh away the heate of the burne the Spider Phalaugium that poysoneth doth with hir skinne make a plaister for poyson and shall thy beautie which is of force to winne all with loue be of the crueltie to wound any with death No Camilla I take no lesse delight in thy faire face then pleasure in thy good cōditions assuring my self that for affection without lust thou wilt not render mallice without cause I commit my care to thy consideration expecting thy letter either as a Cullife to preserue or as a sword to destroy either as Antidotum or as Auconitum If thou delude me thou shalt not long triumph ouer me liuing and small will thy glory be when I am dead And I ende Thine euer though he be neuer thine Philautus
she will looke backe vpon Hyppomanes let Medea bée as cruell as a fende to all Gentlemen shée will at the last respecte Iason A deniall at the first is accompted a graunt a gentle aunsweare a mockerie Ladyes vse their Louers as the Storke doth hir young ones who pecketh them till they bleede with hir bill and then healeth them with hir tongue Cupid himselfe must spende one arrowe and thinkest thou to speede with one Letter No no Philautus he that looketh to haue cléere water must digge déepe he that longeth for sweete Musicke must set his stringes at the highest hée that seeketh to win his loue must stretch his labour and hasard his life Venus blesseth Lions in the folde and Lambes in the chamber Eagles at the assault Foxes in counsaile so that thou must be hardie in the pursuit méeke in victory venterous in obtaining wise in concealing so that thou win that with praise whiche otherwise thou wilt loose with péeuishnesse Faint heart Philautus neither winneth Castell nor Lady therefore endure all things that shal sharpen with patience pursue with diligence thy fortune is to be tryed not by the accedents but by the end Thus Gentlewomen Philautus resembleth the Uiper who being stricken with a reede lyeth as he were deade but stricken the seconde time recouereth his strength hauing his aunswere at the first in the Masque he was almost amazed and nowe againe denyed hée is animated presuming thus much vpon the good disposition and kindnesse of women that the higher they sit the lower they looke and the more they seeme at the first to loth the more they loue at the last Whose iudgement as I am not altogether to allowe so canne I not in some respect mislyke For in this they resemble the Crocodile who when one approcheth neere vnto him gathereth vp himselfe into the roundnesse of a ball but running from him stretcheth himselfe into the length of a trée The willing resistance of womē was the cause that made Arelius whose art was only to draw women to paint Venus Cnydia catching at the ball with hir hand which she séemed to spurne at with hir foote And in this point they are not vnlike vnto the Mirre Trée which being hewed gathereth in his sappe but not moued powreth it out like sirrope Women are neuer more coye then when they are beloued yet in their mindes neuer lesse constant seeming to tye themselues to the mast of the shippe with Vlysses when they are wooed with a strong Cable which being well descerned is a twine thréede throwing a stone at the heade of him vnto whom they immediately cast out an aple of which their gentle nature Philautus being perswaded followed his suit againe in this manner Philautus to the faire Camilla I Cannot tell Camilla whether thy ingratitude bée greater or my misfortune for perusing the fewe lynes thou gauest me I founde as small hope of my loue as of thy curtesie But so extreame are the passions of loue that the more thou seekest to quench them by disdaine the greater flame thou encreasest by desire Not vnlike vnto Iuppiters Well whiche extingisheth a firie brande and kindleth a wet sticke And no lesse force hath thy beautie ouer me then the fire hath ouer Naplytia which leapeth into it wheresoeuer it séeth it I am not he Camilla that will leaue the Rose bicause I pricked my finger or forsake the golde that lyeth in the hot fire for that I burne my hande or refuse the swéet Chesnut for that it is couered with sharpe huskes The minde of a faithfull louer is neyther to be daunted with despite nor afrighted with daūger For as the Load-stone what winde soeuer blowe tourneth alwayes to the North or as Aristotles Quadratus which way soeuer you tourne it is alwayes constant so the faith of Philautus is euer more applyed to the loue of Camilla neither to be remoued with any winde or rolled with any force But to thy letter Thou saist gréene woundes are to be dressed roughly least they feaster certainely thou speakest lyke a good Chyrurgian but dealest lyke one vnskilfull for making a great wounde thou puttest in a small tent cutting the flesh that is sound before thou cure the place that is sore striking the veyne with a knife which thou shouldest stop with lynt And so hast thou drawne my tettar I vse thine owne terme that in seeking to spoyle it in my chinne thou hast spread it ouer my body Thou addest thou art no Italyan Lady I aunswere would thou wert not that I woulde haue thée wooed as thou sayst they are but that I might winne thée as thou nowe art and yet this I dare say though not to excuse all or to disgrace thée that some there are in Italy too wise to be caught with leasings and too honest to be entangled with lust and as wary to eschewe sinne as they are willing to sustaine shame so that whatsoeuer the most bée I woulde not haue thée thinke ill of the best Thou alleadgest thy youth and allowest thy wisedome the one not apt to knowe the impressions of loue the other suspitious not to beléeue them Truelye Camilla I haue heard that young is the Goose that wil eate no Oates and a very ill Cocke that will not crowe béefore hée bée olde and no right Lyon that will not féede on hard meate before he tast swéete milke and a tender Uirgin God knowes it must be that measureth hir affections by hir age when as naturally they are enclyned whiche thou perticularly puttest to our countrey to play the brydes before they be able to dresse their heads Many similitudes thou bringest in to excuse youth thy twig thy corne thy fruite thy grape and I know not what which are as easely to be refelled as they are to be repeated But my good Camilla I am as vnwilling to confute any thing thou speakest as I am thou shouldest vtter it insomuch as I would sweare the Crow were white if thou shouldest but say it My good will is greater then I can expresse and thy courtesie lesse then I deserue thy counsayle to expell it with time and reason of so little force that I haue neither the will to vse the meane nor the witte to conceiue it But this I say that nothing can breake off my loue but death nor any thing hasten my death but thy discourtesie And so I attende thy finall sentence and my fatall destinie Thine euer though he be neuer thine Philautus THis letter he thought by no meanes better to bée conueyed then in the same booke he receiued hirs so omitting no time least the yron shoulde coole before he coulde strike he presently went to Camilla whome hée founde in gathering of flowers with diuers other Ladies and Gentlewomen which came as well to recreate them-selues for pleasure as to visite Camilla whom they all loued Philautus somewhat boldened by acquaintaunce curteous by nature and courtlye by countenaunce saluted them all with such termes as
and arte rewarded with nothing lesse than loue Lucilla was too badde yet diddest thou court hir thy swéete heart nowe in Naples is none of the best yet diddest thou follow hir Camilla excéeding all wher thou wast to haue least hope thou hast woâ—d not without great hazard to thy person and griefe to mine I haue perused hir letters which in my simple iudgement are so farre from allowing thy suit that they séeme to loath thy seruice I will not flatter thée in thy follies she is no matche for thée nor thou for hir the one wanting lyuing to maintaine a wife the other birthe to aduaunce an husband Surius whom I remember thou diddest name in thy discourse I remember in the Court a man of great birth and noble bloud singular wit rare personage if he goe about to get credite I muse what hope thou couldest conceiue to haue a good countenance Well Philautus to set downe precepts against thy Loue will nothing preuayle to perswade thée to goe forward were very perillous for I know in the one loue will regard no lawes in the other perswasions can purchase to lybertie Thou art too heady to enter in wher no héed can helpe one out Theseus woulde not goe into the Laborinth without a thréede that might shew him the way out neither any wise man enter into the crooked corners of loue vnlesse he knew by what meanes he might get out Loue which shold coÌ„tinue for euer shold not be begon in an houre but slowly be taken in hande and by length of time finished resemblyng Zeuxis that wise Painter who in things that he would haue last long tooke greatest leasure I haue not forgotten one Mistres Frauncis which the Ladye Flauia gaue thée for a Uiolette and by thy discription though she be not equal with Camilla yet is she fitter for Philautus If thy humour be such y t nothing canne féede it but loue cast thy mynde on hir conferre the impossibilytie thou hast to winne Camilla with the lykelyhoode thou mayst haue to enioy thy Uyolet and in this I will endeauour both my wyt and my good will so that nothing shal want in me that may work ease in thée Thy Uiolet if she be honest is worthy of thée beautifull thou sayest she is and therefore too worthy Hoat fire is not onely quenched by the cléere fountaine nor loue onely satisfied by the faire face Therfore in this tell me thy mynde y t either we may procéede in that matter or séeke a new medicine Philautus thus replyed OH my good Euphues I haue neither the power to forsake mine owne Camilla nor the heart to deny thy counsaile it is easie to fall into a nette but hard to get out Notwithstanding I will goe against the haire in all thinges so I may please thée in any thing O my Camilla With that Euphues stayed him saying â—E that hath sore eyes must not behold the candle nor he that would leaue his loue fall to the remembring of his Lady the one causeth the eye to smart y e other the heart to bléede well quoth Philautus I am content to haue the wound searched yet vnwilling to haue it cured but siâ—hens that sicke men are not to prescribe diots but to kéepe them I am ready to take potions and if wealth serue to pay thée for them yet one thing maketh mée to feare that in running after two Hares I catch neither And certeinely quoth Euphues I know many good hunters that take more delight to haue the Hare on foote neuer catch it then to haue no cry yet kil in the fourme whereby I gesse there commeth greater delight in the hunting then in the eating It may be saide Philautus but I were then very vnfit for such pastimes for what sport soeuer I haue all the day I loue to haue the game in my dish at night And truely aunswered Euphues you are worse made for a hound then a hunter for you marre your sent with carreÌ„ before you start your game which maketh you huÌ„t oftentimes counter whereas if you had kept it pure you might ere this time haue tourned the Hare you winded and caught the game you coursed Why then I perceiue quoth Philautus that to talke with Gentlewomen touching the discourses of loue to eate with them to conferre with them to laugh with them is as great pleasure as to enioy theÌ„ to the which thou maist by some fallacie driue me but neuer perswade me For then were it as pleasant to behold fruit as to eate them or to see faire bread as to tast it Thou errest Philautus said Euphues if thou be not of that mind for he that commeth into fine gardeÌ„s is as much recreated to smell the flower as to gather it And many we sée more delighted with pictures then desirous to be Painters the effect of loue is faith not lust delightful conference not detestable concupiscence which beginneth with folly and endeth with repentaunce For mine owne part I wold wish nothing if againe I should fall into that vaine then to haue the company of hir in common conference that I best loued to heare hir sober talke hir wise aunsweres to behold hir sharpe capacitie and to be perswaded of hir constancie and in these things do we onely differ from brute beastes who haue no pleasure but in sensuall appetite You preach heresic quoth Philautus and besides so repugnant to the text you haue taken that I am more ready to pul thée out of thy Pulpit then to beléeue thy gloses I loue the company of women wel yet to haue them in lawful Matrimony I like much better if thy reasoÌ„s shold go as currant theÌ„ were loue no tormeÌ„t for hardly doth it fal out with him that is denyed y e sight talk of his lady Hungry stomackes are not to be sed with sayings against surfettings nor thirst to be quenched with senteÌ„ces against drunkennes To loue women neuer enioy them is as much as to loue wine neuer tast it or to be delighted w t faire apparell neuer wear it An idle loue is y t fit for him y t hath nothing but eares y t is satisfied to hear hir speak not desirous to haue himself spéed Why then Euphues to haue y e picture of his Lady is as much as to enioy hir presence to read hir letters of as great force as to heare hir answeres which if it be my suit in loue should be as much to the painter to draw hir with an amiable face as to my Ladye to write an amorous letter both which with little suite being obtained I may liue with loue and neuer wet my foote nor breake my sléepes nor waste my money nor torment my minde But this worketh as much delight in y e mind of a louer as the Apples that hang at Tantalus nose or y e Riuer that runneth close by his chin And in one word it wold doe me no more good to sée my Lady
thinke this but that there should be in a womā aswel a tongue to deny as in a mā to desire that as men haue reason to like for beautie where they loue so womē haue wit to refuse for sundry causes wher they loue not Otherwise were we bound to such an inconuenience that whosoeuer serued vs we should aunswere his suite when in euery respect we mistike his conditions so that Nature might be said to frame vs for others humours not for our owne appetites Where-in to some wée should be thought very courteous but to the most scarce honest For mine owne part if there be any thing in mée to be lyked of any I thinke it reason to bestowe on such a one as hath also somwhat to content me so that wher I know my selse loued and doe loue againe I would vpon iust tryall of his constancie take him Surius without any stoppe or long pause replyed presently LAdy if the Torteyse you spake off in India were as cunning in swimming as you are in speking he wold neither feare the heate of y e Sunne nor the ginne of the Fisher. But that excuse was brought in rather to shewe what you coulde say then to craue pardon for that you haue said But to your aunswere What your beautie is I will not here dispute least either your modest eares should glow to heare your owne prayses or my smooth tongue trippe in being curious to your perfection so y t what I cannot commend sufficiently I wil not cease continually to meruaile at You wander in one thing out of y e way where you say that many are enflamed with y e countenance not enquiring of the conditions when this position was before grounded that ther was none beautifull but she was also mercifull and so drawing by the face of hir beauty al other morral vertues for as one ring being touched with the Loadstone draweth another and that his fellowe till it come to a thaine so a Lady endewed with beautie pulleth on curtesie curtesie mercye one vertue linkes it selfe to another vntill there be a rare perfection Besides touching your owne lightnesse you must not imagine that loue bréedeth in the heart of man by your lookes but by his own eyes neither by your words whē you speak wittily but by his owne eares which conceiue aptly So that were you dumbe and could not speake or blind and could not sée yet should you be beloued which argueth plainly that the eye of the man is y e arrow the beautie of the woman the white which shooteth not but receiueth being the patient not the agent vppon tryall you confesse you would trust but what tryal you require you conceale which maketh mo suspecte that either you would haue a triall without meane or without ende either not to be sustained being impossible or not to be finished being infinite Wherin you would haue one run in a circle wher there is no way out or build in y e ayre where there is no meanes howe This trial Camilla must be sifted to narrower points least in séeking to trie your louer like a Ienet you tyre him like a Iade Then you require this libertie which truely I cannot denie you that you may haue y e choyce as well to refuse as the man hath to offer requiring by that reason some qualities in the person you would bestow your loue on yet craftily hiding what properties either please you best or like women well wherein againe you moue a doubt whether personage or wealth or wit or all are to be required so that what with the close tryal of his faith and the subtill wishing of his qualities you make either your Louer so holy that for faith he must be made al of truth or so exquisite that for shape he must be framed in ware which if it be your opinion the beautie you haue will be withered before you be wedded your wooers good olde Gentlemen before they be spéeders Camilla not permitting Surius to leape ouer y e hedge which she set for to kéepe him in with a smiling countenaunce shaped him this aunswere IF your position be graunted that wher beautie is ther is also vertue then might you adde that where a faire flower is there is also a swéete sauour which how repugnaunt it is to our common experience there is none but knoweth and how contrary the other is to trueth there is none but séeth Why then do you not set down this for a rule which is as agréeable to reason y t Rhodope being beautiful if a good complection and faire fauour be tearmed beautie was also vertuous that Lais excelling was also honest that Phrine surpassing them both in beautie was also curteous But it is a reason among your Philosophers that the disposition of the minde foloweth the cōposition of y e body how true in arguing it may be I know not how false in tryall it is who knoweth not Beautie though it be amiable worketh many things contrary to hir fayre shew not vnlyke vnto siluer which being white draweth blacke lynes or resembling the tal trées in Ida which allured many to rest in them vnder their shadow and then infected them with their sent Now where-as you sette downe that loue commeth not from the eyes of the woman but from the glaunces of the man vnder correction be it spoken it is as far from the trueth as the head from the toe For were a Ladye blinde in what can she be beautifull if dumbe in what manifest hir wit when as the eye hath euer ben thought the Pearle of the face and the tongue the Ambassador of the heart If there were such a Lady in this companye Surius that should winke with both eyes when you wold haue hir sée your amorous lookes or bée no blabbe of hir tongue when you would haue hir aunswere to your questions I can-not thinke that either hir vertuous conditions or hir white and red complection could moue you to loue Although this might somewhat procure your lyking that doing what you lyst she will not see it and speaking what you would she wil not vtter it two notable vertues and rare in our sex patience and silence But why talke I about Ladyes that haue no eyes when there is no man that wil loue them if he himselfe haue eyes More reson ther is to wooe one that is dumbe for that she cannot deny your suite and yet hauing eares to heare she may as well giue an answere with a signe as a sentence But to the purpose Loue commeth not from him that loueth but from the partie loued els must he take his loue vppon no cause and then it is lust or thinke himselfe the cause and then it is no loue Then must you conclude thus if there be not in women the occasion they are foolrs to trust men y t praise them if the cause be in them then are not men wise to arrogate it to themselues It is the eye of the women
thing it is and how pestilent to youth I partly knowe and you I am sure can gesse Martius not very young to discourse of these matters yet desirous to vtter his minde whether it were to flatter Surius in his will or to make triall of the Ladies wit Began thus to frame his aunswere MAdam there is in Chio the Image of Diana whiche to those that enter séemeth sharpe and sower but returning after their suites made looketh with a merrie and pleasaunt countenaunce And it may bée that at the entraunce of my discourse yée will bende your browes as one displeased but hearing my proofe be delighted and satisfied The question you moue is whether it be requisite that Gentlemen and Gentlewomen should méete Truly among louers it is conuenient to augement desire amongst those that are firme necessary to maintaine societie For to take away all méeting for feare of loue were to kindle amongst all the fire of hate There is greater daunger Madame by absence whiche bréedeth melancholy then by presence which engendreth affection If the sight be so perillous that the companye shoulde be barred why then admitte you those to sée banquets that may thereby surfet or suffer them to eate their meate by a candle that haue sore eyes To be seperated from one I loue woulde make me more constant and to kéepe company with hir I loue not woulde not kindle desire Loue commeth as well in at the eares by the report of good conditions as in at the eyes by the amiable countenaunce whiche is the cause that diuers haue loued those they neuer sawe and séene those they neuer loued You alledge that those that feare drowning come néere no wells nor they that dread burning néere no fire Why then let them stande in doubt also to washe their handes in a shallowe brooke for that Serapus falling into a channell was drowned and let him that is colde neuer warme his hands for that a sparke fell into the eyes of Actina whereoff she dyed Let none come into the company of women for that diuers haue bene allured to loue and being refused haue vsed violence to themselues Let this be set downe for a law that none walke abroad in the day but men least méeting a beautifull woman he fall in loue and loose his libertie I thinke Madam you will not be so precise to cutte off all conference bicause loue commeth by often communication which if you do let vs all now presently depart least in séeing the beautie which daseleth our eyes and hearing the wisedome which tickleth our eares wée be enflamed with loue But you shall neuer beate the Flye from the Candell though he burne nor the Quaile from the Hemloch though it be poyson nor the louer from the company of his Ladie though it be perillous It falleth out sundrye times that companye is the cause to shake off loue working the effectes of the roote Rubarbe which being full of choler purgeth choler or of the Scorpions sting which being full of poyson is a remedy for poyson But this I conclude that to barre one that is in loue of the company of his Ladie maketh him rather mad then mortified for him to refraine that neuer knew loue is either to suspect him of folly without cause or the next way for him to fall into folly when he knoweth the cause A louer is like y e hearb Heliotropium which alwayes enclyneth to that place where the Sunne shineth and being depriued of the Sunne dyeth For as Lunaris hearbe as long as the Moone wareth bringeth forth leaues and in the waning shaketh them off so a louer whilst he is in the company of his Lady where all ioyes encrease vttereth manye pleasaunt conceites but banished from the sight of his Mistris where all mirth decreaseth either lyueth in melancholye or dyeth with desperation The Ladye Flauia speaking in his cast procéeded in this manner LKuely Martius I had not thought that as yet your costes tooth stucke in your mouth or that so olde a trewant in loue coulde hetherto remember his lesson You séeme not to inferre that it is requisite they shoulde méete but being in loue y t it is conuenient least falling iâ—â—o a madde moode they pine in their owne peuishnesse Why then let it follow that the Drunckarde which surâ—â—â—eth with wine be alwayes quaffing bicause he liketh it or the Epicure which glutteth him-selfe with meate be euer eating for that it contenteth him not séeking at any time the meanes to redresse their vices but to renue 〈◊〉 But it fareth with the Louer as it doth with him that powreth in much wine who is euer more thirstie then he that drinketh moderately for hauing once tasted the delights of loue he desireth most the thing that hurteth him most not laying a plaister to the wound but a corrasiue I am of this minde that if it be daungerous to laye Flare to the fire Salte to the eyes Sulphure to y e nose that then it cannot bée but perillous to let one Louer come in presence of the other For Surius ouer-hearing the Lady and séeing hir so carnest although he wer more earnest in his suite to Camilla cut hir off with these wordes GOod Madame giue me leaue either to departe or to speake for in trueth you gall mée more with these tearmes then you wist in séeming to inueigh so bitterly against the méeting of louers whiche is the onelye Marrowe of loue and though I doubt not but that Martius is sufficiently armed to aunswere you yet would I not haue those reasons refelled which I loath to haue repeated It may be you vtter them not of mallice you beare to loue but onely to moue controuersie where there is no question For if thou enuie to haue louers méete why did you graunt vs if allowe it why séeke you to separate vs The good Ladye coulde not refraine from laughter when she sawe Surius so angrye who in the middest of his owne tale was troubled with hirs whom shée thus againe aunswered I cry you mercy gentleman I had not thought to haue catched you when I fished for an other but I perceiue now y t with one beane it is easie to get two Pigeons with one bayte to haue diuers bits I see that others may gesse where the shooe wrings besides him that weares it Madame quoth Surius you haue caught a Frog if I be not deceiued and therefore as good it were not to hurt him as not to eate him but if all this while you angled to haue a bit at a Louer you should haue vsed no bitter medicines but pleasaunt baites I cannot tell aunswered Flauia whether my bayght were bitter or not but sure I am I haue the Fish by the gyll that doth me good Camilla not thinking to be silent put in hir speake as she thought into the best whéele saying LAdye your cunning maye deceiue you in fishing with an Angle therefore to catch him you would haue you were best to vse
thirde concludeth it a figure So in loue thrée vertues affection which draweth the heart secrecte which inereaseth the hope constancie which finish the worâ—ie without any of these lynes there can be no triangle with-out any of these vertues no loue There is no man that runneth with one ledgge no birde that flyeth with one winge no loue that lâ—â—eth with one lym Loue is lykened to the Emerald 〈◊〉 cracketh rather then consenteth to any 〈◊〉 and can there be any greater villany then being secreat not to be constant or being constant not to be seâ—â—â—â—tâ— But it falleth out with those that being constant and yet full of bable as it doth with the serpent Fabulus the â—iper who burst with their owne brood as these â—â—â—oâ—e with their owne tongues It is no question Philautus to astle which is vest â—â—â—â— being not ioyned there is neuer a good If thou make a question where there is no doubt thou must take an aunswere where there is no reason Why then also doest thou not enquire whether it were better for a horse to want his foreleggs or his hinder when hauing not all he cannot trauelt why art thou not inquisitiue whether it were more conuenient for the wrastlers in the games of Olympia to be with-out armes or without féete or for frées to want rootes or lacke toppes when either is impossible Ther is no true louer beléeue me Philautus sence telleth me so not tryall that hath not faith secrecie and constancie If thou want either it is lust no loue and that thou hast not them all thy profounde question assureth mée which if thou diddest aske to trie my wit thou thoughtest me very dull if thou resolue thy selfe of a doubt I cannot thinke thée very sharps Philatus that perceiued hir to be so sharpe thought once againe like a whetstone to make hir sharper and in these words returned his aunswere MY swéete Uiolet you are not unlike vnto those who hauing gotten the startte in a race thinke none to be néere their héeles bicause they be formost For hauing the tale in your mouth you imagine it is all trueth and that none can controll it Frauncis who was not willing to heare him goe forward in so fonde an argument cutte him off before hâ—â— should come to his conclusion GEntleman the faster you runne after me the farther you are from me therefore I woulde wishe you to take héede that in séeking to strike at my héeles you trippe not vp your owne You woulde faine with your wit cast a white vppon blacke wherein you are not vnlike vnto those that séeing their shadow very short in the Sunne thinke to forâ—h their heade with their héele and putting forth their legge are farther from it then when they stoode still In my opinion it were better to sit on the ground with little ease then to ryse and fall with great daunger Philatus being in a maze to what ende this talke should tend thought that either Camilla had made hir priuie to his loue or that she meant by suspitioÌ„ to entrap him Therefore meaning to leaue his former question and to aunswere hir speach procéeded thus Mystris Frauncis you resemble in your sayings the Painter Tamantes in whose piâ—tures there was euer more vnderstoode then painted for 〈◊〉 a glose you séeme to shadow that which in 〈◊〉 you will not shewe It cannot be my Uiolet that the faster I runne after you the farther I shoulde be from you 〈◊〉 that either you haue winges 〈◊〉 your 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thornes thrust into mine The last 〈…〉 catcheth the Hare though the 〈…〉 him â— the flowe Snaile climeth the Tower at law though the swift Swallowe mount it the lastâ—st 〈…〉 the goâ—e sometimes though the lightest be néeâ—â— it â—n 〈◊〉 I had as liefe stande at the receiâ—e as at the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 running rather endâ—â—re long with an 〈…〉 ble then leaue off being out of winde with a 〈…〉 Esspecially when I runne as Hippomanes 〈◊〉 with Atlanta who was last in the course bu◠〈◊〉 the crowne So that I gesse that woemen are either easie to be out stripped or writing I séeke not to trippe at you 〈◊〉 I might to hinder you and hurt my selfe for in sitting your course by striking at your 〈◊〉 héeles you woulde when I should â—raue pardon shew me a high 〈◊〉 As for my shadow I neuer goe as out â—â—â—â—â—th it but when the Sunne is at the highest for then is my shadow at the shortest so that it is not 〈◊〉 its to tâ—uâ—h my heade with my héele when it lyeâ—◠〈◊〉 vnder my héele You say it is better so fit 〈…〉 to 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 and I say he that 〈◊〉 clymbeth for 〈◊〉 of falling is like vnto him that 〈…〉 of surâ—eting If you thinke either the 〈◊〉 so 〈◊〉 wherein I runne that I must â—â—éedeâ— faâ—◠〈◊〉 feete so chill that I must néedes founder 〈…〉 chaunge thy courte heere-after â— but â— meane to 〈◊〉 it nowe for I had rather fal out of a low window to the ground then hang in the midde way by a bryer Frauncis who tooke no little pleasure to heare Philautus talke began to come on roundly in these tearmes IT is a signe Gentleman that your footemanshippe is better then your stomacke for whatsoeuer you say me thinketh you had rather be helde in a slip then let slippe wherein you resemble the grayehounde that séeing his game leapeth vppon him that holdeth him not running after that he is helde for or the Hawke which being cast off at a Partridge taketh a stande to prune hir fethers when she should take hir flight For it séemeth you beare good will to the game you can-not play at or will not or dare not wherein you imitate the Cat that leaueth the Mouse to follow the milkpan for I perceiue that you let the Hare goe by to hunt the Badger Philautus astonied at this speach knewe not whiche way to frame his aunswere thinking nows that she perceiued his tale to be adressed to hir though his loue wer fired on Camilla But to ridde hir of suspition though loth that Camilla shoulde conceiue any inckling he played fast and loose in this manner GEntlewoman you mistake me very much for I haue béene better taught then fedde and therefore I know howe to followe my game if it be for my gaine For were there two Hares to runne at I would endeauour not to catch the first that I followed but the last that I started yet so as the first should not scape nor the last be caught You speake contraries quoth Frauncis and you will work wonders but take héede your cunning in hunting make you not to loose both Both saide Philautus why I séeke but for one and yet of two quoth Frauncis you cannot tell which to follow one runneth so fast you will neuer catch hir the other is so at the squat you can neuer finde hir The Lady Flauia whether desirous to sléepe or loath these iestes should be too broad as Moderater
leaste sayd that in all things Euphues spake Gospell sauing in that he bound a woman to patience which is to make them fooles Thus euery one gaue his verdite so with thankes to the lady Flauia they all tooke their leaue for that night Surius went to his lodging Euphues and Philautus to theirs Camilla accompanied with hir women hir waiting maide departed to hir home whom I mean to bring to hir chamber leauing all the rest to their rest Camilla no soner had entred in hir chamber but she began in straunge termes to vtter this straunge tale hir doore being close shut and hir chamber voyded AH Camilla ah wretched wench Camilla I perceiue now that when the Hoppe groweth high it must haue a pole when the Iuie spreadeth it cleaueth to the flint when the Nine riseth it wreatheth about y e Elme when virgins war in yeares they follow that which beloÌ„geth to their appetites loue loue Yea loue Camilla the force whereof thou knowest not yet must endure the furye Where is that precious hearbe Panace which cureth al diseases Or that herbe Nepenthes that procureth al delights No no Camilla loue is not to be cured by herbes which commeth by fancy neither can plaisters take away the greife which is growen so great by perswasions For as the stone Draconites can by no meanes be polished vnlesse the Lapidarie burn it so y e minde of Camilla can by no meanes be cured except Surius ease it I see that loue is not vnlike vnto the stone Pantura which draweth all other stones be they neuer so heauie hauing in it the thrée rootes which they attribute to Musicke Mirth Melancholie Madnesse I but Camilla dissemble thy loue though it shorten thy life for better it were to dye with griefe then liue with shame The spunge is ful of water yet is it not séene the herbe Adyaton though it be wette looketh alwayes dry a wise louer be she neuer so much tormeÌ„ted behaueth hir self as though she were not touched I but fire cannot be hidden in the flar without smoake nor Muske in the bosome with-out smell nor loue in the breast without suspition Why then confesse thy loue to Surius Camilla who is ready to aske before thou graunt But it fareth in loue as it doth with the roote of the Keede which being put vnto the ferne taketh away al his strength and likewise the roote of the ferne put to the Kéede depriueth it of al his force so the lookes of Surius hauing takeÌ„ al fréedome from the eyes of Camilla it may be the glaunces of Camilla haue bereaued Surius of all libertie which if it were so how happy shouldest thou be that it is so why shouldest not thou hope I but Surius is noble I but loue regardeth no byrth I but his friends will not consent I but loue knoweth no kindred I but he is not willing to loue nor thou worthy to be wooed I but loue maketh the proudest to stoupe and to court the poorest Whylest she was thus debating one of hir Maidens chaunced to knocke which she hearing left of that which all you Gentlewomen would gladly heare for no doubt she determined to make a long sermon had not she bene interrupted But by y e preamble you may gesse to what purpose the drift tended This I note that they that are most wise most vertuous most beautiful are not frée froÌ„ the impressions of Fancy For who would haue thought that Camilla who séemed to disdaine loue should so soone be entangled But as the straightest wands are to be beÌ„t when they be small so y e precisest virgins are to bée won when they be young But I wil leaue Camilla w t whose loue I haue nothing to meddle for y t it maketh nothing to my matter And return we to Euphues who must play the last part EVphues bestowing his time in the Courte began to marke diligently the men and their manners not as one curious to misconster but desirous to be instructed Many dayes he vsed speach with y e Ladies sundry times with the Gentlewomen with all became so familyar that he was of all earnestly beloued Philautus had taken such a smack in y e good entertainment of the Ladie Flauia that he began to looke askewe vpon Camilla driâ—ing out the remembraunce of his olde loue with the recording of the newe Who nowe but his Uiolet who but Mistresse Frauncis whom if once euery day he had not seene he would haue ben so solen that no man should haue séene him Euphues who watched his friend demaunded how his loue proceeded with Camilla vnto whom Philautus gaue no answere but a smile by y e which Euphues thought his affection but smal At the last thinking it both contrary to his othe and his honestie to conceale any thing from Euphues he confessed that his minde was chaunged from Camilla to FrauÌ„cis Loue quoth Euphues wil neuer make thee mad for it commeth by fits not like a quotidian but a tertian In déede quoth Philautus if euer I kill my self for loue it shall be with a sigh not with a sworde Thus they passed the time many dayes in England Euphues commonly in the court to learne fashions Philautus euer in the countrey to loue Frauncis so swéete a violet to his nose that he could hardly suffer it to be an houre from his nose But now came the time that Euphues was to try Philautus truth for it happened that letters wer directed from Athens to London concerning serious and waightie affaires of his owne which incited him to hasten his departure y e contentes of the which when he had imparted to Philautus and requested his company his friend was so fast tyed by the eyes that he found thornes in his héele which Euphues knew to be thoughts in his heart and by no meanes he could persuade him to go into Italy so swéet was the very smoke of England Euphues knowing the tyde would tarry for no man séeing his businesse to require such speede being for his great preferment determined sodeinly to depart yet not without taking of his leaue curteously giuing thanks to al those which since his comming had vsed him friend lye Whiche that it might bée done with one breath he desired y e Merchaunt with whom al this white he soiourned to inuite a great nuÌ„ber to dinner some of great calling many of good credite among the which Surius as chiefe the Lady Flauia Camilla and Mistresse Frauncis were not forgotten The time being come of méeting he faluted them all in this manner I was neuer more desirous to come into England theÌ„ I am loth to depart such curtesie haue I founde which I looked not for and such qualities as I could not looke for which I speak not to flatter any wheÌ„ in truth it is knowen to you all But now the time is come that Euphues must pack from those whom he best loueth and go to the Seas which he hardly brooketh But I
woulde Fortune had delt so fauourable with a poore Grecian y t hee might haue either béene borne héere or able to liue héere which séeing the one is past and cannot be the other vnlikely and therfore not easie to be I must endure the cruelty of the one and with patience beare the necessitie of the other Yet this I earnestly craue of you all that you wil in steade of a recompence accept thankes and of him that is able to giue nothing take prayer for payment What my good mind is to you all my tongue cannot vtter what my true meaning is your harts cannot conceiue yet as occasion shall serue I will shew y t I haue not forgotten any though I may not requite one Philautus not wyser then I in this though bolder is determined to tarry behinde for he saith that he had as liefe be buried in England as married in Italy so holy doth he thinke y e ground héere or so homely the women there whom although I would gladly haue with me yet séeing I cannot I am most earnestly to request you all not for my sake who ought to desire nothing nor for his sake who is able to deserue little but for the curtesies sake of England that you vse him not so wel as you haue done which would make him proude but no worse then I wishe him which will make him pure for though I speake before his face you shall finde true behinde his backe that he is yet but wax which must be wrought whilest the water is warme and yron which being hot is apt either to make a Keye or a locke It may be Ladies and Gentlewomen all that though England be not for Euphues to dwell in yet it is for Euphues to sende to When he had thus said he could scarce speake for wéeping all the company wer sory to forgoe him some profered him money some lands some houses but he refused them all telling them that not the necessitie of lack caused him to depart but of importance This done they sate downe all to dinner but Euphues could not be merry for that he should so soone depart the feast being ended which was very sumptuous as Merchaunts neuer spare for coste when they haue full Coffers they al hartely tooke their leaues of Euphues Camilla who liked very wel of his company taking him by the hand desired him that bring in Athens he would not forget his friends in England and the rather for your sake quoth she your friend shalbe better welcome yea and to me for his owne sake quoth Flauia wherat Philautus reioyced and Frauncis was not sory who began a little to listen to the lure of loue Euphues hauing all things in a readinesse went immediately toward Douer whether Philautus also accompanied him yet not forgetting by the way to visit y e good olde father Fidus whose curtesie they receiued at their comming Fidus glad to sée them made them great chéere according to his abilitie which had it bin lesse wold haue bene answerable to their desires Much communication they had of the Court but Euphues cryed quittance for he said things that are commonly known it wer folly to repeat and secrets it wer against mine honestie to vtter The next morning they went to Douer wher Euphues being ready to take ship he first tooke his farewel of Philautus in these words PHilautus the care that I haue had of thée from time to time hath ben tryed by the counsaile I haue alwaies giuen thée which if thou haue forgottē I meane no more to write in water if thou remember imprint it stil. But seeing my departure from thée is as it wer my death for that I know not whether euer I shal sée thée take this as my last testament of good will Be humble to thy superiors gentle to thy equalls to thy inferiors fauourable enuie not thy betters iustle not thy fellowes oppresse not the poore The stipend that is allowed to maintein thée vse suisely be neither prodigall to spend all nor couetous to kéepe all cut thy coat according to thy cloath thinke it better to be accompted thriftie among the wise then a good cōpanion among the riotous For thy study or trade of life vse thy booke in the morning thy bowe after dinner or what other exercise shall please thée best but alwayes haue an eye to the maine whatsoeuer thou art chanced at y e buy Let thy practise bée law for the practise of Phisicke is too base for so fine a stomack as thine diuinitie too curious for so fickle a head as thou hast Touching thy proceedings in loue be constant to one trye but one otherwise thou shalt bring thy credite into question and thy loue into derision Wean thy self from Camilla deale wisely with Frauncis for in England thou shalt finde those that wil decipher thy dealings be they neuer so polytique be secret to thy self trust none in matters of loue as thou louest thy life Certifie me of thy procéedings by thy letters thinke that Euphues cannot forget Philautus who is as déere to me as my selfe Commend me to all my friends And so farewell good Philautus and well shalt thou fare if thou followe the counsaile of Euphues PHilautus the water stāding in his eyes not able to answere one word vntil he had well wept replied at the last as it wer in one word saying that his counsel shuld be engrauen in his heart and hée woulde followe euery thing that was prescribed him certifiing him of his successe as eyther occasion or opportunitie shoulde serue But when friendes at departing woulde vtter most then teares hinder moste which brake off both his aunswere and stayde Euphues replye so after manye millions of embracings at the last they departed Philautus to London where I leaue him Euphues to Athens wher I meane to follow him for he it is that I am to goe with not Philautus THer was nothing that happened on the Seas worthy the writing but within few dayes Euphues hauing a merry winde arriued at Athens wher after he had visited his friends set an order in his affaires hée began to addresse his letters to Liuia touching the state of England in this manner LIuia I salute thée in the Lord c. I am at length returned out of England a place in my opinion if any such may be in the earth not inferiour to a Paradise I haue here inclosed sent thée the discription the manners the conditions the gouernment and entertainment of that countrey I haue thought it good to dedicate it to the Ladies of Italy if thou think it worthy as thou canst not otherwise cause it to be imprinted that the praise of such an Isle may cause those that dwel els wher both to commend it and meruaile at it Philautus I haue left behinde me who like an old Dog followeth his olde sent Loue wiser he is then he was wont but as yet nothing more fortunate I am in
shoulde want me too for of all my apparell I would haue my cappe sit close Uertue I cannot mislyke which he thertoo I haue honoured but such a crooked Apostle I neuer brooked for vertue may well fat my minde but it will neuer féede mine eye and in mariage as market folkes tell me the husband should haue two eyes the wife but one but in such a match it is as good to haue no eye as no appetite But to aunswere of thrée inconueniences which I would chuse although each threaten a mischiefe I must néedes take the wise wanton who if by hir wantonnesse she will neuer want where she lykes yet by hir wit she will euer conceale whom she loues to weare a horne and not know it will do me no more harme then to eate a Flye and not sée it Iffida I know not whether stong with mine aunswer or not content with my opinion replyed in this maÌ„ner Then Fidus when you match God sende you such a one as you lyke best but be sure alwayes y t your head be not higher then your hat And thus faining an excuse departed to hir lodging which caused all the companye to breake off their determined pastimes leauing me perplexed with a hundred contrary imaginations For this Philautus thought I that either I did not hit the question which she would or that I hit it too ful against hir will for to say the truth wittie she was and somewhat merry but God knoweth so farre from wantonnes as my self was from wisdome I as farre from thinking ill of hir as I found hir from taking me well Thus all night tossing in my bedde I determined the next day if any opportunitie wer offered to offer also my importunate seruice And found the time fit though hir minde so froward that to thinke of it my hart throbbeth and to vtter it will bléede freshly The next day I comming to the gallery wher she was solytarily walking with hir frowning cloth as sick lately of the sullens vnderstanding my father to be gone on hunting and all other the Gentlewomen either walked throade to take the ayre or not yet readye to come out of their chambers I aduentured in one ship to putte all my wealth and at this time to open my long concealed loue determining either to be a Knight as we say or a knitter of cappes And in this manner I vttered my first speach LAdy to make a long preamble to a short sute would séeme superfluous and to beginne abruptly in a matter of great waight might be thought absurve so as I am brought into a doubt whether I shoulde offende you with too many words or hinder my selfe with too few She not staying for a longer treatise brake me off thus roundly Gentleman a short sute is soone made but great matters not easely graunted if your request be reasonable a word will serue if not a thousand will not suffice Therefore if there be any thing that I may doe you pleasure in sée it be honest and vse not tedious discourses or colours of rhetorike which though they be thought courtly yet are they not estéemed necessarye for the purest Emerauld shineth brightest when it hath no Dyle and trueth delyghteth when it is apparayled worst Then I thus replyed FAyre Lady as I know you wise so haue I found you courteous which two qualyties méeting in one of so rare beautie must foreshew some great meruayle and works such effects in those that either haue heard of your praise or séene your person that they are inforced to offer theÌ„selues vnto your sernice among the number of which your vassalls I though least worthye yet most willyng am nowe come to proffer both my lyfe to doe you good and my lyâ—ings to be at your commaund which franke offer procéeding of a faithful minde can neither be refused of your nor mislyked And bicause I would cutte off speaches which might séeme to fauour either of flatterie or deceipte I conclude thus that as you are the first vnto whom I haue vowed my loue so you shall be the last requiring nothing but a friendly acceptaunce of my seruice and good-will for the reward of it Iffida whose right eare began to gloe and both whose chéekes wared redde either with cholar or bashfulnesse tooke me vp thus for stumblyng GEntleman you make me blush as much for anger as shame that séeking to praise me and profer your selfe you both bring my good name into question and your ill meaning into disdaine so that thinking to present mée with your heart you haue thrust into my handes the serpent Amphisbena which hauing at each ende a stinge hurteth both wayes You tearme me faire and there-in you flatter wise and therein you meane wittie courteous which in other plaine words if you durst haue vttered it you would haue named wanton Haue you thought me Fidus so lyght that none but I could fit your loosenesse or am I the wittie wanton which you harped upon yesternight that would alwayes giue you the sting in the head you are much deceiued in me Fidus and I as much in you for you shall neuer finde me for your appetite and I had thought neuer to haue tasted you so vnpleasaunt to mine If I be amiable I will doe those things that are fit for so good a face if deformed those things which shall make me faire And howsoeuer I lyue I pardon your presumption knowing it to be no lesse common in Court then foolish to tell a faire tale to a foule Lady where-in they sharpen I confesse their wits but shew as I thinke small wisedome you among the rest bicause you would be accoÌ„pted courtly haue assayed to féele the veyne you cannot sée wherein you follow not the best Phisitions yet the most who féelyng the pulses doe alwayes saye it betokeneth an Ague and you séeing my pulses beat pleasauntly iudge me apte to fall into a fooles Feuer which least it happen to shake me héereafter I am minded to shake you off now vsing but one request wher I should séeke oft to reueng that is that you neuer attempt by worde or writing to sollicite your sute which is no more pleasant to me then the wringing of a streight shoe When she had vttered these bitter words she was going into hir chamber but I that nowe had no staye of my selfe began to stay hir and thus againe to replye IPerceiue Iffida that where the streame runneth smoothest the water is déepest and where the leaste smoake is there to be the greatest fire and wher the mildest countenaunce is there to be the melancholiest conceits I sweare to thée by the Gods and there she interrupted me againe in this manner FIdus the more you sweare the lesse I beléeue you for y t it is a practise in Loue to haue as little care of their owne oathes as they haue of others honours imitating Iuppiter who neuer kept oath he swore to Iuno thinking it lawfull in loue to haue
in England the women men are in loue constant to straungers curteous and bountifull in hospitality y e two latter we haue tryed to your cost y e other we haue heard to your paines may iustifie them all whersoeuer we become to your prayses our pleasure This onely we craue that necessitie may excuse our boldnesse and for amends we wil vse such meanes as although we cannot make you gaine much yet you shall loose lyttle Then Fidus taking Philautus by the hand spake thus to them both GEntlemen and friendes I am ashamed to receiue so many thanks for so small curtesie and so farre off it is for me to looke for ameÌ„ds for my cost as I desire nothing more then to make you amends for your company and your good wills in accompting wel of ill fare onely this I craue that at your returne after you shalbe feasted of great personages you vouchsafe to visite the Cottage of poore Fidus where you shall be no lesse welcome then Iuppiter was to Bacchus Then Euphues We haue troubled you too long and high time it is for poore Pilgrimes to take the day before them least being be-nighted they straine curtesie in an other place and as we say in Athens â—â—she and gesse in thrée dayes are stale Not-withstanding we will be bolde to sée you and in the meane season we thanke you and euer as we ought we will pray for you Thus after many farewells with as many welcomes of the one side as thankes of the other they departed and framed their steps towards London And to driue away the time Euphues began thus to instruct Philautus THou séest Philautus y e curtesie of England to surpasse and the constancie if the olde Gentleman tolde the trueth to excell which warneth vs both to be thankful for the benefits we receiue and circumspect in behauiour we vse least being vnmindfull of good turnes we be accounted ingrate and being dissolute in our liues we be thought impudent When we come into London we shall walke in the Garden of the worlde where among many flowers wée shall sée some wéedes swéete Roses and sharpe Nettles pleasant Lillies and pricking Thornes high Uines and lowe Hedges All things as the fame goeth that may either please the sight or dislike the smel either séede the eye with delight or fill the nose with infection Then good Philautus let the care I haue of thée be in stéede of graue counsell and my good wil towards thée in place of wisdome I had rather thou shouldest walke among the beddes of wholesome Potte-hearbes then the knottes of pleasaunt Flowers and better shalt thou â—nde it to gather Garlike for thy stomack then a swéete Uiolet for thy sences I feare me Philautus that séeing the amiable faces of the English Ladyes thou wilt cast off all care both of my counsaile and thine owne credit For well I knowe that a fresh coulour doth easely dim a quicke fight that a swéet Rose doth soonest pearce a fine sent that pleasaunt sirops doth chiefliest infect a delycate taste that beautiful woemen doe first of all allâ—re them that haue the wantonnest eyes and the whitest mouthes A straunge trée there is called Alpina which bringeth forth the fairest blossomes of all trées which the Bee either suspecting to be venomous or misliking bicause it is so glorious neither tasteth it nor commeth néere it In the like case Philautus would I haue thée to imitate the Bee that when thou shalt beholde the amiable blossomes of the Alpine trée in any woman thou shun theÌ„ as a place infected either with poyson to kil thée or honny to deceiue thée for it were more conuenient thou shouldest pul out thine eyes and liue without loue then to haue them cléere and be infected with lust Thou must chuse a woman as the Lapidarie doth a true Saphire who when he seeth it to glister couereth it with Dyle and then if it shine he alloweth it if not he breaketh it So if thou fal in loue with one that is beautiful cast some kinde of coulour in hir face either as it were misliking hir behauiour or hearing of hir lyghtnesse if then she looke as faire as before wooe hir win hir and weare hir Then my good Friend consider with thy selfe what thou arte an Italian where thou arte in Englande whom thou shalt loue if thou fall into that vayne an Aungell let not the eye goe beyonde thy eare nor thy tongue so farre as the féete And thus I consure thée that of all things that thou refraine from the hot fire of affection For as the precious stone Autharsitis béeing throwne into the fire looketh black and halfe dead but being cast into the water glistreth like the Sunne beames so the precious minde of man once put into the flame of loue is as it were vglye and loseth his vertue but sprinckled with the water of wisedome and detestation of such fond delights it shineth lyke the golden rayes of Phoebus And it shall not be amisse though my Phisicke be simple to prescribe a straight diot before thou fall into thine â—lde disease First let thy apparell be but meane neyther too braue to shew thy pride nor to base to bewray thy pouertie be as carefull to kéepe thy mouth from wine as thy fingers from fyre Wine is the glasse of the minde and the onely sauce that Bacchus gaue Ceres when he fell in loue be not daintie mouthed a fine taste noteth the fond appetites that Venus said hir Adonis to haue who séeing him to take chiefest delight in costly cates smyling said this I am glad that my Adonis hath a swéete tooth in his head and who knoweth not what followeth But I will not wade to farre seing heretofore as wel in my cooling card as at diuers other times I haue giueÌ„ thée a caueat in this vanitie of loue to haue a care yet me thinketh the more I warne thée the lesse I dare trust thée for I know not how it commeth to passe that euery minute I am troubled in minde about thée When Euphues had ended Philautus thus began EVphues I thinke thou wast borne with this worde loue in thy mouth or that thou art bewitched with it in minde for there is scarce thrée words vttered to mée but the third is loue which how often I haue answered thou knowest and yet that I speake as I think thou neuer beléeuest either thinking thy selfe a God to know thoughts or me worse then a Diuell not to acknoweldge them When I shall giue any occasion warne me that I shold giue none thou hast already armed me so that this perswade thy selfe I will sticke as close to thée as the soale doth to the shoe But truely I must néedes commende the curtesie of England and olde Fidus for his constancy to his Ladye Iffida and hir faith to hir friende Thirsus the remembrance of which discourse did often bring into my minde the hate I bare to Lucilla who loued all
and was not founde faithfull to any But I lette that passe leaste thou come in againe with thy fa-burthen and hit me in the téeth with loue for thou hast so charmed me that I dare not speak any word that may be wrested to charity least thou say I meane loue and in truth I thinke there is no more difference betwéene them then betwéene a Broome and a Besome I wil follow thy dyot and thy counsaile I thank thée for thy good will so that I wil now walke vnder the shadow be at thy coÌ„maundemeÌ„t Not so answered Euphues but if thou followe me I dare be thy warrant we will not offende much Much talke there was in the way which much shortned their way and at last they came to London where they met diuers straungers of their friends who in small space brought them familiarly acquainted with certaine English gentlemen who much delighted in the company of Euphues whom they found both â—ober wise yet somtimes merry pleasant They wer brought into all places of the Citie lodged at the last in a Merchaunts house where they continued till a certaine breach They vsed continually the court in the which Euphues tooke such delight that he accoÌ„pted all the prayses he hard of it before rather to be enuious then otherwise to be parcial not giuing so much as it deserued yet to be pardoned bicause they coulde not It hapned y t these English Gentlemen conducted these two straungers to a place wâ—er diuers Gentlewomen were some courtiers others of the country where being welcome they frequented almost euery daye for the space of one moneth entertaining of time in courtly pastimes though not in the court insomuch that if they came not they were sent for and so vsed as they had bene countrymen not straungers Philautus with this continuall accesse and often conference with gentlewomen began to weane himselfe from the counsaile of Euphues and to wed his eyes to the comlinesse of Ladies yet so warily as neither his friend could by narrow watching discouer it neither did he by anye wanton countenaunce bewray it but carying the Image of Loue engrauen in the bottome of his hart and the picture of curtesie imprinted in his face he was thought to Euphues courtly and knowen to himselfe comfortlesse Among a number of Ladies he fixed his eyes vpon one whose countenaunce séemed to promise mercy and threaten mischiefe intermedling a desire of lyking with a disdaine of loue shewing hir selfe in courtesie to be familiar with all and with a certein comely pride to accept none whose wit would commonly taunt without despite but not without disport as one that séemed to abhorre loue worse then lust and lust worse then murther of greater beautie then birth and yet of lesse beautie then honestie which gate hir more honor by vertue then nature could by Art or Fortune might by promotion she was redy of aunswere yet wary shril of speach yet swéete in all hir passions so teÌ„perate as in hir greatest mirth none would think hir wanton neither in hiâ— déepest griefe sullom but alwayes to looke with so sober chéerefulnesse as it was hardly thought where she were more commended for hir grauitie of the aged or for hir courtlinesse of the youth oftentimes delyghted to beare discourses of Loue but euer desirous to bée instructed in Learninge somewhat curyous to héepâ— hir Beautie which made hir comelye but more carefull to increase hir credite which made hir commendable not adding the length of a haire to courtlynesse that might detract the bredth of a haire from chastitie In all hir talke so pleasant in all hir lookes so amiable so graue modesty ioyned with so wittie mirth that they that were entangled with hir beautie were inforced to preferre hir wit before their wils and they that loued hir vertue were compelled to preferre their affections before hir wisdome whose rare qualyties caused so straunge euents that y e wise were allured to vanities and the wantons to vertue much like the riuer in Arabia which turneth golde to drosse and durt to siluer In conclusion there wanted nothing in this English Angell that nature might ad for perfection or Fortune could giue for wealth or God doth commonlye bestowe on mortall creatures And more easie it is in the discription of so rare a personage to imagine what shée had not then to repeate all she had But such a one shée was as almost they al are that serue so noble a Prince such Uirgins cary lightes before such a Vesta such Nymphes arrowes with such a Diana But why goe I about to set hir in blacke and white whome Philautus is now with all colours importraing in the Table of his heart And surely I thinke by this he is halfe madde whom long since I left in a great maze Philautus viewing all these things and more then I haue vttered for that the louers eye perceth déeper with drew himselfe secretly into his lodging and locking his dore began to debate with himselfe in this manner AH thrice vnfortunate is he that is once faithfull and better it is to be a mercilesse souldiour then a true louer the one lyueth by anothers death the other dyeth by his owne lyfe What straunge fits be these Philautus that burne thée with such a heat that thou shakest for cold and all thy bodye in a shiuering sweat in a flaming Yâ—e melteth like wax hardeneth like the Adamant Is it loue then would it were death for likelyer it is that I should loose my life then win my loue Ah Camilla but why doe I name thée when thou dost not heare me Camilla name thée I will though thou hate me But alas y e sound of thy name doth make me sound for griefe What is in me that thou shouldest not despise what is there not in thée that I should not wonder at Thou a woman the last thing God made therefore the best I a man that could not liue without thée and therefore the worst Al things were made for man as a souereigne and man made for woman as a slaue O Camilla woulde either thou hadst bene bred in Italy or I in Englande or woulde thy vertues were lesse then thy beautie or my vertues greater then my affections I see that India bringeth golde but Englande bréedeth goodnesse And had not England béene thrust into a corner of the worlde it would haue filled the whole worlde with woe Where such women are as we haue talked of in Italy heard of in Rome reade of in Greece but neuer found but in this Islande And for my parte I speake softly bicause I will not heare my selfe would there were none such here or such euery where Ah fonde Euphues my déere friende but a simple foole if thou beléeue nowe thy cooling Carde and an obstinate foole if thou doe not recant it But it may be thou layest that Carde for the eleuation of Naples like an Astronomer If it were so I