your life Though doubtless the consideration of destroying so many marvels will stop his designs Death oft-times make use of love against us so that he will have a care of your life as of his keenest weapon wherewith he brings us men under his command making us willing to yield to his stroak as the refuge of that misery into which your cruelty oft-times throws us This I know by experience as being your Slave To his Mistriss despairing of her Favour though unjustly offended against her Madam WHat avails it you to make me feel your Thorns when I have gather'd your Flower Why do you blame in words him whom you have honour'd in effects and blame him without cause who cannot praise you but unjustly Moderate your severity seeing that it offends you more then it hurts me I have protested a thousand times that I never was faulty as you thought me though it was to no purpose you believing otherwise It suffices for my satisfaction that I know the truth and that I have essay'd all the ways in the world to make you understand it though in vain Adieu most fair but yet too cruel if you leave me triumphing over the most worthy subject in the world I leave you vanquish'd by a more faithful Lover A Letter of Consolation to a Mistress upon the death of her Servant Madam I Believe that if you have been the last who have understood the death of your Servant that you will be one of the first and indeed the onely person who will in your soul celebrate the sad remembrance of him a much longer time than any of his Friends not that his merit doth oblige you for I well know that all merit loses its esteem in your presence being so perfect as you are nor your Piety though it be a thing natural to you with your other vertues but only his love and constancy as being both equally incomparable Neither do I believe that either of these do oblige you at all for though his love were very great that could not be otherwise seeing you were his object no more than his constancy whatever it were so that to say the truth I know not what can urge you to bewail his loss unless it be the goodness of your inclinations being as mild and sweet as you are fair and consequently full of Piety I should weep my self for having the least thought to condemn your tears yet give me leave to believe that when you remember that the fires proceeding from your eyes did help to consume his life it would make them weep for sorrow Now what punishment will you impose upon your Beauty if there be nothing in you that hath partaken of the millions of pains which he hath endured for your sake Certainly you ought to suffer Shipwrack in the Sea of your tears unless the God of Love have need of you for one of his Altars Since you are the only Idol to whom all mortals will present the sacrifices of their Servitude And as for my self who have undertaken to succeed to the merits and constancy of your deceased Servant I will not give assurances in words for deeds themselves shall always be my sureties Dry up your tears stop your sighs I summon you to this duty in the behalf of Reason it self knowing that his Commands are to be obey'd Madam when I first put Pen to Paper I had a design to comfort you but knowing the greatness of your resolution against all sorts of accidents I chang'd my intention to assure you of the love and servitude that I have vow'd to you under the title of Madam Your most humble Servant Letters SIR I Know 't is to no purpose to dispute of Civilities with you who live in the light of the world and are so well stor'd with the best words to express them I know too well that the excellency that dwells in you begets at the same time desires to preserve as well as to acquire your favour I have but one grief that I have not Soul enough to judge of those perfections that dwell in you which though I can never attain rightly to conceive yet I am confident no man can honour them more so that should you call me your Idolater you could not strain a word that could so rightly as that express my respects toward you Sir Complements are very rare with me and therefore I request you to believe me when I say that they must be very strong cords and dangerous commandments that shall remove me from your service I know I can never deserve such violent proofs of my obedience it shall suffice me that I doubt not of your love as being Sir Your most devoted Servant To his Absent Friend SIR IF I thought Fortune could be so much our Friend I should request her to make us inseparable that I might be no more oblig'd thus to write since the entertainments that distant friends do give and take by Letters is but a picture of those between persons presents for to say the truth a Letter is but a Copy of that which makes us more curious of the original a Glass that shadows to us stronger desires to enjoy the person that is absent The very lines I receive from you carrying with them the effects of joy to hear from you and of a passion to be more near you that I might not still be forc'd to write that to you which I would willingly protest and find occasions more and more to testifie what I am and ever shall be To his Friend complaining of Neglect SIR THE Friendship which you have promised me and the service which you have protested to me force me now to demand the reason of your silence I question not but that you will want no excuse to plead for your self But I entreat you to believe that unless they be very lawful I shall not cease to complain of you You do well to lay the fault sometimes upon your urgent occasions sometimes upon the indisposition of your body but all this is no satisfaction to me Confess but your fault crave pardon and you shall have it presently granted This is the way to preserve eternally the friendship of Your most humble Servant The Answer SIR YOu do me so great a favour in complaining of me that I am constrained to give you thanks instead of taking the least offence at you This is not because I want excuses to authorize my silence but the interest that you have in me which makes me to condemn my self resolving hence forward that you shall rather complain of my importunity then of my sloathfulness Which is the protestation of Sir Your most humble Servant Return of Thanks SIR I Protest that you have obliged me with a Favour and that so perfectly that I must be your Debtor all the dayes of my life I wish that an opportunity would offer it self for you to employ me in your service that I might testifie to you that since your favours
A Dolphin qu. what thing is that which is neither fire nor moon nor star yet it shines only in the night Sol. A Gloeworm qu. Why are so many whores gone beyond sea A. To find out those Hectors that they missed in England qu. What 's the news from the Paris-garden A. That there is no inferior Officer left to carry guts to the Bears qu. What may be said of the furred Giant in the last Lord Mayors show A. That when he stood on his tip-toes he was higher then the Pageants by the head and shoulders Q. What said the gentleman to the thief when he was wak't by chance and heard him breaking in A. My friend it is your best course to tarry till an hour or two hence for I am now awake Q. What said the Farrier to the Emperick when he would have given him money for a drench for his horse A. Sir we of one profession should not take money of one another Q. what answer did the poor scholler give to the begger that said that he had a licence to beg A. That lice he might have but sence he had none to beg of a poor scholler Q. what said the gentleman to his wife when she desired him to give her a flap of the coney A. How wife before all this company B. what is a creditor A. A fellow that torments a man for his good conditions he is one of Deucalions sons begotten of a stone Q. what is a Bawd like A. A Medlar for she is never ripe till she is rotten Q. what is the reason that the out-landish woman is so hairy A. Because she is so seldom trimmed Q. why should not a married wan be called ass in his wives presence A. Because ox is more proper Q. At what season doth the patient husband love the scold his wife best A. When she is speechless Q. why are there so many whores and so few bawds A. Because they want stock though they have impudence enough to set up for themselves Q. why are short and dim sighted people more given to love then others A. Because they discern not the unhandsom features and imperfectness of women so well as those that can see Q. what is the meaning of the word Marriage A. Marry at age Q. what saying pleases a foolish Sollicitor best A. Currat lex ignoramus Q. why did the ancients paint on the borders of Cupids robe Life and Death A. Because true love lasts not onely for life but after death also Q. why have some stinking breaths A. From the evil fumes that arise from the stomack Q. why is the heart first ingendred and dead last A. Because it is the original of life and without it other parts cannot live Q wherefore is it that we are most ticklish under the soles of the feet and under the armpits A. Because the skins of those parts are more strecht and more delicate A. what is the swiftest thing in the world A. One would imagin the sun because in a day he compaseth the whole circuit of the earth but a thought is swifter then the sun for that it travelleth the whole world in a moment Q. where is the center or middlemost part of the earth A. Some Geographers write at Delphos Qu. VVhy do husbands for the most part seek wives and not wives husbands A. Because the man is still seeking of his rib which he lost when it was taken out of his side to form woman Q. VVhat is an hyporcritical Puritan A. A diseased piece of Apocrypha which bound to the Bible corrupts the whole text Q VVhat is a mans reason compared unto A. In matters of faith to fire in the first degree of his assent flame next smoak and then nothing Q. VVhy is it dangerous to marry a widow A. Because she hath cast her rider Q. Now Marriot is dead who is the greatest eater A. One that is living Q. VVhat said the boy to the Cuckold when he askt him why he stared him so in the face A. Truly Gaffer quoth the boy for no hurt but because every body said that you had horns on your forehead I looked and indeed Gaffer I could see none Q. VVhat said the wench to the genleman that hit her a clap on the breech and cryed I marry here is a plump one indeed A. Truly said she if you should blow as much wind in there as I have blown out you would say it were plump to some purpose Q. What was said to the dwarf A. That he should still carry some sweet thing in his hand to smell to whose nose is level'd to every mans tale that he followeth Q. What is said to be the beautifullest thing in the world A. The Sun but to a blind man that cannot discern his glory we may conclude vertue Q. What creature of all others sheds tears at his death A. The Hart. Q. How many miles is the earth in circuit A. It is uncertain to define it yet the learned and Astrologians are of opinion that it is four times 5400. miles howsoever in respect of the heavens they conclude it to be but a point and that every star in the eighth Sphere is esteemed bigger then the whole circumference thereof where if the body of the earth should be placed in the like splendor it would hardly appear Q. Why doth the stomach digest A. Because of the heat of the parts adjoyning to the liver and the heart Q. Why doth nature produce moystures A. Through the evil disposition of the matter and the influence of some ill constellation not being able to bring forth what she intended she bringeth forth that which she can Q. When doth the voice change in women A. At twelve years of age when their breasts begin to grow Q. What is the dolefullest Latine that a lover can speak A. Hei mihi quod nullis amor est medicabile herbis Q. What was old Chaucers Saw A. Lord be merciful unto us Fools or Knaves will else undo us Q. What place is the worst to learn French in A. The Low Countreys Q. what 's the best Rhetorick a man can use A. To speak to the purpose Q. what Rhetorick is most graceful in a woman A. A beautiful face Q. what companion should a man be most private withal A. A handsom Wench Q. Why did Phil. Porter dye A. Because he could live no longer Q. How do the English love the Spaniards A. Not so well as they do their silver mines Q. When should the longest grace be said A. When their is cold meat on the table Q. When will Saint James's Fair up again A. When the Sutlers wives are not so subject to lie down Q. Why do ladies always eat the kernels but leave the stones A. Because to their best apprehensions they are to be kept for anothers use Q. Why is love compared to a maze A. Because when a man is once got in he can never get out Q. Why are women more silent in love then
parallel in your Face all the Graces and in your Mind all the Vertues are met he that looks upon your mild Aspect were it the most savage creature would derive a new Nature from your Beauty On her Eyes and Lips That Eye was Juno's those Lips were once the Queen of Loves that Virgin Blush was Diana's Thus Madam You have a Donative from every Deity On her Beauty Apollo hath given you his orient Brightness Venus her curious Shape Jupiter his high and stately Forehead the God of Eloquence his flowing Speech and all the Female Deities have show'd their Bounties and Beauties on your Face On her Hair Her Hair is like the Beams that adorn Apollo's head Her Locks Soft as new spun Silk curling with such a natural wantonness as if they strove to delight the Fancy of her that wears them Her Forehead Made a stately prospect and show'd like a fair Castle commanding some goodly Countrey Her Face So full of majesty that Aurora blushes to see a countenance brighter then her own Her Face is full of Sun-shine Her Looks Have more entertainment then all the vain pomp which the Persians ever taught the world Her Eyes Dart Lightning through the Air. The Stars borrow new light from your more radiant Eyes They are able to grace the Heavens and beautifie the Skie in the clearest night They are Natures richest Diamonds set in foils of polisht Ivory Her Smiles Are so graceful and full of comfort that with them she is able to revive a dying Lover Her Cheeks Shew like Lawn spread upon Roses Nature painted the colour thereof in the most glorious Tulips They are slips of Paradise not to be gather'd but wondred at Her Breath So sweet that the Arabian Odours seem to borrow their excellency from thence It expires more sweet Odours then issu'd from the palm-trees in Paradise Her Lips Are like the full ripe Cherry which when they open discover a treasury greater then that of the Indian Ivory Her Chin Shews Ilke a piece of pure and polisht Chrystal which the God of Love delights to uphold with his soft hand Her Tongue Is tipt with such a fire and powerful art as might tame the most rebellious spirit Her Brow Is Cupids Bow most sweetly bent to shoot his Darts against every heart Her Neck Of such a whiteness as exceeds the unsull'd Snow Her Words Invade the weakned senses and overcome the heart Her Voice So charming that it hath power to do more then ever Spirits or Orpheus did should the holy Church-men use it it would tie up the nightly without the addition of more exorcism Her Arms Are fit to embrace a King Her Hands Soft and smooth the violet Veins whereof run along like Mines of Turkoeses Her Breasts Are two mountains of pure Snow from the two Fountains whereof Cupid himself sucks Nectar Briefly in the Abstract of her Self She comprehends whatsoever can be imagin'd or wish'd for in the Idea of a Woman She is so heavenly a piece that when Nature had wrought her she lost her needle like one that never hop'd to work again any so fair and lively a creature An Address of Courtship to his Mistress Lady My vital breath runs coldly through my veins I am sick for your Love dearest Lady neither is there any thing but your own heart can heal me believe me also fairest of Women there is nothing beneath the Moon but your frown can grieve me Sir Methinks this is a strange fit Lady Count not my love light because 't is sudden for By Cupids Bow I swear I never knew true Love till now Sir I intreat you not to wrong your self and me your love is violent and soon will have a period for that is the most perfect love which loves for ever Such love is mine believe me divinest Beauty for although men use to lie yet do I speak truth and therefore Madam give me sentence either of life or of a speedy death can you affect so mean a person Truly Sir I should deny my thoughts to give you an absolute denial yet must I not turn disloyal to former Promises and therefore let this suffice I cannot wrong my friend Then here my love must end and in your presence thus for love I die Nay hold Sir these are soul killing passions I had rather wrong my friend then that you should wrong your self Love me dear soul or else my death is but delay'd my Vow is fixt in Heaven and no fear shall move me for my life is a death that tortures me unless you love me Give me then but a little respite and I will resolve you Alass Madam my heart denies it my blood is violent now or else never love me Love me and both Art and Nature at large shall strive to be profuse in ravishing thy sense I will entice Dalliance from thee with my smiles and I will steal away thy heart with my chaste kisses Well Sir I am yours then from all the world your wit and your person have entranc'd my soul I kiss thee Dearest for that breath and know that thou hast now joyn'd thy self to one whose life rests onely in thy sight To discourse concerning the noise of a Match Sir I am very glad to meet with you were it for no other reason but to give you joy Sir Your company is always a thing most acceptable to me and your wishes cannot be other then very fortunate yet if you please pray let me understand why you wish me so much felicity there being nothing new that I know of in my condition Sir You dissemble that which is well known to many and which hath been told me some few days since Pray Sir do the favour to tell me what it is for I can neither think nor imagine Sir They say that you intend to marry in this Town Truly Sir 't is the first news that I have heard of any such thing I can assure you Sir those that told me believe that they know very well and they take upon them to report many particulars Pray Sir be pleas'd to tell me to whom and what are the good Conditions of this Marriage perchance the person and the advantages may be such that I may speedily advise with my self and as speedily resolve Why should you do so Sir Would you marry out of your Countrey far from your friends and distant from all conveniences obliging your self to quit the sweet presence of your kindred or else to bring a strange Woman among them which of what House or Quality soever she be either will her self be despis'd or bring envy upon you Sir You have not answer'd my question but instead thereof have made a kind of sophistical digression I shall therefore come now more close to the matter the young Lady is the daughter of M.N. to whom her Mother left a very fair Estate besides a very fair Portion which her father intends to bestow upon her Sir You have told me so much that you make
maid to her daughter Good clothes hide much deformity What rare men Taylors are Men may meet but not mountains Therefore you see when Mahomet bid the Hill come to him it would not stir 't was so lazie He that wants shame shall never win credit How is that great vertue impudence here abused He that is ashamed to eat is ashamed to live If a man could live as long as he could eat I make no question but that he might easily be perswaded to lose his shame and put in sureties for the eternity of his stomach As shamefac't as a sow that slaps up a sillabub Those are your Whitson-Holiday sows that swill up whole milk-pails in the field till you may follow them home by the leakage of their tap-holes He never goes out of his way that goes to a good house This was a maxim observed by Taylor the Water-Poet in his long vacation voyages He that cannot fight let him run 'T is a notable piece of Matchavilian policy A fools bolt is soon shot That made the Gentlewoman shit in the Exchange A gentle shepherd makes the wolf shite wool 'T is a very fine way to be eased of the trouble of sheep-shearing Good words cost nothing Vnless it be Dedications and Love Verses for some men do pay for them Better may a mans foot slip then his tongue trip Commonly the tripping of the tongue and the slipping of the foot happen both together Now if a man be late abroad 't is better that his tongue should trip then his foot slip for he may chance to fall in the street and have a coach go over him Some men may better steal a horse then others look on For 't is fit that he that took least pains should have least profit When thieves fall out true men come by their own For as Philip the great King of Macedon well said Concord upholdeth all societies Therefore 't is high time for thieves to be hang'd when they cannot agree among themselves A liquorish huswife seldom makes thick pottage For she puts all her Oatmeal in Caudles Hungry dogs love dirty puddings There 's many a man hath lost his Nose by verifying this Proverb He 'l make you believe a Hare lays eggs See Browns vulgar Errors 'T is an ill winde blows no body good After meat comes mustard For their teeth watered so much after the meat that it was impossible their eyes should water after the mustard He that holds a frying-pan by the tail may turn it which way he lists See more of this in Alexius his secrets or in Aristotles book of the dyet of the Phisolophers cap. 6. of the manner of making pancakes Better no pies then pies made with scabby hands Wink and all 's well for what the eye sees not the heart never rues He that is born to be hang'd shall never be drown'd VVell fare him that is born to be hang'd say I for he goes to heaven in a string when he that is drown'd goes to hell in a ferry-boat A wary father has a prodigal son He is to be commended for not letting his fathers estate lie fallow for if he will not sow again after his great harvest his son must A man cannot make a cheverel purse of a sow's ear Ye cannot tell what a man may do there are very notable projectors living now adays Like will to like quoth the Devil to the Collier Gentlemen ye need not wonder how the Collier and the Devil came to be familiar for he is fain to keep in with that trade that he may buy his provision at the best hand against he goes to to set up his Pye corner calling MISCELANIA Fancy awakened Natural Amorous Moral Experimental Paradoxical Enigmatical Jesting and Jovial Questions with their several Answers and Solutions Davus es huc venias mox eris Oedipus alter Q. Why did Apelles paint Cupid with these words Spring-time and Winter A. By those two seasons he represented the prosperities and adversities that wait on Lovers Q Why do lovers blush on the bridal night A. Out of natural shamefastness of what they are about to do Q. What is the difference betwixt an honest and dishonest woman A. A word Q. Why do whores paint A. That they may have some colour for there Venery Q. VVhat differences a woman from a man A. Meum tuum Q. VVhy do they use to paint Cupid bare-headed A. To signifie that betwixt true lovers there should be nothing covered or concealed Q. What is the greatest wonder in a little circuit A. The face of a man Q. VVhat said the Squire when he found his man Harry in bed with his own Curtizan A. Well done Harry after me is manners Q. VVhat if there had not ben been an Act against building A. That they would have built from the So Ho to Branford Q. VVhat did the old Book-sellers Dedication Horse cost him that he use to ride on up and down the countrey A. Go look Q. What are the attendants on love A. Pleasure travel sweet bitter war peace life and death Q. What are the joyes of love A. Plays sweet sleeps soft beds ravishing musick rich perfumes delicious wines costly banquets wanton refreshing and such other soft and ravishing contentments Q. Why do the Poets bestow arrows on Cupid A. To Signifie how desperately love wounds Q. Why are the lips moveable A. For the forming of the voice and words Q. How many veins are there in the body of a man A. As many as there are days in a year Q. Why do some stammer and some lisp A. By reason of the shrinking of the sinnews which are corrupted by flegm Q. Why are we colder after dinner then before A. Because that the natural heat retireth to the stomack to further digesture Q. What Lady was that which daunced best at the Ball in Lincolns-inn-fields A. She whose foot slipping fell on her back Q. What reply was made to him that said He did not use to give the wall to every Cockscomb A. But I do Sir and so gave him the wall Q. What is an ordinary Fencer A. For flesh and blood he is like other men but sure nature meant him for a Stock fish Q. Where is reputation measured by the acre A. In the countrey Q. What are the outward signs of the body to judge of the inward disposition of the mind A. A head sharp and high crown'd imports an ill affected mind tallness of stature dullness of wit little eyes a large conscience great ears kin to Midas an ass spacious breasted long lined smooth brows without sorrow liberality a beautiful face denotes the best complexion soft flesh to be the most apt and wise to conceive and so c. Q. Who was famous for his memory A. Seneca who writes of himself that he was able to recite two thousand names after they had been once read to him Q. What will never be out of fashion A. The getting of Bastards Q. When is a Cuckolds Almanack
of Infamy doth extinguish lust as oyl doth fire Where shame and Infamy are too much inforced on a delinquent they breed too often an audacious defence of sin but no sincere repentance so the rain slides to the root and nourishes where great storms make a noise wet but the skin of the earth and run away in a swift channel Our Industry is as our soul which is not put into the body to be idle it hath too many rare and curious pieces of Mathematical motions to stand still Incontinency is a vice sooner condemn'd then banisht easily spoke against but yet will fawn as smoothly on our flesh as Circe on the Grecian travellers when she detained them in the shapes of beasts Lust and Incontinency like the plummets hanging on clock lines will never have done till all our faculties are undone and ruined Oh with what vertue should lust be withstood Since 't is fire seldom quencht without blood Lustful Incontinency is like an overswoln river that breaks all bounds it is a devil bred in blood nurst in desire that like the Salamander lives in fire Lust is a gilded pill which sinful nature doth prescribe desire strokes the sense with pleasure but at last the shining out-side leaves a bitter taste Of such an Inconstancy as boyes gay bubbles blown in the air and broken The winde is more fixt then her Inconstancy the beaten Marriner with his shrill whistle calms the loud murmurs of the troubled main and sooner strikes it smooth again then her soul to have peace in love with any Our constitutions vary herbs and trees admit their frosts and summer and why then should our desires that are so nimble and more subtil then the spirits of our blood be such staid things within us and not share their mutual Inconstancy He wears his Faith like the fashion of his hat it changes with the next block Jealousie 's fits present a man like so many bubbles in a bason of water twenty several crabbed faces many times makes his own shadow his cuckold maker The Devil gives this Jealousie to man as nature doth a tail unto a lion which thinks in heat to beat away the flies when he doth only more inrage himself A Jealous fellow is like a cowardly Captain in a Garison Town fears every assault trembles at every battery and doubts most lest the gates should be opened and his enemy let him in at midnight Those wounds heal ill that men do give themselves omision to do that is necessary seals a commission to a blank of dangers and danger like an Ague subtily taints even then when we sit idly in the sun Kings lives are fortunes misery like dainty sparks which when men dead do know to kindle for himself each man doth blow The lives of Kings should like to Dials move whose regular example is so strong they make the times by them go right or wrong Princes like lions never will be tamed a private man may yield and not care how but greater hearts will break before they 'l bow If a Kings Government be easie the many headed monster Multitudes like Aesops foolish Frogs they trample on him as a sensless block and if he prove a Stork they croak and rail against him as a Tyrant Knighthood is like Marriage now-adayes which though it honourable be with all men yet it is beggarly with a great many Law is as the worlds great Light a second Sun to this terrestrial Globe by which all things have life and being and without the which destruction and disorder soon would seize the general state of men Learning and Languages cannot set a nap upon a thred-bare gown Art is like common Fidlers draws down others meat with liquorish Tunes whilst they the scraps do eat Liberty and Publique good are like great Ollio's must have the upper end still of our Tables though they are but for show Life is the frost of cold Felicity and Death the thaw of all our vanity Life is but a walking shadow a poor Player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more Life is a tale told by an Ideot full of sound and fury signifying nothing Like to an Ass whose back with ingots bows we bear our heavy riches but journey and death unloads us Life is but a dark and stormy night of sensless dreams terrors and broken sleep a tyranny devising pains to plague and make men long in dying Love is a rasor cleansing if well used But fetcheth blood if that it be abused Love like to sin inveterate is and strong He prevents danger that destroys it yong Love can no more be dissembled then to bear hot burning coals in our bare palms or bosoms and less concealed and hidden then a flash of inflamed powder whose whole light doth lay it open to all discovery even of those who have but half an eye and less of nose Loves service is much like our honored Lord where Mignions carry more then servitors the bold and careless servants still obtains the modest and respective nothing gains Lovers are like Astronomers that when the vulgar eye discovers but a skie above studied with some few stars finde out besides strange fishes birds and beasts Lovers in favour are like Gamesters in good fortune the more you set them still the more they win Love is but a card play all is lost Unless you cog he that pricks best wins most At the games of Love we set all but the best is we cannot stake and there is no loss of credit in the breaking Love is like to wax the more it is rubbed it sticks the faster to or like a bird in bird-lime or a pit-fall the more one labors still he is the deeper in Love is an idle fantasie bred by desire nursed by delight an humor that begins his dominion in Leo the Lion the sign of the Heart and ends in Aries the Ram the sign of the Head his power is to stir the blood prick up the flesh and fill the body with libidinous heat A yong mans Love it is like Ivy it must have something to cleave to or it prospers not Love is like fasting dayes but the body is like flesh dayes and it is our English Gallants fashion to prefer a morsel of flesh before all the fasting days in the year This Love is a troublesome thing Jupiter bless us out of his fingers there is no estate can rest for him he runs through all Countries will travel through the Isle of Man in a minute but never is quiet till he comes into Middlesex and there keeps his Christmas it is his habitation his mansion from which he will never out until he be fired A Platonick Love is no other then to have men brought in Litters disguise to cuckold us in vertue Luxurious Riots are the shames of men that have the seeds of vertue in them springing to glory that drownd their spirits in lees of sloth and yield the glories of the day
my mouth water I know her Father well he is a Gentleman of worth and honour the young Lady is Fair Wise and Rich which are three good qualities And truly I do not so much mislike her but that if I thought I had so much interest in her Affections as that I should be master of them for asking I would run the hazard of sending one packet Surely Sir you must know something I am told that you do not speak the truth dissemble the matter as well as you can Believe it Sir nothing to any such purpose has been so much as mention'd by me Those that report this are persons that take all occasions to babble and urge the least appearances of a thing for certainties and certainly this rumour comes from my frequenting often the places thereabouts or because that now and then I go to see her Father Sir That may be very likely but 't is very incredible but that there must be something in it you know there is no smoak but there is some fire Truly Sir I do not wonder at all at it for we must give the world leave to talk But do you believe you should do well to engage your self in a business of such importance on which not only your fortune but the content of your Parents depends Be confident Sir that I was never counted a rash person yet I have such an assurance in the paternal care and wisdom of my friends that if any advantage did present it self in my behalf they would not stick to quit some part of their content for my good Sir You have fully satisfi'd me and if there be any thing begun already I wish you all happiness and content Several Addresses of perfect Courtship Lady Who are inspir'd with all the praises that the world can bestow upon your sex I am come to offer you my service which you may at present only call obedient hoping that your better knowledge thereof will stile it faithful Truly Sir I think that fame is more favourable to me then truth seeing that all that which is publish'd concerning me proves so false and therefore you have reason to present me your feigned service in obedience to my feigned merits Madam You wrong your Beauty which being so great can work no other designs in men but those of truly honoring you Sir This confirms my former opinion for seeing my self without Beauty of which you cannot be ignorant I must necessarily be unprovided of all those Services that depend thereon Madam I fear I should sin against the truth should I put my self to the trouble to make you see them it is a thing so visible of it self that by endeavouring to demonstrate it by words I should presume to assist your judgment Sir I find that you are easily able to overcome my Rhetorick but not my Belief Madam I am confident to gain this advantage by showing the proofs of my Obedience that men will condemn your misbelief to authorize my true sayings Sir Such kind of words as these are usual in this age which promise alwayes a great deal of Service but performs little but outward Complement Madam 't is very ordinary to swear the same words but a thing very extraordinary to make them afterwards appear to be truth But that which may assure you that I do not walk the common path is That I know your Beauty to be such as is onely to be serv'd by knowledge not by imtation which makes my Design glorious and my Enterprize noble that waits on such an Object Sir I know not how you can call this an Enterprize since your Design is more easie then courageous and a noble Enterprize hath always difficulties that opose it Madam My resolution to serve you is so magnanimous that there can no ill fortune attend upon it for if you do make the end happy it will be always an honour to my courage to have and to pretend to your accomplish'd Graces Sir Since you do establish your content upon unhappiness your hopes cannot deceive you much for if it do deceive you it will be in making you happy Madam I can easily count it an honour to serve you as being oblig'd by your merit and my obedience Sir I shall never counsel a generous soul to stop at such Designs since his resolution is so low that infallibly both the Design must fail and Repentance ensue Madam That which animates me more to do you service is this That I shall receive this honour from the Enteprize that there is no small difficulty in performing it with that perfection as it requires Sir If you do give such proofs as you offer of service you shall be acknowledg'd through the whole Empire of Love Madam Since I have the courage to pretend to the merit of your fair Graces I shall have a care to keep my self constant and certainly it behooves me there being so strict a watch over me The Departure Adieu dear Beauty it behooves me to be banish'd from you that I may dispose my Soul to esteem you the more one way by the loss of your presence another way by recollecting the thoughts of past happiness Truly Sir you have very great reason to make use of your Fancy when you would praise me for Fancy and Thoughts will forge imagenary Merits where your Eyes and Judgement will finde the contrary Madam You do very well make use of a new custom I believe you would perswade your self to speak false that you might have an advantage over one that breath nothing but the truth is it possible that such a vanity should make you offend that which I honour and that which you possess Truly Madam you will gain nothing by it but the pleasure of fine words Sir Call them rather true and then you will speak truth your self You continue Madam acquiring new glories to your perswasions by maintaining Paradoxes against your Beauty which will be alwayes perfect in it self though not in your opinion Sir If I am perfect I do know my self perfection being the knowledge of ones self since therefore I do know my self I may be permitted to stile my self very poor in Merits But you would perswade the contrary to exercise your parts knowing that it is a greater honour to vanquish the Truth then to sustain it Madam The design which I have to serve you may give you testimony sufficient of that power which you have to dispose of me In one moment I saw you enjoying a thousand wonders and in a moment I was sensible of a thousand torments of Love and being capable of nothing but Admiration methought that this Beauty was in the world for no other end but deserve and for me to be obedient to I see no reason Fairest that the belief which I have taken with the clearest judgement that I have of your Beauty should be swallow'd up by your misbelieving opinions Sir They say that contrariety doth animate persons the more and therefore I shall be
silent that I may hinder these unjust Praises perhaps you will have pitty on my feeble resistance and will be weary of conquering so easily Madam 'T is rather my self that ought to keep silent being so lately in an astonishment but as for you Madam it would be a sin against your fair lips whose words are Oracles Then pray Sir why do you not believe that which I say for all Oracles are truth But why will you Madam by perswasion hinder the belief which I have taken with sight and judgment For I will believe your Beauty against all your unbelief and undervaluings and also continue the Service which I have sworn you against any thing that shall hinder it My Attempt also hath promis'd my Design that future Ages shall admire your Merit and my Servitude and record us as the most faithful Lovers in Cupid's Dominions I fear Sir that time will alter this opinion Madam Time can do nothing against that which Love hath ordain'd he is the master of Fortune and an enemy to change But wherefore this superfluity of speech It is better to believe by the force of Words then by the force of Perswasion and therefore at this time it is more necessary for me to demand of you Remedies for this remove the apprehension whereof makes me endure this present pain Sir It behooves you to forget your Design and you will avoid the Pain that will follow and also the Repentance No Madam I will keep the memory of my Design eternally and shall always see painted before me the glory of my Enterprize Adieu great Beauty you shall never cast your eyes downward but you shall perceive lying at your feet him that admires you nor ever elevate your Thoughts to your deserts but you shall remember your conquest Adieu Fairest for now I leave the Sun and go to seek out Night and Sorrows cell The Return I come Madam to receive as much content from your chearful Countenance as the loss of it hath yielded me sorrow I know the Good will now be as great as the Evil since they proceed both from the same cause Sir I do believe that you do receive the one as well as you have suffer'd the other but I beseech you Sir to tell me from whence that pain proceeds which you say you do endure for as to my self I do believe that the pleasure of Thinking is greater then that of Seeing Madam It is permitted me to think but experiment forbids me believe that opinion for I receive from my Imaginations only a good imagination on the contrary the sight cannot err But it is said Sir that the presence only contents the Eyes which are Mortal but that absence exercises the Soul which is Divine and therefore if that did any way afflict you you might easily avoid it It was some good Genius Madam that took me yesterday from your eyes that I might the better value the happiness of their lustre and avoid the extremity of that pain which the loss of them made me endure causing in me such an impatience to return to you that every hour I staid from you seem'd an age Sir That which is foreseen is easily avoided Now you perceive whence the evil that you speak of proceeds yet the little occasion that you had to fear it makes you find it out willingly therefore blame your own desires which have procur'd you this evil and do not complain on Destiny which is always just Madam My Will is not the cause for then I should fly my self and come back to you but Love to abuse me the more gave me the Desire and hinder'd the Effect Though I believe it to be one of his Destinies for it behooves a true passion to overcome the violence of all opposition by a diligent constancy Demand of Assurance Fairest It is now time that I should require from you some Assurances of your friendship because I cannot grant you that authority which you have over my Affections but by the service which I am willing to render to your power The proof whereof depends upon opportunity and the opportunity occasion upon your commands swear to me therefore by your fair Eyes that you love that which they have subdu'd that I may boast my ruine to be a mark as well of my glory as of your puissance Do you think Sir that that which is ruin'd by the Eyes can be belov'd by the Heart Dear Lady why should you not affect that love which you your self have created Would you cause it to be born and dye at the same instant that would be the action of an inconstant soul It is you Sir that run the hazard of being call'd by that name for if love proceed from merit you will soon finde some one more worthy your Affection then my self Madam I shall never seek the means to find any more signal worth then that which you possess it is permitted to those who are less worthy to have such jealousies but not to you whose Beauty hath such a supereminence above all others in the world No Madam take counsel of your own worth and it will shew the fair Election which I have made how impossible it is to be changed the design coming from the judgement of our Soul which being Divine cannot erre But Sir they say that love is very subject to knowledge of which you being so well provided 't is to be fear'd that you may make use of those agreeable diversities that Love doth every day present to unfaithful Lovers Madam May he banish me from his Empire if I have any other Will then what is agreeable to his He sees that I am yours so his Power and my Will are agreed my Designs concur with his Commands Sir I believe that Love himself could not know how to force you to love He scar'd Madam lest he should be made himself a slave He hath no force able to resist your puissance unless it be your own therefore since you have this Glory entire to your self to have vanquish'd all the world there remains nothing now but that you should vanquish your self Sir I cannot do any thing else but vanquish having neither Will nor Thought which doth not render obedience to that duty which I have taken to be the perfect guide of my life Madam You oppose your Designs to my Prayers to the end this refusal may redouble my passion and cause me to persist more eagerly in the pursuit of your tempting Graces yet it suffices that the pain and difficulties of the acquest will remain the glory of my conquest If it be your Difficulties Sir that can create your Glory why do you complain Madam I do not repine at the pain but at your unkindness that will not acknowledge it but if that be not so I do conjure your fair Lips to produce some assurance of your friendship Will Sir then I do promise your servitude to acknowledge it for the price of your constancy and believe this that as
Elves And if the House be foul Or Platter Dish or Bowl Up stairs we nimbly creep And find the sluts asleep There we pinch their arms and thighs None escapes nor none espies But if the house be swept And from uncleanness kept We praise the Houshold-maid And surely she is paid For we do use before we go To drop a Tester in her Shoe Upon a Mushrom's head Our table we do spread A Corn of Rie or Wheat Is Manchet which we eat Pearly drops of dew we drink In Acorn Cups fill'd to the brink The brains of Nightingales The unctious dew of Snailes Between two Nut-shels stew'd Is meat that 's easily chew'd And the beards of little Mice Do make a feast of wondrous price On tops of dewie grass So nimbly do we pass The young and tender stalk Ne're bends when we do walk Yet in the morning may be seen Where we the night before have been The Grashopper and Flie Serve for our minstrelsie Grace said we dance a while And so the time beguile And when the Moon doth hide her head The Gloe-worm lights us home to bed Cupid Contemn'd CVpid thou art a sluggish Boy and dost neglect thy calling Thy Bow and Arrows are a toy thy monarchy is falling Unless thou dost recall thy self and take thy tools about thee Thou wilt be scorn'd by every Elf and all the world will flout thee Rouze up thy spirit like a God and play the Archer finely Let none escape thy Shaft or Rod ' gainst thee have spoke unkindly So may'st thou chance to plague that heart That cruelly hath made me smart Bootless Complaint THough bootless I must needs complain my faults are so extream I loved and was belov'd again yet all was but a dream For as that love was quickly got so was it quickly gone I 'le love no more a flame so hot I 'le rather let 't alone The Departure WE must not love as others do With sighs and tears as we were two Though with this outward form we part We find each other in our heart What search hath found a being where I am not if that thou be there True love hath wings and will assoon Survey the World as Sun or Moon And every where our triumph keep Our absence which makes others weep Shews it thereby a power is given To love on Earth as they in Heaven To a Laedy in Prison LOok out bright eyes and clear the air even in shadows you are fair Caged beauty is like fire that breakes out clearer still and higher Though the body be confin'd and soft Love a prisoner bound Yet the beauty of your mind neither check nor chain hath found Look out nobly then and dare Even the fetters that you wear To Sorrow Sorrow why dost thou seek to tempt my quiet soul to misery and wo My constant thoughts from thine assaults exempt Inur'd to fortunes crosses long ago Go seek out some who doth affect thy pain If none thou find'st return to me again When elder years witness my race as run and hoary locks my hollow temples fill When I shall sit and say the world is done sorrow return and satisfie thy will Till then go seek out some who affects thy pain If none thou find'st return to me again Constancy resolved COme constant hearts that so prevail That every passion puts in hail My innocence shall dare as far To bid the Tyrant open war If warm'd with pride he kindle fires We 'l drown them in our chaste desires If he assail with Dart and Bow We 'l hide them in the hills of snow So shall his heart plagu'd mourn and die While we smile at his memory And keep our hearts our eyes and ears Free from vain sighs sad groans and tears Lose no time LOse no time nor youth but be Kind to men as they to thee The fair Lillies that now grow In thy cheeks and purely show The Cherry and the Rose that blow If too long they hang and waste Winter comes that all will blast Thou art ripe full ripe for Men In thy sweets be gather'd then Song NOt Roses couch'd within a lilly bed are those commixtures that depaint thy face Nor yet the white that silver Hyems head mix'd with the dewy mornings purple grace but thou whose face my senses captive led Whom I erst fondly deem'd of heav'nly race Hast from my guiltless blood which thou hast shed And envious paleness got thy white and red Song REad in the Roses the sad story Of my hard fate and your own glory In the white you may discover The paleness of a fainting Lover In the red the flames still feeding On my heart with fresh wounds bleeding The white will tell you how I languish And the red express my anguish The frown that on your brows recided Have the Roses thus divided O let your smiles but clear the weather And then they both shall grow together Dying to Live YOung Thirsis laid in Phillis lap and gazing on her eye Tyought life too mean for such good hap and fain the Lad would die When Phillis who the force did prove of Love as well as he Cry'd to him Stay a while my Love and I will die with thee So did these happy Lovers die but with so little pain That both to life immediately return'd to die again Who his Mistress is WIll you know my Mistress face 't is a Garden full of Roses When the Spring in every place white and blushing red discloses 'T is a Paradise where all That attempt the fruit must fall 2. Will you know her forehead fair 't is heavenly living Sphere Under which the veins like air all Celestial blew appear But those burning Suns her Eyes He that dares live under dies 3. Will you know her body now 't is a tall ship under sail From the rudder to the prow nothing but Imperial But that foolish man that stears Fills his Compass by his fears 4. Shall I now her mind declare 't is a body arm'd for war Marching in proportion fair till the Lover hopes too far Then her eyes give fire and all Within level helpless fall In praise of Fools FOols they are the only nation Worth mens envy or admiration Free from love and sorrow taking Themselves and others merry making O who would not be He He He. All they speak or do is sterling your Fool he is your great mans darling And your Ladies sport and pleasure tongue and babble are his treasure Even his face begetth laughter and he speaks truth free from slaughter He 's the grace of every feast And sometimes is the chiefest guest Hath his Trencher and his Stool When Wit waits upon the Fool. O! who would not be Hee Hee Hee The Impolitick Beauty CLoris I wish that envy were As just as pity doth appear Unto thy state whereby I might Rob others to give thee more delight But your too free though lovely charms In others glory breeds your harms But since you so admit So many
like A. A pair of bellows whose breath is cold yet makes others burn Q. Who hath more pleasure on the bridal night the man or the woman A. The woman who though she rises like blushing Aurora yet such a tel-tail lightsomness chearfulness and mirth appears in her face as discovers the chaste and pleasant content she received from her bridegroom Q. What is the highest respect an honest wife can tender her husband A. To expose her self to his embraces to make him lord of her body and commander of her thoughts Q. Why doth a drunkard think that all things turn round about him A. Because the spirits that serve the sight are mingled with the vapors of the drink which with too much heat cause the eye to be continually moving Q. Why do gentlemen so powder their Periwigs A. Because all their own hair comes off Q. How did the gentleman requite his blind bears courtesie A. She burnt him and the fire shovel burnt her Q. Why do Apprentises wear no cuffs A. Because they cannot abide to were those that are of their masters giving Q. Why cannot the Spaniards so properly now as formerly for their keeping of forts be compared to crab-lice A. Because the English have of late so put them to the shrug that they are always upon remove Q. Why doth Cupid of a blind archer shoot so well A. Because for the most part he hits the mark Q. Why is wealth better then wit A. Because few Poets have had the fortune to be chosen Aldermen Q. What said the fellow to the sleeping watchman when he stole away his lanthorn A. Good night Q. What is the worst argument a Vintner can use against the late act for the prizes of wine A. To draw bad wine Qu. What said the Welsh-man that by his reading saved his life when after they had burnt him in the hand they bid him cry God save the King A. Nay quoth he rather God bless my father and mother for if they had not brought me up to reading I might have been hanged for all the King Q. To one that excepted that another had saluted his Mistress A. This answer was given that as he had kist her before he might if he pleased kiss her behind Q. what is the greatest traveller next to a man A. A louse because he always bears him company Q. what is a fellow of a house A He is one that speaks swords and fights ergo's Q. What is that which makes no difference betwixt a wise man and a fool A. Sleep Q. wherefore are the morning studies best A. Because the spirits are more free after their repose and the brain and organs of the body are discharged of the fumes and vapor that arise from the nourishment the digestion being finisht Q. wherefore in winter do we smell perfumes less then in summer A. Because that the cold thickens the air Q. what stone is that which neither yields to the fire nor the hammer A. The Adamant which is only dissolved by Goats blood Q. How is the taste best discerned A. By the veins which spread though the tongue and pallat to distinguish of every relish Q. A gentleman hawked in a farmers ground for which the farmer being much incensed gave him base words which provoked the gentleman so highly that he spit in his face at which the farmer being amazed askt him what was his reason for the affront A. The gentleman answered what would you be at I could do no more then give you warning I hawked before I spet Q. To one that said that lead was the basest mettal of all mettal A. One replied Sir it is so but yet it is the stoutest for the Glasier will tell you that it keeps more quarrels asunder then any other mettal in the world Q what answer was made to him by the Judge who fearing the cause would go against him desir'd a longer day of hearing A. The Judge answered that he should have one it should be on Saint Barnabies day next Q. what reply was made to her that had never a Child yet she thankt God that she had a husband of very good parts A. It is true replied one of the neighbours I acknowledge him to be a man of good parts but yet he canot multiply Q. VVhy do women take those for asses that are too importunate A. As they are sensible of their own imperfections they admire men should descend so below their understandings to be so simply sensual Q. VVhat things are Chiefly in opposition to true love A. Shame and fear Q. VVhy is love painted naked A. To shew that all the acts and deeds of love ought to be open such as are free from treachery or dissimulation Q. wherefore is it that by the rubbing of our eyes we cease to sneeze A. Because that this rubbing excites heat in the eyes near which we make the sneezing and that being a stranger heat nevertheless a more strong extincts the other heat which caused the sneezing Q. Wherefore is it that in summer we drink more and in winter we eat more A. Because as the summer dries our bodies so we are forced to moisten them and in the winter the cold predominating on the exterior and natural heat inforces it self and gathered all into the interior whereby we eat digest our meat the better Q. what creatures of all others as Naturalists write are the worst that the earth nourisheth A. Of beasts tygers of men adulterers and flatterers Q. from whence proceeds jealousie A. From envy and love Envy to see him whom a Mistress loves to love another out of love as she is fearful to lose him who is her best beloved Q. why is a Drunkard a good Philosopher A. Because that he thinks the world goes round Q. what said Sir Benjamin Ruddiard of Master P A. That he was too high for this world and too low for the world to come Q. what is the least part of the body yet darkens the whole body A. The eye-lid the hair whereof neither waxeth more nor groweth longer qu. why are the Italians said to be so jealous A. Because they keep all under lock and key qu. what is the name of that fish which of all others pleases women best A. Plase qu. why are Taylers of such esteem A. Because they are men of great reckoning qu. How did a gentleman of late requite him that gave him the horns A. He bit off a convenient piece of his nose as they were together in a coach over against the Half-moon Tavern in the Strand qu. what death would a Dutch man soonest chuse A. To be drown'd in a barrel of English beer qu. what said the gentleman to him that wrangled with him at cards and called him knave A. Sir said he you are a court card that is neither king nor queen qu. What reply made the Lock-Smiths wife to her husband when he would ntver let her be quiet but according to his jealous custom preacht to
her a sermon out of his trade of what bars bolts and locks belonged to the chastity of an honest wife A. What a coil is here quoth she with your bars your bolts and your locks you are a little too conceited of your trade when there is never a Tapster nor Ostler that I know but hath as good a key to open it as any Lock-Smith of you all qu. what is good manners in a Chamber-maid A. To exercise her patience behind the hangings whilst her Mistress is busie with a gentleman in the same room qu. what said the French madam to her husband when she went to bed to her Lodger in the next room A. Husband I went only to the Chamber-pot qu. what if dreams and wishes had been all true A. There had not been since Popery one Nun to make a maid of qu. How do you define a Serjeant A. He is for the most part the spawn of a decayed Shop-keeper a hangman and he are twins only a hangman is his eldest brother qu. what is an Almanack maker A. He is a tenant by custom to the Planets of whom he holds the twelve signs by lease parol to which he pays yearly rent qu. which at all times is the best bed-fellow A. Sleep qu. why are women at all seasons more prone to love then other creatures A. Because they are naturally more soft and ticklish qu. whether is the man or woman more constant in love A. The man as he is of a more firm body and spirit qu. Why did Paris see the Goddess naked when he was appointed to give his judgment about the ball A. Because many have handsome faces that if they were stript of their cloaths have such nasty deformity on their bodies that a Beadle of the wand would sooner lose his place then approach them with a clean whip qu. why did the admired Painter Xerxes figure Cupid in a green robe A. Not only to express the youthfulness of love but also to moralize what the colour green signifies which is Hope qu. How may carnal copulation be civilly defined A. It is a mutual action of male and female with convenient instruments ordained and deputed for generation to maintain and multiply the species and kind of every creature qu. why is that saying That the falling out of lovers is the beginning of love A. Because love is like a flame that increaseth with every blast qu what kind of people are those that being as beasts themselves set upon beasts carry beasts in their hands have beasts running about them and all to pursue and kill beasts Sol. Unlearned Hunts-men qu. wherefore is the world round A. To signifie that it nor all in it can fill the heart of man which is triangular qu. what are the benefits of good sents and perfumes A. To purifie the brain refine the wit and awaken the fancy qu. Is lying of any ancient standing A. Yes but not as the atheistical writer antedates and before Adam Q. why is immoderate venery hurtful A. Because it destroyes the sight spends the spirits dries up the radical moisture which is instanced by the naturalists in the Sparrows which by reason of their often coupling live but three years Q. Whence comes it that those that are born deaf are also dumb A. There is a certain tie or conjunction of the nerves which stretch to the ears and from the tongue the which being indisposed from the birth it must of necessity be that those two faculties should be equally affected onely it is confessed that certain sicknesses may make one deaf without being dumb and on the contrary one may be made dumb without being deaf because it may so fall out that one branch of the nerve may be offended without hurting the other Q. Why do lovers sit up with one another whole nights A. Because they cannot go to bed together Q. May a lover die with too much loving A. Yes as 't is in the Song for the space of half an hour but no longer Q. Why is Cupid pictured blinde A. Because he uses in the dark to play at blind-man-buff Q. why do the Dutch eat so much butter A Because they have there fish so cheap Q. what said the Gardiner to his wife when she came to see him hang'd A. Get you to work you whore weed weed for bread for your children is this a time for you to see showes Q. What think you of the wife that said the Taylor her husband was not fit for her A. She had a minde to measure with a yard of her own chusing Q. What said one of a marriage that was made betwixt a widow of a vast fortune and a Gentleman of a great house that had no estate A. That the marriage was like a black pudding one brought blood and the other brought suet and oatmeal Q. What may a porter of the city gates becompared unto A. Cerberus that would not let the wandring ghosts pass without a sop Q. Why should a fair womans neck be awry A. Then it stands as if she lookt for a kiss Q. what is a Mountebank A. He is one that if he can but come by the names of diseases to stuff his Bill with he hath a sufficient stock to set up withall Q. what Officer keeps his Oath most strictly to the City A. A Serjeant for he swears to be a true Varlet to the city and he continues so to his dying day Q. what trick will the Vintners use after walnuts are out of season to keep up their price of sack A. Cunning knaves need no Brokers Q. whether is the water or the earth bigger A. The water is bigger then the earth the air is bigger then the water and the fire bigger then the air Q. How many bones are there in the body of a man A. In the Head 49. in the Breast 67. in the Hands 61. in the Feet 60. the vulgar opinion is that there is in all 284. Q. How may one distinguish of the height of things A. The Sea is higher then the Earth the Air is higher then the Sea the Fire then the Air and the Poles above them Q. why doth a chaste woman love him exceedingly that had her virginity A. Because of her shamefac'tness as also out of an esteem of him to whom she intrusted her credit Q. what herb of all others most present the form of a man A. A mandrake Q. what birds of all others are the most perfect heralds of the Spring A. The Swallow and the Cuckow Q. At what time do womens breasts begin first to increase A. At fourteen Q. what is conjectured of him that made the song of the Bulls feather A. That there is one about the the town that can pretend more reason to sing it better then himself Q. why did a Pulpit cuffer about London cry out so for bows and arrows bows and arrows A. Because according to the Proverb a fools bolt is soon shot Q. why do some women blush so A.
spent its fuel Intemperate Agues make Physicians cruel Pluto the God of Riches when he is sent by Jupiter to any man goes limping to signifie that wealth that comes in Gods name comes slowly but when it is sent on the Devils errand it rides post comes in by scuttles full Lovers Swearing and Forswearings are like Mariners Prayers uttered in extremity but when the tempest is over and the Vessel leaves tumbling they fall from protesting to drinking and yet amongst yong Gentlemen protesting and drinking do go together and agree as well as Shoe-makers and Westphalia Bacon they are both drawers on for drink draws on protestations and protestations and oaths draw on more drink Success is a rare paint it hides all ugliness Success like Lethe to the souls in bliss makes them forget things past and crowns our sins with the name of valor be we never so impious a scelus foelix stiles us vertuous They are like to Thrive whom fate in spite of storms doth keep alive Never yet was any Nation read of so besotted in reason as to adore the setting Sun many adored him rising The Soul is a tree whence several branches spread loving affections suffering sorrows these affections and sorrows as they are branches sometimes are lopt off or of themselves do wither in whose rooms others spring forth Like to a Lark in a cage such is the Soul in the body this world is like her little turf of grass and heaven o're our heads like her looking-glass which only gives us a miserable knowledge of the small compass of our prison How slow paced is Sorrow grief is a Tortois to the nimble senses and chills their motions Some cloud of rain since my own eyes refuse to drown me melt and overwhelm this miserable Island There is no Rhetorick can express my woe Small rivers murmur deep streams silent flow Soldiers that feed the victories of the conquerors as witches do their serviceable spirit with their prodigal blood what do they get but like the wealth of Captains a poor handful which in their palm they bear as men hold water seeking to gripe it fast the frail reward steals through their fingers Sleep lies in smoking cribs upon uneasie pallats stretching her where husht with silent night she courts her slumbers rather then in the perfumed chambers of the great under the canopies of costly state Sleep that sealest up the sea boyes eyes and rockest his brains in the cradle of the rude imperious surges and in the visitation of the winds who takest the russian billows by the tops curling their monstrous heads and hanging them with deafning clamors in the slippery clouds that with the hurly death it self awakes Canst thou Oh partial Sleep give thy repose to the wet sea boy in an hour so rude and in the calmest and the silentest night with all appliances and means to boot deny it to a King Uneasie lies the head that wears a Crown Oh fie upon this Single life we read how Daphne for her peevish flight was turned into a Bay-tree Syrinx into a pale empty Reed Anaxarete was frozen into Marble whereas those which married or proved kind unto their friends were by a gracious influence transformed into the Olive Pomegranate Mulberry-trees became Flowers precious Stones and eminent Stars Sin like a pregnant mother From the success of one beget another Fowl deeds will rise Though all the world o're-whelm them to mens eyes There is no gamester like a politique Sinner for who ever games the box is sure to win I want no worth if I have not too much self-self-love still to merit honour 't is honor that wants worth to me rit me Fortune thou arbitress of humane things Thy credit is at stake if I but rise The worlds opinion will conceive thou hast eyes The man that trusts a woman with a Secret and hopes for silence may as well expect it at the fall of a bridge a Secret with them is like a Viper it will make way though it eat through their bowels and when they have insinuated themselves into our counsels and gained power over our lives the fire is more merciful which burns till it goes forth Thunder speaks not till it hits be not Secure none sooner are opprest then those whom confidence betrayes Security is the suburbs of Hell We must with Temperance smooth our passions if we intend to attain our wished ends through things called good and bad like the Air that evenly interposed betwixt the Seas and the opposed Element of Fire at either toucheth but partakes of neither is neither hot nor cold but with a sleight and harmless temper mixt of both the extreams Philosophy Religions Solitude and Labor wait on Temperance in these Desire is bounded they instruct the minde and bodies actions The greatest fault that some can finde with Theft is that it cozens the Scriveners for it borrows money without giving any Obligation Your greatest Theives are never hanged for why they are wise and cheat within doors The Sun is a Theif that with his great attraction robs the vast sea the Moon is an arrant Theif for her pale fire she snatches from the Sun the Sea is a Theif whose liquid surge dissolves the Moon into salt tears the Earth is a Theif that feeds and breeds by a composture stoln from the general excrement Every thing is a Theif only the Laws are curbs and whips by their rough power all punishments are determined It is a dull thing to Travel like a mill horse still in the place we are born in round and blinded living at home is like it pure strong spirits that covet like the fire still to fly upwards and to give fire as well as take it cased up at home like lusty mettled horses only tied up in stables to please their masters beat out their fiery lives in their own litters There are many half Travellers that went out men and good men that when they have returned lookt like poacht eggs their souls suckt out empty and full of wind all their relations bak't like rie crust to hold carriage from this good town to the other when they are open'd they are ill cook't musty Truth is not made of glass that with a small touch it should fear to break Truth is like your Coat of Arms richest when plainest Whom heaven is pleased to stile Victorious to such applause runs madding like Bacchus drunken Priests who without reason in their Sacrifices voiced their Leader on a Demigod when as indeed each common souldiers blood drops down as currant coin in that hard purchase as his whose much more delicate condition hath sucked the milk of ease judgment commands but resolution executes He that fights well at the end of the Wars His head wears Sun Beams and his feet touch Stars Vertue is a sollid rock whereat being aimed the keenest darts of envy cannot hurt Her Marble Hero's stand built on such Bases That they recoil and wound their shooters faces The