written by me which I read when I cannot for some indisposition in body or mind otherwise think vpon thee and when I am ouerwhelmed in any misery it becometh most tolerable by hauing thus conference with thee who neuer disdainest me for which all Glory be giuen to thee who art my Lord and my God blessed for all eternity Amen Alleluia THE XI CONFESSION O My Lord to whom I will speak and before whom my hart shall not be silent while thus it stands with me least the heauy weight of sinnes and my disordered passions do oppresse my soul and seperate it from thee the only desire and beloued of my hart It behooueth me indeed to be silent and that all created things be likwise silent to me to the end â— may hear the sweet whispering of thy voiâ—â— and attend in most quiet repose of soul to thy Diuine Maiesty speaking to my hart But this must be when my soul is drawn and sweetly attracted by thee to attend to what it shall please thee to work in me But now in these my sinnes which passions and inordinat affections caus in me My soul doth cry out in the bottom thereof and call vpon thee who art my refuge helper and deliuerer in all these my afflictions and miseries and this my prayer is not reiected by thee becaus thou art a bottome less Sea of mercy O when shall my soul see all impediments remoued that it may be vnited to thee and retorn to thee from whom it had her being to this end that it might by pure Loue become capable of enioying thee for all eternity What are all things to me without thee Verily nothing but a shadow neither can any of them no nor all of them together satisfy or comfort me By Louing Pleasing and Praising thee as thou wouldst haue me shall I become truly content and happy and by no gifts or graces or fauours besids how great soeuer they be Return retâ—rn my soul to him that only can satiat thee and without whom all things as thou seest are most bitter and vnpleasing to thee Only by Humility and Obedience can this be accomplished in thee Humble despise and subiect thy self in all without exceptions that he may take pitty on thee Indeed my Lord I desire thus to become for thee For I may truly say I was brought to nothing and I knew it not and I am as a beast before thee and yet allso I may say that I am allways with thee and thou with me by thy preuenting mercy It is a poore way â—o think to become honourable by standing vpon our points and yet this is that which now is most in practise in these dayes O how far is this from the practise of thy Saints and seruants who thought it their greatest honour to be despised neglected reuiled and contemned by all this world to the end they might become honourable in thy eyes my Lord who hath said that blessed are we when we are spoken ill of by men and persecuted by them Giue me this true humility I beseech thee which maketh soules capable of receauing this thy blessing promised to the humbleâ— and those which serue thee for Loue whose ioy thou thy self art and who follow thee by the way of the Crosse which seemeth indeed contemptible in their eyes who do not discern nor discouer the hidden treasure that lyeth in the confusion receaued and embraced with the armes of Loue by a faithfull soul who seeketh nothing but to imitate her beloued who died the ignominious death of the Crosse to purchace her loue and to make her of an enemy to become an intimate and inward friend of this our heauenly Bride-groome This pouerty and contempt I say which thy little ones do vndergo in this life my Lord God seemeth to the louers of this world to be an intolerable burthen but those that truly walk this way of Humility do find that in it lyeth the greatest comfort and sweetnes that can be found and enioyed in this world For thou bearest thy-self the burthen of the humble and what toucheth them toucheâ—h the apple of thyne eye Nothing dost thou think to deare for them seeing all thy gifts graces fauours and comforts which thy goodnes imparteth to them they vse only to thy praise and to the abasing of themselues vnder the feet of all thy creatures as most vnworthy of this thy mercy of all of them O what power hath an humble soul with thee while she becometh totally subiect to thee euen as if no power of willing or choosing were giuen her by thee which while she doth well it goes with her before thee and great is the liberty of such an one while she only desireth and seeketh thee For in doing so we do become capable in an extraordinary maner of enioying thee who though thou art not to be seene in this life as thou art yet an humble soul is not ignorant of thee For her faith is wonderfully cleered and great is the knowledg of a soul which by loue obtaineth the heauenly wisedome of thee which thou hast hidden from the wise and prudent of the world and reuealed it to thy little ones who sigh and long without ceasing to become vnited to thy Diuine Maiesty that thy Praise may be perfected in them to thy eternall Glory O how frequently and confidently do these soules fly vnto thee and how often are they euen amazed to see thy infinit sweetnes and most amiable beawty Nothing is so present to them as is this their Lord God yea my God such a knowledg of thee doth Loue caus in an humble soul that it maketh her for a tyme neither to see feele yea nor to think of any thing besides thee but this in this vale of teares is not of long continuance and hath many interruptions by â—eason of the strife between our spirit and our three enemies the world the flesh and the diuel but yet thy grace is in all occasions neere to our soul and nothing shall blemish the purity thereof if we humbly adhere vnto thee and wholy mistrust our own forces as we well may and be confident in thee who art so mercifull and pittifull to those who presume not to haue any strength but thee This humble loue is able to go through all difficulties and to bear all burthens and to sustain all paines and disgraces becaus it seeketh only thee for her wittnes who art her glory her honour and her crown most neer and deare to her yea euen more present then she is to herself and more hers then she is her own and consequently being wholy forgetfull of herself she only seeketh and intendeth thy praise and glory my Lord God the peace of her hart and the comfort of her soul. It seemeth to a soul at first that by denying forsaking neglecting and despising herself she shall vndergo a most grieuous Martyrdom but by approaching to thee my God and conuersing with thee in a
THE SPIRITVAL EXERCISES OF THE MOST VERTVOVS and Religious D. GERTRVDE MORE of the holy Order of S. Bennet and English Congregation of our Ladies of Comfort in Cambray she called them Amor ordinem nescit And Ideots Deuotions Her only Spiritual Father and Directour the Ven. Fa. Baker stiled them Confessiones Amantis A Louers Confessions Amans Deum anima sub Deo despicit vniuersa A soul that loueth God despiseth al things that be inferiour vnto God Imit l. 2. c. 5. Printed at Paris by LEWIS DE LA FOSSE in the Carme street at the signe of the Looking Glasse M. DC L VIII VVith Approbation REnowned More whose bloody Fate England neer yet could expiate Such was thy constant Faith so much Thy Hope thy Charity was such As made thee twise a Martyr proue Of Faith in Death in Life of Loue View heer thy Grandchilds broken Harâ— Wounded with a Seraphick Dart. Who while she liu'd mortals among Thus to her Spouse Diuine she sung Mirrour of Beauty in whose Face The essence liues of euery Grace True lustre dwels in thy sole spheare Those glimmerings that sometimes appearâ— In this dark vayl this gloomy night Are shadows tipt with glow worm lightâ— Shew me thy radiant parts aboue VVbere Angels vnconsumed moue VVhere amourous fire maintaines their liâ—â— As man by breathing Air suruiâ—es But if perâ—hance the mortal eye That views thy dazling looks mnst dye VVith blind faith heer I le kis them desiâ— To feele the heat before I see the fire D. GERTRVDE MORE MAGNES AMORIS AMOR. R. Lochâ—m sculpâ—it TO THE R. MOTHER The R. Mother Bridgit More of Saint Peter and Saint Paul most vvorthy Prioresse of the English Benedictin Nunns of our Lady of Hope in Paris REVEREND MOTHER This deuout Book comes to you of right being your natural sisters excellent Goods and there is no other heire left to it but your desâ—ruing self besids I know few or none do any way â—retend to it but you and your Religious â—â—ock who exactly trace by true practice â—ô Practice diuine practice the only â—eans the same holy paths this booke â—reats of Take and acccept of it therfore R. MOTHER I guesse I need not much inuite you for I dare say it wil be most deare to you and most highly esteemed by you and yours If it chance to fal into the hands of any such as may reiect or cry it down as some few did the Ideots Deuotions of the same Spirit lately set forth it wil as that did but receiue the greater luster thereby and be more highly prised by how much it may be misprised by such sensual persons as relish not the Spirit of God or whose vain and flashing wits as it were spurn at the Diuine and true heauenly Vvisedom That it hath some hands set in thâ— margin and diuers characters in many places to point out certain matter and make them more remarakable is noâ— but that in a maner euery line and syllable is most remarkable and worthy tâ— be obserued And that some places oâ— Scripture are quoted in the margin anâ— not al is becaus those be the more cleaâ— plain and vnmingled texts though thâ— whole Book hath nothing in it almost buâ— Scripture And if there be somewhat in the latter end the very same with what is said in the preface it wil not much annoy since good aduise cannot be too often rtpeated I will say nothing of the admirable graces and guifts of the Authour let the Book speak them becaus I should seeme thereby to praise and extol you her natural Sister and imbued with the same natural and supernatural guifts then which nothing would be more vngrateful and distastful vnto you Howsoeuer R. MOTHER giue me leaue to inuite and incite you and your Holy Company to go on cheerefully and couradgiously in these sacred and secret Paths of Diuine Loue. VVith your Beauty and Fairnes intend proceed prosperiously and reign Let the wisemen or rather wits of the world laugh at you They senseless think your life Madnes and your vvaies dishonourable Be not I say dismayed For your Truth Mildnes Iustice and your Right hand which is is your Spiritual Praier vvil marueillously conduct you So desirous to be partaker of yeur holy Prayers and committing you to the Diuine Protection I rest euer R. MOTHER Your most humble seruant and faithful friend in our Lord. F. G. THIS DEVOVT SOVLS ADVERTISEMENT to the Reader VVith an Apology for herself and her spiritual Guide and Director the V. F. Augustin Baker VVherein is excellently described a true interne contemplatiue Spiritual life and the maner how to liue happily in it with right and true Obedience to God an man IT may seeme very strange and that very iustly that I should write what heere I haue written But when I haue heer declared my reason for it I may perhaps pas with thâ— censure only of being a little presumptuous Yet God who is my witnes in al and my â—esire aboue al knoweth vpon what grounds I haue done it And that it is but for mine own priuate comfort and helpe and to be seene by no other but against my wil my superiors only excepted from whom as they shal require I wil not conceale the very secrets of my hart much lesse this which I haue written to lye by me wherein there may be what they may mislike and correct to which I shal most willingly submit my-self Yea and though it seeme to me to be a great help to me to haue that which I haue writ in more light to read when I am either in obscurity of temptation or other bodily indisposition to which I may be often incident Yet I wil suppresse it at their command and good pleasure and put the want thereof willingly to the hazard out of confidence in the assistance of God who is a louer and rewarder of Obedience VVhich vertue howsoeuer it may be otherwise thought I honour from my hart and beleeue verily that notâ—â—ng that I do which doth not pertake of that is of any regard at al with God This I haue thus affirmed becaus he who hath been my Maister and Father in a spiritual life and hath brought me into a course which much satisfieth my soul and conscience between me and God It tending to nothing but to loue God by seeking him aboue al Graces and Guifts And by withdrawing all inordinate affection from al created things to become fâ—ee to loue and praise God in as pure and perfect a manet as this life wil admit And also to true submission and subiection of myself for God to whomsoeuer he puts ouer me in this life with as great a contempt of my-self as my frailty can reach vnto Is notwithstanding taxed now by the same words in a manner which were alleaged against our blessed Sauiour VVe haue found this man subuerting the people and forbidding to giue tribute to Caesar. VVhich though none can iustly
intend Yet what is ill reforme in thee And this will all amend As farre as he doth thinke it good Who is most iust and wise He will thee by afflictions purge From what displease his eyes Willt thou of all that loue thy God From suffring be exempt O no but blisse as others do thy God and liue content Amidst the various accidents That do to thee befall Committ thy selfe and all to God Who seekes our good in all Thy selfe art blind and cannot iudge What is the best for thee But he doth pearce into all things How hâ—dd so ere thâ—y be My hart shall only this desire That thou my Lord dispose Euen as thou pleasest in all things Till these myne eys thou close By death which I so much desire Because it will procure Me to enioy my God my all Where I shall be secure That none from me can take my Lord But for eternity I shall enioy my only good And to him euer be Vnited by a knott of Loue Which nothing shall vnity But will remayne as permanent As his Diuinity O happy houre when willt thou come And set my Spirit free That I may loue and prayse my God For perpetuity Contemplating his glorious face With all that him adore Singing with them his sweetest prayse For eâ—er and euer more In this is such and so great comfort and peace that well may the soule be tearmed to receaue a hundred folde in this life who despiseth it-selfe and all other things that it may finde thee O how free is such a soule to fly with the wings of Loue to the throne of thy Diuine Maiesty Neuer was there or can be imagined such a Loue as is betweene an humble soule and thee Who can expresse what passeth between such a soule and thee Verily neither man nor Angell is able to do it sufficiently and the more such a soule knowes of thee the more sound becometh her humility the which thy selfe only can teach one perfectly and it is impossible to gett it in verity and perfection but by conuersing with thee O my God bestow this heauenly gift on me which only findeth fauour before thee Those that possesse it are able in and by thee to beare all things to vnderstand all things as farre as it is necessary for them For one learneth more in Prayer of thee in one hower then all creatures in the world could teach one in fifty yeares for that which thou teachest is sound solid and secure because it tends to nothing but to loue thee neglect it selfe Thy words bring force strength in themselues thy words are words of peace to the soule thy words are not like the words of men which passe as a sound through the ayr buâ— thyne pearse the very bottome of our soules Lett me hearken therefore to thee who speaketh loue and most certaine truth The wisedome of the world is foolishnes before thee But thy wisedome is much to be desired and for it willingly ought we to giue all our substance to it we ought to be espowsed and by it if we will be happy all our actions ought to be gouerned Allthough thou didst say that vnlesse we become as litle children we could not enter into the kingdome of heauen yet withall thou hast said that we ought to be wise as serpents and simple as doues where thou puttest that we should be wise before we be simple and not simplicity before wisedome whereof I aske thee the reason O my Lord with all the humility I am possibly able For it seems to meâ— that thereinâ— as in all thy words there is a hidden Mystery tell me I say my God of whom in all cases and doubts I aske solution and many times by it thou dost make many things manifest to my simplicity tell me â— say what was the reason Verily it seemeth to me that thou biddest vs be wise before we become simple becaus that is only true Simplicity which followeth true Wisedome For we cannot become truly simplified in our soule but by thy heauenly gift of true wisedome For there is a simplicity which is without wisedome and discretion which litle auayleth to perfection This vertue of Simplicity becometh more and more perfect in the soule as she increaseth in humility and charity yet at the very first of our conuersion this is in some sort practised by vs if we do as we ought to do As for example to become pleasing to thee it is absolutly necessary that a soule walke simply and sincerly before thy selfe and all men and read and heare obey and perâ—forme all in a simple and humble maner not searching into that which belongeth not vnto her this I say thou dost exact for nothing is more odious to thee then the contrary practise But yet this doth not diminish our naturall reason but maketh it more cleere and able to comprehend what is necessary for vs. This vertue also therefor bestow vpon me who euen in my nature as thou well knowest did euer aboue all things hate dissembling and dissimulation O Lord poore as I am and most sinnefull thus thou â—eest how I presume to speake vnto â—hâ—e but easily shall I obtayn pardon of thee becaus thou ouerflowest with â—he aboundance of thy mercy for whâ—ch Glory Prayse Adoration be to thee who art my Lord and my God and only desired by me I haue no friend to speake or treat with but thee and some of thy Saints to whom thou hast giuen charge of me and to whom I fly when my sinnes affright me amongst whom next after thy Deare Mother the Queene of mercy is my beloued S. Augustine O Glorious Saint whose hart did burne And flame with Loue Diuine Remember me most sinnefull wretch Who hunger staru'd doth pine For want of that which thou enioyest In such aboundant measure It is my God that I doe meane My ioy and all my treasure Thy words O Saint are truly sweet Becaus thou dost addresse Them vnto him who 's only meet Our mis'ries to redresse At whose intorcession much hast thou done for me Honour them my Lord for me who am so poore thatâ— haue nothing to present them or thee only a desire of being gratefull to thee who be by all eternally prayâ—sed Amen It was S. Augustine the Doctor and amorous seruant of God that she heere meant THE SECOND CONFESSION Omnis ex vobis qui non renunti at omnibus quae possident non potest meus esse discipulus Qui habet aures audiendi audiat All you who renounce not all you possesse cannot be my disciple who hath eares of hearing let him heare THESE are thy words my Lord which though they seeme hard at first yet being explicated to our soules by thee they become most easy and sweet to performe Teach me therefor my God I beseech thee for thy mercies sake teach me I say how I â—hall perform this to the glory of thyâ—oly â—oly name Thou hast inflamed my â—art as thou
sake as also thine owne who art Blessed for euer Amen THE XXVIII CONFESSION INCINA cor meum Deus in testimonia tua Ecce concupui mandata tua in aequitate tua viuifica me-Incline my God my hart to thy testimonies and in thy truth quicken my soul. For behold my soul doth exceedingly couet to performe thy law For thy law is truth and the effect thereof is Iustice and Peace and Ioy in the holy Ghost When I remember how I haue strayed from thee by sin I become ashamed before thâ—e But when I consider thy Mercy I hope stil notwithstanding what is past to become through thy grace which so sweetly preuented me pleasing to thy Diuine Maiesty O Lord inlighten my soul obscuredâ— by sin and ill customes inlighten it that I may walk the way of Iustice and Truth which is the way wherof thou speakest by Esaie the Prophet in which a foole cannot err as he affirmethâ— O let me by true Humility become a fool according to his meaning let me become as a bittle child that I may be capable of entring into the Kingdom of Heauen Certeinly we ought to liue so subiect to thee that we haue no election of any thing as pretending our selues for time or eternity And also we ought to haue in our soul such a relation to thee that in thy ligâ—t in thy truth and wholy according to thy will we perform all we do and out of that respect omit what we omit O my God let me I say walk this way of Loue which knoweth not how to seck it-self in any tâ—ing whatsoeuer Let this Loue wholy posses my soul and hart which I beseech thee may liue and moue only in and out of a pure and sincere loue to thee who aboue all ought to be loued and desired Let this fire which thou camst into this world to send and willedst it should burn consume me wholy into it self that forgetful of my self and al created things I may be mindfull of thee my Lord and my God It is thy pâ—omise that where sin â—ath abounded graâ—e shall superbound that the riches of thy Merâ—y may appear and shew it-self to the Glory of thy holy Name which Mercy I beseech thee extend itself â—o me that I may praise thee for euer and euer O that thy pure loue were â—o grounded and established in my hart that I might sigh and pant â—ithout ceasing after thee and be â—ble in the strength of this thy Loue â—o live without alâ— comfort and conâ—olation human or diuine therby â—o become the more conformable to â—hee the beloued of my soul O how â—appy are they that truly loue tâ—ee â—ertainly whatsoeuer they suffer it â—â— very tolerable to them beâ—aus he or whose loue they suffer is thâ—ir helâ—er Indeed my Lord thou art a hiden God but yet not so hidden from â—ur soul but that in some sort we â—aue therin according to our poor â—apacities not only a tast but also sight of thee for as euen thou thy self hast said Blessed are the cleane of hart for they shall see God O sight to be wished desired and longed forâ— becaus once to haue seen thee is to haue learnt al things Nothing can bring vs to this sight but loue But what loue must it be Not a sensible loue only a childish loue a loue which seeketh it-self more then the beloued No but it must bâ— an ardent loue a pure loue a couradgious loue a loue of Charity anâ— humble loue and a constant loue not worn out with labours noâ— daunted with any difficulties O Lord giue this loue vnto my soul that â— may neuer more liue nor breath buâ— out of a most pure loue of thee my All and only Good let me loue thee foâ— thy self and nothing els but in anâ— for thee Let me loue nothing in steeâ— of thee For to giue al for loue is â—â— most sweet bargain for Loue is as stronâ— as death O that this thy loue might floâ— in such aboundance into the harâ— of al capable therof that the sonâ— of thy loue and Praise might contiâ—nually be heard through out al the earth O what do we do louing vanity and seeking a lye What do â—â—e abusing the most noble capacity of our souls by desiring that which passeth away like smoak What do â—â—e louing that which is more changeable then the Moon Can any â—hing satiate our harts but our God Can we find true repose out of him â—s any thing worthy of our loue but â—hat Goodnes which is loue it-self and â—hom the more we loue the more we â—re able to loue becaus for loue he made vs capable of loue But alas my God my soul was in honour â—nd I knew not it I was compared â—o beasts and by sin became like to â—hem or worse then they Is this my equital for al thy loue Is this exâ—usable that my soul made by theeâ—o â—o be delighted with the food of â—ngels which is loue should delight â—â—-self with the bread of swine O is â—y hart able to rehears this before â—â—ee and not through excessiue grief â—reak in sunder Could I in my nature not abide to be diâ—loyall to one whom I found to be a faithful friend to me and can I endure to remember my disloyalty to my God Could I with ioy vndergo for my friend disgrace and difficulty and can I endure nothing for my God Was the absence of a deare friend intolerable to me and can I abide to see my self cease at any time to sigh and long after my God O no my God let that be far from me I heere renounce before heauen and earth al inordinate affections to creâ—tures Place with thy own hands tâ—â— loue in their roomâ— that it expelling thence al â—hat now is therein dâ—â—pleasing to tâ—ine eyes thou maâ—â— thy selâ— wholy posses me giuing and distributing my affections and disposing the passions of my haâ—â— according to thy sweet will which only is iust only holy and true iâ— it-self C how sinceare then are oâ— affections when we loue our neigâ—â—bour only in and for thee Theâ—â— we pitty not one and are hard harted to another according to the inclination of our peruerse nature but behold thee in al and consequently willingly serue and assist al for thy loue then we do not shew our seues meek only to our friends but also to those by whom we suffer most contradiction and gladly vpon all occasions extend our charity For there is no true friendship but that which is founded vpon thee and which is maintained without impediment to thy loue This is only the loue of Charity which Charity knoweth not how to repine to be angry to be exceptious to be inconstant to be troublesom to be suspicious or iealous for it regardeth thee in al and desireth thee aboue al It taketh al in good part it wondreth not to see men exceed in words finding it-self so often to offend in
dust and ashes which is blown awâ—y with euery wind and hath no stability in it but so far as it is holpen by thy meere Mercy What flesh dareâ—h glory in itself or presume it is able to do any good Verily my God if I had most couragiously vndergon al the temptations miseries and afflictions that haue been or euer shal be by al thy seruants together I ought not to think my-self able to suffer the least that can be imagined as of my-self but iustly ought to feare mine own frailty Let them that glory therefor glory in thee and not in themselues O that some little spark of that true light which true Humility causeth would enter into my soul and neuer depart out of it til I were wholy trasformed into that loue which giueth thee al and it-self nothing sauing its own defectuousnes Thou only art Iust thou only Holy and I the most vile and contemptible of al thy creatutes in thine eyes who discerneth most cleerly how it stands with me for my pride and other my abominable sinnes Wash me in thy Bloud and I shal yet become whiter then snow What would it auaile me if I were neuer so great in the eyes of men yea euen as great as I most vnworthy am in mine own Could they saue me or iustify me in thy sight Is it not affirmed by the Spirit of al Truth Vanitas omnis homo viuens Al liuing man is vanity without any exception of persons Verily my God we are indeed but as we are in thy sight who iudgest according to the Humility of our hart which is hidden from the sense of man Man may iudg that to be Humility which indeed is pride and there is no pride so great as that which clotheth it-self vnder he colour of Humility but thou canst not be deceaued by any O happy soul that only desireth thee to be a witnes of her desirs endeauours and intentions Happy they that are approued by thee my God though heâ—r they be despised neglected and contemned by the whole world With what face can my soul tel my God I desire to loue him if I do it not more willingly then I do vndergo the hard censures of men Shal I desire that which I do or say may be wel thought of by others since my God him-self was thought to do al he did in the power of Beelzebub Shal she who hath done nothing that is good be in esteeme when as her beloued who is goodnes and Iustice it-self was despised and contemned O my God far be this disloyalty from my hart Let me suffer for my sinnes that I may become pleasing in thy sight which is al my soul desireth O my God when shal I find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul When shal the eyes of my body be so closed from beholding al vanity that the eyes of my soul may be cleered by thee to the discerning of truth Truly thou art a hidden God and none can walk in thy light but the peaceful Humble patient and clean of hart O if we did but once see in thy light of truth how little we are able to do or suffer of our selues we would tremble to think we were able to do any thing that were good or to attribute any thing to our own endeauours Nisi Dominus aedificauerit domum in vanum laborauerunt qui aedificant eam Nisi Dominus custodierit ciuitaetem fruâ—tra vigilat qui custodit eam Vnles God build the house in vaine do they laâ—our who build it Vnles God guard the City in vaine do they watch who guard it It is in vaine for you to rise before light O light shine in my soul and let not the darknes of mine own ignorance ouerwhelme me any longer Let my soul loue that it may liue in and to thee alone my Lord God VVhen wilt thou giue me the graâ—e of true Humility which is so much spoken of and so hard to be known what it is indeed O we can neuer while we lâ—ue in this world be secure from falling into the cursed sin of pride which maketh souls more odious to thee then any oâ—her sin whatsoeuer O my God helpe me out of this snare which laieth open the way to al other sinnes O who dare though hee had been rapt into the third Heauens with S. Paul attribute any gift or grace to his owne desert What haue we that we haue not receaued and if we haue â—eceaued it wherof should we glory O how soone do we loose the the labour of many years in one moment by pride God protecteth vs and directeth vs if we remain humble but in our pride he leaueth vs to our selues til we see and feele to our cost our own weaknes and misery O how plaine doth it appeare to those who are now secure for al eternity in thy Heauenly Kingdom that if thou hadst with drawn thy grace from them while they liued heer their case would haue been most miserable O how far are they from attributing any thing to their own metits saue so far as they were meerly enabled therto by thy grace And how far short do they esteeme their deserts to be of the Glory and Honour they receaue from thy Merciful and bountiful hand What pains what labours what suffering of disgraces can deserue to enioy thee and see theeâ—ace â—ace to face â—or euer and euer Certainly those who enioy this happines haue receaued it by the merits of thy most bitter death and Passion which God graunt may bring me wretch also to Saluation Amen O Loue loue loue when shall nothing els liue in me but thy true loue my God how long shal I remaine deuided from thee When shal I by pure and perfect loue be vnited to my God al impediments being remoued When shal no created thing be able to diuert my soul from attending to my Lord God When shal I be able to suffer without offending my God or being weary thereof O how little true peace doth that soul enioy who careth for the praises of men or feareth their dispraises Nothing more slippery nothing more vnconstant nothing more vncertain then the fauour or friendship of man who to day wil be thy friend and extol thee to the skies to morrow none wil haue thee lesse in esteeme then he and what a misery then is it to place happines or security in the fauour of man And this ô my soul thy God permits thee to see to the end thou shouldst adhere to him alone and not to that which is subiect to fail Desire the friendship of God alone and then his friends both in Heauen and earth shal be ready to serue thee for thy aduancement in his loue and seruice What can any man diminish of thy good by his speaking or thinking il of thee Or what can he add to thee indeed by highly esteeming of thee Remember that al Praise is due vnto God but to thee confusion of face
Obedience by a certain persons means is much feared in vs by our Fathers And that is that we sleight neglect and contemne al books and instructions but Fa. Bakers VVhich is as God knows quite otherwise For though as may be gathered by what I haue heere collected and noted I do arme my-self by al the means I can imagin against those Obiections which are made by those of contrary ways that I may hold on my way which seemes to be so proper and fit for my desired estate which I haue taken vpon me by my profession I haue no reason to alter for ways I am not able to vnderstand my conscience being â—atisfied with this I am in and my Supeâ—iors neuer yet condemning the same Yet â—s I say I am far from sleighting other instructions but hold they are very good for â—hem for whom they may be proper which they do not seeme for me Because the more I read or hear of them the more confusedâ— without coherence they seeme to be Foâ— I find nothing but saying and vnsaying as iâ— seemes to me as in one place vrging mosâ— vehemently the necessity of mental prayerâ— and in twenty other places making it a mosâ— impossible thing to giue ones self to prayeâ— without more endangering our saluation then before And where they treat of Obedience they treat of as it seemes to me in such maâ—ner that it is almost impossible to find ouâ— how or which way one may performe 〈◊〉 in any certain or quiet maner But thâ— more they speak of it the more impossiblâ— thing they seeme to make it And verilyâ— could neuer put it together to make otheâ— sense of it do what I â—an then to draw iâ— to this as they expres it that it is a moâ—â— seruil thing and much like that where witâ— sâ—ruants are subiect for fifty shillings a yeâ— in the world and no further effect coulâ— come to me by the practise of it as thâ—â— seem to meane as to any true knowledâ—â— of God or my-self then would haue comâ— by my being a seruant in the world onâ—â— forsooth by reason it is performed by vs iâ— vertue of our vow of Obedience whicâ— makes them acts of greater perfection anâ— consequently of much more merit But thâ—â— is a subtile point fitter to be disputed then nâ—eessary to be beleeued For I know and that by experience that it is possible to comply with our external Obediences and performe them so that the Superior shal haue one in good esteem and be able to discouer no great defect in our performaÌ„ce of them And yet thâ— soul as far from knowing what true obedience is as she was when she came into Religion performing them al that while but in a natural maner of which proceeding nothing can be expected but a natural effect Pride and disobâ—dience encreasing daily in the soul which is an entrance if God preuent it not to vnspeakable inconuenience But yet though I could draw no sure and solid ground for a soul by Obedience according to such instructions yet the defect may be in me as to those ways and not in the instructions For some haue affirmed they find much good by them of which I am exceeding glad For so souls may liue Quietly Obediently and Humbly in the howse it is al one to me by what meanâ—s or by whom God Almighty doth it And there are some in the howse that I should aduâ—se rather to read such instructions then Fa. Bâ—kers if I were worthy to giue aduise And this I would do if they weâ—e both priuate men but much more now these instructions are deliuered by the Confessor whose place deserueth an extraordinary respect which to my powre shal euer be giuen him or any other in his place whosoeuer he be But yet I must needs say that of al in this howse I could neuer see but one who could discourse and distinguish his points in and of Obedience and draw out of them a setled quiet and satisfactory course but that when he is gone they be as far to seeke as they were before in the vnderstanding of it For another wil expres it in another maner and so vnder al while they liue they must as it were begin again This therefor was that which made me so affect F. Bakers instructions at first when he deliuered them because I saw they were grounded vpon God not vpon him who could neuer fail whatsoeuer became of him And by this regarding God in al and doing al out of Obedience to him our soul becometh so humble that it liueth in a maner as subiect to al she liueth with as any one can be to any Superior in the world She troubleth not her head disputing how which way and in what maner she shal obey in this or that but she simply obeys in al as far as her frailâ—y wil permit and as willingly would she be the most abiect and most neglected in the howse as euer she was willing to do any thing in al her life For hauing recours to God maketh her insensible to those things so fat as may stand with flesh and blood And God doth send and giue a soul that seeketh nothing but sincearly to loue and please him such occasions to humble herself which to none can be seene becaus the knowledge and cause is wholy within herself that it is of more force to humble her then her being neglected of al the world would be though that be also a great help and a great fauour of God For her soul can neuer be pure and free for the ascending to the praise of God til it be very humble which the more a sonl endeauoureth to be the more Peace doth she enioy and the freer accesse doth she find to God and the lesse impediments between him and her soul. For this true Humility and Obedieuce to God which Fa. Baker doth so vrge a soul to in al his Words and Books is an immediate disposition to that which S. Paul wished to vs. VVhich is that our conuersation may be in Heauen And neuer was there such perceptible friendship loue and correspondence beâ—ween any in this world how great soeuer their loue might seeme as there is between those souls and our Lorâ— and his Angels and Saints in Heauen VVhich though it be not so perceiuable to sense as the other which is founded vpon that alone yet by Faith and loue the soul doth more plainly and certainly enioy it then we can be certain of any thing which with our coâ—poral eyes may be seen and such a confidence doth accompany his loue that she desireth not to be more certain of any thing She can wish then that she dependeth wholy of her God alone whose wil is aboue al mast deare to her and to whom she often cryeth out in her soul with the glorious S. Augustin saying That al that aboundance that is not her vâ—ry God him-sâ—lf is to her but extreame penury And therefor she
instructions aright 3. Thirdly a great couradg to withstand al temptations come they from within or without that might draw her into multiplicity from simplicity especiâ—lly seare wâ—â—h soon draweth one into the most pestilent multipliciâ—y that is maketh one more blind euery day then other and consequently into more dâ—ffidence whereby they are made almost wholy incapable of conuersing with God vnles God shew them their errors and they begin again which is a hard matter to do if a soul haue once lost her light which God I beseech him deliuer al capable souls from doing For it is the greatest ingratitude that can be offered to God and none but God can tel the miseries perplexities and difficulties that attend on such a soul al the days of her life as Saint Angela doth testify with terrible words 4. Fourtly there is necessary in the soul a good and right iudgment for the vnderstanding of things a right For els the soul wil erroneously vnderstaÌ„d al things though neuer so plain The more she knows the farther she is to seek and the more errors she falleth into And better it were if such souls could be known which is almost impossible til they haue had some knowledg of a spiritual life for many times they seeme to haue a greater aptnes then the most capable souls and a greater inclination towards God then others and yet run into errour and are in danger do what they can that hâ—ue the care of them to breaks their brayns or ouerthrow their bodys that they neuer had spiritual instructions further then for the Actiue life 5. Fiftly a great capacity of tending towards God by the exercise of the wil which being prosecuted together with true mortification of themselues wil bringâ— saith Blosius to a mystick Vnion and â—perfection in time conuenient Of those that haue al these conditions there are yet great difference for some haue more aptnes and find les impediments then others and some haue more light and others les as it pleaseth God Yet those that are most bumble and faithful to him though they seeme les cleare are the most pleasing to God who be blessed by al. Amen The Obseruing of the diuine cal which indeed should be and is the very life of a spiritual life Is by most spiritual Maisters now a days turned into a scorn or scoff And therefor no meruail that true spirituality should in these dayes be so rare and almost vnknown Nay if a soul giue but her-self to prayer she shal haue an hundred enemies one obiecting against one point another against another of her proceedings Euery one according to their spirit and humour desiring to reforme her in they know not what themselues which if she be moued with no other effect is like to come of it then happened to the Painter who altered his work so long and often that at last it had neither forme nor fashion And al other that had procured this alteration in the picture which at first was a very good one called the workman fool for his labour The Application whereof is very plain and proper to our purpose 1. First There is difference between Vnity and Vnion for as Vnity is but one thing so vnion is a coupling together at last of two things 2. Secondly simplâ—city is a singlenes or being alone and simple is single that is a thing alone And therefor simple or singleâ— and one or simplicity and vnity is but the self same thing 3. Thirdly multiplicity is a many foldnes of things and two or more diuer things do make a multiplicity but one thingâ— les then two wil not make a multiplicity God and a creature both though of together as distinct things are a multiplicity not becaus the apprehension of Goâ— being apprehended but accoâ—ding to Faitâ— but becaus of the thinking of the creature not as in God for then it would caus no multiplicity is a thing distinct from God and a creature alone thought of without any apprehension withal of God if it be not to be tearmed multiplicity which it is in the takings of mystick Authours yet is it not most certainly the simplicity in soul that is required for vnion with God 4. Fourtly God is but one rhing or an Vnity simplicity or a singlenes For though al things and al diuersity of things be indeed in God yet they are al of them but one thing in him Yea whatsoeuer thing or things be in him they are God himself God was and is that one thing which our Sauiour defending S. Mary Magdelen said to be only necessary The imperfect Contemplatiue spirits who commonly in their external businesses are in their interior ful of multiplicity do yet for al that when their businesses are lâ—id aside and they betake themselues to their recollection at the season proper for itâ— in regard they haue as it were a natural and habitual propension towards God and his immediate presence with a loathing or at least neglect or disesteeme of al creatures as to any affection to them easily surmont al multiplicity of images that could be occasioned by their precedent imployments wherin their souls had neuer fixed their loue as who were not nor could be satified or much delighted with them Al the spiritual men in the world are not able by their instructions to make another that yet of herself it most apt â—or it to become truly spiritual without the schollar herself do withal carefully obserue and pursue the foresaid Lghts and Cals as her primum mobile or first mouerâ— And to sayâ— Takâ— al your instructions from without is al one in effect as to say Tend not to Contemplation For God and none but He is the true and immediate Teacher and Directour in the most obscure and supernatural way of Contemplation Yet here â— would be vnderstood that vnder these tearmes of diuine interior Lights Motions and Cals which I take to be the roâ—t and cause of al her true Obediences and other good needs I intend and comprrhend al Cals through other obligations as when thâ—y are otherwise commandeâ— by the vniuersal diuine Law natural oâ— positiue by the Church or o her humaâ— Law or by the wils of Superiors And â— true spiritual Man should do nothing buâ— out of the said root or cause which is thâ— diuine Cal. A supernatural Discretion is miparted bâ— God to a welminded soul that disposetâ— her-self for it which dispositâ—on consisteth â—hiefly in the vse of abstraction and praier This is the light by which God guideth â—ouls which he leadeth to Contemplation â—nd thereby teacheth them what is necessary for them to know or do externally or internally so far as conduceth to the â—aid end Simple and vnlearned souls by â—he said light come to find out those internal ways most obscure of themselues which no man though neuer so learned â—nd acutely witted can discerne or find â—ut of himself The most spiritual man in the world cannot instil
do if they haue not in al things relation to thee the only true wisedom and in whose light is true light only to be seen By louing thee and dying to them-selues in al things they would become maisters of themselues and al the world Then nothing would moue them nothing would affright them becaus thou wouldst be their coÌ„fort and stay in al things Certainly there is a wonderful difference between the Obedience which a soul that liueth an internal life giueth to a Superior and that which we giue out of custom The fomer is slow at first and seemeth very defectiue therin the other so violent many times at first that it coÌ„tinueth not longt he former groweth more strong and firme euery day then other and the later groweth oftentimes a greather burthen euery day then other Certainly a soul that pretendeth to liue an internal spiritual life and yet hath not a great esteeme of Obedience is much to be feared and in great peril of errors yet that which in these days is tearmed Obedience I do not mean for I knew one who hauing a Confessor that had much difficulty with her though he aâ—â—irmed that it was a great breach of Obedience to haue relation while he bore that place to any other yet she made vse in cases of difficulâ—y with leaue of an higher Superior of another whom she thought more able to iudge in that which concerned her and yet she hopeth this was no breach of Obedience for if she had thought that God in this case had exacted of her not â—o haue gon to another she would what difficulty soeuer she had endured haue made vse of no other But this she thought was not his pleaâ—ure becaus she was in a probability to fal into great inconueniences if she treated with him in an inward maner VVho professed by his deeds and words to take aduantage of any thing she could that might serue his turn as far as he could in conscience beside the dâ—fficulty he had with her in his nature made him incapable of iudging aright in that which belonged to her for that difficulâ—y of his made him misapprehend al she did or said If she held her peace she neglected him if she spoke she did it to sound him â—o serue her own turn if she was compassionate towards him in his infirmities she flattered him if she offered him not that which he stood need of she was auerted from him And thus it passed between them which made her haue as little to do with him as Obedience to higher powrs would permit her for by their ordeâ— she was to confesse weekly to him which was no smal difficulty â—o her but she knowing it to be Gods wil did it out of Obedience to him to whom if we do as we ought we must be subiect in al things without exceptions And this is the benefit of an internal life that makes one capable of seeing and knowing of Gods wil and also most ready to performe it which way soeuer he signifies it to them and makes them obey as readily and willingly a simple impertinent Superâ—or as they would an Angel or the wisest creaâ—ure in the World Yea if a worm or any creature weâ—e ordaâ—ned by God to rule ouer them they would see and embrace with al their harts his wil by them for without this total subiection to God it is impossible to become truly spiritual for if we resist his wil in our Superiors in vain do we pretend to please him We must learn therefor this vertue of him that true Humility and Obedience may be out stay in al vvhich tvvo vertues together vvith the diuine vertue of Discâ—eâ—ion he vvil teach vs if vve labour to become more and more humble for seeing that it is his wil vve should obey and become truly humble Hovv can vve doubâ— but he vvil giue vs the Gracé if vve â—umbly and peâ—seuerantly beg it of him and practise them vpon occasion as vvel as vve can for he him-self saith VVhen we aske our father bread he doth not giue vs a stone nor if we asko him a fiâ—h he doth not giue vs a serpent much les wil he deny vs vvhat is necessary to make vs pleasing to him if we seekâ— or desire nothing but by true loue to be faithful to him O Prayer Prayer able to obtain al things O hovv cometh it to passe my Lord that this Omnipotent prayer as some of thy deare seruants stile it should be so vnknovvn yea euen by them vvhom thâ—â— tearmest the salt of the earth contemned at least as to the practise of poore simple vvomen for vvom they hold it aboue al things most dangerous euen to mine ovvn knovvledg as I hauâ— knovvn affirmed by Superiors of seueral Orders O misery to be lamented most hartily by those that haue a tast in Praier and by the effect therof knovv how sweet a thing it is to attend only and wholy to the prayse and loue of God Surely the vvant of the wisedom vvhich by praier the Saints did gain is the teason vvhy custome in al things doth take place for the most part in the world of true reason The vvorld surely vvas neuer râ—formed of sins and errors but by the wisedom vvhich cometh from God and is far different from that vvhich is accounted vvisedom by the vvorld vvhich is as S. Paul saith foolishnes with God for the vvisedom of God proceedeth out of humility and perfect Charity This vvisedom did Saint Fâ—ancis enioy vvhen yet by the vvorld he vvas desirous to be accounted a foole vvhich opinion thongh many had of him yer the effâ—ct of his vvisedom vvas euidently seen by the great reformation he made in the vvorld It vvil neuer go vvel and peaceably in the vvorld as long as they are only imployed and haue the spiritual gouâ—rnment of souls vvho take policy for their cheif ground next to Faith vvhich in the order and maner of their vvritings in these days me thinks they seeme in al to pretend for they prize that most which may serue their turn and suppres al orders but their ovvn though not in plain tearmes as far inferior to them in al things And that indeed it is not so to me seems euident for I know none but may be compared to them in aâ— things but policy This is my simple opinion If the soul hath not so much vvit or discretion vvhen she knoweth for certainty or els doubteth of the certainty of a thing that cocerns her or knovving the certainty vvil go and aske it as a doubt or taking it as a doubt seâ—ing need to aske vvil not puâ— her-self to aske I may vvarrant her from euer coming to contemplation VVhosoeuer are lead by the spirit of God they are the children of God As S. Paul said If vve vvere the perfect children of God his spirit vvould liue and reigne in vs. But for as much as yet vve are not vve are seriously to labouâ— to be and that
are thy Lawes The more perfectly we performe them the more delightfull is thy yoke They were made by thee out of thy loue to vs and if we loue they will be most easy and pleasant to vs. For indeed where thou biddest vs leaue and forskae all that we may find rest in our soules thou speakest to vs as being sensuall For when we leaue our freinds riches honours pleasures yea and euen which is most of all our very selues whaâ— haue we left or forsaken Some thinâ— indeed as it seemes to vs these thing are when through blindnes and ignoâ—rance we esteeme them as benefit and comforts but doing it vpon 〈◊〉 word we find we haue left nothing â—â— find thee who art all things We haue left our friends who are incident to leaue vs when we stand in most need of them We haue left honour which being had proueth nothing ells butâ— meere burthen to vs. And so in fine nothing is there to be left which if 〈◊〉 did but loue our owne peace and quiâ—â— without all further respect we would choose as the very best what thou doâ—â— exact For vertue is amiable in it selfâ— and those that had but a very shew of it as to what it is indeed euen among the HeatheÌ„s were honoured for Godâ— Who therefor would not follow the my God in whom alone is to be founâ— true good Thou teachest the milde and humble thy wayes and thou restâ— willingly in a peacefull hart What caâ— bring true peace to our soule but tâ—â— â—oue Giue this Loue therefor to me â—ho wisheth and deâ—ireth only that â—n all I may be true to thee THE FOVRTH CONFESSION O My Lord and my God to whom I dust and ashes am not worthy to speak Yet heare me my Lord recounting heere before thee thy owne â—ords spoaken by thy seruant in thy name who art truth it selfe Venife filij â—â—â—ite me timorem Domini docebo vos Proâ—ibe lingâ—am tuam è malo labia tua ne â—juantur dolum Diuerte à malo fac â—nam inquire pacem persequere eam Conte ô Sonns Hearâ— mee I will â—each you the â—eare of our Lord. Forbid thy tongue from euil â— thy lips that they speake not guile turne â—rom euil and do good seeke peace proâ—ecute itt Heere thou biddest me as thy child come to thee and thou willt teach â—e thy feare as that thou art my Lord. â—eere thou biddest me refrain my tonâ—ue from guile and my lippes that they speaâ—k not guile and also hate euill and do good inquire afteâ— peace and follow it these last words inâ—deed comprehending all But of whoâ— shall I inquire peace my Lord my Goâ— of whom I say shall I inquire to leaâ— it Truely of thy selfe who in teachinâ— me the way of peaoe canst giue me graâ—ce to follow it Of thee therefor I desiâ—re to learn whose words are workâ— Speak to my hart speak so that I may heare and follow it Giue me the Humility which knoweth no guile Giue me the Loue that accompanieth it Lâ—â— thou knowest that there was neuer more necessity of begging in this kind thy helpe because humble Loue is now of the world allmost vnknown yea euen of them who should teach it the resâ—â— the wisedome of thy truth is sett a sideâ— and that which is the wisedome of the world beareth sway ouer all out of which it groweth that euen Humility Obedience and Charity the most noble vertues that are or can be are exacted and practised euen by way of humaine policy which maketh so litle vnion in the world beâ—weene them â—hose whole study ought to bâ— how they might loue and draw most forciâ—ly all the harts and soules in the â—orld to the pure loue of thee O Lord how farr haue our sinns cast vs from â—hee In lighten my soule O Lord I â—umbly beseech thee while heere to my greif I do in the bitternes of my soule rehearse these things befor â—hee whom I most contemptible and â—nworthy find in all so willing to â—ear and help me If we would loue we should aboundantly partake of â—hee For nothing is held by thee too deare for them who alone aboue all creatures and comforts seek the pure â—oue of thee Out of this true loue betâ—een a soul and thee there ariseth such a knowledg in the soul that it â—oatheth all that is an impediment to â—er further proceeding in the Loue of thee O Loue Loue euen by naming â—hee my soul looseth it self in â—hee Nothing can satiat my soul my Lord as it is well known to thee but â—o be swallowed vp in thee for all eternity No knowledg which heer we can haue of thee can satisfy my soul seeking and longing without ceasing after thee By faith we are certain of thee and by Loue we in some sort experience in our soules thy greatnes and goodnes thy beawty and sweetnes which more confirmeth vs in the hope of thee O what knowledg is to be compared to that which is taught the humble by thee which tendeth yet only to thy making her vnderstand her owne nothing and meer dependance of thee Thy words as my deare S. Augustin sayth speaking in his wonted maner to thee do-â—â—eâ— smile vpon those that neither seek oâ— desire any thing but thee What cansâ— thou deny to such as thus loue thee Verily thou seemest so enamoured of them as if thou wert forgettfull of the infinitnes of thy Maiesty The more they become humble the more they are regarded by thee and the more in thy light do they perceaue their vnworthines to be thus aduanced to loue thee which the more short it is of that which in will they desir by more and more humility to become before thee the more they endeaâ—our to become gratefull to thy infinit mercy O who can expresse the ioy that an humble soule takes in being despised for thee Verily nothing doth she esteeme so great a burthen as to be fauoured honoured esteemed or applauded by men whose opinion she feareth may deceaue her through her great frailty O how little is the opinion of men to be esteemed seeing they are so â—â—ekle inconstant and easily deceaued but thy iudgments my Lord God are true and iustified in themselues be thou my witnes and defender who â—â—nst not be deceaued and then lett all the world censure me as they please a good conscience is better then a thousand wittnesses giue me this then and I shall easily passe through all things Speak my Lord peace to my hart that I may attend to thee alone my only beloued Shall I after all thy benefits desir any thing beside thee O no my Godâ— farr farr farr be this misery from me after my soul hath been thus vrged by thee to sigh long and thirst without ceasing after being vnited with thee THE FIFT CONFESSION TELL me my Lord I beseech thee what can my soul pretend if it seek any thing with thee which is an impediment
for vaine is the help of man I will therefor confide in thee my God my mercy who be Adored Praised and Exalted for tyme and eternity Amen THE NINTH CONFESSION LEX Domini immaculata conuertens animas testimonium Domini fidele sapientiam praestans paruulis Iustitiae Domini rectae laerificantes corda praeceptum Domini lucidum illuminans oculos The Law of our Lord is immaculate correcting soules the Testimony of our Lord is faithfull giuing Wisedome to little Ones The Iustices of our Lord be right making harts ioyfull the precept of our Lord light some illuminating the eyes These my God are the words of thy Royall Prophet which are as it followeth in the same Psalme to be desired aboue gold and rich pretious stones yea they are more sweet to a louing soul then the honny or the honny combe Lett this Law of thine conuert my soul that it may become one of thy little ones to whom the grace of true Wisedome is oâ—ten promised by thee Lett thy Iustice make my hart ioyfull For in the perâ—ormance thereof is true Peace only to be found They that liue according to this thy Iustice do enioy such a diuìne tranquillity that it cannot be expressed by any pen whatsoeuer None can walk in this path of true Iustice in perfection but the humble Those find out in thy light what is thy best will and pleasure in all things as farr as humane flesh will admitt and perform thy iust will as well as human frailty will reach When we do perform any thing by this iust rule of thy holy will we find an admirable effect theâ—eof in our soul. This is that which by performing in all things we become truly subiect to thee and haue the merit of Obedience which maketh all our actions so noble before thee and of which vertue of Obedience how much or how little our actions partake so much and no more do they deserue reward Worthyly may Obedience be preferred before Sacrifice For it is that which gouerneth heauen and earth and which only deserueth reward in thy sight Happy are they who walk this way For they haue a â—ast euen of the ioyes of heauen For as they there obey thy will so these thy humble soules do also endeauour to do the same This Obedience to thee maketh the Angells as â—ell content with their degree of Glory as to be of the Seraphins who are yet in a farr higher degree in thy Kingdome This maketh the Saints content with theirs this maketh soules on earth who aspire to thee with all their harts to limit their desires with thy good will and pleasure and by this meanes they desire neither life nor death but in it conforme themselues to thy most iust will this maketh them desyre disgrace nor Glory neither paine nor health neither Crosses nor comforts This Obedience to thee and to Superiors for thee made some soules pleasing to thee by liuing in the wildernes and others by liuing in a Community some by liuing to the profit of their neighbour and others by liuing and attending only to thee in their soules some by liuing in high and eminent degree and hauing commaund ouer many others and some by being esteemed abiect and the very scumme of the world and these if they had of their own choice and election chosen the contrary state would neuer haue arriued to true Sanctity Some also by many paines Crosses come to thee some only by an internall affectioÌ„ to thee hauing that in affection which others suffer in act they also are respected by thee By which it appeares how great a subiection is exacted by thee of those who desire to become vnited to thee and neuer can we prosper in a Spirituall life vnlesse we hearken to thee and obserue euen in the least things what thou wouldst haue vs do and go that way thou wouldst haue vs in all things whatsoeuer For we may be sure thou willt lead vs by the way of Abnegation which is the way of the Crosse which if we will walk with humility and simplicity we shall with security arriue at the port of eternall Glory and enioy thee our only beloued in that degree thou hadst ordained for vs from all eternity liue we long or dy we soone For only in thee can we be happy and by thy meere grace can we deserue to enioy thee What we ouercome is so done in thy strength that the glory is wholy due to thee alone and this I find dayly seeing that when I presume of my own strength though it be in a thing which I haue often ouercome and many times farr greater it seemes to me yet I faile in that euen often to the offending thee my Lord in an extraordinary maner From this errour therefor my God heerafter deliuer thy poore contemptible seruant that I may praisâ— thee who art my only strength and hopeâ— Lead me which way thou willt soâ—â— may blesse thee in all and rest in thee aboue all From thee the strong receaue their strength and in thee sinners that haue nothing of our owne haue wherewith to supply all our want thou flyest vp with them who by an ardent loue haue surmounted all created things and are firmely vnited to thee in Spirit and thou also lendest thy sweet hand to thy little and imperfect ones who are of a good will to help them out of the mire and durt of passions and inordinate affections In this mercy my soul doth hope and reioice and I do in my pouerty congratulate the perfections of others beseeching thee to make me partaker of their merits And aboue all out of the aboundance of thy owne store giue me whereâ—ith to retorn to thee for all the merâ—ies thou hast shewed to my sinnefull â—oul Lett me please thee and praise â—hee and desire no more but that thou do with me whatsoeuer thou knowst most to thy honour O that soules would conuert their hart wholy to thee the most desirable beawty to whom if we compare all that is fair which thou hast made they will seeme â—o be without all beawty and light O if by humility soules would dispose themselues for the Diuine Loue what a reformation would there quickly be in the whole world When I remember how many soules seperate themselues by sinfull sinning from thee it pearceth my very soul seeing they forsak him who is an infinit good and a most amiable beawty Remember O Lord for thy own sake our extreame frailty and giue graâ—e that we may all conuert and return by Loue to thy Diuine Maiesty whose mercies are aboue all thy works for which Glory be euer to thee by all for time and eternity Amen THE X. CONFESSION ACCEDITE ad Deum illuminamini facies vestrae non confundentur Come to Him and be illuminated and your faces shall not be confounded These words in our diuine Office are spoken not only by him who by thy owne testimony was a man
most louing and tender maner and beseeching thy assistance in all her streightnesses and necessities she findeth this way of Abnegation sweet aboue all the delights of the world For by rectifying our will and conforming it in all to thyne we walk an easy way and find a â—ast of the ioy which they feele who are in heauen vnited to thee for all eternity with whom lett vs praise thee for euer and euer Amen Amen I beseech thee THE XII CONFESSION SI dedexit homo omnem substantiam domus sâ—ae pro Dilectione quasinihil despiciet eam If any Man shall giue aâ— the substance of his how 's for Loue as if it were nothing He shall dispise it O my Lord and my God to whom only all Loue is due Behold I desire with all my hart to giue all for this thy Loue. But alas what hath thy poore seruant to giue thee Verily nothing that may deserue this thy Loue as a requitall it being aboue all I am or can suffer or do What can I giue thee seeing I haue nothing but what I haue receaued of thee If I giue thee my body and soul what is that in comparison of what I owe vnto thee them indeed I haue consecrated to thee but as due to thee by right not as before appertaining to me vnlesse I â—ould vsurp that which I was to restore to thee What then shall I giue â—hee for this thy loue so much desired and sighed after by me If I reflect vpon my selfe I haue nothing to giue to thee But shall I in this my extream â—ouerty and nothing despair of gaining and obtaining this most desirable Loue of thee which reioyceth my soul euen to name and speak of to thee No No I will not feare to obtain it of thee For if that which I haue and am be as indeed it is short of deseruing this fauour from thee which is of being indeed one of those who seek desire and loue only thy selfe and all others meerly for thee yet I will giue thy-self to thee who art all my ioy and the only desire and treasure of my hart By thy-self I will praise thee and in thee I wilâ— hope to be transformed into that loue which shall be swallowed vp in thee for all eternity Only to loue thee was my soul created and only by being turned wholy into loue can my soul be truly happy What can my soul desire out of â—hee seeing thou art only Good and the most incomprehensible beawty which the Angells are neuer satisfyed with beholding being infinitly delighted while they are wholy turned into the pure loue and Praise of thee We heer in this vale of teares do sigh with teares in our eyes longing to enioy thee and to be freed from the occasions of offending thy sweet Mercy We I say sigh and make our moane to thee while it is dayly said to our soul where is thy God Yea euen I say so speaking to thee where art thou my Lord and when shall I without all mean be vnited to thee that my loue may be intierly bestowed vpon thee and nothing but thy selfe liue and raign in me that without ceasing I might Praise and Adore thee the most glorious and amiable Maiesty to whom all knees ought to bow and prostrat we ought to acknowledg our meere dependance of thee O how plaine dost thou sometimes shew it me that I am nothing and lesse then nothing while I stand before thee neither can any thing be by iustice due to me otherwais then by thy meere mercy if I should neuer so faithfully serue and praise thee For what can they challenge of thee who were not able so much as to moue or be without thee much lesse do any good or suffer any thing purely for the loue of thee Giue me therefor that I may haue to giue vnto thee seeing by my selfe I am not able according to my desire to loue and praise thee by thy-self without ceasing I will praise and loue thee and in thy mercy and grace shall my soul hope to become truly pleasing to thee heere I will by faith adhere to thee and by loue my soul shall both day and night aspire vnto thee till at last by the merits of thy death Passion death shall be swallowed vp in victory In the meane time lett the loue of true Charity instruct me which is more strong then death that I may faithfully serue thee though it be not yet admitted me to enioy thee Lett me rest in nothing but thee and lett thy name be my defence and comfort which to hear and behold doth aboue all earthly things delight and refresh me amidst the stormes of temptations which daily assault me O my God indeed thou art that vnchangeable light which I euer come to consult with in all my afflictions and necessities and beholdâ— to my vnspeakeable comfort and strength I heare thee giuing answers by saying this and commanding that and this I do by resorting to thee often This is that which delighteth me and I fly as speedily to this pleasure as I iustly may from all the actions which are imposed vpon me euen by necessity it self and it exceedingly â—eioiceth me to sitt down and sigh after thee and by speaking and writing to and of thee to become at least for that short time forgettful of all things besids thee This is that which maketh the grieuous but then of flesh and bloud tolerable to me in which liuing my soul by sin cometh often to my grief aboue all other miseries wounded to thee crauing and beseeching for thy own-sake that I may neuer faile to beg and find mercy of thee whom to offend is the only misery that can in this life befal me and no pain or difficulty is feared by me saue so farr as it may considering my extreame frailty be a meanes to make me offend thee O Lord do not reiect me though I haue neuer done any good and am so farr from truly louing thee I will now take the aduiâ—e giuen me to fly be silent and quiet and I will howerly come to learn the song of Loue and Praise of thee teach me to know my self and to know thee I desir that wisdome which despiseth all for loue of thee and only that knowledg do I wish for that securely guideth a soul towards thee and into thee Those that loue thee and seek only to please thee are those which haue a sight in part of what in heauen we shall enioy cleerely for all eternity O what knowledge doth a truly louing soul obtain of thee and how much is her faith confirmed in the greatnes beawty and infinitnes of thy Maiesty but alas they are drawn down by the weight of their corruptible flesh and sometimes euen forgett what they haue with the eyes of their soul seen and learnt of thee and sometimes foolishly think they are something till they feele the effect of this their misery and offend thee
through their pride and forgettfullnes of their own nothing and of the greatnes of thy Maiesty which pride aboue all things deliuer me from I beseech thee becaus it makes soules so odious before thy self and all that loue thee Lett me giue all Glory to thee who without any desert of myne hast thus sweetly with Grace preuented me for which be thou euer by all Praised and Adored Amen THE XIII CONFESSION O Lord whose Power Maiesty and Wisedome haue no end haue mercy on me sinner and giue me leaue to speak vnto thee my God and aske thee whither men are pleasing to thee becaus they abound with human knowledg And behold thou affirmest no but vnhappy are they who can pearce into all things if they be ignorant of thee Lett me therefor loue and then I shall not be ignorant of that knowledg which maketh soules so pleasing in thyne eyes to wit knowledge of thee and my self O Loue which in lightnest soules and inflamest harts wâ—th chast loue flow into my soul This loue is honourable wisedome and though the enioyers thereof be accounted fooles by the wise of this world yet thou hast another opinion of them and their humble soules find much fauour in thy pure eyes my God! With this Loue did those abound of whom S. Paul speaketh that they went vp and down in goats skinnes needy despised hidden in dennes and caues of whom the world was not worthy yet some of thy Saints became very honourable and glorious euen in the eyes of the world the which was forced to acknowledge thee great in and by them and there was no resisting of thy wisedome speaking by them amongst which of these thy seruants was the great S. Augustin Doctor and light of thy Church a most ardent louer of thee my God Hee in those books of his that I haue seene turneth his speaches so to thy Maiesty that his words thereby become sweeter then ordinary and while he declareth his own misery he giueth to vnderstand to vs thy most aboundant mercy that all that desire to loue thee my Godâ— may being inuited by him praise thee with him and for the fauour shewed by thee to him O that all to whom thou offrest the fauour of bestowing on them thy diuine Loue if they would after sinning by true Humility dispose themselues for it would become by his example gratefull to thee and loue thee as thou wouldst by them be beloued O how soon dost thou by thy Grace wipe out the sinnâ—â— of such who now detesting their former il liues do striue by humble loue to become grateâ—ull to thee for thy preuenting Mercy O Lord my God though thou hast forgiuen me much yet I am farr from louing thee much Those who now enioy thee that haue heertofor beene sinners as I be they Intercessors to thee for meâ— and be thou euer praised for thy infinit mercy by all thy Maiesties creatures for euer anâ— euer Amen THE XIV CONFESSIONâ— O Lord my God who sweetly disposest all things giue thy poore contemptible creature leaue to speake vnto thee who art the only desire of my soul and my hope from my youth and entierly beloued of my hart To thee I will speak and write not as to one a far of but to stirr vp my soul to Loue thee alone and to draw occasions out of all things to praise and exalt thee whose mercies are aboue all thy works To whom should I make my moane in all my miseries but to thy self who art my God and All and who art neerer to me then I am to my self To whom should I go to be instructed but to the fountain of all wisedome Behold men change their mindes and almost euery man differeth in opinion from another in matters that are indifferent and so great is my ignoranâ—e and blindnes naturally that vnâ—esse thou instruct me I shall all waies â—auer and neuer come to any true â—erfection of knowledg They stand at â—oo great a hazard who confide in â—hemselues and cast not their hope â—holy vpon thee All creatures are vnstable and those that seeke not â—hee aboue all creatures but putt their trust more in men then in thee will find no true peace in their soules O that I did truly Loue for by Loue only my soul shall becom capable of vnderstanding truth Loue is humble â—eaceable subiect to thee in all things The soul that loueth thee is more conuersant in heauen then on earth and what heere she of necessity must admit of serues to her rather as a cessation then any consolation The soul that Loues findeth occasion in all and by all things to praise thee my God and to humble it self Such are willingly subiect for thee and do see how odious it is to thee to see that subiects should contemn contradict or withstand thâ— power in Superiors and make theiâ— imperfection a colour for our sinneâ— If it be right between our soules anâ— thee we shall gladly obey thee speaâ—ke thou or ordain thou by whom thoâ—â— pleasest Teach me therefor to obey for thou only canst instruct me whâ— true humble Obedience is If thou dâ— not teach me I may perhaps giue to Caesar what is tâ—yne and deny to giue Caesar what is due to him by thy will Let me obey therefor for theeâ— and in order to thy will and with an internall regard of thee whose due is all the subiection and loue that can be giuen by my poor soul. Open the eyes of my soul that I may see what thou exactest in all things Instruct me by whom and in what maner thoâ— pleasest So I may but know what thy will and pleasure is it suffizeth thy poore seruant Giue me grace to obey thee my God with all that Loue thee for euer Amen THE XV. CONFESSION O Lord my God what soul that truly loues thee can complain what difficulties soeuer she endures or how great a desolation soeuer obscures her soul or how great paines soeuer she sustaines seeing thou whom she loueth more then her life and self art always the same beholding with an amorous and louing eye the louing soul afflicted by thee or by thy permission rather to try her fidelity then to oppresse her with such a burthen that might separate her from her only beloued for seeing nothing is dreaded by her but to be seperated from her God she holding humility and confidence thou O Lord wilt neuer permit her to be ouercome For thou makest the quarrel thyne own thus fought by vs and the victory ours though indeed gained by thee not by our own selues O how happy am I in thy Power and Glory Verily though I were to return to my own nothing yet I could not account my self void of an infinit happines seeing my God who is more mine then â— am my own would remain and be the same in all Wisedome and Maiesty Thâ—s is the repose of my labour and the crown of my glory in which I will exult in my greatest
deeds it beareth al things it hopeth al things and it confideth in thee aboue al things it wisheth only that thy will may be performed in al and by al creatures by which meanes it retaineth true peace in al that happeneth O giue me this â—hy loue which worketh such wonderful effects in an humble soul Giue it to me and I wil aske thee no more Let it posses my soul that nothing but thy self may be loued or desired by me Can thy Goodnes find in thy hart to see me thus languishing for want of thy loue seeking my selfâ— in al things and not being able out of true loue to suffer any thing It is true thoâ— hast made my soul to loath all created things and hast shewed me most plainly that all is vanity and affliction of spirit saue to loue thee and that nothing is permanent vnder the Sun â—and that vain and inconstanâ— is euery creature liuing so that 〈◊〉 cannot me thinks if I would so am I held by thee desire the friendship or fauour of any creature but this is not sufficient for me anâ— therefor take pitty on me begging and beseeching grace and mercy oâ— thee It suffiseth not me that my souâ— refuseth to be comforted but I musâ— also remember my God that with his loue my soul may be inflamed Art thou ignorant that my soul hauing had through thy sweet Mercy a tast of thee cannot find comfort in any thing but in inioying of thee O no this is as al other things are most manifest to thee and if thou wouldst not haue had me thus for loue to importune thee thou wouldst not haue made me incapable of being satisfied without thee This which I say I do not speak of presumption but out of the vrgent desir of my hart â—hich hath resolued to conuert it self wholy to thee thou who didst bid me to aske hast promised I shall reâ—eaue thou who didst bid me knock â—ast promised it shall in time conâ—enient be opened to meâ— which â—owre O my Lord when shall it be â—hat without ceasing I may praise â—hee and neuer any more offend thee â—Til which be granted me I wil sigh â—fter thee and in my hart in the bitâ—ernes of my soul I will cal vpon â—hee and somtimes I wil also being enabled and inuited thereunto by thee sing loue songs to my well-beloued who is euer within the hearing of meâ— For thou art not like the louers oâ— this world vpon whom that loue yet which is only due to thee is often bestowed heere to day and â— far off to morrow No no thus iâ— is not between thee and thy louers Foâ— though thou triest them that theiâ— loue may become more pure yeâ— thou seeing them begin to faile vnâ—der their burthen dost quickly caâ—â— thine eyes vpon them and with tâ—â— sweet dew of thy Grace refresheâ— them that by these changes theiâ— loue may grow more strong and bâ— firmely established in thee who arâ— that only thing which is only necesâ—sary for me and which only I reâ—quire of thee Let this thy loue worâ— in and by me becaus thou rewardeâ— no works but thine own and let mâ— loue thee as thou wouldst be belouâ— by me I cannot tell how much loâ—â— I would haue of thee becaus I woulâ— loue thee beyond all that can be imaâ—gined or desired by me be thou in this as in al other things my chooser for me who art my only choice most deare to me Glorious things are said of thee my Lord and God the most absolute and amiable beawty the more I shall loue thee the more wil my soul desire thee and to suffer for thee Let me loue thee for thy self and not any thing insteed of thee and let my whole substance by thy loue and Praise be consumed in me that I may return pure vnto thee who be by al in Heauen and Earth blessed and loued fer euer and euer Amen THE XXIX CONFESSION O My God my only beloued me thinks I heare thee sweetly checking my soul with these words when vnder what pretence soeuer I pretend by my care or vnreasonable solicitude that more then One thing is necessary to my soul therby falling into that multiplicity whicâ— is so apt to dimme and obscure our soul and so contrary to a pure tending to Thee our only good and to a remouing of al impediments between our souls and thee by transcending al created things whatsoeuer these words I say thou often speakest to my hart Quem quaeris mulier viuentem cum mortuis Whom dost thou seek woman one liuing amongst the dead But Lord I answer tâ—ee now in al desir and humâ—lity of hart that I seek nothing but thy felf no guift no comfort or sweetnes no friends but thy self and thy heauenly Cittezens no power but of wishing that thy wil may be my law no honour but thine no consolation but that I may in solitude and silence al the dayes of my liâ—e be able to liue without all consolation human or diuine no recreation by conuersation or other business or imployments but so far as it is necâ—ssarâ— to beare vp my spirit to attend vnto tâ—ee more seriously at conuenient times and rather let al necessary distraction by help of thy Grace serue as a meere cessation then by the least affection to them or comfort in them they should become an impediment to my aspiring to thee For this is a rule thou knowst hath been gâ—uen me by a faithfull seruant of thy diuine Maiesty who indeed gaue me most generall iâ—structions that we might not be â—yed to him or any other creature but might being left more free to thee fly the more freely with wings of Diuine loue which carieth a soul euen in human flesh aboue all that is not thy very self of such force is thy Grace concurring with our will which is by naâ—ure capable of an â—nfinite extent towards thee when as it neither seeketh intendeth desireth willeth nor resteth in any â—hingâ— but theâ— Tâ—is I say was his generall rule that if we did not do â—hings with affection they would cause vs no hurtfull distraction which grant may be so vnto me I beseech thee who am not able without much and often diuerting my ind to indifferent things to attend to thee in my soul at other fitting times and this by reason of my great weaknes of body and head Let al this imperfection in mee humble me and let it be no impediment to my truly louing seruing praising thee and adhering only to thee which is my only desire by al I doâ— or omit Let not my greâ—uous sinnes past or present too much deiect or trouble mee but let them serue to humble my soul and be a meanes totally to subect it to thee and al others so far as it is thy wil it should be Let me praise thee in al whose prouidence and care hath been so infinit great towards me thy most contemptible creature the which
mind in which I languish are much more grieuous then those of the body For these make vs but vngratful to men but the other make vs displeasing in thine eyes But thy goodnes as it is seene in this example together with the cure of the one did also vse to grant pardon for the other For thou didst say to him Thy sins are foâ—giuen thee by wâ—ich he became cured in body and soul. This thy mercy I remember with great ioy and comfort and falling down at thy feet my Lord I beg of thee that thou wilt be merciful to me a sinner for thy own sake and say vnto my soul Thy sinnes are forgiuen tâ—ee and grant that I may now begin to liue to thee that so by thy grace al impediments may be remoued which hinder me from louing thee as thou wouldst be loued by me whicâ— is al I wish or desire To this end I fly to thee to this end I sigh after thee only wishing and desiirng that in al things thy holy wil may be perfectlyâ— accomplished in me for time and eternity If I should not howrly approach to thee who art the only true light darknes and the shadow of death would ouerwhelm me and make me vncapable of this thy light which leadeth to the true loue of thee O how happy were I if I could truly say Anima mea in manibus meis semper My soul in my hands always that so my soul might truly hear and follow what my Lord speaketh to my hart For thy words ate works O giue me a true contempt of myâ—sef that I may dy to al that the world esteemeth or desireth For I find where I seek my self there I am caught as it were in a snare and where I forâ—ake my self there I become more and more capable of that true liberty of spirit which carrieth the soul aboue it self and al created things that iâ— may more perfectly be vnited to thee For this is thy wil that by true Abnegation in al things both external and internal and by a total subiection to thee both as concerning our selues and al others in any thing that can be wished by vs we should enioy a certain diuine heauenly peace amidst the crosses passiôs contradictions andmutabilities which are incident to our life in this warfare of ours For the more sound a soul is in the practise of this doctrin of thine of denying herself in al and following thee by proposing no other end to her self in any thing but thy self alone the more she getteth as I may say her soul into her hands and the lesse she is moued in al things that happen either without her or within her For she seeth and knoweth that such haue euer been thy practise and permissions about crosses and difficulties falling vpon souls which was and is with and for this intention of thine that they of necessity must suffer and therby become disposed and in some sort worthy for to enter into thy Kingdom Neither doth the soul that attendeth to thee wonder at crosse accidents nor at the wayes or meanes by which they fal vpon her but in al of them she confideth in thee that they shal al turn to her greatest good And as for the faults which she comitteth she humbleth herself hoping stil more and more in thy merciâ—ful forgiuenes and assistance It is not strange to her to see so many and different opinions of al men concerning the vse of matters and things that of themselues are indifferent but remembring that as S. Paul saith Euery man aboundeth in his own sense she adhereth to thee who art stil the same and hath relation to thee in al she doth or omitteth By which meanes thou teachest her seeking simply thine honour in al things where when in what maner and of whom she shal ask in doubtful cases For it is al one to her O my God If thou require it to be resolued by another or by thyâ—self But indeed in the way of Abnegation questions are rare and to go forth questioning without thy sending is but a meere immortification and doth intangle the soul and bring her into inconueniences incomprehensible and for such doing when we so do we cannot passe without a bitter check for it in our intâ—rior by thy diuine Maiesty as thou knowst my good Lord my soul hath experienced For those souls that thou leadest by the way of loue of them I say thou exactest that they should make their moane only to thee thou hauing as it were giuen them a pledge that thou wilt become al in al and aboue al to them if they wil but remain faithâ—ul to thee Also they so litle desire or esteem any graces comforts or fauours which can be granted or bestowed vpon them but only so far as they are meerly necessary to maintain them in grace and fauour in thee and only as they are thought fit for them by thee whom they deâ—ire to be gratful to for al thy benefits that they neuer desire them but wish rather to adhere to thee by pure faith that they may become therby the more deare and pleasing to thee For a as my Lord God what is al thou canst giue to a louing soul who sigheth and panteth after thee alone and esteemeth al things as dung that she may gain thee What is al I say whilst thou giuest not thy-fâ—lf who art that one thing which is only necessary and which alone can satisfy our souls Was it any comfort to St Mary Magdalen when she sought theâ— to find two Angels which presented themselues insteed of tbee verily I cannot think it was any ioy vnto her For that soul that hath set her whole loue and desire on thee can neuer find any true satisfaction but only in thee Yea comforts granted by thee make the soul become affraid least thâ—t by them she should the less â—a thfully serue thee and so far as it may stand with thy wil considering my extraordinary frailty I had rather serue thee without consolation then to find or feel that which may make me esteeme any thing of my self or hinder me from resting only in thee who arâ— my God and al my desire for euer Amen THE XXXVII CONFESSION THis day my Lâ—rd it is read in the Gospel of our Office that thou didst send thy seruants into the lanes for the poor lame blind and deformed to coÌ„pel them to enâ—ter and tast of thy supper the which thy Mercy did so particularly extend it self to me that with great ioy and comfort I heare it read and with exceeding desire of gratitude I recount it heer in the sight of thy diuine Maiesty For first who could be more deformed in body and soul then I and yet thou didst not despise me and Secondly who could haue less desir to enter into holy Religion which is the place where we may most aboundantly tast and see how sweet our Lord is then my frozen and stupid soul
giuen to those who for thy sake requite euil with good then the true peace which they find in their souls by it it were most worthy our labour But thou my Lord reseruest great reward in the next life for those who for bitternes caused to them by others do return sweetnes vnto â—hem yea nothing is more pleasing and acceptable to thee then that we by humility and patience do pacify those who are offended with vs. But alas my God I wil speak and wil not be silent in the eares of my Lord and with teares in mine eyes wil bewail my sins and offences I â—now there is no more true loue in our souls to our neighbours then we are dead to our selues and liue vnto thee What therefor can I think of my poor soul so barrein of al true vertue If I loue thy very-self so little as indeed I do where wilt thouâ—ind â—ind in me that Charity which by thy law I owe for thee towards them Verily when I consider how destitute I am of al that might make me pleasing in thine eyes I cannot but tremble and fear Yet again taking hart remembring thy Mercy towards me I find I haue cause of hope thou being goodnes itself whose nature is to desir to impart it-self which if thou wilt be pleased to do to my poor soul I shal notwithstanding al my sins become yet in thee and by thee most happy towards which I beseech thee grant me grace to dispose my-self for thy only honour who be Blessed for euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O Lord my God what Mercy art thou pleased to shew to my sinful soul Is it possible after so many abominable offeÌ„ces that thou shoudst thus particularly fauour me If it were euer possible to be lawful for thy creatures to exclaim against thee and taxe thee oâ— iniustice it might be admitted them in this thou hast done and doest â—or me the most sinnful and most contemptible of al thy Maiesties creatures If â— had euer donâ— any good they perhaps would not wonder at theâ— but as it is theâ— cannot but at least admire thy infinit sweetnes and Mercy For what sin is there I haue not comitted at least by my wil. But the greater thy Mercâ— the more I hope the honouâ— and praise wil be which thy seruanâ— wil yeild to tâ—ee for itâ— and do thâ—â— thy self I beseech theâ— supply ouâ— defect in this and al other things so that perfect praise may be yeilded to thee in al and by al for euer and euer Amen THE XLIII CONFESSION LOrd with great ioy I desir to celebrat this diuine Solemnity of thy Resurrection Thou hast shewed thy-self in al formes so that the weakest capacities might in some sort apprehend thee who art incomprehensible Thou appearedst a child that thy little ones might conceiue more easily some things that might moue them to loue thee and being as it is were astonished at tâ—y loue towards vs and at thy infinit humility we might thirst after thy example and loue only thee For al thou hast done or said is for our comfort and instruction What hast thou left vndone which might any way further our good if we would but concur with thy Grace But we streying from thee how can we choose but be blind For only in thy light can we see and discern that which only importeth vs to see and know to wit to know thee therby to loue thee and to know our-selues therby to humâ—ble vs in al things before thy Diuine Maiesty For nothing but true Humility can make vs gracious in thine eyes So much as we truly humble our selues so much and no more do we encrease in our loue to thee O how peaceful amidst al storms is the souls of the humble how fauoured by thee though they be dispised by the whole world They are indeed often neglected by men but most conuersant with thee and thine Angels and Saints in heauen Neuer was there euer such acquaintance loue and friendship between any in this world as there is between thy Goodnes and an humble soul that seeketh thee aboue al graces and gifts whatsoeuer and transcendeth al created things that she may adhere to thee in the bottom of her soul. Verily it is so strange that it puttetâ— the heauently Court into admiration that we that haue dedicated our souls wholy to thee should loue seeke or desir any thing besids thee But alas human frailty as they wel know is very great and therefor they also cannot choos but pitty and pray for vs and especially we women silly to all things that this â—orld admires and therefor most contemptible of al creatures if we do not labour for the loue of thee â— the which to do thou dost as willingly enable vs as thou dost the wise of the world if we hinder not thy grace who despisest not any thing thou hast made How much are we to be therefor blamed and condemned if we labour not I say for thy loue Yea to shew thy power thou hast been pleased many times to bring a silly woman louing thee to that wisedom that no creature by wit or industry could attain to the same But where my Lord haue these thy Spouses in these dayes placed there harts Where I say seeing they seek and desir so much the â—auour and praise of the world to haue the friendship of men and by letters and toâ—ens to draw their harts from thee vnto them notwithstanding as good reason it prospereth not with vs in such doing for they by this meanes seeing our defect in louing thee cannot confide in them who are not true to thee but coÌ„trary compare vs to those who profer loue to al and yet as we ought for thee loue none O Lord remoue these scandals from thy Church Let vs though we cannot serue thee in great matters yet let vs I say haue no â—arts but to loue thee no tongues but to praise thee nor eyes but to behold thy creatures as things inuiting our souls to loueâ— sigh pant and â—uen languish after tâ—ee No eares but to heare what is thy will and in fine not to liue but in and for tâ—ee and for thy loue to be subiect to euery human creature as far as it is exacted of vs by thee Giue that humilityâ— which by thy blessed Apostle Saint Paul thou requirest in vs that I may willingly submit my-self to the power of Superiors set ouer me by â—hee It is true I see and hear daily â—hat scandals what discorders and â—hat confusions arise in Communities for want oâ— due submission in subiects to their Superiors but alas my God certeinly a chief cause therof is at least in many who haue good wils becaus thy are not taught to obey tâ—ee interiorly in their souls out of which it would proue easy to them to obey exteriorly wheras now it semes a burthen intolerable and forsooth vnder pretence of greater perfection we often fal inâ— to open rebellion Surely
this was not the practise of Saints who yet sound often great opposition and mortification by meanes of Supeâ—iors which they bearing patiently and obeying stil out of an internalâ—egard â—egard of thee in their souls al turned to their greater aduancement in â—hy loue and their Superiors at last â—y thy help concurred to that which â—hey desired so far as it was thy wil who hast disposed of al things in order and iustice and nothing can be wel done but that we do out of an internal light from thee and out of obedience to thee to whom obedience is due in al things whatsoeuer Thou hast set an order in al things and euery thing as it is ordained by thee wil concur to a most heauenly harmony but corrupting thy meaning al things are out of order and peace on al sides is disturbed O how happy are they whose souls are in a right way to hear and follow thy wil and who do nothing without consulting with thee in their soul giuing that to God which is only Gods own and to Caesar that which is due to Caesar for God for both these obediences are necessary to make a true spiritual life For in vaine do we giue to thee if we deny Obedience to them who are set ouer vs by thee and also in vaine is it to please and haue the fauour of our Superiors if we internally neglecâ— to haue in al things relation to thee from both these errors deliuer me I beseech thee that my soul may be a peaceful habitation for thee Let me humbly behaue my-self towards al and let me not measure my case before thee by the opinion my Superiors and Sisters haue of me for they may applaud me and yet it may stand il with me before thee and they may take al in another worser sense then thou knowst I meant it and that iustly and yet it may go wel between thy goodnes and me through thy abound Mercy THE XLIV CONFESSION O How happy are those souls who loue nothing but thee Verily there is so little stability in al things but in thee that it is a strange thing that we should liue so miserable liues thou offering vs a most peaceful and quiet life if we would but seek thee alone who art more present to vs then we are to our selues and by thee our soul doth liue more then our body doth by our soul Those that posses thee haue al things and those who want thee if they had al the world can afford do yet indeed posses nothing If we desire to loue where our loue may not be lost what shall we loue but thee whâ— hast said Sicut dilexit me Pater ego dilexi vos As my Father loued me so haue I loued you Do we not therefor wel deserue to liue in al perplexity and misery if we do not leaue to loue al other things to set our whole loues vpon thee â—ho hast made vs such sweet promises yea let vs hear what thou dost further add Qui maneâ— in me ego in eo hic fert fructum multum Who remaineth in me and I in him bringeth forth much frâ—ict O let me be remain in thee and then let al the world be against me I desir not my God by any particular fauours in this life to be more certain of thee But I do beg of thee that by true Humility Obedience and Patience I may be more confirmed in thee by true loue only in simple faith in al desolations crosses pains disgraces miseries adhering to thee the only desire of my soul and not resting in any gift or grace of thine whatsoeuer that I may at last for thy oâ—n sake find fauour in the eyes of thy Diuine Maiesty notwirhstanding my sins and ignorances in which I haue hetherto liued for whieh thy mercy oâ— forgiuing them me be thou for euer blessed and praised by al thy creatures Amen Amen THE XLV CONFESSION O Lord my God to whom vpon al occasions I most vnworthy with thy leaue presume to speak and ask questions in my simple maner Open the eyes of my soul that I may know and vnderstand thy Wil and Law and Grace to perform them to thine honour Thou my God who art more mine then I am mine own do not reiect me speaking and writing to thee For what do I desir or wish but thee Or what are al things to me without thee Surely nothing For thou hast shewed me through thy sweet mercyâ— and grace without any desert of mine own that al things are vanity but to loue and please thee which I beseech thee that I may do with al the forces of my hart and soul. For truly there is no true peace or comfort out of thee Let me therefor know my-self and know thee that in al I may praise and please thee Amen THE XLVI CONFESSION LORD it is read to day of thee that Saint Mary Magdalen approaching to kis thy feet it would not be admitted her by thee If it may please thee I wil humbly aske of thee the meaning of this For I am somewhat amazed at it For when she came to thy feet loaden with many and greiuous sins thou admittedâ—â— her most easily and when she had a long time been trained vp in thy happy school of Perfection and had accompanied thee in thy Passion and mourned for thee at thy tomb taking no rest til thou her beloued returned to her again and besids she offered to haue taken thee away from al the world if they would haue but told her where they had laid thee and yet dost thou now deny her to touch and kis thy blessed feet What shal we think she loued thee less now then when she first desired to loue thee Or shal we think that as her loue grew more and more to thee thine grew less and less to her No God forbid I should euer admit of such a thought But O my Lord thou being â—isedom it-self intendedst to bring this great and ardent louer to a loue more spiritual then that with which she loued thee when tâ—ou conuersedst with her before thy death and Passion For it is thy custom with great mildnes to receaue sinners and when they grow more strong in loue thou seemest to treat them with more seuerity that they at first may hope in thee and go forward in thy loue and seruice and that after being a litle strengthned with light and comfort from thee thou mayst try them many ways least they should attribut that which they haue done to their own forces and that fauour which they haue receaed to their own labours and deserts which thou knowst we are very apt to do if thou didst not through permitting vs to fal into temptation shew vs our own frailty But this blessed Saint whose intercession I most humbly implore for thy sake whom now none can depriue her of did not think that by denying her to touch tâ—y feet she receaued wrong
iust that al things woulâ— happen to our greatest good iâ— we with humility and confidence in thee would proceed in al things And not any state condition or corporal complexion is there wherein thou hast not been serued in a perfect maner by some or other And if we run through al degrees from the Pope to the simple Religious and from the greatest Monarcâ— to the poorest begger in al we shal find some that haue faitfully serued and praised thee And as for naturâ—l coâ—plexions or dispositions the most wicked haue brought forth children prouing Saints and others who haue liued as to al maner of sinsâ— so iâ— that whole Contreys haue fared the worse for them and diuers souls perished by their means yet by humility haue become so pleasing to thee O Lord that thou madst them thy boosom friends And no trade nor occupation iâ— it be lawful but hath oâ— it Saints to the end to shew thou despisest nothing that thou haâ—t made how contemptible soeuer it seeme in the eyes of men Why therefor do we not loue thee seeing al things on thy part concur to this end We may pretâ—nd what excuse we wil but nothing wil excuse vs before thee who had no other end in creating vs but that we should be partakers of that glory which thou prepared for those that truly loue thee and in that country of al happines we sâ—al receaue al good things and aboue al shal enioy thee the beginning and fountain of al good without whom al things are as nothing as to the contenting and satisfying of our souls And seeing meerly thou crâ—atedst vs for ouâ— good thou being infinitly happy of thy-self before thou createdst any thing why shal we lay the fault of our not profiting or euerlasting perishing vpon theâ— If there had beeâ— any thing wanting of thy part wâ— might iustly complain to thee anâ— if there were any thing yet meerly necessary we requiring it humblâ— of thâ—e thou couldst not â—so infinâ—â— good art thou deny it vs. But seeinâ— thou createdst man in the state of innocency and after his â—al redeemedst him with the pretious Bloud of thy ouly begotten Son and hast giuen vs a Law vnder which we are to walk and by means of our holy Mother the Church hast and dost determine of al things as certainly as if that thou thy-self wert stil corporally present to giue answers in al things necessary to saluation how worthily are we to be condemned if we do not correspond and satisfy such thy most gratious wil and prouision about vs Besids we haue thee within vs to haue recourse vnto vpon al occasions the which that we may do with the les impediments thou hast ordained the ouerlooking and solicitude ouer vs of the Superiors thy Vicegerents who gouern vs heer by â—hy appointment and whom to resist in any thing so it do not derogâ—te from thy own authority immediatly to thy-self were highly to offend and displease thee For by these thy Substituts thou dost iudg and determin of Spirits and of the verity and goodnes of them and of their exercises and doings as whether they proceed from thee and thy motions or no and by them declarest what in general is to be done or omitted and in particular as there is occasion in seculars partly by seculars powers and in Religious by their Pastours and Superiours that thus being in some certeinty of subordination and good exterior order we may freely attend to thee in our souls without going forth but of meere necessity THE L. CONFESSION O WHO would seek or loue any thing but thee my God who art exceeding great and of thy goodnes there is no end Who woulâ— loose thee for nothing and depaâ—t from the fountain of life for to drink out of a Cestern that is â—ul of filthy and muddy water What are al things but thy self for the satisfying of our souls If thou diedst as thou diedst for vs that we might liue ouly to thee can we think it much if heauens earth sea and al contained in them rise vp against vs forgetting and neglecting thy Mercy O let vs loue thee and al things wil be at peace with vs and we at peace with our selues Is it not a shame for vs to see the birds praise thee and al creatures in their kind to giue the honour and yet we only capable of thy loue forgetful and vngrateful to thee What is there is this world but it calleth vpon vs to seek thee in sincerity of hart and to liue to thee alone and to make vse of them euery one in their kind to the end we may concur with them to the praise of thee our Lord and Creator to whom al loue and honour is only due The Angels most humbly assist vs and pitty vs offending thee which willingly to do is so hainous a thing in their eyes that they are amazed to see vs stray from true reason But alas man was in honour and knew it not he was compared to beasts and becamâ— like vnto them In this my misery I sigh and groane to my God who in this my affliction is only able to help and comfort mâ— O how can we find in our hart to offend thee That and that alone is to be esteemed truly a misery But yet are we sinners without comfort No no my God seeing thou canst forgiue more then we can offend and it wil redound to thine â—onour and praise for euer and euer that thou hast pardoned so many and greiuous sins and sinners In which thy glory I â—xult from â—he bottom of my soul becaus seeing I haue offended for which I am hartily sorry yet wil my God be extolled by al creatures for forgiuing it for al eternity O thou â—ho art thine own praise supply in this and in al other things the defect that is in al vs thy creatures to praise thee as thy iuâ—tice requireth thou so shouldst be magnifyed by vs al who without thee are nothing but a sack full of filth and the map of al misery THE LI. CONFESSION O Lord my deare God if we that are created to mine own image and liknes and whose happines doth consist in louing pleasing praising and enioying thee If we I say â— did seek and desir only thee how wel would it go in this world If we were faithful to thee al things would be so to vs. When I see any of thy creatures abuse the nobility of their soul by straying from thee or at least by loosing their time which is so precious in labouring and taking great pains to obtain the fauour of men or something els as litle to the purpose how can it but wound my very hart seeing thou art neglected and they take great pains for what they cannot possible obtain in the meane time forgetting to seek after thy sweet loue which might be obtained euen for nothing in coÌ„parison of what they sustain by labouring for that which perhaps if they do get
or obtain they are farther from being satisfyed then they were before It is true the more we loue thee the more we desire to loue thee And the more we loue the more able we are to loue and the more easy it is to loue and loue making al pains confusions difficulties and afflictions sweet what is there left to suffer Only indeed the hiding of thy face and denying vs fully to enioy thee this only remains to pearce our harts with if we truly loue and yet thy iust wil is a consolation euen in the greatest extremity of this difficulty Who would therefor not loue thee wholy forgetting themselues and their own profit and commodity either for time or eternity Certainly the Prophets Martyrs Confessors and Virgins that loued thee more then their liues found torments bannishments imprisonments and persecutions sweeter by reason of their loue to thee and of their desiring to be faithful to thy amiable Maiesty then al the pleasures contentments riches honours and glory of the world did euer yet yeald to those that haue most abounded therewith since the beginning of the world O if we could ask Salomon for al the aboundance he liued in and S. Francis in his pouerty or S. Laurence vpon his Gridiron and certainly both by his acknowledgment and theirs their pouerty and pain through loue were sweeter then al his delights euen in this world yea euen Iob sitting vpon the Dunghil and saying God gaue and God hath taken away as it pleaseth our Lord so let it be his name be blessed for euer enioyed more comfort and true peace in soul then al the comforts and pleasures of this world could giue or haue caused to him For only submission to thee my deare God bringeth true comfort to our souls O if we did truly humble ouâ— selues how greatly would thy goodnes be exalted in our souls If we did seek thee not thy gifts graces and comforts how then should we go out of our selues and therby enter into thee O if we were rruly humble how much wouldst thou be pleased to be serued by vs and how many do fare the better for thy humble ones though they be hidden and vnknown for such to the worldâ— Certeinly the humble are so deare to thee that thou seemest not willing or able to do any thing without them For while vnmindful of al but thee they forget themselues thou in â— the meane time enrichest them with thine own works that they may merit more grace glory and fauour before tâ—ee in al things thou dost or permittest to which to the vttermost of their power they concurre by humble resignation if they can do no more which is sufficient to satisfy thee who needest not our works or labours but it is our harts souls and loues that thou requirest and by which thou wilt do good to vs or by vs. What thou thinkest meet for vs to do or to be able to do ought to be indifferent to vs who should haue no wil but thine nor any election but of thee Wel may it be said that where Humility is there is also Wisedom For the truly humble being guided by thy interior Truth and Iustice more then by human wisedom surpasse the weaknes of their own folly for so al wisedom may be esteemed that is not from thee and in thy light by which light only we can discern the glorious truth and not by the natural light of our weak vnderstanding that is not able without a beame of thy Grace to discouer such truth so blind is our soul of it-self without tâ—ee and it is only true humility that maketh vs capable of this thy light And yet if a soul had been with S. Paul in the third Heauen if she should leaue the way of Humility she would return to her former blindnes and the more she by vsurping thy gifts and graces to herself did puff vp her self the more al true light and discretion would depart from her soul and the more het folly would appeare to heauen and earth to her great confusion both in this life and in the next if she did not return and come to know her own nothing For as it is truly said The corruption of the best is the worst O Lord deliuer al from this accursed sin of pride which turned Angels into most vgly diuels and hath been the caâ—se of the separation of so many souls created by thee to enioy eternal felicity from thee my God But especially deliuer those from this most odious vice who haue had the means by the mercy of thy sweet Goodnes to come to some true knowledg of thee and themselues For if we knew al and could discourse with al the wit and eloquence of the Philosophers Orators and Diuines of the causes and effects of al natural and supernatural things yet if we did not know thee by endeauouring truly to loue thee we might truly be said to know nothing For only by louing thee and knowing our selues is true Wisedom obtained And how can it but peruert al true Iustice that thou art by so few in comparison of the whole world sought with a pure intention If we being almost to death benumed with cold should for remedy go forth into the blustering and far colder wind or in the scortching heat of sommer should for mitigation therof to our body go to an hot flaming fire who would not iudg vs euen out of our witts for our so doing Euen so we when wanting supernatural light that is true light and necessary for the guidance of vs in the way towards thee we in lieu of seeking after that light and of taking the means to come by it do betake vs onâ—y to our natural light the which as to the said supernatural end is but meere blindnes and darknes and thus proceeding in assuming for our means the contrary oâ— that wâ— should we prosper both in our practice and in our end accordingly The things which we practise as vertues being indeed no true vertues for want of the discretion that it necessary for the perfection of themâ— and the which discretion is but the self same as the light had from thee wherby often-times our pretended vertues come to haue more of vices then of true vertues in them such defect proceeding out of this that indeed in our inâ—ard and secret consciences we think that we are able to do that which is right and proâ—itable of our own selues and without light and ability for it from thee And when harm falleth to vs or to others by such our blind proceedings we lay the fault of it vpon thee where it is notâ— and not vpon our selues where indeed it is O ler this folly also be far from vs for thou art iust O my Lord and thy iudgments are equity how hidden soeuer thy meaning in them be to our souls I for my part desire to adore thee in al thou disposest and do most gladly acknowledg that al
thou hast made is good if it be put for that vse â—or which thou madst it Do not we see that euen Spiders and Serpents do draw the venom from the earth both for the purging it and also for a farther vse that man therof maks and yet these to our seeming are of the least worth as to good among thy creatures But it is our mis vsingâ— abusing and mis-applying thy creatures that makes the world turn vpside down The hail thunder storms rain snow did the three Children in the furnace inuite to praise thee as good in themselues being made by thee But nothing is so good in this world but it may be peruerted and abused For if man whose soul was made by thee in such purity by sin becometh so foul how can this choose but breed disorder in the world al things therein being giuen by thee to be disposed by him and vsed by him as â—â—lpâ— to â—â—rue thee while we liue heer But ô my God I wil speak to thee and I wil cal vpon thee who art Wisedâ—m it-self If thou smile at my folly yet behold me sinner and instruct me in thy Law which is sweet aboue al delights of the world and to serue thee for loue is that which I only desire In al my miseries and afflictions of body and soul thou despisâ—st not any soul flying to thee and dilating my-self to thee I do comfort and strengthen my hart which aspireth to nothing as thou knowst by this my speaking to tâ—ee but to ease my soul by begging help of thee and declaring to thee my only friend my sins and miseries For if we fly from tâ—ee whither go we but out oâ— one darknes into another Who can discouer our wounds to vs but thy-fâ—lf who when we acknowledge them dost also cure the languishing diseases of our very souls O in thy light let me see light that so al impâ—diments may be remoued between thy Godnes and my souâ— My â—oul can neuer return to thee til it â—e purged and purifyed by graceâ—nd â—nd Mercy Of my-self I can do nothing Thou therefor that madst and redeemedst me saue me who euery moment should perish if I were not assisted by thee I see nothing or hear any thing but it giueth me new cause to praise thee and to seek thee aboue al gifts graces and creatures Grant me therefor to serue thee in that maner thou wouldst be serued by meâ— For I am not able to do any thing good of my self Let me by Humility and truâ— obedience return to thee from whom for my sins I deserue to be separated with the diuels eternally but thy Mercy which is aboue al thy works pardon me and giue me Grace to liue better heerafter O my God me thinks some times I haue so liuely a feeling of my own nothing and see so plainly that we depend wholy of thy grace and Mercy that I wonder how it is possible I should anâ— more be able to presume of my-self in any thing whatsoeuer But alas this passeth away and like dust carried away with the winde so is my soul with vanity In which my sin and misery I groan to thee from the bottom of my soul who art my helper and my deliuerer from al mine enemies wherof the greatest is my self and to thee I declare my iniquities which are without end or measure to the end I may glorify thee the more who shewest mercy to me and reiectest not the most disloyal of al thy Maiesties seruants For which let heauen and earth praise thee seeing I am not able by any thing to shew gratitude to thee For I caÌ„ do nothing but declare thy Mercy and beseech thysâ—lf to supply my defect in praising thee For thou only canst do it as I desire it should be done The very Seraphins are too short of being able according to thy worth to praise thee and al thy Angels and â—aints accompt themselues as dumb in comparison of thy deserts from them For al thy sweet Mercy be thou thereâ— for by al not as able but as willing to praise tâ—ee magnifyed for euer and euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O My Lord and my God If none haue much forgiuen them but those that loue much what wil become of me This day we read in our Office that Saint Marie Magdalen coming to thy feet which she watered with her reares heard that comfortable answer from thee to wit Go in peace thy sinnes are forgiuen thee but it was out of this regard that she loued much This answer thou madst to her whose hart in silence spoak vnto thee doth much comfort my sinful soul. But yet when I remember how void I am of that which was the necessary disposition for her soul to hear those comfortable words thy sins are forgiuen thee go in peace it draweth teares â—rom mine eyes to see how far my soul is destitute of that pure loue which preuaileth with thy diuine Maiesty What shal I say What shal I do Or wherein shal I hope I am not fit to plead for my-self my sinnes indeed are so many and so great and as for the loue which only thou desirest behold my soul is destitute of it For if I haue any towards thee my God it is but a sensible childish loue which is a loue little beseeming the bestowing vpon such a God who is al Good Beawty Wisedom yea euen Goodnes and Loue it-self to whom is due a loue which is able to suffer al things for this loue is a strong loue more strong then death it-self the which kind of loue is far from me who am blown down with the least blast of temptation and cannot endure any disgrace desolation or difficulty whatsoeuer as it beseems a true louer of his But notwithstanding my poueâ—ty and misery yet I wil hope in him and wil approach to his feet who is Mercy itself There my Lord and my God I wil in filence sigh and weep both for my sinnes and for my defect in louing thee who art worthy of al loue and Praise whatsoeuer There I wil beg this loue so much to be desired There I wil wish and long for itâ— and from thy feet I wil not depart til thou denounce to me thy sins are forgiuen thee and saiest to my soul go in peace This voice I long to hear in my hart that I may with the voice of exaltation praise thee for euer Amen THE LIII CONFESSION AMen Amen dico vobis quia receperunt mercedem suam Math. 6. Amen Amen I say â—nto you they haue receiued their reward These thy words my Lord and my God come into my mind so often as my thoughts dare to think of hauing deserued any reward at tâ—y hands and serue as a motiue to subiect my soul totally to thy diuine Maiesty before whom now I do professe and acknowledg that my desirs and endeauours are so defectiue in comparison of what is to thee due from me that I may and
do euen say to my soul Peace be humble and subiect in al to thy God whom thou art not worthy so much as to name with thy defiled mouth Indeed my Lord whose power and Maiesty prostrate I acknowledg and adoreâ— with al mine hart and soul if I should neither in this nor in the next world receaue any other reward but what already thou hast bestowed on me which I haue I must needs conâ—esse receaued gratis of thy Mercy without any desert of mine owne yet that which tâ—ou hast so already done for me is sufficient to declare to Heauen and earth the superaboundance of thy mercy and clemency to a sinful and contempâ—tible creature I wil there for sing vnto thee mercy and iudgment al the days of my life wishing always that thy wil which is Iustice it-selâ—â— may be wholy and perfectly accomâ—plishâ—d in me thy sinful seruant Let me liue as-long as it pleaseth thee or dy in the very beginning of these my desires to loue send sicknes or health suddain or lingring death pouerty or aboundance good fame or that I be by al the world despised and in fine in al do with me as it is most for thine honour For in this I plaâ—e al my comfort and happines faithfully to serue thee and to be little or great in thine eyes as seemeth best to thee For I accompt it a sufficient reward for al that euer I shal be able to do or suffer that thou hast admitted me vnworthy wretch into a place of liuing where I may know and euen see with mine eyes how to serue and please thee this I say is more then can be deserued by me For to serue thee is an honour aboue al that can be imagined by me yet without any regard of recompence it is due to thee that I serue and loue thee with al the forces of my body and soul which grant I may now begin to do and perseuer therin til my end that I may for thy own sake obtain the happines eternally to praise thee O remoue al impediments between my soul and thee Let me dy to al created things that I may liue alone to theeâ— O let al creatures be to me as if they were not to the end I may more fully attend to thee in the bottome of my soul where I wil in silence harken to thee Speak Peace to my soul that I may be capable of thy voice more sweet then al things whatsoeuer Speak to my hart but speak so as I may hear thee Teach me how to practise to thy honour those diuine vertues which make souls so pleasing to thee to wit Charity Humility Obedience Patience and Discretion which iudgeth between custome and true reason between opinion and thy true Iustice which manifesteth it self to those souls who seek only to loue and praise thee THIS pious soul hauing written thus far went no farther being surprised with a bodily indisposition vpoâ— the 29. or 30. of Iuly 1633. which proued to be hâ—r last sicknes that brought her to a happy death vpon the 17. of August following The last of these Confessions saue one she began as there appeareth vpon S. Mary Magdalens day being the 22. of Iuly next bâ—fore her death HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Sentences and Sayings of the same pious Soul found in some others papers of hers THE interior or Spiritual disposition os man is of that great and infinit worth and moment that so it be wel al other matters wil also go wel and be in good plight And the good state of the interior and therby also of the exterior proceedeth from the harkning to and following of the Diuine interior Cal or inspiration the which to a â—oul capable of an internal life is or ought to be as al in al. And wo to such a soul who ouercome by threats or perswaâ—ions from without or by temptations within her or other occasions whatsoeuer gâ—ueth ouer her prosecution of Mental prayer by meanes wherof only is she capable of discerning and following the diuine wil and Cal. And therefor ô you souls that are capable of internal prayer do you accordingly prosecute it and be grateful to God for the grace of it For it causeth the greatest happines that is to be gotten in this liâ—e and an answarable happines in the future For by it in this life one passeth through al things how hard and paineful soeuer they be By it we become familiar euen with God him-self and to haue our conuersation in Heauen By it al impediments wil be remoued between God and the soulâ— By it you shal receaue light and grace for al that God would do by you By it we shal come to regard God in al things and profitably neglect our selues By it we shal know how to conuerse on earth without prâ—iudice to our souls And in fine by it we shal praise God and become so vnited to him that nothing shal be able to separate vs for time or eternity from his sweet Goodnes And let him be al in al to vs who only can satisfy our souls He is his own Praise iâ— which and by wâ—ich we are infinitly happy though of our selues we aâ—e able to praise and loue him but in a very poore maner who can say that desire nothing but to loue and praise him that they are poor seeing he who is more theirs then they are their owne is so rich ond to whom nothing is wanting that should make him an infinit happines in this let vs ioy in this iet vs glory without intermission when we are not able to attend vnto him and praise him as we would let vs commend our hart and soul to the Saints in Hâ—auen who without ceasing praise our Lord Let vs do that by them which we are not able to do by our selues yea let vs desire him who is his own praise and only is able to do it as he dâ—serueâ—h to haue it done to supply what he desireâ—h we should wish him Lâ—t vs sâ—ek no other coÌ„foâ—t but to be able without al comfort to be true to him Let vs rest in him alone and and not in any thing that is or can be creaâ—ted Let vs not seâ—ke the gist but the giuer O hoW little is al the loue we can giue him in comparison of that he deserueth from vs where therefâ—r shal thâ—re be room for any created thing in out souls Let vs wish and desire and as far as it lyes in vs procure that al loue be giuen to him Let him haue al Glory al Honour and al Praise Let vs desire the fauour of none but him alone to whose free disposition let vs stand for time and eternity as absolutly by ouâ— wil as if we neuer had any other freedom of wâ—l in vs. Nothing we do or suffer let vs esteâ—me great for our sinnes deserue much more Let our whole care tend to the magnifying of him Let his honour bâ— ours and let vs seek nothing
able to resist thee in them Then their iudgment would be so cleered that they would vnderstand most hidden mysteâ—ies Then an hower of praier would instruct them more fully then fifty years study can do they hauing by the meane of such prayer in al things relation to thee the only true wisedom and in whose light only is true light to be seen By louing thee and dying to themselues in al things they would become maisters of themselues and al the world would then noâ—hing moue them nor would any thing affright them becaus thou wouldst be their stay and comfort in al things If we wil do as we ought and as is best for vs we must be subiect to the wil of God in al things without exception And this is the beâ—efit of an internal life that it makes one capable of seeing and knowing Gods wil and â—lso most ready to performe it Which way soeuer he signify it to them which makes them obey as readily and willingly meerly for Gods sake and out of obedience to him a simple or imperfect Superior as they would an Angel or the Wisest creature in the world yea if it were possible that a worme or any other creature were ordained by God to rule ouer them â—hey would with al their harts embrace his wil by them For without this total subiectâ—on to God it is impossible to become truly Spiritual For if we resist his wil in our Superiors in vaine do we pretend to please him This vertue therefor of Obedience we must learn of him the which must be grounded vpon true ' Humility that must be our stay in al things And those two vertues of Humility and Obedience together with the diuine vertue of Discretion he wil teach vs if we do our parts in seeking to become more more humble and subiect to him For seeing it is his wil we should obey and become truly Humble how can we doubt but he wil giue vs the grace if we Humbly and perseuerantly beg it of Him and practise those vertues vpon occasions as wel as we can For he himself hath saâ—d whâ—n we aske our father bread he doth not giue a stone nor if we aske him fish wil he giue a serpeâ—t much lesse wil he deny vs what is necessary to make vs pleasing to him and we seeking or desiring nothing but by true loue to be faithful to him O Praier praier able to obtaine al things O how cometh it to passe my Lord that this Oâ—â—ipotent thing â—as some of thy deare seruaÌ„ts tearme it praier should be so vnknown yea and euen to them whom thou tearmest the Salt of the earth contemned I meane Mental praier at least for the practise of poore simple women for whom they hold it aboue al things most dangerous euen to my own knowledg as I haue known affirmed by Superiors of seueral Orders O misery to be truly lamented by al that haue or may haue tast iâ— praier and by the effect thereof know how sweet a thing it is to attend only and wholy to the praise and loue of Goâ— Surely the want of the wisedom which by praier the Saints did gaine is the cause why cústome and opinion do take place for the most part in this world of true reason Surely neuer was the world reformed of its sins and errours but it must be by the wisedom which cometh from God and is farre different From that which is accounted Wisedom by the world which as S. Paul saith is folly before God CERTAIN OTHER DEVOtions of the same deuot Soul D. Gertrude More which she left written in her Breuiary In the fore part of her Breuiary she had framed and written the ensuing praier for her due performance of the diuine Office viz Al you that blesse our Lord exalt him al you can for he is greater then al your praises OMNIS SPIRITVS LAVDET Dominum Let euery spirit praise the Lord. AND I â—hy poore creature who am not worthy to name thee my Lord my God and al my good do heer in the preâ—sence of al thy Celestial Court desire 〈◊〉 peâ—form this my Office with al diligenâ—â— and with an amourous affections towards thee my â—oâ— who hast imposâ—d this sweet and most to be desired obligation vpon me sinner who doth not deserue any such honour or comfort from thee as to be admitted to ioine my cold and frozen praises with al those who praise thee either on earth or in heauen where al to my comfort do without ceasinâ— continually praise thee And for what is wanting in me for the performance thereof as I should and ought to do supply it out of the superaboundance of thâ— merits and mercâ— I desire to say it with al my hart according to the intention of our holy Mother the Catholick Church of which I desire through thy grace to liue and dy a true member be thâ—u according to her desir Adored Blessed Magnified and supreamly Superexalted by â—t Let it be to the honour of thy al Immaculaâ—e Mother the Lady and Queen of Angels and Saints to these in a particular maner â— viz to my good Angel our most holy Father S. Benet S. Scholastica S Ioseph S. Peter and S. Paul S. Iohn Enangelist S. Iohn Baptist S. Thomas and my deare S. Augustin S. Mary Magdalen S. Gertrude and in fine al that are in Heauen haue by it to them exhibited by thee what thou willest and desirest should be I beseech thee also that I may by it pray to thee or al afflicted pained tempted and troubled that they may please and praise thee in those their miseries and ouercome them to their comfort and thy glory I also offer to thy sweet Mercy al those souls who by deadly sin are enemies to thee which is indeâ—d the misery of miseries O lét them return to thee wâ—o art our beginning and the true Center of our souls from whom to be separated by sin â—s a most greiuous hel and to whom to be vnited by grace is a most sweet Heauen Conuert therefor and recal those souls to thee for whom â—hou spaâ—edst not â—hy most pretious Bloud shedding it to the very last drop for vs finners I offer thee also my Parents who haue placed me heer in thy house where here I may euen heare and see how to serue thee and where I may night and day attend to thee and praise thee my amiable and most to be desired beloued whom to serue and to be obliged to loue is the only happines in this world and to whom to be tyed by vowes and other obligations of Religion is a most sweet seruitude and yoâ—e and so sweet that no liberty is to it to be compared I offer thee also our holy Congregationâ— and al that euer or shal desire my poore vnworthy prayers and aboue al I offer thee al those in earth or Purgatory which thy diuine Maiesty would haue me pray for to thee beseeching thee that tâ—y Diuine
vnto thee who art my hope from my youâ—h and am displeased with my-self for hauing been so vngrateful to thy sweet mercy acknowledging before Heauen aâ—d earth that nothing is iust but that which thou disposest and nothing is wel done saue so far as it is done by thee so much as any thing I do or say is only of mine own wil and desire so far it iustly deserueth punishment to thee be al glâ—ry In nothing is true Peace but in seekâ—ng after God aâ—one and in resting â—n him aboue al his giâ—ts O my God when shal I be able to say Quis me separabit à Charitate Dei VVho shal separate me from the Charity of God O when shal I by true loue become vnited to thee the only desire of my hart and soul Vsquequo Domine obliuisceris me in finem Vsquequo auertis faciem tuam à me How long wilt thou forget me vnto the end Hâ—w long doth thou turn away thy face from me wilt thou for euer be angry with thy poor seruant Behold thou knowst I desire no other comfort vpon earth then to be able without offending thee to liue without al comfort human or diuine O how litâ—le to be esteemed is al the solaces this world can afford The wicked haue been telling me of their delights but they are not like those of thy Law What comfort can any creature lâ—uing afford a soul that sigheth and longeth after thee alone my God and is bannished from the beloned of her soul Verily my God it is only thy-self that can reioyce and comfort such a soul thou only art sweet and al things compared to thee are as nothing and lesse then nothing O my Lord and my God tel me is there any thing in Heauen or on Earth that can satisfy my soul besids thee No certainly Why then dost thou permit me thus to wander from thee who art only worthy to be desired and beloued by my soul O my most deare God who can comprehend the misery that soule suffereth that taketh comfort or desireth any comfort from any creature O how long shal I be subiect to this mysery of inordâ—natly louing thy creatures so that it is an impediment to the louing of thee my Creator who art the supreame Good To thee alone is al loue due and we do steal from thee when our affection is willingly caried to any thing els whatsoeuer O my God my Mercy let vs loue thee as thy diuine Maiesty who art Lord of al things in whose power al things do stand let me I say loue thee as thou wouldst be beloued by me O my Lord as-long as the peace of my soul dependeth of men I can neuer repose in thee or â—ind thee in the bottom of my soul What came I into Râ—ligion â—or but to loue and praise my God my Lord and al my good O when shal I as I desire loue thee and please thee my God and al my desire O my God how cometh it to passe that thou whose mercies are super omnia opera eius Aboue al his works shouldst be now tearmed to be terrible and hard to be pleased Verily I am a sinner and the greatest of al sinners and yet I haue found thee so good and easily pleased that nothing is more pleasant then to serue thee for loue and to beare thy yoke from our youth The yoke of sin is heauy but thine is sweet aboue a the contâ—ntments and pleasures of this world Let those that seek not thee and that desire any thing willingly but thee feare and return to theâ— but let the harts of them that loue thee reioice O Lord. But can I say I loue Verily not I. But shal I for this feareâ— No my God at least not so as to loose confidence which hath in it a great remuneration For seeing by thy grace I desire to loue and to leaue al for loue I wil hopâ— in thy Mercâ— let it assist my extreame frailty anâ— pouerty Of my-self I am nothing but in thy power I shal be able to do al things Thou knowst that I desire to leaue al for thy sake and that if I knew any thing that I loued to the impediment â—of my truly seruing thee it would be so greâ—t a gâ—eif to my soul that nothing in Heauen or earth could comforâ— me til I see my-self freed from that miserable bondage by thy aâ—â—isting Graceâ— which I implore from the bottom of my soul Set me free I mosâ— humbly beseech thee by the multitude oâ— thy Mercies from the sinnes into which I daily fal through my frailty remoue al impedâ—ments between my soul and thee for I am frail aboue al measure Let me liue to thee dying to al other things whatsoeuer Let me find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul Let al creatures be â—ilent that thou alone maist be heard by me And I wil not trouble my-self with them without who are puffing and blowing and thereby raising vp the dust of multiplicity into their own and others eyes Let me enter into the most retired place of my soul and sing loue songs to thee my Al and only Good regarding thee with the simple eye of my soul and sighing out certaâ—n vnspeakabe groans in this pilgrimage of mine into the eares oâ— the only beloued of my hart and soul wo is me that euer I offended such a God! Be propitious O Lord vnto my sin for it is great O Mercy which hath neither end nor measure haue pitty on me and forgiue me my sins Amen God! Let thy Truth and not the blindnes of my own ignorance speak to me Speak Lord for thy seruant heareth or at least desireth to hear thee Behold I set open the eares of my soul that I mny heare my beloued speak Iustice and Peace to my hart For thy voice is sweet and thy face comely and there is none like vnto thâ—e in Beawty and wisedom Thou my God the repose of my labour the ioy of my soul and the comfort of my hart Be to me al in al and aboue al which can be enioyed ot desired Let me O let me rest in thee and in no created thing whatsoeuer Simplify my soul that it may be able to adhere to thee my God transcending al created things O when shal my soul forget al and only be mindful of thee the most pure spirit resting in thee aboue al thy Graces and Gifts O when shal I be by profound Humility reduced to the nothing which only makes a a soul capable of thee who art al good things who art that simple good in which nothing is wanting How long shal I glory in any created thing and seek my-self to the dishonour of him with out whom I could neither haue life nor being much lesseâ— to be able without him to do any thing meriting grace and Saluation O my God when wilt thou set me free that I may glory in thee alone and not by pride exalt
for thy abominable sins Giue al Glory vnto him with out whom thou couldst not so much as-haue a being My God be thou Adored and Exalted by al who art Blessed for euer and euer Amen Thou O sweet Iesu hast pronounced with thine own blessed mouth these words Consueor tibi Pater Domine Caeli terrae quia abscondisti haec à sapientibus prudentibus reâ—elasÌ„ti â—ae parâ—ulis Ita Paeter quoniam sic placitum fuit ante te I confesse to thee Father Lord of Heauen and Earth that thou hast hid these from the wise and prudâ—nt and reuealod them to little ones Yea Father for so it wel pleased thee These are the souls to whom thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light these obserue and see in the light of thy truth that al thou dost or ordainest is iust and true and that it is our sin and ignorance only that peruerteth the order of thy Iustice. O let vs crie out to thee and prepare our souls that in thy light we may see light For it is not human wisedom or knowledg that wil serue our turn to find out thee in the bottome of our soul for which we were created and for which our soul hath such a capacity that the very Angels are amazed to see so great an honour and fauour to be offered and bestowed vpon so poor and frail a creature and yet that we should turn a deaf eare to our beloued who saieth his delight is to be with the children of men O how pittifully doth this most sweet and merciâ—ul God of ours lament our losse and misery of loosing that happines of enioying him in our souls in an exâ—raordinary maner yea euen in this lifeâ— if we did not cast away our loue and affect on vpon created things neglecting and forgetting the noble capacity wherewith the hath most bountifully endued our souls Hear therefor what he sayeth by his Prophet Be ye astonished O Heauens vpon this and the gates thereof be ye extreamly desolate vpon it for two euils hath my people done viz. They haue left and forsaken me the Fountain of liuing water and haue digged for themselues cesternes Cesterns that are broken that are not able to hold waters O wo is me my God that I should thus haue â—orsaken thee Whaâ— meaneth this thy great Mercy I should haue lamented mâ—ne own misery of not only neglecting to seeke after thee alone but also of most miserably offending thee infinit waâ—es and thou bemoanedst my case as if some preiudice were therby to come to thee O what wouldst or couldst thou loose by my not being so happy as truly to seek after thy loue truly nothing seeing thy Glory cannot be added to or diminishâ—d by my misery But thy infinit Charity which brought â—hee into the world to suffer and dy for me is the reason of thy merâ—fful calling vpon my poor soul to which thou hast said I wil not the the death of a sinner but rather that he be conuerted and liue In the hope of this promise I fly to thee Thou who art able to do al thâ—ngs helpe me that can do nothing Thou knowst I haue placed al my hope and comfort in thee alone and that I deâ—est al that is in me which is displeasing in thine eyes Far be it from me to haue any other intention in any thing I do or omit but simply to please thee I renounce al inordinate affection to al created things whatsoeuer and whatsoeuer I do that is not done sincearly for thy loue and honour I most willingly submit my-self to any punishment thy iust and Merciful Iustice shal lay vpon me Giue what â—hou commandst and then exact what thou pleasest O my God is it much I serue thee whom al the world is bound to serue O what is more sweet then to serue thee for loue without any pretence of our own commodity for time or eternity Truly in this lyeth hidden the greatest comfort that a soul banished from thee is capable of receauing To â—hee who art the supreame and only true Good by al creatures be al Praise eternally giuen Amen This which next of al followeth she there writ as taken out of S. Augustin viz. I was not acquainted with that true interior Iustice which iudgeth not by custome but by the righteous Law of Almighty God O My God apâ—d te est fons viâ—ae in lumine tuo videbimus lumen Qui sequitur me non ambulat in tenebris With thee is the fountain of life in thy light we shal see light who followeth me walketh not in darknes and they that walke not in thy light can neuer iudg of things according to thy iustice but iudge according to custome or their own sense This true light is thy gift and Grace which thou only impartest in aboundance to tâ—e meek and humble of hart and to those who endeauour to regard and seek thee alone in al their actions in simplicity and sincerity of hart and who intend thee only in al they do or omit Vnderneath the picture there annexed of saint VVilliam Duke of Aquitain she had written as followeth viz. O my God through the meâ—its and intercession of this most glorious Saint be merciful to me sinner and giue me grace to loue and praise thee with al my soul and strength and neither for time or eternity to seek or desire any thing but only thy-self alone simply and purely by sincere and perfect loue resting in thee my God aboue al gifts and creatures and Adoring thee who art God Blessed for euer and euer Amen Amen Mans life on earth is a continuall warfar and liuing but a short time he is replenished with many miseries VVatch therefor and pray that you enter not into temptation By Humility and Praier we shal be able to passe through any difficulties To the image of death there annexed together with other enseiâ—nes of death she added these following words viz. O how little to be esteemed or desired is al that passeth away with time Thus far of her Deuotions written by her in her Breuiary within ihe year before she dyed HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Deuotions of the same pious soul D. Gertrude More A short Oblation of this smal work by the writer gatherer thereof to our most sweet and Merciful God MT GOD to thee I dedicate This simple work of mine And also with it hart and soul To be for euer thine No other motiue wil I haue Then by it thee to praise And stir vp my poor frozen soul By loue it-self to raise O I desir neither tongue nor pen But to extol Gods praise In which exces â—le melt away Ten thousand thousand waysâ— And as one that is sick with loue Engraues on euery Tree The Name and Praise of him she loues So shal it be with me IF the glorious light of thy Church Saint Augustin whose hart was so inflamed with loue that the whole world was a witnes thereof
of my death obtain for me wretched sinner confidence in his Mercies which are as thou knowst aboue al his works I am not worthy to loue but he is worthy of al loue and Adoration I cannot without great ioy remember these following words of the Prophet I saie hoping his Goodnes wil for his own sake giue me leaue to apply them to me poor and sinful soul though I desetuâ— nothing of my-self neuer hauing done him any faithful seruice in al my life Chap 43. v. 1. And now thus saith our Lord that created thee and formed thee Feare not because I haue redeemed thee and called thee by thy name Thou art mine 2. When thou shalt passe through the waters I wil be with thee and the flouds shal not couer thee when thou shalt walke in fire thou shalt not be â—uâ—ned and the flame shal not â—urn inâ— thee O blessed Saint make intercession for me that I may be confident in him who thus aboundeth with Mercy Amen 3. Because I am the Lord thy God the Holy one of Israel thy Sauiour 4. Since thou becamest honourable in mine eyes and glorious I haue loued thee 5. Feare not becaus I am with thee 6. And euery one that inuocateth my name for my glory I haue created him formed him and made him 8. Bring forth the blind people and hauing eyes the deaf and he that â—ath eares 9. Let them giue their witnes be iustified 10. In very deed you are my witnes saith our Lord and my seruants whom I haue chosen that you may know and beleeve me and vnderstand that I my self am 11. I am I am the Lord and there is no Sauiour beside me and there is not that can deliuer out of my hand 16. Thou saith our Lord that gaue away in the Sea and a paâ—h in the vâ—hâ—menâ— waters 18. Remember not former things and looke not on things of old I am he that takes cleane away thine iniquities for mine own sake and I wil not remember thy sins 26. Bring me into remembrance and let vs be iudged together Tel me if thou â—aue any thing that maiest be iustified Hethertho the words of the Prophet I saie S. Iohn 2. v. 12. I writ to you litle children becaus your sins are forgiuen you for his name And now my children abid in him that when he shal appeare we may haue confidence and not be confounded of him in his coming My dearest beleeue not euery spirit and euery spirit that dissolueth Iesus is not of God Feare is not Charity but perfect Charity casteth out feare Let vs therefore loue God becaus God loued vs. This is the Charity of God that we keep his Commandments and his Commandments are not beauty O infinit Goodnes who art Charity it-self powre thy Grace aboundantly into my poor foul I inuoke thee my God by the merits and intercession of al thy Saints in Heauen and seruants on earth to haue mercy on me now in this my last extreamity Al I desire is that in life and death I may be disposed of according to the multitude of tâ—y most aboundant Mercies a fountain neuer drawn dryâ— Al my ioy is in that thou art my God and that I am at thy disposing Though I am poor in al vertnes yet I am confident to be partaker of thy Merits ó sweet Iesus which thou liberally bestowest according to thy wil and pleasure O be thou blessed in al thou disposest O my God who art al I desire Into thy hands I commend my spirit who art blessed for euer Amen The most learned of D. S. Augustin saith Aiâ— eruditissimus Doctorum Augustinus O eternal Truth and true Charity and O aeterna veritas vera Charitas Deare Eternity Thou art my God to thee chara Eteruitas Tu es Deus meus I suspire day and night This is that subliue Tibi suspiro die ac nocte Hic est sublimis ille Contemplatiue Augustine Contemplator Augustinus Cuius cor Charitas Christi vulneraueraâ— whose hart the Charity of Christ had wounded O my deare Saâ—nt whose great Humility I can neuer to much praise and admire pray for her to whom thou hast been in her greatest afflictions and miâ—eries euen as a Father and Mother for which be exhibited honouur to thee by the most sweet hart of IESVS our Sauior the Son of the liuing God by which and from which doth most aboundant sweetnes flow to al the elect In the power that he gaue thee being one by whom he bound and loosed sinners giue an aboundant benediction to thy poore seruant and beg of my God that I may neuer seek or intend any thing for time or eternity but his honour and Glory and that I may so humble and subiect myself vnder his mighty hand thaâ— for his loue I may willâ—ngly submit my-self in what maner he pleases to al creatures Let me commit and commend my-self to thy protection who art a careful receauer of al my petitions and who art one who in a most particular maner Godâ— hath giuen me confidence in in al â—he necessities wherein my soul doth stand need of an Aduocat and friend O happy change to leaue al friends on earth to find the more certaiu assured friends and Intercessors in Heauen who are neuer absent neuer vncertain nor euer do they fail as those in this world are subiect to do Be therefor mindful of me I beseech thee in my life also in my last extremity and remember that when affrighted with the multitude and greiuoushes of my sinnes and imperfections I durst scarsely cast vp mine eyes to Heauen or cal vpon God and his Blessed Mother who might iustly disdain so vngrateful and contemptible a creature Yet by thy meanes and being incouradged by thy example and reading thy life and books so ful of Conâ—idence and sweetnesâ— I found my hart lightned and my spiâ—it refreshed and my soul exceedingly comforted finding in thee and by thee expressed what a good God we haue and that as his Mercies are aboue al his works so he is able to forgiue more then we can offend Thou knowest thy very name when I am sad and afflicted doth refresh me to behold it and seemeth to smile vpon me in my miseries assuring me of â—hy helpe in al my soul standeth need of thee in this my pilgrimage and ban shment from my God who is my only loue life desire and al my happines Tâ— whom for euer be al Glory Honour anâ— Adoâ—ation by al as wel on earth as in Heaâ—enâ— and whom by his sweet Mercy and thy intercession I desire and hope to loue and sâ—rue for euer and euer Amen Omnes qui habebant infirâ—os ducebant illes ad Iesum sanabaâ—â—ur Al that had diseased brought thâ—m to Iesus and they were curedâ— To whom therefor should I fly in my manifold infirmities but to thee my Iesus my Goâ— and my Sauiour Who is worthy oâ— our loues our thoughts our harts and our souls but