and naked When the Israëlites were to give an offering to the Lord to make an atonement for their soules Ex 30.15 the rich were not to give more nor the poore to give lesse then halfe a shekel If God should require so much at my hands I should be apt to pleade the want of money or if I had so much I feare that I should appeare too unwilling to spare it But all coveteousnesse is a distrust of providence and either denyeth the power or questioneth the will of the greate disposer Hee provided for the poorest Israëlite on him therfore must I depend for reliefe comfort Something hee require's that I should offer unto him I have nothing of the world's All that I can offer is but my selfe and certainly my selfe shall be best accepted If I can but present him an honest heart it matter 's not how hungry or thirstie or cold or naked the body is which conteineth that heart Iob. 34.19 Hee accepteth not the persons of Princes nor regardeth the rich more then the poore for they all are the worke of his hands The rich may offer to him of their aboundance Mar 12 44. but I of my want will give him my heart which is all that I have Peradventure hee will say of mee vers 43 as hee did once of the widdow This poore woman hath cast more in then all they that have cast into the treasurie Thus if I sieke the Lord I cannot want for so the Prophet telleth mee Ps 34.10 The young Lyons doe lack and suffer hunger but they that sieke the Lord shall not want any good thing Saint Paul assureth mee saying 1. Cor 3.22 Whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or things present or things to come vers 23 all are yours and yee are Christ's and Christ is God's And now what can I feare Whereat can I be displeased God is mine and I am his For what hee giveth mee I will be thankfull whatsoever earthly thing hee depriveth mee of I will be contented This poverty will not endure for ever If it continueth while I live yet it must end when I die that blessed time draweth neerer and neerer every moment I am assured of a deliverance I must attend with patience Afflicted Iob doe's certainly assure mee that Iob. 36.15 God delivereth the poore in his affliction and openeth their eares in oppression The same God promised to Tzion saying I will abundantly blesse her provision Ps 132.15 I will satisfie her poore with bread The Psalmist refresheth mee with unspeakeable comfort when hee telleth mee that Ps 9.18 Ps 72.12 The needy shall not allways be forgotten the expectation of the poore shall not perish for ever The Lord shall deliver the needy when hee cryeth the poore allso and him that hath noe helper Hee will defend the poore Ps 82.3 and fatherlesse hee will doe justice to the afflicted and needy Ps 140.12 Hee will maintaine the cause of the afflicted and the right of the poore Thus am I promised and thus shall it be performed It is noe new thing with God to take pitty upon the distressed The Prophet Isaiah saith unto him Thou hast beene a strength to the poore Is 25.4 a strength to the needy in his distresse a refuge from the storme a shadow from the heate Ps 34.6 This poore man cryed saith David and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles Againe Hee raiseth up the poore out of the dust Ps 113.7 Ps 10.14 Heb. 13 5. and lifteth the needy out of the dung-hill Therfore I resolve that I will commit my selfe unto him for hee is the helper of the friendlesse Hee hath promised that hee will never leave nor forsake them that trust in him Parents are commonly indulgent to their children yet because their naturall affection is possible to be quenched therfore say's the Psalmist When my father and my mother forsake mee Ps 27.10 then the Lord will take mee up I will therfore begge seing now I am poore I will begge of God because hee is rich I will begge of God to keepe mee to love mee to blesse mee that so I may never forsake my dependance on him nor hee his love and compassion to mee Earnestly will I besiech him and confidently will I resolve Rom 8 38. that Neither death nor life nor Angells nor principalities nor powers nor things present vers 39. nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other creature shall ever be able to separate mee from the love of God which is in Iesus Christ our Lord. The Prayer FAther of pitties Lord of comfort thou that hearest the cryes of the afflicted Iob. 34.28 Ps 32.4 looke downe in mercy on a distressed sinner Thy hand ô God is heavy upon mee for thou hast taken from mee what I called mine by reason that I did not acknowledg it thine ô Lord thou knowest my bleeding heart my sorrowfull eyes and my mournfull teares Thou seest how poore I am and what miseries I suffer Ps 44.13 I am a scorne to my neighbours and a derision to them that are round about mee My life is become a burden unto mee because thou hast deprived mee of the comforts thereof My lovers Ps 38.11 and mine acquaintance stand looking upon my miserie and my kinsmen stand a farre off Lord if it be thy pleasure thus to humble mee with poverty let it be thy goodnesse to give mee patience to endure it The pride of my heart and my forgetfullnesse of thee in the time of plenty did cry aloud for thy severest punishments Now ô now I feele thy just displeasure and I groane under the burden and weight thereof Yet thou Lord canst ease mee thou canst restore mee Heare Lord and have mercy Lord Ps 30.10 be thou my helper Suffer mee noe more to rely upon the arme of flesh 1. Tim 6.17 or to put my trust in un-certaine riches but make mee for ever depend upon thy bounty Forgive mee ô father the sinnes which I committed when I lived in prosperitie Ps 30.7 for I am sensible that they are a cause why at this time thou hidest thy face from mee and causest mee to be troubled O give mee a sight and sense of the greatnesse of them and true contrition and sorrow for them that so though the world forsake mee yet I may find favour and mercy in thy sight Without thy assistance this sore burden is too heavy for mee to beare Ps 38.4 Lord either remove it from mee or make it easier for mee Lend mee thy gratious and helping hand Ps 23.4 that as I am scourged with thy rod so I may leane upon thy staffe Let mee never despaire of thy comfortable reliefe but in all my miseries be thou my refuge Be pleased to endue mee with patience from above that I may give noe
my raging out-cryes which have given an evill example of impatience unto others a scandall to â—…y religion It was thy pleasure to free mine â—nfant from the tyrannie of sinne it was thy â—ove it was thy mercy to take him that so hee â—ight sinne noe more Lord unto thy will 〈◊〉 submit my will and for thy love for thy mercy for thy goodnesse I praise thee I blesse â—hee I magnifie thee my Lord and my God Vipe I besiech thee from mine eyes all eares of discontent remove from mine heart he excesse of sorrow and make mee walke in â—…y vocation with cheerefullnesse and in my â—eligion with setlednesse resolution The â—ortalitie of my child hath taught mee the â—…ailty even of my selfe graunt therfore blesâ—ed God that the longer I live the better I may â—…ow both in grace and goodnesse that so when his painfull life shall have an end I may â—eete thee my God with comfort thee my Iesus with joy and rejoycing and my deceased child together with the rest of the quire of Saints with heavenly Halelujahs and sing praise Reu. 5.13 and honour and glory unto thee who sittest upon the throne and to the Lamb for ever mere Amen subject 18 THE EIGHTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a wife for the sicknesse of her husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lordâ— consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray LOrd how various is the condition of mortalls Sometimes wee are sick and sometimes wee are well Sometimes in sicknesse wee draw neere to the grave and sometimes againe wee are in hope of recoverie T is thus ô 't is thus with my dearest husband Hee who was my comfort and joy in his health is now my griefâ— and sorrow in his sicknesse The extreamitie oâ— his anguish enforceth my teares and those conflicts of his betweene life and death doe pierce mee even to the soule I am mee thinks so divided in my teares that I cannot well determine whether the greatest number of them â—re shed for the torments which hee suffereth â—r for the losse of mine owne content or for the â—aines which love and loyaltie enforce mee to â—ake or for feare of his departure All of them â—ow from the springs of love and are readie â—o convert mee into a gliding streamâ—… When Eve was arraigned for enticing her 〈…〉 â—o the act of disobedience Gen 3.16 it was part of her â—unishment that her desire should be subject â—nto her husband and hee should rule over her Mee think's I could be well contented to under goe this servitude so that my husband might not under-goe this sicknesse Alas his â—isease is growne so violent that it even darkeâ—eth his reason and maketh him desire hee knoweth not what I would gladly obey him â—n whatsoëver hee commandeth but that I must not yeeld unto all his desires in this time of his weakenesse I must now obey the Physitian 's order and follow those directions which hee prescribeth O the miserie of sicknesse which so enfeebleth the braine that it un-man's a husband and pretendeth to free the wife from the yoke of obedience Now my desires must not be subject to my deerest husband if hee requireth that which may hinder his recovery yet howsoever my desires shall be for him when they may not be to him for I will begge of the Lord to ease him of his miserie and to restore him to health O mee think's I am not as I should be because I want the comfort and direction of my head Hee poore man iâ— growne as feeble by sicknesse as I am by sexe and allthough the torment be his yet the sorrow is mine When I remember the unâ—kindnesse of the Amalekite to his sick servant I cannot choose but wonder at the greatnesse of the inhumanitie 1. Sam. 30.13 The master left his sick Egyptian when the enemie pursued as if it hâ—d beene a high offence to want his health Io sicknesse wee have a certaine tryall of a friend Hee that onely affecteth us in health leaveth us in weakenesse is but a pretender to friendship and truely loveth us not O who would leave a languishing man that knoweth not how to helpe himselfe Mee think's I rejoyce though in my greatest perplexitie that God-hath given mee both power and abilitie to comfort my deerest I howerly visit him though not without teares and when I most endeavour to be a comforter unto him even then alas I am enforced to weepe Thus his very potiens are mixed with the drops that distill from mine eyes and at every turne I am so sensible of his miserie that I doe in a manner embalme him alive with mine aboundant teares allthough I yet have hope of his recoverie 2. King 8.7 When Benhadad the King of Assyria was sick hee sent Hazaël to meete Elisha the man of God and enquire of the Lord by him saying Shall I recover of this disease vers 8. Mee think's I could gladly performe that office of Hazaël but where shall I meete with-such a Prophet as Elisha Alas it is not in the power of man to limit our times it is God alone who numbereth our dayes I must therfore leave my curiositie and submit to his pleasure And yet in my submission I cannot leave weeping for even nature alloweth mee a freedome to mourne David grieved when his very enemies were sick for so hee saith As for mee Ps 35.13 when they were sick my cloathing was sackcloth I humbled my soule with fasting How much rather may I be allowed to grieve for my friend for my husband Who knoweth but that my sinne may be the cause of his miserie By my teares of sorrow I will therfore strive to remove the cause It is in the power of my Redeemer both to forgive mee and to recover him But alas so long as hee is sick I cannot be well So long as the head is troubled the body must needs be disturbed Hee is my head and I am his glory 1. Cor. 11.3 vers 7. Alas what comfort can I receave when my head is sick What glory can hee take in the wife of his bosome when the violence of his paine depriveth him of my society But why doe I utter these words of discontent as if it were in the power of man to recover my beloved It is god alone that sendeth sicknesse and that sendeth health on him therfore alone will I depend and in him alone will I hope Saint Paul relateth that Epaphroditus was sick Phil. 2.27 nigh unto death but God saith hee had mercy on him and not on him onely but on mee allso lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow My deare husband is sick as was Epaphroditus yea and for ought that I know hee may be sick unto death too but I will trust in the Lord that hee will have mercy upon him and restore
1. King 14.18 Had not my husband beene King yet how should I forbeare the expence of a teare when death depriveth mee of the name of a wife Had hee not beene godly then the words of the Psalmist might peradventure have beene verified even of him Ps 27.15 His widow shall not weepe But ô hee was full of love and hee was truely religious for mine owne losse therfore must I freely weepe because my loving my religious husband is taken from mee Naomi requited the love of her daughters in law expressed to their dead husbands with a fervent prayer saying Ruth 1.8 The Lord deale kindly with you as yee have dealt with the dead and with mee vers 9. The Lord graunt that yee may find rest each of you in the house of her husband When the wife of Ezekiel was taken from him I doubt not but hee loved her so well that hee would have bemoaned her departure had not the Lord expressely charged him the contrarie Eze 24 16. But the Lord said unto him Sonne of man behold I take away from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroake yet neither shalt thou mourne nor weepe neither shall thy teares runne downe Forbeare to cry vers 17 make noe mourning for the dead bind the tire of thine head upon thee and put on thy shooes upon thy feete and cover not thy lipps Surely his teares were not forbidden as if it were un-lawfull to lament the dead Noe it was onely because the Lord by that figne would shew that the calamitie of the Iewes should be beyond that sorrow which enforceth a weeping But what was Ezekiel's losse in comparison of mine Hee was a man and a Prophet set over his wife to be her instructer so was mine set over mee allso but there the scholler onely departed the wife here the very Oracle is ceased my husband is gone While hee was alive my knowledg was increased for if I would have learned any thing 1. Cor 14.15 1. Pet 3 7. I could aske him at home Hee dwelt with mee according to knowledg giving honour unto mee as to the weaker vessell and as being heires together of the grace of life Eph. 5.28 1. Tim. 5.8 so that our prayers were not hindered Hee loved mee even as his owne body hee provided both for mee and mine But now alas I may live in ignorance dis-respected and un provided for none will comfort mee none will helpe mee as did my husband that 's gone Act. 5.4 Though wicked Saphira had joyned with Ananias her husband in lying unto God concerning the sale of their possession vers 5. and her husband at the words of Saint Peter fell downe and gave up the ghost and was caried out by the young men vers 6. and buried yet shee lived not long enough either to bewayle his death or to consider of her losse Shee continued a widow but about three howers space vers 7. vers 10 and then fell downe at the Apostles feete and yeelded up the ghost Shee quickly followed her husband in death who joyned in the wickednesse with him in his life Shee hastened to the grave of her departed consort as if love had forbad her to survive her husband Yet it was not love but justice which made them lye together in the silent grave since they joyned together in a lye in their lives This alas was not a testimonie of her love so quickly to follow her husband to the land of darknesse Mee think's that I could be well contented to have dyed with my husband and to be layed in the grave by his frozen body but neither would I have sinne to be the cause nor judgment the effect Why then doe I so much lament his departure whose death was full of an assurance of life and whose hope was full of immortalitie Had Saphira survived her deceased husband but so long as to have beene sensible of the manner of his death it may be imagined that shee would have sighed her selfe to the grave and even griefe alone would have joyned them in the vault of darknesse and silence But God delayed not the punishment of her who obstinately persisted in the crime of her husband Here is yet some comfort for mee in my deepe calamitie that neither my husband was guilty of the sinne of Ananias nor yet did his death come so unexpected Why then should I grieve so much for the departure of him who is gone from hence to eternall rest Hee dyed in the Lord Reu 14 13. and I cannot therfore doubt but hee is assuredly blessed Hee resteth from his labours and his workes doe follow him Why then doe I shed such an aboundance of teares as if I either distrusted his happinesse or envyed his felicity My cause is not so greate if I rightly weigh it as to cause these floods to arise in mine eyes When I thinke upon him I have reason to rejoyce both because hee is freed as well from the tyrannie of sinne as from the miserie it produceth and allso because hee is at rest in my God If I consider my selfe allso mine affliction is not so greate nor my teares so just as I doe imagine for they will prove rather an argument of my distrust in God then of my love to my husband if I give them the freedome to flow beyond moderation Hee who lent mee him can send mee another yea such a one as may deserve as well and to whom my love may be as fervent If I have lost mine estate yet I have not lost my protectour unlesse I forsake him in my distrust If I complaine for want of the joy of societie even my very thoughts so they be religions will delight mee with their companie If I want an instructer my God will be my guide If I want a comforter my God will wipe these teares from mine eyes If I want either foode or sustenance for my body Prov 15.15 yet a good conscience will prove a continuall feast My losse is not so greate as ever was sustained if I compare it with those which others have soffered Naömie's affliction was greater then mine Ruth 1 3. when not onely her husband Elimelech but allso her two sonnes Mahlon and Chilion dyed and the woman was left of her two sonnes her husband at once 1. Sam. 4.11 It was worse by farre with the wife of Phinehar then it is with mee for her husband and his brother were both slaine in one day by the Amalekites yea and that in judgment too c 3.13 even because they made themselves vile and their father restrained them not When the newes came to her that the Arke of God was taken by the un-circumcised c 4.13 that ould Eli her father in law hearing the newes that the Arke was taken and that his sonnes were slaine vers 18 fell from the seate back-ward by the side of the gate and brake his neck and
tooke with him his two Sonnes Manassâ—… Ephraim and went and visited him This visitation is a Christian duety and not to be denyed even to our enemies much lesse to out parents 2. King 13.14 When Elisha was fallen sick of his sicknesse whereof hee dyed Ioash the King of Israël went downe unto him hee wept over his face said O my father my father the charet of Israel and the horsemen thereof Lesse then this I could not doe for the Prophet was a stranger to the blood of the King and yet the King both visited and lamented the Prophet Had I beene sick and my father in health â—how would hee have wept and grieved How would hee have repaired to Phisitians â—ought for my recoverie bought it at rates â—en beyond his estate rather have chosen 〈◊〉 have led his dayes in penurie and want â—en I should have dyed for want of cost â—nd I dyed and hee sur-vived hee would have â—ourned for mee many dayes 1. Chr. 7.22 as Ephraim did 〈◊〉 his children that were slaine by the men 〈◊〉 Gath or like Iacob when hee heard â—he falle report that Ioseph was slaine hee â—ould have mourned Gen. 37 34. vers 35 and have refused to be â—…forted and peradventure hee would have â—…d I will goe downe into the grave unto my child mourning Thus ô thus my father would have grieved for mee Yea if mischiefe should have befallen mee hee would have beene as readie to have sayd as Iacob did concerning Benjamin c 42.30 My gray haires shall be brought downe with sorrow to the grave But how did I deserve this love at the hand of my father 'T is true that nature and religion did teach him to be indulgent but did both or either of them perswade mee to my duety Did I honour him according to the commandement of my God Ex. 20.12 Lev 19 3. Did I feare him according to the law divine Did I love him and that entirely and would I have beene as forward to expresse my love and respect unto him as Rahab though a harlot did manifest hers when shee convenanted with the spies 〈◊〉 cluded Ios 2.13 saying Yee shall save alive my father my mother and my brethren and my sisters 〈◊〉 all that they have and deliver our lives 〈◊〉 death Would I have beene ready to 〈◊〉 presse my love and respect unto him if 〈◊〉 had required and opportunitie and meaâ— had beene offered as David did to his â—…rens 1. Sam. 22.3 Hee went to Mizpeh of Moab and 〈◊〉 unto the King of Moab Let my father I 〈◊〉 thee and my mother come forth and be with yâ—… 'till I know what God will doe for mee 〈◊〉 ready thus to comfort him thus to relieve 〈◊〉 if neede had required and thus to provide 〈◊〉 him to the uttermost of my power Did never depart from him at any time before had craved both his leave and his blessing When Elijah passed by Elisha as hee 〈◊〉 ploughing 1. King 19.19 vers 20 and cast his mantle upon him hee leâ— the oxen indeede but hee ranne after Elijâ—… and said Let mee I pray thee kisse my father 〈◊〉 my mother and then I will follow thee Yeâ— rather on the contrarie insteed of honouring him Mat 10 35. Mich 7 6. was I not at variance against him Was I not apt to dis-honour my father and to rise up against my mother Insteed of labouring to relieve and comfort him was I not more ready to say unto him as did the Prodigall in the Gospell Lu 15.12 Father give mee the portion of the goods that falleth unto mee Certainly had not hee sinned hee could not have dyed and had not I sinned hee could not have beene seperated â—m mee My neglect of my duety did move 〈◊〉 Allmighty to take him from mee that 〈◊〉 I may at least honour the memorie of him â—…w hee is gone whom peradventure I did 〈◊〉 truely reverence and obey while hee was 〈◊〉 Now ô now is that time of heavinesse â—…en upon mee wherein I must lament 〈◊〉 Zion and cry Lam 5.3 I am an orphane and â—…erlesse my mother is a widow Now my â—…forter my defender is gone I cannot â—…ose but suspect that even Christians will â—ome as bad as were the Iewes who judged 〈◊〉 the cause the cause of the fatherlesse Ier 5.28 and yet 〈◊〉 prospered Now the curse which the Pâ—…lmist prophetically layed upon his slanâ—eâ—ous enemie I dayly feare will happen unto â—nee Ps 109.12 even that none will favour this fatherlesse â—hild Hence flow my teares hence arise â—hese mists of sighes and these clowdes of â—rrow My father is gone hee 's departed hee 's â—…ead O what shall I doe to lament enough â—…e losse I sustaine How shall I sufficiently â—…ourne the departure of him whom all my â—…bbes and cryes can never re-call Weepe I â—ust I cannot choose but weepe Nature â—ommand's it and I hope religion will not â—orbid it Though David complained that â—hee was forgotten as a dead man out of mind Ps 31.12 yet hee could not possibly meane that the dead were forgotten by their sur-viving off-spring O noe the eyes of orphanes are full of teares when they call to mind their once indulgent fathers yea and in every teare â—eâ—meth to be a reflection of the deceased parent Our laments are not onely enforced by the greatnesse of our losses and the strength of our love to our departed fathers but even by religion it selfe which gives us a kind of encouragement to hope that in their moderation they have authoritie from God Deut 21.11 The captive woman among the people of God who was faire and beautifull and whom an Israëlite desired to have to his wife was to be brought home to his house vers 12 and then shee was to shave her head and to paire her nailes and to put the raiment of her captivity from off her vers 13 and to remaine in his house but first shee ought to bewayle her father her mother a full moneth before the Israelite might goe in unto her hee be her husband and shee his wife Mee think's I could willingly yeeld to be thus farre a slave as to mourne for my father for it is some content to mee in my losses to have yet the societie of my teares Allthough among the Iewes the very touching of the dead did make the living un-cleane yet among Christians wee have noe such lawes O how would I now goe kisse his cold and wann chee kes and weepe over his shrowded body yea and wash that face so full of palenesse with my warme and willing teares if all that I could doe would restore him to life againe I would not stick to touch him yea to kisse him and when my lipps would be wearie my teares should softly court his hollow and closed eyes A verie Iew might have done thus much who lived under the bondage of the
makest sick in smiting by reason of my sinnes yet in considence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soule unto thee as unto a faithfull Creatour O let that live and it shall praise thee for in thee doe I trust let mee not be confounded neither let mee despaire of the greatnesse of thy mercies Ps 23.4 And though now I walke in the shadow of death yet I know that it is in thy power to restore mee to health Lord if it may stand with thy secret will be pleased to recover mee that I may glorifie thy goodnesse in thy worke of power Blesse all the lawfull meanes that shall be used for that purpose Give skill to the Physitians vertue to the medicines strength to my spirits and health to my body Let mee recover my strength that I may imploy it in thy service and restore mee to health that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandements But if otherwise thou hast determined and resolvest at this time to make mee as water spilt upon the ground 2. Sam. 14.14 graunt mee a willing and ready submission to thy decree Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body or increase my patience that I may not offend thee in my sufferings Make mee to magnifie thee whether by life or by death and graunt mee so safe a passage and conduct in the armes of thy mercy that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosome Graunt this ô father for the love and merits of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely intercessour and redeemer in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Our Father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy Kingdome come Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our dayly bread And forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hower of death VVHerfore is light given to him that is in miserie saith holy Iob and life unto the bitter in soule Iob. 3.20 vers 21 Which long for death but it cometh not and digge for it more then for hid treasures vers 22 Which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave This was the complaint of a faithfull man and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowfull woman I have grieved and I have mourned for my sinnes and my good God I blesse him for it is gratiously pleased in the bowells of his mercy and compassion to give mee an assurance of happinesse by the merits of my Iesus But when comest thou ô my sweete my longed for my desired Saviour Thou knowest my paines which draw from mee many sinsull thoughts and un-fitting cryes Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversarie and his busie allurements to rob mee of my hope Thou seest how sometimes hee would leade mee into carnall securitie and sometimes into a beliefe that my verie vicet are vertues or not seene by Thee or not to be punished by thee and sometimes againe hee striveth to hurrie mee into the verie gulfe of despaire But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevaile against mee Mat. 16 18. Io 13.1 Prov. 12.28 for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end I know that in the way of righteousnesse there is life and in the path-way thereof there is noe death Hence away therfore yee fowle fiends and rebellious tempters What doe yee here fawning and grinning hoping to betray a penitent soule These teares which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sinns are too pretious a water for you to hath in too choyce a wine for you to tast of here are noe hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent Iesus Though my groanes alas cannot be free from the pollution of sinne yet they shall not advantage you in what yee desire Ps 119.115 Away from mee yee wicked ones I will keepe the commandements of my God Thinke not to affright mee with my approaching death Phil. 1.23 for I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Death I feare thee not come come and trye thy power but know that thy countenance which is so terrible to reprobates is the producer of joy comfort to my wearied heart Thou poore feeble despised nothing what power or strength is left thee to boast of Grave why gapest thou why standest thou so open as if thou didst hope to tryumph Hos 13 14. and conquer mee My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues ô death my Iesus did resolve to be thy destruction ô grave and that repentance should be hid from his eyes Is 25.8 1 Cor 15.54 Hee promised to swallow up death in victorie and to wipe away teares from off all faces This hee did promise and this hee hath performed for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death it selfe is swallowed up in victorie Now I dare challenge you ô yee impotent and powerlesse adversaries I dare scorne vers 55 and contemne you O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victorie Thy sting ô death was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life The strength of thy sting was that law which was fullfilled by my mercifull Iesus Hos 13 14. Ps 49.15 Rom 14.9 Hee hee hath ransomed mee from the power of the grave hath redeemed mee from death Hee hath redeemed my soule from the power of hell for hee shall receave mee To this end hee dyed and rose againe re-vived that hee might be Lord both of the dead and of the living Ps 68.20 Ps 48.14 Rom 14 7. vers 8. Hee that is my God is the God of salvation unto whom belong the issues from death This God is my God for ever and ever hee shall be my guide even unto death I live not to my selfe nor doe I dye unto my selfe for whether I live I live unto the Lord whether I dye I dye unto the Lord whether I live therfore Phil 1.20 or dye I am the Lord 's Christ shall be magnified in my body whether it be by life or by death for to mee to live is Christ vers 21 Heb. 12 18. vers 22 vers 23 vers 24 and to dye is gaine I come not to the mount that might not be touched nor to blacknesse and darknesse and tempest but I come unto mount Sion to the generall assemblie and â—rch of the first-borne which are written in heaven and to God the judg of all and to the spirits of just men made perfect and to Iesus the Mediatour of the new covenant and to the blood of sprinkling that
pearle shall be made to forgett it's vallew rather then I will prize it above my charitie Even these very jewells shall be sould and consumed rather then I will valew my pride above my bountie They shall be parcelled out in severall summs and the naked shall weare them in their needefull apparell Or if these pearles being sould dispersed to the poore will not discover enough of my Christian compassion from mine eyes shall droppe such a plentifull store that my heart shall be free in it's liberall bountie and manifest thereby my tender affection There is a pearle which my Saviour mentions exceeding Mat 13 45. vers 46 all the treasures of the earth For that pearle will I learne to play the marchant and sell both this and all that I have for the purchase of that I neede not feare the want of ornaments if I part from these to be partaker of that for that pearle is a citty Reu 21 10. and that citty is great and holy even the holy Ierusalem whose light is like a Iasper stone vers 11 cleere as Chrystall vers 18 The bulding of the wall thereof is of Iasper the citty pure gold like unto cleere glasse the foundations of the wall are garnished with all māner of pretious stones vers 19 even with a Iasper a Saphir a Calcedony vers 21 an Emerald a Sardonix a Sardius a Chrisolite a Berill a Topaz a Chrysophrasus a Iacinct vers 21 and an Amethist the twelve gates are twelve pearles every severallgate a pearle and the very streete of the citty is pure gold as it were transparent glasse O who would not leave this drossie perishing gold for that which is so pure and shall last for ever Who would not forsake these mock and triviall jemmes for those most precious and unvalluable jewells Long since did my Saviour tell his disciples that it is easier for a camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle Mat 19 24. then for the rtch to enter into the Kingdome of God What then shall I doe who am borne downe from that Kingdome by the weight of my riches and kept out from the doore by the bundles the greatenesse of the baggs which I would carie When the ruler professed that hee had kept all the commandements of God from his youth Luc 18 21. vers 22 yet lacked hee one thing Hee was to sell all that hee had and give to the poore and then it was promised hee should have treasure in heaven But when hee heard this vers 23 hee was very sorrowfull for hee was very rich For my part I must confesse that I have beene farre more carefull to keepe my treasure then the commandement of God Yet if I had done it even from my youth as the ruler boasted howsoever my plenty would informe mee of my want One thing yet the ruler wanted and that one thing still I stand in neede of I want the diminishing of this earthly trash I must sell all that I have and give to the poore O I feare that this command will bee very sad and sorrowfull to mee too because I am very rich The more I possesse the more sorrow will arise when I shall part from my possessions But thus I must doe if I expect what I desire All must goe for the purchase of that pearle The poore must have baggs to receave my riches and then my store shall be treasured in heaven Yet am I not bound so to give to the poore as thereby to be one of the number of them Charitie unbounded becometh prodigalitie Those that are liberall must disperse with freedome but not with excesse Hee that command's mee to releive the poore command's mee not to give 'till I am poore If once I be reduced to such a penurie I shall be quite deprived of the power to be liberall What therfore is mine I will not impropriate and keepe onely to my selfe but first having furnished my selfe for necessitie I will preferre the wants of my brethren before my convenience or my delight I will not deny my felse the use of the creatures in a lawfull manner nor yet will I proudly satisfie my curiositie leave the indigent out of my thoughts I will labour to make these earthly riches serviceable to the donour even the God of heaven and that I may the better effect my desires I will humble my selfe on my knees at his foote-stoole and besiech him to bow downe his eare to my petitions while I pray unto him and say The Prayer HEavenly father Lord of plenty thou who hast created the world by thy power and continuest thy love in thy providence and protection to thee doe I render thanks for my plenty and to thee doe I offer the service of my store What I have is thine Ps 24.1 for the earth is thine and all that therein is the compasse of the world and they that dwell therein It is thou onely that givest a blessing to the fruit of the land Deut 7 13. to the corne to the wine and to the oyle to the increase of the Kine and of the flocks of the sheepe It is thou onely that commandest thy blessing in the store-houses c 28.8 and in all that thy servants doe set their hands unto Lord make mee one of thy faithfull servants that what thou hast sent mee may be a restimonie of thy love and not of thy hatred ◠Tim. 6.17 Make mee all ways magnifie thee in my time of plenty and not be high-minded nor trust in these uncertaine riches but in thee the living God who givest mee richly all things to enjoy O suffer mee not so to treasure up the deceitfull riches of this sinfull world Luc. 12 25. as thereby forgetting to be rich towards thee but as from thy bounty I receave these temporall blessings so in thy mercy make mee abound in grace 2. Cor 9.8 that allways having all sufficiency in all things I may abound to every good worke vers 11 and be enriched in every thing to all bountifullnesse that through mee it may cause thanksgiving unto thee my Lord and my God In this my prosperity give mee humility and prepare mee for adversitie if it shall please thee at any time to send it unto mee Give mee a sense of the afflictions of many of thy saints and distressed servants enlarge my heart that I may be ready and forward to contribute to their necessities Make mee shew mercy with cheerefullnesse Rom. 12.8 and possesse with thankfullnesse what thou sendest unto mee that I may neither forget thee in thy members nor deny thee to be the giver Let mee never stop mine eares at the cryes of the distressed who begge for reliefe in the name of thy selfe Thou ô Christ 2. Cor 8.9 who wert rich didst for my sake become poore that so through thy poverty thou mightest make mee rich Lord make mee as willing to bee
Christianitie seemes to be but the labour of the voyce for if men did believe what the Scriptures teach they surely would practise something of Charitie Thus I sitt and sigh and grieve and expostulate and complaine but yet I forget what I ought to consider of I am apt to repine at this poverty which I suffer but I am un-apt to enquire into the cause thereof Solomon tell 's mee that Prov. 19.15 Slothfullnesse casteth into a deepe sleepe an idle soule shall suffer hunger That hunger I feele but doe I acknowledg that idlenesse Doe I confesse that slothfullnesse If I should examine my hands what worke they have done would not their smoothnesse and whitenesse accuse them of idlenesse If I should aske mine eyes how vigilant they have beene in a lawfull imployment would they not drowzily and bashfully slinke behind the curtaines Let mee then remember how Solomon telleth mee c. 23.21 that drowsinesse shall cloath one with raggs And yet mee think's this is not all There must be some-thing else that bring 's this affliction Let mee but consider a litle and reason with my selfe It may be I may find out some-thing more by a diligent search I live upon the earth I live in the world Earth I had the best of earth in the esteeme of earth I had gold and silver so much esteemed and honoured by man In the world I am yet now my coyne is gone I am here but a stranger I did know many but in the change of my fortune I am known of none If I call to the earth which so much I have loved it will not un-bowell it selfe to offer mee it's intraills I cannot tell how neither to prick a veine of it to enrich my selfe as the delvers doe though shee tremble at the violence If I sue to the world I am there neglected Ps 31.12 I am forgotten like a dead man out of mind or like a broken vessell Whence ariseth this un-kindnesse of the earth Whence proceede's this forgetfullnesse of the world Certainly the earth of it selfe had not malice enough to sieke my ruine Surely the world of it selfe had not cruelty enough to contrive my un-doeing Noe noe there 's some-thing yet which I have not discovered that question-lesse hath brought this poverty upon mee I sigh my sighes goe up-ward mee think's toward heaven I looke with a steady and stedfast eye but 't is up-ward I looke 't is chiefely upon heaven I mourne and I cry and my word is chiefely O Lord O God Who is this I name so often in my laments Who is this I mention so often in my cryes Is it not the Lord Is it not God To heaven goe my sighes upon heaven looke mine eyes on the God of heaven doe I call and yet though hee 's in my sighes in mine eyes and in my tongue I have all this while forgotten to entertaine him in my heart Surely if hee had hitherto dwell't in my soule I should either have enjoyed more of the earth or lesse of my love to it That which I have left so un-willingly I have loved too much and in that love I have sinned too much and by that sinne I have moved him to anger who hath sent mee this poverty Yes yes 't is hee 't is hee that maketh poore and maketh rich 1. Sam. 2.7 that bringeth low and lifteth up All this while I have lived in such ignorance that either I knew him not or at least I honoured him not I lived as if there were noe other God but onely mammon noe happinesse but on earth noe treasures but gold and noe content but in plenty If I ever remembred him it was to his dishonour if ever I spake of him it was in prophanenesse I never doubted of his love therfore never prayed for his blessing or if I did pray it was coldly it was faintly and rather to satisfie the world then to discharge my duety or in an awfull manner to have recourse to his Majesty I measured his favours by my out-ward possessions and deemed them blessings which hee sent in wrath but I hope it will prove that hee hath taken them in mercy Graunt blessed God that now I may know thee in this my miserie who formerly forgot thee in the height of my plenty and that knowing thee I may love thee and that loving thee I may depend on thee that depending on thee I may serve and honour thee all the dayes of my life O now mee think's I am another woman I beginne to feele some warmth at my heart I find that my God doeth speake to my conscience Lord send mee repentance that I may be sorrie for my sinnes send mee thy grace that I may have share in thy promises send mee a lively faith that I may relye upon the merits of my blessed Redeemer and howsoever thou disposest of this body of flesh preserve my soule for thy celestiall kingdome O what a suddaine alteration doe I find in my selfe My teares that savoured of murmuring and despaire shall flow aboundantly for the sinnes I committed World leawd world thou art a jugler and an impostour Earth base earth thou art a cozener and a deluder I silly woman did place my happinesse in your transitorie courtesies and thought it the chiefe honour to become your minion But now I see that you fayle your servants and mocke your lovers There 's noe constancy but in God There 's noe comfort or happinesse but in Christ The more I sieke him the more I love him and the more I love him the more I am beloved of him Hee will not deceave mee hee will not leave mee nor forsake mee Lord let me be thine though hungry though thirstie though naked I come unto thee I am sure that if I serve him I shall be provided for by him Hee can doe it for hee hath enough Col. 1.16 Hee created all things and his they are by whom they were created O let him give mee a litle with content rather then so much as I had with forgetfullnesse of him I care not how litle I possesse so I may enjoy my Lord. The birds doe never thinke of a morrow and yet their hunger is satisfied every moment The herbes the flowers are infensible of their verdure and yet they infinitely out-vye King Solomon in his glory Mat. 6.29 The rivers that steale from the billowed ocean and sport awhile in the massie earth are at length directed to the sea againe The stone that is digged from the quarries in the earth to serve for necessity and ornament of our structures findeth rest at last in a silent heape where making a way by it's heavy weight it steale's back by degrees into the wombe of the earth In each of these I discover a providence for hee who first created doeth still preserve O let him be mine and then I shall be his O let mee be his then hee shall be mine If I be his
Ierusalem and to set a marke upon the fore-heads of the men that sighed and that cryed for all the abominations that were done in the midst thereof A marke I have too yea more then one and one and one though not in my fore head and they are set on as if they proceeded from the inke of the writer but woe is mee I have either not cryed at all or not enough either for mine owne sinnes or for the abominations of Ierusalem how then can I hope to escape the destruction And yet hee that spared them if hee please can spare mee likewise for his hand is not shortned Is 59.1 that it cannot save neither is his eare heavie that hee cannot heare 2. King 20.1 When Hezekiah was commanded to set his house in order and it was tould him that hee should die and not live vers 2. hee turned his face to the wall and prayed unto the Lord and wept sore vers 3. vers 5. and presently Isaiah was sent unto him to tell him Thus saith the Lord the God of David thy father I have heard thy prayer I have seeno thy teares behould I will heale thee and I will adde unto thy dayes fifteene yeeres vers 6. Hee may be pleased to say unto mee too as hee did unto Hezekiah for I allso weepe yea I weepe very sore and I allso pray yea I pray heartily Ps 22.19 and say Be not thou farre from mee ô Lord ô my strength hast thee to helpe mee But Hezekiah was more righteous then I am 2. King 20.3 for hee walked before the Lord in trueth and with a perfect heart and did that which was good in his sight Rom. 7 18. Num 12.13 whereas in mee dwelleth noe good thing But Miriam was a woman as I am yea and sinfull and yet when shee was Leprous Moses cryed unto the Lord for her and sayd Heale her now ô God I besiech thee and shee was shut out from the campe but seaven dayes vers 15 and was healed O but shee had a Moses to pray for her whereas I alas have none I have noe such Moses to pray for mee But what shall I therfore remaine quite destitute of all hopes Shall I despaire of the goodnesse and the tender mercies of the most high Noe I may not I must not for that would but increase my sinne adde to my torments The woman in the Gospel who for twelve yeeres space had an issue of blood Mar 5.25 and had suffered many things of many physitians and had spent all that shee had and was nothing bettered vers 26 vers 27 but rather grew worse shee onely came behind my Iesus vers 29 and touched his garment and straight way the fountaine of her blood was dryed up and shee felt in her body that shee was healed of that plague vers 33 VVith that fearing and trembling woman therfore will I in like manner fall downe before him and tell him all the trueth I will confesse unto him all my sinnes or at least so many as possibly I can call to my remembrance Who knoweth but that hee may say unto mee as hee did unto her vers 34 Daughter thy faith hath made thee whole goe in peace and be whole of thy plague I am resolved to take noe repulse The whole multitude even the multitude of my sinnes shall not hinder mee though they rebuke mee that I should hould my peace but with the blind man in the Gospel I will cry so much the more Lu 18.39 Iesus thou sonne of David have mercy on mee Or if that prayer be too short while hee shall prolong my time I will compose and settle my selfe to a larger forme earnestly fervently zealously I will pray unto him and say The Prayer O Eternall and most mercifull Lord God whose eyes are ten thousand times brighter then the Sunne and yet thou vouchsafest to looke with thine eye of providence even upon the meanest of the children of men Lu 1.48 Ps 38.9 reguard I besiech thee the low estate of thine afflicted hand-mayd Thou knowest all my desires and my groaning is not hid from thee To thee the pollutions of my poore soule are more naked and open then these spotts in my flesh are obvious to my sight The fowlenesse of my corruptions have conspired with the infectious ayre to cause these staines in my skinn and by them I am commanded to prepare for my dissolution Lord if thou hast decreed by these meanes to free mee from this world of paine and miserie be pleased to translate mee from hence to the joy of thee my Lord and Master Mat. 25 23. Give mee ô my father a sight of mine imperfections make mee loath them and tremble at them more then I doe at these messengers of death Weane mee from the love of sinne by the consideration both of thy displeasure mine owne mortalitie These spotts appeare like so many eyes which seeme to stare mee in the face and would affright mee with horrour and all because I had not allways a consideration that thine eyes in every place doe behould the evill Prov. 15.3 and the good Blessed God give mee a sight of my corruptions and a detestation of them Ps 51.9 and then turne thou thy face away from my sinnes and blot out all mine iniquities Speake peace and health unto my wounded soule which every minuit expecteth thy coming Lord thou art a God who canst not abide to behould unrighteousnesse looke not therfore with thy wrathfull eye upon mee who am all sinne and pollution but upon thy Sonne and his sufferings Or if thou canst not choose but looke upon mee first cloath mee with the righteousnesse of that immaculate Lamb so shalt thou see mee with love and delight I shall behould thee with unspeakeable joy Prepare mee o my God that I may be a fit guest to be called and invited to the supper of the Lamb. Reu 19.9 Seale unto my soule the remission of mine offences and then make mee willingly to resigne up my body to thine owne disposing Yet thou mayest speake the word if so thou pleasest and thy servant may be healed Mat. 8.8 Luc. 17 15. There was a Leper in the Gospel who fell downe at thy feete ô Iesus giving thee thunks vers 16 and with a lowde voyce glorifying thy name because thou hadst healed him It is as easie for thee to restore mee in like manner Hos 5 13. as thou didst that Leper When Ephraim saw his sicknesse and went to the Assyrian Iudah saw his wound and sent to King Iareb there was found noe healing nor curing of the wounds but those that come unto thee shall find that thou art both able willing to heale all those that are broken in heart Ps 147 3. and to give medicine to heale their sicknesse for unto Israël thou diddest proclayme thy selfe The Lord that
vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen all wept Luc 8.52 and bewayled the litle daughter of Iairus my Iesus forbad their teares saying Shee is not dead but sleepeth O sweete comfort to the lamenting mother whose onely daughter should returne from the dead Shee that had shed the teares of sorrow for the losse of her joy was then to shed teares of joy for the recoverie of the deceased But I weepe and weepe Lam 1.2 and continually weepe the teares are on my cheekes for my child is dead I have noe hope of receaving him againe to life I alas am not the wife of a ruler of the temple I have noe Iesus here in the flesh to worke such a miracle for mee My poore child is dead and hopelesse and helplesse as I am there is noe recovering there is noe recalling him Yet stay howsoever I will call I will cry mee think's hee should not be dead who knoweth but my sweete babe may heare mee Who knoweth but my Redeemer may awake him againe The daughter of Iairus was dead to her parents but shee was not dead to the Messias Hee who will one day awake the dead and rowze them from the graves can now if hee pleaseth speake as powerfully to my babe My Saviour can for hee himselfe is neither dead nor sleepeth True it is that once hee dyed yea hee dyed for mee and so for mine infant too but hee rose againe and from thence-forth can die noe more Rom 6 9. death hath noe more dominion over him This living Saviour of mine may if hee please restore my dead child I will call him peradventure hee may awake Sonne ô my sonne my child my love my joy my dearest infant where art thou Where strayest thou Whither wanderest thou Returne returne litle Saint and cheere up the drooping spirits of thy fainting mother What noe answer Noe speech Not so much as a groane or a sigh Will this frozen clod of earth be noe more â—he carkenet of his immortall soule Oh hee s fled hee 's gone hee 's past re-call alas what shall I doe Is this the blessing of the womb â—o enjoy a child for a yeere or two and then â—o have it hasten to the womb of the earth Is this the joy the delight that women have in the fruit of their bodies Gen 3.16 onely to conceave in sorrow to travell in anguish and when they are delivered after a yeare or two to be bereft of them in a moment Could not thousands of kisses and dandlings and dauncings nay could not sckreeches and groanes and cryes call back my child Alas noe I see they could not all was in â—aine Hee who called Lazarus from the grave hath called my litle one to the grave His soule is with him and nothing now but his body is left with mee From him I would not pluck him mee think's if I might for hee 's at peace with him From mee mee thinks I would not have had him call him for hee knoweth how I loved him and yet his will not mine must be fullfilled O that I could so rest satisfied with the rest of my sweete infant But why doe I onely wish so I must likewise practise it Act. 5.29 lest happily as Gamaliel sayd unto the Iewes I be found even to fight against God I will therfore resolve with David and say 2 Sam. 12.23 Now hee is dead wherfore should I fast Can I bring him back againe I shall goe to him but hee shall not returne to mee I shall goe when hee who keepeth my child in his armes shall be pleased so to embrace mee likewise and to seate mee in his Kingdome by my dearest child Why then should I enuy my litle one the joyes of eternitie If I weepe too much I may discover a discontent at his highest preferement If I truely loved him I shall never enuy him allthough I shall desire that to those heavenly mansions I may certainly follow him Young hee was while mine hee was very young tender weake and yet as young as hee was hee now is suddenly growne older then my selfe hee is my better hee is my senior and hath gotten before mee into glory Yea and his passage thither was fayre and gentle too if I consider his sinnes which hee suffered for onely in his sicknesse His rich soule espied a crevise a chinke a flaw in his muddie earth made by his disease and so escaped flew away even with the wings of that dove that blessed Spirit Ps 55.6 which David panted for and wished for and cryed for saying O that I had the wings of a dove Gen. 7.1 King 13.24 2. King 2.24 Num 21 6. Gen 19 24. for then would I flee away and be at rest Had my child beene drowned as was the ould world or torne in pieces by Lyons as was the disobedient Prophet or by Beares as were the fortie and two children that mocked Elisha or stung with Serpents as were the murmuring Israëlites or burnt with fire and brimstone as were Sodome and Gomorrha or swallowed up quick by the yawning num 16.33 act 12 23. gaping devouring earth as were Corah Dathan and Abiram or had hee beene smitten by the Angel of God and eaten up of wormes of vermine as was Herod Agrippa then my griefe indeede might have beene increased my sorrowes might have beene multiplyed yet at length if it had beene so I ought to have beene contented at length if I belong unto him to whom my child is gone I must have taken up the resolution of patient of holy of devout Iob and have sayd The Lord gave Iob. 1.21 and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. But my God hath beene more mercifull both to mee and mine for hee made much of my child and finding him a litle froward a litle wayward a litle unquiet hee gently layed him downe to sleepe Hee sent a gentle disease to rock him to sing him to sleepe And seing that hee thus gently thus securely sleepe's in God even in that God who never sleepeth surely whilest I awake I will sing and give praise My glory shall awake Ps 57.8 my Lute and Harpe shall awake all my joyes all my pleasures all my contents shall awake and praise him and magnifie him for ever And yet for all this my resolution for all my serious purpose thus to doe I find that in my musick I stop upon a fret That sudden sigh stole from my heart unawares It may be that it was ashamed to stay there and so slanke away What another Nay this is too much King Solomon telleth mee that there is a time to weepe Ecc 3.4 but hee doeth not tell mee that that time must continue so long as I continue here upon earth What though I am a traveller I
bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
dyed shee vers 19 poore soule being greate with child when the storie of these sad accidents was related unto her bowed her selfe and fell in travaile for her paines came upon her yea at length when shee was delivered of her Ichabod vers 21 she gave up the ghost Thus the Priests fell by the sword Ps 78.64 and noe widow was left to make lamentation True it is that my affliction is greate in the death of my husband yea so greate that herewith the slanderous enemie of the Psalmist was severely cursed Ps 109.9 Let his children be fatherlesse and his wife a widow yet is it farre better to see him goe downe to the grave in peace then that hee should have lingered in continuall miserie Ier 22.12 Shallum the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah was caried captive by an enemie into another land and dyed there which the Prophet confidering speaketh and saith vers 10 Weepe not for the dead neither bemoane him but weepe for him that goëth away for hee shall returne noe more nor see his native countrie This might have beene the portion allso of my beloved but since it was not though my losse be greate yet must not my sorrow be too greate Immoderate griefe for those that are dead was the practise of heathens it becometh not the children of God The Israelites were forbidden it even by God himselfe who saith unto them Lev 19 28. Deut 14.1 Yee shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead nor print any markes upon you I am the Lord. And againe Yee are the children of the Lord your God yee shall not cut your selves nor make any baldnesse betweene your eyes for the dead The Gentiles indeede at the death of friends were so trans-ported with sorrow that they cut themselves Ier 16.6 made themselves bald in the greatnesse of their lamentations They carved their flesh and marked themselves for idolatrie yea they allso cut their skinnes when a friend deceased and the wounds they filled up with either Stibium or inke or what colour they pleased which remained in the flesh when the skinne was growne over In all their sorrowes such kinds of inscisions were ordinarie testimonies of the griefe of their hearts Ier 41.5 Thus the fowre score men that came from Shechem from Shiloh and from Samariah had their beards shaven and their clothes rent and they had cut themselves and had offerings and incense in their hands to bring to the house of the Lord. Thus when the Priests of Baall did call on the name of their Idoll 1. King 18.28 they cryed alowd and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancers 'till the blood gushed out upon them Yet though it was the practise of the Gentiles it may not be of Christians nor might it be of the Israëlites they therfore punished it with many stripes And just it was that when their violent hands had un-naturally beene stained with the blood of their owne bodies the hand of justice should draw blood in the punishment of such a cruell offence The Iewes might not cut themselves at the death of a friend noe though of a father because they were not fatherlesse while the Lord was their God The infidells indeede had noe share in the most high and therfore were fatherlesse when their sires deceased but it was not so with Israel nor is it so with mee I have a father which is in heaven Mat 6.9 to whom my husband is gone before mee I have a husband too which is in heaven even the same who was a husband to Iudah and Israël I have a head too which is in heaven Ier 31.32 even my Saviour Christ Eph 5.23 who is the head of the Church I have a brother too which is in heaven even my elder brother Iesus Christ Why then should I grieve that my husband is dead since hee is but gone to the place where my treasure is layed up Mat. 6.20 and where my immortall father and head and brother have crowned him with immortalitie My God hath taken him that I may know where to find him Whilest hee continued upon earth his imployments did often deprive mee of his societie but now is hee seated in a place of rest to which when I come wee shall never be seperated Whilest hee was here my affection unto him indeede was greate and that was my duety but yet I feare that I offended in the excesse Had I not loved him too much I should not be immoderate in my sorrow but even by these teares I am taught the sinfullnesse of my passion For this sinne therfore will I strive to weepe even for the trespasse of my weeping I should never have beene so offensively sensible of this my losse nor so vaine in my laments if I had allways remembred that hee was created mortall and had therfore trusted in him who is immortall If I doe love my God more then I did my husband I shall find both comfort and content in his mercy Lord how fraile and weake am I that I cannot discharge the debt of nature but I must bring in question the power of grace I cannot grieve for the death of my departed husband without discovering some diffidence some distrust in my God But I will pray unto the Lord to for give the excesse of my love to my deceased husband the excesse of my teares for the death of my husband and to convert these teares into dropps of sorrow for my hainous offences To him will I hasten to him will I speedily addresse my selfe and mournfully will I cry and begge and pray and say The Prayer FAther of mercies and God of all consolation Ioa 11.25 vers 26 thou who art the resurrection and the life in whom whosoëver believeth shall live though hee were dead and in whom whosoëver liveth and believeth shall not die eternally send downe thy grace into my sinfull soule that I may magnifie thy name for delivering thy servant from the miseries of this life and for inthroning him in the celestiall â—erusalem where I doubt not but hee reigneth Thou knewest his sufferances and the sharpenesse of his sicknesse in mercy didst release him of his miserie to crowne him with glory Thy favours were infinite in his spirituall comforts when his body languished through the extreamitie of his disease By thy scourge thou taughtest him how thou abhorrest sinne yet I doubt not but thou hast freed him from the torments of hell through the sufferances of thy Sonne For thy goodnesse to him thy name be glorified and I humbly besiech thee to extend thy mercy likewise unto her who honoureth thee for it Thou knowest Lord the distresse of my soule for want of him whom thou hast taken from mee Thou seest mine affliction and thou numberest my teares O be gratious unto mee thine unworthy servant and send mee comfort in the midst of these sorrows Give mee grace
canst make mee thy child O be pleased to hearken to the intercession of mine advocate pleading for mee to the intercession of thy Christ who was obedient to thee to the intercession of my Iesus who was crucified for mee In him be reconciled unto mee for I am well assured that like as a father pittieth his children Ps 103 13. so thou Lord doest pittie them that feare thee This ô this is the way where in I must walke Thus yea onely thus shall I have a father both dead and alive Hee who is dead shall not b◠immoderately bewayled because hee that is ever living shall wipe the teares from mine eyes Mine exchange shall be full of advantage For him who was willing to helpe mee yet was not able for him who loved mee but imperfectly and left mee irresistably I shall have a father whose will cannot be opposed whose power noe creature is able to resist whose love is in perfection and who is not subject either to change Dan 7.9 Ps 90.2 Ps 22.9 or dye Hee is the ancient of dayes hee is God from ever-lasting and world without end If I could say with David Thou didst make mee hope when I was upon my mother's breast as well as I can say with him Thou art hee that tooke mee out of my mother's wombe vers 10 if I could say that thou art my God from my mother's belly as well as I can say that I was cast upon thee from the wombe if I could say that I had allways served thee then should my praise be of thee continually Ps 71.6 and then should I be safe under the shadow of thy wings Hos 14 3. Ashur shall not save us saith Israel wee will not ride upon horses neither will wee say any more to the worke of our hands Yee are our God's for in thee ô God the fatherlesse findeth mercy In God doe the fatherlesse find mercy Ps 35.14 Why then doe I how downe my selfe thus heavily mourning for my father whereas I am assured if I serve and obey the righteous Lord that when my father and my mother forsake mee Ps 27.10 then the Lord will take mee up Hee that is dead was but the weake though the loving instrument to bring mee to life but hee that is living yea and liveth for ever and ever is the God both of power and mercy hee therfore for ever shall be my father Mal 2.10 Have wee not all one father Saith the Prophet Hath not one God created us Yes yes hee is a father to all by creation but hee will not be a father to all by regeneration Lu 12.32 His flock is but litle his children are not many I will therfore strive to be one of the smallest number for those alone shall inherit salvation His mercies were ever greate to the godly his compassions never failed the fatherlesse if they honoured him When David was promised that hee should have a Sonne even then the Lord did allso promise to be a father unto him 1. Ch◠17.13 I will be his father saith the Lord and hee shall be my Sonne I will not take my mercy away from him as I tooke it from him that was before thee But what shall I doe to gaine his protection How shall I perswade him to call mee his child If I love the memorie of my father more then I love him then I cannot possibly be worthy of him for so saith my Saviour Mat 10 37. Hee that loveth father or mother more then mee is not worthy of mee I will therfore strive to honour my God with the strength of my love in heart and in soule and that I may the better doe it I will imitate my dead father in all that was just and righteous in him but whereinsoever hee failed I will decline his stepps 1 King 22.52 Ahaziah was plagued because hee did evill in the sight of the Lord and walked in the way of his father and of his mother 2. Chr 22.3 Hee walked in the way of the house of Ahab for his mother was his counseller to doe wickedly It is not the losse of a parent which can prevaile for a blessing upon the child unlesse in the stead of him that was earthly hee be made a father who is Lord of heaven Hee looketh not on our afflictions with the eye of compassion unlesse wee looke up to him with the eye of faith and devotion Our miseries are but judgments unlesse wee amend and doe but prophesie unto us a destruction at hand When Ieroboam was fatherlesse hee was called to the congregation 1. King 12.20 c 11.26 and they made him King over Israel but hee whose hand at first was lifted against the Crowne and not content with that did afterwards put it forth against the man of God c 13.4 had it justly dryed up so that hee could not pull it in againe unto him Thus the losse of an earthly father could not protect a wicked orphane c 14.9 but hee who did evill above all that were before him and had gone and made other Gods and molten images to provoke the Lord to anger and had cast the Lord behind his back even upon his house was evill to be brought vers 10 The Lord will cutt off saith the text from Ieroboam him that pisseth against the wall and him that is shut up and left in Israel and will take away the remnant of the house of Ieroboam as a man taketh away dung 'till it be all gone But on the contrarie I find that unto the godly a father of the fatherless Ps 68.5 and a judge of the widowes is God in his holy habitation 1. King 7.13 vers 14 Hiram the Sonne of a widow of the tribe of Naptali whose father was a man of Tyre the same was filled with wisedome and understanding and cunning to worke all workes in brasse and was therfore sent for by King Solomon to build his house Gen 25 11. Est 2.7 After the death of Abraham it is said that the Lord blessed his Sonne Isaak After the death of Esther's father Mordecai the Iewe tooke her shee being his uncle's daughter for shee had neither father nor mother Hee tooke her for his owne daughter and afterward the Lord so blessed the orphane that shee came to sit upon the royall throne c 7.3 vers 17 Ps 10.14 and to be the preserver of her nation Thus the poore who commit themselves to God doe find assuredly that hee is a helper of the fatherlesse Hee executeth their judgment so saith Moses Deut 10.18 The Lord doeth execute the judgment of the fatherlesse By Moses allso hee forbiddeth the people saying Yee shall not afflict any widow Ex 22.22 or fatherlesse child Iob accuseth his pretended friends of an high offence when hee chargeth them Iob. 6.27 Is 10.2 saying Yee over-whelme the fatherlesse By the Prophet Isaiah a woe is
pronounced against them who take away the right from the poore of the people of the Lord that widowes may be their prey and that they may robbe the fatherlesse Yea and from God himselfe by the mouth of King Solomon the advice is given Remove not the ould land-marke Prov. 23.10 and enter not into the fields of the fatherlesse By the Allmighty to the fatherlesse friends are raised thus was Iob Iob. 29.12 I delivered the poore saith hee that cryed and the fatherlesse and him that had none to helpe him c 31.17 And againe hee saith If I have eaten my morsell alone and the fatherlesse hath not eaten thereof vers 22 then let mine arme fall from the showlder-blade and mine arme be broken from the bone Thus if I am God's then God will be mine If in my wants I misse my father my God will relieve mee if in my troubles I want my father my God will deliver mee What could my earthly parent have added to my content which my heavenly parent cannot much more supply If therfore I grieve too much for the death of him I forget my God who liveth for ever If too much I complaine of his absence who delighted in mee I manifest my rebellion against him who should be my delight Mat. 6.9 Hee taught mee to pray and when I pray hee taught mee to say Our father which art in heaven On him therfore will I depend who is the father of all that believe in him Rom. 4.11 To him in my wants will I addresse my selfe who is the giver of all Iam. 1.17 Upon him will I call and to him will I cry and say The Prayer ALl-mighty God heavenly father who art a Lord of comfort Rom. 15.5 and a God of consolation looke downe upon a sinfull and distressed orphane bereft of the joy and helpe of an earthly parent Thou ô Lord didst send mee unto him that thy Kingdome might be increased and thou hast taken him from mee that my faith and patience might be fully tryed I was apt to forget thee while hee was living looking upon him as the donour of blessings and neglecting thee from whom they proceeded I relyed too much on the arme of flesh 2 Chr. 32.8 and trusted too fondly in the power of man but now thou hast humbled mee by his mortalitie and taught mee wholly to rely and depend upon thee Mine owne unworthinesse of so loving a father made thee to take him away from mine eyes My dis-obedience to his commands and my neglect of honouring him according to thy lawes have provoked thee to anger and to deprive mee of his comfort Lord forgive my manifold offences since I find that all flesh is but as grasse 1. Pet. 1 24. Iam. 4.14 and that the life of man is but as a vapour which van sheth away make mee allways to apply my service wholly unto thee who livest forever Remember thy promises which thou hast made unto the fatherlesse and that I may be capable of those thy promises give mee grace to become thy child by obedience Thou ô Lord art my father to whom belongeth honour Mal. 1.6 thou art my master and requirest mee to feare thee Lord make mee feare to offend thee who art a righteous judge and make mee love and honour thee who art a gracious father Be with mee in all the wayes wherein I shall walke in this mortall life Lu 1.79 guiding my feete into the way of peace Comfort mee in my sorrowes support mee in my miseries provide for mee in my wants and in all places and at all times be thou my father Ps 62.6 Ps 82.3 my rock and my strong salvation Doe thou defend the poore and fatherlesse doe justice to the afflicted and needie Supply all my wants and conferre upon mee all necessarie blessings O be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne that I may here depend upon thy fatherly protection hereafter be receaved into thy celestiall Kingdome there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 23 THE TWENTIE-THIRD SUBJECT Teares for the death of a beloved brother And may likewise serve at the decease of any other faithfull friend The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray A Friend saith King Solomon loveth at all times Prov. 17.17 and a brother is borne for adversitie Friendship which is begotten by the outward forme or any other sinister and by respect liveth noe longer then that ground of affection but nature is stronger then our election can bee and religion obligeth farre more then both O how greate then is my losse of my dearest brother in whom both excellency of feature neerenesse of blood and a gracious conversation conspired together to render him matchlesse To mee hee was a friend but now to the grave what losse can be greater then the losse of a friend To mee hee was a brother but now to the wormes and what losse can be more deplorable then the losse of a brother But to mee hee was yet more hee was a friend in his love and courtesies a brother by his blood yea and an instructer a teacher of religion and goodnesse and yet nor love nor blood nor religion could preserve him mine O what sorrowes doe accompanie all thing transitorie His love could not dye but his body could and so I am deprived of the societie of my brother because my brother was subject to corruption But is this the adversitie for which hee was borne according to King Solomon Did the wise man intend that a brother is borne to bring adversitie Or rather to comfort us in the time of adversitie Had hee beene a cause of my least disturbance while hee was living hee would have eased my griefe by grieving himselfe Hee would have comforted mee in the time of trouble had hee lived to see my grievous mourning But now alas I am left to lament alone and so much the more for the want of his comfort I now must grieve for him who was my joy and my laments and my griefes increase the higher because for his sake they arise who cannot allay them Had wee lived in hatred his death peradventure might have beene my comfort Had wee loved but sleightly a teare or two I might have thought enough to pay at his funerall But our love was firme it was strong yea strong as death Cant. 8.6 and who then can blame mee if my sorrowes in some measure keepe pace with my love O what tye can be so greate as that of affection What love so greate as of a brother and sister And yet so vaine is man so fraile are mortalls that either our affection or our persons must have a divorce Had my deceased brother
forgotten the tye and bond of nature and in his life had hee turned his love into hatred yet his fault ought not to have lessened my love to which both nature and religion did strongly oblige mee Had hee loved mee but coldly and faintly as diverse doe yet I ought to have warmed his affection with the fervency of mine But oh hee deerely loved hee cordâ—ally affected mee and yet his love and his affection could not prolong his life There was a time when Moses was in the Mount and while hee was receaving the written lawes of our glorious Maker the Israëlites in his absence worshipped a Calfe insteed of the law-giver But when Moses returned hee was so wrath with the people that for so greate an offence against the law of God hee decreed a revenge against the law of nature yet was not that revenge provoked by a private and â—n-warranted fury but commanded by God for so hee speaketh to the sonnes of Levi and telleth them Ex 32.27 Thus saith the Lord God of Israël Put every man hissword by his side goe in and out from gate to gate through out the campe and slay every man his brother every man his companion and every man his neighbour Neighbours might be neere in habitation yet not in affection theÌ„ the sword would devoure greedily Companions might love in a superficiall manner yet not in the heart and then the sword might wound with freedome though perhaps not with desire yea and such contentions might arise in companie that the sword might execute at the selfe same time as well a private as the publike revenge But that a brother should slay a brother a brother more strongly allyed by spirit then flesh a brother whose veines did swell with the selse-same blood as his that executed him ô this mee think's did seeme very cruell But let mee not erre in my forward censure there can be noe true affection where there is not religion If a brother offend if a brother transgresse the lawes of God religion will pleade to silence nature when hee who is to be beloved above before all shall require our justice even against our brethreÌ„ Alas what a sad time was it with those idolaters when the punishment did appeare as full of terrour in the actors as the sufferers Yea it seemed easier to dye by the hand of a brother then to live to remember the brethren they had slaine Had my brother and I beene idolaters together I might have believed that that sinne had slaine my brother But as our love was constant so our religion was undefiled yea the strength of our love was founded on the puritie of our religion and yet hee hath payed his debt to nature Is 19.2 The Lord did threaten to set the Egyptians against the Egyptians and that they should sight every one against his brother Those Egyptians were heathens and enemies to the church but mybrother and I were united both in the profession and the love of Christianitie and yet through our finnes I feare that even wee destroy each other My sinnes are partly punished in his death and his death hath given mee so deepe a wound that peradventure I shall not long survive him Our love was so entire that mee think's I could willingly sleepe with him in his grave for while I live my breast is but his walking monument Such love as ours did not allwayes possesse the hearts of some as neerely allyed which maketh mee sigh to thinke that ever there were any which had layen successively in the selfe same wombe and yet did not joyne in the unitie of affection Such there have beene I must believe it because I find it in the sacred text Yet when I reade it mee think's I have a thriling in my blood and a kind of holy revengâ— burning in my heart against those who dishonoured the name of a brother There was a time when the Iewes were so wicked that the Prophet was faine to advise them saying Take yee heede every one of his neighbour Ier. 9.4 and trust yee not in any brother for every brother will supplant and every neighbour will walke with slanders And there was a time when the Church complaining of her small increase cryed out in bitternesse and sayd The good man is perished out of the earth Mich 7 2. there is none upright among men They all lye in wayte for blood they hunt every man his brother with a nett Mee think 's the advice of the Prophet may in some measure concerne my selfe for I am taught not to trust in any brother since hee whom I loved hath now forsaken mee Mee think 's the complaint of the Church may be part of an Elegie upon my deceased brother for with her I may cry out and that justly too The good man is perished out of the earth But neither can I say that hee was a Iew in supplanting or an enemie to the Church lying in wayte for blood What secret devill did guide both the tongue and the hand of Ioab when under the collour of friendship hee asked Amasa 2. Sam. 20.9 Art thou in health my brother And tooke him by the beard with the right hand to kisse him yet even at that time some him with his sword in the fifth ribb and shed out his bowells to the ground that hee dyed vers 10 What cursed fiend did guide the tongue of that wicked miscreant whom the Psalmist chargeth thus and saith Ps 50.20 Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother thou slanderest thine owne mothers sonne Had my brother either supplanted mee or hunted mee with a nett or sought to slay mee or slandered mee with his tongue then I might peradventure have saved this greate expence of my teares But hee was allways so good a brother that I could never justly charge him with the least discourtesie O noe Ps 55.14 wee tooke sweete counsell together and walked unto the house of God in companie I may say of him as Nehemiah spake of Hanani the ruler of the pallace Neh 7.2 Hee was a faithfull man and feared God above many His blood was neere to mee but his soule was neerer His person I loved as I was prompted to it by nature but his inner man I more zealously affected to which I was allured by his gracious endowments Such a one in some measure hee was as my Redeemer himselfe did style his brother Mat 12 49. vers 50. when hee stretched forth his hand towards his disciples and sayd Behold my mother and my brethren for whosoëver shall doe the will of my father which is in heaven the same is my brother and sister and mother And yet though thus hee was my counseller though thus hee was my companion in the wayes of godlinesse though thus faithfull hee was and feared God above many labouring to doe the will of him that sent my Redcemer yet neither his counsell nor his society nor his
Ier 3.22 And this is hee to whom Israel replyeth and saith vers 23 Behold wee come unto thee for thou art the Lord our God Truely in vaine is salvation hoped for from the hills and from the multitude of mountaines truely the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel This is hee who promiseth unto Zion c 30.17 saying I will restore health unto thee and I will heale thee of thy wounds saith the Lord because they called thee an out-cast saying This is Zion whom no man seeketh after This is the same Lord to whom the people of Israel addressed themselves Hos 6.1 when they said Come let us returne unto the Lord for hee hath torne and hee will heale us hee hath smitten and hee will bind us up Since then my God hath cured both lands and waters and bodies and soules Since hee woundeth and hee healeth none can deliver out of his hand Since hee bringeth downe to the grave and bringeth up Since hee woundeth and his hands make whole Since it is hee onely who forgiveth all our iniquities healeth all our diseases and saveth our lives from destruction Since it is hee that bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Since it was hee that promised to penitent Iudah that hee would restore comforts to him and to his mourners Since it is hee alone who is the salvation of Israël Since it is hee that promised unto Zion to restore health unto her and to heale her of her wounds I will resolve therfore with the people of Israel to returne unto him for hee hath torne mee and hee alone can heale mee hee hath smitten mee and hee alone can bind mee up To him to him will I humbly sue for the cure of my wounded and distressed soule and to him will I willingly submitt my weake and feeble body I will powre out my soule unto him I will send up my supplications unto him and will pray and say The Prayer GReate Creatour full of compassion who both sendest sicknesse and restorest health be thou graciously pleased I most humbly beseech thee to turne thy wrath from thy distressed servant Thy hand ô Lord is heavie upon mee in this languishing consumption and the sting of my transgressions pierceth mee with sharpe and grievous torments Yet I must confesse ô my God that my sufferances doe not any wayes equall mine offences nor can the paines which I endure satisfie thee mine offended Lord for the least of my transgressions O my sinnes are upon mee Eze 33.10 and I pine away in the punishment for them how then shall I live My body languisheth my flesh consumeth Ps 22.15 Ps 39.11 Iob 33 19. vers 20 and now am I very neere drawne unto the dust of death Thou with thy rebukes doest correct mee for mine iniquities thou makest my beautie to consume away like a moath I am chastened with paine upon my bed and the multitude of my bones with strong paine so that my life abhorreth bread and my soule the daintie meate that is to be desired vers 21 My flesh is consumed away that it cannot be seene and my bones that were not seene vers 22 stick out My soule draweth neere unto the grave and my life to the destroyers But yet I know that with thee ô God is compassion Mat 9.12 and tender mercies The whole have noe neede of the Physitian but such as I who am sick and in miserie O that it might be sayd of mee as it was by Mary concerning her brother Lazarus Io 11.3 even that Shee whom thou lovest is sick O my God make mee thy friend in heart and soule and graunt that I may expresse it in my dutifull obedience to all thy commandements and then be thou my friend in thy succour and reliefe Ps 41.1 vers 2. Deliver mee now in this time of trouble preserve mee and If it may be thy good pleasure keepe mee alive make mee blessed upon the earth and deliver mee not over into the hands of death vers 3. Lord strengthen mee upon this my bed of languishing make thou turne thou all my bed in my sicknesse Thou hast chastened mee sore Ps 118.18 Ps 116.8 vers 9. Ps 143.6 ô give mee not over unto death but deliver my soule from death mine eyes from teares and my feete from falling that I may walke before thee in the land of the living Vnto thee ô my God doe I stretch forth my hands my soule thirsteth for thee as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee speedily ô Lord my spirit faileth hide not thy face from mee for I am become like unto them that goe downe into the pit Thou hast promised by thine Apostle Iam 5.15 that the prayer of faith shall save the sick and that thou wilt raise him up Lord I pray unto thee strengthen thou my faith I am sick Lord raise thou mee up and make good unto mee that thy promise by thy holy Apostle Heale mee ô Lord Ier 17.14 and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise O Lord I call upon thee Ps 141.1 hast thee unto mee consider my voyce now I cry unto thee and restore mee to health But howsoever if thou hast otherwise determined of mee ô my Iesus cleanse thou mee by thy blood and cure my soule by the merits of thy passion My sinnes I must confesse are the cause of my sicknesse but doe thou ô God Ps 44.22 blott out as a thick clowde my transgressions as a clowde my sinnes returne unto mee for thou hast redeemed mee O give mee patience in this time of adversitie give mee comfort in the examples of thy mercy and give mee assurance of thy love in the sanctifying of this sicknesse unto mee As my body doeth dayly draw neerer to the earth so make my soule allso dayly draw neerer unto heaven If it may be thy pleasure to restore mee to health againe ô let it be thy mercy allso to renew mine obedience But if thou art resolved by this disease to free mee from the labours of this wearisome world and to bring mee downe to my grave for thy Christs sake o my mercifull and indulgent father bring thou my soule into thy celestiall paradise O graunt that my sinnes may consume farre faster then doeth my flesh and as thou takest away the strength of my body so be pleased to adde unto the strength of my faith I am thine ô Saviour and cost thee deere even the very blood that issued from thy crucified body be thou allso mine ô Iesus both now and for ever Abate the temptations â—… Satan and arme mee with strength to resist his suggestions Ravish my soule with the love of thy selfe that so I may with willingnesse forsake the vanities of this world with readinesse lay downe this tabernacle of flesh and with comfort that my soule may