youe neuer run bare before them Nan Neuer we sir Fle. Whither are you going Sus. Sir we want a service end are going to get a Master Fle. Come come I le preferre you both thou shalt serue a Countrey-man of mine hee s going to trauaile shalt goe with him thou shalt serue one of my Ladies Su. We would willingly serue two nere friendes because we are brothers and indeed two twins and therefore are loath to be parted Fl: Two twins that 's all one come come you shall serue 'am Nan You shall pardon vs sir Enter Flor Sparke Felec Ruffell Piso Knight and Fromaga Flor. I hope you le not condemne me for my loue Sp: I haue no reason Lady Flo I offered you vnaskt Sp: That with a number oft hath bought Flo Partlie they haue and partlie not for I would haue you know my function seldom sels affection what though I haue euill liu'd repentant teares can wash away my sin which I le poore foorth like droppes of winter raine and now hencefoorth euer I le this life abhor and to the earth my knees I le dayly bow to get mercy from heauen loue from you Nan O the deuill take impudencie she courts him Sp. Madam the loue that I may giue you fully doe inioy but I haue sworne with other loue then as a Brother doth a sister neuer to loue any Fel. O sir my fortunes are not fellowes with my birth they make me stoope to base deiected courses but would you loue me I would as swift as thought flie this life and leaue lusts fowlest sinne for fleshlye beastes to sleepe and wallow in Su: Shame to thy sex no more Ruff: Lady in all the honest offices that friendship may commaund commaund me still but yet I haue not seene the face to which I owe so much of loue as may iustly arrest my affections and when I doe I le pay so due a debt without imprisonment Pis: Methinkes yond Lady growes fayrer much then she was wont me thinks her feature mendes her comely gesture much hath drawne my heart to loue her O but shee 's a whore Nan Gentlemen doe you lack a Boy Sp. No Nan O God I am vndone Su: Sir do' y want a Seruant Ruff: No Su: O Lord what shall I doe Pis: What canst doe Na: Any thing that a Boy should doe Kni. Woot dwell with me Su: T is partly as you le vse me Kni: I le vse thee well Su: Well Pis: Tell me are you both content to dwel with vs two Both As please you two Pis. Then thou shalt liue with me Kni. And thou with me Sp: Come Gentlemen will you bee going Both We attend you sir Sp. Ladies our occasions cals vs hence and I am sorrye we must leaue you Exeunt manent Piso and Nan Flo. Gentlemen you all both haue and euer shall bee welcome Pis: Lady I will leaue you much affection more then I thought to lend you but I deale on vse and haue much interest Flei: Caught I hope hold hooke and line hee 's fast by heauen Flo. My Lord what you lend me with much interest shall be repaide Pis. Adew Flo. Fare you well refusd Fel. Contemn'd Flo Disdain'd Fel: Abus'd Flo Adyes Fel, A shall not liue Flor. Disdaine the Daughter of such a Signior Fel, Condemne a Ladie borne sister we are wrong'd Flo But if you le consent I haue a proiect laid that in requitall both of them shall die Fel. You make my soule sweet harmony come le ts about it then Exeunt Finis Act Secundi Actus Tertius scena prima Enter the Ladies each with a Letter and Fleire aside Flo. Are we in priuate Fel, We are Flo Pray Sister what moouing lines of loue has your Knight toucht your affection with Fel. Faith his stile is plaine onely a little courtlike silken phrase it has but I hope your lord hath sent rich words like iewels for your eares against your nuptiall day Flo. Faith a woes with lines that might perswade another thought not mee which I le lend your eyes vpon the like receiued curtesie from you Fel. With all my heart Change Letters Flo. What haue we heere Reade Lady I know the noblenes of your disposition defends you from the least Sparke of basenesse wherefore I inuocate euerie particular vertue of yours to be mediators to your best iudgement for my better estimation in your loue my affection is zealous my intent honorable my desire mariage thus desiring your resolued answere I rest Euer at your disposure lacke Haue-little Knight Vpon my life some friend did pen it for the foole Fel. Let me see what 's this Reade You the vnderstanding spirit of a woman let the splender of your Beautie with some heate of your affection shine vpon the creature that adores yee and with the heauenlye comfort of your loue melt and thaw dispaire from in dying heart which if it liue it liues to loue it dye if it dyes in loue but howsoeuer t is your's t was made for you liues by you and dies without you Yours in the moste affectionate degree of affection Don Piso De Florence Sister vpon my life this is sonne and heire to Duke Piso that now is Flo O would hee were but whosoere he bee a must bee made a match to giue fire to the hell blacke pouder of our reuenge yet your loue the wise Knight and he are two in one there are no such friendes as they Fle. Then let them march both hand in hand in one way Flo Then shall be thus these two being earnest suters for our loues wee le graunt vpon condition that suddenly they murther Sparke and Ruffell but first to take the Sacrament if euer it be knowne as knowne 't will be to keep our names vnspotted in the action this being done Fel. Let them challenge vs wee and our loues are won but say they should reueale vs Flo. O none will breake a Sacrament to heape vp periury on other sinnes when death hel stands gaping for their soules Fel. But say they raile on vs Flo. If they doe t is knowne we lou'd Sparke and Ruffel and men will thinke they kild a'm for our loues since they liu'd in our fauour these in disgrace Fel, I like it well come le ts hasten it For this is euen as true as er'e was text Plots are but dreames vntill they take effects Exeunt Fle. O God I think the path to hell that women tread is broder then the way men goe how they walke by couples to the Deuill Enter Piso. Pis. O that I should loue a whore a very common Cocatrise my thoughts are drown'd in a gulf of sinne shee 's a very Canniball which doth deuoure mans flesh and a Horse-leach that sucks out mens best blouds perfection a very prisoners box that 's ope for euery mans beneuolēce and I am Heire vnto a Duke yet loue her doth any man heere loue a whore I who I I I t is I an
our best esteemed friends Maister Spark and Maister Ruffell Fel: Our good wishes euer waite vpon our best belooued friendes Maister Ruffell and Maister Sparke Ambo Wee both are much indebted to your Ladiships Fle: Looke yee signior that 's she whose loue meanes to assault your braines since you haue blowne vp your owne sconce with Tobacco Pet. As I am truely generous shee 's modest Faire Mistris you are so wise that neither time nor age could euer cousen you of beautie and I sweare euen by the Alpes high heauen-touching tops the trauelers narrowe passage and by the towring head of high mount Chiego the Sea-mās southward marke by these the witnesses vnto my trauell I doe vow that you are passing fayre From: If I be not faire sir I must be foule Pet A Foule Lady what bird might that be Fro: A foule Ladie y' are a sawcy Iacke to call mee so that you are Pet. O be not angry for I protest I cannot but commend the whitenes of your skin From: Mary muffe I thinke a be a Tanner and meanes to buy me for my skin Pet Gods mee shee 's angrie what shall I doe now Signior Fle. To her agen man doe not leaue her the Moone is now vpon change she will turne Pet I pray you Ladie knowe mee by the title of some kindenes From. Kindenes faith sir you are mistaken in mee you must seeke your flurts some other where and I pra'y come not to make a foole of me alas man though I am a waiting-woman do not think I spend my time in nothing but tempering of colours working of drawn-worke warming of Smockes and pinning in of ruffes faith yes Fle: And you come to her Signior you must come to her as countrie Gentlewomen doe into the fashion that is in the taile and latter end on 't From, Faith I and ye come to begin your knauerie on me I le take you down I am none of your young simpering waiting-women that are asham'd to be counted proud therefore suffer euerie Seruingman to vse them at their pleasure Pet. Now on my conscience Mistresse my loue is honest and I desire marriage Fro. Indeed if you meane mariage I am content to beare the more with you but I pra'y sir when shal we be maried by my troth I aske you because I haue beene so often deceiued I warrant you I haue bin promised dealt vpon promises in the way of mariage aboue an hundred times Pet. At our next meeting we wil set down a day for the effecting of it Flo. Gentlemen we haue some small discourse which a little requires secrecie therefore if it please ye to walke in and make vse of our better roomes wee will not long be absent from you Sp. Ruf With all our heartes Exeunt Manent two Ladies the Lord and Knight Felicia and the two Wenches disguised hide themselues Flo. Worthy Lord doe not thinke immodestie in mee though contrarie to the bashfull habite of my sexe I am inforc'd by loues almightie power to reueale the secretes of my heart Your Letters haue so much preuailed with mee that in a worde I must confesse I loue you Fel. Worthie Knight I would my wordes had but the power so worke in you that which your lines haue done in me then should the happie consolation of my life dwell euer in your loues embracements Kni. Assure ye Ladie your gift of loue to mee shall bee deserued though nothing but my liues deare breath requite its Piso. And I will rather die a shamefull death then liue a hatefull life which I must do vnlesse I find a meanes that may deserue your loue Flo. No we your tongue goes like a well tuned Instrument and makes my heart within my bosome daunce with ioy to heare such large requitall of my loue but durst you to maintaine this your affection although it were with some daunger of your life Piso. Durst I I vowe euen by my soules eternitie I durst Flo Alas if you knew all t' is your owne good not mine and yet I lie t' is my good too since my life depends vpon your safetie Piso. What is 't deare Ladie although it be the death of man if it be pleasing vnto you I le doo 't Flo O let me embrace so deare a spirit in so deare a bosome and since you haue bound your selfe by promise I will be plaine there are two that hate you two because wee loue you and often haue perswaded vs by giftes and large protestations to haue vs loue them if they kil'd you Piso What vs Kni: Who wee Flo Nay t' is too true for while you liu'd they said there was no hope for them to looke for any loue from vs nowe wee poore sillie women fearing least they without consent of vs should doe that which their hatred doth intend wee thinke it fitte preuention first be vsed by giuing them to drinke of what themselues haue brude Piso First murther them Fel. True so shall ye then be sure T' inioy our loues we yours and liue secure Piso. But what are they Ladies Flo. Sparke Fel. And Ruffell Pis: They die for 't though they were my fathers sons Kni. They shall not liue Piso Let little children feare the shallow Brookes for I can swim though 't be through Seas of blood let foolish feare goe dwell with women for bloodie resolution shall not part from me I le kill them both euen with mine owne hands I le doo 't Flo. O no I le reueale it then vnlesse you first do swear and take a Sacrament what euer hap to keepe our names vntoucht Piso Vntoucht wee le doo 't Fel. Then for the meanes Kni: Wee le stabb them Piso Wee le fight with them Flo No so you may misse them and they kill you Fel: Giue them a Figg Flo Make them drinke their last Fel. Poyson them Piso But for the meanes Flo You two shall make a banquet and in a cuppe of Wine a health shall passe Piso In which I le mingle mingle such a dram as they shall ride to heauen in post vnlesse they misse the way Kni. But where shall we get the poyson because you knowe t' is daungerous and will breede suspect where ere wee buy it Piso. I haue a Countrey-man in towne an Apothecarie one Signeur Aluino a fellow that is well stor'd and will sell me of the best Nan If a were of my minde a would thinke no poyson too good for you Flo Come then I would haue you goe about the preparation of the feast Exeunt Fle, Now boyes you haue a couple of goodly maisters Nan I Fleir and thou hast a couple of vertuous Mistresses O they are a couple of damn'd peeces that will plot or counsell the death of two such worthie Gentlemen Su. For one of them the earth did neuer beare a worthier creature Nan Which is that Su, Which is that Why sister haue you so oft confest that his all perfection'd spirit poyntes him out for vertue
Thirdly you shall neuer in the praise of Tobacco disclose or dispraise by the way of making comparisons the secrets of Ladies or Gentlewomen as repeating their distil'd waters their censing oyles or their smoothing vnguents Sp: To this you sweare Pet. Most willingly Su. Fourthly you shall neuer come with your squibs smoke-squirts amongst Ladies and Gentlewomē flinging out fume at your Nostrels as a whale doth salt-water vnlesse you be intreated by them Pet. Neuer Su. Fiftly you shall presently conuey your selfe out of our company neuer to come more neere vs vnlesse you be sent for Pet. Neuer Su. No neuer so let him kisse the pipe Sp: Come Signior you haue kneeld to a faire end to get you a Mistris and heere you haue for sworne her Pet. I 'me in a faire case now Pis. I faith now thar' t a combe for any case Pet. Well I le keepe my oath farewell Gentlemen Pis. Farwell Signior Sp: Adew Signior Kni: God bewe Signior Pet Well some shall smoke for this Ruff: Let it be your nose then good Signior in any case Exit Enter Signior Antifront disguised called Fleire It s a good soile a whole some ayre a pretty Towne handsome sleight buildings well proportioned people verie faire women Spa. Hayda this is like a Lawyers studdie in the latter end of a Terme one's no sooner thrung'd out but another's thrust in y' are welcome sir Fle. But I am not sir for I am sicke Ruff: Would you speake with any man heere Fl: I care not greatlie sir if I spoke with euery man here Nan Hee 's a mad fellowe Sp What art Fle. Poore Ruff: Dost meane to liue in this towne Fle: I de be loth to die in 't Kni. In what countrie wert borne Fle: In none Kni: Where then Fle: In a Towne Kni: What nation art Flei: An Italian Kni: O then thou canst make glasses Fle: I and as wisemen as you Asses too O are you there Piso your father is my good Lord but no more of that yet Sp. Why Signior I hope you wonnot swagger Fle: No nor I care not greatlie for them that doe for your swaggerer is but like your walking spur a gingles much but hee le neu'r pricke Kni: Why art so melancholie Su. I le hold my life hee is in loue with some waiting Gentlewoman Fle: Hee 's a mad fellowe wil loue anie of you all longer then a pissing while Pis: Why camst thou out of Italy into England Fl: Because England would not come into Italy to me Pis: Why art sad Fle: Because I haue cause Pis: Who doost follow Fle: My nose Sp: Who doost serue Fle: God Ruff: Who art towards Fle: He that 's before me Sp: What doost want Fle. Money Sp. Nothing else Fle. Yes Sp, What Flei. A good seruice Sp. Shall I preferre thee Flei. I cannot tell t is as I like the man Sp. Nai't shall be to a couple of Gentlewomen of thine owne Countrie Fl. I shall haue enough to doe then I hope I haue heard of one woman hath seru'd ten men but I neuer heard that one man should bee preferred to serue two women before y' are an Englishman Sp. I Fl. So I thought indeede you cannot poyson so well as we Italians but you le finde a meanes to bring a man out of his life as soone Gods light serue two women quoth you Sp. Why thou shalt serue but one yet take thy choice of both Fl, I marry Sir I like when 't comes to choosing Sp. What 's thy name Fle. Fleire Sp: What 's thy profession Fle: I haue euer been a Courtier Sp: A Courtier come Gentlemen I like this fellowe so well that I le prefer him straite Nan Do so you shall doe a deed of charitie in 't Sp. Faire Ladies you le excuse vs Exeunt Su. You haue bin very welcome Gentlemē manent Su Nan Na: Come sister there rests nothing for vs now but this we le get vs mens apparrel and serue them as Pages so shal we hinder them in their marriages and in th' end preferre our selues to be their wiues Su, I like it well come le ts about it presently Exeunt Finis Actus Primi Actus secundus Enter Fleire Solus in a new Suite Fl. I haue not yet bin seauen daies heere and yet I see that grieues my very soule my Daughters my Ladies I must say now make lust labour for their maintenance this foolish natiō wil sel their goods their lands nay their very soules for nights delights and momentarie sportes which like to lightning appeares and vanisheth ere one can say t is come but then repentance sticks close There was a fellow with one of my Ladies this morning and the poore slaue has but seauen shillings a weeke boord wages and yet he has giuen sixe on 't for a bit of extraordinarye flesh well God giue him the grace to pray for a must fast I askd the hot slaue why a did not marrie since a could not bridle his lust and a tolde me a had rather fal into the Surgions mercy then the worldes beggery well I see it cannot be denide mercinarie women are necessarie members they plucke downe the pride of the flesh yet are not proud themselues for thei 'le be as familiar with the men as with the Master they doe as many good deedes as some Fryers that puts one to pennance for his sinnes they put twentie to paines he out of charitie sends one to the Hospital once a yeare they send twentie to the Surgions once a month Say he bids men repent they make a'm repent yet for all this some will call a'm damn'd Puncks well if they bee damn'd thei le not be damn'd gratis like your yong coūtrie Gentlemen nor in hugger mugger like your Citizens wife with her Prentise They can practise without an ouerseer they scorne to haue a Suburbian Baw'd lend am a Taffaty gown they like your common Players let men come in for two pence a peece and yet themselues to haue but the tenth penny like the tenth Pigge yet faith the trade is a good trade They for sweare not themselues in commendation of their wares as your common Tradesmen doe swearing they cannot afford it at the price They are no prouerb breakers beware the buyer say they you shall haue enough for your money if halfe will not serue your turne take the whole measure by your own yard you shal haue Winchester measure I was somewhat bold with one of their Ladiships this morning askt her why women went to the generating sport al the yere since beastes themselues went too 't but once And she answered me because they were women had reason to know what was good for themselues and so had not beasts but soft here comes Signior Petoune Enter Petoune taking Tobacco Pet. O Fleire how doost Fleire Fle. O Signior you may snuffe out your smoke here Signior and saue your oath too heere are no Cuckold makers Pet What are they