walk_v upright_o that_o see_v the_o wonderful_a work_n of_o god_n and_o have_v the_o use_n of_o his_o sense_n and_o reason_n shall_v use_v they_o to_o the_o defy_v of_o his_o creator_n but_o though_o this_o be_v a_o good_a beginning_n towards_o my_o conversion_n to_o find_v my_o conscience_n touch_v for_o my_o sin_n yet_o it_o go_v off_o again_o yet_o all_o my_o life_n long_o i_o have_v a_o secret_a value_n and_o reverence_n for_o a_o honest_a man_n and_o love_a morality_n in_o other_o but_o i_o have_v form_v a_o odd_a scheme_n of_o religion_n to_o myself_o which_o will_v solve_v all_o that_o god_n or_o conscience_n may_v force_v upon_o i_o yet_o i_o be_v not_o ever_o well_o reconcile_v to_o the_o business_n of_o religion_n nor_o have_v that_o reverence_n for_o the_o gospel_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v this_o estate_n of_o mind_n continue_v till_o the_o 53._o chapter_n of_o isaiah_n be_v read_v to_o he_o wherein_o there_o be_v a_o lively_a description_n of_o the_o suffering_n of_o 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such_o a_o serious_a repentance_n as_o he_o be_v he_o faithful_o adhere_v to_o and_o cast_v himself_o entire_o upon_o the_o mercy_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n declare_v to_o repent_v sinner_n through_o he_o with_o a_o thankful_a remembrance_n of_o his_o life_n death_n and_o resurrection_n beg_v of_o god_n to_o strengthen_v his_o faith_n and_o often_o cry_v out_o lord_n i_o believe_v help_v thou_o my_o unbelief_n he_o have_v a_o mighty_a love_n for_o and_o esteem_v of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n which_o he_o have_v former_o too_o much_o slight_v and_o ridicule_v take_v up_o resolution_n to_o read_v they_o frequent_o and_o meditate_v upon_o they_o if_o god_n shall_v spare_v he_o have_v already_o taste_v the_o good_a word_n for_o have_v speak_v to_o his_o heart_n he_o acknowledge_v all_o the_o seem_a absurdity_n and_o contradiction_n thereof_o fancy_v by_o man_n of_o corrupt_a and_o reprobate_a judgement_n be_v vanish_v and_o their_o excellency_n and_o beauty_n appear_v be_v come_v to_o receive_v the_o truth_n in_o the_o love_n of_o it_o he_o be_v extraordinary_a servant_n and_o frequent_a in_o his_o prayer_n and_o supplication_n and_o often_o call_v upon_o other_o to_o pray_v for_o and_o with_o he_o or_o to_o read_v the_o scripture_n to_o he_o and_o towards_o the_o end_n of_o his_o sickness_n will_v hearty_o desire_v god_n to_o pardon_v his_o infirmity_n if_o he_o shall_v not_o be_v so_o wakeful_a &_o intent_n through_o the_o duty_n as_o he_o wish_v to_o be_v and_o that_o though_o the_o flesh_n be_v weak_a yet_o the_o spirit_n be_v willing_a and_o hope_v god_n will_v accept_v that_o he_o continual_o beseech_v god_n by_o his_o grace_n and_o holy_a spirit_n to_o sustain_v he_o and_o to_o keep_v he_o from_o all_o evil_a thought_n from_o all_o temptation_n and_o diabolical_a suggestion_n and_o every_o thing_n that_o may_v be_v prejudicial_a to_o that_o religious_a temper_n of_o mind_n which_o god_n have_v now_o so_o happy_o endue_v he_o 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not_o and_o what_o i_o do_v think_v he_o to_o be_v i_o tell_v he_o that_o i_o have_v read_v in_o the_o scripture_n and_o they_o hold_v he_o out_o to_o be_v the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o that_o he_o come_v to_o seek_v and_o to_o save_v that_o which_o be_v lose_v then_o say_v mr._n young_a unto_o i_o why_o do_v you_o draw_v back_o in_o not_o come_v to_o hear_v the_o word_n i_o tell_v he_o it_o be_v because_o of_o the_o deriding_n of_o the_o people_n i_o but_o say_v mr._n young_a you_o must_v persevere_v and_o hold_v on_o in_o a_o continuance_n open_v some_o scripture_n as_o that_o of_o the_o hebrew_n that_o be_v once_o enlighten_v and_o have_v taste_v the_o good_a word_n and_o of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v if_o that_o soul_n shall_v fall_v away_o then_o there_o will_v be_v nothing_o but_o a_o fearful_a look_v for_o the_o fiery_a indignation_n of_o god_n this_o do_v much_o trouble_v i_o so_o that_o i_o be_v very_o fearful_a to_o be_v damn_v then_o mr._n young_a do_v open_v that_o scripture_n in_o 1_o thess_n 1.4,5_o you_o say_v that_o you_o know_v jesus_n christ_n to_o be_v your_o saviour_n therefore_o take_v heed_n for_o jesus_n shall_v appear_v in_o flame_a fire_n against_o all_o those_o that_o know_v he_o not_o nor_o obey_v not_o his_o gospel_n this_o put_v i_o in_o great_a fear_n and_o horror_n worse_o than_o before_o then_o i_o do_v entreat_v mr._n young_a to_o tell_v i_o what_o the_o gospel_n be_v and_o he_o bid_v i_o read_v in_o the_o first_o of_o matth._n and_o there_o it_o be_v this_o that_o the_o gospel_n be_v the_o glad_a tiding_n to_o the_o shepherd_n that_o it_o be_v the_o good_a will_n of_o god_n to_o send_v jesus_n christ_n to_o save_v sinner_n whereof_o i_o do_v confess_v with_o the_o apostle_n paul_n that_o i_o be_v chief_a mr._n young_a at_o part_v give_v i_o these_o instruction_n that_o i_o shall_v be_v very_o careful_a what_o company_n i_o do_v go_v into_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v always_o remember_v my_o creator_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o youth_n and_o this_o be_v very_o fresh_a in_o my_o memory_n and_o do_v strengthen_v i_o very_o much_o against_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n and_o keep_v i_o from_o frequent_v those_o companion_n that_o i_o do_v former_o use_v and_o if_o at_o any_o time_n i_o meet_v they_o and_o hear_v their_o idle_a word_n than_o this_o scripture_n do_v often_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n remember_v thy_o creator_n in_o the_o day_n of_o thy_o youth_n and_o do_v very_o much_o cheer_v my_o spirit_n and_o carry_v i_o along_o for_o many_o year_n until_o it_o please_v god_n to_o bring_v i_o to_o london_n and_o come_v to_o black_a friar_n under_o the_o ministry_n of_o dr._n gouge_n i_o be_v very_o much_o edify_v for_o two_o year_n together_o but_o come_v to_o live_v at_o westminster_n i_o do_v profit_n but_o little_a again_o until_o it_o please_v god_n to_o send_v mr._n marshal_n and_o hear_v of_o he_o speak_v out_o of_o jeremiah_n 14._o of_o the_o famine_n be_v in_o the_o outward_a man_n but_o there_o be_v the_o famine_n of_o the_o word_n of_o god_n at_o westminster_n it_o make_v i_o very_o attentive_a to_o his_o doctrine_n he_o complain_v what_o a_o barbarous_a place_n westminster_n have_v be_v but_o now_o he_o do_v hope_n that_o the_o word_n of_o god_n will_v take_v effect_n in_o the_o heart_n of_o some_o of_o his_o hearer_n and_o true_o so_o it_o do_v on_o my_o heart_n for_o i_o be_v a_o constant_a hearer_n of_o he_o and_o then_o go_v to_o a_o friend_n family_n i_o hear_v they_o repeat_v the_o note_n that_o they_o have_v take_v from_o master_n marshal_n and_o since_o i_o continue_v with_o that_o company_n of_o godly_a people_n and_o now_o it_o be_v the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o have_v fellowship_n with_o the_o father_n and_o the_o son_n that_o my_o soul_n may_v thrive_v in_o grace_n and_o in_o the_o knowledge_n and_o great_a love_n of_o that_o god_n that_o so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o son_n to_o die_v to_o save_v such_o as_o i_o be_o 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especial_o some_o offence_n and_o wrong_n offer_v against_o the_o people_n of_o god_n insomuch_o that_o the_o terror_n of_o hell_n lay_v hold_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o begin_v with_o cain_n to_o cry_v out_o that_o my_o burden_n be_v more_o than_o i_o be_v able_a to_o bear_v i_o be_v a_o damn_a creature_n i_o be_v ouâ—_n of_o the_o presence_n and_o favour_n of_o god_n and_o never_o like_a to_o see_v his_o face_n with_o comfort_n ready_a with_o judas_n to_o destroy_v myself_o i_o continue_v in_o thiis_fw-la condition_n many_o year_n but_o god_n of_o his_o exceed_a mercy_n keep_v i_o from_o that_o great_a sin_n and_o at_o last_o i_o receive_v some_o comfort_n in_o that_o the_o lord_n proclaim_v himself_o to_o be_v the_o lord_n god_n gracious_a merciful_a long-suffering_a in_o forgive_a sin_n and_o that_o he_o desire_v not_o the_o death_n of_o a_o sinner_n but_o rather_o that_o he_o shall_v live_v and_o again_o he_o say_v if_o our_o sin_n be_v as_o scarlet_a he_o will_v make_v they_o as_o white_a as_o snow_n or_o wool_n again_o i_o be_o the_o lord_n and_o change_v not_o therefore_o you_o son_n of_o jacob_n be_v not_o consume_v these_o with_o many_o other_o promise_n of_o free_a grace_n and_o mercy_n yield_v some_o comfort_n to_o my_o soul_n yet_o for_o a_o long_a time_n i_o be_v trouble_v if_o i_o pray_v i_o fear_v my_o prayer_n be_v a_o abomination_n unto_o the_o lord_n at_o last_o know_v the_o lord_n hear_v the_o ninivites_n that_o be_v heathen_n i_o think_v he_o be_v as_o able_a to_o save_v my_o soul_n and_o it_o have_v be_v my_o care_n to_o wait_v upon_o god_n in_o the_o mean_n know_v that_o faith_n come_v by_o hear_v the_o word_n and_o upon_o all_o occasion_n to_o search_v my_o own_o heart_n what_o part_n of_o the_o word_n belong_v unto_o i_o and_o what_o do_v not_o i_o receive_v some_o comfort_n from_o these_o promise_n i_o will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o and_o weary_a and_o heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n and_o he_o that_o come_v unto_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v off_o these_o gracious_a promise_n cause_v i_o to_o desire_v to_o draw_v near_o to_o god_n in_o union_n and_o in_o communion_n with_o who_o i_o hope_v for_o fellowship_n to_o all_o eternity_n t._n p._n xv._o experience_n of_o m._n w._n when_o i_o live_v in_o ireland_n and_o be_v in_o fullness_n of_o outward_a enjoyment_n i_o have_v my_o thought_n much_o take_v up_o about_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n but_o little_o serious_o touch_v the_o salvation_n of_o my_o soul_n but_o some_o year_n since_o be_v at_o liverpoole_n in_o lancashire_n i_o hear_v a_o sermon_n preach_v by_o mr._n tompson_n his_o text_n be_v redeem_v the_o time_n because_o the_o day_n be_v evil_a many_o thing_n he_o speak_v so_o home_o to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v i_o have_v spend_v so_o many_o day_n in_o evil_a that_o i_o have_v be_v covetous_a and_o proud_a and_o impatient_a in_o the_o former_a day_n of_o my_o life_n yet_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n i_o have_v a_o husband_n that_o be_v a_o honest_a man_n and_o one_o that_o fear_v god_n who_o have_v often_o give_v i_o good_a counsel_n and_o persuade_v i_o to_o make_v some_o promise_n of_o amendment_n but_o i_o have_v child_n and_o servant_n and_o cattle_n and_o live_v plentiful_o in_o ireland_n from_o whence_o i_o have_v late_o come_v with_o my_o husband_n and_o family_n and_o indeed_o there_o have_v be_v no_o real_a conversion_n though_o i_o have_v often_o thought_n towards_o god_n and_o
those_o that_o trust_v in_o he_o i_o have_v some_o comfortable_a hope_n in_o the_o lord_n mercy_n but_o i_o find_v many_o doubt_n still_o yet_o about_o seven_o year_n slince_n master_n tompson_n make_v a_o sermon_n at_o liverpoole_n then_o besiege_v show_v that_o we_o must_v lay_v hold_v on_o the_o lord_n and_o hold_v fast_o and_o be_v will_v lead_v we_o through_o all_o trouble_n and_o soon_o after_o it_o be_v lose_v and_o many_o be_v kill_v but_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v no_o hart_n at_o all_o which_o do_v much_o comfort_v i_o that_o the_o lord_n of_o his_o mercy_n have_v deliver_v i_o i_o do_v and_o still_o do_v hope_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o save_v i_o and_o to_o draw_v i_o near_o to_o himself_o which_o together_o with_o some_o other_o deliverance_n of_o the_o lord_n great_a mercy_n i_o take_v great_a comfort_n in_o so_o that_o when_o i_o have_v scarce_o bread_n and_o water_n and_o i_o have_v be_v straighten_v since_o yet_o i_o find_v still_o comfort_n from_o the_o lord_n for_o iny_n self_n and_o to_o be_v a_o instrument_n to_o help_v other_o who_o be_v prisoner_n and_o the_o lord_n then_o and_o since_o have_v by_o his_o spirit_n comfort_v i_o with_o several_a promise_n which_o i_o praise_v god_n i_o can_v apply_v to_o myself_o by_o which_o i_o have_v a_o testimony_n of_o my_o true_a belief_n some_o of_o which_o be_v these_o which_o follow_v gen._n 15.1_o the_o word_n of_o the_o lord_n come_v unto_o abraham_n in_o a_o vision_n say_v fear_v not_o abraham_n i_o be_o thy_o shield_n and_o thy_o exceed_a great_a reward_n i_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n to_o be_v my_o shield_n in_o those_o many_o deliverance_n he_o have_v wrought_v for_o i_o and_o have_v take_v away_o that_o distrustful_a fear_n which_o before_o be_v upon_o i_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v and_o still_o be_o confident_a he_o will_v be_v my_o exceed_a great_a reward_n psal_n 119.57_o thou_o be_v my_o portion_n o_o lord_n i_o have_v say_v that_o i_o will_v keep_v thy_o word_n the_o same_o god_n wrought_v in_o my_o heart_n to_o say_v with_o david_n that_o i_o will_v keep_v thy_o word_n o_o lord_n and_o though_o i_o can_v as_o i_o shall_v yet_o my_o desire_n be_v to_o keep_v it_o my_o mind_n be_v to_o keep_v it_o therefore_o i_o presume_v with_o david_n to_o say_v thou_o be_v my_o portion_n o_o lord_n john_n 15.5_o christ_n say_v i_o be_o the_o vine_n you_o be_v the_o branch_n he_o that_o abide_v in_o i_o and_o i_o in_o he_o the_o samâ—_n bring_v forth_o much_o fruit_n for_o without_o i_o you_o can_v do_v nothing_o i_o know_v myself_o to_o be_v nothing_o without_o christ_n and_o though_o i_o have_v infirmity_n yet_o my_o heart_n abide_v in_o christ_n and_o therefore_o i_o hope_v to_o find_v righteousness_n and_o salvation_n not_o in_o myself_o but_o in_o christ_n desire_v also_o that_o i_o may_v bring_v forth_o fruit_n as_o a_o branch_n in_o he_o rom._n 8.1_o there_o be_v therefore_o now_o no_o condemnation_n to_o they_o that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n who_o walk_v not_o after_o the_o flesh_n but_o after_o the_o spirit_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v one_o of_o those_o who_o walk_v in_o my_o heart_n in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n to_o which_o i_o be_o lead_v by_o his_o spirit_n and_o not_o after_o the_o flesh_n and_o though_o i_o can_v serve_v god_n so_o well_o as_o i_o will_v i_o do_v as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v and_o be_o trouble_v in_o my_o spirit_n for_o my_o fail_n and_o therefore_o i_o believe_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v condemn_v and_o i_o have_v these_o testimony_n of_o my_o conversion_n and_o sincere_a love_n to_o god_n as_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o faith_n 1._o the_o lord_n have_v by_o his_o spirit_n manifest_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o the_o wisdom_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v life_n and_o peace_n and_o have_v wrought_v that_o peace_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v any_o way_n to_o break_v from_o it_o for_o any_o other_o enjoyment_n whatsoever_o 2._o this_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v build_v upon_o that_o i_o may_v find_v christ_n to_o be_v my_o life_n and_o peace_n 3._o i_o find_v that_o the_o lord_n have_v great_o wrought_v upon_o i_o and_o my_o mind_n be_v full_o affect_v with_o the_o lord_n out_o of_o who_o i_o do_v not_o care_n for_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n 4._o my_o desire_n be_v whole_o to_o serve_v god_n and_o leave_v all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o vain_a trifle_n for_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o he_o 5._o my_o love_n be_v so_o much_o to_o god_n in_o christ_n that_o have_v he_o i_o know_v i_o have_v all_o thing_n and_o without_o he_o i_o have_v nothing_o 6._o i_o find_v that_o i_o have_v great_a comfort_n and_o be_o much_o refresh_v by_o ordinance_n a_o sense_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v frequent_o bring_v upon_o my_o heart_n and_o i_o have_v receive_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o comfort_n therein_o when_o i_o have_v be_v weak_a and_o it_o have_v be_v a_o refresh_n to_o i_o when_o food_n have_v be_v scant_o and_o particular_o from_o several_a serinons_n preach_v by_o mr._n whitaker_n mr._n marshal_n mr._n carter_n and_o other_o as_o also_o mr._n p._n dr._n homes_n mr._n w._n and_o at_o other_o meeting_n of_o godly_a people_n 7._o i_o find_v that_o the_o comfort_n of_o the_o ordinance_n be_v more_o sweet_a to_o i_o than_o all_o the_o pleasure_n riches_n or_o friend_n in_o the_o world_n for_o they_o be_v content_v comfort_n and_o so_o be_v not_o worldly_a thing_n 8._o i_o can_v find_v in_o my_o heart_n willing_o to_o die_v and_o leave_v child_n brother_n sister_n and_o all_o the_o world_n beside_o to_o go_v to_o my_o christ_n j._n b._n xxi_o experience_n of_o a._n j._n when_o it_o please_v god_n to_o call_v my_o husband_n from_o i_o i_o be_v for_o a_o time_n aâ—_n exceed_o cast_v down_o and_o trouble_v as_o i_o think_v any_o poor_a creature_n can_v be_v in_o which_o i_o be_v so_o overwhelm_v that_o i_o do_v not_o know_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o nor_o what_o to_o do_v yet_o be_v seek_v the_o lord_n to_o find_v out_o what_o be_v his_o mind_n in_o the_o thing_n i_o have_v lose_v a_o good_a estate_n have_v no_o body_n to_o look_v after_o my_o business_n have_v many_o injure_v i_o and_o have_v lose_v above_o the_o rest_n a_o pious_a husband_n who_o i_o entire_o love_v yet_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o into_o my_o heart_n that_o all_o this_o be_v to_o wean_v i_o from_o my_o sin_n and_o too_o much_o dote_v upon_o a_o husband_n and_o other_o worldly_a enjoyment_n which_o my_o heart_n be_v too_o much_o take_v up_o with_o therefore_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o strip_v i_o of_o they_o in_o a_o great_a measure_n to_o bring_v i_o near_o to_o himself_o i_o go_v to_o divers_a place_n to_o hear_v several_a minister_n and_o by_o wait_v upon_o the_o ordinance_n to_o seek_v after_o the_o lord_n if_o possible_a i_o may_v find_v comfort_n and_o satisfaction_n to_o my_o soul_n herein_o but_o continue_v in_o much_o affliction_n upon_o my_o spirit_n for_o near_o a_o year_n time_n at_o last_o i_o hear_v master_n jenkins_n preach_v out_o of_o the_o 21._o chapter_n of_o john_n the_o 18._o and_o 19_o verse_n very_o very_o i_o say_v unto_o thou_o when_o thou_o be_v young_a thou_o gird_v thyself_o and_o walkedst_a whether_o thou_o will_v but_o when_o thou_o shall_v be_v old_a thou_o shall_v stretch_v forth_o thy_o hand_n and_o another_o shall_v gird_v thou_o and_o carry_v thou_o whither_o thou_o will_v not_o this_o speak_v be_v signify_v by_o what_o death_n he_o shall_v glorify_v god_n the_o consideration_n of_o which_o dispensation_n from_o god_n to_o he_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_v with_o whatsoever_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o lay_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o be_v satisfy_v to_o suffer_v or_o bear_v any_o thing_n in_o that_o it_o be_v the_o lord_n will_v to_o glorify_v himself_o by_o such_o dispensation_n towards_o the_o saint_n and_o the_o lord_n have_v since_o make_v i_o as_o he_o do_v david_n to_o be_v content_v as_o well_o with_o his_o rod_n as_o with_o his_o staff_n and_o then_o and_o since_o i_o praise_v the_o lord_n i_o can_v say_v with_o david_n it_o be_v well_o for_o i_o that_o i_o be_v afflict_v i_o be_v comfort_v with_o that_o example_n of_o â—he_n woman_n in_o the_o gospel_n to_o who_o it_o be_v say_v by_o christ_n that_o it_o be_v not_o lawful_a to_o take_v the_o child_n bread_n and_o cast_v it_o to_o dog_n in_o that_o i_o can_v say_v with_o she_o truth_n lord_n have_v the_o dog_n may_v lick_v the_o crumb_n that_o fall_v from_o their_o master_n table_n i_o remember_v god_n dispensation_n towards_o job_n and_o david_n and_o resolve_v with_o
those_o many_o actual_a sin_n which_o i_o have_v personal_o commit_v but_o i_o be_o justify_v by_o christ_n 14._o i_o desire_v to_o show_v my_o dutiful_a love_n in_o obedience_n to_o my_o father_n command_n and_o my_o affection_n according_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n to_o christ_n my_o husband_n with_o who_o i_o be_o spiritual_o marry_v 15._o the_o lord_n say_v come_v out_o from_o among_o they_o all_o you_o my_o people_n and_o be_v you_o separate_v and_o touch_v no_o unclean_a thing_n and_o i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n and_o you_o shall_v be_v my_o people_n and_o if_o i_o regard_v iniquity_n in_o my_o heart_n the_o lord_n will_v not_o hear_v my_o prayer_n i_o take_v god_n to_o witness_v who_o know_v the_o secret_n of_o all_o heart_n that_o i_o desire_v to_o join_v in_o duty_n not_o to_o the_o end_n that_o other_o shall_v have_v a_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o i_o know_v i_o must_v leave_v all_o worldly_a relation_n how_o soon_o i_o know_v not_o but_o herein_o i_o shall_v have_v peace_n that_o i_o do_v as_o my_o father_n have_v command_v i_o and_o i_o rejoice_v in_o christ_n jesus_n put_v no_o confidence_n in_o the_o flesh_n but_o only_o in_o the_o merit_n of_o my_o saviour_n m._n m._n xxvi_o experience_n of_o h._n w._n when_o my_o god_n appear_v through_o his_o grace_n to_o shine_v by_o his_o sacred_a spirit_n into_o my_o dark_a soul_n my_o thought_n be_v much_o take_v up_o in_o consideration_n of_o my_o sad_a and_o deplorable_a condition_n under_o the_o curse_n by_o nature_n yet_o so_o that_o i_o do_v withal_o see_v enough_o in_o christ_n to_o deliver_v i_o from_o all_o if_o i_o do_v attain_v to_o a_o true_a belief_n but_o my_o perplex_a soul_n drink_v deep_a of_o the_o bitter_a dregs_n of_o a_o sorrowful_a cup_n before_o i_o can_v taste_v of_o the_o sweet_a cordial_n my_o bless_a saviour_n have_v prepare_v for_o i_o wherewith_o i_o have_v since_o be_v often_o refresh_v my_o conscience_n tell_v i_o that_o if_o i_o ever_o expect_v deliverance_n from_o sin_n death_n and_o hell_n and_o to_o have_v favour_n with_o god_n i_o must_v devote_v my_o heart_n to_o he_o alone_o but_o yet_o i_o find_v the_o love_n of_o some_o worldly_a vanity_n root_v so_o fast_o in_o my_o affection_n that_o i_o do_v often_o put_v god_n off_o and_o have_v a_o eye_n to_o some_o worldly_a content_n which_o deprive_v i_o for_o that_o time_n of_o enjoy_v peace_n in_o his_o presence_n i_o often_o say_v lord_n such_o a_o day_n i_o will_v leave_v all_o and_o never_o seek_v myself_o but_o thy_o glory_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o then_o again_o lord_n after_o such_o a_o merry_a meeting_n than_o i_o will_v shake_v hand_n with_o all_o temporal_a delight_n and_o again_o now_o lord_n once_o more_o i_o will_v have_v but_o one_o day_n of_o pleasure_n and_o then_o i_o will_v part_v with_o all_o that_o offend_v thou_o and_o not_o seek_v after_o any_o thing_n out_o of_o thou_o more_o but_o for_o a_o time_n all_o this_o prove_v but_o unfaithfulness_n to_o my_o saviour_n and_o wound_n to_o my_o own_o spirit_n the_o sense_n whereof_o do_v sad_o terrify_v my_o conscience_n my_o soul_n be_v much_o cast_v down_o and_o i_o sit_v up_o a_o great_a part_n of_o many_o night_n when_o all_o the_o family_n where_o i_o than_o live_v be_v in_o bed_n and_o with_o a_o heavy_a heart_n and_o flood_n of_o tear_n gush_v from_o my_o sorrowful_a eye_n i_o be_v exceed_o disquiet_v pour_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o my_o god_n and_o beg_a mercy_n at_o the_o footstool_n of_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o that_o which_o be_v the_o great_a horror_n upon_o my_o spirit_n be_v that_o i_o can_v not_o manifest_v my_o believe_v by_o a_o pious_a spiritual_a conversation_n in_o a_o faithful_a obedience_n according_a to_o the_o sacred_a rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n when_o i_o have_v have_v resolution_n for_o worldly_a pleasure_n to_o satisfy_v the_o desire_n of_o nature_n it_o have_v take_v away_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o heart_n from_o spiritual_a duty_n in_o the_o interim_n but_o i_o find_v in_o my_o soul_n a_o great_a conffict_n in_o wrestle_v against_o those_o sad_a temptation_n my_o conscience_n convince_a i_o how_o great_a a_o enemy_n i_o be_v to_o my_o soul_n therein_o and_o testify_v that_o it_o will_v be_v infinite_o better_a to_o leave_v all_o the_o vain_a thing_n of_o the_o world_n than_o to_o live_v without_o the_o love_n of_o my_o saviour_n but_o when_o my_o god_n be_v please_v to_o bring_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o frame_n to_o resolve_v serious_o never_o to_o delay_v with_o god_n a_o moment_n more_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o fix_v on_o my_o saviour_n that_o i_o see_v a_o sufficiency_n in_o he_o under_o any_o dispensation_n i_o taste_v a_o great_a sweetness_n in_o the_o grace_n of_o his_o spirit_n than_o in_o any_o temporal_a pleasure_n and_o i_o find_v much_o of_o the_o love_n grace_n spirit_n and_o power_n of_o my_o dear_a saviour_n appear_v to_o refresh_v my_o trouble_a soul_n and_o i_o have_v find_v much_o comfort_n from_o divers_a promise_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o particular_o isa_n 49.8,8_o i_o will_v preserve_v thou_o and_o give_v thou_o for_o a_o covenant_n of_o the_o people_n to_o establish_v the_o earth_n and_o to_o cause_n to_o inherit_v the_o desolate_a heritage_n that_o thou_o may_v say_v to_o the_o prisoner_n go_v forth_o to_o they_o that_o be_v in_o darkness_n show_v yourselves_o though_o i_o be_v before_o a_o prisoner_n to_o worldly_a vanity_n and_o shut_v up_o in_o darkness_n yet_o christ_n be_v send_v to_o declare_v the_o covenant_n to_o such_o i_o find_v good_a warrant_n to_o apply_v it_o to_o myself_o ezek._n 34.22_o therefore_o will_v i_o save_v my_o flock_n and_o they_o shall_v be_v no_o more_o a_o prey_n tâ—…_n salvation_n i_o apply_v as_o promise_v to_o i_o consider_v that_o though_o i_o be_v a_o sinful_a man_n yet_o it_o be_v my_o comfort_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v my_o god_n vers_fw-la 31._o and_o you_o my_o flock_n the_o flock_n of_o my_o pasture_n be_v man_n and_o i_o be_o your_o god_n mat._n 5.6_o bless_a be_v they_o which_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v fill_v god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o my_o saviour_n and_o my_o god_n above_o all_o thing_n i_o believe_v this_o promise_n be_v make_v to_o i_o with_o many_o more_o which_o give_v much_o sweet_a comfort_n and_o consolation_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o be_v justify_v by_o faith_n i_o have_v peace_n with_o god_n through_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o testimony_n of_o which_o faith_n be_v seal_v to_o my_o soul_n by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n in_o these_o demonstration_n 1._o i_o find_v many_o evident_a testimony_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n to_o i_o which_o have_v draw_v forth_o my_o soul_n to_o a_o high_a esteem_n of_o he_o and_o to_o love_v he_o above_o all_o thing_n 2._o i_o see_v nothing_o but_o sin_n in_o myself_o and_o my_o trust_n be_v in_o my_o saviour_n merit_n for_o justification_n 3._o i_o feel_v glorious_a refreshment_n from_o the_o heavenly_a gale_n of_o god_n bless_a spirit_n breathe_v his_o grace_n into_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v the_o high_a bliss_n i_o can_v desire_v on_o this_o side_n heaven_n 4._o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n from_o the_o word_n and_o ordinance_n 5._o my_o chief_a desire_n in_o all_o thing_n be_v to_o glorify_v god_n 6._o i_o find_v a_o very_a great_a affection_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o people_n of_o god_n or_o any_o that_o i_o judge_v so_o to_o be_v 7._o i_o desire_v to_o be_v at_o peace_n with_o and_o do_v all_o the_o good_a i_o can_v to_o all_o especial_o those_o of_o the_o household_n of_o faith_n 8._o i_o can_v hearty_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n to_o give_v i_o deliverance_n from_o and_o strength_n against_o every_o sin_n though_o never_o so_o please_v to_o my_o nature_n or_o which_o i_o be_o most_o prone_a to_o 9_o i_o find_v no_o such_o full_a joy_n in_o any_o thing_n as_o i_o do_v in_o communion_n with_o my_o god_n 10._o i_o see_v a_o purity_n and_o glory_n in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o gospel-duty_n above_o all_o thing_n 11._o i_o desire_v no_o long_o to_o live_v than_o to_o glorify_v god_n 12._o all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o appoint_a time_n i_o wait_v till_o my_o change_n shall_v come_v h._n w._n xxvii_o experience_n of_o d._n r._n it_o have_v please_v the_o lord_n ever_o since_o i_o know_v a_o difference_n between_o good_a and_o evil_n to_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o seek_v after_o those_o thing_n which_o savour_v most_o of_o god_n and_o it_o be_v my_o delight_n always_o to_o frequent_v the_o society_n of_o those_o who_o i_o think_v be_v true_o godly_a and_o upon_o this_o account_n i_o think_v
myself_o to_o be_v something_o when_o be_v serious_o weigh_v i_o become_v nothing_o for_o i_o know_v god_n but_o as_o a_o natural_a man_n do_v even_o by_o way_n of_o discourse_n i_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v since_o much_o in_o the_o posture_n of_o the_o proud_a pharisee_fw-mi i_o can_v say_v i_o thank_v god_n i_o be_v not_o such_o a_o person_n as_o be_v give_v to_o lewdness_n or_o vice_n as_o other_o be_v and_o be_v thus_o in_o my_o natural_a condition_n i_o think_v i_o have_v need_n of_o nothing_o when_o i_o be_v as_o the_o church_n of_o the_o laodicean_n wretched_a and_o miserable_a and_o poor_a and_o blind_a and_o naked_a and_o that_o which_o be_v worst_a i_o know_v not_o that_o i_o be_v thus_o in_o ignorance_n walk_v in_o darkness_n till_o the_o lord_n bring_v i_o forth_o into_o the_o light_n first_o by_o convince_a i_o of_o sin_n second_o convince_v i_o of_o righteousness_n the_o first_o be_v according_a to_o my_o remembrance_n about_o seven_o or_o eight_o year_n since_o i_o be_v in_o discourse_n with_o a_o friend_n concern_v something_o which_o do_v much_o displease_v i_o wherein_o my_o answer_n be_v very_o cross_a and_o my_o word_n very_o full_a of_o anger_n i_o begin_v to_o espy_v myself_o full_a of_o malice_n and_o envy_n which_o do_v much_o reflect_v upon_o my_o own_o heart_n and_o cause_v a_o wonderful_a grief_n unto_o i_o and_o have_v never_o take_v notice_n of_o any_o such_o thing_n before_o it_o be_v so_o much_o the_o more_o strange_a to_o i_o but_o call_v myself_o to_o a_o strict_a examination_n what_o foundation_n i_o have_v lay_v when_o the_o building_n begin_v to_o prove_v so_o rot_v it_o please_v the_o lord_n that_o thereby_o i_o grow_v more_o and_o more_o sensible_a of_o my_o own_o miserable_a condition_n as_o be_v in_o the_o state_n of_o nature_n a_o child_n of_o wrath_n find_v myself_o a_o lump_n of_o sin_n and_o uncleanness_n and_o at_o a_o far_a distance_n from_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o to_o be_v in_o probability_n of_o nothing_o so_o much_o as_o of_o damnation_n and_o ready_a to_o be_v cast_v into_o hell_n for_o my_o sin_n find_v myself_o out_o of_o christ_n and_o not_o any_o hope_n that_o i_o shall_v ever_o gain_v a_o interest_n in_o he_o for_o i_o see_v that_o without_o faith_n it_o be_v impossible_a to_o please_v he_o and_o that_o without_o faith_n i_o can_v not_o think_v of_o any_o way_n to_o please_v he_o be_v lose_v in_o false_a way_n of_o my_o own_o invention_n and_o consider_v also_o that_o paul_n counsel_v the_o corinthian_n to_o examine_v themselves_o whether_o they_o be_v in_o the_o faith_n and_o say_v he_o know_v you_o not_o your_o own_o self_n whether_o jesus_n christ_n be_v in_o you_o except_o you_o be_v reprobate_n and_o follow_v this_o course_n i_o can_v not_o otherwise_o judge_v but_o that_o i_o be_v a_o reprobate_n and_o this_o condition_n be_v very_o burdensome_a unto_o my_o spirit_n and_o neither_o in_o hear_v or_o read_v can_v i_o for_o the_o time_n find_v any_o ease_n of_o this_o my_o trouble_n but_o still_o i_o do_v apprehend_v the_o lord_n as_o a_o angry_a judge_n require_v satisfaction_n of_o i_o for_o my_o sin_n thus_o i_o languish_v not_o know_v which_o way_n to_o steer_v my_o thought_n but_o oftentimes_o cry_v out_o to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v sometime_o i_o shall_v persuade_v myself_o it_o be_v altogether_o impossible_a for_o i_o to_o think_v of_o be_v save_v or_o ever_o to_o gain_v so_o much_o faith_n as_o to_o believe_v that_o christ_n die_v for_o my_o sin_n for_o i_o think_v it_o will_v be_v a_o very_a great_a presumption_n in_o i_o to_o attempt_v any_o such_o thing_n have_v often_o have_v thought_n of_o destroy_v myself_o it_o be_v my_o desire_n that_o i_o may_v never_o forget_v the_o providence_n of_o god_n in_o keep_v i_o from_o all_o danger_n in_o this_o my_o extreme_a doubtful_a condition_n wherein_o i_o make_v not_o any_o one_o acquaint_v with_o my_o trouble_n but_o the_o lord_n who_o work_n it_o be_v to_o deliver_v i_o in_o this_o my_o spiritual_a londage_n when_o i_o have_v hear_v godly_a man_n encourage_v poor_a soul_n to_o believe_v in_o christ_n i_o have_v think_v that_o other_o might_n but_o i_o dare_v not_o presume_v because_o i_o be_v no_o better_o qualify_v for_o if_o i_o can_v find_v myself_o more_o holy_a or_o more_o godly_a or_o full_a of_o goodness_n than_o there_o will_v be_v some_o hope_n that_o i_o may_v believe_v and_o hope_v for_o the_o favour_n of_o god_n and_o that_o christ_n die_v for_o i_o but_o afterward_o god_n put_v into_o my_o heart_n to_o consider_v that_o see_v by_o the_o deed_n of_o the_o law_n no_o flesh_n can_v be_v justify_v for_o i_o think_v before_o i_o must_v have_v do_v something_o that_o shall_v have_v prove_v meritorious_a and_o begin_v to_o be_v acquaint_v with_o a_o emptiness_n in_o myself_o and_o a_o inability_n of_o my_o own_o to_o do_v any_o good_a and_o find_v that_o it_o must_v be_v give_v i_o from_o the_o lord_n christ_n be_v all_o in_o all_o to_o the_o saint_n upon_o this_o consideration_n i_o cast_v myself_o upon_o god_n say_v lord_n i_o be_o thy_o workmanship_n do_v with_o i_o what_o seem_v good_a unto_o thou_o if_o thou_o do_v damn_v i_o i_o have_v deserve_v the_o severe_a of_o thy_o judgement_n thou_o be_v just_a although_o i_o be_o for_o ever_o just_o miserable_a and_o one_o day_n read_v of_o mr._n perkins_n his_o book_n treat_v of_o the_o small_a degree_n of_o saving-faith_n which_o do_v express_v that_o a_o desire_n to_o believe_v be_v faith_n itself_o i_o be_v something_o comfort_v to_o hear_v of_o this_o know_v that_o none_o can_v more_o desire_v it_o than_o i_o do_v and_o upon_o this_o a_o while_n i_o rest_v satisfy_v but_o not_o long_o after_o i_o find_v it_o a_o reed_n whereon_o i_o have_v lean_v and_o grow_v again_o very_o restless_a and_o be_v beat_v off_o from_o this_o stay_n by_o have_v the_o opportunity_n of_o another_o book_n which_o make_v i_o to_o understand_v that_o the_o poor_a man_n know_v full_a well_o that_o a_o desire_n to_o be_v rich_a and_o to_o be_v rich_a indeed_o be_v two_o several_a thing_n and_o so_o a_o desire_n to_o believe_v and_o faith_n itself_o be_v not_o the_o same_o for_o as_o all_o that_o desire_v to_o be_v rich_a be_v not_o rich_a so_o all_o that_o desire_v to_o believe_v do_v not_o believe_v be_v thus_o drive_v from_o my_o other_o principle_n i_o begin_v to_o see_v a_o more_o emptiness_n in_o the_o creature_n and_o a_o great_a fullness_n in_o the_o creator_n and_o this_o last_o book_n by_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n through_o his_o grace_n do_v inform_v my_o judgement_n in_o many_o thing_n which_o be_v very_o comfortable_a to_o i_o as_o that_o the_o love_n of_o god_n be_v the_o cause_n christ_n be_v give_v for_o sinner_n and_o that_o he_o become_v a_o full_a satisfaction_n to_o god_n for_o sin_n and_o if_o we_o stay_v from_o christ_n till_o we_o be_v full_a of_o good_a work_n it_o may_v be_v a_o symptom_n we_o shall_v never_o believe_v for_o it_o show_v that_o we_o must_v be_v ingraft_v into_o christ_n by_o faith_n before_o we_o can_v bring_v forth_o good_a fruit_n for_o without_o i_o you_o can_v do_v nothing_o say_v christ_n and_o whatsoever_o be_v not_o of_o faith_n be_v sin_n these_o and_o many_o such_o like_a expression_n in_o the_o scripture_n which_o god_n put_v into_o my_o mind_n be_v very_o comfortable_a to_o the_o refresh_n of_o my_o dull_a and_o weary_a spirit_n many_o time_n but_o yet_o fear_n in_o interval_n possess_v i_o as_o not_o find_v christ_n to_o be_v make_v i_o by_o faith_n for_o i_o can_v not_o say_v in_o particular_a that_o god_n be_v my_o god_n nor_o see_v that_o there_o be_v a_o reconcilement_n make_v between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n sometime_o i_o will_v persuade_v my_o heart_n to_o venture_v to_o believe_v in_o christ_n for_o the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o present_o objection_n will_v thwart_v my_o resolution_n by_o conclude_v that_o i_o be_v too_o great_a a_o sinner_n and_o it_o be_v not_o absolute_o say_v that_o christ_n die_v for_o i_o in_o this_o condition_n i_o be_v for_o about_o four_o year_n before_o i_o do_v thorough_o apprehend_v the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n jesus_n unto_o i_o yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v at_o last_o to_o work_v effectual_o upon_o i_o by_o many_o sweet_a promise_n out_o of_o his_o word_n which_o do_v wonderful_o rejoice_v my_o soul_n as_o john_n 13.15,16_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o the_o son_n shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n this_o very_a word_n whosoever_o do_v work_v so_o kind_o and_o with_o such_o a_o sweet_a efficacy_n upon_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o be_v constrain_v
gracious_a than_o great_a and_o have_v rather_o be_v the_o holy_a man_n upon_o earth_n than_o the_o most_o learned_a the_o most_o famous_a or_o the_o most_o prosperous_a his_o joy_n be_v change_v he_o now_o rejoice_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n testimony_n more_o than_o in_o all_o riches_n he_o delight_v in_o the_o law_n of_o the_o lord_n of_o which_o he_o former_o have_v little_a savour_n he_o have_v no_o such_o joy_n as_o in_o the_o thought_n of_o christ_n and_o fruition_n of_o his_o company_n forever_o his_o ear_n and_o fear_n be_v alter_v he_o be_v once_o careful_a about_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n but_o now_o his_o great_a solicitude_n be_v how_o to_o secure_v his_o soul_n and_o everlasting_a concern_v he_o use_v to_o fear_v nothing_o so_o much_o as_o the_o loss_n of_o his_o estate_n reputation_n friend_n or_o pleasure_n nothing_o sound_v so_o terrible_a to_o he_o as_o pain_n poverty_n or_o disgrace_n now_o these_o be_v little_a to_o he_o in_o comparison_n with_o the_o dishonour_n and_o displeasure_n of_o god_n it_o pierce_v his_o heart_n to_o think_v of_o lose_v god_n favour_n or_o of_o be_v part_v from_o his_o bless_a saviour_n his_o love_n run_v a_o new_a course_n and_o he_o like_o the_o ancient_a father_n can_v scarce_o find_v word_n sweet_a enough_o to_o express_v his_o affection_n to_o his_o well_o belove_a jesus_n let_v i_o see_v thou_o o_o light_n of_o my_o eye_n come_v o_o thou_o joy_v of_o my_o spirit_n let_v i_o behold_v thou_o o_o the_o gladness_n of_o my_o heart_n let_v i_o love_v thou_o o_o light_n of_o my_o soul_n appear_v unto_o i_o o_o my_o chief_a delight_n my_o sweet_a comforter_n o_o my_o god_n my_o life_n &_o the_o whole_a glory_n of_o my_o soul_n let_v i_o find_v thou_o o_o desire_n of_o my_o heart_n let_v i_o hold_v thou_o o_o love_n of_o my_o soul_n let_v i_o embrace_v thou_o and_o possess_v thou_o o_o heavenly_a bridegroom_n his_o sorrow_n have_v now_o a_o vent_n by_o the_o view_n of_o his_o sin_n the_o sight_n of_o a_o crucify_a christ_n which_o do_v scarce_o move_v he_o before_o how_o much_o do_v 〈◊〉_d affect_v his_o heart_n his_o hatred_n boil_v his_o anger_n 〈◊〉_d against_o sin_n all_o the_o faculty_n and_o member_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o body_n that_o be_v former_o instrument_n of_o sin_n be_v now_o become_v the_o holy_a utensil_n of_o christ_n live_a temple_n that_o eye_n which_o be_v once_o wander_v wanton_a haughty_a and_o cavetous_a be_v now_o employ_v as_o ave-mary_n weep_v over_o his_o sin_n in_o behold_v god_n in_o his_o work_n in_o read_v his_o word_n in_o search_v for_o object_n of_o charity_n and_o mercy_n and_o seek_v all_o opportunity_n to_o do_v he_o service_n that_o ear_n that_o be_v open_v to_o satan_n call_n and_o like_o a_o vitiate_a appetite_n relish_v nothing_o better_a than_o filthy_a or_o at_o least_o srothy_a unprofitable_a discourse_n and_o the_o laughter_n of_o fool_n be_v now_o bear_v to_o hear_v the_o sweet_a voice_n of_o jesus_n and_o be_v open_a to_o his_o teach_n it_o now_o say_v speak_v lord_n for_o thy_o servant_n hear_v and_o wait_v for_o his_o word_n as_o the_o rain_n which_o be_v sweet_a to_o he_o than_o the_o honey_n and_o the_o hovey_n comb_n or_o his_o appoint_a food_n that_o head_n which_o be_v fill_v with_o carnal_a contrivance_n and_o design_n be_v now_o employ_v in_o matter_n of_o great_a concern_n and_o study_n how_o it_o may_v perform_v the_o will_n of_o god_n his_o thought_n be_v now_o more_o intent_n about_o his_o duty_n than_o his_o gain_n and_o his_o principal_a business_n be_v how_o be_v may_v please_v god_n and_o avoid_v sin_n his_o heart_n which_o be_v full_a of_o pollution_n and_o defilement_n be_v now_o become_v a_o altar_n of_o divine_a incense_n where_o the_o fire_n of_o celestial_a love_n be_v continual_o burn_v and_o from_o whence_o the_o daily_a sacrifice_n of_o prayer_n and_o praise_n and_o the_o sweet_a perfume_n of_o holy_a desire_n ejaculation_n and_o soliloquy_n be_v constant_o ascend_v his_o mouth_n be_v become_v a_o well_o spring_n of_o life_n his_o tongue_n be_v as_o choice_a silver_n &_o his_o lip_n feed_v many_o now_o the_o salt_n of_o heavenly_a grace_n have_v season_v his_o speech_n and_o purge_v out_o all_o its_o corruption_n have_v cleanse_v it_o from_o its_o former_a filthy_a communication_n flatery_a boast_v rail_a lie_a swear_v backbiting_a which_o once_o issue_v out_o like_a flash_n of_o infornal_a fire_n from_o the_o hell_n that_o be_v in_o his_o heart_n his_o throat_n that_o be_v once_o a_o open_a sepulchre_n now_o send_v forth_o the_o sweet_a breath_n of_o prayer_n and_o holy_a discourse_n and_o the_o man_n speak_v in_o another_o tongue_n even_o the_o language_n of_o canaan_n and_o be_v never_o so_o well_o please_v as_o when_o talk_v of_o god_n christ_n and_o the_o glorious_a thing_n of_o another_o world_n his_o â—…outh_n bring_v forth_o wisdom_n and_o his_o tongue_n be_v become_v the_o silver_n trumpet_n of_o his_o maker_n praise_n and_o glory_n to_o conlude_v his_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n and_o the_o new_a man_n take_v a_o new_a course_n in_o his_o life_n and_o practice_n when_o god_n have_v give_v he_o the_o new_a heart_n and_o write_v his_o law_n in_o his_o mind_n he_o forthwith_o walk_v in_o his_o statute_n and_o keep_v his_o judgement_n and_o though_o sin_n like_o a_o wearisome_a and_o unwelcome_a guest_n god_n know_v dwell_v in_o he_o yet_o it_o have_v no_o more_o dominion_n over_o he_o he_o have_v his_o fruit_n unto_o holinese_n and_o though_o he_o have_v many_o a_o fall_n yet_o the_o law_n and_o life_n of_o jesus_n be_v his_o rule_n and_o he_o have_v a_o unfeigned_a respect_n to_o all_o god_n commandment_n and_o keep_v a_o good_a conscience_n willing_a in_o all_o thing_n to_o live_v honest_o and_o without_o offence_n towards_o god_n and_o men._n in_o such_o a_o state_n as_o this_o no_o doubt_n be_v those_o eminent_a christian_n who_o make_v the_o follow_v solemn_a declaration_n of_o the_o gracious_a experience_n which_o they_o have_v of_o the_o exceed_a love_n &_o favour_n of_o god_n to_o their_o soul_n in_o support_v they_o under_o their_o doubt_n and_o difficulty_n and_o afterward_o confirm_v their_o mind_n in_o the_o good_a way_n of_o the_o lord_n they_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n to_o be_v merciful_a and_o full_a of_o goodness_n compassion_n and_o truth_n and_o therefore_o think_v that_o they_o ought_v with_o their_o mouth_n to_o show_v forth_o his_o praise_n both_o to_o stir_v up_o they_o to_o join_v with_o they_o therein_o and_o likewise_o to_o encourage_v poor_a distress_a disconsolate_a christian_n to_o put_v their_o trust_n in_o the_o almighty_a since_o if_o they_o persevere_v sincere_o in_o seek_v his_o face_n he_o will_v certain_o at_o length_n discover_v himself_o unto_o they_o and_o fill_v their_o heart_n with_o joy_n and_o gladness_n and_o it_o may_v be_v reasonable_o hope_v that_o these_o heavenly_a experience_n will_v be_v very_o effectual_a and_o conducive_a thereunto_o since_o they_o consist_v of_o such_o variety_n of_o trial_n temptation_n and_o exercise_n of_o spirit_n that_o we_o can_v scarce_o suppose_v but_o the_o most_o disquiet_v despair_v soul_n way_n here_o meet_v with_o case_n as_o dark_a and_o comfortless_a as_o his_o own_o and_z and_o likewise_o find_v what_o a_o good_a end_n the_o lord_n in_o his_o due_a time_n bring_v all_o the_o trouble_n of_o his_o afflict_a child_n unto_o and_o for_o this_o purpose_n no_o doubt_n they_o be_v first_o collect_v and_o publish_v some_o year_n since_o by_o divers_a faithful_a and_o pious_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n in_o and_o about_o london_n and_o though_o they_o have_v omit_v the_o name_n of_o the_o person_n because_o no_o glory_v shall_v appear_v therein_o yet_o they_o be_v then_o know_v to_o be_v christian_n who_o have_v true_o taste_v &_o see_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a now_o that_o the_o god_n of_o all_o peace_n and_o consolation_n may_v give_v his_o blessing_n hereunto_o be_v the_o hearty_a and_o earnest_a prayer_n and_o desire_n of_o he_o who_o be_v a_o well_o wisher_n to_o the_o soul_n of_o men._n w._n d._n mercy_n triumphant_a in_o the_o conversion_n of_o sinner_n to_o god_n discover_v in_o the_o remarkable_a and_o gracious_a experience_n of_o several_a eminent_a christian_n i._o experience_n of_o mr._n j._n r._n minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n before_o i_o give_v a_o account_n of_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o shall_v brief_o discover_v the_o duty_n and_o usefulness_n of_o communicate_v christian_n experience_n 1._o it_o be_v a_o duty_n because_o it_o have_v be_v the_o practice_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o former_a age_n when_o our_o bless_a saviour_n have_v cleanse_v the_o leper_n matth._n 8.4_o he_o bid_v he_o go_v and_o show_v it_o for_o a_o testimony_n and_o matth._n 28.7_o the_o angel_n
by_o mary_n magdalen_n go_v quick_o and_o tell_v the_o disciple_n that_o christ_n who_o they_o seek_v be_v rise_v and_o verse_n 10._o christ_n meet_v with_o the_o two_o ave-mary_n renew_v the_o precept_n go_v tell_v my_o brethren_n etc._n etc._n for_o now_o you_o know_v it_o and_o have_v see_v i_o and_o can_v assure_o say_v that_o i_o be_o rise_v and_o in_o joel_n 1.3_o tell_v your_o child_n and_o let_v your_o child_n tell_v their_o child_n and_o their_o child_n another_o generation_n and_o this_o be_v observe_v by_o the_o jew_n at_o this_o day_n out_o of_o deut._n 6.7_o and_o to_o add_v more_o solemnity_n to_o the_o commemoration_n of_o god_n law_n and_o their_o deliverance_n from_o egypt_n they_o write_v it_o down_o in_o a_o piece_n of_o parchment_n and_o then_o roll_a it_o up_o superscribe_v it_o to_o the_o lord_n and_o fasten_v it_o to_o the_o wall_n or_o the_o post_n of_o the_o door_n on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o the_o entrance_n and_o as_o often_o as_o they_o go_v in_o and_o out_o they_o touch_v and_o kiss_v it_o with_o great_a affection_n and_o devotion_n this_o also_o be_v command_v psal_n 34.8_o come_v taste_n and_o see_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v good_a and_o 1_o thes_n 5.11_o comfort_v yourselves_o together_o and_o edify_v one_o another_o even_o as_o also_o you_o do_v and_o what_o be_v more_o excellent_a for_o edification_n and_o consolation_n than_o to_o tell_v what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o our_o soul_n whereby_o many_o who_o have_v meet_v with_o the_o like_a may_v be_v confirm_v and_o comfort_v david_n in_o psal_n 16_o cry_v out_o i_o will_v tell_v of_o all_o thy_o wondrous_a work_n and_o psal_n 66.19_o come_v and_o hear_v say_v he_o all_o you_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n and_o verse_n 19_o very_o god_n have_v hear_v i_o and_o have_v not_o turn_v away_o his_o mercy_n from_o i_o and_o psal_n 18.30_o the_o way_n of_o god_n be_v perfect_a say_v david_n how_o know_v thou_o this_o david_n oh_o say_v he_o i_o have_v try_v it_o the_o word_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v try_v i_o can_v tell_v it_o by_o experience_n and_o i_o know_v that_o he_o be_v a_o buckler_n to_o all_o that_o trust_v in_o he_o and_o psal_n 51._o he_o promise_v that_o as_o soon_o as_o his_o break_a bone_n be_v heal_v and_o the_o joy_n of_o his_o salvation_n be_v restore_v to_o he_o he_o will_v present_o preach_v it_o and_o teach_v transgressor_n god_n way_n and_o sinner_n shall_v be_v convert_v unto_o he_o he_o will_v give_v sinner_n warn_v of_o sin_n and_o uncleanness_n and_o tell_v they_o what_o it_o be_v to_o lie_v in_o hellish_a horror_n to_o have_v a_o wound_a spirit_n a_o â—cusing_a conscience_n and_o the_o indignation_n of_o a_o angry_a frown_a god_n thus_o also_o the_o apostle_n speak_v 2_o cor._n 5.11_o know_v the_o terror_n of_o the_o lord_n we_o persuade_v man_n we_o tell_v they_o the_o sad_a condition_n they_o be_v in_o now_o we_o be_v deliver_v out_o of_o it_o on_o purpose_n to_o persuade_v they_o to_o believe_v in_o god_n to_o get_v out_o of_o their_o carnâ—…_n state_n and_o to_o taste_v and_o see_v the_o mercy_n grace_n and_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o as_o the_o apostle_n peter_n say_v 1_o pet._n 2.3_o if_o so_o be_v you_o have_v taste_v how_o gracious_a the_o lord_n be_v o_o than_o you_o will_v say_v it_o be_v good_a it_o be_v sweet_a and_o will_v in_o courage_n other_o to_o come_v and_o be_v make_v partaker_n thereof_o 2._o as_o this_o be_v a_o duty_n and_o have_v be_v the_o practice_n of_o primitive_a time_n so_o it_o be_v very_o useful_a and_o necessary_a for_o several_a reason_n 1._o it_o be_v a_o bear_v the_o best_a outward_a testimony_n to_o god_n and_o his_o attribute_n that_o can_v be_v when_z be_z can_v say_v by_o experience_n that_o god_n be_v gracious_a love_a slow_a to_o anger_n ready_a to_o forgive_v that_o he_o be_v true_a and_o faithful_a for_o we_o have_v try_v he_o and_o therefore_o know_v it_o and_o the_o want_n of_o this_o make_v we_o so_o often_o question_v his_o care_n truth_n mercy_n and_o love_n to_o we_o in_o time_n of_o trial_n 2._o it_o be_v necessary_a to_o communicate_v experience_n thereby_o to_o discover_v those_o that_o be_v sound_a christian_n and_o sincere_a bellever_n as_o far_o as_o may_v be_v judge_n by_o outward_a appearance_n conversation_n and_o communication_n 3._o it_o may_v be_v useful_a to_o prevent_v we_o from_o censure_v or_o have_v hard_a thought_n of_o those_o who_o be_v under_o spiritual_a agony_n affliction_n and_o temptation_n all_o which_o our_o bless_a redeemer_n himself_o suffer_v that_o he_o 〈…〉_o able_a to_o succour_v they_o that_o be_v tempt_v heb._n 2.18_o so_o that_o when_o we_o see_v poor_a soul_n set_v on_o the_o wrack_n and_o roar_v under_o torment_n and_o cry_v out_o oh_o they_o be_v damn_v undo_v forsake_v of_o god_n etc._n etc._n yet_o we_o ought_v not_o to_o condemn_v they_o for_o even_o then_o they_o may_v be_v the_o dear_a child_n of_o god_n and_o may_v pass_v a_o wrong_a sentence_n upon_o themselves_o so_o long_o as_o they_o lie_v in_o despair_n and_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o their_o own_o ruinous_a condition_n till_o they_o find_v help_v and_o salvation_n in_o jesus_n christ_n of_o which_o you_o may_v find_v divers_a instance_n in_o the_o follow_a experience_n 4._o by_o these_o experience_n we_o may_v learn_v how_o various_a the_o lord_n be_v in_o his_o way_n and_o working_n as_o the_o apostle_n say_v heb._n 2.1_o god_n who_o at_o sundry_a time_n and_o in_o divers_a â—_z speak_v to_o the_o father_n by_o the_o prophet_n etc._n etc._n to_o some_o he_o come_v in_o one_o way_n like_o a_o lion_n and_o to_o some_o in_o another_o like_o a_o lamb_n to_o some_o by_o sickness_n to_o other_o by_o cross_n and_o loss_n to_o some_o by_o sermon_n and_o to_o other_o by_o read_v the_o scripture_n christian_a converse_n and_o the_o like_a again_o to_o some_o the_o lord_n discover_v himself_o in_o a_o extraordinary_a way_n as_o in_o dream_n trance_n voice_n or_o vision_n but_o neither_o these_o nor_o the_o ordinary_a manifestation_n of_o god_n love_n be_v to_o be_v regard_v unless_o they_o be_v confirm_v by_o the_o scripture_n and_o the_o promise_v therein_o and_o unless_o they_o also_o make_v the_o person_n more_o holy_a humble_a and_o mean_v in_o his_o own_o eye_n and_o more_o to_o admire_v the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n to_o he_o a_o poor_a unworthy_a sinner_n and_o the_o lord_n know_v what_o mean_n be_v most_o proper_a for_o that_o which_o will_v work_v upon_o one_o man_n may_v have_v no_o operation_n upon_o another_o 5._o experience_n do_v oblige_v and_o alluâ—e_n christian_n exceed_o to_o rely_v upon_o god_n and_o to_o believe_v in_o he_o for_o as_o david_n say_v psal_n 22.1,2_o i_o cry_v i_o roar_v night_n and_o day_n for_o deliverance_n but_o what_o argument_n do_v he_o use_v see_v verse_n 4_o 5._o our_o father_n trust_v in_o thou_o they_o trust_v and_o thou_o do_v deliuâ—…_n they_o they_o cry_v unto_o thou_o and_o be_v deliver_v they_o trust_v in_o thou_o and_o be_v not_o confound_v therefore_o deliver_v i_o too_o for_o i_o trâ—stâ—in_v thou_o so_o psal_n 31.24_o be_v of_o good_a courage_n and_o he_o shall_v strengthen_v your_o heart_n all_o you_o that_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n even_o as_o he_o have_v strengthen_v my_o heart_n and_o hear_v my_o woice_n and_o cry_n as_o in_o the_o verse_n before_o so_o he_o will_v you_o o_o all_o you_o saint_n thus_o the_o woman_n of_o samaria_n john_n 4.28,29_o â—an_v into_o the_o city_n and_o declare_v her_o experience_n of_o the_o messiah_n that_o be_v come_v and_o how_o he_o tell_v she_o all_o thing_n etc._n etc._n and_o observe_v how_o this_o weak_a mean_n wrought_v upon_o many_o for_o verseâ—_n â—_z 9_o it_o be_v say_v that_o many_o of_o the_o samaritan_n believe_v in_o he_o because_o of_o the_o say_n of_o the_o poor_a woman_n and_o thus_o junius_n profess_v that_o the_o very_o first_o thing_n which_o converâ—ed_v he_o he_o from_o atheism_n and_o make_v he_o believe_v in_o god_n be_v a_o conference_n with_o a_o poor_a countryman_n near_o florence_n in_o italy_n there_o be_v many_o other_o benefit_n that_o arise_v from_o christian_n communicate_v their_o experience_n of_o the_o favour_n love_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n towards_o they_o some_o be_v inform_v other_o confute_v other_o comfort_v and_o confirm_v in_o the_o good_a way_n of_o the_o lord_n so_o that_o it_o be_v to_o be_v wish_v that_o this_o christian_a duty_n be_v more_o practise_v whereby_o other_o may_v be_v encourage_v to_o trust_v in_o god_n by_o hear_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o our_o soul_n i_o shalâ—_n add_v no_o more_o but_o proceed_v to_o give_v a_o
do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v and_o mourn_v and_o pray_v count_v my_o life_n to_o be_v lose_v and_o yet_o i_o be_v more_o trouble_v for_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n than_o the_o wrath_n of_o man_n but_o at_o length_n it_o please_v god_n to_o give_v i_o comfort_n for_o one_o night_n whilst_o i_o be_v beraoan_v myself_o and_o in_o much_o despair_n on_o a_o sudden_a the_o room_n be_v all_o in_o a_o flame_n and_o i_o think_v myself_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o lightning_n and_o be_v terrify_v i_o imagine_v i_o see_v these_o word_n write_v against_o the_o wall_n thy_o sin_n be_v pardon_v and_o thy_o life_n be_v hide_v with_o christ_n in_o god_n this_o extraordinary_a manifestation_n much_o ease_v the_o trouble_n and_o sorrow_n wherein_o i_o be_v but_o yet_o for_o want_v of_o faith_n this_o comfort_n do_v not_o long_o continue_v with_o i_o for_o after_o that_o i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o lord_n with_o such_o a_o wrathful_a countenance_n that_o i_o dare_v not_o look_v upon_o he_o and_o the_o next_o news_n that_o i_o hear_v be_v that_o i_o be_v order_v to_o be_v shoot_v to_o death_n oh_o than_o i_o can_v express_v the_o terror_n that_o i_o be_v in_o my_o woeful_a misery_n be_v such_o that_o neither_o prayer_n read_v of_o the_o scripture_n nor_o the_o precious_a promise_n therein_o can_v afford_v i_o any_o relief_n for_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v any_o right_n to_o they_o and_o therefore_o can_v not_o lay_v hold_n of_o they_o in_o this_o dreadful_a distress_n i_o lie_v a_o condemn_a man_n both_o in_o soul_n and_o body_n lament_v my_o wretched_a condition_n when_o open_v the_o bible_n in_o joel_n 2.13_o i_o see_v it_o thus_o write_v turn_v you_o to_o the_o lord_n god_n for_o he_o be_v gracious_a and_o merciful_a slow_a to_o anger_n and_o of_o great_a tenderness_n and_o repent_v he_o of_o the_o evil._n hereupon_o i_o ponder_v a_o while_n and_o say_v and_o be_v he_o such_o a_o god_n well_o then_o he_o be_v my_o god_n and_o with_o that_o i_o give_v myself_o up_o into_o his_o hand_n resolve_v to_o rely_v upon_o he_o let_v he_o do_v what_o he_o will_v with_o i_o and_o on_o this_o foundation_n i_o be_v settle_a and_o satisfy_v a_o while_n after_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o deliver_v i_o out_o of_o the_o danger_n of_o death_n and_o to_o set_v i_o at_o liberty_n from_o prison_n but_o notwithstanding_o this_o great_a mercy_n yet_o i_o must_v confess_v that_o i_o afterward_o find_v such_o opposition_n in_o my_o heart_n against_o god_n as_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v have_v be_v in_o i_o i_o be_v grievous_o wound_v for_o it_o and_o can_v have_v no_o quiet_a but_o go_v to_o mr._n w._n and_o acquaint_v he_o with_o it_o who_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o have_v fall_v from_o my_o first_o work_n and_o that_o i_o must_v repent_v this_o rent_n my_o heart_n and_o i_o have_v no_o rest_n i_o return_v from_o he_o and_o apply_v to_o prayer_n keep_v that_o course_n continual_o till_o by_o degree_n i_o be_v recover_v out_o of_o that_o disconsolate_a condition_n and_o i_o praise_v god_n i_o have_v since_o find_v his_o favour_n and_o kindness_n extend_v towards_o i_o so_o that_o i_o be_o full_o persuade_v he_o love_v i_o and_o will_v pardon_v my_o sin_n in_o jesus_n christ_n on_o who_o merit_n i_o rely_v in_o who_o righteousness_n i_o rest_v and_o by_o who_o grace_n i_o be_o now_o set_v free_a to_o serve_v he_o here_o and_o doubt_v not_o but_o to_o reign_v with_o he_o hereafter_o f._n b._n v._o experience_n of_o h._n m._n my_o father_n be_v a_o gentleman_n of_o a_o fair_a estate_n have_v many_o child_n eleven_o son_n of_o we_o he_o be_v high_a sheriff_n and_o when_o he_o die_v all_o our_o family_n be_v break_v disperse_a and_o in_o confusion_n two_o of_o we_o be_v bring_v up_o within_o five_o mile_n of_o gloucester_n but_o i_o be_v place_v a_o apprentice_n in_o london_n and_o by_o this_o mean_v my_o sorrow_n and_o trouble_n begin_v to_o be_v great_a at_o first_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o this_o sudden_a change_n which_o continue_v a_o while_n but_o about_o the_o 17_o year_n of_o my_o age_n my_o former_a grief_n be_v turn_v into_o another_o kind_n of_o trouble_n namely_o sorrow_n for_o my_o sin_n i_o be_v for_o three_o year_n together_o wound_v with_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o corruption_n which_o be_v many_o i_o follow_v sermon_n pursue_v the_o mean_n be_v constant_a in_o duty_n and_o do_v look_v for_o heaven_n that_o way_n i_o be_v very_o precise_a in_o outward_a formality_n censure_v all_o for_o reprobate_n that_o wear_v their_o hair_n long_o and_o not_o short_a above_o their_o ear_n or_o that_o follow_v the_o common_a mode_n and_o fashion_n of_o those_o day_n thus_o i_o continue_v distract_v in_o my_o thought_n and_o wound_v in_o my_o conscience_n weep_v often_o and_o bitter_o and_o pray_v earnest_o but_o yet_o have_v no_o comfort_n till_o i_o hear_v that_o sweet_a saint_n now_o in_o heaven_n dr._n sibbs_n by_o who_o mean_n and_o ministry_n i_o be_v bring_v to_o peace_n and_o joy_n in_o my_o spirit_n his_o sweet_a soul-melting_a sermon_n win_v my_o heart_n and_o refresh_v i_o much_o for_o by_o he_o i_o see_v much_o of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o have_v good_a hope_n and_o confidence_n in_o christ_n jesus_n and_o can_v overlook_v the_o world_n undervalue_v all_o earthly_a thing_n and_o be_v not_o afraid_a of_o affliction_n and_o though_o i_o be_v sometime_o under_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n again_o unto_o fear_n yet_o my_o heart_n still_o hold_v firm_a and_o my_o desire_n be_v all_o heaven-ward_n i_o take_v delight_n to_o hear_v funeral_n sermon_n but_o dr._n sibbs_n chief_o by_o who_o i_o be_v effectual_o wrought_v upon_o and_o satissy_v with_o comfort_n which_o i_o hope_v will_v never_o leave_v i_o till_o i_o come_v to_o everlasting_a rest_n h._n m._n vi_o experience_n of_o mr._n t._n h._n minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n i_o be_v but_o young_a when_o i_o first_o come_v under_o gonviction_n of_o soul_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v warm_v by_o a_o zealous_a ministry_n which_o put_v i_o much_o upon_o duty_n i_o use_v to_o read_v the_o scripture_n every_o night_n and_o to_o repeat_v sermon_n often_o and_o so_o i_o spend_v the_o first_o scene_n of_o my_o youth_n till_o i_o be_v send_v by_o my_o friend_n to_o london_n where_o i_o live_v a_o year_n or_o two_o during_o that_o time_n as_o often_o as_o i_o see_v any_o minister_n i_o can_v not_o but_o weep_v and_o always_o wish_v that_o i_o may_v be_v one_o myself_o to_o be_v able_a to_o preach_v too_o after_o this_o i_o be_v send_v to_o one_o of_o the_o university_n in_o england_n but_o be_v wild_a with_o youthful_a company_n be_v remove_v to_o the_o college_n of_o dublin_n where_o i_o continue_v till_o the_o horrid_a popish_a rebellion_n break_v out_o in_o 1641._o at_o which_o time_n i_o leave_v it_o and_o go_v to_o liverpool_n in_o lancashire_n where_o i_o preach_v some_o year_n yet_o all_o this_o while_n i_o be_v but_o formal_a and_o as_o the_o young_a man_n in_o the_o gospel_n say_v he_o have_v keep_v all_o these_o thing_n from_o his_o youth_n so_o i_o be_v from_o from_o my_o youth_n religious_a well_o give_v love_v the_o mean_n and_o follow_v they_o hear_v sermon_n and_o seek_v to_o serve_v god_n but_o alas_o i_o be_v yet_o all_o this_o while_n in_o darkness_n and_o do_v not_o know_v it_o but_o afterward_o i_o see_v that_o i_o be_v blind_a and_o carnal_a for_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v in_o great_a doubt_n and_o trouble_n and_o very_o much_o cloud_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v exceed_o tie_v and_o bind_v up_o for_o a_o time_n under_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o formal_a holiness_n and_o sin_n but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o light_n once_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v sad_o alone_a upon_o the_o mountain_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n so_o to_o influence_n i_o by_o his_o spirit_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v immediate_o pour_v out_o upon_o i_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v satisfy_v in_o jesus_n christ_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v fill_v with_o heavenly_a joy_n and_o peace_n and_o with_o most_o ravish_a contemplation_n which_o continue_v without_o a_o cloud_n for_o several_a week_n together_o and_o give_v i_o assure_v hope_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o ever_o since_o i_o have_v live_v in_o the_o righteousness_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o though_o i_o have_v meet_v with_o many_o storm_n and_o cloud_n yet_o they_o have_v all_o pass_v away_o and_o can_v hinder_v i_o from_o salvation_n so_o long_o as_o christ_n who_o be_v my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n be_v above_o they_o and_o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o he_o will_v at_o last_o translate_v i_o from_o his_o kingdom_n of_o grace_n here_o
father_n holdekeeper_n so_o as_o it_o be_v a_o mother_n to_o ten_o child_n a_o mistress_n over_o six_o servant_n none_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n without_o my_o command_n or_o consent_n be_v as_o it_o be_v my_o father_n right_a hand_n from_o who_o i_o have_v this_o authority_n it_o do_v not_o only_o stop_v my_o sorrow_n but_o cause_v a_o exceed_a juyful_a pride_n or_o proud_a joy_n to_o seize_v upon_o my_o heart_n see_v myself_o aâ—_n it_o be_v advance_v be_v respect_v among_o the_o chief_a of_o the_o parish_n who_o be_v my_o mother_n a_o companion_n i_o represent_v her_o person_n when_o i_o be_v among_o they_o then_o begin_v the_o care_n of_o the_o worlâ—_n and_o the_o deceivableness_n of_o vanity_n to_o seize_v upon_o my_o heart_n and_o make_v i_o forget_v my_o former_a order_n promise_n and_o intention_n and_o thus_o i_o spend_v almost_o seven_o year_n cumber_v about_o many_o thing_n but_o quite_o neglect_v that_o one_o thing_n which_o iâ—_n needful_a about_o this_o time_n it_o please_v god_n to_o take_v my_o father_n from_o i_o upon_o a_o sudden_a i_o ask_v my_o heart_n what_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o father_n death_n it_o make_v answer_v thus_o because_o thou_o have_v sin_v against_o god_n thou_o have_v not_o only_o omit_v much_o good_a but_o thou_o have_v coâ—…itted_v much_o evil_n thou_o have_v spend_v thy_o time_n idle_o and_o loose_o and_o for_o thy_o sake_n all_o thy_o brother_n and_o sister_n be_v now_o make_v fatherless_a and_o motherless_a thâ—…_n consideration_n make_v such_o a_o deep_a impression_n upon_o thy_o spirit_n that_o i_o refuse_v all_o coâ—…fort_n for_o half_a a_o year_n cry_v out_o continual_o my_o sin_n my_o sin_n woe_n be_v i_o my_o sin_n be_v demand_v by_o divers_a godly_a friend_n and_o reverend_a divine_n what_o those_o sin_n be_v which_o so_o much_o trouble_v i_o i_o tell_v they_o sin_n of_o omission_n sin_n of_o omission_n they_o will_v persuade_v i_o that_o i_o be_v young_a and_o that_o i_o have_v not_o year_n enough_o over_o my_o head_n to_o be_v guilty_a of_o so_o many_o sâ—…s_n by_o omission_n that_o need_v so_o much_o sorrow_n i_o tell_v they_o that_o i_o be_v old_a enough_o to_o offend_v god_n and_o to_o provoke_v he_o to_o anger_n indeed_o i_o can_v not_o give_v so_o ready_a account_n of_o my_o sin_n of_o evil_n commit_v and_o of_o good_a omit_v but_o though_o they_o never_o take_v notice_n of_o my_o sin_n yet_o my_o heart_n be_v witness_v against_o i_o thus_o i_o weary_v all_o my_o friend_n with_o my_o excessive_a sorrow_n who_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v for_o i_o more_o than_o they_o have_v do_v with_o one_o consent_n they_o send_v i_o up_o to_o london_n persuade_v i_o that_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v more_o plentiful_o preach_v there_o which_o make_v i_o willing_a to_o come_v but_o miss_v of_o my_o brother_n to_o who_o i_o be_v send_v to_o be_v provide_v for_o and_o resolve_v to_o wait_v upon_o some_o gentlewoman_n until_o i_o can_v with_o conveniency_n return_v down_o again_o god_n by_o his_o providence_n bring_v i_o to_o the_o wife_n of_o dr._n page_n minister_n of_o debtford_n from_o who_o i_o receive_v great_a comfort_n but_o in_o a_o short_a time_n god_n take_v he_o from_o we_o all_o who_o death_n be_v great_o lament_v i_o find_v much_o favour_n and_o love_n from_o all_o that_o know_v i_o and_o most_o especial_o from_o mris._n page_n who_o for_o three_o year_n and_o a_o half_a will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v away_o from_o she_o one_o day_n at_o the_o end_n of_o which_o time_n i_o be_v marry_v to_o her_o elder_a son_n than_o live_v we_o have_v not_o be_v long_o marry_v and_o my_o husband_n receive_v his_o portion_n but_o we_o take_v a_o house_n in_o westminster_n intend_v to_o take_v some_o honest_a course_n for_o a_o livelihood_n but_o there_o god_n know_v we_o fall_v acquaint_v with_o some_o company_n which_o do_v not_o only_o cause_v much_o time_n to_o be_v spend_v in_o idleness_n but_o almost_o all_o our_o mean_n one_o man_n especial_o who_o give_v his_o mind_n to_o drink_v and_o other_o vice_n more_o than_o any_o good_a he_o i_o say_v be_v never_o well_o content_v without_o my_o husband_n company_n see_v imminent_a danger_n to_o hang_v over_o our_o head_n by_o reason_n of_o this_o course_n of_o life_n i_o great_o desire_v my_o husband_n to_o refrain_v that_o man_n company_n or_o at_o least_o not_o to_o suffer_v he_o to_o come_v so_o often_o home_n to_o our_o house_n this_o i_o beg_v upon_o my_o knee_n with_o tear_n but_o can_v not_o prevail_v then_o do_v the_o devil_n set_v his_o foot_n into_o my_o heart_n and_o persuade_v i_o that_o by_o the_o commit_n of_o one_o sin_n i_o shall_v prevent_v many_o and_o so_o stir_v i_o up_o to_o murder_v he_o to_o which_o suggestion_n i_o cowardly_o yield_v and_o seek_v all_o opportunity_n to_o perform_v this_o wicked_a act_n here_o i_o deny_v my_o master_n christ_n in_o the_o high_a of_o this_o hatred_n in_o my_o sleep_n i_o think_v i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a large_a chamber_n sit_v behind_o a_o table_n cover_v with_o a_o green_a carpet_n upon_o which_o lie_v all_o manner_n of_o instrument_n which_o proclaim_v death_n sudden_o the_o man_n come_v into_o the_o chamber_n who_o so_o soon_o as_o i_o espy_v to_o be_v alone_o catch_v up_o a_o weapon_n in_o my_o hand_n i_o resolve_v there_o to_o commit_v the_o horrid_a act_n of_o murder_n upon_o his_o body_n but_o god_n who_o watch_v over_o he_o whether_o they_o sleep_v or_o walte_n and_o work_v by_o mean_n and_o without_o mean_n which_o way_n he_o please_v at_o that_o time_n put_v a_o end_n to_o all_o my_o revengeful_a thought_n and_o cause_v i_o to_o hear_v a_o voice_n in_o my_o ear_n say_v vengeance_n be_v i_o to_o which_o voice_n i_o answer_v aloud_o and_o thou_o will_v repay_v o_o lord_n then_o wake_v hear_v myself_o speak_v i_o be_v in_o very_o good_a charity_n with_o he_o and_o leave_v my_o wrong_n to_o god_n but_o reflect_v upon_o my_o own_o heart_n there_o i_o find_v not_o only_o these_o but_o a_o whole_a nest_n of_o most_o diabolical_a and_o wicked_a intention_n which_o my_o god_n be_v please_v by_o his_o prevent_a grace_n to_o smother_v in_o their_o birth_n for_o i_o no_o soon_o have_v conclude_v that_o i_o will_v fulfil_v my_o own_o heart_n lust_n although_o i_o suffcred_a all_o the_o punishment_n due_a for_o such_o and_o such_o like_a sin_n wherein_o i_o run_v away_o from_o my_o captain_n yet_o for_o all_o this_o he_o have_v a_o favour_n towards_o i_o and_o send_v a_o herald_n after_o i_o to_o bring_v i_o back_o again_o but_o than_o begin_v a_o fresh_a batteâ—_n for_o my_o god_n come_v as_o it_o wear_v to_o see_v what_o use_n i_o have_v make_v of_o the_o talon_n that_o he_o have_v give_v i_o he_o find_v it_o not_o only_o wrap_v up_o in_o a_o napkin_n but_o exceed_o abuse_v and_o search_v my_o heart_n what_o find_v he_o there_o but_o a_o sink_n of_o sin_n a_o cage_n of_o unclean_a bird_n and_o den_n of_o thief_n a_o place_n for_o dragon_n for_o the_o scritchowl_a and_o for_o the_o satire_n these_o have_v take_v full_a possession_n there_o be_v no_o room_n for_o my_o god_n they_o keep_v he_o out_o and_o what_o do_v they_o there_o but_o make_v it_o like_o a_o trouble_a sea_n first_o tell_v i_o my_o sin_n be_v great_a than_o can_v be_v forgive_v do_v thou_o not_o know_v say_v they_o that_o thy_o thought-sin_n be_v sufficient_a to_o damn_v thou_o although_o thou_o have_v never_o commit_v any_o actual_o do_v not_o the_o scripture_n say_v plain_o if_o a_o man_n lust_n after_o a_o woman_n he_o have_v commit_v adultery_n which_o commandment_n be_v break_v bring_v death_n i_o than_o take_v a_o view_n of_o all_o the_o ten_o commandment_n write_v in_o the_o moral_a law_n to_o see_v which_o of_o they_o i_o have_v break_v and_o which_o i_o have_v keep_v i_o find_v they_o all_o break_a and_o at_o the_o end_n of_o every_o one_o be_v write_v death_n and_o not_o only_o those_o but_o those_o sweet_a command_n of_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n wherein_o he_o bid_v we_o watch_v and_o pray_v for_o your_o enemy_n seed_n the_o hungry_a clothe_v the_o naked_a love_v one_o another_o all_o which_o i_o have_v likewise_o break_v which_o make_v i_o to_o see_v nothing_o to_o remain_v for_o i_o but_o death_n and_o damnation_n cargue_v then_o with_o myself_o on_o this_o wise_a i_o have_v read_v and_o i_o have_v hear_v that_o almighty_a god_n which_o by_o his_o power_n make_v heaven_n and_o earth_n and_o all_o therein_o have_v send_v his_o son_n to_o die_v for_o sinner_n and_o that_o there_o be_v hope_n through_o his_o death_n that_o i_o shall_v get_v pardon_n i_o have_v no_o soon_o cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o my_o
offend_v and_o man_n in_o a_o lose_a condition_n but_o present_o a_o remedy_n promise_v go_v on_o i_o find_v the_o paschal_n lamb_n the_o brazen_a serpent_n the_o bunch_n of_o grape_n the_o escape_n goat_n and_o divers_a other_o thing_n to_o be_v type_n of_o that_o promise_a seed_n i_o likewise_o take_v a_o view_n of_o the_o affliction_n of_o joseph_n david_n and_o job_n that_o do_v much_o ease_v my_o grief_n come_v to_o that_o place_n where_o my_o god_n speak_v by_o his_o prophet_n come_v let_v we_o reason_n together_o though_o your_o sin_n be_v as_o scarlet_a i_o will_v make_v they_o as_o white_a as_o snow_n though_o they_o be_v like_o crimson_a they_o shall_v be_v like_o wool_n and_o though_o you_o have_v lie_v among_o the_o pot_n yet_o shall_v you_o belike_o dove_n wing_n cover_v over_o with_o silver_n then_o i_o think_v will_v the_o lord_n reason_n with_o sinner_n will_v he_o vouchsafe_v a_o parley_n o_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o answer_v he_o one_o of_o a_o thousand_o o_o that_o these_o promise_n belong_v unto_o i_o o_o that_o this_o god_n be_v reconcile_v unto_o i_o how_o happy_a shall_v i_o be_v how_o happy_a be_v that_o man_n who_o transgression_n be_v forgive_v and_o who_o sin_n be_v cover_v o_o how_o bless_a be_v that_o man_n unto_o who_o the_o lord_n impute_v no_o sin_n i_o find_v the_o same_o prophet_n isaiah_n prophesy_v of_o my_o saviour_n birth_n in_o his_o 9th_o chapter_n and_o in_o his_o 53_o he_o lively_o set_v forth_o his_o passion_n and_o in_o the_o 55_o the_o lord_n invite_v i_o with_o a_o proclamation_n ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v then_o i_o answer_v lord_n i_o will_v fain_o come_v but_o how_o shall_v i_o come_v i_o have_v nothing_o to_o bring_v to_o pacify_v thy_o anger_n o_o that_o i_o can_v see_v thou_o smile_v upon_o i_o as_o once_o i_o see_v thou_o frown_v how_o happy_a shall_v i_o be_v a_o then_o i_o call_v to_o mind_n that_o i_o have_v hear_v and_o read_v that_o jesus_n christ_n shed_v his_o blood_n for_o sinner_n and_o that_o whoseever_n believe_v in_o he_o shall_v be_v save_v and_o i_o be_v something_o encourage_v to_o petition_n in_o his_o name_n on_o this_o manner_n heal_n i_o o_o lord_n and_o i_o shall_v be_v heal_v turn_v i_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v turn_v convert_v i_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v convert_v o_o save_v i_o my_o god_n and_o i_o shall_v be_v save_v take_v away_o this_o stony_a heart_n of_o i_o and_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n renew_v a_o right_a spirit_n within_o i_o restore_v i_o to_o those_o joy_n that_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o find_v in_o thou_o for_o thy_o love_a kindness_n be_v better_a than_o thousand_o of_o river_n of_o oil_n o_o cast_v i_o not_o away_o who_o thou_o have_v have_v so_o much_o patience_n withal_o o_o cast_v i_o not_o away_o who_o thou_o have_v buy_v with_o so_o dear_a a_o price_n o_o forsake_v i_o not_o in_o this_o my_o great_a necessity_n o_o look_v upon_o that_o ever-streaming_a fountain_n of_o thy_o son_n blood_n which_o be_v pour_v forth_o for_o all_o they_o that_o believe_v lord_n i_o believe_v help_v thou_o my_o unbelief_n o_o pardon_n pardon_v i_o beseech_v thou_o forgive_v i_o all_o my_o sin_n my_o sermon-sin_n my_o sabbath-sin_n my_o every_o day_n sin_n my_o other_o people_n sin_n my_o sin_n of_o omission_n my_o sin_n of_o commission_n my_o sin_n of_o ignorance_n my_o sin_n of_o knowledge_n my_o sin_n of_o presumption_n my_o sin_n of_o wilfulness_n o_o lord_n forgive_v i_o my_o know_a and_o secret_a sin_n o_o pardon_v the_o sin_n that_o i_o have_v commit_v this_o day_n o_o speak_v the_o word_n only_o and_o thy_o servant_n shall_v be_v heal_v amen_n thus_o when_o the_o lord_n have_v open_v my_o mouth_n to_o speak_v unto_o he_o i_o gather_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o strength_n and_o have_v much_o hope_n that_o he_o will_v be_v entreat_v but_o not_o set_v so_o great_a a_o esteem_n on_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n as_o i_o ought_v i_o think_v i_o must_v bring_v something_o with_o i_o to_o pacify_v my_o god_n i_o think_v i_o must_v make_v myself_o all_o fair_a and_o beautiful_a before_o my_o god_n will_v love_v i_o but_o how_o to_o do_v this_o i_o know_v not_o for_o the_o space_n of_o eleven_o year_n i_o seek_v all_o opportunity_n to_o please_v he_o yet_o when_o i_o examine_v my_o way_n work_n and_o action_n i_o find_v they_o be_v so_o far_o from_o please_v he_o that_o they_o be_v rather_o motive_n to_o stir_v he_o up_o to_o anger_n if_o he_o shall_v be_v severe_a to_o mark_v what_o i_o do_v amiss_o many_o time_n i_o think_v upon_o the_o sad_a condition_n that_o i_o have_v be_v in_o and_o how_o the_o lord_n have_v restore_v i_o than_o my_o heart_n be_v elevate_v and_o overjoy_v i_o find_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o love_n in_o myself_o towards_o god_n but_o be_v not_o sure_a of_o god_n love_n to_o i_o which_o i_o esteem_v above_o all_o the_o world_n the_o honour_n of_o god_n be_v so_o dear_a unto_o i_o that_o i_o can_v sometime_o say_v unto_o he_o lord_z if_o there_o be_v no_o way_n to_o bring_v honour_n to_o thy_o name_n but_o by_o my_o confusion_n then_o let_v i_o be_v confound_v but_o sure_a lord_n thou_o may_v gain_v more_o glory_n in_o save_v i_o than_o in_o damn_v i_o the_o dead_a can_v bring_v honour_n to_o thy_o name_n for_o who_o shall_v give_v thou_o thanks_o in_o the_o pit_n the_o live_n the_o live_n they_o shall_v praise_v thou_o as_o i_o hope_v to_o do_v hereafter_o many_o time_n i_o pray_v and_o have_v many_o petition_n grant_v i_o present_o and_o at_o other_o time_n i_o prayeâ—_n and_o be_v deny_v what_o i_o beg_v but_o have_v what_o i_o desire_v in_o a_o better_a way_n in_o all_o dispensation_n i_o find_v my_o god_n with_o i_o either_o with_o his_o prevent_n assist_a or_o support_v grace_n i_o receive_v innumerable_a favour_n from_o he_o yet_o can_v i_o not_o be_v persuade_v that_o they_o come_v from_o his_o love_n but_o that_o rather_o they_o be_v to_o augment_v my_o scere_fw-la i_o be_v still_o labour_v and_o inquire_v how_o i_o may_v come_v to_o be_v assure_v of_o god_n love_n which_o he_o be_v please_v at_o length_n to_o show_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n on_o this_o manner_n in_o the_o sixth_o of_o john_n i_o hear_v my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o can_v come_v to_o he_o except_o god_n our_o father_n draw_v i_o and_o if_o i_o come_v to_o he_o him_z he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v i_o out_o but_o will_v raise_v i_o up_o at_o the_o last_o day_n i_o be_o persuade_v that_o it_o be_v my_o god_n alone_o that_o do_v draw_v i_o to_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n that_o will_v receive_v i_o and_o will_v raise_v i_o up_o at_o the_o last_o day_n in_o john_n 17._o i_o hear_v he_o pray_v to_o his_o father_n for_o i_o who_o request_n i_o be_o confident_a shall_v not_o be_v deny_v nay_o further_o by_o faith_n i_o see_v my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n suffer_v for_o i_o nail_v upon_o the_o cross_n for_o i_o wounded_z buffet_v strip_v and_o spit_v upon_o for_o i_o dead_a bury_v rise_v again_o ascend_v into_o heaven_n and_o sit_v on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o his_o father_n and_o my_o god_n make_v intercession_n for_o i_o which_o give_v i_o assurance_n of_o my_o god_n everlasting_a and_o unchangeable_a love_n in_o and_o through_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n towards_o i_o and_o that_o not_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v in_o i_o but_o for_o his_o sake_n he_o say_v unto_o i_o when_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n live_v and_o i_o know_v i_o do_v believe_v and_o be_o regenerate_v by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n 1._o because_o i_o find_v such_o a_o alteration_n in_o myself_o that_o whereas_o before_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v there_o be_v a_o god_n now_o i_o be_o sure_a there_o be_v a_o great_a and_o a_o almighty_a god_n and_o he_o be_v my_o love_a father_n 2._o before_o i_o dare_v not_o lift_v up_o my_o eye_n to_o heaven_n now_o i_o can_v with_o boldness_n cry_v abba_n dear_a father_n 3._o before_o i_o do_v not_o regard_v the_o people_n of_o god_n now_o all_o my_o delight_n be_v with_o the_o saint_n that_o be_v upon_o the_o earth_n 4._o i_o love_v to_o hear_v my_o god_n well_o speak_v of_o it_o grieve_v i_o to_o hear_v or_o see_v he_o dishonour_v 5._o i_o long_o to_o see_v my_o saviour_n and_o to_o kiss_v those_o wound_n from_o which_o issue_v stream_n of_o blood_n which_o pacisy_v god_n anger_n towards_o i_o 6._o i_o rejoice_v when_o i_o think_v of_o death_n know_v that_o it_o be_v swallow_v up_o in_o victory_n 7_o i_o often_o hear_v this_o voice_n in_o my_o ear_n arise_v you_o dead_a and_o come_v to_o
〈◊〉_d destroy_v myself_o and_o my_o poor_a child_n and_o cry_v out_o unto_o god_n lord_n what_o will_v thou_o have_v i_o to_o do_v and_o have_v a_o fore_a conflict_n at_o that_o time_n with_o the_o devil_n but_o i_o think_v at_o last_o i_o hear_v the_o lord_n say_v to_o my_o soul_n as_o he_o do_v to_o paul_n trust_v in_o i_o my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o and_o then_o i_o find_v some_o comfort_n which_o enlarge_v my_o heart_n through_o the_o assistance_n of_o god_n spirit_n to_o call_v upon_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n for_o further_a assistance_n and_o comfort_n and_o so_o i_o go_v back_o again_o with_o much_o joy_n believe_v that_o i_o shall_v have_v the_o favour_n of_o god_n and_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o into_o my_o mind_n to_o go_v to_o one_o e._n b._n that_o dwell_v by_o a_o moor_n side_n near_o leeds_n who_o i_o know_v be_v a_o godly_a woman_n and_o she_o open_v to_o i_o the_o trouble_n of_o david_n and_o job_n and_o give_v i_o sweet_a comfort_n say_v god_n be_v by_o i_o and_o i_o do_v not_o see_v he_o and_o as_o job_n wish_v so_o she_o wrought_v upon_o my_o heart_n to_o wish_v o_o that_o i_o can_v see_v he_o o_o that_o i_o can_v behold_v he_o and_o my_o heart_n be_v full_a of_o joy_n and_o i_o cry_v and_o be_v much_o grieve_v with_o very_o great_a repentance_n that_o i_o have_v be_v so_o seduce_v and_o do_v so_o despair_v of_o god_n mercy_n and_o have_v be_v so_o blind_v and_o the_o lord_n set_v it_o upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o though_o i_o have_v lay_v all_o aside_o yet_o now_o i_o shall_v come_v out_o of_o the_o wilderness_n lean_v on_o my_o belove_a and_o i_o have_v a_o great_a affection_n to_o the_o way_n of_o god_n than_o ever_o and_o delight_v in_o they_o more_o than_o ever_o before_o they_o be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o now_o they_o be_v easy_a and_o sweet_a be_v at_o york_n i_o hear_v a_o minister_n there_o out_o of_o hosea_n 2._o preach_v that_o which_o wrought_v much_o comfort_n in_o i_o and_o that_o christ_n have_v promise_v to_o betrothe_v himself_o to_o every_o believer_n and_o then_o and_o since_o i_o have_v much_o joy_n in_o the_o promise_n of_o god_n and_o can_v through_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n which_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v in_o my_o heart_n lay_v hold_v by_o faith_n on_o they_o as_o my_o particular_a interest_n as_o rom._n 10.4_o christ_n be_v the_o end_n of_o the_o law_n for_o righteousness_n to_o every_o one_o that_o believe_v christ_n by_o h_z spirit_n have_v wrought_v belief_n in_o i_o both_o in_o his_o promise_n and_o threaten_n and_o to_o live_v according_a to_o his_o word_n therefore_o i_o conclude_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v save_v by_o the_o righteousness_n of_o my_o saviour_n rom._n 9.4_o who_o be_v israelites_n to_o who_o pertain_v the_o adoption_n and_o the_o glory_n and_o the_o covenant_n and_o the_o give_v of_o the_o law_n and_o the_o service_n of_o god_n and_o the_o promise_n i_o know_v that_o every_o believer_n be_v a_o true_a israelite_n and_o bring_v under_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n by_o jesus_n christ_n and_o that_o therefore_o the_o promise_n of_o grace_n and_o salvation_n belong_v to_o i_o rom._n 3.21,22_o but_o now_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n without_o the_o law_n be_v manifest_v be_v witness_v by_o the_o law_n and_o the_o prophet_n even_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n which_o be_v by_o faith_n of_o jesus_n unto_o all_o and_o upon_o all_o they_o that_o believe_v for_o there_o be_v no_o difference_n i_o be_v one_o who_o god_n have_v draw_v to_o believe_v it_o be_v manifest_v unto_o i_o that_o i_o have_v a_o interest_n in_o the_o righteousness_n of_o jesus_n christ_n to_o justify_v i_o before_o god_n by_o his_o merit_n which_o be_v make_v i_o by_o faith_n hosea_n 2.19,20_o i_o will_v betrothe_v thou_o unto_o i_o for_o ever_o yea_o i_o will_v beter_v thou_o unto_o i_o in_o righteousness_n and_o in_o judgement_n and_o in_o love_a kindness_n and_o in_o mercy_n i_o will_v even_o betrothe_v thou_o unto_o i_o in_o faithfulness_n and_o thou_o shall_v know_v the_o lord_n i_o find_v great_a comfort_n from_o this_o promise_n in_o that_o the_o lord_n double_v and_o treble_v his_o promise_n and_o enlarge_v himself_o so_o free_o to_o the_o soul_n and_o as_o testimony_n of_o my_o real_a conversion_n to_o god_n and_o union_n with_o jesus_n christ_n and_o that_o reconciliaon_n be_v make_v between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n i_o find_v these_o real_a evidence_n wrought_v by_o god_n bless_a spirit_n in_o i_o 1._o i_o find_v in_o my_o heart_n great_a love_n to_o god_n that_o when_o god_n say_v seek_v my_o face_n my_o heart_n rejoin_v again_o say_v thy_o face_n lord_n will_v i_o seek_v and_o i_o find_v nothing_o so_o dear_a to_o i_o as_o the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o i_o can_v bear_v and_o suffer_v any_o thing_n to_o bring_v glory_n to_o god_n account_v all_o thing_n but_o dung_n and_o dross_n below_o christ_n 2._o when_o any_o thing_n of_o the_o flesh_n arise_v against_o the_o motion_n of_o god_n spirit_n to_o draw_v i_o from_o good_a or_o to_o do_v evil_a i_o find_v frequent_o the_o power_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o subdue_v my_o heart_n not_o to_o submit_v to_o the_o flesh_n but_o to_o walk_v in_o his_o way_n and_o yet_o i_o be_o so_o sensible_a of_o my_o infirmity_n that_o all_o that_o i_o do_v or_o can_v do_v be_v nothing_o but_o as_o filthy_a rag_n but_o i_o know_v jesus_n christ_n be_v my_o saviour_n and_o stand_v engage_v for_o i_o and_o when_o the_o flesh_n be_v weak_a i_o find_v the_o spirit_n thirst_v after_o god_n 3._o i_o find_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o very_a great_a thirst_v after_o the_o ordinance_n and_o a_o great_a enlargement_n of_o heart_n and_o comfort_n in_o they_o my_o heart_n be_v delight_v to_o be_v among_o the_o people_n of_o god_n and_o full_a of_o joy_n in_o they_o 4._o when_o thought_n of_o want_n at_o any_o time_n arise_v i_o find_v full_a satisfaction_n in_o the_o better_a part_n which_o never_o can_v be_v take_v from_o i_o which_o be_v my_o interest_n in_o jesus_n christ_n and_o i_o find_v in_o my_o conscience_n a_o great_a testimony_n of_o my_o spiritual_a union_n with_o god_n and_o that_o i_o be_o so_o separate_v from_o the_o world_n in_o my_o affection_n that_o god_n have_v draw_v i_o to_o himself_o 5._o god_n who_o search_v the_o heart_n know_v what_o be_v the_o mind_n of_o the_o spirit_n because_o he_o make_v intercession_n for_o the_o saint_n according_a to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n which_o will_v of_o god_n i_o find_v a_o free_a submission_n to_o in_o my_o heart_n with_o joy_n know_v that_o all_o thing_n shall_v work_v together_o for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n 6._o it_o be_v the_o chief_a desire_n of_o my_o heart_n that_o god_n will_v keep_v i_o close_o to_o my_o duty_n and_o i_o have_v abundance_n of_o joy_n in_o communion_n with_o the_o lord_n which_o be_v more_o sweet_a to_o i_o than_o my_o joy_n in_o any_o thing_n else_o 7._o i_o delight_v much_o to_o speak_v of_o god_n and_o of_o his_o way_n and_o to_o use_v what_o mean_v i_o can_v to_o comfort_v the_o saint_n who_o i_o love_v dear_o and_o if_o possible_a to_o convert_v sinner_n d._n m._n xix_o experience_n of_o ae_n l._n i_o have_v late_o great_a grief_n upon_o my_o spirit_n about_o a_o daughter_n which_o be_v bring_v to_o great_a suffering_n and_o by_o reason_n of_o she_o go_v away_o in_o her_o affliction_n i_o think_v she_o have_v make_v away_o herself_o god_n put_v it_o into_o my_o thought_n to_o remember_v my_o sin_n and_o that_o he_o have_v lay_v this_o affliction_n upon_o i_o for_o neglect_v my_o duty_n to_o he_o and_o not_o serve_v he_o as_o i_o ought_v this_o cause_v great_a sorrow_n in_o i_o and_o make_v i_o abundant_o shed_v tear_n my_o sin_n i_o think_v be_v the_o occasion_n that_o the_o lord_n make_v she_o so_o great_a a_o cross_n to_o i_o for_o which_o i_o have_v deserve_v it_o so_o that_o both_o become_v a_o great_a grief_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o thus_o i_o lie_v languish_v in_o very_o great_a sorrow_n then_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v with_o myself_o that_o there_o be_v no_o refuge_n but_o only_o in_o christ_n and_o i_o consult_v my_o thought_n how_o to_o go_v to_o good_a company_n and_o meeting_n where_o i_o may_v find_v comfort_n from_o the_o people_n of_o god_n and_o about_o two_o year_n since_o one_o morning_n i_o come_v to_o mr._n s._n to_o join_v with_o godly_a people_n that_o come_v thither_o to_o prayer_n though_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o distraction_n in_o my_o mind_n and_o i_o show_v my_o discontent_n and_o condition_n to_o he_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o
joshua_n that_o i_o and_o my_o house_n will_v serve_v the_o lord_n and_o although_o it_o be_v a_o bitter_a pill_n to_o i_o to_o bear_v the_o cross_n before_o yet_o now_o my_o god_n have_v make_v it_o easy_a and_o i_o praise_v the_o lord_n through_o his_o grace_n i_o can_v go_v under_o it_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o comfort_n and_o he_o have_v now_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o way_n of_o his_o work_n in_o those_o thing_n which_o before_o be_v wonderful_a strange_a to_o i_o many_o special_a promise_n i_o find_v great_a comfort_n in_o some_o that_o i_o remember_v be_v these_o that_o follow_v viz._n 1_o pet._n 5.6,7_o humble_a yourselves_o therefore_o under_o the_o mighty_a hand_n of_o god_n that_o he_o may_v exalt_v you_o in_o due_a time_n cast_v all_o your_o care_n on_o he_o for_o he_o care_v for_o you_o this_o promise_n i_o have_v find_v of_o a_o truth_n make_v good_a to_o i_o in_o some_o measure_n i_o have_v apply_v it_o often_o and_o have_v find_v the_o comfort_n of_o it_o 2_o con._n 1.29_o my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o from_o this_o place_n i_o find_v much_o comfort_n know_v the_o fullness_n of_o so_o glorious_a a_o portion_n jam._n 1.2,3,4_o count_v it_o all_o joy_n when_o you_o fall_v into_o divers_a temptation_n know_v this_o that_o the_o trial_n of_o your_o faith_n work_v patience_n but_o let_v patience_n have_v her_o perfect_a work_n that_o you_o may_v be_v perfect_a and_o entire_a want_v nothing_o this_o administer_v great_a joy_n to_o i_o against_o all_o temptation_n isa_n 55.1_o ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v you_o to_o the_o water_n of_o life_n and_o he_o that_o have_v no_o money_n come_v you_o tâ—…uy_v and_o eat_v this_o give_v great_a comfort_n to_o my_o soul_n at_o several_a time_n though_o it_o be_v so_o much_o cast_v down_o and_o that_o which_o give_v i_o great_a content_n and_o comfort_n be_v the_o seal_n of_o god_n spirit_n in_o my_o heart_n give_v evidence_n of_o peace_n in_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n by_o these_o testimony_n 1._o my_o love_n to_o god_n be_v so_o that_o i_o be_o confident_a if_o the_o lord_n keep_v i_o with_o his_o spirit_n which_o at_o this_o time_n he_o have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o i_o can_v be_v content_a to_o part_v with_o any_o thing_n or_o lay_v down_o my_o lise_fw-fr for_o his_o glory_n if_o he_o will_v call_v i_o to_o it_o 2._o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v so_o toâ—inrich_v my_o soul_n with_o his_o spirit_n that_o i_o loathe_v the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n when_o they_o will_v draw_v i_o in_o any_o thing_n from_o submit_v to_o the_o motion_n of_o god_n spirit_n in_o my_o heart_n i_o once_o think_v nothing_o can_v have_v draw_v i_o from_o the_o love_n of_o the_o vain_a thing_n of_o the_o world_n but_o now_o i_o do_v as_o much_o disdain_v they_o for_o god_n and_o more_o than_o then_o i_o love_v they_o 3._o i_o desire_v to_o follow_v god_n ordinance_n and_o find_v great_a enlargment_n of_o my_o heart_n to_o god_n both_o to_o and_o in_o the_o ordinance_n and_o particular_o from_o mr._n s._n mr._n w._n and_o other_o from_o who_o many_o thing_n have_v fall_v that_o have_v much_o refresh_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n in_o duty_n to_o god_n more_o refresh_v than_o in_o any_o thing_n 4._o i_o find_v much_o peace_n in_o my_o conscience_n because_o of_o a_o free_a submission_n which_o his_o spirit_n have_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n to_o all_o the_o command_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o i_o find_v comfort_n in_o that_o true_a circumcision_n which_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n wrought_v by_o his_o spirit_n 5._o i_o find_v every_o every_o day_n so_o great_a a_o peace_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o such_o comfort_n in_o god_n that_o i_o can_v be_v willing_a and_o i_o bless_v god_n find_v in_o myself_o a_o readiness_n to_o die_v every_o moment_n xxii_o experience_n of_o a._n a._n about_o two_o year_n since_o my_o husband_n be_v sore_o wound_v which_o i_o take_v as_o a_o great_a trial_n not_o have_v above_o a_o month_n to_o go_v with_o child_n and_o i_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o and_o about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n after_o i_o be_v up_o all_o my_o child_n be_v sick_a together_o of_o the_o small_a pox._n yet_o all_o this_o do_v not_o work_v upon_o i_o inward_o so_o sensible_o as_o about_o a_o month_n afterward_o that_o one_o of_o my_o child_n die_v sudden_o when_o i_o think_v he_o have_v be_v near_o well_o than_o i_o say_v the_o wage_n of_o sin_n be_v death_n think_v that_o the_o lord_n have_v warn_v i_o by_o fatherly_a threaten_n before_o but_o i_o do_v not_o hearken_v to_o he_o and_o therefore_o i_o think_v he_o smite_v i_o now_o by_o the_o death_n of_o my_o child_n but_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o enter_v into_o any_o particular_a sin_n that_o god_n shall_v strike_v at_o only_o in_o general_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n to_o lay_v open_a my_o sin_n to_o i_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v that_o the_o lord_n take_v my_o child_n so_o sudden_o from_o i_o but_o be_v comfort_v by_o mr._n strong_a in_o some_o sermon_n preach_v from_o the_o word_n the_o church_n to_o paul_n go_v to_o suffer_v at_o jerusalem_n act_v 21.14_o when_o he_o will_v not_o be_v persuade_v we_o cease_v say_v the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v so_o i_o be_v settle_v pretty_a well_o in_o my_o thought_n till_o sudden_o the_o lord_n strike_v the_o elder_a of_o my_o two_o child_n then_o live_v which_o be_v a_o boy_n my_o other_o which_o be_v a_o girl_n i_o do_v not_o so_o much_o value_n but_o now_o i_o do_v and_o know_v god_n mercy_n in_o spare_v she_o but_o my_o child_n that_o then_o dye_v be_v the_o chief_a comfort_n that_o my_o heart_n be_v fix_v upon_o in_o this_o world_n which_o be_v so_o great_a a_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v sleep_v few_o night_n quiet_a i_o desire_v to_o know_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n what_o he_o will_v do_v with_o i_o sometime_o i_o shall_v have_v difpair_v through_o great_a busfeting_n inward_o but_o that_o the_o lord_n sustain_v i_o sometime_o i_o think_v that_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n be_v hindle_v against_o i_o think_v never_o to_o have_v comfort_n in_o this_o world_n again_o but_o bless_v be_v the_o lord_n for_o it_o he_o have_v often_o comfort_v i_o in_o this_o that_o i_o have_v think_v he_o do_v it_o in_o love_n to_o i_o yet_o sometime_o i_o have_v fear_v that_o i_o shall_v despair_v and_o that_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n be_v against_o i_o in_o it_o have_v be_v trouble_v with_o thought_n that_o i_o be_v the_o death_n of_o my_o child_n thus_o i_o have_v be_v between_o hope_n and_o despair_v and_o can_v not_o find_v what_o the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v in_o it_o towards_o i_o and_o i_o have_v fear_n that_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n be_v still_o against_o i_o for_o further_a punishment_n because_o i_o have_v have_v many_o temptation_n upon_o i_o in_o low_a thought_n of_o god_n but_o i_o have_v go_v to_o prayer_n and_o desire_v the_o lord_n to_o deliver_v i_o and_o discover_v his_o mind_n to_o i_o in_o every_o thing_n that_o i_o do_v and_o have_v find_v a_o willingness_n to_o part_v with_o any_o thing_n even_o to_o cut_v off_o a_o limb_n or_o any_o thing_n if_o i_o can_v find_v out_o what_o it_o be_v and_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v find_v a_o good_a spirit_n resist_v the_o bad_a yet_o i_o have_v be_v under_o much_o fear_n that_o i_o be_v not_o a_o child_n of_o god_n but_o it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o comfort_v i_o in_o this_o that_o paul_n life_n be_v subject_a to_o temptation_n therefore_o i_o have_v hope_n and_o cast_v myself_o upon_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n resolve_v that_o if_o i_o perish_v i_o perish_v never_o dare_v to_o offend_v willing_o in_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o know_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n yet_o i_o know_v i_o be_o a_o wretched_a sinner_n but_o i_o humble_o desire_v to_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n so_o far_o as_o i_o be_o able_a and_o in_o that_o i_o can_v say_v with_o david_n psal_n 42.1_o as_o the_o heart_n pant_v after_o the_o water-brook_n so_o pant_v my_o soul_n after_o thou_o o_o god_n i_o find_v comfort_n with_o he_o to_o say_v why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o o_o my_o soul_n and_o why_o be_v thou_o disquiet_v within_o i_o hope_v thou_o in_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v yet_o praise_v he_o for_o the_o help_n of_o his_o countenance_n verse_n 5._o and_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n with_o the_o prophet_n micha_n i_o will_v wait_v for_o the_o god_n of_o my_o salvation_n my_o god_n will_v hear_v i_o mich._n 7.7_o and_o i_o have_v find_v much_o comfort_n in_o apply_v several_a promise_n to_o my_o
let_v the_o devil_n have_v they_o for_o nothing_o and_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o lord_n i_o repulse_v the_o devil_n say_v satan_n when_o thou_o in_o tempt_a christ_n show_v he_o the_o whole_a world_n thou_o promise_v he_o that_o which_o be_v none_o of_o thou_o own_o nor_o be_o i_o thou_o and_o therefore_o avoid_v satan_n for_o thou_o have_v nothing_o to_o do_v with_o i_o and_o then_o the_o devil_n depart_v from_o i_o then_o my_o heart_n be_v much_o fill_v with_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o with_o a_o mixture_n of_o tear_n and_o joy_n i_o have_v sweet_a comfort_n from_o the_o lord_n and_o though_o i_o have_v have_v many_o doubt_n upon_o my_o spirit_n sometime_o yet_o i_o have_v since_o find_v very_o great_a consolation_n through_o faith_n in_o the_o promise_n of_o god_n as_o in_o these_o and_z divers_z other_o matth._n 11.28_o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n i_o thank_v god_n i_o have_v find_v much_o rest_n and_o refreshment_n by_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o that_o his_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o i_o matth._n 5.6_o bless_a be_v they_o which_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v fill_v i_o have_v often_o lay_v hold_v on_o this_o promise_n with_o a_o thirst_a desire_n after_o jesus_n christ_n and_o he_o have_v fill_v i_o with_o comfort_n and_o the_o comfort_n wherewith_o christ_n do_v comfort_n peter_n bid_v he_o not_o to_o fear_v for_o he_o have_v pray_v for_o he_o have_v be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o give_v i_o great_a consolation_n in_o that_o i_o know_v christ_n be_v hear_v in_o all_o that_o he_o pray_v to_o the_o father_n and_o i_o find_v the_o testimony_n of_o my_o conversion_n to_o god_n which_o give_v satisfaction_n to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o be_o a_o true_a believer_n 1._o though_o i_o do_v all_o that_o i_o can_v to_o serve_v god_n as_o he_o have_v command_v i_o yet_o i_o find_v great_a imperâ—_n fection_n and_o utter_a unworthiness_n in_o myself_o to_o deserve_v any_o thing_n of_o god_n but_o my_o whole_a dependence_n and_o hope_n of_o salvation_n be_v in_o god_n free_a grace_n in_o the_o blood_n and_o merit_n of_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n 2._o i_o do_v find_v that_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n constrain_v i_o to_o love_n god_n again_o above_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n and_o whatever_o i_o be_o about_o my_o soul_n be_v delight_v with_o god_n above_o all_o 3._o i_o find_v that_o the_o lord_n draw_v my_o heart_n to_o hate_v all_o evil_a communication_n and_o evil_a thing_n and_o not_o so_o much_o to_o fear_v the_o punishment_n of_o the_o world_n for_o any_o thing_n as_o to_o sin_n against_o god_n 4._o i_o be_o much_o delight_v in_o the_o working_n of_o god_n spirit_n and_o it_o be_v a_o great_a joy_n and_o comfort_n to_o my_o soul_n when_o my_o heart_n be_v enlarge_v towards_o god_n 5._o my_o heart_n be_v much_o affect_v unto_o ordinance_n and_o if_o satan_n suggest_v worldly_a thought_n to_o hinder_v i_o from_o duty_n i_o have_v call_v upon_o god_n and_o find_v comfort_n and_o when_o i_o have_v come_v to_o duty_n with_o cold_a affection_n i_o have_v be_v much_o refresh_v in_o the_o duty_n 〈◊〉_d though_o sometime_o i_o have_v feel_v pain_n and_o distemper_n in_o my_o body_n which_o i_o have_v thought_n satan_n have_v do_v to_o make_v i_o weary_a in_o duty_n yet_o i_o have_v call_v on_o the_o lord_n and_o find_v comfort_n 6._o i_o find_v great_a peace_n and_o much_o comfort_n in_o the_o lord_n so_o that_o i_o can_v be_v willing_a to_o die_v and_o it_o be_v a_o great_a joy_n to_o i_o in_o that_o i_o expect_v to_o die_v that_o i_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o the_o affliction_n of_o the_o world_n to_o enter_v into_o eternal_a joy_n with_o christ_n for_o ever_o e._n o._n xxiv_o expeience_n of_o a._n g._n i_o have_v be_v many_o year_n since_o very_o sensible_a of_o my_o natural_a estate_n and_o do_v lie_v long_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n which_o be_v so_o great_a a_o burden_n to_o i_o that_o they_o make_v i_o almost_o despair_v insomuch_o that_o i_o can_v scarce_o either_o eat_v or_o drink_v but_o have_v my_o spirit_n dry_v up_o with_o the_o anguish_n thereof_o for_o i_o be_v bring_v up_o under_o the_o mean_n and_o from_o a_o child_n frequent_v the_o hear_n of_o the_o word_n and_o the_o first_o cause_n of_o my_o great_a torment_n be_v for_o that_o i_o once_o tell_v a_o lie_n against_o my_o conscience_n which_o so_o lie_v upon_o my_o spirit_n afterward_o that_o i_o can_v receive_v no_o comfort_n i_o go_v to_o hear_v the_o word_n and_o read_v the_o scripture_n yet_o all_o do_v but_o increase_v my_o horror_n several_a minister_n and_o godly_a people_n use_v great_a mean_n to_o comfort_v i_o but_o all_o in_o vain_a for_o a_o time_n and_o when_o i_o read_v the_o scripture_n i_o find_v every_o threaten_n and_o judgement_n therein_o that_o i_o fix_v my_o thought_n upon_o to_o speak_v terror_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o distraction_n be_v so_o great_a that_o my_o friend_n say_v i_o be_v mad_a and_o keep_v the_o bible_n from_o i_o for_o so_o often_o as_o i_o read_v in_o it_o i_o pore_v most_o upon_o that_o dreadful_a place_n matth._n 12.31_o all_o manner_n of_o sin_n and_o blasphemy_n shall_v be_v forgive_v unto_o man_n but_o the_o blasphemy_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n shall_v not_o be_v forgive_v unto_o man_n i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n be_v but_o i_o have_v a_o persuasion_n i_o have_v commit_v that_o sin_n and_o fear_v that_o my_o sin_n can_v not_o be_v pardon_v and_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o go_v to_o heaven_n but_o be_v cast_v off_o to_o the_o damn_a yet_o this_o the_o lord_n wrought_v for_o i_o and_o in_o i_o by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n to_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o be_v often_o pray_v in_o that_o poor_a doubt_a way_n my_o spirit_n can_v by_o the_o lord_n assistance_n souchsafe_v to_o i_o attain_v unto_o for_o though_o i_o think_v it_o in_o vain_a and_o that_o god_n will_v not_o hear_v i_o yet_o i_o continue_v pray_v and_o often_o cry_v to_o god_n not_o only_o in_o the_o day_n time_n but_o frequent_o in_o the_o night_n and_o rise_v out_o of_o my_o bed_n to_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o and_o i_o be_v sometime_o a_o little_a comfort_v in_o that_o i_o be_v persuade_v to_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v dash_v again_o through_o fear_n that_o i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o i_o think_v that_o all_o victual_n and_o every_o thing_n be_v too_o good_a for_o i_o and_o that_o i_o be_v unworthy_a of_o all_o enjoyment_n thus_o i_o lay_v for_o some_o month_n in_o a_o sad_a agony_n wrestle_v with_o temptation_n perplex_v between_o hope_n and_o despair_n but_o at_o last_o in_o hear_v mr._n w._n minister_n of_o b._n and_o read_v a_o book_n call_v the_o new_a birth_n i_o find_v comfort_n be_v better_o satisfy_v what_o the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n be_v than_o before_o since_o which_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v for_o some_o year_n past_a find_v much_o comfort_n from_o the_o promise_v of_o god_n reveal_v in_o his_o holy_a word_n some_o of_o which_o follow_v matth._n 5.6_o bless_a be_v they_o which_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v fill_v my_o chief_a desire_n be_v after_o jesus_n christ_n and_o to_o follow_v he_o by_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n not_o doubt_v but_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v bless_v in_o that_o grace_n which_o he_o communicate_v to_o i_o from_o his_o fullness_n matth._n 11.28_o come_v â—nto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n this_o promise_n be_v to_o soul_n lade_v with_o dejection_n and_o universal_a to_o all_o that_o come_v to_o christ_n have_v much_o comfort_v my_o heart_n in_o that_o by_o his_o spirit_n he_o have_v drawn-forth_a my_o soul_n to_o come_v to_o he_o and_o as_o a_o testimony_n of_o my_o love_n to_o god_n and_o evidence_n of_o my_o faith_n i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v these_o comfortable_a fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o soul_n 1._o though_o i_o do_v all_o that_o i_o can_v to_o serve_v god_n yet_o in_o all_o thing_n i_o find_v infirmity_n in_o i_o so_o that_o all_o my_o trust_n be_v only_o in_o the_o meriâ—s_n of_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n 2._o though_o i_o can_v be_v so_o holy_a as_o i_o shall_v yet_o i_o desire_v and_o labour_n to_o be_v as_o holy_a as_o i_o can_v 3._o when_o my_o heart_n be_v dull_a cold_a
to_o submit_v have_v not_o any_o objection_n against_o it_o for_o it_o comprehend_v all_o sort_n of_o sinner_n although_o never_o so_o great_a yet_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o this_o son_n of_o god_n shall_v enjoy_v such_o a_o sweet_a promise_n no_o less_o than_o eternal_a life_n in_o the_o 16._o verse_n god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o in_o act_n 10.43_o that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v receive_v remission_n of_o sin_n then_o in_o gal._n 2.20_o i_o live_v by_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n who_o love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o and_o christ_n jesus_n die_v for_o sinner_n of_o who_o i_o be_o chief_a see_v this_o application_n of_o christ_n that_o paul_n make_v in_o particular_a to_o himself_o who_o be_v a_o very_a great_a sinner_n in_o do_v much_o embolden_v i_o in_o the_o like_a rom._n 5.8,9_o god_n commend_v his_o love_n towards_o we_o in_o that_o while_o we_o be_v yet_o sinner_n christ_n die_v for_o the_o ungodly_a and_o i_o be_v ungodly_a therefore_o i_o believe_v christ_n dye_v for_o i_o and_o when_o we_o be_v yet_o without_o strength_n in_o due_a time_n christ_n die_v for_o sinner_n i_o be_o a_o sinner_n and_o therefore_o christ_n die_v for_o i_o and_o he_o be_v reconcile_v unto_o we_o while_o we_o be_v enemy_n for_o the_o lord_n to_o be_v thus_o reconoiled_a to_o ungodly_a to_o sinner_n to_o enemy_n this_o be_v more_o love_n indeed_o than_o ever_o i_o expect_v especial_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v have_v be_v half_o so_o gracious_a to_o i_o this_o turn_v all_o my_o former_a sorrow_n into_o joy_n cry_v out_o what_o shall_v i_o render_v unto_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o benefit_n that_o he_o have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o for_o what_o be_v i_o or_o any_o of_o my_o father_n house_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v so_o merciful_a unto_o i_o and_o i_o have_v these_o testimonis_fw-la of_o my_o real_a conversion_n to_o god_n 1._o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o spirit_n adopt_v i_o to_o be_v his_o child_n gal._n 3.4,5_o god_n send_v forth_o his_o son_n to_o redeem_v those_o that_o be_v under_o the_o law_n that_o they_o may_v receive_v the_o adoption_n of_o son_n and_o because_o you_o be_v son_n god_n have_v send_v forth_o the_o spirit_n of_o his_o son_n into_o your_o heart_n cry_v abba_n father_n wherefore_o thou_o be_v no_o more_o a_o servant_n but_o a_o son_n i_o be_v once_o under_o the_o law_n dead_a i_o be_o now_o by_o christ_n redeem_v and_o i_o bless_v god_n for_o this_o precious_a privilege_n that_o i_o can_v call_v god_n my_o father_n 2._o christ_n hathfulfil_v the_o law_n therefore_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v condemn_v by_o the_o law_n but_o justify_v by_o jesus_n christ_n without_o the_o deed_n of_o the_o law_n there_o be_v a_o time_n when_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o sin_n and_o in_o ungodliness_n be_v alienate_v from_o the_o commonwealth_n of_o israel_n and_o a_o stranger_n to_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n have_v no_o hope_n and_o without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n but_o be_v make_v alive_a by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o see_v my_o sin_n do_v away_o and_o do_v believe_v that_o christ_n have_v bear_v on_o his_o body_n all_o my_o sin_n he_o be_v bruise_v for_o our_o transgression_n isa_n 53._o and_o the_o lord_n lay_v on_o he_o the_o iniquity_n of_o we_o all_o by_o who_o stripe_n we_o be_v heal_v so_o that_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o by_o one_o offering_n he_o have_v perfect_v for_o ever_o all_o those_o that_o be_v sanctify_v heb._n 10._o and_o that_o christ_n jesus_n be_v become_v a_o full_a and_o perfect_a satisfaction_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o that_o the_o lord_n be_v well_o please_v with_o and_o content_v in_o this_o satisfaction_n mat._n 3._o that_o be_v my_o well-beloved_a son_n in_o who_o i_o be_o well_o please_v 3._o i_o be_o in_o and_o through_o god_n free_a grace_n what_o i_o be_o not_o for_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o or_o that_o i_o can_v do_v but_o as_o in_o titus_n 4.5_o we_o ourselves_o be_v sometime_o foolish_a disobedient_a serve_v divers_a lust_n but_o when_o the_o kindness_n and_o love_n of_o god_n our_o saviour_n appear_v towards_o man_n not_o by_o work_n of_o righteousness_n which_o we_o have_v do_v but_o according_a to_o his_o mercy_n he_o save_v we_o that_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n we_o shall_v be_v make_v heir_n according_a to_o the_o hope_n of_o eternal_a life_n and_o in_o another_o place_n 1_o tim._n 1.9_o who_o have_v save_v we_o and_o call_v we_o with_o a_o holy_a call_n not_o according_a to_o our_o work_n but_o according_a to_o his_o own_o purpose_n and_o grace_n in_o christ_n jesus_n before_o the_o world_n begin_v therefore_o i_o believe_v that_o god_n the_o father_n love_v i_o in_o jesus_n christ_n 1_o john_n 4.19_o we_o love_v he_o because_o he_o love_v we_o first_o john_n 14.14_o you_o have_v not_o choose_v i_o but_o i_o have_v choose_v you_o that_o you_o shall_v bring_v forth_o much_o fruit_n isa_n 43.25_o ay_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o all_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o iniquity_n and_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n even_o because_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n christ_n cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o sin_n i_o plain_o see_v it_o be_v the_o lord_n do_n and_o it_o be_v marvellous_a in_o my_o eye_n as_o in_o ephes_n 2._o you_o who_o be_v dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n have_v he_o quicken_v together_o with_o he_o by_o grace_n you_o be_v save_v and_o that_o not_o of_o yourselves_o it_o be_v the_o gift_n of_o god_n i_o find_v as_o christ_n jesus_n be_v a_o free_a gift_n to_o i_o and_o for_o i_o so_o be_v this_o save_a grace_n of_o faith_n a_o free_a gift_n also_o from_o the_o lord_n to_o my_o soul_n rom._n 3.24_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n through_o the_o redemption_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n to_o declare_v his_o righteousness_n for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n that_o he_o may_v be_v just_a and_o the_o justifier_n of_o he_o that_o believe_v in_o jesus_n so_o that_o all_o boast_n of_o the_o creature_n be_v exclude_v by_o the_o law_n of_o faith_n as_o by_o the_o disobedience_n of_o one_o many_o be_v make_v sinner_n so_o by_o the_o obedience_n of_o one_o shall_v many_o be_v make_v righteous_a 4._o i_o believe_v that_o as_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n find_v in_o christ_n and_o yet_o a_o sinner_n by_o imputation_n so_o i_o be_v a_o sinner_n indeed_o shall_v be_v make_v righteous_a by_o god_n imputation_n for_o it_o please_v god_n to_o make_v he_o become_v sin_n for_o we_o who_o know_v no_o sin_n that_o we_o may_v be_v make_v the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n in_o he_o 5._o i_o have_v the_o seal_n of_o the_o spirit_n as_o paul_n say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n bear_v witness_n with_o our_o spirit_n that_o we_o be_v the_o child_n of_o god_n and_o if_o child_n than_o heir_n of_o god_n and_o joint_a heir_n with_o christ_n in_o this_o our_o freedom_n 6._o i_o do_v believe_v that_o god_n the_o father_n love_v i_o and_o elect_v i_o for_o the_o son_n to_o redeem_v and_o that_o jesus_n christ_n love_v i_o as_o give_v of_o the_o father_n for_o he_o to_o redeem_v and_o manifest_v it_o to_o i_o and_o the_o holy_a ghost_n love_v i_o as_o elect_v of_o the_o father_n and_o redeem_v by_o the_o son_n and_o do_v evidence_n it_o in_o i_o which_o be_v the_o earnest_n of_o my_o inheritance_n and_o there_o be_v a_o expression_n in_o john_n 3._o last_o he_o that_o believe_v in_o the_o son_n have_v everlasting_a life_n 7._o i_o do_v believe_v that_o i_o have_v everlasting_a life_n already_o in_o possession_n 1._o by_o the_o promise_n fear_v not_o little_a flock_n for_o it_o be_v your_o father_n good_a pleasure_n to_o give_v you_o a_o kingdom_n 2._o in_o the_o first_o fruit_n for_o what_o be_v heaven_n hereafter_o but_o a_o more_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o what_o be_v begin_v here_o what_o we_o receive_v now_o be_v but_o a_o taste_n of_o what_o we_o shall_v receive_v as_o 1_o john_n 4.2_o belove_a now_o be_v we_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v but_o we_o know_v that_o when_o we_o shall_v appear_v we_o shall_v be_v like_o he_o for_o we_o shall_v see_v he_o as_o he_o be_v 3._o i_o do_v enjoy_v it_o by_o my_o head_n christ_n who_o have_v take_v full_a possession_n of_o it_o already_o for_o i_o therefore_o see_v i_o be_o not_o my_o own_o i_o be_o buy_v with_o a_o price_n therefore_o i_o desire_v to_o glorify_v god_n with_o my_o soul_n and_o body_n which_o
be_v the_o lord_n say_v with_o mary_n in_o luke_n 1._o my_o soul_n do_v magnify_v the_o lord_n and_o my_o spirit_n do_v rejoice_v in_o god_n my_o saviour_n who_o have_v regard_v the_o low_a estate_n of_o his_o handmaid_n 8._o though_o former_o my_o foundation_n be_v build_v upon_o the_o sand_n and_o therefore_o easy_o overthrow_v yet_o now_o i_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o be_o establish_v by_o faith_n build_v upon_o that_o rock_n which_o be_v the_o love_n of_o god_n my_o saviour_n christ_n be_v the_o corner_n stone_n isa_n 28.16_o behold_v i_o lie_v in_o zion_n a_o stone_n a_o try_a stone_n he_o that_o believe_v shall_v not_o make_v haste_n 9_o i_o wait_v upon_o the_o will_n of_o my_o heavenly_a father_n in_o all_o his_o dispensation_n for_o a_o more_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o jesus_n christ_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o and_o i_o have_v the_o promise_n of_o my_o god_n that_o i_o shall_v be_v fill_v and_o have_v taste_v i_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a and_o more_o to_o be_v desire_v than_o thousand_o of_o world_n 10._o i_o believe_v not_o upon_o other_o word_n but_o as_o in_o john_n 4.42_o as_o some_o say_v to_o the_o woman_n of_o samaria_n now_o we_o believe_v not_o because_o of_o thy_o say_n for_o we_o have_v hear_v he_o ourselves_o and_o know_v that_o this_o be_v indeed_o the_o christ_n the_o saviour_n of_o the_o world_n 11._o as_o david_n say_v i_o have_v faint_v unless_o i_o have_v believe_v to_o see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o i_o believe_v therefore_o have_v i_o speak_v for_o i_o be_v great_o afflict_v as_o the_o apostle_n say_v you_o be_v complete_a in_o christ_n therefore_o i_o reckon_v myself_o in_o he_o 12._o the_o lord_n have_v clear_v it_o to_o i_o that_o i_o be_o a_o believer_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o christ_n jesus_n do_v pray_v to_o his_o father_n for_o i_o in_o the_o 17._o of_o john_n say_v i_o pray_v not_o for_o these_o only_a but_o for_o they_o that_o shall_v believe_v through_o their_o word_n that_o they_o may_v be_v one_o even_o as_o we_o be_v one_o therefore_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n and_o i_o will_v praise_v thou_o for_o thou_o have_v hear_v i_o and_o be_v become_v my_o salvation_n thus_o in_o some_o measure_n i_o have_v weak_o hint_v out_o a_o reason_n of_o the_o hope_n that_o be_v in_o i_o trust_v in_o my_o god_n that_o as_o he_o have_v take_v away_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n out_o of_o my_o conscience_n so_o in_o his_o due_a time_n he_o will_v take_v away_o all_o sin_n from_o my_o conversation_n as_o he_o have_v give_v i_o a_o pardon_n for_o sin_n so_o he_o will_v overpower_v all_o my_o corruption_n that_o i_o may_v live_v more_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o grace_n wherein_o he_o have_v make_v i_o accept_v in_o the_o belove_a and_o that_o i_o shall_v become_v over_o sin_n satan_n self_n and_o all_o thing_n opposite_a to_o grace_n more_o than_o a_o conqueror_n through_o he_o that_o have_v love_v i_o and_o wash_v i_o from_o my_o sin_n in_o his_o blood_n for_o to_o he_o be_v all_o thing_n possible_a and_o he_o be_v the_o wise_a master-builder_n who_o will_v not_o only_o begin_v but_o will_v go_v on_o to_o accomplish_v his_o own_o work_n d._n r._n xxviii_o experience_n of_o a._n o._n i_o have_v undergo_v sad_a trouble_n of_o spirit_n for_o my_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v have_v a_o great_a sight_n and_o sense_n of_o and_o shed_v many_o tear_n for_o and_o desire_v to_o be_v true_o sorry_a for_o they_o and_o hate_v they_o and_o to_o have_v no_o more_o communion_n with_o they_o about_o two_o year_n i_o lay_v under_o very_o great_a temptation_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o for_o several_a night_n can_v not_o take_v any_o rest_n in_o my_o bed_n but_o be_v very_o weak_a with_o weep_v and_o much_o grieve_v for_o my_o evil_a thought_n yet_o the_o lord_n draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o call_v upon_o he_o and_o hope_v in_o he_o for_o mercy_n but_o i_o have_v many_o sore_a conflict_n insomuch_o that_o i_o can_v not_o lie_v in_o the_o chamber_n alone_o i_o make_v what_o use_n i_o can_v of_o opportunity_n to_o desire_v comfort_n from_o such_o godly_a christian_n as_o i_o can_v meet_v withal_o to_o counsel_v i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o i_o labour_v to_o hearken_v to_o they_o but_o find_v my_o heart_n very_o dull_a and_o heavy_a for_o a_o time_n until_o about_o three_o year_n since_o i_o begin_v to_o find_v comfort_n from_o some_o sermon_n that_o i_o hear_v and_o book_n that_o i_o read_v and_o some_o thought_n that_o the_o lord_n settle_v upon_o my_o heart_n by_o his_o spirit_n hope_v that_o there_o be_v mercy_n for_o i_o and_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o i_o have_v all_o the_o prayer_n of_o all_o the_o saint_n in_o the_o world_n put_v up_o to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n for_o i_o and_o that_o my_o saviour_n have_v satisfy_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o through_o he_o god_n be_v reconcile_v to_o i_o and_o in_o particular_a i_o find_v comfort_n from_o these_o and_o some_o other_o promise_n john_n 16.35_o jesus_n say_v unto_o they_o i_o be_o the_o bread_n of_o life_n he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o shall_v never_o hunger_n and_o he_o that_o believe_v on_o i_o shall_v never_o thirst_v verse_n 37._o all_o that_o the_o father_n give_v i_o shall_v come_v to_o i_o and_o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o john_n 14.1_o let_v not_o your_o heart_n be_v trouble_v you_o believe_v in_o god_n believe_v also_o in_o i_o jerem._n 31.23_o but_o this_o shall_v he_o the_o covenant_n that_o i_o will_v make_v with_o the_o house_n of_o israel_n after_o those_o day_n say_v the_o lord_n i_o will_v put_v my_o law_n in_o their_o inward_a part_n and_o write_v it_o in_o their_o heart_n and_o i_o will_v be_v their_o god_n and_o they_o shall_v be_v my_o people_n and_o i_o do_v find_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o testimony_n of_o my_o believe_v &_o that_o i_o do_v love_n god_n wrought_v in_o i_o by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n by_o these_o particular_n 1._o i_o love_v god_n not_o through_o slavish_a fear_n but_o for_o his_o name_n and_o glory_n so_o that_o i_o can_v leave_v all_o for_o he_o and_o nothing_o be_v so_o dear_a and_o precious_a unto_o i_o as_o the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o nothing_o so_o great_a a_o joy_n to_o i_o as_o that_o christ_n who_o die_v for_o i_o have_v not_o leave_v i_o 2._o i_o find_v such_o comfort_n from_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o by_o his_o spirit_n revive_v my_o droop_a heart_n and_o fill_v my_o empty_a soul_n and_o when_o my_o poor_a spirit_n be_v even_o faint_v away_o i_o find_v comfort_n from_o his_o glorious_a power_n and_o presence_n 3._o when_o i_o can_v come_v to_o ordinance_n it_o be_v a_o grief_n to_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_o in_o duty_n it_o be_v a_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o i_o be_o so_o dull_a and_o find_v no_o more_o enlargement_n yet_o my_o affection_n be_v groan_v after_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o duty_n and_o i_o have_v a_o great_a longing_n to_o receive_v more_o of_o christ_n and_o i_o find_v more_o comfort_n when_o my_o heart_n be_v enlarge_v in_o duty_n than_o in_o any_o other_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n and_o i_o know_v that_o all_o my_o comfort_n be_v from_o jesus_n christ_n 4._o what_o i_o desire_v to_o enjoy_v i_o seek_v to_o enjoy_v it_o in_o god_n through_o peace_n of_o conscience_n that_o it_o may_v be_v to_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o faith_n for_o god_n be_v pure_a and_o it_o be_v a_o great_a grief_n to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v serve_v my_o god_n no_o better_o 5._o i_o do_v not_o fear_v death_n for_o my_o faith_n be_v so_o settle_a in_o god_n that_o i_o long_o to_o be_v with_o my_o saviour_n when_o he_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o call_v i_o to_o he_o christ_n have_v dye_v for_o i_o to_o take_v away_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o second_o death_n a._n o._n xxix_o experience_n of_o m._n w._n i_o have_v from_o my_o childhood_n desire_v to_o serve_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o make_v his_o commandment_n my_o rule_n to_o walk_v by_o and_o i_o think_v once_o that_o i_o can_v have_v say_v with_o the_o young_a man_n in_o the_o gospel_n all_o these_o have_v i_o keep_v from_o my_o youth_n but_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o visit_v i_o with_o a_o grievous_a sickness_n even_o unto_o death_n and_o then_o my_o heart_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_v a_o great_a sinner_n and_o my_o conscience_n accuse_v i_o that_o i_o have_v love_v the_o world_n more_o than_o i_o have_v love_v jesus_n christ_n then_o i_o be_v afflict_v in_o my_o spirit_n with_o fear_n because_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v
hurry_n or_o perturbation_n of_o mind_n or_o body_n arise_v from_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n or_o dread_a of_o hell_n only_o but_o from_o a_o ingenious_a love_n to_o god_n and_o a_o uniform_a regard_n to_o virtue_n suitable_a to_o that_o solemn_a declaration_n of_o he_o i_o will_v not_o commit_v the_o least_o sin_n to_o gain_v a_o kingdom_n and_o he_o have_v all_o possible_a symptom_n of_o a_o last_a perseverance_n in_o this_o admirable_a christian_a resolution_n if_o god_n have_v restore_v he_o to_o health_n to_o which_o may_v be_v add_v his_o comfortable_a persuasion_n of_o god_n accept_v he_o to_o his_o mercy_n say_v three_o or_o four_o day_n before_o his_o death_n i_o shall_v die_v but_o oh_o what_o unspeakable_a glory_n do_v i_o see_v what_o joy_n beyond_o thought_n or_o expression_n be_o i_o sensible_a of_o i_o be_o assure_v of_o god_n mercy_n to_o i_o through_o jesus_n christ_n oh_o how_o i_o long_o to_o die_v and_o to_o be_v with_o my_o saviour_n the_o time_n of_o his_o sickness_n and_o repentance_n be_v just_a nine_o week_n in_o all_o which_o space_n he_o be_v so_o much_o master_n of_o his_o reason_n and_o have_v so_o clear_a a_o understanding_n except_o about_o thirty_o hour_n in_o which_o he_o be_v delirious_a that_o he_o never_o dictate_v or_o speak_v more_o compose_v in_o his_o life_n and_o therefore_o if_o any_o shall_v continue_v to_o say_v his_o piety_n be_v the_o effect_n of_o madness_n or_o vapour_n the_o assertion_n be_v as_o silly_a as_o it_o be_v wicked_a and_o that_o the_o force_n of_o this_o great_a penitence_n may_v not_o be_v evade_v by_o evil_a man_n who_o be_v resolve_v to_o harden_v their_o heart_n against_o all_o conviction_n by_o say_v it_o be_v do_v in_o a_o corner_n the_o truth_n hereof_o be_v very_o well_o know_v to_o all_o sort_n of_o person_n who_o in_o considerable_a number_n visit_v and_o attend_v he_o and_o particular_o by_o those_o eminent_a physician_n who_o be_v conversant_a with_o he_o in_o the_o whole_a course_n of_o his_o tedious_a sickness_n and_o who_o if_o any_o be_v competent_a judge_n whether_o he_o be_v 〈◊〉_d a_o frenzy_n or_o distract_a who_o all_o declare_v that_o he_o have_v not_o the_o least_o symptom_n of_o it_o but_o be_v as_o seasâ—…ble_a as_o at_o any_o time_n in_o his_o life_n and_o health_n and_o if_o any_o shall_v be_v still_o unsatisfied_a herein_o in_o this_o hard_a heart_a generation_n it_o matter_n not_o let_v they_o at_o their_o cost_n be_v unbeliever_n still_o so_o long_o as_o this_o excellent_a penitent_a en_fw-fr joy_v the_o comfort_n of_o his_o repentance_n fince_n from_o all_o these_o admirable_a sign_n we_o have_v great_a reason_n to_o believe_v comfortable_o that_o his_o repentance_n be_v real_a and_o his_o end_n happy_a and_o we_o may_v according_o imitaâ—…_n he_o neighbour_n and_o cousin_n of_o elizabeth_n luke_n 1.52_o 〈…〉_o when_o they_o hear_v how_o the_o lord_n have_v sheweâ—…_n great_a mercy_n upon_o she_o come_v and_o rejoice_v with_o hen_n 〈…〉_o in_o we_o shall_v join_v with_o the_o whole_a court_n of_o heauâ—…y_n since_o our_o bless_a saviour_n have_v tell_v we_o luke_n 15.7_o 〈◊〉_d say_v unto_o you_o that_o joy_n shall_v he_o in_o heaven_n 〈…〉_o that_o repent_v more_o than_o over_o ninety_o and_o 〈…〉_o that_o need_v no_o repentance_n he_o die_v without_o 〈…〉_o or_o groan_v at_o woodstock_n park_n in_o oxfordshire_n july_n 26._o 1680._o postscript_n a_o account_n of_o the_o duty_n and_o usefulness_n of_o communicate_v experience_n be_v already_o give_v i_o shall_v only_o add_v that_o if_o any_o shall_v take_v offence_n at_o the_o publish_n of_o these_o experience_n and_o judge_v it_o unmeet_a especial_o because_o ill_a man_n may_v make_v a_o bad_a use_n of_o they_o i_o desire_v such_o to_o consider_v that_o wicked_a person_n will_v take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o scandalize_v religion_n though_o no_o occasion_n be_v give_v and_o they_o will_v likewise_o abuse_v the_o best_a of_o thing_n to_o evil_a purpose_n yet_o the_o prophet_n david_n say_v come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n restore_v unto_o i_o the_o joy_n of_o my_o salvaton_n then_o will_v i_o teach_v transgressor_n thy_o way_n and_o sinner_n shall_v be_v convert_v unto_o thou_o ps_n 51._o so_o that_o this_o declare_v of_o experience_n be_v one_o mean_n which_o we_o may_v expect_v the_o lord_n will_v make_v successful_a to_o the_o conversion_n of_o sinner_n and_o indeed_o the_o book_n of_o psalm_n be_v present_v to_o the_o eye_n of_o all_o man_n both_o good_a and_o bad_a and_o do_v consist_v for_o the_o most_o part_n of_o experience_n and_o paul_n declare_v the_o manner_n of_o his_o conversion_n to_o those_o that_o persecute_v he_o and_o the_o apostle_n peter_n bid_v we_o be_v ready_a always_o to_o give_v a_o answer_n to_o every_o man_n that_o ask_v a_o reason_n of_o the_o hope_n that_o be_v in_o we_o with_o meekness_n and_o fear_n there_o be_v several_a other_o use_n and_o advantage_n from_o declare_v experience_n which_o be_v mention_v in_o the_o beginning_n to_o which_o the_o reader_n be_v refer_v i_o shall_v conclude_v all_o with_o repeat_v my_o earnest_a desire_n that_o this_o small_a tract_n may_v be_v of_o some_o profit_n to_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n and_o then_o my_o design_n in_o publish_v it_o will_v be_v answer_v w._n d._n a_o catalogue_n of_o book_n print_v for_o nath._n crouch_v at_o the_o bell_n in_o the_o poultry_n near_o cheapside_n history_n 1._o england_n monarch_n or_o a_o relation_n of_o the_o most_o remarkable_a traosaction_n from_o julius_n caesar_n adorn_v with_o poem_n and_o the_o picture_n of_o every_o monarch_n from_o k._n will_v the_o conqueror_n to_o this_o time_n with_o a_o list_n of_o the_o nobility_n and_o the_o number_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o commons_o in_o both_o house_n of_o parliament_n and_o other_o usesul_n particular_n price_n one_o shilling_n 2._o the_o history_n of_o the_o house_n of_o orange_n or_o a_o relation_n of_o the_o magnanimon_n achievement_n of_o his_o majesty_n renown_a predecessor_n &_o like_o wise_a of_o his_o own_o heroic_a action_n till_o the_o late_a wonderful_a revolution_n together_o with_o the_o history_n of_o k._n william_n and_o q._n marry_o be_v a_o account_n of_o the_o most_o remarkable_a passage_n to_o this_o time_n price_n one_o shilling_n 3._o the_o history_n of_o the_o two_o late_a king_n charles_n ii_o and_o james_n ii_o and_o of_o the_o most_o observable_a passage_n during_o their_o reign_n and_o the_o secret_a french_a and_o popish_a intrigue_n in_o those_o time_n pr._n 1s_o 4._o the_o history_n of_o oliver_n cromwell_n be_v a_o impartial_a account_n of_o all_o the_o battle_n seiges_n &_o military_a achievement_n wherein_o he_o be_v engage_v in_o england_n scotland_n and_o ireland_n and_o likewise_o of_o his_o civil_a administration_n till_o his_o death_n relate_v matter_n of_o fact_n without_o reflection_n or_o observation_n pr._n 1s_o 5._o the_o war_n in_o england_n scotland_n and_o ireland_n contain_v a_o account_n of_o all_o the_o battle_n sieges_n and_o other_o remarkable_a transaction_n from_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o reign_n of_o k._n charles_n the_o firil_n 1625._o to_o 1660._o the_o trial_n of_o k._n charles_n i_o at_o large_a and_o his_o last_o speech_n with_o picture_n of_o several_a accident_n pr._n 1._o shilling_n 6._o historical_a remark_n and_o observation_n of_o the_o ancient_n and_o present_a state_n of_o london_n &_o westminster_n show_v the_o foundation_n wall_n gate_n bridges_n church_n rivers_n ward_n hall_n hospital_n school_n inn_n of_o court_n charter_n and_o privilege_n thereof_o with_o the_o most_o remarkable_a accident_n as_o to_o war_n fire_n plague_n etc._n etc._n for_o above_o 900_o year_n past_a pr._n 1s_o 7._o admirable_a curiosity_n rarity_n and_o wonder_n in_o england_n scotland_n and_o ireland_n or_o a_o account_n of_o many_o remarkable_a person_n and_o place_n and_o of_o the_o battle_n sieges_n earthquake_n tempest_n thunder_n fire_n murder_n &_o other_o occurence_n for_o many_o hundred_o year_n past_a with_o the_o natural_a and_o artificial_a rarity_n in_o every_o county_n and_o several_a sculpture_n pr._n 1s_o 8._o the_o history_n of_o the_o kingdom_n of_o scotland_n contain_v a_o account_n of_o all_o the_o war_n battle_n &_o other_o remarkable_a transaction_n revolution_n and_o state_n intrigue_n in_o that_o nation_n during_o the_o reign_n of_o 72._o king_n and_o queen_n to_o the_o seven_o year_n of_o king_n william_n iii_o intermix_v with_o variety_n of_o strange_a accident_n prodigious_a appearance_n and_o other_o considerable_a event_n and_o a_o list_n of_o the_o present_a nobility_n of_o that_o kingdom_n illustrate_v with_o picture_n pr._n 1s_o 9_o the_o history_n of_o the_o kingdom_n of_o ireland_n be_v a_o account_n of_o all_o the_o battle_n seiges_n &_o other_o memorable_a passage_n during_o the_o
scold_v not_o say_v god_n be_v i_o or_o have_v discover_v himself_o to_o i_o in_o pardon_v my_o sin_n yet_o this_o i_o have_v often_o thought_n of_o that_o i_o will_v throw_v myself_o upon_o christ_n and_o if_o i_o perish_v i_o perish_v and_o since_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v find_v some_o satisfaction_n in_o several_a place_n of_o scripture_n as_o first_o in_o matth._n 11.28_o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n and_o feel_v such_o a_o burden_n then_o upon_o my_o soul_n i_o rely_v upon_o that_o true_a rest_n another_o be_v in_o 1_o john_n 2.2_o and_o he_o be_v the_o reconciliation_n for_o our_o sin_n and_o not_o for_o we_o only_o but_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n i_o be_v one_o in_o the_o world_n i_o apply_v this_o to_o myself_o and_o in_o 1_o john_n 114._o the_o father_n send_v the_o son_n to_o be_v the_o saviour_n of_o the_o world_n another_o place_n of_o scripture_n be_v john_n 3.17_o for_o god_n send_v not_o his_o son_n into_o the_o world_n to_o condemn_v the_o world_n but_o that_o the_o world_n through_o he_o may_v be_v save_v and_o in_o verse_n 35._o he_o that_o believe_v on_o the_o son_n have_v everlasting_a life_n upon_o this_o account_n i_o say_v i_o believe_v lord_n help_v my_o unbelief_n and_o in_o the_o six_o chapter_n of_o john_n and_o 67_o and_o 68_o verse_n jesus_n say_v unto_o his_o disciple_n will_v you_o go_v from_o i_o also_o peter_n say_v unto_o he_o lord_n whither_o shall_v we_o go_v for_o thou_o have_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n so_o that_o i_o will_v now_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o a_o further_a manifestation_n of_o himself_o unto_o my_o soul_n in_o the_o use_n of_o his_o ordinance_n although_o i_o have_v not_o in_o time_n past_o be_v feed_v with_o the_o child_n bread_n yet_o now_o i_o do_v believe_v i_o shall_v not_o be_v deny_v those_o crumb_n of_o spiritual_a comfort_n to_o nourish_v and_o refresh_v my_o weary_a spirit_n for_o god_n say_v isa_n 55.1_o ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v you_o to_o the_o water_n and_o he_o that_o have_v no_o money_n come_v you_o buy_v and_o eat_v yea_o come_v buy_v wine_n and_o milk_n without_o money_n and_o without_o price_n and_o i_o praise_v god_n i_o have_v find_v of_o late_a a_o very_a great_a manifestation_n of_o god_n work_v a_o change_n upon_o my_o heart_n and_o draw_v i_o by_o true_a faith_n to_o himself_o 1._o about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n since_o i_o hear_v mr._n b._n on_o the_o lukewarmness_n of_o the_o church_n of_o laodicea_n show_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v refuse_v none_o that_o come_v to_o he_o in_o humbleness_n of_o spirit_n and_o sincerity_n of_o heart_n then_o i_o think_v sure_o i_o may_v make_v use_n of_o these_o full_a promise_n make_v to_o those_o that_o come_v to_o he_o and_o it_o put_v i_o to_o search_v the_o scripture_n which_o i_o do_v and_o find_v a_o great_a influence_n upon_o my_o spirit_n in_o the_o understanding_n of_o the_o word_n than_o before_o 2._o i_o be_o in_o all_o thing_n that_o i_o do_v fearful_a of_o offend_v god_n and_o my_o desire_n be_v to_o do_v all_o thing_n to_o his_o glory_n 3._o my_o love_n to_o god_n be_v so_o hearty_a that_o i_o delight_v to_o be_v meditate_v of_o god_n and_o to_o have_v communion_n with_o he_o and_o can_v wish_v that_o i_o may_v be_v whole_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a with_o god_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v never_o so_o at_o rest_n as_o when_o i_o be_o read_v of_o his_o truth_n and_o hear_v other_o speak_v of_o they_o 4._o i_o be_o so_o little_o affect_v to_o the_o world_n that_o i_o account_v it_o nothing_o i_o can_v willing_o leave_v all_o for_o god_n and_o i_o hope_v suffer_v any_o thing_n for_o god_n if_o he_o shall_v please_v to_o call_v i_o to_o it_o so_o far_o as_o i_o can_v judge_v of_o my_o own_o heart_n but_o herein_o trust_v in_o the_o power_n of_o christ_n 5._o sin_n be_v loathsome_a to_o i_o so_o that_o the_o affection_n that_o i_o do_v bear_v to_o some_o evil_n be_v go_v and_o i_o now_o loathe_v they_o more_o than_o before_o i_o love_v they_o 6._o i_o have_v many_o constict_n between_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o spirit_n but_o i_o find_v in_o those_o strive_n my_o heart_n most_o cleave_v to_o follow_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n know_v that_o if_o i_o give_v way_n to_o sin_n satan_n enter_v and_o with_o all_o my_o soul_n i_o desire_v and_o delight_n to_o follow_v the_o leading_n of_o god_n spirit_n 7._o in_o all_o thing_n the_o resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n be_v for_o do_v those_o thing_n that_o may_v please_v god_n and_o that_o without_o delay_n be_v fearful_a to_o offend_v god_n which_o through_o infirmity_n i_o do_v i_o have_v great_a trouble_n in_o spirit_n for_o it_o and_o my_o resolution_n be_v always_o against_o every_o thing_n that_o may_v hinder_v my_o peace_n with_o god_n 8._o i_o find_v in_o my_o heart_n so_o great_a a_o peace_n between_o god_n and_o my_o conscience_n that_o shall_v god_n now_o call_v i_o i_o shall_v be_v very_o well_o content_v to_o go_v to_o my_o saviour_n 9_o i_o do_v not_o doubt_v of_o god_n love_n to_o i_o because_o he_o have_v draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n sincere_o to_o love_v he_o 10._o my_o love_n have_v be_v always_o from_o a_o child_n to_o the_o people_n of_o god_n and_o my_o heart_n have_v be_v ever_o trouble_v when_o i_o have_v hear_v they_o evil_n speak_v of_o 11._o my_o affection_n be_v great_a to_o the_o ordinance_n and_o my_o heart_n long_v after_o they_o and_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o come_v with_o a_o cold_a heart_n to_o duty_n yet_o my_o heart_n be_v frequent_o warm_v and_o enlarge_v in_o those_o duty_n e._n c._n xviii_o experience_n of_o d._n m._n some_o year_n since_o through_o many_o cross_n increase_v upon_o i_o like_o a_o arm_a man_n i_o slay_v unto_o god_n to_o seek_v his_o mind_n by_o prayer_n and_o he_o discover_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v for_o my_o sin_n which_o be_v then_o set_v before_o i_o which_o cause_v in_o to_o feel_v the_o hand_n of_o god_n by_o affliction_n upon_o i_o that_o sin_n be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o suffering_n which_o lie_v very_o heavy_a upon_o i_o and_o terrify_v i_o so_o that_o i_o think_v i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o way_n to_o damnation_n and_o that_o if_o it_o have_v be_v in_o the_o way_n to_o salvation_n every_o affliction_n will_v not_o come_v so_o upon_o i_o great_a than_o i_o think_v i_o can_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v in_o particular_a the_o lord_n discover_v to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v too_o much_o love_v my_o husband_n in_o make_v a_o idol_n of_o he_o and_o therefore_o he_o just_o become_v a_o great_a terror_n to_o my_o spirit_n for_o he_o grow_v a_o enemy_n to_o goodness_n and_o so_o a_o hindrance_n to_o i_o in_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o while_o i_o thus_o dote_v on_o he_o he_o go_v away_o from_o i_o i_o fear_v through_o the_o sense_n of_o that_o and_o other_o sin_n together_o with_o the_o aggravation_n of_o my_o affliction_n that_o god_n do_v not_o love_v i_o yet_o it_o strike_v into_o my_o heart_n that_o god_n do_v not_o strike_v willing_o and_o therefore_o i_o endeavour_v to_o see_v what_o be_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n in_o it_o who_o have_v take_v away_o my_o husband_n good_n and_o all_o from_o i_o namely_o that_o he_o have_v do_v it_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o hang_v upon_o husk_n but_o shall_v love_v he_o and_o i_o find_v that_o i_o have_v love_v the_o world_n too_o much_o and_o set_v my_o heart_n too_o much_o upon_o these_o creature-comfort_n and_o therefore_o the_o lord_n take_v they_o away_o from_o i_o this_o wrought_v upon_o i_o great_a trouble_n and_o despair_n so_o that_o i_o cry_v till_o i_o be_v almost_o blind_a and_o i_o have_v great_a feâ—…_n and_o tremble_a upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o pray_v not_o hear_v with_o profit_n but_o think_v it_o be_v in_o vain_a for_o i_o to_o pray_v who_o god_n love_v not_o and_o who_o i_o have_v so_o offend_v about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n after_o i_o have_v a_o temptation_n by_o satan_n to_o drown_v myself_o in_o a_o pond_n near_o leeds_n in_o yorkshire_n whither_o the_o devil_n lead_v i_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o may_v do_v it_o there_o it_o be_v a_o private_a place_n where_o no_o body_n can_v see_v i_o and_o i_o come_v to_o the_o pond_n side_n but_o by_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n have_v a_o great_a love_n to_o a_o young_a infant_n i_o have_v i_o take_v that_o child_n in_o my_o arm_n and_o when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o place_n i_o look_v upon_o the_o child_n and_o consider_v with_o myself_o what_o shall_v