But the soule convinced by the spirit is convinced of this sin as of the sin of sinnes viz. unbeleefe Oh saith a soul which is convinced by the spirit I know drunkennesse is a sin uncleannesse is a sinne pride a sin c. But I know unbeleef is a sin as great ray greater then them all This is laid upon my spirit that Christ is come into the world sweetly discovering the love of God freely tendering reconcilement in his blood But I Oh I did little see and much slight him I did not make it my worke to go after him nor have I been willing when he hath come after me to accept him And this oh this hath been nay I fear 't is still my sin Oh this base vile damnable unbeleefe is that which hath and doth lye upon my spirit Other sins put me in an â—â—â—solute necessity of salvation and this sealed me under damnation HEE THAT BELEEVETH NOT HE IS CONDEMNED ALREADY Oh that Scripture tooke hold on me Christ came and was willing to imbrace but I would not beleeve He came sweetly weeing and I stood out sinfully rejecting He tendered grace freely and I did put off that tender wretchedly He said come unto me and I le ease you and I did not could not would not beleeve and therefore came not to him This O this I am convinced of as my sin and this I doubt is my sin to this day The truth is I can hardly beleive yet that Christ came to save sinners Why say Oh soul doth not thy heart answer to these things as face to face is there not a copy of this complaint in the secret tables of thy heart If there be pray who should nay who could write it but the spirit Who could take these things of Christ and reveale them unto thee but the spirit Surely if none can call Jesus Lord but by the spirit as it is 1 Cor. 12.3 Then none could be convinced so far of sin for not receiving of or beleeving in which is all one this Lord Christ but by the Holy Ghost But Secondly What is the great principle upon which you are most convicted Is it SENSE or HOPE of divine love It may be thou hast sometimes tasted how good the Lord is Peradventure you have had some sence of the love of God Or It may be you have only sometimes attained some hopes of divine loves Now is it this that doth most affect thy heart in thy conviction Doth not thy soule say Oh! what a vile wretch have I been who have despised the riches of Gods goodnesse and who have not been led thereby unto repentance Standest thou convinced of the greatnesse of sins by the consideration of the greatnesse of his love Because God hath been is and thou hopest will be exceeding good Art not upon this convinced that thou art and hast been exceeding bad Surely so much as love and sweetnesse hath had an influence upon thy conviction so much the spirit hath been in it The hand of wrath may convince a Pharoah that he hath sinned but an eye of love will make a Peter weep bitterly Therfore Thirdly In thy convictions for sin what sight hast thou had of Christ The spirit where he convinceth of sin he also convinceth of righteousnesse as t is John 16.10 i.e. the spirit convinceth the soule that albeit it is unrighteous yet there is a righteousnesse in Christ which it may have The spirit where he is a messenger of sin comming in and convincing the soule thereof he is also an Interpreter taking the things of Christ and so shewing thereof unto the soule the spirit is that one of a thousand to shew unto man his uprightnesse as t is Job 33.23 An hypocrite may be convinced by the Law but alas in that conviction he sees only a Moses But a Saint is convinced not only by the Law but the Gospell and therefore in his conviction he sees a Messiah Canst not thou say O soul when thou wert convinced that thou wert a sinner thou wert also convinced that there was a Saviour Didst not thou see a remedy as well as a disease a healing plaister as well as a killing wound A Saviour as well beseeching sinners to come unto him that they might have life as blaming of them for not beleeving in him that they might be free from death Surely soule its the spirit who giveth life the letter killeth Where the letter convinceth only it doth leave a soule under the sentence of death But if together with the sentence of death for sin thou didst also see the hopes of life in a righteousnesse then there was something more and higher then the letter in thy conviction even the Holy Ghost If then when thou wert convinced thou didst see unbeleife as the great sin and divine love as the great aggravation of that unbeleife and yet withall a sight of free and full righteousnesse tendred as a cure of both If I say thou didst see these things in thy conviction why art thou cast down O soule and why dost thou fear the spirit was not in thy conviction To go on then to the last branch of this fear and doubt Thou sayst O soul that dost fear thy comfort was not from the spirit At lest thou sayst thou dost doubt it It s true after thy storme thou didst heare a still voyce but sayst thou was the spirit in that voyce Sometimes even after conviction thou dost say thou didst feel comfort but thou fearest whether it were from the spirit or from the letter and fancy c. Why now in order to the scattering of this fear let me intreate you to consider these three things First Whence it was that thy comfort was fetched which was brought to thee was it not such as one of a thousand could not bring came it not from Jesus Christ who can only give man his righteousnesse as it is Job 33 23. He shall take of mine and shall shew it unto you saith Christ of the spirit Job 16.15 Where the spirit brings in comfort it is still shewed to be fetched from Christ Alas canst not thou say It was not from any creature men or Angell that the hope of your comfort came Alas miserable Comforters were they all But it was onely from Christ where the spirit comforts he doth it still in a discovery of Christ As he shewes Christ pierced by the soule and useth that sight unto conviction so he discovers Christ willing to imbrace the soul and useth this sight unto consolation The peace and comfort of some is rather from a cessation of the trouble of conscience then from a sight and discovery of Christ Now if thy comfort came only from an apprehension of Christ and from a sight of the things in him why art thou disquieted as if thy comfort were not from the spirit Since as no man knoweth the things of a man save the spirit of man which is in him 1 Cor. 2.11 Even so the
him Our prayers have been rather the fruit of our heads and babbling of our lips then the breath of our hearts and panting of our spirits And yet say some soules Suppose our spirits were in prayer We feare Gods spirit was not The father seeketh such to worship him as do it in the spirit and the Apostle calls for praying in the Holy Ghost Now though our own spirit was in our prayers we feare Christs spirit was not It may be wee have prayed in the gifts of the spirit But what are they without the spirit himselfe Againe say the same dejected soules although wee should thinke and hope that we have prayed both in the sincerity of our own spirit and in the strength of Christs spirit yet we feare whether ever God hath regarded Surely he hath been alway angry with for as yet he never answered any of our prayers And to call and not bee heard to pray and not be answered Pro. 1.28 is a threatned judgement This oh this is our feare that we are those at whose calamitie God will laugh as it is Pro. 1.26 Secondly There are others who in their dejection vent other feares As now about the word whether ever it came to them as the word of God and as good seed upon good ground Alas cryeth one poore dejected soule I have heard the word often preached but I fear to no purpose for I thinke I never heard God in it It was the praise of the Thessalonians that they heard the word not as the word of men but as the word of God But it s my shame and sorrow I have rather heard men then God I read saith the soule the Parable of the Sower and I remember there was but one good ground which received the seed aright and I fear I am none of that I doubt I am the high-way-ground or the stony or the thorny but sure I am not the good ground i. e. one who with an honest and good heart having heard the word doth keep it for sure I bring not forth the fruit with patience Thus the fears of some dejected soules work about the word But Thirdly Other dejected souls breathe forth feares about the Promises As whether they have right to them or did ever in the spirit close with them Oh say some soules the Promises are indeede exceeding great and precious But are they ours wee doubt it my soule doubts saith one when I reade the Promises I doe rather read the riches of others then my owne Alas I feare they are none of mine and I dare not indeed cannot close with them Sometimes I have climbed the outside of the Promise I have read the letter but alas I never was in the inside in the spirit of a Promise It s likely many hung upon Noahs Arke without But none were saved but those within And I feare I was never within the Arke of any Promise Fourthly Some soules when cast downe feare their very abstinence from sinne As now whether they did or doe abstaine from sinne in a slavish way for feare or in a Sonne-like way for love I feare saith the soule I have and I do abstaine from sin rather from rationall then from pious principles I doubt I dread the coale of corruption rather for the fire of it which will burne mee then the filib of it which will blacke mee I doubt its the cudgell of wrath that drives me backe rather then the coard of love which keepes mee in from sinne Good soules abstaine from sin from heavenly principles as love of God desire of holinesse and I feare my principles are hellish as feare of damnation and or at best but earthly as shame of men and the like Fiftly Some soules when cast down cry out Oh the sinne against the Holy Ghost I feare saith a dejected soul I have sinned unto death I have sinned against such strong light and such sweet love that I feare my sinne is now the unpardonable sinne which shall not cannot bee forgiven I may well bee cast downe if that bee my case which was Judas his and I feare it is Christ saith all sinne and blasphemy shall bee forgiven but that which is against the Holy Ghost Alas here is my fear that I am guilty of that sin Sixtly The feares of some when cast downe doe not worke thus high yet they vent themselves thus Oh we feare we shall fall away Angells fell Adam fell others fall and are we surer then they Surely we are not so strong and therefore not so sure Many have gone beyond me in the spirit and yet saith the soule have ended in the flesh and I feare I shall doe so too I goe but softly I fall often I looke backe many times and I doubt I shall never persevere unto the death what is it to begin well and end ill what is it to have Ephraims righteousnesse A morning dew Alas mine is no better if so good This is my case and I may well be cast downe for I fear I shall fall The promise of the Crown is to perseverance Hee that is faithfull to the death shall have the crowne of life But I feare I doubt I shall not hold out neare unto death for my heart misgives me and I feare I shall fall away ere long and loose all at last CHAP. 8. The other branch of the workings of spirituall dejections which is greife and sorrow HAving now gone over sundry doubts and feares which are the workings of spirituall dejections I shall touch in a word only upon the other branch viz. That of greife and sorrow For As the soule when it s cast downe is full of feare so likewise its full of griefe Disquieted David vents himselfe not onely in feares but in sorrowes His teares were his meat day and night as it is vers .. 3. He went in mourning ver 9. Sighs complaints expostulations those also are the workings of spirituall dejection Ah Lord what palenesse of face what wringing of the hands what watering of the cheeks doth dejection produce what beating of the breast with the Publican what weeping and crying with Rachell what questioning and crying with Mary doth casting down cause There are two appearances of these kind of workings 1 Within The soule tosseth it selfe up and downe the heart rowles and beates as if it would breake its passage through the body How doth the soule talke with its selfe and aggravate its griefe How is the heart smitten and withered as grasse as t is Psal 102.4 The bowells boile and rest not as t is Job 30.26 2 Without The lips quiver as t is Hab. 3.16 The eyes run down all the night as Lam. 1. the voice that speakes faintly And is there any sorrow as mine was ever soule as I am Did you ever meet with any in my case Thus griefe vents it selfe and thus doth the disquieted soule as it thinkes ease it selfe But I neede not go about to paint these sorrowes some soules are able
takes us off from sinne rather by the bitternesse of it then the sweetnesse of himselfe Suppose O soule as yet thy abstinence from sinne proceeds from feare rather then love yet know its Gods way thus to traine up his children How many have first abstained from sinne out of feare of Hell who yet afterward have been helped to abstaine from it out of love to Christ some who at first could not be kept from sinne if they had not been told of Hell death and damnation have yet in time sincerely profest they would abstaine and avoyd sinne if there were none of those things at all so it hath been with others so it shall be with you Let thy principles be as low as thou fearest oh soule and yet thy feare argues them higher then thou thinkest yet I say suppose them low now they may be high ere long God by degrees will heighten both thy practise and thy principles But Thirdly Jesus Christ knowes how to passe by low principles as well as pardon lewd practises He that can and doth forgive acts of sinne when very high can and will forgive abstinence from sinne when the principles are low Indeed Christ highly embraces soules who are yet principled but low Nathaniels first principle of faith in Christ was it seemes but low Iesus hints it was but this because he had told him that he saw him under the figg-tree as 't is Joh. 1.50 Suppose thy abstinence from sin be as low principled as his faith in Christ yet Christ knowes how to love thee as him therefore Lastly Know you that happinesse depends not upon your acts or principles of abstaining from sinne but upon the bloud of Christ that takes away all sinne The Apostle knew that if he should have said 1 Joh. 1.7 2.1 himselfe and other beleevers had no sinne he should have spoke amisse but sure he was of this that the bloud of Christ would cleanse from all and that if any sinned they had an Advocate with the Father and these things he writ that they might not sinne wherefore then O soule who abstainest from sinne be not cast downe for feare thy principles of abstinence are too low but rejoyce in this that the bloud of Christ shall take away the guilt of all thy lewd practises and much more the guilt of low and meane principles But yet O soule know this gives no liberty to sinne O no sayest thou it doth not and God forbid that I should sinne because of this grace I desire for ever to avoyd sinne and oh that I could doe it from holy and high principles Quest I pray help me herein Answ For thy helpe O soule in this kinde there are three things which I offer to thy thoughts as meanes to heighten thy principles in abstaining from sinne First Eye Christ as dying for sinne its low to abstaine from sinne for feare least it should spill our bloud but its high to adstaine from sinne in faith that it hath shed Christs bloud Eye thy Saviour on the Crosse O soule and that wil secretly and spiritually beget these thoughts in thee Shall I sinne for whom Christ dyed Did sinne kill him and shall not I therefore leave it Did he lay downe his life for my sins and shall â—ot I abstaine from my lusts for his sake The thoughts of this that sinne cost thy Saviours Bloud will heighten thy principle in abstaining from it Secondly Looke upon your selves as dead to sinne in your Saviours death for sinne if thou art dead to it thou wilt abstaine from it and if thou abstaine from sinne upon this principle thy principle is high The Apostle Paul teacheth this principle Rom. 6.11 Reckon ye your selves to be dead indeed unto sinne this is a conclusion which Logically he would have Christians to draw from Christs death The word is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 i.e. logically and rationally to conclude 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 viz. That they are dead to sinne and if they thus conclude he hints the conclusion may be maintained for t is so indeed The soule is high in holinesse who avoyds sinne because t is dead to it Why O soule thou art indeed dead to sinne and if upon that reckoning or if from that reasoning thou abstaine from sinne thy abstinence is preciously principled Adde to this Lastly the remembrance of this viz. That sinne alone eclipseth love and this thought will beget hatred against sinne to purpose Hatred begotten or springing from love is great Why this thought O soule that sinne only cloudeth thy Saviours love will make thee out of love to his love hate sinne and so abstaine from it indeed And abstinence from sinne upon this account is high I know O soule you love discoveries of your Saviours love now then remember this Its sinne and sinne only that can hide love and if thou remembrest that thou wilt abstaine from sinne upon a principle of love to love and if thy principle be such thou wilt not have any cause to be cast downe or disquieted about it CHAP. 13. Satisfaction to cast downe soules troubled about the sinne against the Holy Ghost SAtan makes some soules dejected Case feare they have sinned unto death c. the sinne against the Holy Ghost and many soules cast downe Satisfaction are perplexed with this feare Now I shall seeke to remove this feare and to satisfie dejected soules in this case by the proposall of these particulars Definitio descriptio differunt apud logicos First It s very uncertaine what this sinne is I thinke none can exactly define it and few can well describe it now it s strange that thou shouldest feare more strange that any should conclude themselves guilty of such a sinne the knowledge of which is so uncertaine Secondly T is very certaine many soules especially dejected ones take that for this sin which is not It s true in a sence every sinne is a sinne against the Holy Ghost for he is God even as the Father and the Son but t is as true every sinne which is so accounted is not the sinne against the Holy Ghost of which the Scriptures speake as unpardonable Two sins I finde eminently urged by dejected soules against themselves as the sinne against the Holy Ghost that is to say 1 Sinning against cleare light and Conscience 2 Sinning against taste of love and experience But certainly t is possible for a Saint to commit sinne of both these kinds and yet not to sinne the sinne against the Holy Ghost I doe make no doubt but Davids sinne in the bed-businesse of Bathsheba had both these ingredients It cannot be doubted but his light was cleare that Adultery was a sinne and not to bee committed the expresse letter of the Commandements which David was well studied and skill'd in forbids it and for sinning after sweet experiences who doubts it David had sweet experiences of God when he was delivered from the Philistines Psal 56. and from
things of Christ knoweth no man but the spirit of Christ But Secondly How is thy comfort brought in Is it from Christ in a free word of grace offering himselfe to sinners or is it as I may say from a Christ fetcht in by some performances of thine Certainly the lesse of self in the manner of Christs comming into the soule the more of the spirit in the comfort that ariseth thereupon Some soules have their comfort fetcht in rather by selfe in Christ i.e. what they see of themselves in the way of Christs comming in then by Christ in himselfe My meaning is some soules cannot be comforted in Christ unlesse they see Christ as it were fetched and comming in by their Humiliations Repentings Prayers c. Oh if they can upon them or in them see a Christ comming in they can be comforted This comfort I suspect is legall But now if thou canst say thy comfort as it came from Christ so it came and comes still from Christ held forth purely in a word of grace and that when thou couldest see nothing of seife to fetch in Christ that then in a promise of free grace as that he dyed for and justifies the ungodly when I say then thou wert inabled to receive comfort from Christ so brought it without any selfe-qualifications or performances Surely thy comfort is in and by the spirit for still the lesse of selfe the more of him Thirdly Whereunto doth thy comfort tend Confider this Tends it to a magnifying of Christ to a love and labour unto holinesse or tends it to selfe glorying and a kind of wantonnesse Pray mind it If thy comfort have any tendance to magnifie selfe as if it were something or to lessen sin as if it were nothing thou hast cause to suspect thy comfort is not of the spirit For the very hopes of comfort by him tends unto purifying Be that hath this hope purifies himselfe c. But now if upon any laste or hope of comfort from Christ thy soule begin to admire him in his infinite love for loving thee And to abhor sin for provoking him If thy soule is much in adoring him and not a little in abhorring of solfe If sence of comfort do make thee melt as it were into a Christ-loving and Sin-loathing frame and make thee study what maner of conversation thou shouldest have for that comfort which thou hast had Surely if this be the fruit of thy comfort thou needest not fear but that thy comfort is a fruit of the spirit Thus I have offered something in particular in order to the raising of such soules as are cast down and feare that their call conviction and comfort is not was not of or by the Spirit To this I will adde some things by way of consideration joyntly i th reference to the whole As now First Whatsoever thy call conviction and comfort be its precious and to be prized Suppose it be only in the letter as thou sayst yet in case it be at all t is precious How many thousands are there that no way had either call conviction or comfort But live and lye in sin without any calls or conviction and never questioning truth or ground of comfort go in mirth as Jobs phrase is in a moment downe to Hell Chap. 21.13 Secondly Though your call conviction and comfort be as yet but common it may be ere long speciall That which is first is not alwayes spirituall but that which is naturall and afterward that which is spirituall as it is 1 Cor. 15.46 Christ many times doth ingraft as some Divines say grace upon nature Often times Christ speciallizeth as I may say and spirituallizeth common workings such as at first have only been wrought upon in the letter have afterwards beene wrought on by the spirit Besides this Thirdly Consider if at present thy soule be brought up to close with Christ that now thou hangest as it were about his feet mourning onely for the want of his smiles waiting only for the discoveries of his loves If now thy soule can say I see a need of Christ I am convinced of the want of a Christ I onely pant after and look for the injoyment of a Christ all the comfort that I have all the support of my spirit lyes upon this that I hope he that shal come wil come and will not tarry and that the Lord whom thou lookest for will suddenly come If I say this be the present frame of thy spirit and speake soule is it not so why then art thou disquieted why art thou cast down why dost thou disturbe thy selfe with this fear that thy call conviction and comfort is not of the spirit Certainly when and where Christ is so discovered to be all in all and so pressed after the soul need not cast down it selfe with feare CHAP. 4. Satisfaction unto such as fear that all that which is in them is rather from education then regeneration THis was the fourth fear which I touched upon Case and the satisfaction hereof is to be indeavoured next now for such souls as are dejected and do discover themselves in this fear that which I shall speak unto them shall be in three steps As 1 Generally Satisfaction I desire such dejected soules as cry out Oh all that which is in them is but civillity and education and the like I say I desire such to consider three things as First What it is which in truth doth act them and carry them on in the things of Christ Is it only their head or is it not principally their heart Education doth seldome ingage conscience It may and doth bring into a custome and this it doth meerly upon head-principall i.e. a knowledge that such or such a duty is to be done and that Parents or Tutors have done it c. But now to be brought into the wayes of godlinesse upon heart principles as I may call them i.e. to do such or such a duty upon conscience as finding an ingagement there to them this goes farther then education Consider then dost not thou find a heart-ingagement to the things of Christ so that thou hast some love to and in what thou dost and a hatred to and griefe in the contrary Surely if it be so here is something more and higher then education Then Secondly Consider what if thy naturall relations were dead or which is worse opposite to the things of Christ Suppose this and search what wouldest thou be or doe then 2 Chro. 24. Joash his goodnesse of education it dyed with his Tutour Jehoiadah It s said Joash did that which was right in the sight of the Lord all the dayes of Jehoiadah the Priest But after the death of Jehoiadah we finde that Joash doth not onely leave off that which was right in the sight of the Lord but he served Groves and Idolls yea and he slew Iehoiada's sonne for testifying against him Now then suppose thy Parents and Tutor's dead nay
child is not so safe in holding about the mothers necke as it is in being in the mothers armes Jesus Christ O ye cast down soules holds you in his armes and this is your safety Suppose thou cannot see thy closing with him yet he knowes his own closing with you And his arme is stronger and surer to hold us to him then ours are to hold him to us Yea Fiftly I propose this also unto thee O soule who art dejected and questionest thy closing with Christ Jesus Christ must and doth close with us ere wee can or do close with him The shepherd must and doth goe after the sheep and not the sheep after him Christ is our shepherd and he leaves the Ninty and nine sheepe to seeke thee one and having found he layes it upon his shoulders Did you ever hear of a lost sheep that sought the shepherd and laid hold on the shepherd you have not chosen me but I have chosen you saith Christ Joh. 15.16 And the Apostle tels us that he loved us first Christ O soule is first in the action of closing And he may be stretching forth his hand to close with thee though thou be not stretching forth to close with him Therefore Sixtly and lastly Suppose O soule dejected and cast downe I say suppose it be as thou fearest that as yet thou hast not closed with Christ What hinders but that thou mayest close with him now To day if you will heare his voyce harden not your heart He begs now do thou close now Rouze up thy soule and close with Christ even while thou readest he stands with open armes ready to imbrace thee yea and with open mouth as I may say calling after thee Quest What is it then that hinders Answ This hinders will you say I fear unworthinesse and I find unablenesse I am neither filling nor able Reply Why know O soule unworthinesse should not keep thee off sith he calls thee Because the man was blind when Christ called should be not go This is that that makes Christs grace so worthy that it closeth with such as are unworthy And as to thy inability know he 'le helpe thee The mother will stoop to take up the child in her armes that cannot clime up to her necke Christ O soule will help thee to close with himselfe Do but look up to him and t is don David sayes he 'le make his prayer and looke up Do thou O soul Christ bids thee and let that incourage thee Look unto me and be saved Esa 45.22 What canst thou do lesse and behold he requires no more Wherefore then art thou cast down and why art thou disquieted O soul Suppose that as yet however considering that which hath been hinted thou mayest have no cause to suppose it but I say suppose it that as yet thou hast not closed with Christ the doore of grace is yet open and t is free for thee to do it now Bee not therefore dejected nor cast downe for as yet thou mayest close with and rejoyce in Jesus Christ as thine CHAP. 8. I mentioned in the former Section an Eighth feare which discovers it selfe in some dejected soules and that was A fear of denying Christ Some poor cast downe soules are much disquieted with this fear Oh say they Case should we be brought up to the tryall we should deny Christ It s true say they peradventure wee may never actually be brought unto it yet its good to try our hearts whether the love of Christ in us bee as strong as death And alas upon the tryal we see ground to suspect it Surely we find we love our life more then Christ and we feare we should sooner deny him then dye for him Thus do many disquiet themselves Now for the quieting of souls in this fear I shal offer these particulars very briefly First Consider Satisfaction O ye dejected and fearfull soules This fear of yours may be a companion of valour Even such as have been fearfull in the Town have been valiant in the Field As there are some who boast much and do little so there have been some that have feared much and yet done mightily Our Book of Martyrs tells us of two One of which boasted how gallantly he would burn and yet he cowardly recanted the other feared he should deny Christ and yet he gloriously held out and suffered death You may fear and yet when it comes to it may be able to dye for Christ But Secondly We are not able to tell what strength Christ will give in at the very nicke of time Christ makes good promises in their season As wisdom to dispute for so courage to dye for Christ hath its houre in which it shall be given Christ forbids his disciples fearfull trouble and care beforehand for so the word signifies Luk. 21.14 And he tells them Mal. 10.19 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 it shall be given in that hour Doe not cast down thy selfe O poore soule but beleeve there is strength in Christ though there be weaknes in thee and thou mayst experience that in the hou◠of tryall which thou doubtest now If Christ call thee to dye he 'le keep thee from denyall Why should the Souldier have his armes bef-re the time of War Your armes i.e. your strength and courage to die for Christ is reserved for that houre to be given forth then why shouldest thou perplex thy selfe for want of it now But Thirdly Suppose thou shouldest flinch and faint in a day of tryall Suppose thou shouldest indeed fall so sadly for t is a sad fall as to deny Christ Yet know First This might consist with grace I know none that will deny Peters grace because of his denyall of Christ Yea Secondly This may consist with love to Christ There is a true love which at first is not so strong as death Peter did not fall in the truth but in the strength of his love Besides Thirdly Christ will not let thee fall for ever He will restore thee againe He can and will bring thee on with courage in a second tryall who didst fall away by cowardize in a first Peter did afterward out-face a Magistrate that at first was affraid of a Maid To this adde Lastly Christ may own you though you deny him It s certaine a denyall of Christ with feare and unwillingnesse and this is thy case O soul doth not expose us to a being denyed by Christ It s true direct voluntary desperate denying of Christ is dangerous So if we deny him he 'le deny us But a denyall through jear with reluctancy A denyall feared before it be bewailed after it is which is and would be thy case O soule this I say doth not shall not make Christ deny any Why then art thou cast downe O soule and why art thou troubled with a feare of denying Christ Hee knowes how to strengthen thee that thou shalt not and to pitty thee if thou doe yea and to owne thee though for
Soul in the cave Psal 57. yea and he composed a special choyce Psalme upon each occasion therefore he stiles them Michtams i. e. golden Psalmes and yet it was after all this that he fell in that foule businesse I might instance in Peters Case which seemed and in a sence did exceed Davids and in the case of others and yet none ever charged them with the sinne against the Holy Ghost so that t is cleare many are mistaken in this sinne and why mayest not thou be mistaken oh soule who fearest it Thirdly There are some soules who are not at present capable of that sinne my meaning is that cannot possibly at present be charged with it as now such as are not very highly enlightened such as have not had any great or high income of joy and sweetnesse such as have not been eminent and long professors All Divines conclude that a person sinning the sinne against the Holy Ghost must be supposed to be 1. One much enlightened 2. One who hath tasted of the heavenly gift and the joyes of the Holy Ghost yea and 3. One who hath been some famous and forward Professor Now alas poore soule thou cryest out thou art but a babe a novice one who knowes little and hast tasted lesse one who hath small light and weake life and no joy or comfort at all one whose highest degree of knowledge is but as yet a beame whose greatest income of joy is but a drop who art a stranger to tasting of the heavenly powers and the world to come and who yet art no forwarder then humbly to professe to desire to feare Jehovah and to love Jesus Thou dost often sigh these sayings and seale to them as true and this may secure thee from being guilty of the sinne against the Holy Ghost sith at present thou art incapable of that sinne But Forthly The soule guilty of this sinne cannot be troubled for it at least so as to desire to repent of it and to have Christ to pardon it Thy feare thy trouble thy disquiets O soule argue thou art free from this sinne for wert thou guilty of it thy heart it would be hardred and could not desire to repent thy Conscience it would be seared and no way disquieted for it yea and thy desires would be dead so as that thou wouldest not pant after Christ nor the Spirit thy very feares and disquiets should answer in this case themselves they could not would not be in thee if this sinne were committed by thee a senslesse and troublelesse soule ever goes along with this sinne and therefore know this Fifthly None can be guilty of the sin against the Holy Ghost but such as First totally fall away from both Practise and Profession of all godlinesse and Religion as t is Heb. 6.6 Secondly Directly doe despite unto the spirit of grace as t is Heb. 10.29 and Thirdly Such as doe directly and plainly and professedly oppose and speake evill of the wayes of Christ which sometimes they professed Now tell me O soule and beware of false witnesse against thy selfe Quest First Art thou totally falne away from both the practise and profession of godlinesse Dost hold no points of Faith Dost doe no acts of Religion Dost make no profession of Jesus Christ Answ Surely I heare the say I desire to beleeve and the Lord help my unbeleefe I desire to walke exactly to have a good Conscience to God and man and this profession I make that if I know my heart I desire to worship the God of my Fathers according to that order of the Gospell which many count and call Heresie well then O soule thou art not totally falne away which yet thou wouldest be if thou wert guilty of the sinne feared But Quest Secondly Say soule and doe not eclipse the truth of Gods grace in thee Darest thou doe despight to the Holy Ghost Ans Surely I heare thee answering I tremble at the thought thereof I would not for ten thousand worlds speake the least evill of that good Spirit I am so farre from despiting him that I doe earnestly desire him and waite for him Alas this O soule would not could not be wert thou guilty of this sinne Then Thirdly answer O soule Dost thou oppose godlinesse Quest What dost or darest thou persecute such as desire to walke with Christ c Answ Is not this thy reply to this That thou rather pittyest thy selfe for not being so forward as others then persecutest them for being before thee Yea thou art so farre from opposing those that are godly that thou wouldest if Christ would help thee suffer any persecutions rather then leave off thy endeavour to be godly Now certainly O poore dejected soule thou art not guilty of the sinne thou fearest for if thou wert thou wouldest fall away wholly and speake evill of the Spirit directly and oppose godlinesse professedly sith these things doe ever accompany that sinne against the Holy Ghost But Lastly there have been precious soules who sometime feared their sinning against the Holy Ghost and yet have afterward enjoyed the sealing of the Holy Ghost See the Bookes of them Mistris Drake Mistris Wight and others of late have brought forth this experience fully to light that soules who have sometimes questioned their sinning unto death have yet found the Spirit sealing them up to life and Mistris Drake breathed out a little before her death this comfortable counsel Never let any despaire how desperately miserable soever their case be Wherefore then rouze up thy selfe O dejected soule thou who now fearest the sinne against the Spirit mayest ere long boast of the seale of the Spirit Trust thou in Christ for thou shalt yet praise him for joy and assurance given in by that Holy Ghost against whom at present thou fearest that thou hast sinned CHAP. 14. There remaines yet one Case more which being spoke unto puts an end to this Section NOw this Case is the feare of falling away after all Case Many a poor soul which is satisfied it may be for the present in its state yet questions it for the future Oh! say some soules we feare we shall never hold out many have gone farte and yet have perished at last for want of perseverance indeed this is usually the last trouble of dejected soules and in this as in a last refuge they shelter their feares Suppose say they our case be now as good as the Angels at first as good as Adams in Paradice yet Adam fel and Angels fel and we fear the like Now unto these soules I would offer these particulars Satisfaction in order to raise them from under this dejection First Blessed is the soule that feareth alway The soule standeth surest while it trembleth the Apostle adviseth him that standeth to take heed least he fall And the way to stand is not to be high minded but to feare as it is Rom. 11.20 Many had never fell had they ever feared Peters presumption was his fayling