as if he had forgotten were far off did not hear were reserved exceeding ready to take exceptions and such like whereas we may go to a poor lump of Clay where a spark of his Nature dwells and have sometimes a taste of that Affection that is scarce capable of reflecting back any such prejudices or the least shadow of them And the reason is because there is a rooted persuasion of some predominant Principle of Christian spiritual and reciprocal Love O then how seriously should we pray that our hearts might be directed into the Love of Christ and that it may be shed abroad in our hearts A Christ who loves once ever always and to the full he loveth he loved and came he loved and died he loved and proclaimed the everlasting Gospel he loves and pardons he loves and teaches he loves and reproves he loves and holds fast for ever he loves and saves When a Soul is sunk as deep as Hell in sin and filth in love he redeems that Soul as out of a Jaques and is not ashamed nor thinks it much to cleanse it again because Love constrains him All his ways not one excepted are Mercy and Truth to them that fear him He has a noble and surmounting Love not capable of Melancholy Misprision or Mistake He knew all the defects of his Spouse before he betrothed himself to her in loving Kindness and tender Mercies And he so far abhors the declining of his Love that the very beholding of any defect there inflames his heart to remove it that he may present her to himself without spot When we have any Agony against our sins doth this come from the Flesh Is it not purely the Lord's Arm What shall I say The Lord reveal himself that we may purely rejoyce in God our Maker and cling upon him in the vertue and power of his own unsearchable and endless Grace and Love I long for other Society than I can have here few Friends here and little help especially as to that Interest in which you and I are most concerned but there is a River that never dries up and a Counsellor that never fails I am yet in health and as to outward freedom as it was when I came hither first but not without some daily Exercises but my chief Adversary lurks within which God will one day destroy and all Warfare will be over Let us pray to him for each other for it is not in vain 1662. To B. D. N o 64. AS for all things that relate to this and the next Life the Lord help you and I and all his People fully to commit our selves into the hands of GOd in the name and interest of Christ who is Lord of Quick and Dead He who hath said In nothing be careful Cast your burthen on the Lord and that All things shall turn for good to them that love him and he that hath said I will never leave you nor forsake you certainly he cannot forget his own Word Oh that we had Faith to believe it Let the great business of Faith be our work every day and night I leave you to him who is able to teach help and save c. 1662. To T. N. N o 65. DEar Sir However it goes with you I trust you have no reason to count your self alone whilst so good a Friend hath said I will be with you in the fire and water When we are at any plunge then is a time to act Scripture-Reason and not worldly Reason and draw such Conclusions in reference to Soul and Body as the Wisdom and Truth of God doth teach The Lord make his Furnace to be purifying at this day Some in one kind some in another have their various Trials but the Father of Mercies doth govern the matter so that at the Close it shall be well with the Righteous Let us labour with might and main to keep up good thoughts of God and the glory of our Interest in him Though the Heaven and Earth do shake the sense of his Covenant cannot change his Son cannot be dethroned nor the Promises of his Grace and Presence turn into the Blood of a dead Man Clouds may darken the Sun as to us but they can never diminish the natural light of the Sun nor stop its Course The Sun is as nigh the Earth when Clouds do interpose as it was before and our dear Lord is now as near his afflicted ones as when the Branch of earthly things was never so green in their hands Faith Repentance Love to the Lord Jesus are glorious Ornaments for a Pilgrim travelling towards that City that hath Foundations Sir I know not how it fares with you but I doubt not but it goes well For can any dealings of an infinite wise God a faithful and gracious Father be amiss seeing he has promised and will not fail to give Grace and Glory and will with-hold no good thing from them that fear him Let us not deny his Truth by Unbelief nor his Love by a lowring Dispondency of heart however the Waves rise and swell he is above them and the great Redemption is near 1662. To B. D. N o 66. YOur welfare is amongst the chiefest of my desires in this World and if the Afflictive Providence of God doth still remain be not dismayed yea if it increaseth let not a disponding heart put the Lie upon any Promise God hath made he is not a cruel Father his Bowels are tender but our misgiving hearts are they that are apt to plunge us Had we more dexterity in believing we might steer a comfortable Course when all sight of dry Land is out of sight And such a Faith is God's Gift who has promised us every good thing Let us both go to the Creator of the ends of the Earth for Faith and by Faith wait for more Faith that we may ride out the Storm and not be ashamed or wearied out under the Cross How 't is with you I know not but I have much confidence you are in as safe hands and in the bosom of as tender love as ever did shine upon you in the days of more earthly fulness and that the gracious Goodness of God and his unsensible Wisdom has ordered this present state of Affairs to exercise you withal One half hours time beyond Mortality will make amends for all and we are hastening to it and I trust at present freely entitled to the unalterable love of God who will never leave nor forsake to pity and succour the Off-spring of his own Grace If the Lord favour me with his Counsel and give me the Shield of his Presence I shall not be at a loss I dare not give way to hard thoughts of him but rather to covet after a greater freedom of Resignation to his sweet pleasure 1662. To B. D. N o 67. I Am affected with your trouble and yet comforted in your faith and comfort But who makes Rivers run in the Desart knows how to refresh the dry
terrible to me nor to any of the Race thou hast redeemed from Death Let the Agonies of Death be pleasing to me in Christ Oh the Dolour the unspeakable Anger of God we have not drank of it O the intollerable Wrath of God born by that Man meaning Jesus Christ O the woful Travel of Christ we have took up but a little of it and that hath made Repentance slight and holy Care trivial And now O Lord thou reckonest with me for undervaluing of that bloody Agony Lord forgive me my Guilt in this thing I have not been a Christian in earnest as I ought Oh he that made himself the bottom of all sorrow he suffered infinitely Oh such a Redeemer Oh such a Redeemer alas how unsuitable have I been to him Lord pardon my unsuitableness I have been as a Beast before thee I have not come up to answer the Call of that unutterable Grace And now O Lord I cannot stand in the Battel I cannot now the Arrows of Death stick in my Flesh and I cannot bear it without great Concussions of Soul within me But O! O! O thou who art the God of all Grace who art got upon the Kingdom of Grace and art the Head of that Kingdom wilt thou now shew thy Glory Make Death sweet make the Tendencies to Death sweet make every step to Deliverance a pleasing step O my God Save thy Worm save thy Worm O my God according to thy Promises made to Jacob I hearken what the Lord will say he will speak Peace in the Blood of Jesus Sustain me O Lord sustain me Thou art my Friend as thou spakest to Abraham thou art my Friend Dost thou love me Dost thou at this time love me with thy whole heart and with thy whole Soul Dost thou love me more than my nearest and dearest Friends Than those intimate Relations here that continue with me in my Tribulation With a more inward intense Love with an Infiniteness beyond all these Lord let me know that thou lovest me in very Deed let me know that thou knowest me by Name let me know that thou hast an eye upon me more than Doctors and Friends let me know that every Act of thine towards me is the effect of thy Love Love me Oh now with thy whole heart Oh make me to believe it Help me to apprehend that thou dost take notice of me and art with me every Moment with me as to my present Case and Concernment 'T is dead Friendship when Friends cannot hear nor see one another but sure there is another Friendship between thee and thine and thou standest in Relations to them Art not thou my Father Hath not the Church said so Lord thou art our Father Thou art my Husband my Brother my Friend and art not ashamed to be called my Brother Oh wonderful Thou begattest me I am born of thee Lord what shall I do with the great things of the Gospel if thou dost not give forth the Spirit of Faith O Lord wilt thou who art Truth who art Life who art certain wilt thou take the great work of my practical Religion upon thee Thou canst make it to be in Power and Truth unto me as may answer the very design thou aimest at I have been praying through the days of thy drawing me after thee O Lord I would come to that kind of praying while I am here in the World as might be a lovely Copy of that praying of that Converse that will be with thee in Heaven Will Prayer altogether cease in Heaven No surely Lord glorifie thy self glorifie thy self glorified be God Oh Oh that the very Life and Soul of that state then may now be begun Oh that I might hasten to that state Thou detainest me here in thy Wisdom I would go unto thee and into that Life which will most glorifie thee eternally I would go where Life is and no Death I would go where the fullest expressions of the power of Grace overcoming Sinners may be patent and manifest in me even in me who am a poor Mortal There be many things that I have found here that are Likenesses to pure Likeness to thee and here I have lost wofully my way Lord open it The heart is deceitful above all things and it will have its working one way or other but Lord I would go where there is Purity I would go where there is Purity without Impurity I would be with thee Lord for then I can speak to thee in thine own Language better At about Two of the Clock that day in the Afternoon he further extended his Speech as followeth The old World will be the old World still it will remain to Eternity it will be only translated from hence where it received its Curse to Hell to be in Chains of Darkness for ever but all the redeemed number shall be instated in their Palaces of Glory I am in the very Period of Wonders I am in the very Period of viewing Death and Life I am under some Sufferings and they shall be sweet And speaking to himself said Thou shalt lie down in thy Bed And then speaking to God Thou wilt not throw me into the Grave in Anger thou wilt put me into the Grave Thou wilt not say Sleep there in Death thou wilt say Sleep there a little till the Indignation be over-past till that is inflicted on thee for Sin which was pronounced and that that passed away from Christ shall pass from me Lord thou wilt not be unfaithful to thy Word God cannot lie God cannot forget to be gracious he cannot forget his own Work This is that God I desire to believe in and resolve eternally to cling upon with the Truth of my whole heart I have sinned and thou hast pardoned me and saved me with a high hand Help me in this hour take away my fears The last stroak that will be given will be by the Devil himself because it is his last Battel and thou wilt permit him but thou wilt bind him and when thou hast unclinch'd his hands he shall never clinch again He is that last Enemy from Conversion to Salvation Lord wilt thou who hast been destroying this Enmity all along now cause his Enmity to appear to be destroyed and turned into Powder and Rottenness O Have at it have at it I pray thee The strength the might the power of the Life of Sin and Darkness Lord thou didst promise to plague Antichrist for all the Plagues that he hath plagued thine O Lord do thou pour out thy Plagues upon him whilst thou dost sustain him to be fighting his last Battel Let him fight his Battel but let him O God drink of the Rivers of thy Wrath along with it Let the Weak overcome the Strong let thy People be Lyons but let the Devil be an enfeebled Enemy Serve thy self of all thy Instruments whatever they are Lord let them do thee the utmost Service of their Capacity Thy proper Instruments Oh make them glorious make them
many times our Warmth is gone our Locks cut our Strength and Comfort departed together and then the poor Soul looks upon his Corruption and all the Engines of his Back-sliding as Amnon did on his deflowred Sister Have her out of my sight Then the Soul lies as weak as any other in an equal Line to the Men of this World but God only who raiseth the Dead for his free Grace and eternal Covenant of Love recovers this loss again restores health to the heart and makes the Soul say I was dead but am alive That a Vein of Life and Beam of Light should run through so many Eclipses and yet live and not utterly be destroyed this is the work of the Lord and it is marvellous in our eyes As there is no Calling in the World that is useful for common Good but hath its Foundation in the Wisdom Pity and Care of God towards his poor Creatures so I believe the same of yours and my desire to God for you is that you may use your Calling only as under his eye and in the wisdom and fear of the Lord c. 1649. To C. A. D. N o 7. YOur friendly and Christian Lines I received and do with you rejoyce in the happiness of your nearest Relation The happiness is the greater in that your Principles do accord as well as your Affections which renders your Condition a more lively Type of the Conjugal Interest betwixt Christ and a Believer You say your experience tells you it is good to wait on God do not forget the same experience in other cases Abound in spiritual Affections to one another as much as you can and in ingenuous Marriage-Love and Affections also but beware of that which is inordinate remembring that they that marry are to be as if they married not 1 Cor. 7. 29 c. It may be you may find new Temptations in your new Condition and God teaching you thereby If so there is still cause of Thankfulness for God has many ways in variety of Trials to teach to purge and comfort I perceive there is that within you which takes little content in high Speculations without Power I think it is no small happiness to be preserved from the vain unsavoury Profession of the times consisting more in Phrase of Words Humane Wit and Pride than Power of Religion Doubtless the ancient Path of Sincerity Humility Patience Love and Fruits of Thankfulness is the best Path for Saints to travel in waiting on God for more enlarged hearts and enlightned eyes both to know and do his Will with the more integrity Ah! the Purity and Spiritualness of the Apostles Writings and the Sermons of Christ There is no cavelling jeering but Bowels of Tenderness and awful sweet Reverence in the things of God Let your thoughts still fix there associate with the most Tender and Sincere and you shall escape the destructive Influence of that seeming religious loosness and Atheism which has I doubt cankered many a hopeful Professor As for my own part I tumble to and fro under Temptations yet reaping this fruit thereby to thirst the more after the day of Christ's Appearance and my Deliverance c. 1651. To B. D. N o 8. I Have as well by others as by your own hand understood how the change of Affairs have layen upon you The Lord I trust will bless the present Suffering to your inward Advantage The less worldly your Affections were in your Employmen the more I hope the loss is alleviated and your heart supported It is good to be industrious so that the Interest above be as the Oyl to the Wheel of all our Actions The Lord in the Interest of his free Love and Presence is able to weigh down the Scale against never so much appearing trouble and to that blessed Portion and Security I do heartily commend you 1652. To B. D. N o 9. GOd has been pleased to put us and continue us long asunder and we have had our variety of Troubles Dangers and Temptations and in regard we can come no nearer each other let us speak at a distance By the view I have made of earthly matters and earthly conditions I can say with my whole heart The best Refreshment is vexation of Spirit and if so then comes this rebuke How have I laid out my Money for that which is not Bread God has delivered me from being a burthen to my Friends and yet my Body and Soul Ah when will it once be is not given up as a Sacrifice to him only Brother I perceive so much of the unsearchable pity of the Lord to me that I know not what to do or say Oh that my heart might break into a thousand pieces and be made up again by the Spirit of Renewing What a misery is it to desire that might live which is nailed to the Cross and crucified Oh for the Newness of the Spirit to see the new Creature that old things might pass away from one end of the Soul unto the other I tremble at the mention of these words because the Power is of God and the dark design of the Lust within me labours to destroy my Interest ruine my Peace and make me unserviceable to my God to whom I am going Oh that I could in the power of my dear Saviour raise my head so high out of the misery that easily besets me as to peep forth into the fresh Air of a whole Resignment even of what I have am or do expect unto God through Christ nakedly and unreservedly You are on my heart before the Lord that you may be saved from your self and World from your fears comforts and hopes that the Kingdom of our dear Lord exalt it self exceedingly in your heart The Lord himself be your Guide to whom alone I can adventure to surrender you I am again returning from my Wives Grave into to seek mine own c. 1652. To D. H. N o 10. DEar Sister I account it my duty to hold up an Intercourse of writing to you as opportunity and time will permit as being sensible in some measure of the state of your inward Man My words have no quickning life the bodily presence of Christ himself could not do it without the Spirit much less the Pen of a sinful Worm but I will send you where this Ware is to be sold at a cheap rate if Complements of Self-preparedness for I can call it no other do not hinder Isa 55. 1. Buy Wine and Milk without Money say it over again without Money What is this the voice of your Beloved without price Is it indeed without price How hard is this one Lesson without price My Guilt can press me down but can it press him down who bears up Heaven and Earth Can my weakness hinder me from lying down There is nothing more acceptable to him as for me to lie down upon him you can never lean too hard upon your well Beloved Nothing troubles him but when you lean from
of this Opportunity provoketh me to write to you by this Bearer who has promised to see my Child I desire that as she grows in capacity you would be dropping in somewhat of spiritual things for her tender thoughts to feed upon Though I cannot at this distance see your face yet I know your Temptations in some part and your Deliverance which will in due time appear 'T is good to be carried about and disposed by the hand of the Lord 't is a blessed thing and will one day appear so to rejoyce in the pleasure of the Lord let him do with a poor Creature what he will so he make it more like himself by unselfing you from carnal desires and carnal discontents and fears and transplanting you into the power and joy of believing accounting really the offer of eternal kindness in Christ more Glory than any earthly dying comfort and certainly where the Comforts here can comfort but little the Crosses here can cross but little and shortly farewel both Let your heart plod much on the free Covenant of Grace in Christ by Prayer and Meditation and let your sins come into the same Room with you while you are on that Enquiry When I am at a dead lift then sometimes the Spirit of God takes me up as it were into the Arms of that Covenant which he made with Christ concerning me and whosoever is not a wilful Unbeliever And the very glance of that Salvation wrought by the Lord concerning which I am only to believe sets me again upon my feet I have no other task but to be willing in truth to receive it and I shall have it and if so then you and I shall be sure never to want any one good thing Evil as Evil from the Lord cannot befall us You will then see the favour of God to you in earthly seeming Frowns No such favour as to be dead to sensible Comforts and as a Stranger to earthly carnal Contents though this be tedious to Flesh and Blood yet let it more appear that our Rest is not in these things but in the ever-living God he is your Teacher and I leave you to him 1653. To J. H. N o 15. I Have received your Letter and return you thanks for your love Should I give you a Draft of my Soul it would pity you to see it did not the Mercy of God prevent you would find me in the four last Vices mentioned in Rom. 1. but blessed be the Lord that though there be a Law in my Members warring and tormenting I have in the Lord a little strength and do sometimes view deliverance I have too long had too much content in a Carnal Walking with God and have been satisfied too much in a Carnal Appearance that way There is a way to live with God in the World but it is of his own making no visible or sensible thing can contribute any thing to it and yet I cannot die to these vain helps I shall never understand the word All noted in Matth. 22. 37. till the power of the Most High doth bear it in Ah when will it once be Certainly that Grace will one day be very glorious that hath attended a poor distressed heart through the uncomfortable sights and abundant frailties of this corrupt mortal condition One pure serious true long breathed desire of Christ's appearing gives some deliverance Oh the Glory of that day when the real appearing shall be and all filthy Garments removed and every filthy smell be for ever removed also Let us be found among those that wait for Redemption and wait waking Truly Brother we cannot word out one to another what is the State Duties and Privileges of an Interest in a new Life and hope of Glory The best means the best words yea the Scriptures though not so in themselves are even deceiving to a deceived carnal heart Such a heart will turn the most spiritual things into Flesh and so feed upon them to satisfie carnal Fancy Oh that you and I could start up from fleshly Consultation and listen quietly leisurely and yet greedily and obediently to the meer dictate of the blessed Spirit in his Word Your opportunity and mine of honouring God in the World is very far spent already I desire that you be not only for God in season but out of season also Dear Brother I thought fit to give you a touch of what my poor heart desires to be wrestling in I know you mind the same thing go on therein and prosper there is no other way of Peace but this I am rude but I had rather write my heart than my invention Well Brother I thank you for your good wishes to my poor Child I trust the Lord will vouchsafe her truth of Grace and shed abroad his Mercy and Love into her heart and make it appear as her tender years will bear and manifest the same Remember me to my Sister your Wife whom I have reason also to honour for the goodness of God to her and to you I trust in her I should rejoyce to hear that some others of yours and my poor Friends had the Lord alone for their whole desire and portion I would rather remember such in my Prayers than in my Letter Remember my love to your Sister D. who is I am much assured more precious in God's eye than in her own I leave all News to the Bearer and commend the Remembrance of you to the Lord and remain c. 1654. To S. D. H. N o 16. YOu see this state here is wavering unsetled moving to and fro 'T is a wondrous thing to see how the Lord is pleased to raise up one Wave of disquiet after another to molest the publick Peace and exercise the pains and patience of his people It is no Misery but a Privilege to one that is chosen hence to be emptied from Vessel to Vessel and indeed I scarce know a greater sign of Christ's Conjugal Love than by his Providence to render all other things and Conditions here to be unlovely and undesirable for then the Affections have no where else to centre but in Christ and that makes them go out strong that way Albeit my condition speaks much visible Uncertainty as to this outward Man yet I find a mighty War within me against a free and clear Closing with the certain Riches of Glory which is in Christ in which notwithstanding I trust I have an Interest and have recieved some witness thereof There is a secret joy in the inward part of my Soul and Refreshment at the Remembrance of the Promises of the God of Truth my Rock Sometimes Hope and Desire brings me near to Christ and he to me 'T is an admirable thing to think how a Soul can at the same time be covered over with its Guilt and yet be freed and triumph over the same as removed in Christ truly perfectly and for ever yet this is the Golpel-Doctrine and Experience A Body diseased through Sin yet
Sun and therefore poor Worms are never undone though never so low Could I more actually resign up to his Will and read that Golden Line of his Love that runs within every Providence of his and in every part of his Discipline and put my Seal to it how might I triumph and say O Sin where is thy Sting O Grave where is thy Death He dasheth earthly Comforts that himself might comfort alone he suffers Corruption to swell and rage that he may appear to be the only mighty Redeemer he glorifies the Excellency of his Word by forcing the Soul thither for Refuge Brother let us be flying into this Ark his Word endures to a thousand Generations we have the same God and no other than what Abraham Isaac and Jacob Moses David and Paul had He never left a poor Supplicant nor will do it for the Spirit of Supplication is his own Breath and himself deeply concerned in all the Concernments of his People they are his and their Concernments his also Let us muse this Privilege seriously and glorifie his good Will by Faith and Thankfulness and so rejoyce in believing above hope The Lord be a hiding place to you and me never yield to let him go but let us cling fast by Faith and Hope till he cause Salvation and Light to shine forth out of Obscurity and Comfort all that mourn Glorifie God by Faith Patience and Thankfulness lose not that and you will be no loser though the day be dark the Sun is not down The times of refreshing will come to us and we to them for our Redeemer lives for ever I leave you to that God and remain c. 1661. To S. D. N o 60. THat 's the happiest Man or Woman in the World that can truly hear the voice of God in his Rod. That happy profit I press and long for and that happiness I heartily wish to your self and my Brother that as God hath made you Partners in Affliction you would endeavour to the utmost to support each others Faith and holy Patience in a stormy day Afflictions be they what they will can never make you miserable Nothing makes the Rod tedious but unwarrantable vexations of Spirit and in days of trouble that is the usual Temptation and there is no such Cure as the naked sight of God's wise disposing hand If there have been any misgiving thoughts between you about future Concernments relating to your selves and your Children as under such Surges you have met withal our frailty is very apt unto spread that infirmity before the Lord who is abundant in Pardon Mercy and Truth who can spare the Lives of the rest if he please and will not suffer the Seed of his Servants to be desolate All the Scriptures be full of Counsel and infallible grounds of Consolation yet such is our Carnality Darkness and Unbelief many times that we think the Rock cannot yield Honey and so we gage things by fleshly and worldly Observation and are apt secretly to condemn the Wisdom Goodness and Faithfulness of God before we are aware whereas the only way to find the Pearl of real advantage in the blessed Word is to lay the heart to the Word by an exercise of Faith and then roll the Soul upon the Lord though it seems to be never so much against that Sense and Reason which Flesh and Blood is always dictating to us Dear Sister I must confess I travel under a treacherous heart of mine own which is ever betraying away my Peace my Strength my Faith and Hope and that is my daily burthen but I never come before the Lord with any openness and unfeigned Resignation to him for Pardon and Succour in vain I am somewhat a Partner with you in the Temptations and Waves of a present World but cannot call it dismal so long as God doth in some measure steer my Course in any sincerity after him Let us provoke one another to this and the Storm will be over the day will break and the darksome shadows will flee away or we shall flee through or flee beyond them for faithful is he that hath promised 1661. To J. L. N o 61. IT is good to mind our Interest in Christ seriously where-ever we are that when-ever we step out of this World we may step into a better in which dwells none but righteous Inhabitants and righteous things And were it not for this hope how miserable a life would Christianity be but one foretaste of Christ makes a dismal World pleasant That made Paul and Silas sing in their Bonds and John to be ravished in the Spirit in the Isle of Patmos and truly nothing else can do it 'T is our happiness that things which are seen are only temporal but things unseen are eternal I oft think of the comfortable society I had once with you but the Kernel of that which made Society then comfortable lies still safe so long as that Promise holds Loe I am with you alway even to the end of the World I recommend you into the hands of that precious Friend and remain c. 1661. To D. S. N o 62. LEt it be your and my study still to derive mortifying Power from the Grace and Cross of him who was dead and is alive I mean the Lamb who stands before the Throne in the vertue of his own Sacrifice Rev. 5. 6. perpetually to intercede for effectuating all the ends of his Mediation to them who come to God through him Our Prayers winged with faith in Christ and fellow-feeling one of another's troubles may fly faster than Letters can and there is no fear of their miscarriage if once placed by faith in the Mediator's hand The Lord who dwells in Houses not made with hands is the Habitation of his People Let the fulness of all manner of Contentment that is on the other side Jordan so warm our hope and faith that nothing on this side may discompose And Oh that I could dwell more in the view of him who is lifted up to draw all Men to him that so these earthly Affections might be transformed and fetch satiating delight from the place where Christ sits who is even now our life I commend you to him at his Throne let us meet and make merry in the Author of Consolation and our blessed Hope 1662. To D. H. N o 63. TRuly Sister I do sometimes wonder at the sottishness of my heart that can be so affected with the Christian tender Respects of a dear Friend and yet have no more flames of Affection to the Fountain of all Love and Loveliness Methinks nothing makes any Friend truly excellent in my thoughts but Grace and the Inhabitation of Christ there And if a Beam of his Grace creates a delightful Aspect where-ever it pitches how excellent for Perfection is Jesus Christ himself Sometimes our hearts are apt to fancy Christ as if he were humoursome revengeful as if he would make the worst of things and not the better sometimes
be so When he says Sin shall not have Dominion over you I will circumcise your hearts to love me I will redeem Jacob out of all his trouble I will be with you and deliver you his words are all true but our little exercise of Faith is either like a weak handed Gripe or a leaky Vessel yet our Faith it self is in his keeping and his Intercession is incessant and therefore it cannot utterly fail Dear Sister wait on him pluck up your Soul to the business your labour will not be in vain nor any unfaigned desire after him return disappointed and ashamed Throw Husband Child and self upon him into his Bosom and there lodge together by Faith in the Joy of the Holy Ghost and so take your rest I mean a laborious and yet a sweet Rest for He gives his Beloved Sleep His own Concernments are mixt in ours though his own are chief in his eye yet he can look upon them without beholding ours for the Covenant is made and the Blood that concerns it is already shed and fully accepted the Redemption compleat and the Lord's portion and delight is his People So that he as it were if I may say as it were in so true and real a business raiseth in himself an endless delight by loving his ransomed Seed and in dressing them according to his own heart and shedding out a measure of that Love into their hearts also for carrying on a Spirit of Conjugal Affection in the Souls of his People towards him now till the shadows slee away and we come to know him as we are known of him and so love him without interruption as we are loved of him Is the day near when a thousand fold more of this will really appear than words can utter For who can speak how much there lies in God's Purpose yea in his very heart to do for them for whom he died bought so dear and rescued with so high a hand Deut. 10. 15. How then should we look out to awaken our faith and lift up our heads because our Redeemer is alive and risen and our safety is in him Oh that my own heart and yours were more warmed in such a view I have no more but to recommend you to the Bosom of him who is the God of all Grace Pity Power and Consolation Yours in the hope of this saving Health and Relief c. 1663. To E. D. N o 70. I Received your Letter though not so well spelled as that I received before but as bad as it was a Father can pick out the meaning of his Child for Love is quick-sighted and the best Interpreter of words in the World God is so to me and teacheth me the same to you You wrote you would fain have a tender heart such as the Prophet calls a heart of Flesh but not a fleshly carnal heart What then must become of the hard heart Your earthly Father cannot take that away nor give you the other but beg of him who made the Promise and he can and will both give you the one and do the other also Be not a stranger to him I would part with some of your Affection towards me as far as he allows me that you might spend it on him You cannot speak to me but by a Letter at this distance but you may to God all hours of the day and night Read the Scriptures as the Word of him who deserves all your love and desire I am contented to have it only at the second hand Muse over as oft as you can by what you read and hear how sinful your Nature is and loathsome in God's eye and how wondrous his Goodness is to tell you he lays that loathsomness of yours on Christ and he has by his death brought in eternal Redemption for you Consider his exceeding love and the great travel of his Soul and bitter Agony that you in prizing and flying to him may be freed from the dreadful state of a hard and polluted heart you cannot ask any thing of him to this end only do it reverently and with reliance on him but he is as willing to give it You may open all your heat to him yea you must do it for he loves to have you do it that so your whole heart may be cured and my Child be found at last among the number of them who sing for ever Blessing and Honour Glory and Thanks to him who loved us and washed us from our Sins in his own Blood I leave you to his care c. 1663. To D. H. N o 71. I Have not yet found out a way of Employment but am looking out and do desire to be looking up for my advice and help comes from the Hills as David speaks Disappointments as a wise and faithful God orders them are as useful many times as Success God has not cast me out of his gracious Covenant nor my Soul into murmuring discouragement but tells me the Trial of my Faith is better much better than Gold However 't is with my outward Man yet my chiefest Want is not there and although my sinful and corrupt heart wars strongly against the Spirit and the new Creature yet I believe the Spirit in the Operations of his Grace in the new Creature will carry the day when all is done for our Redeemer is strong I am laden with Darkness Weakness corrupt Lusts Vanity Distrust unsteady and uneven Walking deadness and hardness of heart but I find the Fountain of Mercy for cleansing still open and the Grace Mercy and Truth of God in the Covenant unchangeable and in this stands all my Salvation all my chiefest desire 1 Sam. 23. 5. I want nothing but more Faith more spiritual Light and Furniture more of Christ's Image more renewing in the Spirit of my Mind to have less carnal Carefulness Luk. 12. 22. and more of the just Man's Life Hab. 2. 4. Sin makes a Man poor weak and fearful the Grace of God which brings Salvation makes a Soul rich strong and confident for the Covenant of Grace and the Promises are more than words The Treasure is full and if I could bring my empty Sack in earnest it would be filled in earnest I give you a short hint of my Convictions my Conditions Travels and desires that in the like you may see you are not alone and that we may strive in Spirit together towards the glorious Prize of our high Calling I commend you to your and my strong Rock the blessed and ever-living God c. 1663. To D. H. N o 72. I Am attending what the Providence of God will direct further to Now and then some Doors of Providence seem to open themselves a little but as yet nothing effectually but the God of Providence who is the God of all Grace also rules them and every thing is and will be most beautiful in its season He has glorious Lessons to teach me and others in such a method and Discipline as this is and
ever observing that blessed Rule of our Saviour in Matth. 7. 12. And when he had hired or made use of Persons in any Work or Labour he would not only pay them their due which was agreed to and promised but most frequently he would give them somewhat over and above especially if he judged them to be poor and needy That whilst he had bodily His Diligence in his Calling with a holy Frame of Spirit therein Strength and Health to manage Worldly Employments he was always active and industrious therein and he could not be ever charged with any wilful Omission Yet all the while he had his Mind so composed that he was ever in a readiness to a due and regular Attendance on the solemn Duties of his high Calling not suffering any outward Occurrence of what kind soever to distract or unsettle his Mind But when he approached to God in the actual Exercise of any Religious Duties he was still furnished with such variety of Matter and Divine Rhetorick as if all his preceding time had been taken up in and about spiritual Work Such was the habitual Frame of his Soul towards heavenly things And he gave this Advice That we should do Worldly Business with Diligence Patience Moderation and Faith and with such a self-denying respect as if it were the sole Interest and Concern of another rather than our own And when we would make a Judgment of our selves or Actions in matters doubtful we should put our selves in the Room of a third Person in the Case His great Love to the Church His Love to the Church and People of God and People of God rendred him a restless Supplicant and Intercessor in Prayer for them That upon whatsoever Immergency relating to the Church of Christ in general or any Member thereof in particular even for such whom he never knew or saw on the first notice of their Distresses he would be wrestling with God in secret Retirement And if other Christians were at such a time near or occasionally present he would be also urging them to the same Work saying Come let us lift up our joynt Requests to God for them And this at any time of the day and constantly at set times for Prayer he presented their Case and Concern most affectionately before the Lord as a thing which always lay very much on his heart And for the Church of Christ in general his Petitions were observed to be such as these That God would visit Zion the whole Church and visible Body of Christ here in this World That it might be a Glory in all the Earth That as he hath taken hold of the Plough he would carry on his own Work That he would look upon his Son look upon his Covenant look upon that Redemption he hath contrived and designed for the bringing in of Souls unto himself to bestow his own Free Grace upon in making them Vessels of Mercy and Glory That his Church might prosper and every faithful Member of it and become Glorious in Holiness That the Son of Righteousness would break forth and sparkle upon it That his Ordinances might be maintained his Gospel run and be glorified and get Ground every where That God would tender his People as the Apple of his Eye as a Royal Diadem in his hand and as the Object of his Delight That he would give a mighty Check and a dreadful Rebuke unto the fury of all such as bear ill Will to Zion And that all Oppositions and Combustions against his Interest might tend to the Advancement of it of his Glory and the furtherance of the Gospel That Holiness might spread it self throughout the World and the Mouth of Iniquity be stopt in all the Earth That all that Enmity against God and his People which hath been in the World ever since the Infection crept into our Natures from Satan the Prince of Darkness might be destroyed and come to an end That his People might glory in his great Salvation procured and purchased by the Vndertaking of Jesus Christ on their behalf That he would rule in the midst of his Enemies bearing down the Spirit of Wickedness and all the Contrivers of Mischief That he would remember his People under sore Trials and be in the midst of the Storm and say unto them It is I be not afraid and prepare them for every Shock they shall meet withal before the Son of Man appeareth That the Throne of his Grace be lifted up and the Rise of his Glory made conspicuous That the Sceptre of Jesus Christ might sway it self and become Glorious Counter-working all the Wisdom and crafty Counsel of the Serpent's Seed And that he would not suffer his People to be in any Pit out of which his Arm cannot help them That he would keep his Ministers as Stars in his Right Hand that his Enemies which are as the Tail of the Dragon might not scatter them That all his People might be enabled to meditate Terrour and not be afraid when he shall arise to shake terribly the Earth That Salvation might be for Walls round about his People and that God would cause his Glory to shine forth That God would save these Nations with a mighty Salvation and undertake for his own Glory in the midst thereof That for such as are under Bonds of Guilt he would deliver them by his Rescuing Pardoning Grace That he would be mindful of those under inward Trouble by reason of Pollutions within and Wounds of Temptation from without That spiritual Objects might be great in their sight and that he would bring them out with some notable advantage over all the Powers of Darkness that lay Siege against their Faith and Hope His whole Life attested the Tenderness of his Conscience His Tenderness of Conscience and it was particularly remarkable in these two Instances First When he had at any time Moneys lying by him to any value he would lend the same without demanding a Penny Interest And when-ever he received any Interest he would be sure to bestow it wholly in charitable and pious Uses Secondly Whilst he had Trading abroad on all Goods Exported and Imported he was very careful of paying the full Duty or Custom thereon rated and required without Diminution His high Esteem of the Grace His high Esteem of Repentance and Applications to Christ of Repentance with his Applications to Christ shewed it self in his frequent lamenting Confessions of Sin and praying for great measures of Repentance for himself and exhorted others to the same necessary Work And he was a diligent Searcher and curious watchful Observer of his own heart who could not bear with any Guilt but would make fresh Applications to the Blood of Sprinkling saying To be under Guilt was sad but when we are laden in the sence of it if we carry this Guilt to Christ and venture on him for Pardon and Mercy we shall not be cast out And how it was an evil and a bitter thing to
am methinks like Jonah tumbling My Soul in a Tempest in the bottom of the Sea the Bars of an earthly and dark Mind are stopping my way and am as lifeless methinks as if I had no Interest in the Fountain of Saving Health The Weeds are wrapp'd about my head I am in the Deep but cannot cry unto the Lord as Jonah did And what the Lord is teaching me by this unexpected disappointment I cannot yet tell yet notwithstanding I have hope in him that I shall yet be rescued from this Captivity and see his Face again I have been searching after all my sins through the several Ages of my Life and endeavoured to view the Depravity of my Soul in all the sinful Circumstances of every sin but I cannot wind my self out my design was to get thereby to a more sincere Closure with Christ but e're I was aware I had challenged forth more Enemies than I could well suppress I thought by aggravating my sins to have gotten more hunger after Jesus Christ but like over-much cold Water it damped my Stomach and I found Sickness seizing upon me rather than Hunger a heartless Stupidity instead of Believing I concluded I was in some kind or other out of my way or else had not prepared my Stomach to keep out the Infection that exhaled from that Body of Death which is within me as I should have done whiles I was moving the Limbs thereof The thing I aimed at was quickning Then I remembred that word Luk. 24. 5. Why seek ye the living among the dead Come not amongst the Graves without his company who died for sins and is risen from the Dead I could not be satisfied about the sincerity of my Repentance and there I stuck till at length I remembred that Christ rose again as well to give Repentance as Remission of Sins Act. 5. 31. and 11. 18. so that I can bring no Repentance to him but I must first get it from him He is exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance c. A Saviour to take away all the defects of my Repentance a Prince to overcome all the difficulties and to create in me a sound Mind against the Infirmites of my Repentance and my halting therein Take then O mighty Prince and Saviour this work into thy own hands and create a right Spirit within me So that now my gadding Spirit is My Soul returning to its Strong Hold. brought back again to see that Christ is the Alpha and Omega the Author and Finisher of whatever doth concern the new Creature And although he be so yet how hard is it to venture my Soul and Body my whole Hope and Care into his hands by faith in his Word I had need know such an one very well with whom I am to venture my Journey through a Warfaring Life here and shortly through Death and Judgment too and so into the Ocean of Eternity O dear Jesus who art my Lord and my God who canst renew my heart and none else can do it breath upon me and say Receive the Holy Ghost Cast thy Mantle upon me and let the Unction of thy Spirit be so shed abroad throughout my whole Soul that my heart may be entirely thine thine only that thy self only may be the Covering of my eyes instead of all other Objects And now what should hinder but The Soul first improves Baptism that at length I should solemnly in the presence of God the Father Son and Spirit and in the presence of all the elect Angels pursue the ends of that Covenant which was sealed by Christ's Appointment to me in Baptism through whose hands soever that Ordinance was appointed and permitted to pass upon me Was not that a Divine Prophesie which Balaam himself spake which passed through his Mouth Numb 24. 17. There shall come a Star out of Jacob c. and can the Ordinance of Christ be made void through whose hands soever it came and in what unworthy Robe soever it was drest Did the sacred Ark lose its vertue by being in the Philistines Custody Did he forsake it who dwelt between the Cherubims Was the Mercy-seat forsaken and become like common Metal Why then should this Ordinance be lost to me in the substance of it though it may be some humane Scurf was laid upon it And have I not more reason to hope through Covenant-Grace that the Faith and Prayers of my dear Parents then and since are in force for a Blessing upon it to me than the defects of others in the manner of Administration can have to hinder it especially seeing now I desire humbly to take hold of the Covenant and with my own consent to say I agree to the Condescension of thy Grace and Love my dear Lord I catch hold on thy free Love and into thy Name O most holy God the Father Son and Spirit I give my self up through him who confirmed the Covenant and came by Water and Blood to make it effectual I believe Lord help my Unbelief I reach out my hand through thy Grace let thy Grace and Power pull me over to thy self that in the Ark of thy unchangeable Covenant I may be carried above my self and above a miserably drowned World Be not absent O thou who in thy Mercy didst make and impose this Seal of the Covenant as the Badge of one of thy Family for me to wear who also speakest words of Truth and Life when thou saist I baptise thee in the Name of the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost fulfil thy good Word unto me thy Servant in which I desire to hope that thou mayest be mine and I may be thine wholly for ever that I may serve thee and glory in thee with all thy people who are thine own Inheritance Do not hang back O my poor Struggles with Vnbelief heart whose weakness and inconstancy have so often bruised my inward Man O Anxious Unbelief thou tellest me 't is a bargain soon made but how shall it be performed Thou urgest me with difficulties that will arise from the World from my self from the Tryals that I may undergo in my Body my Soul my Estate unwonted Tryals Thou tellest me of the great fits of Darkness and shameful declining I have had after much Refreshment and strong Resolutions to the contrary Thou tellest me that my Falls will now cost me dearer than ever they did and the Holy Spirit will be sooner vexed and grieved than before Thou tellest me I shall soon be weary of my Yoke and then my Sins will be of a deeper and more heart-hardning Die than ever But remember O Soul-destroying Unbelief I rowl my self upon the Rock of Ages I deliver my self up to the Covenant of Grace not to bring strength to it but to fetch strength from it and from that word which saith Sin shall not have Dominion over you for you are not under the law but under grace Rom. 6. 14. And because I am weak
Relation to him Ezek. 16. 38. he bare his own guilt before with distraction and horrour now Christ bears it from him before his very eyes and melts his heart into remorse at the sight of such a spectacle Zach. 12. 10. Ten thousand Rivers of Oyl could not expiate one Sin before but now they all pass away as a Cloud driven before the Wind and efficacy of the one Sacrifice of Christ to whom and to which by faith he is united his sins made him wander still farther and farther from God before now they are made contrary to their own nature to scourge him into the fresh Application of Jesus Christ by whom he draws near to God Psal 89. 30 31. 1 Pet. 3. 18. in all his Affliction he was alone before now Christ is his Partner Isa 63. 9. Christ is truly touched with his Calamities Zach. 1. 12. his smart is as the pricking of the Apple of Christ's Eye Zach. 2. 8. As for Losses in temporal things they were before Judgments upon him they are now gracious Trials of his faith and patience and means of purging him and drawing him into a nearer reliance on the Heir of all things So that his Losses and Crosses do not now tend to undo him but to awaken and transform him 1 Sam. 30. 6. in the midst of his fears he is not forsaken 2 Cor. 4. 9. but through this Union with Christ he is still in safe hands Psal 27. 1. Isa 43. 2. Dan. 3. 17 18 25. Temptations of Satan and his fury cannot destroy him because the Prince of Life to whom a renewed person is united has cast out the Prince of this World and tempers his poysonous Temptations into a phisical Potion curbing noxious humours in order to health Joh. 12. 31. working the Soul to more Humility Faith Prayer and patient Recumbency on God and Contentment in him 2 Cor. 12. 7 8 9 10. The meer civil Actions of such a person though the same still in themselves yet in respect of the change of the Agent they have some different Consideration otherwise than they had before He sets about them with other motives other dispositions and other ends than he had before which appears in that although the thing be done or spoken never so well to the contentment of others yet if Christ to whom this new Creature is united be not served with singleness of heart therein this renewed Soul akes as much as if the Action it self had been done never so much amiss And whence comes this smiting of heart but from this Union with God in Jesus Christ 2 Sam. 24. 10. in that the proper sway and tendency of such Convictions do bring the Soul still nearer and nearer to God through Jesus Christ which gives a spiritual Discovery of the unseen and living Breath and Pulse of this Union Ezek. 20. 37. And this seems to have relation to that expression used by the Lord to his people of old The quarrel of my Covenant Levit. 26. 25. threatning to punish them for their sins as they were contrary not only to the Law of Righteousness but also contrary to the Law of Covenant-Relation Yea all the Labours Anxieties and solicitous Exigents in the affairs and business of a renewed person do run along through the Sympathy of Christ and by reason of this near Union cannot but be Copartner therein and looks to it that one way or other the incumbrance shall usher in advantage he condescends to be as one weak with them that are weak as one troubled with them who are troubled that he may discipline the Grace and exercise the Faith of his people whereby he glides them along into some unavoidable necessity of Resignation of themselves and their Cares into the Arms of his divine Power and so ripens in them the Application of this Union betwixt him and them in their hearts And his design being to bring his People as a chast Virgin to himself he aims rather at the carrying on of that drift than at the answering the natural desires of his people about Ease or Deliverance any otherwise than as may suit with that end of his in making of them partakers of his holiness and whispers secretly into their ear the Servant is not to be above his Master I trod the dirty and toilsome way before you and am treading over again every step of it with you and in you you must be conformable to my Death and shall be conformable to my Resurrection Come along with me and your burthens shall not break you because it cannot break me your own projects may fail but in me you are Heirs of Blessing and Deliverance and shall not go without it Heb. 6. 15. I will give you rest Matth. 11. 28. He relieved not his own Body against the Treachery of Judas and the Company that came to apprehend him although he was the Omnipotent God and had all Power in his hands because it suited not with the design of Man's Redemption and as it fared with that Body of his that was in personal Union with the Godhead so doth it fare in some proportion with each Member of his mystical Body Their burthens and perplexities do not at all import that his hand is shortned or that he is really absent or had forgotten them no more than his Divine Nature could be separated from the Humane Nature when the stress of his sorrow made him cry out My God my God Why hast thou forsaken me As that Union carried him through so will this Union carry through his Members also It being now about three years since that God was pleased to cast Some Considerations in order to the fresh Application and Improvement of this Grace of Vnion with God in Christ the aforesaid Meditations into my heart and since that time having been for a season a Stranger in a strange Land beyond the Sea and there passed through a dark Vale of Privation and Distance from those Ordinances and that Society which I formerly enjoyed and having there also layen in the Shadow of Death through a long and lingring Sickness of my Body and being now some Months past returned back to my own Native Country where the good hand of God which never left me quite desolate caused me to review the Solemn Covenant which through his Grace I entred into the 30th December 1660. which Covenant being yesterday renewed and having therein solemnly given up my self again to the Lord and accepted of him in the Tenders of his Grace to be my God and Saviour and to own him in all the Relations of his condescending Grace and Love and also to submit willingly to his blessed Yoke Rule and Will expressed by his Spirit in his Word I find still much longing in my Soul to know him more inwardly that I might the more enjoy him and be the more serviceable to him and to that purpose having perused over again the foregoing Meditations concerning the Union between God and all and every
we could believe this and redeem our precious time to learn the Will of God and to be fashioned more to his Likeness under earthly fears or burthens As for Betties Recreation I would have her amongst other things learn to sing that she might use the glorious Ordinance of singing Psalms with the more delight I must as often as I can put you in mind and let us put one another in mind while we are in this World of Sin and Trouble that we labour constantly and earnestly to preserve the health of the inward Man Oh keep a spiritual Palate for right relishing spiritual Food and to be every day girding on us afresh the long Robe of Christ's Righteousness that we may be suitable to the state we are called to Communion with the Father himself and Jesus Christ 'T is a Garment that grows fresher and fresher to us by the wearing 'T is a Garment that will never sully but cleanseth the Soul that wears it 'T is defensive against cold fainty Fits and the best Armour that can be against the Rage of Sin and Satan 'T is a glorious Robe and yet it hath a singular Vertue to make the Soul that wears it humble The first Garment that the first Adam made did somewhat hide his Shame but could not remove his Guilt and Fear and therefore he ran with it from God But this Garment of the second Adam has the only Excellency to bring Souls to God yea to his very Throne with boldness He or she that wears this Robe carries Salvation about with them and are Objects of delight to the Father Son and Spirit and to the blessed Angels wherever they go and whatever their Condition here be and as Job's Friend said Job 5. 27. so may I that So it is hear it and know it for thy good I leave you to the Lord and rest c. 1659. To D. H. N o 42. THe Lord teach us his mind and loosen us from a present World and gather our hearts and hopes near to himself 'T is one of our invaluable Privileges that this is not our Rest God calls aloud Come up hither Christ is above holding the Covenant of Grace in his Right Hand and all his broken-hearted Mourners and Prisoners of Hope wrapped up in it as in a Mantle Dear Sister all things are safe because they are in the heart of Christ and I doubt not but Christ is yours Spare not to pray spare not to repent with grief and joy spare not to relie on the Rock of Ages 't is all but the work of a beloved Spouse towards a matchless Husband Your Work and Labour in the Lord cannot but be accepted Set your eyes towards the tops of the Mountains your Beloved hastens like a young Roe and will not be at rest till he has rescued home all his Redeemed the dearly beloved of his Soul amongst which number I am much assured your Name is entred such are the Riches of his Grace to such a wretched Sinner And seeing he is resolved to save at such a rate what Soul-Enemy shall say What dost thou 1659. To B. D. N o 43. AS for your own fears under which you wrestle it is not the having or wanting earthly Tranquility that is any proper Character of God's Love or Anger but the discovering mark of that lies chiefly in the way of our deportment under such Trials agreeable to the practice of the Saints recommended to us in the Scriptures by the Spirit of God For there is no Temptation can befall us which has not been for substance the Trial of them who have endured and overcome before us And you are required to remember their faith and patience and the issue God gave that you do not succumb or faint as if God had forsaken the Government of the World or changed the nature of the everlasting Covenant ordered in all things and sure I have been labouring to live upon the naked Promises of God in reference to my outward Concernments as if I were in the want of all things and do think if I could come at it it were a glorious Portion None but exercised Believers can tell truly why the Promises are called rich and precious and how much lies in that word RICH IN FAITH Jam. 2. 5. and what extensive Satisfaction and Glory lies in that word GOOD All things shall work together for good to them that love God You know these things c. As fears or outward disappointments abound fly still a higher pitch till you rejoyce in manifold Trials that God counts you worthy to be listed among them who could not be made happy by earthly things nor miserable in the want of all things whether Estate Friends Health Credit or any thing else whilst they could fly to a higher Rock The Lord direct you and make you lanch forth upon the Power and in the Wisdom and under the Shelter of the Lord Infinite and abundant is that Shelter Oh that you and I could with Luther sing over all our sins and fears be they what they will the 46th Psalm God is a refuge for us a present help in trouble Here is our comfort this World is not our Country a few days will call us hence The good Lord manage all your Work and open such a Window from Heaven that both you and I and all that seek the Lord may be throughly transformed to a hearty joy even in divers Temptations and know the reason through his Grace why the blessed Spirit did put that Clause into the holy Scriptures for our patience and solid Comfort Jam. 1. 2. We are changeable no Rest here and 't is well it is so that we might not relish any thing in this World so sweet as to tempt away our hearts from lovely Canaan and the desirable Fellowship of Christ face to face Oh the day yet hastens I trust in which we shall sing away Heart-melancholy for ever c. 1659. To B. D. N o 44. GOd is a strong Refuge and as you have found it you will yet find it the more you roll your self Family and Estate upon him He is one that can forgive Sin and give Christ and can he not then give all things with him He can take away a treacherous heart and make it new Access for your Prayer is always open and will not he take away an evil heart of Unbelief that the Soul and he may meet together Let us fear and hope reach forth and touch the Golden Scepter and live in his sight The Vision is true which Faith in the Word discovers Oh happy is the humble Believer for there shall be a performance of all things promised Though the Mountains be cast into the midst of the Seas God is a refuge for us Selah c. 1660. To D. H. N o 45. I Know it is your care and labour to carry on your Warfare wherever you are the end of all things is hastening upon us and we are hastening to it Let
us read the Word as them that do believe it and pray over it for the truth of that will abide when the present World must vanish and all the things and persons in it Nourish the Meditation of Christ's Righteousness imputed to you and your Sins born by him as the principal means to make you hearty spiritual and useful to others c. 1660. To D. D. N o 46. I am refreshed that you are refreshed in the Lord. Brother cling there and be sure the scarlet and white Thread of the Blood and Spirit of Christ will never break though it be but as it were a Thread till it hath landed you safely If I am lifted up saith Christ I will draw all men viz. all Comers to him to me and according to the sense of your own words I would say Let none of us be discouraged in the toyl and hazard of things temporal Man liveth not by Bread alone but by every word of Promise that comes out of God's Mouth God has us upon the Anvil but himself only guides the Hammer A temporal Life is soon over Yet a little while and he that shall come will come Be still digging in the Mine of Wisdom Be often realizing to your self a departure hence Improve present Trials for present use for that God aims at and they are as needful whatever we think as the Thorn at the Nightingals Breast to keep him waking Let us strike in with God's Providences towards us as Co-workers that his designs upon us and in us may be promoted vigorously praying and believing against and above every Dispondency because his Word is strong when we are weak his good Will is the same though sometimes unseen naked Faith exalts him and so his blessed Will be done c. 1660. To D. D. N o 47. WHatever hazards or difficulties you may fear they are all under the compass of God's absolute dispose and the same Faith that carries us to rest on him for one thing in self-denying dependance which at this time God calls upon us eminently and graciously to exercise the same Faith having such a God and Christ in its eye is as extensive and under promise of Success to all things All things are possible to him that believeth Mar. 9. 23. As once Christ said Remember Lot's Wife so I would say to you Remember Lot himself Observe how infirmly he carried the matter although his Faith and Obedience was stronger than his Wives in the general and being sincere was accepted yet although he saw the Wonders of God before his face and his irresistable Power in destroying those Cities in that manner and preserving him as a Father would preserve a Child yet he feared to go to the Mountain where God appointed him lest he perished And when he was in Zoar a Town which God told him he would save for his sake yet there also he was afraid and departed thence as if he had no longer an Interest in the Power of God to save him And how sadly he fell when he thought he had secured himself in a Cave the story doth relate And such like Instances doth the Scripture yield in the History of Jacob David and others And because after every Exercise of Faith we are apt to enter into a Cave God doth hold out new Matter for our Exercise as it were to keep us in the open Air to make our Faith hardy and Warlike God loves not to have his Children crule about the Fire-side the refuge and sparks of their own kindling but for their healths sake enures them to the Weather that they may be hardy in believing according as the variety and difficulty and hazards do appear and the imagination of such things start into the Mind Let us beg of God the practice of our own Letters one to another and we shall yet see the Salvation of God in that kind as shall be best even it may be to the outward Man He that can be contented to venture his Estate his Safety his Credit his Soul his Body his Labours and the Success of them barely upon God and sit down and sing a Psalm to his Almighty Mercy Goodness and Truth that Man has got a Castle over his head let the Wind blow which way it will And herein the blessed God and Giver of Faith will not fail no more than the Truth of his Nature and Truth of his Word can change I would fain be at this practice However I must so far commend the way of my God and justifie the method of his Discipline both to me and to you that the Crown of our Profession and the Glory of a Christian Life lies in this Life in this kind of Life of Believing I do experience so many Obstructions against clear Dependance and Resignation to the safe hand of God's Power and Love and so many aching contradicting fits of Flesh and Blood that it would in some sense grieve me to put any friend that acts only in a carnal Mind upon such uncouth work as this is But knowing that you have already started the Game I would have you pursue merrily to perfect Surrender and Gloriation in God Believe it as bad a place as you are in God has made it for a season his School to you and till God doth some way clear things by his Providence for your Remove expect more practical Teaching and more Shelter under his Wing where you are than elsewhere although your company would be to me exceeding desirable c. 1660. To J. L. N o 48. I Am glad you are fitting your self to go through the Storm rather than to be dejected under it Nothing is more becoming a Christian than to make all ready in reference to a Dissolution I perceive you have lighted upon good Anchor-ground fix there and you will be well I desire to be fixed there with you 'T is an ill Choice to part with a Dram of Christ and Peace of Conscience for the greatest earthly Furniture That word I will never leave you nor forsake you is a Vessel that hath carried many a Soul through furious Tempests and still landed them safe and the same Vessel holds Tithe still It was built of good Timber and it hath a good Pilot always at the Helm and therefore it is safe venturing there Certainly the more freely and resignedly we can adventure Soul and Body upon him with a single heart purged in the Lamb's Blood the safer and the more satisfying will our Passage be 1660. To M. K. N o 49. I Desire both you and I may so improve all the Providences of God towards us that we may every day creep nearer to him in whom alone Pardon Peace and Eternal Life is treasured up for them who thirst for it Among which number I desire you and I may be found when God shall summon Quick and Dead to receive their Sentence c. 1660. To J. N. N o 50. I Am glad upon any occasion to hear of your welfare I
continue at present in this place waiting the issue of things which the Lord direct and over-rule to the best In the midst of all these weighty Providences and rolling Waves 't is good to look well to our Anchor and to be securing the main Uncertain Peace uncertain created Comfort uncertain Life do require us to lean but gently upon such things and to grasp after an Inheritance a Life a Portion which fadeth not a Country where neither Sighs nor Groans nor Sins have any place If great Shakings cannot throughly awake 't is a sign the Drowziness is very great if not deadly 'T is good to be very busie when the Inch of Candle is near at an end The Lord teach us heartily to improve our present Minute and enter into the Ark before the Flood come c. 1660. To M. N. N o 51. I Having had some opportunity to discern the frame of your heart and the truth of your Thirst after Jesus Christ and Resignation up to him I thought fit while I was writing to other Friends at N. C. to present you also a Line or two 'T is but a little that one Friend can write to another but where there is a mutual Interest in the same Spirit there is a Freedom through that Communion to expatiate large and wide in one anothers joynt Concernments and to bear a sence of the various Travels of the inward Man and how it is exercised in you who are begotten of the same God and Father and nourished by the same Spirit in Jesus Christ And in this respect one Christian may in some measure read the Condition and Affairs of another in his own Experience though the manner of Trials may be different The most that I would say to you is this Labour to satisfie your heart against Guilt by the personal Righteousness and Worth of Christ which you are commanded to own and put on by believing as a Garment made and appointed of God for your wearing fixing your eye on his Appointment and not upon your Unsuitableness on his Grace and not at all on your own Worthiness unless it be to urge you towards him with the more speed and resolution This is a Lesson I am every day learning and I know no shelter like it The Improvement of the Covenant of Grace in this manner was to the Prophet David all his Salvation and all his desire This is the Shelter that will keep dry when the Floods come This will make a Soul out-face Terror and give an Answer to turmoiling Accusations This will make the Lame to leap as a Hart and the Dumb to sing when Woes do over-spread the Earth I recommend you to this Sanctuary c. 1661. To D. H. N o 52. I Perceive my Aunt hath had her Weakness returned upon her such is the Constitution of this Clayey Lump But what a wonder is it that a Treasure of Grace and eternal Life should ever dwell through all the days of our Sin Trouble and Vanity in such a Tabernacle and that the Spirit of Christ the Spirit of Grace Holiness and Glory should never cease striving in the midst of all that Opposition and course Entertainment on our part and never give over till our Sins be utterly and for ever extinguished and Mortality swallowed up of Life and so these vile Bodies and polluted Souls made conformable to our Redeemer and the eternal Companions of his Bosom Let us fix our eye there and we shall be always projecting for him and never discontented with our Travel though we rid but little Ground Let us prize him and love him and all his Rules and Orders himself in the first place and all the rest for his sake only And that makes our work our delight not our toil and vexation for there is no want of help either for Strength or Pardon or both He takes Sinners to himself that he may spend Intimacy of Good Will upon them and never lets them go quite out of his hands any more Oh how little do we know him How little do we remember that every Conviction we have had every Groan every desire of Soul after him was born first in his heart and given to us as the new Creatures Food to ripen it for Glory We breath towards him in the strength of his own Breath We may be yet much more winnowed but cannot be lost nor our Faith quite fail because he prays for us as never meer Man did His Prayers cannot but speed for the Will of the Father Son and Spirit is one Will for they are one God and that Will is nothing but good Will to us who hope in him and catch hold of his free Covenantgood-Will to Men. I have now lately News out of the North that my dear Brother D. is departed out of this World How should these things make us love to be trading for that Country where all our best Friends go and not think it much that this World yields so many sorrowful bits because God never appointed it for our abiding place but only that we may hear his Voice and be contracted to him while we are below in order to the consummating the Marriage above The Lord make us chearfully serious in the business of our day while it lasteth to prepare to lanch forth when our Lord shall call Blessed are they who watch c. 1661. To D. A. N o 53. WHat God speaks in his Word we may take for our comfort to carry us through the Myre till we land beyond Sin and Pain The Salvation of such poor Sinners as you and I was and is the delight of the blessed Trinity The Father did in his Grace and Love elect the Son delighted to come and do the Father's Will in Redeeming the Holy Spirit loves to apply it and therefore is called the Comforter the Angels rejoyce that good Will from God is come to Men. If God say you must go to the Top of the Mount and die set your face towards him who has died before you to bring you through Fly to the meer Grace and Love of the glorious God that has designed Pardon and Righteousness for poor Sinners for his own sake in the Person of his own Son If he say you must lanch forth roll upon the Rock of Ages alone The wearier you are of your Sins the more welcome to a Saviour The wearier you are of your pains and burthens the sweeter will be the Bosom of an indulgent Father when you arrive at your Father's House The whole Race of the Residue of the Redeemed are your Fellow-travellers The whole Trinity is on your side the Scriptures on your side the eternal Covenant of Grace on your side while you bow your head and lean only on your beloved Redeemer Look up to him and fear not your passage I leave you to the Arms of endless Care Counsel Comfort Strength and Pity c. 1661. To D. H. N o 54. OUr work in this World is only to follow
Peace and Comfort in the Fountain of Freedom and Goodness We find our comforts and expectations here little better than a Bed of Thorns because this is not the Rest that is designed for the People of God and 't will be some help to us under this disquieting exercise and condition to remember that while we are passing through we are held in the hand of him who has a fellow-feeling of our Case who did once pass through the difficulties and drank of the Brook in the way but now lifts up his head and so is become the Foundadation of our Hope that such poor Wretches as we are shall one day through saith and patience arrive where our Fore-runner is entred Only let us now cling upon him till we become transformed into his Likeness and be compleatly dressed with the white Robe of his Righteousness that in him and only in him we may be found without spot In the mean space let us pray and abound therein for our selves and one another to our gracious God who will at length perfect that which concerneth us To him I commend you c. 1668. To T. M. P. N o 91. I Put you both together in my Letter because I have understood that you are now no longer two but one I was very glad to hear that all your prudential Demurs had at last resolved themselves into a Consummation of this long intended Union My hearty desire for you both is that the Blessing and Guidance of the Lord may render your mutual Society a real and constant Comfort to each other and mutual advantage in reference to all Soul-Concernments There is no Condition in this World so desirable but is attended with Temptations and Trials and therefore 't is needful as you have given your selves to each other so also that you give up your selves particularly and joyntly as Yoke-fellows together unto the sweet Yoak and belessed Will of our Lord Jesus Christ One of the greatest Resemblances that we find in Scripture whereby the Love of Christ is set forth to Believers is this state of Marriage And whatever Content therefore you find in this changed Condition let it steer your thoughts to that glorious Mystery of Christ's espousing our Nature that we might become partakers of the Image of God in him and long for that appearing of his when the full solemnizing of the mystical Marriage betwixt Christ and his Church will come and the Union in all degrees be perfected I commend you to the good hand of the Lord c. 1668. To C. M. P. N o 92. THe Present is to acquaint you that my Cousin J. B. died Tuesday last and was this Evening buried God was pleased to order it so that I had notice of his sickness till after his death which was and is a great trouble to me but I understand Means were not wanting for his Recovery His Master much bewails the loss of so faithful a Servant He had as I understand some darkness upon his Spirit till a little before his death and then uttered as well as he could these words Eye hath not seen nor ear heard c. the things which God hath prepared for them that love him and so died almost immediately and has left a sweet savour behind him and a Warning for us his Friends that we make ready and be not found unprepared when the like Summons come unto us We see by daily experience that Life-time and Health is not in our own keeping and therefore are concerned to improve it well while it continues c. The gracious Presence of the Lord be with you c. 1668. To E. D. N o 93. SInce my former God has been pleased to draw a Cloud upon my poor Family Tuesday last little Tho. fell sick and on Wednesday Morning died and is this day to be buried a great and suddain stroak which doth almost overwhelm my dear Wife who goes up and down lamenting and often crying out that she has sinned away her sweet Babe into the Grave You may see in short how 't is with us at present I need not add more for I know what tender Love your self did bear to this sweet and heart-taking Infant Only I desire both you and my dear Sister and our Friends there to pray for us that this stroak may be blest to us all and that my desolate dear Wife may be guided through her present Confusion of Spirit to the only and right Refuge I delivered her your Letter which was very acceptable and therefore pray write her something again and I desire my Sister would do the same 'T is good to help in time of need Her heart is much broken and my Affliction not a little and I believe it is for some further good that God intends to us both a few Lines from you whom I know she doth dearly value will be very seasonable No Affliction is at present joyous but grievous but afterwards comes the sweet and wholsome Fruit and this is the Portion of them who take hold of the full and sure Covenant and the crucified risen Christ who dies no more There is nothing will so wean Affections hence and from the mischief of Creature-love as the Study of Christ viewing him in the Gospel pondering his excellent Person and his glorious Mediatory Office for us and so pitch the Affections on him to be inflamed with his Love in our own Propriety in him And therefore not only with the Bowels of an Earthly Father but in the Bowels of Jesus Christ I intreat and in his Name do charge you to study and muse day and night the unmeasurable endless Love of God who sent his Son the infinite unwearied and endless Love of Christ who came died rose again and lives for ever to be your only Portion and to make you even you a delightful Portion to him and to render you through the Blood of Sprinkling and the Communion and Influence of that one Spirit of the Father and Son an Object of his Delight and a Monument of his pardoning Grace and his purifying Vertue to all Eternity To him I commend you 1668. To E. D. N o 94. BOth my self and my Wife are very sensible of this sore Storm with which the Lord is pleased to exercise your faith and patience at this time But Christ is in the Vessel and therefore you cannot perish in the Fire and in the Water in every cold and hot fit he is with you and has a tender sense of every jot of your pain and sickness t is a Father's Chastisement and Trial and all his aim is to purifie and fit you for an Object of his eternal delight I know his everlasting Arms are under you and though the Dispensation be dark yet he is doing you good with all his heart according to his Covenant and with all his Soul He enclined your heart of his own Grace to chuse him because he chose you first and will yet chuse you in the Furnace
make it blossom when he please He that hath given us himself will not with-hold what is truly good from us All his Methods are lovely to a believing Eye Let us soar above and disown all other Comforts that contradict our Communion with him The Riches of free Grace and that blessed Interest in Christ doth sparkle sweetliest in a tastless dark World I have no greater thing to say to my own Soul or yours than this Let us chuse God in Christ for our Portion and exceeding Joy and then we shall have not only enough but our Cup will run over With my dearest Affections and true Love to your self and cordial Respects to all other Friends c. 1669. To M. D. N o 99. IT can never go ill while the Door of Access is by Christ's own hand kept open to converse with God and some favour this way he is pleased now and then to grant me The Concernments of his glorious Name do call for our greatest Solicitude and though I am now wandring up and down I desire still to bear that more tenderly upon my heart I hope our Prayers meet every day at the same Throne of Grace Let that Trade go on and other things will do well enough I see serious Persons have weighty thoughts about the present Providences of God towards us I have you much upon my heart Feed upon the Grace of the Gospel every day and pray for me that I may do so too c. 1669. To M. D. N o 100. MY heart will not suffer my hand to be quiet unless I take every opportunity to render my self as present with you as I can methinks the savour of Christianity in this place among many I converse with is like the smell of a field which God hath blessed Cherish whatever may render the Love of Christ predominant in your heart I think my heart hath felt the good of yours and others Prayers and I hope God has begun by what I hear to answer his Peoples Prayers for his Church Oh that he may go on and fill their Mouths with Praise I have no more but my choicest Affections to your dear self c. 1669. To B. D. N o 101. I Have heard by Mr. D. that you have been lately sick but yet recovering I doubt not but you always wait and prepare for your Change and are through Grace ready for it We see the mutability of all Terrene things but an Interest in an unchangeable Covenant of Grace will not fail nor deceive all such as are comprised in it who may always say the Lord is good and every thing will work together for good for us if we let not go our Confidence Seeing the Providence of God hath so ordered my Condition that I must while Health and Life continue have my hand in some endeavours for necessary Supply I am still waiting upon his Blessing in that way which he was pleased to direct me unto and I may say with Jacob God hath sed me all my life long and 't is safe and comfortable resting on his Arm. I commend your Person and Affairs to our most wise God to dispose guide and manage I know you need much Faith Wisdom Patience and Self-denial to carry you through but you have a strong Refuge still to flee unto and be accepted And there I leave you c. 1669. To S. M. N o 102. AFter much languishing Weakness the Lord was pleased to remove hence by Death Mr. H. D. much lamented by many He gave good evidence of his Interest in the unchangeable Covenant before his last Change came and so left a good savour behind him We have enjoyed much freedom here for some time but what times we are reserved for we know not but our times are in God's hand who seems to call upon us all to remember that this World is not our resting place and therefore we are still to prepare for fresh difficulties and the hurries and uncertainties here below should be as a Spur in our sides to our motion towards the Land of Rest and that purchased and promised Freedom for which the whole Creation groaneth Blessed are those disquiets that rouze the Soul thither for true Rest and Ease The Lord help us among all other business here to mind Eternity and be always ready that whensoever God please to summon us hence by Death it may not be as an uncomfortable Surprize c. 1669. To J. L. N o 103. I Desire that ancient Affection between us may never die though distance of Habitation has put us for a long time far asunder I have lived upon the care of my God hitherto and may say of him as Jacob did He has fed me all my life to this day and I have his Promise also for the future and faithful is he that hath promised Let us both have still a fresh pursuit after the chiefest good kept alive and growing more and more in our Souls c. 1670. To M. D. N o 104. I Know I am upon your heart and in your prayers as you are in mine Present my affectionate Respects to Mr. Br. and tell him I desire his serious Remembrance of me before the Lord and the like I desire of every praying Friend Be not anxious concerning the present Providence our times and every Case of ours are all in the hands of God to him let our Requests be made known and every thought composed in believing on him who hath said All things shall work together for good to them that love him as I hope in some measure of truth we do With utmost Affections to your self c. The good hand of the Lord be with you c. 1670. To M. D. N o 105. HOw many experiences doth God give us day after day of his Pity and Love and Oh that our hearts may be raised up to adore and love him again which is the principal Thankfulness that we are able to shew Be careful in nothing but let Faith and Prayer breath forth every Anxiety of Soul into the wise and gracious dispose of God and in him centre with a holy recumbent Acquiescence of heart 'T is a profitable sweet necessity to be forced upon the naked Arm of God and that he alone becomes the Stay and only Retirement of the Soul c. The Grace Power Wisdom and Faithfulness of God never becomes admired till we improve them in all Cases This is the Mark I aim at this is a most secure delightful Pasture to feed in when the World seems to be a barren Wilderness and the things thereof wither I commend you for Health Comfort and Preservation to my gracious God he is our Father and hath a Fathers heart and a Fathers care I hanker after my peculiar Station and to be amongst those dear Friends from whom I am at present separated by distance of place though not in Affection I remember them as God enables me in my daily Addresses and I know I am remembred by them
Lord's Vineyard Dear Cousin the Lord is pleased to use many ways and means to cause us to make the utmost improvement of Seasons and Opportunities of Grace and gives many Motives thereto amongst which this is one that the Prophets do not live for ever and therefore he requires us to make speed while the day of Grace and while the time of Life continues that we may not be found naked and unready when our Summons from hence by Death shall be sent us I have not arrived to the length of your days but the effects of old Age are much upon me and the shadows of the Evening have begun to appear therefore as it is always so especially it is needful for you and I that are almost at the utmost bounds of our time to look into and much to strive after the real and essential parts of Godliness which lies much in this viz. To ponder the Corruption of our own Nature and the Contradiction that it stands in against the pure Nature of God and his revealed Will till we arrive at such a Self-Abhorrence and Dispondence of any Relief which we can derive from whatever we are or whatever we can do as of our selves that we may betake our selves entirely and perfectly to the Grace revealed in Christ casting our Anchor of Hope there and there only flying to the Merits of Christ and his single Righteousness in the vertue and under the Covering whereof to appear before him when all Flesh shall stand and receive their unalterable Sentence that then we may have the comfortable Happiness of that good Word There is no Condemnation to those that are in Christ I cannot at present add more only this Let none of your past or present Troubles of what kind soever hinder your rejoycing in your gracious God and Saviour who hath fed you all your Life long and will be your God and your Guide and as I am abundantly persuaded you will find him according to all that he hath promised your exceeding great Reward when the days of Rest and endless Refreshing shall come I commit you to the gracious Guidance of God and the comfortable Fellowship and Communion of his Holy Spirit I pray for you and desire to be remembred also by you in your Prayers unto the God of all Grace even our own God and Father Under whose Wing I desire to leave you and remain c. 1681. To C. E. D. N o 129. GOd has been pleased to continue your Life unto a great length of days and though your outward Man hath been withering yet blessed be God I perceive your inward Man hath been assisted by his good Spirit hitherto to make a happy Voyage to the Haven of true Rest The Lord in Mercy accompany you through the remaining part of your Voyage till you enter safely into the Harbour and be setled in the Mansions which Christ is gone before to prepare for you I have my self much Infirmity of Body and am in daily Combat with the Corruption and Vileness of my own heart from which I hope through the Riches of free Grace to be ere long delivered and I have an abundant hope as to the same concerning your self Cast your eye upon the great Mediator roll your self upon him for he will never leave you nor forsake you One days Communion with God without all Sin in that Heavenly Country will make you full amends for all the difficulties you have passed through in your earthly Pilgrimage And though I am not like to see you in this World I hope through the Grace of the everlasting Covenant to see you where there will be neither Sin nor old Age c. to molest either you or me any more Dear Cousin the Arms of Divine Love Grace and Mercy be continually embracing you I can now add no more but do commend you into the hands of that God whose I am persuaded you are and whom you serve My affectionate Respects to your self and all your Relations and that Seed of God which he hath been pleased to plant in your Neighborhood I remain your affectionate Kinsman and Brother in Christ c. 1682. To B. D. N o 130. I Received yours from Tunbridge Wells c. and I think those who advise you to be as little thoughtful as you can while you drink the Waters do give you friendly Advice It may much concur to your health to be rather chearful than to be serious in the use of them for I know you have that matter within you through the Riches of Grace to render you chearful in the Lord. We must remember our Bodies as well as our Souls are redeemed and the very Body of a Believer is Christ's more than his own and what you do for the support of the meer Body is acceptable to God and especially under that Infirmity which you chiefly went thither for The Lord bless the Means which his Providence hath directed you to and be always with your Spirit c. Speeches and Prayers of Mr. Henry Dorney in his last Sickness from the 11th of March 1682 3. to the 25th of April following when he died being the Seventieth Year of his Age. I Am passing and I long to pass meaning through Death O Faith Faith that would bring down Heaven to Earth and carry the Soul up to Heaven I would willingly go out of Self and place the Soul wholly in God he calls me to come away saying Come up hither To a Friend asking whether Satan troubled him he answered No not at all Christ doth not suffer him so much as to peep in To the same saying What Counsel would you give us His Answer was Give up your selves to God perfectly Walk in the purest strictest closest Converse with him Be in the Life and Power of Holiness and that will Steel the Soul against all Temptations and Difficulties And let things be transacted throughly betwixt God and the Soul as if you were to appear presently at the Bar of Christ And let this be done incessantly To the same again asking Sir God seems to deny his Blessing upon the Means for your Recovery and you are not like to continue long with us He replied Blessed be the Lord Blessed be the Lord It is some Refreshment to me to think that the comfortable Minute of my sliding off is so near at hand The Saints and People of God that ever lived besides Enoch and Elijah pass'd through Death and it is needful it should be so for then all Dirt and Filth will be carried off And to one speaking to him of a good Conscience he said Ah how many are there that are now laying in Matter that will be one day wringing of hands and distress of heart unto them O my unchangeable God blessed be his Name that ever he treated with me and that he gave me time and Grace to transact things betwixt him and me and though now I can do little I am persuaded he loves me because he hath made
me to love him I have received a Sentence of Death in my self and I wholly acquiesce in God's Will therein yet if it please him that I should live any longer I desire it may be with greater Spirituality and more in the Life and Power of Holiness for I would not live one moment longer than that I may signifie something for in the Case I am in I signifie very little I am in Deaths often and which will be the concluding one I know not He farther took occasion to complain of the Formality and unedifying Walk of Christians their not pressing on to spiritual things their not savouring of the things of God when they meet one with another exhorting them that were then present that they would more value Converse with such as are truly Godly For said he if I am of another Country I should value the Society of those of the same Country As when I was in France when I saw an English Man I presently fell in with him and was glad to discourse him of the things relating to our own Country Now those that obey the high Gospel-Call they enter into another Country out of the Power of Satan into Christ's Kingdom and their Converse should be with respect to their glorious Country and that there ought to be open-heartedness in the Spirit of Grace and a Communication of some good thing when and where-ever they meet with each other And with respect to a particular Congregation he prayed for them viz. The Lord keep them in the Faith of the Gospel and in a mighty Union one with another and that they may have God's Appearance in his own Power to keep that Limb of Christ alive saved from Division and Pollution have Wisdom and Truth in the inward parts that they may be a sweet Bundle unto God c. March 16. To one that came to visit him he began to weep but presently checked himself saying These are not the Tears of Grief but of Weakness and Debility or rather Tears of Joy I am very sick but I have no sorrow I would be uncloathed that I might be cloathed upon that Mortality might be swallowed up of Life And Oh that it might be now now March 17. To one saying to him Sir you are going to Heaven before us which will be your gain but our loss He responded If my gain thereby were not a thousand times more than your loss it were an inconsiderable thing the Change which the Scripture speaks of but however My God will supply all your needs Phil. 4. 19. He further said I am as a Traveller that sees my Home a little before me which makes my Evening a sweet Morning to me To one taking leave of him he said The Lord's Blessing be upon you we here take leave one of another but shortly there will be no more taking leaves and the next Visit on the other side of the Voyage will be with another kind of Lustre March 19. He desired that Job 14 ch and Isa 32 ch might be read to him which being done he said I am going toward the Bars of Death blessed be the Lord yet a little while c. And demanding what of the Clock it was It being told him said How slow do the hours pass I speak as one that would fain have time to pass I would fly out of Time And to another speaking of the Joys of Heaven he was drawing near unto he said I would be in them I would be in them To a Friend that was to watch with him that night he said You are come to give me your helping hand your Christian hand at the going over the last Style I thank you I know that there is a Glory that will follow this Darkness March 20. He then spake saying The Grave is ready for me and I for it blessed be God and Oh with what welcome is it to me How do I delight in it Oh the General Assembly and Church of the First-born which are written in Heaven and God the Judge of all and the Spirits of Just Men made persect that I am going to be with Christ hath stopp'd the Mouth of the roaring Adversary meaning Satan that he doth not encumber me in the least and though I have the same matter within me as others have yet Christ holds him fast that he hath no power at all to trouble me March 21. Speaking to a Friend he said I am like one hurrying towards the Head-Quarters I long vehemently to be gone out of this present state and that God would say unto me Come away Come away Come up hither March 22. In the Morning he desired Joh. 3 ch to be read and at those words concerning the Change of a new born Soul he said There lies the Touch. And at the two last verses he said There is the Clinch After that he proceeded to speak to this effect viz. Ever since the Lord in his free Grace took hold of my heart I have had a sincere Reach after him and a Love to him and I have not dallied with him I have in some measure walked before him in truth now these scores of years and he hath made me to find no ease nor to take any rest any where but in himself and in being near to him and what I have done all along hath been in truth and with an upright heart God and I we were both agreed he mine and I his his Concerns I took to be my Concerns and mine were his and I could never take Content in any thing but in him I could get no comfort in any Duty in any Prayer in any Ordinance but in getting nigh to him in resigning up my self to him in closing with him and in having my Soul brought over to his Will March 24. He said I know the Lord minds me I can do but little but yet I love him 1683. March 26. He said What a poor pitiful thing is a dying Creature There is no Death in dying one good lift would set me free from all March 27. Then he said I am useless as one out of the World I cannot manage thoughts March 31. Finding himself very weak he spake saying Thus a poor Life expires blessed be God I am as an Hireling drawing towards the Evening of the day What shall I say When when when when With his eyes looking upwards April 3. He said thus I have layen so many days and so many nights and the days have been even as nights to a poor dead thing but I believe all is in love in tender love I have been taught in the Gospel God's free Grace in Christ and I fasten and cling on that which is all I can do I languish in pain here are all the tokens of a Dissolution and yet no Dissolution and how long the Lord may continue me thus I know not but the Lord is wise To some Friends near him he said I desire you to pray to the Lord for me that he would
glorious both in Qualification and Action and those that are improper Instruments that are not Instruments of thy delight cause them to do thy Will for all that work that is proper for them and proper to be used upon thy People for the intents of thy Glory towards them so that the Work of God may thrive in the World and thy Glory be mightily exalted O thy Majesty thy Kingdom thy Greatness and Excellency Oh that thou wouldst be wonderfully glorious in thy Actings Thy Nature is so and thy Actings do proceed from infinite Excellency and Glory Oh let God be glorified Oh let God be glorified And now thou hast brought me and others forth at the Close of the World we lay asleep in silence we were not formed in the Womb till of late and much of the great Volume of the World thou hadst past away before we saw it and now we come at the Close into the World a while that we may stand in our Lots and appear to be the Tokens of thy Remembrance of us before the Volumes of many Generations Now thou hast me upon the Stage and hast had me long and now thou seemest to be taking me hence O Lord thousands of Kindnesses I have had from thee and thou hast not had from me any suitable Thanks O Lord take me out of this Body send me into the Land of Truth where there is nothing but Purity Holiness and Righteousness Sometimes I begin a little to be amazed at my unsuitable Actings towards thee in the day of Grace But Lord thou wouldst carry things so that I might know my Case saved indeed The best of all good things thou hast given me and thou hast preserved me whole but alas I must travel all the way with a dead Carcase and be within the scent the stench of it Ah woful Savour And this hath made grievous Spoil Thou savest me and yet I carry that along with me that is my constant Destruction as a continual Combatant till I see thy Salvation Thou lovest me all over and hatest the least Sin that is in me all over And now Lord thou comest to shew me what the Issue of these things are Little thou shewest me yet that little is glorious Oh for the Son of God to come into the World to be joyned to me in the nearest Conjunction to assume the same Nature and to unite me to himself that he might display the insuperable Power of his own Righteousness for my Righteousness for my Justification We have reason to think the Heavens will declare it even this to an Eternity and this is past upon me I can hardly endure a little at a Dissolution But O the power the strength the greatness of this great Glory things out of my sight and but a little before me Oh what are they and where are they that have the whole Shine of the Grace of the Gospel upon them Where they are thou knowest and every one of thy number shall know they are not lost they are treasured up Lord help me throughout this little Period of Suffering Here I am seeming to me to be just taking leave of this poor Body that hath been wandring up and down some Years Dear God wilt thou be pleased to help me Thou helpedst me all along now help me that I may have such thoughts as becomes an Heir of Life that my Faith may not fail that my Soul may not be desolate that my Mind may not be dark Lord save me from the wonted Assaults of Satan now I know not for how many days or how many nights thou hast designed me Dear Lord let me have thy special Presence with me and a heart formed to thy Contrivance and let me not contrive for my self I know not the effects of this night If I shall period my days this night let it be in Divine Rest I have no other Period but to be in God to be in Christ There is no Issue of this Conflict but to overcome by the Blood of the Lamb. Now I leave my self with thee be with me and be with all thy dear Zion Be with that beloved Spouze whom thou hast redeemed from the Earth and this by means of the Contrivance of thy Grace in Christ who lives and will live and is the beginning of the Creation of God and was ever so There is a Promise of Truth fulfil it O true God My People shall be all holy verifie it O God verifie thine own Truth thy Word hath said it My People shall be all holy Lord thou hast a People thou hast sure a People and thy People thou hast said shall be known or else there would be no discovery of thy Truth in Promises of thy Truth in Threatnings And O Lord this thou hast said that there is the greatest difference between thy People and their Concerns and others that ever was Thou wilt be known in Jacob Now Lord be thou pleased to make it known that we are thine and let it be made known to all We were tricked and beguiled away from thee at first but now we are grafted into Life by that that was not a Slight but a Reallity the mightiest Reality that ever Sun Moon and Stars saw that ever Angels saw that is the thing I yearn towards I rest me in God here a little while I am in the Spirit waiting minutely momently when he will say Come and retire to be with me eternally Oh that I should see the Door a little aslope a little ajar he hath promised it no where as I know but in a way of opening yea wide open to give Deliverance because his very heart is in it With him are no half-opened Doors nor half-hearted Entertainment Yet a little while and we shall say that Fulness is come and the Compleatment of all All Israel shall be saved and that will come on creeping apace now now it is coming to me Oh now let there be no blind Child of God Oh now no lazy Child of God Oh now for winged Saints Oh for those that mount and soar that may answer what hath been promised in the Book of the Revelation The Spirit will have a time to do it when Sloth shall be by the Spirit of Life turned into Industry when the Love of God shall be seven times more when the Glory of Christ's Image shall be as when the Sun shineth seven times brighter Will God always be scarcely known in the Earth Will the God of all that Grace that shines in Men be himself obscured No no. How kind is he to poor Sinners in this dim state He longs to be glorified and to glorifie himself and his Children shall be like their high Calling And Oh that this might make my Soul insatiably longing for this Purity in its fulness I adore him for any little Thirst O the good time when the Heavens shall shrill with the Voices of all the Redeemed Hearts and Tongues O the Melody when every redeemed Tongue shall