defilements and taken out her stains and have decked her with his Jewels and put on her Wedding Garment That Day is coming O my soul when will the shaddows flee away when will Days and Nights be all at an end when will time be spent when shall the Curtain be drawn O that that 's the place thou shalt then love that precious Jesus with a Seraphick and Angel-like love thou wilt then as much delight and rejoyce in him as Abraham David and Paul did Thy drowsie Soul shall be as nimble and active in the service of thy great Maker as Enoch and Elias thou shalt praise him Day and Night and be no more weary than the Angels themselves thou shalt perfectly understand the vvill of God and readily obey it thou shalt be holy as God is holy And what vvould you now give for such a frame hovv glad vvould you be to feel a connaturality to divine imployments hovv happy vvould you think your selves if your heart vvere alvvayes as God vvould have it Is it not for this that you fast and pray Is it not for this that you hear read and meditate Is not this the end of Sacraments Well be of good cheer in Mount Zion there shall be deliverance and holiness Obed. 17. And is all this nothing seemeth it still a small priviledge to be a Child of God and like our Father vvho that understands this vvould not bid Death vvelcome and say novv Grave do thy vvorst Ask Paul and he vvill tell you that upon this account he groans enquire of David and he vvill let you understand that he never expects satisfaction till he avvake vvith God's likeness Psal 17. 3. Another thing vvherein the blessedness of a Christian at Death lyes is this the sight of Christ What can be more desired by a Child of God than to behold and enjoy him by vvhom all the mercies we have and all that we expect slow in to us Eph. 1.11 That good old Saint Luk. 2.30 thought it a Heaven upon Earth to see him though his Majesty was vailed and the brightness of his glory wrapped up and covered by his humanity he doth sing a Requiem to his Soul and say Now let thy Servant depart in peace for mine Eyes have seen thy Salvation How were Peter James and John affected at his transfiguration Mat. 17 2. What an admirable frame doth the Spouse seem to be in when she saw only the shadow and back-parts of this beloved one Cant. 5.16 She can't tell when to have done commending of him But all this is but a small thing compared to the sight which they shall see when their graces shall be compleat and their Soul like him and then shall they behold the King in his beauty no longer the contempt and scorn of the World no longer in poverty and want no longer crucified and rejected but Jesus the express Image of his Father and the brightness of his glory accompanyed with Millions of Angels all at his command and yet for all this casting a gracious Eye upon them then shall the Soul behold him face to face who did and suffered such wonderful things for it 't was he that came out of his Fathers bosome 't was he that stept out of his Throne and put off his Robes that came leaping over the Mountains and skipping over the Hills running thorow a thousand difficulties that he might pluck thee out of thy misery and deliver thee out of the paw of the Lyon and the Bear that he might redeem thee from the power of Sin Death and Hell How will the Heavens eccho with Songs of joy when the Bride the Lamb's Wife shall come to dwell with her Husband for ever Isay 33.17 Christ is the desire of Nations the joy of Angels the delight of the Father and he in whom he is well pleased What solace then must that Soul be filled with that hath the possession of him to all Eternity Is not his love better than wine and a look of his countenance to be preferred before Corn and Oyl Is not his kindness to be valued above life it self What meanest thou then O my Soul that thou dost so dread his coming Why art thou so loath to be with him Why art thou afraid of the enjoyment of him Will thy Redeemer make thee a slave hath Heaven changed his Nature and made him less desirable Will thy Saviour make thee miserable Awake then O ye Saints and stand a tip-toe wait watch and long till thou see him who alone can fill thy Soul fight strive and run till you enjoy One smile of his one look of his love is worth the pleasures of ten Worlds where is thy heart where are thy desires what 's become of thy love if Christ doth not affect draw and fire thee what will but when thou shalt see Christ indeed his very looks will so warm thy Soul that thou shalt in a moment feel a divine flame which shall never be extinguished as long as Christ the object of thy love shall live the sight of Christ will put new life into thy Soul and make thy love and joy fresh for ever this is he O my Soul that was wounded that thou mightest be healed this is he who was Crowned vvith Thorns that thou mightest be Crovvned vvith Glory this this is he that dyed that thou mightest live Is not all the Glory of Heaven vvrapped up in him Are not the Treasures of divine kindness which vvere sometimes hid in him novv opened Tell me now O my soul is there any in tvvo Worlds comparable to him Was not that he that sheltered thee from the storms of God's vvrath Was not that precious Body the Shield vvhich blunted the Svvord of Justice and kept the Arrovves of the Almighty from doing dreadful execution upon thee an Enemy Traytor and Rebel Was it not he that laid dovvn the price that bought thy pardon that purchased this Inheritance vvas it not he that fed thee vvith his Body that broached his heart blood to quench the thirst of thy Soul the lusts of thy heart and the flames of God's indignation Look upon him is he not made up of love I see now it is not for nothing that the Virgins did love him it was not vvithout good reason that the Spouse vvas sick it vvas not vvithout very good cause that the Saints did so long to be vvith him to be with him did I say vvho that hears of him can choose but vvish to see him vvho that sees him can live without him who that lives vvith him can leave him What mean the World Sure they are dead blind or mad but vvhere am I now This is a subject so svveet that I can't tell hovv to make an end O that I might see knovv and enjoy look dear Jesus upon me and let me go and tell the World thy beauties let me every day have a little sight of thee that I may commend thee a thousand times more feelingly and that I may
were like to make a seperation between Christ and thee I should then be far from blaming these thy fears but I should rather wonder that they are not a thousand times greater But me-thinks a Soul that hath had many a sweet kiss from Christ that understands what he is worth and that hath some good reason to say my beloved is mine and I am his me-thinks I say such a one should not desire that the Day of Marriage should be protracted Sure were this but cleared it were nothing to dye but life it self would be as considerable an exercise of patience as any thing in the World let me therefore again expostulate the case with thee and do what I can to shake off those unwarrantable fears What is it that you are so much afraid of Is it of pains why when you are dead you will feel none they be the living which feel pains and I believe there are few living but at one time or other feel as much pain as some do in their death and if their pains be acute they are like to be short and if they be not acute they may be the more easily born Are you loath to leave your friends I hope God's Saints and Angels are other guess friends than any you have here You have a fine House and sweet conveniences alas 't is but a Hog-sty or a Dunghil if compared with Heaven But how shall I do for my Children what will become of them when I am dead and gone Why do you make nothing of God's promise Is not he a Father to the Fatherless And is it not his command that we should leave our Fatherless Children with him Can't God take as good care of them as you O but the Grave is a doleful place and who can think with any comfort of being nail'd up in a Coffin and covered over with Earth and of rotting under ground Why Man is the Resurrection no comfort to thee if there were no such thing this arguing were the more excusable who are you I pray that you should be priviledged above all the Kings and Monarcks since the beginning of the World which of them have secured themselves from the power of Death which of them could retain their breath a moment when Death had received his Commission to stop it Are you better than Abraham Isaac and Jacob did not David see corruption and the Fathers where are they nay did not Christ dye and dye so bitter a death as I believe never any from the foundation of the World ever did Must God make thee the third that must be singled out from Man-kind to be translated to Glory do you walk as Enock and Elias did and if you do I know you would then be so humble not to expect this prerogative and so full of love to God as to be contented to die if it were a hundred deaths so you might but enjoy him for ever And what say you now is there not a root of unbelief at the bottom is there not something of Atheism in this hath not the world a prevailing interest in your affections do you think you have not had time enough yet to sin would you sain displease God a little more do you imagine that you have not sufficiently abused his goodness if not what is the matter O I want Assurance did I but know that I am indeed reconciled to God then O then I could die as willingly as sleep The truth of it is there can be no other reason that can bear any great weight except this and a desire to glorifie God more in bringing in souls to him As for this latter I wave it few of my hearers being so much concerned in that as Ministers are but as for the former I would upon this account put you upon the most speedy and serious diligence in this work I believe the Apostle had some reason on his side when he did so earnestly perswade the people of God to use all diligence to make their Calling and Election sure and to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling Why then should not every Christian without delay set upon this And then the next news we should hear would be Come Lord Jesus why are thy Chariot wheels so long a coming O that I might but come to eternal life though thorough the valley of the shadow of death 'T is our trifling with God that makes the thoughts of our appearing before him to be so dreadful Our formality deadness and coldness our worldly mindedness and laziness doth us a world of injury This this disturbeth our peace this strengthens Satan and blurs our evidences and makes us go desponding into another world and this brings me to the next Use USE 5 Is it so that they are blessed that die in the Lord c. be hence exhorted to live so as that you may die in the Lord. Will you take so much pains for a little gains in this life and will you take none at all for eternal blessings How many hazardous voyages have some of you made to Ginnee and the East Indies to get Gold and Spices how many terrible storms have you been in and what inconceivable hazards have you run that you might enjoy your selves in age and have something to carry you comfortably and decently to your graves O why should you not be as solicitous in your soul concerns Remember my dear friends that you are bound for another world and you must ere long sail into the Ocean of eternity Consider what your laiding is and whether it will return to any account when you come home to your great Owner Methinks you of all men should think Grace the best commodity and Christianity the best trade and the securing of everlasting happiness the greatest wisdom How can you live within a few inches of death and look the King of terrours in the face every day without some well-grounded evidences of your interest in Gods love O who would not labour to get out of danger who would not think it a blessed estate to be beyond fears who can take it to be an unnecessary work to secure a soul is not this the one thing needful what should a man get if he should gain the whole world and lose his own soul and what shall a man give in exchange for his soul But you Professors above all it concerns you to make as sure as can be possible of something better than you can have here below What a lamentable thing would it be for you to undergo so many reproaches for Christs sake to venture your liberties and to hazard your estates and after all to be left in woful uncertainties It would be a dreadful thing to lose the comforts of both worlds O make sure work your pains and cost here will pay its own charges be not daunted 't is a thing hath been done what do you say will you take some pains in the examining of your heart will you
the latter end of my Book of Acquaintance with God which is now reprinted at present my advice shall be that you would follow them who thorow faith and patience are the inheriters of the promise and propose to your selves the examples of the most eminent Christians such as this precious young mans whose Funeral Rites we are now solemnizing and because examples are very cogent and affect most more than precepts I shall present you with an account of some of this holy young mans practices and experiences Take them therefore as I have gathered them by my own experience and intimate knowledge of him and as I have collected them out of many sheets of his own writings But let it not be thought I beseech you that out of custom or flattery I speak such Funeral Commendations were he but a Common Christian I would have sorbâ—rn speaking any thing of this nature for sear of hardening sinners I must deal plainly I abho that cursed flattery in commending all that are buried as if to die and to go to Heaven were all one I know many rotten posts are guilded many Sepulchres that are full of bones and putrified flesh are painted and many Professors are extolled at their death who did no good whâ—le they lived except it were the giving some pitâ—ful pittance to the poor when they could keep it no longer I question not but that thousands are praised upon earth that are condemned in Heaven and many applauded for Saints that will be found among the Devils and damned Expect it not therefore as a thing like to be usual with me to commend dead persons As I would judge none so I dare commend but few This only by way of Apology I shall come to the thing promised to propose some imitable passages of the life of T. M. 1. First He began to â—ook Heaven ward betimes he was made to remember his Creatour in the daies of his youth his first convâ—ctions were at about twelve years old but they had no abiding impression upon him the great work was begun to purpose between sevenâ—een and eighteen I shall be the more brief here because you have the account more full from his own hand The change that was wrought upon him did express more of the power of God and the riches of his grace than ordinary The Lord made his work upon him very clear and distinct for he broke in upon his soul like an armed man and shook him terribly â—veâ— Hell and the â—â—rrâ—urs of God set themselves â—n array against him and the poison of his arrows drank up his spirits sin did appear in its colour to him â—s ugly as the devil and as dreadful as Hell it self so that the foundation was laid in very deep huâ—â—â—lity O then how frightful a thing was sin yea his beloved sin the sin of gaming was made most loathsome and abominable so that for that he loathed himself in dust ashes and looked upon himself as unworthy to tread upon Gods ground and had not God ordered it so as that the first Sermon he heard after this great conviction was upon that Scripture 1 Tim. 1.15 he had even fallen into despair but the thoughts of Gods having mercy upon the chiefest of sinners did a little support his soul and gave him hopes of a possibility of being saved 2. This put him upon strong groans and prayers that the Lord would pitty him as ever he would pitty any poor creature in the World O that he would pitty him hast thou not a blessing for me O God even for me what shall I do now I am without God Christ or Grace my condition is such I cannot bear it who can be contented to be damned O pitty me pitty me dear Lord I cannot tell what in the world to do mercy mercy mercy or I am lost mercy speedily or I am lost for ever And so he continued in a way of duty reading and praying and inquiring and resolving thus to do all his dayes and now farewell wicked company farewell sports and vanity and idleness the great business of minding his soul now swallows him up and after a while he hath a little more peace than he had but upon further enquiry and waiting upon the means he was convinced thaâ— all this would not do without the Righteousness oâ— Christ And this brings me to the next thing 3. He was deeply convinced of the absolute necessity and excellency of Christ and brought oâ— from his own righteousness to high prizingâ— and admirings of Christ take his own words And is it true indeed hath Christ done and suffered such things for thee O my poor sinful vile odious polluted soul and what wilt not thou love him now Oh think a little what put him upon aâ— this was it any self interest is he any gainer by thee he got nothing but grief pain and death O my soul it was free pure and undeniable love that caused him to do and suffer what he did consider again O my soul what cause was there that he should make thee a partaker of the benefit of his blood what wast thou Oh a motâ— loathsome sinner and what wilt thou not yet love him O Lord I am ashamed of my own heart that I cannot raise it to the highest pitch oâ— admiration of that infinite boundless love Oâ— love love love O that I could love thee O Lord I would fain be sick of love O that I could dyâ— sick of love to thee O that I could feel thee warming my heart with that quickning blood which thou sheddedst upon the Cross O what love is like to that O my soul it was shed for thee who was an enemy a rebel a despiser of Christ awake O blessed spirit and blow upon my soul and kindle a fire which may burn with love to Christ to all Eternity Amen Amen 4. He did upon this in a serious and solemn manner give up himself to the Lord in a Covenant I shall not repeat the words of this Covenant because they are taken verbatim out of my book of Acquaintance with God and he subâ—cribed his name to it and kept it as a witness before the Lord and to quicken his own soul to a â—ore close walking with God according to the Arâ—â—cles of that Covenant 5. After he was gone thus far his bowels began â—o yern over his Christless friends some of which I perceive by his letters began to abuse him for his seriousness and to deride his strictness and jeer at his holiness shall I give you a taste of his spirit I cannot do it in warmer words than his own which are as followeth Yours I received but whether I dare to thank you for it I know not for truly I cannot express the trouble that hath since seised upon my spirit Oh poor soul what shall I say unto thee Oh my bowels my bowels they yern towards thee I am pained yea I am pained while I think upon thy condition what shall I
my heart at that time was so desperately wicked that doubtless had not an Almighty Power pittied me I should even have pawned my soul for the obtaining of what I then desired then in a passion I made a presumptuous vow that I would leave off that sport for one year this was about November or December which for a little time I kept and now observe the great subtilty of the Devil in this particular for no sooner was it the first day of January but presently I was told that my vow was out of date and that it signified nothing and they being my carnal friends that told me I was willing to make my conscience submit so that I soon embraced my old sport again and did plainly lay my self open to the wrath of God for such a great sin yet I could not so much charm my conscience but it would often accuse me for it but it was not many weeks after but I engaged as deeply in the same sin of gaming as before and now hear and admire for even now will appear such love as never any was ever sensible of but such as have felt it having been at the losing hand the season of the night calling me away I left off but much troubled and about five in the morning I awakened and then there was a pleasant lightness upon my spirit as if it had been refreshed after great trouble what this meant I could not tell yet could not but take special notice of it that I who went to bed much dissatisfied and perplexed should when I awaked seem to be so much comforted and my sleep for a little time departed from me and certainly I had some deep thoughts which now I cannot remember but the result of them came to this I did then engage my self by a fresh vow that the next morning I would play so as to venture about two shillings and if I lost that then not to play any more for such a certain time and to my best remembrance for as I would not add so I would not diminish and so rob God of his glory and my poor soul of comfort I did at that time lift up my heart to God but with what affections I cannot tell I hope not without great shame to crave his aid that I might be enabled to keep my great vow and so when the time came that I was to venture my mony which I thought very long with great chearfulness I went to play being very willing and I think desirous to lose which was soon accomplished according to my hopes which when it was ended I cannot say what I thought or how my heart worked but as I think that very day my heart was somewhat troubled by what follows for I having lost a great part of that in which my heart so much delighted and idolized as its God and rested in as its ultimate end I could not find rest in it as formerly and so being much troubled I went to peruse some toyes that I had by me and amongst them there was one Jewel which the Lord was pleased to put into my hand which was a Book intituled The Crumbs of Comfort the which when I felt my heart somewhat inclined to peruse I was much perplexed within my self and could not but wonder what manner of salutation this should be and now I hope I have great cause to acknowledge that the hand of God was in all this but I will not on this account any waies turn aside but go on as my own heart and conscience now witnesseth to me and I hope the Spirit of God likewise and so very desirous I was to know the meaning of this dark providence as then it appeared to me to be that more or less for two daies together I often perused more of the Book but my heart was little affected to any particular thing and yet I was troubled more and more within me and could find no rest for my poor soul and in less than a weeks time I think about the end of two or three daies the more I read I began to have more deep thoughts and heart amazing considerations which began to make me exceedingly troubled and much cast down about the state and condition of my poor captive soul which as I told you before was almost sunk into the bottom of the bottomless Sea of Gods wrath from which there is no redemption with the weight of its insupportable sins And now what the chief actings of my soul were I cannot tell but sure I am that my trouble did increase yet more and more and I hope it was for my sins for I do well remember that within very few dayes or rather hours after the sence of my sins came into my mind and the sight of them was so clear and the number of them so numberless and their aggravations so weighty and the nature of them so detestable that what I then felt I cannot now possibly declare Oh where was I certainly had I been surprized with the greatest enemies in the world and my life in the greatest danger I could not have been more troubled and had I been afflicted with all the tortures that man could have devised I should not have been more tormented nay I think if my deceitful heart did not deceive me that had I been in hell amongst those infernal fiends and had heard the yellings and howlings of those damned wretches I think I could not have been much more affrighted for then I did look upon my soul to be within a hairs breadth of Eternal misery and oh the condition I saw my self then in is unutterable had there not been an everlasting arm of power and mercy underneath I should undoubtedly have followed the steps of Cain or Judas but O Blessed and admired be Free Grace and why Me Lord why Me Oh Love Love Love even Love unspeakable yea Love unutterable and further in this my trouble the Lord was so far pleased to pitty and shew mercy to my poor soul that my soul had not very long laboured under this insupportable burthen of her great and mighty sins but I perceived a door of hope as it were unlatched and somewhat open and that if I would but in good earnest turn to God that yet it was not too late and that there was hope in Israel concerning this thing which consideration did not a little comfort my poor soul and then further it pleased the Lord to open my heart to visit one who I thought might do me much good and I judged him fit to be acquainted with my condition in that I hoped he feared the Lord and by the way let me tell you that I did at that time unspeakably love all such even more than my own relations with humility let it be spoken and when I was with him he joyfully received me and declared unto me many comfortable things which through grace did not a little raise my dejected spirit and he then lent me
Death Unstung A SERMON Preached at the Funeral of THOMAS MOWSLEY An Apothecary who died July 1669. With a Brief Narrative of his Life and Death Also the manner of Gods dealings with him before and after his Conversion Drawn up by his own hand and Published By James Janeway Minister of the Gospel O Death where is thy sting Come and hear all ye that fear God and I will declare what he hath done for my soul Psal 66. v. 16. LONDON Printed for Dorman Newman and are to be sold at his shop near the Lame-Hospital in Little-Brittain at the Chyrugions Arms. 1669. TO My Beloved HEARERS Especially Those of the Younger sort Grace and Peace Men Brethren and Fathers GOD that made your souls sets a very high value upon them and Christ that bought them though they cost his heart-blood thought them worth his purchase and that eternal glory or misery that is prepared for souls speaks them not to be inconsiderable Vpon this account it 's impossible that you and I should use too much diligence in the securing these souls for this cause the Ministers of Christ can easily over-look prisons banishment and faggots so that they may but be instrumental for the saving of souls and delivering them from the wrath to come This I hope is the ground that I am carrying on in this ensuing Discourse This may speak when I may not when I cannot I might give many reasons of my appearing thus in print I might tell the world of the desires of many that by reason of the multitude could only see but not hear I might speak of the want of time to deliver the fourth Part of what is here presented to you I might tell you of the importunity of some of the young men that would gladly write after this Coppy But I must profess all this would have signified little with me did I not find by that account which some give of the work of grace upon their hearts that the Lord hath owned my poor papers formerly Among others that poor penitent Murtherer Thomas Savage which makes me not without hope that the same Spirit which breathed life into my other Writings may please also to give a blessing to these I will not stand now to answer the Objections that may be made against the Publication of this Sermon I never met with this that it is impossible that it should be subservient to the salvation of a soul and therefore I think the cost answerable I must confess had it not been for a necessary Caution or two I should have eased you of the trouble of reading and my self of writing this Epistle The first is this Be not offended if you find in the Young Mans Evidences some expressions that may sound somewhat harsh and some tautologies remember that they are word for word from his own papers as he wrote them hastily consider also that he was but young and a servant too so that it seems almost incredible that one that had so much business should be able to redeem so much time as to do what he did of this nature Secondly I would it might be a little considered what a hurry I was in when this task was laid upon me and how little time to peruse my own Coppy I beg you therefore candidly to over-look many mistakes As for you my dear friends I suppose a pardon is easily granted As for others scorn not holiness contemn not the future blessedness and make sure of happiness in the life to come and then I can easily bear your slighting of me Young Men I may be bold with you I charge you as you value the comforts of another life forget not what an excellent example this precious Brother of yours gave you Read this ensuing Discourse with seriousnesness and let it be read again in your lives Brethren you are my Joy and Crown and if you stand fast I live O make not my boasting void How can I bear to think that any of you should perish For Gods sake and for your souls sake falsifie that Proverb A Young Saint and an Old Devil Brethren my hearts desire is that I may see you all with that blessed Saint at the right hand of Christ Remember your sands run apace and you are hasting into Eternity O make sure of that which will stand you in some stead when you die O secure somewhat to live comfortably upon in another world let your lives bespeak you persons resolved for Christ and Heaven upon any terms Let your loyns be alwaies girt and your lamps be burning Whatch ye be strong quit you like men Remember Christ Heaven and Glory are before you Sit not still till you are safe in the bosom of Christ Consider that many set out fair and look as if they were bound for Zion and yet founder in the way I say again make sure Sirs I expect ere long to pass upon Eternity let me beg of you as you hope for our good meeting in another world that you make Religion your business and labour to get every day nearer Heaven Endeavour not only to be Christians but solid experienced and examplary Christians that so you may prove the glory of your generation the credit of Religion and the Joy of gray-headed Saints Sirs you are now my hope your-your-love zeal and union my comfort go but on at this rate and you are made for ever Know this now the eyes of the world will be upon you nay that which is more the eye of God is upon you and will take notice how you improve such a Providence as this I beseech you look about and let the world understand that you are not nominal Christians but real Saints Will any of you send me sorrowing into the grave shall I lose my hopes and comforts and you your souls can you easily forget what was the practice of this Young Man do you remember what was the usual subject of his discourse did you not observe how holily meekly and diligently he served his great Master is there no weight in a Crown of Glory is there no desireableness in happiness is it a small thing to live in the society of God Saints and Angels I am perswaded you think these things considerable Well then act as persons that long for possession which that all of you may enjoy is and shall be the prayer of one that desires not to count his life dear so he may but finish his course with joy and meet you with comfort hereafter James Janeway July 28. 1669. Death Vnstung A Funeral SERMON Rev. 14.13 And I heard a Voice from Heaven saying unto me write blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from hence-forth yea saith the Spirit that they may rest from their Labours and their Works do follow them IT is none of the least works of a Minister of Christ to disparage sin and incourage holiness to set Life and death before our People and to present as much as in us lies
none but Christ none but Christ He is altogether lovely He is now quite out of love with himself neither his righteousness nor any thing is lovely now but Christ and will not that Soul be blessed when it comes to have its desires accomplished he that counts nothing worth the having except Christ and for Christ can't be miserable when he is lodged safe in his imbraces 6. He that makes it his business to live to Christ to him to dye shall be gain God is often times better but never worse than his word And hath he not made many promises to them that diligently seek him Hath he not said that their labours shall not be in vain in the Lord The Christian is running and he shall at last obtain the Prize the Crown he fights for he shall have fear not Christian quit thy self bravely win it and wear it what though it be wrapped up in Cypress its beauty shall not be Vailed long What though Death with his cold and dirty hand set it upon thy head it will sit as neat and as fast as an Almighty hand can make it What though the Vessel be tost and broke it shall come safe with its Rich Lading to the desired Haâ—bâ—ur Condemn not O you foolish World these spiritual Merchants till you know what their returns are when their burden is deliver'd but imitate them till you can finde a more glorious Prize than Heaven a better happiness than God can give and a Kingdom that will last longer than Eternity Psal 63.8 Psal 90.14 7. They which are willing if called to it to do or suffer any thing for Christ shall inherit this blessedness He that is willing to dye for Christ shall live as long as Christ lives in happiness and rest 't is not for nothing that Paul makes no great matter of bonds scorns at threatnings and triumpheth in danger the finishing his course with joy makes all go down sweetly Acts 20.24 The Primitive Christians were no Stoicks and yet with what patience gratitude and joy did they suffer what the malice and wit of Men and Devils could inflict and now they enjoy the fruit of their labours the salvation of their Souls and that is not all but they receive their Palms Robes and Crowns ye more peculiar badges of God's Champions Loe thus shall it be done to the Persons whom the Lord delighteth to honour This 't is to be imprisoned banished or dye for Christ Rejoyce O ye suffering Saints and be exceeding glad for great is your reward in Heaven to you it is given not only to believe but also to suffer this Fire is but to purifie and to make you Vessels more fit for your Masters use this dirt cast upon you is but to scower and make you more clean this knocking rubbing and hewing is but to furbish and polish you that you may be more stately Pillars in the Temple of your God Fear not Men nor Devils the greatest hurt that they do you is to fill your Sailes and to bring you more speedily to your Port. 8. They which long for the coming of Christ and their being with him that can say I have waited for thy salvation O God now let thy Servant depart in peace In a word that can bear their absence from Christ only upon those terms that they may bring honour to him in this life and perswade Souls to be in love with him and may be instrumental for the setting up his Kingdom shaking the Kingdom of Sathan and weakning the interest of Hell in the World These O these are your brave Souls that are out of Gun-shot Death can neyer surprize them they stand always with their Loines girt and their Lamps burning And if the Bridegroom should make the Mountains to quake with the ratling of his Charriots and the Hills to tremble at the presence of his Majesty and the Heavens themselves to shrivel into nothing by the glory of his coming yet they O blessed Souls and they only would break forth into a Song of Triumph and Eternal Hallelujâ—hs Who would not be a Saint sure none but a mad-man or a fool Do the World understand what these things mean Do they indeed believe how much the highest of them all are below the meanest and lowest Childe of God Thus I have shown you who are the Subjects of this blessedness I know I forget time but it goes well may you and I get but this blessedness secured and spend a happy Eternity The second thing that I proposed to speak to was to prove that such as these are in spight of Hell shall be blessed and because in the fore going discourse this hath been touched upon I shall but very briefly run over these things First God saith they shall be blessed and therefore they shall when the great Persecutors have been hunting for their prey and hope to roast what they have got and seed themselves with the hopes of the content and pleasure that they shall enjoy nay when they shall beg with tears for the blessing they shall be frustrated denyed cursed and hear that heart-rending reply they have gotten the blessing before you came 't is now too late yea and they shall be blessed Might I not heap up a World of promises the least of which clear a Saints title to this blessed inheritance time would fail me if I should but read one in Forty what is the meaning of that Es 57.2 Phil. 1.21 2 Cor. 5.1 Job 3.17 2. They feel somewhat of this happiness in this World therefore they shall have it compleated in another How oft do the Saints feel their Souls transported with the sense of divine pleasures How many earnests do they receive of the purchased possessions How many warm refreshing Raies of Divine love break in upon their Soul so that they would not exchange one Hours comfort for all the joys that ever the wicked enjoyed could they all be united in one and their duration be Eternal Have I not with much comfort seen some of those triumphing Saints rejoycing when others would have mourned Have I not heard them talk of their sweet experiences the very mention of which is more reviving to a spiritual hearer than the highest pleasures that the sensualist is capable of Sometimes in prayer their souls even get into the bosom of God and the great God and Man have a blessed intercourse the Soul lets out it self to God and God lets out his love to the Soul Sometimes in a meditation the Heart is glowing and the Fire burns and ere it is aware it is lifted above the World yea and above it self too What else is this but the clear demonstration of the reality of invisibles Can meer fancies thus transport Men Must they not believe their own experiences Can that joy which is the result of faith and love and comes in from the promises and that in a way of duty and close walking with God Can that be a delusion Will the spirit of truth
crazâ— Bodies that needed to be propped up by Aâ—â— have now no need of such helps the lame shaâ—â— leap the blinde see the weak shall be strong thâ— crooked strait they which were in deaths oft shaâ—â— be never in danger O happy alteration thâ— Grave will refine and alter our Bodies and theâ— shall there bury all imperfections and this mortâ— shall put on immortality and this corruptible incorruption There the weary shall be at rest Esa 61.3 33.24 60.18 Job 3.17 5. The blessedness of the deceased Saints consisteâ—h in their perfect freedome from all wants and fear of want Here they have their daily want and in the sweat of their brows they must eat their Bread The World in its best estate is made up of vanities and troubles How much need have we of the help of our fellow-creatures we can't live without the use of their bodies and lives we want their service to till our Grounds and to carry our weak Bodyes that can sometimes scarce go under their own burden What shift could we make if the influences of the Sun Moon and Stars were suspended what lamentable complaint should we make if God should seal up the Fountains of Water how soon should we faint if he should make the Heavens as Iron and the Earth as brass What Element can we want what Creature could we well spare But the time is coming that Day will shortly begin whose brightness will make the Sun dark and the Moon to disappear and all the Stars to leave their Spheres as useless O unbelief how miserably dost thou rob us of the comforts which the very fore-thoughts of that hour might bring in Dwell O my trembling Soul upon the Meditation of these things Is there no truth nor weight in â—hose Scriptures Es 60.19 Es 21.29 Give in thy Answer Why then art thou cast down O my soul and why art thou disquieted within me Wait upon the Lord and be of good courage wait I say upon the Lord. 6. This happy Man shall be quite freed of whatsoever may argue an imperfect state Some of those very graces that are now so useful and necessary when their work is done shall be laid aside as useless I mean Faith Hope Patience desire all which speak something of imperfection shall then be swallowed up of love They now help to lead the Soul out of Egypt conduct thorow the red Sea and Wilderness and send Spices into Canaan and bring good tidings out of that Land they see Sihon Og and Amaleck discomfitted and their Power broken they go to the Borders of the promised Land nay they get up to Pisga and upon Mount Nebo there they bid the Soul farewell Faith like a skilful Pilot keeps close to the Ship till it see it out of danger Faith like loyal Barzillai brings in abundant provisions for the Soul in all its streights and comes with it to the banks of Jordan to the brink oâ— eternity but there there it takes its final leave and sends over young Chimham to wait upon the King at Jerusalem it sends love over into Heaven tâ— dwell there with the Lord for ever O blessed state when faith shall be swallowed up of sight Here we live by faith and not by sense or sight in glory we shall live by sense and sight and not by faith The shaddow shall vanish when the substance is come hope patience desire and fear shall all pass away and be swallowed up with an eternal fruition possession and security Happy are the People that are in such a case their clouds are quite blown over they need neither Wind or Sails now they are safe landed What think you now of a Child of God is it worth the while to be religious is holiness a folly now and yet this is not all come a little further and I will shew you greater things still All this is buâ— the privative part of their happiness I come now to touch a little upon the positive part but what an Ocean am I now lanching into who can tell all the priviledges of a Citizen of Zion what Pen can describe the honour and dignities of the Sons of God But that I may heighten your spirits and a little antedate your comforts I shall in the next place shew something of the positive part 2. The blessedness of those which dye in the Lord consists positively First in this that they shall enter into the Society of the Angels they shall leave any longer conversing with mortals and instead of weeping friends see themselves compassed with singing Angels How do you think that Lazarus was affected who instead of Beggars Crippels and Dogs had a Guard of Angels waiting upon him What an extasy of joy was he surprized vvith Luk. 16.22 This honour have all the Saints We think the sight of a King the look of a Prince the company of a Lord a great matter what are they it compared with the least of the Captains of the Lord's Host How vast is the difference between Flesh and Spirit and yet this favour the Lord is pleased to confer upon the least of his Children And how glad are the Angels themselves of the society of the poorest Saint they are glad even here to be doing offices of love for them many a danger they delivered them from many a mercy they conveyed from their Father to them but these earthly Bodyes were scarce capable of communications with such noble and spiritual Creatures but at Death they shall know their old friends and fellow-servants and bless God with them and for them for ever Heb. 12.22 And these Chariots and Horsemen of Israel shall carry up Joseph to his Fathers House and there the Sons of God shall shout for joy Time was the sight of an Angel would make a Saint tremble but then it shall make them to Triumph and what stories will they tell them of the providences of God toward them and joyn with them in the high praises of his goodness and love But all this is but little to what follows 2. At Death the souls of believers are made perfect in holiness How will they in a moment see themselves as white as Snow how glorious shall the Kings Daughter be when her beauty is perfect how lovelily will she look when she 's clad with innocent purity how excellent when her royal Husband the Lord Christ shall be infinitely taken with her Will he not then say thou art all fair my love there is no spot in thee Come with me from Lebanon my Spouse with me from Lebanon from the top of Amana from the top of Shenir and Hermon from the Lyons Dens from the Mountains of Leopards Thou hast ravished my heart my Sister my Spouse thou with one Chain of thy Neck How fair is thy love my Sister my Spouse c. Cant. 4.7 8 9 10. If the Lord see so much beauty here in his Church what will he do hereafter when he shall have wash'd away all her
do for thee what shall I say unto thee I could be contented that these lines were writ with my very heart blood so that they might affect thee O I had rather dye than receive another such letter from you I could not relish it it was bitter I could not see the name of dear Jesus in it how can I think of your blind superstition and not mourn and lament over a dead soul you say you are sorry and you are troubled What is the matter are you sorry that I should concern my self about my soul and about yours you would not trouble your self about these things now if not now I pray when will you at the hour of death at the day oâ— Judgement O then it will be too late O now oâ— never delayes are dangerous O Eternity Eternity O where shall yours and my soul dwell tâ— all Eternity Oh either in heaven or in hell either with Christ or devils the soul that siâ— shall dye your debt is great the justice of God must be satisfied and nothing can do it but thâ— blood of Jesus O for this precious Jesus make not light of Christ he is precious he is altogether lovely I would not for ten thousand world quit my share in him and in that which is the matter of your fear you complain that I have leâ—â— the wayes of our fore-fathers I seâ—â— you take the shadow for the substance what 〈◊〉 the Cross in Baptism without the Baptisme 〈◊〉 the spirit what good will the bowing at thâ— name of Jesus do them which persecute him iâ— his members and have him not formed in their hearts O that God would cut asunder your false hopes if Christ were in you yoâ— would rejoyce to think that he hath been aâ— work in my soul was I born with these principles which you read in my last Letters I am surâ— I was once of an other mind than now I am but blessed yea admired be free grace which hath made me to differ from my self and others 〈◊〉 am afraid you understand not my meaning wheâ— I speak of love to God and Regeneration as long as I only concerned my self about the World anâ— not my soul you kindly entertained my letters but no sooner did I speak of repentance and thâ— affairs of our poor never-dying souls but then you are troubled and cannot bear it I tell you I lay dead almost eighteen years and then I had a gracious wound from my dear God which made me cry out where am I I am undone I am undone my sin will damn me O what shall I do for a Christ And at this rate he goes on writing many letters which did all breath a divine spirit 6. He was very spiritual in his discourse and by that he put life into most of them that conversed with him how helpful was he to young Christians how ready to hearten them up in the wayes of God and how able to discover to them the policies of Satan he was scarce in his element but when he was doing or receiving of good he studied Mr. Herbert Palmer's little Book about making Religion ones business and he did in a great measure put it into practice To use his own expressions I did saith he labour to spiritualize common action and to serve God in serving my master with diligence cheerfulness and faithfulness O what resort was there of young ones to him for direction and advice in things which they did not think it so fit to trouble their Pastor with and how did he endeavour to season his fellow servants with grace When he went to any of his Masters Patients how diligent in using of means for their recovery and how careful to drop something that might tend to the health of their souls and as he had opportunity amongst the weaker and poorer sort he would pray with them and O with what vehemency of spirit with what fluency of expression and with what mighty affections would he do it I need not tell some of you how helpfull he hath been to the bodies and souls of the sick and upon this account he looked upon it as a great mercy that the Lord had called him to such an employment wherein he had such singular advantages to deal with poor souls about the affairs of Eternity I question noâ— but there are some standing here that have cause to bless God that ever they saw his face and I believe that some of you that are young and poor will quickly dearly miss him 7. He was exceedingly raised in duty and one that injoyed rare communion intimacy and acquaintance with God and for about five moneths as his own papers shew together he rarely came into the presence of God but he went away with some special tokens of his love so that he said he could have been contented to have left the world at a quarter of an hours warning Hear how his Papers speak My soul continued if my heart do not mightily deceive me in a thriving condition for five moneths O the comforts that I then had they are unspeakable I seldome went to duty but carryed my dear Saviour and brought him away with me every Ordinance was a visit of love my love to Jesus Christ and his members whereever I saw them was not to be expressed what hatred to sin what zeal for Gods glory what yerning of bowels towards poor souls in the state of nature how beautiful were the feet of the Embassadors of peace what a fulness and sweetness did I then see and feel in Christ ever hungring after him and ever satisfied with him and him alone what affections God-ward what despising of visibles what deep apprehensions of the Majesty and Attributes of God how did I walk unweariedly with him how did I rejoyce before him with fear and trust filially in him with trembling O what watchfulness over my thoughts words and actions Indeed I was often assaulted but I had a faithful Centinel which would give warning and admit of none but such as were friends to the Lord Jesus what low thoughts had I of my self and high prizings of a naked Christ Oh Sir in one word I made Religion my business and was taken up with that which concerned the glory of God every grace was at strife which should excell other in its actings I could never go to market but I could experience returns of Grace and Mercy In this I have not varied two words from his own writings in a letter that he gave me wherein he did grievously bewail the least departures of his heart from God as you shall hear in the next 8. He took special notice of his own heart and did mightily bewail any declinings from that vigour that sometimes he had and here I shall again use his words as they follow But this did not continue long it was as a calm before a storm for soon after my time being almost out I began to have some thoughts of my setting up and
was in an extasie of comfort and felt what those joyes unspeakable in believing meant in former times he had great manifestations of Gods love but never any broke into his soul with such power and clear evidence as then he had as it were a prospect of glory and some foretastes of that happiness that was prepared for him before the foundations of the world and O how did his heart even leap within him to think that within a little while he should fully and eternally enjoy what he now had a little glympse of Upon Munday I went to visit him and found him in a very sweet frame so taken up with Heaven that he did even wonder at himself I am saith he so overcome with the love of Christ and the glory of Heaven that all manner of fear is hid from mine eyes and I cannot so much as think of Hell or if I do it is with joy that there is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus but what do you think of these things is it possible that they should be delusions O Sir I beseech you be faithfull to my soul and tell me as you will answer it at the barr of God what you judge of my state I would not for a World be now in a fools Paradice and then he told me his experiences and intreated me to search and try him and again and again he expressed his great joy under the apprehensions of death and that glorious Eternity that he was passing into I desired earnestly to discourse with you said he because I expect to lose the use of my reason and am not like to be capable of speaking my mind to you hereafter and then he intreated me to give him a Funeral Sermon And all this he spoke with as much cheerfulness as can well be imagined speaking of death as the most desirable thing O saith he that I were but ten times sicker I long to dye I am ill but I would be ill to purpose O dear Jesus I long to be with thee Upon Tuesday his distemper grew much upon him and began a little at times to impair his intellectuals and yet by fits he would speak excellently of the things of God being asked whether he was willing to dye he answered That Eternity was too little for him to praise God in for his rich mercy to such a poor creature as he was that the Lord should prepare such an inheritance amongst the Saints in glory for him and that his life was hid with Christ and that when Christ who was his life should appear he also should appear with him in glory This morning he prayed for an exhorted those that were in the family to prepare to meet him in glory Upon Wednesday when he had any intermissions he broke out into such expressions as these Dear Jesus what art thou doing preparing Mansions for me I am coming sweet Jesus I am coming It is but a little while a little thread and when that is cut I shall be safe in glory Being very ill he said What if I should live two hours or two dayes what is that to a glorious Eternity Death what is it but a Porter to open Heaven-gate for me What is all the World compared to that Crown which I shall receive Being asked how he did he answered very well one standing by said no you are very ill he replyed I know I am very sick but I say I am well because I am as God would have me be When I came to him in the afternoon I found him exceeding ill and betraying some weakness in his intellectuals and his discourse being very impertinent I said to him your language was wont to be spiritual but now you forget your self It is true Sir said he but you know what the condition of my body now is blessed be God the root of matter is in me After this he was very still and quiet whilest I read to him and seemed to be much pleased at the reading of the fifty fourth and fifty fifth of Isaiah and gave a very rational account of any spiritual question that was put to him and very desirous that I should pray with him Upon Thursday because of extraordinary business of my own I could not be present with him Upon Friday he was taken speechless for many hours together but according to our Prayers at last he recovered the use of his reason more than before and could speak that we might well understand him then I asked him how he did he answered me Still alive After a considerable pause he cryed out Gracious Father thy Will be done Then I opened several Scriptures to him which speak the blessed state of Saints in another World and when I asked him whether he did understand me He answered Yes Yes and wept several times for joy Now the Symptomes of death approaching come upon him scarce any pulse and a dying sweat and the last words that I heard him speak were Glory Glory After that he continued in very great Agonies and his pangs were strong till about 11 of the Clock then he slept in Jesus being exceedingly lamented by the young men of his Society many of which were about him FINIS An Accompt of Gods Dealings with this Young man before and at his Conversion with some Remarks upon the same as it was Delivered to me under his own hand after I had Discoursed with him by way of Dialogue between a Minister and himself Minister WHat ought to be the great care and duty of every professing Christian in these our dayes Convert Pray What may be the reason of this your Question Min. I have very many reasons but one is this Because it is daily seen that very many who have made great profession of Reâ—igion and are accounted amongst the wise Virgins fall away which is very sad to conâ—ider and I fear that the reason is because there is not that care taken about the state of their souls which there ought to be now I pray you answer me my Question viz. What ought c. Conv. With respect to the former It ought to be every Christians great care to examine himself whether he be in the state of grace or no and which way the Lord was pleased to bring him into that blessed condition sith it is to be feared the want of this is the great and chief cause of mans apostasie from Religion for had he ever been truly wrought upon by the spirit of God had his convictions which more or less all have had turned to a true conversion and had his pangs of sorrow for sin but brought forth regeneration then surely he would have been in such an estate from which all the malice of the powers of darkness could not have drawn him Min. The Answer doth somewhat savour of goodness and that you understand with your heart what you express with the tongue conversion or regeneration is a mighty work and on whomsoever it is truly wrought
you that for a little time about a month or two I was little satisfied no longer than I was engaged in such work as Reading Hearing deep Meditation but especially Prayer and these oh these were the Physitians that I look upon so much to work so great a cure upon my soul that none but Christ that great Physitian could do and truly the best of the Physitians were so full of ill humours themselves as pride self-confidence c. that without the Physick of Christs blood to purge and purifie them they would have stunke in the Nostrills of a holy and pure God as I am afraid they often did Min. Now you have given in an account about sin I would gladly hear what account you can give about the wayes of holiness and of grace and how you began to make your progress in this road Conv. I must be but very brief here for I have much to say about other things but I shall as the Lord shall enable me satisfie you in this as I told you before when the burthen of my sin first came upon me that then and likewise in the six years of my convictions I was fully convinced of the necessity of living a holy life and of the Beauty of Holiness and that without it there would be no salvation for without Holiness none shall see the Lord And upon this account I also earnestly besought the Lord by Prayer and Hearing and reading good Books which the Lord did mightily incline my heart to do and so every day I did more and more desire Holiness and did earnestly thirst after the image of God to be renewed upon my heart so that in short I found no rest any way but what I got by living holily and abstaining from sin and as my weak Physitians I mean my Prayers Hearing Reading Meditation Vows Resolutions c. I say as these was able to apply comfort to me so I had it and no longer being ignorant of the life of Faith in Christ and truly they proved very bad comforters and as I told you they wanted Christs blood to procure acceptation in the eyes of a pure and holy God which will regard them with favour no otherwise than as they are presented to him sprinkled with the blood of his Son Min. Methinks you seem to speak much against these duties and against holiness as if they were not altogether necessary to be imbraced do you not Conv. Oh no God forbid I hope I shall never so far speak against them as to neglect them in the least but this I have said that I may not look upon them any further than as they lead me to Christ for truly I have found nothing in the world so much hindered me of comfort wilfull sin only excepted as in laying so great a stress upon duties for certainly had I laid my foundation sure upon the Rock of Christ and not all upon my own righteousness I should never have been so much shaken and as I may say almost overturned with the assaults of sin and Satan but he would have upheld me with his everlasting armes that I should have been able long agoe to have triumphed in his merits over all the assaults that Satan and my own heart made against me Min. How long did you live upon the stock of your duties before the Lord was pleased to let you see your errour and how was your condition all this while as you thought your self Conv. I lived so about three years or more and in that time I had some sad declinings indeed every day almost I lost my God and the evidences of his love so as I thought my self happy longer than when I could perform duties with great zeal and with strong affections and then oftentimes I could have been willing to have dyed as I thought my heart did so rejoyce in them but when my heart was somewhat dead and flat then I was at a great loss and could find out no rest for the sole of my foot Min. This which you have said seems to me to be a little strange why where was your faith all this while you told me before that you durst not look to God but through Christ and you seemed then as you went along to make Christ your hope and Saviour and then how do you mean you did not rest in him Conv. This is somewhat hard to answer but I hope you will pardon my weakness and I will tell you as plain as I can and that only as my heart and Conscience witnesseth and not to take the help of any book to open it to me that so I may with more humble confidence say that these things I have seâ— down no otherwise but as my own spiriâ— by the assistance of Gods Spirit dictated to me and now I will tell you what I mean by what I have said I hope I looked upon Christ to be a compleat Saviour in every respect and I saw my great need of his blood to procure my pardon for my sins and I knew that it was only from his grace that I was in any measure sanctified and by this I hope I laid all my sins upon him and durst not in the least think of Answering for them my self before God and seemed to give him the glory in respect to any work of Holiness in my heart and so I did highly prize him and greatly delight in him and earnestly desired to love him and more and more to serve him and so I acted faith for three years but all this while I was not throughly convinced of the insufficiency of my own righteousness so as to lay that at Christs feet neither could I suppose it that one might be â—â—â—â—â—bâ—d by anothers righteousness but 〈…〉 that because I was not altogether 〈…〉 as others as I thought there 〈…〉 â—â—ould fare better than others and 〈…〉 mixed my own merits with Christs 〈◊〉 never came â—o far out of my self as to cast my righteousness as well as my sins at his seet and now what abundant cause have I to be humbled and to lye very low before God and still more and more to admire the infinite mercy and patience of God Oh that I who after I was much enlightened and had abundantly tasted and seen how good and gracious the Lord was I say that after all his unspeakable mercies to me how he brought me out of my Aegyptian bondage of sin and loosened me from many strong holds of Satan and brought me so near to his Fathers bosome that I was wont to be many times almost ravished with the fore-thoughts of that joy I did hope for in Heaven Oh that after he had passed me over the red Sea and when many of mine enemies were dead and beaten back and that after he had tryed me a little in the Wilderness of this World then he would have brought me safe into Canaan Oh that I should be so disingenious as to set up a Calf I mean my own Righteousness
and Worship that and should do what I did more to advantage self than Christ Oh I say again what a wonder it is that ever he was pleased to let me see my folly and oh if he should not have done it yet in this particular how inexcusable had I been which will appear in the next Answer Min. Now let me know when and in what manner the Lord was pleased to magnifie his grace in convincing you of the insufficiency of your own Righteousness and of the resting in duties Conv. I will likewise make this as plain to you as the Lord shall enable me so that I may not be found guilty of a spiritual lye and to the best of my remembrance about four months after my powerful call when as I thought I was assuredly in a most happy condition having passed through abundant of tryals and temptations and I began to find them somewhat to flee before me of which you shall hear anon more at large then oh then the Lord was pleased to put into my hand a little Book Entituled The Christians great Interest by Mr. Guthry which when I perused I found I was much concerned in it and was somewhat troubled but it so violently accused me of my Dalilah righteousness which I loving too well to see as I thought abused with a small sigh or the like I commanded it to depart and not to dare to come and controule my idol self any more yet it made my way so plain before me that I could not withstand it a little while after the Lord was pleased to put into my hand another Book for which I have abundant cause to bless God which was the Sincere Convert and reading the latter part of that which treats concerning carnal Confidence and resting in Duties all which did very much concern me I was very much troubled and began to question my estate a little concerning duties but truly I took so little delight in this that I soon laid it by and returned it to the place from whence it came and likewise I had other Books as Mr. Baxters Self-denyal which I read part of with much delight as in reference in denying self-pleasures and sinful recreations and vain company c. all these yielded comfort to me because I found that I did really desire to deny my self all these and made it a great ground of comfort to me that I could so earnestly desire their destructions but when I came to the denyal of self-righteousness this was a hard saying and self would not bear it but away I went to those Books where I could find out as I thought a way to Heaven by my own working and those that treated most of a holy life was the most pleasing to me but when I read concerning Christ or heard him taught to me by his Ministers for although I have omitted how my heart was in hearing yet I would desire you to include that and to suppose that my heart was in that as in Reading or Conferring with respect to the subject I say when I heard Christ taught by his Ministers either in a Pulpit or a Book I much delighted in that I heard or read but when Justification alone by Faith in Christs Merits and living by faith upon a naked Christ as peradventure I might be put too upon a sick bed by reason of a violent disease or the like that I could not have strength of body nor composure of mind to perform duties as in a Feaver or a fit of the Stone or Gout c. I say when these noble and Heaven-born Mysteries were treating on I was much to seek and could take but little comfort from them and so I went on from duty to duty and if at any time I found my heart dead and could for that day or week or month it may be find any comfort from them then I lived in hopes that although I found not all well at present yet it would not long continue so with me and so in some time I recovered life and comfort again I say I continued thus for the space of above three years And now I will declare one thing which did more trouble me than ordinary and that was in August last 67. it happened that as I was visiting a patient and for this thing in particular I have cause to bless God that he placed me in this my calling whom we supposed the Lord would take away at that very time there came Dr. B. to perform as was thought onâ— of the last duties he had to do 〈◊〉 and amongst his discourse and adâ—â—◠〈◊〉 bade her be sure to lay all her sins upon Christ which I liked very well but withall that she should lay all her own Righteousness at his feet and not at all â—o trust to any good she had in her seâ—f but wholly to rely upon the merits of Christ which when I heard my heart rose much against what he said and did much oppose his advice and thought it not at all convenient to be spoken and doubtless had I been in her condition I mean so near death as it was thought she was and he had advised me to the same thing and had cleared it to me oh what a dreadful visitation had that been surely it would have put my soul into such a dreadful Agony of confusion if not despair that surely I should have dyed a second death before I knew the pangs of the first But oh I say again who can hear of this and not be overcome with soul ravishing admirations of the love and goodness and patience of God towards such a wretched nothing as I was that ever he should so long forbear from destroying that soul with eternal damnation that would not with the cords of love be drawn to accept of so clear Salvation but the Lord was plâ—ased still to keep this upon my heart And although I was somewhat troubled but as before again I went to my old Physitians and took a small pill of Prayer composed of a little fear and humiliation but no sooner it got into my heart but there it was guilt with pride and so again became pleasant to me and then I thought all was well and I do desire earnestly that by this God may be much glorified and again methinks I find my heart so mightily inclined to go on in this work which at your request you may remember I was so unwilling to undertake that 〈◊〉 have great hopes there may be the hand of God in it and that it was he that put it into your heart to request if of me and I pray God it may be his glory alone that may move me to it and not any self-pride truly you may say I have great cause to fear and not to trust my own heart any more and the Lord preserve this Jealousie more and more in me but to my present purpose and this which I am about to say might have proved a great disadvantage to me
but I doubt not but the hand of God was in it although I saw it not at that present but since I have and in short it was thus a little while after my last discourse as I think my heart was drawn after the vanities of this world more than ordinary and at the time I likened the estate of my soul to the condition of a fair Virgin that had many Suitors but one she would love and choose above the rest but she being not yet marryed they all make out for her love which is no small trouble to her and doth somewhat make her doubt which she shall have but so soon as she is marryed to one of them then she dares not think of entertaining the others upon that account even so I looked upon my poor soul and that if she was but solemnly marryed to Christ I mean in the Sacrament then she durst not so much as think of embracing either sin or the World or the Devil but still righteous self lay all this while secure Upon these and such like considerations I went to a faithful Divine to ask advice of him concerning this great duty and when I was with him he examined me why and how I came to embrace Religion and when I had given him the heads only of the first account concerning compunction he asked me who I might thank for all this but I being somewhat slow of answer he told me Christ and him alone and gave me some short but sweet advice inviting me to be a guest at his Masters table which was the intention of my going which was more than he then knew on and so dismissed me and oh how did I then rejoyce that I was found worthy to be invited to so great a banquet and now how did I think my condition unquestionable and nothing troubled me but want of assurance to persevere and although the Doctor gave me a great caution to lay all upon Christ and not any thing upon self as I now consider but yet my eyes were so blind and my heart so deceitful that I soon forgot it and so I prepared my heart as well as I could and so addressed my self to the Lords Table and was so far as I can understand made more welcome I am sure than I deserved and then I did feel the Lord with his cords of love drawing hard at my poor soul and so I exercised my love upon Christ and so far as I know enjoyed sweet communion with him but this lasted no longer than my heart was enlarged in secret duties but when they departed then my soul mourned and could not be satisfied with a naked Christ whilest my enlargements returned again to me and by this I perceive I rested in duties and not in Christ and now once more as short as I can and then I will conclude with this but I cannot be so short but I must a little stand and admire at the unspeakable long-suffering patience of God and oh that you would help me in this matter for I profess I am much ashamed and desire to be more of my own heart that it should be barren of praises to that God that hath done sure as much or more for my poor soul as to any since the Creation of the World Oh that Christ who could have raised a Child out of the very stones that would have done far more for him than I have or can do Oh I say that he who could with one look have looked me into Hell should so long stand at the door of my heart and knock till his head was filled with dew and his Locks with the drops of the night Oh that he should stand weeping knocking begging and waiting and crying Open to me Oh that his tears should begg and his groans knock and that his patience should tarry and wait and all should so long cry Oh open to me open to me Oh that sin and self should lodge in my heart and Christ wait so long at the door Oh that I should carry damnation within and let salvation waite without and now I should go about to offer praises to God for this Oh I wish that I could but truly I cannot as I would Oh I cannot and I humbly desire to acknowledge the barrenness of my heart in this and am silent and now pray lend me your patience but a very little and I fear your heart will be straightened with praises to God as well as mine for now the Lord was pleased to encline my heart to read part of two books one of the two was that which I above two years before rejected I will name them viz. the sincere Convert and sound Believer both by one Author T. S. and when I was Reading concerning the souls resting in duties and how hard a thing it was to forsake all its own good and wholly to throw it self upon a naked Christ and then concerning the nature of true humiliation I was much troubled and my thoughts were much perplexed in so much that I thought to open my case to some Divine but to this trouble another was added which was that at that time the Lord was pleased to let me see my own nakedness so much and that which I took to be a covering to it made it seem to be much more naked than I could have imagined it to be that then I thought the more I prayed the more I sinned and the more I Confessed and Repented and Bewailed my own wretched heart especially in the time of duty the more I had cause to do so still and now I looked upon my self in a most sad and destitute condition for how could I choose when I saw my own goodness departing from me which I idolized as the rock of my Salvation and when I saw such a numberless number of sins come afresh into my mind especially in the time of duty that it seemed to me as if the Devil had conjured up all those sins that I thought was long before slain and he himself had been their Captain and had unawares assaulted me and had taken my duty which I made then the Captain of my Salvation prisoner and I alone left to encounter with them without the least weapon to defend my poor soul and oh had these and the pangs of death met together Oh what horrour and amazement would there have been but blessed be God it was before now to say how long I was in this case I cannot well tell but I saw my idol God so accused and condemned and my hatred to him was so great that I hope I did desire never to cease my earnest Prayers to the true God that he would 01 have this usurper executed and likewise I did as I was able earnestly begg of the Lord that he would give me strength to resist him so that he might never sit upon his Throne more and then I did see through admiring Grace the want of Christ more than ever not only to cover
and my poor soul to be reconciled and oh my soul what if these be so already or what if one had told thee of these things some five years agone certainly they would then have been too great for thy belief but what shall they now be so small as not to be worth thy praise oh disingenious soul Oh Lord pardon my unthankfulness oh that all the Angels in Heaven should rejoyce and bless God for what he hath done for thee even for thee for my poor soul And what canst not thou find in heart to endeavour to set forth his praises as much as thou art able that so it may be known that at least thou desirest to give all the glory to God and not to dare to take any to thy self oh my soul what sayest thou What say I oh I say again not unto me not unto me but unto the great and glorious Jehovah be all the glory given And because I hope thy desires are greater than thy expressions therefore fail not my soul to shew forth thy love and praises by giving up thy self wholly to serve and love fear and admire that God who hath done such great and wonderful things for thy soul that passeth thy understanding My Beloved is mine and I am his oh how art thou sure of that What is the peace concluded oh happy Conclusion oh blessed Conjunction shall the Stars dwell with the dust or the wide distant Poles be brought to mutual embraces and co-habitation but oh my soul here the distance is infinitely greater And now Rejoyce O Angels shout O Seraphims and all the friends of the Bridegroom prepare an Epithalamium be ready with the Marriage Song loe here is the wonder of wonders For Jehovah hath or is about to betroth himself for ever to his poor Captive my poor soul And is he so indeed as I hope he is then he owns the Marriage before all the World and is become one with me and I with him And now O my Lord and my God cauâ—â— thy face to shine on the soul of thy â—â—â—vant and shew him more and more 〈◊〉 vileness that he may lye very low even in the Dust and be humbled at thy feet and let the work which thou hast begun in the heart of thy poor Servant be established for ever and do more for me than I can require that thy name may be Magnified for ever and that all that hear of this may say The Lord of Hosts is the God of Israel Amen Hallelujah FINIS These Books with several others are Printed for and to be sold by Dorman Newman at the Chirurgions Arms in Little-Brittain near the Hospital-Gate Folio A Relation in form of a Journal of the Voyage and Residence of Charles the Second King of Great Brittain c. in Holland By Sir William Lower Knight Memoires of the Lives Actions Sufferings and Deaths of those noble Reverend Personages that suffered by Death Sequestration Decimation or otherwise for the Protestant Religion and the Great Principle thereof By David Lloyd A. M. sometime of Oriel Colledge in Oxon. Mr. Knox his History of the Reformation of the Church of Scotland A Treatise of Justification By George Downam Doctor of Divinity Spencers History of Ireland Brathwaits English Gentleman and Gentlewoman Austins Meditations Review of the Council of Trent Babingtons Works Jermin on the Proverbs and Ecclesiastes Quarto THat Excellent Piece of Mr. George Swinnocks Christian-mans Calling in three Volumns Directing the Christian how to make Religion his Business in all Relations Conditions and Occurrences that may fall out in his whole life Faiths Universal Usefulness with the Excellency of a Spiritual Life By that famous man of God Master Matthew Lawrence of Ipswich Mr. Elborough's Sermon on the Fire There is now extant that much expected Book of Mr. Jeremiah Burroughs Entituled Gospel Remission Wherein is discovered First the many and great Gospel-Mysteries therein contained Secondly the glorious effects proceeding from it Thirdly the mistakes that are made about it Fourthly the true Signs and Symptomes of it Fifthly the way and means how to obtain it The Virtue and Value of Baptism Catechetically propounded as Antidote against all Baptism-despising Dicrates By Mr. Zach. Crofâ—on That much expected Piece of Mr. Durham Minister in Scotland his Exposition upon the whole Book of Canticles or Song of solomon is now Printed with Dr. Owens Preface and Mr. Durhams Epistle Dr. Hamptons Sermon before King James Lesley's Sermon tending to Unity Hampton's Three-fold State of man A Sermon before King James History of the Gentle Craft Dod and Clever on the Commandments Souls Sentinels Spicers Elogie on Sir Arthur Chester A Discourse upon Prodigious Abstinence Occasioned by the Twelve Moneths Fasting of Martha Taylor the Famed Derbyshire Damosel Proving that without any Miracle the Texture of Humane Bodies may be so altered that Life may be long Continued without the supplies of Meat and Drink With an Account of the Heart and how far it is interessed in the Business of Fermentation Humbly offered to the Royal Society By John Reynolds The Quakers Spiritual Court Proclaim'd Being an exact Narrative of two several Tryals had before that New-High-Court of Justice at the Pcele in St. John's Street Together with the Names of the Judges that sate in Judgement and of the Parties concerned in the said Tryals Also sundry Errors and Corruptions in Principle and Practice among the Quakers which were never till now made known to the World Also a Direction to attain to be a Quaker and Profit by it All which with many new matters and things of Remark among those Men are faithfully declared and testified By Nathaniel Smith Student in Physick who was himself a Quaker and conversant among them for the space of about XIV Years Octavo THe Life of Cardinal Woolsey that famous Lord Chancellour of England c. With the Remarks upon those Times not unworthy the perusal of ours The Excellency of the Pen and Pensil exemplifying the Uses of them in the most Exquisite and Mysterious Arts of Drawing Etching Engraving Limbning Painting in Oyl washing Maps and Pictures Also the way to cleanse any old Painting and preserve the Colours Furnished with divers Copper Cuts A guide to Ladies Gentlewomen and Maids how to behave themselves in all Estates Relations and Conditions By Hannah Wolley A guide to the True Religion Directing how to make a wise Choice of the Religion men Venture their Salvation upon By J. Clapham M.A. The Christians great Interest or a short Treatise divided into two Parts The first whereof containeth the Tryal of a Saving Interest in Christ The second pointeth forth plainly the way how to obtain it wherein somewhat is likewise spoken to the manner of Express Covenanting with God By W. Guthry late Minister of the Gospel in Scotland The Fifth Impression Justification only upon a Satisfaction or the Necessity and Verity of the Satisfaction of Christ as the alone ground of Remission of sin asserted and opened against the Socinians By Robert Fergirson Minister of the Gospel in London The Pastors Love to a Loving People By Mr. William Thompson Minister of the Gospel in London A Synopsis of Quakarisme or a Collection of the Fundamental Errors of the Quakers With a brief Refutation of their most Material Arguments and particularly W. Pen's in his late Sandy Foundation shaken and an Essay toward the Establishment of private Christians in the Truth opposed by those Errors By Thomas Danson sometime Minister of the Gospel in Sandwich in Kent The Laws and Canons drawn up and agreed upon by the General Assembly or Meeting of the Head of the Quakers from all parts of the Kingdom Phanatick Primer for the Instruction of Little Ones in order to perfect reading By H. Adis Rebukes for sin by Gods Burning Anger by the burning of the City the burning of World and the burning of the Wicked with a Discourse of Heart-fixedness By Thomas Doolittel Minister of the Gospel The Life of Dr. James Usher late Arch-Bishop of Armagh and Primate of all Ireland A most Comfortable and Christian Dialogue By Mr. William Cooper Spare Minutes Or Resolved Meditations and premeditated Resolutions By Arthur Warwick Clarissimi Viri Adriani Heerchoordi Philosophiae professoris Ordinarii Disputationum de Concursu Examen a Johanne Stearne M.D. Institutum ad Amicum suum Johannem Rawlineum An Excellent Oration of that late famously Learned John Raynolds D. D. and Lecturer of the Greek Tongue in Oxford very useful for all such as affect the Studies of Logick and Philosophy and admire Profane Learning Archers Jests Heaths Transubstantiation Sejanus Owen's Epigrams King James meditations None but Christ Four Select Sermons upon several Texts of Scripture wherein the Idolatry and Will-worship of the Church of Rome is laid open and confuted By Mr. Will. Fennar of Rochsord never before published Mr. James Maltons twenty Sermons preached on several Texts viz. Mans Petition and Gods Compassion shewed on Psalm 138.3 Mercy despised and God provoked thereby on Psalm 106.24 Christs Pretiousness on 1 Pet. 2.7 The necessity of Humiliation on Acts 16.29 30. Christ the Bread of Life on John 6.35 Christs two Disciples doers of Gods will on John 7.17 Fear of losing Salvation and the way to obtain it on Heb. 4.1 The Persevering Saint shall be crowned Saint on Rev. 3.11 Walking in Christ a sign of our right receiving of Christ on Col. 2.6 Light Discovered and Man Recovered on 1 Tim. 1.10 Christs Temptation the Saints Supportation on Heb. 2. and the last Verse Christs provision for mans Direction on Isa 40.11 Heaven upon Earth or the Best Friend in the Worst Times By James Janeway Unhappy Prosperity expressed in the History of Aâ—lius Sejanus and Philippa the Catamian The Practice of Quietness directing a Christian how to live quietly in this troublesome World The CHURCH MILITANT Historically continued from the Year 33. to the Year 1640. By Sir William Vaughan Knight A most Comfortable and Christian DIALOGUE between the Lord and the Soul By William Cooper Lord Bishop of Galloway The Vertue Vigour and Efficacy of the Promises Displayed in their Strength and Glory Duly methodised and fitly applyed to every Christians particular Case and Condition In a Soliloquy wholly Scriptural between the Soul and the Comforter With a Divine Rapture of the Soul now resting satisfied by the Spirit of the Holy Promise By Thâ— Henderson Hollingworths Justification In Duodecimo FINIS
command the affections of all that hear of thee that nothing but thy love may serve their turns Pardon me that this admirable one hath dravvn out my thoughts so largely If you can but love after all this and see him when you dye with comfort you will say I were too short in his praises and too superficial in his commendations and that the half was not told you 4. The blessedness of departed Saints lies in this that they shall meet with all the Children of God and have communion with the spirits of the just made perfect Thou shalt then meet thy best friends whose company was so warming whose words were so incouraging whose lives did so much command Religion their Faces did then shine their conversation was in Heaven but O what an alteration is there in them for the better their Souls are now like Christ nothing but grace love and praise no difference in judgment no pride or passion nothing that offends And how vvill they vvelcome you to their Fathers House you that took sweet counsel together that went to the House of God that talk'd of that glory how glad will you be when you meet in it Nay Death will bring you acquainted with all these famous Worthies of whom the World was not worthy the noble Champions of Christ which thought not their lives dear to them so they might but finish their course with joy this Porter opens the Door and lets the Saints Soul into that Palace where all the Favourites of that great Prince reside and thou shalt stand also with them upon Mount Zion in the presence of that Mighty King and shalt behold and live in his glory for ever And is all this inconsiderable What would I give to see Enoch that walked with God How glad should I be to be acquainted with Elias how joyful if I might have some discourse with Paul Would it not make one couragious in the cause of God if one could hear Daniel or the Three Children tell the story of their deliverance How should one be pleased to have it from the Mouth of Moses Joshuah and Caleb what God did for Israel in the Fields of Ham the Red-Sea and the Wilderness and how he brought them into the Land of Canaan hovv do you think you should be affected at such things as these vvhy as formidable as Death looks it 's he that brings us to the speech of all these How loath are we novv to part when a knot of us have got together to talk about the things of another World are not the Saints the excellent ones in whom is our delight is not the empty discourse of the unexperienced World tedious and their Company a burden Why Heaven hath in it none but Saints and Angels and the blessed God Is not that Company indeed and all their work will be to admire praise and love God and to take infinite delight and complacency in him to all Eternity O what acclamations of joy vvill there be vvhen all the Children of God shall meet together vvithout fear of being disturbed by the Antichristian and Cainish brood when they meet and never part but joyn in Hallelujahs for ever That that 's the melody vvhen a Quire of ten thousand times ten thousand of Angels shall sing an Eternal Song and the hundred and forty and four thousand and that innumerable Company out of all Nations Tongues and Kindreds shall ansvver saying Blessing honour glory and power be unto Him that sits upon the Throne and unto the Lamb for ever and ever Rev. 5.13 Luk. 13.28 29. Heb. 11.22 Eph. 2.19 5. An other thing wherein the blessedness of the Saints departed consists is that then all their Prayers shall be sully answered their desires satisfied and hopes enjoyed They now oft with sorrow hear the reproaches of the wicked who are ready to ask them vvhere is their God vvhat is become of their sasts tears and groans to vvhat purpose do they afflict themselves what profit is it for them to call upon God what benefit is there in serving the Almighty The wicked boast of their hearts desire and are ready to sleight Religion as a useless and contemptible thing But is there not a time a coming vvhen the godly may ask them vvhat profit they have novv in their pleasures vvhat comfort in their greatness what fruit of all their labours and with unspeakable satisfaction produce their Crown and say This this was the prize that we contended for this was the reward that vve had in our Eye this was the glory and honour which we so highly valued This is our God in whom we have trusted Es 25.9 The Saints shall then see that it was not in vain to seek knock and wait then they shall understand that nothing was lost which was spent for their Souls and Heaven they shall shortly know that the poorest hearty groan was heard the quickest ejaculations were not unobserved and that the vveakest sincere Prayers were able to pierce the Heavens O who would not serve such a Master who can't forget any of his nay the Lord will infinitely out-do their requests and give them more than their Tongue could ask and mindes conceive This is the portion of them that seek thee that seek thy face O Jacob. 6. At Death the Believer shall be possessed of God and know what the beatifical Vision means and if you would be better satisfied what this is my request is that you would live holily and go and see And if after a sight and sense of this incomprehensible glory you finde that I have deceived you by making you to over-value it I am contented to bear the blame of an Impostor I am here but brief because I must confess my Meditations are now at a loss and silence and astonishment must speak the rest 7. That which is no small addition to a Saints happiness is this that there is no fear of losing of it his Enemies can't rob him for they are all safe enough and his Treasure is locked up there where neither Moth nor Rust can corrupt nor Thieves break thorow and steal the Christian may then rejoyce over his Enemy and say vvho shall separate me from the love of God they that are safe in Heaven need not to entertain any fears of losing their Inheritance If God that made Heaven and brought them to it can secure them if Christ that bought it for them can make good his purchase if all challenges are laid aside they are vvell enough thy house shall not be shaken thy comforts are durable and the lease of thy Inheritance runs parallel with the life of God and must not expire till Eternity be spent Rom. 8.33 Heb. 13.5 If. 54 10. Is 35. last 8. The last thing that I shall mention wherein the happiness of the Dead that dye in the Lord consists is in the full and joyful assurance of a glorious Resurrection and acquaittance at the day of Judgment Their Bodies are the sacred Temples
entring into the world but I had no sooner imbraced the motion but that very day I felt a change in my poor soul viz. a too too much letting out my thoughts upon it which I most perceived in duty and the devil who long waited his opportunity did then I am afraid not only parley but get entrance through the treachery and deceitfulness of my wretched heart and he told me that I might lawfully settle my mind upon this it being a business of great concernment and that it would be but a little while and then I should return to my former temper in spiritual matters upon those delusions my silly heart gave way and I found too much willingness of soul to place its concerns in that matter and so I laying down my watch soon lost my former experiences and every day I found my comforts on the ebbing hand I secretly departed from God and darkened the light of his countenance that did shine sometimes upon my soul and had not infinite grace put a seasonable word into your mouth to prevent me how had I fallen and whither had I gone I could not have thought it possible that ever my heart should decline so strangely as it did I that formerly could serve my Master faithfully cheerfully and comfortably did it grutchingly and not out of love though I never fell so far through grace as to neglect any thing of his businesses yet 〈◊〉 lost the right principles of action and the art of spiritualizing of civil affairs and this lasted for about three moneths It is scarce to be thought what perplexities I brought my self into by my back-sliding from God I have not time to declare things and had I it would be very unwelcome to you true I hope I did enjoy some communion with God when I was engaged in duties especially in that to be admired Ordinance of the Sacrament and Prayer but yet my comforts and duty usually ended together I hope the experience that I have had of the treachery of my own heart will make me carry a fence of my weakness and folly so as 〈◊〉 throw my self wholly upon the wisdom of God I have thus opened my soul to you O that the Lord who first for his own name sake shewed mercy to me when I deserved none would now look upon me in my low estate and consult the same bowels of pitty and compassion which are infinite past the sins of finite creatures O that he would heal my back-slidings and love me freely God is the same and changeth not and my hopes are that he will again return and visit my soul in mercy After this the Lord was pleased to come in again and he found his former comforts in some measure returning after a great deal of pains with his own heart and wrestling with God Hear what language he begins to speak again Blessed be God for what I do enjoy it is ten thousand times more than I deserve I hope the dew of the sanctuary doth oft refresh me and the blood of Jesus is my cordial when I sit at his Table he visits me and his banner over me is love I may speak it to the glory of rich grace that my heart is in a better frame than it was and I am more free from distractions in duty but yet I am far from that frame that I was once in my distemper it lyeth in want of those strong affections to God and that which hath made me so silent to you is the fear of hypocrisie lest my tongue should at any time out-reach my heart I might be far larger and yet speak none but his words this I think may prove that he was a very curious observer of his own soul and took notice of the least departures of his heart from God or Gods absenting of himself from him I might tell you what pains he took to prepare for the Sacrament and what exactness he used afterwards in taking notice how his soul was affected when it was not raised what care did he use till he found a fresh wâ—râ—nth heat and life animating of him I might tell you how frequent he was in that rare duty of meditation I speak not this without book many sheets of his meditations which I have by me shew that he was no stranger to those spiritual duties which few understand and fewer practise 9. He was greatly desirous to be reproved and watched over that of the Psalmist was oft in his mouth and written in his Letter Let the Righteous smite me and it shall be a kindness and let him reprove me and it shall be excellent Oyl which shall not break my head 10. He was much exercised in acts of mortification and self denyal he laboured to keep under his body to have the command of his passions and affections very temperate drinking water c. 11. He was frequently praising of God and speaking well of his wayes indeed his deportment was such that he credited Religion and commended the service of his great Master and made people to believe that Religion was an excellent thing and he justified wisdom and was able to say her wayes were pleasantness and her paths peace 12. He was a very good Husband of time one would wonder how one could roll over such a deal of business as he did not in the least neglecting his Masters affairs and yet that he should write such packets of letters and pen so many Meditations and be so very helpful to his brethren the young men How many Books did he read over and read them to the purpose so as to make them his own some of them five or six times over and if he had no company to dicourse with when he went abroad he lookt oft into his Pocket Book which was called Making Religion ones business 13. He had a strong affection for the faithful Ministers of Christ and was concerned when the Cloud began to threaten them that he ingaged all the Prayers he could for them that the Lord would blow over this storm and I am ready to think that this might hasten his end 14. He was greatly afraid of spiritual pride to this end he desired me to keep a watch over him and beseeched me to discover it to him when I did at any time discern the actings of it but though he had great parts and gifts above his age yet the fence of former sins and his curious observance of his heart and the fence of free grace kept him very low 15. He seemed to be possessed with the thoughts of death and Eternity He had a strong impression upon his spirit of the neerness of his end for about half a year before he dyed And 16. He was much above the fears of death and from a deep fence of the reallity of invisibles and his propriety in them he thought long for possession and he could say I desire to be dissolved and to be with Jesus On the Lords Day before he dyed he