serviceable more proper or powerful than to consider they died in hope may we not more easily with more submission and less reluctancy commit the Body to the Dust when we have ground to hope the Soul which is by far the better part and to which certainly we owe most love is in Heaven may not Gods Grace and Mercy to them before their departure abundantly comfort us after their dissolution we have more infinitely more reason to groan and weep Lord forgive us we do not over a wicked Relation that is dead while he liveth than 1 Tim. 5. 6. over a godly Relation that lives tho' he dies That wicked profane son of thine who lives to thy shame and Gods dishonour calls for more Tears than thy godly and religious Son who is dead i. e. gone from his Earthly to his Heavenly Father a Lugâ—s Corpus a quo recâ—ssit anima Luge animam à qua recessit Deus Aâ—g De Sanct. 13. Do'st thou weep over the Body from which the Soul is gone weep over that Soul from which God is departed b 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrys in Phil. Hom. 3. Let us saith another lament sinners not only when they die but while they live but let us rejoice over the righteous not only while they live but when they are dead If we would not offend while we sorrow if we would weep as if we wept not 1 Cor. 8. 30. let us seriously consider with what great blessed and glorious hopes our Holy Relations died and that now they are receiving the end of their Faith and Hope the Salvation of their Souls Cannot we 1 Pet. 1. 9. behold the Pale Wan Gastly and Breathless Corps they have left behind without wetting it with an immoderate shower of Tears Can't we follow them to their long home look into the deep and dark frightful and lonesome grave in which we must leave them without an excess of sorrow Let us look up and consider whither they are gone what they now are enjoy and do what employment and society they have what rivers of pleasure they are drinking of and what angelical joys they are now filled with Is their Pilgrimage over are they got to the end of their Journey Are they gone home and are they now with God After many threatning storms and tempests many fears of shipwrack and drowning has Death safely landed them and are they got well into Harbour Have they done their work finished their course and are they now receiving the reward The reward they long pray'd and waited for Is their warfare accomplisht their conflict with sin and all the legions of darkness now over and the crown obtain'd Are they gone from this to a better World to a World more holy and happy more quiet and peaceable Are they gone from Earth to Heaven To Heaven where they long'd wisht and groan'd to be To Heaven where their treasure hearts and hopes were long ago To Heaven where there is all good and no evil all that can be thought of wisht and desired to make up a compleat and entire happiness Is their trial over and their account delivered up with joy and has God said Well done good and faithful Servants Have they exchang'd Earth for Heaven Sickness for Health Sorrow for Joy pain for Ease Trouble for Rest Groans for Songs Tears for Triumph a State of Sin for a State of perfect Holiness Are they past for ever past those difficulties and dangers snares and temptations which we are liable to and must encounter Have they done wrestling and fighting watching and striving complaining and weeping Are they gone to the true land of the living and are they beyond the pain the fear the possibility of dying any more for ever Are they gone from a Sick-bed a Crazy Body an house of Clay a Tabernacle of the Flesh that was always shaking and tottering to a mansion in their Fathers house to a City that hath foundations whose Builder and maker is God Are they gone to their own countrey and their own People To God the Judge of all to Christ the Mediator of the new Covenant to an innumerable company of Angels and the Spirits of just men made perfect Have they the Beatifical vision the ravishing fight of the Man Christ Jesus in all his glory Are they in Heaven and are they glad they are Without the least thought wish or desire to return to this wretched Earth of ours again Did they run their Christian race with holy patience and constancy and have they won the prize Are they reaping the fruit of all their prayers and tears religious duties and holy endeavours Are our departed Relations who t'other day were weeping sinning and suffering with us now sate down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob with Patriarchs Prophets Apostles Confessors and Martyrs in the Kingdom of God above Did they live in the fear die in the favour of God and shall they rise in his love Did they live in comfort and at last die in peace Are their Souls gone to Heaven and does their Flesh rest in hope And is not this enough and more than enough to check an intemperate sorrow Can we as it were hear the separated Soul of one whom we lov'd knew and conversed with a while ago or of one who was related to us in the flesh upon its first arrival at yonder blessed World with wonder and admiration crying out Glorious Sight Blessed Company Happy Place Where am I What a change is this What Musick do I hear Is this Heaven Incomparable place Is this glorious Mansion for me Admirable grace Must I be with God and Christ and be with them for ever Vnspeakable Happiness Must I O ye Holy Angels and glorified Spirits be one of your Number Excellent Company But is this Heaven Is this the Heaven I heard of so often What I was told Alas poor mortals do not know what Heaven is was not one half of what I now find Is this Heaven Am I in it must I be here for ever Glory to thee O God the Father for preparing it Glory to thee O God the Son for purchasing it Glory to thee O God the Holy Ghost for preparing me for Heaven And yet immoderately weep at the thoughts of his departure Had they hope on a death-bed and are they now in possession of all they hoped for and have not we more cause to weep for our selves who are left behind than for them who are gone have not we more reason to wish Lord that my work were done my Soul prepared and my Account ready that I might be gone than wish oh that I had my Wife my Father my Mother again we that are Christians design Heaven Heaven is the blessed Port we are bound for and shall we repine and grieve that our holy Relations are safely Landed before us Is this our love to ' em oh what abundant provision has God made for the support of his people under such afflictive
God his Love to you or yours to him because it is so and so with you yet don't say nay don 't so much as think there are any more bitter Ingredients in your Cup than are necessary than both the Wisdom and Bowels of a Father advise Is Satan busie to fill you with doubts and fears needless suspicions and groundless jealousies does he draw a Curtain before or cast a Veil upon your faces does he labour to magnifie your Sins blot your Evidences and extinguish your Hope and are you cast down and go mourning all the day long because of this why should you is it not an Argument Satan has lost his game and you are none of his Slaves because he thus disquiets you Do you mourn after God and pant and breathe for him is it nothing but the light of his Countenance the smiles of his Face and a sense of his Love can content you Are you looking to see the Image of God upon your hearts and is it your grief and trouble you cannot see it so plain and legible as you should and would and desire and hereupon do you conclude you have no Grace What! when even these tears and groans tell you you have Tho' you may walk in darkness as many Children of Light have and do yet stay your selves on God and wait for him Oh how easily and quickly can the breath of God scatter all these Clouds which darken your Souls and the Light of his Countenance make a bright and a joyful day Having this opportunity to testifie my Love to you especially to your Souls I shall beg and presume on my Readers patience while upon this occasion I give you some counsels which I pray God may be useful to you and many more in the like circumstances I. Bless God it was your Lot and Happiness to be born of such holy Parents whereof one is taken and the other is yet left To be the Off-spring of them who are the Children of God to be the Postcrity of those who themselves are born from and have an Alliance to Heaven to descend from them who are the Dear and Antient Friends of God to be born of them who have a Convenant-Interest in God and can lay claim to the Covenant both for themselves and theirs how great a mercy what an invaluable Priviledge is it I am far from saying that Grace runs in a Blood that Children are Heirs to the Graces as they are to the Riches of their Parents but yet it is a Priviledge to be born of such I do and I would have you heartily bless God for it How sad a thought is it I am born of them who are Enemies to God Slaves to these Lusts and Servants to the Devil What a sad Example do such set before their poor Children in case they live and what a dreadful Legacy how many Woes and Curses do they bequeath to 'em in case they die before ' em I know sometimes sovereign Grace that even of Stones can Matth. 3. 9. raise up Children to Abraham cuts off the Entail But more frequently they tread in their Fathers steps and bear their Iniquities But how comfortable is it to sit down and think God a long time before my Birth order'd I should be born of such and such who were his familiar Friends and dear Servants I have a Father a Mother in whom I can see the Image of God who are united to Christ and sanctified by the Holy Spirit Is it not a mercy to be the Children of such Are not they more likely in a serious conscientious and sober manner to devote and dedicate their new-born Infants in Baptism to God when others only complement with God and bring them to the Laver of Regeneration out of Custom Ceremony and for Fashion sake they will do it with a deep sense of God's Goodness and Mercy And great may be the benefit of this solemn Transaction and early Dedication Will not such Parents when they look upon their own act and deed and remember what they promised in the Name and stead of their Children be put upon performing consequent Duties as earnest and servent Prayer to God for them a timely instructing them in the Christian Religion setting before 'em an holy Example and watching over their first early and ungovern'd years and how beneficial may all this be are not such Children like to have the benefit of an holy Religious Education which very oft God blesses to Conversion however may they not be kept from many open scandalous and conscience-wounding sins which in Youth They are inclined to and Others commit may not and has not God blessed such for their Father's sake These are does the great God as it were say the Children of my Covenant-servants they were born in my Family enter'd into my Service and I will be their God as I was the God of their Father and Mother their Holy Parents devoted them to me and I accepted set my mark upon them they are mine and they shall be mine and know what it is to be born of those who were my Friends and Favourites What is the peculiar priviledge of such Truly the Children of such Parents owe more thanks to God upon this account than usually they are aware of How few on their Knees heartily acknowledge God's Goodness and mercy to 'em in this respect while others pride themselves in the greatness of their Family the nobleness of their descent and that they have more pure and refined blood running in their Veins than others Bless the Lord O my Soul that I had a Father who was a Son and a Mother who was a Daughter of God This Children should do not only while Parents are alive but when dead a deep sense and a thankful acknowledgement of God's goodness should survive their Funeral render their memory very very pretious and force lively praises from us when they are faln asleep Let me add that this duty is most reasonable and the neglect of it most culpable if God hath blessed all or any of their endeavours to our Conversion Were they under God the means of our first and second birth the instruments of conveying Natural and Spiritual Life Is it owing to them that we are Men and Women and to their Prayers and Tears instructions and counsels that we are Christians Did God bless our Education and was it the means of an early and lasting Piety Our Debt is increas'd and a double Tribute of Praise is owing to God II. Learn how to make use of urge and plead this priviledge with your selves and with God With your selves that you may live and act as Children of such Parents with God that you may have the Blessings and Mercies which belong to such Vrge it upon and plead it with your own Souls that you may suppress Sin resist Temptation and live in the constant and lively performance of Holy Duties Israel makes use of this Argument He is my God and I will prepare
be unthankful for the mercies of many For the mercies of my whole life Oh how evil and criminal would this be my flesh is pain'd my affliction great my sick-bed uneasie and the hand of God presseth me sore my tears and sorrows my innocent groans which I hope are only the voice of oppressed nature pierce the hearts and draw tears from the eyes of my dear Relations but yet O my Soul I charge thee by all that is solemn and sacred let there not be a murmuring thought a repining word or any peevish carriage Remember remember the days of Old the mercies of former times and be thankful Thy God hath been good is and will be so and be thou ALL LOVE and PRAISE Was it not God who form'd and fashion'd me in the Womb and brought me forth into the light with an entire and perfect body Were not all my members Ps 139. 16. written in his book and did not he watch over my substance while it was yet imperfect and did not he take care I should not be be born out of due time Was it not 1 Cor. 15. 8. he who appointed when where and of whom I should be born and did not he order all the circumstances of my birth in the best manner When I was a poor helpless infant when I hung on my Mothers breast and lay in my cradle did not he take the care of me Did not his providence watch over me in my Childhood and prevent many unknown and unseen dangers Did noâ— he in my youth keep me from the many evils which in that ungoverned age I was exposed to and might have brought upon my self Has not his careful eye been upon me from my first moments even until now how pretious are thy thoughts unto me O Ps 139 17. God! How great is the sum of them Was it not of God I had the happiness to be born of Religious Parents who set before me a good example wept over and prayed for me That I had seasonable instructions wholsome counsels and the benefit of a vertuous education in my first and early years Was it not he that restrained and with-held me from those sins and lusts which many are overtaken withal and I my self was in danger of in that age of folly and vanity Hath not he fed and cloathed provided for and defended me Been my refuge in a storm my sanctuary in a time of danger my deliverer in an evil day and my Physitian in sickness How oft hath he brought me out of the fiery furnace raised me from a sick bed renewed my strength and saved me from going down to the pit when in my own and others apprehension I was at the mouth of and ready to drop into it hath not he supplied my wants increased my substance blest my endeavours and given me a considerable portion of this Worlds goods Is it not of him I have Friends and Relations to be a comfort to me while others have none or such as are worse than none even a cross and a scourge to them Hath not his Arm upheld his power defended his mercy succoured his bounty supplyed his treasuries enricht me Hath not his providence been ever watchful over me and his holy Angels my constant and perpetual life-guard When in my affliction and pain I have cryed to him hath he not heard my groans regarded my tears answered my prayers in the fittest season and best manner eased or supported me removed my burden or given me strength and so ordered the affliction from first to last that I have been forc't to say Lord it is good for me I have been afflicted Psal 119. â—1 I have not only had the mercies of the left hand but those of the right not only temporal but Spiritual not only for a perishing body but more and greater for an immortal Soul Thanks be to God that he quickened and raised me when I was dead in Trespasses and Sins Eph. 2. 1. that he brought me to hear his Holy word and made it effectual for my conviction and conversion that the same word which was to others the savour of Death unto Death to me was the savour 2 Cor. 2. 16. of Life to Life That the same Word the same Blessed Gospel which blinded them enlightned me which left them in their sins and under the power of Satan brought me home to God for this thy special grace and mercy to my Soul Lord I do I will and hope I shall for ever bless thee Who or what am I What have I done or what can I do That I should be chosen and effectually called when others are not Lord Why didst thou call and convert me and not another me and not my Neighbour me and not him who sate in the same pew heard the same Sermon and for many years attended upon the same ministry Free grace distinguishing mercy differencing love Am I converted changed sanctified and pardon'd Lord I do I will admire and adore thy powerful and victorious grace Awake O my Soul awake prepare a song Oh love and bless and praise thy God I was an Apostate wretch a stubborn enemy a disloyal Rebel and it was a long time before I would lay down my weapons return to my duty and yield patience waited mercy invited ministers exhorted the Spirit pleaded conscience urged God expostulated with yearning bowels the Blessed Jesus called to me from Heaven and beseeched me by his wounds and tears blood-shed passion and death to be reconciled to God but I vile wretch that I was did not hear How many reproofs and counsels warnings and exhortations earnest pleadings and pathetick Sermons were lost upon me And blessed be God all were not that one did the work Did God convert me after many Sabbaths enjoyed and many Sermons heard in vain Infinite kindness Lord I bow and worship before thee and with all the powers of my immortal Spirit bless and praise thee Was it not God pityed me when I did not pity my self Who called after and stopt me when I was running head-long to Hell Who loosed my chains broke my bonds knockt off my setters and brought me out of the House of bondage Was it not he who with a mighty power and stretched-out arm delivered and rescued me when sin ruled and govern'd and Satan led me in triumph as his vassal and captive And shall not I though a sick and pained man adore and bless him Bless him I do I will Bless the Lord O my Soul Ps 103. 2. And all that is withim me bless his Holy Name Since my Conversion and becoming a new man since God took me into his family adopted and made me his Son how much and what great things have been done for me what sweet and ravishing Communion have I had in holy duties publick and private in the assembly of Saints and in my Closet what large speedy and remarkable answers of Prayer what a ravishing sense of Divine Love and Favour
Life without this superlative and predominant love I am I can be no Christian But O my Soul is not my lothness to die when God calls and would have me an ill sign my love is not so strong my affection so warm and this flame so bright and burning as it ought to be doth a Man love God what and wish to be at an eternal distance from him what a flat contradiction is this do I love my God my Saviour and the H. Spirit my guide and comforter as much as I ought and not care how long I am absent from this Blessed Trinity oh how weak and defective is my love did I love my God as strongly as I love my Friend my Relations should I not think it long till I am with him were the glowing sparks blown up into a flame did I love and love as much as I ought how passionately should I cry out My Soul thirsteth for God for the living Psal 42. 3. God when shall I come and appear before God How long must I be at this lamented distance HE is my God my Life my Joy my Happiness my All oh that I were with him oh blessed are they who dwell in his Presence stand before his Throne and continually behold his Face when shall it be so with me O my God I love thee and long to see thee O my Saviour I love thee and I long to see thy Face and have thy company that I may love thee more for every view of thee my glorious Jesus will increase the Flame How long how long Lord how long is the voice of love of a strong and burning love Doth God by this present sickness call me to come from Earth to Heaven from my Friends to him from my Relations who love me pity me pray for and weep over me to my Saviour who loves me more and is able to help me and am I unwilling do I shrink draw back and wish to tarry longer is there not some great defect in my love doth it not want many of those degrees it ought to have Holy Lord Blessed Jesus I am troubled I am ashamed to find so much unwillingness in my self to die now because I am convinc'd my love to thee is not so strong as it should be O pity and pardon me oh help me to love thee more and better and then I shall obey thy Summons and be willing to come to thee tho' Death and the Grave be in my Way that I may let me love thee more and better Lord Hath not God O my Soul promised me a future Glory and confirmed that Promise with an Oath Hath he not revealed much of Heaven to me that I might not be an utter stranger to that unseen World hath he not given me many sweet foretasts of it in Meditation and Prayer in Sermons and in my Sacramental Communions that I might desire long and thirst after more What delightful hours what holy Communion with God Father Son and Spirit what joyful views what ravishing prospects of Heaven have I sometimes had have I not had those sights of God in the Sanctuary those discoveries of his love and that sense of his favour that I have cried out Lord it is good for Mat. 17. 4. me to be here Have I not had that Communion with God in my secret retirements and have I not been fill'd with those joys on my Knees that I have had no more mind to the little things of time to the Vanities here below have not I sometimes been so refresht reviv'd and comforted so satisfied and transported with joy that I have long'd for Heaven that I might be capable of and enjoy more can't I remember the time tho' alass it hath been too seldom so when I would have been glad to have gone from my Closet and from my Knees to Heaven and shall I be unwilling now what did a good God vouchsafe all this to me for but to make me long for Heaven and willing to die why did he give me these first fruits but that I might long for the Harvest these Clusters of Canaan but that I might long for the Vintage These Tasts but that I might long to drink a full Draught of those Rivers of Pleasure which are at his Isa 16. 11. Right Hand for evermore Lord continue and increase those joys now and I will readily dye Moreover O my Soul hath not God continued me in Life and being a great while I might have died in my Infancy Childhood and Youth but I did not I might have died in the Morning or at Noon but I have lived unto the Evening How many are dead and gone while I am yet spar'd how many thousands hath Death removed out of the World since I came into it how many Funerals have I survived how many younger persons have I out-liv'd I have sometimes been sick but did not God recover restore and raise me up again this House of Clay hath often totter'd but hath not God repaired and yet kept it standing the Arrows of Death have been flying about me and many thousands have fallen on my right hand and many on my left but they have had no commission to touch me many have been called out of the Vineyard at the first third and sixth hour and I have been continued to the ninth nay to the eleventh Have not I lived thirty forty fifty sixty years when thousands have not lived so many months weeks or days and is it not shameful for me to be unwilling to dye now after I have lived in the World so long shall I be as loth to dye as those who are but newly come into it unthankful Soul is this the return thou makest to God for so much time and patience the poor Infant of a few days may say must I dye almost as soon as I am born go from one Grave to another come upon the Stage only to look about me take a short turn and so go off the young man may say am I arriv'd at that period of Life wherein Nature is strongest and I am most capable of relishing the pleasures of it and must I go now to a lonesome and solitary Grave must I go to Bed in the Morning and my Sun go down at Noon-day must my Candle be blown out by the Breath of Death when it might Burn much Longer must I in my Youth Strength and the Flower of my Age be thy mark and game O heard-hearted Death when so many old and decrepit ones who in civility may be willing to retire to the Grave and make room for others and of whom the World is weary are passed by O Death Death dost thou refuse the halt the lame and the blind and must I one of the best of the Flock be singled out and be laid as a Sacrifice on thine Altar If this be the Young Mans complaint what can be the old Mans Apology will it not be as weak as himself Have not I
THE Righteous Man's HOPE AT DEATH Consider'd and Improv'd for the Comfort of Dying Christians and the Support of Surviving Relations To which is Added Death-bed Reflections c. Proper for a Righteous Man in his Last Sickness By Samuel Doolittle This was the first Sermon the Author Preacht after the Death of his Mother Mrs. Mary Doolittle who deceased Decemb. 16. 1692. and is since enlarged LONDON Printed for Thomas Cockerill at the Three Leggs in the Poultrey over against Stocks-Market 1693. TO His Loving Sisters Mrs Mary Sheafe Mrs Tabitha Hearne Mrs Susanna Pool Mrs Sarah Dawson Mrs Martha Doolittle Dear Sisters THAT Infinitely Wise God who does what he will and gives not account of any of his Matters Job 33. 13. has made a breach upon us That God who gave at first and for many years continued has now removed from us a dear and tender Mother This Arrow that killed one wounded all that Stroke that took away Life from her took away an excellent Wife from our honoured Father and a dear Mother from you and me At once fatal hour she was left a breathless Corps he a solitary Widdower and we Motherless Children What a sad and sudden change is made in Persons and Families when Death knocks at the door and enters in The Root now is dead and dry tho' the many Branches are yet spar'd For many years God continued us an entire Family The Destroying Angel that knockt at many doors visited many houses pass'd by ours When the Ax has been laid at the Root of many Families when many Branches have been lopt off and many Trees hewn and cut down we stood in the Vineyard untoucht But Death will come and a parting time will come Will come alas it is come The sweetness of her Temper the greatness of her Love the tenderness of her Affection the Grace of God in her whatever might endear a Mother rendered her company delightful and her presence a great part of our earthly happiness But God would have her home and would not that the Mansion designed for her should stand any longer empty That Body which had many Infirmities and which a-while-a-go with grief and tears we beheld pined and wasted consum'd and worn with languishing sickness is now at rest And the more noble Soul is now among the Spirits of Just men made perfect Thus hath Heb. 12. 23. her heavenly Father disposed of her and is it not time to think what is our work and duty is it to weep and mourn While she lived she was worthy to be loved and now she is dead she is worthy to be lamented and silent Tears will and may speak what words must not Hath Death remov'd and the Grave buried her out of our sight did she take leave of us with her cold and dying Lips and is she gone and must we see her no more Sad thought may we not weep and mourn we may we ought but yet there is something of greater importance that such Providences call for and should be the employment of surviving Relations The Red has been speaking and yet speaks Lord grant we may hear the Voice and understand the Language know the meaning and obey the Call of it Death hath been speaking the Grave with open mouth hath been speaking her last Sickness Decease and Funeral have been speaking O that I and you may have an Ear to hear what this Providence saith While she was with us she spent that little time and the less breath she had in speaking for God's Glory and the good of others Oh! never forget that Affectionate Exclamation Oh love the Lord all ye my Children And being dead she yet speaketh and with Heb. 11. 4. a louder Voice too She had no greater Joy than to see her Children walking in the Truth No doubt you are Children of many Prayers and Tears she travailed with you again and long'd to see Christ formed in you and I doubt not but it was a comfort to see such probable grounds to hope you were born again That you were not only born of her but born of Water and the Holy Spirit and I will venture to say she loved none so much for bearing John 3. 5. her Likeness as for having the Image of God Her highest ambition was to see you good holy and living in the Fear of God and when you were to change your condition and enter into a Married state her earnest desire was you might Marry in the Lord and be disposed of to such as might further not hinder you in the way 1 Cor. 7. 39. to Heaven it did delight her to my knowledge in her last Sickness that some of you have such Her early Instructions serious Counsels seasonable Reproofs holy Example fervent Prayers and many Tears spoke Love to your precious and Immortal Souls What but this was the Language of all Lord save me and mine too let me go to Heaven and let my dear Children follow after Be thou a God Friend and Father to me and them bind up my 1 Sam. 25. 29. Soul and the Souls of mine in the bundle of Life And now blessed be God all of this kind has not been in vain She lived to see the fruit of her labour and her Prayers in part answered and what is given I hope and I pray God it may be but the first-fruits earnest and pledge of what is yet behind Have you begun well and are you set out in your Journey to Heaven Go on and hold out Has the Spirit enlightened renewed and changed you Have you the Likeness of God and the Image of Christ Have you given up your selves in a serious and solemn manner to the Blessed Trinity Father Son and Holy Spirit Is sin your grief and burden the object of your sorrow and hatred do you oppose resist and fight against it persevere to the end and the Crown is yours Let nothing discourage you if the way be rugged and your Journey tedious if you are threatned with Storms and Tempests if you find it hard to watch and pray to wrestle and conflict to deny your selves live by Faith and perform many duties which are contrary to corrupt Nature don't faint tire and give out Heaven is at the end of your Journey and Heaven oh believe and think oft on it will make amends for all When once you are there with an over-flowing Joy will you think of these Afflictions Crosses and Disappointments for then you shall see know and be fully convinc'd that Infinite Wisdom made them all serviceable to your Eternal Welfare Tho' the flesh is pain'd and smarts yet a time will come when you shall praise your heavenly Father for seasonable Chastisements and the Discipline of his Rod. Tho' the flesh may be uneasie and the burden may pinch you tho' the Rod may make you groan and weep tho' Satan may tempt and your own hearts may be ready to question your Relation to and Covenant-Interest in
to thy holy pleasure and am entirely willingly to die now if thou think it best and most convenient my slavish fears of Death have been a pleasure to Satan a torment to my Self a dishonour to God a blemish to my Profession a disgrace to my Hopes Lord at last help me to overcome them Oh! that I could passionately long that Death would come and waft me over to yonder pure and blessed undefiled and eternal Regions while I am so excessively fond of this vain sinful and wretched life while I stand trembling and shivering on the confines of time and am loth to enter into a blessed Eâ—ernity how may all the Inhabitants above wonder at my folly Oh that my Faith Love and Hope might be increas'd and strengthned that I might pant and long wish desire and groan to be in Heaven What abundant reason O my Soul have I to be willing to dye and dye now if God so please have I not met with those crosses and disappointments with those troubles and miseries which are sufficient to wean me have I been tossed on the Waves driven by the Winds endangered by many a Storm and should I not rejoice I can see Land and am so near a quiet Harbour how oft upon the account of Temptations from â—atan Afflictions from God the Rebukes of his Providence the Hidings of his Face and the withdrawings of his Spirit have I complain'd groan'd and wept and shall I be unwilling to have my burdens removed my sorrows ended and all Tears wiped from mine Eyes is not the World mine Enemy and has it not really been unkind to me and shall I be loth to leave it amazing folly if I should live longer even till the Almond does flourish to extream Eccl. 12. 5. old Age should I not be unprofitable to others and a burden to my self and only an insignificant Cipher among my Fellow Creatures is it not better for me to die now than to live till the World is weary of me and I am weary of my self too Am I not O my Soul a Stranger and Pilgrim upon Earth am I not born from above and do I not belong to another Countrey and should not my temper be suitable to my character that is should I not be weary of my Pilgrimage and long to be at home are not Strangers and Pilgrims wont to be so our Journey say they is long and tedious oh that we were at home in our own Countrey among our own People and Kindred a stranger that hath a Journey to go would pass over it as soon as he can his thoughts mind and heart are set upon home and he longs to be there notwithstanding the conveniences and accommodations of his Inn the pleasantness of the Countrey c. yet he longs to be at home And shall I desire to be a wandring Pilgrim in this World when I might and God would have me be a setled Inhabitant in the other oh how becoming my character is it to send sighs groans and prayers as Harbingers to Heaven to tell my God I would fain be there Why do I not cry out here Woe is me I am a stranger and sojourner when shall I come to my own Countrey my Eternal Home to my Elder Brethren and Spiritual Kindred many are gone before and I follow after but blessed Jesus when shall I come to thee my God my Saviour my Hope my Treasure my Happiness my All is in another Countrey oh that I were there too how should the hardships and difficulties the ill usage and sorry entertainment I meet with in my Pilgrimage make me long for home and willing to go whenever my Heavenly Father sends for me Have I not O my Soul been pestered with sin all my life long has it not cost me many a sigh and groan tear and prayer how oft have I offended my God displeased my Father grieved my Redeemer wounded my Conscience and defiled my Heart and if I live longer shall I not sin more is there any hope sin will dye till I do and can I bear the Thought that I should for so many years yet to come offend so good a God hath not this flesh been a snare to me and this body an instrument of much evil and shall I be loth to put it off is not sin my heaviest burden my sorest Enemy have I not often said so and often cried out O wretched man Rom. 7. 23. that I am who shall deliver me from the Body of this Death and shall I be unwilling to be delivered now Criminal Hypocrisie hath not sin defiled all my powers and faculties wounded my Conscience harden'd my Heart dampt my joy disquieted my mind disturbed my peace and brought many an affliction upon my Body hath it not eclipsed the light of Gods Countenance and caused my God and Father my Redeemer and Saviour to stand afar off and shall I not be willing to dye now that I may sin no more Have not I O my Soul been designing Heaven and Praying for Heaven what is the end of all my Sacred Duties Holy Services and Religious Worship but that I may be Saved and get to Heaven and is God calling me to Heaven and shall I be loth to go and all this because this Body must dye first Heaven O my Soul what a sweet and charming word is it and what a pleasant sound does it make Heaven what an happy and desireable place is it Heaven what a delightful and ravishing Theme is this Heaven is not one Thought one single view enough to Transport with Joy and make a Man cry out oh that I were there is God now calling me to Heaven to Heaven the Throne of Divine Majesty the Presence Chamber of the Eternal King to Heaven where I shall have the Vision of God ravishing sights of the Blessed Jesus and the Company of Holy Angels and blessed Souls to Heaven that for Beauty and Glory Transcends not only all that has been seen but all that can be imagin'd shall I refuse and draw back how beautiful are these lower Heavens which are but the Porch and outward Court to the other and how much must the Third Heaven the Temple of the Divine Majesty the Habitation of Glorious Angels in â—eauty and splendor excel these is this the place I shall go to when I dye and can I with any tolerable shew of reason be unwilling to dye now ah sinful silly Soul dost thou draw back art thou unwilling to leave this body what to go to Heaven What! to go to such a glorious happy World Art thou indeed unwilling and art thou not to be blam'd Blam'd thou art for what egregious folly is this can I thus slight Heaven and not blush to think I do Moreover O my Soul If I am a Christian I have solemnly taken God for my only Portion my Ultimate End and Soveraign Happiness I love him and my Saviour above all more than Father or Mother House or Land Estate or
had a sufficient time to prepare for Death and Judgment Have not I lived long enough to make an experiment of what the World can do for me Long enough to confirm that old maxim Vanity of vanities all is vanity and is not my unwillingness to die now Eccl. 1. 2. inexcusable How shameful O my lingering Soul is it for me an old Disciple after I have been trained up in the School of Christ so many years after I have heard so many plain and convincing Lectures of the vanity of the World the certainty of Death the glory of Heaven and happiness of eternity to shrink and draw back when so many younger have chearfully submitted to the will of God! Dost thou not O my Soul by this time see there is reason why thou should'st be willing now to put off this earthly Tabernacle Let me now hear what thou canst object against this which is thy duty honour and interest Am I loth to die now because I shall leave relations who have their dependance on me and to whom I have been useful Foolish talk cannot God who provided for 'em by take care of them without me And if they are his will he not Cannot God who is the Fountain be better than I who am but a Cistern and a broken Cistern too May I not leave my solitary Widow and Fatherless children with God Am I loth to die now because I must take my final leave of Friends and Relations whom I have lov'd with whom I have liv'd and conversed with much delight Foolish Soul loth to leave them what to go to God Christ and company infinitely better to enjoy which for one hour is much better than to enjoy theirs for an age Am I unwilling to die now because of those pains and pangs those sharp conflicts and agonies I must endure before body and Soul do part Fond reasoning must not these pains be endured at one time or other will not Death be Death that is be attended with some pains whenever it comes Had I not better take heart and undergo them once and that now than be terrified many years longer with the fears and melancholy prospect of them Will not these pains be my last and when they are over and in a few hours they will shall not I be at perfect ease and rest Hath God done and the blessed Jesus suffered so much for me Is Heaven so blessed and glorious a place that it transcends all I can imagin And shall I make excuses and frame Apologies resist and struggle be backward and unwilling to endure a little pain that I might go to God and Christ and be in Heaven Have not many endured more and greater pain in hope of less advantage Have I not a Saviour who experimentally knows what it is to be pain'd and die to stand by succour support and assist me in this terrible passage from Time to Eternity Finally O my trembling Soul may not the pains of that hour be much less than I fear think and apprehend they will be Am I loth to die now because this body must go to the grave rot and putrifie and lie a long time among Worms Fond affections to a lump of Clay is this the reason of my unwillingness O wretched sinful Soul where 's thy Faith concerning that fundamental Article the Reâ—urrection of the Dead Is not Christ risen and shall not they that sleep in Christ rise too Will not the glorious morning quickly dawn Will not the day of redemption of the body ere long come And shall not this Body this very Body of mine be quickned raised and in all respects be much better than now it is Will it not be a Beautiful and Comely a Strong and Healthful a Powerful and Active a Spiritual and Immortal Body Will not a time come when our last enemy DEATH shall be destroyed and mortality be swallowed up of LIFE When I shall sleep in the dust I shall not think the time long and when my Lord shall come and the trumpet sound and arise ye Dead shall be spoken by the mighty and powerful Jesus shall I not live and dye no more Therefore let me be willing to die once and since I must once let me be willing to die now What is there O my Soul in this vain wretched and sinful World that I should desire to stay yet longer in it What is this Flesh this Body that I should be loth to lay it in the grave What can be frightful and terrible in death since Christ hath conquer'd disarm'd it and taken out the sting What is there in the other World I am so loth to go unto it Have not I sinn'd and suffer'd sorrow'd and griev'd groan'd and wept long enough already Have I not been afflicted tempted and buffeted long enough already Why do I not long for deliverance Look O my Soul Heaven is prepared the gates are open and there 's a mansion for thee Hearken listen thy God thy Jesus calls saying come Christian come away from a dark and sinful miserable and defiled World to this World of Life Light and Love Angels and Saints O my Soul are longing for thy arrival with one consent they wish thee safely landed The former are ready to be thy convoy to yonder glorious World the latter with a triumphant joy will welcome thee as soon as ever thou comest thither Linger no longer but go out O my Soul go out with Joy and Triumph My God hath prepared Heaven for me an happiness beyond infinitely beyond all my thoughts hopes and wishes an happiness that will amaze and transport me as soon as ever I am landed on that blessed shore an happiness that is perfect without any defect and eternal without any end My blessed and loving Jesus hath by his sufferings blood-shed and Death purchased Heaven and a Mansion for me What a glorious blessed Heaven must that be which was the purchase of such sacred pretious and invaluable blood is Heaven the purchase of my Saviours warmest blood Excellent place This all this am I now called to take possession of but oh how loth and unwilling am I to go it is my sin my shame and folly that I am so pardon pity and help me Lord I have been speaking to my self chiding reproving blaming and persuading this sinful silly and backward heart of mine but to what little purpose And now dear Lord I turn my self and speak to thee for I shall never be willing except thy Spirit and Grace make me so I see that Heaven is on the other side but yet how loth am I to step into a dark cold and solitary grave I am convinc'd that Heaven is better than Earth that it is worth a dying to go to God and Christ and yet I cannot ah what a sinful wretched heart have I I cannot long and wish to die Oh pardon my lothness and backwardness and give me a more humble obedient submissive and resigning frame that if this Cup