Cloris please Let Cloris Smile on any Swain For I have got my Heart again And am at Ease My dear fair Cheat Can Love one hour And Hate next minute Love 's no power There 's nothing in it But deceit Yet how you 've sworn Your chast desire Like Vestal fire Should ever burn But now I find She I Lov'd best Is like the rest Of fickle Womankind This hour Yo 've lost your power Now your Smiles no Magick have Now you may Frown And I ne're Swoon Alas Your Charms I brave I 've been betray'd By a very pretty Maid But am no more her Slave Cloris Whilst Damon was to Cloris true E're my false one Thirsis knew Were we not then a happy Pair Da. We were Clo. We were Da. We were Clo. We were Chorus We were then a happy Pair Clo. Peace of mind So refin'd Sure on earth was never known Ne're desiring Or admiring Any Heaven but our own Each moment I dy'd with the thought of the Bliss And you breath'd a new Soul with each life-giving Kiss Da. When panting and fainting to Cloris I kneel'd How dear were her smiles and how sweetly they kill'd Then you bless'd me As you kiss'd me But even then deceiv'd me too Clo. As you us'd me so I use you Da. Is 't true Clo. 'T is true Da. Is 't true Clo. 'T is true 't is too too true Da. Then Cloris adieu Clo. Then farewel you Da. Farewel Clo. Farewel c. Clo. Adieu farewel you Adieu Exeunt severally The Second Part of the Dialogue between the Third and Fourth Acts. Enter Damon and Cloris meeting one the other Damon WELL Cloris How find you your self sinâ—… you 're free Cloris My Heart leaps for joy Dâ—… It 's just so with me Clo. Since then from the cares of Love we are free Da. And the doubts and the torments of curs'd Iealousy Clo. How happy are we Da. How happy are we Chorus Sure nothing can be no nothing can be no no no nothing can be So pleasant so pleasant as our Liberty Both going off Damon returns Damon But hold e're we part What think you of this The Love 's we began mayn't we end with one Kiss What says angry Cloris Cloris Why Cloris says Cloris says Yes Salutes her during the Ritarnello Da. Kneeling ' Can I no way deserve to have one Salute more Clo. ' No Damon no more I cannot I may not ' I dare not bestow any more Aside ' For should I give one I should never give o're Da. ' Oh let me one Kiss one soft Kiss more steal Clo. ' No not while you to my proud Rival kneel Da. ' But say if I my wandring heart ' For Love of you call home again ' Could you from your new Choice depart ' And turn to your repenting Swain Clo. ' Were Cerydon brighter than the day ' Fairer than the Milky way ' Damon the Coursest of the Swains but True ' I 'd quit him and all the World for you ' I would Live with my Damon in a Desart alone ' And envy no Monarch the empty delights of his ' Throne Chorus Then let 's haste Love sweets to taste Whilst God's above Envâ—…ing our Love Desire to know The more than Heavenly Ioys we taste below Clo. Let Love's Lambent fire Inflame our desire Da. Then let Cupid's dart Now wound your soft heart Clo. I do 't e're we part Da. Will you do it e're we part Clo. Indeed now I will Da. Indeed Clo. Ay indeed now indeed I 'll do 't e're we part Chorus We 'll do 't e're we part we 'll do 't e're we part Dramatis Personae Men  By Gripe A Merchant Old Testy Lascivious and Miserable Mr. Iohnsâ—… Peregrine His Son in Love with Eugenia Mr. Mills Trusty A good natur'd old Gentleman Plotting for the good of his Nephew to whom he was a Guardian and a tender Uncle Mr. Simpson Manley His Nephew Contracted to Clarinda Mr. Harland Swash A true Country Squire that makes Recreations his business Mr. Lee. Sharper A broken Shopkeeper his Follower Treacherous and Hypocritical Mr. Powell Busy An ignorant Rhodomontade Captain of the Militia Mr. Haynes Freeman A Gentleman of a loose Temper Mr. Williams Nic Froth A Cheating Spunging Innkeeper Mr. Penkethman Shuffle And Cunningham Attornies Cheating and Mercenary Mr. Bullock A Parson Four Bailiffs Fowler and other Attendants Women  By Clarinda The Daughter of Gripe a Vertuous Lady Mrs. Temple Eugenia A Vertuous Lady Manley's Sister Mrs. Andrews Sue Froth's Wife Cunning Imperious and Impudent Mrs. Lucas Margaret A Wench kept by Freeman Mrs. Mills Maid  Mrs. Unwin SCENE CORNWAL THE Cornish Comedy ACT I. SCENE I. Enter Gripe Peregrine and Clarinda Cla. MArried Sir and to morrow say you Gri. And pray Why not to morrow as well as to morrow twelvemonth What have young Maids to do but to obey their Father's commands I will defer the matter no longer Per. Will you force Consent Sir and Inclination Gri. Consent Sir Cannot her Father tell what is fittest for her to consent to But Sons think it their greatest glory if they can contradict or teach their Fathers The one is no wit unless the other be upbraided and called Fool or Knave at least by inference Per. Sir I have done Gri. As I expected the Father no sooner speaks but the Son thinks his breath too good to be spent in such company Per. Would you permit me Sir I would declare my mind at large Gri. Under Articles since it must be so proceed with your Predicables and Predicaments and other Items in abundance Per. By Natures dictate each may chuse his Mate Man Beast and Bird and all that Generate Each Male his Female liberty is Bliss And full content's a perfâ—…ct Paradice Gri. Rhimes never stir Rhimes out of the School of Vertue or some such precious Author let the young Girls loose to temptation they 'l soon conceive the dictates of Nature I tell you Friend I will maintain no Bastards Per. My Sister Sir I trust is Chaste and Vertuous Gri. So are all young Women until they are tempted a Woman's Chastity is not from her vertuous will or inclination but because she hath not the power or opportunity to be otherwise give her her wing fancy will work a pace and the first Gay Modish Spark with long Beau Peruke and gawdy Snuff-box may manage her at pleasure Per. By Nature all things covet liberty but you compare your Childrento the Beasts and because some of each Sex are brutal condemn the whole as if there were none but a compelled Chastity You make the Jewel Vertue a privation who e're she grant a Wedlock first causes a liking then the noble passion Love which once ingrafted in the Soul the Marriage proves for ever comfortable Gri. If it be once ingrafted in the Soul 't will not be long e're it get into the Body Under what circumstances is your Vertue then Boy Let the most transported Lover have but
is doubly welcome Busy Nay then Courage fall on Madam your Slave A brave plump Wench and kisseth rarely I 'll warrant her a delicate Bedfellow in a Frosty Morning Salutes her Freem I doubt Neice we have disturbed you Marg. No no dear Sir my Steward being returned from keeping my Courts I had a mind to learn what he had done I think 't was almost over Rent all Shuff To a small matter Marg. Leave it to some other opportunity Busy To what a Mass of Wealth and Honour am I growing Aside Freem This Gentleman my Worthy Honourable Friend is come to kiss your Hand and if he Court you Treat him Civilly I am desirous he should be your Husband Busy Well said Lieutenant he doth not beat about the Bush but falls immediately upon the point and since 't is so well begun now for Lies and Flatteries in abundance Aside Fame Madam having talked so loud in your praise I had a greedy desire to view the Original imparting this to your Uncle he brought me hither and now I find what I have heard comes short of what I see Mine Eyes no sooner saw but my Heart was in a Flame it heaves it beats it trembles I 'm all over Pulse and in a perfect Agony The Devils in 't if this be not expressed like a true Lover Aside Freem The Woodcock comes on apace Aside Marg. I doubt Sir you are more in love with what you heard than what you fee. Busy She is in the right of it tho' I must pretend otherwise Aside No Madam no tho' what I heard is much beyond my poor deserts 't is you 't is only you your Person I adore Know I abhor that petty paltry Pelf let it be gone all vanish into Air. Let my Dear Love my Saint my Idol be only Armed Cap A Pe with nakedness Tho' I say it my self and tho' it be a damned Lye 't was a lively expression I Appeal to any Man that understands Courtship and Lying Asidâ—… Marg. I Vow 't is a pretty Gentleman Seemingly aside Busy Is he so Aside I love you Madam beyond all the World from these fair Eyes these Ruby charming Lips I Panting wait my doom Marg. Oh! were it true he says Busy True Madam Is it the Sun that Rules the Day The Moon and Stars that Guide the Night 'T is easier to make the high Alps Navâ—…gable or stop the raging motions of the Winds or Seas than to divert or rather quench my Love Oh my Dear Saint didst thou but know the secret Flames within my Breast do glow you would not be so cruel so hard hearted She trembles He takes her by the hand Marg. Oh! I am lost Falls into a Swoon Freem Captain you are fortunate the Fort is won Busy If I had her in private I 'de quickly bring her to her right Senses Freem She revives again How do ye Neice Marg. A Devil Gnaws and Tears my Breast Busy 'T is a very good natured Devil he is pleading my Cause this is the first Service he ever did me Freem Come come you can no longer hide it I see you love the Captain Marg. I know not but I find I cannot hate him Freem Take her to Morrow she shall be your Bride Busy Which Gift I joyfully receive Marg. I am all obedient to my Uncles Pleasure but why so sudden I have no new Cloaths Busy No matter we put 'em all off when we go to Bed 'T is better far than seven years a Cooing Billing and other formal acts of Wooing Blest is the Match that is not long a doing Exeunt SCENE III. A Garden Enter Sue Froth alone Sue I have locked up my young Rival in her Chamber there let her wallow on her Bed in Meditation whilst I receive my due a ripe Age this that a Girl not past fifteen should pretend to years of Discretion and with my Husband too what will this World come to Well I 'll go and defeat his expectations A Rascal debauch his own Maid Exit Enter Swash in his Wastcoat and Drawers Swa. All lost all gone my Mistress my Money my Cloaths and Sharper has left me No Friend to a Man in Adversity All my Jewels Sacrificed Cut-throat Fencer Warriour Dangerfield and the rest of their Honourable and Worthy Brethren disfigured and by Treachery put one against the other and all in Battel slain the whole Generation Root and Branch cut off in the prime of their years Trey and Cater murthered I had as good go home and hang all the Hounds and make a clear House 'T is wondrous dark I must endeavour to find out my way to some lodging Exit the same way Enter Froth alone Fro. Now for my Assignation with my little Harlot and now Madam Susanna I stand in defiance of your Cudgel if variety be so good 't is necessary I sometimes humour my nice Pallate I will therefore Solace my self in change of Love But hold Nicholas look before you leap suppose in the abundance of thy Affection she should Conceive and should have issue by thee thy Wife Susanna will Confiscate thee to all Intents and Purposes A bad business I 'll go no further But hold sweet Nicholas one word more thy little Damosel of Delight now in the Cold expecting thee should she grow Sick and Die by this disappointment The case is altered again therefore I will proceed What tho' there be a Child or Children of the Body of the said Nicholas Froth upon the Body of his said Servant Maid begotten or to be begotten She shall name no Father and some of my Wives Customers shall pay for the maintenance or what if it pass for Nicholas Froth's Child All these things impartially considered a decree passeth that I stand firmly to my first resolutions may it therefore please your Ladyship Mrs. Wife to excuse my personal attendance for the present Exit Swash meets him he starts back in a fright Ha! The Devil I see his Cloven Foot he hath been before me and made the first cut in the Pye Had I disturbed him he had certainly torn me pieces O poor Creature thou art finely pepper'd Swa. Searching my way and opening a little Door I entred and immediately a Woman with her Arms clapped me about the Neck I soon found it a Banquet of Love prepared for another Man without saying Grace I fell too to her satisfaction as well as mine own I hope However this is some Comfort in the midst of my troubles Exit Fro. Is he gone He hath cooled my courage yet I am in a Sweat he talked methoughts very merrily therefore I judge he hath been playing the Rogue what a brave opportunity have I lost curs'd disappointment Enter Sus. Froth Sus. My Nicholas is a very kind Husband upon occasion but why he went off so soon I cannot imagine Certainly he could not discover me I hear some one one tread Who 's there Fro. Ha! Sus Now have I been Cuckolded by the Devil If she hath conceiv'd
her so she told me you Loved her not but thought her False then nobly Vow'd she 'd die to be believ'd Man Unkle you blow the Coals afresh I 'm more a fire than ever Tr. And can you Love Clarinda heartily Man Is that become a question You know till death I must Tr. Love on Man How Tr. Love on Clarinda shall be thine maugre what Gripe and Swash and all can do Whispers Free The old Gentleman I know hath too great a kindness for him to abuse him yet to me this discourse seems as if it would make him fit for Bedlam 't is all a mystery Man Sir You tell me impossibilities Tr. It 's a certain truth I 'll tell you more anon Mr. Freeman you are Melancholy Free Manley bear up between an Old Man and a Young Woman I reckon thou art in the high road of Madness Enter Boy Boy Captain Busy is without desires admittance Exit Boy Man Wait on him in he pretends Love to my Sister prithee Tom help me to abuse him Tr. Give him free liberty he 'll do it himself sufficiently now for a Lecture of Discipline provide for his coming you 'll be both Exercised â—…ee He won't Beat us Tr. No no only teach you the Postures he carries a book in his Pocket out of which he is always practising Free Is he a good Soldier Tr. A Militia Officer but a great Blunderer no more he comes Enter Captain Busy Man Noble Captain you are welcome Bus. Your Servant Mr. Manley though late I was resolved to call in my way home Man No Complements amongst Friends good Captain you are welcome here at any hour Bus. I was detained about a troublesome business I have been sitting upon the great Rate Man 'T is well known you were ever zealous in publick matters Commissioners ought to be so Bus. A Hangman might hope for some end of his business some Fools make the matter as intricate as the Learned Doctors Scriblings are about Religion no man can tell what they would be at Tr. But you brought off all with good success Bus. Thank Patience and a good Head one cries the Seas are block'd up and we have no Trade therefore we must not be too severe to the Country another That Money is scarce and other Counties don't come up to our proportion I told them plainly They that were not for giving this King Money were for bringing in the other at last I had my way and the thing was Signed according to my mind Man But Captain here 's an old Friend of mine if you are not provided you had best take him for your Lieutenant Bus. Is he a Soldier Man The best in the Country Free What dost mean I 'll discover my ignorance Aside Man Peace put on an impudent face thou wilt pass muster Impudence is as requisite in a Soldier as in a Lawyer or a Physitian if you have good stock you are noted and admired but want that want all Bus. If your Friend will accept of a Lieutenancy of the Militia I have a blank Commission but first I must exercise him Free Captain I understand no more than a Maypole Bus. No matter I 'll teach you one Officer of understanding is enough for one Company but now I think on 't I have some Neighbours without that wait for me I 'll call 'em in you shall see them Exercise A Posture-Dance in imitation of Soldiers Exercise Free This is excellent a man may venture to fight with these Weapons without danger of death or breaking of Bones Bus. To tell you the truth I don't think the Militia is oblig'd to fight they are intended I suppose more for show than service when the French Burnt Tinmouth the Posse led the Van the Militia the Rear Tr. Because the Militia is the standing Guard of the Nation 〈◊〉 Methinks Captain â—…tis reasonable we should earn our Pay I am for Fighâ—…ing Bus. The Fellow is the fitter for my service though Valour in two Officers be too much for one Company yet 't is convenient there should be one such Officer I for Conduct he for Courage I defie the whole Regiment to match us He hopes for Pay let him I could never see any such thing I believe it may be converted to other Uses Asiâ—… But where is the fair Eugenia I must kiss her hand before I sleep Man I had forgot to tell you Captain that a brisk young Gentleman hath brought his Forces before the Town and swears he 'll take it by Storm or by Siege Bus Dare any person be so Impudent Dost thou not feel me yet not yet Blusters Though Hills were set on Hills and Seas met Seas yet would I reach thine head thine head proud Ha! Starts Eâ—…ter Peregrine leading Eugenia Frâ—… Now is your time Captain for if her flag of Truce be put up there will be a speedy end of the Siege Bus. Madam your humble Servant Now for my great and manly looks to put him out of countenance Salutes and looks big Hark ye Sir Have you any Acquaintance with this Lady Per. Darest thou Thing ask me such a Question Turns to him Bus Thing Dux ducis a Duco a Thing If I run him through before he turn his face I 'll venture to fight with him afterwards Draws and runs at Per. Eug. skreâ—…ks Per. looks about steps back and draws Eug. Look to your life Peregrine Per. Behind my back Cowards are ever mischievous now I am ready for you Makes up to him Bus. Will no body part us Locks back oâ—…r his Shoulder I am slain Lets his Sword fall and falls on his Back Per. 'T is with your fear then I had not time to touch thee However I 'll make bold with your Sword to prevent future mischief Tr. You may rise Captain you have no hurt let me help you Tr. helps Bus. I 'm sure I felt the Sword pass through the Triangle of my Heart What tho you see no Blood 't is a sign of the greatest danger when the Wound bleeds inwardly Tr. You have no Wound Bus That you saw I felt it I 'm sure or I was sore mistaken Where is this Lieutenant of mine that could see his Captain slain before his face and not revenge his Blood I think he 'll prove a special Officer Fr. Man to man 't would have been Cowardize to have interpos'd Bus. I must be kill'd to make you sport Here 's a Dog deserves to be hang'd for not following the example of his Superiour Officer It is for thee dear Sâ—…int the Love of thee I suffer all these evils To Eugenia Eug. For me I am not worthy of such respect from a Person of your Quality Bus. Pretty Creature thou hast some Compassion Takes her by the hand Pâ—…r Tho' I could pardon your cowardly aiming to take away my life I cannot allow such familiarity with my Mistress Twinges him by the Nose and turns him back Bus. Disarm'd and twing'd by the Nose Nature was too niggardly
stand we here for If you have any Gentleman to send for we 'l ' stay a while at Nich Froths 't is pity such a fine Gentleman should be in trouble but 't is no fault of ours Swa. Carry me where you will I am careless how the world goes Sharper Why dost weep Sharper To see so good a Master so inhumanly used 't will break my heart to see you in Prison never had good Gentleman such bad fortune Sharper weeps Swa. Prithe don't weep thou makes me melancholy to see thee poor fellow he loves me dearly Aside Shar I 'll never leave you whilst I have Life or Limb. Exit with Swash and Bailiffs Shuff Have you any service to command me to Captain Spalding Gr. These accidents have so disordered me I know not what to resolve on step in and call my Daughter hither but here she comes with her Brother Enter Peregrine and Clarinda dressed like a Bride Thou art early trimnâ—…d for Wedlock my Clarinda how Gay a Match is no 〈◊〉 agreed on and the Wedding appointed but the Woman is so taken up with the thoughts of the time to come that she never resteth till her fancy be fulfill'd Cla. My Father talking thus to himself I doubt he is not well Gr. I vow I am very wantonly inclin'd this morning and feel a tickling in my Veins like a Boy of Twenty Hey sound and hearty yet oh for a sprightly Young Girl to comfort my Old Spirits I would give her a broad side and launch into the deep Ha! never stir that word hath put me in mind of my Tinnwork again now on a sudden am I become as cold and as dull as a Bridegroom after the first week therefore exit Love and enter Business You Fellow withdraw I would have some private Conference with my Son and Daughter Exit Shuff Per. Are you not well dear Father You seem much discomposed Gr. So would'st thou had'st thou a Daughter to dispose of she must be Married and she must not be Married she shall be Married and she shall not be Married I don't know what to do with her Per. So unsettl'd and unresolv'd you would make me think you were in a frenzy Gr. Yes fellows of your Age always think their Fathers Mad till they are Buried Per. Pray Sir let me know the disquiets of your mind Gr. Wilt thou assist me Per. Sir to the hazard of my Life I will Gr. I know not how to bestow thy Sister Per. Is she not this day to be Married to the Squire Swash You told her so last evening Cla. My Passion Sir submitting to my Duty I am all Obedience to your positive Commands Gr. Good if a man promise these wanton Rogues a Husband they 'll be sure to call him to an account for a strict performance Aside Manley at last must Marry thee Clarinda Cla. Then you abuse the Noble Squire Gr. She pleads for him I was to blame to raise her expectation if they have sealed the Bargain by an Ante nuptial Fornication I have finely studied the Politicks Aside Swash is carried away to Prison by Four Bailiffs therefore he must not Marry thee Cla. I am sorry for that Sir Gr. What makes thee sorry ha Cla. My Charity Gr. Charity 't is thy folly by some called good nature which brings folks to Beggery no thou ne'er shalt Marry that Fop as long as I live Cla. Sir I heartily thank your Promise and here I make a solemn Vow I never will be his Wife Gr. Clarinda you must now renew all your Charms and strive by Words and Actions to reclaim Manley Your attractive faculty hath force enough to reduce him Cla. With scorns and slights he hath been so provoked I doubt the task will prove too difficult for my weak power Per. Love abused turns to hatred Clarinda must walk warily Gr. Let her alone dissimulation especially in love-affairs is a vertue inherent to that Sex I know his Tâ—…mper give him a fair opportunity and my life he takes it therefore omit no artifice that may reclaim him I would not for the world lose this happy Match I am now so far from being jealous of thee that I heartily wish you were a Bed together Per. And that may be before you are aware Aside Gr. Oh my dear Clarinda little think'st thou what pains what fears what doubts what jealousies we careful Parents labour under to bestow our Children well may thy designs and undertakings prosper Cla. Pray Heaven it end so well Aside Enter Trusty Manley Eugenia Freeman as to the Wedding Gr. My Friends and Neighbours a hearty welcome to you all Man We thank you Sir Madam a good day Cla. The same attend you Sir Gr. Well said Clarinda thou art my own Flesh and Blood how they stare and gaze ay ay 't is so their hearts are renewing acquaintance Man The Bride 's prepared for Marriage Where is the Bridegroom Cla. Not far since you are here Gr. That 's my Jewel that was a bold stroke and home to the purpose I wonder the phlegmatick Dog doth not leap at the bait time was when I would have made better use of such an opportunity I fear he has heard the news and so draws off Enter Shuffle like a Post. Shuff By your leave Gentlemen Is one Mr. Manley here Man My Name is Manley Shuff I have a Letter for you Delivers a Letter Man 'T is Budele's hand Opens and Reads Gr. It is his intelligence this is the beginning of my ruin I have not yet made my Bargain and now my Daughter will be left upon my hands Aside Man This for the Postage bring confirmation I ask no more of Fortune Sir Will you see it Gives Money Gives the Leteer to Trusty Tr. Beyond imagination a rich Load cut but Two days since and yesterday a hundred load at Grass I never heard the like success Gr. The poor Labourers kill themselves Oh pity pity I Aside Per. Good news from your Tinn-work Sir I joy in the success Man I thank you Sir but your Father hath ill fortune for which I am sorry Shuff I 'll in and uncase for fear of a discovery Aside Exit Gr. I can no longer hear this discourse here is no Wedding to day nor like to be with Squire Swash which may prove to the advantage of some one present if he please to understand it Clarinda make your Friends wellcome I 'll in and cool my self and then dispatch my Letters Exit Cla. You see my Father begins to be reconciled Smiling Man I 'll after and invite him to the wedding Tr. You then destroy your Sister's Match 't is dangerous medling with a Lion till he be securely chained You match to day they stay but one day longer out of a vehement desire of revenge he shall devest himself of all to Peregrine Per. and my fidelity to the fair Eugenia need not be mistrusted Eug. Young Men are ever constant till they have a fairer purchase or a better opportunity Enter
Humphry Manley Esq Deceased Gri. Ha! Cheated again I have but two Children in the World a Rogue and a Whore A hopeful pair never stir but where is friend Cuningame now where is he Tru. He and Shuffle like Physitians to a Languishing Patient are both slip'd away before the Death-fit comes Gri. Friend Cuningame a Knave Then I think all the World are so Enter Parson which Manley seeing takes Clarinda by the hand both kneel What more tricks still never stir you won't Marry her will you Mr. Manley Man That I did yesterday this honest Parson joyn'd our hands our Hearts long since united Gri. Never stir If it were in Lawful Matrimony 't is so much the better Are you really a Priest Sir Par. At present only a Journey-man of the Church a Curate of the next Parish I hope in time to obtain a Benefice and then I shall be finisher of the Work Gri. And grow as Fat and Lazy as the rest of thy Brethren Aside Did you Marry this pair Par. I join'd their Hands and tyed 'em by the Tongue and gave 'em a Spiritual Commission to act other things if they pleased Gri. A bold venture Mr. Manley what will become of her Portion now Man I 'll make Provision for your Daughter out of my own Estate as your Son must for his now Eugenia Tru. And since thou beginnest to be somewhat reconciled to these Matches and to make Manley the more deserving thy Clarinda I 'll immediately settle my Estate one half to my Nephew in Possession in Fee simple and the remainder after my death Man You were always a Father to me Gri. I vow I think thou wilt prove an honest fellow at last Heavens bless you all I am heartily reconciled to ye I am heartily glad that my Children prove to be Cheats convincing Arguments to me that what ever betides after my death they 'll be able to shift in the World Aside And to say Truth the Father was the fittest to begin with 't is reckon'd no Sin at least a very small one to cheat Parents and Conscience is not prick'd till fully feared Moreover Clarinda proves to be honest I am now as mad for Joy as I was some minutes since for Sorrow Trust. And is not this better than Wedding her to that Weather-cock one that would have allow'd her no other Company than her Servants He is such a Slave to his Recreations he hath hardly time to sleep and all the Satisfaction she should have wou'd be to lie by a belching strong Beer or Brandy-Cask who no sooner wakes but exit and you hear no more of him till after midnight again Gri. I understand you Sir I have not paid you my thanks for helping to cheat me I am your obliged Friend and humble Servant Sir Parson I must have this other Pair match'd too therefore beware we don't miss the Canonical Hour Par. The Canonical Hour shall be at your Service till midnight Enter Busy leading Margaret Freeman Sharper Froth and his Wife Here come some that have been with me for a Cast of my Office before Freem The Captain 's married to this Lady Busy Yes Gentlemen and Ladies I am marry'd Trust. I heartily wish you Joy she is a great Fortune and the fittest Wife for you that I know She must needs understand her Exercise she hath been bred under a good Officer any time these seven years Busy What 's the meaning of this Freeman Freem Nothing but a Banter he only envies your Fortune Enter Swash Swa. I have had but a scurvy Night on 't every one that met me shunn'd me for a Ghost at last by great difficulty I got into a Hay-loft poor and cold Lodging for a Person of my Quality Gri. How now Squire stript as if you intended for a Race I wish you may make more speed about your next Mistress this is marry'd before you come Swa. I did suppose some such thing by the Arrest Gri. Every particular both as to the Arrest and Marriage were without my Consent or Knowledge Swa. Your Daughter marry'd without your Consent Gri. And bedded too Between 'em they have cheated me of all Swa. A blessed deliverance If she consent to cheat her Father she will make no scruple to abuse her Husband and Marriage at the best is but a bitter Sweet Sharper thou Villain art thou there Shar Pray Sir be not angry every Age and Country produces Precedents innumerable for what I have done it hath been the practise of many ingenious Servants of all Qualities to build their Fortunes on the Ruins of their Masters Swa. I 'll home and study the two great Businesses of Mankind Interest and Dissimulation I find 't is to no purpose to perswade a Woman against her own Inclinations Madam I wish you joy Cla. I heartily thank you Noble Squire Swa. In the midst of all my Misfortunes one very pleasant Accident befel me rambling last Evehing in the dark I crept into a little Door where I found a Woman waiting with a Stock of Love for another Man I quickly reap'd the Crop rusht from her satisfy'd with such a pleasant Plunder Per. Do you know the Woman Swa. No indeed Sus. I am glad of that however Aside Froth Pray Mrs. Wife with humble submission be it spoken do you understand the meaning of this Did Nicholas Froth Cuckold himself or no Sus. Peace what was done was thine own seeking and can't now be prevented therefore no more words of that matter Fro. I will declare thy Infamy in the face of the whole Word O yes Sus. I must speak him fair or he will out with it in earnest Aside Sweet Nicholas be silent Fro. Do you begin to alter your Tone If I grant Peace it shall be on very honourable Conditions Imprimis will you Cuckold me no more Sus. No Nicholas no. Fro. Nor keep a Conventicle of Whoremasters Sundays Afternoon about Business to the Dishonour of my Person and Profession Sus. No Nicholas no. Fro. Wilt thou henceforth be dutiful and obedient to the just and lawful Commands of thy Supreme and Soveraign Lord thy Husband Sus. Yes Nicholas yes Fro. As long as you faithfully keep your Promises I will be silent but no longer Swa. Who is that with the Captain Per. His Lady they were Marry'd this morning Swa. 'T is our old Dairy-maid Peg we have been very familiar seven years ago Busy Ha! this is very suspicious Freem Now all will out Children and Fools speak Truth Aside Swa. Freeman hath kept her these two Years to my knowledge Busy Is this true Mr. Freeman Freem I cannot deny the matter of Fact undermining and counterming belonging to the Art Military I thought fit to practise upon you that you might instruct me if I acted amiss Trust. This Discourse makes you melancholy Captain Busy So it would any Man in my Condition This comes of Pride and Covetousness the singular Vertues of Mankind Where are now my Welsh Manors and Bartons Plantations c. Poor Captain Busy thou wer 't never beaten at this Weapon before Freem Give me Two hundred pound in hand to maintain the Child and 40 l. per Annum to the Wench for Life for separate maintenance I 'll take 'em off your hands Busy Two hundred pound Fine and 40 l. Rent to be Cuckold for Life If Whoremasters be Christians have a little more Conscience in your ways Freem I am very indifferent whether you accept the Offer or not therefore expect no abatement hitherto I have born the expence of my Pleasure I intend now to share the Profit and you shall pay for nibling Busy These be your floating Islands and Plantations I might have consider'd foreign Wealth shrinks in Carriage My hand is in the Lion's mouth I must agree with him Enter Musick A Drum beat without Mus. Understanding of a Wedding we come to present you with a Sett of Musick Gri. With all my heart we 'll have a Song and a Dance and then to Church and say our Prayers very devoutly A Song and a Dance Freem You have had time to consider Captain what 's your Resolution Busy I do comply Come 't is a Bargain Freem While they go Church we will go to Nich. Froth's and confirm it We are all Friends and since the Bargain 's made From this time forth I will forswear the Trade EPILOGUE Spoken by Miss CHALKE Seven Years Old Written by Mr. HAYNES I Have a Secret I wou'd fain disclose To the Pretty Witty Gentlemen call'd Beaus 'T is this If you will spare our Poet's Play to night Altho' at present I can't do ye right You shall have my First Fruits when I 'm a Woman As I hope to be sav'd I never yet knew no Man No truly now I 'm so ignorant of Sin or Schism I hardly yet can say my Catechism I 'm mightily giv'n to play and that 's a Fault I 'll mend a-pace tho' I won't be always naught I live you know where I can't but be well Taught I 've learn'd so much already behind the Scenes I know what a Billette Doux and Ogling means I know what Man keeps Somebody nay I know more I know she that will Kiss for Money is a Whore Let the Men-Players leave off when they will Our Maiden Gentlewomen will scarce lie still Nay you may laugh at a young Innocent Creature But I know more than you think tho' of the matter I know the World 's a Stage and do not wrong ye You 're better Actors there than we 're among ye Because to act you's not so hard a Task As 't is for you to act a Vizard Mask If we give Place to you 't will make no strife We only Copy you Draw to the Life What is 't I don't know unless it be the THING For which the Beggar 's equal to the King But if that want of Knowledge be a Transgression I 'll know that too at Years of Discretion Mean time if you 'll excuse the Errours of this Play When I 'm Fourteen it shall be more in your way I can't please now as well as Eight Years hence But if you Men of Love are Men of Sence As an Old Nurse instructs a Smickering Maid When she sits stroaking little MARK of Lad My Penny'll show ye how a Shilling's made FINIS