truth Another reason why many Saints were so deceived in those daies as I apprehend was That they being but newly come to the faith were expos'd to great temptations having but little means of strength against them it may be far from a Church or else in a Church where were false Teachers as in those dayes there were very many by reason of which many were deceived whereas others who were as weak if not weaker being in Churches where there were sound Teachers were kept from them which may be a caution as to particular persons to take heed what and whom they hear so to Churches who they permit to be Teachers and not to suffer any unsound doctrine to be taught It may also be a word of remembrance to all that do enjoy this great mercy to have sound and faithful Teachers highly to esteem them for their works sake and to account such worthy of double honour giving them all due respect and encouragement that they may do their work with joy and not with grief according to Hebrews 13. 17. 1 Thessal 5. 12 13. 1 Timothy 5. 17. Other reasons may be given for the Saints mistake in those things but I shall mention no more intending only my own experience For I can truly say that upon a diligent search and enquiry what might be the cause of my own mistakes I find them to be no other but these very things exprest As First I was weak in principles as indeed I had never been under much means to be otherwise Secondly I am conscious to my self of some extreme in minding truth as it relates to the inward man though truly I know not that I did slight any Ordinance or command of Christ but that I did rather highly esteem of them but not to lessen sin it is possible there may be something of that nature though I know it not Thirdly I am sure I was exposed to great temptations of this kind having little means of strength against them finding so many corrupted though through mercy it is better now that breach being made up with great advantage for which I desire with all Saints to praise the Lord for ever for doubtless the Saints advantage in their enlarged experience and confirmation in the truth is so great by these things that I cannot expres it Again it calls for praise that as the Lord hath turned it to our great advantage so he hath wonderfully disappointed the expectations of the devil and wicked men who were ready to say as in Psa 35. 25. All so would we have it verily concluding that though they could not suppress us by their persecuting power yet now we would destroy our selves as indeed we might have so done had not the Lord prevented and we may say it was the Lords doing and it is marvellous in our eyes And whereas some by reason of those things have been ready to question our practice whether it be of God Let them know that there is no ground from thence to question it seeing it is no more than what hath been in those Churches in the Apostles daies and what they did foretell should be in these daies 1 Corinth 15. 12. 1 Timothy 1. 19. 2 Timothy 2. 18. 2 Peter 2. 12. Acts 20. 30. But if it were a safe ground to judge of truth by what hath appeared in relation to those things then there is more ground of confirmation that what we practise is of God seeing that notwithstanding those things we have been so wonderfully preserved as we are unto this day but though these things may be something as to the ignorant yet yet the rule by which we judge of our practice is only as it hath its ground and rise in holy Scripture being built upon the foundation of the Apostles and Prophets Jesus Christ himself being the chief Corner Stone Therefore it hath never been any scruple at all to me for though some have denyed the Churches and turned their ears from hearing the truth and have turned to fables yet the Churches and truth is the same as God is the same Now as for the grounds or reasons why some of the Saints themselves have so done I shall say nothing because as I said before I intend no more but my own experience and through the mercy of God I was never so far corrupted as to question either the Scriptures Churches or Ordinances of Christ much less to withdraw from them or to give any just occasion to be withdrawn from by them yet notwithstanding I do not in the least question the reality of those poor souls who have been so far overcome and are through mercy again returned and as for such as never return I shall leave them to be judged by the Lord who only is the judge of those that are without 1 Cor. 5. 13. Having thus far considered of these allegorical notions how they are the worst of all errors and the greatest mystery of iniquity in that they are more deceiving than others promising the greatest good but leading directly to the greatest evil and having given some reasons as I judge why the Saints in these daies have been so generally deceived by them I shall further proceed to consider what may be the end of God in permitting it so to be First I conceive it may be in general that such as were approved may be made manifest agreeable to 1 Cor. 11. 9. which accordingly hath been many by those things were made manifest to be approved though others that were not have appeared to be what they are But Secondly and more particularly I believe the Lord had many good ends in it both in relation to himself in relation to them and in relation to others of his people it may be some that are yet unborn First In relation to himself for the exaltation of his praise that when they should come to see how great their deliverance was and what an addition to all their former mercies they might admire his goodness and break forth into the high praises of his name and that all the daies of their lives when this mercy comes into their thoughts For my own particular I can truly say that the mercy of God to me in relation to those things I look upon it as the greatest mercy that ever I received from the Lord next the manifestation of his Love in Jesus Christ through the Gospel But Secondly In relation to them so deceived that they should have enlarged experience of the fulness of God and of their own nothingness and of the sweetness and excellency of truth above error how it doth excell it as far as light excells darkness and live more upon God and less upon themselves in faith and humility and in the increase of all grace in more cleerness of understanding and knowledge of the Truth for doubtless through the goodness of the Lord who hath promised to do his people good by every thing they do gain by it in all these in some measure
the same though in our Judgement we cannot so own them which is a plain contradiction in our principles we say they are not Churches and Ministers of Christ by our practice we say they are as hath been minded Secondly As it is a contradiction of our own principles so it hath had such effects which are too visible and remains unto this day I must confess in my most serious thoughts I have wondered what should be the reason that any in the house of God should desire to be elsewhere I am sure there is no reason to be given for it neither from Scripture nor experience therefore I conclude it s either from ignorance so persons in their practice cross their own principles and not know it or else it s from corrupt principles or else they are overcome by some violent temptations As to the 1. of these I trust there are not many in the house of God so ignorant As to the 2. it is the desire of my soul that God would reprove shew them the evill of such principles and recover them out of such snares As to the 3. Let them take heed lest having put their hand to the plow and looking back they become unfit for the Kingdom of God Luke 9. 62. and let them likewise take heed of pleasing men or halting between two opinions but if God be God follow him if Baal follow him 1 Kings 28 21. This may seem harsh language to some but I am satisfyed that what I have written hath not been from a censorious spirit to Judge of the final State of any or to question the grace of God in any where it doth appear in the least measure and therefore let none say that because I cannot own any to be true Churches or Ministers of Christ but such as are in the same order with us that therefore I say there is nothing of God or Truth in them or that none shall be saved but our selves or that we love none but those of our own Judgement which if any do so think or speak of us it is a very great mistake for if I may speak for others as I have already said I do upon a godly account love and delight in some who are not in our Churches and do wait for the accomplishment of those glorious promises when they and we shall have a pure language shall call upon the Lord serve him with one consent and when we shall have one heart and one way and there shall be one Lord and his name one Zeph. 3. 9. Jer. 32. 39. Zach. 14. 9. In the mean time Let none under a pretence of waiting for the accomplishment of such promises as these grow cold and indifferent in the great things of God For none can truly wait for the accomplishment of Promises but such as do wait in a close walking with God according to that measure of light received and so those that have but a little of the knowledge of God let them follow on to know the Lord Hosea 6. 3. and let those that are in the faith earnestly contend for it Jude 3. and such as are in Gospel Churches let them stand fast in one Spirit with one mind striving together for the faith of the Gospel Phil. 1. 27. and let every one that names the name of Christ depart from iniquity 2 Timothy 2. 19. and those that love the Lord hate evil Psalm 97. 10. And as I desire that none may slight grow cold or indifferent in the great things of God under a pretence of waiting for high enjoyments or discoveries which shall be in the later daies so I desire likewise that none may plead against the Truth under a pretence of Love as many do in these daies labouring to confound light with darkness truth with error and to make an agreement where God hath made none Let such know that true spiritual love as it is wrought in the heart by the Spirit of God so it is bounded within the limits of Truth Love and Truth go hand in hand it is so fixed upon God that it Loves all in and for him spiritual Love must have a spiritual object and as the obiect is more or less visible so is that Love it cannot love every thing alike nay it works as well by hatred of evill as approving that which is good Psa 101. Psa 97. 10. Rev. 2. 6. Psa 119. 122 128. It loves that which God loves and hates that which he hates it loves the Word of God the Ordinances of God and the people of God and hates all that is in opposition to these it rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth 1 Cor. 13. 6. This is true spiritual love in which we are to receive every truth and by which faith worketh 2 Thes 2. 10. Gal. 5. 6. and I dare affirm whatever persons may pretend of spiritual love that is not of this nature it is a meer delusion and that all that fear the Lord ought to take heed of it The fift Note of Experience concerning Notions and Pretended Spiritualities in which Satan transforms himself into an Angel of light and how far I was deceived by it and how the Lord was pleased to recover me out of it BEing now through much mercy brought out of Babylon into Sion to partake of those dainties which the Lord hath prepared for his people there Satan that grand Enemy of mankind who goeth about like a roaring Lion seeking whom he may devour 1 Pet. 5. 8. envies my happiness and waites his opportunitie to catch me as a fish in the water covering his hook with a bait of mystery and spirituality who though I had escaped him in all his former appearances as a devill yet now transforms himself into an Angel of light if it were possible for ever thereby to beguile and deceive me knowing that those that are so deceived are the fittest Agents to promote his Kingdome and that many times he prevailes this way when he can prevail no other way drawing persons to that by degrees through corrupt principles which they would have trembled at the thoughts of before they had such principles but God was pleased not onely to keep me from such things but also discover to me the way by which persons are brought to such things that so to the praise of his Grace I might avoid those waies and also forewarn others to avoid them likewise But before I was brought to discover Satan under these veiles by hearkning to the voice of the Tempter in the thoughts of which I desire ever to be humbled in the presence of God I was deceived and beguiled by him in some particular things and that after this manner after we had lived some time in London walking with the Church in the practice of the Gospel it pleased God to remove our habitation into the Country where we had not that privilege and after a while my Husband being in the Army it occasioned our
meerly by their words that I durst read it no further but sent it home again resolving to stick to my old principles and so resolved I was that I judged it my duty and accordingly did praise the Lord that I had escaped that snare and stumbling block which it was like to be to me till about half a year after these forementioned Ministers not being satisfyed to speak against those books in private only but brought them into their Pulpits reading particular passages which as they read and applyed it was contrary to the sense of it and sometimes I thought they spake more than was true which did occasion me to desire the book again for my better satisfaction but they not being allowed to be sold at that time it was hard to get any of them but through mercy I got one and then I found they did not deal faithfully but did wrest and draw false con sequences contrary to the drist and scope of it all which occasioned serious thoughts in me remembring when I first read it I laid it aside meerly from a spirit of fear and prejudice occasioned by their words and not that I was able to disprove it from Scripture grounds then remembring those words of the Apostle I Thes 5. 21. Try all things and hold fast that which is good I thought it my duty to lay aside all slavish fear and prejudice and to try it exactly by the Scriptures believing that as it was Gods way to try so he would assist me in it which he was pleased to do and as I read I began to be much affected and I thought it was glad tidings and good news if it were true but I thought it was too good to be true for I could not then believe that God was so free of his Christ as to give him to any other sinners but to such as were qualified fitted and prepared for him or that the way to glory was so easy as he seemed to mak it for if it were so then all that labour and travel which I had been a long time in was nothing which I could by no means yield to at that time For as Christ once said to the Jews that Publicans and Harlots enter into the Kingdom before them Mat. 21. 31. so truly I found it so hard to lay down my own legal righteousness and to submit to the righteousness of God by Faith according to Rom. 10. 3. that I was like to stick here when such as were more profane might receive the truth sooner But seriously weighing these with some other such like Scriptures as Rom. 4. 4. and 5. 8. Ephe. 2. through grace I was in a great measure convinced and brought to see that I had been exceedingly mistaken in my understanding and applying of Jesus Christ and whereas I thought I had attained a good degree of knowledge I now saw my self to be very ignorant and must begin again to learn the first principles of the oracles of God which to suffer so much loss was very hard to me at the first but God was pleased by degrees to strip me of all and to shew me such a beauty and excellency in the Lord Jesus above it that I was made not only willing but joyous to lay down all at his feet and I trust could truly say with the Apostle That what was gain to me I counted loss for Christ yea doubtless and I count all things but losse for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and do count them but dung that I may win Christ and be found in him c. Phil. 3 7 8 9 c. and as God had exalted Christ to be a Prince and a Saviour Acts 5. 31. and had chosen him as the only excellent one in whom he had placed life and salvation for people Mat. 12. 18. so my soul did approve of it to be the most excellent way and I trust could truly say with the Spouse he is the chiefest of ten thousand ye he is one and there is not another Cant. 5. 10. Act. 4. 12. and the more I came to apprehend the glory of the Gospel in the free tenders and invitations of Christ to sinners the more still I was affected with it and did admire it and seeing the tenders of grace so free and the invitations so general that whosoever would come might come and take of the water of life freely Esay 55. 1. Revel 22. 17. and that whosoever came to Christ he would in no wise cast out John 6. 37. by which word come I understood believing vers 40. and then considering the nature of the covenant that it is a covenant of grace free and without all conditions on the creatures part and that the conditions stand only between God and Christ as I then understood by these Scriptures Esay 53. 10. Psal 89. Through these considerations I was not only encouraged but the abounding love of Christ did compell and constrain me to cast my self upon him for life and salvation in a way of believing and not in a way of working and to the praise of his grace as I desire never to forget it I did at this time receive the assurance of the love of God in believing the free and full pardon of all my sins That God had laid them all upon Christ and beholding the travel of his soul was satisfyed Esay 53. 11. and well pleased with me in him Mat. 3. 17. and that they were all carried into the wildernes of forgetfulness and buried in Oblivion according to that type of Christ Levit. 16. 21 22. and that they were washed away in his blood Revel 1. 5. and that God would remember them no more Heb. 8. 12. and 10. 17. These Scriptures with some others of the like nature were by the Spirit of God set home so powerfully upon my heart at that time that truly I cannot express the joyfulness and sweetness of my condition not being able to contain my self from calling to others to tell them what God had done for my soul how he had brought me out of bondage into the glorious liberty of adoption and filled me with joy and peace in believing yea with joy unspeakable and full of glory Rom. 15. 13. 1 Pet. 1. 8. and I remember for a long time after I did delight to be almost continually speaking or meditating of the glory of the free grace of God in the Gospel and of his bounty and goodness to poor sinners and to me the chief of sinners for I know more evill by my self than I do by any other yet doubtless I can say as it was once said of the Thessalonians The Gosspel came not to me at that time in word only but in power and much assurance and joy in the Holy Ghost 1 Thes 1. 5. and whereas formerly I thought that to receive such a principle was the ready way to be loose and carnal I did