nearer to God whereas false flashes leave the soul loose Again for the continuance of this blessed testimony in the soul I do find that an holy humble constant waiting on God and Communion with him in his ordinances joyned with a constant care and endeavour to walk with him in uprightness in all the duties of my particular calling and relations are blessed means to keep up and increase this assurance but the neglect or remisse usage of these doth diminish the oyl of this blessed Lamp and unsanctified liberty so far grieves the holy Spirit as to suspend this Testimony for a time What the nature of this witness of the Spirit was he said as it is in the precedent letter that it was better felt then expressed only being once asked about it he answered It was a secret overpowering that I am his and he is mine I am my well-beloveds and my well-beloved is mine He was wont to observe that the most likely means to attain assurance was to propound spiritual ends to our selves in the desiring of it not to desire it meerly that we might be at quiet and free from trouble in our Consciences but principally to desire it for this end that by the knowledge and apprehension of Gods love to us we might be inabled to give the Lord the glory of his own grace and be carried out to higher pitches in obedience In his discourse with some friends he had such a passage There may be a great deal of selfishness in seeking Peace I find it best when I am come to the greatest heights of peace to study my duty what it is that God would have me do and to follow him there otherwise I meet with a Cloud His manner was as hath been partly hinted before to make up his accounts every day and the method that he used in his meditation was to consider what God had done for him in the day and what his carriage had been towards God and he would say when he considered what Gods carriage had been to him there he saw that God had been doing him good in a constant tenor but then when he reflected upon himself there he saw many failings and he said there was so action done by him that was ever no good but there was some cireumstance or other that he saw himself imperfect and defective in and it was a remarkable speech of his I have accounted it a greatpitch when the Lord hath shewed me some defects in my best actions that I may go clean out of self unto Christ By this daily and constant exercise of his in reviewing his life and actions every day he kept and maintained much Peace of Conscience and this was one of the great things that God did for him that usually at the close of every day after the casting up of his accounts humble and fervent prayer the Lord made it out to him as he himself expressed it that All was pardoned In this way was he carried on until at last he arrived to as great an habitual perswasion and as constant an apprehension of the love of God as any hath been known to have attained in this latter age so that he walked in the light of Gods countenance from day to day and his way was to study and contemplate the love of God towards him in every thing and much of his Prayers ran this way that his faith might be strengthned to see and behold the love of God in all the passages of his life that so he might as Abraham did give the Lord glory by believing Therefore he would often expres himself in Prayer after this sort Oh that we might behold thy infinite and eternal love constantly so far as finite creatures are capable that the apprehensions of thy love might draw us up again to love thee And he would say We are apt to take notice of some of the greater and more remarkable passages of the love of God as if the Lord gave us some great deliverance or gave us some signal answer of Prayer or bestowed upon us some special blessing which we had much desired but our Heavenly father did not only do us good in these great things but he was still doing us good in a constant tenor even in the least things And as the Lord did much for him in this kind His fear of loosing assurance so he was very jealous of loosing this blessed priviledge viz. the sense that he had of the love of God and the light of his countenance which he walked in There were two things he said that he mainly desired of God the one was that having been a Professor of Religion so long he might be kept from scandalous sins The other was that God would not hide his face from him for he said he was a man of a low Spirit and without Gods presence he could not subsist and therefore said he I saw it necessary to be kept under affliction that I might be humble for God would not reveal himself to proud souls Besides this habitual peace and assurance which he enjoyed His Comforts he had many particular comforts from the Lord at several times and upon several occasions He said there was great familiarity between God his people after they had walked much with him When he lay down to rest at night he had usually that promise spoken over to him Fear not Abraham I am thy shield and thy exceeding great and rich reward When he had been desiring such pitches of holiness he had often such hints as these are I will satisfie thee When he was under any special afflictions he had some special comforts and supports from God When the Lord took away his first wise he was troubled in himself about the disposing of his children then the Lord comforted him thus They are thine but for a time but they are mine for ever and this he said satisfied him Another time having been exercised with a fit of the stone he wrote to a near Relation thus These are to let you know how fatherly God dealeth with us though afflicted yet not forsaken that which sweetens all my afflictions is that inward peace which the Lord is pleased to give me in all my outward pain Many more instances of this kind might be produced The Answers he had to prayer When he was in any special strait or difficulty and needed counsel and direction what course to take the Lord did always first or last after earnest seeking of him make out his way unto him He never sought God in any great affair or extraordinary concernment but he had some answer or other from him he was sure always to have this general answer that God would do him good and that he would order things in the best way The Discoveries he had from God conceruing future events of Providence Psal 25. Gen. 18.17 and often times he had more particular intimations of the mind of God The Lord did also
Relishes of Religion in his heart When his Father was dead Mr. Rowe went from his Mother to live with Doctor Bodley brother to the famous Sr. Thomas Bodley founder of the Vniversity Library in Oxford a man of Eminent Piety and Exemplary Holiness and who was then the Minister and proper Incumbent of the place where Mr. Rowe was born and his Parents lived From this Holy man and Eminent Person for Sanctity Mr. Rowe learned much and very much of the work of God upon his soul must be attributed to him as the Instrument and as he learned much from him so he was not a little beloved by him the Doctor bearing as tender a respect to him as if he had been his own Child Living thus with Doctor Bodley and afterwards for a season with another Gentleman viz. Mr. Thomas Gale of Crediton who also was a godly man Mr. Rowe had opportunity frequently to go to London where he heard some of the ablest Preachers and such as were then most in Reputation as Dr. Gouge Mr. Stock and others and by them he was much helped forward in Spiritual Knowledge and quickned in his Love to the ways of God But Doctor Bodleys counsels together with his Holy Example he being a man of an Austere Life and of a most Strict Conversation seemed to be that which had most Influence upon him and to leave the greatest Impression on his heart for nothing was more familiar with him throughout his whole life then to be speaking upon all occasions what he had seen and heard and observed in him The Sermons also and Preaching of Doctor Bodley was of great use to him for this was Mr. Rowes observation concerning him that whatever the Subject were the Doctor had been treating of yet still when he came to the Application the use he would be sure to make of it should be to drive men unto Christ This Doctrine was so rivetted into Mr. Rowe and had so deep a root in him as that all that knew him intimately must say this of him that they never knew any that was a greater advancer of Christ or did more inculcate this great Principle upon all that he was called to speak unto viz. That their main Care should be to deny themselves and to live upon Christ for all As for a more particular discovery what were the first workings of God upon his heart it was expressed by himself in a Paper of his own writing in this manner as followeth Having before in the same Paper related the mercies of God towards him and his care and providence over him in his infancy and childhood he adds Neither did my gracious God cease to do me good in the days of my youth whereat I may justly admire Oh the depth and Riches of his unchangeable Grace for here were I able to set out the true Idea of my then deformed heart and life But better it is to confess the same to my gracious God and to pray him not to remember those sins of my youth both which I have done viz both confessed them and begged pardon of them and by Gods Grace intend to do to my dying day Yet thus much I think fit to unfold for the praise of the glory of Gods Grace that whereas I was by nature prone to all sins of all kinds especially to those two monsters Pride and Voluptuousness and in the latter of these an inventer of new kinds of sinning yet the Lord gave me not up to mine own hearts lusts altogether But even then began not only to restrain me but also by the means of Grace to do me good O Lord my salvation is of thee alone for if ever any should be saved by their own merits very likely was it that I should have been farthest off for thou resistest the proud But the gifts and calling of God are without Repentance Hence it came to pass that the same gracious God who out of his unchangeable Love ordained me to Life stirred up the Spirit of Doctor Bodley to admonish me to take heed of my pride and those over-weaning conceits of my self which he espied in me and counselled me to buy a Bible and to read the same which Admonition and counsel the Lord was pleased to bless in such wise that Ever since that time I have in some weak measure kept a constant course of reading the Scriptures except some few short intermissions by which means I do acknowledge to the glory of my God that my poor soul hath received no small benefit By this Relation of his own which was written with his own hand together with some other passages of his Life which hereafter are to be inserted it appears that Pride and the Love of Pleasure were his Master-sins in the days of his youth Hence was it that he would often say in his familiar discourse that Lase Pride and Pleasure were the great sins of youth He would also very frequently speak of this Passage that there was but one thing which he mainly desired in his youthful days which if it had been granted to him would have proved to be his ruine and that was that he might have had the same Liberty allowed unto him by his Parents which another vain young-man whom he knew had granted unto him who afterward came to a Miserable End This passage he would mention often to shew what a mercy it was that he was so restrained and that God gave him not his own Will After the Lord had thus begun his good work in Mr. Rowes heart by the counsells preaching and holy conversation of Doctor Bodley he continued in the Doctors Family for some time which was as long as Dr. Bodley lived The Doctor after some experience of him perceiving his Ingenuity Fidelity and Inclinations to Religion bare a very great and tender affection towards him and such was his affection that he having no child of his own intended as was verily supposed to have done much for him at his death But the Doctor being surprized with somewhat a sudden Sickness whereof he died and not being able by reason thereof to do what he intended Mr. Rowes hopes were wholly frustrated of enjoying any thing that the Doctor purposed to do for him And this event he looked upon as he was wont ever after to construe it in his familiar discourses with his friends as the Wise Providence of God towards him that he might see his whole Dependance to be on the Lord for what behad About the Twenty fifth year of his Age he was disposed of in Marriage His Marriage concerning which because there were some Providences that were remarkable and that he himself thought worthy to be remembred as it appears by the Register that he kept of them we shall relate what himself hath written When I was desirous to enter into the State of Marriage I was assayled with Covetousness Voluptuousness and Ambition and would surely have undone my self by some or all of these Evills had
not my gracious God by disappointing my unsanctified desires for seven years space or more prevented my Folly Oh what a misery is it for vain youth to have its will Oh what a blessing to bear the yoke betime especially when God will open the Ear to discipline as blessed be his Name he did mine at the last And here I may justly break out into admiration of the Riches of his Grace that brought light to me out of my darkness I mean a great Light of Grace into my Soul by occasion of the great Darkness of mine own sin into the which I fell My Pride went before my fall so sin drew on sin and sin was punished with sin yet O depth of Grace this Fall was the cause of my Rising I mean in Grace Thus my gracious God did me good by mine own Evils and made my greatest sins occasions of my great Humiliation And although Voluptuousness Ambition and Coveteousness were the Idol-sins of my youth yet my gracious God preserved me from the gross acting of those sins either by Murder Adultery Fornication Tneft or any other unlawful way of Gain I say that it was my gracious God that preserved me and therefore let his name have all the Glory as for me I should have run Mad in Pride with Nebuchadnezar and burst asunder in Coveteousness with Judas and drowned my self in a daily course of Delicacy with the Glutton that St. Luke mentions had I not been kept by the power of God alone Only only to thy name O Lord be the praise My desire of Marriage was corrupt through my Coveteousness Voluptuousness and Ambition as I have said and my gracious God crossing those unsanctified desires of mine for divers years did at length teach me to desire Marriage for better ends And having begun to set my mind in order he also brought on the blessing for first he prepared my heart to seek him by Prayer for a meet helper and then he opened his Ear and granted my request so that even in the same day wherein he had stirred me up in a more then ordinary manner to seek a blessing in my Marriage by Prayer he was pleased to give me evidence that he had heard me in sending to me an honest Christian which came to me on purpose to break the matter for Marriage with her which afterward God gave me to wife This match Satan attempted to hinder by stirring up a neer friend of mine to fail in performance of his promise made to me for my preferment which justly might have alienated the minds of my wifes parents from me but that my gracious God would not suffer Satan to do me that mischief yea more then so he gave me grace to seek reconciliation with that Friend of mine which had so deeply wronged me So far are the words of his own Relation written by himself The Family into which he matched was a Godly Family who did the sooner imbrace Mr. Rowes motion because of that which they had heard concerning his Affection to Religion The person whom he took to Wife was a very godly and sincere woman although one that walked in Darkness and had no assurance of Gods Love the greatest part of her days and that appears by this Passage which we may not therefore omit because Mr. Rowe himself hath Registred it as one special experience of Gods Love towards him When his wife lay Sick and was upon her Death bed she complained that she had no assurance of the Love and Favour of God and that when she died she should be taken to Glory in Heaven hereupon Mr. Rowe besought the Lord very earnestly for her and the Lord was so far intreated as a little before her death to assure her of her Glory in heaven and this in somewhat an unusual extraordinary manner giving in such a secret Hint and Intimation to her soul as this I will Glorifie thee After Mr. Rowe was Married he continued four years in the house of his Father in law at Pinhow in Devon a place as himself hath recorded it in the Memoriall of his own experiences enriched with divers worldly contentments but all embittered thorough the want of the Ministry of Gods Word And what he adds in the same place may not be omitted There says he had I just occasion given me to repent of my former fulsomness and weariness of that heavenly Manna But here again my gracious God that never ceaseth to do me good did as well provide the Plaister as give the Wound He wounded my Conscience by the want of the Ministry in my own Parish of Pnin bringing to my rememberance my sin in undervaluing the plentiful Ministry which I had once enjoyed but he healed the breach again not only by forgiveness and repentance but also by providing for me the Ministry of a worthy servant of his in a Neighbouring Parish But to proceed in the Narrative of his Life His remove to Crediton Mr. Rowe being weary of living any longer in the house of his Father in Law by reason of the want of the meanes of grace in that place although as hath been said he enjoyed at least for a season for how long it was he had that happiness the Relator hath not come to the knowledg of the labours of a faithful Minister in an adjacent Parish and hearing that there was an able Preacher at Crediton he had a great desire to remove his Family and Habitation thither and accordingly did so taking his leave of his wives Relations he went and setled himself and family in Credition on purpose to enjoy the means of grace and there continued to his dying day And according to this example of his own he would often exhort his children and acquaintance that their first care should be to place themselves under a Godly and a powerful Ministry and for this purpose he would often mention that text Can. 1.8 Go forth by the footsteps of the flock and feed thy kids besides the Shepheards tents Not long after his coming to Crediton he was made High-Constable His Executing the office of High-Constable in which office he continued about Twenty years during which service his care diligence and zeal was such for the suppressing and punishing of Vice that his Name became a Dread and a Terror to all the Prophane that were near to the place he lived And as his zeal was great so his wisdom Charity and Compassions were no less he would first seek to win Offenders by his loving counsels and gentle admonitions before he would use the severity of the Law against them and his great care was to let men see that it was their Vices not their Persons that he aimed at And such was the Presence of God with him such the Authority and Majesty that shone in his carriage and behaviour that although he was forced to punish many for their misdemeanors that would not be otherwise reclaimed yet none had power to lift up an
greatly swallowed up in and by the sense of Gods love to him What delight did he take in concealing that grace which was conferred on him under an humble self-abasement before God and men He lived the most that ever I knew any in a continual separation not only from the world but also from himself He seemed to me to have arrived unto the greatest abjuration of self-sufficiency that ever I met with Oh how much did he depart from himself day by day that so he might more intirely enter into and live in Christ What a generous design had he to abandon every part not only of sinful but legal self for Christ But yet the less he lived in the Spirit of his own Gifts or Graces received the more he lived in the Spirit of Christ his head Oh what an amorous union with and value for Christ did he gain by the Ruines of self-self-love The less he was in his own eyes by so much the more did he magnifie Christ His works did praise him but how much did his tongue heart and life praise Christ Yea how much did he rejoyce to see Christ glorifyed by others as well as by himself I must confess according to my best knowledge I never knew any that did more cry down self and cry up Christ than this now glorified Saint How willing was he to render unto Christ whatever he received from him Thus as the Rivers receive new supplies by emptying themselves into the Sea so did this holy man by returning the acknowledgement and improvement of all his grace unto Christ the Ocean of all As Humility kept him low in his own eyes so Faith raised in him an high esteem of Christ As he went unto Christ for all grace so he ascribed all unto him Thus he made Christ all in all He seemed so laborious in the ways of Godliness as if there were no Christ to trust unto and yet he was so much in Faith and dependance on Christ as if there were nothing to be done on his part As for his diligence in the work of God that he ascribed to Christ but as for any negligence he was guilty of that he ascribed to himself His will stood strongly Bent for God Oh! what a pure sound single entire upright heart for God had he How did Divine Love bend his will purifie the intention thereof keeping it in a firm adhesion unto God What spiritual Affections for Christ ballanced with saving light was his heart possessed withall How much did he fear God under Smiles love him under frowns hope in him under difficulties desire and enjoy him under all other enjoyments What a beautiful Harmony was there between his will and the Divine Will Yea how much did he live and die in the Soveraign Will When the Lord took from him any dear Relation what a correspondence with and Acquiescence in his royal pleasure did he discover in his deportment How Passive yea Active in concurrence with the will of God was his will under all chastisements How little covetuous or thirsty after his own will was he Oh what a flexible humble meek and broken will towards God was there discovered in him and yet lo how inflexible and stiffe was his will as to whatever had the appearance of evil how patient calm and submissive was he in his own cause and yet what an ardent zeal had he for the concerns of his Lord How much could he condescend to the will of the meanest for their good and yet how little would he stoop to the lusts of the proudest As for the constant establisht tenor of his Spirit in walking with God not only in Religious dutys but also in his civil Affairs I have much admired it Yea I cannot but tell the world what I have oft mentioned in private that I verily believe this holy man enjoyed more of God in his civil employments then many Christians do in their spiritual Retirements and Devotion I have taken him when newly come of a croud of secular affairs and have found him more spiritual in his converse then I find the most of Christians after their most serious exercises in religious worship And I remember he then told me what I hope I shall never forget That this was his course every day to examine what had been Gods carriage towards him and what had been his carriage towards God A Golden Rule for Heart examens Oh what an estrangement from a worldly Spirit had he in all his worldly concerns How were his Thoughts Principles Inclinations Affections and Actions moulded into a fit frame for walking with God Was not this the main business and exercise of his Life How much time did he spend in the service of his Lord and how little was he taken up with self-concernments What a serious lively affectionate communion with God had he not only in but also out of duties How much was his end ever in his eye And with what vigorous activity did he pursue the same How much was his heart with God in eating walking commerce and all parts of civil Conversation What a curious vigilant eye had he on his Spirit to secure it from all violent passions and irregular motions How unwilling was he to let pass the least occasion presented for receiving or doing good How little was there of a Vacuum in his Life for tentation to fill up What an equal uniform and harmonious life did he lead In sum He was one of an Universal Spirit for Godliness The Yoke and Cross of Christ were pleasant and familiar to him Oh how strict was his life but his heart large towards God and men How much did he vindicate the Reality of his Religion by living at a more than ordinary rate in Religion It was his great Aphorism both living and dying That Religion was a Real thing And how much did he demonstrate the same by the power thereof in his life and conversation What an Heaven of Holiness and Happiness did he find in his way to Heaven What a Tranquility of Spirit did he arrive unto in this inferiour world Was not his life by reason of the equality of its parts like a circle which every day began and ended in God What a constellation of graces seemingly contrary did there shine forth in his Conversation How knowing in the deep mystery of Faith and yet how humble was he What a blessed mixture of zeal and meekness appeared in him What a Majesty mixed mith a sweet Affability was there in his presence How much did he advantage men that knew him by giving them such a bright shining example of visible Godliness I would not exceed in mine esteem of persons or things but yet I must confess I cannot but admire the grace of God that shone so illustriously in this eminent Saint And I think I may say it without injury to truth or person that to my best remembrance I have not seen any one clothed with more visible and shining grace then
hand against him or scarce to move their tongues against him to his hurt or prejudice One instance was remarkable A certain Ruffian being punished by 〈◊〉 for his misdemeanors vowed the next time he met him he would certainly stab him and being put into the Stocks for some offence he had committed against the Law his rage was such that not being able to have his will on Mr. Rowe he struck at the stones with his knife for very madness After this Mr. Rowe met the same person when he was at liberty and might have had opportunity to wreak his malice and revenge upon him but it pleased the Lord so to overpower him that he was as a man struck dumb and had not a word to say Many of his friends seeing his abilities and fitness would often sollicit and press him to take the office of a Justice of Peace His Modesty but such was his Humility and Modesty that he would by no means yeild to it saying that he had neither Ability nor Estate for it and that it was the way to make Authority contemptible when inferiour Persons were put into such Places His care to cut off occasions of offence He was very careful to cut off all occasion of offence from such as would be ready to take offence being wont in his younger days to use Shooting with Bow and Arrows for his Recreation sake after that meeting with an Offendor against the law he rebuked him for some misdemeanours that he was guilty of the man replyed why might not he do that as well as he Shoot with Bow and Arrows after this Mr. Rowe laid aside his Recreation and would never shoot with Bow and Arrows more He was a man of a very Peaceable temper His Peaceable and Peace-making Disposition he never loved to foment differences but sought all he could to compose them and if there were at any time any distance between him and others the fault was usually theirs because he could not bear or comply with some corruption of theirs but would seek their reformation And as he was of a very peaceable disposition himself so he was a great Peace-maker a great part of his time was spent this way in making up and composing of differences between others many a quarrel was taken up by him this way many Law Suits prevented many differences between near relations reconciled and the Lord was pleased to give him such a blessing and success in these undertakings that his hands were seldome empty of this work so that he was many times so much ingaged and taken up in the businesses and affairs of other men that he could hardly get liberty to mind or prosecute his own He said upon occasion given him to a relation of his that he might have increased his own estate much more if he had spent that time in following his own affairs which he spent in the businesses and affairs of other men but what he did in this kind he did it out of duty and Conscience Such indeed was his Charity and Compassion to others that none ever was known to be more Concerned for others or more Naturally to care for the good of others then he was He made their Conditions his own he had a deep Sympathy with their distresses and in his Prayers he would as affectionately pray for them as for himself and when he had undertaken any of the affairs and businesses of other men he would act as vigorously in their behalf as if it were his own concernment although he neither did nor expected to reap any advantage to himself by it He was forty years of age before he attained that great blessing of Assurance His Assurance which he kept ever after and never lost it after he had once attained it so that he enjoyed that singular priviledge viz. the assurance of the love of God for the space of Thirty years and more The means by which he maintained and preserved his assurance was as he himself said by a diligent and constant use of all the means of Grace both publick and private and taking an account of his heart once at least every day And as he had by these means a constant assurance of his estate so that he was never left to a total doubting of his estate after he had once received the assurance of it so he had at some times more special experience of the Witness and Testimony of the Spirit together with that of his own Spirit Concerning which particular because the children of God do naturally desire to have all the light that may be given in about it it being a secret and hidden thing and unknown to any but those that have it and the experience of the most holy men being in this case most considerable and that upon which the greatest weight may be laid I shall set down a little more at large the thoughts and experience of this holy man about it In one of his Letters he thus expressed himself Besides assurance in a way of reasoning His Judgment and experience concerning the Testimony of the Spirit God is pleased some time in conversing with him to make it out by secretly hinting in some one precious promise And in another Letter he expressed himself more fully In answer to your desire to receive a few of my thoughts and experiences concerning the witness or Testimony of the Spirit in assurance I do acknowledge to the glory of God that God hath given to me some experience of his love and at sometimes more then at other times in the Testimony of his Spirit bearing witness with my Spirit concerning mine adoption and so consequently of my justification sanctification and eternal life But this is better felt then expressed yet in some measure as the Lord shall inable me I will endeavour to answer your desire herein First that there is as appeareth Rom. 8.16 such a blessed Priviledge given to some of Gods elect on earth as to have the Spirit it self to bear witness with their Spirits that they are the Children of God Again that this Testimony is given to believers after that they are effectually called to grace as appeareth Eph. 1.13 and by the which they are as by a seal assured of the grace of God But that every one that is effectually called to grace hath this Testimony presently given I dare not affirm but do rather think that some may wait a longer time then others before they do receive it for mine own part I believe that I was effectually called divers years before the Lord gave me this assurance Again the truth of this Testimony of the holy Spirit in my own soul I have discerned from false flashes and unsound comforts by this that this testimony doth alwaies when it comes raise the soul to more desires after more intimate union and communion with God works more self-abborrency and more care to please God and fear to displease him and in a word drives me