Thou shalt to her a Father be And as a Brother lovingly Shalt Cherish her a Mothers Love From thee in her shall Reverence move So the Husband ought to supply to his Wife the place of Father Mother Brother and all other Relations Yea much more two Persons must make up but one Behold then the highest pitch that Love is capable of reaching too Behold the height of the most ardent Amity that can be conceiv'd to be so conjoyn'd with the thing loved as to become one and the same thing with it This Love is a Symbole of that Caelestial Love that shall be perfected in the Elect when having put off this sinful Flesh and are renewed by Christ they shall be made one with him Can that Union then between the very Soul and Body be more perfect than is that of Persons joyned in Marriage Can there be any thing more admirable since to comprehend it we must conceive a kind of Miracle imagining two Persons are not two but simply one That is to say the one ought to be so nearly United to the other by Love that whatever touches the one be it Good or be it Evil it also affects the other so lively that there is no difference in their resentments It is this miraculous Love that makes the Union of Marriage which Union is undissolvâ—ble according to our Divine Law-giver so long as this Love subsists and is not banished by infidelity to that Bed which God has made Sacred to Marriage If then it be this Love that according to the intention of the words of our Saviour is the Sacred Tye of the Marriage of Christians there can be nothing more opposite to it than Jealousie since being the pernicious Bud of Luxury the most unbridled of all our Passions it is impossible that it can consist with the tenderness and holy peace of that Love that conjoyns Man and Wife Now this Love being a Command of God which we violate by these Motions of Self-Love it necessarily follows that we commit a manifest Sin every time we give way to this Passion of Jealousie And therefore to say that a Man or Womans Love is commendable for their being Jealous is the same thing as to say it is commendable to offend God But that we may be yet further convinced St. Paul does not only give us the Commands of God on this Subject but on his own part he gives us the condition of Marriage between Man and Wife in as much as on the one side he recommends to Christian Husbands to Love their Wives and on the other he recommends to the Wives to be submissive to their Husbands in loving them Husbands Love your Wives saith he even as Christ loved his Church and gave himself to Dye for it so let Husbands Love their Wives even as their own Bodies Indeed saith a Learned Doctour in explaining this Passage as Jesus Christ is over and Rules his Church and which he Governs and Protects for its own Good even so a Husband ought to Command and Govern his Wife both for her own and whole Families good But we must here observe that since St. Paul has ordered Husbands to Love their Wives he thereby teaches them not to Command or Govern them Imperiously but with Mildness and in Love that thereby the Yoak of the Power of the Husband may be rendered lighter and more easie So the Husband saith another Learned Man must know that Marriage is the highest degree of all Amities whatever and that Amity is vastly different from Tyranny since Tyrants are not obeyed but by force This for the Part of the Husband As to what respects the Part of the Wife he ceases not to preach submission to them Let Wives saith he submit to their Husbands as to the Lord because the Man is the head of the Woman even as Christ is the Head of the Church which is his Body and whereof also he is the Saviour as therefore the Church is obedient to Christ so let Women also be obedient to their Husbands in all things Let Women then consider the Person of our Lord and Saviour who is the Head and Espouse of the Church in the Person of their Husbands Neither does this submission at all exclude the Love of the Wife towards the Husband but on the contrary ought to be accompanied with Love as though St. Paul should say I charge the Wife that she not only love her Husband but also that she fear him and bear to him a respect as to her Master and Head to whom she ones submission for which reason she ought to take all care not to give him offence and thus much for Women In which we cannot but admire the Justice and at the same time the importance of the words of this great Apostle He saith to Husbands Love your Wives knowing well that if they loved them they would not hearken to any Infidelity that could loosen their conjugal Unity for Love is the very Tye and Cement of this Union he knew well that to Love them is to Love their own selves since they are one Flesh with them and to oblige them to a reciprocal Love and lastly he saith to them Love your Wives Thereby giveing them to understand that the Superiority of the Husband ought to be altogether in Love Then he saith to the Women Love your Husbands but he adds be ye subject to your Husbands Let them that are grown up in years saith he instruct the young Married Women with Prudence teaching them to Love their Husbands and Children to be Orderly Chast Diligent in Ruling their House Good submitting to their Husbands He adds it to let them know that a Woman should so Love her Husband that she bear him Respect and so to Respect him that she Love him also for from these two Sentences conjoyned arises the Duty of a Wife towards her Husband A Woman must be not only Good and Compliant but also submitting and Obedient to her Husband because he is her Head The Apostle commands Obedience in the Woman because he knew from the Nature of Humane Genius that this Submission would Infallibly maintain Love in the heart of the Husband nothing in the World tending so much to win the heart and create Love as Submission so that Submission in the Woman nourishes Love in her Husband and the Love of the Husband reproducing or multiplying it self in the Woman from thence Springs that marvellous Unity which God design'd in distinguishing the Sexes and instituting Marriage in which Holy Contract it is the Mans part to Furnish Love and the Womans Obedience and Respect So St. Paul does not describe this Love of a Husband as a common Love but proposes for example the inviolable Love of Christ Jesus for his Church as far as Man is capable of imitating this great example thereby giving it the Character of the sincerest of all Loves nor can
there be a greater Love than to dye for one as by this example Husbands are obliged to dye for their Wives if necessity requires it In short It is this that Sanctifies Marriage for it is a Sacrament because the agreement of their Wills and the Union of their Bodies signifie on the one hand the Charity which is according to the Spirit between God and Righteous Souls or the Church and on the other the Sacred Marriage that Jesus Christ has contracted with the same Church by the Mistery of his Holy Incarnation This Sacred Marriage ought therefore to serve for an Example to Man in Marriage Husbands ought to Love their Wives as Christ loved his Church not that St. Paul exacts of Man an equal affection but only that they imitate his Example For Husbands ought to look upon Christ who is the Espouse of the Church as a Model for all the Circumstances of their Love wherewith they ought to Love their Wives On the other hand he is not to be understood on the part of the Woman as if he spoke of some slight kind of Submission but a Submission perfectly entire in all things whatsoever especially respecting the conduct of the Family of the Husband whereof she is a Member In such sort that in this Society there must be no more than one sole Will and which is that of the Husband two differing Wills not being capable of Union So that to say it once over again the Husband commanding or imposing nothing on the Wife but what is reasonable and consonant to the Power that God has given her and to the perfect Love he has commanded him to have for her And she for her part being Obedient and Submitting to him in the Lord in every thing without any exception they together effect that which is altogether admirable that of two Persons they make but simply one in Marriage Upon these immoveable Principles not only the Ecclesiastical Laws who contain the Precepts of the Gospel and the Interpretation of the Fathers but also the Civil Laws are founded to establish the Discipline we ought to observe in a State of Marriage All which do so unanimously ordain a mutual Love between the Persons Married the Superiority of the Husband and the Submission and Obedience of the Wife to the forming of Marriage that if any one of these be a wanting they acknowledge there no more Society although the Bands are not broke before the Death of one of the two Married Persons It is not the Bed says the Lawyer but the agreement of their minds that makes a Marriage and where ever this mutual agreement is not there can be no Marriage Now to all this No place is wanting of Authorities for recommending to the Woman Submission Subjection and Obedience for though she may sometimes be called a Mistress of the Family or Companion by her Husband yet this does not give her any Command nor any Share in the Authority of the Family When she is Marrying they Cover her with a Vail thereby shewing her that she ought to be Humble and Submissive to her Husband As soon saith St. Ambrose as Rebecca perceived Isaac coming asking who he was and being enformed that it was he that should Espouse her she Bared her Feet and began to Cover her self with a Vail thereby Teaching us that a Submissive Shame-facedness should even preceed their Marriage Nor can any Wife be permitted to perform it if she have Vowed a Vow of Continence without the permission of the Husband and that because she must be Submitting to her Husband in all things It is agreeable to the Order of Nature that Women Submit to their Husbands as well as Children to their Parents since it would be injust that the Greater should be Subject to the Less The true Mark â—hat Man is the Image of God is that he is as Lord and Exercises an Empire which only appertains to God for every King or he that Exercises Command carrys thereby the Image of God and from hence in part it may be said that God made Man after his own Image for which reason the Apostle saith That Man ought not to Cover his Face because he is the Image and Glory of God whereas the Woman ought â—o Cover hers because she cannot be said to be either the Image or the Glory of God A Woman that refuseth to Obey her Husband who is the Head of the Woman as Christ is the Head of the Husband does not Offend less therein than the Husband should if he denied to Obey Christ The Woman Scandalizes the Word of God when she Contemns that Sentence that was by him pronounced to her Thou shalt be under the Power of thy Husband Dishonouring thereby the Holy Gospel in as much as against the Law and the Intention of Nature she that professeth Christianity and by the Order of God ought to be Subject to her Husband yet notwithstanding would Command him yea although the very Pagaâ— Women Obey and Submit to their Husbands following only the Law of Nature Lastly Since Adam was Deceived by Eve and not Eve by Adam it is but Just that she should take him for Master whom by making him accessary she made Guilty of the Punishment for the Fault that was hers and the rather that being under his Conduct she may not fall again by the Weakness of her Sex Now all this we are Taught by the Holy Scriptures the Fathers of the Church and the Canonical Law Let us now ask the Question of the People of this World Whether or no according to these Rules which ought to be Inviolable and Sacred to us since our Destruction and Salvation depend thereon a Man that makes profession of Christianity imitates as he is obliged to do the Union and Love of Christ for his Church when he has a Sensual Jealousie of his Wife I would Ask Whether or no a Christian Woman gains to her self a good Report by being Jealous And how that Modesty which ought to accompany Marriage together with this Command of God Wives be Subject to your Husbands Can consist or agree with the many Contradictions she Daily weaâ—ies her Husband withal How with her Haughtiness Outrages Reproaches Invectives Disobedience and Fretings which her Jealousie continually â—ut her upon Can this be to be Subâ—ect to her Husband to Elevate her self above him in pretending to Instruct him and to Censure and Examine all his Actions thereby Raising Contests Bitterness and Contempt So far are these Extravagancies from being the Attendants of the Holiness of a Sacrament Instituted by God â—hat they are directly a Reversing of both Divine and Humane Laws they are the Violation of Marriage and the breaking off of Union For if by this Holy and Inviolable Contract and as God has Commanded by St. Paul the Husband is Obliged to Love his Wife with the most Pure and Perfect Love of all other and the Woman is Obliged to Humble
hereby be Instructed refrain from all kinds of Craft and Deceitfulness nor must they be sollicitous to inform themselves or to dive into the Secrets of their Husbands So likewise they must be exceeding watchful over themselves that they act or do nothing that Anger or any conceived Imagination shall put them upon but let them seriously consider on it and deface all these conceiv'd Fancies before they act which is a most wholsome Instruction They must be mild and real in their Speeches for mildness of Speech is more taking and charming than the sweatest Instruments in a Set of Musick as the Preacher also says Let the Wife speak little but that aptly and to the purpose with a Submission and Respect full of Tenderness considering with her self that when she speaks to her Husband she speaks to her Master to her Lord to her King and what is infinitely more than these to Jesus Christ of whom in regard of her he represents the Person and executes the Authority Let her have continually in her thoughts the Example of these Renowned Wives which the Church in the Celebration of her Marriage has proposed to her for Patterns Let her likewise always remember that at that â—ime she took upon her the Yoak of Love that is that Submissive Love she â—ought to have for her Husband and the Yoak of Peace to signifie unto her that the Peace of the Family depends upon her Submission She must endeavour to make her self ameable to her Husband as Rachel who was even Mildness it self She must be prudent as Rehecca who was exceeding Judicious Faithful and Submissive as Sarah who called her Husband ordinarily her Lord and her Master and who loved him to such excess that far from being enslaved with this sensual Jealousie of Women of the World she would give him her Handmaid to divide his Embraces between them that thereby he might be comforted against the Barrenness of her Womb in the Offspring might arise from this Slave according to the Custom of Polygamie which was at that time permitted Let her Imitate for an Example the Industrious Wife which Solomon Describes the which should gain the Heart of her Husband by her Vertue her Prudence her Activity her Understanding her Courage her Meekness her Obedience her Care and her good Conduct and which by consequence was in every thing his Honour and his Glory She must know that the Love between Persons though Married is but of short continuance when it has no other Fuel to Feed upon but Beauty and External Perfections and that it is no more than the Love of a Comedian on the Stage when it is not sustain'd by Vertue and solid Prudence That it is not the Attire of the Body though never so Gay that Adorns and brings Honour to Married Women but the Attire of the Mind that is to say the Adorning which is made up of Vertue Meekness Modesty and Obedience to the Husbands And Lastly If the will Accomplish the Duties of an Honest Wife and preserve Peace in her Family she must be as though she had not the Disposition to Motion of her self but only to Move by the Will and Mind of her Husband in such sort that of her self she must use no Passion but the Inclinations that is to say the Joy or Sorrow of her Husband must be hers as proper to her and only her own because it is this Conformity of the Mind that produces and nourishes Love and Peace even as the Difformity or Disagreement therein destroys it We may see an Example hereof in a Modern Author who gives us very pleasantly the Portraite and Abridgment of what we have said in the Person of a Restless and Obstinate that is to say Jealous Wife She Deplores her Unhappiness to one of her Familiar Friends but which was a Woman of Understanding she gives an Account to her of the ill-conduct between her and her Husband and their continual Warfare saying withal as most do to Excuse as they think their Actings herein Since he takes no Care of me I shall take no Care of him neither The Honest Wife endeavours to raise better Thoughts in her she Represents to her that in all Contestations one of the Two must of necessity yeild and good Order will have it to be the Wife in Marriage That a Husband let him be never so Bad yet he remains still the Husband and can not be cast off but by Death That there is no Husband at all but has his Faults and though we must disapprove these Vices yet we must uot hate the Person in any kind of Friendship much less in Marriage That it is better to suffer her Husband seeing the Meekness of the Wife may render him more conformable but her Reproofs will certainly make him worse That Amity in Marriage is Nourished by the Repute of the Wife join'd with her Meekness that which is setled on Beauty being only a Passenger This Meekness is chiefly apparent in having an extream care to please the Husband in every thing and to displease him in nothing in knowing his Bent and Inclinations that she may Love the Person that he Loves and Observe the Times and Things that are most agreeable to him In the first place says she proposing her self for Example I forget nothing that appertains to the Governing aright the House within Doors which is the Duty under her Husband of a Married Wife I take the greatest Care imaginable that all things though of the least moment may be according to my Husbands Humour and I conform my self entirely to his Pleasure if I see him Sad I speak not to him at all and put on a Sad Countenance my self If I see him Angry I endeavour to Pacifie him by sweet Expressions If I see him transported with Anger I hold my peace If he have Drunk too much I say nothing to him but pleasant Discourses to perswade him to Bed If he have done any thing â—amiss of Importance for as for small Trifles I wink at them I Advertise him thereof and in particular when he is no way disturb'd and in a good Humour and has got no Drink declaring my Advice to him in Loving Speeches and Merry Discourse but with all Respectuous and having said it in Two words I break off the Discourse and convert it to things that are more agreeable But continues this Divine Wife if the thing in Question be of very great concern I have heard say that the Wife ought rather to Employ another to speak to her Husband then to speak to him thereof her self and that rather to Employ the Relations of her Husband than her own I know adds she a Gentlewoman that coming to know of an Engagement that her Husband had made with the Daughter of a Poor Woman did her self but under a borrowed Name send in Houshold Goods and other necessary Moveables and Moneys likewise towards the defraying their Expences
degrees breaks forth like Lightning at last and blows the Fire of Domestick Sedition up to a destructive Flame It cannot be therefore this sensual Love that maintains Peace in Marriage â—t is reasonable and real Love it is this Love that we have represented full of Meekness which affects the Mind of the Husband with a real Tenderness which enclines him to Reign over the Heart of his Wife by engaging Actions and not by the Rigid Exercise of the right he has to Rule which excuses smaller Faults and covers greater Misdemeanours with Charity and Compassion when they cannot be retreived which takes a greater share of all the Evils that befal her than she does her self which makes him ready to die for her sake as Christ who is his Example died for his Church It is this Love that removes all danger of these sad disasters we have touch't upon without the mediation of the Magistrate whose Authority is so universal because it is founded upon natural Justice That those that are the least enlightned with reason are under its Power and not only so but are also animated and encouraged thereby against all dangers whatever that may any way invade thâ— beloved Object We have an Example of an Arabian which may be a lesson for us of thâ— real Love and Tenderness his Name was Raha and commanded in Affrica in Quality of a General One day Party belonging to the Neighbouring People having surprized his Quarters in his abscence took away great Spoyâ— and withal took his Wife Prisoner And as they were going off with their Booties the General was at the same time Returning with about Seventy Horse who meeting them loaded with Pillage and not knowing any thing of the Disaster of his Wife he Charges them on the Reer thinking to Scatter them but seeing his Assaults to be in vain and that he was too weak for them he commands the Retreat and just as they were wheeling about he heard aâ— confused Voyce in the middle of the Enemies Party which cryed Raha he stops a little and understands it to be the voyce of his Wife he goes directly back again by himself and got leave to speak to her from the Commander of the Party to take his last farewel of her She at the first sight begins to reprove him of his Remisness that he would suffer her to be taken away on such a manner which words with the seeing her in such a Condition did so Enflame his Love and Provoke his Jealousie that he run to his Soldiers and spoke to them saying If ever you have been sensible of Love take Pity of my Dear Wife and me help us I Conjure you by all that is Sacred to Mortals by the Glory of our Nation by my own Life which cannot Subsist long if they Ravish my Wife from me Go to my Dear Friends Fortune helps the Generous and Lovers They went on indeed Set upon the Body of the Party Raha Kill'd the Commander with his own Hands and put the Rest to Flight he Delivered his Wife and brought her back in Tryumph with all the Spoil Now such are the Effects of a Generous and Lawful Jealousie Animated only by the Motions of Nature We may easily presume from hence that Peace does Gloriously Reign in such a Marriage But to raise our Jealousie to a degree of Perfection and to guide it according to the Light of Christianity We need only to Imitate that Excellent Pattern of Marriage in the Persons oâ— the Mother of our Blessed Saviour and of Joseph The Meekness and Moderation of this Just Husband are Admirable He did not Scandalize his Be trothed Virgin although he knew he to be with Child and not yet Instructed that it was the working of the Holy Spirit He did not Persecute he with Complaints with Roughness with Suspitions with Passions or with Violences but he resolved to put her away quietly and privately because â—aith the Holy Evangelist he was a Just Man and Fearing God So that it is Evident that he Loved her with a Real and Reasonable Love for her selâ— only and not for his own Ends according to the Holy Rules of Amity and not according to the Unregulated Instinct of Passion which Besieges and Agitates the Minds of Sensual Persons Now it would be unnecessary to Exemplifie further the Peace that Blessed this Holy Marriage since it is so easie to infer from this Peaceable Love already rehearsed that nothing could intervene between these Divine Lovers but Calmness and Admirable Meekness It is likewise unnecessary to Insist any longer upon Instructing Jealous Women in the Means to preserve Peace since we have already Established by Proofs I suppose Invincible that it depends only upon things that are opposed to the Enormities of this Sensual Jealousie that is to say on Meekness and Submission of the Mind Neither shall they pretend to say That we have made it our Pleasure to make their Condition worse then that of Men For we have only followed Nature herein whose Laws are a Law to all the Rest Now as a Man would be Rediculous that would not Eat nor Drink because he was not Born a Prince so likewise that Woman must be of a Capricious Humour that will not do what she ought to do because the Law of Nature has Subjected her to her Husband It is not of this then that Women must Complain But rather let them Complain of these Two things which indeed are the true Causes of the Evils they Suffer themselves and with which they Infect others First Let them Complain that the greatest part of Parents give their Children a Bad Education and bring them up in a Love of themselves by their too much Indulgency which is the Original of Sensuality Secondly Let them Complain of the little Care they take or the wrong Ends they propose in their Marriages where they will give Ear to nothing but what may Answer their Pride or Temporal Interest Indeed it is a great Abuse in the World to permit a kind of People to make a Publick Trade of Marrying others and an Indignity insufferable and Criminal that these Creatures should Sell the Children of a Family Publickly These are People that keep Account-Books and State Methodically in a Twofold Range all Persons that are to be Married of either Sex and particularly of a great Number that come out of Remote Countreys many whereof come almost of no other Account but to Trie their Fortunes herein and indeed their Counts are always pretty full of these and they make the best Returns by them for having nothing to lose for the most part if they Hound them fairly and they Kill they are willing to divide the Prey with them Now these Men-Marchants are wont to Insinuate themselves directly if they can into any House where they are in hopes to find any Game or if they cannot do it directly they either Corrupt the Servants they can come
ibid. What true Love is 47 That sensual Jealousie can have no place in true Marriage 48 It is sensual Love that creates Jealousie 49 What sensual Love is ibid. Persons of understanding reckon it not honourable to be Jealous 51 CHAP. IV. Of the Marriage of Christians according to the Primary Institution thereof by God himself and its re-establishment by Christ 53 That Jealousie breaks off the Society which God himself has Established ib. Why God Established Marriage 54 How strong the Union of Marriage is ib. That Jealousie is inconsistent with the Marriage of Christians 56 Contracts of Marriage according to St. Paul 57 Husbands must Love their Wives ib. Wives must be submissive to their Husbands 58 Reciprocal Duties of Man and Wife 59 The Love of Husbands to their Wives according to St. Paul 61 Why Marriage is a Sacrament ib. What kind of Submission the Wife must yeild 62 Laws of Marriage according to the Cannons and the Fathers 63 That Jealousie is inconsistent with these Principles 66 CHAP. V. Of Jealousie of Husbands and the Remedies thereof 69 That Jealousie is Cruel ib. The more Virtuous the Wife is the more Jealous a sensual Man is ibid. The more understanding a sensual Man has the more Jealous he is 70 The Jealousie of Mithridates ib. The Jealousie of Herod 71 That this Jealousie is incureable ib. Jealousie of weakness and its Remedy 72 Formal and Violent Jealousie 76 The Remedies thereof 76 The pernitious Effects of Adultery 77 That Domestick Peace is an inestimable good 79 The Dangerous Effects of lying 81 The bad Consequences of Pride 83 The Advantagious Consequences of Patience 86 〈…〉 n the last place to have recourse to God 87 CHAP. VI. The Jealousie of Women and the Remedy thereof 88 The Jealousie of Women is more dangerous then that of Men. ib. The abuse of the Reasons alledged for the Jealousie of Women 89 1. Whether Submission be reciprocal or not since the Bonds are equally indissoluble on both parts and the Sexes are equal as they say ibid. That Submission regards only the Woman 92 2. Whether the Power of the Woman over her Husbands Body make her equal with him in all other things or not 113 3. Whether or no a Woman may be Jealous because Adultery is equally Criminal on either Part. 115 That it is not permitted her because she is his Inferiour 115 4. Whether or no Jealousie is a Crime to cause Divorce since the Scriptures have not expressed it nor spoke against it 117 5. Whether or no a Woman that is Honest and Faithful may be Jealous 122 That the Honesty of a Wife gives her no priviledg to be Jealous 123 Remedies against the Jealousie of Women 125 The Woman must not in any case be Jealous and so she cuts off all occasions to the Husband 127 Women must speak only with their good Actions ibid. She must use all the Vertues opposite to the Vices of her Husband 128 The Sincerity of the Heart 129 Mildness in Discourse 130 Submissive Love ibid. Agreeableness of Humour 132 Sincere Vertue only begets Love 136 The certain effects of these Counsels 137 CHAP. VII That it is True and Reasonable Love that produces Peace in Marriage 139 That Jealousie causes hatred instead of Love 139 That it returns back upon themselves that are Jealous 140 That it is Contagious and Communicative and in the End causes Separation 141 From whence comes Reciprocal Jealousie 142 The true and real Love of a Husband 143 An Example of the real Love of an Arabian 144 An Example of the Love of Joseph to his Virgin 146 The means for Women to preserve Peace 147 Bad Education a Cause of Division in Marriage ibid. The Abuse of Matchmakers 148 That Meekness in a Woman is an excellent Quality 150 The Woman mnst Conform herself to her Husband 151 Examples of the Loves of several Women 152 Example of the Love of a Tartar Woman 153 The Praise of a Good and Honest Wife 156 The Conclusion and Abridgment of the whole Work 158 A TREATISE OF JEALOUSIE Or Means to preserve PEACE in MARRIAGE CHAP. I. Of the Subject of the ensuing Treatise THe Errour into which the greatest part of the World is apt to fall believing That Jealousie is not only an ordinary Effect of 〈…〉 ve but even the strongest and most 〈…〉 nvincing proof of its Ardure has gi 〈…〉 n occasion to the transmitting this 〈…〉 eatise abroad Jealousie say they in speaking properly an excess of Love which because of excess may properly be led a sickly Love viz. A Love that flames with the Fire or greatest heat of a Lever and by consequence is the strongest Ardure that true Love is capable of So that a Person presumes to himself Honour and to render his Love very commendable when he expresses an exceeding Jealousie Since Jealousie in this excess is the highest degree that Love can reach to It is this Errour which is designed in this Treatise to Encounter with all It is this Jealousie unbounded that Introduces these Civil-Broâ—ls into Families that kindles the Fire of Discord between Man and Wife and that breaks their Matrimonial-bands which we shall in this Treatise endeavour to destroy and the rather since Erroneous Abuse would Authorize it though in it self so pernicious That it may be the better known it is requisite in the first place to distinguish it from certain other Jealousies which indeed do retain its name but not at all its qualities Some do excite in them selves as we have had the experience certain feign'd and counterfeit Jealousies which they use to amuse or posse 〈…〉 some simple or stupid Genius's withal As for example some Husbands pretend 〈…〉 o 〈…〉 be Jealous of their wives to perswade them of the entireness of their Love according to these false Principles we now endeavour to refute and to give way to this sort of Reasoning My Husband is Jealous of me therefore â—e must have a most Aâ—dâ—nt Love for me On the other hand there are certain Females which neither being Ignorant of this popular Maxime fail not to make 〈…〉 t a Vei 〈…〉 o cover other designs They 〈…〉 re themselves to death with wearying their Husbands by affected Jealousies yea and often succeed so happily that the most part instead of warily avoiding the Pallacie give place for advantage by their Transports flattering themselves that their own Merits are the motives of these Passions and at the same time languish with tender resentments of such their extraordinary Testimonies of their Love which notwithstanding are no more than tricks of nimble Wiâ—â— they will not dare to open their Mouths to complain of any thing amiss they number their very 〈…〉 ces they constrain themselves in every thing and abstain from any thing aâ—g 〈…〉 give offence 〈…〉 east say they we should cast these poor Women into Despair but we shall not at all meddle with these Personated Comâ—dies intending to treat only of real Evils
natural Right the Empire into the hands of the Man because of the Nobility of his Sex and imposing upon the Woman because of the Weakness of hers an indespensable necessity to respect and obey her Husband And this is a Prerogative given by the Sex not onely to Man but also to all sorts of Animals that the Female should be subject and under the Power of the Male as we may see by experience in every particular Species where we may observe that the Male is larglier endowed with what respects the province of Commanding than the Female and particularly in Man who has in speaking generally a more large and penetrating Wit more Prudence a greater Grandure and Elevation of the Mind more courage and more strength than Women so the Family of a Man is compared to a Monarchy where there is but one alone that commands The Subordination therefore is so Essential to Marriage that all Nations of the World yea these that have had no other Light than that of Nature have at all times agreed to make the Man Master yea and Sovereign Judg of the Woman These People being perswaded that the Men ought to be Govern'd by the Publick Laws but the Women by the Laws of their Husbands insomuch that the Woman could not be equally priviledged with her Husband in the use of any of the advantages of this Society but only by this due Submission Aristotle saith that a respect or proportion ought to be observed in Friendships where the one is more Excellent than the other For since there is no real or equal Friendship but between Persons that are equal it is requisite then that a Person Inferiour prosecute his Amity with Respect to the end that this Respect join'd with his Amity may correspond to the Superiority of the Amity of the other and so make up that Equality which is the Property of Friendship The Wife that with Submission to her Husband Bows Thereby's his Equal SEXTUS Lawrels Crown her Brows Saith Martial The Husband then must be the sole Master of the Family and all his Commands without Appeal Yea his Power over his Family is in some respects greater than the Power of a King over his Estates and though the Woman Govern the House yet it is under the Authority of her Husband Neither does this Subordination tend to the Discouragement or Shame of the Woman from which it is so far that on the contrary nothing Contributes so much to her Honour as this due Respect Compliance and Obedience For it is the only Vertue and Character of an Honest Wife whereby she gains more Praises than by all other Advantages she can have other ways when she acquits her self duly of this Duty without any Repugnancy Wives saith Plutarch deserve Praises when they Submit to their Husbands but on the contrary When they Act the Mistress they wound Decency and so much the more that their Hnsbands suffer them to Command So if any Demand what ought Naturally to be the true Rule of Conduct to Married Persons between themselves as well as of all other sorts of Friendship it is no other thing than to Observe the Right that each one has in this Society to the End that retaining themselves within the Bounds that are thereby prescribed to them they may preserve between themselves that Harmony and Agreement which causes the Union of divers Persons to subsist and which is the ground of Amity in Marriage In sum Love or Amity is the Bond of this Society for it could be no more a Society without Union and there can be no Union without Love For which Reason the Submission of the Wife as well as the Command of the Husband must be unmoveably grounded upon Love that Pleasure Advantage and Peace may Reign which Nature looks upon as the Chief End of this to be admired Conjunction The Husband must be Master of his Wife not as a Man is Master of a Thing in which he has a Property and may dispose of at his Pleasure but as the Soul is Master of the Body whose Sensations are all common to it and to whom it is joined in a strait Unity so that the Soul has a care of the Body without nevertheless condescending to all its Enormities or Disorder of Passions Even so the Government of the Husband ought to be a Government of Joy Consolation and Amity a The Ancients were wont to place Mercury near to Venus to shew that the pleasure of Marriage consists particularly in the Consolation of Convers whereof Mercury is a Symbole They gave her likewise for Companions the Goddess of Perswasion and the Graces intimating thereby that Husbands should Command with Perswasions and not with Threats Now Love is an Act of the Soul in prosecution of a Judgment already made whereby it Wills to be joined with the thing it esteems Good that is to say to pass of it self into the Object Beloved and by this Conjunction of the Will to make up no more than one entire of which as we may apprehend the Lover Constitutes one part and the thing Loved another My Soul 's Transplanted to another Place I 'm not at all where I do seem to be Where none ere did or ere shall see my Face My Love there fixes both my Soul and me Saith Plautus So Love causes us as it were to put on or assume intirely the Person Loved that if it may be so said we have no more Soul to Animate us withal of our own but use that of the Person we Love instead of our own that is to say we Relinquish all the Thoughts Desires and Actions of our own Soul to conform them to these of the Person Loved so that all the Actions and Thoughts of his Soul are ours or the same that our Soul Acts or Thinks we Desire what he shall Inspire us to Desire we Hate whatsoever we see him Hate we Fear what he Fears In short we Dispute nothing but with his Thoughts and upon his Principles nor do we Will any thing but by his Will that is we Desire nothing but what he Wills and to abridg the Description in one word with Aristotle The Person whom we Love is our other self It is this Love that is altogether Divine since it has no other Motive but Vertue It is this Love that is so much Affected and Transported with that which it finds Laudable in the thing Loved that it makes it its whole Delight And it is this generous Love that has made so many Lovers Renown'd Now you see in short what Love is We have also shewed what Marriage is And as we have supposed before that there is no Jealousie without Love yea such Love as can mutually Unite the Hearts of Man and Woman It is now time to see where this Jealousie we speak of ought to be placed since then Marriage on the Mans part is nothing else but
reason of which is because the Man is obliged both by the Rules of Scripture and by the Dignity and Rank which he Occupies in thâ— Matrimonial Fellowship to Rule hâ—â— Wife and all his Family in right Discipline and in their Duties Take heeâ— saith the Preacher that you make nâ— the least passage for the Water that is tâ— say that you open not the gate of Libertâ— to a perverse Woman And in another place he saith do not make the Wifâ— Mistress of your Secrets least She takâ— upon her the Authority that belongs to theâ— and thou fallest into Shame Foâ— which Cause an Husband saith a Learned Man ought to remember himself that he is not born for the Woman buâ— the Woman is born for him and thaâ— he ought to accustom her to the thingâ— that belong to her Duty and to be have her self on such a manner as She may know that She is only a Helper to her Husband in his Travails and whereof She is to take such part as He shalâ— think sit but not a Mistress to live in Idleness c to this end therefore he is obliged to have a careful Eye over her by the Duty Incumbent on a Husband So that he is obliged to reprove his Wife seasonably and also permitted as being Master to make use of moresevere Means if the Disorder appear â—o be firmlier Rooted in her Mind But â—n the contrary She because She is â—ubject to her Husband has in no Case Right to open her Mouth to Reprove Him Yet let not all this be underâ—tood as if the Husband did not wrong his Wife when he violates his Faith to her Nuptial Bed Yet notwithstanding â—t is an Injury the Condition of the Wife will not allow her any priviledge to contend with or reprove her Husband for it being received into the House of her Husband in the Quality of a Suppliant as Aristotle saith Now you see the Objections that Jealousie produces for its self together with their Answers deduced from Scripture and the Cannonical Law But the good and reasonable Wife will reply what must be done then to retrive and correct a licentious Husband And upon the same Grounds we Answer that She must do the same things She should do to correct a Husband that 's Jealous So in like manner as we have done in the Jealousie of Husbands we must also here distinguish that which has real Grounds from that which arises only from Suspitions or from the Report of some Persons thaâ— often cloak over dangerous designs with these kind of Informations And in general let her take for her Rules what we have said for the Cure of the Jealousie of Men which may likewise serve for that of Women In particular if it arise only from Opinions with which her sensual desires and idle manner of living doâ— poyson her Mind the surest means will be to condemn them her self and to suppress them before they can come to be known calling to remembrance that if it be not permitted to the Wife to make Arguments in a real Injustice much less then in what has no other ground but her own distrust and of which none can be blamed besides her self She must put out of her mind all Imaginations that tend that way and apply her thoughts to some other things that are good in themselves and particularly to what may be necessary in the conduct of her Family and to work with her own hands for it is very certain than an idle and unexercised Life which begets as we intimated before these careful unsetled and vagrant cogitations would of it self alone be sufficient to keep Jealousie a foot yea although the mind had naturally no inclination thereto But if she be Jealous with some good Reason or Grounds and be convinced by manifest Proofs for as we said just now she must not herein trust her self then she must do and what Even the very same thing She must call to mind her condition that is She must retain her self in that Station wherein Reason and Nature have constituted the Woman Now since they have forbid them to command or to censure they must employ mildness and loving entreaties and infinuate themselves into the minds of their Husbands with Speeches that are honest Respectuous and full of Love and Charity thereby letting them know that the injury done by them is rather to themselves than them And if such charitable admonitions should produce no effect then they must remain humble and silent for in one word the only means to reduce a straying Husband is the Vertue of a Wife And since she is not allowed to speak with her Tongue in Arguing Terms it remains for her then to make her Actions plead for her effectually For as we said before nothing in the World is so effectual as good Examples they penetrate both the Mind and the Affections and that man must be certainly void either of Wit or of natural Love that does not return and amend when he sees his Wife contain her self in Honesty Humility Mildness Silence and Obedience whilest he goes Astray and le ts loose the Reins of his Sensuality For which Reason it behoves her that she stear her Course altogether contrary to the Actions of her Husband that are vitious If the blindness of his Passion lead him Astray after some Person she must have a special care of her self that she do not fall into any kind of Lewdness for this would be the same thing as to dig a Ditch for her self If he be seldom at home let her be sure to keep her self within doors If he be Prodigal and Extravagant in Expenses she must play the good Husband and deprive even her own Person of things that she might otherwise have provided with greater Magnificence and Splendour If he be of a hasty and passionate Temper let her not offer to speak to him in his Passion but watch his time and fit opportunity let her Imitate the Prudent and Judicious Abigal who was good and gentle towards her Domesticks so Humble and so Patient towards her Husband that she never contradicted him but excusing and taking in good part all his defaults and vices He having scornfully refused provisions to David and thereby occasioned that Prince to vow his Dsteruction and all his Families to that end David Marching with an Army intended to put them all to the Sword and Fire which when this Illustrious Matron understood She without letting it be known to her Husband takes store of Provisions and other Presents and goes to meet David and throwing her self at his Feet obtained Mercy for her Husband and all his House This done She returns and finding her Husband Drunk She was so Discreet as not to speak to him till the day following and then observing his Wine to be evaporated She let him know the great Danger She had preserved him from But above all things let these Women that would
her Husband being Surpriz'd with this new change had some Doubts whether oâ— no it might come from his own Wife she confessing it this Tenderness oâ— hers touch'd his Heart so Lively that he broke off his Execrable Engagements to Observe his Natural Obligations to so Honest a Wife Another in like manner a little grown in Years Observing that a Young Woman drew her Husband every Day to her Lodgings provided a Lodging for her in her own House entertaining her with the greatest welcomness imaginable to the end she might keep her Husband at home and if at any time he might Sup abroad with this Young Woman she would be sure to send them her best Mess and wish them to make Merry which Submission at last had the same Effect on this Husband that we related of the other Now to repeat in Two words all that we have said the Wife ought not in the least to complain that her Husband does not Love her but ought on such occasion to discharge her Duty with a redoubled Diligence and so â—ender her self Ameable to the end he may Love her And as it is neither Riches nor Beauty nor a Formal or â—tudied kind of Bravery which most Women are affected withal that can â—eget true Love it must follow then that there is nothing besides Vertue that renders a Woman Lovely And by this Vertue attended with Meekness and Condescention the Wife shall assuredly Reduce and Reform an Enormous Husband either sooner or later I mean if it be not a Feigned â—or Dissembled Vertue which she may make use of for a time in a Sleight but a true and sincere Vertue which intimately Teaches her Heart and of which all her Actions by an Uremitting Uniformity bear a certain and perpetual Testimony And indeed it is most certainly true that a Woman beset with Jealousie yet practising Vertue and keeping her Passion in Subjection to Reason and to the Precepts which Nature Justice and God himself have Prescribed to her by injoyning her as we have said to have a Submission Respect and Obedience to her Husband will much sooner obtain her honest design of Conquering and Reforming her lewd Husband and with less trouble to her self than she possibly can do with her cross Humours her Jarrings her Quarrellings her Obstinacies her Melancholy or with her Despairing Madness Fury or Envy so that it is likewise this Vertue that diverts a curse from the Family and instead thereof procures the Blessing of Peace It is this that gives a Woman the height of Renown in the World And it is by this that she truly Merits the qualification of an honest Wife And lastly it is in this most humble and most prudent manner only that a Woman must be Jealous to gain Reputation and not in following the Dictates of corrupted Nature as too-too many People of the World do CHAP. VII That it is True and Reasonable Love that produceth Peace in Marriage ACcording to the Principles which we have proposed it is easie to perceive that the Love which begets Sensual Jealousie is not at all that that produces Reciprocal Love and by consequence Peace in Marriage since instead of inclining them to do these things that procure Love on the contrary it inclines them to do every thing that 's capable to procure them Hatred We have I suppose sufficiently shown that these Distrusts these secret Contrivances these Rebukes and these Heats of Passion which Jealousie suggest are so far from being capable to prevent or cure the Evil that 's fear'd that on the contrary they only stir it up and bring a scandal upon it over and above So that we may Establish for an unquestionable Maxim that Jealousie returns back upon themselves that are Jealous and that it serves them to no other use but to fret their Minds and to disturb them Day and Night with Fears and Suspitions which yet most times are no more than Dreams and Chimaeras and Lastly to make them undergo the most unparalel'd Torments in the World It serves I say to no other end but to Toil themselves and vainly to weary all that Converse with them much like to Mastiâ—f-Dogs that watch about a House that Rave whilst Sleeping Disturb and Torment themselves and by their Barking and Howling give the Alarm and put all that are in the House into a Fright and Trouble And in short it only serves to Disgrace themselves by discovering those Sordid Passions that Agitate their Souls For as every one Contemns a Man saith our Philosopher that is Jealous of his Riches because it proceeds from his Avarice so in like manner they disesteem him that 's Jealous of his Wife because that proceeds from his Sensuality And indeed it is an evident Testimony that he does not Love his Wife as he ought to do and that he has an ill opinion either of her or of himself For if he had a real Love for her he would have no Inclination to Distrust her But it is not her directly that he Loves it is only the Possession of her and he fears the less thereof because either he knows himself to be unworthy of it or that she is Unfaithful To all this we may add That Jealousie is a means by so much the less capable to produce the effect desired in that it is a Contagious Evil which Communicates it self and Infects with the same Distemper the other Party which before was altogether free from it so that thereby instead of One there are Two found Diseased and instead of some small hopes of Peace which was before there arises a continual and irreconcileable Warfare the mildest Remedy whereof must be a Separation We may be fully and thorowly convinced of this Truth if we look upon the infinite number of separations of Marriages which the Magistrates are obliged to make every Year for the preventing of disasters not to be conceiv'd without Horrour which would otherwise ensue If we examine thâ— causes of these separations to the bottom and not rest upon these that appear or are pretended we shall find under thâ—se pretexts that are always specious and plausible that the Truth is that Jealousie introducing and nourishing between the Married couple ill Humours capricious Actions Suspitions Scrutinies Reproaches and transports of Passion continually and without end they have made themselves so insupportable the one to the other that the Law was necessitated to interpose between them like a Grate between Savage Beasts The reason of this reciprocal Jealousie is easily to be found for the Party that is not Jealous seeing the other to be so and knowing that he must be so because he Judges him criminal and withal knowing that those that think themselves Armed with Justice for Revenge will do any thing that may contribute to it he conceives a Suspition himself that the other may Revenge himself by the Infidelity which this other Judges him guilty of which Ripening by
to procure wherewithal to Pay her Redemption she Perished there and was never heard of more which left the Generous Tartar in Peaceable Possession of her Husband and in perfect Unity with him the rest of her Days Behold the Effects of True Love Behold the Effects of Honest and Lawful Jealousie that Enclines and Inspires such generous Lovers to deprive themselves of their Dearest Enjoyments and Rights to please their Husbands to Employ all their Strength and Power to Free them from Enemies from Exiles from Prisons from Torments yeâ— from Death and Dieing themselves foâ— them It is on this manner that Jealousie iâ— an Excess of Love and especially iâ— this Jealousie retains it self within the Bounds which the Religion we Profess prescribes to it and which these Ancientâ— were Ignorant of Yea It is this Prudent Jealousie that is the Effect of Discreet Love as this Love is the Effect of Meekness Willingness Modesty Submission and Vertue of the Wife which works such Wonders and Produces that Peace in Marriage that cannot be Sufficiently esteem'd It is this which the Wise King understands when he says Who so findeth a good Wife findeth a good Thing and Obtaineth Favour of the Lord. So likewise we are Commanded Not to keep our selves at a distance from an understanding Woman which one has received in the Fear of the Lord for the Favour of her Countenance is more Precious than Gold And likewise it is written Happy is he that abideth with an understanding Wife Happy is the Husband of a good and Vertuous Wife the Number of his Years shall be doubled And â—ikewise that She is an Excellent Lot That She is the Lot of them that Fear God That She shall be given to them for their good Works But of the Vertues of a good Wife it is Meekness that is the Joy of her Husband and Distributes Strength to his Bones also to speak little For this is a Testimony of her good Understanding A Wife of good Understanding saith the same Apochrypha Loveth silence nothing is comparable to a Soul that is well instructed or that hath Reservation In short Gold cannot stand in comparison with the Price of a good Wife It is then Meekness Civility Modesty Silence Understanding and Prudence that renders a VVife Commendable that renders her Aimable Dear and Precious beyond all the goods and all the Treasures of the World It is by these Vertues that she gains herself Renown in being Jealous and not at all by that Jealousie which has only self Love for its Object and is Grounded upon Sensuality and which by consequence dishonours Man by rendering him like to Beasts But to Conclude and to Reduce a 〈…〉 the Counsells we have given to Husbands as well as Wives into one maxime which may easily be Imprinted in theiâ— Memories we shall only resume thaâ— Rule which an Ancient Father of the Church has recommended to them in two VVords in which he Comprehends in short both the Mutual Duties of Married People and the infallible means to entertain Peace in Marriage Let not the Wife Saith this Reverend Father Pretend an Equal Right in Marriage since she is under a Head and let not the Husband despise his Wife because she is Subject to him since she is his Body Let the Woman therefore always look upon her Husband as her Superiour and let the Husband Love his Wife as his own Body and they shall Live in Peace FINIS Some Books Printed for and Sold by W. Freeman over against the Devil Tavern by Temple-Bar in Fleetstreet THe Penitent Pardoned or a Discourse of the Nature of Sin and the Efficacy of Repentance under the Parable of the Prodigal Son by J. Goodman D. D. Rectour of Hadham and one of His Majesties Chaplains in Ordinary The Second Edition Corrected and Enlarged Cuarto The Funeral Rites and Ceremonies of all Nations in Use through the known World With a Discourse concerning Burial and the Laws on that Behalf Written Originally in French by the Ingenious Mounsieur Muret. To which is added a Vindication of Chriscianity against Paganism Translated by P. Lorrain Gent. Twelves Scarrons Novels c. The Fruitless Precaution The Hypocrites The Innocent Adultery The Judg in his own Cause The Rival Brothers The Invisible Mistress The Unexpected Choice Rendred into English with some Additions by J. Davies Gent. The Manners of the Israelites in Threâ— Parts 1. Of the Patriarchs 2. Of thâ— Israelites after their coming out of Aegypt until the Captivity of Babylon 3. Of the Jews after their Return untiâ— the Preaching of the Gospel Shewing their Customs Secular and Religious their Generous Contempt of Earthly Grandeur and the great Benifit and Advantage of a plain Laborious Frugal and Contented Life The Golden Grove a Choice Mannuel containing what is to be Believed Practiced and Desired and Prayed for the Prayers being fitted to the several Days of the Week To which is Added A Guide for the Penitent Composed for the Use of the Devout especially of Younger Persons by Jeremy Taylor D. D. Twelves ☞ There is now in the Press a New Book which will be Published in few Days Entituled Daily Exercise for a Christian or A Manual of Private Devotions consisting of Prayers Praises and Thanksgivings as well for every Day in the Week as upon particular Occasions Composed by a Person of Exemplary Piety for his own Use As for me and my House we will Serve the Lord Josh 24. 15. Price 1 s. The common Errour in the nature of Jealousie Feigned Jealousies of Married People Feigned Jealousies of Lovers That Correction from a Husband is no effect of Jealousie Des Cart. Treatise of Pass Jealousie in it self is Innocent What real or naughty Jealousie is That Christian Religion must be the rule of Passion That Passions are good and the Principles of our Actions a Existimandum profecto est constare animal u 〈…〉 civitatem bene legibus munitam Ar. de anim motu 〈…〉 The Strusture of the Body External Organs Internal Organs Vse of tâ—â— Internal Organs a Nâ—â—â—sse est pâ—osâ—â—â—â— pâ—â—â—câ— pâ—â—m motâ—s 〈◊〉 mâ—diâ— ess movâ—â—â—â—â—ramae utâ—â—rumqueâ—nim etremorâ—â—st 〈…〉 ultimâ—m Ariâ—â—â—ttle anim cap. 9. The Animal Spirits How Sensation is made Where and how the Passions are formed * Biben dum est mihi dictat cupiditas hoc autem esse poâ—ulâ—â— tum sensus vel phantasia vel mens affirmat confestim bibitur Arist de animi mot c. 7. a Phantasia distincta a sensibus quia vel ipsis quies centibus ad est ut in â—omno Arist de ani â— 3. cap. 4. b Cogitatio imaginatio agentes adducunt affectiones nam agentium species reproesentant Arist de anim moâ— c. 11. That the Body acts and moves it self by the conformation of its Members without the help of the Soul a That Blood is the Soul of Beasts Deut. 12. 23. b Joh. 13. That Beasts have not Passions but
only certain Impulses resembling them c Muta animalia humanis affectibus carent habent autem similes illis quosdam impulsus Sen. de Isa lib. 3. cap. 3. d Des Cart. a Des Cart. tr de hom art 16. 55. * Ratiocinari nâ—lli in est â—â—i non sit ratio Ar. de an l. 3. c. 3. Quibusdam bestiâ—â— phantasia non vero ratio inest id lib. c. 4. The Excellency of the Soul of Man b Intellectus est separabilis non mix 〈…〉 us impatibilis cum essentialiter sit actus Faculties of the Soul The Memory The Imagination The Judgment and Discourse a Anima nunquam intelligit sine phantasmate Arist de an l. 3. c. 6 b Rohault Phys part 1. c. 2. The principal Seat of the Soul The power of Passion over the Soul The warfare between the Spirit and Flesh The Empire of the Soul over the Body a Non in moderandis affectibus sapientiae ratio versatur sed in causis â—orum quoniam extrinsecùs moventur Nec ipsis potissimum fraenas imponi opportuit quoniam exigâ—i esse possunt in maximo crimine maximi esse possun sine crimine Lact. The mutual correspondency between the Soul 〈…〉 d the 〈…〉 dy What it is that we call the Passions of the Soul Non est quod anima aliquid patiatur sed quia id patitur in quo est anima Arist de an l. 1. c. 5. Of the number of the Passions of the Soul How the Passions are produced What Fear is What Jealousie is Jealousie is only between Married People That Man does naturally desire Society and why a Grot. de Jur. bel pac proleg 6. Homo civile animal est ad Societatem vitae aptum naturâ Arist Nicom l. 9. c. 9. From whence Love comes b Arist Nicom mach l. 8. c. 14. a Naturalis Societas maximè est inter marem foeminam Arist de cur rei fam l. 1. c. 3. Vid. Plato leg 1. Ecclesiast c. 13. a Ipsa natura hoc circuitu complet perpetuitatem vitae specie nimirum cum nequeat numero Arist de cur rei fam l. 1. c. 3. Des. Cart. Tr. de pass What Marriage is a Arist nicomach l. 8. c. 4. That Marriage as all other Societies subsists by the Subordination of its Parts a Grot. de jur be pac l. 2. c. 5. §. 8 12. * Prodignitate enim vir imperat in quibus opportet virum imperare quae mulieri conveniunt ea permittit Arist nicom l. 8. c. 12. a Vxor marito in honestis scilicet obtemperabit non aliter quam si illiusdomum venisset empta ancilla Arist de cur rei fam l. 1. b Vives de off mar c Domestica principatum habet unius Arist de cur rei fam l. 1. c. 1. All Nations give the Preeminence to the Husband d Lege Romuli Vxor ita fuit in manu viri ut de crimine ejus omni cum propinquis cognosceret statueretque Tacit. Ann. 2. Paucissima in tam numerosa Germanica gente ad ulteria quorum poena praesens marito permissa accissis crinibus nudatam coram propinquis expellit domo maritus ac per omnem vicum verbere agit Tacit. de mor. Germ. e Nicom l. 8. c. 8. a Viv. de off Mar. Rules for Persons that are Married b Viro cum uxore omnino amico cum amico quomodo sit vivendum si quaeratur nihil aliud est quam quaerere quid inter eos juris intercedat Ar. nic l. 8. c. 14. That Love is the foundation of Marriage Plut. Conjug Prax. What true Love is a Des Cart. Tr. de Pass b Laert. l. 8. c. 2. c Idem velle atque idem nolle ea demum firma amacitia Salust d Amicus alter idem Nicom l. 9. c. 9. Sensual Jealousie can have no place in true Marriage It is Sensual Love that creates Jealousie Where Sensual Love is a Pausa l. in Symp. Psaâ— Des cart tr de pass a Sunt qui utilitates in amicitiis spectant ut epicurei despicabiles sordidi homines amore indigni ut qui amicum non amant sed seipsos Viv. de off mat Persons of understanding reckon it not honourable to be Jealous Jealousie breaks off the Society which God himself has estblished Why God established Marriage Of the force of the Vinion of Marriage a Mat. 19. 4. b Jausen in concord Evang c. 11. a Viv. de off mar b Mat. 32. â—â—at Jeaâ—â—usie is in 〈…〉 sistant with the Marriage of Christiâ—â—s Contracts of Marriage occording to St. Paul Husbands must Love their Wives a Ephes 5. 25. b Ephes 5. 28. c Estius in Epist ad Eph. c. 5. v. 22. b Viv. de â—ff mar That Wives must submit to their Husbands a Eph. 5. 22. Reciprocal Duty of Man and Wife b Qui 〈◊〉 ligit uxâ—rem suâ— corpus suum diligit pro inde seipsum â—i quantum caput corpus unim quid constitum Estius in Epis 1 ad cor 7. 4. * 1 Epist to Tit. 2. 4. a Habet viri amor presens continuo suum praemium in pectus uxoris transit ea flamma ut ea quoque flagrantissime amet viv de off mar The Love of Husbands to their wives according to St. Paul Why Marriage is a Sacrament Note This is a Tenet of the Romish Doctrine which it seems the Aut. profest and though our Religion does not allow it to be a Sacrament because not Instituted by God as a Mistical Seal of a Covenant between him and us Yet that ought not to abrogate or lessen our esteem of it being a thing so sacred and necessary as the Author well proves in whose conclusion we may acquiess he not having a greater Veneration for it under the mistake of a Sacrament than we ought to have for it as a Law Instituted by God and so indispensably commanded by Nature What kind of Submission the Wife must yeild Laws of Marriage according to the Canons and the Fathers Vxor domina est sociare rerum mariti ipsius sed domina dicitur quia non potest agi furtum licet furtum committat Gloss Gratian. 27. q. 2. cap. 17. Gen. 3. 16. He shall Rule over thee Jealousie is Inconsistent with these Principles * See the Note at p. 61 62. Jealousie is Cruel The more Vertuous a Wife is the more Jealous an unreasonable Man is The more understanding a Sensual Man has the more Jealous he is The Jealousie of Mithridates The Jealousie of Herod a Josephus lib. 15. cap. 4. This Jealousie is incureable Jealousie of weakness and its remedie b Virea eliget quibus sibi animum uxorâ—s conciliat illam que totam devinciat propriam que possideat Arist de cur rei fam b Exemplo continentiae docenda est uxor ut se castè gerat iniquum â—st enim ut id exigas quod ipse praestare
a Superiority intirely grounded on Love since on the Womans part it is nothing else but Respect Submission and a compliance full of Love and with all true Love has neither will nor desire but what proceeds from the Person loved and since on the other hand Jealousie is that continual Anguish which is nourished with Suspitions Distrust Rage and Vexations and which declares it self in heats of Passion Obstinacy Controlings and capricious Humours as it speaks for it self where then I pray shall we place it And how can it consist with true Love in the Marriage of Persons in their right Wits It must then certainly arise from some other Original Now there are two sorts of Love the Reasonable and Brutal and since this inward Chafeing cannot in any Case proceed from the Reasonable as we have shewed it must of necessity arise from the other sort or that we call Brutal Love There are says Plato two sorts of Love one Heavenly the other altogether Earthly Earthly or Sensual Love is a blind low dishonest Love which fixes only on things contemptible and shameful and never looks up to things more elevated Divine Love on the contrary is more clear sighted and looks upon nothing but Vertue and things that excel in real Beauty and have therein a resemblance of things Coelestial Or to express it in the words of the Philosopher of this Age true or reasonable Love is like that of a Father towards his Children who desires to receive nothing from them or to possess them otherwise than he does or to be more nearly conjoyned with them than he is but considering them as his other selves he seeks after their good as his own or rather with greater care because representing to himself that he and they together make up but one entire and of which he cannot be the better Part he prefers their Interest to his own and fears not to cast himself away to save them on the contrary Brutal Love regards nothing but the possession of the Object of this Passion and not the Object it self that is a Man loves the thing for his own Interest and not for the sake of the thing it self From this Love Earthy and Carnal it is that Jealousie proceeds by this Love it is we pretend to Love others when indeed we Love only our selves by this we have a false Joy for the good of our Friends and a false Sorrow for their Evils for they proceed only from the peculiar Interest we have in the one or in the other by this we have a compliance and yeild obedience to their Wills indeed but they are only feign'd and dissembled to the end we may draw them to ours by this Love we fear the loss of the thing loved but it is because of the good we hope for from it The thing being so then it must be certainly true that if a Man Love not his Wife or is not Jealous of her upon any other grounds then this of self Love as he cannot be Jealous of her on any other his Jealousie does only signalize his Brutality instead of demonstrating his Love It must be true that if a Woman in like manner Love not her Husband or is not Jealous of him but by this Principle of Love of her self if she Love him for no other end than to satisfie her Passion she does thereby only render her Sensuality publick and manifest so far is this Jealousie from gaining Esteem as some pretend So that to speak after the fashion of the World we grant that Jealousie is a mark of extraordinary Love yet it is an extraordinary Love of ones self that it is an excess of Love yet it is an excess of Concupiscence That it is the supream Degree of Sensuality and therefore there can be nothing that dishonours a Man more than Jealousie that would have himself believed to be guided by the use of right Reason nor can a Woman that would be accounted Modest or Prudent render her self more ridiculous or procure a greater contempt of her self by any thing than by being Jealous CAAP. IV. Of the Marriage of Christians according to the primary Institution thereof by God himself and its re-establishment by Christ IF Jealousie be in no Case suitable to Married Persons according to the Order of Nature it must be infinitely less becoming these Persons that profess the Name of Christianity for Jealousie breaks the Bands of Society that God himself established in the Creation of Men and Women and destroys the very Essence of Marriage by which he would unite them that thereby they might have the oppertunity to perform all the Duties that true Love requires of them in all their occasions and that the more for that we ought not only to consider the Inclination that Nature has Imprinted in every Animal to produce its like but the Intention and Will of the Author of Nature all whose precepts we are obliged to perform for by these very precepts at the end of time we shall be Judged either to Life or to Death And we must know that God established Marriage to be a Society of Man and Woman wherein they are united by an Indissoluble tye and that this Tie is no other than a Band of Love which God employs as an Instrument to preserve Nature and to make Charity Spring here below amongst Men until he shall be pleased one day to perfect it in Heaven by the fulness of his Love In short could the Love which ought to be the Band of Marriage be better expressed or more efficaciously enjoyn'd than when God says the Man shall leave his Father and Mother to cleave to his Wife and to be one Flesh with her and that this is a Conjunction made by the hand of God which no Man ought to break Likewise a famous Divine explaining this Passage saith that the Union of the Husband ought to be nearer and more inseperable with his Wife than with his Parents for as much as the Wife of the first Man was Formed of part of his Body when as a Man is not Formed of part of his Parents Body God willing thereby give us to know that Married Persons ought to be firmly United one to the other as though they were no more than one single Person and that Marriage was instituted to make them one Flesh by means of the Nuptial Bed This is indeed the Natural consequence of these Words he shall eleave to his Wife and they two shall be one Flesh The Man shall cleave saith God that is by Love in loving her as his own proper Body and by the Nuptial Bed whose Bands are not to be unloosed What is it in effect to quit ones Father and Mother and cleave to his Wife but to Love her with that affection that surpasses all other Even that that Naturally Unites the Hearts of Children to their Parents which is the strongest and tenderest of all other affections besides
Obey and Submit her self to her Husband it necessarily follows that if the Husband only Love his Wife with a Sensual Love which give way for him to commit a Thousand Outrages against her and the Woman not Humbling her self and Submitting to her Husband they destroy the Commands of God the one for being a Tyrant instead of a Father and the other for not only Transgressing the Rules of Obedience which is her Lot but also Extinguishing the Love God has Commanded her Husband to have for her by her Vexatious Humour And indeed if he Love her afterwards as he is Obliged to do by the Rules of Charity he can have no other Love for her than such a one as a Man has for an open Enemy not a Tender and Holy Love Which being so there remains no more Conjugal Love no more Union nor no more Society for which God Instituted Marriage CHAP. V. Of the Jealousie of Husbands and the Remedies thereof IF you will descend now from these general Truths to particular Actions you will then see the Effects of what we have advanced But who can be capable to play the Painter hereof aright Who can be able to give a right Idea in Words of the Unhappiness of Marriage when for Example the Power of a Husband falls into the Hands of a Man Distracted with this Brutal Jealousie with that Jealousie so Blind and Enraged that even the Vertue it self of the Person Beloved Irritates and Excites it Every Day gives the experience of this Surprising Truth For as there can be nothing that Attracts the Heart so much as Vertue by how much the Woman indued therewith possesseth a larger share and by consequence becoming so much the more Aimable by so much their Passion makes them more afraid of the loss and burns with more vehemency So that to undertake the decipherin the inhuman ties of this Brutallity when it is arrived to the excess of Blindneâ—s and Fury as it often falls out were to undertake the Description of the Cruelties of a Savage mad Beast that nothing can Reduce or Tame But what is yet more deplorable in these Persons then in the very Beasts these that are most in lightned with Natural understanding do suffer themselves to be transported with this Passion more than any other if they be sensual For as their Wit is quick and piercing so it is Suspitious their Distrust arising from that very extent of their Apprehension whereby they understand or at least believe they understand the most abstruce and hidden things So we see that the best Genius's are the most Subject to these kind of Transports when their Natural Inclination possesses the Authority that is due to Reason If you desire Examples we may take that which History first supplies us withal of Mithridates K. of Pontus whose Vertuous Qualities and Great Power made him thought worthy by the Romans to Employ their Armes upon This Prince beset with the Passion of this kind of Love we speak of for Monime his Queen who was endued with an excellent Beauty and had yet a greater share of Vertue as the Author of the History has it kept her all her life as in a Prison with Eunuchs and Barbarians and at last being Defeated by the Romans he sent a Slave to cut her Throat fearing least She might fall in the hands of his Vanquishers as even after Death he would be jealous of her Herod the Great who surpassed all the Princes of his time in political prudence would imitate him in that for he had given orders twice to put his Wife to Death if Antonius and afterwards Augustus to whom he was obliged to come and Justify himself in some Affairs of Government should have taken away his own Life and moreover at last through Jealousie upon false Reports he condemned her to die although as as the Historian saith She was a Princess extreemly Chast and Vertuous We should never have done if we should expatiate upon this Subject but we shall not exaggerate the pernicious effects of this Passion it being our Duty and Task to suppress them and is much more Incumbent upon us to heal the Sore if possible than to reveal its detestible Consequences But what mean can be used to give Light to one that naturally blind or how can Counsel be Administred to one that stops his Earâ— to all Reason Yet since as I hope it is true there is no Christian will suffer himself to be hurried to these extreems of Infidels and Men below the range of Savage Beasts We shall leave them to themselves as God has already done and direct our Discourse to such as have their groundwork yet sound and whose Minds are onely like the Sun covered and darkned with Clouds which once scattered he resumes his former Lustre Jealous Persons may be divided into two Claâ—â—es the first is of these whose Jealousie is rather a weakness of the Mind than an inward resentment of the Passion the other is of those whose Jealousie is a formal Blindness that quite overthrows Reason A Husband that is Jealous and in the first Rank which we may call reasonably Jealous because Reason is not altogether blinded with Passion in them ought always to regard two things in â—he Jealousie he has of his Wife The first is if the Fear he has be grounded upon any likelyhood or appearance of â—ruth and the second whether it be â—or grounded onely on bare suspicions â—nd indeed since this tends to the taking away of the Honour of the Wife which is in some cases equal to life it self and since the Husband is the onely â—udge therein it behoovs him to have â—he same Circumspection and precaution as if he should go upon her life otherwise he commits Injustice Now if any appearance of Truth or some Dissolute Carriages give occasion to the Husband to fear a real Evil he â—ought in this Case to call to mind the Principles that we have Established and to consider with himself that not only Jealousie it self but also even his Duty obliges him on all occasions to watch and observe the Conduct of his wife and to wean and reform her Inclination from what is not good by seasonable and apt Counsels and to let her see the ill Consequences which perhaps she is not capable to discern her self of many of her Actions which yet may some of them be indifferent all which and other Instructions necessary he ought especially and with more reason endeavour to apply if he be perswaded thaâ— his Wife has not a due attention or regard over her Actions He must there let her understand with Mildness and Speeches full of Charity the Care she ought to take to shun not only the evil but much more if we may so say the appearance of evil for Reputation is unhappy in this that the bare appearance stains it equally with the Fact it self He must also shew her Examples of Vertuous Women for
accrew to Man as concord and agreement of desires between Man and Wife in their Family It is necessary then that the honest Wife who would maintain Peace and heal the Diseased Mind of her Husband do shun the company of censured Women and instead thereof do invite honest Women for their Society at home I mean such as are truly Vertuous and I say invite them since to go abroad to seek them might yet perhaps nourish the suspition of their Husbands and moreover for this Advantage that may accrew thence that her Husband may see by them Examples of the mildness and confidence of other Husbands And withal she must keep at a diâ—tance all these insignificant desires or Fancies that lead to a Childish baseâ—ess Employing her self in things that are of Moment and in governing of her House Practising these Vertues that are most contrary to these kind of Enorâ—ities applying herself to some kind of work or other thing that may give an apprehension far different from that of the disorder she may be suspected of But above all things lot her avoid lying for nothing in the World Contributes so much to rase Suspition in the Husband and a Bad Esteem of her self in the World as this Vice which being an infallible token of a double deceitful Mind the apprehension there of drives the Husband into distrusts and Jealousies that cannot be retrived As on the contrary Candour and Ingenuity have so much Power over the Mind of Man that although it were even almost overcome by some apparent Circumstances and yeilding to suspetions yet they fortifie it so that it will give its self the lie Now when I say she must avoid lying It is to be understood even in things private and of the smallest Moment as well as in things of greater Importance because that a lie in the one as well as in the other does produce the same Effect in the Mind of him it is related to We have hereof a Signal Example in History of Eudosia Wife to the Emperour Theodosius a Present being made to the Emperour of an Apple which for its excessive greatness was very rare for which cause he sent it to the Empress She received it and a little after without thinking any harm gave it to one named Paulinus a Learned Man for whom she had a respect being Learned her self He not knowing from whence it first came and thinking it worthy to be presented to the Emperour for its rarity goes and offers it to him the Emperour at first admires it not knowing it to be the same Apple but at last calling it to Remembrance he thereupon conceives a Suspition and departing immediately goes to the Empress and presently asks her for the Apple She not knowing what had passed through simplicity and perhaps for Fear he might take it ill that she had given it away tells him she had eat it the Emperour asks her a second time to whom she answers the same thing and confirms it with an Oath Whereupon he being straightway in Wrath shews her the Apple and convinces her of a lie which confirming his Jealousie of a Criminal Love he put Paulinus to Death and Banished the Empress Behold the 〈…〉 ce of a lie and which might seem a Trivial thing yet which in an Instant counterpoised the Ballance of the Opinion of a Husband of the Merits Ver 〈…〉 and rare qualilities of his Princess wherewith she was so largely endow'd that thereby only from being a private Person before she was advanced to be the Wife of an Emperour And indeed this Virtue retain'd its Lusture to the last for being retire'd to Jerusalem as the History saith she liv'd and Dyed in Holy Orders This Example I have produced to shew the dismal Effects of double dealing let it appear never so Innocent to us Besides all that we have already said the Honest Wife will always be careful to express so much Compliance to her Husband that though she receive never so bad usage from him yet she will not loose nor lessen the respect she ows him There is nothing provokes this Passion so much as Obstinacy and disdain Which are commonly produced in Women from the conceipt they have of their Beauty or other External advantages and particularly the Passionate Love their Husbands express to them they look upon these Baits as Chains wherewith they may draw them wheresoever they Please and the more they perceive in their Husbands the Transports of Vehement Love the more they become Arrogant and Disdainful In the mean while they consider not that this Love as it is qualified is a Love sick Passion which by frequent Provocations they cause to degenerate into a Phrensie or Mortal Hatred Mariam the Wife of Herod of whom we spoke before may be Example and a Lesson for them she surpassed infinitely saith the Historian all the Women of that Age in Beauty in Majesty and in Virtuous Qualities which endowments were indeed the Cause of her Unhappiness for seeing the King her Husband so Passionately Enamoured of her she beleived no Danger of loosing his Affections and laid a side the respect She ought him But what followed The King Changed his Love into Rage and giving Ear to false Accusations of her Honour his Jealousie gave way to let this Innocent Princess be Condemned to Death as we said before Not much unlike to this was that of a Roman Hero who having put away his Wife all People were Astonished at it seeing she was so perfectly Beautiful and Lovely yet he having secluded her because of her Arrogancy and Stubborn Humours wherewith she wearied him uncesâ—antly gave no other Return or Reason but shewing them her Shoe said if you had put this on you would have felt where it hurt you An Honest and good Wife then must not presume upon either her Birth if perhaps it be above that of her Husbands or that she had the Fortune of a larger Portion or in her Beauty or any other Endowment whatsoever but must settle her Ambition on these things that do more intimately engage his Affections Which are her good conduct her Mildness her Compliance and her Obedience so that instead of being more and more conceited of her self and Stubborn as it is too Ordinary she may be more and more agreeable and Lovely in all her Actions And that she may succeed herein as we have said before she must bear all the Extravagancies of her Husbands Jealousie with Mildness and Humility recalling to mind that from the very day of their Nuptials it was imposd upon her for a Law by God to conform her self to the Humours of her Husband So it hehoves her to bear patiently all his rash and inconsiderate Demeanours which Patience will reward its self with Peace wherein she will rejoyce And indeed there is nothing so capable of disarming his Fury or to free him from that Evil Spirit possesses his Mind as Patience and Mildness
non possis Lact. Inst 11. cap. 123. c Des Cart. Tide pâ—ss Formal and violent Jealousie The remedy thereof The pernicious effects of Adultery Numb 5. 1. a Non admittet haec externum quemquam viro non jubente pertinescens ea imprimis quae vulgo de mulicrum corruptela per hiberi solent Ar. de cur rei â—am Eccles 42. 14. That domestick Peace is an unestemable good The Dangerous Effects of Lying a I Lips Mon. exposit lib. 1. The ba 〈…〉 Consequences of Pride Joseph lib. â—7 c. 11. a Plutar. conjug praec b Legem sibi ingenium mores viri sui latam divinitùs eo tempore quo nuptiae Juncta vitae sors consociata fuit Ar. de cur rei fam The advantagious consequences of Patience c Quod si aequo animo mores viri feret admodum facilis est domestica administratio sui minus per quam difficilis Arist ibid. d Si quid animo 〈…〉 moto vir â—gerit atque deliquerit ejus statem uxor oblivisâ—a 〈…〉 r aut in bonam partem interpraetatur imprudentiae neg 〈…〉 gentiaeque egritudini ad Scribendo c. Depusa nube 〈…〉 rturbationum vertutem ipsius vir clariùs perspiciet Ar. Ibid. In the last place to have recourse to God e For this kind are not cast out but by Prayer and Fasting Mat. 17. 20. The Jealousie of Women is more dangerous than that of Men. a Pectus Instruxit dolis sed vim negavit Senec. Octa. a Ecclesiast 25. 23 The abuse of the reason alledged for the Jealousie of Women Whether submission be reciprocal or not since the bands are equally indissoluble on both parts and the Sexes are equal as they say a Solitum Britannis foeminarum ductu bollare Tacit. in Agr. b In esse iis sanctum aliquid providum putarunt Tacit demor Germ. Nec Consilia earum aspernabantur nec Responsa negligebant Id. ibid. That Submission Regards only the Women a Epist 65. b Sunt quaedam peccata non humanae simpliciter naturae sed huic â—â—ne inevitabilia ob corporis concretionem in animum transeuntem Grot. de jur bel pac lib. 2. cap. 20. par â—â— Gen. 2. 18. a Simile sibi Vers Lat. quod sit penes eum Chald. Secundum eum Vers 70. Penes te est quod quodam modo à te possidet Uâ—pian b Propter quod unum quodque est tale illud ipsum est magis tale b Gen. 3. 16. English Translat Thy Desire shall be to thy Husband a Deut. 20. 14. b Puerum aetâ—s excuset faeminam Sexus Senec. de 〈◊〉 lib. 5 a Pierasqueâ—arum sati dâ—cas augesâ—enâ—e superstatione arbitrabantur Deas Tacit. 4. â— a Luke 20. 35. 36. a 1 Cor. 14. 34. b 1 Tim. 〈◊〉 11 12. a Ad Marc. c. â— a Senec. Epist 92. b Ex S. â—ug grat â—2 q. 6. 〈…〉 5. II. Whether the Power the Woman has over the Husbands Body make her equal with him also in all other things or not a 1 Cor. a Estius in Epist ad Cor. 1. c. 7. 4. III. Whether or no a Woman may be Jealous because Adultery is equally criminal on either part That it is not permitted her because she is his Inferiour a Nisi causâ fornicationis non licet Viro uxorem dimittere vel uxori à viro discedere Grat. q. 1. IV. Whether Jealousie be a crime to cause Divorse since the Scriptures have not expressed it nor spoke against it a Vitivera hoc pugâ—at cum ipsa natura conjugii Jansen Concord Evang. cap. 11. Reliquae causa sunt generales aquavis sooâ—â—tate Christianam liberantes Id. ibid * Note For this point See 1 Cor. 7. 12. Quer. Whether any other Cause besides Adultery be sufficient for Divorcing Man and Wife in the Reformed Churches yea even this of Vnbeleif or the fear of being Murdered Prov. 17. 1. Prov 〈◊〉 â—9 Prov. 27. 15. a Eccles 25. 27. b Eccles 26. 18. c Eccles 25. 17. d Eccles 26. 8. * The most of these Invectives are out of Apocrypha but though it were received as Scripture yet Jealousie will not be sufficient cause of Divorce with us V. Whether an honest Woman may be Jealous or not That the honesty of a Woman gives her no priviledg to be Jealous a Eccles 5. 34. b Id. c. 9. 2. d Vives de off mar a Omnem injuriae violentiae opinionem ab esse debet ab ea quae supplicis instar sit tanguam a foco deducta Arst decurrei fam Remedies against the Jealousie of Women The Woman must not in any case be Jealous and so she cuts off all occasion to the Husband Women must speâ—â— only with their good Actions a Potissimum atque efficacissimum aliquid est vitae exemplum si id taciat quis quod jubet Neque enim â—pertiùs â—â—t fortiùs â—ossunt vâ—â—uperari carpi â—ali quam â—onorum â—ità Viv. â—e off mar â—he must â—ave all â—ertues â—hat are â—posite to â—e vices of â—r Husâ—â—nd a Vxores oportet esse placidas mites erga domesticos neâ— ob strepentes maritis sed mores eorum aâ— vitia tolerantes qualis commendatur Abigail uxor Nabal Carmel Estius in Epist ad Tit. c. 2. â— The sincerity of the Heart Mildness in Discourse b Eccles c. 40. Submissive Love a Ipsa vicissim studebat sterilis conjugii solatium ex ancilla quaerere non dum enim talia tunâ— vetita erant Chry sost de Sara b Prov. c. 31 v. 1 c. a Compta ornata ista conjugum vita nihil differt a Tragaedorum â—n Scena ver santium ornatu Ar. de cur râ—i fam b Id. Ibid. c S. Aug. de bon conjug Charitableness of Women d Plut. coning praeâ— e In amicitia permanent si consuetudine vitae adhibita mores dilexerint cùm sint inter se moribus similes Ar. Nico. l. 8. c. 5. Morum dissimilitudo minimè est amoris efficiens Ar. de cur re fam f Erasm Colloq uxor Mempsigamos Sincere Vertue only procreates Love The certain effects of these Counsels a Prov. 11. 16. That Jealousie causes hatred instead of Love That it returns back upon themselves that are Jealous a Zelotypia ad quid valeat non video equidem nisi ut discrucieris animo te iis tormentis addicas mancipes quibus nulla possunt in hoc mundo comparari Viv. de off Mar. b Des Cart. Tr. de Pass Jealousie is Contagious And in the end causes Separation This Custom is not so usual here in England From whence comes reciprocal Jealousie The real love of a Husband An example of the real love of an Arabian a J. Lips Mon. Expol. l. 2. c. 17. Example of the Love of Joseph for the Virgin Mary b Mat. 1. 19. The Means for Women to preserve Peace Bad Education is a Cause of Divisions in Marriage The Abuse of making up Marriages 〈◊〉 an use * This is Customary at Paris and I wish it were not too common also in London Non est Virginalis pudoris Eligere maritum Ex Ambr Grat. caus 23. b This was the Punishment of Parricides in some places c Antiquam illi nuberes tempus erat expendâ—ndi quid viram habere maleâ—â—â— Oportâ—bâ—t non oculis soâ—â—â—â— verum etiam â—â—â—bus maritum deligeâ—e Erasm Colloq That Meekness in a Woman excels all other Qualities a Prov. 11. 22. The Woman must Conform her self to the Husband Examples of the Love of several Women a Camp Fulg. b J. Lips Mon. Expol. 1. 2. c. 17. c Id â—bid d Viv. de off Mar. Example of the Love of a Tartarian Woman a J. Lips Mon. Expol. 1. 2. c. 17. The Praise of an Honest Wife a Prov. 18. 22. Eccles 7. 21. b Eccles 25. 11. c Eccles 26. 2. d Eccles e Eccles 26. 16. Conclusion and Abridgment of the whole a Chryad Ephes c. 4.