Customs and Prejudices to the Infection of others It cannot reasonably be expected that Persons when they come abroad in the World should ordinarily prove better than their Education Whereas as one observes a Religious Family is on the contrary a diffusive Blessing like a Stock of Bees which sends forth Swarms and Honey into Neighbouring Parts Especially as the Members hereof come hereafter to have Families of their own Therefore to shut Religion out of Families or not promote it there is the means to thrust it out of the World This has been observed by the very Pagans as the proper way for a private Man to be a Publick Good and serviceable to the Welfare of his Country viz. by ordering things well at home with Wisdom and Care in his own House and Family And there is hardly any thing whereby so much Evil is done to the Publick as by the Carelesness of Parents in the Instruction of their Children and the Negligence or ill Examples of Masters with respect to their Servants Among some of the Heathens a Penalty has been laid upon the Parents when the Children were ill-conditioned and they might be sued in the Courts of Judicature if they neglected the Education of their Children And how much the Safety Pleasure and Comfort of our Lives depends upon the faithful Discharge of Relative Duties Experience will teach us What greater Comfort can a Parent or a Master have than to see the Success of his Endeavours for the Good of those under his Roof A natural Parent may say it as well as a spiritual one I have no greater Joy than to see my Children walking in the Truth It is said of Abraham Heb. 11.9 that he dwelt in Tents with Isaac and Jacob Heirs with him of the same Promise How comfortable is it when Father Son and Grandson are all Heirs of the same promised Salvation Especially if God bless your Endeavours towards it that they who come from your Loins may serve the Lord. There is a double Blessing where the Father is Godly and the Son so likewise To see them alive to God who were dead in Sin will revive the Heart of a Religious Parent as it did old Jacob's to know that his Son Joseph was alive To have Wife and Children bear the Image of God and our Servants to obey and serve and please their Heavenly Master and by our Faithfulness and Care and Diligence to be brought to know and love and worship and honour him and be accepted with him What an unspeakable Delight must this be when the Savour of Religion descends from the Head to all the Members of the Family as the precious Ointment poured on the Head of Aaron ran down to the Skirts of his Garments You then may and will love them with a higher kind of Love than bare natural Affection In short you will love your Husbands Wives and Children and holy Relations with another sort of Love than other Persons do theirs It is a more fervent more pure more faithful more comfortable Love which is superadded by Religion and results from their Love to God and Participation of his Image You love them as the Friends and Brethren of Christ as Heirs of the same Inheritance as begotten again to a Divine Life by the same Spirit as born of the same Immortal Seed of the Word as nourish'd by the same Spiritual Food as under the same Bond of the Covenant as of one Houshold of Faith as Souldiers under the same Colours and Banner of Christ as called to the same blessed Hope of the Gospel as Travellers to the same Heavenly Country and Coheirs of the same glorious everlasting Kingdom You cannot love your unsanctified Relations in this manner whatever Natural or Civil Bonds of Union there may be between you and them It will please you doubtless to see them thrive and prosper in the World whom you tenderly love but it must much more do so to see them faithful to God live to his Glory and ripen for Heaven Whether you live or die you may then comfortably resign them and trust them with God who loves them better than you and will be sure to take care of them With what Pleasure can you think of the Sin and Misery which they escape What Wickedness such a Child would else have committed on Earth and what Torments he must have endured in Hell if he had been wicked Their Love Honour and Obedience to you which the Grace of God will teach them will also add to your Joy in your Health and Sickness or old Age they will pray for you And if they die you can look forward to the everlasting Happiness of their Souls as well as your own and the hopes of meeting them with Comfort in the Day of Reckoning And what an Honour is it to any Family to have serious Godliness transmitted from Father to Son and from the Son to the Grand-Child To be able to say My God and my Father's God and my Grand-father's God 2 Tim. 1.5 as Pliny reports * Dr. Manton on Heb. 11. p. 551. it was counted a great Honour and Felicity that in one Family of the Fabii there were three Presidents of the Senate one after another and in one House of Curio's there were three Orators one after another Besides how Beautiful and Pleasant a Thing is a Religious Well-ordered Family How Comfortable is it to dwell in such an House Where God is Worshiped and his Laws observed and his Day sanctified his Word read his Authority owned and his Laws made the Rule Where it is an Honour and not a Reproach to eschew Evil and do Good God promises to bless the Habitations of the Just and how sweet will his Presence be unto such Whereas to live in a House where the Name of God is never used but in jest or scorn or prophane Oaths where the Inhabitants are as so many Brutes that live from day to day as if they had no Souls to save no World but this to mind and no Expectations beyond the Grave where Worldliness and Sensuality filthy Talk and Intemperance c. have infected Superiours and Inferiours Who would dwell in such a House There cannot generally be Peace and Union Love and Concord in such Mens Dwellings Family Jars Contentions and Sorrows are occasioned by Sin which Family Religion would do much to prevent and cure If Children are a Grief to their Parents and Thorns in their Eyes as a Wicked Son is the Calamity and Shame of his Father and Heaviness to his Mother they may thank themselves as of their own Planting if they did not with Love and Diligence with Wisdom and Faithfulness seek their Salvation If Servants neglect their Duty to you how can you wonder when you have neglected yours to them You must bear the Fruit of their Sin if you do not teach them the Principles of Religion which should make them better and teach them to keep a good Conscience by giving them your
go to Heaven without them Who will not hinder their Inferiours from serving God Whereas you have much to do of Positive Duty to * See Mr. Baxters's Saints Rest Part. 3. Chap. 14. Sect. 16. inform their Minds to furnish their Memories to rectify their Wills to quicken their Affections to keep tender their Consciences and restrain their Tongues and watch over their outward Carriage to make them hate Sin and love Holiness and prize the Bible and delight in the Ordinances and Institutions of Christ and like good Company and dislike all others c. And to what End hath God given you The Authority of Parents or Masters if not to prevent Sin and to promote Holiness in your Families Humane Nature is so corrupt that unless in some few with whom the Spirit of God begins very early and the Effects of Holy Baptism are discovered in Childhood there need to be great Restraints put upon it by those who have Power and Authority over Young People Your Authority must be kept up lest you should be despised by those that you should Rule Labour therefore to understand the Nature Use and Extent of that Authority with Relation to all in your Family And the more you grow in Knowledg and Holiness and walk according to the Gospel-Rule the better will you preserve your Authority among all your Inferiours Humility and Wisdom and circumspect Walking will enable you to do them the more good in the use of that Power which God has given you The Indulgence and Allowance of Children in what is sinful you know did highly provoke God in the case of Eli and how dear did it cost him That his Sons made themselves vile and he restrained them not â— Saâ— 3.13 You must not let Wickedness dwell in your Tabernacle Job 11.14 or in those of your Family They will observe your Orders and regard your Commands if you do not indiscreetly lose your Authority by not keeping your distance or suffering them to be too bold with you or on the other hand making them too strange so as to be fearful and discouraged I here speak especially of Children If what you resolve upon and order in commanding what is good or forbidding what is evil you see be punctually observed still managing all with Affection and Love and manifesting the Honour of God and the Interest of their Souls and Salvation to have been your greatest Motive And remember that Commendation when they do well is as needful as Reproof and Correction when they sinfully transgress which also ought to be without Partiality or the causeless cockering or countenancing of one above the rest The like may be said though with some difference with respect to Your Servants Be Just Compassionate and Loving to them but lose not your Authority as a Master Be Faithful and Affectionate in your Counseling of them for the good of their Souls But if they be refractory and stubborn and slight your Advice and go on in Sin and wax worse and worse and deride serious Godliness in their Fellow-Servants you must use other Methods or get rid of them as soon as you can You are to take care that Wickedness dwell not within your House without Admonishing and Reproving of it You must warn them who are anruly and of others have Compassion making a difference Some must be rebuked sharply others save with fear pulling them out of the Fire Jude 22 23 Verses As to those who have Trades and Families but God hath not blessed them with Children or hath taken them away by Death their Care and Labour and Trust is thereby lessened and they ought to be the more careful with respect to their Servants They have many Considerations to keep them from Repining or Sorrowing much for the want of Children upon the Account of the Duty the Pains the Care and Grief of Heart which they are freed from For in this dissolute Age how few Children answer the Hopes Desires and Pains of Parents Or prove Comforts to them when they grow up If God had given you Children or prolonged their Lives what a Life of Trouble and Sorrow might They probably have passed in this World besides the constant Fear you would have had of their Sin and Damnation which may be put in the Ballance against the Vncertain Comforts of those who have Children abstracting from that Consolation which arises from the faithful discharge of Duty to them More particularly it is advisable with Family Prayer to joyn Serious Reading of the Holy Seriptures every Day and frequent Catechizing or Instructing of Inferiours in the Principles of Religion Abraham had such Trained Catechized Servants in his House These things that I command thee says God to his Antient People shall be in thy Heart and thou shalt teach them diligently to thy Children Deut. 4.9 chap. 11.19 Teach a Child in the way he should go and when he is Old he will not depart from it Prov. 4.4 chap. 22.6 2 Tim. 1.3 Acquaint them by little and little with the great Doctrines of Christianity give them Line upon Line and Precept upon Precept as they are able to receive and bear it Acquaint them betimes with the Word and Works of God When you sit in the House or walk by the Way or lie down or rise up by asking them Questions and putting them upon asking you Abraham's Example is approved and recommended by God in this matter Gen. 18.19 For I know him that he will command his Children and his Houshold after him that they shall keep the way of the Lord. Never diel any Age afford better Helps for Catechizing than this there being so many excellent Catechisms or Summaries of Christian Religion already printed and easy to be had If any of you want a Method for Regular Catechizing in your Families as suppose upon a Lord's-day Evening or once a Week let me mention one which is practised by many with good Success in some Counties of this Nation viz. Let the Master of the Faly begin with a short Invocation of God praying for his Presence Assistance and Blessing and then ask the younger sort Three Questions out of the Assemblies Catechism and upon each of the three Answers ask the explicatory Questions in Mr. Joseph Allen's Catechism or Mr. Lye's so that by answering Yes or No you will perceive whether they understand the matter treated of After this read The fuller Explication of those Three Questions in some larger Catechism as that of Mr. Thomas Vincent and then close with a short Prayer and if you can Sing a Psalm All which may be done in an Hour and you will find it very profitable both for younger and elder People The reading of the Holy Scriptures frequently in your Families as well as in your Closets upon the Week-days as well as upon the Lord's-day I hope I need not use many Arguments to recommend Deut. 11.18 They are able to make us wise unto Salvation and they are suitable to every Case that you
contrary But the Welfare and the Comfort of religious Families depends not wholly on the Duty of the Heads of it They who are Children or Servants are obliged thankfully to improve the Blessing of Religious Parents and Masters and faithfully to do their Duty in each Relation Without a wonderful Change by the Grace of God you will never be good Parents to your own Children if you live to have any if you are not good in the Relation of Children The same may be said for Servants Nor are they like to be good Husbands or Wives who were not good in their former Relation as Children or Servants Neither are such who are not good in their Family-Relations like to be so in any other Either good Neighbours in a Town or good Members in a Church or Magistrates in the State Absalom a Rebellious Child proved a Traiterous Subject Hophni and Phineas disobedient Children proved scandalous and sacrilegious Priests so in other Instances Let Children honour and obey their Parents in the Lord See that there be inward Reverence Respect and Love Despise not their Persons slight not their Instructions Rebukes or lawful Commands or Government Take heed of speaking contemptuously of either of them He that curseth Father or Mother let him die the Death Levit. 20.9 His Lamp shall be put out in Darkness Prov. 20.20 You should prize their Counsels delight in their Presence rejoyce in their Company sympathize with them in their Sorrows or Joys and readily deny your selves for their Sakes The Expressions of outward Honour from Children to Parents by the Dissoluteness of the Age are almost out of Fashion Such as rising up and standing bare before them which is required of the Younger unto such as are their Fathers only by Age Lev. 19.31 to bow before them and desire their Blessing or Prayers to speak alway with respect to them and of them c. The Honour that consists in Obedience may be expressed many ways as by being content to obey their lawful Orders though in the meannest Services to be content to have their own Wills crossed that the Will of their Parents may be fulfilled by not marrying without their Knowledge and Consent and by submitting to their just Reproofs Rebukes and Corrections and obeying them especially in the things of God and for the good of their Souls There is an Honour due to Parents which consists in Thankfulness and Recompence Readily serving them and supplying their outward Wants comforting them in their Sorrows Sufferings Sickness Old-Age being sollicitous for their Safety and Welfare concern'd for their Reputation and Good-Name praying daily for them and plentifully freely and honourably providing for them according to your Ability and their Need. As Joseph did when advanc'd in the Court of Pharaoh This is not Justice only but Piety Let them learn to show Piety at home and requite their Parents 1 Tim. 5.4 And our Lord reproves the Seribes and Pharisees who by their corrupt Doctrines would dispense with Children from such an Obligation Mat. 15.5 6. Such Children then who are a Grief to their Parents or purloin their Goods or waste their Estates or do not to their utmost minister to the Supply of their Wants do so far fail of their Duty The Children of Religious Parents are especially bound to pay them Honour and so to walk as to reflect Honour on them imitating their good Examples thanking God for his special Mercies to their Parents while they lived doing what they can to honour them at their Death pleading with God the Covenant-Relation of their Parents to obtain a Blessing on themselves as their Off-spring and faithfully adhering to the Truth Worship and Ways of God as their Holy Parents did before them This Honour is due to Parents whether they be Rich or Poor Wise or Weak whether in an honourable Station in the World or in meaner Circumstances whether in vigorous Health or bowed down under Sickness and the Insirmities of Old-Age Remember still they are your Parents It is a Mercy you ought to be very thankful for to have Religious Parents and live in a Religious Family It is a Prize in your Hands you must give an Account of And a sad Account it will be if you remain ignorant of God and Rebels against Christ under those Advantages to know and obey him which others want How unthankful are you if you value it not as a Privilege What work for the Worm of Conscience do you provide if you improve it not You might have been born of such Parents as would have wholly neglected the Salvation of your Souls or you might have been cast into some Atheistical Families where God is not worshiped from Week to Week Few are sensible enough of the Obligation they are under to God by being related as Husband or Wife as a Child or a Servant to such as truly fear God I would here call such Children to Repentance who have neglected and failed in their Duty to Parents Let grown Persons reflect on their Childhood and Youth when they lived with their Parents and since Have you not been Stubborn and Rebellious Irreverent and disrespectful in your Carriage to one or both of them Have you not secretly despised them in your Hearts or openly published their Infirmities Have you not often disobeyed their lawful Commands or slighted their wholsom Admonitions Have you not denyed or been backward to Assist and Comfort them Have you not secretly coveted their Estates before their Death or desired that it might be quickly Did you honour them inwardly with a good Conscience from the Love of God and the sense of his Authority Let us call our selves to an account and renew our Repentance before God for such Sins that his Pardoning Grace may prevent his Threatned Wrath. And let us take heed to live hereafter as the Children of such of whom God was not ashamed to be called their God Remember the Advantages of your being thus related to Holy Parents for Temporal Blessings Ishmael Solomon Rehoboam and others are Instances of the kindness of God to Children upon the account of their Fathers But you stand fairest for Spiritual and Eternal Blessings you are Children of the Covenant and Members of the Visible Church of Christ the Blessing of Abraham I will be thy God which reached unto his Seed being now come upon us Gentiles Gal. 3.14 You have many Helps to serious Godliness which others have not You have many Hindrances removed which make it more difficult for others who descend from wicked Parents and live in Ignorant Irreligious Families You have more Knowledg of God and Christ of Sin and Duty And usually the Spirit of Grace begins more early with such Children and follows them with more Calls Offers Invitations Strivings Convictions and leaves them not till they are Profligate Desperate and Resolved in Wickedness whereof Ishmael a Scoffer Esau a Profane Person and the Jewish Nation who filled up the measure of their Iniquity by Rejecting and
Murdering the Lord of Glory are eminent Examples Remember your Relation and think what God and all the World expects from you There is a great Privilege belonging by Gospel-grant to the Children of Holy Covenanted Parents if they do not forfeit it by forsaking and practically disavowing their Fathers God If you will own him he will be Your God as well as Theirs He hath an early preventive Interest in you upon which you may lay your Claim to him as Your God if you will devote your selves to him and stand to his Covenant To be ungodly Children of Holy Parents is the greatest Unworthiness that can be Be astonished O ye Heavens at this Jer. 2.12 That any Persons or People should cast off their God Thine own Friend and thy Father's Friend forsake not saith Solomon much less thy Father's God How reproachful will be your Wickedness if you are not better than others If you who are the Children of the Covenant become the Children of the Devil by doing his Works Shall there be a scoffing Ishmael come out of Abraham's House or a profane Esau from Isaac's Family a rebellious Absalom or a filthy Amnon be found in the Family of the Holy David God forbid that any of you should find or force the way to Hell out of such Houses where God is daily worshiped Certainly a Wicked Child of Religious Parents is one of the most miserable Spectacles in the World He is within the Visible Family of God devoted to him made acquainted with his Duty and can have no excuse for his Sin What Aggravatious hath such a one's Guilt They must have stifled more Convictions and resisted more Grace than others And how sure and severe will be their Condemnation when all the Prayers and Pains of Holy Parents shall witness against them and God account such Children as the Children of the Ethiopian or Arabian And have you no Concern for or Love to your Parents Consider how wicked Children embitter all the Comforts of their good Parents A Father of a Fool saith the Wise Man bath no joy Prov. 17.21 While Parents are in bitterness for a dissolute Child they cannot have that Joy and Comfort in one another which otherwise they might nor in the other Children who are more hopeful The whole Family is Afflicted and Disturbed The Grace of God by which they overcome their own Corruptions gives them not so much Comfort as otherwise when they see the Sin they have mortified and forsaken break out and reign in any of their Children Nor can they rejoyce in God and Jesus Christ as otherwise when according to the Word of God they hope and believe he is their Friend and Father and by the same Word know he is an Enemy to this or the other Son or Daughter and that the Wrath of God abideth on them And that if they get to Heaven themselves such of their Children are not like to follow them there Lastly Let Children and Servants take heed of their Carriage towards One another Let them indeavour Concord and Union and Love and avoid Contention and Falling out and the using of provoking exasperating Language to one another Let them help one another as they can in Health and Sickness and take each others Concernment as their own Let them watch over one another as to the Sins and Temptations they are most in danger of Let them beware of vain unprofitable Discourse and Idleness and most carefully put away all filthy corrupt Communication whereby they may poison the Souls of one another Let them tenderly bear with one anothers Failings and prudently conceal one anothers Faults where the Concealment of them tends not to the Wrong of the Parent or Master or of any other and where the opening of them will but stir up Strife This would also help to promote Family Religion I desire and pray that these plain hasty Thoughts may be serviceable to that purpose With that Hope I commend them to the Divine Blessing and you to his Grace and Providence Let us unite in the Resolution that whatever others do we with our House will serve the Lord and worship the God of our Fathers and in that way and manner as to Our Families wherein we have besides their Example so much other Encouragement from the Holy Scriptures and Reason and the Practice of the best Men. I am with Respect and Sincerity Sir Yours J. S. APPENDIX CONTAINING Rules of good Advice FOR OUR Christian Civil Carriage Mostly from Bishop HALL's Epistles LET us begin with Him who is the First and the Last Inform your self aright concerning God without whom in vain do we know all things Be acquainted with your Redeemer who paid the price of your Redemption on Earth and now intercedes in Heaven without whom we have nothing to do with God or he with us Adore him in your Thoughts Love him with all your Heart and Trust him with your Souls Renew your sight of him every day and his of you Call your selves to often Reckonings cast up your Debts Payments Graces Wants Expences Employments Think not your set Devotions troublesome yield not to such a Thought take not easy Denials of your self and beware of Self-flattery Think all God's outward Favours and Provisions the best for you your own Ability and Actions the meanest Suffer not your Mind to be a Drudge or Wanton Exercise it ever but overcharge it not Every Day take a View of your last as what may prove so In all your Business look through the World to God whatsoever is your Level let him be your Scope Offer not your self either to Honour or Labour let both seek you So frame your self to the Time and Company that you may neither serve it nor sullenly neglect it and yield so far as that you may not betray your Conscience or countenance Evil. Let your Words be few and digested It is a shame for the Tongue to cry the Heart Mercy much more to cast it self on the uncertain pardon of other men's Ears There are but two things which a Christian is charged to buy and not to sell Time and Truth both so precious that we must purchase them at any rate So use your Friends as those which should be Perpetual may be Changeable While you are within your self there is no danger but Thoughts once uttered must stand to Hazard Do not hear from your self what you would be loth to hear from others Give the Eye and Ear full scope in what is good for they let Knowledg into the Mind but restrain the Tongue few Men have repented them of silence In all serious Matters take Counsel of Days and Nights and Friends and let Leasure ripen your Purposes never hope to gain ought by suddenness The first Thoughts may be confident the second are wiser Serve Truth and Honesty ever though without apparent Wages the Recompence is sure if slow As in Apparel so in Actions consider not so much what is good as what becomes you Excuse not your own Evil agravate not that of others and if you love Peace avoid Censures Comparisons and Contradictions and Evil Speaking Out of good Men choose Acquaintance of Acquaintance Friends of Friends Familiars after Trial admit them and after Admittance change them not Do not alway your Best it is neither wise nor safe for a Man ever to stand on the top of his Strength Be ever below your self if you would be above the Expectation of others Expend according to your Purse not after your Mind or the Example of Neighbours Rather smother your Griefs and Wants as you may than be either Querulous or Importunate Frequent Suits or Complaints are wearisom to a Friend Let not your Face belie your Heart nor alway tell tales out of it In all your Reckonings for the World cast up some Crosses that appear not either they will come or may Let your Suspicions be Charitable your Trust fearful your Censures sure Give way to the Anger of Great Men against whom you have no Fence patiently bear the Inconveniencies you cannot mend and make the best of what must be If the World smile upon you with double care look to your Soul for there is more danger in Good than Evil. FINIS BOOKS Printed for John Lawrence at the Angel in the Poultrey SOme Account of the Holy Life and Death of Mr. Henry Gearing Who died January the 4th 1693 4. Aged 61. With the Trial and Character of a Real Christian collected out of his Papers for the Examination of himself From which several other Particulars are added for the Instruction Encouragement and Imitation of Christians By Mr. John Shower 12o. A Discourse of Tempting Christ By Mr. John Shower 12o. Mr. Slater's Sermon on the Funeral of Mr. John Reynolds Minister 4o. His Sermon on the Funeral of Mr. Richard Fincher 4o. On the Thanksgiving Day Oct. 27. 1692. 4o. Mr. Giles Firmin's Answer to Mr. Rich. Davis 4o. A Sermon Preached before the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of London January the 30th 1693 4. By W. Stephens B.D. Rector of Sutton in Surrey 4o. Mr. Hammonds Sermon on Mr. Steels Funeral 8o. Miscellanea Sacra Containing Scriptural Meditations Divine Breathings Occasional Reflections and Sacred Poems 12º Aickins English Grammar or the English Tongue reduced to Grammatical Rules 8º There will be shortly Published Mr. Slaters Discourse of Family Religion in 18 Sermons 8º Mr. Hammonds Discourse of Family Religion Written and Published at the request of the United Ministers of London 10º A Discourse of the Right of the Children of Believers in the Covenant against Mr. Hercules Collins By Mr. Mence of Wapping 12º