Infancy and in the days of their Youth when they were not so capable themselves to reflect thereupon it would have a great force upon Ingenuous minds to stir in them Pious and Religious Dispositions It would likewise very much serve this end if Parents would often reflect on God's kind Providences to selves and now and then talk of them to their Children and acquaint them sometimes with one Instance of God's care and kindness towards them and sometimes with another this would insensibly make an Impression on tender minds and in due time might bring forth good Fruits Shew your Children therefore How God was pleased to provide for you when you were in great necessity and want How he raised up Friends to help you in the day of your Distress How he preserved you from Danger How he delivered you out of many and great Afflictions and Troubles How he comforted you in the days of your mourning How he raised you up when you were brought very low How he defeated the designs of your malicious Adversaries How he disposed a great many uneasie and afflictive things sometimes for your Temporal and always for your Spiritual Advantage How he assisted and seconded your endeavours to serve him with great and unexpected Success How he rewarded and blessed you when you did those things which were good and right before him And how he punished and chastened you when you omitted your Duty or did and said a bad and wicked thing How he heard your Prayers and Granted you the desires of your Souls How he prevented you with his loving Kindness and tender Mercy How he satisfied your longing Souls with good things And how he deals with you exceeding abundantly above all that you could think or ask In this manner according as you have met with particular Instances of the good and kind Providence of God you ought at some times when you find it most likely to do good to talk thereof to your Children that thereby they may be awakened to observe and consider the Powerful Just Wise and Kind Providence of God and may be excited together with you to bless his Holy Name for his great his marvellous and undeserved Love towards you You ought also to discourse sometimes to them concerning some of the most Signal Instances of Divine Providence towards others which either you have observed your selves or which you have received an account of from Persons of very good Authority For Example Shew them how God has brought down proud and lofty Persons when their Hearts were lifted up How he covered them with Shame and Reproach and made them Loathsome Vile and Contemptible almost to every body And how he raised up humble and lowly Persons How he followed them with the Expressions of his Mercy and Love How he turned Peoples Hearts towards them inclining them to love and honour them and to do them many good and kind Offices This will tend to teach your Children Humility and to restrain them from Pride and Self-conceit Tell them what has befallen many Passionate and Impatient Men How they have run into the Pit of Destruction when they gave up themselves to to the Conduct of their own violent and unruly Passions And how the meek and patient Ones have been directed assisted and preserved by the good Providence of God And how they have enjoyed a great deal of Peace Joy and Happiness amidst the many Afflictions and Troubles they met with in the World This will tend to teach them to be meek to restrain their Passion and to beware of Impatience Tell them How God has punished those who have got Wealth and Riches by false unjust and indirect means How he has cursed their Estates and sent a moth into them which has in a short time insensibly wasted and consumed them And how he hath blessed the Estate and Substance of those who have got their Wealth by honest and lawful means This will tend to make them honest and sincere in their dealings in the World and to hate false and crooked ways Tell them how God has punished Cursers and Vain and False Swearers how the Curse has followed them how often it has happened to such Persons according to their mad and horrid Imprecations Tell them how God by very unexpected and surprising ways and means has discovered and cut off Traitors Murtherers Adulterers Thieves and Robbers False Witnesses c. Tell them how he has appeared sooner or later in behalf of his Servants and Children How he has wonderfully defended and preserved sincere and upright Men How he has avenged Innocent Blood How he has defended the Widow and Fatherless How he has heard the cry of the Stranger of the Desolate and Oppressed c. Such things as these being seasoâ—â—bly and frequently suggested to Children may at some time or other work upon their minds and cause thee to take notice of the Power Wisdom Mercy and Justice of God which they cannot do in good earnest but thâ—â— must needs be thereby stirred up to fear him to love him to obey him and to walk in his ways And tho' these things do not produce their effect at the very time when they are told yet some time or other they may catch hold of the minds of your Children and have a very powerful and lasting Influence upon them The Example of Faithful Abraham ought to excite you to do these things For this end did God acquaint him with what he intended to do to Sodom because he knew that he would improve all his Providences that he would not smother them in his own Breast but acquaint his Children and Family therewith that thereby they also might learn to be wiser and better that they might see the terribleness of the Divine Justice against Incorrigible Sinners and his Infinite Compassion towards those who fear and love him that they might know the Power and Efficacy of Prayer and see how ready the Lord is to hear all those who call upon him in earnest not only for themselves but also in behalf of others And the Lord said Gen. 18. 17. Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do and v. 19. For I know him that he will command or instruct as the word is used sometimes his Children and his Houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do Justice and Judgment c. Suitably to this Example we find a general Command given to the Jews Deut. 4. 9 10. Take heed to thy self and keep thy Soul diligently lest thou forget the things which thine Eyes have seen and left they depart from thine heart all the days of thy Life but teach them thy Sons and thy Sons Sons Especially the day that thou stoodest before the Lord thy God in Horeb c. To the same purpose we find a Direction given them touching the Passover Ex. 13. 8. Thou shalt shew thy Son in that day saying This is done because of that which the Lord did unto me
End confessed and acknowledged before their Death that their slighting and profaneing this Day made way for all those Villanies and Impieties which at last brought God's heavy Judgments upon them That your Children may attend the publick devotions of the Church and the preaching of the Gospel with greater profit and advantage 't is necessary that you endeavour to possess them with a great regard for those whom God employs in so Holy a Service that they may esteem them very highly in Love for their Works sake 1 Thes. 5. 13. When the Persons employed in Divine Ministraitons are loved and esteemed their Doctrine is apt to make the greater Impression and to be the more successful Whereas if People are prejudic'd against them tho' never so unjustly what they say will be slighted or very little regarded for most part even tho' what is spoken be most excellent in it self and expressed in such a manner as might otherwise very much affect and excite the dullest Hearers The Truth of this did not only appear in the Holy Prophets but in our most Blessed Master Himself who tho' He spake as never Man spake yet what He said was but very little regarded by most part of the Jews and ev'n by his own Brethren and Kinsmen who were possess'd with most unjust and groundless prejudices against him The Consideration of this ought to make you Careful to beget in your Children a due Sense of the Dignity and Excellency of the Pastoral Office and likewise a just value for the Persons themselves whom God makes use of to Minister unto Him in Holy Things whom He calls to be the Guides of Souls and Stewards of the Mysteries of God If Men have a great Respect for Ministers of State and for the Ambassadors of Earthly Princes who are employ'd to manage the Concerns of the Kingdoms or Principalities of this World shall they account the Ministers and Ambassadors of Jesus Christ unworthy of the least regard and esteem Whom the King of Kings and Lord of Lords hath chosen out of the rest of Mankind and whom He hath set apart for His own immediate Service to publish His Will and to offer Life and Salvation to the Sons of Men to rescue them from their evil Courses to direct them what they must do to be saved and to shew them not only by their Doctrine but Example the way wherein they ought to go And tho' some of those who are of this sacred Employment are far from being what they should yet you must be careful what you say concerning them before your Children you ought to keep from their Knowledge such faults and blemishes as are not obvious and notorious Beware of taking occasion of reproaching them and thinking meanly of them for their Infirmities And when their miscarriages are very heinous and such as cannot be concealed you ought to take care not to aggravate them or make them worse but to speak of them so as your Children may see you are only Enemies to their Vices and not to their Persons or Holy Office That you may fortifie your Children against the danger they are in from such sad Examples shew them that our Holy Religion is not the worse because some of those who are Ministers do not live suitably to their Calling and Profession that it is Men the best of whom are Imperfect and Sinful and subject to the like Passions with others and not Angels who are put by God in the Office of the Ministry That amongst the twelve Apostles of our Blessed Master and Saviour one of them was a Thief and a Traitor that the Holy Doctrine which such Persons Preach is not in it self the less excellent and worthy of acceptation because it is delivered by those who do not live as they Preach that there were many such Teachers in the days of our Saviour and yet he for had not the Jews to hear them only he gave them a caution to beware of their ill Example The Scribes and Pharisees says he Mat. 23. 2 3. sit in Moses Seat and therefore whatever they bid you observe that observe and do but do not ye after their Works for they say and do not I thought it so much the more necessary to suggest this Direction because 't is none of the least Sins of this Age and Kingdom that too many are very apt to despise and speak ill of the Ministers of Jesus Christ to listen to all Reports which are to their disadvantage to believe them too readily and to repeat them in all Companies and even before their Children with a great deal of pleasure And there want not those who have a very fruitful Invention on this Subject who contrive a great many Stories to bespatter them and to lessen and destroy their Reputation whereby they too successfully promote the Kingdom of Satan and shew themselves to be his Ministers When once the great Enemy of Souls has gain'd this point to make the Persons of Ministers contemptible 't will be no hard matter for him to make Men undervalue and despise the very Office it self And what can be the consequence of this but the rise and growth of Heresies of Factions and Schisms of Atheism and Irreligion and of all that can be thought of that is any way dishonourable to God and destructive to the Souls of Men Of all which there are but too many sad Instances at this day which are a most certain Evidence of the great decay of real Piety and Christiâ—nity and that there is but very little of true Religion to be found amongst us And as this so common Contempt of the Clergy is a sign of the great Wickedness of the Age so it is a Presage of heavy Judgments When the Messengers of God were mocked and his words despised and his Prophets abused the Wrath of the Lord arose against his People till there was no Remedy 2 Chron. 36. 16. 7. Duty to make them understand their Baptismal Covenant Seventhly Do all that you can to make them understand their Baptismal Covenant and if there be opportunity to own and renew it publickly and solemnly fail not to encourage their doing it It 's of great Importance for them to make a Solemn Profession of their Faith and to declare their Resolution of performing their Baptismal Promise It is of great advantage to them at such an occasion to have the Prayers of the Church and particularly of those who are appointed of God to bless the People It is true the great abuses which have been committed in the performance of this Ancient Ceremony have made many People to slight and neglect it but 〈◊〉 Confirmation were performed with that care and seriousness which ought to be used on such an occasion it is a Custom which might be of marvellous benefit in the Church both to stir up Parents to instruct their Children and Ministers to Chatechise them and acquaint them with those things that are needful for them to know to believe
101. 6 7. Mine Eyes shall be upon the Faithful of the Land that they may dwell with me He that walketh in a perfect way he shall serve me He that worketh Deceit shall not dwell within my House He that telleth Lies shall not tarry in my sight 'T will not be unfit in this place to mention what a Famous Author reports of the Ancient Romans 'T was their custom to make choice of an Elderly Kinswoman of whose Probity and Discretion they had good assurance to whom they committed the Charge of the Children Her business was to keep them from hearing and seeing whatever tended to corrupt their Manners to direct them in such little Studies and Exercises as were proper to their Years and to see that their Recreations and Divertisements were harmless and innocent and that they were used and managed modestly and inoffensively This course Cornelia took says this Author with her Sons the Gracchi Aurelia with her Son Caesar and Artia with her Son Augustus The Fruit and Effect of which Method was this The Spirits of the Children being kept pure and sincere straight and upright they were thereby made the more capable to receive Noble and Excellent Impressions which way soever they applied their minds whether to Military Arts to the knowledge of the Laws or the Study of Eloquence But now says he speaking of the Age in which he lived Children are entrusted to the care of a Grecian Girl and to one or other of the Servants of most base and servile Qualities by whose words and actions they are quite spoiled and utterly ruined Neither are there any in the Family who make account what they say or do before them And no wonder says he for the Parents themselves are so far from training them up to Modesty and Probity that they accustom them to Wantonness and extravagant Liberty by which means they grow Impudent and Impetuous in the pursuit of their wild and foolish Humours and Inclinations As this Rule of chusing good company for Children is necessary to be followed at all times so especially when Parents send their Children into Foreign Countries when they are fit to Travel how careful should they be not to trust them to every body But to the Conduct of those who not only may be useful to advance them in the Knowledge of the World to assist them in their Journeyings to take care about their Lodging and Diet to wait on them to visit great Men to see fine Places curious Fabricks Famous Monuments and Ancient Inscriptions to learn the Language of the Country and the different Modes and Fashions the Government and Policy and such like But who likewise through the Blessing of God on their Endeavours may preserve them from the Vices of those Countries where they Travel from those bad Customs to which they have a great Inclination Who may make it their business to season their Minds with deeper and more lively impressions of Virtue to possess them with a mighty regard for such excellent Examples as they have occasion now and then to see to Fortifie them against the many wicked and dangerous Opinions and Practices they meet with to acquaint them chiefly with the wisest and best Men by whose Conversation they may be improved in Wisdom and Virtue that they may return into their own Country with their Minds furnished with useful Notions with solid Principles and wise Observations that they may be able either in a more private way or in a publick capacity to do somewhat not unworthy of those who have had such good occasions for improving themselves in those things which are excellent To serve this design Parents are to be careful of two things One is That their Children Travel under the Conduct of a Person who is wise and prudent and is of a sincere and solid Piety If he be one that is either Foolish or Prophane and Atheistical his Company must needs be very hurtful and dangerous It may utterly 〈◊〉 the young Persons who are intrusted to him tho' they have very good â—â—clinations and have been happy in a Religious Education We see that a straight Twig tied to that which is crooked and stronger than it self grows crooked also What an unaccountable thing is it to think that Men who are careful to have a skilful Groom to look to their Horses should be so mad as to venture their Children who are their chiefest Possession and the principal Objects of their care and kindness into the hands of those who have little discretion and less Piety The Second thing that Parents ought to be careful of in this matter is That their Children do not Travel till they are come to somewhat of stayedness and solidity of Judgment till their Understanding and Discretion is such as may give ground to hope that their Travelling shall do them no hurt but good It is none of the wisest parts in some Parents to send their Children too soon into Foreign Countries before their Judgment is prepared and made fit to make useful Reflections and Observations on the World before their minds are possessed with solid Principles of Virtue and with a deep sense of Religion so as not to be in great danger from the temptations which they are sure to meet with in most places Before they know any thing at home it is too soon to send them abroad Before they know themselves a little it is not advisable to send them into the wide World to know a vast multitude of other things Hence it too often comes to pass that a great many return after their Travels greater Fools than they went they bring back nothing but a load 〈◊〉 the Vices and Vanities of other Countries Thirdly Let not over-great fondness blind your Eyes so as not to see the Faults of your Children nor cause you to stop your Ears against just complaints It 's true there are some wicked People who love to sow Discord to kindle strife and contention to divide the nearest Relations But all aâ—â— not so very wicked you cannot buâ— know some who love you and your Children sincerely and when such Persons tell you of their Faults you ought to do the part of those who are wise as well as kind Parents that iâ— you ought to do all you can to reform their Faults and make them better and withal you ought to be heartilâ— thankful to those who do not flatter you and your Children to the hurt botâ— of you and them In order to their Reformation try first all gentle Methods to make them better Endeavour to conquer them with the Weapons of Kindness and Affection endeavour by Instructions and Admonitions to make them sensible of their Faults Use Promises and Encouragements to allure them to do what they ought if these gentler Methods do not succeed 't is fit to use Reproof to rebuke them sharply Reproofs of Instruction saith Solomon Prov. 6. 23. are the way of Life When Threatnings are necessary make
consider that they are to be employed in the greatest the most painful and most dangerous work in the World and therefore 3 dly They ought to do all that in them lies to fit and prepare such Children that they may undertake this Sacred Employment as they ought to do More than ordinary care is to be taken that their minds be furnished with good Impressions that they be inspired with a great Love to God and with a mighty Zeal for his Honour and Glory They must be daily trained up in the Practice of Humility of Meekness of Patience of Temperance of Charity and of all other Virtues and Graces they must be kept from seeing and hearing bad things so far as may be their minds must be strongly fortified against Temptations and all that is possible must be done to keep them from the danger that comes from evil Company and corrupt Example They must be entrusted to the good Conduct of Excellent and Worthy Persons by whose means they may be formed to as high a sense of true Piety as may be that so when they come abroad into the World their light may shine before others If Parents who dedicate their Children to the Holy Ministry would in this manner endeavour to act the part of Men who have a lively sense of God upon their Souls who are possessed with a mighty Zeal for his Glory and are earnestly desirous to promote the Kingdom of Jesus Christ we might hope to see very speedily the Blessed Effects of their Pious Endeavours Religion would flourish more than it does at this day and Impiety and Irreligion would not so much Triumph as alas they do Secondly When they are fit for Marriage Parents are so to dispose of them as that in all likelyhood they may be happy in such a state of Life They are not to constrain then to marry against their Will for such Marriages are seldom Happy they end too often in somewhat or other very Tragical and Calamitous to one or t'other Party if not to both Great care is to be taken that there be not too great inequality of outward state and condition for that occasions often neglect and contempt of the Person that is Inferiour to the other in some External Advantages Nor yet too great Inequality of Years for that doth likewise sooner or later cause an Abatement and Decay and sometimes an utter Extinction of that Respect and Love which is necessary to make those who are Married Happy Parents are not in disposing of their Children in Marriage to govern themselves wholly by their respect to Riches and Honour but are to have a regard to Virtue and Goodness so far as to prefer one who is Discreet and Wise of a Virtuous and good Disposition to another that is foolish or indiscreet and Prophane and Atheistical tho' attended with greater degrees of Wealth and Earthly Honour 'T is reported of Themistocles a Famous Athenian Captain that when several young Men came iâ— Suit of his Daughter he preferred one who was a Wise and Virtuous Person to another that was very Rich. When some People wondered at this choice he told them he had rather have a Man without Money than Money without a Man What a great reproach is it to our Religion to think that so many Parents in disposing of their Children only consider how much Wealth they may have and what Friends and Alliances they may make by marrying into such a Family or what Profits and Preferments may be expected thereby As for any other thing they do not much trouble their heads about it They know no other Happiness but in the things of this life and therefore they seek nothing else for their Children but to make them Great and Wealthy by which means it often comes to pass that they bring their Children into a most miserable and unhappy state of life in which they must pine away their days in Sorrow and Grief in the company of Foolish and Wicked Wretches who are often in a fury and rage who spend their time in Gaming and Drinking in Cursing and Swearing in Quarrelling and Fighting in Whoring and Ranting and such like woful doings which cannot but prove to those who have any the least degree of real goodness so very uneasie and afflictive that Wealth and Riches can make no amends for them Such unfortunate Persons cannot but often envy the happiness of those who are in a very poor and low Estate and Condition but yet live in Peace and Quietness in Love and Concord and in the fear of Cod and so enjoy real satisfaction and contentment and have a great deal of Comfort to sweeten their outward Wants and Necessities For as the Wise Man says Prov. 15. 16 17. Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great Treasure and Trouble therewith Better is a Dinner of Herbs where Love is than a stalled Ox and Hatred therewith But besides all this it too often falls out that they who are given in Marriage to Vicious and Profligate Persons are sooner or later involved in those Judgments which are caused by the Sins and Follies of the Persons to whom they are matched 'T is true such Persons have a great deal to support their Spirits if they have not been Partakers with them in their works of Darkness In this case there is no doubt but their Merciful and Gracious God will order what they suffer for their good But alas it too often comes to pass that they who are unequally yoked either with Persons of a false Religion or of a Wicked Life do by degrees degenerate from their strict and Virtuous Education Tho' formerly they seemed to have a right sense of Religion and a great Inclination to the best things yet sooner or later by the Example and Perswasions of their Irreligious and Atheistical Relatives they lose all sense of God and give up themselves to all manner of Wickedness 'T is said of Jehoram who was Educated under a Religious Father Jehosaphat 2 Chron. 21. 6. That he walked in the way of the Kings of Israel like as did the House of Ahab for he had the Daughter of Ahab to Wife c. Where 't is very observable that this unequal Marriage of Jehoram is noted as the cause of his great Wickedness And from the following Verses it appears how many heavy Judgments fell upon him for his Impiety To what hath been said may be added that the hurt and inconvenience attending such Marriages does not only affect the Married Persons themselves but likewise extends to their Off-spring and Posterity who are in great danger of being corrupted as to their Religion and Manners by the Influence and Example of their Parents 'T is observed as one principal cause of the Wickedness of Rehoboam 1 Kings 14. 21. That his Mother was an Ammonitess which is repeated v. 31. to shew us that 't is a matter which deserves to be taken notice of To the same purpose 't
Life Lord be Gracious to all Mankind pity those who are in a State of Ignorance and Barbarity and send the glad tidings of Salvation to them Grant that they who have this Blessed Light of the Gospel may walk honestly as in the Day that others seeing their good Works may glorifie thee our Heavenly Father Lord cleanse thy Church from the many and great Sins which abound in her Let every one that nameth the Name of Christ depart from Iniquity Have Mercy on these Sinful Lands Give Repentance to all sorts of Persons amongst us that all of us may search and try our ways and turn again to thee Lord turn us that we may be turned and draw us that we may run after thee and follow thee fully Be Gracious to our King and Queen direct and prosper them in all their good Designs make them the happy Instruments of promoting Religion amongst us Bless the rest of the Royal Family Guide ouâ— Judges and Magistrates Grant that they may Execute Justice without Respect of Persons Sanctifie and assist all thy Ministers make them Diligent and Faithful grant that their Endeavours for the good of Souls may be attended with great Success Raise up many Faithful Pastors to feed thy Flock with Wisdom and Vnderstanding Shew thy Pity upon all who are any ways afflicted or distressed in Mind Body or Estate Sanctifie their Afflictions unto them give them Patience under them and a Happy Issue out of them Let thy Blessing be upon this Family let no harm come near our Dwelling this Night or at any time Lord bless our Children take them into thy Gracious Protection give them a Heart to Fear and Love thee cause them to Remember thee their Creator in the days of their Youth possess them with a deep sense of thy Infinite Power Wisdom Faithfulness and Love that they may walk before thee in Holiness and Righteousness all their Days Be thou their God and Guide and Portion for ever Bless all others for whom we are obliged to pray to thee bless them and us in our Souls and Bodies and in all our Interests and Concerns Blessed be thy Name for bringing us safely through the past Day for preserving us from a great many Dangers and for bestowing upon us innumerable Mercies Preserve in us an Affectionate and Grateful Remembrance of all thy undeserved kindness to us Lord watch over us this Night refresh us with comfortable Rest and Sleep defend us from all the Powers of Darkness save us from all vain and sinful thoughts from all sad accidents and from every evil thing When thou seest fit to remove us out of this vain World translate us into that Blessed and Happy State which thou hast prepared for thy Ransomed Ones And if thou art pleased to prolong our time grant that we may spend it to good purpose in such Designs Words and Actions as may tend to thy Honour and Glory through Jesus Christ our Lord. In whose Blessed Name and Words we continue to pray as he hath taught us saying Our Father c. A short Prayer for the Morning or Evening when through Extraordinary Occasions there is not time for the other O Lord our God look down with an Eye of Pity upon us thy unworthy Servants this Morning Pardon us the many Sins whereof we are Guilty before thee in our Thoughts Words and Deeds Have Mercy upon us and be reconciled to us through Jesus Christ thy dear Son Sanctifie and assist us by thy Holy Spirit that for the time to come we may do thy Will and seek thy Glory We bless thy Name for all thy Mercies especially for thy wonderful Love in Christ Jesus whom thou hast sent into the World to die for us to purchase for us an Everlasting Kingdom Give us Grace firmly to believe in him heartily to love him and constantly to obey him Grant that it may be our sincere Endeavour to follow his Blessed Example in all Lowliness and Self-Denyal in Meekness and Patience in Charity and Compassion in Sincerity and Vprightness in Temperance and Soberness in Thankfulness and Contentedness in Purity and Holiness in Watchfulness and Circumspectness and in fervent and prudent Zeal for thy Honour and Glory O Lord we bless thee for bringing us safely through the last Night Watch over us this Day Keep us mindful of thy All-seeing Eye that we may avoid every thing that is displeasing to thee Be Gracious to all Mankind Have Mercy on these Lands Bless and Guide our Rulers and all thy Ministers Be near to all who are in trouble and Sanctifie their Afflictions to them Be with our Friends and Relations every where Bless them and us with all things needful for our Souls and Bodies Make us sensible of our Frailty and Mortality give us Grace so to number our Days that we may apply our Hearts to Wisdom When this vain and short Life is at an end make us Partakers of Everlasting Life and Happiness through Jesus Christ our Lord who hath taught us when we pray to say Our Father c. SOME FORMS OF PRAYER WHICH Parents may teach their Children according to their Age. A Morning Prayer to be taught Children when they begin to speak O Lord I praise thee for all thy Mercies and for thy Care of me this Night Watch over me this Day Forgive me all my sins and make me thy Child for Jesus Christ's sake This Prayer may be used likewise at Night only changing that Petition watch over me this Day into watch over me this Night When Children come to be four or five years old the following Prayer may be used O Lord my God what shall I render unto thee for all thy Mercies I bless thee for giving me Life and all things needful to keep me alive But above all I bless thee for sending Christ to dye for me that he might wash me with his Blood and make me fit for the Kingdom of Heaven For his sake have mercy upon me and forgive me all my sinful thoughts words and deeds Give me Grace to serve thee as I ought to do that I may not do nor say a naughty thing lest thou be angry with me and cast me into Hell fire Lord bless and preserve my Father and Mother and all my Friends and Relations I praise thee O God for preserving me this Night watch over me this day save me from every evil thing Good Lord hear me and grant me whatever thou knowest to be best for me for Jesus Christ's sake in whose holy Name and Words I pray Our Father c. This Prayer may be likewise used at Night by changing only two words and saying instead of preserving me this night preserving me this day and instead of watch over me this day watch over me this night A Morning Prayer for Children when they come to twelve or fourteen years of Age sooner or later according to the ripeness of their understanding LORD teach and assist me by thy
M Vendor â—ucht scul Printed for J Taylor J. Eueringham A NEW Family-Book OR THE True Interest OF FAMILIES BEING Directions to Parents and Children and to those who are instead of Parents shewing them their several DUTIES and how they may be Happy in one another Together with several PRAYERS for Families and Children and GRACES before and after Meat To which is annexed a DISCOURSE about the Right Way of Improving our TIME By JAMES KIRKWOOD Rector of Astwick in Bedfordshire With a Preface by Dr. Horneck The Second Edition Corrected and much Enlarged LONDON Printed for J. Taylor at the Ship-in St. Paul's Church-Yard and J. Everingham at the Star in Ludgate-Street 1693. To my Honoured Friend and Patron Thomas Brown of Arlsey Esq and to Mrs. Mary Brown his Wife ALL who have a right Sense of Things and understand but a little of the State of Religion in the World cannot but see and lament the great decay thereof every where amongst us Atheism and Irreligion are become too much in fashion and have too many Votaries and Followers It has not been known in any Age that such sort of Men or rather Monsters for Man is too Honourable a Name for them have been so numerous so daring and impudent and so successful Who could imagine that in a Christian State there should be such Persons who are at great pains to propagate Atheism and to run down if they were able our most Holy Religion As the neglect of Educating Children aright contributes too much to this degeneracy so the most likely Remedy of this dangerous and spreading Distemper is a due care in Parents and others who have the Charge of Children to train them up in the Knowledge Fear and Love of God To do what in them lies to fortifie their Minds against those Snares and Temptations to which they are exposed and to shine before them in the Practice of sincere Piety themselves Tho' too many on whom God has bestowed Children are so far from doing their Duty for their Souls that they corrupt and utterly ruin them which one of the Ancients calls a greater Cruelty than if they killed their Bodies Yet blessed be God there are some who consider it as their main Business with Relation to their Children to make them wise and good Lovers of God and Haters of every Evil Thing Amongst those who are governed by this Religious Principle God hath made you my most Honoured Friends great Patterns As he hath blessed you with a numerous offspring so he hath given you of the Wisdom from above to know how to Train them up in Piety and Virtue The happy mixture of Kindness and Severity which you use towards them makes them not only to stand in awe of you but to love you I might be allowed on this occasion to say somewhat in Commendation of those Excellent Qualities which God has blessed you with and which appear not only in your way and manner of Educating your Children but in other things likewise The many and great Expressions of your kindness for me ever since I had the Honour to be known to you require the most publick Testimony of my grateful Resentment thereof But 't is one of your Virtues that you chuse rather to be concealed than to make any great noise in the World I shall therefore restrain my self from what otherwise not only Gratitude but the great and just Esteem and Affection I have for you do mightily tempt me unto And shall conclude this Address with my Prayers to God for you That he would increase his Grace in you more and more that you may abound in all the Fruits of Righteousness and true Holiness until you obtain the End of your Faith the Salvation of your Souls I am Tour most Affectionate Friend and most Faithful Servant James Kirkwood THE PREFACE THE Author of the ensuing Treatise having thought fit to recommend his Papers to my perusal I was willing to usher them into the World with some remarks upon his pious design The Welfare of a Common Wealth doth in a great measure depend upon the Duties of the Relatives here treated of and did Parents and Children conscientiously discharge all the Obâ—igations incumbent upon them by the Law of God and Nature the World could not be so wicked as it is Education makes the first impressions upon the Souls of Men and were care taken that the Ground be impregnated with good Seed such a Harvest might be expected from it that Posterity might be the better for it I am sensible that Conversation and the Humour of the Age is apt to make strange alterations in the Principles we imbâ—be yet something will stick and when the thoughts are cool and Men come to reflect the Principles they have learned when the wax was soft will recoil and oblige them to return to their Duty Of this we have experience and though there is no Rule so general but admits of exceptions yet it 's enough that this effect doth frequently appear which is no inconsiderable Motive to the serious consideration of a thing of this importance It was a wise answer which one of the LXXII Interpreters gave to Ptolemaeus Philadelphus who asked him what was the greatest negligence The neglect saith he of the good Education of Children It is so and the hurt that 's done by it both to them and to the Publick is unspeakable Whence is it that there are so many Prodigals that so many come to an untimely end that so many run into excesses which destroy both Soul and Body From want of pious Education It was a severe Censure which Carneades the Philosopher passed upon the Children of Rich Men that they learned nothing but to ride well Indeed it is to be wondered that Rational Creatures should be so careful to breed up their Progeny to sensuality and neglect the cultivation of that which makes them differ from Bruits and shews they are Creatures of a nobler extract Can any thing be more reasonable than Virtue and the fear of God Is not this it which both Scripture and Philosophy teaches Do not we our selves confess so much and do not most Men acknowledge it when they come to dye And yet that we should make this the least part of our care in the Education of Youth is wondrous strange Some seem to fancy that sending their Children to School or to teach them their Catechism is all the Care that is incumbent upon them Though I cannot say but that this is a Duty yet it is so imperfect that I can scarce honour it with the Title of doing it by halves it being but the beginning or the least part of it Instruction Precept and Example are the mighty Engines and Instruments in the promoting and accomplishing this Work and perhaps nothing hath a greater influence than Example for all the Moral Precepts of the Parents are like Water spilt upon the Ground where Example doth not concomitate the instruction How
which Words it appears That all who believe not only Jews or Persons Circumcised but Gentiles also or Persons uncircumcised are accounted the Children of Abraham and capable to partake of that Happiness and Salvation which was Promised to him as the Father of the Faithful To the same purpose saith the Apostle writing to the Galatians Chap. 3. 9. They which be of Faith are blessed with Faithful Abraham And v. 29. If ye be Christ's then are ye Abraham 's Seed and Heirs according to the Promise Again 1 Cor. 7. 14. he saith The unbelieving Husband is Sanctified by the Wife and the unbelieving Wife is Sanctified by the Husband Else were your Children unclean but now are they Holy Which intimates that the Children of all Believers whether they be Jews or Gentiles are within God's Covenant and have a Right to those Favours and Priviledges which he hath annexed thereto Likewise Acts 2. 39. 't is said The Promise is unto you and to your Children and to all that are afar off even as many as the Lord our God shall call So that all who are called by the Preaching of the Gospel and do believe in the Lord Jesus are both themselves and their Children within the Covenant of Grace If it were not so Then the Blessing of Abraham were not come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ as it affirmed Gal. 3. 14. For how could the same Blessing be come on the Gentiles if their Children were not comprehended within the Covenant of Grace which was a part of the Blessing of Abraham And how could Christians be Heirs according to the Promise if their Children have no Right to it as Abraham's Children had Or can it be imagined that the Condition of Believers under the Gospel is worse than the Condition of those who believed under the Law Are God's Mercies and Favours to Mankind impaired by Christ's coming into the World Has the great Lover of Souls the Redeemer of the World been the occasion of our loseing great and considerable Priviledges by his Tabernacling amongst us And yet all this must needs follow if now under the Gospel the Children of Believers are excluded from the Covenant of Grace which they were admitted to under the Law which is very inconsistent with the Divine Goodness and contrary to the Love of our Lord Jesus which he manifested in his Blessed Gospel where we find he Commanded the Children to be brought unto him and blamed those who would have kept them from him He took them into his Arms laid his Hands upon them and Blessed them and declared that he accounted them Heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven Mat. 19. 13 14 15. and Mark 10. 13 14 15. 16. From all which both Words and Deeds of our Saviour we may see very plainly he was far from hindering their being admitted Members of his Church and Kingdom The Right of Infants to Baptism will further appear if you consider more particularly the Institution of Baptism The Jews were wont to admit into their Church not only Aged Persons who were converted to Paganism but likewise their Children which they did by Circumcision Sacrifice and Baptism Our Saviour being to determine the manner of admitting Disciples and Proselytes into his Church that he might make his Yoke easie to those who would come after him laid aside Circumcision which was a painful Rite and Sacrifices which were very Costly and only retained Baptism to be the Sacrament of Initiation or Admission of Disciples into his Church Go ye said he to his Apostles Mat. 28. 19. and teach or as the Words may be Translated Disciple or make Disciples of all Nations Baptizing them in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost Now this Command being given to Men who knew that the Infants of those who were Converted were admitted into the Jewish Church as well as the Parents themselves is there the least Ground to imagine any other but that our Saviour's Design was that the Children of Believers should still be admitted into his Church as well as formerly into the Jewish And no doubt if he had thought fit to discontinue the Jewish Practice he would have expresly signified his Mind about it to prevent an otherwise unavoidable mistake To all which might be added that the Catholick or Universal Church not only at this Day but in former Ages has observed this Custom of Baptizing the Children of Christian Parents Now if Children have so good a Right to Baptism what shall be said of those Parents who â—light and neglect it and so deprive their poor Children of that which God their Heavenly Father hath ordained for so great and excellent purposes We see how careful Parents are if their Children have a Title to Houses and Lands or other Temporal Things to use their utmost Endeavours to make their Title as sure unto them as is possible And yet how sad is it to think that they are not at all careful to have their Children Baptized tho' God has appointed this Sacrament to be the Seal of his Covenant and an Evidence of that Right which Believers and their Children have to the Kingdom of Heaven 2. Duty to feason their Minds betimes with good Impressions Secondly When Children begin to speak and to discover some dawnings of Reason it is fit to season their Minds with some good Thoughts with some divine Impressions that Religion betimes may catch hold of their tender and innocent Minds before they are corrupted and defiled with bad Principles and vain and unreasonable Opinions which they are apt to learn too soon from evil Company Teach them who made them who dyed for them for what end they were made whither good Children go when they dye and whither naughty Children go what a place Heaven is and Hell c. Amongst other Things 't will be very useful to tell Children some of the most remarkable Histories in Scripture as so many Arguments and Motives to excite them to be good Children and to avoid all wicked and naughty Courses For Example tell them the Story of the Deluge how God punished the Old World because they were wicked but saved Noah Thereby take occasion to shew them the Danger of being wicked that sinning with Company will not preserve from Punishment what a Happy thing it is to be good and how kind the Lord is to such who keep his Commandments as Noah did To this purpose tell them also the Story of Sodom and Gomorrah c. How those Cities were consumed by Fire from Heaven for their great Wickedness and how Lot was preserved from that dreadful Destruction Tell them the History of David and Goliah that they may learn not to be proud of their Strength but may put their Trust in God who is able to save them from their mightiest Enemies Tell them the Story of the naughty Children at Bethel how they mocked the Old Prophet Elijah and how 42 of them were torn in pieces by two Bears
when I came forth out of Egypt c. And v. 14. And it shall be when thy Son asketh thee in time to come saying What is this to wit that is said about setting apart unto the Lord the First-born That thou shalt say unto him by strength of Hand the Lord brought us out from Egypt from the House of Bondage And it came to pass when Pharaoh would hardly let us go that the Lord slew all the First-born in the Land of Egypt Therefore I Sacrifice to the Lord all that openeth the Matrix but all the First-born of my Children I redeem Likewise Josh. 4 6 7. 'T is said When your Children ask their Fathers in time to come saying What mean you by these Stones Then ye shall answer them that the Waters of Jordan were cut off before the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord when it passed over Jordan And these Stones shall be a memorial unto the Children of Israel for ever See also Exod. 10. 1 2. Joel 1. 2 3 4. From all which it appears how important and necessary a Duty it is for Parents to acquaint their Children with the Providences of God a due sense whereof will above all other things tend to make them wise and good Some Directions to Parents how to render their Endeavours effectual Now to render your Admonitions and all other Endeavours effectual for the good of your Children First you must give them good Example when you bid them read or pray or partake of the Holy Sacrament or attend the publick Worship you must so far as is needful and fit do the same things your selves When you exhort them to be humble to be of a mild and gentle Temper to bear patiently uneasie things to be sober and temperate to be Charitable to the Poor to judge favourably of those who differ from them in small matters not to be unkind or uncivil to any tho' they agree not in their Opinion with them in some lesser points of Religion but to love all those who fear and love God and who are Followers of Jesus Christ. I say when you direct and exhort your Children to do such things you must joyn with your Instructions a suitable Example let it appear to them that you your selves are Humble Mild Patient Sober Charitable Kind and Loving to all who are sincerely Pious and Virtuous without making any difference on the account of Indifferent things I mean such things which God hath neither commanded nor forbidden This is the only way to make your Instructions and Admonitions successful when in this manner you go before them your selves in the way wherein you desire them to walk Children learn more by the Eye than by the Ear if they see you do contrary to what you advise them they will be apt to think you do not believe what you say or that you are very cruel and unmerciful towards them to bind heavy Burdens upon them and not to touch them your selves And if you should constrain your Children to do what you do not your selves what would it signifie It would only make them Hypocrites and Dissemblers to do that which they have no Heart unto and which they are not perswaded to be their Duty Such Children when once the restraint and force which is upon them is removed will be sure to give themselves the full swing in all manner of Folly they will do those things which they have seen in you and learned by your Example But if you shine before your Children in the constant Practice of true Piety walking in the Fear of God and in Obedience to all his Holy Commandments your Example will propagate Religion more effectually than all the Admonitions and Instructions in the World And besides the Influence which your Pious Example is apt to have on your Childrens lives this is the way for you to entail a Blessing on your Posterity The Just Man saith Solomon Prov. 20. 7. walketh in his Integrity his Children are blessed after him And Psal. 112. 2. 't is said His Seed shall be mighty upon Earth the Generation of the Vpright shall Blessed And Ex. 20. 6. God hath prâ—â—mised to shew Mercy unto Thousands 〈◊〉 them that love him and keep his Coâ—â—mandments 2dly Chuse good Coâ—â—pany for your Childreâ— so far as you have oppoâ—â—tunity and ability to 〈◊〉 it otherwise neither your Admoâ—â—tions nor Examples will signifie mucâ—â— Their ordinary Company if naughtâ— will pull down faster than you are aâ—â— to build Corrupt Nature is easâ— drawn away by the Example and Aâ—â—lurements of Sinners This is like gâ—â—ing down hill which is easie consideâ—â—ing Mens natural bent anâ— Inclination Whereâ—â— Self-denyal and mortifyinâ— our Lusts and Passions 〈◊〉 more difficult especially at first 〈◊〉 going up hill When therefore yoâ— see your Children falling into the acquaintance of Vicious and Foolish Persons delay not to rescue them froâ— the Snare to break off their Familiâ—â—rity that they be not corrupted thereâ—by and utterly ruined We see hoâ— careful People are to keep their Children from those who have the Small Pox or any other infectious Distemper and yet what a strange madness is it for them to trust them to the Society of those whose Lives and Manners are full of the deadly Poyson of Sin which infects and kills the Soul As you ought to do all you can to preserve your Children from all sorts of vicious Company so particularly from Flatterers Endeavour to save them from this dangerous Snare than which there can be nothing of more dreadful Consequence unto them Such vile and servile Society will very quickly pull down all that you have built They will utterly corrupt your Children and render their condition desperate For when once they are under the power of Flatterers the Gate is thenceforth shut against Truth and against plain and upright dealing when their delight is only in those who praise and commend them in all they do or say when such who admire them and who study nothing but to please them in every thing right or wrong are their only Favourites to be sure they who are their Best and Wisest and most Faithful Friends who tell them the truth and speak not so much what may be pleasing as what may be profitable unto them will not be very welcome or acceptable to them And because such Flatterers are found often amongst Servants who in hopeâ— of serving their covetous or ambitious or perhaps other base and wicked designs do make it their business by all sorts of vile Compliances to gain the Favour and Love of the Children of Richer or more Honourable Persons Therefore 't is not only the Duty but the Interest of Parents to be very careful what Servants they receive into their Family or what Persons they admit to stay in their House knowing that according to the Proverb One Scabbed Sheep will infect the whole Flock The Example of the Psalmist ought to be a Rule in this matter Psal.
a very bad use of it so as to despise their reproofs and chastenings when they are more just and necessary Fourthly When it pleaseth God to visit them with sickness or any other adversity be sure to do all that you can to bear in upon their minds a sense of those things you are most desirous to have them touched with and which in time of their health they made but very little account of Affliction is the time in which God useth to work upon the hearts of People most powerfully and effectually then he awakeneth them and convinceth them of their sad and dangerous state he casts them down that being made sensible of their sin and danger he may again raise them up and speak comfortably to them I will allure her and bring her into the Wilderness and speak comfortably to her Hos. 2. 4. Therefore all they who sincerely desire to reclaim their Children or others from their bad and foolish courses ought to take the opportunity of their Sickness their Pain and Grief their Losses and Disappointments and of any other sorts of Troubles and Afflictions wherein they are that then they may suggest to them such counsels and advices as are proper for their Instruction their conviction and amendment At other times there are a great many things which are apt to hinder good Counsel from entring into the mind or from making any deep impression thereon Pleasures and Vanities are apt to choak the good Seed But when they are afflicted and humbled a little by some outward pressure or bodily distemper they are thereby somewhat better disposed to hear Friendly Admonitions and Counsels and to think a little more seriously of their ways and doings It is good for a Man that he bear the Yoke in his Youth He sitteth alone and keepeth silence c. Lam. 3. 27 28. When it hath pleased God to restore your Children to health or to deliver them from any other Affliction fail not to put them in mind of their afflicted Estate and of God's goodness towards them when they were in adversity Endeavour to make them sensible for what end God hath been so kind to them to wit that they may amend their Lives and bring forth Fruits meet for Repentance Strive to keep them mindful of their Purposes and Resolutions and press them to the fulfilling of them Stir them up to be thankful to God for his Mercy and to be very watchful lest Satan prevail over them any more Fifthly Be earnest in your Prayers to God daily for them that he would make them what he requires them to be his dutiful and obedient Children and Servants that he would give them his Holy Spirit to sanctifie and cleanse them to enlighten and direct them and to assist and strengthen them that he would season their Hearts with his Fear and Love that he would turn them from Sin and Folly and incline their Hearts to keep his Precepts always even unto the end that he would hold up their goings in his Paths that their footsteps may not slide that he would be their God and Guide their Sun and Shield and their Portion for ever that he would give every one of them those things which be best and most needful for them that he would Sanctifie every State and Condition of Life wherein his Providence doth place them If they are in a healthful and prosperous State pray to God to make them sensible of and thankful for his undeserved goodness and that he would preserve them from the snares and dangers to which Prosperity does expose them You see what was Job's constant course at the end of his Childrens Feasting Job 1. 5. He sent and Sanctified them and rose up early in the Morning and Offered burnt Offerings according to the number of them all For he said it may be my Sons have sinned and cursed God in their Hearts c. Again if they are in Sickness or any other Adversity beg of God to Sanctifie their Afflictions to make them blessed and happy means of their Reformation or of their Improvement in true Piety When you are about to instruct to admonish to reprove or to correct your Children pray to God to direct you by his good Spirit to do your Duty in an acceptable manner and that he would incline and dispose them to their Duty and make them Gainers by what you do or say for their good 'T is not always necessary for you in every particular Admonition or Reproof c. which you use towards your Children to make a Solemn Prayer by retiring into your Closet this ought to be done upon extraordinary Occasions but ordinarily it will suffice if you lift up your Hearts unto God in a short and fervent Ejaculation for his Direction and Blessing in what you are to do or say to your Children You have great encouragement to do this because you are assured that God heareth Prayer he hath said Every one that asketh receiveth So that either he will grant your Children what you beg for them or if they render themselves unworthy of the Mercy and Kindness of God by their perverseness and stubbornness yet you are sure of one thing that your Prayers are not lost they shall return into your Bosom God will plentifully reward your Piety your Charity and Zeal with more Grace here and Glory hereafter Now if it be the Duty of Parents in this manner to pray for their Children what shall be said of those who instead of praying for their Children curse them and use fearful Imprecations against them How dreadful a thing is it for those to whom it belongs to bless their Children instead of doing this to curse them How unnatural a thing is it instead of contributing to their Happiness to do their utmost to make them Eternally miserable 'T is true some Children are very perverse and wicked guilty of great stubbornness and disobedience and of great contempt aud neglect of their Parents But yet for all this Parents ought never to give over praying for them and if at any time their Passion and discontent occasion in their minds any thing that looks like a tendency to evil wishes or Imprecations against their Children let them with as great care endeavour to be delivered therefrom as they would from Fire if it broke forth in their Houses And indeed if they who have the worst Children did but consider what woful Effects do often attend such rash curses they would beware of using them though never so much provoked It is very observable that God often in his wrath and Vengeance heareth such Imprecations when uttered by Parents whereby he sheweth his just Displeasure and Indignation both against them and their Children From what hath been said Parents may see what they must do to render their Admonitions and all their other endeavours effectual for the good of their Children Some Motives to excite Parents to do these things Now to stir you up to
of making their Children Lovers and Followers of that which is good All wise and good People who observe the Truth and Faithfulness the Justice and Uprightness the Meekness and Modesty the Prudence and Discretion and the other Virtues which appear in Children must needs conceive and entertain very respectful thoughts of the Parents themselves by whose means the Children have been so Virtuously and Religiously Formed and Educated But besides all that has been said Good and Virtuous Children afford manifold Advantages to their Parents The Psalmist Psal. 128. 3. compares them to Olive Plants round about the Table of their Parents that is as Olive Plants are not only for Ornament but of great use to those who possess them so good Children are not only Ornaments to their Parents but very useful and profitable to them in many regards for example they serve their Parents they assist and help them in their Employment they stand by them in their danger and defend them they provide for them in their want they pray for them and do many Important Offices to them so that no wonder if the Psalmist saith Psal. 127. 5. Happy is the Man that hath his Quiver full of them they shall not be ashamed but they shall speak with the Enemies in the Gate That is it makes Parents Couragious it encourages them to appear in publick in their own just defence when they have worthy Children to attend them and to assist them against those who endeavour to wrong them Fourthly The benefit of the good Education of Children is not confined to the Parents alone but is extended both to Church and State Families being the Nurseries both of one and t'other 1 st As to the Church when Children are rightly educated in the Knowledge and Practice of true Religion they will then be sure to observe all such things as tend to Peace Unity and Edification they will readily and gladly joyn in Religious Assemblies and carefully avoid whatever tends to unnecessary Separation Neither will they only joyn outwardly in Christian Assemblies but will be careful likewise to do it sincerely to Worship God in Spirit and in Truth and to hear his Word with great Reverence and Attention with a great desire to know the Divine Will and with a real and hearty design to do it They will also observe all other Sacred Institutions without consulting with Flesh and Blood And as they will do those things themselves so they will do what they can to engage others to do the like And not only will they carry themselves as Christians in publick but likewise in their several Relations and Capacities wherein God hath placed them in the World they will be careful to adorn their Christian Profession they will study to avoid whatever is contrary to true Piety they will Zealously endeavour to do all the good they can in the World For which end they will watch the most fit Occasions of doing good to the Souls of those they are acquainted with and will be sure to comply with any favourable Opportunity of serving them in those things which are for their Everlasting Happiness which tend to make them wiser and better How great a Blessing would it be to the Church to have many such Persons of her Society And therefore as the sense of this ought to excite Parents to do their utmost to Educate their Children in the Fear and Love of God So it ought to stir up the Guides of the Church to employ themselves Vigorously in dealing with younger Persons to make them wise and good in endeavouring all they can to beget in their minds a true Sense of Religion and Virtue to possess them with the Knowledge and Love of God to fortifie them against the many Temptations to Sin and Folly to which they are exposed And in a word to make theâ— Followers of Christ in true Holinesâ— in this World and fit to live anâ— Reign with him in Glory in the Worâ— to come All who have dealt with Mankind about the concerns of another Life must needs lament that very littâ— can be done for reforming Aged People who are hardned in Evil Habits and therefore there is the greater neeâ— to deal in good earnest with young Persons to prevent their being corrupted and to lay in them the Foundatioâ— of solid Piety for the time to come 2 dly As to the State it would likewise reap no small Benefit by thâ— right Education of Children For 〈◊〉 As to those who are to Rule aâ—â— Govern others whether in an higheâ— or more subordinate Quality if theâ— are happy in a Pious and Virtuous Education if their minds are seasonâ— with Religious Principles if they aâ—â— possessed with a great Love to thâ— which is good and with a great Abhorrence and Detestation of thâ— which is Evil if they are trained 〈◊〉 in the daily Practice of Modesty anâ— Humility of Meekness and Patience of Truth and Faithfulness of Justice and Uprightness of Brotherly Kindness and Charity and of Temperance and Sobriety c. I say if they who are to rule others are Educated in this manner there is great reason to hope that they will prove great Blessings in those publick Capacities to which it shall please God to call them Such Persons are likely to Minister Justice impartially to encourage Piety and Virtue where-ever they see it and to curb and restrain whatever is dishonourable to God and unsuitable to the Christian Profession Whereas on the contrary when they who are to rule others are bred up in Idleness and Luxury are gratified in their Vanity and Folly are cherished in their Passions and Extravagancies are accustomed to no Society but of trifling or Atheistical Persons and are not employed in any useful sort of Business I say when they who are to rule others have such woful Education what can be expected from them but such things only as are dishonourable to God scandalous to Religion and in many regards prejudicial to Mankind 2 dly As for those of lower Quality when once they are inspir'd with the Knowledge of Christian Principles and when these have taken deep root in them and have a due Influence upon them they will not only teach them but also engage them to Honour and Obey their Rulers and that not only for Fear but also for Conscience sake As Christianity will make them give unto God the Things that be God's so it will cause them to give unto Caesar the Things that be Caesar ' s. It will likewise make them true and sincere in all their words just and upright in all their deeds faithful and constant in all their Lawful Undertakings and Charitable and Compassionate to every body in distress studious of Purity and Chastity of Temperance and Sobriety and of Peace and Concord It will cause them as much as is possible to live Peaceably with all Men to seek Peace and to pursue it to be Zealous Peace-makers and to be ready to overcome Evil with Good
It will direct them when their Neighbour or Friend is overtaken with a fault to restore him with the Spirit of Meekness It will make them not to seek their own things only but likewise their Neighbours good as well as their own It will not only restrain them from what is manifestly evil but will also make them careful to avoid every appearance of it to shun the very thoughts and desire of Wickedness It will cause them to be content with what God bestows upon them and not to envy others not to covet their Goods nor wrong them by word or deed And â—in a word the lively Impressions of Religion will make them careful to keep their Consciences Void of Offence both towards God and towards Men. Now if these Rules of our Holy Religion had their due Influence on the minds of People what a Blessed and Happy Society would there be in the World How easie would every Man be How well-pleased How safe and secure from hurt and danger How confident in his Friends Neighbours and Acquaintance Knowing and being well assured that they fear and love God and therefore will do no wrong As the Consideration of these things ought to make Parents very careful to do all that ever they can towards the right Education of their Children so iâ— ought mightily to excite all Christian Rulers and Governours to do their part in this matter particularly to take care that there be Schools every where and that such Persons be chosen to Educate Children at School as not only are skilful to teach them to Read Write c. But who may contribute likewise towards the seasoning their minds with Religious Principles who will look upon it as one great part of their Business to endeavour to possess them with the Fear and Love of God How worthy of Christian Magistrates were it also to take care that all Schools and Colleges be visited often by fit Persons that the Diligent may be encouraged and that the Remiss and Negligent or the Vicious and Prophane may be discouraged by all Just and Lawful means These things cannot be look'd upon as Forreign to the Magistrates Office if it be but duely considered how much Benefit comes to the State by the good Education of Children and how much mischief cometh thereto by the neglect of their Education Of old the Persians Lacedemonians Cretians and others thought it their Interest to see to the right Education of Children they did not think it safe to leave so great a Trust wholly in the hands of Parents who through Partiality Fondness or Indiscretion might utterly spoil them and thereby do unspeakable Mischief to the State And no doubt till once all Christian Rulers and Governours both in Church and State make it more their business to see to the right Education of Children there is no great hopes of ever seeing any considerable Reformation in the World Fifthly If you neglect to do these things for the Souls of your Children and leave them to themselves to do as they list then you may expect that their Sins and Follies their Pride and Passion their Gluttony and Drunkenness their Cursing and Swearing their Lying and Deceiving their Malice and Revenge their Chambering and Wantonness their Atheism and Irreligion will not only prove Tragical to them but occasion great uneasiness Vexation and Grief of Mind to you Prov. 10. 1. A foolish Son is a heaviness to his Mother and Chap. 17. 21. He that begetteth a Fool doth it to his Sorrow and the Father of a Fool hath no Joy 'T is true 't is not in the Power of Parents to infuse good Qualities into the minds of their Children some are so very perverse that all that can be said or done by Parents is altogether slighted and neglected by them We know that Abraham had an Ishmael as well as an Isaac and Isaac an Esau as well as a Jacob and Jacob a Reuben as well as a Joseph However such Parents who have the affliction of sad and wretched Children have some comfort and satisfaction in having done their Duty for them and in endeavouring to approve themselves unto God who will accept of their honest and sincere endeavours and will crown them with glorious Rewards But it is otherwise when Children prove bad through the too great Indulgence or the Negligence and bad Example of Parents What a deep wound must it needs give them when they begin to consider that they did not their part to make their Children good and were so far from it that they corrupted and ruined them by their bad Example and over great kindness and indulgence Such Parents do often eat the Fruits of their cruel fondness and feel the sad Effects of their own bad Example by means of their Prophane and Graceless Children As God doth often visit the Iniquity of the Parents upon the Children so when Children are suffered to go on in their foolish and wicked courses through the indiscreet gentleness and kindness of Parents who perhaps are in other respects good People the Lord doth sometimes punish such Parents and bring Temporal Judgments upon them Ely was a great instance of this 1 Sam. 2. and 22. He heard all that his Sons did unto all Israel which were things of a very vile Nature whereby as it 's said Chap. 3. and 13. they made themselves vile that is hateful to God and base and contemptible to all the People by their lewd and abominable Practices Ely did reprove them but it was too coldly and gently Chap. 2. 23 24 And he said unto them Why do you such things for I hear of your evil dealings by all this People Nay my Sons for it is no good Report that I hear you make the Lord's People to transgress Besides his reproof he ought to have restrained them Ch. 3. and 13. as being High Priest a Judge and Chief Governour amongst the People He ought to have put them out of the Priesthood as accurssed Persons and Executed the Laws of God against them Which because he did not therefore God denounced very dreadful Judgments against him by a Prophet whom he sent unto him Chap. 2. 31 3â— 33 34 36. and Chap. 3. 13 14. And in Chap. 4. we find his two Sons Hophâ—â— and Phineas were slain in Battel by the Philistines and the Ark of God was taken upon the news whereof the Old Man fell from off his Seat backwards and his Neck brake and he died We see likewise in David what was the Effect of his too great indulgence to some of his Children especially Absalom and Adonijah who not only wrought their own destruction but proved great Crosses to their aged Father Here it will not be unfit to relate what St. Augustin tells us of the sad Effects of leaving a Child to himself and not endeavouring to Educate him aright The Story is this There was one Cyril a Citizen of Hippo who having one only Son was so fond of him that
he avoided doing or saying any thing that tended to make his Son uneasie The young Man finding himself at Liberty through his Father's Indulgence to live as he thought good gave up himself to all manner of Folly particularly to Drunkenness Notwithstanding this his Father still continued to be as fond as ever and would not do any thing to restrain him from doing what he had a mind to The consequence whereof was very dreadful and terrible for a little time after this wretched Son coming home very drunk killed his Father as also his Mother then big with Child he attempted to have Ravished his Sisters of whom two were Mortally Wounded by him Such sad Examples as these ought to awaken Parents to do what they can to Educate their Children in the Fear of God to train them up in the Study and Practice of true Piety and to restrain them by all due means from Sin and Folly Which things if they fail to do they may expect sooner or later to reap the Bitter and Cursed Fruits of so sad a Neglect Advice to Parents PART II. The Duties of Parents as to their Childrens Bodies HAving treated of the Duty of Parents towards their Children as to their Souls the better part I shall next shew what their Duties are as to the Bodies of their Children First It belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children unless some bodily Imperfection great Weakness or Sickness or her circumstances in the World make it impossible or very dangerous and inconvenient both for her and the Children or for either For this end it is that God hath given Breasts unto Women and caused the Milk to flow into them that there may be nourishment suitable to the tender Infants in a readiness for them Neither can we suppose any other body capable of shewing equal Care and Love to the Children with that which it is natural for the Mother to express to the Fruit of her own Womb. Besides this it cannot well be imagined that the Milk of any other Body can be so fit for the Child as its own Mothers if she be but in tollerable Health We see that Sarah did not think that the greatness of her Quality or her great Age did excuse her from this Natural Obligation of giving Suck unto her Child Gen. 21. 7. And she said who would have said unto Abraham that Sarah should have given Children Suck For I have born him a Son in my Old Age. Which words suppose it to be the unquestionable Duty as well as common Practice of Mothers to give Suck to their Children When God chose a Nurse for Moses Exod. 2. 8. he led the Handmaid of Pharaoh's Daughter to the Child's Mother We find that amongst other Characters of a Woman that was fit to be taken into the number of Widows there was this If she hath brought up Children 1 Tim. 5. 10. or as the words may be Translated If she has nourished or fed her Children It was reckoned as a sign of God's Wrath Hos. 9. 14. To have dry Breasts And therefore they cannot be accounted Innocent who without apparent Necessity dry up their Breasts and so deprive their Children of that Food and Nourishment which Nature designed for them The words of the Psalmist David Psal. 22. 9. do not only imply that his Mother gave him Suck but they also shew that it was the practice of all Mothers to do the like to their Children Thou didst make me hope saith he when I was upon my Mother's Breasts Solomon likewise takes it for granted that Children of the same Womb should Suck of the same Breasts Cant. 8. 1. O that thou wert as my Brother that Sucked the Breasts of my Mother To all which might be added the words of the Woman to our Saviour Luke 11. 27. Blessed is the Womb that bare thee and the Paps which thou hast Sucked Which words suppose that she who bare him did also give him Suck We find that amongst the very Heathens they were accounted but half Mothers who neglected to give Suck to their Children One of their Ancient Authors speaking on this Subject saith How unnatural a thing is this how imperfect and only to be a Mother by halves having brought forth a Child presently to throw it away having nourished in her Womb somewhat that she could not see not now to nourish it with her Milk when she sees it alive and calling for her Assistance We see likewise that Nature hath impressed on the most Savage and wild Creatures a readiness to draw out their Breasts to their young Lam. 4. 3. Even the Sea Monsters draw out the Breast they give Suck to their young ones And shall Women degenerate into such unnatural Barbarity towards their young as is not to be met with amongst the most Savage Creatures Shall they whose Love and Tenderness has been so noted and admired prove unkind and cruel to the fruit of their own Womb 2 dly When Children are fit for stronger Food Parents are not to indulge them too much in gratifying the curiosity and daintiness of their Palate which not only is apt to make them too soft and tender but likewise disposeth them to Gluttony and Sensuality to make their Belly their God It is fit to accustom them to a plain and simple Diet which is generally more wholsome than that sort of Food which is very artificially prepared The State of all Humane Things is very uncertain they who have at present all manner of things in greatest plenty and variety may meet with changes and vicissitudes It 's therefore a part of the Wisdom of Parents to accustom their Children so far as their Health and Strength can bear it to eat any sort of Food that so if God sees fit to change their outward condition and circumstances they may be the more fit and able to endure such an alteration Thirdly As to theâ— Habit and Apparel Parents ought to cloathâ— them decently but not gorgeously Fineries and Gayeties 〈◊〉 Apparel are apt to make People especially younger Persons vain 〈◊〉 conceited to value themselves upoâ— their gay Cloathing It is fit ofteâ— to suggest to them that their Cloathâ— and Apparel are but borrowed Feathers and therefore that it is a greaâ— Folly to be proud of that which is 〈◊〉 their own but which they owe to thâ— Sheep or Goats to the Worms 〈◊〉 Bowels of the Earth It is not fit for Parents to make too great distinction among their Children as to their Apparel because this is apt to cause discontentâ— and Jealousies Hatred and Envy Contentions and Quarrellings amongâ—â— them Joseph's Coat of many colours which his old Father Jacob gave him caused his Brethren to hate and enâ—â— him and at last to conspire most wickedly against him Gen. 37. 3 4 c. The same is to be said as to their Diet and other things wherein it is no small part of the Wisdom of Parents not to shew too much
fondness to one above all the rest This does not hinder but that Parents may to very good purpose give Rewards to their Children for their Acts of Virtue for their ready and chearful Obedience to their Commands for their diligence and care in performing what was appointed them c. Whereby they who do such things are encouraged and they who do not but are careless and negligent are punished and spurred up to amend their Faults But when such marks of Favour are bestowed 't is fit to let the rest know that if they do as well they also shall have a Reward By which means they will see that Virtue and Goodness are the things which their Parents love and esteem most and for which they are ready to bestow the marks of their Affection The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children A Third thing that belongs to the care of Parents is the outward Estate of their Children First When they are fit for a Trade they ought to chuse an honest Employment for them To suffer them to live in Idleness is to ruin them If they have not some useful thing or other to take up their thoughts they are in great hazard of finding somewhat to do which is bad and hurtful both to themselves and others The Devil is always at hand to furnish Occasions to idle People for employing themselves to their own destruction The Athenians who for a great while were reckoned amongst the wisest People in the World were so sensible of the necessity and importance of Childrens being bred up to some Lawful Trade and Employment that by their Laws they obliged them to maintain their Parents and to supply them in their old Age only upon this supposition that their Parents had been careful to teach them an honest Trade Otherwise by their Laws Children were not bound to provide for them Tho' this is not to be brought into Practice amongst Christians it being contrary to Christian Principles for Children upon any Pretence whatsoever to neglect their Parents in distress Yet this Example sheweth how great a Crime it was reckoned amongst the wiser Heathens for Parents not to breed up their Children to some honest Employment As to the particular kind of Employment wherein Children are to spend their days it is to be left to the discretion and prudence of Parents They are so to instruct and dispose the minds of their Children that they may be ready to be determined to any Trade or manner of Life that 's honest which their Parents think best and meetest for them to follow But yet a great regard is to be had to the particular Genius and Inclination of Children which ordinarily disposeth them more for one sort of Employment than another It will make them more diligent in learning their Trade when they have a delight in it Otherwise if they are put forth to a Trade against their minds they are more likely to neglect it or to break off from it Seldom do such Persons attain unto great Perfection in their Employment who follow it against the Grain As for those whose great and plentiful Estate in the World doth raise them above the necessity of putting forth their Children to a Trade they ought notwithstanding to be careful to bring them up not in Idleness and Vanity but in such Studies and Exercises as are most proper for them and which tend to make them serviceable in their Generation When God created Adam after his own Image and placed him in the Garden of Eden which no doubt was the most Honourable State that ever Man was in upon Earth yet he did not suffer him to live in Idleness He appointed him an Employment to wit to dress and keep the Garden The greater that Mens Possessions are they ought to be so much the more concerned in the right Education of their Children that so they may be made the more fit to Inherit their Wealth and Riches How much reason had the Philosopher Crates to say that if he might he would go up unto the highest place of the City and there bespeak the Citizens in this manner O Men what mean ye to be 〈◊〉 so much pains and so incessantly to busie your thoughts how to heap up Wealth and Riches and yet to take so little care of your Children to whom you are to leave all these things Upon which Plutarch hath this wise Reflection That such Parents are very like those Foolish People who have a great deal of care of their Shoe but none at all of their Foot Great and Rich Men therefore ought to be very careful that their Children be well Educated that they be instructed in useful Arts and Sciences which may not only afford Pleasure and Delight unto their minds but may be of use and advantage to them in their Conversation in the World Above all they ought to endeavour that their Childrens minds be possessed with a lively sense of Religion with sincere Love to God with a fervent Zeal for his Glory with a great delight in all those things which are truly Noble and Worthy which tend to the Honour of God and the Benefit of Mankind and with an utter abhorrence and detestation of all wicked Practices of Prophane and Atheistical Company and of every appearance of Evil they ought to train them up in useful and pious Actions and Designs which may be of Advantage to Church or State that so they may prove a Blessing to the World and Pillars of that Society to which they belong Great care ought to be taken to make them understand the Vanity of Riches and Honour the great uncertainty and mutability of the things of this World and the many Tentations and Vexations which attend a plentiful Estate and great Fortune Endeavour to make them sensible that no Earthly Enjoyments are capable to satisfie their desires that as the wise Man saith Eccles. 5. 10. He that loveth Silver shall not be satisfied with Silver nor he that loveth Abundance with Increase And that they are so far from satisfying the mind that they distract it and oftentimes fill it with greater uneasiness that they occasion Cares and Fears and Temptations and Sorrows Shew them likewise that these outward and perishing things add nothing of real worth unto them that a Hundred or a Thousand a Year cannot make them one whit either wiser or better that their Estates cannot keep off Sickness or Pain nor sad and sudden Accidents and that they cannot defend them so much as one moment from the approaches of the King of Terrors Shew them what was the Psalmist's Opinion of outward Greatness himself being one of the greatest Men of his time and therefore able to judge o◠the matter Surely says he Psal. 62 9. Men of high degree are a Lye to be laid in the Ballance they are altogether lighter than Vanity Grea◠Me◠are a Lye that is they are not either what their own Vanity would
Ecclesiasticus 33. 18 19 c. Hear me O ye great Men of the People and hearken with your Ears ye Rulers of the Congregation Give not thy Son and Wife thy Brother and Friend power over thee while thou livest and give not thy Goods to another lest it repent thee and thou intreat for the same again As long as thou livest and hast Breath in thee give not thy self over to any For better it is that thy Children should seek to thee than that thou shouldest stand to their Courtesie In all thy works keep to thy self the Preeminence leave not a stain in thine Honour At the time when thou shalt end thy days and finish thy Life distribute thy Inheritance 4 thly 'T is the Duty of Parents to have their Will and Testament in readiness They ought while they are in Health to determine the several Proportions of their Worldly Goods which they intend to bestow on their Children and not to leave the doing of this till the very immediate approach of Death A wise Man ought so to dispose of his affairs in time that when he comes to die he may have as little work to do as is possible 'T is very unfit on many accounts to leave the ordering of those things which relate to a Man's Estate unto the last hour For 1. No Man knows if he shall have a leisurely Passage out of the World so as to have time to settle his affairs a thousand Accidents may prevent this of which see Discourse about the right way of Improving our Time Motive 2 d. 2 dly Tho' you should have time on your Death-Bed for ordering your Temporal Affairs yet what signifies Time considered abstractly and separately if you are not fit to use it For ought you know your Sickness then may so affect your Head that you shall not be able to act any longer as rational Creatures but must be governed and taken care of by others as if you were Children upon the Breasts or perhaps as Persons in a much more sad and lamentable condition Now therefore it is fit for all who are wise to provide against such Casualties and not to delay so important and necessary a work to an uncertain Moment 3 dly Supposing you have a leisurely passage out of this Life together with the use of your Reason all the while yet consider that you are likely to have enough to do in your last hours tho' the ordering of your Temporal concerns do not then lie upon your Hands Your Spiritual Enemies will very probably at that time muster up all their Forces and use their utmost Effort either to conquer you or to frighten and disturb you You will then find that all your Preparation is little enough that you may finish your course with Joy The sight of Death will make you see a great many things far otherwise than you saw them in time of Health The things of this Life will then appear very little and inconsiderable and Eternity will appear as a vast and boundless Ocean Your good actions will appear but very few and imperfect and your Sins and Follies very many and great Thus it is generally with the best and most Holy Persons and therefore 't is your wisest and safest course to dispatch not only as much of your great Business as you can before the approach of Death but likewise to dispose of your Worldly Concerns in such a manner that they may not prove a hindrance and a burthen to you at that time when you are to have a sharp Conflict with the King of Terrors But besides all these Considerations which ought to excite you to put your House in order in time of your Health consider farther that by so doing you will prevent a great deal of Trouble and Confusion and of Strife and Division which oft-times happen amongst Children when their several Portions are not assigned them by the Will of their Parents How sad is it to reflect upon so many Instances of this kind as have happened in our days It cannot but be look'd upon as a great Reproach to our Holy Religion to see Brethren and other near Relations contending and going to Law with one another and thereby laying the Foundation of lasting Variance and Discord of Bitterness and Wrath of Anger and Clamour of Malice and Envy c. which too often are concluded with the Desolation and Destruction of one or other of the contending Parties if not of the whole Family How needful therefore is it for Parents to make their Will in good time when they are in Health when their Understanding is good when their Memory is perfect when they are able to think of Business and to judge calmly and discreetly of what they do when they can call to mind what they owe and what is owing to them And because of the great Falsehood and Wickedness of the World by which it often happens that the true sense of Mens words are perverted it is likewise very fit that Parents in setting their House in Order have the advice of those who are Skilful Upright and Faithful Persons by whose Assistance their Will may be framed in such Terms and Expressions as may so far as is possible prevent the Cavils of Crafty and Ungodly Men. As Parents ought to use a great deal of Caution and Circumspection in all things relating to their last Will so particularly in the choice of Guardians for their Children who after their own Decease may act the part of Parents towards them and may promote their Happiness and Welfare both in Temporal and Spiritual things If you know amongst your near Relations those who are Wise and Prudent True and Upright Persons who fear and love God and of whose sincere kindness you have had long experience 't is very reasonable to prefer them before Strangers But if you have found others more sincere and upright more prudent and discreet more kind and loving more constant in their Friendship and more faithful to your true Interest than your nearer Relations have been you ought rather to entrust your Children to their care than to those who tho' your Kinsmen have given you no great ground to expect much kindness and faithfulness at their hands towards your Children If they have not been very faithful to you 't is but madness to expect that they should prove more Faithful to them Tho' they may grow better yet no wise Man ought to trust so great and dear a concern to such an uncertainty Thus I have shewed you what are the principal Duties you owe to the Souls and Bodies of your Children and what you are to do for them as to their outward Estate The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents FRom what hath been said you may see what a weighty and difficult Charge you have the sense whereof should excite you to beg of God earnestly every day that he would direct and assist you to perform the Duties that belong
them they shall not return to you Now what a folly is it for Men to consume to disquiet and to torment themselves where it is to no purpose at all to do so And not only do you thereby no good at all to your selves but you do your selves a great deal of mischief and prejudice You provoke God to anger against you to bring upon you yet heavier and more grievous punishments and to deprive you of other Mercies and Comforts which you still enjoy You do thereby no small hurt to your Bodies you bring upon your selves very dangerous distempers which will make you unfit for the actions of Life and the Duties of your Calling You likewise do unspeakable mischief to your Souls you deprive your selves of that vigour and chearfulness of Spirit that is needful to make you fit to serve God acceptably You thereby weaken your Memory and darken and disorder your Reason and Understanding and so expose your selves to all the sad consequences of a disordered and distracted Mind Your Example does also a great deal of hurt to others Your impatience and immoderate sorrow and mourning teacheth others to do so upon the like occasion Hereby you bring no small reproach upon our holy Religion as if it were not sufficient to support and fortifie us against our crosses and afflictions and to comfort us amidst the uneasie things which God sees fit to exercise us with in this World What an excellent Example is David unto you in this matter When God struck his Child so that it was very sick he fasted and prayed but when the Child died he arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his apparel and câ—me unto the House of the Lord and worshipped Then he came to his own House and when he required they 〈◊〉 Bread before him and he did eat Then said his Servants unto him What thing is this that thou hast done Thou didst fast and weep for the Child while it was alive but when the Child was dead thou didst rise and eat Bread And he said While the Child was yet alive I fasted and wept for I said Who can tell whether God will be gracious unto me that the Child may live But now he is dead Wherefore should I fast Can I bring him again I shall go to him but he shall not return to me 2 Sam. 12. 15 16 c. Thus ought all Parents to do who fear God When the Lord layeth his hand upon your Children you ought to pray to God for them and to use all lawful means for their recovery But when he â—ees fit to take them away by death you ought patiently to submit to his Will This is your wisest course It is the way to make your selves happy and to enjoy comfort and satisfaction of mind under your crosses This is the likeliest and readiest way to obtain new Mercies and Favours from the Lord instead of those you are deprived of Thus you see the Lord dealt with Job Jam. 5. 11. Ye have heard of the patience of Job and have seen the end of the Lord That the Lord is very pitiful and of tender mercy And Job 42. 12 13. The Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning And vers 16 17. After this lived Job an hundred and forty years and saw his Sons and his Sons Sons even four Generations So Job dyed being old and full of days But if God see it more fit to withhold from you the blessings of the Womb and to bestow no more Children upon you he can and will make up this want with much greater and better Blessings What you want in Temporals you shall have in Spirituals As Elkanah said to Hannah 1 Sam. 1. 8. He will be better to you than ten Sons He will give you a Name better than of Sons and Daughters even an everlasting Name that shall not be cut off Isa. 56. 5. The Duty of Parents On their Death-Bed The shortness and great uncertainty of your Time ought to make you very careful while you are in Health to improve as well as you can the present opportunities of doing good to your Children both as to their Spiritual and Temporal concerns There can be no greater Folly than to delay the doing whatever is needful for your Childrens real Happiness and welfare meerly out of a vain Expectation of having time enough to do every thing of this kind when you lie upon your Death-Bed 'T is strange that Men who daily see the Casualties which others do meet with and who have power to consider the great Dangers their own Lives have been exposed to should notwithstanding flatter themselves with such Thoughts and be so far bewitched thereby as to neglect any Duty of Importance and Necessity which now they have sufficient opportunity to do And therefore while you are in Health fail not to do all the good you can to your Children both for their Souls and Bodies and for their outward Estate But if it shall please God to afford you time and leisure upon your Death-Bed to do any thing for their Benefit neglect not at such a time to do whatever your Weakness and Sickness will permit Particularly 1 st Give them your best Advice Direct them according to their Capacities Consider what their faults and defects most commonly have been and suggest to them such things as God shall bring into your mind to make them sensible of their faults and to rescue them from their evil Habits Consider what those things are whereby they are most likely to be endangered and strive to fortifie their Minds with such wholesom Precepts and Maxims as may tend to preserve them for the time to come Consider what good thing does appear in any of them and endeavour to stablish their Minds in Virtue and Goodness in the Fear and Love of God Amongst other things 't is 〈◊〉 to recommend to them Unity and Concord that they Love one another heartily and be ready to assist and serve one another to the utmost of their power that they be friendly Monitors to One another and take it kindly and thankfully when they are so deale with Then likewise you may advise them to endeavour as much as is possible to live peaceably with all Men to be careful not to wrong any body by Word or Deed but on the contrary to seek the welfare of others to strive to do all the good they can in the World and to make it as their necessary Food to glorifie God David's Example is worthy of the imitation of all Religious Parents at such a time of whom 't is said 1 King 2. 1 2 3 4. He charged Solomon his Son saying I go the way of all the Earth Be thou strong therefore and shew thy self a Man And keep the Charge of the Lord thy God to walk in his ways to keep his Statutes and his Commandments and his Judgments and his Testimonies as it is written in the
Law of Moses that thou mayest prosper in all that thou doest and whithersoever thou turnest thy self That the Lord may confirm his Word which he spake concerning me c. 2 dly Pray to God to bless them to sanctifie them and to preserve them that he would never leave them nor forsake them that he would be their God and Guide and their Portion for ever that he would possess them with his fear and keep them in his love and preserve them from sin and from all their Spiritual Enemies and that he would order all things for their good The fervent Prayer of a Righteous Man availeth much at all times but never more than when he is stepping into Eternity and going to his Heavenly Father Parents therefore at this time ought to be Importunate with God especially for Spiritual Blessings to their Children that he would grant them his Grace to walk in his ways and to keep his Commandments and that his kind Providence may be their Inheritance 3 dly It will be very fit at such a time to commend them to some of your Friends whom you have found true and faithful sincere and upright and kind and loving to you and yours This is especially needful to be done for those Children who are less able to look to themselves 'T will be of unspeakable Advantage to them in many respects to be directed and assisted by those who are their true Friends who by their counsel and advice and by doing other good Offices for them will be as Eyes and Hands and Feet unto them and will prove a defence unto them against a great deal of danger and mischief till such time as they are capable to mind their own Business and are fixt and settled in the World HAving discoursed of the Duties of Natural Parents 't will not be amiss to say somewhat concerning the Duty of those who are in the place of Parents such as Step-Fathers and Step-Mothers or Fathers and Mothers in Law and Guardians And first Concerning the Duties of Step-Fathers and Step-Mothers The first and chief thing which belongs to the care of Step-Parents is to do all that they can for the benefit of their Childrens Souls They ought to endeavour to season their tender minds with the Fear and Love of God to reform what is amiss in their temper and humour by all kind and prudent Methods to teach them to worship God to Remember their Creator in the days of their Youth They ought to see that they be taught to read that they spend the Lord's Day well and that they frequent the place of Publick Worship They ought to make them understand what was promised in their Name at their Baptism and to encourage them to renew their Baptismal Covenant if they have an opportunity They ought to advise them to come to the Lord's Table so soon as they are fit for it and then as also at other times to examine themselves and to call themselves to a strict and serious account They ought to observe what remarkable Mercies and Providences they meet with and to acquaint them therewith so soon as they are capable to reflect on such things They ought likewise to talk to them often of the various Providences which either they have met with themselves or which they have observed in the World that thereby the Childrens minds may be affected with a due sense of the Power the Greatness the Wisdom the Mercy and the Justice of God To render all which endeavours effectual they must be Examples of Piety to them They must see what Company they use and do what they can to keep them out of ill Company and to acquaint them with those who have a sense of good things They must reprove them when it is needful but with great mildness and discretion And as for correcting and chastening of them they ought to leave that part to the Natural Parent if alive but if the Natural Parent be dead then they may correct them when it is necessary according to their Age But in this great caution ought to be used they must do it with the greatest gentleness and tenderness that is possible not only out of Conscience but Prudence to prevent all occasion which a great many are apt to take to reflect upon them and to censure them severely and unjustly when they do any thing that looks like unkindness or sharpness to their Step-Children 'T is therefore very adviseable when Correction is necessary to acquaint some of the Childrens Relations if they be not at too great a distance with their fault and so to correct them by their advice and if possible in their presence that they may be as it were Witnesses of their doing nothing but what is absolutely fit and needful to be done for the advantage of the Children Step-Parents ought also to take the opportunity of their Childrens sickness or of any other Adversity they meet with to set home upon their minds such Admonitions and Counsels as they were not so apt to mind when they were in health And to all their other Endeavours they ought to joyn their daily prayers to God for them that he would bless them and make them his faithful and obedient Children and Servants As Step-Parents ought principally to take care of the Souls of their Step-Children so they must not neglect their Bodies Their Duty as to this is in a word to take care that they have necessary and convenient Food and Rayment As to the outward Estate of Step-Children tho' Parents are not obliged to give them any great Portion of their Worldly Goods especially if they have or are like to have Children of their own to give such things to yet they ought to be careful that the Portions which of right belong to their Step-Children be preserved and improved for their use and advantage according to the Will of the Deceased Parent When they are fit for a Trade or any honest way of getting their Livelyhood they ought to assist them all they can that they may be placed forth as happily and comfortably as may be In like manner when they are fit for Marriage they ought to express a great deal of readiness and chearfulness to serve them to the utmost of their Power they ought to assist them with their best advice and hearty Counsel in a matter of so great Importance And in a word they ought not to be wanting to them in any thing that may be useful and beneficial to them either as to their Souls or Bodies or as to their outward Concerns Some Motives to stir up Step-Parents to do these things It cannot but excite Step-Parents to perform the above-mentioned Duties for the Benefit of their Children both in their Spiritual and Temporal concerns if they seriously consider 1 st The Nature of their Marriage Relation whereby they become one Flesh with those to whom they are married When God made the Woman and brought her to the Man Gen.
2. 24. he said Therefore shall a Man leave his Father and Mother and cleave unto his Wife and they shall be one Flesh. Now by Virtue of this near Relation and close Union they ought to have a tender regard for the Interests and Concerns of one another and the dearer any thing is to the one the greater affection ought the other to have towards it As therefore 't is past all doubt that Children are the dearest and most valued and beloved Earthly thing that Natural Parents have upon this account it is very reasonable that Step-Parents should express a great Regard and Affection for them 2. This is the way to preserve and to increase that mutual Love which ought to be 'twixt Man and Wife If a Step-Parent is kind and loving to the Children and careful to promote their Happiness and Welfare it cannot but have an Influence on the Natural Parent so as to produce an Increase of Love and Respect which will render the lives of the married Persons very easie and comfortable Whereas on the other hand if Step-Parents are rough unkind and unnatural to their Step-Children it must needs cause a great deal of mischief it will certainly cool if not quite alienate the affection of the Natural Parent and when once this happens there is thenceforth nothing but strife and contention jealousies and suspicions which are ordinarily attended with very sad and dreadful effects to the utter Ruin of one or t'other Party if not of both 3. This is the way to make the Children very respectful and kind and very dutiful and obedient to them when they use them kindly are careful to seek their happiness and welfare and carry themselves towards them in all respects as they ought to do Whereas on the contrary by being unkind to them and unconcerned for their happiness and welfare they provoke them to hate them and to prove Disrespectful and Disobedient to them 4. This is the way to gain a great deal of Love and Respect from all those who are Related to the Deceased Parents who cannot chuse but resent it very kindly when they see the Children of their Friends well used and taken care of both as to their Souls and Bodies This will make them ready upon all occasions to serve them and to do them the best Offices which are in their power Whereas on the other hand if they see the poor Children of their Deceased Friends neglected and contemned wrong'd and abus'd by unkind Step-Parents they must needs take it in very ill part and resent it heavily yea and all other Persons who see or hear of such unkindness severity and injustice towards poor Children cannot chuse but think very ill of those who discover themselves to be altogether void not only of Religion but of Humanity also From what hath been said it appears how very just and reasonable it is for Step-Parents to be heartily concerned both for the Spiritual and Temporal welfare and happiness of their Children And therefore how much are they to be Condemned who make no Conscience at all of doing any thing for the benefit of either their Souls or Bodies As to their Souls some Step-Parents are so far from endeavouring to season them with good Impressions and to fortifie them against Tentations that they themselves are their greatest Tentation and do them the greatest hurt and prejudice As to their Bodies they grudge them necessary Food and Rayment and seldom let them have any thing with good will And as to their Outward Estate they are so far from improving for their Advantage the Portion of Worldly Goods that belongeth to them that on the contrary they use their utmost Policy to rob them and to disinherit them that they may build their own Childrens Fortune upon the others Ruin for which end they make it their business to alienate the Affection of their Natural Parent they invent a great many wicked and malicious Stories which with great boldness and impudence they fasten upon them and they never give over working and undermining till they have brought about their cruel and cursed Devices But surely he that sits in Heaven and beholds all their contrivances even he who is the God of Recompences will in due time bring to Light their hidden Works of Darkness and will vindicate the cause of those poor Children and render to their cruel Persecutors according to their Works he will fooner or later cause them to feel the heavy Load of his Just and Terrible Indignation The Duties of Guardians GUardians are either chosen by Parents before their Death or by Children themselves after their Parents Decease or by the Magistrate Which way soever they are chosen their Duty is to do what they can for the benefit and advantage of their Pupils both in Spiritual and Temporal Things As to their Souls they must take care of their good Education according to their Age and Capacity If they are not as yet taught to read they ought to make choice of a skilful and prudent Schoolmaster or Tutor for them of whose fitness for such a Charge they are well assured But they must not so intrust them to the Care of such Persons as never to mind them more themselves They ought to enquire after them now and then and either by themselves or others more fit for it make tryal of their proficiency that so they may be able to judge and resolve what is further to be done for them As for the way of training them up in true Piety the Directions given to Parents are to be observed and practised As to their Bodies the former Directions likewise to Parents concerning Childrens Diet and Apparel ought to be followed As to their outward Estate when they are fit for a Trade or some sort of business they ought to take care to settle them in good Company so far as is possible and in such a way of living as is most agreeable to their Genius and Inclination and which their Friends and Relations reckon most sutable and convenient for them It will afford great peace and satisfaction to Guardians whatever be the Event if in this matter they have a due regard to Childrens own Inclination and to the Opinion of their Friends and Relations As to their Marriage when it is time to dispose of them that way they onght to do nothing by force and violence They must not constrain them to Marry unless they have a mind themselves And tho' they are not bound absolutely to approve of those whom their Pupils fancy without any regard to their fitness yet they are obliged by the Law of Justice and Equity not to impose upon them such Matches as they cannot like As to their Patrimony and Inheritance they ought to improve it as much as may be for the Childrens good and to employ it wholly for their use except so far as the Law does allow them their necessary Charges in which they ought to govern themselves by that Golden-Rule Mat.
7. 12. All things whatsoever ye would that Men should do to you do ye even so to them Some Motives to excite Guardians to do these Things The first thing which should stir up Guardians to perform their Duty towards their Pupils is A Sense of Justice When they are chosen for this End if they have no mind to undertake such a Charge or if they cannot attend it they ought to declare so much and peremptorily to refuse it that so care may be taken to get some other Body who will undertake it But when once they have undertaken it they ought to make Conscience of it and to do all that is in their power for the Childrens welfare and happiness in every thing 'T is both their Duty and Interest to fulfill their Ingagement and to act that part which they have undertaken which if they perform wisely and faithfully then they may expect the Praise Love and Esteem of not only the Children themselves and of their Relations but likewise of all good and worthy Persons who see or hear of their Fidelity and Carefulness for the benefit of their Pupils If Care is not taken in this manner to fulfill what is undertaken to be done and if there is no respect had to Covenants Trusts and Ingagements then the very Foundation of the Happiness of Society is subverted If there is no regard to Truth and Justice what a miserable thing must it be to live in Society To be united by any civil â—yes to those whose Promises and Ingagements are worse than none at all 2. Does not A Sense of Honour oblige Guardians to be careful of their Pupils and true and faithful to them 'T was the Opinion of their kindness and faithfulness and of their fitness and worthiness for such a Charge which made them be chosen before others And therefore if they have any thing in them of true worth if they have any sense of Honour they must needs strive to answer the Expectation of those who have testified so great a value and esteem for them 3 dly Does not Charity oblige Guardians to do these things Orphans have always been reckoned amongst the greatest Objects of Charity especially when they are very Young and are not able either in respect of Body or Mind to do any thing for themselves So great is God's Compassion and Tenderness towards such Children that he has been Graciously pleased to declare himself to be The Father of the Fatherless 'T is therefore the Duty of All who are Followers of God as dear Children especially of those who are chosen to perform so Charitable an Office as this I say it is their Duty to omit nothing that is needful to be done for the benefit of Fatherless Children both in their Spiritual and Temporal concerns We see a very worthy President and Example in Mordecai Esth. 2. Esther's Father and Mother being dead Mordecai took her and she was to him as his own Daughter How careful was he both of her Soul and Body How well did he instruct her As may be easily gathered from her Wise and Pious Carriage and Behaviour And when she was taken from him we find he was still mindful of her for v. 11. 't is said Mordecai walked every day before the Court of the Womens House to know how Esther did and what should become of her We find him likewise from time to time giving her his best Advice how to carry her self and how to glorifie God in that Honourable State to which it had pleased him to raise her How worthy is such an excellent Pattern as this of the imitation of all those who are called to be the Guardians the Guides and Defenders of Fatherless Children And for their encouragement let them consider how richly God did reward the Charity and Piety of Mordecai not only in raising him up to great Honour by Esthers means but also by making her the Instrument of preserving his Life and the Lives of all the Jews who were in the Provinces belonging to Ahasuerus From what hath been said it appears how great Reason there is for Guardians to be true and faithful to the Interests of their Pupils and to do all that ever they can for their Spiritual and Temporal Advantage Now if it be their Duty to do so what shall be said of those who are not only careless of seeking their good but do likewise too successfully seek their hurt and ruine As to their Souls they corrupt and poyson them by their wicked Example and by Atheistical Principles which they instill into them they breed them up in all manner of Licentiousness As to their Bodies they either too far gratifie their vanity and folly or they are too niggardly towards them in withholding from them not only Conveniencies but Necessaries As to their outward Estate they either suffer them to live idly or they put them forth to some Trade or other very unfit and unsutable to them And when they are fit for Marriage they force them to Marry as they think good according as they see it will best serve their own private and worldly base and vile Interests without ever regarding the Happiness of their Pupils As for their Patrimony and Inheritance they are so far from improving it that they impair it wofully and sometimes quite consume and waste it they study a great many Arts and Wiles to ruine the poor Children whom they have got into their merciless hands Instead of proving their Guardians they prove their Robbers instead of being as Parents to them they prove betrayers of them and their most Dangerous and Cruel Enemies But shall they escape who do such things No They shall not He who is the helper of the Fatherless will plead their Cause and will avenge them of those Treacherous and Perfidious Persons For He beholdeth mischief to requite it Ps. 10. 14. I shall conclude this Advice with what is written Ex. 22. 22. c. Ye shall not afflict any fatherless Child If thou afflict them in any wise and they cry at all unto me I will surely hear their cry And my wrath shall wax hot and I will kill you with the Sword And your Wives shall be Widows and your Children Fatherless And Prov. 23. 10 11. Enter not into the fields of the Fatherless for their Redeemer is mighty He shall plead their Cause with thee PRAYERS FOR FAMILIES A Morning Prayer for Parents or Masters of Families with their Family O Most Gracious and Merciful Lord God who affords us thy unworthy Servants the Honour and Liberty of drawing near unto thee Assist us by thy good Spirit to Worship thee with sincere Devotion to lift up Holy Hands without wrath and doubting We acknowledge O Lord we deserve not to appear in thy sight for we are not only Vile and Sinful by Nature being the corrupt Posterity of Sinful Parents but likewise we are Guilty of a great many actual Transgressions in our Thoughts Words and Deeds
whereby we have provoked thee to Wrath against us We have not only sinned through Ignorance but have sinned also against Knowledge we have acted contrary to that light which thou hast made to shine upon us We have been very Inconstant in good Purposes and Resolutions We have often confessed our Sins and yet soon after returned to them O Lord have Mercy upon us and forgive us all our Sins for Jesus Christ's sake Thou who knowest the Deceitfulness and desperate Wickedness of our Hearts make us what thou requirest us to be put thy Spirit within us and cause us to walk in thy Statutes and to keep thy Judgments and do them Give us unfeigned Repentance for all our past Offences Work in us strong Resolutions to observe thy Laws for the time to come Make us Watchful and Circumspect in all our Words and Actions Lord watch thou over us for good and never leave us nor forsake us Make us sensible of thy Power and Faithfulness that we may put our Trust and Confidence in thee Acquaint us more and more with our own Hearts and Lives that the sense of our Weakness and Folly of our manifold and great Sins may make us very humble and careful to avoid those Temptations which do so often and easily prevail over us Fortifie us with great Measures of Meekness and Patience That we may bear and endure all those uneasie things which thou seest fit to exercise us with Possess us with a lively sense of thy wise and just Providence that in all things which befall us we may say Good is the Word of the Lord. Save us from the Immoderate Love of all Earthly things from all vain Hopes and groundless Fears Make us content and thankful in every condition of Life Faithful and Just in all our Dealings careful to do to others what we would have them do to us And as much as in us lieth to live peaceably with all Men. Set a Watch before our Lips that we offend not with our Tongues save us from Lying and Slandering from Foolish Talking and Sinful Jesting and from all manner of Corrupt Communication And grant that our words being seasoned with Salt may Minister Grace to the Hearers Keep us mindful of thy all-seeing Eye that we may be in thy Fear all the day long that whether we eat or drink or whatever else we do we may do all to thy Glory Lord be Merciful to the many Nations which sit in Darkness send the Light of the Gospel unto them Grant that all they upon whom this Glorious Light does shine may walk as Children of the Light and of the Day that they may put off the Works of Darkness and put on the Armour of Light Bless all Rulers and Governours make them wise and good just and merciful Let it be their chiefest care to encourage Piety and to restrain whatever is dishonourable to thee the King of Kings and Lord of Lords Have mercy on these sinful Lands Bless and preserve our King and Queen and all the Royal Family Direct our Judges and Magistrates Sanctifie and assist all thy Ministers Be gracious to all our Friends every where and forgive those who wrong us by word or deed Let thy Blessing be on this Family Bless our Children make them thy Children put thy Fear within them Grant that as they grow in Years they may grow in Grace shed abroad thy Love in their Hearts that they may never depart from thee save them from every evil thing Be favourable O Lord to all others for whom we are bound to pray on any account whatsoever Bless them and us in our Souls and Bodies and in all our Affairs and Concerns We give thee our Hearty Thanks for preserving us and watching over us and our Habitation the last night for affording us quiet Repose and for raising us up in Health and Safety this Morning Be with us this Day Assist and direct us in all our ways Give thy Angels charge concerning us Lord make us ready to leave this vain World Let the sense of our Frailty stir us up to redeem our time and to give all dilligence to make our Calling and Election sure Grant that this day we may do somewhat worthy of Christians for thy Glory the Advantage of others and our own Everlasting Happiness and Comfort Let it be our constant Study and Endeavour to follow the Example of our Blessed Saviour who went about doing good In whose most Blessed Name and Words we conclude our Prayers Our Father c. An Evening Prayer for Parents or Masters of Families with their Family O Lord our God what shall we render unto thee for the many and great Favours which thou hast been pleased from Time to Time to bestow upon us We bless thee for giving us a Being for making us reasonable Creatures capable to know and love thee and to live for ever with thee for preserving us in the World and for affording us all things needful for our Support and Comfort But above all we bless thee for thy Love in Christ Jesus whom thou hast sent into the World to visit us to make his abode among us to dye for us That he might wash us from our Sins in his Blood Lord what is Man that thou art mindful of him or the Son of Man that thou doest in this gracious manner visit him Tho' thou hast bestowed innumerable Mercies upon us and hast visited us with this great Salvation yet we have been very unthankful and undutiful to thee We have abused thy Goodness and turned thy Grace into wantonness We have set at naught thy Counsels and despised thy Reproofs we have trampled under foot the Blood of our Saviour we have quenched the motions of thy good Spirit we have refused to obey thy Commands and to follow thy kind and gracious Invitations we have not regarded thy Promises nor been afraid of thy Threatnings we have been too often led by the sinful Examples and Manners of the World we have in many Things gratified our Lusts and Rassions We have drawn near to thee with our Mouth and Honoured thee with our Lips when our Hearts have been far from thee we have promised our selves Peace and Safety in the broad way that leads to Destruction O Lord We have destroyed our selves but in thee is our Help Our only Hopes are in thy infinite Mercy who hast hitherto spared us notwithstanding our manifold and crying Provocations Most Gracious God have Mercy upon us For Jesus Christ's sake pardon us all our sinful Thoughts Words and Deeds Renew and Sanctifie us by thy Holy Spirit that henceforth we may live thy faithful Servants and may be always ready to do or to endure whatever is thy Holy Will and Pleasure Thou knowest our Weakness and Inconstancy let thy Grace continually prevent and follow us that we may abhor that which is Evil and cleave to that which is Good Make us Faithful unto Death that at last we may obtain the Crown of