I where the head of us all is and where we enjoy the light of his most blessed face I would not live if I might again no not for the love of thee I have no such affection to thy society once most dear unto me that I would exchange my present company to hold commerce with thee But do thou rather come hither as soon as thou canst And bid thy friends that they mourn not for thee when thou dyest unless they would wish thee to be miserable again If we should have such a short converse with one of our acquaintance what should we think what should we say Should we fall a mourning and crying again would it open a new sluce for our tears to flow out would we pray him to go to heaven no more but stay with us would we entreate him to beg of God that he might come and comfort us If not then let us be well content unless we can give a better reason for our tears then our love to him Holcoth reports of a learned man In 4. sap v. 7. that was found dead in his Study with a Book before him A friend of his was exceedingly amazed at this sight when he first came into the room But when he looked a little further he found his fore-finger pointing at this place in the book of Wisdom c. 4. v. 7. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Though the just be prevented with death yet shall he be in rest And when he observed this he was as much comforted as he was before dejected We have no reason to lament them who are made immortal and that live with God If we respect them only we should carry them forth as the Aegyptians did the great Prophet of Isis when he dyed Heliod l. 7. Aethiop not with howlings and sorrow but with hymns and joy as being made an heir 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 with our Betters and gone to possess most glorious things The truth of it is if it were rational love to him that expresseth these tears then we should not begin them so soon nor make such a noise and cry when men are a dying For the sad countenances and the miserable lamentations wherewith we encompass sick mens beds make death seem more frightful to them then it is in it self What misery am I falling into may a man think that causes them to make such a moan What is this death that makes even them look so ghastly who are not like to die What a mischief is it to leave so many sad hearts behind me and to go my self it should seem by them to some sad and dismal place also I tell you a dying man had need have a double courage to look both death and them in the faces or else their indiscreet shrikes and lamentations will make a poor soul fall into such dark and cloudy thoughts Nor for our own sakes that are alive Men are fain therefore to say that it is indeed love to themselves that forces them thus to bemoan the death of their friends But what are you that cannot be contented one should be made much better by making of you a little worse Is this the great love you pretend to your friend that you are sorry he is gone to heaven are you a friend that look more at your own small benefit then at his great gain Was he not much beholden to you for your love that would have had him lived till you were dead that he might have been as miserable in mourning for you as you think now your selves to be But what is it I beseech you that you thus bemoan your selves for because that you are now miserable No it seems that you are not miserable enough and that makes you weep so much If you had some greater trouble befaln you that would put all your friends out of your mind If you were sick or in pains or had lost all your goods these things could take your mind off from this loss why then cannot the enjoyment of them When Joab did but threaten David that they all would leave him 2 Sam. 19.7 unless he would be comforted then he could wipe his face and appear in publick as a man well pleased Fear of losing his Kingdom put away the grief for the loss of his son And therefore let us not speak of our being miserable by this loss for at last we find it is not so Yea I must tell you that it is not meer self-love that begets these tears For suppose this person to have been at a great distance from us for some years Did we weep and mourn because he was not with us did not the meer thoughts that he lived comfort us was he not as good as dead when we neither saw nor felt nor heard him What help could he afford us at that distance and did we account our selves miserable all that time we are now as we were then in all things the same but only in the knowledge that he is dead But was he not dead as to us before did he do any thing for us at that time that he doth not now Let us be quiet then for the truth is it is not love to him nor love to our selves that makes us sometimes weep but a meer natural affection that stirs within us i. e. Men mourn oft-times they know not why but only it is natural so to do They think they are not as they were before They feel that there is something wanting as they imagine It is a thing of long acquaintance perhaps and so nature is loth to part with it Get a new nature then and that will mend all And yet it is not meer natural affection neither that makes us sad For we our selves shall soon forget it but the freshness and the presence of the object of our sadness Time will make us forget it or if our parents had dyed a little after we were born we should never have wept when we came of age to think that they were departed It is no hard matter then for a considerate person to cease his grief seeing it depends upon such small causes And if any one shall say that it is love to the good of the world that makes him mourn for the loss of an useful person He hath reason to rejoyce that he loves the good of men so much For then he will labour to do much good in the world himself and he will perswade all the friends he hath remaining that they would do all the good they can and repair that loss II. But let me further ask you Was thy friend Gods friend also Our friends if Good are not lost or was he not If he was the friend of God as well as a friend of thine why should not he have his company rather then thou If he was not Gods friend then he could not be thine neither No man can love us aright that doth not love God and if he do love God
THE HEARTS EASE OR A Remedy against all Troubles To which is added a Consolatory Discourse against the loss of our Friends and those that are dear unto us By Symon Patrick B. D. Minister of Gods Word at Batersea in Surrey PSALM 94.19 In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul M. Antoninus 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Happiness lyes in a very few things LONDON Printed by R. W. for Francis Tyton at the three Daggers in Fleetstreet neer the Inner Temple-gate 1660. To the Honourable Sr. Walter St. John Baronet and the Lady Johanna St. John his Wife The Author wisheth all the blessings of this life and that which is to come THE first occasion of these meditations upon these words of our Saviour to his Disciples John 14.1 is known only to my self and another person whose contentment I exceedingly desired But the occasion of their publication is known to more then your selves for whose use they were first transcribed a good while ago which I will not trouble the world so much as to take an account of For it will believe its like that it comes from my own proper motion and inclination to send them abroad and the ordinary reason from the importunity of friends can be understood by none but those who know that a friend can do more with us then we our selves But the reason why they address themselves to you is known best to my self For though you might know it if you pleased yet your goodness teaches you to forget the many obligations you laid upon me which I ought alwayes to remember So many they are that when I think how to discharge them it puts me in mind that there is one sort of trouble which I have made no provision against in this Treatise which is for want of ability both to pay what we owe to those that love us and also to express the sense which we have of their goodness But I consider that this is such a pleasing sort of trouble that one would not be willing that it should be cured We have no reason to find fault that our friends will do us more good then we deserve nor to complain that their goodness is greater then we can speak of And that ought not I know to be the occasion of my trouble which is your singular pleasure aad contentment And if this kind of acknowledgement will acquit me in any sort of ingratitude I am but beginning to discharge and exonerate my self For I had designed before the publishing of this was thought of to put a Treatise of another nature into your hands But I am well secured that I shall not trouble you by beginning my addresses to you with a discourse of troubles as if I did bode some evil to you because I believe that you desire rather to be prepared against any crosses then to have none befall you I confess I discern some defects in the first part of this Treatise which if I had penned with an intention to have sent abroad I think that I should have taken some care to have seen supplied But it will not be the less aceptable to you who are able I know out of the general truths here propounded to raise such principles as will be able to give you satisfaction in particular cases not here named Yet presuming that you will not be weary of reading any thing that comes from the hand of one whom you love so well I shall here take the liberty to instance in some things which would have deserved some particular consideration There is no greater trouble to some ingenuous souls then to be requited with injuries for the kindnesses they have done to others But they may soon consider that this befell our Master Jesus Christ himself And though it be in their power to do good to others yet it belongs not to them to make them good And if there be any way to beget love in them it is by love and there is no small contentment in loving those who have no love for us For this is the very height of love and love it self is a thing so sweet that it is its own reward But some perhaps have this addition of trouble that their own friends do not love them and those whom God and nature do command to be kind are ill affected towards them The same remedy will cure this disease And let them turn their love into pitty that any should be so unhappy as to be strangers to the rarest pleasures in the world which arise from loving of others And you may see from hence the necessity of one Rule which I have commended which is not to hope for any thing here below And particularly remember this that you may be disappointed if you look for any more satisfaction from your children then the pleasure of doing good to them and seeing them do good to themselves For the old saying hath had but few hitherto to cross it That love like your inheritances doth descend but useth not to ascend But there are others that may say they could easily brook any sufferings from others but that commonly it is the lot of those that suffer to be thought guilty of those crimes for which they innocently suffer Quae perferunt meruisse creduntur The world is so sottish that they commonly think men deserve that which they indure and we are deprived many times not only of our enjoyments but likewise of our fame and we are denyed not only our security but likewise all apology for our selves But who can keep the world from thinking what they please Who knows not that it sees but with half an eye if it be not stark blind And what shall we be the better if they think well of us seeing what they think either one way or other is with so little reason If we deserve not well their thoughts and speeches can do us no good and if we do God will take care that they shall do us no harm But there is a little number of good souls perhaps who are troubled for what others suffer and are afflicted with the misery of their neighbours There are so few that complain of this grief and it is a malady that men are so seldom sick of that I should scarce have thought it needfull to have prescribed any Physick for such a rare disease If the hurt do not touch us in our own bodies relations or friends we shall soon find comfort enough without any direction to alleviate the grief which we sustain for others how heavy soever it may happen to be But if any be oppressed with this sort of trouble Let them consider what is said in the ensuing Treatise that they do others no good but themselves harm by being troubled And therefore let-them be sensible of their miseries so far only as to pray for them and relieve them if they can and to make their hearts sensible of Gods mercies to them that by that joy
by our prudence and observation and taking those occasions which are offered us and Gods grace assisting of us It is not in our power alwayes to be in health or to be rich c. but when sickness or poverty comes we can make a good use of it and turn it into health and riches otherwayes 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Plutarch de tranquill The life of man saith Plato is like to a game at Tables wherein two things are considerable the one within our power and the other without The chance is not in us but to play it well is When we cannot have a good cast it remains that by our skill and art we make a bad one good Si illud quod est maxime opus jactu non cadit illud quod cecidit fortè id arte ut corrigas Terent. What shall fall out is not within us to chuse but to mannage and improve that which happens and turn it to our advantage by the goodness and the grace of God is within our selves and nothing that is without us can intermeddle or be an impediment to us in it Zeno I remember having lost all his goods by shipwrack sought for no Port but Athens and betook himself from merchandize to the study of Philosophie and so he revenged himself on Fortune as he called it by becoming a Scholar and an honest man crying out Jam benè navigavi cùm naufragium feci Now I made a good voyage when I lost all Such a story Nicephorus tells us of one Cyrus a Courtier in the time of Theodosius the younger who through the envious accusations of some favourites being spoiled of his goods of a Pagan he became a Christian and of a Christian a Priest of God and at last attained the degree of a Bishop So true is that which a holy Father said Those things are good Bona sunt ista unde facias benè non quae te faciunt bonum c. August Conc. 236. not which can make thee good but by which thou maist do good not which can do good but by which good may be done i. e. all things are as we use them and even prosperity cannot do us good of it self but we may use it to our good Just so I may be bold to say of adversity it can do us no harm but we make it do us harm it is not an evil that can make us evil but by which we may do evil There is reason then we should be of good cheer since things are as we please We need not be troubled since what befals us to our cross may serve a better end then that which we pursued If we be made better men more holy and severe in our lives more certain of heaven and more desirous to be there if we learn to know the world better to place less confidence in it and to expect nothing from it then there is no reason that we should accuse our Fortune For who is a loser that parts with a friend and gets God for his Father and commits himself to his providence That loses a Husband or a Wife and dwels for ever after in the arms of God and is enflamed with a greater love of heavenly things The world perhaps doth not love us have we not reason to thank it if it make us to place our comfort and contentment in God and a pure conscience They are unkind whom we have most obliged but we repent not that we have done such ungrateful persons good we still love them and lay up hereafter our hopes and expectation above and then when we cast up our accounts we find that we are gainers by them Thus in all cases we may say as he did O happy Providence my good Master 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that teaches me better then I could do my self who not only invites me but compels me unto vertue Now I am well because I was ill I have lost one thing and gained many God vertue and my self I have not what I desired but I have what I ought to have desired Another hath done for me that which I should have done my self Trouble makes every sad accident a double evil and contentedness makes it none at all If we will it can do us no harm if we give way to it we also wound our selves and joyn with it to make our selves miserable There is a perfect Embleme of our folly in the story of a simple rustick who going home out of the field laid the plough upon the Asses back and then got up himself also and observing the poor beast to be oppressed could find no better way to ease her but by laying the plough upon his own shoulder so loading himself and not at all alleviating her of her burden Our bodies are compared by the Ancients to the beast 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the mind they call the man the Soul is our self When the body is oppressed with many miseries by cares and grief we think to ease it when as alas we take not the loads off from it but only lay them upon our selves The same burden remains upon the poor beast and the man also bears it upon his back Like a Bird in the lime-twigs the more we flutter the more we are entangled and that which was but a single mischief before by our own follies becomes two or a great many But if we stir not at all but be quiet and still then we are what we were before this evill came only our souls have the addition of the greatest joy and pleasure by the victory we have obtained For it hath no small effect upon our souls that we can be joyful when there is matter of sorrow and that we can overcome the world and depend upon nothing for our happiness but God and our own souls Let us not sin then against reason as well as God Providence and Religion nor make our selves more miserable then we need be When we lose our estates let us not lose our constancy and our cheerfulness too if thou hast lost thy health do not lose thy patience also if thou must die a little sooner then thou thoughtest do not die unwillingly if thou hast no friend be not also thine own enemy if others vex thee do not also vex thy self if thou be ill to day be not also solicitous for to morrow Mat. 6. ult sufficient for the day is the evil thereof which are almost the very words of Ben Syra who gives this reason against such vexatious thoughts Perhaps to morrow shall not be and so thou afflictest thy self for that which nothing belongs to thee We multiply our evils by our trouble and bring those upon our selves which perhaps were never intended for our portion But our quietness disappoints the enemy and will weary him in his assaults when he sees that we do but grow better by what befalls us and turn it into victory and triumph So a wise man
the preservation and continuance of it some way or other It is in vain likewise as I touched before in their opinion to be troubled Confilium ejus est qui nullum habet consilium and patience is his remedy who hath no remedy else It is also to be considered That it is no great proof of vertue not to trouble others but this is excellent quietly to bear the trouble they give to us CAP. IV. THese and such like Arguments I shall dismiss and proceed rather unto the second general part of my discourse which I propounded The rules we should observe to preserve us from trouble which I shall lay down after I have premised these two things 1. Let us seek for them in their right place where they are to be found And then 2. Let us firmly settle our selves upon such principles else we shall alwayes be shaking For the first that we may find out the truest rules for the obtaining peace and quiet let us resolve that Evil is not so much in things as in our selves and if the evil which disquiets us be not in outward things neither is the good which must give us rest to be found in them All unquietness arises from the mind and a plaister applyed to the stomach will as soon cure a wounded conscience as riches or any thing in the world heal a discontented mind All the earth quakes and shakings are begot within our own bowels and proceed not from the winds which blow without This therefore is the first thing we must do get acquaintance with our own hearts see the cause of all our grief for nothing will heal us without our selves Our Saviour seems to intimate this truth to us in that phrase in the Gospel Joh. 11.33 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 he troubled himself as the margent hath it which some think signifies the perfection of our Saviour that nothing could trouble him but it also shews whence properly trouble arises viz. from the motion of mans own spirit which our Saviour could compose but now he groaned even to the troubling and disturbing of himself For want of this easie observation it is that men labour for peace at endless expences both of pains money and time yet never purchase it Some seek for it in Company and cheerful society which they think can put away the melancholy but still they raind not that they carry the disease about them which cannot so be cured Others seek for it in a contrary way of a solitary life by quitting the affairs of the world and retiring from all company into a Closet but all this while they retire not into themselves and the evil spirit which is in them is not yet cast out So while they thought they had ended their trouble they did but change it while they shake off all they are disquieted because they have not shaken off themselves Their own foolish opinions appetites passions and desires remain unmortified and though they should never see man they will be vexation enough to themselves Others seek for it in travel and seeing forreign parts but this will not effect the business neither as long as they have themselves in company Motion will but stir and enrage the humor and make it more turbulent and unquiet Others leave off some evil practices which they find do disturb them but as long as the body of sin is remaining they are not setled Nam luctata Canis nodum arripit c. Pers sat 5. They are like the Dog who breaks his chain but a great part of it still he trails after him They retain their antient love and affection and so are the same men though they do not the same things And as some one I remember saith He that retires out of the world and thinks thereby to be at peace but yet desires the fame or the glory of the world or any thing else that is in it he hath only his arm and his legs out of it his heart and his mind is still in it Here therefore we must begin as I said in the mortification of our selves If we be not quieted within every thing in the world will make us miserable if we be then nothing can harm us If our false opinions unreasonable desires fond affection ungrounded hope c. be alive we are no longer quiet then the world pleaseth Our peace is at the mercy of every report of every mans mouth and all the several accidents of evil that are in the world If we be sick and are afraid to die if we be in pain and have no patience if we be scorned and are proud if we be lessened in our estates and are covetous c. then nothing can help us from being miserable but on the contrary if we do not fear death so much as an ill life if we think impatience and murmuring a worse disease then the Gout if we think pride to be the greatest reproach and the highest disgrace and take covetousness to be the greatest beggary and basest poverty there is no harm a man can feel by death or sickness or scorn or want when all the alterations in the world will not quiet us one alteration will and that is the change of our opinions concerning things and our estimate of them by this one more will be done then by ten thousand changes The Heathen could say That no man can make another a slave unless he hath first enslaved himself * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Arrian l. 3. cap 24. Be not enthralled to pleasure or pain to hope or fear to life or death and thou art free What he said in this case we may say in all other nothing can overcome him that is not first overcome by his own imaginations and passions Thou art poor perhaps and contemned what of that if thou hast not this beggarly thought also that riches and honour make a man Another hath a bad opinion of thee but what then if thou hast not also a foolish opinion then mens censures are not much to be minded In every thing rule but thy self and thou shalt be at ease because thou wilt be thy self but never wilt thou till then be eased For remember this as a true saying which may be added to the reasons foregoing A proud man hath no God an unpeaceable man hath no neighbour a distrustful man hath no friend and he that is discontented hath not himself Not the rich man or the wise man alwayes possesses himself but in your patience saith our Saviour possess ye your souls Luk. 21.19 We have found therefore where we must begin to lay a foundation for all our rules viz. in our selves But then secondly we must build and firmly seat our selves upon these principles for if we do not use them notwithstanding all that I can say we shall be troubled By the former discourse you may easily perceive that we cannot be at peace without our
Every wise man intends some good to himself in what he doth and therefore unless sorrow will do us some good it is a foolish thing to indulge unto it But can any man that hath had his fill of it tell us what satisfaction it hath given him May we not put all our gains in our eyes as the Proverb is after they have wept so immoderately Doth any man say he is glad that he mourned so much Then he had best mourn again if there be so much gladness and profit in it Had we not better say with David concerning his child when it was dead I shall go to him but he shall not return to me I may bring my self in sorrow to my grave but I cannot bring him up from the dead I cannot water him with my tears as we do a dry plant that he may spring up again but I may easily drown my self and learn others by my example not to weep for me What I would not have them do for me why should I do it for another Why should I make my self miserable and make no body else the better The truth is if there were only no good in it it were the less matter but it doth us likewise not a little harm Though it will end of it self yet it may breed us no small trouble before it end This is all the comfort that such a man hath and it is a very poor one that if his grief do not kill him 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Phot. Epist 234. it will kill it self But many an one hath grief destroyed many a body hath it distempered and given most mortal wounds also to the soul it self Many affections move the soul most vehemently but none more then grief which hath been the cause of madness in some as Plutarch hath observed and in others hath bred incurable diseases and made others to destroy themselves And this it may do either naturally for nothing eats the heart so much as grief nothing casts such a damp on the vital spirits as immoderate sorrows or else providentially by Gods anger who is displeased to see us so angry and repining and often inflicts worse things upon us then those which we causlesly make the matter of so doleful complaints Let us therefore cease that which brings such troubles before it cease it self and when it is ceased gives us a new sorrow to think that we should be so unreasonably sorrowfull We must write upon this as well as upon inordinate joyes Vanity of vanities all is vanity and vexation of Spirit And therefore let us not be troubled now lest we be troubled more afterward to consider how foolishly we were troubled The Fable of Niobe which tells how she turned her self with sorrow into a stone doth but signifie the stupidity and dulness that waits upon grief and the excessive melancholy into which it sometimes casts us which renders us as insensible as a stone Take heed how you grow in love with sadness for it hath no profit wherewithall to recompence your affection to it but pays your folly only with it self and such diseases as ordinarily use to accompany it And we should be the less in love with it because there are so many occasions of it in our lives We need not weep so much for the loss of one thing for we must expect continual losses The world is not such a place that we should take care to spend all our tears on one thing we shall have occasion enough for them if we have any mind to weeping Let us bestow therefore the less upon one because there are so many to sollicite our sorrows And if our souls be tender and apt to receive the impressions of dolefull things we have the more need to comfort our selves for every grief will but make us still more apt to grieve And besides what a folly is it thus to die with continual grief for him who if he did grieve to die his grief continued but a little while He died but once why should we die alwayes with grief He dyed that he might live why should we live only for to die It is certain we must die but of all deaths let us not die with grief and much less for grief about that which we see we cannot avoid our selves But let us be furthest of all from making our life a perpetual death and grieving for that which by grief we may so soon run our selves into IX Ask thy self again Weep no more for thy friend then thou wouldst have had him weep for thee Whether two friends do not think that one of them must die first Do we not see that in the common course of things one man goes before another to his grave Who then if it had been permitted to thy choice wouldst thou have appointed to be the leader unto the other Wouldst thou have given thy self the preheminence and resolved to have shewn him the way Then Death it seems is a good thing for if it were evil we can scarce believe thy self-love is so little as to wish it might be thy portion before another And if it be good then thou mayest soon satisfie the pretence of loving them better then thy self by being glad that they enjoy it before thy self Or wouldst thou have had both gone together and been enclosed in the same Coffin and interred in the same grave Then it seems it is no such great mattter to die as thou makest it seeing thou art so willing to die also And if it be no great matter for thee to live then no more was it unto him If the sorrow of living without him be greater then the sorrow of dying with him why then was not he desirous that thou shouldst die and why did he pray for thy life and health when he dyed And if he would not have thee to die also when he dyed why dost thou then live in a kind of death and enjoyest not thy self nor the pleasures of life Either resolve to die also or else to live as a man should do X. If his death be so sad thou wilt not be able to bear thy own Ask thy self How can I take my own death Certain it is that thou must die also but if thou canst not part with a friend how canst thou part with thy self How wilt thou endure that soul and body should be separated if thou canst not shake hands with another body distinct from thy self Are not they the most antient friends is not their union most strict and close Can two men cleave so together as thy soul embraces its companion What then wilt thou do then when their bonds shall be untied if thou canst not bear the rupture of lesser cords of love What wilt thou think when thy soul sits on thy lips and gives thy body a farewell kiss if thou canst not close the eyes of thy friend without so many tears Will thy soul mourn after thy body is dead as